#maybe they’re allergic to things

[i-have-no-braincells]

i feel like a lot of people don’t understand that there’s a time and place for your opinions. anyone can have opinions, it’s part of being human, but that doesn’t mean you get to voice those opinions whenever you want. one example i can think of is people publicly voicing their opinions about certain foods. sure you might think that overly sweet coffees are gross, or plain food isn’t good (etc etc), but there are people who like those things. just because you have an opinion about something, or a preference, does not give you the right to be an asshole and make people feel bad about their own opinions and preferences.

going out of your way to point out that you don’t like something to someone who does just reads as asshole behavior. and i’m talking about instances where someone will go above and beyond to make sure that you know that they absolutely dislike and hate the thing that you mentioned liking. even in situations where you don’t necessarily know if someone you’re speaking to is a fan of something or not, i really don’t see a reason to immediately start hating on something unless you’re close to a person and know what they like and dislike.

[karlkapri]

SidClaude

Makes sense. Compels me.

[shittycollagen]

people who do not have food allergies or intolerances are just out here having a whole different perspective on the restaurant industry huh

[hpmort]

There are more than two spiders in my room which I think is too many spiders? A room of mine’s size, yeah one spider is useful, and maybe 2 is good but I am concerned about population density

What do they know that i don’t

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

Overindulgent father Astarion who tells his children they’re allergic to any kind of jewellery that isn’t made of the highest grade Dwarven crafted gold. 

It’s not even because Astarion might have a certain aversion to silver, no, he just raises his children to have standards, thank you very much. 

And it doesn’t end with shiny things, oh no… 

The Ancunín brood is known to be dressed in perfectly woven cotton, silk and soft leather clothes, no matter the occasion.

They’re seen playing with expensive toys, reading artfully illustrated books that certainly belong behind thick glass, not in children’s sticky hands. 

There’s even talk that one of the children is not as naturally inclined to music as his parents claim him to be, surely his lyre must be enchanted—the instrument certainly looks extravagant enough! 

And then there’s always this air of effortless haughtiness surrounding the Ancunín children whenever their nannies and servants are parading them through town as if they were perfect little dolls; objects to show off the wealth their parents acquired in quite the mysterious ways. 

So, it’s no secret that Astarion and Tav are pampering their children—some might say they’re even spoiling them rotten. 

And maybe they are, especially Astarion.

But he doesn’t see why he should raise them any other way, nor does he want to.  

When it comes to his children, Astarion has his own standards, and as long as Tav agrees with him nothing really matters. 

Because, these people, they don’t know anything about the Ancuníns. 

They don’t know that it’s not unusual for Astarion to wash out dirt and mud and strawberry stains from comically small finery, leaving behind only the memories of a day spent playing in the garden, chasing after ducks, picking flowers, lazing in the sun…

That any holes and tears the children’s clothes might suffer are quickly mended, making them look as good as new in no time. 

Nor do they know that Astarion doesn’t mind fashioning a brand new dress to match that of a favourite doll, either. Or to embroider a pretty vest with the likeness of that stray cat the children seem to adore, although their father would rather they don’t touch the mangy animal. 

No, those people know nothing at all...

“Not tired!” Astarion’s youngest cries; the vehement denial of her father’s earlier accusation is cut short by a telltale yawn.

The room still smells of fragrant lavender oil and peaches even when the bath water has already grown tepid, just one or two degrees above what Astarion would consider too cold to be enjoyable. 

Amused, he raises an eyebrow at the protesting toddler before he lifts her out of the copper bathtub with little effort. 

By now, he knows every step of this game.

“Tut-tut, my dear child, what did mama and I say?” Astarion kneels, quickly wrapping a soft towel around the child to keep her warm. “We only tell lies outside of this house.”

Unfazed by her father’s gentle scolding, the girl crosses her arms that haven’t yet lost their puppy fat across her chest, reminding Astarion a little too much of a very displeased Tav. 

Suppressing a sigh, he leans back to consider the pouting child, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her this time—the list is growing longer by the day, after all. 

“What’s the matter, dear?” Astarion asks gently, hoping it’s something easily fixable as it’s growing rather late. 

“Want apple!”

Decades ago, Astarion might’ve rolled his eyes—he knows exactly which stupid apple the child wants, it’s been haunting him all day—but once he started to treat his children’s problems as if they were his own, his life has grown somewhat easier. 

“Why, let’s get an apple on our way to bed, then. Would that be alright, Your Highness?” 

The girl promptly nods her head, allowing Astarion to pat her hair dry before dressing her in a clean night dress. 

She rests her cheek against her father’s shoulder as he carries her first to the kitchen to grab a fragrant apple and a knife, then to her bedroom where they settle on the cosy window seat, just like they do every night.

Soft moonlight is pouring through the windows; the child giggles at the way the knife’s blade is catching the silver light as Astarion peels and cuts the apple into even pieces.

“Here you go,” he finally says, giving the slice of apple one last examining look before surrendering it to the impatient little hands reaching for it. “A sweet treat for my little sweet. Doesn’t it taste so much better when we don’t eat it off the floor, darling?” And when it’s not crawling with ants…

The appeased toddler nibbles at the juicy fruit as Astarion carefully combs through her still-damp curls. 

Her hair’s getting long, he notices, knowing that taking care of it will become more time-consuming each day. 

Once, Astarion would’ve thought this task tedious, brushing out hair that’s not his own, oiling and braiding it for no other reason than knowing his children enjoy him doing it. 

But that’s why he loves doing it in the first place, he supposes.

Astarion can tell by his toddler’s heartbeat that sleep is about to claim her. 

The half-eaten slice of apple is still clutched in her little fist as he cradles the child to his chest, slowly rising from the window seat to put her to bed. 

He’s just about to lay the child down that the fruit drops to the floor, his daughter’s tiny hand clutching at his shirt instead.

“Thank you, papa,” she mumbles, more asleep than awake.

Astarion pauses.

He breathes in the clean, yet unique scent of the little girl that is forever engraved in his brain, the same way he knows under which exact constellation she was born. When she took her first steps, what her first word was. Soon, he will have to memorise her favourite colour, and what she likes to eat when dirty apples won’t be that appealing anymore. 

By now, Astarion knows this game by heart, knows that with every year that passes, he has something new to learn about his children.

And sometimes he wonders what it’s like to grow up with clean bed sheets and full bellies. Sleep filled with naught but warmth and happy memories. Ever open doors and tears that are dried by tender kisses. Living in a house where mistakes and anger are welcomed, safe. 

He wonders what it’s like for his children to know that their father’s love comes without conditions. Not now and not ever. 

Sitting down on the bed, Astarion holds his youngest a little closer to his chest, unwilling to let go of her, yet. 

He’s often accused of spoiling his children when most people can only just grasp the very surface of his love for them, the bare minimum of what he feels for his one and only, precious family. 

These baseless accusations are as unimportant to Astarion as the people voicing them.

He’s raising his children to have standards, wants them to take their father’s love for granted, to accept nothing less but pure devotion.

It’s the only way Astarion knows how to love them, the only way that comes most naturally to him. 

Astarion looks down at his little girl, now fast asleep, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. 

After all these years—all these children—he’s still in awe watching them sleep in his arms as if no harm in the world could ever befall them.

And it won’t—not if Astarion can help it. 

“No, thank you, my heart,” he whispers, pressing a kiss against the crown of the toddler’s head. 

When it comes to his children, Astarion holds himself to the highest standard.

