#maybe theyre trying to see who blinks first

[youcantdateosmosisjones]

"You were a wonderful experience"

"You were... everything"

except I'm a complete liar and that's not even remotely them, but listen anyways

-

Spreaver, except it's Sparrow who's in the mindset of "it physically pains me to admit how much I'm intrigued and tempted by the idea of chasing desire, but considering how I've devoted my entire life to saving Albion- and now that I've got 2 kids and a kingdom to carry the responsibility of- I could never disregard the sacrifices I've made in the name of the greater good. Especially to someone like you. As Theresa has said to me countless times, my destiny is to become something for the people. That is my burden to carry, and something that I will live by indefinitely. Me and you both understand that weight, despite how we refuse to acknowledge that. We are both heros, after all- And we are the only ones left of our little quartet. I do take such comfort in the knowledge that I am human, and that I can't always be my image- That even you, as deplorable as you are, can, too, be human (as imperfect and needlessly complicated as they come). It is something that's become unfamiliar to me as of late. I never regretted whatever it was we had, despite how little it actually meant in the moment. Typically as just another way to deal with your presence without just killing you right then and there- but nonetheless gave me the same level of emotional release. We were both equals, and knew the others limits, I suppose. How far to push- what spots were sore- and just which buttons to press. We both knew the game, and we played- and it was the most mindless, yet instinctive thing I did for quite a few years. It was one of the few things that still made me feel as though I was living a life I could've had... But that will never happen. The only way I know how to make up for the countless lives lost since that fateful day, is to repay them with my own. I still can't shake the feeling of selfishness in my actions in acknowledging you. A Hero- and especially a Monarch- should not be one to indulge, after all. For that, I could never choose a life like yours- nor you. You were never meant to be apart of this; not for long."

And Reaver, who's currently like "You have been quite possibly one of the only conquests of mine that has made me feel alive in the past 200 or so years. There was always the knowledge with us that either one could end the other, which was a feeling I had not known from any other noticeable person (except Lucien, maybe). However, you still wouldn't actively turn your back on me whenever you had the chance. Why ever you did that, I found it of the utmost excitement. Whether it was your power; status; place in society; reputation; or some other grandiose factor that made you so alluring (as many other countless material items have been to me over my life), I still feel as though you were perhaps an equal to me. I'll admit how much potential I saw in utilizing that- I am an opportunist, after all- and yet I still didn't... why I let you become such an obstacle to me, I'll never know. I upped my typical antics in the hopes you'd take an issue with them- I did love our petty banter- but your refusal to respond beyond small petty gestures just made it more of a challenge. And even despite how you so unkindly usurped me, I still made an effort to prove that it meant nothing to me; that'd I was still as glorious as ever. I was Reaver; and no matter how much of a problem it posed to your kingdom, I'd still be right here; unscathed. You were an irritating- unpredictable- and such an unlikely source of such inconvenience to my plans. Perhaps that is why I was so prepared to see you fail... Perhaps that's why I still think of you from time to time, knowing that didn't happen. Not that I'll ever admit such a fact, knowing what you know about me. Still, in the wake of your passing, I feel as though it was all for nothing. That reoccurring thought, that all my countless endeavors somehow didn't make my sacrifices worth the life I gave up so much to live for, resurfaced, just then. I mean- if I couldn't even get back at you for having such an impact on me (my reputation, my empire, my house!! Need I even go on?), why did I ever spend that much effort on you in the first place? Why on earth I let you become something in my mind, I'll never forgive myself for. No... I'd never do that. I'll never forgive you. And for that crime, you will never be a name I bring up again; Stripped of any illusion of significance. In order to completely forget such troubling revelations, I've decided to once again indulge in the short-lived highs of excitement and exploits. In fact, I'll take advantage of this new era and make a name for myself- A proper one. The only way to drive those dreadful thoughts away is to prove them wrong, after all. Meaning: I'll build a new empire for myself. A far grander one. Perhaps, reaching the status you once possessed will finally erase you from such universal importance."

They're so toxic, they've started to rot my brain

I'm a 'petty, stubborn, shallow (masking his deep intellectualism and the torment) bitch' reaver x 'unbothered, "fuck it we ball" (deeply traumatized and not coping as well as they thought they were), throws chairs indiana jones style; sparrow' preacher

[chrisstvrns]

𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐦𝐞: 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 | 𝐜.𝐬.

warnings: fluff of chris telling reader hes moving back to boston, and hes gonna be there for her and madi!!

word count: 1,111

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

you were sat in the living room of chris’ parents house, the same place where he broke up with you nearly 7 months ago. he had texted you the night prior, telling you to come by his place with madison, saying he apparently had something important to tell you. 

you were sitting on the couch, feeding madi as she softly cooed in your arms, clinging to your necklace. 

“wheres my baby?” you hear chris gently shout from the kitchen, making his way to the living room 

you bite back a soft smile, glancing down at madi as her father enters the room, crouching down infront of you. “come ‘ere, baby girl” he softly whispers, his eyes full of love as he reaches for the baby. you gently hand her to him, your heart full of love and adoration. 

“i, uh, i need to tell you something..” he mutters, looking up at you as he sits on the floor with madi

you hum, looking into his eyes. 

“im moving back to boston.. me and nick and matt. we all are..” he quickly says, like hes been waiting to say it for ages. 

“what.. what do you mean?” your voice is soft, nearly hesitant as you look at him

“i know were not technically together again.. yet.. but, madi needs me. i missed so much, the whole pregnancy, the birth, the first two weeks of her life, im her dad. and she needs me. and nick and matt, theyre her uncles. i already talked to them, were moving back home. LA doesnt need us. you do. madi does. we’ll keep the house in LA as like, a vacation house, or something, but were coming home.” 

your face softens at his words, staring into his eyes. of course you still loved him, how couldnt you? but this just proved it even more. he was willing to do whatever it took to get you back, no matter how hard you resisted. 

“chris, you cant.. you guys moved to LA for a reason, i.. your lives are there now. you have all your friends, and nicks only spacecamp office is there, the fresh love office is there, you.. i cant make you do that.” you whisper, your voice cracking. 

“you are not making me do anything. i want to. i need to. madi’s my daughter. and you.. god, youre the love of my life. your the mother of my child, and i will always love you. im not asking you to get back together. not yet, at least. im telling you that im stepping up, and im gonna be a father to madi.” 

tears threatened to spill down your cheeks, and you quickly blinked them away, trying to maintain your composure. madi let out a soft babble, completely unaware of the emotional weight filling the room. chris gently bounced her in his arms, his expression unwavering as he waited for you to process what he’d just said.  

“you really mean this,” you whispered, more a statement than a question.  

“with everything in me,” he assured, his voice steady and sure. “i’m done being halfway there for the people who matter most. madi deserves better, and so do you.”  

the sincerity in his eyes made it impossible to doubt him. you’d spent so many months trying to rebuild yourself, trying to learn how to live without him. but hearing this—seeing him fight to be present, not just for madi but for you too—tugged at every guarded part of your heart.  

“what if things don’t work out?” you asked quietly, voicing the fear you’d carried since he first walked away.  

he exhaled softly, shifting madi so he could better meet your gaze. “then i’ll still be here. no matter what. not as your boyfriend, maybe not even as someone you love again. but always as her dad.”  

his conviction broke something inside you, cracking the walls you'd built so carefully.  

“and nick and matt are really okay with this?” you asked skeptically, needing to hear it one more time.  

chris chuckled softly, a genuine sound that eased some of the tension in your chest. “more than okay. nick said madi already has his heart, she had it as soon as he found out you were pregnant. and matt? you know he pretends to be the tough guy, but you should’ve seen him when i asked him if we could all move back. practically packed his bags that night.”  

you laughed despite yourself, a soft, breathless sound that mingled with the warmth building in your chest.  

“you’re crazy, you know that?”  

“crazy about you,” he said without hesitation, his lips quirking into a small, familiar smile.  

the weight of everything lingered between you — the past mistakes, the heartbreak, and now, the tentative hope blooming in its place. maybe things weren’t fixed yet. maybe they never would be entirely. but this moment? it felt like a step toward something better.  

“you better not screw this up again,” you whispered, half teasing, half serious.  

“i won’t,” he promised, his voice low and resolute. “i swear, i won’t.”  

and for the first time in what felt like forever, you believed him.  

“you said youre keeping the LA house?” 

he nods, looking up at him witha genuine look in his eyes. 

���maybe.. if were all okay, and if me and you, if we ever get back together.. maybe we can move back out there? you know i loved that house, and you, nick, and matt, if youre keeping it, just as a vacation house for now, maybe when madis a bit older, we can move back out there?” 

his eyes nearly fill with tears at that, youre small confession of maybe wanting to get back together with him nearly killing him. he instantly nods, shifting madi into one arm, reaching to hold your hand with his free hand. 

“yes. please, yes. in two, three, four, hell, even five years, come back out to LA. all of my friends there miss you. and when they find out, and finally get to meet madi, theyll go crazy. please.” you peppers the back of your hand in kisses, looking into your eyes

your eyes well with tears, looking down at him with a genuine look as you whisper “i love you.” 

“i love you too.” 

“always have.”

“and i always will.”

and you knew that was it. that promise, the small saying, that to anyone else it would probably confuse, but that saying you and chris made up when you were fifteen. that promise to stick together forever, no matter what happens. 

you loved him. and he loved you. you always had. and you always will.

────────────୨ৎ────────────

a/n: IM WORKING ON PART SIX I PROMISE.

- aurora ᯓ✮⋆˙

find other parts of this series here

likes and reblogs are always greatly appreciated! ੈ✩‧₊˚

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[mxl633]

Im thinking about ningning and giselle who spend all their time together except for one day during a late night convo, ningning admits that she wonders if theyre just friends or more than that and giselle starts wondering about it and realizes that she does feel a certain way for ningning anddddd 😓😓

I shall deliver ur request!!

More than just friends

non-idol!Ningning x non-idol!Giselle

Warnings:just as the req actually,kissing!!, wuh luh wuh being wuh luh wuh

The dorm room was quiet, save for the faint hum of Giselle’s laptop. Outside, the city buzzed faintly in the distance, but it felt like another world entirely. Inside, it was just the two of them, as it always was.

Ningning lay sprawled across Giselle’s bed, scrolling absentmindedly on her phone, while Giselle sat cross-legged on the floor, tinkering with a playlist. It was late —well past midnight—but neither of them seemed in a hurry to sleep.

“Hey, Giselle,” Ningning said suddenly, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, almost tentative.

“Yeah?” Giselle glanced up, pushing her glasses up her nose.

“Do you ever…” Ningning hesitated, her fingers toying with the hem of her sweater. “Do you ever wonder about us?”

Giselle blinked. “Us?”

“Yeah. Like…” Ningning trailed off, her gaze dropping to the comforter. “What we are. If we’re just friends or… more than that.”

The question hung in the air, heavy and unfamiliar. Giselle froze, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest.

“I—” She started, then stopped, unsure of how to respond.

“It’s stupid, isn’t it?” Ningning said quickly, letting out a nervous laugh. “Forget I said anything.”

“No, it’s not stupid,” Giselle said, her voice firmer than she intended. She set her laptop aside and climbed onto the bed, sitting beside Ningning. “Why would you think that?”

Ningning shrugged, still avoiding Giselle’s gaze. “I don’t know. I guess I just… I feel like we’re closer than friends, you know? But I don’t know if it’s just me overthinking things or…”

She trailed off again, her voice growing quieter with each word.

