#maybe thats the piece thats missing
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Rory has been trending a little bun-obsessed lately, probably because we have lots of bunnies in our condo complex and she has to practice a lot of impulse control as she can't chase or really fixate on them, so I've been looking for ways to help her fulfill her bunny-murder urges safely.
Unfortunately we don't have a ton of areas I comfortable coursing her (letting her chase buns until she can't see them or catches them) because our bunnies are mostly urban animals BUT I was at the bougie pet store for unrelated reasons and they had dried rabbit feets which gave me an idea!
I bought a few and got some paper bags and put Rory in another room while I hid them around the apartment to sniff out, destroy, and eat. I figured it would satisfy some of her murder urges, even if it's not the whole predation sequence.
She was pretty happy about it! I'll try to add this to our rotation of enrichment activities and maybe get a few rabbit feet to chuck at her outdoors sometimes. Hopefully it'll help vent those bunny frustrations so they don't build up and hurt my good dog behaviours.
#dogblr#rory borealis#dog enrichment#bird dog training#the good thing about my lifestyle is that rory does actually have a lot of outlets for her hunting behaviours#we constantly go out for free time in the field for her to scent stare and stalk#shes not a huge chaser tbh but she could be#she chases her dog friends or me and she did chase that bunny the other day#maybe thats the piece thats missing#maybe i should make her a flirt pole?#i dont have a lot of space for it and its gonna get icy#but maybe its worth doing anyway#im glad i started writing out these tags because i wasnt even thinking about the chase piece because she gets toooooons of running time#but it isnt the same focus as chasing#HMMMMMMMMM#okay so new plan#gonna keep this up and also make a flirt pole#maybe we can get some chasing time in before it snows or ices over#she does chase me but she cant grab-bite or kill-bite to finish the sequence#if i get some rabbit hide it might satisfy those missing pieces#stay tuned ill report back in a bit
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Yuuji: Bye, im going to the fire nation!
Sukuna: Not dressed like you aren't.
Proceeds to give Yuuji a boob window in his clothes
ngl anon i took this bit way too seriously n got carried away thinking abt what yuuji's fire nation alternate fit would look like ,, then after figuring it out I thought well now I /have/ to draw air as well ....
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: design#lmhs#answered#anonymous#my sandbox my design i make the rules yuuji hates th air acolyte clothes. i decided bc i didnt like drawing him in them GHSDFH#its in character fr him !! he likes clothing he cn roll n brawl n thrash around in#theres too many layers n folds with those robes th poor boy is gna get tangled :(((((#hes right at home in th fire nation getup tho :D !!#still probably not *exactly* to sukuna's standards but hopefully he appreciates th deep v#its more yuuji coded i think#tho tbh ?? if u take off sukuna's..what even is that a chest piece? pauldrons?? either way if u take those off its just a low cut robe also#sukuna voice u know brat maybe we're not so different u and i#side note i 100% stand by our decision 2 make yuuji a born earthbender but *clenches fist* yuuji in red.............#i love u i miss u#tho in green he gives sakuramochi and i think thats beautiful in its own way
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I think it’s interesting how as time goes on Zoro kind of becomes more and more like mihawk in some ways whether that’s just because if you spend time with someone for 2 years you’re bound to pick up their habits or a deliberate attempt to emulate him is a conversation for another time. And Mihawk and Zoro where already pretty similar at the start so it’s a little hard to notice now.
But yeah whether unconsciously or consciously Zoro is becoming a bit more like Mihawk and it’s interesting to think that while this means maturing in some ways (he’s swordsmanship for one but he’s also just quieter much more assured of himself) it also means deaging in some others.
Despite their significant age gap and general dispositions, when it comes down to it Zoro is just a lot more emotionally mature and developed than Mihawk is. And a big part of why is because he found something larger than himself to devote his life too, hell Mihawk himself even kind of acknowledges this when he agrees to take Zoro on as a student when Zoro begs for the sake of his captain and crew. He acknowledges that putting aside his own ego and dreams for the sake of someone else isn’t something he can do and sees it as a fault in himself and a strength in Zoro.
Mihawk may be outwardly mature and his skills defiently did not stagnant but I’d wager that Mentally Mihawk is still stuck at the same age he was when he took over the title of world’s strongest swordsman. Honestly maybe even younger. And it isn’t until training Zoro, letting Perona stay with him, for probably the first time in his life taking charge of lives outside his own did he finally unarrest his development.