[phas3d]

Crushing on You || Slytherin Boys

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: draco malfoy, tom riddle, mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire

summary :: cute little loser things they do because they’re so down bad for you. inspired by the fucking masterpiece that is ONE DAY ONE NIGHTTTT AHHHHHH by bts ofc. some of these might be creepy but I think they’re cute

DRACO MALFOY

It’s always an enemies to lovers for him, he literally cannot get crushes on someone unless he hates their guts

Probably cause he got daddy issue but meh, we’re not solving that today

He HATED your guts, he has literally thought of getting a hit-man on you before

You’re his rival in every single aspect, even more than Harry is

Academics, you’re better

Athletics, you’re better

Clubs and community, you’re WAY better

He hates you and makes fun of you every single day and time he gets the chance

Even worse, Harry, Hermione, and Ron all come to defend you which makes him even more mad

But overtime, his aggressive staring and cursing under his breath turned into admiration

It all started when one day during Quidditch practice, some annoying 3rd year thought it would funny to mess with Draco’s broom

He ended up malfunctioning during practice, almost speeding into the walls of the school at astounding speeds

But luckily, you came just in time and yanked him off his broom, letting his broon get destroyed into the castle. But he was unharmed and was wrapped securely in your arms

From then on, he’s had a huge crush on you and all of his hatred turned into admiration

His aggressive stares were a bit softer and his insults had a hidden compliment in it

Everyone thinks that maybe he just feels bad and is finally regretting how rude he’s been to you, which is kinda true

He’s always watching over you, kinda like a stalker (because he is one)

He learns your daily routine, your favorite foods, clothing brands, makeup products, skincare routine, everything

Goes as far to hire and pay different students to watch after you if he’s busy

Somehow, you never notice and just think that people are nosy

He takes his research really far though, like straight up creepy

Draco gets his hands on all of your medical history, every single thing about you

He learns what your allergic too, what your rising sign is, how much you weigh at every check up

When he finds out that you’re anemic, he crushes up pills and sneakily adds it to your food to make sure you’re healthy

Does this with other things too, like Vitamin C, iron pills, etc etc etc

But in the end, it helps you a lot and makes you feel much better

And it makes him happy to know that you’re better because of him

One day, you get asked out by none other than Harry Potter

Instantly, Draco is enraged and everything in his sight is going to die a painful death

He feels betrayed by you despite treating you like utter shit for so many years

Not the mention he’s also gotten with maybe two or three other girls

He plans to ruin your date and he succeed

He burns Harry’s outfit, posses someone to spill hot tea on you, and even goes as far to sneak food you’re allergic to into your food

The date ends with you crying back to your dorm and Harry beating himself up

From this, Draco is happy and prepares to come and play knight-in-shining armor for you

But once again, he sees Harry comforting you and giving you a tight hug

Draco is literally about to kill Harry for this, cause ain’t no way he just did ALL of that for Harry to swoop in again

“You can’t take her! I loved her first! I love her more than your stupid four-eyed could ever!” He shouts at Harry

So yeah…. He just confessed out of rage

TOM RIDDLE

Never ever EVER will he get caught lacking for someone

This man keeps all of his lovey dovey feelings to himself, bro literally got a diary 😭

But when he saw you, and just like all of those dumb movies he’s seen, he was instantly love struck by you

He never knew that this was possible, he’s instantly disgusted with himself and does his best to the diminish the crush

But it won’t go away… you’re just perfect in every way

He’s so frustrated that he genuinely thinks of just killing you

But, thank GOD, he decides to not kill you and just become a stalker 😊

He finds out your entire schedule and walking path just so he can get small glimpses of you

Whenever you see him or make eye contact with him, he looks at you like you killed his entire family and he’s coming for revenge

But he’s actually drooling and hearing the most beautiful classical piano in the background

He sees you as a god/goddess that blessed him with your presence

Tom has always seen himself as the chosen one, the one given enough power to destroy and fix the world

And he sees you as his future Queen to the brand new world he will make :) kinda romanticccc

Finds all of your social media and stalks it for hours

He makes one of those fake burner accounts that looks like a bot

So when he follows you, you think nothing of it

But in reality, he’s watching you in depth

Bro finds your SPOTIFY and YOUR AO3 ACCOUNT… That’s how crazy he is

He made an entire playlist of every song you’ve ever posted and mentioned

He listens to it daily :)

Honestly, he’s just like me fr

He’s just a lil crazy and wants to know EVERYTHING about you

If you ever come up to him or are assigned partners, oh my god he’s gonna act so cold

Acts like he hates your guts and despises your existence

But in reality, he’s gonna thank every single religious figure out there for blessing him with allowing him to be in your space

MATTHEO RIDDLE

When he first saw you, he thought you were fine as hell

He was just trying to get into your pants

But when he tried to make a move, you scoffed and shoved him away

Instantly, he was attracted to you

He’s only been rejected like twice, and both times it ended with them begging on their knees for him

He was about to do the exact same thing to you

Unlike the others, he’s the only one that shows it and actively makes a move

Constantly flirts with you, no matter the time or day

Kinda like Filipino courtingggg 🤭

Finds all of your classes and walks you to all of them

Even though you want to walk with your friends, he won’t let you and always pulls you away from them

He skips his classes constantly just so he can be with you and flirt with you more

Even if you keep rejecting him or even slap him, he won’t stop. He loves when girls play hard to get

Sends you flowers, they’re a little bit ugly, but it’s the thought that counts

Sends you chocolates and stuffed animals to the point where a whole section of your dorm is dedicated to the pile of 65 stuffed animals you’ve received

He can’t really write poems or love songs, but he sends you little drawings that are barely readable

He makes little stick figures to represent you guys, one that’s super tall with abs (him) and another one that has hair and a triangle body (you)

Although you can barely understand his chicken scratch drawings, it makes you giggle from how stupid they are

Sometimes it’s him fighting off dragons, or you drowning and he saves you, or him being a rich king and you’re his queen

Never ever gives up on you, no matter what

Will fight off every single competition he has, he doesn’t care if they end up paralyzed

One time, someone older than you guys by one year tried to ask you out

Because he was a grade above you guys, he thought Mattheo wouldn’t fight him

But nopppeeee he was dead wrong, Mattheo sent him to the hospital wing repeatedly for a whole month

Even though the poor guy learned his lesson, Mattheo was mad that not only did he have the balls to ask you out but to also doubt Mattheo’s strength

Surprisingly, he cares a lot towards your friends as well and never leaves him out of the picture which is sweet

If you get a 100 roses from him (an almost daily occurrence), then he’ll get your best friends a small bouquet of 10-12 roses in return

If you get a huge chocolate box of the most expensive chocolates, then your friends get a small little wrapped box of a few chocolates

It’s really sweet and it makes your friends see that he’s actually pretty cool and sweet

Definitely goes around and lies to people by saying you two are dating

Eventually, everyone is fucking tired of you guys and basically sees you as a couple

One day, your friends say they’re gonna have a girls day and ask you to meet them at this nice restaurant

But surprise! The girls lied, you got all dressed up for nothing :(

But surprise again! Mattheo pops up. Your friends set you up with him to help you two to finally start dating

THEODORE NOTT

He’s had plenty of one night stands, weird situation-ships, and more but with you, he’s never had that

You’ve been his friend for ages, before he got hot and ripped

And he appreciated you a lot for that, he felt like he could finally be himself with someone

Over the years, he’s slowly gotten more and more comfortable with you

When he was going to bed, he thought to himself “I wouldn’t mind marrying (y/n)”

He smiled as he said that, about to sleep until his eyes shot wide open as he repeated what he said

“I wouldn’t mind marrying (y/n)??!???!!?”

When he realized he likes you, he’s a complete idiot

Normally with girls, he’s super smooth and charismatic - but that’s only because he’s trying to get into their pants

With you, you knew all his tactics and how awful of a person he can and HAS been over the years

You’ve seen him cheat, yell, and sometimes be borderline abusive to his past girlfriends

He starts to worry about how you perceive him and wants to make sure he seems like a good option

He becomes so awkward around you, it’s painful

Starts to be way nicer to you than he ever has been and becomes a lot more chivalrous

He takes off his jacket and shields you from rain, if anyone teases you he’ll get really defensive, he spoon feeds you at times, always pays for your lunch and dinner

Even goes as far as to take you on shopping sprees with no limit - even if you say no he’ll just keep track of everything you look at and buy it for you

Gets you flowers every week and always excuses it as “this is what best friends always do”

You two are basically dating… just without an official title

He’s TERRIFIEDDDD to ask, he’s literally had break downs over his fear of you rejecting him

Please just confess to him yourself, I’m not sure when he’ll get the balls and confidence to do it

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

He’s the most sane out of all of them all 😭

Literally the one line from Taylor Swift, “in a world of boys he’s a gentleman” AHAAAAHHHHH

He gets a crush on you after you two are partnered for a long term project

Loves how smart and dedicated you are, it inspires him to be the same way

Sometimes he purposely acts dumb just so that you’ll help him

Always pays attention to the small details and everything you do

Spoils you ROTTEN omg

Will take you out to go shopping with him and he whips out his black card and casually drops 25k just on clothes and makeup for you

He loves the feeling of spoiling you, makes him feel like your future husband

Praises you for everything, even the bare minimum

“Woah! I like your outfit!” And you’re literally wearing the required school uniform

He wants to date you and call you his own, but he knows he’s a fuck boy deep down

Every time he’s dated a girl, he’s ended up breaking up with them because he can’t commit or just straight up cheating on them

He’s very confident that he could change and be better, but he wants to be perfect before he dares you

Because he sees you as perfect :”) and you only deserve the best

You help motivate him to become better, even though you didn’t know you did

Starts going to the gym, works harder in school, tries to be more nice to everyone

Eventually, he’ll get the guts to ask you out for the Yule ball but he’ll keep saying you’re going as “friends”

But one day you’ll overhear him and his group talking about how fat of a crush he has on you

They all tease him and call him a simp, loverboy, everything

But when he sees that you’ve been listening the entire time, he’s so reddddd

Tries to hide his face and runs away, he avoids you for a little bit

He’s so so so scared of not being good enough or even ruining his relationship with you

He’d genuinely be okay with just being your best friend for all his life whilst loving you, even though it would hurt him so badly

Please just accept this boy 🙏 tell this man he’s enough and that you love him

read more here! :D

[verstappen-cult]

Hi, love your writing so much ❤️❤️

So I have a request could you maybe write something about Charles reacting to his girlfriend having an allergic reaction? Like she accidentally eats something (I'm allergic to apples) and he freaked out

“Honey, I’m home!” Charles says, making you giggle and jump off the couch. He’s carrying two bags from your favorite restaurant while his gym bag is in his other hand, but that doesn’t stop you from hugging him and peppering his face with kisses.

