#maybe something about how hes sick of obsessive fans and just likes casual fans

[mintaikk]

IDK WHY BUT THAR SCENE WHERE FIZZ IS TALKING TO THE DEAF KID IN SIGN LANGUAGE AHDUDIIWNEJTJGB

[lean-mean-demon-genevieve]

It so upsetting knowing she won the rebound girl lottery and she still act like this and promotes like this. Like I just don’t get what her point is with all of this why keep at something that isn’t anything and then put a storefront up? What business model is she following? who is advising? Why does she look like a news guest from 1978 in that video what is with those books? what is that shine? Why can’t she put words together? When did she get stupid? Like she wasn’t a bright bulb but since her turn on Walker she has lost like 30 IQ points! What is this woman’s point at the point why can’t she just spend money maybe do reality show if she need her own cash at least that would be honest why does she keep trying to pretend she has substance? Townn is literally nothing and I had to fight auto correct to even spell it here so it’s less than nothing. Do Jared’s fans really like her this much that she has to pretend to be doing a thing? Wouldn’t they like her if she just went to the spa everyday?

I have a lot of jumbled thoughts. My theory is that Gen thought her life was going to be more full of notoriety that was INDEPENDENT of Jared. And that is what Towwn represents to her and why she will not let it go. It feels important to pursue, but not for the reasons she is claiming. Gen comes from generational wealth and a land of nepotism opportunity. Add to that the signature Middle Aged White Feminist urge to be seen as Mom of the Year, but also not “just a mom,” while centering yourself in every cause…and you’ve got our gal.

If you’ve taken note of how many times she has straight up copied bits and jokes from Jared’s social media that he did with Jensen, how many times she has referenced being a perfectionist and Type A, mentioned that she went to Tisch, or has to constantly be improving her health, then it should be clear that Gen is competitive as all holy f**k. She doesn’t just want to be seen, she wants to be recognized. And she wants you to recognize what a great job she’s doing. AKA, somebody’s mom was a frosty ice queen who didn’t praise her enough and now she is making it everyone’s problem.

The sick part is that since she’s attached to Jared, she never has to do anything very well in order to be liked. She is well protected in this fandom by the full spectrum of casual onlooker to rabid stan. She can stutter and ramble and fidget until the organic cows come home. She is always going to have the “Jared’s Wife” pass to fall back on because fans want to be her. A lot of fans see her “awkward book nerd” shtick as relatable, endearing, and goofy. But that only gets her as far a fandom and that’s not good enough for Gen.

She does not care about the Spn fandom. She cares about building a brand because her acting career was a flop and she has been unable to get out of Jared’s shadow since they got married. I actually think she resents him a whole, whole lot but that’s maybe another post.

Gen is too competitive to just give up and too starved for attention and accolades, so she needs a platform to showcase herself while “doing it all” and then some. I mean, what do you think the (also flopped) Now and Gen blog was for? Don’t you get it? She’s a supportive wife, a mom of 3 young children, has dogs and a great big garden, exercises obsessively regularly, travels across the map, and makes time for the photo shoots and other public appearances ALL WHILE LITERALLY TRYING TO SAVE THE PLANET!!

I mean, wow…I could never. How does she do it?? She’s a superhero…the BEST. 🏆

[archiveikemen]

Abe no Yasuchika Main Story: Chapter 26

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection; expect mistakes, grammatical errors, and some creative liberties. All original content and media used belongs to Cybird. Please support the game by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

Read this before interacting┊aikm’s Genjiden Glossary

This happened a while ago…

It was right after Suzaku was exorcized and the peace in Kyōto was restored.

Yasuchika: — And so, the four gods agreed.

Yoritomo: Is that something you can just say so casually?

Yoshitsune: I sure witnessed some pretty amazing things back there but for some reason he sounds so unconvincing right now.

The Shogunate and Rebel Army shot astonished and exasperated gazes at Yasuchika-san as he passed his report.

(As always, there's amazingly little difference between being serious and his usual self.)

Tamamo: Anyway… it must've been hard on you, Yuno.

Tamamo: I admire your act of bravery towards the end.

Yuno: Thank you… Tamamo.

Shigehira: If you got your fox powers back, does that mean you regained your memories too?

Yuno: Yup. I’m grateful for your care and support throughout my period of memory loss.

(Thinking back, everyone here was really caring towards me.)

I bowed deeply to my fellow members of the Shogunate, and my silver hair swayed before my eyes.

Kagetoki: You got kidnapped but found a way to escape all by yourself, I must say you’re a rather amazing woman.

Morinaga: I know right? If Yuno were a warrior, she would've made tons of military feats by now.

Yuno: I just got lucky in my case… the truly amazing person here is Yasuchika-san.

Yoichi: Certainly. At first, I thought he had become an evil Onmyōji who practiced some shady magic… but in the end, he became an Onmyōji who was like a ray of hope. What a stark difference in character.

Benkei: I feel like we got manipulated by him… but ultimately, what matters most is that everyone on the battlefield was saved.

Sueharu: You got yourself the coolest part, huh.

Kurama: I’m sure Yasuchika is one hell of a powerful guy, but for some reason I don't feel like competing against him.

Yasuchika: You’re making me shy.

Kurama: That wasn't a compliment.

Ibuki: Come on now, don’t say that.

Ibuki: It's the first time in history that someone became a shikigami of the Four Gods.

Ibuki: You’ve become a legend, Yasuchika.

Yasuchika: Maybe I can finally defeat you.

Ibuki: I hate how you’re so obsessed with wanting to get rid of me.

Akihito-sama, who had been right next to Ibuki, shrugged his shoulders and stepped forward.

Akihito: I was so anxious, but anyway… I’m glad you’re safe, Yasuchika.

Yasuchika: — Akihito-sama.

(Akihito-sama must've been worried sick about Yasuchika-san the whole time.)

I could tell what they were both feeling from the way they were looking at each other.

Yasuchika: It was all thanks to you that I could accomplish my self-indulgent goal… thank you.

Akihito: Didn’t I tell you that it was my wish too?

Akihito: However, Yasuchika.

Akihito-sama’s smile vanished and the look in his eyes turned serious.

Akihito: The second promise you made was to not die… were you trying to break it?

Yasuchika: … Erm.

(Yasuchika-san nearly sacrificed his life to save mine and everyone else’s lives.)

(He didn't see himself being in the future he tried to create.)

Yasuchika: — I’m sorry, Akihito-sama.

After he bowed his head and sincerely apologised…

(Oh…)

Yasuchika-san suddenly took my hand.

Yasuchika: Yuno-san is the reason why I can still stand here.

Akihito: … I see.

Akihito-sama turned to me.

Akihito: Thank you, Yuno. For saving Yasuchika.

Akihito: And also— I would like to apologize to you on behalf of the Imperial Court. We have caused you a great deal of trouble.

(Akihito-sama…)

I was surprised by the unexpected apology, but I managed to give a response.

Yuno: I was actually the first one to be saved.

Yuno: And it was painful to be attacked after losing my memories, but…

Yuno: Similar to how the Shogunate and Rebel Army have their reasons to keep fighting, I understand that you and everyone else in the Imperial Court also had their own.

(I hope I have more opportunities to spend time with the Imperial Court in the future and get to know them better.)

Akihito: … I’m afraid I’m going to struggle to keep my head up in front of you from now on.

Yoritomo-sama spoke up after a while.

Yoritomo: So, Yasuchika. How do you intend to finish this up?

Yasuchika: Yeah about that…

Yasuchika: — I want to negotiate with you all.

Yasuchika-san looked at Akihito-sama.

Yasuchika: Akihito-sama, are you sure about this?

Akihito: Of course. I’ve already decided to let you make all the decisions related to this matter until the end.

Yasuchika: Thank you.

(I wonder what he’s going to negotiate about…)

Depending on the topic, the Shogunate and Rebel Army’s reactions may vary widely.

I anxiously watched the situation unfold.

Yasuchika: My request is… for everyone here to sign an agreement of nonaggression with the Imperial Court, even if it's only temporary.

Yoritomo: You were the one who broke the trust between the Shogunate and Imperial Court in the first place, were you not?

Yasuchika: That sounds weak.

Yoshitsune: We have no reason to attack the Imperial Court. But we would need some benefits if we were to promise complete nonaggression.

Yasuchika: You're absolutely correct. Therefore, I have a suggestion.

Yasuchika: Why don't we extend the truce between the Shogunate and Rebel Army for a while more?

(...!)

Not only me, but seemingly everyone in the room was shocked by his suggestion.

Yasuchika: When the two parties combined forces to save the civilians…

Yasuchika: Their soldiers must have lost their morale after witnessing those supernatural stuff like ayakashi and spirits.

Yasuchika: What I’m saying is, this war will have to start again from square one.

Kagetoki: Well I can’t say I disagree.

Benkei: It wouldn't do much good to order an attack at the moment either.

(I used my powers in front of the soldiers too… so I don't blame them for their confusion.)

Yasuchika: Both parties suffered significant damages to their forces during this war. Wouldn't it be most ideal to have more preparation time if you were to restart your war?

Yoshitsune: I hate to say it, but you have a point.

Yoritomo-sama shrugged his shoulders and agreed.

Yasuchika: Moreover… on top of me being blessed by the Four Gods, the Imperial Court has also become stronger.

Yasuchika: Doesn’t that mean we qualify as a third force apart from the Shogunate and Rebel Army?

(A third force…)

Yoritomo: What are you trying to say?

Yasuchika: The Shogunate and Rebel Army will have to be wary of our movements once the war is back on.

Yasuchika: A three-way war sounds tricky.

Yasuchika: Therefore, I believe that in order to avoid such a war… the Shogunate, Rebel Army, and Imperial Court should all come together and sign an agreement of nonaggression.

Yoritomo: But will it really go that smoothly?

Yoritomo-sama scoffed, like he was testing Yasuchika-san.

Yoritomo: The feud between me and Yoshitsune is far too complex.

Yoritomo: If the details of the agreement are not planned out carefully, it could do more harm than good.

Yasuchika: The Imperial Court will oversee all negotiations made between the Shogunate and Rebel Army.

Yasuchika: I kind of know both the Shogunate and Rebel Army to some extent, so I think it won't be hard for me to help establish a common ground.

(Amazing. Yasuchika-san isn't backing down even with Yoritomo-sama pressuring him.)

Yoritomo: — You imprudent man.

Yoritomo-sama thought about it for a while before speaking up again.

Yoritomo: The evacuated civilians witnessed the exorcism of Suzaku, and it didn't take long for word about the country's protector to spread all over Japan.

Yoritomo: Because of this, Yasuchika… it would be equivalent to disregarding the people’s feelings if we were to attack the Imperial Court.

(I see. That’s how influential Yasuchika-san has become.)

Yoritomo: Alright. The Shogunate will have a discussion amongst ourselves.

Yoritomo: What about you, Yoshitsune?

Yoshitsune: …

Yoshitsune: Yasuchika, I have a question.

Yasuchika: What is it?

Yoshitsune: What is the Imperial Court’s goal as a third force?

Yasuchika • Akihito: …

Yasuchika-san and Akihito-sama briefly exchanged looks.

Yasuchika: We will keep that question in mind and find an answer to it later. However…

Yasuchika: The Imperial Court will need some time to restructure ourselves after this incident.

Yasuchika: It appears that all the Onmyōji in the Onmyō Bureau have run away… so I think the restructuring will be rather large scale.

Akihito: I agree. If the Imperial Court is to become a central power, we must change the way we operate.