Giselle stared at her, trying to process what she was hearing. Ningning’s words replayed in her mind—closer than friends. Had she ever thought about it like that?

“You’re not overthinking,” Giselle said finally, her voice soft. “I mean… I’ve never really thought about it before, but…” She paused, unsure of how to continue.

Ningning looked up at her, her eyes wide and vulnerable. “But what?”

“But maybe you’re right,” Giselle admitted. “Maybe we are more than that.”

The air between them felt charged, like the world had shifted and they were standing on the edge of something new. Ningning’s lips parted slightly, as if she wanted to say something, but no words came.

Instead, she just stared at Giselle, and for the first time, Giselle noticed how close they were. She could see the faint flush on Ningning’s cheeks, the way her eyes sparkled in the dim light. Her heart raced, and she wondered if Ningning could hear it.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have,” Ningning said softly.

“You won’t,” Giselle said without hesitation.

“How do you know?”

“Because it’s us,” Giselle said simply. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”

The next few days passed in a blur of uncertainty. Nothing had changed between them, not really—but at the same time, everything felt different. Giselle found herself noticing things she hadn’t before: the way Ningning’s smile made her chest feel lighter, the way her laughter lingered in the air, the way her presence seemed to fill every empty space.

It was both exhilarating and terrifying.

One evening, as they sat in the living room watching a movie, Giselle couldn’t take it anymore. Ningning was curled up beside her, their shoulders pressed together. She was laughing at something on the screen, completely unaware of the storm raging in Giselle’s mind.

“I think I feel the same way,” Giselle blurted out.

Ningning froze, her laughter cutting off abruptly. “What?”

“About us,” Giselle said, her voice trembling. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I think you’re right. It’s not just friendship—not for me, anyway.”

Ningning turned to look at her, her eyes wide and searching. “You mean that?”

“Yeah,” Giselle said, her voice barely above a whisper.

For a moment, Ningning just stared at her. Then, slowly, a smile spread across her face.

“Me too,” she said softly.

Giselle let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Really?”

Ningning nodded. “I was so scared to say anything, but… yeah. I’ve felt this way for a while.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their confessions settling between them. Then, tentatively, Ningning reached for Giselle’s hand, her fingers brushing against hers. Giselle’s breath hitched, but she didn’t pull away.

Instead, she laced their fingers together, her heart pounding in her chest.

“So,” Ningning said, her voice light and teasing, “does this mean we’re, like, dating now?”

Giselle laughed, the sound breaking the tension. “I guess it does.”

“Good,” Ningning said, her smile widening. “Because I’ve been wanting to do this for a while.”

Before Giselle could ask what she meant, Ningning leaned in, closing the distance between them. Their lips met in a soft, tentative kiss that sent sparks coursing through Giselle’s body.

It was gentle at first, but as they pulled closer, it deepened, filled with all the unspoken feelings they’d kept hidden for so long. When they finally pulled away, both were breathless, their foreheads resting against each other.

Giselle couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could Ningning.

“I guess this means you’re stuck with me now,” Ningning said playfully.

“Good,” Giselle said, her voice soft. “Because there’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with.”

And in that moment, it felt like everything had fallen into place.

[theghostavocadoe]

if the gut torture gets you from the spoiled milk then dont worry about this, BUT. cloud and tifa having had nightmares and unable to sleep so theyre quietly in their living room talking softly, and some or all of the remnants hear and are curious. but the more people talking honestly help cloud and tifa. it feels like a home.

HI SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I KINDA GOT CARRIED AWAY LMAO

this one's a big boy so prepare thyself

Nightmares.

Most people grow out of their nightmares as they get older. Things like quicksand, clowns, demons, and wolves are childish fears that materialize in their dreams at a young age. But after experiencing the world and discovering that credit card debt is much scarier than a clown, the nightmares tend to fade away.

Not for people like Cloud.

Not for him, who’s nights are regularly plagued by flashing, bending, morphing images of fire and destruction, of cold ruthlessness and manipulation, and Aerith’s lifeless body in his arms. Waking up at an ungodly hour drenched in a cold sweat while his heart pounded in his chest was not an uncommon occurrence for him.

He should be used to them by now. But a part of him thinks he never will.

On this chilly spring morning, he had a particularly harrowing nightmare, and decided right then and there upon waking up that trying to go back to sleep would be fruitless. He turned his head to look at the clock on his desk.

2am. Not the worst time to be awake, but that meant he would definitely be crashing on the couch for a mid-afternoon nap later.

He groggily rolled out of bed and stumbled around the darkness of his room, slipping on a random sweater he had thrown over a chair the night before. The mismatch of clothes and his unruly hair probably looked horrendous, but he didn’t care. It wasn’t like anybody was going to see him. Or, that’s what he assumed.

When he gently pushed the door open slowly enough to avoid any creaks, he peered down the stairs to find the lights were still on. Or maybe someone turned them on? Cloud was too tired to think of the possibilities. Whatever it was, he went to investigate.

As he walked down the stairs rubbing his eyes, he ran through his options. It couldn’t be the Remnants; they could see in the dark, so lights weren’t needed. Marlene and Denzel could’ve snuck down for a midnight snack. Or maybe Tifa just forgot to turn the lights off before she went to bed.

Or maybe she collapsed on the spot and is lying there, suffering, while you slept obliviously, a voice in his head that sounded a little too much like Sephiroth goaded. He immediately shoved the thought away, refusing to think about it.

Though, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t quicken his pace a little bit to deny the suspicion.

When he rounded the corner into the living room, he found Tifa. But luckily, unlike his intrusive thoughts envisioned, she was alive and well, sitting on the couch with a blanket pulled above her knees.

“Cloud?” She asked, looking over at him.

“Tifa?” He responded in kind.

“What are you doing up?” They both asked in exact unison.

There was a beat of silence before Cloud decided to go first. “Just… Couldn’t sleep.”

Tifa, as always, saw right through him like a window. “Nightmare?”

A sigh. There was no point in trying to hide it. He mentally prepared himself for the excessive amount of babying that he was about to receive. “...Yeah.”

Tifa looked down instead. “Me too.”

Cloud blinked. He was fully expecting a long inspiring speech about how Cloud’s past doesn’t define him, or to be swaddled up in blankets and given a drink to ease his mind, or even just a dismissive statement to just go back to bed and sleep it off. But no. Just a simple “Me too.”

After a solid fifteen seconds of standing there like a bum, Cloud moved to sit on the couch with Tifa. “That bad, huh?”

Tifa nodded. “...I would talk about it, but I don’t want to make the mood worse than it actually is.”

Cloud pulled his knees up and leaned sideways into the couch. “Hey, you’re the one always telling me to open up.”

Tifa met his eyes. “...Yeah, you’re right.”

“I might not be good with advice, but I’m really good at sitting here and listening.” Cloud allowed himself a tiny chuckle. Tifa smiled. That was good.

“It was one of those nightmares where everything just fades together,” Tifa began. “First it was my father. On that day. You know the one. Then I looked up and saw Sephiroth right in front of me. And then suddenly he was away from me, controlling you instead. And I just felt so… Weak. Like I had no way of fighting back. And then, we were in the Forgotten City, and…”

Cloud didn’t need to hear the end of that sentence to understand what Tifa meant. He nodded.

“The same for me,” Cloud sighed. “Everything happened all so fast that it just kinda blended together. Sometimes I have trouble remembering when and where Sephiroth decided to ruin my life, because all I can remember is me, him, and how horrible it was.”

“I can imagine that it’s worse for you, since—”

Tifa cut herself off as her attention was suddenly grabbed by something behind Cloud. She squinted in confusion as she stared into the corner of the room. Cloud twisted his head to look at what she saw, and found only a dark corner of the room; nothing out of the ordinary. He then heard Tifa sigh behind him.

“You can come out, Kadaj.”

Suddenly, the shadows in the corner moved. A black, misty figure stepped out of the inky darkness before solidifying into Kadaj’s shape. He kept his head tilted down, hiding all of his face save his right eye behind his long silver bangs.

“When did you get there?” Cloud asked. He tried not to sound upset, because he wasn’t, but he came off a bit more accusatory than he would’ve liked.

“...Five minutes ago,” Kadaj answered truthfully. “Your talking woke me up.”

Tifa frowned. “Are we really that loud?”

Kadaj shook his head. “We just have sensitive hearing.”

“Are the kids awake, too?” Cloud asked.

Kadaj tilted his head and looked to the side. Cloud knew that gesture meant he was focusing on reading the minds of the others in the house. He tried to veer his thoughts away from Sephiroth, but of course, trying not to think about Sephiroth meant repeating Don’t think about Sephiroth over and over in his head, which defeated the whole purpose. He just hoped Kadaj wasn’t listening too closely.

“No,” Kadaj answered. “Just me and the twins.”

“The twins?” Tifa asked, leading both her and Cloud to look around.

Two more figures suddenly appeared. Yazoo stepped out from around the corner, and Loz’s head popped up from behind the bar.

“Sorry,” Loz sniffed as he stepped around the bar and approached the small gathering. His eyes looked wet with tears.

“We didn’t mean to spy on you,” Yazoo explained, undoing the braid that kept his hair from getting tangled overnight. “We just got worried.”

Tifa smiled at the three of them, tugging the blanket over herself a little more. “We’re okay. Just dealing with some nightmares, no biggie.”

“Nightmares?” Loz asked with a tilt of his head that Yazoo mimicked.

“Bad dreams,” Kadaj explained. “The ones that make you wake up feeling all scared or sad.”

“Oh.”

Yazoo silently slipped past the group and into the kitchen. Cloud kept note of it but didn’t question it further.

“We have bad dreams too, sometimes,” Loz confessed.

“About what?” Cloud asked. He silently hoped that they weren’t about him.

Kadaj shrugged. “That’s the weird part. We don’t know.”

That brought up concern for Cloud. He caught Tifa furrowing her brow in the corner of his vision as well. “Explain.”

Yazoo chimed in from the kitchen, “You just opened a can of worms~”

Well, that certainly wasn’t foreboding. Kadaj glared in Yazoo’s general direction before sitting down on the floor and crossing his legs. Loz shuffled over to sit on the ground as well, but leaned his back against the front of the couch where Tifa sat.

“Our dreams are always really weird,” Loz started.

Tifa nodded. “Well, they’re always a bit weird. They’re just jumbled up movies made of your memories that tend to make no sense.”

“That’s the thing,” Kadaj responded. “They aren’t memories. Or not ours, at least.”

Cloud frowned. Not their memories? What on Gaia could they mean by that? He looked closely at Kadaj, watching the other brush his bangs aside only for them to fall back into the exact same spot they were before.

“Our dreams are always about people we’ve never met, places we’ve never been to, and experiences we’ve never had. Yazoo thinks they’re glimpses of Sephiroth’s memories, and I’m thinking that he’s right.”

It… Made some sense. The remnants were remnants, after all. Pieces of Sephiroth’s will personified. Having dreams about Sephiroth’s past didn’t seem too absurd given their circumstances.

The smell of chocolate drifted in from the kitchen. Loz brightened up a little bit.

“What do you see in your dreams? Be specific,” Cloud asked. He didn’t know too much about Sephiroth’s history – not the more personal stuff, that is – but something might catch his attention, so it was worth a shot.

Kadaj’s brow furrowed as he thought. “Mostly Mother. But she looks different in every dream. Sometimes she’s the Mother I know– Pale skin, red eyes, silver hair like mine. But sometimes she looks like a woman with brown hair in a white coat.”

