#mdzs shitpost

[twistedappletree]

[cultivateme]

[jcs-singular-slut-strand]

Couple goals 🥰

[jin-zixun]

Also kinda funny? Like Jin Zixun is definitely 100% like "Dollar Store Wen Chao" like we can all agree on that, right? Like how his Uncle only wishes he could be as cool as Wen Ruohan, Jin Zixun only wishes he could... Be as cool as Wen Chao? I mean ok, sure.

Like he tries to bully Wei Wuxian and the Lans, but it's never like... Serious. Like he peer pressures the Lans into drinking like he's the villain of an after-school special and he has a tantrum because Wei Wuxian defeated a bunch of monsters in the Phoenix Mountain Hunt. But like, Wen Chao absolutely did not hold back on fucking with the most powerful cultivators in the worst way possible. Maybe just because he had his daddy backing him up and JGS just does NOT have the same back-up potential as WRH. He gets killed after destroying one of the great sects and causing the birth of the Yiling Laozu (more or less) who is incredibly powerful and comes back to kill him

But Jin Zixun, he saves his serious bullying only for people who are substantially weaker than him and it's only on a technicality he doesn't get done in by Su She.

look i even made a shitty meme

[yumemiruuuu]

Wei Wuxian: Jiang Cheng’s drunk and he’s been flirting with a tree for 20 minutes.

Wei Wuxian: Update, he’s on his knees now. I think he’s proposing.

Jiang Cheng: (storming off) YOU’RE ALL THE SAME!!!

Wei Wuxian: I think he got rejected lol

[thegreatgremlingang]

my opinion is that Nie Huaisang either sleeps in a big version of those little child pajamas with the unflattering fit that's both comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time and the dinosaur print and front buttons and everything OR a slutty silk bathrobe with ruffles and lace and shit but plot twist he is buttfuck naked underneath and he has no habit of tying the belt either

[tigrelope]

Jiang Cheng: Hey I went to Cutsleeve Island and everyone was waiting for you.

Wei Wuxian: Why were you on Cutsleeve Island??

[starrywangxian]

how the mdzs characters would sign off emails

inspired by this post and this post

Wei Wuxian: Thanks - I'll see myself out, Wei Wuxian

Lan Wangji: Sincelery, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, Cloud Recesses, Gusu Lan Sect... (he would include full titles and addresses etc.)

Lan Xichen: Many thanks! Lan Xichen, Zewu-Jun. (it's passive aggressive to other sect leaders but to lwj he adds emojis - yes he emails his brother shh)

Lan Sizhui: Have a nice day, Lan Sizhui! :)

Lan Jingyi: Never stop the grind, Lan Jingyi - P.S. Plz don't fail me Hanguang-jun :(

Lan Qiren: Regrettably, Lan Qiren.

Qingheng-jun: That's all, Qingheng-jun.

Madam Lan: Talk soon! (i recognise this is ironic... but i feel like she'd write something really casual and nice :))

Lan Yi: Okay then. (i feel like she'd be very straight to the point lmao)

Ouyang Zizhen: Fare thee well, Ouyang Zizhen! :)

Jiang Cheng: Please stop reading the email.

Jiang Fengmian: Stay tuned, Jiang Fengmian.

Yu Ziyuan: May the lord forgive your sins, Yu Ziyuan.

Jiang Yanli: Thanks again, Jiang Yanli! :) ...Don't cross me.

Wei Changze: Sent via smoke signals. Best, Wei Changze. (i feel like he'd also write a joke but treat it like a fact lmao)

Cangse Sanren: Sent from the future ;) Cangse Sanren! (i feel like she'd write a jokey and fun sign off <3)

Jin Guangyao: You're the best boss ever (lol jk), Lianfang-zun.

Jin Ling: don't care + didn't ask + L + ratio. jin ling.

Jin Zixuan: Lukewarm regards, Jin Zixuan.

Jin Guangshan: Ciao! Jin Guangshan. (he tries to be friendly and cool because he thinks everyone likes him but he's just annoying and everyone hates him)

Madam Jin: Thank you. (P.S. Please send any important sect-related emails to me, my husband is useless and doesn't do anything).

Jin Zixun: The best, Jin Zixun.

Qin Su: See you in hell, Qin Su.

Mo Xuanyu: So long and thanks for all the fish! Mo Xuanyu.

Nie Huaisang: Stay hydrated, queens! Nie Huaisang <3

Nie Mingjue: Over and Out, Chifeng-zun.

Wen Ruohan: May the Night bless you, signed Overlord Wen Ruohan.

Wen Ning: Apologies for existing :') Wen Qionglin

Wen Qing: Please don't contact me for 3-5 business days - kindest regards, Wen Qing, Head Physician.

Wen Chao: Mic drop, Wen Chao.

Wen Xu: Thanks, enjoy the hours you have left. Wen Xu.

Wen Zhuliu: Regards, Wen Zhuliu.

Wang Lingjiao: Live, laugh, love! Wang Lingjiao xoxox

Luo Qingyang: At a loss for words, Mianmian.

Xiao Xingchen: Live long and prosper, Xiao Xingchen!

Song Lan: May God be with you in these trying times, Song Zichen.

A-Qing: God's favourite child, A-Qing.

Xue Yang: YOur FrIendly NEIghBOur... XuE ChEngmEI.

Su She: Remember the name: Su Minshan.

Baoshan Sanren: That's it. Baoshan Sanren. (i feel like she'd be straight to the point too)

[scrivvle74]

if this happens again I’m gonna assume I’m somehow accidentally doing it on purpose

[chiixcat]

Yiling Laozu posting stuff on r/im14andthisisdeep then reposting it on r/cringe 13 years later with a different account ykwim

[lurkinginnernarrator]

“I was just going to dress you,” Wei Wuxian said.

His expression and tone of voice were as compassionate as that of an old grandma wanting to add warm layers for her little grandson. Jin Ling clung to the wall, his hair loose and disheveled.

“I’M NOT A CUT-SLEEVE!!!”

Wei Wuxian was delighted. “What a coincidence, I am!!!”

MDZS Book I, Chapter 6: The Malevolent

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

modern wlwangxian lan wangji gets a phalloplasty for sex reasons send tweet

[imperfectpompom]

Wei Wuxian going through an early teens emo phase and wearing fingerless gloves every single day.

Jiang Cheng spent those years building a solid wad of blackmail material. (He's saving it for Wei Wuxian's wedding.)

[jcs-singular-slut-strand]

All hail the Yilling Patriarch!!!

[yumemiruuuu]

I come bearing sustenance 😞💅✨

off-topic but imagine if huaisang got drafted into war