“I missed you so much,” You say with a last kiss to his lips. “and I’m starving.”

Charles gives you the bags while he takes off his shoes. “I bought two pieces of that carrot cake you like so much.”

Before you even look at what else is in the bags, you take the dessert out, grabbing a fork in the process. Charles joins you in the kitchen, stealing the first bite of the cake from you.

“I don’t know why you like it so much, it’s gross.” He complains at which you roll your eyes, finally tasting the delicious and sweet cake.

After the second bite you can taste something different, something that’s not been there all the other times you’ve had it. However, you don't think too much about it and keep eating.

“Did you ask them to add something?” You ask after half of the cake has disappeared.

“No?” He answers, mouth full of pasta. “Oh! They said they’re trying a new recipe and has—”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, Charles just snatches the plate out of your hands, causing it to fall onto the floor, making a mess.

“Charles, that’s very rude!”

“I’m so sorry, baby. We need to go to the hospital.” He grabs your hand, rushing to the front door as you look confused at him, not understanding why he’s acting like that all of a sudden.

“Char, what’s happening!”

“You need to lie on your back, I’m gonna call the—”

It takes you a moment to finally understand.

That strange taste in your mouth, why the cake wasn’t like any of the other ones you’ve had before.

Sighing, you squeeze your boyfriend’s hand, forcing him to turn around and stop for a second.

“Baby, I’ll be fine.” But Charles looks like he’s about to throw up, probably feeling so guilty. “I just need my EpiPen, can you get it for me?”

“No! We need to—”

You cup his face, looking straight into his green eyes. “Charlie, you need to calm down or I’m seriously gonna slap you in the face. Now, can you get my EpiPen? It is on my nightst—”

You haven’t finished talking but he’s already sprinting up the stairs, tripping over his own feet. There’s a big commotion upstairs, things falling and Charles cursing as he searches for the medicine you need right now.

You slowly make your way to the couch, breathing in and out, when you hear Charles footsteps approaching.

He hands you the EpiPen and you smile up at him before taking it in your hands, taking your sweatpants off enough to push it against your thigh.

Charles looks away, making a strange sound. “I’m so sorry.” He whispers, looking like a kicked puppy in the middle of the road.

“It’s okay, Char.”

“No, it’s not! I’m gonna sue them,” He starts pacing around the living room, pulling on his hair. “how dare they do this! You could die.”

“I’m not going to die.” You laugh, rubbing the area around the injection for a few seconds. “You need to calm down because this isn’t helping me.”

His expression relaxes, and he sits next to you, grabbing your free hand. “I’m sorry. I should’ve asked.”

“It’s not your fault, Charles. These things happen and they’ve been happening to me all my life.” You rub his palm, leaning to rest your head on his shoulder. “I don’t know how many times this has happened since we’ve been dating, but you still freak out.” He laughs, closing his eyes and finally, finally, relaxing against you. “It’s cute.”

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“I’m allergic to three different things, baby. You need to get used to it.”

[sufrimientilia]

healing but with downsides

Caretaker with healing powers but every second of it is excruciating for Whumpee. Burning, convulsing, screaming, the repair of flesh coming with fire or electricity or the burst pop scatter of darkness from every synapse rupturing with over-stimulation

A resurrection spell that brings Whumpee back from death but it’s like dying in reverse, shaking and gasping and horrible, so wretched and miserable all over again

Bloodletting to save Whumpee from poison or infection. Toeing the line between bloodloss and dying from whatever toxin needs to be drained

Trying spell after spell to reverse a curse or hex. Whumpee so beaten and abused by magic their body just shuts down or violently rejects it all

Whumpee with the power/affinity/etc to heal fast but practically goes comatose in the meantime. Caretaker fretting as Whumpee sleeps and can’t be roused for hours or days at a time until their wounds seem to heal on their own

Whumpee with the power/affinity/etc to heal fast but it’s like they’re dying. Maybe Whumpee fights off wounds the same way they would the flu, their body getting so feverish and sickly every time they get hurt. Maybe the energy of healing drains Whumpee entirely, leaving them all sweaty and limp and lifeless

Whumpees with the power to heal immediately on the surface but feel the pain indefinitely

Whumpee who can heal so fast they're used for organ harvesting, cut open and ripped apart again and again and again

Herbal concoctions used to make powerful healing potions that taste putrid, forced down Whumpee’s throat as they choke and struggle, too out of it to really fight back

Concoctions that save Whumpee from fatal stab wounds but feel so bad. Poultices and salves that burn or ache, tinctures that make them so restless and disoriented they dream about such horrible things while Caretaker wipes sweat off their brow

Caretaker having to soothe and look after Whumpee as they give them dose after dose of something that makes them feel terrible. Maybe it’s the only thing keeping them alive, but Caretaker feels guilty all the while

Drugs that promote healing but have a whole slew of side effects. Anxiety, heart palpitations, overstimulation, allergic reactions, horrible withdrawals after Whumpee heals

Whumpee’s wounds getting better in every physical way but they just feel so much worse

[kots-kots]

I MADE A JOJO AU WITH PART 2 AND PART 4 LOLLL

BASICALLY..

This is a Pillar Men survives AU/Redeemed Pillar Men AU so they’re very much alive

I was thinking maybe somehow the Aja was destroyed and Kars was like.. “guys we gotta fix it” (they find out about Josuke through the speedwagon foundation)

ORRRR

SANTANA SIGHTING IN JAPAN??? WE MUST FIND HIM

and so sometime after (or during?) the events of DIU they go to Japan

meanwhile Santana somehow enrolls into the same school as da Duwang Gang bcuz he wanted to learn more abt humanity or something along the lines of that…

and this may be the most random pair to exist but i think he’d be friends with Mikitaka

THINK ABOUT IT

NON HUMAN… ALLERGIC TO SEEMINGLY NORMAL THINGS… body horror???

much of this AU is kinda for shits and giggles so like even I don’t know too much abt it yet LOL

pt 2

pt 3

pt 4

pt 5

pt 6

pt 7

pt 8

pt 9

pt 10

[coqhee]

SECRET RECIPE TO YOUR LOVE 𓂃 심재윤

✷ in which jake receives a list from your friends with all your favorite things and uses them in an attempt to get you to fall in love with him.

downbad jake︲fem reader ︲fluff, comedy, chef! reader︲petname (once), small fluffy kiss at the end︲1700 / more

─── ♡

jake was so desperately in love the day he saw you at the campus restaurant working there as a part time job. he didn’t even like the food there, yet he came back every single day just to see you.

he was too nervous to speak to you, and it wasn’t until your best friend chaewon noticed how puppy eyed he looked, staring at you almost every single shift.

that’s when he struck gold with chaewon offering a deal of a lifetime. the secret recipes and ingredients to your love.

“time to pay up, i basically gave you a ‘how to’ make her fall in love with you” chaewon tutted with her hand extended out towards jake.

jake was willing to pay any price, and pulled out his wallet non hesitantly pulling out cash to hand to your friend.

he was more than excited to utilize the list.

“she’s worth it,” jake mumbled, watching as chaewon counted the money with a smirk.

“oh, i know. that’s why i made this list so thorough,” she teased, waving the folded piece of paper in front of him. “don’t mess this up.”

jake took the list, his heart racing just at the thought of finally making you see him as more than a friend. he knew every tip and trick chaewon listed out would be essential.

he unfolded it slowly, scanning the first line.

unbeknownst to him, chaewon had just set him up for failure, but he was a desperate desperate man willing to trust any source close to you.

