#maybe this is why im so fucking lonely

[dekarios]

im literally so sick to death of finding out the person who was telling my friends im into incest with zero proof to make them block me, while telling everyone i accused them of being a pedo to make them block me, literally posted on their blog my fucking name saying if youre friends with fray block me, AND allowed people who dislike me already to misgender me to them without correcting their pronoun usage despite previously being my friend and knowing my pronouns, is constantly posting i am the victim woe is me i isolated myself and no one likes me anymore posts and saying theyre leaving tumblr to come back 5 hours later fucking weekly or straight up remaking over and over, all because you cannot fucking apologise for the shit you did, not even just to me but multiple people you wronged, OFC PEOPLE DONT LIKE YOU youre a chronic fucking liar who runs away when you get caught in your lies, WHOS COOL WITH MISGENDERING TRANS FOLKS IF YOU DONT LIKE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[the-vibing-ghoul]

some people will be all about mental health awareness and leftist ideals of at least tolerating the mentally ill who show ''ugly'' symptoms until it's someone they know and ''care'' about having a bad day and acting like it in a way they don't find appealing

[gaoau]

smth smth uhhh tsurune character analysis time wsg

i've never done this before in my life and i shouldn't even be doing it cause that's crazy tf BUT hi :blush: i'm Kisaragi Nanao's number one fan and hater simultaneously and i need to talk about it. chances are none of this will make the slightest bit of sense, cause thinking about his brain for more than five minutes usually has me going around in circles like a headless chicken. its been almost a year and i have not been able to stop thinking about him, not even in my most trying times so i might as well do the one thing i'm good at and write each and every single one of my thoughts down so the void can eat them all up. my friends are tired of hearing me talk about this so now its your turn, people in the tsurune but more specifically the Nanao tag on tumblr dot com. i'll try to avoid the Kaito talk as much as i can cause i wanna make this solely about Nanao, but i also understand that a lot of their character development goes hand in hand with one another, so it's sort of inevitable

to be completely honest, i wanted to be a Ryohei girlie so bad, i would've even settled for Seiya. i just knew the moment Nanao pulled up and was presented as the flirty annoying playboy, i wouldn't like him. i said it with my whole chest, firmly believing i would find absolutely no reason anywhere in his character to enjoy him. motherfucker i have never been more wrong in my life. at first glance, it doesn't even look like there's much to talk about, cause he doesn't do a whole lot in the first season. except he does. there's only snippets of depth in his character that exist, but he does not let show in order to watch over everyone around him. his introduction is loud and frivolous, especially with one of his first spoken sentences being about his "hakama beauty."

sure, he's good at kyudo, but he's not particularly excellent nor passionate about the sport. this, however, is not true, which builds up in his character as the first season progresses and eventually overflows in the second season. for a character that, in universe, is shown to be in the spotlight consistently ever since he was a child, he's none of that on the range, because that isn't his place. his position on the range is not as important as it is outside of it; he is the yonteki, he is neither at the beginning nor the middle nor the end, he cannot show off, he cannot be the centre of attention as he tends to be. it's true that he attracts a lot of attention and plays into it naturally, because he enjoys it and extroverts, however unfortunate, do exist, but he knows when to take a step back and when to go all out.

there's something i can't ever seem to quite put my finger on. although he is naturally easy-going and playful, this is only a ramped-up front he uses to watch from the back. it's like he's hiding, like he's staying nonchalant and uncommitted so things wash over him. he's blunt. he's so blunt. he really doesn't sugarcoat things, he just doesn't say them until he needs to. i don't wanna call it manipulation, cause that's got a rather negative connotation, but i do wanna call it manipulation, cause that's what it is. he knows how to manipulate responses and reactions with how easy he reads the people around him, and he uses all of that in a very level-headed way to keep peace, though it's always mainly Kaito. it's as if people are malleable to him. it's in the way he pulls Ryohei into doing that whole charade to get Kaito to like Minato, in how he straight up tells Kaito "yeah, it's cause you're being annoyingly tsundere, we're just giving you a push," or in how he tells Minato "yeah, Kacchan don't like you, but he's working on it."

he knows, he's watching, and he's making sure everyone is being accounted for without meddling too much. he sets things into motion with the right push, but he stays out of it, uninvolved. he keeps going on and on about how he's only doing kyudo with nothing but simple bull-headedness, like it doesn't matter all that much, like he can just shrug things off and let Kaito's impulsive comments not get to him. he plays it off, he plays everything off, leaning into that flighty, frivolous prince charming persona, but at the end of the day, he's the most mature and emotionally intelligent of the bunch. 