Akihito: During the ceasefire, we will strengthen our constituency and live up to the people's wishes…

Akihito: We shall embark on the right pathway to becoming an organization worthy of having Yasuchika, the country’s protector, as a part of us.

(The Imperial Court is going to change…)

My heart was pounding rapidly at the thought of the future being repainted to be so bright.

...

— There will be a quick meeting tomorrow to discuss the armistice.

The Shogunate and Rebel Army returned to their respective camps.

(Too many things happened today.)

When I was sitting near the bonfire at the Shogunate’s camp…

Yoritomo: Yuno.

Yuno: Ah… Yoritomo-sama!

(This scene has happened before.)

Yoritomo-sama approached and sat down right next to me.

Yuno: Has your meeting with Kagetoki-san and the others ended?

Yoritomo: Yeah. We discussed the main focus points of tomorrow's meeting.

Yuno: It’s already this late at night and you’re still hard at work.

(It must've been tough on him to have to command the war and evacuate civilians.)

Yoritomo: You're the one who worked the hardest.

Yoritomo: — I’m glad you got your memories back.

Yuno: … Yeah.

The two of us stared at the bonfire in silence for a brief moment.

Yuno: I’m sorry, Yoritomo-sama.

Yuno: Even after so much has happened… I still love Yasuchika-san.

(It hurt my heart so badly even though I couldn't remember why.)

Yoritomo: I know.

Yuno: Eh?

Yoritomo: You always did whatever you wished, even without your memories.

Yoritomo: Once the armistice is signed, it will mark an end to your job in the Shogunate.

Yoritomo: You have the right to choose what you want to do after that.

Yoritomo: But as for me…

Yoritomo-sama fidgeted with my hair using his fingertips.

Yoritomo: I feel that it's a pity to give you to Yasuchika.

Yuno: Yoritomo-sama…?

Yoritomo-sama removed his hand from my hair and gave me his usual haughty smile.

Yoritomo: The Kamakura Shogunate will always have a place for you.

Yoritomo: Remember that as you embark on your own journey.

Yuno: … Thank you, Yoritomo-sama.

(I’ll always be proud of the days I spent with the Shogunate.)

In the evening, six days later…

Yasuchika: Sorry I’m late, Yuno-san.

Yuno: Ah, no worries. I was busy treating the wounded as well.

I met Yasuchika-san by the lake.

Yuno: The final meeting ended today, right?

Yasuchika: Yeah. It took quite a while, but the Shogunate and Rebel Army finally had an agreement.

(That's great to know.)

We sat side by side under a shady tree, feeling the cool lakeside breeze.

Yuno: We’re going to have peace for a while.

Yasuchika: It feels strange knowing that all my scheming brought peace to the world.

I found myself grinning as I was drawn to the way Yasuchika-san laughed awkwardly.

Yuno: This is going to be a norm from now on, you’ll get used to it.

Yasuchika: I hope I get used to it fast.

Yasuchika: When that comes, it’ll become natural for me to stand by your side.

My heart ached sweetly as he lovingly stroked my hair.

Yasuchika: Also, I heard this from Tamamo. … You decided not to break your deal with him?

Yuno: That's right.

Yuno: So can you make me your assistant again?

Yasuchika: Yuno-san…

Yuno: I’ll still work as an apothecary because that's my dream job, but…

Yuno: Since you're now the country’s protector, I want to help you.

(Ah…)

My skin grew hot when he pulled me into a tight hug.

Yasuchika: — I’m so happy. Thank you.

Yuno: … Me too.

(I can boldly hold Yasuchika-san’s hand now.)

Yuno: I’m grateful to Tamamo for allowing it.

Tamamo seems to have taken a liking to Kamakura, so he’ll be staying on as a house guest from now on.

Yasuchika: Hey, Yuno-san.

Yuno: Yes?

Yasuchika-san gazed at me in the light of the setting sun.

Yasuchika: I love you.

Yuno: W-why so sudden…

Yasuchika: Hmm there are many things I want to tell you that I’ve never been able to.

Yuno: … Me too.

Yuno: Today and always, I love you.

Yasuchika: …

Yasuchika-san’s eyes widened slightly when I confessed my true feelings.

(I love how he can so casually say he loves me, but get so flustered when I do the same.)

(It’ll be great if being loved becomes a norm for Yasuchika-san.)

Yasuchika: It's embarrassing… my heart is fully occupied by my feelings for you.

Yuno: Do you hate it?

Yasuchika: Nope.

Yasuchika: — It makes me happy.

(Ah, that's good.)

An image of the young Yasuchika-san, who had grown up without knowing love and had a dead look in his eyes, flashed across my mind for a split second and vanished.

Yuno: I hope that we'll have tons of fun and happy memories together.

I learnt that Yasuchika-san had a precognitive dream about my death, and he changed that future.

(That’s why I’m going to devote all of me to this man from now on.)

Yasuchika: I’m up for anything as long as it's with you.

Yasuchika-san’s eyes that were so close to mine had a continuous burning flame of passion behind them.

Yasuchika: I would've done everything possible to become more powerful, but I wanted to keep my humanity.

Yasuchika: In the past… I wanted to protect you with these hands.

Yuno: In the past?

Yasuchika: Yeah. But there were other people who also wanted to protect you.

Yasuchika-san smiled bitterly, perhaps he had a specific person in mind.

Yasuchika: But that’s alright.

Yasuchika: I decided to fight back.

Yasuchika: I want you to stay by my side simply because I like you. It’s such a laughable and miserable desire.

Yasuchika: Even if everyone forbids it… or you get scared, I’ll force you to do that.

Yuno: … I won’t be scared.

Yuno: I’m going to be stronger than everyone else.

Yuno: I… I want to protect you too.

Yasuchika: …

Yasuchika-san touched my face as if trying to ascertain my features.

His handsome face drew closer and…

Yuno: Mm…

A sigh spilled from my mouth the moment my lips were stolen.

(The sound my chest is making… it's so loud.)

Yasuchika: How lovely. You had this same look last night.

Yuno: Ah…

(I got reminded of all sorts of things when you said that… please don't.)

Last night — Yasuchika-san and I had our first time.

Perhaps sensing that I was getting embarrassed, Yasuchika-san let out a low chuckle.

Yasuchika: Hey, Yuno-san. Last night, I tried to “persuade” you in my own way to remain in Kyōto…

Yasuchika: I’m going to ask you the same thing one last time. Just tell me honestly what your choice is, you don't have to worry about me.

(What?)

Yasuchika: Do you want to go back to Kamakura?

Yasuchika-san was no longer smiling.

He waited for my answer with a serious look in his eyes.

Yuno: I…

With the path leading to my future laid out in front of me, my answer to him was…

[theonewiththefanfics]

Don’t Worry, Darling (one-shot)

Synopsis: Falling in love with a co-star is something that can hurt, especially when it seems like they’re talking to other people behind your back, but falling in love with a co-star and being unable to help when they’re sick, is even worse.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT 

Warnings: COVID-19, sickness, swearing, SMUT (fingering, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

Word count: 11 968 (yoikes)

Please note I’m not trying to make light of the pandemic or the virus and those impacted by it. It’s a very real and serious thing, which is why I decided to use it. Please stay safe and healthy, follow the local health guidelines and if you have the ability please get vaccinated. Let’s keep ourselves and one another safe, frens :)

When Y/N got the call she’d gotten the role of Jack’s ex-wife who’d disappeared in mysterious circumstances, she was over the moon. As a Marvel alumnus, she was excited to work with Florence, as she’d loved Midsommar, and knowing she was going to be one of the new faces carrying the next Marvel chapter, she wanted to get to know her. Having played Tony Stark’s adopted daughter since the age of six, she was very protective of the franchise but was excited to see where it’d go.

      Then Shia LaBeouf, Chris Pine as well with Dakota Johnson’s announcements coming soon after, Y/N got even more stoked, and with Olivia Wilde leading all of them, she was sure the movie would be a hit.

      Shia and Dakota had to drop out due to scheduling issues (which Y/N couldn’t lie – she was kind of happy Shia couldn’t do it), and that's where Harry Styles took over the role of Jack with Kiki Layne Dakota’s Margaret.

      Now, when Y/N had seen Harry’s picture next to the re-cast e-mail the whole production had been sent out, she might’ve had a little (a massive, like a ginormous) freak-out. As much as she’d grown up listening to classic rock, due to Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man, she’d been an avid One Direction fan. Like to the point, it might even seem a bit creepy. Y/N had sort of grown out of the obsessive phase of it all, but most definitely admired the solo albums they’d been able to produce, and when Dunkirk came out, she was excited to see Harry join the acting world, with the amount of talent he had.

      The first table read was sort of awkward, and definitely the weirdest one, given how a pandemic had started, and everyone was at their respective homes using Zoom. 

      Y/N and Florence had been the first to join the conversation about half an hour before the official beginning, and by the time everyone else did, they were crying from laughter and had to excuse themselves from their computers to collect whatever remaining composure they had. 

      “You two alright?” Oliva Wilde had raised her eyebrow, as the women re-joined, still chuckling. “Will we have to use body doubles for the scenes you two are in?”

      “No!

      “Nohooo!” both of them yelled through laughter. “We’ll be as professional as professionals are. Which is very professional.”

      Then Y/N made the mistake of glancing at Florence’s square, and the two busted out laughing again, spewing apologies in between, but no one seemed to really mind. In fact, it looked like they appreciated how casual and open everyone was being, hoping the set wouldn’t be stiff either when they moved onto filming.

      And for the two women, it wasn’t really. Actually, they grew closer than ever. The amount of time Florence spent in Y/N’s trailer was to the point that the two started to talk about just moving in together. After scouring the nearby apartments for rent, they settled on a three-bedroom apartment, as two-bedroom ones were non-existent. 

      When Harry grew closer to them as well, given how he spent quite some time with both women, they suggested he move in as well.

      “You know, what? I changed my mind. You’re taking away our closet, and I don't like that,” Y/N pouted, watching as Florence lifted a pile of her clothes and moved it to her room. “That’s not very ‘treat people with kindness’ of you.”

      All he did was flick a finger at her forehead, which Y/N swatted away with a smile. When he’d double-checked about moving in with them (which, mind you was the seventh time, and half his stuff was already there), the two women were ecstatic. They got along amazingly on set and basically having a sleepover with friends every night suited all of them quite well. 

      At that moment, Y/N was sitting on the edge of her bed, knitting while Harry painted all of their toes and Florence put on facemasks.

      “Wine!” Y/N suddenly exclaimed, almost knocking over the light blue nail polish bottle as she jumped up, throwing her needles back on the bed. “We need wine!”

      “Do not ruin my masterpiece!” Harry hollered after her, as she waddled away on her heels, toes separated by foam and hight up in the air. She even had to manoeuvre around the carpet to avoid any hairs and fibres that could get stuck inside the still wet lacquer.

      It took her a second to find a bottle all three of them could enjoy, given their tastes were so different – Y/N preferred sweet and red, and didn’t care if it was a three-dollar bottle from Target, Harry had a bit more of an expensive pallet, giving preference to something with a more of a lingering aftertaste and in the higher ranges of price point, while Florence liked rosé and white wines.  

      Taking two glasses in one hand and the bottle with a third glass between her fingers, she shuffled back to her room when she heard the two muttering something in low voices before Harry whispered harshly, “I’m not telling Y/N that!” 

      “Won’t me what?” Y/N’s question made him and Florence spring back where they’d been engaged in a heated conversation when she re-entered the room, putting the wine bottle and glasses on the nightstand.

