#maybe the last time i post about this tonight
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
chaoticbardlady99 · 2 days ago
Text
Now and Tomorrow and Everyday After (Sylus x F! Reader) MDNI 18+
Synopsis: In spite of the 'tails' attempts to separate you from Sylus, it only seems to bring the two of you closer.
CW: Fingering, Oral (Female receiving), P in V, Praise Kink, after care, adult themes
Author Disclaimer- I do not own the LADS characters or lore and did use some dialogue from the recent banner's Sylus Card. I do NOT use AI and do not permit anyone else (or any other entity) to copy and advertise my work as their own. Definitely not proof read or edited because I was having “don’t post fear” and just needed to go for it.
Author Note: I made an attempt and this is my first time writing Sylus and posting it so yeah! Thanks for reading- all kind comments, likes, and reblogs are appreciated! Remember, to be kind to yourself and others today! I also high key think Sylus is going to this zone to protect MC from Ever cause he makes mention of that but that's beside the point.
Tumblr media
 *this is my take on the Night of Secrecy Card. I wanted to fill in some gaps*
You pick at your nails nervously under the warm air of the AC. The city of Linkon passes you by- your eyes flickering to Sylus every so often as he drives you both to one of his safe houses. 
 Your nerves are on fire- not from the danger of whatever pot Sylus decided to stir up, but rather the fact that tonight is the night.
 Or so you have decided.
 And the night meaning boning. You want to bone this man hard.
Okay- wait, it’s probably more like make love to, but you aren’t sure where you stand in Sylus’ life or if his feelings are all that deep.
 And would he even be capable of feeling that way towards you? 
 The thought makes that tight ring of nerves turn into a heavy ball in the pit of your stomach. Sylus really means a lot to you and you feel he shares that sentiment, but you have also been wrong before and it ended up just being a friends with benefits situation. You weren’t “girlfriend material” as you often joked with Tara. 
 But he is having you tag along, you think, he didn’t say he didn’t want you around. He just said he was leaving to protect you so maybe-
 “What are you agonizing about over there?”
 Shit.
“If you changed your mind-“
“No!” You say probably too abruptly, “I’m fine- everything is great, better than great even! Just thinking.”
Sylus chuckles and you don’t even have to look at him to know he is seeing right through. He knows you better than anyone at this point and he knows when something is bothering you.
 You would honestly consider Sylus the closest thing to a best friend you could ever have. You can confide in him, depend on him, and you have a lot of fun with him.
 For the most part, you think he has learned to depend on you, confide in you, and he certainly seems to enjoy himself when he is in your company. Luke and Kieran say they can tell when he’s been with you because he’s less trigger happy with the people he’s dealing with (which you’ll take as a win if you need to find one somewhere). 
 Not to mention- the way his hands were splayed along your thighs last night when he sat you on the kitchen counter was mind numbingly intimate. His fingers drew gentle shapes on your bare skin and left goosebumps in their wake. Sylus’ forehead was pressed against your own and his lips mere inches away, but he didn’t kiss you and you have been thinking about that all day. 
 What if he didn’t want to because he’s just trying to lead you on until you are of no use to him? What if all of these nice things and words and actions are all just to make sure you will still help him and resonating won’t be an issue again? 
 “What is it?” His voice is gentle, “maybe I can help you be less… befuddled.”
 You shoot him a look that earns you a laugh, but you can see the genuine concern in his eyes. Sylus has been so invested in hiding you from the worst parts of his world and now that he’s opened up, he’s worried he’s lost you unintentionally and that all the time you have spent together is long forgotten. 
 You shrink slightly into your seat- avoiding his eyes the best you can and you say your question as quietly as you possibly can.
“I didn’t catch that, Kitten.”
 You say it slightly louder now but still not enough and you can feel the deadpan look he is giving you.
“Howdoyouknowifsomeoneisromanticallyinterestedinyou?”
 It’s all a bunch of gibberish, you had been far more confident of your assessment of his feelings when you were both walking and he was holding your hand. That would have been a really natural transition into discovering this question without any anxiety, but now you’ve had time to think about it and overthinking is the enemy of success. 
 And love, evidently. 
 “How they treat you, I suppose.”
 “What do you mean?”
 “Well, sweetie, when someone is interested in you romantically, they may do things like hold your hand, call you pet names,” he says with the slightest bit of humor, “go to the movies, buy you gifts, play the Claw Machine until it’s dark outside and the arcade owner has to finally kick you both out. Maybe even play kitty cards in spite of losing almost every match because their opponent is a cheater.”
“I am not a-“
 Your brain does a hard reset as you begin to realize what he is trying to tell you. 
 Sylus is telling you ‘yes- I am romantically interested in you’ and the dumbest, biggest smile ever on your face. 
“Was that the answer you were looking for?”
 You nod, suddenly feeling shy, “yeah- that was exactly the answer I was looking for.” 
 The rest of the ride is quiet with one of his hands on the steering wheel and the other on your thigh. You watch as the city quickly turns into a distant dream and Sylus’ safe house, not to your surprise, is very very large and it does very little to calm your nerves. 
 “I see owning multiple properties can be quite handy. A smart crow always has a few tricks up his sleeves.”
“The same can be said about having multiple slippers.”
 You turn to him and stick your tongue out playfully, “ha ha, very funny.
“This safehouse doesn’t happen to warm up, does it?” your teeth begin to chatter slightly and your bare legs are littered in goose bumps, “it’s colder than hell in here.”
 Sylus rolls his eyes at you, but begins to walk towards the fire place.
“It is snowing outside.”
 The warm hues of the fire illuminated the room and reveals several boxes scattered about, some opened and others not. The rest of the house looks similar to his main house, but maybe slightly more scaled down. It’s beautiful and it has a great view of Linkon and the mountains behind it. It’s almost easy to forget this is a safe house and not a vacation home.  
 “I’ll leave after dawn. You should stay here for a while.”
 You turn with a scoff, “I know your ‘territory’ is pretty safe, but as I said, a hunter doesn’t like being passive.”
 “Really?”
  You choose to ignore him- knowing all too well that he will suss out your plan to join him on his dangerous little adventure. There isn’t a single thing in the whole world that could convince you to stay here otherwise, but Sylus has his own ways of ensuring things go the way he wants and you don’t feel like waking up handcuffed somewhere for your own safety.
“What’s with all the gifts? I didn’t think you celebrated Christmas.”
 Sylus chuckles, “I don’t, sweetie. I held an… ‘appraisal salon’ not that long ago.
“Would you like to take a look?”
 It honestly is kind of like being in a candy shop, but the candy shop is the black market and instead of delicious treats, they sell guns and while guns are cool (when used appropriately), they certainly aren’t helping you get Sylus any closer to the bedroom than you were five minutes ago. 
“Look at these bad boys!” You hold the unwrapped vintage gun, “this is a classic piece and very difficult to find.”
 Then a stroke of genius occurs.
“Let’s have a contest,” you flash a cheeky grin, “whoever can disassemble their gun first gets to ask the other any question they want.”
“You truly are relentless.”
 And of course Sylus agrees because he’s Sylus and he loves a good challenge. However, you are extremely determined to be the person asking the question and you know this specific gun quite well. You and Caleb learned how to shoot using these guns and you could disassemble it by telling it to.
 The gun is pointed at Sylus’ chin right as he is about to finish putting together his own weapon. You eat up the delicious grin on his face. It makes you feel empowered- he makes you feel empowered.
