#md intern

[a-pureevil]

Yeva saves Mitchell

[ghostcashewart]

h... housune miku. she's here to do medical malpractice.

blame @stuffydollband for this

[eveledoze]

holding hands

[bowofbalance]

I absolutely believe that Foreman is gay. I have two reasons for that. First and most obvious, absolutely no one who is attracted to women at all would let themselves fumble Thirteen that hard. There is absolutely no way. Second, he grew up evangelical. That's actually canon (for once in my life). And he's not married, he doesn't have kids, none of that. Even though he's a doctor and objectively would be able to take care of a family.

Since he's gay, he has to deal with the absolute worst case of internalized homophobia you can possibly imagine. He definitely grew up hearing that gay people are all going to hell and that they deserve it and everything else like that. So young Foreman never even let himself see that he was gay because that was just too dangerous for him. Which means that adult Foreman is completely ignorant of who he is, except on the rare occasions when he loses control (have you seen how he looks at Chase if he's been drinking?). Those episodes do put him in a spiral of self hate though, so he keeps clinging to control more and more over the course of the show.

And at least Chase knows that, and he tries to tell Foreman that he's gay exactly the same way House would: by calling him repressed and hooking him up to a monitor that he rigged. We never see Foreman get over the repression/internalized homophobia even after he got everything he wanted, which is incredibly sad. But Chase still keeps trying to drag him out of his shell and I think it's because he sees what's really going on with Foreman (Catholic guilt sees evangelical shame, I need to write more about that).

Foreman is kind of like his own tragedy and we never get to see enough of him As Himself instead of him As House 2.0.

[devotioncrater]

the levels of repression in both house and wilson…yet they are opposite of one another. house routinely makes gay innuendos (whether sexual and/or romantic) towards wilson, yet wilson doesn’t take him serious at all.

and this constant rejection from wilson is both a buoy as well as a giant wall. house pushes their relationship time and time again. wilson refuses to let the nature of it change. house brings up a romantic getaway, wilson shoots him down. house sabotages wilson moving out, wilson doesn’t stay. house allows himself to be The Other Woman regardless of how bonnie or wilson’s other ex-wives feel. in a way, it boosts his ego and makes him feel special. he is allowed to have wilson in this way.

amber is an extension of house; she is house in a woman’s body. house can accept it because he has expressed before that if wilson were a woman, they would’ve been married already. so why can’t the same be true for wilson? let him find a woman version of house. house loves wilson so much that he goes into a risky surgery to try and save amber. this is his Place simply because wilson and him cannot escape the confines of compulsive heterosexuality.

and it is compulsive. wilson never feels good enough or secure enough in a relationship outside of his and house’s. he cheats, he lies, he manipulates. all because at his core, wilson’s insecurities render him into a selfish person. he has affairs and he prioritizes house over his wives, because he doesn’t feel like his own wants/needs are met by his wives. or that they should/deserve to be met. he doesn’t know how to communicate them!! he maybe even feels guilty for having them. because even to house, he communicates these desires in metaphors or pranks or whatever other indirect way he sees fit. but the difference between house and his wives is that wilson has no tangible, legal sense of obligation to house. if house doesn’t meet his expressed needs, fuck him!! they don’t owe anything to each other!! the rejection will sting less.

wilson chases women on such a compulsive level that it’s nearly a reaction to whatever house has done. it’s affair after affair. wilson moves in with his patient during the time house is on a ketamine treatment. house, his patient who seemingly no longer needs vicodin. no longer needs him. if wilson is no longer needed, he parasites to the next host. why? because he doesn’t know who he is on his own. why? because he has trouble expressing his own core needs as a person. and as a result, these core (repressed) needs seep out sideways.

so why threaten this sense of safety he gets with keeping house at a platonic level? if they were to entangle into a relationship, wilson would be wrapped under an Obligation Gauze. there is a fear he’d lose house because, historically, all of his relationships end in loss. because, historically, he cannot express his needs to his partners due to his fear of rejection.

and then wilson becomes terminal. and then death becomes bigger than an anxious fear of loss/rejection.