Something about that was nagging the back of Cloud’s mind, but he couldn’t recall any faces or names.

“I see her in my dreams too, sometimes,” Yazoo chimed in, walking back into the room. He carried a serving tray from the bar with five different mugs on top, setting it on the coffee table in the center of the living room. The gathering of people immediately reached for their respective mugs.

Yazoo continued after taking a sip of hot chocolate from his own mug. “But I see others in white coats as well. Along with a lot of empty rooms filled with nothing but medical equipment and metal beds.”

Shinra’s Labs, no doubt. Hojo came to mind; Sephiroth’s (supposed) father. Cloud shuddered a bit at the repressed memories of the five years he spent in Nibelheim’s own labs, being poked and prodded at by the slimy, greasy man that called himself a scientist.

He thought he was doing fine until Kadaj spoke, “Sometimes I dream about a burning village.”

Cloud gripped his mug tightly, trying to keep his hands from shaking and dropping it. He tried to not let the impending panic attack show on his face as he focused intently on the mug instead.

That was evidently a bad idea, because once the hot steam hit his face, he was back in Nibelheim, crawling on the ground, smoke choking him and burning his lungs, the silver gleam of a blade getting closer and closer and–

Tifa’s hand on his shoulder shook him out of his stupor. He blinked and let out a gasp as he struggled to catch his breath. Yazoo swooped in and took the mug from Cloud’s hands, setting it on the table for now. Loz shuffled closer to Cloud’s side of the couch, as if to protect him, and Kadaj was suddenly on his feet again, face contorted in worry.

“Breathe,” Tifa instructed. Cloud nodded and forced himself to take deep breaths.

“I’m sorry,” Kadaj apologized, voice meek as if expecting punishment.

“It’s okay. Just… Reminded me of something. That’s all. I’ll be fine,” Cloud reassured, y’know, like a liar. “Keep going.”

Given Tifa’s facial expression, she saw right through him, again. She kept her hand on his shoulder, grounding him, reassuring him that he wasn’t alone. Yazoo had walked over to Kadaj to give a nudge; a signal to change the topic. They looked to Loz, the only one who hadn’t shared his dreams yet.

“I usually dream about other people. I remember I once had a dream about a guy in a red coat. I was angry at him for some reason. And in another one, there was a big guy, like me, but he had black hair and a beard. I was really sad about that one.” Loz’s voice wavered ever so slightly at the end of his statement.

Cloud reached down and ruffled Loz’s hair in response. As he did, he thought about the man Loz just described. The black hair reminded him of Zack, but Zack never had a beard. “Sad, you said?”

“Yeah,” Loz confirmed as he smoothed his hair back again. “Like, that same kind of sadness that I get when Yazoo or Kadaj leave for a long time.”

“So you missed him?” Yazoo asked. “Even though you don’t know him?”

“It’s weird, right? And that guy in red-- I was really annoyed at him. I really wanted to punch him in the face, but I couldn’t. I could only watch. Man, I hate those dreams… Sometimes I just don’t wanna sleep at all because of them.” Loz pouted before taking a sad sip of his hot chocolate.

“Me too. Nightmares suck,” Cloud agreed as he picked up his own mug again and took a sip.

“Well, I certainly feel a little less alone now after talking about them.” Tifa tipped her mug back as she took a drink. “This is really good, Yazoo.”

“Thank you.”

“You gonna tell us the secret on how you make it so well, Yaz?” Kadaj asked with a little smirk.

“Once everyone finishes their drink, maybe.”

Cloud couldn’t help but chuckle a bit as everyone immediately began chugging their drink, Tifa included. He didn’t feel like making his stomach upset tonight, so he just took another sip.

As they finished their drinks, everyone continued chatting about their dreams, pleasant or otherwise. The more the Remnants spoke of their dreams, the more Cloud started to understand why they acted the way they did. Reclusive and quiet Yazoo always dreamed of having his privacy ignored and invaded. Emotional and loving Loz dreamed of Sephiroth’s past friends and maybe even lovers. And the ever defensive Kadaj always dreamed of Sephiroth’s most cynical achievements.

Cloud wanted to give all of them a hug. He knew Loz would happily accept one, but Yazoo and Kadaj were unknown territory, so he didn’t bother. He let them talk amongst themselves, chatting about their dreams, occasionally piping up with a “me too!” when describing one of Sephiroth’s memories.

Sephiroth’s memories…

What Sephiroth said that day rang in Cloud’s head. I will never be a memory.

Well, it sure felt like he was just a memory now. Even the Remnants never referred to Sephiroth as a living person. He was gone. A memory.

Take that, you piece of shit.

Kadaj gave Cloud a sideways glance at that thought and snorted. He squinted back. Get out of my head, rascal.

The giggle that Kadaj let out as he turned away again was not promising.

By the time all of their mugs were completely empty, two hours had passed. The sky was beginning to lighten up through the window. Tifa decided to get up and take over cleaning all of the mugs, stating that sitting around for too long was making her antsy. Yazoo happily took the excuse to not do any work.

“I don’t think I’m getting any more sleep tonight,” Cloud sighed, accepting his fate.

The remnants all simultaneously nodded in agreement. Kadaj hopped up and stole Tifa’s spot on the couch, stretching out under all the blankets, smiling at his achievement. Tifa came back a few minutes later and sat directly on top of Kadaj’s legs, causing the young man to squawk indignantly and curl up into a little ball to avoid being squished.

“If you promise not to wake up Denzel and Marlene, then I don’t have a problem with you three staying up,” Tifa spoke to the Remnants. “But keep it low, okay?”

“Okay, mom!” Loz responded before zipping off in a blue blur.

Cloud watched Tifa blink in shock. Yazoo and Kadaj gave each other a knowing look before they both turned to Tifa.

“Thank you, mother.” Yazoo bowed his head before calmly walking off.

“See you in the morning, mother,” Kadaj grinned before dissolving into black mist and sliding off into the darkness.

Tifa blinked again. She looked at Cloud, and then pointed at where the Remnants were a moment ago. “Does this make me a mother?”

Cloud shrugged. “We’ll have to see if they start calling me dad.”

The idea of being a father was really weird to him. Some people (Cid) started jokingly calling him a dad after he took in Denzel, but he only thought of the younger kids as just that; younger kids he happened to take in. Not his children.

But the Remnants…

“I’m too tired to think about this,” Tifa groaned. Cloud agreed with that statement on a spiritual level.

Just as Cloud opened his mouth, Yazoo’s head peered out through the doorway again. “By the way, I use nutmeg and vanilla extract,” he stated with a wink before slipping off once again.

Tifa and Cloud looked between each other for a beat of silence before breaking down into chuckles.

The prospect of their nightmares didn’t even cross their minds for the rest of the night, forgotten and replaced by the warmth of their family.

[aristia-pjoheadcanons]

How do you think Percy and Jason would be with a gf who has really small boobs and also doesn’t like bjs?

Idk I get insecure

PERCY AND JASON X READER SMALL BOOBS + DISLIKES BJS

pairings: jason grace x percy jackson x female!reader

warnings: nsfw

Percy and Jason are the types of guys that doesnt really notice the physical much when they have a gf.

e.x. Percy and Rachel/Calypso. He loves both because of how natural they were. They didnt try hard to impress, unlike Venus/Aphrodite. Its the fact that you just blend into your own skin and take the spotlight that is given to you - without demanding any attention in an annoying way.

Jason would like you, being you. He doesnt like people that try to act like someone theyre not, because he has done that his whole entire life and it can get shitty.

So being upfront about your dislikes and likes is a huge plus.

We see in HOO that both guys are a bit dense to romantic things at times, unless you vocally tell them. So, if the reader expressed dislike if they hug her too close (because then they might feel her chest being small), they are quick to notice and take it seriously.

But just because Jason and Percy are dense, its because theyre busy with quests and other demigod matters. But they are known to read situations well. Percy has shows great observation skills and understand people without them bringing things up. Jason has learned how to read people from a young age - its how he survived.

Because of this, they would notice immedietly. Jason would give you a knowing look in the corner of his eye. Percy would blink at you and understand but wouldnt bring it up if you dont approach him first.

Blowjobs, sex, making-out - they can leave things like that out of the relationship completely. They dont mind at all. They are well mature and smart enough to understand that, "hey, not everybody like this!". They would never force you to do anything.

Lupa and Sally taught gave them different teachings. Lupa only taught Jason how to analyze, he needed to learn everything else. Sally might not have time to actually sit and talk about romantic and sexual affairs, but Percy has been the type of character to show fool-proof understanding even with the awkward education he got.

Most likely, they would never ever even imply they want a blow jobs ever. They wouldnt even put you near their genitals, it fear it might trigger you.

Percy and Jason realizes this, and share that they dont like licking peoples genitals either, and that its just a preference.

Maybe they would even ask, most likely initiated by Jason/but could go either way, if you like having your chest touched. This might sound weird, but some people dont like it if someone if close to their chest, and might protect it especially if theyre insecure - so they might ask what the optimal distance is. And if they should be careful about hugs.

[drowningindango]

you might have made a post about it before but im dumb and dont know how to look ykyk- UHH- do you have any madaobi fic recs? your honor i looooove themm

especially darkfic, anything focusing on madaras manipulation and psychological torture of obito or just the more messed up side of it. i love when theyre complicated and messy and madara is madara and obito has that little cute bit of stockholm syndrome that makes his adult self so adorable

Well, anon, I can definitely try :) and, no, I haven't made a rec post before as far as I remember

I know you said darkfic, but since you didn’t specify whether you’re comfortable with nsfw (sex) or triggering topics, I’ll add some warnings for the individual fics anyway. 🤔 (Please also check the tags of the fic before reading)

I’m also tailoring this list to your interests mostly.

(So if anyone else wants to ask for madaobi recs that go into a different direction, like wholesome fluff, horror, any other genre, hit me up xD my personal taste goes more into the direction of them being like yin and yang, push and pull, give and take, where the power dynamic can be flipped in the blink of an eye)

oh, uh, and if you click on the fic titles it'll link you directly to the fic

Rec list:

Between Black (narzissus)

Nsfw, sexual content, canon compliant. Can definitely recommend this one for you. :)

find your way by moonlight (blackkat)

A fic that really got a nicely written messed up dynamic between them. Multiple warnings here: Obligatory nsfw and dub con/non con warning. madaobi is not the main ship of the fic and is not the endgame!!! And as far as I remember, it gets cut off very early in the story. The reason I still recommend the story is because it got exactly that complicated stockholm syndrome and manipulation going on that you want, and the story dives right into that with the first chapter. (And it’s deliciously good). …I admit that I’ve literally only read the madaobi parts xD

Sealed off (Glove)

A short fic by my good friend Glove (who has written a lot of madaobi fics and I can warmly rec them all, but I picked a few that fit your taste specifically). 💕 Sfw, gore. Features the seal on Obito's heart.

Eye to eye (Glove)

No sexual content, but non con intimacy. Very manipulative. Another short fic.

Promise of spring (Glove)

Warning: mentions of mpreg and forced pregnancy. No sexual content. Definitely contains psychological torture for Obito xD

Longing (Nalyra)

This one has other ships besides MadaObi (mind the tags), if you dislike that, skip this one. but 👀 it sure got aaaaall the manipulation, messy relationships etc. aspects for madaobi. And it does it well. Warnings: nsfw. It's smut. Lots of it. xD

Your Warmth Burns Me (DualDreamer)

Idk, I'll be so bold to throw in my own fic here, even though I don't know if it falls even remotely under your parameters. It's definitely not a darkfic. But it's dealing with complicated feelings Obito has and it's veeeeery short. Sfw.

