#maybe they just get one every couple hundred years or so and at this point they figure

[calypsolemon]

now that I think about it, its kind of surprising that none of the gems really reacted with concern over the presence of the red eye waaaaaaay back in s1. I mean, maybe just because its purpose hadn't been established by the crew yet, but they all act pretty blasé about its presence despite it potentially indicating homeworld taking a renewed interest in the earth? It makes me wonder if the cg's have been dealing semi-regularly with devices like this sent from homeworld? That would make some sense if the cluster has been cooking in the ground since the war.

[mattyriddlegf]

New Year's Kiss - MR

Happy new years everyone! 2024 gave me so much to be grateful as I started my writing journey here and I cannot wait to see what 2025 brings. Thank you all for all of your support <3

Summary: you miss Mattheo on New Years Eve after a fight between the two of you creates animosity

warnings: suggestive content

word count: ~1k

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It’s New Year's Eve at Hogwarts, the whole castle buzzing with excitement. Students in every house had agreed to be in on the castle party, creating one of the biggest and best kept secrets from professors in recent history.

The room of requirement has been transformed into a large banquet room, ready to host over a hundred kids or more. The drinks have been spiked and the music was blasting, bodies standing all over the place.

You would actually quite enjoy this setting if it weren’t for the fact that you and Mattheo had gotten into a huge fight a few days ago and haven’t made up yet. It was over a stupid topic but both your and Mattheo’s egos have gotten in the way, forcing the two of you to go into the silent treatment with each other.

‘You’re stupid if you think he was just trying to be nice and help you out. He obviously wanted in your pants.’

‘Oh that’s really mature of you Mattheo. Congratulations on being an asshole.’

‘Fuck you.’

‘Yeah well fuck you too.’

The argument replays in your head. Both of you knew how to get under each other’s skin and when you’re mad, your words shoot to kill; the same goes for Mattheo.

You stand alone in the corner in the room sipping on your drink, observing everybody around you. To no surprise, Mattheo hasn’t shown yet. He wasn’t one to like parties, especially not alone so him not showing up made a lot of sense. A small part of you, the part that wasn’t mad at him anymore, kept looking at the door hoping to see him enter.

This would be the third new year of your and Mattheo’s relationship and the previous two years had been spent together, kissing at midnight and separating from the rest of the group afterwards to ring in the new year properly…

“Hey, you doing ok?” Pansy asks, walking up to you and snapping you back to reality. You hadn’t wanted to come to the party either but she had convinced you otherwise, practically begging you to come.

“I’m fine.” you respond quickly, “seriously, go have fun.”

“You miss him don’t you?” she smirks slightly. She was the number one fan of the relationship you and Mattheo had, she knew all of the stuff you had been through together and was genuinely your number one supporter.

You tilt your head, “what makes you say that?”

“sweetie, you wouldn’t be able to fool anyone right now, let alone me.” she laughs, “just admit it…”

You purse your lips, “maybe just a little…”

“Go be with him…you know you want to.” she shrugs, sipping the drink in her hand.

“I don’t know…” you shake your head, “either way, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me!”

She glances between your eyes, looking suspicious before speaking up, “alright fine but I will get you on that dance floor at some point tonight...if you’re still here later”

“Sure thing, I can’t wait.” you smile fakely. You check your watch, 11:42pm, “it’s almost time, you better go find a guy to kiss”

“Oh trust me, I have my eyes on someone already” she smirks and starts walking away.

“Take it easy on Draco” you say louder than normal. She flips her middle finger at you before she disappears back into the crowd.

You slowly make your way over to the liquor table, refilling your drink as you notice a couple, both Ravenclaw’s, across the room. They were standing close to each other, the guy with his arms wrapped around the girl’s back and her arms hanging around his neck as they gently sway to the loud party music in the background.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach was nagging at you, eating away at your pride. Who even cared if you were right in your argument with Mattheo? Now, it seemed like it doesn’t even matter anymore, you just wanted him.

You move your glance over to Theo across the room, who is making out with his new girlfriend. You watch for a few more seconds before looking back down at the watch on your wrist, now reading 11:49pm. Eleven minutes until the New Year and Mattheo was nowhere in sight.

Your heart aches, wanting your love by your side. The mixture of sounds from the party were suddenly hurting your ears.

You set down your full drink on the table before walking out, leaving behind the party. You didn’t want to be there anymore.

You walk through the empty castle, heading straight for the astronomy tower. You know Mattheo will be there without a doubt.

When you reach the top of the tower, the freezing air hits you like a ton of bricks but you see Mattheo leaning on the railing, staring out onto the grounds.

“Hi” you breathe out, just standing there.

Mattheo instantly turns around to face you, “hi.”

You walk up slowly, “it’s cold out here…”

“Weren’t you at the party?” he interrupts, asking you with furrowed eyebrows.

“I didn’t want to be there…not without you.”

He doesn’t respond but looks you up and down and nods.

“The truth is that I don’t even know what we fought about anymore. I just-” you hesitate before continuing, “I love you.”

A smile slowly creeps onto Mattheo’s face. You walk up to him until you’re just inches away from him, the heat of his body begging to touch you.

“You couldn’t even make it one New Year’s kiss without me, could you?” he smirks, wrapping his arms around you and resting his hands on your lower back.

He glances at your watch as your hand rests on his chest, “its almost midnight…” he coos.

“Oh?” you ask sarcastically, “what’s so special about midnight?”

“This…” he trails off as he connects his lips with yours, everything else in the world instantly disappearing.

You hear fireworks going off in the distance, likely from the Weasley twins. You laugh into the kiss before pulling away, “happy new year my love”

“Happy new year mi amor” he responds as he grabs your chin before connecting lips again, your tongues dancing together.

You had started the new year just how you wanted to…with the love of your life.

[brucewaynehater101]

Hear me out for something. So we agree that Tim definitely took a bunch of Ras ninjas when he blew up the place right? And they're *super* loyal to him and also very, very competent.

What if when Tim brings Bruce back from the Time Stream, once Bruce is healed up, he insists on taking over WE from Tim. Not because Tim is bad at it, but because he doesn't want to sit around doing nothing while he physically heals and isn't allowed to be Batman.

So Tim decides to use the money he made to revive Drake Industries. He'll need a bunch of very loyal workers who know how math works to fill out upper management to make sure there isn't any corruption and wouldn't you know it. He has a couple hundred of exactly what he needs stolen from ras who are getting antsy about not having anything to do.

It only takes a year, maybe two at the most, for Drake Industries to raise to rivaling Wayne Enterprises and Lex Corp like it used to before Tim's parents died. There are rumors though, that it's impossible to rise beyond a certain point in the company as all those positions are filled already and if a new one opens, it's given to someone that no one has ever heard of before (more defectors from Ras). All the people on the board are weirdly young (is that Olympic Gold Winner Cissie King Jones???) And one of them just had a big scandal go public about being Lex Luthor's illegitimate son that he kicked out for being gay?? This is not at all what happened with Kon, and Lex has been trying to calm the rumor mill around it but the gossip collums have taken this and ran with it.

You would think that with a board of directors so young and a company so new that's so big, corporate espionage on them would be *easy* but that's to the fact that every single member of upper management would die for Tim, none of it happens. His company is massive and air tight. People who try to bribe his workers into selling secrets often end up in strange accidents. After all, you can take the person out of the Ninja Death Cult, but you can't take the Ninja Death Cult out of the person.

Yes! There is a series not quite like this, but dear to me. "Where Bats and Birds Roost" by Mouse_in_this_house has BAMF Tim Drake with ex-LoA agent spy network that he hides via the Neon Knights initiative.

However, I love that your AU had Tim make it from the corpse of his parents' company. Instead of using Bruce's resources, Tim used the ones that only belong to him. I also like his rehabilitation plans for all the defectors and their loyalty to him because of it.

Tim should go around snatching up people from his enemies because he has better benefits, way less chance of the job killing its employees, and charisma. Maybe Bruce gets a little annoyed cause WE employees also prefer to work at Drake Industries (probably not, but it would be funny).

Also, YJ working for DI? Brilliant ^^

This type of chaos and the BAMF Tim are spices I need more of. Let Tim use his whacky ability to befriend his enemies for his benefit!

[taojjang]

𐙚 under the mistletoe with riize ★ .ᐟ

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ advent calendar, day five! pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff, warnings: pure love and affection!

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♡⸝⸝ sharing a kiss of bliss beneath the mistletoe

shotaro . . .

taro doesn't know much about superstitions. whenever you scold him for splitting the pole, he'd always look at you with confused puppy eyes wondering what he did wrong :( so when he found out about the mistletoe superstition through a random article, he didn't waste a second before purchasing one.

you came home from work and stopped in your tracks. you looked up and saw a little mistletoe hanging at the entrance. "taro baby, what's this?" taro skips over to you, beaming from ear to ear. "a mistletoe! do you know what you're supposed to do now?" your heart melted into a puddle of adoration as taro waited patiently for his hard earned kiss. you cup his cheeks in your palms and tenderly kiss his lips. before you could pull away, taro rested his hands atop yours and leaned deeper into your lips. taro could never get enough of you.

eunseok . . .

similar to taro, eunseok knows nothing about modern superstitions. he simply doesn't pay any mind to trivial matters like those. but he can't help himself when you excitedly teach him about the mistletoe tradition.

eunseok took you out on a date to see a pretty christmas festival, where you discovered a small mistletoe hanging from the entrance. "seok! we have to kiss!" you enthused. eunseok looked down at you with a smile creeping onto his face. though confused, he gave you a light peck on the lips before asking, "what's the matter?" you looked up and pointed to the small plant hanging above your heads. "it's a mistletoe; we have to kiss every time we're under this or else we won't get married!" eunseok felt his heart melt at the purity in your voice. he flashed a smile at you before taking your face into his hands and giving you a proper kiss. "you don't have to worry about that, darling."

sungchan . . .

sungchan is a traditional boyfriend— he'd never let you miss a special holiday or a couple's tradition. small things like hundred-day celebrations or having weekend dates mean the world to him. the holiday season is never dull between you! sungchan always plans so many dates around christmas time because he truly believes that the holidays are meant to be spent with the person you love most. and of course, he'll show you how much he truly adores you.

this silly guy would keep a pocket mistletoe with him at all times. the first time he used it was when you were in the kitchen brewing tea when sungchan trapped you between him and the counter. you put the mug down and turn to face him. "what's up, baby?" you ask, staring up at him. without a word, sungchan lifts a tiny mistletoe above your head. you laugh before giving him his hard earned kiss. "you're so annoying, chan."

wonbin . . .

wonbin gets shy when it comes to initiating affection. as much as he loves your kisses, he feels ashamed to ask for them. he's just a shy boy :( but he knows you could never know what he wants until he takes action.

you were lying on your bed when wonbin sat beside you and handed you his phone. he wanted to show you this tiktok he saw about the mistletoe superstitions. "maybe.. we could put one up somewhere? i think it's nice." you laughed and looked up at him, teasing, "what? do you wanna kiss me that badly?" wonbin sighed in defeat and lied beside you, groaning, "nevermind.." his pout didn't last for long before you left a long kiss on his lips. "do you want me to order one online for you?" wonbin's eyes lit up as he nodded with blushing approval.

seunghan . . .

seunghan is truly the cutest bf ever :( by researching cute couple things, he found his love for silly little traditions. he loves ones like kissing on new year's day! so of course he'll practically live under a mistletoe for the rest of winter.

once he learned about the mistletoe superstitions, he already added tons of them to his online shopping cart. he found this superstition so adorable, yearning to tell you all about his new discovery. so when you came home from work one random tuesday, your eyes widened in surprise as you saw tons of little mistletoes hanging from each doorway. "seunghan baby, what's this?" hearing your voice, he immediately rushed to you and peppered your face with kisses. "they're mistletoes! apparently if you kiss under these, you're destined to get married~" your silly boyfriend left another kiss on your lips before taking your hand and leading you to each and every mistletoe, kissing you underneath all of them.

sohee . . .

sohee is not the most affectionate person. he loves how clingy and sweet you are, but he can't initiate things like kisses or holding hands. but suddenly, at your friends party, he decided to change.

you were walking around and talking with your friends when sohee suddenly stood in front of you. "oh, hi pretty boy! w-" your words were blocked by the sudden crash of sohee's lips on yours. he gently held your face in his hands and deepened the kiss. you felt your cheeks flush pink as he pulled away. "what was that for..?" you question, still shocked by the sudden contact. sohee's eyes glanced behind you before he spoke softly, "i heard you're supposed to kiss when you're under this thing." you looked up at the mistletoe and laughed, realizing your friend was standing behind you. "did you kiss me before anyone else could?" "ah, don't dig too deep, y/n."

anton . . .

anton is as affectionate as a puppy: he can't go minutes without planting a kiss somewhere on your body. you're so used to his affection that you're often multitasking, patting his head while he lies on your lap watching you do your homework. anton is always showering you with love, so of course it'll make his day if you did the same.

you decided to surprise anton with a cute little mistletoe you found at the store <3 you hung it from your bedroom doorframe and quickly called anton over. as soon as he reached the door, he melted into laughter. before speaking, he walked to you with open arms and left a tender kiss on your lips, following it with a second peck on the forehead. "you're so cute, my love!"

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⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ tag list! (ask or comment to be added!)

@endtostartbreathin @gacktsa @hanninova @ramyeonzprincess

[enthusiasticharry]

the one where YN is no longer the governess to Harry's children, but she is his wife (part 2)

READ PART 1 HERE

author's note: part two of governess!yn (who is still my lil angel baby I cannot lie!) this took slightly longer than anticipated to get to you but i hope you will be happy with the final result! pls let me know what you think, and if there's anything else you'd like to see of these two (i'm certainly not ready to let them go just yet!)

word count: 14.1k of confusion, a lack of communication, friends to lovers, a meddling modiste who we all love, smut, pregnancy.

WARNINGS: discussion of death during childbirth, struggles with infertility (you have been warned)

let me know what you think of edelweiss here! mwah <3

YEAR FIVE

YN’s life had changed in ways that she never could have expected when she became a wife.

YN had never had an example of what a good marriage looked like growing up, and whilst she had worked for couples in the past – nothing could prepare her for the reality. The fact that her life had changed drastically from zero to one hundred within a few days was something that nobody could have prepared her for. It had been a true shift in the motion of her life, and even though it pained her to say – she did not know whether or not this was a welcome addition to her life.

Their wedding day had been a year ago. It took place in early June, which seemed very apt to their relationship. The first time that YN had joined Harry and the children for meals had been in June, and the summer held a very special place in their friendship – relationship? In all honesty, she did not know whether or not their marriage at this point was one of convenience or one that truly meant that something was between them.

As YN did not have a mother to talk her through life as a married woman, she was thankful for the information that she had managed to retain on her own in her life. Miss Francis had sat her down the day before her wedding and attempted to explain what a wedding night included, but YN had put a stop to that conversation immediately and tried to continue to assure the older woman that she knew what was to happen.

Even though YN knew what was to occur on the wedding night, it did not necessarily mean that the act would occur on the said night.

Harry had never attempted to initiate anything of an intimate context between the two of them. The last and only time that they had ever kissed had been on their wedding day, a necessity to ensure that their marriage was fulfilled. Even once they had returned home, she had received no advancements from Harry at all – and had concluded pretty quickly that maybe he did not wish to share this with her. YN knew that this was not completely shocking, seeing as though she was Harry’s second wife, and he had already experienced this before.

There was also a part of her that knew that men had needs. She had come to this conclusion pretty quickly after the husband at the other house she worked at left every night without fail to meet with his mistress (or mistresses, as YN had no idea about the fine details) and yet she could state with full confidence that Harry had never done so. She knew this with such confidence because they spent every evening together (with a considerable amount of space between the two of them obviously) before they retired to bed.

YN would be lying if she said that she had hoped that her marriage to Harry would offer some clarification on what it was she was feeling. She had spent so long denying her wish for marriage, and she thought that once that wish had been fulfilled everything would be put into some sort of perspective for her. Instead, it had confused and worried her more than it had before. The overwhelming, thought-provoking idea that ran through her head most days was that Harry had married YN just to appease her, to be a good friend and that was it. It made her think that Harry (no matter how many times he verbally denied it to her) did not wish for this.

It was not as though Harry required an heir to his estate – he already had one. That normally looming requirement of marriage was gone for him. YN was three and thirty now, and that could offer little in security as to whether she could have children, and with that gone she could not understand why Harry wanted to marry her. If anything, the only reason a man in Harry’s standing would marry was to ease a loneliness he had.

At first, Noah and Honorah had been confused as to why YN was no longer their governess, and instead their mother. YN had assured both of the children immediately that she could never take away their mother from them, and if they wished to continue to call her Miss YN, they could do so without any worries at all. Noah, who stood at ten when they married had huffed and refused to speak to his father or YN for the first few weeks (something that was inherently a trait of Harry’s, but YN would never outwardly tell him that). Norah, however, had only been seven at the time and saw the whole spectacle as something so exciting and had welcomed the change with open arms. YN assumed that since she had never met her mother, YN had been the closest thing to one for her – and she assumed that would be something difficult for both Harry and Noah to accept.

Even though these questions of intimacy usually loomed in the back of YN’s mind most days, along with questions of how the children were faring with the change. But, thankfully, her ole had changed within the household, and she now had duties as Mrs Styles that often took her attention throughout most of the day. The most prevalent job that took up most of her time now involved the children, and more specifically – finding a new governess for them.

To the blind eye, the task on the surface seemed so simple – but in reality, it was not. In the past year, the children (predominantly Noah) had managed to run four governesses out of the door – with the longest of them lasting two and a half weeks.

That was how YN had found herself now – sitting in the drawing room with the fifth governess she had hired who had lasted all of three days.

“… I am sorry, Mrs Styles, but they are terrors. The little boy placed a frog not only on my chair but in every drawer of my desk! And the little girl, well, she listens to everything the boy says and responds to all of my questions by ribbiting like a frog! They are completely unteachable!” Miss Morris exclaims, and YN has to physically refrain herself from rolling her eyes.