“First- say the thing.”
He rolls his eyes and gives you a soft smile, “I like your confidence and your determination very much. Now go ahead, ask your question.”
 Uh oh- you hadn’t actually thought that far ahead.
“I’m sleepy.”
 WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW?
 Sylus looks a bit perplexed and you cannot blame him- you need to fix this NOW!
“Can you… tuck me in?”
“I thought a certain relentless hunter would ask about my destination.”
You shrug, “I care more about the present than an answer I won’t get. So will you do it or not?”
 Sylus is suddenly swinging you up into his arms and you yelp in surprise, but it doesn’t seem to get the usual laughing reaction you thought it would. Instead, there is a heat in his eyes that you have seen before but could never place what he was feeling until you began to feel it too. 
 “Of course, Kitten,” his nose brushes against yours, “this request is way more powerful than that little gun.”
 Every footstep closer to the bedroom is another step towards you having to be brave and you find yourself studying Sylus’ features as the dim light of the hall lamps barely kisses his features. He is so beautiful- you could probably study him forever and find more things you adore about him.
 He catches you looking and he returns your smile of adoration- flinging your shoes to the side and going to set you on the couch to quite literally tuck you in. 
 And ACTION!
 “I’m not ready to lie down just yet.”
 Sylus cocks an eyebrow, “if you don’t want to lie down, I can keep holding you until I leave.”
 “What if I don’t want you to leave?”
 Your question hangs in the air and it’s hidden meaning seems obvious to you, but then Sylus puts you down on the ground and you realize he may have missed the actual meaning of your words. Is it that unbelievable that you would want to have sex or are you doing a magnificently poor job of conveying that point?
 “We better make the most of our time until dawn then.”
 In the spur of the moment and desire coursing through your veins, you find the courage to push him down onto the couch behind him. With a gracefulness you have never been able to execute before, you straddle him and the way his breath hitches makes something inside you break.
  Sylus’ face is an adorable and sexy pink and his breathing becomes more unsteady in your clumsy hands.
 When your lips finally touch his, it feels as if you have been asleep your entire life until this very moment. 
 Your fingers find purchase in his hair and Sylus pulls you into him- his fingers surely leaving bruises along the back of your thigh. The kiss is filled with passion and desperation- his skin feels like it’s on fire under your touch and every moan against your lips sends shockwaves through you. 
 “You really don’t want me to leave.”
 To emphasize his point- you tease his lower lip between your teeth that makes him feel absolutely feral. 
“S-Sylus,” you pant between kisses, “over there.”
 You anticipated him to be a bit rougher, maybe throwing you down on the bed or something, but he lays you down gently like you are a precious, fragile gift. His hands are firm and confident as he cradles you, needing to have you as close as physically possible. 
 Your clumsy hands make quick work of the buttons on his shirt and loosening his tie. Your hands glide across his chest and your nails gently graze your territory- one of your nails taking the time drag across his nipple. Sylus bites your lower lip in response, his hips grinding into you, and the growl that claws it’s way up his throat excites you. Your heart feels as if it’s beating out of your chest by the time he pulls away and (not so gently) takes of your shirt.
 The cool air is a stark contrast to the heat you feel on the inside- Sylus roams your bare chest and core with his eyes, his fingers hooking into your pants and pulling them down. You help by lifting your hips at an embarrassingly fast pace.
 “Looks like we are on the same page with not wanting to waste any time.” 
 He crushes his lips against yours again, leaving bruising kisses on every inch of skin he comes in contact with. Sylus returns the favor from earlier, his practiced mouth circling your nipple with care. His tongue flicks and laps at the sensitive skin and his teeth are quick to follow, leaving love marks and spit littering your skin before making his way to the the other. 
 You are mesmerized as you watch him- your core wound tight and dripping with need at the sight of him worshipping your body. Leaning back, you close your eyes and enjoy every single sensation. 
 You have soaked the bed underneath you by the time he makes his way between your legs- you are so caught up in his silent worship that you can barely focus on the task at hand.
 Strong, corded arms pull you to the edge of the bed and you jolt from your bliss filled daze- and God are you grateful you have. Sylus looks beautiful between your legs with his cocky smirk and pink cheeks- his warm breath lingers on the sensitive skin between your thighs. 
  With your legs slung over his shoulders- Sylus licks a stripe along your folds and ends at your clit, circling the sensitive nub and making lewd noises that you have only ever heard in porn. No one has truly, properly gone down on you and when they have, it always seemed like a chore.
“Sy-Sylus, you don’t have to if you don't wan-”
 You are cut off when he sucks on your clit, his tongue taking the time to tease the nerves and leave you a whimpering mess.
“I’m not doing anything I haven’t thought about doing for a very long time now,” he kisses along the inside of your thighs, “now stay focused, kitten.
“Don’t look.”
 One of your hands tangles in his hair and the other twists into the sheets. Sylus feasts and laps up your pleasure, his face covered in your essence and his nose breathes in your heady scent with happy, deep hums. His large hands roam your body, keeping your hips down and your legs clenched around him. They eventually return to your sore nipples and those practice, cold hands, become warm and attentive. He gropes and squeezes your breasts in time with his tongue as it darts in and out of your heat, his nose working to keep your bundle of nerves stimulated.
“Sy-” you clench your legs around his head tightly, a string of curse words leaving your mouth, “f-fuck- I’m, I’m-”
 Sylus’ fingers dip between your folds and his tongue returns to your clit. His other hand holds down your hips as his fingers drive you to your first orgasm of the night. Your moans are shrill and untamed- embarrassing almost- but the more you sing for him, the harder Sylus works to get more and more of those pretty noises out of your mouth. 
 When he finally comes up for air, your pleasure is dripping from around his mouth and down his chin. Crimson eyes make eye contact with you and he brings his soaked fingers to his lips- shamelessly savoring the taste of you on his skin. 
 You can barely contain yourself when he begins to crawl along you- your greedy hands using his hands to pull him to you faster. Sylus gazes at you adoringly and you are overwhelmed with your own affections for him. You went from hating him to loving him, desiring him, and at least for tonight, he is all yours. 
“What are you thinking about?”
 Mindlessly, your hand cups his cheek and your thumb traces the spot where a scar should be from your first encounter.
“Am I being too greedy… if I ask you to keep your eyes only on me?”
 Sylus almost looks relieved by your words, grabbing your arm and leaving a plethora of kisses as if to reward you for being open with him.
“You always had that right,” his warm breath and deep tone sends goosebumps of excitement up your spine, “which means… you can be even greedier. Do you want it, kitten?”
 Your breath catches when you realize what he is insinuating and you blink a few times before nodding. He smiles and leans down, but you stop him momentarily. Your mind feels like it is going a thousand miles a minute as you run through every negative outcome. What if you are really bad in bed? What if he decides he doesn’t want to be with you or bother with you anymore after you share such an intimate moment with each other?
“Sylus-”
“You haven’t changed your mind, have you…? You just said “yes?” his voice is desperate, “I’m hoping yes is still your answer because… I just can’t hold back anymore.”
 A wave of want and need flows through you, but before you can continue, you want to make sure this isn’t the beginning of the end.
“If we do this,” you whisper, “if we have this intimate moment together- you can’t just disappear on me. I want you, Sylus. Now and tomorrow and everyday after.”
 The Onychinus leader blinks a few times before the largest smile paints his face.