      Florence waved her off, giving her a smile, she didn’t believe in. “Nothing. Now come on, Harry will do your fingernails now, and I think it’s about time the mask came off.”

      And that’s when Y/N’s heart dropped. She’d been in the industry long enough to know how fake people could be, how they could put on smiles so inviting and friendly while hiding their true intentions behind them. She just didn’t think two people she’d found so genuine and sweet would be like that.

      And the thing was – it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the two whispering like that and hushing up when they saw her enter the room or even come somewhere near to them. 

In the beginning, Y/N had chalked it up to the two being closer, given they had to spend more time together, so they knew one another better, but this time sort of solidified it wasn’t the fact the two were closer, it had to deal with Y/N specifically.

      So, she started to distance herself. She’d had enough users in her life to last her for the rest of it. Y/N excused herself from the movie nights they had on most Fridays, she no longer joined in on the cooking sessions and mostly spent time in her room, or on work calls.

      When she re-entered the flat, four weeks after their falling out, they watched as she nodded to them, and went inside her room, closing the door, much like she’d been doing for the past thirty days. 

      “Do you think she knows?” Harry asked, brows furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth as he hoped the doors would open, yet, obviously, they didn’t. 

      “Well, I haven’t told her, and unless you did, then I doubt it…”

      Harry stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna talk to her.”

      “You think it’s a good idea?”

      “No, but if she’s upset maybe she needs to talk to someone.”

      “Or maybe she wants to be alone.”

      Harry bit his lip thinking over Florence’s words. When he was upset about something, he himself did like to kind of retreat and become a little bit of a recluse, to sort out his emotions before anyone else tried to jump in and help with it, but the thing was – Y/N’s distancing started the night when she’d walked in on the two of them arguing, and it’d been about the girl in question herself, so he shook his head. “I’ll just ask if she’s alright.”

      He took a deep breath and went to enter the room he hadn’t seen in almost a month. “Hey.” Harry poked his head through Y/N’s door, making her swirl around in her chair. She looked adorable to him. She’d changed into a big fluffy nightgown, the hood up, a headband pushing hair away from her face with a green facemask covering her skin. The domestic life flashed through Harry’s head like a freight train, as it was something he craved, but pushed it away. There was no daydreaming before figuring out what was in front of him in reality. “You okay?”

      “ 'M fine.” She shot him a quick smile. “Why? Did Olivia send something new for the script?”

      “Um, no, ‘s just you’ve been, I dunno – detached a bit?”

      “Look, Harry… I may be younger than you, but I’ve been in this industry longer than you or Florence.” Y/N stood and shrugged before crossing her arms. “And the thing is – I don’t care for shit like that. So, you two can gossip and whisper and talk whatever you want about me behind my back. Everyone else is doing that so, you’re not that special. But’ I’d prefer if you did it somewhere else besides my room, my space, and I’ll say this once, but very clearly – we’re not friends. I don’t need friends like you. We’ll be civil and we’ll do our jobs, but…” Harry’s heart broke at her eyes, seeing the pain in them as she nodded and made sure he understood where she stood. “We’re not friends.”

      She didn’t leave any room for argument. When Harry left, Y/N didn’t even look over her shoulder to see him exit.

      The next couple of mornings she didn’t see them leave nor come back, seeing as Y/N had the week off from filming, but the morning of the seventh day was awkward as hell, given how all of them had to go and get tested, and well, they had their allocated time slots one after the other. Usually, they’d take one car together, but this time, Y/N drove off on her own, while Harry and Florence carpooled on their own.

      The tests were always nerve-wracking. If one person went down, the whole production did for at least two weeks. And as much as she hated going in alone, she was glad no one was with her in the car, because as she stepped out, a certain notion swept over her that this would be a lot different than usual.

      A doctor dressed head to toe in protective gear motioned for her to sit down, as another processed her ID and work ID. Her leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, and he eyed her. If she could see his lips, she was sure they’d be pursed. “Anything wrong?” He handed her back the IDs before moving to the table where a set of large q-tips seemed to lay in sterile packs.

      Y/N sighed, biting her lip and nodded. “Woke up with a sore throat and a small cough appeared on my way here as well. I wiped and cleaned everything down at the apartment I’m staying at and wore gloves and a mask the whole time.”

      “Anything else?” the doctor asked, writing down each word as Y/N said. “The feeling of breaking bones, fever, muscle pain, eyes hurting when you look up, lost sense of smell or taste?”

      “No, nothing like that. Just a sore throat and a small cough.”

The doctor let out a large sigh, probably from having to wear a full-on hazmat suit. “Alright. Just for safety reasons, so we know who’s a potential contact person, who are you staying with?”

      “Florence Pugh and Harry Styles. We’re renting an apartment together.”

      “Do you know if they’ve had any symptoms?”

      “No,” Y/N shook her head honestly. “And I haven’t really interacted with them this past week, as they’ve been on set, and I didn’t have any scenes to film, and by the time they get back, I’m already asleep, and I’m still asleep when they leave so there’s been no direct contact. We have our own kitchenware, so there shouldn’t be any direct contact. I think.”

      That last bit was half-true, seeing as she hadn’t been asleep when they came back, but she might as well have been. The second Y/N heard the door click, she’d place her headphones on or leave the room, only glimpsing the two faces falling as she did that.

      The doctor clearing his throat and motioning for Y/N to open her mouth so he could take a swab and then to do the same for both her nostrils, was what brought her out of it. She was so used to it, it was like nothing at that point. “Okay. We’ll need you to stay in the car while the test is being run, and if it comes back positive, you’ll be placed in a separate flat, as to not endanger the rest.”

      Her ‘alright’ was barely audible. Fuck. It just felt like the universe was against her. First, the two people she’d gotten closest to were whispering behind her back and being fake to her face, now she might have a super contagious virus to which there was no medicine really, nor was there a vaccine, let alone the thought she’d have to miss filming for potentially more than two weeks.

      The thirty minutes of wait were agonizing, her leg bouncing up and down. Y/N’s eyes kept watching the line of cars slowly move forward through the tent and then settle behind hers. She knew Harry was about five cars away, and she was glad he wasn’t closer. They weren’t really allowed to get out of their vehicles while the tests were being run, and Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to not look back at him through her review mirror. 

      Two more minutes passed when finally, one of the med students in the full hazmat suit came up and knocked on her car window.

      “Miss Y/L/N?”

      “Yes?” 

      “ID please.” It was standard so that no med info got leaked. The only reason she had to rummage through her stuff was, because she’d bite the little plastic card in half if she didn’t throw it somewhere deep inside her bag.

      “So.” The man sighed, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Y/N understood, but still, he had to confirm it to her. “Your test came back positive for COVID-19. The production has been informed, and for safety reasons, everyone will have to self-isolate for two weeks.”

      Y/N’s head slammed against the back of the seat. “Fuck. Okay.”

      “Because so far, you’re the only positive case, you’ll be placed into quarantine. We’ll need the address you’re staying at, and if you need anything from your apartment, we can send someone over to grab a few things. You’ll have to follow the black SUV right there.” He pointed further down the lot where indeed a black SUV stood. “They’ll take you to where the quarantine apartments are. Is there anything immediate you’ll need?”

      “I – uh – I need my pills, my birth control that is. I take it every evening. Computer, chargers. That’s the most immediate I can think of. Maybe some food? I didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast.”

      Even through the mask, Y/N could see the man smile. “Well arrange that. In the meantime, here’s the number for the coordinators who’ll get you the rest of your things and deliver them to you.”

      “Thank you. I’ll call my assistant, and she’ll drive down to the apartment. She knows where everything is.”

      “Have you been in close contact with her?”

      “Just through the phone. She hasn’t been on set in almost a month, as I told her only to come when it’s an emergency… Guess this is it.” Y/N let out an awkward chuckle.

      And truly that was it. With one last motion as to where the SUV stood, she started back up the engine, reversed out of the spot and followed the car to where the ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ production had set up a few quarantine apartments, specifically for actors and crew, speed-dialling her assistant Anna and letting her know of the situation.

      “Shit, girl,” she’d cursed. “That sucks.”

      “Tell me about it.”

      “Okay,” Anna huffed. “Do you have a spare key for the apartment by any case or do I need to go down to the lot and ask Harry or Florence?”

      “Both of them will be at the apartment, given how everything’s shut down, so they should be able to open the door for you. Hopefully, if both of them are negative. If not, call me, I’ll tell you where we hide the spare. Thank you, Anna.”

      “Of course.”

      As Y/N pulled up behind the SUV, a man and a woman in face guards and masks stepped out. She ended the call and stepped out as well, pulling on a cloth face mask, an envelope in their hands, which they handed to her.

      “Your flat’s on the third floor, 367. When you have the list of things you need, forward them to us, and we’ll gather your things.”

      Y/N nodded and gave them a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

      With a sigh, she took her bag and entered the complex. As much as she’d only had a small cough in the morning and a sore throat, walking up those flights of stairs made her winded more than it usually would. Maybe it was the knowledge she had a sickness, or maybe it was stress about missing work and putting everyone on lockdown, or maybe it was the combination of it all with her falling out with Harry and Florence on top.

      She placed the key in the lock and twisted, revealing a studio type apartment, and it was so bare it made her heart clench. As much as she felt awkward being around Florence and Harry, their flat was a bit messy, had little pieces of clothing thrown around, giant knitted blankets on the sofas, a candle always lit whenever someone was home. Harry’s shoes were typically all over the place while Y/N’s make up was scattered around everywhere. Literally. Florence and Harry had gotten back early one morning from a night shoot and found her looking under the sofas for one of her lash glues as she started to get ready for the day. They’d made that flat their home for the time being. This… this was nothing like that.

      She threw the keys on the small kitchen counter and shrugged off her jacket. They was going to be a long two weeks. At best.

 ***

       Back at their place, Florence and Harry were pacing around, having heard the news that someone was positive, and everything had to shut down for the time being, yet Y/N was nowhere to be seen when a knock at the door disrupted them.

      Harry was there and flinging it open in a matter of a second, only to be stopped by Anna instead of Y/N.

      “Hey.” His brows furrowed as she and two people all wearing masks and gloves entered. “What’s going on? Is Y/N alright?”

      Anna sighed, nodding her head for the two strangers to go towards the woman’s room. “She was the one who tested positive for the virus. Gave me a list of the things she’d need while in quarantine. We’re here to pick ‘em up and get them to her.”

      “And she’s not doing that here?”

      “Per the safety instructions, she’s been placed in a separate flat in self-isolation.”

      “She could’ve done that here. We’d be fine with it,” Florence butted in, arms crossed over her chest. “We’re more than willing to take care of her. She’ll need someone to help her.”

      “You both tested negative.” One of the people piped up, carrying a box of books and yarn. “I’m sorry, but she’ll have to quarantine separately until she’s no longer infected. She’s under the supervision of doctors, and she knows if an emergency happens, they’ll be there in ten minutes tops. I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

      Harry sighed, nodding as the people exited their place, but before Anna could leave, he took hold of her bicep. “Hey, can you please tell her to call me? I just wanna talk.”

      “I uh – ” Anna furrowed her brows, showing Harry that Y/N hadn’t said anything to her about the falling out they’d had. “I’ll uh, yeah. I’ll do that.”

      With that he was left to close the door and just wait for… anything.

 ***

       In the two hours Y/N had spent in the apartment, she already felt like going insane, having been left alone with her thoughts, so how she was going to do another two weeks after finally getting back into the rhythm of work was beyond her. She didn’t have any of her knitting supplies, didn’t have any of her books (yet), and most likely there was no reason to look at her script anymore, as she’d made up her mind about a lot of things. 