“i need you to tell me that you love me.”

wilson, my brother in christ. house cannot say those words to you because for all the years you’ve known him, you’ve denied him it. the only way house can tell you that he loves you is by burning his home down and faking his death. he is nothing without you. you know it as well as he does. these things remain unspoken because that is the way you’ve molded the relationship to be.

wilson has house on a leash. house runs as far out as possible until the leash yanks him back. when wilson finally trusts house enough to let him go off-leash, house is too conditioned to act as expected.

and this conditioning in house is not just wilson’s doing. it’s primarily house’s own doing. his own self-loathing chains him to wilson’s side. as an addict, yes, but also as a support system. house hates himself so viscerally that it affects every interpersonal relationship he has, including with wilson. but wilson never, ever leaves no matter how bad it gets.

also. who else other than wilson gives him a sense of bodily autonomy? not stacy, not cuddy, not his fellows. wilson doesn’t pity him. wilson enables him. wilson lies for him. house will selfishly keep wilson forever because wilson is all he reliably has.

so house can push and prod wilson into gay romantic/sexual innuendos, but when wilson yanks that leash, he’ll drop it. it’s a buoy for reality checking where he is with wilson. it’s a giant wall for enabling his self-hatred thought process that even his boy best friend has limitations to his love for him (or at least what is acceptable). addict line of thinking.

they both eat each other up like an ouroboros. where does wilson’s repression end and house’s begin?

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

wow i can't believe that house is soooo dedicated to stealing wilson's food that he sneakily deleted a voicemail offering wilson an apartment just so that wilson would keep living with him. mmm those delicious pancakes and salads and sandwiches yes indeed it's all about the FOOD there are no other reasons because house is very straight he just likes the FOOD and he just wants himself and wilson's FOOD to be together forever alright???

[kalpeavaris]

how my creative life feels at the moment

[houseswife]

find it sooo funny that foreman is cuddy now and chase is house because although cuddy was an enabler she at least had some semblance of what you’re meant to do as a doctor. so she could hold up the facade a tiny bit. chase is gonna walk in like “I need approval to amputate this guy’s perfectly working legs and then re-attach them using dental floss. without anaesthesia btw. and we’re gonna hypnotise his medical proxy to get consent. we think he has a mild mint allergy and I need the answer” and foreman isn’t even gonna look up from his paperwork before responding “k lol”

[junipum]

the boy is HOMEEEE ignore old plushies my bookshelf is a mess rn. why does he look so sad

[txttabloid]

Lots of ngl requests

Commission sheet

Murder drones Fankid server

Reblogs are much appreciated

[md-confessions]

After seeing the post of that VERY cringe theory of Mitchell being Doll's dad, it got me thinking. What if he is actually Doll's father, but not in THAT way. I'm saying that Doll's dad, the drone we've seen in the photos, in the flashback, in the apartment, he IS Mitchell. Think about it. Mitchell purposefully kept Yeva outside the church, either because he sensed something was off or he realized she was miserable and was trying to give her a chance to escape. The only other human we've ever seen who has actually shown kindness to the Drones was Tessa. What if post collapse Yeva found Mitchell dying, remembered that he tried to help her, and somehow converted him into a drone body in order to survive. The photos showed Doll's dad crouched down, as if having an existential crisis. We also saw that he always carried a camera, and his corpse was still holding the camera. Mitchell was walking around with the recording helmet cam, maybe if he is in fact the drone we've seen, he carried around this camera to document the Murder Drones and his family.

he put WHAT in yeva!?

[marc--chilton]

i'm gonna sound insane just hear me out okay

when he sees me from waitress but it's hilson and the choruses are from different POVs from either side from the not-actually-unrequited love.

like. wilson, too nervous to even let himself imagine a relationship with house going well, only imagining terrible outcomes because they're both so awful to each other AS FRIENDS yet they've been friends for 20 years anyway, and really, what does that say about them?

but then there's house, who rarely ever lets people in one way or another, finding them boring at best and imbecilic at worst, yet is so soft hearted that despite his cynical and misanthropic nature, he falls so incredibly hard, so fast, he never stood a chance when it came to loving wilson. it's a rush, it's a terror, he's hooked on him forever, it's pitiful and he knows it but god even just feeling hopeful for a chance is almost enough for him

[sugaredoleander]

i say this with love. house fanfic writers, if you ever want me to beta something for medical accuracy, i'll fucking do it no questions asked

[therantingsage]