“Oh, y/n,” he sighs against your lips, “you have no idea how long I have wanted to hear you say those words.”
 Sylus kisses you deeply, his lips caress yours and your hands explore each other- your nails make designs in his back as you try to keep yourself as close to him as you possibly can. Sylus’ clothed crotch is stained in the mess between your legs while he rocks his hips into you. His hand is tangled in your hair and the other is pressing you flush to his sweat soaked chest. The kiss only continues to deepen in passion and need- you barely get him to let you take a moment to breathe. 
“He-hey- no biting here,” you tease, pulling him back by his hair after he nips the skin on your neck a bit too roughly.
 His pupils are blown wide with lust and pent up frustration, “First you want it rough, then you want it soft. You’re a tough one to please tonight, y/n.” 
 You are lost in the depths of his eyes and the pooling of emotions behind them. You forget to breathe until he breaks eye contact to leave soothing kisses over the bite mark. 
“What do you really want?” he uncharacteristically pleads, “won’t you tell me like you just did?”
 While his voice may be innocent, you are far from believing this act. With a smirk, you use your strength to roll him on his back and your hands intertwine with his- keeping them pinned to the bed. The look of surprise on his face is refreshing, to say the least.
 You lean down and kiss him slowly, nipping at his lower lip and eating up the breathy chuckle he releases.
“I told you a hunter doesn’t like being passive.”
“So you want control?” 
  You nod victoriously, certain you are going to be the one in control tonight. Sylus returns your confident smile with one of mischief before he somehow pins you down in the spot he was before. 
 Sylus chuckles deeply, “Unfortunately, I can’t give it to you. Not yet, at least.”
  Before you can inquire about what he means, you feel the pressure of two of his fingers sliding inside your wet cunt. An open mouthed, guttural moan leaves your lips and Sylus just watches- his other hand holding your chin so he can make eye contact. He wants to see your pleasure and know he is the only one you are thinking of- the only one you are seeing.
 Sylus wants you to know- no, understand- that you are his, not anyone else’s. 
 “Sy-sylus,” you plead, “pl-please I ne-”
“Don’t run.”
 Your back arches upwards and you try to pull away from his hand when you feel a warm wave gush and soak the sheets beneath you. Sylus doesn’t relent and quickly coaxes another orgasm from your shaking body. 
“Yo-you’re… so annoying…”
“I won’t deny it,” he crawls off of you with a grin, “I guess you can say I lied. Tonight, you’re not the only one feeling greedy…” 
 Sylus unzips his pants and pulls down his brief- his cock springs free and slaps against his lower ab muscles. Your mouth is watering in anticipation at his size- of course he’s perfect. He’s Sylus. 
 He climbs back on the bed and pulls you closer to him- the head of his cock presses against your folds and you feel yourself clench around nothing.
“I misspoke.”
“What…?”
 Is he changing his mind?
“Greed can never be satisfied,” he places your hand on his chest, your hearts beating in sync, “but you can temporarily soothe it.
“Say it again, y/n, do you want it?”
 Time feels like it stops completely when his eyes meet yours. Your devotion and adoration for each other is magnetic- an unspoken magic between both of you. Your fingers lace themselves in his hair, pulling him to you and you take your time to kiss him slowly, reassuringly. 
“This is my answer.”
  Whatever lust and want that had been held back erupts within an instant. Sylus crushes your lips with his and he slowly glides himself inside of you- your legs tighten around his torso and your whine of pleasure interrupts the heated kiss.
“F-fuck, y/n.”
 Sylus’ pace is both gentle and punishing- you can feel him trying to be gentle, but the more he holds himself back, the more you want him to let go.
“Let go, Sy,” you whisper, “I’m yours.”
 His hips set a punishing pace- your collective sighs and moans are the melody to the filthy sound of sex soaked skin and your hips meeting. His tip grazes the opening of your cervix and his abs stimulate your aching clit. The spongy sensitive spot inside of you is relentlessly stimulated with each movement.
“Such a good girl,” he growls into your ear, “fuck you’re so tight.”
 Your only response to his praise is pathetic whimpers and cries. It doesn’t stop him- if anything, he only begins to praise you more. Sylus is wrapped up in the moment and wants nothing more than to stay in this moment with you forever. You are safe and in his arms- he is finally reunited with you in body, mind, and soul and this spurs him on more, his cock driving into you harder and harder and his hands digging into the flesh of your ass and hips to keep you in place.
 You cling to each other, lips and teeth clashing against each other sloppily as you both lose your composure to the others’ wanting. Your velvet walls clench around him desperately and your fingers try to find purchase on his back, in his hair, anywhere as your orgasm overtakes you. 
 With a few more rough thrusts, Sylus stutters inside of you and thick ropes of cum coats the inside of your walls and fills you to the brim. He lays on top of you with very little of his weight, his face in the crook of your neck. Sylus leaves soft kisses along your neck and sings words of praise that you can barely register. 
 At some point, he gets up and you hear the bathtub turn on and the soft padding of feet. Sylus’s strong arms cradle you- taking you to the now filled bathtub that is more than big enough for two. 
 You straddle his lap so that you can face him. Sylus kisses you slowly while he cleans you- pouring water on your hair, scrubbing your scalp, cleaning the sweat along your shoulders and on the back of your neck. You return the favor, taking your time to make sure he can feel all the love you have for him and how much you care for him. 
 He helps you lotion and brush your teeth- at no point do your feet ever actually touch the ground again. Sylus sets you on the couch in one of his shirts and begins to change the sheets.
“Do you want some help?” you offer, your legs sore, but not wanting to be too much of a pillow princess.
 Sylus rolls his eyes at you, “I’m capable of tackling this mission on my own, sweetie, but I will let you know if another pressing issue arises.”
 You scoff playfully and wait for him to finish making the bed. Sylus picks you up and places you on the bed, you snuggle up next to him as soon as he lies down and, much like when you were in the grasslands, you lay your head on his bicep and he pulls you closer to him. You have never felt quite so warm or safe in your entire life and your resolve only hardens further.
 You cannot allow Sylus to go by himself into the jaws of danger. You refuse to.
 You turn and kiss his bicep, settling deeper into his arms.
“Good night, my clever Crow,” you say with a yawn, “remember not to steal the blanket.”
 He snorts, “I will try my best, kitten. Now get some rest- I’ll keep you safe.”
 You nod- knowing in your heart that you will always be safe with Sylus around- and let sleep take you. You have a long flight and some ass whooping on the agenda tomorrow, after all.
161 notes · View notes
hwaslayer · 1 day ago
Text
wildfire (cs) | 10.5
Tumblr media
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 2k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, infidelity, flirting, kissing/making out, there is trouble everywhere quite frankly…. gonna dip once i post bcos i know this is bad but there’s def another future 0.5 chapter that might be worse
Tumblr media
⇢ POSTDOC | YR 2.5
"Babe." Iseul whines a bit, making San mimic her pout before tapping her nose.
"Love. How about I take you out this weekend to make up for it? We can go somewhere, just us two."
"Okay, but it'd be better if you could do that and come hang out tonight, too." 
"I'll try."
"San." 
"I'll try." He chuckles. "I should really finish up behavior tonight and that review for the paper we're working on. I'm already behind."
"Who said? You still have time."
"I have to get this done by next week." He gives her a sympathetic smile before placing a kiss on her forehead. 
"Next week."