      There was a knock at the door, and Y/N instantly had a mask on her face and gloves on her hands. She peeped through the peephole and when she saw boxes lined in the hallway, three people in masks and faceguards at least six feet away, only then did she open the door and give them a wave.

      “Everything should be here, but if you need anything else just pop me a message.” Anna then pointed at a bag that sat atop everything. “There are the most important things, so you don’t have to rummage through everything and a pizza is on the way while I do some grocery shopping for you. And umm, there’s a paper you need to sing that you know you need to be in self-isolation and that you understand what happens if you’re not.”

      Y/N hoped all of them understood she was smiling underneath the mask, grateful for having them help her out like that. “Thank you. So much.”

      She rushed inside found a pen and signed it, moving between the boxes to place the papers on the stairs so that they could be safely retrieved. With that, the two assigned people left, leaving Anna to say goodbye.

      “Call me.” She pointed at Y/N. “No matter what, even if you just wanna talk for five seconds.”

      “Will do.” Y/N nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “If I could, I’d hug you.”

      Anna sighed, cocking her head. “Same. And umm, Harry told me to ask you to call him.”

      “Yeah, uh thank you.” She knew he probably wanted to talk, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it still made her stumble on her words. “Take care, Anna.”

      “You too.”

***

       The next two days Y/N spent worrying as to how to present her decisions to the cast and crew. She felt worse with every hour, and with that had come her thought process, but as much as everyone was going to be impacted by what she was going to do, Olivia would be the one dealing with it most, so later that night she hopped on a Zoom call with her director.

      “Hey, girl.” Olivia gave her a warm smile, and Y/N almost melted. God, she loved that woman. She was like the older sister she never had. “How are you doing?”

      “I’m alright. Feelin’ kind of woozy from time to time, throat’s killing me, and I’m fairly certain I’m getting abs from how much I’m coughing.” That made both of them chuckle before Y/N bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she sighed, looking at Olivia. “The reason I called you is that umm… well, I think it’d be a lot more cost-effective for you to re-cast me. We’ve barely shot one scene with me. I’ll be out of commission for two weeks, as a minimum. It could get worse. And I’m definitely not going to be back before I get two negative consecutive tests.”

      Olivia shook her head, running down her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Y/N, I really don’t want to do this. There’s a reason we cast you. You’re amazing, and yours and Harry’s chemistry is off the charts. We’re all quarantining for two weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be fine in no time, back on set and killing it like you always do.”

      “You don’t know that.”

      “Of course, I do! Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

      “All I’m saying it could take up to a month to get those two negative tests. By that point, you could’ve shot at least a fourth of my scenes. Olivia…” Y/N gave her a small, sad smile. “I know you know I’m right. I hate to pass on this, but I won’t hinder the production. If you want my input, I’ll help with the re-casting, if it takes the guilt away.”

      “I still feel like shit this is an option we even have to consider.”

      “’S not your fault. You didn’t get me sick. We should be happy it’s just me, not someone else or more than one person.”

            ***

      For two more days, it was radio silence from Y/N, and Harry and Florence were anxious messes. If they could distract themselves from the falling out while on set, then now, having to be cooped up inside the apartment with pretty much nothing to do, was so much worse, not to mention Y/N declined all of their calls and left their messages on read, leaving the only option for checking in either through Anna or what she decided to share on her social media, which wasn’t a lot. But the thing was, Harry knew his best bet was to call Y/N in the middle of the night. Disorientated and barely awake, she probably wouldn’t look at the caller ID once. And he was right.

      A bleary face appeared on his screen, eyes squinting as she tried to block out as much of the light as possible. “Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, and Harry’s heart clenched at just how much pain her throat must be in, let alone how she was feeling as a whole.

      “Hey, there, lovie.”

      It took her a second to comprehend the person who was speaking, and she’d be lying if she said hearing Harry’s voice didn’t bring her some sort of joy. “Hey, H. Are you alright? Why are you still up?”

      “I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about you.”

      Y/N hummed, rolling on her side, and immediately regretting it as the action elicited a coughing fit. “Yeah?” she asked hoarsely. “ ’Nd what about me?”

      ‘How shitty I feel about everything’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m so fucking terrified’, but instead he asked, “How are you doing?”

      “Alright,” Y/N croaked out before her body was racked with coughs once more. Harry’s own chest hurt just hearing them. “Fever’s finally down, so I’m getting some sort of sleep. Throat’s killing me though, and they’ve hooked me up to an IV. They’ll be coming in two hours or so to change the bag. How are you?” she asked quietly. “How’s Florence?”

      “She’s alright. Upset. Just like I am.”

      Y/N’s brows furrowed. “Why’re you upset?”

      “Are you kidding me? You’re sick, alone in quarantine and… and we can’t help you. I can’t help you.”

      A genuine chuckle escaped her. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, Styles. Could be my personal nurse. Fetch me my water and shit.”

      “No, but at least I’d like to be there for you.”

      “Harry…” 

      “I like you,” he said after taking a deep breath, hoping that the break he’d heard in Y/N’s voice as she’d said his name wasn’t just because of the sickness, but because her heart thudded just as fast as his when he thought of them together, that her mind reeled with the possibilities of where their futures could take them and that whenever they touched, she could feel the electricity that ran through his fingertips, igniting his whole body. “That’s what Florence and I were whispering about all the time. Is that I’m madly crushing on you, and I couldn’t gather the courage to say it to you.”

      A strong coughing fit made her drop the phone on the bed and lean over, as she gasped for breath, and through it all, all Harry wanted was to be there. Fuck him possibly getting the virus, as long as he could make it easier for her in some way. 

      “ ’M sorry,” Y/N whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible as to not aggravate her throat. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

      “Hey, there’s nothing to apologise. You’re sick, you can’t help –”

      “No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry I assumed you and Florence were talking bad behind my back. I never should’ve done that. And this is not an excuse, I’m not trying to shift the blame from being in the wrong, but I like you too.” She gave him a shy grin that he thought was as bright as the sun. “I really like you too, Harry. I think that’s why it hurt so much to hear you two whispering ‘bout something. And thinking it was about me, and it was something bad, hurt even more, ‘cause I really connected with Flo, and I kinda, well I kind of fell for you. Hard.”

      “You did?” His tone was like he didn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

      “Yeah. A lot actually… I – I really like you, Harry.”

      He couldn’t explain how his heart expanded in his chest while simultaneously was being crushed by his inability to help, by the distance between them, while the hope that glimmered in his eyes at Y/N’s words made her heart break as much as his was, when he asked, “So you won’t resign?”

“Harry,” Y/N made her voice as tough as it could sound with her condition. “I told them to re-cast me not because of you. I’ve been on enough sets and worked with enough pricks, and still gotten the job done. Genuinely, this is not because of you or Florence. I just – I just don’t want to hold up production. You’ll all be out in what – twelve days or something? I’ll be here for at least twice that, if everything goes the way it’s going right now.”

      “I don’t want anyone else to play Larie. You are my Larie,” he muttered, which made Y/N smile, but in a true Y/N fashion she just wanted to make others feel better. 

      “You do know Jack murders Larie in the middle of the night.”

      Harry’s mouth opened like a fishes’ while Y/N’s mouth pulled up in a grin. “That’s – that’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

      Both of them were laughing now, all tension having evaporated. 

      “I know.” She bit on her lower lip. “But um… we’ve gotta be practical. I sent Olivia my resignation letter already, and she signed.”

      She saw Harry sigh and throw back his head at her words. 

      “ ’M sorry, Haz. I didn’t want to but –”

      “I know.” His smile was gentle, understanding. “You always put everyone before yourself. God, this just sucks major ass.”

      “Trust me,” Y/N started before being interrupted by another major coughing fit. “I –,” she took in a breath. “I know.”

      Her heart cracked seeing Harry’s face and his green eyes, the eyes she’d gotten lost in more times than she’d ever admitted being lined by tears. “I wish I could help you.”

      “But you are. Just by – by talking to me, by keeping my mind off things. You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know.”

      “When you get out, I’m taking you on a date.”

      Y/N couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face. For the first time in a while, she felt good, despite being sick. “Is that a threat, Styles?”

      “It’s a fucking promise.”

      That night she fell asleep listening to Harry talking, seeing as it became harder and harder for her to do so, so he just took over, telling her stories that lulled her to dreamland where he was there, and she could touch him. 

      The following days she also had calls with Florence and the rest of her cast to explain the situation, but she wasn’t doing much talking anymore, and one night they’d even seen her almost throw up from coughing so much, which broke everyone’s hearts. They were lucky the only Covid case before Y/N had been a light one, so witnessing just how brutal it could be, made everyone appreciate what they had, but at the same time, feel as helpless as ever.

      A week and a half in, that was when shit really hit the fan. Despite her feeling shitty the previous days, now Y/N woke up from the feeling as if she was drowning. She’d fallen asleep while talking with Harry on FaceTime, his features illuminated on her phone. At first, she thought it was just her dream still lingering and causing that effect, but when after a minute or so her lungs still remained on fire, she knew she had to dial the doctors.

      In five minutes’ time, an ambulance was at her door, and it was a miracle she’d been able to get out of bed to open it because the second she did, her whole body pretty much collapsed into the arms of one of the nurses. 

*** 

      “Come on,” Harry muttered into the phone, pulling on a pair of trousers as quickly as possible and a knitted sweater he took from the floor as he immediately tried to redial her, having heard the call drop. “Come on! Pick up, Y/N!” Her voicemail answered instead.

      “Damn it!”

      It took Harry seven minutes with the way he was driving to get to her assigned isolation place, only to be greeted by red and blue flashing lights, an ambulance right in front of the entrance, and it took Harry five seconds to feel his heart drop as a team of three doctors wheeled out a gurney on which lay Y/N, face covered in a mask, an IV stuck inside her arm while a huge plastic cover domed over her body.

      Without even thinking about himself or his safety, Harry jumped out of his car, rushing towards the ambulance.

      “Sir.” One of the doctors extended a palm towards him, keeping him back as Harry tried to get towards the inside of the car. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

      “Is that Y/N?” Harry felt like he was spinning out of control, and his mind was dizzy from not being able to take in a proper breath. “Is – is that Y/N?” 

      “Are you family?”

      “I –,” Harry so desperately wanted to say yes, to say he was her boyfriend at least, but he couldn’t lie. “No, I’m just her collegue – friend! I’m her friend. Is she alright?”

      “Okay, well is there anyone we can contact from her family?”

      Harry nodded, knowing that her mum and dad were on her emergency contact lists. “But her family is out of the country, and they won’t be able to fly out with all the restrictions in place.”

      “Alright.” The doctor sighed before looking back inside the car. In a way, Harry was happy he couldn’t see Y/N because he was sure if he did, he’d completely break down and crumble to the ground. “We’ll contact her parents, but if you could leave us your number as an emergency contact on place that’d be a lot of help.”

      “Okay, uh…” Harry took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then let it out before reciting the number he used while in the USA and his permanent UK number as well, so he could be reachable anywhere and at any point in day or night, no matter the time. 

      “Well keep you up to date.”

      And with that, the ambulance doors shut, and they rushed away, the vailing of sirens echoing in the dark night, leaving Harry with a hand in his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and without a clue as to what to do.