─── ♡

INGREDIENT 1 : BUY HER DAHLIAS

the next day, jake showed up outside your lecture hall, a small bouquet of dahlias wrapped in soft tissue paper in his hands. he’d looked them up after reading the list, finding out that dahlias were your favorite.

your eyes widened when you saw him. “jake, what’s this?”

“for you,” he said, smiling, his cheeks flushed pink. “just thought…you deserve something nice.”

“thank you,” you murmured, a bit of nervousness creeping into your smile. you didn’t have the heart to tell him that you were mildly allergic. your nose was already starting to tingle, but you held them close anyway, wanting to appreciate the gesture fully.

“you like them?” jake asked, looking relieved and proud, as if he’d just won a small victory.

you nodded, sneezing softly into your elbow and giving him a thumbs-up to reassure him. “they’re really beautiful, jake. honestly.”

“good,” he replied, his grin widening, clearly pleased with himself. he didn’t seem to notice your eyes starting to water, or maybe he did and thought it was out of happiness.

you walked together, and he stayed close, chatting happily as if he’d broken a small barrier between you two.

as soon as he left, you quickly ducked into the restroom, letting out a sigh of relief as you carefully set the dahlias down by the sink, sniffling and laughing at the same time.

even if he’d gotten it a little wrong, the thought behind it made your heart flutter.

jake returned to his dorm room feeling victorious, his heart pounding as he recalled the thoughts earlier in the day.

─── ♡

INGREDIENT 2 : BUY HER GRAPE AND CHERRY CANDY

the next week, between classes (that he had memorized), jake found you by the lockers, his face lighting up as he pulled a small, crinkling bag from his pocket. “hey, i heard these are your favorite,” he said, holding up a pack of cherry and grape candies with a proud grin.

you blinked, momentarily confused. cherry and grape? the artificial flavors you always avoided? still, the excitement on his face was enough to make you tuck away your true feelings.

“oh… wow, jake,” you said, trying to match his enthusiasm, a slight unsure smile tugging at your lips. “thank you. you really didn’t have to.” your favorite?

“of course i did,” he said, beaming, clearly satisfied with himself. “just a little something to brighten your day.”

you took the bag from him, glancing down at the bright red and purple candies inside. you figured he must have heard wrong, but his effort—misguided as it was—still made your heart skip a beat. it was such a tiny thing, yet you couldn’t help but find it oddly endearing.

“you’re really sweet, you know that?” you said, hoping to focus on his effort rather than the actual candy.

“anything for you,” jake replied, his cheeks coloring slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“i’ll, uh, save these for later,” you told him, tucking the candies into your bag. there was no way you’d eat them, but maybe you could give it to a teacher or chaewon.

jake’s face brightened even more. “awesome. let me know if you need more—i’ll get you all the cherry and grape candy you want.”

“thanks, jake,” you replied, biting back a laugh, your heart warming at his clueless sincerity.

as he walked away, you couldn’t stop smiling.

jake’s suspicions began to arise to your confused expression, but nonetheless he was sure this recipe was cooking up love between the two of you.

─── ♡

INGREDIENT 3 : TAKE HER TO THE BEACH

you in fact, hated swimming. you were none the wiser to chaewon planning your demise, but with someone like jake initiating all these plans, it was hard to avoid them.

jake’s eyes sparkled with excitement as he bounced on his toes outside your dorm, his car keys in hand. “ready for the beach day?” he asked, grinning ear to ear.

you froze, the smile on your face faltering just slightly. “the beach?”

“yeah! thought it’d be fun to get some sun, maybe dip our feet in the water.” he shrugged casually, as if it were the best idea ever.

you bit your lip, feeling a twist of nerves in your stomach. “oh, um… the beach?”

“yeah! i remember hearing somewhere that you love the beach, so i figured—” he paused, noticing your hesitant expression. his brow furrowed, eyes softening. “wait, you… do like the beach, right?”

you felt your cheeks warm, not wanting to let him down. “uh… not exactly,” you admitted, giving him a sheepish look. “i’m a little scared of it, the water at least,”

his mouth opened in surprise, and he rubbed the back of his neck, clearly a bit flustered. “oh, wow, i… i didn’t know that. i’m so sorry! i thought—”

“it’s okay,” you interrupted quickly, laughing softly to ease his nerves. “it’s actually really sweet that you thought of me, you could take of your friends though,”

he blinked, clearly relieved but still looking embarrassed. “well, maybe we could walk on the boardwalk and get ice cream. away from the water of course,”

you felt yourself relax, nodding eagerly. “that sounds perfect.”

he laughed, holding his arm out for you. “ice cream it is. and next time, i’ll double-check my sources.”

as you walked away from the beach plan and toward ice cream, you couldn’t help but feel a little closer to him.

─── ♡

INGREDIENT 4 : BE HONEST WITH HER

as you two strolled toward the ice cream shop, jake glanced down at his phone, a hint of suspicion in his eyes. he seemed lost in thought, almost like he was putting pieces together.

“you know,” he started, his voice thoughtful, “chaewon was so confident when she gave me that list. but now… i’m starting to think it was a lie.

“chaewon? did she put you up to the candy and flowers too?” you asked giggling.

“honestly, yeah. she noticed me coming into the campus restaurant every day and felt bad, i guess,” jake admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “she said she’d help me out with, you know… figuring out what you liked.”

you tilted your head, fighting back a smile. “so she decided to give you a list of all my supposed ‘favorites’?”

jake nodded, groaning. “yeah, but now that i think about it, she had this weird look on her face when she handed it over. like she was way too happy about it.”

you chuckled, shaking your head. “sounds like chaewon.”

“i just really wanted to impress you i guess,” jake sighed admitting his feelings.

your heart skipped at his confession, and you felt warmth bloom in your chest. he wasn’t just being sweet—he meant it. all the little gestures, even if they’d gone slightly wrong, came from a genuine place.

“you did, jake,” you said, your voice just as soft, meeting his eyes. “not because of the candy or the beach idea… but because you tried. because you care.”

his eyes widened slightly, and a faint blush crept up his cheeks. “you mean that?”

you nodded, smiling at him. “of course i do. you didn’t need to do any of that to impress me, you know. i already… well, i already like you.”

jake froze, the words seeming to catch him off guard. “wait… you—what?”

you laughed, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “i like you, jake. honestly, i’ve liked you for a while. i just didn’t think you…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling shy.

“are you serious?” he asked, a goofy grin spreading across his face. “you like me?”

“yes, jake,” you said, laughing now at how giddy he looked. “i like you.”

standing close, you found yourself caught in his gaze, noticing for the first time just how warm his eyes were. flecks of amber glowed under the soft light, gentle and inviting, holding a hint of vulnerability that made your heart flutter.

“your eyes are really pretty,” you commented gazing into them, admiring the color.

“you mean that angel?” he asked, his face reaching closer to yours as if asking for approval, in which you nodded.

jake leaned in slowly, eyes searching yours for a brief moment. then, his lips brushed softly against yours, warm and gentle, a quiet, unspoken promise lingering between you both.

maybe the recipe to your love was reinvented by jake to be successful after all, despite the small (minor!) flaws written in by chaewon.

─── ♡

a/n: happy jake day!! obligatory jake fic cause ofc >< all likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated <3

@ coqhee 2024. all rights reserved

[rainylana]

“Takin’ care of my best girl.”

Eddie Munson x female reader

summary: reader has a panic attack during the night.

warnings: panic attack, anxiety, tears and descriptions of anxiety symptoms, hurt/comfort, fear of allergic reaction/throat swelling.

You’re sitting on the porch. The air is cool and breezy against your face, the moon shines a calming light on the grass in from of you, making it shimmer. There’s cats roaming in trash cans. Maybe they’re raccoons, actually. It was a beautiful night, but you weren’t really able to enjoy it.

Your heart was pounding, head aching and body trembling with fear, a fear you didn’t know what it exactly was. Your stomach was so twisted with knots and nerves you thought you’d surely pass out. It hurt to breath. You couldn’t breath. Your hands were cradling your head, holding your body tight and hoping it would pass.

It always passed. It always went away and you were always okay. They didn’t normally get this bad. You were getting so much better at handling them. For some reason tonight wasn’t the case. You debated waking Eddie up, but you hated keeping him up with you when you got this way. It wasn’t fair to him.

You had tried all the things to help you. You squeezed an ice cub in your palm, took a cold shower, tried watching to tv to distract yourself. You couldn’t stop swallowing, testing to see if your throat was closing up, which was now raw and irritated from your constant swallowing. You tried taking deep breaths, hands shaking as you placed a hand over your chest, grasping at your shirt.

Once you thought you were getting better, it would start up again. The sudden racing of your heart that made you breathless. After a few minutes, you began to pace, gripping at your chest and willing it to go away. What if there was something wrong with you? Were your lungs actually closing? Were you having an allergic reaction?