"I'll try and get it done so I can hang out with you two, k?" He cups her cheeks. She can't help but continue to pout and cross her arms, even when he kisses her on the tip of her nose and on the lips. Part of her continues to have a soft spot for her man, the love of her life. 
Part of her wants to continue being supportive because she loves seeing San excel in his craft, she loves being by his side throughout all his achievements and vice versa. She feels like together, they can conquer the world together— be unstoppable, reach the top.
The other half, maybe more than half at this point, is sad. Empty. She longs for the man she fell in love with, she longs for his company. His time. His effort. 
His kisses, his cuddles. Everything.
Iseul never thought the lines would blur.
"Okay?" San repeats, causing Iseul to return her full attention on him. She gives him a small smile and nod, San's thumbs caressing her cheeks. "Better." He subtly bites his lip before caressing her chin. "C'mere." He leans forward to peck her lips again, and again.
And again.
Before they're both standing near her car, kissing under the late afternoon sun. Iseul tugs on San's shirt, deepening the kiss as she pulls him closer. He softly groans against her lips, Iseul's hand slowly traveling down to his belt. 
"Baby." He pulls back and chuckles. 
"We can be quick." She chases after his lips and presses small, repeated kisses against them before he's gently prying her off and shaking his head.
"I'm sorry, baby. I gotta go." She whines again before he's kissing her one last time on the lips and forehead. "You can have me all you want later tonight. And tomorrow. And the weekend."
"Ugh. I hope you know how much I'm sacrificing so you can hurry and finish." He laughs.
"I love you."
"Love you, too." She sighs, watching as San waves before doing a light jog back to the building. She slips into her car and connects a call to the bluetooth just as she pulls out of the parking spot.
"Yo!" Yunho answers the call almost immediately.
"Hey. What can I bring to your place for tonight?"
"Hm. Soju? I think I'm almost out." Yunho hums. "Chips and any other snacks."
"Okay, so everything? What do you even have at home?"
"Me, myself and I." Iseul laughs. 
"Uh. So much for inviting us over when you don't even have anything ready."
"I'll whip something up, don't worry! Why the doubting?"
"Alright, boss. Counting on you then."
"You know what else I need?"
"What, Yunho?" He chuckles.
"You." It’s meant to be a lighthearted joke; nothing more, nothing less. But, it does something to Iseul and Yunho knows it well enough by this point.
"You're so sappy. Quit it." She blushes to herself, biting her bottom lip even though she playfully scolds him.
"Nah. It's kinda fun seeing you all flustered."
"Hate you."
"Sad. I don't." She shakes her head and smiles. "Sliding through soon?"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna freshen up and change at the house first after grabbing groceries."
"San is coming?"
"He said he'll try and wrap up quick so he can join."
"Ah, okay." Yunho sighs a bit. It's been awhile since he's been able to hang out with his bestfriend, but he understands how important his work is right now. He tries to be, at least. He knows how it all goes. 
He just wishes San would give himself more time to relax. Enjoy life a little bit, just like he used to.
"I'll see you in a bit then."
"Mhm. I'll text you when I'm on the way."
"How exciting."
"Shut up." She ends the call. Suddenly, those dark, sad feelings she felt earlier are gone. Suddenly, she's happy. She feels a bit giddy. Excited.
Iseul isn't really sure when the line started to blur. 
But somehow, they're here and Yunho isn't sure how they'll go back and undo whatever they've created between each other. He knows this shouldn’t even be a thing. He should feel like some sort of last resort, a rebound— like he's the cushion that keeps Iseul company solely because San isn't around. Yunho knows there shouldn't be much to it.
So, why is there more to it?
It must have been all the kick-its with friends, all the lunches and casual dinners. It must have been the exchanged texts with stupid [but silly] memes or tweets the other would appreciate. It must have been the calls just to check in with each other. It must have been the subtle, lingering looks. 
Accidentally brushing hands.
Teasing and poking fun at each other.
Flirty undertones.
Saying shit to make the other smile or laugh.
San would have just assumed they were being normal around each other. They had always been close anyway, but he says that because he doesn't catch the small acts in between. 
The very small, but clear and intentional acts.
For a minute, Iseul thought it was a phase because Yunho was there like he had always been. But then, the feelings and the thoughts stayed for longer than a phase; piled up over weeks and weeks.
Until she realized what it meant.
So, she tried to distract herself and force herself to understand that it was truly just a phase. When San was around, she'd affectionately hug him. Kiss him. Cuddle him. Pull him to bed and make him cum over and over again to feel satisfied, to feel like she was still wanted by her man.
His moans and the loud calls of her name the only thing granting that satisfaction. Even though, could she say the affection behind it was genuine?
Clear, intentional?
Who's to say?
Especially when she's happily skipping down the aisles in the grocery store, grabbing the soju that both she and Yunho like; the one that San doesn't really like as much but he'll deal and make do. Especially when she's throwing on a form-fitting zip-up and leggings, trying to come off as comfy, but alluring. Especially when she sprays her perfume and dabs on a bit of lip gloss for a lazy kick-it that’s staying behind doors and enclosed walls.
Especially when she walks through the door to greet Yunho with a big hug— one that has him swinging her around before they plop onto the living room floor and get started on the drunk, scary indie movie and short film marathon the three agreed to do as a way of de-stressing.
Especially when Iseul gets the dreaded but expected text from San, and she can't help but welcome back the same feelings of emptiness and disappointment from earlier.
san: running behind. i don't think i'll make it, love. i'm sorry. tell yunho i’m sorry, too.
san: i'll be home tonight - i'll make it up to you. this weekend, too. 😘 i'm all yours.
"He's not coming." Iseul says, taking another huge swig from their third soju bottle of the night, making Yunho nod silently.
"I'm sorry—"
"It's fine, don't be such a debbie downer." She laughs, playfully punching him on the bicep. Yunho catches her hand in his when she attempts to pinch him the second time around, making her pout in return. "Ouch!"
"Says you who was just about to punch me on the bicep, meanie." She giggles when he lets go of her hand. "I'll let it go. At least you're laughing and smiling."
"Yeah." She looks up at him. "You surely do make me laugh and smile."
"Good or bad way?"
"Good. How could that be a bad thing?"
"I don't know, you could just think I'm stupid." She snorts.
"Never."
"Well, good." Yunho smiles. "I like it when you laugh and smile."
"I like it when you make me laugh and smile, Yunho."
"Yeah?" He drunkly rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow on the surface of the table. "What else do you like, Iseul?"
"A lot of things."
"Mhm." He hums in a sing-song tone before leaning closer to tease her a bit. "What are a lot of things? Name a few."
"Yogurt soju, melon bread, being in bed after a long day and letting the sheets engulf me. Reading in a hot bath with candles lit up. To name a few." She leans forward to match him. "I don't think I can say anything else."
"Why not?"
"Because other things could be bad for me."
"In what way specifically?"
"Just cause." Her voice is barely above a whisper, lips only inches away from Yunho's.
"Just cause? How bad could it be?" She subtly shrugs before her eyes are dipping down to his lips, back up to his eyes. 
"Dunno. You tell me." She distractedly says. 
"What if.. maybe.. it isn't a necessarily a bad thing at all?" There's a thick silence in the air, but no one wants to address the tension, the elephant in the room. So, after a few minutes of said silence, Iseul leans forward and just kisses him— somehow thinking it could address the tension or whatever elephant is hiding in the room.
And at first, it shocks Yunho.