most of his development is built around connections. whenever Kaito reminds him that he is not taking kyudo seriously, that kyudo is not a game, that kyudo is more than just fun and looking pretty in hakama, Nanao keeps quiet. it's something he knows very well, because none of those are any of the reasons he ever picked up a bow in the first place. he has been watching over Kaito since they were children, going so far as to follow him into kyudo and into the same high-school. however, this is something that Kaito does not recognize for the longest time—not until Nanao actively blows up on him and spells it out for him. Nanao doesn't need for his efforts to be recognized, because he is only doing it to keep peace and read everyone carefully—not only Kaito—to figure out what makes who tick.

he supports his buddies from the back and intervenes only when it's necessary. he aims to please without being self-abandoning; he keeps true to his own self while being a perfect fit for everyone. despite claiming his reasons for shooting are frivolous and superficial, Nanao has an understanding of what sets the people around him off that makes keeping him around necessary, because he shoots for Kaito and now for this team, rather than the target in front of him. he knows, he's so perceptive of it all. there's a scene stuck in my head where Ryohei tries to speak up about the whole Seiya-Nikaido interaction that was bugging him, but he ended up going back on it last minute, and Nanao straight up went "bro, either you commit to it or don't talk."

idk!! call it his big brother instincts, cause that's another thing. things do kinda make a lot more sense when you consider that he is the only one out of everyone in the club (that we know of, cause there's not much about my girls) who is an older sibling. Kaito has two older sisters, Seiya has an older brother, Ryohei has an older sister, and Minato is an only child. Nanao is the only big brother. god i'm losing my fucking mind.

i called him loud and i'll keep calling him loud, but in all honesty Nanao is a lot more silent than he seems. he flirts with his fanclub and attempts it too with the girls in the club, he is quite loud with his "Merha!", he pushes and prods all around with funny comments because, at the end of the day, he is still an entertainer, a mood-maker, and most of all, he's a child. he's still a fifteen-year-old kid that's just dicking around with his friends cause it's not that deep. he's a kid. however, he is consistently reading everyone around him, keeping peace from behind them, working his way around everyone’s quirks and kinks. he's been somewhat forced into this caretaking role, taking comments like "it'd be nice if you and Kaito went to the same school so you can keep him in check" to heart. he too wishes he could be there for his cousin to reel him back in when he steps out of line. and he does, he tries, being the first one to react and try to pull Kaito back before he can bash Minato's face in.

he does things carefully in a way that won't put pressure on anyone other than himself, watching and watching and watching and being so hypersensitive to the smallest of mood changes from anyone. that one little sigh Ryohei gave, to which he immediately went, "what's wrong?" while nobody else batted an eye. when he is the one whose patience finally runs thin, he confronts Kaito about it with truths he has never needed to explain because Kaito would not have been able to digest them properly, and Nanao has always known.

he competes not to win, but to keep up, to stay with his cousin and his team; not approaching a sport with a competitive mindset would be a hindrance to the team, which does not mean he is competitive himself. and he loves kyudo, too, just as much. his expressions and mannerisms are subtle and soft in a way that anyone would miss, but he is happy to see the people that surround him stay on track, with or without his help.

i lose my train of thought every time i start a new sentence cause there's so much i have to say about Nanao. there's a crazy amount of points i go over in my head time and time again. the fact that his hit rate is so consistent, enough to keep up with Kaito and almost with Seiya. how he does not give one flying fuck about Noririn, but he indulges Daigo anyway cause it's fun and it works and he's got nothing to lose by showing a little bit of interest in some guy's idol obsession. how he was watching from the outside, because Kaito never told him what happened with Masaki or why he suddenly wanted to start kyudo, but he was so into it that he was going in all on his own. (i say "never told him" but there's that audio drama where he did, in fact, tell him and the boys.) how kyoani uses him as a sort of bridge between the girlies and the boys just cause he's that much of a social chameleon, i guess. how he's the only other character aside from Minato, the MC mind you, who has not one but TWO features in the character songs album. he's a bridge dawg he's a fit for everyone and anyone. i dunno man i have so many thoughts and zero words to articulate them, but i love this kid. shoutout to this kid, i hope he's having a great day and his lemon teas are always the right temperature. lil bro needs a pat on the back and i wanna be the one to give it to him.

[evansbby]

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[tovarishch-dyke]

I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

[ajxrn-archive]

I need to be put in a waffle iron or something

[hauntingblue]

Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo

[stupidg0th]

overshare in tags, alcohol tw

[nomairuins]

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

[tarpitbell]

11:23

I'm a damn leech. That's all I am

[teknikolor-walters]

i love being such a subhuman freak i scare my mom so bad she nearly throws up

[filthyjanuary]

feeling sad :(

[doodlboy]

Augh..local man going to bed bc he has to wake up in 6 hours and work 10

[scarletcomet]

scrolling through instagram and it's making me want to die

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Oh hello 3am existential crisis. Haven't seen you around in a while...can't say I missed you.