“And yet I managed to do it for four years,” YN mumbled quietly whilst running her finger across her eyebrow.

Miss Morris leant forward slightly in her seat, turning her ear towards YN, “Sorry, what was that Mrs Styles?”

“Nothing,” YN shook her head, offering a small smile to Miss Morris, “I do just have to remind you, Miss Morris, that they are children. They are not going to be easy to work with. Mr Styles has raised gorgeous, inquisitive and at times mischievous children – but they are no worse than any you may find with another family.”

Miss Morris shook her head, rather violently at that, “You are only saying such as they are your children – you see them through rose-tinted glasses. They are nothing but terrors, unteachable terrors!”

YN sighed before standing up, nodding at Miss Morris to do the same, “Very well then, Miss Morris. If you had not already claimed that you could not teach the children, you would lose your employment just by calling them terrors. You may have the night to arrange your leave, but you shall not interact with the children.”

Miss Morris opened her mouth as though she was to speak but YN shook her head.

“I would not say anything else if I were you,” YN spoke with a nod.

Miss Morris took one last look at YN, nodded, and turned to leave the room. It was not until YN knew that she was in the all-clear that she sighed and dropped back down on the settee again, exhaling a breath that she did not know she had been holding.

The list of once four failed governesses had now turned to five. Somewhere deep down YN knew this would be the case. It was not that she was necessarily full of herself, but more so that she knew she was the best of the best in terms of governesses. No matter who she presented in front of the children, and whether or not they were good governesses or not – they would never be able to help the children in the way that she did. That was the dilemma that YN found herself in day after day.

The sound of footsteps walking towards the room, and subsequently entering knocked YN right out of her daydream, or potentially it was a crisis – she would never know.

“I think Miss Morris just grunted at me,” Harry spoke, pointing back at the door with a confused look on his face.

YN sighed once more, running a hand across her face, “She can grunt all she wants, Harry! She is out of this house by morning.”

“Oh,” Harry sighed, dropping down on the settee across from her, “She quit?”

YN shrugged her shoulders slightly, “And I fired her. She dared to call the children terrors. Terrors, Harry! I was a moment away from doing something so regrettable I probably would have been sent away!”

Harry laughed with a slight shake of his head, “I told you there was no use in trying to find a new governess.”

“The children still need to be taught, Harry,” YN pointed out, as though she was stating the obvious.

“And you can do it,” Harry shrugged, as though he was the one stating the most obvious thing in the world, “I know that is not necessarily the way that things are done, but when have we ever done things that way?”

A smile taunted on YN’s face, “You would not mind? Having a wife that does not follow the correct rules of society?”

Harry just laughed, “If I cared about the correct rules in society then you would not be my wife.”

YN finally smiled and nodded her head, “I will teach them – God knows that nobody will ever be as good as me.”

“That is certainly more like it,” Harry nodded his head and stood up, “I did have something to tell you before Miss Morris grunted at me. I am going out tonight, a friend of mine is back from a trip abroad. We are meeting at the tavern for a few drinks.”

“Oh,” YN’s heart pummelled to the pit of her stomach, “The tavern?”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “Yes. Is that going to be a problem?”

“No,” YN assured quickly, trying her best to not make the twist in her stomach obvious to Harry, “I hope you have a lovely time.”

Harry nodded, the confused look returning to his features one last time before he offered her another smile and left the room. YN had seen the tavern but had never been inside. She had only ever seen it on her trips into the village. She also knew of its reputation, although she would not say that she wanted to. Those back rooms, and what they held were the thing that concerned her, she supposed.

More than anything, it turned her stomach so much she was unsure how she did not throw up. 

No matter how much she tried, YN could not sleep a wink.

The children had gone to bed hours ago, and surprisingly (to YN’s relief) without any stress. Her body, however, could not accept that relief due to how stressed she was currently feeling.

YN had tried counting sheep, and she had tried running through everything she had planned for tomorrow in her head, but she just could not shake the thoughts out of her head.

She could not shake the thoughts out of her head of everything that Harry was getting up to during his visit to the tavern.

Before, when YN knew that Harry was inside the four walls of this house and could therefore not be doing the things that YN was imagining in her head – there was no cause for her to worry. It was all fine before because she knew that whilst he was not being intimate with her, he was not with anyone else.

YN could not say that now because she did not know if it was true.

It was something that the two of them never spoke about – they never mentioned it. They both danced around the subject as though it was an open flame, neither one of them attempting to get closer to it. YN was truly regretting that now. At least if they had the conversation, if she had forced them to discuss this then she would have some peace of mind at least. Then again, she cannot imagine knowing he was doing such things would offer her any piece of mind.

After failing to succumb to sleep, YN had ended up wrapping herself in a blanket in Harry’s study, one of his books pressed firmly in her hand. She would say that she was reading it, but she had read the last sentence around twenty times and still not managed to finish it.

Then the door opened.

Harry’s head was lulled forward, his posture slightly hunched and his movements sporadic. He was drunk. Without even thinking about it, her eyes danced around his body attempting to see if there were any creases in his clothes that had not been there before he left. 

There was not, and for the first time that entire evening her heart slowed down to a normal pace.

“I saw the light,” He offered her a boyish grin, “I wondered who was sneaking around at this time – I should have known it was you.”

YN sighed in relief, dropping the book closed in her lap, “You are drunk.”

Harry nodded, not even trying to attempt to hide it. His body stumbled towards the other end of the settee from where she was. YN lifted her hand to her head when she watched him nearly fall off, but he caught himself thankfully before there was any need for her to intervene.

“Have I ever told you that you just might be the smartest person I have ever known?” He raised his eyebrow at her, a teasing look on his face.

YN gasped, immediately picking up the book in her lap to smack him on the shoulder with, “I should have known you were such a tease whilst drunk.”

Harry began to laugh, and no matter how much YN tried to resist it she could not help but join in. YN thought that she had seen all the sides to Harry, and yet there were ones that she was learning about every day.

“How was reuniting with your friend?” YN asked, watching as his head lulled back against the settee, dropping to the side slightly so that he was looking at her, “I suppose that is possibly a silly question given the state you are currently in.”

Harry nodded his head, “It was very enjoyable, although I suppose his constant discussion of beaches across the world did need to be taken hand in hand with a drink the further into the night we were.”

YN laughed, “I cannot ever imagine you not being interested in a conversation, Harry.”

He shook his head, leaning towards her slightly, “I was interested! The first time! It was just my luck that every time William had a drink it was as though his memory was wiped and he did not know he had already told me all of it before!”

YN did end up in a fit of laughter at his words. There was an ounce or so of further relief that she felt in that laugh, knowing that the stress she had found herself in was for no reason. It was nice to know that he had not withheld the truth from her – even though she was damning herself for even thinking that he would lie to her.

“It sounds as though you had quite the eventful night, then,” YN leant forward to place the book on the table in front of them before standing up, “Are you able to get yourself to your bedchamber, or are you staying here for the night?”

Harry grunted slightly, his head rolling to the side slightly to look out of the window behind him.

“What was that?” YN pressed, inching a step closer towards him, “You will have to use your words, Harry, I do not speak in grunt.”

“I do not wish to go to bed,” Harry mumbled with a shake of his head, “I do not wish to go to bed because the bed will be cold, and empty and you will be down the hall.”

YN’s lips parted slightly in shock. She knew that Harry was drunk, and therefore his inhibitions were lowered but there must have still been an aspect to it that was the truth. There was a slight part of her that was slightly annoyed by his words. She was annoyed that it had taken him a year into their marriage, on a night when he was drunk to say anything of this sort to her.

YN shook her head, “Harry, you must go to bed and sleep this off.”

“No, we do not have to go to bed,” He reached out to grab her hands, pulling her closer to him, “We can stay here, and we can talk, and you can sit next to me.”

“We cannot,” YN shook her head, unable to stop the pull he had on her, “We must sleep, otherwise we will not get anything done tomorrow.”

“That is fine, YN, we can have a day.” Harry nodded his head, “We could… we could just… we could be together tonight and tomorrow, and it would not matter.”

YN sighs, and she attempts to take a step backwards, but Harry instead wraps his arm around her waist. He rests his head against her stomach, and she can feel the heat of his skin through the thin material of her nightgown. The feeling itself was like pinpricks across the expanse of her skin.

YN did not know what to do – she did not know what to think. Instead of trying to pull away from him (which was impossible due to how tightly he had wrapped himself around her), and against her better judgment – she gave in to him. This was the closest that they had physically been to each other since their wedding day, and she knew it was wrong but there was a part of her that did not want this to end just yet.

Instead of pulling away, her fingers found their way through his hair until they were resting in the curls at the nape of his neck.

He sighed against her stomach, causing heat to rush over her skin that she had never experienced in her life. If this is what she was missing out on, she was cursing herself for not forcing them to have a conversation. She supposed that Harry’s behaviour tonight had made it so they had no choice in the matter.

“Harry,” YN whispered, bringing her hands from the nape of his neck towards his cheeks so that she could pull his face away from her and look at him, “Let us go to bed.”

“No,” He shook his head again, “I told you; I do not want to.”

“Harry,” YN sighed, running her finger across the skin of his cheekbone, “You are not listening to me – let us go to bed.”

When YN woke up the next morning, everything felt different.

This was still her room. There were still her curtains hanging above the windows, her bed she was laid upon and still her books that rested upon every shelf in the room – but things were different.

YN often woke up when the light started to seep through the crack in her curtains, and today was no different. This time, however, she was not alone in doing so.

Her entire body felt warm. There was an excess of heat covering her from behind, an arm wrapped so tightly around her waist making it so even if she wanted to escape – there was no way in which she would be able to. Harry’s head pressed firmly into her neck, his steady breathing causing goosebumps to cover her entire body.

Last night, after Harry had finally registered the words that YN was saying – he had allowed her to direct him to her bedchamber. She had tried not to, but she had been unable to redirect her eyes when he had stripped off his jacket, shirt, and trousers before climbing into her bed. They did not talk, only looked at one another. They had settled into bed for the first time since their wedding day a year ago together, without a single conversation as to why between them. Harry had pulled YN’s body close to his, and they had fallen asleep – and that was it.  

YN knew that it was early in the morning, and Harry would probably need a few more hours or so to sleep off the remnants of last night – but there was no way that YN would manage to fall back asleep. YN tried to pull Harry’s arm off of her, but he grunted slightly, and his arm felt even tighter than it had done before.

YN sighed, unable to do anything but move slightly so that she was on her back and could face Harry. There was something so boyish about his features when he was asleep. It was as though all the stress of being an adult left him the second he was asleep, and YN felt a sort of privilege that she was able to witness him in this state.

It was this that caused YN to lift her hand and run her finger along the soft skin of his cheek – just in the way that she had done last night. Her body jumped slightly in his arms when his eyes opened. This was, in fact, the closest she had ever been to him – and the fact that she could see those green eyes of his looking so closely caused her stomach to somersault.

“It is too early,” He whispered hoarsely to her, “Go back to sleep.”

YN chuckled slightly, her fingers slipping back through his hair, “The children will be awake soon.”

“And we have a staff willing and ready to help with them,” He mumbled, dropping his head further into her neck, “Go back to sleep.”

YN lightly shook her head again, “Even if I tried, I highly doubt it would be possible. Even so, the children have missed out on so much learning these last few months – and I am excited to get them back into a classroom.”

“Another day is not going to harm them,” YN could feel Harry’s lips moving against her neck as he spoke, and then they closed, and he left the lightest of kisses on her skin.

“Harry…” YN whispered, her head pulling away from his slightly so that she could look into his eyes, “What are you doing?”

Harry sighed, his head lulling backwards so that he was laid on his back, just as she was. Whilst they needed to have this conversation, there was a part of her that wondered whether or not being laid in her bed, with Harry possibly having what YN would deem as a slightly delicate condition was the best place for this.

“I…” Harry sighed, lifting his hand to his forehead, “I do not know.”

YN’s breath caught slightly in her throat, “You do not know?”

“I do know, but I do not want to offend or upset you,” Harry sighs, turning his head so that he is looking at her again.

YN sighed, reaching out to grab Harry’s hand, “Whatever it is, you must tell me, Harry. I am your wife; you can tell me anything.”

Harry lifted their joint hands to his lips so that he could place a kiss on the back of her hand, “I understand that when we married, we did so for ease. It was the best thing for us both at that time, and I understand that you may not feel the same but…”

His words stopped, and his eyes dropped down to her lips, lingering for just a moment before they bounced back up to her eyes.

“I may not feel the same how, Harry?”

Harry hesitated for a second, “That I feel as though my affections for you have grown.”

“Harry…” YN whispered, shaking her head lightly, “You cannot… You cannot say such words to me if you do not mean it…”

“I do,” Harry nodded, “I do mean it. I have meant it for a while now, but I never dared to say so. It seemed that all I needed was some liquid courage, and I could not stop myself.”

YN chuckled, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his, “You should not have been scared to speak your mind, Harry.”

“What?” He whispered.

“You should not have been scared to speak your mind because then you would have found out that I feel the same.”

Harry’s face broke out into a smile, and it was quickly after that YN’s followed. He lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing her hair away from her face. It was then that her heart rate began to speed up – when his face started itching closer to hers. Just as she thought that Harry was going to place his lips against hers, the door to YN’s room burst open.

YN pulled her body away from Harry’s, lifting slightly to see Honorah bouncing towards them – still in her nightgown and having obviously just woken up.

“What is it, Norah?” YN smiled at the little girl, watching as she pulled herself up onto YN’s bed.

“I went to Papa’s room, but he was not there, so I came here to find you and I found Papa too!” The little girl smiled, crawling up the bed so that she could drop down between YN and Harry at the top.

“You found us,” Harry mumbled, pressing a kiss to the top of his little girl’s head as she cuddled up to him, “How did you sleep?”

Honorah nodded her head, “Very well. I dreamt of horses, and I have decided I quite like them.”

YN chuckled, “That sounds lovely, Norah. We shall have to take you to the stables at some point to visit the horses.”

“Really?” Her entire face broke out into a beaming smile, and she began to tell her father all about the horse in her dream.

As much as it had pained her to admit it before, this is exactly what YN had imagined mornings being married to Harry would be like. Lazing in bed with him, before being interrupted by the children and forcing them to begin their day sounding like complete and utter bliss. YN’s could not have been fuller than it was right now, but then she slowly realised that was not the case when the final part of the puzzle walked through the door.

“Good morning, Noah,” YN smiled, holding her hand out to the boy, “Norah was just telling us about her dream, do you wish to join us?”

The boy seemed to hesitate for a second before nodding, reaching out to grab YN’s hand and make his way onto the bed.

“Only for a little while, though,” He nodded with a shrug, “I am ready to break my fast.”

YN laughed, watching as Noah joined Harry and Norah in their conversation. To YN, it was at this moment that she truly felt as though she was a wife. That she was Harry’s wife.

YEAR SIX

Just as YN thought that one part of the puzzle that was her life had been laid to rest, another part reared its head to her.

YN wished for children.

Just as it was with the idea of marriage, in the past, she had been fine with pushing that thought out of her head and coming to terms with the fact that it was just not her fate. When she thought she was to spend her days as nothing more than a governess, the mere thought of children of her own was laughable.

Now that she was a wife, it was no longer laughable – and she wanted more.

YN knew how children were conceived, and she knew that with the amount that YN and Harry had been doing that act, there was a chance that she could be pregnant, and yet (just as it had been before) neither one spoke of it. YN was beginning to be infuriated by it.

“You know,” Harry spoke from the side of her as they lay in his bed, “To read a book, you have to look at the words on the page.”

YN had not even noticed that she had stopped reading the book she had in her hand and instead was staring above the words and at the rest of the room. YN sighed and closed the book, dropping it down with a slight thud on the bedside table next to her.

“I guess I am just not in the mood to read,” YN sighed, slipping down so that her head was on the pillow, and she could bring the covers up and over her body.

“That is not like you,” Harry turned to face her, a slight smirk settling over his features, “Are you in the mood for something else?”  

YN rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, “Of course you would think that. No, Harry, I am just not in the mood to read.”  

“Since when can a book not capture your attention?” He reached over and placed a finger upon her cheek, lighting and tapping the skin so she would turn and face him, “Some may say I can read you like a book… what is wrong?”

YN turned upon her side, slipping her arm underneath her head as she stared at Harry, those eyes of his offering her an ounce of comfort at a time in which her mind was filled with different thoughts.

“Do you ever… do you ever think about having another child? With me?”

Harry went silent, his eyes squinting slightly before he turned away from YN. Her heart dropped and the comfort that had been there immediately disappeared the second that his eyes were not on her.

“I… I do not know,” Harry spoke after a second or so.

YN’s breath caught slightly, “You do not know?”

“I do not know,” Harry slightly tipped his head at her, “I have not ever thought about it.”

YN turned once more so that she was facing the ceiling, not wanting his face to be in her eyeline anymore. Whilst she had spent days, maybe even weeks or possibly months thinking upon this topic, imagining all of the possibilities of how this conversation would take place – she had never allowed herself to think upon this as one of them.

She supposed in part that was her fault – for allowing her thoughts to run away with her without any true evidence.

“I am sorry, I should not have brought the topic up,” YN spoke after a few minutes or so, before deciding that it was probably time to leave it altogether. She quickly pulled the covers off her, “I shall retire to my room tonight, I think.”  

“No,” Harry reached to grab her hand before she could stand up, “You do not have to do that.”

YN shook her head and pulled her hand out of his, “I just wish for a moment alone.”

YN stood up, reaching over for her gown to wrap around her body. She turned and saw Harry still lying in bed, this time with his hand over his face. It did not seem as though he was going to say anything, so she took that as her cue to leave the room.

Just as YN was about to reach for the door handle, Harry stopped her, “I cannot see you go through that.”