He freezes because he knows this shouldn't have happened. It fucking shouldn't have happened and he should’ve put a stop to it ASAP. Because Iseul was San's and vice versa, they made vows and devoted their lives to each other in front of him, and they were good together.
Yunho isn't really sure when the line started to blur. 
But then, he finds himself chasing after her lips to kiss her again, and again— until things can't be stopped and San's texts are going unanswered while Iseul's phone sits on the coffee table and vibrates away.
Her and Yunho are no longer sitting around watching the short film that's on. It eventually plays a random video next because no one is paying attention to what’s happening in the background. Empty soju bottles are spread across the surface of the table, along with open bags of chips and empty bowls. TV serving its purpose as background noise, almost fighting with the loud kisses and subtle moans leaving their lips while Iseul continues to make a place for herself on Yunho’s lap.
Meanwhile, San tucks his phone into his pocket, shrugging off the entire thing after he had sent her a few more follow up texts with all his ideas on how to make up for tonight. And tomorrow. And the weekend. He felt bad, but he was genuinely excited to do things with Iseul. To take her out on dates, travel near and far with her just to be alone. Rekindle the flame. Bring back that love, passion, that had been slowly dying because of his own fault. 
It wasn't entirely uncommon for Iseul to let texts go unanswered, but he was only worried because he knew that initial 'sorry can't make it' text upset her. She was probably trying to distract herself and lean on Yunho. Which, San can't help but think that Yunho does a way better job of being there for her than he actually does as her husband. It kinda aches him to think about it, and he's not sure how to navigate his own feelings when he keeps replaying that bar scene in his head.
For San, there’s no use in figuring this out because he knows they're good friends. They get along well, and he should be glad that they do. There isn’t anything to worry about despite his mixed feelings and confusing thoughts.
But for Iseul and Yunho, there’s no use in figuring out when this all happened, why this all happened— because everything has become perfectly clear and defined. 
The small acts gone unnoticed no longer small and unable to be hidden.
Clear, intentional.
Now, the lines are no longer blurred.
Tumblr media
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme
95 notes · View notes
namism · 1 day ago
Note
Oooo maybe a fluff/unspoken feelings piece w Kid??
i love | eustass kid
Tumblr media
➳ categories: modern au, female reader whose stepbrother is killer
➳ warnings: lots of swearing
➳ word count: 1.5k
➳ summary: Something about your relationship with Eustass Kid is unexplainable, but it's the type of unexplainable that you're comfortable with, no matter how odd it may seem.
➳ notes: i'm sorry if this is too niche, i had a vision tho 😭 most of his personality is based on these headcanons. thanks for the request! ❤️
➳ cross-posted on ao3
Tumblr media
"Shit. Bad date again?"
You can't see his face, but Kid has a shit-eating grin spread across his lips as he emerges from the driver's seat of his run-down pickup truck, a hand-me-down from your and Killer's uncle that Kid and his crew of metalheads use to drive to showcases in the city. He bangs the door closed, pockets his keys, then walks over to your seated ass on the curb.
"Shut up," you mutter. Kid sits beside you, and that's when you notice that he's holding a bottle of beer. He pops the cap open with his teeth, but you snatch it from his hands before he could take a sip. "You can't drink. It's late, and you're driving me home."
"It's just beer," he deadpans. Even then, he doesn't try to wrest the bottle from your hands, instead choosing to watch you take a depressive swig. He chuckles. "How was your shitty date?"
You glare.
"You asshole— how many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't a date? The beer tastes awful, by the way."
Kid is taken aback by your statement more than your aggressive manner of shoving the bottle toward his chest. The liquid sloshes around the bottle upon impact, and at that moment, the smell of bitter hops reaches his nose. He places it down on the asphalt and clasps his hands together.
"I got it from your brother. Blame him," he says. Your expression turns sour at the mention of Killer. "I would never risk a DUI while driving you home."
"Prince Charming," you tease. Kid is your stepbrother Killer's best friend, who you happen to be close with after many tag-alongs to gigs and shows in your city. Killer is convinced that you're closer to Kid than him with the frequency of your meet-ups and last-minute pick-up requests, and at the rate you're going, he's kind of right.
Kid sneers.
"Let's talk about your shitty date."
You roll your eyes.
"It wasn't a date."
"It looked like it to me. You don't wanna give the dude a chance? He sounded like a nice guy."
"Never in a million years. Anyone within a ten-mile radius from him would know that you're lying through your teeth right now." Pulling your knees to your chest, you gently lay your head on top of them. "I rejected him. He ran out of the diner as fast as he could. Thought everybody was pitying him because his ego couldn't take a rejection."
Kid smiles again, but this time wider. You went out with a guy tonight because you were too kind to reject his past advances, which more often than not attracted public attention when you didn't want them to. You tried to turn him down a couple of times before, but he couldn't get the hint. When he asked you out yesterday to dinner, you decided to reject him once and for all, with Kid and Killer's support.
Now that you've rejected the guy, Kid feels fucking fantastic. He hated him with his guts because he wouldn't leave you alone. Still, he loves to tease the fuck out of you, loves to play dumb and provoke you further, just to spark your enraged reactions because you look like a cute barking puppy.
Swirling his tongue in thought, Kid decides to pat your head with his big rough hand, ruffling your hair just a bit as he praises you.
"That's my girl. The next time he approaches you, try kicking his balls."
"Wouldn't that count as assault?"
"He harasses you, so what's the deal? Tomato, tomato; potato, potato. Defend yourself, please."
You laugh. "What the fuck?"
Grabbing the beer bottle, Kid rises from his seated position and offers you his hand. You stare at it, blankly.
"Come on, I'll take you somewhere you'll like."
You narrow your eyes at him.
"And where is that?"
"Answering would ruin the surprise. Just come with me, will ya?"
In the blink of an eye, you're Kid's passenger princess as he drives you to who-knows-where, an occurrence in your strange friendship that happens every so often when the both of you are left alone with a car full of gas. You roll down the window and make sure that no vehicle is passing by before sticking your hand out, feeling the wisps of cool air nip at your skin. When you move your head past the window, Kid hooks his fingers on your belt loops and pulls you back down.
"Fuck no, sit back down. No head-sticking, only your hands."
"But—"
"Your brother is gonna kill me if I bring you home headless. Hands. Only."
You stick your tongue out at him, but Kid only rolls his eyes. He lets you do whatever you want as long as you're not a second close to dying, often looking at you go wild in the passenger seat as he drives.
Minutes later, the truck slows down to a parking lot, a small rink built right in front of it.
You're the first to hop off, approaching the rink with blown irises as string lights scatter about to set a mood of warmth. It's not any other rink; it's a roller rink, perfect for rollerskating, perfect for two people to share a moment of intimacy.
"I'd much prefer iceskating, but this will do."
Kid holds up two skates in his hands, one of which seems to fit you nicely in a color you love.
You get on the rink as soon as you can, planting your feet on the ground as he hooks his fingers yet again on the loops of your belt. You sneer at him as he adds to your weight.
"Well, aren't you a big baby? Always leeching off me, never letting go," you say.
"Blah, blah, blah, it's a precautionary measure."
"You and precautionary measures don't go together."
Kid grabs you by the waist and turns you around, pushing you up against him. Your feet give up, but his hold on you is firm.
"Just like oil and water?"
You hit his chest.
"I hate you! Don't scare me like that!"
"That's what you get, brat." His lips morph into a grin while you hit him with weak punches. He laughs at your helplessness. "You get surprised by the simplest things. What I did right there was romantic for anyone but you."