That’s what got you every time. You always thought you were dying, and you never were.

You needed to go to the hospital. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You’d been to the er many times for panic attacks, but what if it was serious this time? With trembling legs you walked back inside to your bedroom, rounding the bed and shaking Eddie urgently.

“Eddie?” Your still holding your chest. “Eddie?”

His eyes flutter open, squinting in the dark. “Hmm?”

“I’m scared.” You say, bringing up a nail to bite. “I think something might be wrong.”

Those key words had him sitting up, rubbing his eyes. He leans over and switches on the light, looking up to take you in. He knows what’s wrong immediately, lifting the blanket so he can get out of bed. “What’s going on?” His voice is tired and gruff. “You anxious about something?”

You shake your head yes, grasping at your throat. “I- I uh, I think my throat might be swelling up. Maybe I ate something.”

He nods slowly, bringing his hands up to ghost at your arms. “What brought this on? Did it just start?”

“No, I’ve been up awhile.” You say, trying to swallow again. You do, but harshly, pushing out a choked breath that has you pacing around the room. “Eddie, I’m scared.”

“You’re alright, baby.” He’s following you, grabbing your hand. “Come on, let’s go out to the living room.” He guides you out there, sitting you on the kitchen chair by the stove. “I’ll make you some tea.”

Your eyes start to well up and you shake your head. “No, I- I think we should go to the hospital, Eddie.” Your voice came out desperate.

He’d done this with you so many times, yet the urgency and fear in your voice always made him nervous, even though he knew you were completely fine. He puts the tea in the microwave, setting it for two minutes before he’s crouching in front of you. “Hey,” He’s grasping your face. “You’re alright. You know that. We just have to work through it okay? Like we always do.”

You let out a sob that makes his heart ache, a tear dropping town to his wrist. “But I’m scared.”

“I know you are.” He coos, petting your hair. “If you really want to go I’ll take you, but you’re strong enough to fight this, baby. I’m right here with you, right? We can get through this.” He leans up and kisses your forehead, then your cheek, going back to the microwave to let you think.

Your knee is bouncing quickly, your knuckles tapping at the table like you’re trying to communicate through morse code. Your breathing gets heavier and heavier, your head getting harder to keep up. You gasp, groaning loudly as you lean over.

He’s bringing the cup of tea over to you quickly, sitting it on the table to hold your back. “Just breath, sweetheart.” He’s rubbing your back, crouching beside you. “You’re alright.”

You start to sob, head between your knees as you fight to be sick. You hiccup, shoulders shaking with your cries. You reach to grip his arm. “My stomach hurts so bad.”

It wasn’t rare for you to throw up when you got worked up. He quickly brought the kitchen trashcan over to you, sitting it in front of you so you could have it at the ready.

“Keep breathing.” He instructs you, bringing the tea over to you. “Here, try and drink some of this.” He wasn’t ever sure if the tea helped, but it made him feel useful when you got to feeling poorly.

When your tea is gone, after practically gulping down the hot liquid, he’s rubbing your shaking shoulders, trying to get the knots out of muscles. He switches on the tv to gilligans island, the episode where the professor is trying to make a phone out of a coconut and a banana peel.

You keep crying through half of the episode, coiling over here and there. When you did, he rubbed the back of your neck and kissed your shoulder, telling you to breath and that you were going to get through it.

When you’re three episodes in, your tears have stopped and you’re left with nothing but embarrassment and humiliation, your face beat red as you begin to mutter an apology. “I’m sorry.” Your voice is shaky and hoarse. He’s sitting beside you now, his arm tossed around your shoulders.

“Don’t be.” He smiles, tapping your nose. “Just doing my job.”

“Your job?” You sniffle.

“Takin’ care of my best girl.” He kissed you, a quick peck on the lips as he leans over and turns off the living room light, snuggling back into the couch and pulling you into his chest.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Heyyy

So I really liked the Damian Wayne x reader platonic friend thingy your wrote. I really feel like there should be more of those.

Anyways, k cam where to respect something similar. Can u maybe write hc on what it'd be like to be friends w him? Like bantering n stuff and maybe u can focus a bit on how Bruce feels abt it? Oh and bonus points if the reader is awkward.

Toodles!

Being friends with Damian isn’t easy in the slightest, mainly because he doesn’t make it easy for anyone to befriend him in the first place. So the fact that you managed to accomplish that was a major achievement already.

However that didn’t mean anything afterwards was made any easier for you just because you managed to make the impossible become possible. No. Why? Damian is one hell of a dry conversationalist if Titus or animals in general weren’t involved.

He’s basically an extroverts worst nightmare given a human form. For no matter how hard you tried to bait him into giving more then a one word answer out of him, it always ends with Damian not taking the bait and allowing a air of awkward silence to befall you both while everyone else was having a better time then you.

You: hey Damian.

Him: hello l/n.

You: how have you been?

Him: in peak condition, why?

You: it’s because I don’t see you that much outside of school, it’s almost as if your allergic to social interaction.

Him: Tt. why should I go out of my way to do such a thing? I have you as an acquaintance don’t I?

You: I mean yeah I guess-

Him: then I have no need to expand my friend group, for they’ll only disappoint me. Now is that all?

You: I mean there’s not much else to talk about at this point.

Him: good.

*cue to the pair of you sitting in utter, awkward silence*

When Damian says one friend is all he needs, he genuinely means it. One is enough for him. He doesn’t need anymore because he knows that he doesn’t have the time for them. Plus he might not say it out loud but he does appreciate your friendship, even if your both awkward individuals within most social situations, but he is happy that someone finally gave him a chance to be a friend.

So even if you were to ever ask why you were friends it’ll probably go something a bit like this;

You: why are you friends with me?

Him: you aren’t an idiot, plus you’re the only one who isn’t insufferable.

You: is that meant to be taken as a compliment or…

Him: take it as you see fit.

You: okay…

Damian as a friend would be protective i’d like to think? I mean you are literally the first friend he’s made so naturally he’s going to feel something when he sees you being friends with anyone else that wasn’t him.

Was it insecurity that you not day might not want to be his friend anymore? Possibly.

Will he ever admit to it though? No. This is Damian we’re talking about, of course he won’t.

Also being friends with Damian would best summed up as being two people who shouldn’t work but ultimately do either way, kind of like an ‘against all their differences they’re the best of friends’ type of duo because nobody and I mean nobody saw a friendship between you two ever happening. Ever.

Not even the great Bruce Wayne.

Speaking about him. If you ever got to visit the Wayne Manor and meet his father aka THE Bruce Wayne. Take it as a sign as you’ve made it as Damian’s best friend.

Would you shit yourself upon meeting quite possibly the most powerful man in Gotham? Yes and your sweating buckets on top of that, all the while Damian would be stood next to you completely unfazed as he introduced you to his father as his best mate.

Damian: father.

Bruce: Damian.

Damian: *points to you* this is my best friend and I expect that they get treated with respect during their visit here.

You: hi- hello it’s an honour to meet you M-Mr Wayne sir.

Bruce: tell me how you’ve come to befriend my son?

You: we were in the same art class and I noticed that he had no one to sit next to, and so I offered for him to sit with me, keep in mind I’m not that well liked and practically had a whole table to myself, and I’d like to think our friendship started with that small act of kindness Mr Wayne sir.

Bruce: and had Damian been kind to you?

You: in his own unique way sir but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Bruce: *smiled* you’re a good kid l/n and you can go ahead and drop the formalities and call me Bruce instead. I shall go and tell Alfred to add another plate at the dinner table tonight.

Bruce, upon hearing that Damian had made a friend, wanted to meet you within immediate effect and see whether or not his son made for a good judge of character and he wasn’t disappointed.

Given the fact that you were awkward aside, you were defiantly what Damian needed for a friend, and Bruce was happy to see his son finally get to be normal for once as he watched from the window as Damian practically dragged you out to the spacious backyard with an excitable Titus on your heels as the Great Dane tried to get up and personal with you.

Alfred: they are certainly a pair, aren’t they master Bruce.

Bruce: an odd pair they may seem but they even out the other perfectly. Besides when was the last time Damian looked genuinely happy?

Alfred; can’t say that I recall sir.

Bruce: neither can I. At first I was sceptical but I’m glad being wrong. I can only hope that a friendship like theirs will stand the test of time because there will be times that will test their limits with one another. But if they’re as good a pair as I think they are then they’ll be perfectly fine.