YN stopped her movements and turned to face him, “What?”

“I have witnessed first-hand what pregnancy can do to a woman,” Harry sat up, pulling the covers off his body, and moving towards the edge of the bed, “I cannot… I will not let you go through that.”

It all made sense to her now. The reason Harry had never even thought about it. She was ashamed of herself that she had not even thought of it. He had lost his first wife during childbirth, and he was afraid of the same for her.

“Harry…” YN took a step closer to him, watching as his slightly glassy eyes met hers.

“I know that you love the children, you truly do,” Harry spoke, “Are they not enough?”

YN was slightly taken aback by that question, and in turn, she ended up taking a step away from him, “I cannot believe you would say such a thing.”

Harry sighed, his head dropping forward slightly as he rested his hands upon his knees, “I am only saying what is the truth.”

“No, what you are saying is an excuse – what you are saying is nothing more than offensive,” YN shook her head, “I understand your worries, Harry, I truly do but what I cannot understand is you ever saying that Noah and Honorah are not enough for me!”

Harry sighed, his eyes failing to meet hers, “I apologise, YN, I should have never said such things.”

“No,” YN quickly retorted, “You should not have said such things, and yet you have! I only wished to discuss the topic with you Harry and I would never do a thing that you do not wish to do.”

Harry nodded, finally meeting her eyes again, “I understand, I apologise again.”

“We share the love of two beautiful children, Harry,” YN sighed, unable to comprehend why she was even having to explain the love she held for the children, “I apologise for wanting to just share our love in a child of our own.”

Harry gasped, and YN was shocked herself that those words had left her lips. Whilst YN had felt that feeling, love, for Harry for longer than she could put a timeline on – they had never said those words. If the conversation surrounding children had not caused animosity between the two of them, she worried if he did not return the favour that this certainly would. It was their cycle, one that no matter how much they attempted to change – YN feared they never would.

Harry did not say anything, and instead stood up and walked towards her. YN worried as to what it could be that he would say to her, or if he would indeed just walk past her altogether. Instead, he reached for her hands.

“Of course, I wish that we could share… share our love with a child but…” Harry shook his head, “I cannot lose you, YN. I love you too much. I need you too much. I fear, well, I would not be able to go on if anything were to happen to you.”

YN just sighed, taking a step forward to wrap her arms around his waist, her head falling upon his bare chest, “You will not lose me, Harry.”

“You do not know that,” He muttered against her hairline, “You cannot promise me that.”

“I know I cannot,” YN pulled away, looking up at those green eyes of his, “But… your fear, Harry, and whilst I am not diminishing it could also not be the case.”

Harry sighed, “I love you so much, YN.”

“Then, please,” YN rested her hand upon his cheek, “Think about it.”

Harry leaned down, placing the lightest of kisses upon her lips, “For you… I will.”

After quite a struggle, YN had just managed to get the children down and in bed, both of them deciding today was the day that they did not need a bedtime – and that they were both, in fact, too grown up for a bedtime.

Once she had finally managed to wrangle them into their beds, she wanted nothing more than to drop into bed with her husband and sleep the day off. The only problem was when she walked into their bedchamber – he was nowhere to be found.  She set off throughout the house, looking at all of the different spots she usually found him in. It was not until she spotted a light coming from underneath the door to his study that a small smile crossed her face.

The door was slightly ajar, almost as though he had left it slightly open in hopes that she would find him. She stepped into the room and saw him sitting at his desk, with his books open on the desk in front of him. She knew that he had to be busy to still be working.

Harry had his eyes down, resting his head against his hands. He seemed stressed. YN leaned against the door, a small smile crossing her lips as she watched him. 

“If you continue to furrow your eyebrows like that they will stay that way,” YN joked, watching as his eyes lifted to her.

YN watched as the furrow in his eyebrow ceased, and his chest emptied the air that he had been holding in. It was as though all of the stress in his body had dissipated the second that he saw him in the room. She had not seen him all day, and whilst she had missed him – it was evident just by the look on his face now that he had missed her too.

“Forever jesting,” Harry smiled, leaning back in his chair.

YN shrugged, “You married me for a reason.”

“That I did,” Harry sighed. He held his hands out, beckoning her to come closer to him. YN walked towards him, placing her hands in his and accepting his invitation to sit on his lap, “How are the children?”

YN groaned, dropping her head back slightly, “They have decided that they do not need a bedtime anymore. That they are old enough to go to bed whenever they decide it is time.”

Harry’s body shook with laughter slightly, “I fear the older Noah gets, the more difficult he will become.”

“It certainly seems that way,” YN smiled, her fingers threading through those curls at the nape of his neck, “Are you coming to bed anytime soon?”

Harry sighed, pursing his lips slightly, “I can certainly be persuaded to come to bed.”

YN rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Harry’s words, “I should have known that was going to be your motive.”

Harry’s hands found their place on YN’s waist, his thumb itching ever so closer to the swell of her breast, “I do not know what you mean.”

“You have that glint in your eyes,” YN noted, pulling back from him slightly, “The one you have when you are scheming something.”

“No schemes here,” Harry shook his head, holding his arms up in surrender, “It is just if I am not mistaken… the best time of the month.”

YN could not help the pull of her cheeks that his words caused. It was one thing that YN had noticed very quickly about Harry, even more so when their relationship had turned into what it is now – he remembered everything. Everything that YN told him that was of some sort of importance, he remembered. Even if it was not of much importance, just a tiny, small thing that YN had mentioned in passing, he remembered. It was probably one of the things that YN found the most endearing about Harry. 

When YN and Harry had their conversation about children, it had taken him a few weeks to come to terms with her request. She had left him to think about it and assured her that if anything were to happen, he would be prepared. He would make sure the greatest doctors were at their beck and call the second that anything seemed wrong, and he would ensure her safety at every point. With these in mind, he had decided to oblige her request.

But, when YN saw Harry’s smug expression there was a part of her that knew that at this point, he had no qualms with what she had asked.

“Well, then,” YN smiled, “Since it is the best time of the month, shall we retire upstairs?”

“I was thinking that the best course of action was to shut the door,” YN bit her lip, attempting to suppress her smile but it was no use. She immediately clambered off his lap to shut the door to the room that they were in.

When YN turned back around from the door, Harry had moved so that he was leaning against the front of his desk. For a moment, she just stared at him. She was unable to control the wave of desire that rushed over her body just at the sight of him. It was crazy to believe that just over a year ago they had not slept in each other’s bed and that these feelings had not yet reached the surface. Now, YN could not sleep without Harry beside her.

YN attempted to not think of the past, and instead, she was to focus on the future.

YN took light steps towards him, not stopping until she was in between his open legs. It was then that he almost pounced on her. With such rigour, he dropped his lips down to hers so that their faces all but smashed together, but YN did not mind. Her hands grasped the lapels of his jacket, pulling him even closer to her if that was possible.

“YN,” Harry mumbled against her lips, wrapping his arms around her waist until they rested in the small of her back.

It was not long before their hands were pulling the clothes off their bodies piece by piece. Harry was especially skilled at unlacing a corset, something that made their recent penchant for these activities all the easier to complete. There was something about the comfortability with their movements, the ease, that YN had both longed for and never thought would be a possibility. It was now that they knew the ins and outs of each other, they knew what made each other tick more than anyone else in this world.

Their movements quickened in their speed, and Harry’s body fell back slightly. YN ignored the sound of the items that had once lined Harry’s desk falling to the floor. YN would be lying if she said that this had not happened once or twice in this room and that they did not know the logistics of it. She would be lying even more so if she said that they did not know the logistics of most of the rooms in the house.

Harry’s lips slipped from hers and across her cheek, placing light kisses until they reached her neck. Harry was completely, and utterly obsessed with her neck. He always put the most kisses on the skin between her neck and her collarbone, when they were in bed that was where his head was always placed. The one that excited YN the most was always when they were in public, and Harry pushed her hair off her neck. His fingertips would always linger there, and the touch was always ever so light that it would set her skin alight.

It was always tough work to get him off her neck once he was there, but a tug on the curls at the nape of his neck was always enough to pull him off her and elicit the lightest of moans from his lips. His hands moved down and came to rest at the seam of her chemise, pushing the lace up ever so slightly so that his fingers could rest on the skin of her thighs. His fingertips scratched her skin lightly, causing her to moan into his mouth.

YN pulled away from him slightly so that she could help him unfasten his trousers and pull them swiftly down his legs.

“Eager?” He mumbled against her lips again, his hands pushing her chemise up until they were resting upon her waist.

YN shook her head, “Not eager, just fed up with your constant teasing.”

Harry did not reply. Instead, he picked her up and switched their positions. She landed on the desk with a slight thud, eliciting a moan from her lips. Harry wasted no time in slipping his fingers underneath the thin strap of her chemise, allowing it to fall from her shoulder and expose her chest to him. As the material fell, Harry purposefully slowed his movements so that the soft material rubbed against her pert nipples. To her, it was truly as though he knew her exact strings to pull.  

“You are teasing again,” YN mumbled, pulling away from him slightly in hopes that he would stop the teasing. She should have known better.

His hands grasped at her waist, his fingers setting her skin on fire. He pulled her towards the edge of the desk so that his lips could attach to her nipple. YN gasped, her back arching towards Harry’s body.

He pulled away, his chin resting on the exposed skin of her chest, “You knew what I was like when you married me.”

YN shook her head, wrapping her legs around his body to pull him closer to her, “Not in this capacity I did not.”

Harry laughed, placing a kiss on her skin once more before his lips caught her nipple again. His hands ran up the exposed skin of her thigh once more, pushing it all the way up to her waist until she was exposed to him. His eyes locked with hers again, the slight darkness in them causing a shiver to run across YN’s body and pool in the pit of her stomach.

His assault moved downwards until he was face to face with her. He gripped the skin of her thighs, pulling his legs upwards until they were resting upon his shoulders. She bit her lip in an attempt to conceal the illicit sounds that threatened to escape them. There was nothing that could have helped her when his head lurched forward, his mouth attaching to her immediately.

“God, Harry…” Her body fell backwards, her chest rising up and down at a record speed as he continued his movements.

The mix of continuous flicks of his tongue against her clit, mixed with the suction his lips provided brought her closer and closer to the edge within minutes. YN also wondered if there was a part to play in that in how much she had thought about this throughout the day. It was as though she had been shown something, and now her entire thoughts were consumed by it day by day.

With each second she could feel herself getting closer, and her hands found themselves attached to his hair. Her breathing quickened, and her chest rose and fell at an exasperated rate.

Then it stopped.

YN could not help the moan that passed her lips at the loss of contact, tears brimming against her waterline. She watched as Harry wasted no time in lifting his body back up to her, his lips dropping against hers once more.

“You are cruel,” She mumbled against his lips, feeling the smirk that crossed his features, “You are cruel, and you are mean.”

“I am not cruel and mean,” He responded, his hand moving between them to pull himself out. He gave his cock a few strokes before lining himself up with her, “That is just not the purpose of the best time of the month, is it?”

“It could be, but you…” YN’s words were interrupted by Harry pushing himself into her. YN gasped, her nails digging into the skin of his exposed back, “Oh, god!”

The first time that they had sex was the night of the morning they had been interrupted. YN knew that if it was not for the children, it would have probably happened then. They had spent the entire day exchanging what can only be called longing and intoxicating looks at one another. In part, it felt like both pleasure and torture. YN had been slightly nervous, she would not lie, but Harry had made her feel like the most beautiful woman on this earth. He had not rushed her, he had made her feel comfortable the entire time and most importantly, he had reassured her time and time again that they were doing this together. That this was them showing their affection for each other, in a way that two people could.

All of their sex was not like this. More often than not it was sloppy, and it was rushed, and it was in the five minutes spare they had within the day when nobody from the estate or the children wanted them. If it was not rushed, it was often very slow and sleepy – but in a different remark still sloppy.

“Oh, Harry,” YN’s hands ran down his back towards the curve of his bum, where she pressed her hands against the flesh in hopes of pushing him deeper into her.

Harry groaned against her lips, “This is what you wanted, yes? You were wanting me to fill you up?”

“It was,” YN responded, gasping when he hit that particular spot inside of her that caused her to tighten around him. His hips never stopped their assault on her, and she did not want him to. The second that he slipped his hand between their bodies to rub his thumb against her clit, she was right back to where she had been minutes prior.

Harry’s head dropped into the nape of her neck, resting there whilst he continued to move his hips faster and faster against hers. YN had tried her best to match his pace, but she could not. It was as though she could not control her body when she was with him. He knew exactly what she needed, and he would be the one to get her there.

YN’s entire body went rigid, her mouth parting as a string of moans mixed with calls of Harry’s name left her lips as she orgasmed, Harry’s following just after hers. Their chest, pressed close to one another, were heaving in sync, their breaths ragged but smiles still dancing across both of their lips.

Harry pulled out of her gently and helped her clean herself up, pulling her chemise back on so it was not revealing her in such a promiscuous way. YN laughed, accepting a kiss from Harry when he offered her a hand to help her off the table.

“Do you think it worked this time?” YN asked, wrapping her arms around Harry’s neck.

“We can hope,” Harry nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “But we will not be disheartened if it has not, yes?”

“Yes,” YN nodded, saying the words as though she was trying to convince herself that they were true.

“Let us go to bed,” Harry nodded, reaching his hand out for her.

YN laughed, “We must dress first, imagine if we are to pass any of the staff in this state!”

“They have seen much worse. Now…” Harry dropped down, wrapping his arm around her legs and hoisted her up into his arms, “Let us go to bed… we can tidy in the morning.”

YN just laughed, allowing him to carry her to their room.

YN had been sitting on a blanket in the garden with Noah and Norah when it happened.

When she awoke that morning, she had certainly felt strange. YN had attempted to ignore it, to push the feeling so far down that it would not affect her day. There were things in life that YN could face head-on, with no worries about the consequences. This was something that she could not do. This broke her heart.

YN had smiled at the maid that was in the garden with them, giving her a look to instruct her to look after the children whilst she rushed inside.

She had stripped herself of her ruined clothes as quickly as she could, ordered a bath to be drawn and sunk into the water without a second thought.

They had tried and tried to conceive a child, but it seemed that no matter their efforts (which were frequent) it did not seem to stick. It was heartbreaking every time that this happened, and yet she could not control anything that happened. YN knew that she was older, but she had heard of women having children even older than her before. She just did not understand why nothing seemed to stick for her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the door opening. Harry walked in with a smile on his face, “Miss Harding told me you were in here. It is not like you to have a midday bath.”

YN looked at Harry and at those kind eyes that were staring into hers, and she broke down. The sobs that left her lips were loud, and they shook her entire body. He immediately rushed over to her, kneeling by the tub so that he could wrap his arms around body, trying to soothe the sobs that were wracking through her body.

It was at that point that he noticed her discarded clothes, and the stain upon them told him everything that he needed to know.

“Oh, YN…” Harry’s lips skimmed the top of her head, the realisation and seeing her in such pain stabbed at his chest also, “I am so sorry.”

YN shook her head, leaning against his shoulder, “There is no need for you to apologise, Harry. It is not your fault… I just… I am finding it more and more difficult to deal with the disappointment time and time again.”

Harry sighed, his lips placing a light kiss on her hairline before he pulled away, “Move forward, slightly.”

YN nodded, bringing her legs closer to her chest, and moving forward slightly, She watched as Harry stripped from his clothes, dropping them on a pile by the end of the tub and allowed his body to slip into the water behind her. YN immediately relaxed into Harry’s arms, the feeling of his arms around her body offering the comfort that she needed at that time.

“I do not wish to offend you with this, my love, but…” YN dropped her head back on his shoulder, placing her hands upon his that sat on the soft skin of his thighs, “Do you think that we should stop our endeavours?”

YN pulled away to look at him, “You wish to stop having sex with me?”

“No!” Harry’s eyes immediately widened, “No, God no. I do not wish for that, at all. I just mean that… YN I cannot see you go through this month by month. I just thought that we could, stop putting such a pressure on our actions.”

YN let out a sigh of relief and dropped back down next to him, “Oh… I suppose you may be right.”

“I thought you should know by now that it is often not the case that I am not,” Harry jested from behind her, his nose nudging her cheek.

“I think you are mistaken by that,” YN retorted, shaking her head, “I am more often the one that is right, and you know it.”

“So I do,” Harry lifted his hand from the water to tap her cheek, turning her head so that their lips were inches away from each other, “I just think that if we possibly put a little less pressure on ourselves, then you would hurt less.”

As much as YN would hate to admit it again, Harry’s word did hold some truth. Whilst Harry had never put any sort of pressure upon her, she was unable to say that she did not do the same for herself. It was more often than not she found herself worrying if it was her that was the cause of the problems. Harry had two beautiful children already, and yet the only difference between then and now was YN – and that therefore meant that she had to be the problem which was occurring.

“I think that is the best course of action,” YN nodded, dropping her head forward so that her forehead rested against his.

It was not long before he leant forward and placed his lips against hers. The kiss was soft, and light and the only word that YN could use to describe it was loving. It was as though no matter what mood YN found herself in or what was possibly going on in her head – the only thing that ever brought her out of such was him.

Harry’s hand lifted to rest against her cheek, resting against the soft skin and in part brushing all of the worry out of her body. It was a shock to her at what his touch did to her. She never, ever wanted it to end. She was the one to pull away first, placing her head against his shoulder again.

“We shall take the pressure off,” YN nodded, “And wait to see what happens.” “It will happen when the time is right,” Harry placed his head against hers, “And we should not worry ourselves until that time.”

YEAR SEVEN

From the last time that YN felt strange, this one was different.

The feeling itself was nothing that YN would say was significant – but it was there. She waited for the moment that her courses would come and prove to her that whatever she was feeling was just the prerequisite to that – and yet it never did.