"That was not romantic."
"What did I just say?"
"I hate you," you mutter. He laughs softly.
"Do me a favor and get yourself a guy who can treat you like that," he says. Your stomach turns, and your eyes fall to the ground. "You got a problem?"
"No, I don't."
You abruptly bump into him in an attempt to knock him over his feet, but he remains standing. At that moment, he traps you within his arms through a big embrace.
"So what's the hold up? Still stubborn?"
You punch his bicep as you squirm in the hug.
"You know why," you tell him.
"I do?"
"Ugh..."
You stop wriggling around. Kid feels something coming up.
You place your hands on his chest.
"You know why I don't want to date anyone else. You know."
"I know," he whispers. "So why can't you just say it out loud?"
"It's not that I can't say it— it's just..." You suck in a deep breath. "Is now the perfect time for it?"
"I don't know."
He guides your hands from his chest to his face, allowing you to cup his cheeks and touch them gently.
"But if you don't say it now, then when will you?"
A breathy laugh escapes your lips as you look at him. This isn't how you expected your day to turn out, but you aren't mad about it.
You like Kid.
You always have, and you know he likes you, too.
"I'll just show it to you."
You pull his face closer to yours and meet his lips. Kid leans further down to deepen your kiss, but he stays sweet and gentle, a complete 180 degrees from what people usually expect from him. The kiss is slow, like you've been meaning to do it for a long time and you don't want to rush the movement. Kid matches your pace perfectly, and he lasts longer than expected as he doesn't seem breathless when you pull away.
"Was that demonstration good enough?" you ask.
"No." He shakes his head. "I think I need another."
You hit his chest another time.
"Ouch, baby. You hurt my feelings."
As Kid feigns discomfort, you pull him close to your face again and peck his cheek.
"Do I have to say it?" you ask. "I love..."
He smiles.
"Nah, fuck that. Just show it to me. Took us long enough, honestly." He pinches your cheek. "I finally got you."
When he lets go of your waist, you race around the rink while he tries to catch you.
Something about your relationship with Eustass Kid is unexplainable, but it's the type of unexplainable that you're comfortable with, no matter how odd it may seem.
49 notes · View notes
carbonatedjem · 2 months ago
Text
Honestly might just speedrun the rest of the manga that I have left for my yearly reread, try and make a bunch of art in these remaining months, and then 2025 is the year I just start doing like-
Liveblog? Would it be a liveblog? of me re-reading the series. Fairy Tail really is just a manga that I could reread with short time between viewings. Like I don't imagine most people would want to read a 545 chapter manga once a year but i've just made that a tradition for myself cause it's just that good in my opinion.
If you actually look through some of my posts from awhile back I did attempt to do reviews of each volume as I went through a reread. But I just, stopped. I would like to not stop this time, not sure what format I would do for this.
I'm not switching gears to becoming a Fairy Tail exclusive blog (partially because I think I have some kind of witch curse on me that makes it so that I can't stop drawing Junkan) but I would really like to make more stuff with these characters, whether it's talking about them in excess or drawing art of them.
and my true secret motive is that maybe, just maybe, I will convince some of ya'll to make falrelu fics/fanart. please.
1 note · View note
xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago
Note
Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?
thank you so much !!
Tumblr media
i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]
and the obligatory bonus:
Tumblr media
#xmen#xmen comics#fall of x#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#for clarity on of this tag ramble im calling magneto max OK ok#sorry it took me a while to answer- ive been busy this week !#but yah like i said theres a lot of Fall Of X moments i wanna poke at#one i really wanted to doodle around was max's time with the shadow king from Resurrection of Magneto#the third issue is prob my fave in general if im so tbh .... but i wont prattle bout that ill go back to my previous prattle#i dont think i have a comic in mind prob just a doodle with shadow charles....#i mean if im devious enough i can def turn it into a comic but for now i just know i wanna do something with that#honestly even this moment i might revisit when i have more time to draw something. a lil better#i dont hate this its a sound start- but i THINK i wanna draw a smooch. a lil kiss. idk we'll see#cause im cheeky like that. 'will this be the last time i see you' 'girl idk we can kiss about it though' etc etc#god not to get off topic but im so curious what will happen with these two ... but thats for a diff post i guess#honestly if you guys have any runs i should read lemme know !! i just finished way of x and bar that ive just been reading the 60s issues#i have a couple on my list i wanna check out but im always excited to look into recs if yall think theyre worth it !!#but ya. thats all from me for now#my time is so finite this week i hope i can draw these sillies again soon .. i have a lot of ideas i fear#maybe i can sneak in one more doodle tonight ... <- doubtful
504 notes · View notes
icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
Text
Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
694 notes · View notes
kyouka-supremacy · 6 months ago
Text
(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#Alright lil blog update. Running the reblogs queue again tonight (yay!). Been procrastinating it for like? four months now?#I'm not going to fix the order anymore in a crazy pattern that only I can see. And like the point as always been#“it's only for myself‚ because I like seeing the posts all ordinately lined up ☺️”. But it does start being a problem when.#It actually blocks me from reblogging alltogether. Or makes me end up with 978 posts in the queue and 15584 in the drafts#(lol) (yeah)#Anyways had to write it down publicly because last time I said “screw it I'm not going to post in order anymore”#I lasted exactly one (1) day#Mmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh#I need to make space in the queue so I've set 20 posts in the night / morning for the time being.#Probably going to tag less because again. the posts are piling up. Sorry everyone#So like... After this string of disappointing (and possibly irrelevant?) updates. Feel free to unfollow me etc. etc.#(Mututals included? I really hold no bad feeling I know I post a lot. I don't care about mutualism if we're friends we're friends)#Have a nice day / night!!!#random rambles#Btw for anyone wondering my previous queue lineup was 4 fanarts / 2 other category posts / 4 fanarts / 2 other category posts etc.#(other category could be like. gifsets together. analysis together. textposts of approximately the same length together etc. )#And fanarts had to be coherent between each other for characters / composition / oftentimes color palette#Anyways. Winning over ocd today 💪💪#(I say as I didn't pick this month specifically because the second half of the year starts together with it. Anyways)#ManBreakingChainsMeme.png#Edit: Just remembered this all started because I accidentally hit shuffle queue two or three weeks ago#When it happened I had a mental breakdown and cried for two hours but looking back. Maybe it was really godsent
13 notes · View notes
themoonunderstoodmydadjokes · 6 months ago
Text
..
2 notes · View notes
floral-hex · 6 months ago
Text
I’m so tired. I’m always tired. This suuuucks. and I’m sad and shitty. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but I don’t think remeron is a workin for me. Accidentally typed “wormin for me” at first. I wish it was wormin for me. Why won’t you worm for me?😔
4 notes · View notes
todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
Note
mine thing im crazy about today: the strained grin he gives when pretending like hes not about to attempt murder on his subordinate hes literally What did something good happen :)
in his defense (the only one he gets) kinda stupid to be talking shit about the chairman for being young when the chairman of the company YOURE in (whos 2 feet in front of you and known to be nutty) is younger lol
ITS LEGITIMATELY SOOOOO GOOD mine's the most valid person on earth for stabbing a wank right after his Cinnamon Apple (platonic) just presumably kicked the bucket and this twat's cheerin bout it. WHILE SAYIN HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO BE IN THAT POSITION OF POWER BUT THEN THE NEXT BREATH SAYIN HIS BOSS (WHO IS YOUNGER) SHOULD BE NEXT IN LINE ☠️☠️ absolute kissasses the lot of em..