Enquiring_angel

This is my secret tip where I don't give a hoot about the parameters. xD Read any fic that's by enquiring_angel!!!!!!!! Just scroll through the madaobi tag on ao3 and if you see that name, click on it. She has such an amazing grip on the characters, I love her writing so much.

Secret tip: use online translator to read fic

Madaobi has a lot fans in the Chinese community on ao3. Can’t read Mandarin? Use a translator! Often the result will be a bit clunky but I found that once you get used to it, your brain can bridge the gap (like names that get messed up by the translator, or any grammar/sentence structure issues). There are some real gems out there. <3

Finally:

Otherwise, I can only recommend looking on ao3 by yourself. If you filter out any languages you can’t read (and maybe add some tags you prefer), the number of madaobi fics is small enough and not too overwhelming to navigate. (There are probably some fics I missed because I didn’t read them/they’re not up my alley, but might be to your liking?)

I hope this list helps out for a start. ^^

[reco-obsessed]

HII HELLO its me again hc anon and i wan to know.....do u have any specific hcs for samurai yaiba era reko? :3 i love to hear your hcs a ton <3

hello hc anon, its nice to see you again, i thought i scared you off. im sure i do if i take a second to scrummage around. i have a pretty speculative view of samurai yaiba in general, so i think most of my thoughts on samurai yaiba era reko could be considered headcanons, but theyre a bit less fluffy than the last ones (most of the analysis-type ones are under the cut).

i think her eyeliner probably varied a lot just depending on how much of her eyebags she was trying to cover up or how much she messed up the other eye. i dont think she was going for a specific look as much and just kinda went with it.

i wonder a lot if her hair was dyed different back then. we can see with her wig she obviously has always had that weird part in her bangs as kind of her signature, but her character sheet notes how her teardrop eyeliner is a style shes favored 'recently', which makes me wonder what other aspects of her style were different back then. and then of course that line obviously indicates her eyeliner style was different as well, not just on stage but in general. i could see her with blond tips, or thin streaks similar to the spots of pink in her blue wig. maybe shed dye the underside of her hair? i should draw these at some point

Reko’s eye contact is very all or nothing. Either she’s staring you down, hasn’t blinked in five minutes with no signs needing to, or she turns her head completely away and closes her eyes like she’s got her social security number written on her eyelids and is trying to hide it. This is something i headcanon for reko when we see her in game as well but imagine how much worse it is when she’s got those electric blue contacts in and that annoyed look on her face.

while i doubt its the case, i think theres an argument you could make for SY reko still being closeted (this depends a lot on whether you also headcanon her as transfem. it doesnt make as much sense if shes closeted as a lesbian but out as a trans woman. then again, that would be extremely funny, and thats usually enough reason for me). shes been very rebellious before this and had her noted delinquent era, but seems to have been isolated and focused on music for pretty much her entire life. i see SY reko as someone who squandered most of her positive feelings about people away in general, let alone such intense ones like a crush. she definitely had some really obvious moments anyway, but she just... only focuses on music. she compresses what she feels into music instead. if she was, it would definitely be a situation where literally everyone besides her knows. i also like this interpretation because i think the idea that she kind of knows shes different from everyone else, doesnt get conventional norms about romance, and overall just suppressing such a huge part of herself probably contributed to her early rebellious phase and her short fuse. then again, you could easily argue her figuring out she was into women could have contributed to her rebellion in the first place.

i think she wore lipstick more often back then. not all the time, but on occasion. this ones just a hunch.

i like to imagine part of the way the stage outfit we see her in is designed is intended to prevent her from overheating (shorts, mesh paneling). its probably mostly a stylistic choice, especially since that doesnt seem to be a concern for the other members, but also consider shes singing, playing guitar, and probably even dancing as well, and shes already got enough reasons why she could fall over- she doesnt need her outfit to contribute (even though she ends up wearing heels anyway).

I see SY Reko as probably being someone who was in a bad place mentally thorough out the bands run. shes kind of in this in between spot, where shes made this big statement of having rebelled from her father and the industry she was forced into, but she hasnt completely shorn off every harmful thing she was taught from those years in actuality. shes 'free', and she thinks shes 'free', but in reality she keeps falling into habits and patterns of thought set up from earlier in her life and she doesnt even realize it and wont for a while, as she isnt in a place where shes self aware until later on. shes destructive- mostly to herself, but it doesnt look like that from the outside because theres so much collateral. this concept is kind of the foundation for a lot of my interpretation of Samurai yaiba era reko. the symptoms include:

I doubt SY reko took as good care of herself as she shouldve back then. maybe not skipping showers or not brushing her teeth type of not taking care of herself, but probably had a poor diet, a shitty sleep schedule, was overworking herself.

I can see SY reko being the type to exercise a lot. i imagine she had a thing about making sure she was always in peak performance. another part of how she disregarded herself in order to keep up to her own impossible standards. (theres also the fact her stage outfit shows off her midriff and legs, so its not impossible she felt the need to keep herself in check in that sense).

i imagine she hid not only her feelings about alice from him, but just her feelings on their band and stuff in general. her feelings about alice have always been complicated, and between desperately trying to not feel any love for him and failing at it, and her trying to put her all in samurai yaiba and making it the perfect successful band she thinks he wants, its easier for her to just try to interact with him any more than she has to.

similarly, i see SY era reko as being someone who was very lonely, but didnt process it enough to realize that. she was isolated from her peers at an early age by been tokenized as a 'gifted kid' and then later on even more so as a source of profit, and she lost out on a lot of key developmental stages socially. she throws herself into her music completely instead of even trying with people because its all she even knows how to do. even if she did try, she has this complex about how everyone is out to get her. she doenst think anyone really wants to be around her, and she tries to match that energy with something along the lines of 'well screw all of you anyway'. in spite of all that, she still has that base need to be with others and connect to them- partially shown thrown her love of music, and its probably part of why its such a huge coping mechanism for her.

SY era reko has issues with vulnerability. obviously self-esteem contributes to this, but i think its also a big symptom of being exposed to the music industry as child. she got used for profit when she was just a kid by the people who were supposed to protect her, and no one stepped in until she refused to keep going along with it herself. its no wonder shes learned to see everyone as an enemy.

SY Reko probably had something similar to a paranoid streak. shes canonically described as someone who antagonized everyone by Alice, which means she was probably constantly in self-defense mode, hence her angry outbursts. she likely saw everyone as hating her and wanting her downfall or at least inevitably leading to it, and based off the notes of ehr being 'alone' and pushing everyone away, was likely very closed off and incapable of thinking of herself in a positive light or even as thinking of herself as lovable at all. i think its very likely that with how her father treated her, his love became more conditional- like a goalpost or reward for doing well enough, if he even kept showing affection at all. i think it probably really scarred how she saw love, especially at this point in her life, and you can see a lot of it in the way she interacts with alice.

even though reko rebelled from making the music she didnt want to, i think she was still left with a lot of self esteem issues from abandoning the thing that made her valuable and lovable to her family. yes, she was doing what she wanted, but she mustve been very aware of the backlash that would come from not only her parents but her previous fans because of the drastic change, leading her to feel as if she was universally hated.

SY reko's self deprecating tendencies were likely a lot more pronounced. reko already somewhat has this habit (she refers to herself as 'pathetic' in game for not taking better care of sara) but between her being much harsher in general its not a stretch that that probably applied to- in fact came from- her view of herself.

i think thats all the major ones that come to mind right now, though more may respawn because reko yabusame of all eras haunt me . thus concludes my essay . i hope you enjoyed reading

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

still thinking about yaz travelling with 10 so heres what i have so far:

she runs into him in london coming out of an interview for unit or smth, a couple of months after potd. for him it's in the gap between waters of mars and end of time. hes So Messed Up and yaz is like oh i know this. this is familiar. this might not be my doctor but,,,,this is my doctor

hes like oh what year is this? i was aiming for- and shes like dont ask me i keep getting it mixed up too. and hes like thats a bit of a strange thing to say, do we know each other? you seem familiar. shes like yes we've met

she surmises he doesnt have company bc hes all high on ginger and not trying to hide it. then shes like youre not flying like this, can i take you anywhere bc this is a fucking tardis and a fucking doctor available to her and how many more times is she gonna get this opportunity? never? once, and she has to wait for it 40 more years? no way is she just gonna walk past and go home. shes gonna do what shes always done and buy herself a little more time

she lets herself into the tardis, too sure of herself for him to really do anything abt it, as she asks "where did you say you were going?" he closes the doors "eternity"

"eternity?" she looks at him "is that a euphemism"

"it's a planet. in the larger magellanic cloud. thought maybe i should check up. sorry but who are you, exactly?"

shes like yes. um. yasmin khan. im a friend. as she stares at the tardis in wonder like the first time she walked in. and the tardis lights up bc she doesnt care about linear time and she loves yaz. so yaz starts putting in coordinates. she has to search for some of the controls bc the console is different but it's not too bad

"well thats great to hear, yasmin khan. can never have enough of those"

"larger magellanic cloud" she says looking at the navigation on one of the screens. "dyou ever think it's maybe a bit weird to name things in space after colonists?"

"well depends whos doing the naming. we dont call it that"

"no? what do timelords call it"

"and seeing as it were human colonists who settled there, maybe the name fits"

"there goes my faith in humanity" and she pulls the takeoff lever

the flight is bumpy as ever and when muscle memory fails her three times in a row shes like oh my god WHERE is your conceptual geometer and instead of pointing it out to her he just walks over and adjusts it and the way he does it is so familiar she has to blink hard a couple times

they might or might not end up on eternity but they certainly run promptly into trouble. yaz is a bit mysterious to him, a bit suspicious maybe because she wont answer any question directly but shes able to anticipate him so well that teamwork is pretty much seamless and theyre both running away from something so their motives line up and their need for something fun and exciting and distracting to happen too and also hes lonely and despite the way she basically hijacked his tardis he likes yaz bc of course he does

they match up timelines while hiding from guards, whispering about 1969 and weeping angels and "oh THATS why i dont remember, two doctors in the same place same time" and he figures out yaz travelled with future him

yaz drops a "she" and hes like "she??" and shes like oh shit should i not have said that and hes like no it's fine. and then hes like "does it suit me?" and she does Not manage to blink the tears away at that one