If Zoro is purposely trying to emulate Hawkeyes, which it wouldn’t be a surprise if he was that’s who he’s trying to be Afterall, then it would honestly set him back emotionally because fundamentally as he is now Mihawk’s attitude doesn’t work in a crew. It’s too singular, too abrasive. And while that abrasiveness can be useful in Zoro’s role as Luffy’s first mate sometimes it makes him a little too callous a little too apathetic, like with his disregard for Luffy’s sadness over vegapunk.
But Zoro has his crew to temper that, they are honestly just too ridiculous to ever stay serious around. And try as he might to hide it Zoro is also just a silly dude who likes to be horrifically petty with his opponents. And zoro still has so much fire in him, so much he has too prove and so much he wants to protect to ever really fall into Mihawk’s apathy. Zoro has Luffy who even after they reach their dreams will probably still continue to turn the world upside down forever keeping Zoro in some kind of trouble and his life interesting.
Zoro can’t be Mihawk because even Mihawk can’t be Mihawk anymore. Being with crossguild and crossing with the Red hair pirates and the strawhats is going to change him, it has too. if Mihawk is going to live after losing his title he’s probably gonna have to become a little bit more like Zoro.
#can you tell how much I like the phrase arrested development#mihawk is essentially mentally still a teenager and honestly that tracks#in psychology terms he never developed his super ego#everytime I write a long post I’m so scared that I didn’t make any point at all and it’s just a bunch of jumbled nonsense and half points#so I hope this made sense 😭#zoro and Mihawk are great they are so alike yet the little differences matter so much#don’t you just hate when people say Zoro has no character arc?#they aren’t even two sides of the same coin they are literally just Son learning from the mistakes of his father#I can’t lie before I really got into timeskip I also thought the changes in zoro was just Oda choosing to rewrite him diffenrtky more badas#I also missed the loud smiling and laughing zoro but the truth is that he’s still there#and maybe it is just Oda deciding to make Zoro cooler but it’s honestly so in line with who he already was and makes so much sense given#who he was training with that it still works as character development#zoro can still be loud and silly and maybe his digs are not said instead of screamed and maybe his smiles are a little meaner instead of#genuine and maybe he doesn’t laugh out loud anymore but honestly sometimes thats part of growing up#Zoro is the way he is so Luffy can be who he is that’s why they work. somebody’s got to take it seriously#somebody’s got to feel the weight of being an emperor’s crew. might as well be Zoro#one piece#throwing thoughts to the void#zoro appreciation post#dracule mihawk#hawkeye mihawk#roronoa zoro#zoro#character analysis#one piece meta#goth fam#goth family#one piece goth family#the strawhats#strawhat pirates
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✧ — 𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄.
-`. 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 @carrionsflower and @loriane-elmuerto tytyy sm lori and airika!!!!! 🥀💌🐦⬛
✧ — 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓.
coffee or tea | early bird or night owl | chocolate or vanilla | spring or fall | silver or gold | pop or alternative | freckles or dimples | snakes or sharks | mountains or fields | thunder or lightning | egyptian mythology or greek mythology | ivory or scarlet | flute or lyre | opal or diamond | butterflies or honeybees | macarons or eclairs | typewritten or handwritten | secret garden or secret library | rooftop or balcony | spicy or mild | opera or ballet | london or paris | vincent van gogh or claude monet | denim or leather | potions or spells | ocean or desert | mermaids or sirens | masquerade ball or cocktail party
✧ — 𝐓𝐎𝐏 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐓.
𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 — bel canto.
𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐎 — nostalghia.
𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐊 — mannequin pussy.
𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀 — chappell roan.
𝐃𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐋 — florence + the machine.
— 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠:
@sunsofdawn, @pavus, @happilyobsessing, @girliefailure, @alvsanne
@auricfog, @jamessunderlandgf, @weisshaupts, @grapecaseschoices, @risingsh0t
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @full---ofstarlight, @fenharel, @unholymilf
@aelyosos, @anoramactir, @roofgeese, @cloudofbutterflies92, @griffin-wood
@southernreaches, @chainsawsangel, @leviiackrman, @tethrras, @rosykims
@tommyarashikage, @carlosoliveiraa, @courtana, @lilywatt, @kroganloveinterest
@shadowsofrose, @celticwoman, @shadowsofrose, @dialdrunk, @kissingwookiees
@neonshrike, @confidentandgood, @lavampira, @adelaidedrubman, @imogenkol
@kanos, @deadrlngers, @elluvians and you!!!!!! 🥀💌<3
#only if you want to of course !!!!!! 🥀💌☺️!#leg.txt#leg.about#my campaign that shimmering is a a*rlathan you dancing with the wolf while a diss track of him plays starts noww#(i don’t have a fic planned maybe maybe about this there isnt a scene like this that i have in mind thats sillyy)#speaking of ITS DRAGON GAME FALL BESTIES and that means that all of the songs pertain to a dragon game clown or two 🥀🤡🥰 <3!!!!#california if you altered to missing seasons in lothering + come get me out of hightown it will make you crazy 🥀😖💀😵💫 !!!!! <3#thats helaenas song now 🥀😌🤧!!#daffodil and imago are soooo irulanne coded its like they were written for her my GOD !!#like irulanne as a character and wee bits of lucanne here and there are captured so well 🥀🥰 <3#and speaking of songs that were written for clowns loud bark was written about lhysa actually (joking) djdhgcgx ITS JUST SO HER !!!!!!#loud bark just GETS lhysa to the letter i cant wait to yell about her and all of the clowns more oh my godd#rattling the bars of my enclosure i am STOKED#a wee tardy so if you have done this already please feel free to pass on this!!!!! 🥀🥰#lhysa is such a special oc to me she’s been a part of me since i want to say?? 2015/2016???? SHES THE BABY OF ALL TIME and i just adore her#and can’t wait to yell about this worldstate and the rooks and the a*rlathan prequel peace dragon game i missed youu 🥀🤧#*piece#moots and besties as always if you read this im baking you cookies ty tyy for listening to me yell 🥀😭🥺💌🥹 !!!!#okie dokie back to replaying dragon game 2 (i may not need to anymore buut we remain committed anything for fenlaena 🥀😤 <3!!)#i will catch up tag games at a reasonable hour onee day 🥀🥴💀<3
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A very sketchy and experimental resh'an I did about a month ago ⌛️
#sadly hes in painting purgatory and idk where the hell i put him in my room LMAO 😭 sorry resh'an#maybe ill finish him someday when i find him but hes been lost to the crevaces of my bookshelf. i hope he enjoys it there.#ngl i still really like the way his arm looks. i love giving resh and aeph really disgusting looking arms. a little sneak peak of how their#bodies have deteriorated over the years#i think they both look like shriveled up mummies underneath all the robes... or like a hollow from dark souls 1#btw its supposed to be him when you first roll up on him w garl in the tower. thats why hes gross and. crusty and also missing his hourglass#working on a digital valere piece rn#im gonna try to finish it today during class hopefully#ALSO DONT LOOK TO HARD AT HIS LEGS. I DONT THINK I WAS USING A REFRENCE AND IT SHOWS LOL#sea of stars video game#sea of stars resh'an#resh'an#sea of stars#sketches#sketch#small art blog#small art account#small artist#artists on tumblr#traditional media#traditional sketch#my art#traditional art#video game fanart#video game fandom
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Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?
But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)
In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer
Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared
#of course they could always just be not quite putting the pieces together in these scenes#buuuut at this point im not so sure..#i was hoping theyd take a more “WE MISSED YOU” approach#because if im being honest those are some of my favorite moments#like yay everythings better now lets hug it out#i feel weird about them potentially not knowing about what happened#how would they play that off? solomon already said they were freaking out?#“oh whoops we time traveled just far back enough that no one noticed you were gone”#no#do not do that#that defeats the purpose of this whole shenanigan#they also cant just say it was the regular past#because story inconsistencies#solomon has even commented on how its different#hes like “simeon and luke shouldnt be here”#istg if they try to move past that without explaining i will explode#its a very plausible scenario at this point#theyve done it before#because oh does diavolo just not have the power to spot lies anymore?? ok#anyway im scared for the future of the story#this could go wrong in so many ways#obey me!#obey me! swd#obey me lucifer#obey me satan#obey me luke#obey me barbatos#posts#maybe barbatos just merges the timelines again and thats why everyone feels weird#idk im too tired to think more about this
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confrontation
#pokemon rejuvenation#I don't like the end result. expressions aren't matching whats in my head. but practice it is.#i needed to do a full piece again cause its been a long time.#anyways. i love aero. im so glad i got them as the protag of choice. first via random quiz and second cause i thought they were perfect#for mona's whole foil#also. i think its quite funny how they have different statures and heights yet everyone perceives mona as the same look as aero.#maybe its a weird soul thing. idk hc stuff clashes w canon. ah well.#anyways character thought time. rereading aero's dialogue made me realize. wow thats almost exactly mona's train of thought.#not perfectly there but similar . which is different enough. aero is all about perseverance and mona is enduring . does that make sense.#i miss u aero i hope u show up again weh.#art#oc bracket#mona#mona's first run
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IDK WHY BUT THAR SCENE WHERE FIZZ IS TALKING TO THE DEAF KID IN SIGN LANGUAGE AHDUDIIWNEJTJGB
#i feel like it means something but my brain csnt piece together what#maybe something about how hes sick of obsessive fans and just likes casual fans#or he enjoys the wonder ans hope the kid has and misses it#yeah i think thats it#fizzarolli#helluva boss
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"he's a ten but he doesn't know how to do his own laundry"