13 notes · View notes
rosicheeks · 8 months ago
Text
🩷
#I recorded a lil clip of me singing the last classical song I learned back in high school#surprised I still know it so well#I’m not posting it cause DAMN I’m rusty as fuck#but I think it’ll be cool to have a before audio for when I start working on my voice again#lol wish I had a BEFORE audio from before high school and all my lessons#OOOOOFDA BESTIE NAH#I thought I was so fucking good and then I get to my performing arts high school#with a bunch of talented people and I realized I in fact sounded like a screeching walrus#but then I worked and studied through high school and I think I gotta pretty good#even went to a few competitions which was super weird but fun#aw I miss those days so much#so I’m going to try and get back into it#gonna be hard since I’m not like surrounded by it all the time#but I’m gonna start brushing up on my music theory and maybe even fuck around and compose a little bit#I used to learn songs in all of these different languages#I miss it so much#and I’ve decided I’m going to start creating the person I want to be and stop wishing I was that person#anywayyyyyyyyy#idk where I was gonna go with that#if anyone is *genuinely* interested in hearing my classical audio send me a message#but I’m not gonna post it cause bro let me tell you it’s rustyyyyyyyy#I got my high notes down but everything else? (and even leading up to the high notes) nah not there#supposedly I might be able to see the aurora borealis in my area tonight but I’m not holding my breath#I live next to too many damn lights and people ☹️😤😤#if anyone gets to see the lights tell me all about them! and if you have pictures please please PLEASE send me them!!!!!#shut up rosie
6 notes · View notes
pizzabookbuying · 8 months ago
Text
in such a state rn
2 notes · View notes
oscargender · 9 months ago
Text
to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not
#getting floored by transgendered feelings tonight. I went full femme last night in a way that I haven’t in a long time and it really made#it clear that what I enjoy about looking feminine is the ATTENTION. PEOPLE PAY SO MUCH GODDAMN ATTENTION TO PRETTY WOMEN#I will fully admit that I love getting positive attention for my looks irl. Like I’m not really pretty unless I#put a lot of effort into makeup and clothes so getting compliments on my clothes/appearance is like crack cocaine#which is not healthy. I don’t WANT to care about what I look like#but tbh one of the reasons I enjoyed cosplaying so much is that I got all that attentiob without the requisite feminity. Hahaha hhhhhhh#Last night as I was putting myself together for the charity dinner I felt like I was dressing up a doll. FULL out-of-body barbie vibes#I’m so disconnected from feminine feelings right now. But at the same time I had so much fun being pretty and getting compliments#idk. I don’t even know how to feel. I’m so goddamned tired of all this#if I could beam a perfect understanding of gender fluidity into the brains of everyone I meet I would have come out YEARS ago#I just don’t want to be alienated any more than I already am from the people around me#living in the us south means suffering alone in transness I guess.#I don’t want to be the first genderfluid/nonbinary person EVERYONE has ever met. I don’r want to have to justify my existence#but this cannot go on. but I’m afraid of T. I don’t want to go bald 😭#and I still want to wear dresses from time to time#maybe the solution is becoming a lolita lifestyler. dress myself up as a doll every day for the fucking compliments#leave no room for dissatisfaction with feminity. FUCK#I NEED A GENDER THERAPIST WORSE THAN ANYTHING#BUT IT’S THE SOUTH AND THE NEAREST ONE TO ME IS OVER AN HOUR AWAY#AND she’s out of network. FUCK#anyway I watched an episode of the new f*llout show and it was pretty good 😊#AND I’m playing st*rdew valley again on the new update and the update IS SO FUN#<-lil media update to lighten up this post.#this post was typed up not from a place of despair but from a place filled with the same emotions that a dog chasingits owntail experiences#I’m doing well enough mentally that I can deal with my transgender feelings again yknow. maslows heirarchy of needs with m#with transgender feelings at the top#weekend whining
2 notes · View notes
wavernot4love · 6 months ago
Text
thursday tuesday 2nite and after checking setlist fm and seeing this is what they played in scranton the other night it is safe to say they are bringing the thursheat for these shows
Tumblr media
0 notes
freakygothsex · 7 months ago
Text
hmmmm I was not joking when I reblogged that furry sensory deprivation art and tagged it with something about needing that this weekend. not necessarily that situation but oh my god I need to not have to think or be able to make decisions for a little bit like I just want to cuddle my pup and get caught up in sensations.
0 notes
simpforboys · 23 days ago
Text
surprise!
drew starkey x fem!singer!reader
summary: ever since the reader started blowing up, all the interviews and promotions that would ask her who her celebrity crush is, she always had the same answer. so when Jimmy Fallon invites her on his show, he might have a surprise in store…
warnings: fluff!! second hand embarrassment, reader gushes about Drew, she’s just a fangirl at heart
‘perfume’ by del water gap mentioned <3
part two , part three, part four
Tumblr media
2020
“Who’s your celebrity crush?”
“Drew Starkey, he plays Rafe in Outer Banks.”
“Do you have a celebrity crush?
“Yeah, Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”
“Are there any people you would hope to collab with or meet?”
“Definitely Drew Starkey from Outer Banks.”
Tumblr media
2021
“Last year you said multiple times Drew Starkey is your celebrity crush, is this still true?”
“Yeah, he’s still my main one.”
“Are there any guys you’re interested in?”
“My dream guy is Drew Starkey, if that’s what you mean.”
“What’s your type in a man?”
“Umm… probably Drew Starkey.”
Tumblr media
2022
“Update us on all the boy drama! Anyone interesting?”
“Just waiting for Drew Starkey.”
“You look stunning! Are you here with anyone tonight?”
“No, I’m not.”
“Your crush around Drew Starkey, is that still a thing?”
“It still is… have you seen his new movie ‘Hellraiser’?”
Tumblr media
2023
“Your new EP just released, are any of the songs about Drew Starkey?”
“Not on this one, no. Maybe the next one.”
“Are you seeing anyone? Has Drew Starkey called?”
“No, not yet. Maybe next year.”
“Have you seen season three of ‘Outer Banks’ yet?”
“Yes, oh my god! Drew looked so good.”
Tumblr media
2024
“Your new song ‘Perfume’ is an absolute hit! Is it about Drew Starkey?”
“Omg, no, but it should’ve been.”
“You’ve quickly risen to fame! Has Drew Starkey noticed you yet?”
“Unfortunately, no. He’s probably hiding.”
Tumblr media
Ever since your career started, in every single interview you get the question regarding celebrity crushes, the answer was always the same.
Drew Starkey.
It became a known meme revolving you and your fans, along with the media. Practically every interview just loved to teased you about your known celebrity crush.
Your popularity rose more in 2023 to 2024, so, when Jimmy Fallon reached out to you to have you on his show, your agency immediately agreed.
Standing behind the curtain wearing a tight brown suit, the pants wide-leg. Black boots were your choice of footwear, your makeup done perfectly to match the outfit.
“Ladies and gentlemen, bring your hands together for Y/n L/n!”
When Jimmy announced your name, you came out from behind the curtain, a big smile on your face as you waved to the audience.
Shaking hands and hugging some of the crew members before you finally hugged Jimmy, settling down in the blue chair.
“How are you doing tonight?” Jimmy asks with a warm smile.