"is it something i said?" and then the guards spot them and hes like "RUN"

the ease with which he takes her hand as they run is lovely and horrible at the same time. she lets herself be dragged along while she thinks about the way 13 shook them off almost any time any of them touched her

a week & 8 planets in and shes been held by him more than shes been held by 13

they become buddies in like the way that you can sometimes become buddies with the younger sibling of your best friend or something. hes probably too heartbroken and messed up to develop a real crush but it's still yaz right? you know the way 10 kisses claras hand in the day of the doctor? that vibe. and yaz, with the benefit of.........foresight? hindforesight? picks up that vibe here that she couldnt with 13. bc 10 is young and a fountain of emotion compared to 13

my yaz is pretty firmly a lesbian so even if she was gonna get over the like very recent heartbreak and younger sibling vibes then still nothing was gonna happen here but theyre also both not in a place where they could cope with another heartbreak like that so like,,,,,,they both know, and they both know that they both know, but they dont need anything more so it just kinda makes them better buddies. sometimes youre a little bit in love with your friend in a way you dont want to act on. just another thing to bond over

and for yaz it's maybe a little bit healing to get 10s adoration like that

at some point the fact of meeting in the wrong order also comes up of course. yaz is like it's a little bit complicated, i dont know what i can say and 10 is like meh follow your instincts, youve got good ones i can tell. and if theres really something you shouldnt say i'll stop you

yaz is like does that happen a lot, as a time traveller i mean, meeting people in the wrong order? and 10 is like [THINKING ABOUT RIVER] "from time to time"

i just think theres a lot of potential for fun with the two of them. both of them running from the inevitable. not wanting to lose who they are, wanting more time as this version of themselves

yaz will learn so much about the doctor that retroactively contextualises a lot of 13, which i think could help in getting a little bit of closure. and theres so much river echoes sort of going in both ways. yaz flying the tardis with 10 because she learnt with 13, river later flying with 11

i also think seeing the way 10 is about his principles compared to how 13 was would be interesting. she would see a lot of the ways the doctor has grown up. yaz got to see so much of 12 in 13s trauma but she never got to see how 12 learnt and grew to become the 13 she loved. i think it would be special to see 10. see how they used to be. and also slap him on the fingers sometimes when he needs it

i dont know how to end it yet because that will just be more tragedy. 10 still ends up in end of time. yaz still ends up home. but maybe they can help each other a little bit in the time inbetween, even if the end theyre running from still comes to them both

[angel-eyes05]

bite the hand (chapter 8)

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

pairing: spider-woman!oc x miguel o’hara 

summary: lorena's whole world was taken away from her in the blink of an eye, after she accidentally broke a canon event. lucky for her though, she was able to find a portal watch in her dimension and used it to get out before she glitched out of existence. unfortunately though, running from dimension to dimension, she's been named as an anomaly by the spider society. now, she's constantly on the run from them, their leader in particular. when she eventually gets caught though, she's recruited onto a mission to catch another anomaly who might be from her past. to her dismay though, her partner on this mission is her very captor. will she be able to stop arguing with him for long enough to get the job done?

info: enemies to lovers, maybe a slow burn depending on chapter count, oc is 24 and miguel is 27, both oc and miguel are super sad lmao, they're also both super violent so, they also hate each other what a slay, in regards to my oc you can read her character sheet right here

warnings: there might be spoilers for atsv in this so watch the movie before reading this, i made up some weird rules for miguel's suit and idk if theyre entirely accurate to canon so just go with it, tension lol, cursing, drinking

word count: 3.4k

notes: i gotta start repeating the banners at the top cause i ran out LMAO. also, expect less frequent uploads cause 1) i kinda have low motivation rn and 2) im pretty busy rn (going out, vacations, and doing job applications). writing also gets a little draining for me after a while and i gotta put me first😔✊ ill keep uploading though dw i just gotta do it at my own speed to make sure i dont drop the series cause if i try to push stuff out too fast, im gonna end up dropping it so just bear with me lol. also i didn't proofread this before posting cause its 3:30 when im dropping this, and im so tired lmao

-----------------

It was the sun that slithered into the room through the cracks in the blinds that woke her up. Lorena preferred that to the normal wakeup call from a nightmare, or the sounds of honking cars next to her on the street. The way the bed had molded itself to her shape made it impossible for her to move. Almost like it was trapping her in its comfort. Even if the mattress was old, the fact that this had been her first time sleeping in an actual bed, and not a bench, sidewalk, or cot, in months was enough to provide her ease. 

She turned to face the other side of the bed, surprised when no one was in sight. Miguel was probably in the bathroom or something. She was more focused on a different fact: this had been the first sleep in weeks without a nightmare.

Huh. Weird.

She sat up in bed, noticing she was still in her robe from the bathroom. She rubbed the drowsiness off her face as the click of the door lock called her attention. Letting in a stream of early sunlight with him, Miguel walked through the door, pitch black sunglasses covering his eyes, a box in one hand, and a cup tray in the other. “Figured you’d be hungry when you woke up,” he said once he noticed she was awake. He softly kicked the door closed behind him, setting the tray on the desk near the door and the box on the bed. 

Pulled by curiosity, she moved her hands towards the box and opened it to see what was inside. Her mouth immediately started watering when she opened it to see assorted treats such as conchas, bigotes, and mantecadas. “I was in the mood,” Miguel said, pulling the drinks out of the tray. “I didn’t know how much cream or sugar you liked so I just got you black cause that's what I get,” he said, handing the hot cup of coffee to her. 

The smell of the pastries mixed with the coffee was enough to make her want to cry. It reminded of the smells of her aunt’s kitchen in the morning. The bitterness of the coffee stung at her throat, but it was overshadowed by the comfort it brought her. She picked up one of the bigotes, and had to hold back her tears of joy when she took a bite. “Gracias por todo,” she said, mouth full of food and covered in sugar. Miguel smiled at the sight of her. “De nada, cariño,” he said sweetly, taking one of the conchas for himself. 

As he walked away with his food, towards the bathroom, Lorena noticed something about him. “Where’d you get the clothes?” she asked, mouth still filled with food. He was now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt. “It’s part of my suit,” he responded, fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror. “¿Cómo?” He sighed. “Remember what I said about the whole nanotech thing last night?” “Yeah, what about it?” Suddenly, the shirt and sweatpants shifted into his blue and red suit just before her eyes. “Woah…” she exclaimed in awe. “I can change its appearance as long as the outfit is downloaded to my suit’s database.” “Oh,” Lorena expressed, even if she still didn’t fully understand what he was talking about. 

“Why’d you get to be born in the crazy, futuristic dimension with all the fancy tech,” she complained to herself, just loud enough for Miguel to hear. “Why, do you want one?” he asked, in between a small chuckle. “I mean it would be nice to wear something other than a tight spandex suit for once,” Lorena joked, getting an actual laugh out of Miguel for once. Lorena blushed and smiled at his reaction. “Well lucky for you, you’re gonna need one for tonight,” he responded. “What do you mean?” she asked, after taking a sip from her coffee. 

He tossed her a small, golden chain. “The outfit should form around that chain. I had Lyla upload different outfits for the day, since she probably knows better than I do. When you’re ready, put it on.” Lorena admired the golden material. She was lucky she wasn’t a silver jewelry girl. “So what’s on the to-do list for today,” she said, still looking at the chain. “Stay undercover for the majority of the day, then head over to the Moonlit River club at night. Lyla should have that outfit uploaded by now,” he responded, brushing his teeth with the provided amenities in the motel. 

“Why, are you finally deciding to take me out dancing to pay me for my troubles,” she joked, taking a sip of coffee after. Miguel spit out his toothpaste and sighed. “Brock meets up there on Thursday nights to trade weapons.”

Silence filled the space between them.

She knew this day had to come. She just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. 

“I see,” was all she could manage to say, before taking another sip of her coffee.

Miguel could feel the turmoil radiating off of her from the bathroom. He washed out his mouth, and splashed a bit of water on his face before walking over to her. He pushed the box of pastries to the side, and took a seat in front of her on the sheets.

“Mirarme,” he softly spoke, using his pointer finger to guide her eyes to his. She looked up at him, trying her best not to get lost in the crimson shade of his eyes. “I-” He cut himself off before he could continue. He melded her hand into his before speaking again. “I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. I want you to know that if this becomes too much for you…you can back out.” His inflection was weird. As if he didn’t want her to, but still wanted to keep her comfortable. A wrestling match between what he wanted and what was best for her. 

“And I’ve said it before too. I’m not running away from this,” Lorena said back, voice strong. “Ok. Just know if things get bad for you in there, I’ve got your back,” he said, concern in his voice. He had also found his eyes roaming her face, not realizing they had both subconsciously moved closer to each other. “And I’ve got yours too,” she said back. Once he had realized Lorena’s robe was loose enough to see inside to her chest, Miguel cleared his throat and got up from the bed quickly. 

“I’m gonna go into town, see if I can pick up any information on the street. You can do whatever you want until its time, but make sure to-” “Yeah, yeah, lay low. Relax big guy, I’ve got this,” she cut him off, reassuringly. He exited the room quickly, like he was in a rush to get away from her. He was gone for almost the rest of the day. 

-----------------

About 8pm that night. 

Miguel was outside in the main room of the motel while Lorena was getting herself ready in the bathroom. Miguel had gone out earlier and bought her some cheap makeup and perfume from a local drugstore, a sweet gesture. 

Once she finished with her makeup and straightening up her hair, she tapped on the middle part of her gold chain, causing a menu to pop up. She scrolled through the options until she came across the last one, labeled by Lyla as “night time😉”. She clicked on the option, as she watched in awe as her casual t-shirt and sweatpants shifted into her outfit for the night. A tight black dress, cut asymmetrically to show one of her thighs, and a turtle neck part detached from the rest of the dress, with glove-like sleeves. This feature allowed for the perfect peephole towards her chest. Lorena had a feeling Lyla would try to do some matchmaking with her outfit.

With a quick spritz of perfume, a double check of her face in the mirror, and quickly putting on a black headband for her hair, Lorena quickly exited the bathroom. Miguel was standing there, waiting by the door and checking his portal watch. He was sporting a black, silk, button up shirt, tucked into black dress pants. The fact that the shirt was way too tight for him was accentuated by his muscles sculpted by the fabric and the fact that the first two buttons were open. His eye was caught by Lorena when she stepped out of the bathroom, his mouth slightly agape in awe and his eyes almost stuck to her.

“It’s flashy, I know. But it’s better that I fit in,” she said, trying to divide the tension in the room as she walked closer to him. “I-...um,” he stammered. “At a loss for words for once O’Hara?” she teased. Noticing a stray hair on the top of his head, she reached up to him to push it back. “Quédate quieto,” she commanded softly, while she stuck the piece back into the gel, trying to ignore how he was admiring her. 

“There you go. Ahora te ves guapo,” she teased, patting his chest with her hand. Miguel still had that stupid smile on his face. “Y te ves hermosa,” he said softly, and with utter sincerity. 

She couldn’t tell if she was caught more off guard with his words of affirmation, or the fact that the blush quickly forming on her cheeks was confirming her secret love of it. 

Clearing her throat, she unlocked the door, opened it, and gestured her hand to outside. “Lead the way big guy.” He smirked at her as he walked outside. He even got the courage to offer her his hand. This confidence was quickly deflated when she smacked away his hand, giggling to herself as she took the lead down the stairs. 

The night life of the city was bustling on the streets. Couples together, arm in arm, surely walking to a fancy restaurant for a night out. Lines forming outside of nightclubs, patrons with an urgency to get in. Everyone walking down the street with their own story to tell, just like Lorena. 

After walking for a couple of miles, the bright, neon blue sign shone in front of the entrance. The door was a mahogany red, with three stairs leading down to the entrance. But opposite to Miguel’s eagerness to get inside by opening the door, Lorena slightly froze, eyes blank. 

This was it. It was going to happen. Whether she was ready or not.

“Hey.” Miguel’s calm voice pulled her back to reality. “Stay with me. Okay?” He held out his large hand for her. This time, she decided to take it. “And remember to try and fit in,” he added. Her smile quickly turned sour and annoyed.

The atmosphere was loud, a mixture of people talking and the bass of the music filling the room. The fact that the lights were out didn’t seem to matter much with the amount of strobe and neon lights flashing within the bar. Lorena noticed Miguel quickly putting on a pair of sunglasses hidden in his jacket pocket. “I thought you said we needed to fit in,” Lorena stated as the two walked towards a high top near the bar. “I did. And?” “You really think you’re blending in with a pair of sunglasses on indoors? At night? In a club?” Lorena joked. “The lights hurt my eyes,” Miguel said, puppy dog hurt. Lorena had to fight to contain the laughter rising in her chest.