#fan art#asbel lhant#richard windor#mine#this applies to both of them btw. why would a king or a lord need to know how to wash their own clothes they have servants for that#you can tell i spent all of 30 minutes on this doodle im supposed to b sleeping bc work is guaranteed to suck tomorrow 😔#i miss doin actually nice art 😩 now it's just whatever doodle i can finish within 24 hours cause thats all the time i can dedicate 😓#anyway what does richard's clothes actually look like under his jacket 🤔 i interpreted it as a tunic over black long sleeve#but it's debatable. if this was a more serious piece i'd actually check the perfect guide to see if innomata designed his shirt or not#there's always cosplayers to ref too. they had to figure out SOME way to comfortably assemble the costume 😅#funnily enough i can see richard wearing a jacket over long sleeves dude does NOT want to show ANY amount of skin EVER#or maybe he just runs cold 😅 adding 'anemia' to potential richard headcanons
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Ykno when ur lookin at an artist and ur like "man, I want to commission art from You, Specifically"
I have something in mind for a scene that's coming up in ITNL (whenever I start writing again) that would be really cool, & I know Exactly who I'd want it by... except they don't have open commission slots 😭😭😭
I can be patient, though... I have been patient before...
#speculation nation#and if they dont open up commissions again well thats entirely their choice & i would never fault them for that#but. man. it would just look so cool in their style.#and so i wait... and maybe someday.... i can get it.#tho maybe i should type up my thoughts about the piece Now 😂 so i dont end up missing the window & being out on a waitlist#like what happened with my commission of vash's scars.#i did get it in tbh a pretty reasonable time frame despite being on a waitlist for a bit#but. ykno. the thing with popular artists opening commissions is that EVERYONE is gonna flock to them for it#so me taking a few hours to thoroughly describe the scars commission made it so the open slots filled up#but thankfully he was nice enough to put me on a waitlist 🥺🥺🥺#no guarantee for this other artist should they open commissions that id get a slot and/or on a waitlist#SO!!!!! i should be ready.#tho itd probably take much less time to describe it 😂 given that it has more to do with the pose /&@#* than smth as definite and detailed as scars reference.#just. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔#now that ive had the thought i just want so badly to commission it hfksbfjd#the thing isnt even written!!! it's still chapters away!!!!!#but man. it sure would be cool huh.#oh well. i will simply be patient. hopefully before too long they will open their commissions again.#also yes me getting a commission for my fic again. idk there's just smth rly cool about having illustrations in the fic.#so i will wait and i will hope. that i can get this commission at some point.
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[#hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!!#and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg#anyways this sucks#like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written#but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//<#it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO#in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely#for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig#they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that#ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot#and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous#on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._.#and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles#he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider#especially when she barely got any#maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH#but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒#like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset#but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//<#THAT was smooth#and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH#they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal#it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂#whatever hopefully work is good!!#and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘
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Watching Chopper's movie even if I said I wouldn't because I am a liar
#old style i miss you... also the start is so funny... no nonesense no backstory. there is an island and we're flying there NOW. BY ACCIDENT.#luffy just referring to sanji and zoro like sanji zoro.... okay he gets it#sanji prince reference.... hell yes....#namis outfit is a slay.... the dress opening up to show her baton.... yeah yeah exactly#zoro holdong chopper after sanji kicks the thing off their feet... yeah#usopp literally kicking beaten up chopper of the trail 😭😭 i get the spirit but it doesn't look too well#also sanji with another cunty chunky bracelet... hes not beating the allegations well he never has#this guy i know is better than you... and so annoying... yeah thats it#luffy got impaled... foreshadowing for alabasta....#the ending is kinda cute... luffy just grinning after the guy disappears akdbaisjskk#chopper and mobambi just crying at the end like little kids akdhaksjak which they are yeah.... but thats so funny#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies#and did i watch this just for the zosan lines. maybe. but i really do not have anything else to watch akdhaka
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not to get personal or anything but one piece genuinely helped me become more emotional again. sometimes i still hate being emotional, especially crying a lot but— seeing my favorite characters cry or breaking down let me cry with them and just show me it is ok to cry. ive struggled with crying for years to the point i couldnt cry At All no matter my methods
it was until marineford- or rather purposely spoiling myself about if ace is really dead bc i was in such huge denial bc he was like my 2nd favorite... it was until marineford i cried so so so much. ace's death and seeing our beloved luffy who we've been following since he was just in a barrel with so much ambition... break like that. he was broken enough to the point he didnt care if he died from headbutting boulders/cliffs. and we get the backstory of asl, learning that luffy actually had two brothers and that he didnt have anyone left. until jinbe was there to take him out of rock bottom and reminding him of what he still had.