YN tried not to worry herself, or to let her mind spiral but it was often difficult not to. It was as though there were some things that her mind just had to run free with. She did not tell Harry of her thoughts, as she did not want to worry him or to let him get his hopes up for something which could not be true just yet. That it could once again just be her mind playing tricks on her.

That was until, a month or so after her courses should have arrived that she started to feel waves of nausea race over her.

That was when her suspicions grew more into what she would deem to be facts. Her missed courses, the nausea, her constant state of fatigue and the fact that foods that she had once loved turned her stomach in ways that she could not express.

These feelings, which had been slight at first soon grew into something that she could not hide.

It was just a random Thursday that she had woken up and felt quite unwell, and whilst she had truly tried to get up and get herself ready for the day – she just could not.

The only way in which YN’s stomach did not churn uncontrollably was if she was laid down. That is how she found herself, on a lounger by the window in the drawing room. Her arm was covering her eyes, and she was focusing on nothing but her breathing – that was the only way in which to settle her stomach.

Even when she heard the door open, and Harry walked into the room – YN could not muster the energy to lift her arm and greet him. She could hear him talking to her, and yet her ears could not focus on the words that he was saying.

It was not until he dropped himself on the edge of the lounger she was laid on was it that she finally turned to greet him, but it was certainly not the greeting he was possibly expecting.

“Why do you smell like that?”

Harry chuckled, “Did you not hear me saying that I had just returned from my morning ride?”

“No,” YN shook her head, her features grimacing, “If I had, I would not be asking you why you smell like that.”  

“It is nice to know that you listen to me,” Harry jested, leaning forward to place either one of his arms around her body. He leant forward in hopes that she would return the favour, and yet she did not. She placed her hand on his chest and pushed him away from her.

“You… The smell…” YN placed her hand over her mouth, pushing Harry out of the way so that she could reach the chamber pot she had left at the side of her on the lounger.

Harry dropped down next to her, pulling her hair back from around her face. He was confused, and even more so when he reached out to wrap his arm around her body and she pushed him away once again.

“Do not come near me,” She held her hand out, instructing him to stay where he was, “You smell horrid.”

“Are you ill?” Harry ignored her orders, “Do I need to fetch a doctor?”

YN shook her head, leaning back against the lounger, “That is not necessary.”

“YN, you must tell me if you are ill,” YN sighed at his words, her annoyance growing by the second, “I cannot bear to see you in pain.”

YN raised her hand to cover her eyes once more, “I am not ill in the way that you think.”

“Then what is it?”

YN tried to swallow the feeling that was bubbling within her, but she could not, “Is there no way that you could change, or maybe even wash before we have this conversation?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “YN tell me what it is right now.”

YN sighed, turning to meet his eyes despite her stomach’s protests, “I have… evidence to believe that I am with child.”

Harry’s eyes widened as he looked upon her, “What?”

“Did you not hear me?” YN did not mean to snap, but she could not lie and say that her patience was not wearing thin with him, “I said that I believe I am with child.”

“I heard what you said, I just…” Then, his face broke out into a smile, “It is just that I am slightly in shock, but I cannot say not overjoyed by the news – and possibly a little apprehensive.”

Harry attempted to move closer to her, but she pushed him back once more.

“Harry, I wish nothing more than to hug you and kiss you right now to celebrate but I fear if you come any closer to me you might receive something else entirely.”

Harry finally understood what it was that she was saying to him. He stood up and immediately started to unbutton his coat and his shirt. He removed his suspenders, and his trousers came next until he was stood in nothing but his underwear in front of her.

“Would this suffice?” He held his arms open in front of her.

YN laughed, “You will have to come closer for me to make my decision.”

Harry laughed as he dropped back down beside her, wrapping his arms around his wife. He lifted her with such care and ease until she was upon his lap. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“We are having a baby?” He smiled, immediately leaning forward to capture her lips with his, “I cannot quite believe it.”

“Well, I cannot say for certain, but I do think that it is highly likely,” YN nodded, accepting the light kisses he was giving her through her words.

Sighing, YN pursed her lips in an attempt to keep her feelings down. Without his clothes on was certainly much better, but the smell was still lingering around him, and going straight towards her stomach.  

“Harry, I am sorry, but you need to bathe,” YN pushed herself up and off his lap, “I cannot be around you until you do.”

“I thought you vowed to love me – smell and all?” He pouted, still making no movements to stand up.

YN shook her head, “That was before such a smell did this to me. Please, freshen up and then we can continue our conversation.”

Harry just nodded, pushing himself up until he was standing, “I shall wash straight away.”

“I need to leave this room,” YN shook her head, walking towards the door, “Can you open the windows before you leave to air it out?”

Harry laughed but did as his wife wished. His wife that was indeed carrying their child.

“I must say, it’s been too long since you have been in my shop, YN,” Miss Francis spoke, passing her friend who sat on the settee in her shop a cup of tea, “I might have to come and have words with that husband of yours to let you free every once in a while.”

YN chuckled, “You should have seen him this morning. I said that I needed to come and see you and he was readying himself to join us.”

Miss Francis gasped and shook her head, dropping down on the settee with her cup of tea in her hand also.

As much as YN hated to admit it – she had slightly neglected Miss Francis and her friendship since she was married. She, of course, saw her whenever she needed a dressmaking or something altered – but they both knew that was not good enough. Miss Francis had been there with her through thick and thin, and she hated that it had let it get this bad.  

“Well, if I was worried about whether or not he loved you – I’m certainly not worried about that now,” Miss Francis offered the younger girl a smile, but that dropped once she saw the expression on YN’s face, “What is that face for? Are you… is everything okay?”

YN offered Miss Francis a small smile and placed the cup down on the table in front of them. She turned and reached over to grab the older woman’s hand.

“I need to apologise to you, Miss Francis,” YN spoke, squeezing Miss Francis’ hand.

Miss Francis furrowed her eyebrows, placing her cup down, “Whatever for, my dear?”

YN sighed, “For getting married, and not coming to visit you as often. It was despicable of me, and I cannot tell you how sorry I am.”

Miss Francis laughed with a shake of her head, “You do not need to apologise to me, silly girl. You were a newlywed; I am just your modiste – there is no reason to apologise for not coming to see me without a need for it.”

“No,” YN shook her head, “Miss Francis, you are not just a modiste to me. You are my friend I would say that you are my best friend. You encouraged me to marry, you held my hand the morning of my wedding. You gave me your family’s jewels to wear at the ball. And I… well I handled the changes in my life poorly when it came to you. I therefore need to apologise to you.”

When YN looked back up at Miss Francis, her heart broke at the sight of her watery eyes. She had never felt disappointment in herself like this before, and she was angry. She was angry at herself for abandoning this woman.

“YN,” Miss Francis shook her head, “All of that does not matter to me. I was happy just knowing that you were happy.”

“I am happy,” YN nodded, “And I promise you that I will never let it get to this again. I will come to see you as much as I can until… well…”

Miss Francis furrowed her eyebrows, reaching forward to pick up a biscuit, “Until what?”

YN pursed her lips in an attempt to hold back her smile, and yet she could not do it. This had been the real reason that YN had wanted to come and make amends for the guilt that she had been feeling. When she had finally come to terms with the fact that she was pregnant a few days ago, the first person (besides Harry) that she had wanted to tell was Miss Francis. She had wanted to tell her straight away, but it had taken her a few days for the nausea to not be so bad, and in fact for her to be able to get up and ready and even contemplate leaving the house. Harry had not left her alone these past few days, doing everything that he could to make her comfortable. That was why when she had felt fine this morning and had asked Harry to make sure the carriage was ready to take her into town – Harry had tried and tried to get her to allow him to come with her.

It had taken YN explaining to Harry the reason behind the visit, and how she needed to do this on her own for Harry to finally let her go without him. It was under the stipulation that she would go there and come straight back, and if she started to feel ill at any point she had to return immediately. YN, not wanting to upset him anymore nodded and accepted the stipulations with a light kiss to his lips. Any of the turning in her stomach that she felt today was more the nerves of the conversation she was going to have – rather than a cause of the baby.

“Let us just say that… life might be turned around once more in eight months.”

Miss Francis gasped, dropping the biscuit she had in her hand onto her lap and leaning over to wrap her arms around the younger woman. YN laughed, swaying with Miss Francis as they embraced.

“Oh, YN,” Miss Francis pulled away, the tears in her waterline now ones of joy, “I am so happy for you, darling.”

YN had her own tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks. Another part of this which she had not expected to experience as well as the nausea was the up and down of her emotions. Harry, who probably had prior knowledge of this, had taken her constant changes of mood like a champ thankfully. YN, however, was struggling slightly with the changes.

“I wanted to tell you,” YN nodded, “I needed to tell you. I need you to be with me throughout this.”

“Of course, I will, darling,” Miss Francis smiled, running her hand across YN’s cheek, “I will be here for anything that you need.”

“Thank you,” YN nodded.

It was then that Miss Francis sprung up into action, walking over to the trunk where YN had brought some of her dresses with her. YN knew better than to interrupt Miss Francis when she was working, so instead she stood up and allowed the older woman to boss her around the way she needed her to.

“I did wonder when you showed up with the trunk what was happening,” Miss Francis spoke pulling the dresses out, “I should have known.”

“It is just the ones that I think with a bit of altering should have some give,” YN nodded, allowing the older woman to hold the dress up to her body, “Harry said I should have some new ones made but I do not see the need.”

“You might have to, YN,” Miss Francis explains, “Depending on how much altering I can do to these dresses.”

“Well,” YN offers Miss Francis a smile, “You have never been one to turn down a challenge.”

“That I have not,” Miss Francis laughs, “Now, you have to tell me everything. How did you tell Mr Styles?

“It is not quite the story you imagine it to be, I am afraid,” Then the two women broke out into a fit of giggles and it was as though nothing had happened between them at all.

Nathaniel Styles entered the world a mere eight months later.

Eight months of what some might conclude as torture, but others may count as bliss. YN had realised that her pregnancy would be a mixture of the two. She possibly should have realised when the first few months of her pregnancy were torture that she was not necessarily going to have the easiest pregnancy. It had been easy to realise that this experience was beautiful, and YN would not have changed it for the world – it was also difficult for her.

It had also taken a toll on Harry. He had already been particularly attentive before her pregnancy, but it seemed as though it was even more so when she got pregnant. She should have known the way that he acted when she had first told him that she was pregnant and that he was going to be that way. If she thought that Harry was bad before, the closer they were to welcoming their bundle of joy into the world – the more that he would not leave her alone at all. He was there, always in the room with her and ready to be there if anything happened. YN, whilst she may not have said so during time, was thankful for him.

By the time that YN had realised she was in labour, there had been no time to do anything. If Harry had not devoted himself to being close to her at all times (especially during the latter part of the pregnancy) then she would have worried about him missing the birth.

It was slightly scary the speed at which her labour progressed, there was not even any time to call for a doctor, or even Harry’s mother or Miss Francis. She had to rely upon Harry and the maids that were at hand in the house.

Whilst Harry had tried his very hardest to not make it obvious that he was worried, YN knew him too well and knew that he was. The speed at which her labour was progressing was the thing that worried him more than anything. It was as though he had kept worrying about something going wrong, and yet nothing ever seemed to.

It was in the mid-afternoon when their baby boy made his way into the world, making their two other children siblings once more.

Harry had not put Nathaniel down since he had made his entrance into the world. One of the first things that caused YN to fall in love with Harry was the love and care that he had for his children, and now that they had one of their own – that had certainly not changed. YN had been resting in the bed, unable to take her eyes off her husband sitting on the lounger next to the window, with their baby boy placed on his chest. Nathaniel was sleeping soundly against his father’s chest, obviously finding the comfort he needed in the skin-to-skin contact.

There was not a single sound in the room apart from a babble from Nathaniel now and then, until there was a knock at the door. YN’s face broke into a smile when she saw Anne, Harry’s mother peering her head into the room.

Anne held a similar smile on her face, “Are you up for any visitors?”

“Of course, I am,” YN beamed, any ounce of fatigue immediately dissipating from her body. She watched as Noah and Norah walked into the room, both of them rushing around the bed and towards her.

“Is that him? My baby brother?” Noah pointed to the baby bundled against Harry’s chest, his face beaming out into a smile.

“It is,” YN smiled, her head dropping against her shoulder as she watched the two older children walk closer to their new sibling.

It was not often that YN would say that she saw the two of them nervous. They were such confident children; it was so out of character for them. There was nothing in this world that scared them, and yet for some reason, they both seemed that way about meeting their new brother. As the children inched closer to their father, YN felt the bed dip at the side of her. She smiled as she saw Anne sitting there, immediately reaching out to grab YN’s hand.

“How are you feeling?” Anne asked, pushing some of YN’s hair out of her face slightly.

YN smiled, accepting the woman’s comforting touch, “Tired, but I am well. It all seemed to happen very quickly.”

“Harry’s birth was just the same,” Anne smiled, “If you need anything, do not be afraid to ask.”

YN smiled, “Thank you.”

Both of the women’s attention immediately turned to Harry, who was instructing Noah on how best to sit to hold his brother in his arms. The eldest boy’s eyes were wide, and he was listening to every word from his father’s mouth as he spoke.

“Keep your arms together, just like that,” Noah nodded, watching as his father moved Nathaniel from his arms and placed him down in his sons. His face broke into a smile once the little boy was safe and secure in his arms.

“He’s so small,” Noah commented, his eyes wide as he looked up to YN for just a second until they dropped back down to his brother.

“Well,” Harry sighed, reaching over to run the back of his finger across the expanse of Nathaniel’s small cheek, “You both were once this small.”

“Really?” Norah’s eyes lit up, “But you always say that I am your big girl.”

Harry nodded, suppressing a chuckle slightly before he reached his arm out to wrap around his daughter’s body, pulling her into the side of him, “You are my big girl, but you were once my small girl too, but you will always be my baby.”

Norah smiled, accepting the kiss that Harry placed on her cheek. It was very quickly that (just as her brother’s) Norah’s attention was placed upon her little brother, who had interrupted his sleep once again to let out a small whine before falling straight back into a slumber.

“Look at that,” YN smiled, “He feels safe with his big brother.”

Noah smiled once more before it was replaced with one of concern when Nathaniel broke out into tears, his little face turning red and his eyebrows furrowing. Noah’s eyes widened, looking between Harry and YN with a panic-stricken face.

“It is okay, bud,” Harry chuckled slightly, an amused glint in his eyes as they met YN’s, “He must be hungry.”

YN and Anne both chuckled from their place on the bed, watching as Noah angled his arms towards Harry slightly so that he could take his brother off him.

“I think that is our cue to leave,” Anne smiled, squeezing YN’s hand one last before climbing off the bed, “I am sure that there’s some trouble that we can get up to.”

YN smiled, opening her arms wide so that both Noah and Norah could come and hug her and kiss her before they left. Norah had a pouting face as she came over to YN. The older woman attempted to wipe it off her face, but she could not.

“And what is with that face, Norah?” YN teased, running her finger across the girl’s cheek lightly.

She pouted one more time, “I did not get to hold Nathaniel.”

YN smiled, placing a kiss on the younger girl’s cheek, “Your time will come, Norah, I promise. But he’s small now and needs me to feed him but I promise that once he has a full stomach – you will be the first to hold him.”

Norah sighed but alas nodded her head, “I suppose I can live with that.”

“I suppose you can,” YN smiled, “Now go, I’m sure Nana has plenty of things planned for you in the meantime.”

The children both nodded, accepting their Nana’s outstretched hands and walked out of the room. Both Harry and YN watched as the door closed behind them, a smile passing between them as it did. YN pulled herself up slightly so that she was in a sitting position, and smiled as Harry dropped down next to her, passing her Nathaniel as he did.

YN smiled at Nathaniel, and even though his little face was still red and scrunched with tears, YN would not change it for the world. Harry helped in pulling her nightgown down of herself, the act itself being sort of difficult with little Nathaniel in her arms. She sighed slightly as Nathaniel attached to her nipple, her body falling into Harry’s embrace as he wrapped his arm around YN’s shoulder, her head dropping down to his.

It was as though the second that Nathaniel had latched on, his face relaxed and peace was restored throughout his body. His eyes were wide, never leaving his parents faces as he began to eat. It was a beautiful moment, a moment that YN would never forget.

Harry sighed, lifting his free hand up to run his finger across Nathaniel’s cheek again, “He’s got your nose.”

YN chuckled slightly, trying her hardest not to shake too much and disturb the little boy pressed against her chest, “He does… it is no wonder I had so much heartburn with all of that hair – that’s certainly taking after you.”

Harry is the one who chuckles this time, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of YN’s head, “I hope he has your eyes.”

YN shook her head, turning so that she was facing Harry, “I want him to have your eyes.”

Harry smiled, leaning forward to place his forehead against YN’s. Harry’s eyes were one of the first things that YN noticed about him, and they will always be one of her favourite things about him. People always say that home is not a house, and instead can be found in a person. That was more obvious to her when she met Harry, and even more so when she looked into those green eyes of his. Those eyes, especially when they looked at her made her feel more at home than anything in this world. They were her comfort, her love, and more importantly, her home.

“Are you sure that you want him to have my eyes?” Harry questioned, pulling away slightly to look at her, “Because we both know we will not be able to say no to him.”

YN laughs before shaking her head, “I have no trouble saying no to you.”

“That is true,” Harry nods, “I suppose it shall be me that struggles to say no. I will compromise with the next one having your eyes.”

YN chuckled, “The next one?”

“Of course,” Harry sighed, “If you would want that.”

After sharing a slight chuckle between the two of them, they both turned to look at their son, who was becoming drowsier by the second. They decided that now was probably the best time to burp and place him down for a nap. Harry placed a cloth over his shoulder and carefully removed Nathaniel out of YN’s arms again, picking him up and placing him upon his shoulder.

YN watched with a smile as Harry started to walk around the room, gently rubbing Nathaniel’s back in hopes that it would coax a burp out of him. There was something so beautiful about the sight in front of her The fact that seven years ago YN had thought that marriage was out of the picture for her, and here she was now with a husband she could not love any more than she did and three beautiful children.