Once they sat down, and the reality of events settled down on Lorena, she began to look around the club. People sprayed out on couches, drunkenly conversing or making out. People out on the dance floor. Men walking into booths in the back, shielded by curtains. Eddie was probably in one of those. “I’m heading to the bar. You want anything?” Miguel asked, snapping her out of her daze. “Uhhhh, just get me something strong,” she brushed off, still not entirely paying attention. He shrugged and walked off to the bar. 

Lorena continued to inspect the area, her thoughts bouncing all over the place. What did this Eddie look like? Did he have black hair instead? Was his voice higher? Her Eddie always had a particularly deep tone. Smooth like silk as well. She would spend days on end focusing on the way he would say a single sentence back when she was first crushing on him. Would he act like her Eddie? She realized quickly she probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to find out. She didn’t necessarily want to find out anyways.

…

Would she have to kill him again? Would Miguel make her?

The smack of the glass on the table brought her back to reality. “You weren’t really specific, so I just got you a negroni,” Miguel said, open bottle of beer in his hand. Without a second thought, Lorena downed half the glass just then, proven to be a mistake with how strong the drink actually was. Her mouth curled inwards as her eyes shut closed, letting out a few coughs quickly after. 

Miguel laughed slightly, and slammed his hand against her back to help her cough. “What the fuck was that?” “Hey, you told me to get you something strong!” Miguel defended. “I thought you were gonna get me a margarita or something,” Lorena said, rubbing her chest with her hand. “Haven’t had alcohol in more than a year and you hit me with that straight away,” she said to herself. Subconsciously, he handed her his bottle. “Take a sip of that then.” She smiled to herself as she put her lips to the bottle and took a good sip of the beer. “Better?” he asked, like she was a child. “Yes, thank you for your charity sir, you’re so kind,” she responded sarcastically. 

“Find anything interesting yet?” Miguel asked, taking back the bottle. Lorena’s eyes went back to the curtains. “Those booths back there look promising. Are we sure he’s here yet though?” Lorena asked. “I have a hunch.” Lorena looked up at Miguel, annoyance on her face. “We’re going…off of a hunch?” “Just trust me on this okay.” Lorena sighed and took another sip of her own drink, wincing again when she put it back down. 

Her eyes were drawn away from the drapes and over to the lit up dance floor. She had always been the first one to bring her friends to dance with her when she was younger. Seeing it again brought feelings flooding back to her heart. Spontaneously, she jumped up from her chair and held out her hand to Miguel. “...What are you doing?” he asked, incredibly confused. 

“You said we had to blend in, right? We’ll do that better if we’re out there dancing,” she said. “Oh, no way. I don’t dance, chiquita,” he said, almost embarrassed. “Oh come on, for someone with your build? You’ve definitely danced before. Don’t be a debby downer Miggy,” she encouraged, both of them caught slightly off guard by the nickname slip. He rolled his head back, wiped his hands over his face, and let out a deep, annoyed groan. Once he stood up though and took her hand, it was impossible for Lorena to lose the smile growing on her face. “You’re taking the lead though, Loré,” he said, having come up with a nickname for her as well. She hoped the sunglasses he had on would keep him from seeing the blush on her face.

…

They didn’t.

Hand in hand, Lorena led Miguel over to the brightly lit floor, music blasting in the speakers next to them. Miguel stook out like a sore thumb, his huge build making him extremely identifiable among the other strangers on the floor. Lorena fit right in though, immediately beginning to dance to the blasting music. Miguel tried his best to copy her moves, but ended up looking like a fool. “You were right, you really aren’t that good at this,” Lorena teased. “Ha ha, very funny,” Miguel said monotonically. As the music changed slowly to a slower pace, they noticed the people around them grouping to dance into a pairs. She looked up to Miguel. He raised his eyebrow at her, asking her without words. Her smile was confirmation, as they inched towards each other. 

Almost as if they were pre-programmed to do so, Lorena wrapped her arms around Miguel’s neck, and his wrapped around her hips. They swayed together slowly to the music, melting into each others touch. He rested his head on her shoulder, his hot breath leaving goosebumps on her skin.

“This isn’t my wheelhouse,” he quietly whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “Why, better when other music is playing?” she whispered back sarcastically. “Everyone here’s lucky they aren’t playing salsa right now, or I’d be stealing the show.” Lorena let out a laugh. “Is that so?” He nodded, a huge smirk on his face. “I’m more of mambo person myself,” she responded. He smiled at her remark. “You’ll have to teach me some day.”

She struggled to keep the smile on her face as those words entered her head. You’ll have to teach me some day. She hadn’t even begun to think about it. What she would do after this mission was over. The whole point of doing this was so she could be granted her freedom. She wanted it so badly a couple of days ago. But now. She hadn’t even thought of staying as a possibility. Because to her, it wasn’t. She couldn’t invade Miguel’s life like that. She wasn’t even 100% sure how she felt about him, much less on how he felt about her. Besides, no matter how much she just wanted to settle down with someone. To live an actual life. She didn’t deserve it. 

Pulling away from him was like separating herself from her source of life, but she did it anyways. “You okay?” Miguel asked concerned. “Yeah, I just gotta freshen up for a second,” she said, wiping her nose. She turned around quickly to get away. Too quickly though, bumping into someone’s back on her way to the bathroom. 

Knocked off her balance, and her headband knocked out of her hair, she fell to the floor on her ass. “Sorry about that,” she said, slightly dissociated, reaching out for her headband. The stranger also reached down to help with her headband. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it gorgeous.”

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

That voice.

“Don’t lose your heart.”

She desperately wanted to keep her eyes glued to the floor. She didn’t want to look at him. But she had to keep her cover up. So she did, as slowly as she could though. And it was the worst possibly outcome.

He looked just like him. Strawberry blonde hair. Deep blue eyes. Small scar just above right eyebrow. His bottom two teeth fighting for room on the bottom row of his mouth. There was only one difference though. One of her favorite parts about him. This Eddie was missing his freckles. His beautiful light brown freckles.

She gave the stranger with her dead boyfriend’s face a strained smile while she grabbed her headband and rushed behind to the door. Her own brain pounding in her head was too loud for her to hear Miguel as she nearly ran passed him. She slammed the door to the outside open as she took in the air like it was her first breath ever. Even if she was outside now, she kept running. She sprinted down the streets, not taking any of her surroundings into account. She saw him in everyone’s face. His ghost had always been haunting her, but she wasn’t ready for him to move from behind her back to in front of her face. She ran so far and so fast until her legs ached, and even after that. She didn’t even know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just needed to get away from him as quickly as possible. Even if that meant leaving Miguel behind too. 

Her sprint was interrupted when her foot was caught in a change in the elevation on the sidewalk. Her face slammed into the concrete sidewalk, scraping her cheek and her knees. She used the rest of her strength, all drained out from her bolting, to crawl into a nearby alley. She made her way to the back and slunk down into the corner, hoping to meld into the brick behind her. Especially if it meant she never had to see him again.

-----------------

a/n: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG OH MY GOD. sorry if i messed some stuff up with the drinks, i dont drink so i really have no idea (im just a stoner instead lmao). UGH BUT I THINK THIS WAS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER TO WRITE I LOVED IT AND I HOPE YOU GUYS DID TOO

taglist: @the-ikran-man @jenniferdixon05207 @yuuuumii @elwyn7 @waniesss @lust-for-pan @natthernandez @pix-stuff @ang3lf4c3 @artfulthoughtswp @notwildlyfamous

[trashbins-stuff]

the hollowheads rant again bc im crazyyy, chodarksec specifically

chosec is full of apologies

ive seen alot of ppl interpating sec looking up to cho as an older siblings and hoenstly..i agree! its lovely yes but also, to me, it is one sided and its coming from cho, like your successor turn out to be pwoerful enough to fight your best friend (and then kill her) AND he fight like four different people at once too!! how could he be any prouder. But he kind of dragged them into all of this, sec doesnt wanna fight, they think cho revived them and their friends and defeat the dark lord, all of that, while also dragging them head first into danger, getting them killed in the first place, kidnap them again, then they had to fight a bunch of strangers and then got kidnap AGAIN. But he saved them..they arent ALLOWED to hate him, they arent allowed to feel anything but appreciation and admiration and cho is just sorry. I guess this is how its geos when you meet your predessecor, i mean imagone if you were someone's return, yoire not even your own perspn youre whats supposed to come after them, youre what they imagined of them what they wanted from them, but second had a life outside of that, outside of being chosen's return, theyre also orange, who loves their friends, get angry over small things, someone who laughs, not a cold blooded killer. Chosen drags orange back to the life the role the purpose theyre trying to outgrow, chosen asks why cant you stop time chosen hold them close to his heart chosen reach for them, but theyre not there

darksec is full of what ifs

second think theyre better in another universe because maybe then they wouldn't have to be themselves, maybe theyre better for each other in another world, maybe theyre better for each other if...they arent each other. You ever get annoyed when the conflict can be solved outernally but not internally? Everything could have easily been better if they jsut do this, do that, but for that to happen, it wouldn't be them anymore, it require them to be someone else. Dark believe in mabe another life because he wasnt full of fear when sec and her interacts, had they not met during her rampage and get in the way of her destroying noogai's computer, maybe if they meet sooner, they could have hung out, or even know each others beyond powerd amd death. Dark killed second and second killed dark, theyll remember each other more then they miss eachother more then they know each other

Chodark is full of grief

Just like chosec's relationship, my interpretation goes a bit different from the fandom, lets say, dark grieves chosen more, or struggle at it more. Now thay DOES sound a bit weird isnt it>? Destroy the chosen one was his mission, thays like having someone's name carved into your soul, np matter what destroy means the line between love and hate blurs so much it might as well be the same thing, everytime they fight (its how they show love) for a moment cho could see it in darks eyes: an intent to kill, destroy, but she'll blink and it goes away, and dark is aware of his code acting up too but none of them talls about it, maybe npw that darks gone, he doesnt jave to put on with that anymlre. Chosen have thought about it, one day they will ends either by dark's hand or his (it was neither it was both), the thing with grief is that you dont OUTgrow it u outGROW it, grief doesnt leave you, you grow around it, you do mroe thing outside of that grief, i think the firsy few fights osnce their esxape from the computer chosen grieves, theyve grieves a thousand time, thats why its easier for them to grief than dark. Which is not to say he doesnt grief, cho sits on the hills where dark and him used to run around at, everything remind him of her, and now hes watching her die, maybe hes numb because he is "used to it" since he grieves so much, but also maybe he grieves so much he believes she'll come back in the back of his mind, belief so strong it stops him from actually grieving

[kichikichiko]

"Lonely"

Self indulgent post. Its kinda based off of how I grew up

Wanderer x fem!reader, comfort, fluff, can be read as platonic or romantic, not proofread

♡♡♡♡

"Lonely"

If you were to describe your life from the day you could walk and talk to now, the one word would be "lonely"

Dont get me wrong, you had friends growing up. Maybe a lot, maybe only a few, and even then, it still feels like you againts the world.

No matter who you hang out with, the connection between you and your friend was never strong.

You knew, but brushed it off. Because at least having someone to talk to about something, anything is better than being alone.

But you were still "lonely", no matter how many people you surround yourself with.