***

      In the end, Harry had gone back to his car and cried for what felt like ages, but instead, it was just twenty minutes. He pulled himself together but was still shaking as he made his way back to the flat where Florence basically ripped open the door. Seeing his face told her everything she needed to know.

      “She’ll be alright,” the woman muttered as she soothed Harry by rubbing a palm up and down his back, letting him hide his face in her shoulder. “It’s Y/N. She’d pull through an atomic bomb.”

      They spent the rest of the night and the following day on the couch, glued to Harry’s phone waiting for any sort of updates. From time to time a text message came from the hospital letting them know what procedures were being done on Y/N, that her parents have been informed, and if necessary, they’d allowed Harry to be the main contact person because of his proximity to their daughter.

      Three days later and the quarantine for the rest of the cast and crew ended, yet when they returned to the set, everyone was in low spirits. Especially, Harry – he was miserable. Every moment spent not reciting lines or acting was occupied with the thoughts of Y/N, how she was doing, was she improving, was she still breathing, how he wanted to just ditch everything and run to her, to help in whatever way he could.

      “This sucks,” Florence grumbled, arms crossed over her chest as they took a break while re-setting already in for the fifth day of filming, eight since Y/N’d been in the hospital. “Can’t believe they won’t allow a phone in with her.”

      “It’s the same policy for everyone, but trust me,” Harry sighed and looked up at the bright blue sunny sky above. “The number of times I got out of my bed in the middle of the night and had the car keys in hand is ridiculous. And the number of times I’ve thought about breaking into that hospital is even more concerning.”     

      Florence let out a small chuckle and nudged his shoulder. “I’d cover for you if you did. As long as she doesn’t have to be there alone.” She hung her head, blond strands falling down to curtain her face. “Can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

      Harry just sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could say. 

      Something vibrated in his pocket, but he no longer furrowed his brows when unknown numbers called, knowing it was from the hospital. It was nerve-wracking though to pick up the call each time because he had to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of bad news, even though he always hoped for good ones. 

      “Yes, hi. Hello. I – oh,” he put a hand over his mouth and sagged down onto a chair. “Oh, thank god, thank you, doctor. Yeah. Yes, I’ll let her know, and someone will be there to open the flat. Thank you again. For everything.”

      He took away the phone from his ear and stared at the ground for a minute before leaping up and hugging Florence, laughter escaping his mouth.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, it’s the opposite. Y/N’s out of the hospital.”

      “Oh thank god!” Her hands flew to hug him back.

      “She’ll have to stay in self-isolation until the two negative tests and will be monitored by the doctors, but she’s out.”

        Immediately he was dialling her, and Harry had never been as happy for the invention of a video call, because when he saw Y/N’s face light up the screen, as tired as she looked, it was the most beautiful sight that graced his eyes.

      “Hey, lovie.” His voice was soft and low as if anything louder would worsen her state.

      Her ‘hey’ was barely audible, but he heard it, and it made the weight of a boulder drop off his shoulders.

      “I’m so – I mean we all are so happy you’re back home.”

      Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I’m happy too,” she whispered. “I missed you. Missed everyone, but most of all I missed you.”

      Harry was happy they were separated by a screen because if she was anywhere in a five-mile radius, he was sure she would be able to hear his heart beat out of his ribcage at her words. “How are you feeling?”

      “ ‘M alright,” Y/N tried to let him know. “Very tired.”

      “Then get back to sleep, lovie.”

      Y/N shook her head. “Wanna talk to you.”

      “I’ll keep talking,” Harry promised. “Like we did before, okay.”

      “Okay…”

      And so, he did. He kept talking as Y/N listened, and he watched as her eyes slowly closed before she drifted off to sleep. Even though Harry had to go back to filming, he didn’t dare end the call. He’d never end the call. 

***

      It took a month and a half for Y/N to get those two consecutive negative tests, to feel somewhat human again and when she did, she probably garnered at least seven speeding tickets with how fast she was driving down to the set.

      It was the most inconspicuous outfit she could scramble together, consisting of a hoodie and baseball cap, as she watched Harry as Jack lean down to peck the actress’s lips, then step into the vintage car and rev out in the driveway, while a dishevelled Florence started the scene from the side, eyes racking over Jack’s first wife, who was dressed the exact same way, hair styled like hers and even nails painted the same, her character putting all the puzzle pieces together. 

      “And cut!” Olivia yelled across the lot, nudging Y/N’s side and giving her a smirk. “He’s gonna freak. You’re all he’s been talking about on set. We almost had to put a ban on you as a topic,” she muttered that part so only the woman could hear while telling everyone to re-set, so they could do the scene from another angle, but not before asking the three actors to come and look at the monitors so they could understand how to move in order to keep the continuity.

      Y/N moved to the side, ducking her head down as Harry, Florence and Mandy, the actress that took over her role, all leaned closer to watch the monitors. Y/N had to bite on her lip to keep the grin away, as all of them analysed their movements and the scene, nodding along to what Olivia was saying.

      “Y/L/N, what do you think?” Olivia asked, grinning. 

      Y/N stepped forward a bit, seeing all of their shocked faces through her peripheral, as she pointed to the screen, lifting her head so that everyone could see her face fully. “I think it’s great, you might want to step to the side a bit more, Harry, when –” but she was unable to finish the sentence as he swooped her in his arms, lifting her basically off the ground, and burying his face in her neck.

      “Watch the hair! Daniele will have a fit if you ruin her masterpiece!” Y/N laughed, holding one of her hands on the base of his neck, the other tightly wrapped around his shoulders, but he just shook his head, and she could feel tears splash her skin.

      “Fuck the hair!” He let out a small chuckle, and she could hear the lump in his throat. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so scared.”

      “Same,” Y/N whispered. “Missed you like crazy. And your stupid, unfunny dad jokes.”

      “ ‘M hilarious, lovie, what are you talking about?”

      He finally set her down but didn’t let go of her waist, and she smiled cupping his cheeks. “A true comedian, that’s what you are.”

      “I know. Why’dya think I got that SNL slot?”

      But his eyes, as he gazed into hers once more glassed over.

      “Hey,” Y/N cooed wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, cause then I’ll cry, and we’re both gonna be crying messes, and then these guys will have to deal with that.”

      Harry sighed, leaning into her touch. “Happy tears, lovie. All happy tears.”

      The two looked at one another as if there was no one else in the universe. And for the two of them, there really wasn’t. Neither had to say what was on their minds, they already knew.

      His face was inching closer to Y/N’s, and heart started to beat erratically, not that Harry minded, as his palm rested in the middle of her back. In fact, his own heart mimicked the rhythm, but it stuttered when someone behind him cleared their throat and interrupted their moment.

      Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest as he sighed at Olivia’s raised eyebrow. 

      “You’ll be able to smooch as much as you want, but we need him in hair and make-up.”

      “Oli-“

      “Now,” she let out a small laugh. “Before Daniele removes my head from my shoulders.”

      “Go,” Y/N patted his side. “I’ll still be here.”

      “Is that a threat?”

      She grinned up at him. “A fucking promise.”

      Harry dashed away like lightning, hoping that the quicker he was done, the sooner he could have Y/N back in his arms even if it was for a second, but her attention was taken by a woman with long blond curls, a flowing green slip on her figure; her steps unsure as was the wave she gave her, but Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of her.

      “Hey, Flo,” she whispered and brought the girl in a bone-crushing hug, holding onto her, trying to convey how much she regretted her words and actions, especially because they were unwarranted.

      “I’m so sorry,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

      “Me too.”

      Y/N shook her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

      “And I should’ve made sure Harry pulled his head out of his ass.”

      That made both of them laugh, and it was nice to do it not only without having to cough up her insides, but to do it with someone she’d connected with and had become great friends with.

      “He did that. I just hope if he wants to make another move, it won’t take me dying to push him to.”

      Florence pointed at her, a serious look on her face. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he does.”

      A small noise of someone clearing their throat from behind Y/N took both of their attentions for them to go onto the actress who’d been cast as her replacement, the woman coming forward and extending her hand for a handshake with a nervous smile. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

      “ ‘S very nice to meet you.” Y/N tried to give off as open and accepting of a vibe as much as possible, because she genuinely wanted Mandy to feel respected and that she wasn’t a threat. “Before you think anything if you’re worried about me taking the role, don’t. It’s all yours, so don’t worry about that. I just stopped by ‘cause I hadn’t seen anyone in almost two months. Never thought I’d say this, but fuck did I missed people.”

      Mandy shook her head, her smile a lot lighter and brighter now. “I – uh thank you for that actually. I’m a huge fan of yours, and well, can only try and live up to what you would’ve portrayed.”

      “Well, I’m sure you’ll absolutely kill it, and I can’t wait for the movie.”

      It was great to see Mandy’s shoulders drop in relief. “Would it be too much if I asked for advice on the role?”

      “No,” Y/N laughed. “But I would say that you should make this role your own. It is yours. You are Larie now. And Harry’s Jack. Make it yours.”

      As she said that, she turned to watch Harry who was practically bouncing on his feet, green eyes flitting back to where she was standing, and when their gazes met, neither could help the smiles blooming on their faces.

       “You know he messed up a scene once and said your name?”    

      Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked over at Mandy. “What do you mean ‘said my name’?”

      “It was a kissing scene. The wedding bit, actually. As Jack and Larie recited their vows, and he leans down to kiss her, he was supposed to say, ‘I’ll love you Larie, until the very end’. He said your name instead.”

      That hit Y/N more than a semi-truck wheeling a ton of bricks would. Yes, she knew Harry liked her, and he knew she liked him, but love was a big word, and for him to admit that, whether it was a flub or not, was even bigger.

      Harry was a private person. While he openly talked about what he felt, he guarded heart at the same time, much like Y/N did. But she had to wait until Olivia yelled cut for the day, and had to watch him make a mad dash for hair and make-up before running to the dressing trailer as he didn’t want to miss out on a second he could spend with her. Even as they walked up to their shared flat and he opened the door, his fingers stayed intertwined with hers.

      “How does it feel to be back?”

      “Kinda shitty, honestly,” Y/N laughed throwing the keys to the table and shrugging out of the jacket and taking off the cap, Harry immediately helping her and putting it on one of the racks. “I’ll have to move out, now that I’m not part of the movie.”

      “Why? ‘S not like the production is paying our rent, we’re doing it out of our own pocket.”

      “Yes, but now that I don’t have a job, I kinda need to look for one.”

      “And what says that you can’t live here while you do that?”

      “I –,” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “I mean nothing, really… I just… kinda thought because I’m not part of the movie anymore it’d be safer if I found my own place. But um… I think I have something else I’d like to talk about. Mandy,” Y/N dragged out her name a bit, a sly smirk appearing on her face, “told me you had a flub on set.”

      Harry’s heart was pounding underneath her palm where she’d grabbed onto the lapels of his dress shirt, so he couldn’t run away. 

“I’ve uh,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve had a couple of flubs on set. Who hasn’t?”

      “I don’t doubt that. But she said you misspoke a name.”

      She made him look into her eyes and wouldn’t dare let their gaze break. “You said my name during the wedding scene. You said Y/N. Not Larie.”

      Harry looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a fish out of the water, eyes wide with his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out, which made Y/N worry a bit.

      She placed a palm against his cheek. “Harry? You alright?”

      “I – I meant it.” He let out a deep sigh and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “And when I thought back on it, I don’t remember seeing her face or Larie’s face. It was yours. And the lips I was kissing belonged to you too. I was holding your hand, and you were holding mine. And I know it’s way too quick, for a wedding -”

      “Unless you threaten me with it –”

      “I –,” Harry stuttered before laughing, all tension evaporating from his body. “No, that I don’t want to be a threat. That will be a question asked with love and hopefully an answer given to it the same way.”