“I’m doing good! Pretty nervous to be honest, this is my first talkshow.” You answered sincerely.
The audience clapped and Jimmy sunk back in his seat a little more.
“Well, I’m glad to be your first one! So, your new song ‘Perfume’ recently came out, congratulations on 200 million streams.”
“Thank you so much, really.” Your hands were shaking as you fidgeted with the brown fabric on your knee, one leg crossed over the other.
“So, you’ve been singing since 2020?” Jimmy asks.
“Yeah, I started posting videos on Tik Tok but my career really took off at the end of 2023 and now here we are.” You smile, the whole experience still so surreal.
“Your voice is phenomenal, seriously. I’ll need to have you come back and sing on the show for us.” Jimmy says, causing the audience to erupt into cheers.
You laughed a little, nodding your head. “Of course, anytime.”
Jimmy continued to talk to you for a few more minutes about your career, the conversation flowing smoothly as you cracked some nervous jokes.
“So, I have to ask, Y/n. Since your career began you’ve said your celebrity crush is Drew Starkey, can you tell us more about this?”
You felt your face get a little warm as you shifted in your seat, an anxious smile on your lips.
“I dunno, I guess I’ve just always found him attractive. He’s insanely talented and just seems like a very genuine soul.” You say sheepishly, avoiding looking at the camera.
“He’s also becoming more and more popular right now, with season four of ‘Outer Banks’ that came out in October and November along with his new movie ‘Queer’.” Jimmy adds on.
“Yeah, I’m a pretty big fan so I’ve been following along with it. I’m very proud of him, in like a supportive-fan way.” You say, making the audience laugh at the last part.
You were completely oblivious to Jimmy looking behind you, motioning with his hand underneath his desk.
“So it’s not just his looks?” Jimmy teases.
“I mean, he’s a very beautiful man. He looks good with any haircut especially that mullet he had last year — and oh my god, he just looked so good in season four of ‘Outer Banks.’ Plus he has these big biceps that just bulge out of any shirt.”
You hadn’t even realized you were gushing over your celebrity crush until you finally caught yourself, hearing the audience laughing.
“Oh, gosh. You are really into him, huh?” Jimmy teases.
“What would you do if he was standing right behind you?” The host asks.
If you weren’t so nervous from being on a national talkshow you probably would’ve understood his message.
But your brain caused you to miss it, being as oblivious as ever.
“Probably pass out.” You answered, hearing the audience giggle more. Jimmy had an amused grin on his face.
“Please don’t pass out.”
Your posture immediately straightened, body tense as you stood up from the seat.
Turning around, your heart dropped to your stomach when you saw Drew fucking Starkey standing there.
The audience’s laughter grew as well as Jimmy’s, clearly satisfied with the surprise.
Your hands went to cover your mouth, face feeling hot like you had a fever. You just gushed about this man practically to his face.
“Hi, Y/n. I’m Drew.”
You couldn’t respond, just in pure shock as you stare at the tall man.
Drew also looked a little sheepish, his cheeks pink as he grinned at you.
“Did you— did you hear everything?” You finally managed to choke out.
“Maybe.” Drew chuckled, scratching the side of his neck.
“How do you feel after hearing all that, Drew?” Jimmy chuckles.
“I’m honored,” Drew replies.
You hated the way he fucking said that and the way you understood that reference.
Drew held his hand out for you to shake, but your heart was beating too fast and your brain was turning into nervous mush that you just embarrassed yourself in front of your dream man.
“Are you going to shake his hand? Hug him?” Jimmy chuckled.
“I’m… scared.” You murmured, the audience swooning and giggling over your shyness.
“Can I hug you?” Drew asked.
Stunned, your head slowly nodded. His strong arms wrapped around your body, your forehead resting against his shoulder.
You couldn’t even hug him back properly, just too much in shock. He smelt like cologne and it made your knees weak.
“I love your new song, by the way.” Drew murmured softly in your ear.
“Yeah?” You whisper, feeling like an idiot for the way you were reacting in front of him.
Drew just nods and hums, soothingly caressing your back in an effort to calm you down.
“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one last time for Y/n L/n and Drew Starkey!” Jimmy has to end the segment.
The audience cheers as Drew continues to embrace you.
He had known about you for the last few months, having a few of your songs in his playlists.
He was just constantly busy so he never really got the chance to reach out, but when Jimmy’s team contacted him about surprising you on the show, he was excited.
And nervous.
“Sorry about surprising you like that.” Jimmy comes over, causing you and Drew to finally pull away.
“You gave me trust issues for talkshows now.” You said jokingly, finally calming down a bit.
Drew and Jimmy both laughed softly.
The film crew told you and Drew that the commercial break would be ending soon so to step off stage.
You did your signature on the wall dedicated to Jimmy’s guests, feeling familiar blue eyes gazing at you.
After thanking each crew member and shaking hands or hugging, an assistant pointed you and Drew towards where a car will take you both back to your perspective hotels.
“You ready?” Drew asked you.
You nodded, feeling nervous due to the fact that you were about to be alone in the back of a car with your celebrity crush, other than the driver in the front.
Drew opened the door for you as you climbed in, hyperaware of how he slid in behind you onto the leather seat.
It was quiet for a few moments, you nervously fidgeting with the rings on your fingers.
“So… you like my new song?”
You finally manage to choke out.
Drew smiled softly, turning his head to look at you. He was still a little flustered at everything that happened, but also very amused.
“I do, yeah. Are you going to shoot a music video for it?” Drew asked.
You nod, making eye contact with him.
“Yeah, my idea is to tell a story about these two lovers who move to like a quieter part, I was thinking either the forest or a desert, that live in poorer conditions but are completely happy and content because they have each other. I want it to be full of love, so kissing, affection, a sex scene.”
You rambled on to him, your eyes falling to your hands as you played with your rings.
“Oh, wow. That sounds cool as fuck.” Drew murmured, also watching your hands fidget. He thought it was cute.
“I’ve had the idea in my head for a few years, actually. I started writing ‘Perfume’ in like… 2021? So, I just want everything to be perfect.”
You added on, looking back at him. He had his left leg crossed over his knee, his body language towards you.
“Well… if you need a male costar, I would love to do it.” He gave you a smile.
A small grin curled onto your lips, stomach hurting at realization of what he just implied.
“Yeah?”
He nodded, licking his lips.
“Mhm. I told you, I love the song. Plus, your idea sounds amazing, and if you want me to, I would love to be apart of it.”
You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat when it finally hit you that Drew fucking Starkey wanted to be your on-screen lover.
“You’re not just fucking with me, right?”
You had to ask, blurting it out of your nervous mouth.
Drew just snorted, shaking his head in amusement. “No, I’m not.”
“Okay… I’ll have my manager reach out to your’s about details for when we start shooting. I appreciate it a lot.”
You were unaware the car finally came to a stop, parked outside your hotel, fans and security guards waiting for you.
“Yeah, I’ll definitely be there. Have a good night, Y/n.”
Drew smiled at you, your heart fluttering.
“You too, Drew.”
You got out of the car, letting the security guards guide you inside the hotel. You tried your best to take photos or sign autographs for your dedicated fans, something Drew admired as he watched from the back of the SUV.
By the time you finally got back into your hotel room and kicked off your boots, you started taking off your jewelry.
Flopping down onto the bed, you grabbed your phone.
It felt like your heart dropped to your stomach when one notification specifically caught your eye.
@/drewstarkey started following you back
4K notes · View notes