It was not long before Nathaniel let out the perfect burp, and his eyes began to close once more. He, so far, was the perfect baby. YN could not be luckier, and she also could not be luckier with the man she was raising him with.

“That’s it, baby boy,” YN watched as Harry swaddled the baby with a blanket, dropping him down lightly in the bassinet at the side of the bed.

There was a sigh from Nathaniel, and then not a single peep from him. Harry sighed, dropping back down on the bed next to YN, pulling her closer to him so she was resting her head on his chest. YN sighed into his body, dropping her hand upon his chest.

“Thank you,” YN mumbled, lifting her hand so that she was looking at him, “For everything.”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “Thank you.”

[phantomarine]

Clam's Quick Tips for Starting Your Very First Webcomic

Howdy! Here are the three bits of advice I tend to give people who ask me about getting into webcomic-making. Maybe they can help you jump into the fray with a little less fear.

1) Make Your First Chapter a Pilot Episode

You will be told by webcomic veterans to start with a short, simple comic idea first - which is wise - but if all you can think about is your big magnum opus, then you might as well hop in, right? Otherwise you'll just be glancing back at the other cooler project forever.

But if you can't start with a small simple story, start on a small, simple part of that larger story. Your first chapter should be a snapshot of the main conflict - show us a simple scene with few characters, ease us in slowly, keep things clear and focus on emotion/impact/clarity. Get the audience to care by offering something easily digested, but full of promise.

Once you're done with that 'pilot' chapter, and you're feeling more comfortable with the whole comic process, you can open the gates and show us the larger world. At that point, you'll be way more ready.

2) Simplify Your Art Style For Your Own Sanity

Always try to make your webcomic's art style as simple as possible - the standard rule is to use only 75% of your artistic skill for every comic page you make. Otherwise you will burn out quickly and terribly.

But you also need to be PROUD of your art style. If you're really feeling itchy, add a couple bells and whistles to your style so you can look at the finished page and say "Yeah, looks cool." You'll find the right balance the more you draw.

Also, don't be afraid to change your art style as you go along. Ultimate consistency is often impossible in webcomics anyway - so embrace your desire to try new things, streamline your work, whatever you feel needs to happen to be happiest. Sometimes the coolest part of reading a webcomic is noticing that style change - so don't hesitate to embrace it!

3) Resist the Reboot! RESIST!

The curse/blessing of drawing the same things over and over is that you'll inevitably get better at drawing those things. The trouble comes when you look back at old stuff and start thinking "Damn, I could draw that way better now."

You must recognize that this feeling never goes away. Not after a hundred pages. Not after three hundred. Not after a thousand.

I think everyone should be allowed one soft reboot for their first webcomic. Redraw some panels that bother you. Change up some dialogue if it doesn't make sense with your new story ideas. Do maintenance, basically. One of the beauties of webcomics is that they can be easily edited, without reprinting a whole book or remaking a whole game.

But if the ultimate purpose of a webcomic is to tell a story, then constant reboots will just be retelling the same story - slightly better each time, but the same at its core. We've heard it before. Most audiences would rather you save your strength and just keep going, rather than circling back year after year and going "Wait wait wait! I'll do it better this time."

Reboot early, not often, and only when you absolutely must! You're a storyteller, and you're constantly getting better at telling your story. Don't be ashamed of it - look back how much ground you've covered, and keep walking!

---

That's a good start. Happy webcomicking - don't be afraid to jump in, but be prepared to learn a lot very quickly. And if this advice doesn't work for you or adhere to how you did it, that's absolutely fine - webcomics are diverse by nature, and so are their creation processes. Feel out what works best for you, and good luck!

[apuckishwit]

When Your Boyfriend's a Reformed Mean Girl

100 percent inspired by this tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR75sjkf/

Time seems to do wierd things for Eddie Munson.

It's something Steve has gotten used to, in the year they've been dating. Eddie is attentive and affectionate, always makes sure Steve needs are being met, always goes the extra mile to let Steve know how much he loves him, how much he cherishes their time together. In many ways, he's the best partner Steve's ever had.

Just...sometimes things like approaching deadlines and important dates seem to literally not register in his brain until it's almost too late. And not even then, sometimes.

Eddie acknowledges that it's a problem. He puts every effort into finding workarounds. There is a calendar hanging at both his (brand new, government-funded) trailer and Steve's house, hanging right by the door with color-coded schedules and a pack of Post-It notes and a cup of pens sitting on a little table below it in case something changes or comes up. Steve has a dedicated half hour every night where he's allowed to remind Eddie of things they have coming up, or ask if they've been added to the calendar and Eddie is one hundred percent not allowed to gripe about being nagged in that thirty minutes. Not that he would, because most of the time there's at least one, "Oh, shit, forgot about that." When something slips through the cracks, he apologizes promptly and sincerely if it's something that affects someone other than him and he is always trying to do better.

Steve understands. Hell, after as many concussions as he's had, details get away from him too sometimes. There's several color-coded blocks on the calendar for Steve, as well. Sometimes, Eddie just forgets things despite his best efforts.

But their anniversary? The date that Steve has been carefully planning for almost a month to celebrate their first (of hopefully, many) year together as a couple? Really?

Eddie is going to be horrified.

He is going to feel so bad, and so guilty, and he is absolutely going to go all out to make it up to Steve. Steve knows this. He knows Eddie loves him, and that Eddie was looking forward to tonight as much as he was, and that this is just an instance of Eddie's brain betraying him, and not him actively trying to hurt Steve, or be dismissive of him. Eddie is going to feel awful when he realizes that he stood Steve up on their one-year anniversary to fight imaginary dragons with the boys. Hell, the boys are probably going to feel awful when they realize they gave Eddie something else to focus on in the lead-up to his one-year anniversary.

Well. Dustin, Lucas, and Will are going to feel awful. Mike will probably think it's hilarious.

The point is, Steve knows Eddie didn't do this on purpose, and it's not that Eddie doesn't value his time with Steve enough to remember the date, and so he's merely irritated. Maybe a little exasperated. Not truly angry.

All he has to do is radio over to Wheeler's place and remind Eddie what the date is. His boyfriend will literally drop everything, will probably not even bother to pack up his precious miniatures and dice before he's tearing out of the driveway and breaking every traffic law imaginable to get to Steve's house. Steve doesn't actually want Eddie to get a ticket or anything, though. Besides.

He's feeling a little petty.

There's steaks waiting to be tossed on the grill, twice-baked potatoes in the oven, and a fucking homemade chiffon cake with fresh strawberries and whipped cream chilling in the fridge. Eddie's gift is sitting on the counter, in an elegant little gift bag tied with black ribbon.

"Hey Rob, you wanna come over for dinner?" he says into his walkie, deciding to let Fate decide if his boyfriend is listening and catches a clue.

"Do I get a piece of that cake you made?" Robin replies immediately, amusement already dancing in her voice because she's his (platonic) soulmate and she can read his mind.

"You can take the leftovers home," he says.

And then his (romantic) soulmate, who can usually read his mind, comes over the channel as well. "Have fun, babe!" Eddie says brightly. "This is probably going to run later than I thought. I'll probably just pick you up for breakfast tomorrow, okay?"

Steve rolls his eyes fondly. "Okay."

"Love you!" Eddie says, and signs off.

Robin brings a bottle of wine she stole from her parents' pantry and they demolish the dinner and half the cake. Steve does get another package of steaks out to thaw in the fridge for tomorrow, though, and blows out the fancy candles he'd lit before they burn too low to be used again. Fuck if he's making another chiffon cake, though, persnickety little thing. He calls Enzo's and orders a chocolate marble cheesecake to be picked up tomorrow.

"So you gonna milk this for a nice present or what?" Robin asks as Steve is packing the remains of the cake for her to take home, as promised.

"Nah. He's fucking perfect like 90% of the time...I'm not gonna get mad at him for the other ten." Robin smiles at him, a little gooey-eyed. Steve returns it with a smirk. "But I'm not letting him off the hook entirely."

He has just finished putting the dishes away when he hears the rumble of Eddie's van in the driveway. He glances down at his watch, laughing to himself a little when he notes that while late, it is far, far too early for a gaming session to be done. He scoops his little gift bag off the counter and saunters to the front door just in time for a frantic knocking to sound. He schools his features and opens the door.

"Steve! Stevie, baby, I am so, so sorry. I swear to God, I had tonight written down in like five different places, but Dustin wanted to try a new character class and we haven't done this campaign yet, and I got so excited...I'm so sorry I forgot, but I'm here and I SWEAR I will make it up to you!" Eddie pauses for breath, wild-eyed and panting.

Steve holds the silence for a moment, and then shakes his head, leaning forward to drop a kiss on Eddie's cheek. "You're such a nerd," he says, affection dripping from his words. He sighs. "I hope you know, now I'm expecting flowers tomorrow. And I get to pick the movies for, like, two weeks with no complaints."

Eddie almost wilts in relief. "Absolutely none," he promises, reaching out to grip Steve's hand. "I will make tomorrow night AMAZING. I promise."

Steve smiles at him, his chest aching with the love he feels for this man. But he's still feeling just a little bit petty. He holds the bag out to Eddie, tilting his head coyly. "You can still open this tonight, though."

"Babe! I thought we said no gifts." He takes the bag in his hands, plucking at the ribbon.

Steve's smile turns just a little sharper. He worked fucking hard on that cake. "It's kind of for both of us, really. It's what I was gonna wear up to bed tonight."

Eddie peeks in the box, his brow furrowing. "Stevie...there's nothing but strawberry lip gloss and a bottle of lube in here." He looks up, and freezes as his brain catches up with what his mouth just said.

Steve leans forward and kisses him, hard, long, and absolutely filthy. "Suffer," he whispers against his boyfriend's lips.

Then he shuts the door in his face.

[redrose10]

Since I’ve been really stressed and anxious and it’s Halloween today I distracted myself by writing this. It’s a continuation of 1800s witch Yoongi from this post. I hope everyone likes it!

Witch Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, hints of smut, jealous possessive Yoongi

Word Count: 2,703

For the last year you had been living with your boyfriend Yoongi, the two hundred year old witch that you accidentally freed from the Twilight. You experienced lots of ups and downs over the course of your relationship just like any couple would except when mad your boyfriend wouldn’t just storm off but instead would vanish into thin air. You also had a dedicated cabinet in your kitchen full of things you thought only existed in fairytales like eye of newt and a lock of werewolf fur.

For the most part Yoongi was great though. He was kind and thoughtful and made you laugh even if he wasn’t trying.

You always had a warm towel waiting for you after your shower. The dryer was one of his favorite modern appliances according to him.

You woke up to a fresh cup of coffee every morning, usually pumpkin spice flavored. Some mornings he tried to cook you breakfast but the microwave still made him nervous. He said it was unnatural and dangerous and he didn’t trust it.

He carried your purse when it was too heavy and he would rub your feet after a long day.

And the sex…the sex was amazingly incredible. You weren’t sure if it was a witch thing or just a Yoongi thing but he left you speechless Every. Single. Time.

While you knew he wasn’t a man of many words it did hurt a little that after a year together he still hadn’t said he loved you.

You said it. The first time was after dating for five months. It was very cliché and right after an amazing night of sex. Yoongi just nodded and quickly ran off to the shower without saying a word.

The next time was in the morning as you were heading out the door. It just slipped from your mouth. Yoongi smiled and said thank you but that was it.

The third time you said it was on a date night. You were walking along the river holding hands after having a romantic dinner. The moment just felt right. Yoongi however pretended he didn’t hear you and instead pointed at some ducks that were chasing each other around. His cheeks turned a faint shade of pink so you knew he heard you and chose to ignore it.

You didn’t say it any more after that night. And ever since it had gnawed at you little by little.

Maybe he didn’t really want to be with you after all and he just didn’t have anywhere else to go. Maybe he felt like he owed you since you freed him. Maybe he was using you for sex until someone better came along. All these thoughts and feelings started wearing you down. The two of you started arguing more. You tried to distance yourself a little. But no matter what happened you still got out of the shower and had a warm towel every time and you always woke up to a fresh cup of coffee in the morning.

You hadn’t heard from Yoongi all day. Jimin recently got him a job at the campus bookstore. You were glad he could get out of the house a little more and it gave him something to do. You also appreciated him being able to contribute financially.

You decided to stop into the store and say hi.

“Hey Jimin”, you smiled as you walked up to the counter. He looked visibly uncomfortable after seeing you but you chose to ignore it.

“Where’s Yoongi?”, you asked instead.

“Ooohhh he’s around. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He was acting strange. You wanted to question him but really you just wanted to see Yoongi. You could smell his cologne. The comforting familiar cinnamon and vanilla scent was in the air so you knew he was near by. Then you heard a woman’s voice, it was very sultry and confident and also followed by your boyfriends distinct laugh.

Yoongi was standing by some bookshelves talking to a woman. She was gorgeous with thick long black hair down to her hips and eyes so blue they looked inhuman. Yoongi was smiling from ear to ear.

“Who is that?”, you asked to yourself but also intentionally loud enough for Jimin to hear.

Jimin nervously chuckled, “She’s no one. Just a customer.”

“Really? Because it definitely looks like Yoongi knows her pretty well.”

“Yeah well you know Yoongi is a great salesman…Hey Y/N have you read this book? It’s really good. I highly recommend.”

“Jimin, that’s the dictionary... Tell me who she is?”

“Her name is Bellamy. She’s just a person that we’ve known for a while. Not important.”, he said still trying to change the subject, “Look at this cookbook. I bet they have a great chocolate cake recipe but I have a better one. It’s the touch of arsenic. It really gives it that something special.”

“So she’s a witch?”, you questioned.

“Yeah you could say that or she might be like the most powerful witch of all time but who’s keeping track. Like I said she’s not important.”, he coughed afterwards.

“You’re lying to me. Your voice is doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“That thing where it gets all high pitched when you’re lying. I won’t be mad. Tell me who she is exactly and why is Yoongi touching her arm right now.”

Jimin ran a hand through his freshly dyed hair, “She is umm…She might be…She is kind of Yoongi’s ex who… he…was… goingtomarrybutthenshelefthimatthealter.”

“I’m sorry what?”, you chuckled.

“Oh for fucks sake.”, he huffed, “She is Yoongi’s ex fiancé. They were going to get married but then she walked out on him and then he got sent to the Twilight and now they’re both here.”

“She’s beautiful. He looks like he’s really happy to see her.”, you said feeling a bunch of different emotions.

“Well yeah I mean he said she was the only woman he could ever love.”

You turned to glare at Jimin. He knew about all of your confessions going unanswered. His eyes widened at the realization of what he said.

“Oh would you look at the time.”, he sighed looking at his nonexistent watch, “It is time for my break.”

“You’re not even wearing a watch?”, you questioned.

“Don’t have to. It’s a witch thing.”, he winked before quickly scurrying away.

In that time Yoongi noticed you and excitedly walked over.

“Hi babe, when did you get here?”, he asked trying to give you a kiss which you dodged much to his disappointment.

“Who was that?”, you asked pointing at the woman exiting the store.

“She’s just an old friend. Her name is Bellamy.”

“Mmmhm.”, your annoyance was building especially at how nonchalant he was being about the whole thing.

“Actually I was thinking…we should all go out to dinner tonight. Jimin and his wife, you and me, and Bellamy. We could all catch up. She wanted to go over some witch coven things. I told her I’d only go if you came along too.”

No you didn’t want to go to dinner with your boyfriend and his first and apparently only love. In your mind he was already leaving you. Why wouldn’t he? She was a beautiful powerful witch and you were an average nobody. He was going to pack his stuff and run away with her and leave you alone and longing for him. You couldn’t blame him though. If she was the one he loved, the only woman he ever told that he loved then he should be with her.

“Y/N what do you think?”, he questioned pulling you out of your daydream.

You decided you would let him go if he really wanted to but not without a taste of his own medicine first. That’s just how you were.

“Umm yeah that’s fine. I was actually going to have dinner with an old friend tonight though. Do you think it would be okay if I invited them too or I could just pass and the four of you could go instead?”, you questioned.

“Yeah I guess.”, he stated confused and a little hurt that there was someone else you’d rather spend time with.

“Great.”, you deadpanned.

“Okay well I have to get back to work. I’ll see you at home.”, he said. He gave you a kiss which you wanted to ignore but you gave in and allowed his lips to meet yours.

You and Yoongi arrived at the restaurant where Jimin and his wife were already waiting. Much to your annoyance Bellamy was already there too. She greeted you but you could tell it was forced and that only made you more irritated. Of course Yoongi took the seat next to her with you on his other side. He immediately started conversing with her while you sat in silence. Jimin and his wife were across the table trying to keep to themselves as they could sense the tension in the room.

“Y/N, sorry I’m a bit late. Parking was horrible.”, a man said before taking the seat next to you.

“No worries at all, we just got here too.”, you widely smiled.

Kim Seokjin was often deemed the most handsome man on campus. Women and men would throw themselves at him while begging for a chance and he just so happened to owe you after you covered for him when he got caught hooking up with one of your professors.

And what better way to collect your dues than to have him come out to dinner and be your extremely attractive and flirty classmate/friend/former fling.

Jimin, having worked on campus for so long and being no stranger to gossip, knew what you were up to. He shook his head knowing this wasn’t going to end well.

“Yoongi this is Jin and Jin this is Yoongi.”, you introduced them before also getting around to everyone else.

Yoongi eyed him up and down but returned to his conversation with Bellamy. So you turned on your flirting to a whole new level. Your giggles were extra loud. You touched Jins arm and shoulder multiple times. You used your napkin to wipe away at some sauce that had gotten on his cheek.

You did all this and got no reaction from Yoongi. Nothing other than his hand on your knee underneath the table where no one could even see it.

You wanted to cry because he really truly wasn’t in love with you. He didn’t even care that you were practically all over Jin right in front of him.