Alfred: couldn’t have put it better myself sir *smiles alongside Bruce as they watched you and Damian act on your own within the others presence while in comfortable silence as Titus fell asleep at both of your feet.*

Yeah you’ll both be alright. You’ve got each other after all and that’s what matters at the end of the day.

[7ndipity]

Leaving For The Military

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How they would be with their crush or S/o before enlisting and how they keep in touch.

Warnings: none

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anons who requested this! I debated on whether or not I would post something about this, but since several of you asked, I decided I would. I did decid to make this more fluffy/crackish tho, cause I don’t want y’all getting too sad.(also, I struggled with this one a bit, so I’m sorry if it’s shit)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I think back a lot on how he said before that he’s allergic to seriousness, so other than when he first tells you about going, I think he tries to keep things really light and upbeat.

Probably spends the whole week before leaving asking you to shave his head. “I’m not doing that!” “Why not? It’ll be a bonding experience!”

Leaves several little notes/letters for you(similar to his messages for Army) saying how much he loves and can’t wait to see you again. Plus, you’ve seen how frequently he posts on weverse, so you know he’s texting/calling you all the time.

Yoongi:

Since he’s in public service and getting to stay close to home(I think?), he really tries to avoid making a big deal out of it. Like, it’s obviously still a major shift in his life, but being able to still see/talk to you regularly would make it a lot easier.

If you live abroad tho, he would take it a bit more seriously, making sure the two of you talk as regularly as possible.(since they’re not allowed to travel abroad during service)

Literally keeps a list of things he wants to tell you/talk about whenever y’all call/video chat so he won’t forget anything.

Hobi:

He makes a point to spend as much time with you as possible before he leaves, making little bucket lists of things for the two of you to do together before and after enlistment.

Lowkey keeps flexing in his uniform(you’ve seen his insta, you know it’s true) “I look kinda good tho, right Babe? Babe?” *😑agrees but won’t admit it*

He misses you so much, and he calls/checks in with you every chance he gets(honestly, y’all talk more than me and my besties, lol)

Namjoon:

He’s rather solemn and serious about the whole thing, though he tries not to talk about it too much, trying to focus more on enjoying your time together rather than dwelling on what’s to come.

Y’all probably spent the whole night before he left awake and talking about anything and everything, not wanting to lose any time together on sleep.

Tries to call/message you as often as possible, getting over-excited to catch up on what’s going on in your life and share what he’s doing.

Jimin:

He spends the last couple days before leaving practically fused to your side, trying to soak up as much time with you as possible. He doesn’t say anything, but you can tell he’s anxious abt all of it.

Another that would probably leave you one, or more likely multiple notes/letters for after he leaves for you to read whenever you’re feeling down(totally didn’t read them all in the first week, wym?).

He messages/calls you every chance he gets(probs featuring an appearance from Jk, if it’s true abt them getting to stick together)

Taehyung:

He takes a semi-unserious approach to the whole thing. Like, he’s very sincere and open when you have the initial discussion about him leaving, but after that he’s just making little cracks about it here and there.

“You know, it’s kinda like the plot of a drama.” “It’s really not.”

He’s so dramatic abt missing you, calling you constantly. Another who would likely leave you little notes for when you’re feeling low, though his include random suggestions like eating at certain restaurants y’all like or watching your fav movies/shows.

Jungkook:

As we’ve seen with his posts from the past couple weeks, I think he would be somewhat somber when he first talks to you about everything and maybe again right before he leaves, but the rest of the time he’d try to keep things light and unserious.

(you know he’s constantly trying to get you to rub his head after he gets it shaved🙄)

Obviously, he misses you like crazy, but he tries not to let on too much at first when y’all talk, but it starts to show when he admits you’re always the first person he calls or texts.

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[thediaryofaurora]

It’s ok if you can’t but I would love for the next headcanons for creepypasta character could you do X-Virus.

General HCs

X-Virus/Cody Anderson

Sorry this one is sooooo long. I have so much to say about this nerd.

- Seventeen! Barely older than Toby.

- Roughly 6’0, maybe a little over. He isn’t very toned, since he really just sits in the lab all day.

- White with mostly Welsh heritage.

- He was in foster case from about seven to thirteen. His mom was neglectful and a drug addict so child services inevitably took him away. He was adopted by a pathologist who created and spread chronic diseases that only he knew how to treat, which he profited from since he was the only person who knew how to cure them.

- His foster father had used Cody as an assistant and made sure he knew his way around the lab. They would often test the diseases on animals first and see if the cure worked just enough so that people would continuously come back for medication rather than completely healing. At around fifteen Cody was trusted to be in the lab alone, so he would take the time to test more fatal things on the test subjects. A few years later when he was about seventeen, he was a little too desensitized to fatal infections and death. He thought seeing how animals reacted to his creations weren’t enough to prove the data he wanted.

- With that, he went into one of his lonesome neighbor’s homes in the dead of night and tested one of his viruses on him. He had planned to return home and brush it off, but Slender thought he was too valuable to let him go.

- This dude is a GENIUS, and a massive nerd. Most of the residents overlook it since he’s just a dumb teenager who works in the infirmary, but he’s extremely intelligent. He spends all of his days studying and analyzing data, so it’s kind of a given.

- Mainly gets along with Toby, EJ, and surprisingly Helen.

- Since him and Toby are extremely close in age, they naturally hovered to each other when they first met. They aren’t necessarily similar, but they do have a brotherly connection.

- Him and EJ work together in the infirmary/ lab, so they have to communicate and at least slightly get along. Jack almost sees him as an annoying little sibling, but it’s a nice presence. Cody really looks up to him and that means a lot.

- Helen stops by on occasion to talk to Jack and over time he started talking to Cody. They’re strangely compatible given their age difference and personalities, but Helen’s a listener and Cody can’t help but ramble. Helen does botany in his free time, so he’ll bring by plants for him to study or incorporate into his excitements. Cody always makes sure to track Helen down and give him all the results and notes he took of whatever plant he had brought.

- Germaphobe. His hands are DRY from over washing and using so much hand sanitizer.

- He has a bunch of rodents and other test animals for his experiments. He’s made sure to tell Nina if she ever doesn’t want her guinea pigs anymore he’d be glad to take them.

- Strangely smells like a dentist’s office. With all the chemicals, hand sanitizer, and air fresheners in the lab he’s bound to.

- Allergic to dogs, and cats, and everything ever.

- He’s a pretty big recluse. A perfect day in his eyes is sitting alone in the lab and testing a bunch of random shit, which sounds pretty boring to anyone he tells that to.

- Cyber punk enthusiast to the absolute core. You can’t look at him and think otherwise.

- He rarely goes on missions. Usually he’s stationed in the lab to either cover for EJ or do whatever the hell he wants. In the occasion that he does get sent out, him and Jack make a great pair. Since EJ can sense pretty much anything and everything, all Cody needs is the go ahead to take the kill.

- Straight, but he doesn’t really think about intimate relationships very often. If he’s watching a movie with romance in it he might think on it for a little, but he prioritizes his work over anything. If he had to date someone in the mansion, it would probably be Nina. She’s as hyper as him and doesn’t know anything about science, so she gladly listens to whatever he’s working on. However, in realistic terms he wouldn’t date her.

- He likes musicals, I specifically mention this because Repo! The Genetic Opera reminds me of him and he would absolutely love that movie.

- Listens to a surprising amount of goth music. He thinks it’s the only music that makes him feel more productive, so he puts in his wired headphones and works while listening to it. Massive Siouxsie and the Banshees fan.

- His room is PRISTINE. Absolutely no decorations, just scattered files and white bedding. Since he’s such a germaphobe he tries to keep his room as clean as possible, even if he’s not in it very much. He thrives on energy drinks and the most sleep he gets is a nap, usually in the lab with his head down on his desk.

- HORRIBLE handwriting, definitely adds up with him being somewhat of a doctor. Pretty much only him and Helen can (almost) decipher it.

- He gets soooo giddy when referred to as Dr. Anderson. It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does he’s ecstatic, especially because that’s what his foster father went by.

- Wears a lab coat and goggles on the regular. It’s not always necessary, but he feels so accomplished when he does. Occasionally wears scrubs.

- He’s been one of my favorites for like five years.

Thank you for reading! Feedback and requests are welcome.

✧✬✧✬✧✬✧✬✧✬✧✬✧

[fire-bugged]

The mercs reaction to being handed a kitten!

Mercenaries Are Handed A Kitten

Scout

- He’s never been around cats before. Never had any as a kid, and the base isn’t exactly a great place to keep pets.

- But the moment that little ball of fluff starts purring in his arms, his heart is melting. It’s just so cute!

- He has never felt anything so soft before, and he can’t stop smiling. Ends up trapped on the couch when they fall asleep in his lap. He doesn’t want to move and accidentally scare the little guy away.