      Y/N nudged his nose with hers. “Well, we’ll see. I mean if you don’t kiss me what makes you th–,” 

      But she didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence before his lips were on hers, pressing with such gentleness, it made her weak at the knees, and she would’ve crumbled if Harry’s arms handn’t woven around her middle, fingers pressing into the sides, the pressure increasing with each second their mouths were connected. 

      Harry’s hand drifted up Y/N’s back and settled on her neck as if he could pull her any closer, her own palms slipping over his stomach, pecks and grabbing onto his jaw, fingers lightly scratching at the stubble that’d grown throughout the day. He had to shave every morning for the role of Jack, but each evening she’d see a small, darkened shadow across his skin, and Y/N would be lying that when she’d realised her attraction to him, she hadn’t thought about how delicious it would feel to have it leave small burn marks on the inside of her thighs. 

      Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs, trying to create some sort of friction which became more and more unbearable as she felt Harry moan into her mouth, tongue sweeping against her lower lip, asking for permission without words, which Y/N granted without a second to spare. 

      It was heavenly to have him so close to her. She did wonder if the sensation was intensified by the fact, she hadn’t been able to touch anyone properly for almost two months, but that thought vanished when his fingers skimmed underneath her hoodie, brushing against her heated skin. No. It was because it was Harry.

       “I –,” he was breathless as he pulled away, but Y/N didn’t let him get too far, her lips attaching themselves to his neck, making him groan in pleasure. “I don’t want to push this too far.”

      Her brows scrunched up, as she took a look at him. “What do you mean? If you think I don’t want this, then let me be perfectly clear – I do. A lot.”

      Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking glad you do, but… Y/N you just got out of the hospital, where you were on a ventilator. I don’t want to make anything worse.”

      “Not your choice to make.” A devious smile appeared on her face, as she stepped a few feet away and lifted her hoodie over her head, making Harry inhale sharply. “So here are your two options.” Her hands went behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting it slowly drop to the floor, the green eyes that hadn’t left her now wide as saucers. “Number one.” She toed off her boots and popped open the button of her jeans. “We can stop this, obviously, just say the word, and I get to my room, start packing and looking for a new place. We can have some dinner and just chill. Or number two.” Y/N hooked her jeans behind her thumbs and slowly dragged them down her legs, revealing more and more of herself to Harry. “We can go inside your room and make up for the lost time. In every position imaginable, for as long as you want. But.” Y/N’s eyes glimmered with mischief as she made her way to Harry’s room. “I don’t think you wanna take the first option.”

      Harry ran a hand through his hair, turning it from the meticulously gelled hairstyle into a mop of messy strands. “You know you’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”

      Y/N swayed her hips a bit more as she took another step closer to his room, the door meeting her back, and one of her hands went to the doorknob, pressing down on it. “Well, a gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date, and definitely not like that.”

      He stood there, hands on his hips, eyes not leaving her body, as she cocked her head. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

      They were ten torturous seconds for both, hearts beating out of their chests, but it only took three steps for Harry to cross the hallway, his hand sneaking behind Y/N’s back and pressing down on the doorknob as well, revealing the inside of his room. It was messy, much like her own, but it wouldn’t take too much to rip all off the tossed around bedding leaving a whole bed to themselves. 

      “You. Are. The. Devil.”

      Her smile was nothing short of wicked. “I mean you can listen to the angel on your shoulder.”

      “I’d rather listen to you.”

      Together they stepped inside, and Y/N nodded. “Making good choices already.”

      “Can’t get on your bad side, can I now?”

      “I mean you can.” Her legs hit the back of his bed and she fell down on it, Harry leaning over, resting his elbows next to her head. “But bad boys get punished.”

      His nose skimmed over hers. Now he was the one smiling like a devil. “I’ll hold you to your word. For future reference, that is.”

      That kiss was nothing like their first. This was messy, and passionate, all tongue and teeth, hands grabbing everywhere possible to get the other unclothed. Or at least that’s what Y/N was trying to do, seeing as she was pretty much naked already, and Harry was the one still wearing too much.

      Her hands pretty much ripped open the shirt. It one of his expensive Gucci ones, she was quite certain of it, but it didn’t seem like he cared, as he shrugged it off, throwing it to land somewhere on the floor.

      Y/N sighed into his mouth as her hands were now freely allowed to run over his chest, over the ink embedded into his skin, over taut muscles that relaxed under her touch, and dig into his sides in an attempt to leave her own marks on him, much like he was going to do to her. 

      “Think you can take your pants off? It’s only fair.” Y/N muttered into his mouth and his own travelled down to her cheek, then neck and to her chest.

      “You mean my trousers?”

      Her lips quirked up and she shrugged her shoulders. “No, in this case, I meant pants the British way.”

      “And if I’m going commando?”

      Y/N pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away from her. “You had nothing underneath all day on set?”

      “No! I wouldn’t subject the dressing department to that. But underneath this.” He looked down at his jeans and smiled at her. “I do have nothing.”

      “Well then? Get on with it!”

      Both of them were giggling, as Y/N tried to unbuckle Harry’s belt, his own fingers mixing with hers as he went for the zipper and the button. He nudged his head towards her. “Your socks and pants come off as well. Or we’ll be unevenly matched.”

      Y/N lifted her eyebrow, as she went for her own remaining pieces of clothing. “No socks during sex?”

      “No, what kind of a weirdo do you think I am?”

      “And if my feet get cold?” She threw them away somewhere.

      “We have a blanket.”

      As Harry removed his jeans and his own socks, Y/N slipped off the dampened piece of clothing that’d been on her, now both of them completely naked. 

      “Alright.” He leaned over her again, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling them chest to chest. “Happy now?”

      Y/N deeply kissed him. “Very. But I think we can make each other even happier.”

      “Agreed,” Harry hummed. “Wanna get a taste first.” He attached his lips to her collarbones sucking a bruise there. “Can I?”

      She groaned at the feeling, knowing there be a pleasant ache that accompanied mark. “You can. Don’t have to, if you don’t want. No need to do this for me.”

      “And if it’s for me?” Harry was moving lower and lower with each word, wet tongue flicking against a perked bud, and making Y/N gasp. “What if I wanna feel you cum on my tongue, and what if I wanna do something I’ve dreamed about for months now?”

      His hands were kneading her breasts, mouth having left a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach as it was moving towards where an ache that’d been left untreated made itself more and more prominent. 

“Then please, please, please do something, Harry.”

      “With pleasure.”

      Luckily for Y/N, she didn’t have to beg any more, as his mouth attached itself to where she wanted him most, tongue sweeping past her lower lips and licking up a broad, steady stripe.

      One of her hands went to fist into her hair and the other into Harry’s. “Shit,” she moaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”

      “Guide me.” He licked a circle around her clit. “Tell me how you like it.”

      “Mhgm, fuck, okay,” Y/N breathed out. “I – I mean you’re doing great on your own.” Her chest was heaving as if she was running a marathon, and Harry shifted her legs so that they lay over his shoulders. “But umm, like if you lick around my clit, but like really press down li – oh, fuuuuck, just like that.”

      The coil in her stomach tightened with each pass he did, just like Y/N had instructed, small tight circles just how she did with her fingers, only what took her sometimes half an hour, Harry managed to do in less than ten minutes, to have her toes curling and hands grasping anywhere they could find purchase to just keep onto something real.

      The vibrations from Harry humming sent shivers straight to her core. “What else, lovie? What else, do you like?”

      “If – if –,” Y/N panted, “if you suck on it, but like – fuck – shit! If you kinda keep a seal around my clit, that fuck! Yes!”

      The way Harry was eating her out was almost sensational, but what made it even better wasn’t that he just decided to do something and assumed, she’d like it, he asked, he wanted to learn and discover what made her tick and turn, or in this case – cum. 

      “Harry, ‘m close,” Y/N warned him, feeling the warmth slowly start to spread all throughout her body. 

      “I’ll get you there.”

      He let his lips go for a moment before slipping two of his fingers so that they pinched her clit and moved them slowly but tightly up and down it, while his tongue went to slip inside her hole, and that did it for her.

      With a gasp of air, Y/N’s eyes rolled to be back of her head, hips lifting up as euphoria exploded through her veins. Her mind went completely dizzy, and she was quite sure some drool also dribbled down the side of her mouth because she’d lost all ability to function.

      “ -o me, love,” Y/N heard as if through a fog, and then felt two soothing palms running up and down her legs. “Come back, love. There you go.”

      A drunken smile bloomed on her face, and she ran a hand down it, the same hand that’d grabbed Harry’s hair like a vice. “Fuck. You’re good, you know what you’re doing.”

      “Well, I’m certainly glad you enjoyed yourself because I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

      She watched as he straightened out to sit on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, cock slapping against his stomach, and when she looked down there was a wet patch on his side of the sheets, a sly grin morphing on her face. “You liked eating me out so much you came yourself?”

      “What can I say – bringing pleasure, gives me pleasure. And your cunt’s probably the sweetest I’ve ever eaten. But… do you think you’re ready for me?” Harry asked, kissing the inside of Y/N’s thighs and watching as she vigorously nodded her head, but he just smirked. “I think I need to test it out. Just to make sure.”

       “Harry,” Y/N whined as she felt his fingers skim the apex of her thighs, teasing her. 

      “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

      With that, he used one of his hands to open up her lips, his thumb pressing down on her already sensitive clit, eliciting a gasp before he allowed two fingers to skim her entrance and then slipped in.

      “Still so tight,” he said, watching as Y/N sighed and her mouth fell open, his fingers curling in a come-hither motion. “Told you needed to check if you were ready. What kind of a gentleman would I be now, if I didn’t make sure you could take it?”

      Y/N gritted her teeth. “I can take you.”

      “Don’t doubt it.” Harry left kisses along her leg, as he continued on with his movements, noting how her hips slowly started to grind down on his palm, so he pushed his fingers in deeper so that the heel of his hand could rest against her clit, making the pleasure intensify. “But I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you when all I wanna do is give you pleasure. And you weren’t stretched out enough. Not yet at least.”

      “Oh, god, Harry,” Y/N groaned, one arm thrown over her eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot.

      “That’s it? Right there?”

      “Yes, right there,” she moaned. “Just. Fuck! Just don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

      “Gonna cum again?”

      “Yes, just – just curl your fingers and twist them a bit more.”

      And much like the first time, a couple more times was all it took. Her orgasm was even more powerful than the previous and fully knocked her breath out of her lungs. Her legs fell open around his shoulders, stomach and chest spasming from the intensity. 

      Gentle fingers skimmed up and down Y/N’s arms and featherlight kisses fluttered over her breasts, then chest, neck and finally were peppered across her cheeks.

      “Kinda spaced out on me there. You alright? Not too much?”

      “ ’M – I’m good. But I’m pretty sure you’ve killed me.”

      Harry chuckled, and Y/N leaned her head to the side so she could press a kiss against the closest of the swallow tattoos. “Hopefully not. I still wanna take you out on that date.”

      Her eyes landed on Harry’s left hand’s ring finger, where a golden band still laid. 

      “Oh, yeah.” He lifted the digits, still covered in her cum before pushing them past his lips and licking them clean. “Forgot to remove it. Hope the prop guys don’t kill me.”

      She hated how his eyes sparkled, absolutely knowing what that sight did to her, how it made her stomach flutter and heart thunder against her ribs. Y/N was sure with the force it was pounding, they’d crack. 