When the big wolf thing you befriended who for some reason treats you as an equal is so nice to you that you immediately start dreaming about letting yourself be emotionally and physically vulnerable around him AND kissing him under the moonlight maybe: uh oh

[devotioncrater]

"i'm not gonna say anything. i'm just gonna walk into her office and i'm gonna kiss her"

now why tf did house look down at his desk and start stammering and blushing after wilson said that 🤨 "cuddy likes bold" but he does too ??? arguably more than her ???

wait no pause. actually. that entire conversation he's soooooo hyperfocused on what wilson would do. almost as if he's envisioning himself in cuddy's shoes. he also like. keeps looking at the table, looking at wilson, looking at the table, looking at wilson with an expression that's expectant. he thinks wilson will connect the dots. holy shit.

he wants wilson to connect the dots. but he can't...he can't admit it to himself. so he role plays as cuddy. he hides behind this made-up, fabricated version of reality where wilson's got a crush on cuddy. it's perfect because the only other likely person wilson would go see that play with is cuddy.

after the play, house asks for the dirty details yet 1) gets frustrated at wilson for not sticking to house's own script of Going On A Date To A Play = Sex. and then 2) gets jealous at the thought of wilson having sex after the play with the real cuddy instead of him.

there's mixed, complex feelings written all over the wall here. on one hand, house wants wilson to fall into bed with cuddy because that means that by extension from fabricating this entire thing, wilson is actually falling into bed with house who is merely role-playing as cuddy. fantasy gaga. "i'll miss you. you were a good friend." = the nature of our relationship has changed.

HOWEVER on the other hand, house can't stand the thought of wilson falling into bed with cuddy because it'd be Too Real, Too Literal. it'd be wilson having real sex with the real cuddy and — because this is wilson here — it'd be wilson having a real romantic relationship with the real cuddy. notably not with house. it'd completely fuck the fantasy up.

but house is too far gone and also likes to fuck around and find out. he knows wilson's a hopeless romantic, so he sends wilson flowers in cuddy's name. wilson interprets this as cuddy being sexually interested, which pleases house because he is sexually interested in his boy best friend.

house is overly invested in hearing what wilson's plan is to ask cuddy out after wilson says he doesn't know what "being straight" is. they're on two different wavelengths where house thinks wilson's read between the lines to figure out it was house, not cuddy, this whole time. ergo to him, wilson's "i don't know what that [being straight] is" = i'm interested in you too and i recognize that cuddy is a metaphor; i'm now knowingly playing into it.

meanwhile wilson is literally talking about the real cuddy.

house becomes clearly aroused flustered at the thought of wilson barging into cuddy's office to wordlessly kiss her. house enjoys the way wilson approaches sex & romance differently than him. i think a part of him wants a grand romantic gesture like what wilson described. "i can't stop thinking about her" / "maybe she's right. maybe...maybe this is worth exploring."

and the funny thing is, is that the office wilson does barge right into is house's office.

"you sent those flowers to me!" "yes, because you took her to a play. because actually you do want to march down there and kiss her." "no! i don't!" "yes, you do."

it's just a prank, right? it's just a retaliation, right? calling it a prank or retaliation is a rationalization to deny away how house's attraction is boiling over. he wants to explore things with wilson, wants to get rid of the "good friend" label, but he's way! too! repressed! at least to initiate it outright. so he concocts this convoluted thing just to get wilson to make the first move because, historically, wilson holds the reins in their relationship. they also, historically, work their boundaries out through pranks. why should this situation be any different?

and wilson has this look of slow, frustrated realization before he says, "you're right" because he knows house. wilson is now in on the metaphor, so he admits that he does want to kiss metaphor cuddy.

but when house's face falls, "seriously?" wilson goes right back into The Status Quo "no" because as soon as the metaphor became Too Real, Too Literal, it shook house out of it thanks to his jealousy. that, and maybe wilson — Dr. Comphet himself — got cold feet, too.

they're ships in the night. when one of them is in on the metaphor, the other isn't. house knows how to woo wilson, wilson knows how to woo house. and yet they can't!!! ever!!!! admit it at the same time!!!! house pulls on a push door; wilson pushes on a pull door; the door doesn't open

[nerospaceart]

Enjoying A Drink Together

Speedpaint