anyway, one (silly) reason that i hate being more vulnerable/emotional i guess is that i will cry easily when it comes to the tragedy of these characters 😭
one piece just has excellent storytelling and how it can make you feel such intense emotions from the strawhats to characters that we thought werent important
#tin talks#just rambling again#and i love one piece so much#im so glad i started reading it#and it's never too late to start#but it is especially a good time Now to start it bc we're in the final saga#+ luffy giving you a reason to live... very very important#thats rlly how fast he became like my top 2 favs of All Time#smth about luffy that rlly helps you keep going#yes hes not real but my attachment to him is and#dont you just want to see the very things you love blossom?#mini vent#maybe? idk#it's rlly bc i saw the 'thank you for loving me' panel and#i wanted to cry lol#ace's death hurts so fucking much i miss him it's not fair
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grey really fucked me up beyond belief i am SO insecure about relationships at this point
#i already had a disordered attachment style#like it was already there#he just made it worse somehow#like reinforced my fear of abandonment/vulnerability/relationships as a whole#like wow i really have been avoiding meaningful human connection all this time#and its obvious that my like#self confidence or whatever is mostly a front#i kind of only really know how to do either extreme#either intense self loathing or annoying arrogance#with grey it was always the former. maybe im compensating for all that time i spent hating myself#i mean i guess it kind of works#like genuinely being annoyingly self confident actually does kind of make you like yourself more#so thats something right#i dont know though i don't know if i even have the capacity to commit to other people#i'm scared is the thing. i gave every piece of me away before and got left with practically breadcrumbs of the person i used to be#i miss how carefree and easy it was for me to give my love away#my fear is that i will be so caught up in protecting myself that i can't give back to someone who loves me#i want to be loved and i want to be able to love but it feels like the part of me that knew how to love is long gone#loving someone used to feel good. now it just feels like a million blades in my chassis
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more than a month after my previous kotor update i am happy to announce that i have finally met jolee and had him join me <3
#el plays kotor#yes im still on kashyyyk dont look at me#i was distracted by other games for a sec lmao but sth made me return to kotor yesterday#and now the party is complete!!!#and i have found 3 star maps and the plot is thickening!!!!#i keep wondering. if i hadn't been spoiled abt the pc's true identity would i have pieced it together by now#bc the foreshadowing isn't exactly subtle#or maybe it just feels unsubtle to me precisely because i know what is being foreshadowed....#but like. from the very beginning carth is like hmm its kinda sus that you happened to be on the endar spire#and then all those conversations with bastila that make u go hmmmm what's that supposed to mean#and then... when getting the star map on kashyyyk the hologram says sth abt you matching the required behavioral patterns or whatev#and that the last time it was used was five years ago And you can reply with 'hey revan was in these parts five years ago right'#like!!! yeah!!!! it was me!!!! i was the last user five years ago thats why i match the pattern i am revannnnnnnn#i have to know. did the first kotor players back in 2003 figure it out by this point hngngngnhng#or like any other players after 2003 who played and managed to avoid spoilers#anyway back to jolee. he is so cool but also so squishy on god#apparently some ppl give him a blaster to keep him out of melee but like you cant give a blaster to a jedi..... so uncivilized.......#i set him to use force powers until he runs out of force points#but the moment he runs out of force points and jumps into the fray he goes down. sigh#maybe im doing something wrong again. maybe i should let go of my jedi pride and just give him a blaster#i should also probably use all those energy shields and battle stimulants i have hoarded. i keep forgetting abt them lmao#also!!! @ the mutual who sent me that kotor related ask also more than a month ago i just wanted to let u kno. i have replied to it#i mean if u missed it or if u didnt get a notif or forgot or anything else that's cool !!#i just get all worried that ppl might think i havent answered and that im ignoring them if they dont indicate they've seen the reply gfhgfh#but that's a me issue. i just wanted to make sure u knew 🫶#anyway!! next stop manaan maybe#but first a detour to tatooine to deal with mission's useless deadbeat brother
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