      “Well, if they don’t, I will.” She pulled him down, nails raking on his skin, dragging to rest on his ass as they bit into it. “Now get inside me.”

      “Condom.”

      “No, ‘m on the pill.”

      “I’m clean, I swear, but it’s still not a hundred per cent safe.”

      Y/N shook her head. “I’ll buy the morning-after pill. Just need you inside.”

      “You sure?” Harry placed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

      “Yeah. I mean I’m clean, and uh… I just wanna feel you.”

      He’d cum once already, and Harry would be dammed if he did it again before having the chance to know how heaven feels like. As gently as possible, he took himself, giving a few strokes before nudging the tip against Y/N’s clit, her sharp inhale stalling him until she nodded. 

      Her nails dug into his biceps, as he finally slipped inside her, making both of them moan at the feeling. Even with all of the stretching out he’d done with his fingers, and the two orgasms he’d drawn from her, the slickness helping everything to be easy and smooth, Y/N still felt a little sting.

      Harry’s head dropped to Y/N’s shoulders and even from under him, she could feel his thighs and stomach shaking, as he tried to hold his composure and give her a little bit of time to adjust.

      A couple of deep breaths later, she tapped his ribs. “You can move now.”

      “ ‘ya sure?”

      “Mhm,” Y/N nodded her head and pecked his lips reassuringly. “Please.”

      His dishevelled and sweaty hair shook as he nodded and slowly drew back his hips so that just the tip of his cock remained in her before gliding back inside. The sight alone was more than enough to make both of them explode, but they wanted to last longer than thirty seconds, especially for their first time together. There’d be quickies for later, now they wanted to have a proper shag.

      Bit by bit, Harry’s pace quickened, pearls of sweat gliding down his skin and dampening the sheets below them, much like it was with Y/N. Her leg slid up to rest around his hips, giving him a better angle and more leverage for him to strike the right spot, as he pushed her knee to rest against her chest, Y/N’s head falling back to the pillow.

      Her insides were shaking from the pleasure, and it was like an invisible force was pushing down on her chest, as she struggled for a proper breath. “Harry,” she dragged out his name, the word turning into a high-pitched whine.

      “I know,” he responded in the same breathless voice. He could feel her tighten around him and wasn’t sure just how much longer he’d be able to keep up the pace. “Touch yourself ‘f me, lovie. C’mon, use those fingers.”

      Y/N did as she was told. It didn’t give her that butterfly feeling like it’d happened when they’d been Harry’s, but it did make her cum faster, and the sensation of her gushing around his cock made him lose all self-control and he spilled inside.

      It wasn’t enough for Y/N, but she guessed she needed to settle for it. She knew that nothing really ever touched in the universe, that the closest atoms ever come to touching one another is when their wave packets overlap, much like she and Harry were now overlapping, his body lying on top of hers, skin sweaty and frame trembling as he came down from his own high.

      “I uh,” Y/N cleared her throat, finger tracing the outline of one of the butterfly in the middle of Harry’s chest. “When the people came to get my stuff, I umm, asked them to take your rainbow cardigan. Wanted something that smelled like you, so I didn’t feel so alone. Was the first thing I put on when I got out of my hospital gown.”

      She felt his body rumble with laughter and a kiss being pressed to her forehead. “I know. Saw Anna stash it inside the suitcase. I uh, I was the one who also put in one of my sweaters. Know how cold you always get.”

      She hid her smile against his collarbones. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

      “ 'M always thinking of you… Will you knit me one though?”

      Y/N raised her eyebrow. “Knit you one?”

      “Yes. I know you knit –��

      “Everyone knits nowadays.”

      Harry drew himself back a bit, and she pushed away the matted down strands from his forehead, wiping away the sweat from underneath his green eyes as well. “Yes, but the point is – there’ll be a million other Gucci shirts and sweaters and cardigans. But I’d like to have one-of-a-kind made by you. So, I have something to sleep next to when you’re not next to me.”

      Y/N ran a finger along his jawline, biting away her grin. “It’ll probably have mistakes. I’m not that good at it. ‘M not a professional.”

      “Exactly.” Harry tilted her head up with a finger and their eyes met. “Which is why it’ll be perfect.”

      “The arms will most likely be different lengths in the end.”

      “Don’t worry, darling.” He pecked her lips before hugging her and not letting go. “It’s flawless for me.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

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A/N: My tags are always open :)

P.S. please don’t repost my work without specific written permission onto other platforms :)

[twvstedsouls]

S6.04 - MY THOUGHTS

this is just first thoughts, after first viewing.

just the look tommy gave arthur when arthur said he couldn’t do it.

the creaking in the background during the funeral speech of tommy’s.

…again peaceful, good, down the river. similar promise as he did after grace died.

tommy’s way of coping with loss, he can’t just sit still and wallow in it, he has to go, has to do something it (though it clearly doesn’t work).

look like i was wrong about the forest scene, the man he shot isn’t johnny dogs, just a member of the boswell family (but there’s still that picture of the bar fight)

not a fan of the music this episode, doesn’t fit very well, sort of brings you out of it (but i don’t know, maybe it’s intentional?)

holy shit!!!!!! the duke shelby is not john’s kid but tommy’s!

lolololol esme after that asking for more gold. though could she stop him from taking duke with him if he wanted to?

tommy talking about just casually stepping onto ‘another boat’ as if he can go on/move on just like that. while technically he’s shown that he can, it’s not that simple.

love the brother bonding. the typical conversation between brothers they never really have.

tommy’s drinking again. ruby one loss too many.

‘because you let me win. you wanted me to win. you wanted me to win ever since.’

jdhfgdjgjfgjdn obsessed with this. sort of gives more depth to the question that’s always sort of floating around, not having a full, complete or completely satisfied answer: why is tommy in charge and not arthur as the eldest? (not just skills, competency, not wanting to on arthur’s part)

‘just a few more yards left to go.’

tommy how are you going to change the world when you’ve started drinking again?

charles saying ‘she holds onto me.’ though it indicates he’s referring to lizzie, what if he’s referring to ruby?

saying that you’re ok, doesn’t make it so.

captain swing probably like: what the fuck am doing here? while also she seems the only one genuine in her condolences/about mourning/grief.

loved the parallels/edit of ada, arthur and lizzie.

wouldn’t it be something if that was ruby’s favourite horse?

all this camera panning at the table meeting scene, unnerving scene and different tone to the rest.

karl still thinking and talking the same. not surprised. ada’s comeback, amazing. karl trying to belong but not really belonging anywhere (different upbringing/schooling than his parents, yet not the same as his fellow students).

ruby’s chair.

same typewriter that he bought lizzie fdkgkdgkgn

maybe tommy’s sick? or charles? or maybe lizzie?

RUBY’S CHAIR.

not yet. change how?

was that michael? WAIT, was that mosley?

gina possibly going to spy for tommy, interesting.

the whole ‘I will know.’

this is more like season 5 gina.

the fly and tommy staring at it. something about death/close to death/it clinging to him (lingering death of ruby’s and possibly the impeding/impending of his own).

dkjghkdghkdjgnkdfn ANEURNIN BARNARD.

wait…what?

his personal doctor. who we’ve probably never seen because when does tommy ever go to the doctor? (unless he has no choice)

so he got the TB bacteria from ruby.

explanation for seizures/hallucinations, etc. YES.

the enemy he can’t defeat isn’t a person.

‘my accountant was just leaving’ - so as usual, hiding what’s wrong with him from the people he loves.

‘not a devil, just an ordinary mortal man.’ so he’d given up on becoming god, then tried to be the devil, but now realises he is what he is, and can’t change that.

love polly’s prediction again at the end. as well as grace’s breath (so far it just seemed not fitting very well, but this time it hits different/good)

about the grace breath thing: goes all back to that interview/article on the official peaky blinders website (i think?) about grace in season 5 now associated with the black horse, not the white, no longer good but evil, an evil spirit/ghost.

and this breath sort of feels/visualizes as grace digging her claws deeper/tightening her hold to finally rip him away.

edit:

realized I misunderstood the ‘stepping onto another boat’ thing. the members of the boswell family he killed are in the boat he’s stepping off of, so does he mean by this and ‘good’ that he’ll no longer kill? or is promising not to die or kill himself?

[dreadpoetssociety]

Fevers Don’t Exist

TW: Fever ? (I’m not sure what counts for triggers so pls lmk if I miss anything)

Prompt: hi!! could u do one maybe where like, the reader is an actress on supernatural and she plays like their younger sister on the show or something and she gets sick at a con or something? Thanks !!

NOTE: Hey guys, I’m alive!!!! I know I have a lot of Spencer prompts atm, but it’s really hard to write them when I’m not like, hyper focused on Criminal Minds. I am going to try though! So sorry I’ve left so many of you in the wind, I am a very inconsistent person, my bad. But here’s this! It’s REALLY bad because I’m terrible at being realistic but like idk it’s something.

I really don’t even know what to put for tags on this. 

()()()()()() 

Ah, September. You knew what came along every September, and looked forward to it for the first eight months of every year. Secaucus, New Jersey. You loved every con you went to, truly. Everyone was so nice, you love staying in hotels, panels are such a great time, the whole thing. It's a great experience outside of the set to get connected with fans. And, they loved you almost as much as you loved them. You were typically closer in age, since you were still just a teenager. You also started out as a fan of the show before somehow snatching a role, so you really were with them at one point. Everything that excites them excited you just as much. And, you loved making friends with them. You weren't allowed to be reckless with your phone number, so you made a snapchat that you shared exclusively with con goers, whom you made swear to secrecy. It was like a club, and you just enjoyed genuinely talking to everyone. But, when you woke up that first morning, you knew it was going to be a long day. Your body ached, and you were still pretty exhausted. You had a fever, but didn't really know if it was a fever because you were still young, and God forbid you ever decided to recognize the signs of you being sick. It was almost like a form of denial, not knowing. You were sweating, but freezing, and your throat felt particularly dry. Your headache rested underneath your eyes for the most part, to which you just blamed on being tired. Your stomach didn't hurt, but you definitely weren't hungry. Even though you hadn't felt exactly 100% the past days before, and you obviously weren't feeling right now, you just deduced that it was all because you were tired, and had a late flight in. As a responsible person does, of course. You didn't even bother taking any medicine for it, because hey, you obviously weren't sick, you'd feel better in a bit, and you didn't have any, so why waste the time, right? 

You groggily got dressed and met up with "the boys" (even though they were all older than you) for the free breakfast downstairs, in a separate room, since fans did happen to stay in the same hotel. You grabbed some Cheerios, only to conspicuously throw them away after. 

"You good, Y/N?" Jared asked out loud, gaining the attention of Jensen, Misha, and Alex. You could feel their eyes burning through your skin. Or, maybe that was the fever. It had to be their eyes, you convinced yourself, you didn't have a fever. You were fine. 

"Yeah, why?" you asked, faking the perk in your voice and confused eyes. Your eyes felt really heavy, you noticed. 

"You just... You look exhausted. And pale." he said, "And you threw away that cereal without eating any of it." 

You looked down at yourself as an effect for what you were about to say, "Wow, well that's one way to make me self-conscious. I thought I looked kind of poppin'." you laughed slightly, trying to play it off. 

"W-wait, no that's- that's not what I meant! You look fine, I just-" he was embarrassed. You and the others chuckled.