- Also finds out the hard way that he’s allergic to cats. Cannot stop sneezing after only five minutes of petting the kitten. Worth it.

Soldier

- For the most part, he’s indifferent about cats. They’re cute, but beyond that he doesn’t have much of an opinion of them.

- But when the kitten starts play-biting him, he has the biggest grin on his face. He didn’t know cats could be so ferocious!

- Soldier now has a new favorite cadet. He trained the cat to attack ankles and leap down from high places to claw people. The only problem is that they can’t distinguish between teams very well. No one is safe from the feline terror. He’s still trying to figure out how to fix that little issue, but he’s incredibly proud nonetheless.

- The cat also gets along very well with Lieutenant Bites and the other raccoons. Maybe a little too well… they’ve learned how to sneak out of the base and tend to come home smelling of sour cream and garbage. Frequent baths are a must.

Pyro

- Absolutely ECSTATIC! They’ve always wanted a cat!

- They are immediately in love with the kitty. They spend SO much time getting cat supplies, alongside a ton of cute little cat toys, a cat tower, and a scratching post.

- Their cat is super chill. Completely unbothered by anything or anyone. Pyro uses this to their advantage to put the cat in cute little outfits sometimes. They have an entire cork board filled with photos of their cat in adorable costumes.

- The cat is allowed to freely wander the base, and Pyro loves to just follow them around and watch them do cat things. Whether it’s climbing up onto shelves, bathing itself, or just lounging in a sunbeam, Pyro enjoys hanging out with their cat.

Demoman

- When you hand him a kitten, he’s a bit hesitant at first. It’s far too dangerous to have a cat running around, the wee lad is going to be blown to smithereens!

- But to his surprise, the cat proves itself to be a fairly tough little guy. They’re able to stay out of trouble, mostly keeping to themselves and not getting into anything they shouldn’t. They’re also a skilled hunter, and single-handedly got rid of the base’s mouse problems.

- Demoman quickly took notice of how well the cat keeps rodents out of the base, and he gained a lot of respect for them. He’s a man who appreciates hard work.

- The cat is very food motivated. If anyone has food, they’ll follow them around yowling loudly until they’re given some table scraps. Demoman is the biggest sucker when it comes to this, and is the sole reason why the cat has gotten a bit fat. He can’t help it, they’re just so cute when they want something!

Heavy

- After being a mercenary for so long, there isn’t much that surprises Heavy anymore. However, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting you to suddenly hand him a kitten out of nowhere.

- The little ball of fur fits perfectly in the palm of his hand. He knew cats were small, but this thing is absolutely tiny.

- Refuses to feed it kibble. Heavy’s philosophy is that if he wouldn’t want to eat it, the cat shouldn’t be expected to, either. The cat’s diet mostly consists of various cooked meats, instead.

- The cat ends up being the type to perch on his shoulders. Whether Heavy is spending time in the rec room with the others, reading, cleaning Sascha, the cat will always leap up onto his back and curl around his shoulders and neck. Heavy will always reach up to gently pet the cat before returning to whatever he was doing.

Engineer

- He’s always been a dog person, but he’s familiar with cats thanks to how often he came across barn cats back in Texas. So when he’s handed a kitten out of nowhere, he’s got a fairly good idea of how to care for it.

- The kitten is a bit timid at first, but with a bit of patience, gentle encouragement, and tasty cat treats, Engineer is able to get the little guy to come out of their shell.

- The cat is an absolute cuddle-bug. They love to sit on his lap while he writes out new blueprints for his buildings. They like to swat at his pencil while he’s trying to write.

- The cat also likes to lay on top of the dispensers around the base. It’s one of their favorite places to nap.

Medic

- Medic is a bird person, not a cat person. The moment he’s handed a kitten, he immediately becomes a bit nervous. He doesn’t mind cats, but he doesn’t want them anywhere near his birds.

- He’ll likely find a new home for the cat with one of his teammates. So long as the cat is kept far away from his surgical ward and private quarters, then he’s fine.

- He may be able to cheat death in countless ways, but he hates the thought of his doves getting hurt. He’s not going to take that chance.

Sniper

- When he’s initially handed the kitten, he has no idea what to do with it. He’s never had a cat before. The only pet he’s ever had was a Spotted Python he had as a kid.

- The cat is very timid at first, running and hiding whenever someone comes close. Sniper can’t help but sympathize with the poor thing. It’s clearly scared and doesn’t understand what’s going on.

- He starts trying to gain its trust by leaving food in places close to where it likes to hide, and keeps his distance from those places. He never tries to approach the cat, not wanting to scare it away. As time goes on, the cat eventually starts to realize that Sniper isn’t a threat, and becomes curious instead. Sometimes, it even creeps up to him and gives him a cautious sniff, only to immediately run away the moment Sniper notices it.

- Progress is slow, but eventually Sniper is able to pet the cat for the first time without them being scared. They even begin to purr, and Sniper cracks a smile at the sound. All it took was a little time and patience.

Spy

- He had a couple of cats in the past, and he loved them very dearly. He hasn’t had a cat in years, but the moment the little kitten is in his hands, he can’t help but immediately fall in love with it.

- He’ll pretend he didn’t and act annoyed about having to look after it. But when you come back a couple hours later to check on him, that cat is melting in his lap and purring louder than a chainsaw.

- Absolutely spoils this cat. Only the highest-quality wet foods for them, as well as the plushest of cat beds to sleep on. However, the cat still prefers to sleep in his lap. Good thing he keeps a lot of lint rollers handy.

- He is also allergic to cats. He does have medication to help with it, though, so it doesn’t bother him as much.

[marlynnofmany]

Clues

Even though it was mid-afternoon on our spaceship, the local time for this part of the planet was early morning. Zhee and I strolled over from the spaceport to the store where a package was waiting for pickup, expecting to arrive right when it opened, but nope: we were early. Most of the stores on this city street were still closed and dark, lit by the vivid pink sunrise and ignored by passing hovercars. Window cleaners soaped up the big front windows of our destination: a good-sized jewelry/accessory store.

The cleaners were a pair of Strongarms, which made this a fascinating career choice. I’d seen Mimi climb all over the engine parts on our ship. I knew his tentacles had good enough suction for this sort of thing. But these two were small and particularly athletic, and they had climbed to the top of the window, cleaning from the top down, erasing their suction cup marks as they went. If their cleaning tools had been the messy old-fashioned kind, there probably would have been too much dripping to make that possible, but these professionals were cleaning fast with nary a slip.

Zhee didn’t care. “How inconsiderate of the proprietor to not be here early to meet us,” he said with an irritated click of his pincher arms. The pink sunrise reflected off his purple exoskeleton, making him more colorful than usual. He probably would have been proud of that if he wasn’t busy being annoyed. “Waiting here is boring. Let’s see if that shop has anything worth looking at.” He flicked an antenna at the storefront two doors over, which had just turned on its light.

“Sure,” I agreed, “We can at least look through the window if they’re not open yet.”

Zhee grumbled something that made me suspect he might badger them into letting us in even if they weren’t.

Luckily I didn’t have to talk him out of being rude; the store was open after all. It was a little shop full of miscellaneous knickknacks and multi-species food items. Plenty of things to look at. The Frillian shopkeep was delighted to sell us both snacks: gummy intestine candy for Zhee (ew) and mixed nuts for me. I’d had that brand before, and was sure that it didn’t hold anything alien that would give me unexpected allergies.

(I haven’t been allergic to any food yet that was rated for human consumption, but I wasn’t about to take chances.)

I also picked up a packet of the heat stickers that Paint and the others liked, since they were on sale and the shopkeep was excited about this new item.

“Do you get a lot of Heatseekers here?” I asked.

“Oh no, but these have many uses,” she told me, typing in the price. “Other species like to be warm as well, especially if they are headed in a cold direction. And my cousin uses them to warm food! I expect these will be very popular.”

“I expect so,” I agreed.

Zhee was at the door, looking toward the other shop, and he made a little “aha” noise. I finished my purchase, thanked the shopkeep, then joined him in heading back toward the place we’d meant to visit.

I carried my purchases in a nifty Waterwill bag; the shopkeep hadn’t been as excited about that as the heat stickers, so maybe they were old hat here. But I still found the concept of hard water fascinating. It occurred to me that the waterbag and the heat stickers could probably make an awful lot of steam together, especially if handled improperly. I’d be back on the ship soon, though, and the bag could melt into regular water safely in the sink.