You get attached easily, to anyone no matter who.

Toxic, boring, stupid, it doesnt matter

As long as they give you just a bit of attention, you'll suddenly cling onto them like theyre youre everything.

And yet

You were still "lonely"

Its frustrating. Why does the world want you to be lonely? Why should you feel this way in the first place? What could you have possibly done to anger the gods? Or was this their way of entertainment?

You'd blame all the hurt you've been through to anyone who isnt you. Especially celestia itself. Because if you blamed it on yourself, the more you'd feel worse.

"Lonely" was once your enemy, your foe. But the more you grew older, the more you've become tired with trying to get rid of it whether it be through masking yourself with different made up personalities for every single person you talk to, trying to talk to different people to find the one who matchrs your energy, or blaming the gods of teyvat and all its mortals for making you feel the way you feel, the more you've surrendered and accepted the "lonely" into your life.

Youve given up.

Because what was the point of trying at this point?

You can no longer blame people for your misery and woes.

At the end of the day, you are the problem.

Detaching yourself from the world, half of your life became a blur. You didnt remember if you still took up on the act of imitating everyone elses personalites, or if you completely stopped talking to people in general.

You didnt remember,

But what you did remember was meeting him.

Buying fruits from the bustling stalls of Sumeru, you finally met him.

From the corner of your eye, you saw an interesting figure.

Turning your head to get a better look you studied thr man from afar.

He seemed to be from inazuma judging by his attire. His whole outfit was coloured blue and white, his huge hat sitting on his head in a way which made him look intimidating and mysterious rather than silly, his eyes uninterested and annoyed, as his chesr glowed because of his anemo vision.

You stared at him for a while longer before he dissappeared in a blink of an eye.

You didnt know what you felt. But it was something weird, in a good way of course.

"I wanna see him again" you mumbled.

Months have passed, and from time to time, the strange man from inazuma would pop into your head as you daydream in silence when you were goung out with your friends.

Sometimes you think youre creepy, stupid and yhat you were "doing it again". Mainly insinuating that you'd get attached to someone you barely know and make scenarios of you both being together as a coping mechanism.

One day your friend has decided to invite you to try a cooking class with her. You dont really get invited out that much, so you werent about to pass up on this opportunity.

Both you and your friend arrived and was lead to your perspective stations. The instructor wanted everyone to find someone random around the room to be partners, so everyone can get to know each other and make the place more lively.

Going out of your comfort zone was hard, but thinking youre being a nuisance was harder. So you sighed in defeat.

Everyone finally got a partner but you,

You were standing there awkwardly, getting ready to tell the instructor that you're perfectly fine with being alone. Youve been alone for half of your life, being alone as you were in cooking class with no different.

Before you got the chance to talk, someone barged through the door, making everyone shift their focus on the door.

Your eyes widen when you saw who it was. It was the mysterious Inazuma guy. You were shocked, stunned and frozen in place.

Never once believe that you'd see him again

"Ah youre just in time! This young lady here doesnt have a partner for todays class so you can go right ahead and stand next to her station"

The mysterious men scoffed and walk towards your station standing right beside you without a word.

You were starting to feel nervous as there was no conversation coming up between the both of you. You thought that maybe you were the only one overthinking this because anytime you glance at him he would look unbothered and uninterested just like he did when you first saw him in that market few months back

"You can stop looking at me miss" crossing his arms and looking at you with one eyebrow up.

God he was intimidating and handsome

No no. Just intimidating you correxted yourself

Flinching you quickly apologised and whipped your head back and looked down at the table.

Wanderer knew you saw him on that day in the market, he's very observant what can he say?

"Call me wanderer" he broke the silence, looking down at the ingredients on the table, not listening to the instructor

You looked at him again, blinking

You wanted to question why on earth his name is "wanderer" but got a hunch that he'll be offended and stop talking.

"Nice to meet you wanderer, Im (name)" you responded

"Well (name) let's show everyone here who's the boss at cooking" he smirked a bit, determined to win

You were stunned. This wasnt even a cooking competition you wanted to tell him, but that might ruin the fun

So you smiled a little and nodded. "Right on it!"

Days after days passed, and if youre lucky enough you'd see him on the bustling streets of Sumeru, if you both make eye contact, you'd smile and wave as he nodded then go about your day

Soon that change, from simple hand waves, to small talks, to full blow on conversations to hanging out outside of sumeru city.

His company was nice, it felt warm and comfortable. You didnt have to imitate his energy, and you never tried to. Something about copying his personality just to talk to him felt off.

As much as he didnt wanna admit it, he also felt comfortable with you, not 100% no but if he were to be able to choose to go on walks alone or be with you he wouldnt hesitate to pick one with you.

You finally felt comfortable in your own skin

And suddenly, you didnt feel so "lonely" anymore.

♡♡♡♡

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: nibbleinephym

our interviewee is @nibblelinephym (known in 2020/2021 as severely-nearsighted). here is a copy/pasted transcript of the questions and answers!

(if these posts are too long, please let me know, and i'll incorporate a cutoff in the future!)

Q: What do you remember most fondly about ‘Early MCYTblr’? (2020-2021)

A: i think im most fond of how tight-knit the community felt in the 'early days' honestly? dont get me wrong seeing it grow and new creators bring even more people in has been wonderful but theres just something about a smaller fandom that feels nice. we were never by any means a Small fandom but we're a Lot bigger now than we were just a few years ago!

Q: I understand that you were the face of Silverfish2020 (winner of the first MCYTblr elections). What was your experience in the elections themselves like?

A: first, clarifying; unfortunately silverfish2020 was Not the winner of the first election; that was quotes2020, represented by mcyt-quotes (who i believe has since changed urls? apologies but im not sure what their current one is or if theyre still active at all ^^;) by exactly four votes -- for me the elections were a lot of fun! when they were first starting up i wasn't sure if i wanted to join, since there were a Lot of people involved already and i hadn't really solidified myself as part of the community yet (i think i was still almost exclusively a musical blog back in the first days of it, not multifandom, which is so wild to think about tbh). im really glad i did though, i met some truly amazing people through the event that i still talk with to this day :] everything felt very fast paced at the time, especially since the discord was almost always going at blink-and-youll-miss-it speeds; you had to be Constantly in there if you wanted to participate in conversation. i remember whenever someone joined the server there would be a mob of people from different parties trying to convince them to side with theirs. surprisingly, that tactic worked pretty well for a lot of parties. i vividly remember that there was usually a pause of activity in the general server when results were being posted and a boom when they were all out. it was overall just a generally pretty positive environment from what i remember

Q: You were also a contestant in the MCYTblr ‘Friend or Host’ for Paint (adhddream). What do you remember of it?

A: friend or host was great! i wasnt in the competition long (iirc i was one of the first five out??? i dont actually remember how many contestants there were for the round but i know i was pretty early ^^;) but paint seemed really chill, it was just a nice little thing that we did for fun at love or hosts peak. i remember the discord stream of it didnt exactly go very well -- there was an issue with the visuals i think? so it might have been only audio. but im not entirely sure about that, it didnt really stick in my mind as well as other things from that era.

Q: What was the roleplay for Silverfish2020 like? 

A: the silverfish roleplay was very,, im not sure what the best word for it would be. chaotic maybe. there were a lot of things going on there just because there were a lot of things going on in the elections roleplay as a whole. we really leaned into the cult thing when the jokes started and it just kinda spiraled from there. in the beginning we toyed with the idea of a chestburster type thing living inside of the party members but it never really went anywhere despite how much we talked about it in our private discord,, instead we just focused on the party being a sort of hivemind. they lived in a stronghold under a dead forest and would try to get others to listen to 'the buzz' (like. insect buzzing. except if you listened to it long enough youd start hearing promises of a new family and respect and power and shit like that). one of our party members, shard (@shardofsun) was very thorough with all of her lore, going so far as to make detailed plans in a notebook of hers. the roleplay extended throughout the other elections as well (if you ignore the third and only through past lifetimes in the fourth) and is still partially going on now!

Q: You’ve been consistently keeping a list of all ‘kinnie’ (content creator imposter) blogs. Which ones stood out to you?

A: i think one of the imposter blogs that stood out most to me was definitely iamdreamwastaken (who eventually moved to tmblrdream) just because they were very interactive and took all the shit we sent them in stride. i also really liked the timedeo imposter despite never watching any of timedeos stuff. just thought they were cool. honourable shoutout to the eret and nihachu imposters too they rocked

Q: What are the biggest blogs you can remember? What was your impression of them?

A: the biggest blogs i can remember are probably gnfkitten [braveboyhalo] back when cat was the only one on the blog, adhddream, hearty-an0n(maybe not a Big one?? but very active and in a Lot of peoples inboxes from what i saw) and wooteena. there are definitely more urls i remember like georgeeehd (i think?) and wormweeb but i dont think i followed georgeeehd and i cant remember a whole lot of wormweebs stuff apart from the infertility post so i cant accurately answer for them ^^; wooteena was an acquaintance of mine; we didnt talk a whole lot but we were mutuals for a while. they were always pretty chill, despite the fact there were people out there shipping them with a friend of theirs?? ive always had huge respect for them just because they had the energy to deal with shit like that. i was friends with gnfkitten and hearty-an0n, at the very least in a 'wave at each other on the street' way, and i have really fond memories of the both of them :] hearty is still active, they post about sports these days from what i see on my dash, but im not sure if cat is despite gnfkitten being active as a group blog. adhddream always seemed really cool! my memory of their blog isnt super clear but i know i really liked seeing them on my dash back in the day. since this is tumblr i have no way of knowing if any of these people were actually Big Blogs but it definitely seemed like they were to me at the time haha

Q: What was the most insane piece of fandom drama you can remember from early MCYTblr? Did you participate?

A: i dont actually remember a whole lot of fandom drama from that time honestly. i tended to stay in my bubble of mutuals and other people i followed so it rarely ever crossed my dash. i was like ,, 15-16 at the time so fandom drama stressed me wayyyyy out, i tried my best to avoid it. the only stuff i can really remember at all was people fighting about whether or not it was okay to ship the characters from the dream smp and if shipping the characters was the same as shipping the players, but i never participated in any of the discourse from what i can recall

Q: Is there anything else you want to mention or that you want to be written down and remembered?

A: nope! though im happy to clarify on anything stated here if needed or answer any other questions that may arise :]

[oogalaboogalabich]

Just a concept i have in my head for my Dhampir run. This would be in the nights before confronting cazador. (Kind of spoilers? A little bit? Just bein safe)

----

Degon: "Be honest with me...how tempted are you to complete that ritual?"

Astarion: "I was fairly certain when we got here but...Now im not so sure."

Degon: "Good...its never wise to be certain of anything so important. It implies that one doesnt understand everything involved, because its always farr to complicated for black and white."

Astarion hesitates: "You would try to stop me."

Degon: "At any cost...it would be hard for me. but i cannot allow anyone to have this power. not even you."

Astarion: "I could leave you know..." he sounded frantic, but the threat was empty. They both knew that. A few weeks ago he may have... maybe. But a lot has changed.

Degon nods: "You could."

Astarion: "I mean it. I could...i could go somewhere so far you would never see me again."

Degon offers him a bittersweet smile: "I highly doubt that, but i would do my best to respect your decision." Degon looks thoughtful, but wholly unconvinced. "I would find a way to carry on, as i always do."

Astarion flinches: "That...i think that may have actually hurt."