You had been thinking it for months now but seeing the way he looked at Bellamy, how he hung onto each word she said. You could see the difference in how he felt towards her compared to you.

So you spent the rest of the dinner in silence other than a few words here or there if directly spoken to. When the meals were over and it was time to leave you gave Jin a hug while secretly thanking him for going along with everything even though you didn’t get the outcome you wanted. You also said your goodbyes to Jimin and his wife and Bellamy who seemed hesitant to let Yoongi go.

The drive home was silent. Yoongi’s hand was still on your knee while you were stuck in your thoughts.

You took a long hot shower once back at your place. The recent stress was really taking a toll on your muscles. When you were ready to exit the shower you pulled back the curtain getting startled by Yoongi. He was standing there folding your towel. He handed it to you with a smile, “Sorry I’m a little behind. That smoke alarm thingy kept beeping again. I couldn’t get it to stop so I just used a spell to cast it away.”

Normally you would be annoyed and would take the time to explain to him that he can’t just make things disappear when they annoyed or scared him, R.I.P. to your poor toaster, but your towel was soft and warm from being fresh out of the dryer and the nice gesture made you cry. You were really going to miss him.

“Hey hey what’s wrong? I’ll buy a new smoke alarm. I’m sorry.”, he said wide eyed and shocked by your tears.

You shook your head unable to really put your thoughts into words so instead he wrapped the warm towel around you and lead you into the bedroom. He handed you a large tshirt to change into before pulling you to sit down next to him on the bed.

Once you were calmed down he grabbed your hand and held onto it, “Y/N please talk to me. What’s going with you lately?”

You sniffled, “Do you love me Yoongi?”

You surprised yourself with your boldness.

“What? Why are you asking me that?”

“See! You can’t even answer with a simple yes.”, you scoffed.

Yoongi licked his lips, “Is this about Bellamy?”

“No!…or yes…maybe a little.”, you whispered.

“Y/N talk to me. I can read your mind if I really want to but I’d rather you tell me what’s bothering you.”

“It’s just…wait you can read minds?!”

He nodded, “Yeah I can Miss Always Thinking About How Good My Butt Looks.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up making him laugh.

“Now please talk to me.”, he calmly said.

“We’ve been together for a year and you’ve never said you loved me. I thought I didn’t care but over time it started bothering me. Then I saw the way you looked at her and Jimin said she was the only woman you could ever love and I guess I just got jealous and even more hurt because I was afraid to loose you.”

“So you invited Jin to dinner tonight to make me jealous?”

“Yeah but it didn’t matter. You didn’t even notice. You were probably hoping he’d take me off your hands and make it easier for you to leave.”

He loudly snorted, “I definitely noticed. I spent the entire dinner trying to remember the spell for turning someone into a wart covered toad. It took everything in me not to turn him into dust the second he said you looked sexy in that dress.”

“What? He never said anything like that.”, you questioned but Yoongi just pointed to his head and you knew he must’ve read Jin’s mind.

“Y/N I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. Bellamy, she’s….she’s an important part of my past but that’s it. She’s my past. We needed to talk about some things but none of it affected you do I didn’t bring it up. Plus, she had her chance with me and blew it. Besides…I kind of already like someone else.”, he smiled seeing the way your eyes lit up.

“You like me?”, you asked.

“Nope”, he teased before kissing your hand, “Y/N I love you. I’m sorry I never said it. I was scared that if I said it out loud then it would make it all too real and there’d be a bigger possibility of loosing everything. I tried to show you in other ways but I guess it wasn’t enough.”

You squeezed his hand feeling bad that you had been so focused on hearing him say it that you didn’t notice every little thing he did to show you that he loved you instead.

“I’m not great with words but I promise I’ll try to tell you more often how much I love you.”

You smiled as his lips tickled your neck.

He pushed you back down onto the bed.

“I love you Y/N” *kiss on on the lips*

“I love you Y/N” *kiss on the neck*

“I love you Y/N” *kiss on your chest*

“I love you Y/N and I’m going to make you forget that Kim Seokjin exists because you’re mine and only mine and don’t you ever think about touching another man like that again.” *kisses started moving lower and lower down your body until your hands were tangled in his long hair.

You were busy giggling as he removed your shirt before quickly going back to peppering your body with more kisses in between declarations of I love you’s. You didn’t think you would ever get tired of hearing those three little words fall from his heavenly magical lips.

[bunnybuunn]

Holiday spirit.

Summary: Agatha hates Christmas, but she loves little!reader too much to refuse celebrating it with her.

Warnings: Age regression, none!

Agatha was sitting on the couch while you were busy putting up Christmas decorations. It wasn’t a secret that Agatha hated Christmas. She had never celebrated it, since it wasn’t a common thing for witches to do. However, it wasn’t the exact reason for her hatred. The Christmas holiday was bringing too many positive emotions to some people, and Agatha had gotten sick every time, seeing those assholes with happy faces. 

So when you came up to her, offering to celebrate Christmas with you, Agatha meant to say no. 

She really wanted to say no. 

But when she saw your beautiful puppy eyes, she knew that she just wouldn't be able to refuse. 

And that is exactly how she found herself on the couch, unpacking new decorations that she had bought to see you happy. When you finished decorating the Christmas tree with the beautiful purple wreath, you turned around to look at the Agatha. 

 

„Do you like it, Mama?”

 

You asked, hoping that she was enjoying it just as much as you did. Agatha let out a sigh, raising her eyes from the box that she was opening. Her gaze softened when she saw a big smile and the proud expression on your face. It wasn’t a very hard task to do, but you did it perfectly. 

Agatha got up from the couch and approached you, leaving all those boxes and decorations behind. It wasn’t the main part of celebrating the Christmas for her, and it most definitely wasn’t the reason why she accepted your offer. The main part was you, and your happiness was all that mattered to her. Agatha crouched down in front of you, looking at you for a second before leaning closer to give you a soft kiss on the forehead. 

 

„It’s perfect, bunny. You’re such an artist.”

 

You giggled at her words and kissed your mama back, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. Agatha smiled, petting your head before getting up and giving your work a last admiring look. 

Agatha looked down once again when she felt you tugging on her arm. You were looking up, holding a left piece of wreath in your hands. 

 

„What’s wrong, little one?”

 

She asked, raising an eyebrow. You pointed your finger at the top of the tree that wasn’t decorated. Agatha smirked and took decorations from your hands. It was obvious to her that you just couldn’t reach the top of the tree, therefore you couldn’t decorate it.

 

„Mama, I’m too small!”

 

She chuckled at your complaints, easily putting Wreath where it has to be by using her magic. It was funny watching you pout every time. Agatha liked to sometimes remind you how small you exactly were. 

However, your pouty face turned happy when you saw a fully decorated Christmas tree. 

 

„I know. It’s okay to be little, bunny.”

 

Agatha said, waiting for you to say something back or maybe argue a little. Her eyes widened when instead of doing that, you just reached out your hands, asking to be picked up. The witch nodded, instantly picking your small body up from the floor. 

You put your head on her shoulder, resting against Agatha’s body. The smell of her perfume and gingerbread cookies that she had baked earlier made you relax. A minute later, your eyes were closed, and you were slowly falling asleep while Agatha sat down on the couch, putting you on her lap and making sure that you were in a comfortable position for a little nap.

She caressed your back with her fingernails slowly, listening to the sound of your calm breathing. You were putting Christmas decorations on for a couple of hours, running around the room. No wonder why you fell asleep so quickly. 

After the hundreds of years of her long life, Agatha lost her faith in miracles, but she had to admit that your appearance in her life was a true Christmas wonder. 

Taglist: @tinylilacbun @aew-regression-cove @hikyiwid

[gothsoyl]

┊┊┊⁺ ⁺ DECEMBER CHALLENGE

"A treatment" +18

lenny busker x reader

word count: 1,3k

summary: you're in a mental hospital because of your anxiety and panic attacks. she's your... you don't know how to call her. maybe she's your buddy here since she was the first who offered you some kind of comfort. she lets you take her dessert and listen to music in her headphones.

to be honest, you didn't see any point in going to a psychiatric hospital. you were just a little anxious... just a couple of panic attacks a month. that's not a cause for concern, is it? for a while, you really thought that's what most people face.

it wasn't until things got worse that you finally listened to your psychiatrist's persuasions. he said it would be better this way. he said they'd help you there. and you agreed.

but did you have any other choice? your anxiety didn't really allow you to work, and you were afraid to go outside for fear of another panic attack. not to mention that you were also afraid to be at home, because if you had a panic attack, you would be left alone.

everything was strange in the psychiatric hospital – there were strange people here, even those who were treated here laughed at. and you felt sorry for them, even though you couldn't help them.

one of the first days, you were sitting in the cafeteria for lunch. a man in a wheelchair is sitting in front of you, viscous saliva is flowing from his mouth, and no matter how disgusting this sight might be, you couldn't bring yourself to tear your eyes away and start eating.

and, let’s just say, you didn't have much appetite after that.

“oh my God.”

you flinch when you suddenly hear a woman's voice next to you. you didn't even notice how she sat next to you.

“what do you think he ate that makes his saliva so viscous?”

you swallow nervously and look first at the man and then at the woman next to you. she's tapping out a strange rhythm with her fingers on the cassette player and looking at you with a strange twinkle in her eyes, and everything inside you is sinking with panic.

and what should you tell her? you don't want to seem weird or anything... but is it weird at all to try to look normal in a psychiatric hospital? 

“I don't know...” you finally shrug and look at the cherry pie on the table. for some reason, you feel strangely embarrassed next to her, and the man opposite has long since left your thoughts.

“are you going to finish eating, or should I continue talking about his saliva?” the girl puts her hand on the table and supports her cheek with it, looking at you at the same time so attentively and so indifferently.

you're about to nod, but you glance at her headphones and cassette player.

“if you let me listen to music,” a slight smile touches your lips and the girl opposite laughs loudly and pretentiously, and you already think that you have said too much. but the she finally calms down and takes off her headphones, putting them on the table along with the player. you chuckle and slide her a plate with a piece of pie, concluding your agreement.

***

lenny busker.

you learned her name after a couple of weeks of your communication. for some reason, every time you asked what her name was, she changed the subject, or told you to call her whatever you wanted. 

It pissed you off, but you didn't really argue. you loved her company after all.

she was funny and constantly calmed you down when you had a panic attack – she just sat next to you and when you felt a little better, she gave you her headphones and turned on some old song that you hadn't heard in a hundred years.

you felt better with her. It's like everything was really okay with you, even if you're both not quite “normal.”

***

one night you woke up to the creaking of your own bed. you immediately tensed up, feeling a sudden wave of anxiety, and tried to get up to see what was going on, but immediately felt someone's hand on your shoulder and a quiet, familiar whisper, “shh... it's just me.”

you immediately freeze, not knowing what to do or how to behave.

“what are you doing here?” you ask quietly as she did and want to look at her, but she squeezes your shoulder harder, not allowing you to turn around. your throat gets dry and you don't even know what's going on. so many bad thoughts fill your head, but you try to get rid of them, telling yourself that lenny would never hurt you.

you lick your lower lip when her free hand wraps around your waist and pulls you closer to her. her hot body is pressed against your back and she leans so close that you can feel her breath on your skin.

“I just decided to check if you were okay,” her voice is saturated with playfulness and she gently bites your earlobe, making you shudder unconsciously. 

“I'm fine,” you say, and your whole face starts to burn red with shame and excitement. you're not entirely sure that your psychiatrist was talking about it when he sent you to a mental institution.

“I see,” lenny hums, and her lips slowly slide over your neck, leaving wet kisses, “just relax and we'll start the treatment.”

you can feel your body slowly starting to relax under lenny's gentle and assertive touches, even if your brain is still sounding the alarm. you're used to it – your brain is always on alert and afraid of everything, even if it's something minor or something you've done a hundred times before. It pisses you off. you're tired, so you don't resist.

you'd be lying if you said you'd never thought about what it would be like to kiss lenny. you're lying if you say you don't want her at a time when you can literally feel her heartbeat.

you close your eyes and try to push away the annoying thoughts. a sigh escapes your lips when lenny's fingers get under your t-shirt, scratching the delicate skin with her nails and squeezing your breast until it aches pleasantly. her lips are still exploring your neck, leaving barely noticeable hickeys and biting in some places only to run her tongue later.

your body shudders as she slowly pulls off your panties and the cool air touches your bare skin. lenny just grunts and nuzzles your hair at the back of your neck, inhaling your scent.

“I could do this for days on end...”

she laughs low, her fingers moving between your folds, collecting all the moisture, and you just bite your lip, trying not to moan at her every touch. you'd like to answer her, but you're afraid it might be louder than you planned. and the last thing you want is for the paramedics to come running at the noise and find you like this.

“come on...” you squeeze out such weak words, but it's enough for lenny, who slowly begins to insert her fingers into you, teasing and not letting you fully feel her. you move your hips, trying to speed up the process, but she doesn't let you – she presses you to the bed with her free hand and continues to tease. her movements are slow and measured, and you're one second away from begging her. 

“please, lenny...” you whimper, burying your face in the pillow, your own fingers grab the blanket out of desperation, and only then do you begin to feel the brutal thrusts. lenny whispers something in your ear, but you can't make out what it is.

you feel too good at this moment and you don't have a single thought in your head. just lenny's fingers, stretching you from the inside out, forcing you to grab the pillow with your teeth just to keep from moaning.

the bed starts to creak even more, and you move your hips towards it, before your walls contract for the last time, hugging lenny's fingers and your body begins to tremble from orgasm. you're breathing fast and hard, and your legs are still shaking from everything that happened, even after lenny pulls his fingers out of you with a wet sound.

she doesn't press you to the bed anymore, but even so, you can't turn to her – the treatment went so well that you no longer have the strength.

only for the second session.

[trustmypoison]

The Third Love

Yunho x female reader Requested? Yes! Request: ‘friends to lovers ateez yunho fic 🥺💞’ Word count: 4k

The Three Love Theory The first love: the one that teaches you what love even is.  The second love: the hard love, the one that teaches you a lot of lessons.  The third love: the unexpected love, the one that’s meant to last. 

Yunho doesn’t know if he believes in love. 

He sees it and hears about it all the time. It’s a couple on the street that look totally head over heels for each other. Or it’s one of his friends wearing a dopey, lovesick expression after a date or simply receiving a text. Or it’s the hundreds of romcoms out there that were surely inspired by something real. He knows others feel it. But every run-in he’s had with love has left him feeling bitter and perhaps sometimes a little more hollow than when he started. 

He met you four years ago. You’re a hopeless romantic and love the idea of dating. He thinks that’s probably one of the reasons why you and San get along so well sometimes - it’s your shared love for love. San has known you for a long time but sort of lost contact when he left home to pursue being an idol. 

Then, one day San was overjoyed to find out that you’d taken a job here in Seoul and he couldn’t wait to reconnect and introduce you to his group members that had become a sort of family away from home. Yunho felt the stirring of something right away when he met you, but couldn’t quite put a name to it. 

You became a fixture in the dorms quickly. There were many nights that they’d come home from a late practice or recording and find you on the couch with some snacks having made yourself comfortable while waiting for them. Not a single one of them would ever say anything about it, typically joining you to unwind. 

On one of these occasions, the topic had turned to dating. Mingi was recovering about a recent breakup, one that had hurt quite a bit. You’d simply said, “it’s a second love then.” You’d been met with quite a few questioning glances and you explained. 

The first love was ideal. It’s the one that you get swept up in fast by, and it might fizzle out just as fast but you’ll never forget it because it’s your first. 

The second is the hard love. The one that you come away from learning a lot about yourself and others. It’ll hurt, but you’ll be better for it in the long run. You say this breakup is Mingi’s hard love. The acknowledgment, or maybe even just being to put a name to it as if it’s a universal experience, seems to make Mingi feel better and that was really the whole point of the conversation. 

You sigh and shrug about the third when asked. You say it’s supposedly the unexpected love. The one you didn’t realize you needed and it’s usually the one that lasts. You even look a little perplexed at the thought, because how do you find something unexpected?

Yunho’s in the same boat as you. You can’t go looking for unexpected. You have to wait for it to find you. 

~

Yunho knows you for only a couple years before it clicks. You hadn’t dated much before moving to Seoul. There were a few ‘super casual’ boyfriends as you call them - guys that asked you out and were nice enough, but you didn’t feel much for them. You’d agreed to the dates that you went on because there was no reason not to, but you didn't feel any particular way about things not working out. 

Your first love comes in the form of a guy named Junseo. He’s a new coworker of yours and Yunho distinctly remembers how giddy you were to tell San about him the day you met him. The next week, you’re even more excited to tell him that Junseo asked you out on a date. 

Yunho thinks he’s never seen you so happy, and San even agrees, at least when it comes to dating. It’s confirmed when you say that it’s never felt like this. You’re absolutely starry-eyed about everything Junseo does - the simple dates, the flowers, the gentlemanly behavior, the sex and intimacy. 

You don’t talk about that last part very much, but it’s something the boys tease you about, if only because of how you flush at the mention. Your mood can’t be dampened though, not even when Jongho rolls his eyes and says something like, “yes, he’s supposed to do all of that.”

But your mood does eventually dampen. When asked you shrug it off at first, but the boys press the issue. Junseo is distant lately. You don’t see him much anymore, not even around the office, and some of that effort has began to dwindle. The helpless look in your eyes tugs at Yunho’s heart strings, like you’re watching things slip through your fingers and can’t do anything to stop it. He enjoyed seeing you happy, even if there was some unknown conflict brewing inside of him sometimes. 

Then came the fateful day, you came over to the dorms, clearly upset. Junseo had gotten another job in another city and would be moving promptly. You said he apologized for the surprise, but he didn’t want to discuss it with you without some solid plans. This lights a fire under Yunho, as well as a few other members, because it sure sounds like he held onto that information so he could hang on to you in case this job fell through. 