The window cleaners were just packing up as we arrived, and the angle of the sun made their work shine. Not a suction cup mark to be seen. I gave them a polite nod while Zhee tried the doors. Still locked, but lights were on inside, as well as the morning sun. Someone moved near the counter. When Zhee rapped on the door and waved a pincher, they hurried forward. It looked like another Mesmer.

The door opened. “Are you the couriers?” snapped a blue-white bug man who was slightly shorter than Zhee. I was a terrible judge of Mesmer ages, but he sounded older. He spoke directly to Zhee.

“Yes,” Zhee said. “From the good ship Slap the Stars.”

“Great. Come with me.” He ushered us inside and re-locked the door, not so much as batting an antenna at our excellent ship name. No sense of fun, this guy.

As we walked between the aisles of shiny merchandise — bracelets and bangles and exoskeleton accents — distant shouting filtered through the closed door in the back. Somebody sounded mad.

“Wait here,” said the Mesmer, gesturing toward the front counter. Then he disappeared into the back room.

Somebody was definitely mad. When the door opened, I caught something about professionalism, in a tone that suggested this was a boss dressing down employees.

A glance at Zhee told me he had no idea either.

When the Mesmer came back — who never did introduce himself, I realized — he was carrying a high-end stasis case for shipping, and he walked quickly. I still caught a few words that sounded like a demand for someone to fess up.

“Everything okay back there?” I asked.

He ignored me. “This must arrive in pristine condition,” he told Zhee, setting the case on the counter.

“Of course,” Zhee said.

I had the tablet for him to sign for the pickup, and I held it out wordlessly. The guy snatched it out of my hands, holding it with one pincher arm and typing with the little wrist fingers on his other. His antennae were scowling.

Zhee gestured to the back room. “Is someone being disappointing?”

“Yes!” he snapped. ��One of the night workers has been coming out to the storefront, and leaving display items on the floor! And they refuse to admit who!” He shove the tablet back at me, waving at one of the aisles. Now that he mentioned it, there was an empty display case at the top, with the glass door swung wide.

“Foolish thing to do,” Zhee said.

“Extremely! There is no reason for it, and we are going to find out who!”

Since he was ranting at Zhee and not me, I stepped over to where I could see better. A half-dozen glittery arm cuffs were arranged in a circle on the floor. Weird.

He kept going. “I’m sure it was a human, because of those filthy little marks they leave on everything they touch. The only reason we employ them in the crafting sector is because all the items are cleaned before they’re presented to paying customers. The only one who works up front is under strict orders to wear gloves at all times. But now one of them is sneaking out here and fondling the merchandise! And leaving it on the floor!”

I took a closer look at the door to the display case. Yeah, those looked like human fingerprints, lit up guiltily by the morning sun.

Zhee asked, “Any clues about which human it is?”

“No. I’m not even ruling out the one with the gloves, because this behavior makes no sense, and gloves can be taken off. I swear, I’m this close to firing the lot of them.”

I walked back over to join them. “You know every human’s fingerprint is different, right?”

They both looked at me in silence, which was answer enough.

I said, “If you have your employees all leave prints on something else, you should be able to just match them up.”

The shopkeep’s antennae and mandibles flared into a complicated shape. “WHAT.”

“Sure.” I looked at my own fingers. “Mine are a kind of oval loop, though some people have perfect spirals or a gentle wave.”

He clacked both pinchers. “And you would be able to say which one matches those marks?”

“I should be,” I said, hurrying back over for a closer look. “At the very least, I can narrow it down for you. These are nice and clear. We just need to get a clean set from everybody else that’s not smudged.”

“Yes.” He looked around the storefront full of shiny, valuable things. He frowned. “We’ll have to let them touch something.”

I looked too. “Oh! What about the window?”

He stared at it for a moment. “Acceptable.”

Zhee was skeptical. “Will the culprit deliberately smear their marks?”

“Then that will be a sign of guilt,” the shopkeep hissed.

“What if there are multiple smudges from clumsiness? You might want to prepare for more than one round of dirtying your window.”

He hissed again. “I will make them do it right the first time.”

I had an idea. “What if you told them they were touching the window for a different reason?”

Both sets of bug eye turned toward me. “Such as?”

I fished the pack of heat stickers out of my bag. “Do you think they know what these are?”

The shopkeep leaned his head forward. “What are they?”

“Heat stickers. But! We could pretend they’re lie detectors.”

We could, and we did. It was a silly way to get fingerprints, but I’d read about fictional detectives who’d gone to more elaborate lengths to solve a mystery than this. And it might even work.

The big front windows had a row of shelves under them that meant our suspects would have to lean forward slightly in order to whisper their statements of innocence. They would need to press their hands against the window for balance.

I let Zhee pretend to be the visiting expert while I stuck heat stickers to the window. He did a good job of acting mysterious and aloof while he explained things to the gaggle of employees that the other Mesmer herded out.

As promised, only some were humans. The others were Strongarms with a couple Waterwills. No Heatseekers ready to ask awkward questions about the suspiciously familiar looking “lie detectors made for banks.”

(They had to be mounted somewhere stable, you see, and the suspect had to be close enough to breathe on them. They were normally warm, and would change colors and turn cold when they detected lies. Totally believable.)

Really, it didn’t matter if they believed it or not. They all lined up, looking baffled, and did as their two hissing bosses commanded. The Mesmer from the back room, a large green-and-brown lady who would have been great at hide and seek in the forests of my home, told the humans to go first.

Then when they had all left prints on the window, she told the rest not to bother. While they looked even more confused, she waved me forward with the door to the display case. It had detached neatly, perfect for carrying around and comparing fingerprints.

I held it by the corners and took a close look at the first set. “Not this one,” I announced. “Too triangular.”

Behind me, a human woman asked incredulously, “Are you checking fingerprints?”

“Yup!” I told her, moving on to the next.

The other humans had a variety of reactions to that. An older guy laughed, a younger woman was worried that her hands might be dirty with crafting materials, and others made indistinct noises. Some of the non-human employees asked for an explanation of what was happening.

I kept up my sleuthing, hoping that the prints were all as different as the first couple. I didn’t want to look like I didn’t actually know what I was doing.

“OH MY GOD,” a guy burst out. “It was a marriage proposal, okay? I thought Sierra would be the one to find it.”

I turned around at that, and found one of the humans spilling the beans.

“I’m sorry I didn’t just ask you,” he said to the woman next to him. “I wanted it to be special, like the rock circles we used to leave each other under the tree. I put a note at the top of the earring display, because it looks like a tree.”

I looked at the display he pointed at. I couldn’t see a note from here, but it was distinctly tree-shaped.

The two Mesmer bosses loomed over the guy. “This was courtship?” asked the tall one. “Not a deliberate effort to let our valuables get stepped on or stolen?”

“No!” the guy said. “I’d never do that! I really thought she’d be the only one to see it in the morning, and she’d just put them back and find my note.”

The woman, Sierra, shook her head. “I got moved to the adhesives section. I haven’t been over here all week.”

The man put his hands over his face while the bosses conferred.

“If you promise to never tamper with the displays again, you may keep your job,” the tall one told him.

“I’ll never do it again,” he said. “I don’t have to — I think?” That last was aimed at Sierra.

Her answer was a dramatic kiss that made the rest of the humans applaud and the Mesmers step back in distaste.

“If you are quite done eating each other’s faces,” said the smaller Mesmer, “You are both assigned to cleaning the window and the display of all traces of human filth. Do not leave more.”

“Yes sir,” they chorused.

The other humans gave them congratulatory pats on the back, and exclamations of relief that the whole mess was over. The non-humans seemed mostly relieved. A couple still looked confused, but clearly didn’t want to ask for details.

I handed over the display case door, then peeled a heat sticker off the window. “Guess we won’t need these anymore.”

Everybody went back to what they were supposed to be doing. The night shift got their things together to go home, while the day shift took over the crafting section and opened the store for business. More lights came on. Someone unlocked the front door. Zhee convinced the bosses to reimburse us for the heat stickers. That was nice; I still had more in the pack. And these would be warm for a while still.

I peeled off the last one and decided against putting them in the waterbag. No good making the thing evaporate on the way back to the ship. Instead, I stuck a finger between each and got a fistful of stickers held by their edges. My hand was only a little hot, and it would be a short walk. Speaking of which…

“Let’s go,” Zhee said, pincher arms full of the shipping case.

I opened the door and held it while he passed. Taking up my position at the window was the happy couple, equipped with their own window-cleaning supplies. Luckily they wouldn’t have to reach as far up as the Strongarms had.

They were talking quietly about finding new jobs where they could have the same sleep schedule. And hopefully bosses that didn’t mind a fingerprint or two.

I smiled and let the door shut, leaving fingerprints only on the handle.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).