Degon: " You know what I am. You know of that ...that Void, Astarion. Youve seen it in Ca-.... It is what we become when we turn, swallows who we were. I cannot offer what I dont have to give you." Hes trying to get his point across and the elf, damned fool, still plays the wounded wife. "What would you have me say astarion?"

Astarion scowls: "I dont know...that you would chase after me...that you would change your mind and help? Support me in this? Perhaps even...someday we could make seven new spawn so you could ...." he trails off when degons expression darkens. "Dont give me that look...i know."

Degon sighs: "...Its a wonderful fantasy astarion."

Astarion: "It is....isnt it? What would you do first?"

Degon: "I am unsure...my life up until now has always been under someone elses command....more or less."

Astarion blinks and then smirks, scoffing under his breath: "We really are quite alike arent we?"

Degon: "gay"

Astarion: *smacks the elf upside his head*

---

And then the fight happens and after theyre just like-

Cause honestly like...how do you even cope?

[beardisable]

been rewatching the teasers for new context

"learn the history. find kill the founder" we didnt really learn much history in generation 1. this is... a call to action for US, for the next parts. to keep watching and figure out the lore. so in the end we can know enough to kill the founder....? SURELY HAHA

(the inaguration has its separate post here)

i dont think Connecting... has much? Its the tape we see in the ending with the showfall chime in the video, now we have confirmation the person recording and showfall are working together(prob the same corp anyways)

now Connected... (copied text from a comment lmao)

"Look into infinity" "One of many" "One of millions" you are not the first or the last to be chosen, you will join a cast

"You are now worthy" you have been chosen to join :)

"One to another One to yours One to another" not really sure about these? maybe "from one to another role"? feel free to rb/reply with ideas

The posters! it seems like we DO have contact with someone from actually the outside? who does know whats going on and tries to warn us? or is it another ploy by showfall/the founder to entice us into the mystery...

we see a figure block the screen for a moment, i find the white square instead of ranboos black box square Very interesting. i dont think its the founder bc it feels way too obvious to give out this easily? but i do think the white box might mean like. this person has been completely brainwashed and under control...

and then the message is taped over by ranboos missing posters, which we know now were made BY showfall media. 2 posters are torn, to show WATCH from the below poster. as it is the only message they agree with. keep watching!

Announcement this is the same guy that flashed by in the previous video

"all around THIS world" is pretty suspicious as i saw someone point out... are there other worlds?

This seperate person(?) is trying to contact us during this

"where is this signal going?" hmm... perhaps the outsider isnt even completely sure what they are doing? just trying to do SOMETHING to stop this, to stop us from watching and enabling the continuing of this

"Found them!" is interesting... its not in red so ill assume its by showfall? maybe sneeg and charlie have tried to escape before, but gotten caught again?

"is this working? i dont have much time. i dont know whats happening." AH so yes they are trying to do Something but not really sure what/how

"i dont know what you are" INTERESTING. this makes me wonder still if the outsider actually is free of showfalls influence, can they even understand we are the audience, or is it about something else...

"it already found him" i wonder if... ok maybe nonsense theory but maybe this video and its interruptions were made after the first stream was done..? the red text outsider got some access as Hetch/H "messed" with the systems, but had to cut it short when they got ranboo after all in the end?

"it got everyone, everyone but me. i have to save them, i have to stop this" OR or... the outsider is another person who managed to escape the... "draft"

also the announcer guys head keeps swiveling and goes featureless in the end like haha nice generation loss the social experiments episode 3 ending reference

The Hero ok so the obvious being the censor bar.. it was the black box all along, he was always doomed like that... i do wonder though if the switch between the pixel and irl is meant to show like... the blinking between control and concious decisions and stuff that we see a lot of with the mask

i cant figure out anything that can be recontextualized in the 2 trailers rn. maybe puzzler saying "your final game begins now" since its the second episode but... also he dies in the end of ep 3 so it was his final run of the show? (but also i dont think theyre dead so lmao idk)

i do find the lack of trailer 3 very interesting too... lulling us into a false sense of security that this 3rd one isnt a show and is real?

ok im. brain empty. if yall have comments on this let em rip id love to talk about this(once my cells regenerate)

[valleynix]

Chapter 18 analysis LETS GOOOOO

I wanted to get this out sooner but I’ve been so busy lately 😭

Anyways congrats on 39k hits and 1100 kudos on ao3‼️‼️‼️

1:

THEY CARE‼️‼️ I now believe everything lunny says, since they never lied before. I trust in lunatic intuition

2:

Man.. I Wonder who do that 🤨🧐🧐🧐

Truly an unsolved mystery

3;

MY HEART

Daniela loves reader sm omg

And reader really is someone who grounds daniela, considering that she didn’t go feral when they were bleeding in front of her the second time and the fact she literally drank their blood

SHEE NEEDS THEMM

4:

You sure about that 🤨🤨

I’m assuming reader is gonna tell Bela the truth next (since telling Alcina is scary af) and I’m really excited for the scene to happen

5:

SHES IN LOVE OMGG THEYRE SO CUTE

This whole scene had me giggling and kicking my feet they're so cute together 😭

I also think Bela is going to be the next person to confess her feelings to reader, AND I CANT WAIT I LOVE BELA

6:

I love jealous reader LMAO

7:

I was worried for a second that lunatic still wanted to work for Miranda, but thankfully they were just faking it 😭 (correct me if I’m wrong) but I wonder, was Miranda watching them from nearby for them to fake it? Or was she doing some mind stuff?

8:

This part was when I kinda knew that it wasn’t lunatic causing any of the hallucinations. Cuz if I remember from part one, the hallucinations that lunatic shows were mostly of the dimitrescus being very.. uncomfortable? I guess? (I don’t really know how else to describe it) and maybe some other stuff about them crumbling/dying. But I never remembered lunatic showing them something about reader themselves (correct me if I’m wrong).

9:

NAH WHO TF R U

I NEVER MET YOU IN MY ENTIRE LIFE ☝️

Okay but this scene really got my brain GOING, the writing was great 😭

And the part with that other voice monster thing was very unsettling. My guess is that the young version thing and the monster thing are the same person, since reader said something about seeing something dark underneath their skin

And I’m glad reader wasn’t really tricked by the weird voices of anything, they know their beloveds would never

10:

THEYRE EVILLL

my guess is that watcher made a deal with Miranda to bring them back to their reality if they torment reader

And for this part I think the someone else is that weird monster voice thing. Maybe watcher was trying to distract reader until the monster attacked them and reader accidentally attacks the dimis? And then lunny snaps them back to reality?

11:

You don’t even try to fight her moving away from you, her brows furrowed as she glances between you and your copy. “You… We trusted you-“

OH MY HEART

This scene was so sad but I’m glad Bela was okay. One thing I really love is how you make the dimis put their family first over reader.

12:

In one last ditch effort to gain her attention away from everything else, you muster what’s left of your strength and energy to mutter out a rough, weak, “Mother.”

BROS MAKING MIRANDA RETHINK HER LIFE CHOICES RN

Her mother instincts kicked in

I do Wonder what’s going to happen now (if mother Miranda is still conflicted with this), like is Miranda going to try to be a ‘mother’ to reader now or?? I LOVE MIRANDA ANGST

13:

You blink once, twice. The third time, your eye does not reopen.

Let me just say- THIS WHOLE SCENE GOT ME GOING

LIKE DAMN READER REALLY ALMOST DIED

Like the other times it was just really bad injuries, but girl really stabbed straight through their neck💀 I am so excited for the next chapter with this reader angst

AND THE DIMIS?!?

omg I wished we were able to hear what they were saying cuz they just witnessed their love getting brutally stabbed 😭

14:

Some time during your spiral, you feel something settle beside you, some weight nudging against your back. When you peek your head out from beneath the blanket, you see that crow leaning into you, watching the door intently. Your copy says nothing to you, no smart comment or even a noise. They watch the door, never straying from their protective position beside you.

THEYRE LOOKING OUT FOR THEM‼️‼️ PROTECTIVE LUNNY THEY CAREEEE

I’m really excited for how their relationship will go, and so happy that lunatic is officially (I think) on reader's side. They’ll be able to talk to each other about everything that happened, cuz even if cass and Dani know they never really remembered anything. So they’ll be there for each other

THIS CHAPTER WAS AMAZING AS ALWAYS

I wanted to say more but I’ve been so busy and burnout lately 😭😭

Keep up the great work ❤️❤️

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST!!! you better be getting lots of rest and drinking plenty of water/eating plenty of food or ELSE >:(

but onto the analysis <33 i saw the notif pop up on my phone and couldn't stop grinning BAHA

Lunatic has canonically never lied!! maybe omitted some things or said things they truly believed at the time or what they were told, but they've never intentionally lied :3 always a treat to go back and read the things they've said while knowing that bit of information

you could never guess who did that :)

I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH- they literally need each other, both help the other stay grounded and in reality and they're just so sweet and caring and they love each other so much PLEASE MY HEART

i have plans >:3

i already have her confession scene planned out AND IT'S SO... BELA???? IM SO EXCITED TO WRITE IT AND SHARE IT AAAAAAA

jealous Reader my beloved <333

bro was just feeling edgy in the moment 😔 and it was a bit of both! she was definitely monitoring their progress mentally while keeping an eye on them after they took over, which is why she knew exactly where to find both of them. Lunatic, thankfully, also knew she was watching them so they could pretend to be on her side to keep both of them alive a little longer

you're right!! this entire scene was actually meant to be a clear show that Lunatic hadn't even done anything to them; whatever was happening in their head was from an outside party looking to clearly harm them or cause them distress. Lunatic strictly showed the Dimitrescus looking a little wrong or showed specific memories of the Dimis dying/crumbling/injured, but never anything like what they were shown here

i will give you a hint and say they're the same person; it's only a matter of who this person is and what they want with Reader :3 and they know their beloveds would never do such a thing!! they'd never guilt trip Reader for things out of their control

the way i giggled at this MWAHAHA but it's a really good guess!! i suppose we'll see soon enough if your theory is correct >:3

THE DIMIS WOULD PUT THEIR FAMILY OVER ANY READER/OC AND I STAND BY THAT. these mfs who have only had each other for years would NOT betray their own family for some little idiot they've known at MAX a few months. nuh uh. i don't believe it

EHEHEHE I HAVE HORRIBLE THINGS PLANNED >:3 i loved writing this part and having Miranda be utterly conflicted with what to do as she finally saw them after all this time and through all these many different experiments... my heart :(

GENUINELY A VERY SHOCKING MOMENT- like, how does one even recover from something like that?? trick question, but i can let you in on what the fruit flies were doing: Cassandra went straight for Miranda upon seeing Reader fall, which is who we saw as like a blur chasing after her. Bela was completely in shock and unable to hold Daniela any longer, who went to Reader's side and tried to get them to speak to her or do anything to show they were still alive and could see her. Cassandra was then either knocked down or killed (haven't decided which was worse), which caused Daniela to try going for Miranda to help her sister, and that caused Bela to finally snap into action to save her family. it... did not end well

I LOVE PROTECTIVE LUNATIC SO MUCH!!! my poor baby just wants to be loved and appreciated and they're finally realizing that Reader could be the one to give that to them. they're my favorite traumatized siblings and i love them so much <33

AAAA BUT THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS!!! i've been mentally exhausted lately so i understand being burnt out, and i want you to take care of yourself >:/ take breaks where it's needed and worry about yourself first!! or else!!!!

i appreciate you so much and it has been an honor to read your analyses and see the wonderful art you've created <333333

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.