San simply bundles you up in a blanket on the couch and feeds you ice cream while a romcom plays on the TV. Yunho simmers in anger that he can’t quite decipher all night. 

~

Your second love comes in the form of a guy named Siwoo. Even Yunho thinks he's pretty charming the few times he's met him. In private, you admit that you think he’s the third love because of how he seemed to come out of thin air and he’s kind of everything you ever wanted. 

You met him at the florist. He was there picking up flowers for his mother and immediately introduced himself and asked to get to know you. You were starry-eyed for everything about him too, but the more the boys heard about him, the more they weren’t sure about this. 

He worked crazy hours for an office employee and the most convenient time for you to see him was late at night. He’d come to your apartment in a suit and tie, and it was convincing. But at best, he was a workaholic that needed to take a vacation or two and leave at 5pm like most people, and at worst, he was doing something else with his time before he called you just before midnight a few times a week. 

Then there were the crazy amount of business trips. He’d disappear for weeks at a time, claiming to be super busy and unable to even send a text, only to reappear like there hadn’t just been radio silence. You defend him, claiming he’s just incredibly hard working. But within the group (and not around you), the boys debated if this was a red flag disguised as a hardworking nature. Yeosang argued that while he still wasn’t crazy about Siwoo, Ateez themselves kept some crazy schedules. Was that a red flag too? Wooyoung countered that as busy as he was, his phone was on him nearly 24/7 and he had moments to send a ‘Hi, how’s your day’ text at the very least, so to him it was a red flag. The group was divided on this.

And it should have been a red flag. The rest of the boys were busy and you and Yunho went out to grab some dinner. And who would you see but Siwoo?

But he’s with another woman, who’s wearing a big, sparkly ring and looks totally in love. They’re obviously on a date, and it’s not a new thing, judging by how he's wearing a ring too.

Yunho gets your food to go and lets you cry in the car. You say between sobs that he was supposed to be in Japan. And now you’re coming to terms as you let out a seemingly never ending steam of tears that you were a fool. The late night visits must have been him sneaking away from his partner. The long business trips were more than likely him having prior commitments with his partner and the radio silence was him attempting not to get caught. And those flowers he was buying when you met him? Probably not for his mother at all now that you think about it. 

Yunho lets you lean into him and cry for what feels like hours. At one point, he even pulls you half into his lap, if only because your sobs seem to ease the closer he holds you as he rubs your back soothingly. He hates it. And he hates Siwoo. 

But this is when two things click. Siwoo is your second love - the hard love that comes with lessons, and perhaps some trust issues in the future. Not the third love that you hoped he’d be. 

And Yunho can identify his feelings swirling in his gut now. It’s love, but to what degree and of which kind he’s not certain. And perhaps a little bit of jealousy is swirling too. 

~

You take a while to get over Siwoo. After you cried in his car, Yunho took you back to the blessedly empty dorm and helped you craft a breakup text between bites of reheated food, complete with the news that you know he’s been two-timing (or more, but it’s not worth finding out). Then you block him. You cry some more that night and your mood is impacted for weeks. 

You ask Yunho to not tell the whole story to the boys, lest they be out for blood. Yunho raises an eyebrow at you because he’s out for blood, but eventually relents, sticking to the story that you feed the others. It wasn’t going to work out and that’s all Yunho knows. That doesn’t stop the boys, particularly San, from pressing Yunho about it individually, since this breakup appeared to happen overnight while Yunho was with you. Yunho keeps his promise, though he’s still bitter about how things went for you and would love nothing more than to start an angry mob on your behalf. 

The surprise for Yunho is that his group members’ looks turn sly the moment your mood seems to lift. You leave the room and Wooyoung is pinning him with a look. “So, how long have you been into her?”

Yunho plays dumb. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“I mean that you guys have gotten exceptionally close since she broke up with that demon,” Wooyoung says. They don’t dare utter Siwoo’s name in the dorms or around you. It’s not just because of what your reaction might be. It’s on sight for any of them if they ever run into Siwoo, even if they don’t all know the whole story. You were hurt and that was all that mattered to them. 

Wooyoung continues, “You guys spend a lot of time together now, that’s all.” Wooyoung tries to seem innocent with this observation, but Yunho recognizes the mischief in his friend’s eyes. 

Yunho raises an eyebrow. “You spend just as much time with her. Are you into her?”

Wooyoung shrugs casually. “Sure, I’d date her. But I won’t step on your toes, don’t worry.” He looks so smug as the conversation shifts when you come back into the room. 

Yunho wonders how transparent he is. And maybe what they’re actually seeing, because he has no idea what it looks like on the surface. He can barely define what’s below the surface. 

~

Things keep shifting, or at least they do for Yunho. He is closer with you, not just in how much you both talk and spend time together, but physically as well. It happens so gradually that he barely realizes it happened. 

You go out with the boys to a club or bar, and he’s the one you hook your hand with to make sure you both stay with the group. 

You’ve basically claimed his passenger seat, and he doesn’t think anything of it to send his group members to the backseat. It starts as a ‘ladies, first’ sort of thing, but your name might as well be on the seat because he starts to feel weird about anyone else being in it. 

If you need to get something off a high shelf, he’s the first one you look at. Not that it matters, because he’s already approaching before you even look at him. He also doesn’t think anything of coming up behind you and placing a hand on your hip or waist as he gets what you need, his front pressed against your back. He really doesn’t mean anything by it, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it most of the time because it feels so natural. 

And he really doesn’t mean anything by it when the group is piled up in one of the dorm living rooms to watch a movie or play a video game and he pulls you into his lap to keep you from sitting on the floor. His hands find your hips and pull you down, arms folding around your waist when you fall into him. It happens in the blink of an eye. 

He doesn’t realize right away that he does any of this 99% of the time, and you show next to no reaction so he doesn’t think you realize either. But his group members do. What tips him off about how often these little things happen is the look his group members give him. He pulls you into his lap at the table when they’ve ran out of seats and Hongjoong is smiling and raising an eyebrow at him. Or he kicks Wooyoung to the back seat of his car and Wooyoung playfully rolls his eyes and mumbles something about preferential treatment. Or when you don’t think anything of sleeping over in Yunho’s bed with him, Seonghwa kind of looks like he might be planning a wedding. 

Once Yunho realizes where things are going, it petrifies him. He doesn’t want to be another first or second love for you. And he wonders what kind of love you’d be for him, because he’s been burned too. He’s not sure if he even wants to cross that boundary at all and risk the friendship you two have built. But he’s helpless to stop the way things are going now as the lines get a little blurrier with each passing day. 

~

San is the one to truly corner him about it. “What’s happening with you and Y/N?” 

Yunho raises an eyebrow. “Nothing? We’re friends.”

San narrows his eyes, nodding, though Yunho thinks it’s probably not out of agreement. San points to himself. “I’m friends with her. And I recognize that I’m pretty touchy. But there’s a whole new level to what’s going on with you guys.” Yunho stares, not really sure what to say. San purses his lips. “You know, I’d be fine with it, right? Not that I think you care much about approval, but we’d all be happy. Thrilled, really.”

“But why?” Yunho finds himself asking, even though questioning at all would make him run the risk of being found out. 

“Because it’s unexpected,” San shrugs. Yunho gives him a blank look and San rolls his eyes. “The three love theory. It’s unexpected for both of you, obviously, because you guys don’t even realize that you already act like a couple.”

Yunho shrugs and says he doesn’t know, which is the only genuine answer he has. 

~

The thing is, once he sees it, he can’t unsee it. It starts to eat him alive when he realizes how often his fingers twitch to reach out to you. Or how he’s always got you in his periphery, even if you aren’t the center of attention in the conversation. Or how he just assumes you both have plans when he’s free, and feels let down if you have prior commitments. 

For a while, there’s a suffocating element to it - this drive of unknown origin to be attached to you 24/7. Yunho’s a friendly, social person, but even he likes his space sometimes, and you are the biggest exception to the rule that he’s ever ran into. 

But then, he notices how it’s you that initiates things too. You’re the one that grabs his hand in a crowd. You’re the one that looks to him for help with something. You’re the one that asks for rides places. 

And like tonight during game night and the dorm, you’re the one to wedge yourself in between Yunho and Mingi's seats and fall into Yunho’s lap. He lets you, because of course he does. His fingers were itching for that spot on your hips to pull you in anyway. 

You’ve warned that you’ve had a long day and are pretty tired. So it’s not a surprise to anyone when you tap out of the next round at some point. It is somewhat of a surprise at how you curl up into Yunho’s chest. He plays a couple more rounds before tapping out as well and sitting back. You’re out like a light, unaware of any game night chaos happening around you. 

Hongjoong is giving him a look. Most of his group members not engrossed in the game are. “This is getting out of hand,” Hongjoong teases. 

“What is?” Yunho plays dumb, far more aware of what this might look like than he ever has been before. 

Hongjoong gives him an unimpressed look. “You’re not doing yourself any favors by dodging this. You need to start being honest.”

He feels all eyes on him besides yours now, game forgotten. “You guys are so nosy,” Yunho admonishes, though it does little good. 

“Remember what I said,” San muses before moving on to another topic. 

Yunho eventually carries you to bed and settles you in under the covers. He does remember what San said, but while lying next to you in bed, he’s not sure what to do with that. He lets you curl up into his side and is helpless to doze off before he figures it out. 

Perhaps he might never figure it out. 

~

You’ve met somebody. 

Ryung is a guy you met on a dating app. Yunho is a little bit crushed to find out that you downloaded them in the first place but knows he has no room to say anything, so he bites his tongue. 

He doesn’t miss the look at his group members give him here and there as you tell them about how you matched with Ryung and had been messaging with him for a few days now. He bites his tongue about that as well. You’ve taken your time getting past Siwoo, and it was only a matter of time before someone else would come along and show interest. 

Ryung is trying to meet up - for a date, for a coffee, for a hookup, you aren’t totally sure, which is why you haven’t committed to anything yet. You say there’s some security in just sticking to messages and sort of getting to know each other right now. Yunho swallows harshly because what’s not secure about him? Right here. Sitting next to you. 

You don’t notice that Yunho’s not said much tonight until it’s time for bed. He doesn’t say anything as you both go to his room and get ready to settle in, and you ask him if he’s okay. He says ‘of course’.

Yunho lays in bed next to you and lets you curl into his side like you always do, arm wrapped around you. It feels like he has to say something, so he tries to be casual. “I didn’t know you were on dating apps.”

You grip his t-shirt a little bit. “I wasn’t until recently. One of my coworkers encouraged it, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt.”

Yunho hums. He supposes it doesn’t hurt if you aren’t him. “Going on a date then?”

You shrug against him. “I don’t know. Do you think I should?” 

He doesn’t know why this question, out of all things you two have ever said or done, feels like standing at a precipice. It’s so risky to say anything besides, “yes, of course,” but he feels like he’s about to burst. 

“Selfishly?” He hesitates. You lift your head up to look at him and he’s helpless to not meet your eyes. “No. I wish you wouldn’t.”

You look confused, but perhaps not as confused as he expected you to be. Maybe you realized how things had shifted lately too. “Selfishly?” Yunho just nods, combing back your hair. “Why?”

Yunho likes to think he’s pretty brave, and perhaps even a little reckless sometimes, but this might even be too much for him. His mouth feels a little thick when he admits, “I don’t really like to watch you date other people. I wish it was me.”

Your eyes flare incrementally. You place your hand against his cheek and the whole thing is sickeningly sweet in a way that Yunho isn’t familiar with. “How long have you felt this way?”

Yunho shrugs. “I’m not sure, really. It kind of crept up on me.”

You give him a little smile. “Me too.” 

Like a lot of things with you, Yunho is helpless, so he leans in and slowly kisses you. It’s something he gets lost in, especially when you kiss him back. He only stops when he’s breathless. 

You sigh deeply against his lips. “What now?” 

“Delete your dating apps. I’m taking you out tomorrow.” 

You smile, rolling to grab your phone, unlocking it and handing it to him. “You do the honors.” 

And what an honor it is to hit the little X on each of those apps. 

~

You and Yunho try to be discreet at first. On the surface, not a lot changes in front of the group members. But the thing is, there’s no such thing as privacy in the dorm. 

Yunho has you in his lap and he’s been kissing you for what feels like hours and hopes there’s no end in sight. He could spend the rest of his life like this. 

The end in sight is Mingi barging into the room. You pull back from Yunho at the intrusion, but to his relief don’t try to scramble off of him or anything. You both pin Mingi with a look of irritation, though it doesn’t matter because Mingi is reeling back out of the room with his eyes covered, slamming the door behind him. Screams echo behind him. 

You give Yunho a mildly entertained look from where you’re perched on his lap, hands clasping his shoulders. “I guess the secret's out.”

Yunho laughs, fingers gliding up and down your back. “I’m not sure how much of a secret it was to begin with, baby.”

You laugh and lean into his lips again, but it’s interrupted by the loud announcement from the other room. Now the whole group must know. They’re cheering. Yunho stands up, placing you on the ground and walking to the bedroom door. “Are we facing the music now?” You tease, wondering if you should follow him. 

Yunho snorts, flipping the lock and coming back to you. “Not a chance.” As you giggle against his lips, he does think he believes in love now. 

[wisecura]

Shine

Yuji x idol f!reader (short)

summary: You're a famous pop idol that Yuji adores. what more is there to say? An: Just a concept I was thinking about writing for soon. Let me know what you think. I prefer golden retriever type yanderes so here we go.

Warning: obsessive behavior, unhealthy behavior, stalking, please read at your own discretion

You met Yuji while on tour about a year ago.

You’ve met plenty of people. Hundreds if not thousands. From all walks of life. But that pink headed ball of pure admiration was definitely one that stood out. You could say with utmost certainty that Yuji Itadori was your most devout fan.

He showed up at every concert, purchased tons of your merch, went to almost every fan meet and greet. He was so consistent, you knew him my name at that point.

It was cute at first. That sparkling energy, those lovestruck puppy dog eyes, and that dopey smile he always gave you. Always energetic and happy to see you. Begging you to flash you killer pose he’d seen so often on stage.

It was like—from the second he met you—he was hooked. He just seemed to absolutely adore you. Knew all of your songs, followed every possible social media, and even led a few fan clubs.

After that year, he became much bolder. During your meet and greets he’d often ask for a picture, where he’d shyly pull you into a side hug—flashing a peace sign and bright smile. Now this wasn’t strange, it was something that was always offered in the meet n greet bundle.

Only now his hand seemed to cling on a little more tightly, not willing to let go quite as fast. You’d noticed his breathing picked up and his face flushing. And by the time he actually let go, you were almost a little red.

You’d shrugged it off—something you normally wouldn’t have done if it had been anyone else. Normally baring them from the next meet and greet just for safety sake. But you let it slide. After all, Yuji was a consistent face. Someone you were somewhat familiar with.

But you’d noticed you also started getting pages from the front desk of your pent house apartment more often. There’d been multiple visits from a hooded figure, loitering at the elevators. Trying—but failing to jam the button that lead straight to your floor. Thank fuck for key card access.

You’d been concerned, obviously. And what made it even scarier was the frequency of visits coupled with the lack of any actual resolution. They weren’t caught. Always slipping away just quick enough to miss the security guards.

And then the night came. First it was the knocks. Heavy. Loud. And frantic. You’d been too scared to open the door, immediately searching for your phone to call the police should you need to. Then making your way over to the intercom.

Before you could reach it, the knocks stopped.

This freaked you out enough to grab a kitchen knife—maybe dial the front desk. You’d barely reached the kitchen before you heard it.

Bam! Bam! BAM!

Your head spun around only to find someone’s foot through your front door. You, like any sane person, fucking panic—running to grab that knife before you didn’t have a chance.

You get there just in time to see that hooded figure standing at your kitchen entryway.

And who would you fucking guess, other than Yuji Itadori.

“Y-yuji?”

A huge grin spread across his face at your words. You’d remembered his name. A small pink blush crossed his cheeks. His eyes devoid of much else other than glassiness that reflected you. Damn near cold and dead.

That same lovesick grin he’d worn at every one of your meet and greets.

You couldn’t gauge his next moves, but you knew it wouldn’t be good. You kept your knife firmly in from of you, the only protection saving you from this lunatics psychotic break.

He looked ready to tackle you. And you weren’t sure you’d be able to take him. Something you normally wouldn’t pay attention to—wouldn’t have much reason to.

The dude was fucking built. At least twice as wide and a head whole taller than you.

And he started walking, slow—long strides.

“S-stay back!—“ you swing your knife—albeit a little clumsily. You definitely weren’t a fighter.

He stopped just out of your swinging distance, those same dead eyes staring down at you. His grin somewhat fading, an expression of worry—maybe confusion crossing his face.

“You don’t need to do that.” He makes a grab for your knife tats still latched in your trembling grip. “You’re gonna hurt yourself, cut it out—“

“Stay back!!”

“Hey cut it out—“ his grin falling completely, his expression growing more and more impatient by the second.

His hand shoots out grabbing your wrist with surprising strength. The knife falling between you two. And before you could think of even attempting to reach for it—he’d kicked it away.

“See? What were you thinking?” he muttered, tugging you into a crushing hug, his arms wrapping around you like a vice. His grip was desperate, clinging to you as if letting go would kill him. “Please, please don’t hate me,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Let’s just go home. I’ll make everything better, I promise.”

You were trembling, frozen in his embrace, the weight of his words sinking into your chest like stones. You didn’t know what to say, what to do—every instinct screamed to run, but his arms refused to let you move.

All you could think was how much you wished you’d never met Yuji Itadori.

come home

[stubz]

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" whispered the Beerix.

"Your communicator doesn't have service on Earth and my phone is dead. I need to charge it somewhere and this is the closest place that won't ID us." the human looked through the window into the crowded pub searching for an outlet.

"Just...hood up, hat pulled down, and stay close to me." she whispered as they reached the front of line.

"How do you know they won't ID us-?"

"Two people? Alright, come on in!" smiles the doorman.

The human and beerix walk in and are hit with body heat, loud music, dozens of loud voices, and a wave of bodies.

"Told you, now come on, there's an outlet over there."

Pushing and shoving their way through the crow the duo makes it to the back of the pub where a table and some stools are. Quickly the human takes out a charger and plugs in her phone.

"Great, now we just need to wait."

"For how long?"

"At least 10 minutes so we'll make it to the nearest base."

"I hate it here. It's loud and...smelly." wrinkles the beerix's snout.

"I know...here I'll buy you something to eat. Want a drink too?"

"...fine. Just be quick."

"Alright, remember, hoo-"

"Hood up, hat pulled down, yeah yeah I know Kim, you only told me a hundred times tonight."

"...sorry, I'll get you that food and drink!"

He watched as his friend disappeared into the crowd and huddled into chair. Every couple of seconds he checked the phone hoping that'd it'd miraculously be fully charged so they could go.

"Come to Earth they said, it'll be fun they said...why couldn't we just have stayed on the ship and go to the new year's party like usual?"

"Excuse me mate? Can we sit here?" he whipped his head up to see three humans standing before him.

"Uh..."

"It's just that there's no where ta sit and it looks like it's just you and friend so could we?"

"...sure." he forced out knowing it'd draw more attention to say no and that more people would just ask this very same question later.

"Thanks mate! I'm Arty, this is Celia, and this is Sean. What's your name?"

"...Quip."

"I love that name! And your hat! It's so gorgeous, where'd you buy it?"

"Oh my god Celia look at his eyes! They're shiny like...like flashlights."

"Don't mind them, they're a bit drunk right now." Laughed Arty.

"No worries..."

"Real nice hat though, never seen a design like before."

"Thanks...it's foreign."

"From where???" lean in the two Irish.

"Knock it off you two or I'll knock some sense into you."

"I...it's from..."

"Sweden! Hi nice to meet you, I'm Kim. Got you fries and a Guinness." she slides over to her friend.

"Oh lovely choice! They got great Guinness here!"

"I know, got one for myself."

The three Irish began to talk amongst themselves while Quip grabbed the attention of his friend and crewmate.

"We gotta go, now." he hissed.

"We can't until finishing our food and drinks, leaving without doing so would raise suspicion." she whispers back smiling at the three other humans.

"Two of them are drunk and the sober one wouldn't care."

"Maybe or maybe he would since as the only sober one he's on high alert right now. Besides I only have 8%. We need to wait now drink your Guinness and eat your fries."

"...you didn't even get one of those tiny drinks I like."

"Those are shots and this will last longer and tastes better."

"Better..."

[Four Guinness later]

"HE WAS A SKATER BOY SHE SAID SEE YOU LATER BOY, HE WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER!

SHE HAD A PRETTY FACE BUT HER HEAD WAS UP IN SPACE, SHE NEEDED TO COME BACK TO EAARRTH!!" screamed Quip, Celia and Sean, the three drunkenly dancing and singing to the song playing in the pub. Somehow Quip's hat ended up on Celia along with his hood on Sean, his pointed ears, snout and grey skin out for everyone to see.

"I can't believe how good your friend's cosplay is."

"I know...he loves Dragon Ball." smiles Kim thankful that Celia thought Quip said he was Beerus instead of Beerix.

"Yeah killer Beerus cosplay, too bad he couldn't get purple paint though."

"MATE HOW DO YOU NOT KNUR DIS ONE?!"

"I KNOW IT NOW!"

"OI SHUDDUP IT'S THE BESHT PART!"

"CAUSE I'M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY! YEAH I'M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY! LISTEN TO IRON MAIDEN BABY!!"

Kim laughed as she watched her friend continue to poorly sing to the songs her and most of everyone else here grew up with.

"Quip! Quip! it's time to go!"

"Don't wanna! It's fun here!"

"Quip, Kal and Glip are probably worried about you! My phone is charged up, let's go!"

"Nooo!"

"Aw listen, listen to your friend mate, gotta get home to your family..."

"Yeah, don't wanna worry 'em. My girlfriend would call tha police if I didn't check in with her..."

After some more coaxing from Sean and Celia, Quip finally gave in and followed Kim out of the pub.

A phone call and bus ride later the two were soon reunited with the rest of their crew and soon went back to their ship.

Tomorrow Quip will be banned from drinking for 3 months by his partners and the Captain as he was trending on social media due to Celia and Sean posting the selfies and videos they took with him...which he drunkenly agreed to while his hat and hood were down.

For the rest of the month #IrishBeerus was a popular post.

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

@angstflayer-council 24 hour writing challenge!

prompt: forest | word count: 1,233 | rated: G

The town of Hawkins is laid out weird.

The richest neighborhoods built with maybe a couple hundred yards of forest between them and the Forest Hills trailer park.

“I don’t want to see that rubbish out my window.” Steve’s mother would say as she closed all the blinds at the back of the house come winter. Something beyond the bare trees that Steve could never see, and she didn't want to.

“You be careful in those woods now, Eddie. Don’t wanna see ya gettin’ hurt.” Wayne would warn. Never telling him to stay out, just a “Be careful.” since he knew Eddie would go no matter what.

That couple hundred yards of forest was Steve’s favorite place to go; it was Eddie’s favorite place to go.

At the halfway point between their homes, they made a place all their own. The place they met.

Whenever Steve felt alone, he would go to their spot.

Whenever Eddie felt like a burden, he would go to their spot.

Steve wouldn’t be alone, and Eddie could never be a burden to his friend.

They would play there together in the spring when Eddie would visit for Easter, all summer long when Steve was on break from school (Eddie too, visiting his Uncle for the season). During the short extra hours of Thanksgiving before they would have to go back for dinner. Every bright, freezing day of winter break.

Every day was some sort of adventure, either one that Eddie’s uncle had read to him about from those Ring Lord books he loved, or an adventure all his own! Eddie was always telling some sort of story.

The short hills and valleys became foxholes, sticks and branches were swords and bows, giant spoons to stir a potion of mud and bugs, the walls of a fort just for them.

“Hear ye, Hear ye! Beloved denizens of Harringson county, Fort Steddie is now complete!” Eddie declared loudly, putting the last leafy branch onto the lopsided roof. It was the summer after Eddie officially moved to Hawkins. They were 11.

“Steddie?”  

Eddie jumps down from the tree he’d latched onto to get up to the roof and pushes the short curls he’s managed to grow back since last year off his forehead. “Yeah, like Steve and Eddie mushed together. Duh.”

“Not..Eddeve? Why not just call it Fort Harringson?”

“All options were considered, Stevie,” Eddie assures, holding one palm up, his other hand resting behind him on his lower back. “Steddie had a better ring to it.”

“You have a better ring to it.” Steve teases, running off immediately, Eddie not far behind with his favorite branch-turned-sword.

A scant two years later, Steve and Eddie share their first kiss under the roof of Fort Steddie, in the heart of Harringson County.

Two more finds them nearly coming to blows. 

Eddie embarrassed Steve. On the very first day of High School. Steve doesn’t even fucking remember what it was that Eddie did now, the actual offence lost to time.

The last time he and Eddie were together in those woods?…Wasn’t.

“It’s high school Eddie, I wanted to–to be cool!”

“Well, I think you’re cool. Doesn’t that count for something?”

Eddie’s hair is longer now, it curls under his ears and Steve still remembers how it had felt between his fingers.

“No! ‘Cause you’re not cool! You’re a nerd!” Steve remembers he regretted those words immediately after they left his mouth. No. He regretted them as they were coming out.

Eddie’s jaw had clenched.

“Eddie–”

He turned on his heel and marched back towards his trailer.

“Fine! Walk away! Just like everyone else in my life!” What was he talking about? His parents weren’t around enough to walk away.

Eddie doesn’t look back. He only pauses to grab his backpack where he’d dropped it against a tree.

After that day, Steve feels alone whenever he enters the woods behind his house.

Every day since then, he’s wanted so badly to tear apart that lopsided little fort in the middle of the forest.

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t bear to tear down the only place he’d ever had where he didn’t feel alone.

He couldn’t bear to tear down the place of his first kiss with the man he still loves.

For years, Fort Steddie sits empty. 

Steve and Eddie will both deny ever going back, but of course they had. Always missing each other, in heart and in reality.

It was the first place Steve thought of when Dustin barreled into Family Video looking for Eddie in March of ‘86, but he couldn’t get the words out. His mouth denying his brain’s demands to tell them about their spot in the forest.

So he kept quiet, letting the others figure out where else Eddie might be, promising to check there himself as soon as he had a chance.

Luckily though, they had found Eddie. In Reefer Rick’s boathouse of all places. Steve’s first thought when getting threatened with a broken bottle to the throat (after “Oh thank fuck you’re safe.”) was that it was good Eddie hadn’t hidden at their fort, it was too obvious of a spot.

Much later, while walking through the freezing cold upside-down Hawkins, Robin questions the little shelter they come across when almost to Eddie’s trailer.

“Is this Castle Byers?” She asks, sticking her head into the little door.

“No,” Steve and Eddie say at once.

Robin and Nancy both give them a weird look, but Eddie barrels forward, “We shouldn’t be that far now; I built this in the woods outside my trailer when I first moved in with Wayne.”

Eddie jogs forward to reach them, he and Nancy heading up the group now, Robin trailing behind.

Steve gives the fort a wistful look as he passes, then jogs forward as well, further into the fray.

They push on; they plan, they build weapons, Eddie builds a shield. Dustin copies him.

When Steve, Robin, and Nancy head back towards those same woods, the forest’s sure safety replaced in his gut by pure dread, Eddie stops Steve with an unsure “Hey Steve? Make him pay.”.

Steve loses it.

He stomps back the three steps he’d taken, grabs Eddie by the open flaps of his jacket and vest, and kisses him.

It only takes half a second for Eddie to kiss him back; their lips falling into rhythm as if no time had passed at all.

“What did I just tell you, Eddie?” Steve questions the dumbfounded metalhead under his hands, ignoring Robin and Dustin’s wolf-whistles while zipping up the protective layers his dumb of ass, beloved Eddie was about to leave open to the unforgiving world around him.

He can see how red Eddie’s face is, even in this dark hellscape. “What’d yo– You sa–”

“I said.” Steve emphasizes, pulling up the thick plastic zipper of Eddie’s new vest. “Don’t try to be cute, don’t be heroes.” he hooks his fingers into the armholes of the armored clothing, holding Eddie close. “You can’t help the ‘cute’ part, but you can help the second part.”

Eddie continues to stare at him, dumbfounded.

“Keep him safe, Eddie. Keep yourself safe too.” He looks him over once again. “I’ve been alone in those woods for too damn long. I’d like to keep you around once this is over.” he whispers, smirking at the other man.

"I-I will.."

Steve steps back, walking backward toward the woods, toward the Creel house, “It’s not quite Fort Steddie without the ‘Eddie’, you know.” Eddie’s own smirk climbs onto his face despite his attempts to frown it away.

Steve finally turns, walking away with Robin hanging off his side, no doubt berating him about the…all of that that just happened.

Speaking of: “Holy shit Eddie, what the fuck was all that??”

“Language, Henderson.”

i originally posted this as the shorter angsty-er version but i liked the rest of what i wrote too much not to post the whole thing 😅 so if you saw the first version, i hope you like the additions lmao

[needforspeed161]

Some IceMav head cannons I thought up as I drank my coffee this morning 💙

I absolutely LOVE icemav fics where there’s some soft domestic fluff in the mornings, like whether they’re 25 or 50, they’ll wake eachother up with soft kisses and snuggles.

Mav bringing Ice his coffee just the way he likes it, as they enjoy the morning before they have to get ready for work or (if they’re retired) maybe read the paper together and decide what to do that day. Ice wants to invite the daggers over for a home cooked brunch because even though he’s the COMPACFLT and acts all tough, he wants the younger pilots (their adopted kids) to have a nice home cooked meal every so often. Ice LOVES to cook for them. Plus he knows from years of experience that mess hall food isn’t always the best.

They love having them all over for game nights too, be it monopoly, life, scrabble, whatever game Maverick decides to pull out from his extensive collection (carrier life isn’t that exciting at times so I imagine he collected alot of board games over the years)

His favorite being an old beat up box of operation he and Goose used to play on the ship for HOURS, the gentle sway of the carrier made it all the more challenging and fun.

Ice even remembers getting wrapped up into a couple games with slider as well, he’s sure he lost hundreds of dollars to Maverick and goose with that damn game over the years 😂

They also like to invite the flyboys over for poker nights, barbecues, movies. Whatever they feel like doing that night.

Hollywood and Wolfman and Slider more than happy to come spend the evening with two of their oldest friends. A couple times they were even able to get Merlin, and Sundown over as well.

They held Cougars first grandkids birthday in their backyard. Complete with bouncy house and everything. Even though ice insisted “Maverick darling he’s turning one….i don’t think he’ll need a bounce house…” which was met with “cmon Tom please!”

Maverick ended up playing in it more than the kids did. And when the Daggers began to flow in you know that thing was filled with pilots. Chaos ensued and let’s just say Ice was worried he wouldn’t get the deposit back. But as soon as he seen the happiness on mavericks and the daggers faces his worried just seemed to melt away.

Wolf even managed to drag Hollywood in at one point.

Maverick loves pictures, he has ever since he was a boy and all he had to remember his parents were some photos. Pictures slowly began to fill their walls and countertops over the years. Old ones of his parents, Him and Goose or Goose and Carole holding Bradley when he was a baby.

Younger pictures of him and Ice, graduating Top Gun and several of their carrier missions that followed.

pictures from every single one of the daggers Top Gun graduations. Bob and Natasha’s wedding, Bradley and Jake’s engagement (soon to be wedding)

He and Ices official wedding photos (after almost 30 years once gay marriage was legalized)

Christmas photos of all of them surrounding the tree, they loved having a big family….it made their hearts soar.

[alpaca-clouds]

Trying to figure out Gortash's backstory

As I said before, I am right now very much inspired to write a redemption story for Gortash. Like post-canon, Gortash lives AU (because I still hate that he dies), and he actually gets a chance to redeem himself. Not only like: He turns good, but he actually does something good enough to be considered a redemption. And he does so without dying.

But... Yeah, that story is going to be from Gortash's POV, which means that I very much need to come up with some fillings for the big ass holes that the game leaves in terms of his backstory.

We don't know how old he is, but I would estimate him to be around his late 30s or early 40s. Which means we kinda have like 20 years to fill up.

While the entire timeline of Raphael "buying" him from his parents and him escaping the hell is very vague, he was probably somewhere between 18 and 20 when he got out of the hells. And the exact stuff what happened in between is vague. Even how he escaped the hells is not quite clear. I mean, was Helsink responsible for that? Or how did he get out?

And then he starts to do illegal weapons trading once he is back in Baldur's Gate. Which is fair. I am going to assume that he is actually going to throw some stuff in there that is of his own making, given that he clearly is a tinkerer.

Given Karlach is 30, I do not think he hired her before she was 15, so at max she has worked for him just a couple of years.

I mean, technically those details don't matter. What does matter however is: How does he become a Chosen of Bane, and how does he get into contact with the Dark Urge?

As quite a few people have pointed out: Technically the Dark Urge existing is very confusing given that they have been created by Bhaal and Bhaal was dead for about a hundred years until ten years ago. So unless Durge is ten years old, this does not fully make sense. Sure, technically speaking Durge could be immortal, I guess, but... Well.

See, the issue I see with Gortash is, that I just do not pick him as the religious type. I do not see him going to the Banite church and actually give enough fucks to make himself a name in the church and after some great show of faith getting the status of chosen. I mean, if you talk to him, he just... Ketheric is devoted to Myrkul, sure. And Orin was indoctrinated into the Bhaalist cult from her birth onward. But Gortash? He would follow nearly every god if that god gave him powers. At least that is my reading of him. Sure, the entire tyrant thing plays well with his pompous and kinda narcissistic personality (and I mean this in a neutral way - given how he grew up narcissism in a medical sense is to be expected), but... Like, had Oghma thrown him a boon, he would have served Oghma, right?

So, why is he a chosen?

Usually chosen are either one of two: Either, they are very dedicated to the god and have proofen themselves to them over and over again, or they have something (power, knowledge, influence) that the god is interested in. As I don't see Gortash falling underneath the first umbrella, the second one could be it. Was Bane interested in Gortash maybe, because Gortash had a lot of knowledge about the hells maybe? Was Bane originally interested in the crown or something else that Gortash knew about? That would be one possibility.

Though, there is another one. Because it just so happens that in the lore of Faerûn something happened just 8 years ago, that could have given him chosen status without him doing shit for it. Even though it would also mean, that him being a chosen is almost random. Because 8 years ago the second sundering happened. And during the second sundering for a variety of reasons the gods picked quite a lot of chosen. And yes, that included the Dead Three as well. And a lot of those chosen were in fact not people super dedicated to the gods or anything, but just people who generally aligned with the domain and alignment of the god in question. And I cannot help but wonder: Was Gortash just one of the chosen Bane got from that event?

It would work out fine. Because there is one thing that keeps bothering me: Sure, Gortash kept secrets from Karlach. But she still was his personal bodyguard. And she had no idea that he was aligned with Bane. Which makes me think that indeed he was not a Banite when he sold her off to Zariel.

And yeah, I cannot help myself. The timeline would work out rather well: Gortash becomes a chosen closely prior the events of the second sundering, but after he sold of Karlach. After a bit the Dark Urge (who somehow very much is an adult, because I guess he time travelled or something) finds him. The two hit it off (whether romantically or platonically) and come up with their grand evil scheme. At some point Ketheric joins.

Of course, there is one big hole in that explaination, though: Who are the other people working for Gortash while he just is a black market weapons trader? If he was a Banite it would be easily explainable (other Banites), but like this it leaves open the question: Who are they and what happened to them?

I don't know. I am rambling. But yeah. I like this asshole. And his story is fun to think about.