"I'm kidding. I'm all good, just went to bed late, y'know?" you smiled. It was hard to try and mask the rasp in your voice, and doing so made you feel the need to cough, so you downed some water until it dialed down a bit. He nodded. In your mind, you blessed your acting skills, thinking you got away with it. What you didn't know was that Misha, Jensen, and Jared, as fathers do, knew every trick in the book, and each noted to keep an eye on you. Not to mention, they'd been acting far longer than you had, and could just tell when one switches into a character. They all figured that if you weren't sick now, you would be in days to come, and exchanged glances with each other, while Alex innocently continued to chew on his toast. 

"Well, if you're tired, I don't think you have a panel or anything for another hour or something, maybe you could catch up on some sleep then." Jared suggested. You shrugged.

"Nah," you said, "I've got photo-ops in like, twenty minutes. I should actually probably get going. I'll catch up later!" 

You left with a wave, and disappeared into the hotel somewhere. You stopped in your room, allowing yourself finally to set free the coughs living in the back of your throat. You blamed it on your throat being dry since you didn't drink enough water. Not on germs. So, you grabbed two water bottles from the small fridge in your room, and left, making your way towards the convention center.

  You felt slightly better during photo-ops, which just confirmed in your mind that it was impossible that you were sick right now. You smiled and talked to everyone. There was one girl, who introduced herself as Meredith, who stuck out in your mind. She gave you this super cool hand painted keychain, which you very excitedly put on your keys instantly.

"Dude, I've been looking for a cool keychain. Not just one of those janky ones you find at like 7-11, like a cool one. This is so exciting." you smiled genuinely. You had just recently bought yourself a car, and thought that your keys looked a little lonely, and searched for hours on Etsy for something to spice it up a bit. A weird obsession, thinking about it now.

She laughed, "I'm glad you like it!"

"Hell, yeah! Now, are there any poses you wanna do? Or do you just want to hit that casual look? I could make it look like I'm meeting you." you stupidly rambled. One of your traits that was so widely known was how funny and awkward (in a good way) that you were. It took you a long time to get to that point, though, because you were always anxious about meeting others. You still are every now and then, but it's different here. 

"I was just hoping to get a hug." she said, "If that's okay with you." 

"Yeah, that's cool!" you wrapped your arms around each other and shot the camera a grin. The girl looked a bit confused. 

"Hey," she said, quietly, "are you like, okay? You feel really hot."

Nervously, you replied, "Oh, no, yeah totally fine. I'm just wearing two layers, and it's getting spicy in here."

"Yeah," she answered, "don't push yourself, okay?"

"I won't, thank you. It was really nice meeting you!" 

"You, too! Thanks!" she waved goodbye and you moved on to the last few people in line. She was right, though. You realized that you felt worse than you did when you walked in. You thought it had gone away for a while, but now it was just amplified. You noticed you were cold again, but that you were sweating as well. It must've just been the temperature in the room. These conventions aren't always able to keep a steady temp in the entire building, right?

This day, you didn't have much to do. Most of your events were on the other days to come. You had one panel in a few hours, and then a panel with Jared, Jensen, and Misha a few hours after that, and then bam, the day was over. You just had to get through those two events. Just two. 

Two, events. And both were an hour. So, two hours out of the day. Rookie work. Yet, as your panel approached, the headache had expanded from under your eyes to anywhere that there was space to hurt, your throat ached and so did your lungs from how much you were going off somewhere to cough in privacy, your body felt heavy, you couldn't tell if you were hot or cold at this point it was some weird combination of both, your stomach hurt just slightly, the world was moving around you a bit more than it usually would, and the fever you "didn't" have had climbed a degree, probably two. And, at some point during the day, you got pretty congested. You felt like you could just fall asleep at any moment. Jared and Jensen happened to be walking by where you had been waiting by yourself, away from any congoers or employees, and noticed that even though you were leaning against a wall, you somehow were still swaying.

"Y/N?" Jensen called out, worried. You heard him, you knew you were supposed to respond, but didn't know how. Maybe you did have a fever, and maybe you sort of let it out of control. It was like you were comprehending them, but not at the same time. You heard everything, but it just swept right through your feverish mind. The walked in front of you and examined you within seconds. You felt Jared's cold, really abnormally large man hand sweep your hair back and land on your forehead. 

"J, she's burning up." you felt another hand on your face. You, quite exhaustedly, swatted it away. They couldn't figure out how it'd gotten so bad so quickly. You were sick this morning, but not to this degree. They knew then that you had just shrugged it off all day, and your teenage fever brain probably didn't even think to take any kind of medicine or anything for it, even if you were trying to hide it.

"I'm good. Just tired. Fevers don’t exist." you finally mumbled, taking a few deep breathes, which you hadn't really been able to do in a bit without being rudely interrupted by a bone-shaking cough. It felt nice, almost. The boys sighed at you and shook their heads. 

"Y/N, you should go back to your room and get some rest. We can bring you some stuff that'll help." Jared suggested. You shook your head and opened your eyes, which somehow felt even heavier.

"Nah," you said to them, "I've got a panel, I think, in like, I ‘dunno, some minutes or something. Something I-" you pushed yourself off the wall to try and make your way somewhere, but stumbled a step or two, which result in Jensen and Jared instinctively to grab you in order to keep you steady.

"Like hell we're letting you go to that, Y/N, you can't even form a sentence, or stand for that matter. You're out of your mind. We're going to bring you back now, we'll take care of your panel thing." Jensen stated pretty sternly. You were about to fight back, and they could see it, but you coughed a few times, and they could almost feel it in their own chests. You just nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, maybe I could just like, sleep, for an hour or two." you whispered, tiredly. The two were still holding you steady, and could see you already falling asleep before even going anywhere. 

"Or six, by the looks of it." Jared joked lightly.

"Poor kid." Jensen said to Jared as the were walking out of your room. They helped you get there, and you were gone before you even saw the bed, "Why do they always have to pretend like they aren't sick? Look where it gets them."

"Don't know, man. You can't talk, though. You literally tell people you are immune to illness." Jared laughed quietly, shutting you door.

"Well I am. I am the perfect example of health. I don't get sick." 

"Yeah," Jared rolled his eyes, "Right. Watch you catch what Y/N has. You practically carried her all the way here. There's no way you're escaping it." Walking towards the center, the back way of course, Jensen scoffed, "Please, germs take one look at me and know not to mess this up. And, by the logic, that means you're already infected, too. So, tell me, princess, what sort of soup do you want spoon-fed?" 

Again, Jared rolled his eyes, and the two laughed. They weren't making fun of you, they were making fun of each other, and knew that you would've wanted in on that action.

"Y/N probably would've destroyed us if she heard that. Something along the longs of 'You want me to tuck you in? Carry you bridal style?'" Jared pitched his voice a tone higher for it. Again, the two men laughed.

They made their way backstage of what's supposed yo be your panel, and informed the crew about what was going on. They were just going to fill in for you, probably tell a few embarrassing stories.

When they made their way through the curtain, the crowd shouted. They were obviously excited to see the two leads, but also were obviously confused. "Alright, you're probably confused." Jensen stated the obvious, "Because obviously, we look nothing like Y/N, and thank God she does not look like us." The crowd laughed.

"Anyway, Y/N can't make it today. She's really sick-" the crowd cut Jared off with a unison "awe." People yelled out that they hoped she felt better, tell her to take care of herself, and so on.

"Yeah, poor kid looked like she was just going to fall asleep right where she was standing. She literally tried to come anyway, like, kid, you're making no sense. Y/N couldn't really fight against us, though, so she's sleeping now." Jensen explained, "So we came here to chat in her stead, but just know she really was planning on coming. That kid loves you guys." and again, the "awe" rolled through the crowd. 

"If she wasn't sick, she could totally kick both your-" the last word was cut off, but was implied anyway, someone screamed from the crowd, which resulted in laughter.

"Yeah, probably. Even if we were stronger than her," sarcastically, of course, "she'd still beat us. Kid's too fast, and I'm too old." Jared laughed.

In the last ten minutes of the panel, Jared decided to give you call. Not only to check in on you, but so you could at least say hi to your crowd. When you heard the phone ring, you groggily opened your eyes and aimlessly reached for it.

"Hello?" you answered. Jared almost frowned at how sick you sounded, even with just one word.

"Y/N?" Jensen stepped in, "It's Jensen."

"Unfortunate." you sighed exhaustedly. It was joke, a really tired one, but still enough to make the crowd laugh.

"We're here at your panel, we thought you might want to say hi." Jared said loudly, holding the speaker of his phone to the microphone. 

"Panel?" you asked. Panel? What panel? Your delirious mind was clearly confused, "Who's that?" 

"Y/N, the con. The convention panel?" Jensen actually sounded worried. They probably should've thought to give you some sort of medicine to do something about the fever you had before they'd left.

"Oh," you closed your eyes again, almost falling asleep, before remembering finally what it was they meant, and after a moment, "Oh! Crap, the panel thing, I'm late."

"No, Y/N, stay there, we've got it covered remember? You can't come. You can say hi to them, though." Jensen interjected quickly.

"Okay, hi guys." you just followed as told.

The crowd responded with a series of hello's. 

"'M really sorry. I hope they aren't boring you." the two men could practically hear you closing your eyes. The crowd responded in inaudible chatter. Jensen and Jared walked from the mic for a second.

"Sorry if we woke you, kid." Jared apologized, having just realized they probably could've left you alone, "W also just wanted to check in. See how you're doing."

"How are you feeling?" Jensen asked, but got a mumbled word in response, "Alright, well, just go back to sleep, we'll be up there soon." 

Jared hung up the phone, and the two began to answer the last few questions and close up. They waved their goodbyes to the crowd, and started heading back your way.

"Jensen, you got any over the counters with you? Thermometers or anything? All I've got is Advil, and I don't even know what's really bothering her yet other than that cough and being tired."

"Yup. Danneel always makes me carry literally an entire medicine cabinet, just for these moments. I'll go get 'em and meet you there. It'd probably do her some good to eat something, too. I don't know if she's got like, a stomach virus thing going on, though." Jensen answered.

"I'll see what she'll say and let you know." 

The two parted ways, and Jared made his way to you. Even though he'd only talked to you just a few minutes before, you were dead to the world by the time he opened the door. The room was boiling, and Jared looked over to the thermostat to see that you'd at some point put it on to 90 degrees. 

"Jesus, Y/N, I know you've got a fever, but damn." he said, more so to himself than to you. He looked over at you after turning it down to see you curled beneath what looked like any blanket you could find. He came over and started removing the blankets slowly, and shook you gently to wake you up.

"Y/N, wake up for a minute, it's Jared."

"'Mm." was all you said, until you realized your layers of warmth had been moved, "What're doing? It's cold."

"Y/N, you're dripping in sweat. It's the fever making you cold."

"I don't have a fever." you retorted, "I'm good. Just tired."

"Kid, you've been tired the whole day. You've been sleeping this whole time." he tried rationalizing.

"I have?" you questioned, closing you eyes again. Jared put his hand to your forehead again. Somehow, it was warmer than the first time he'd done it before the panel. It was then that Jensen finally appeared, a whole bag of things in hand, "Could you bring the thermometer over?"

"Yeah, gotcha." He walked over and rummaged through the bag at the same time, pulling out a thermometer.

"Y/N, we need to take your temperature." Jensen said.

"No need." you said, "'M not sick."

"You are so obviously sick, I'm not asking." again with that stern voice. Jared gave him a "Hey, she's sick, back off a little" sort of look, but it had worked, and you let them take your temp. They were almost shocked when the thing beeped at 103.

"Should we take her to a hospital? That's way too high." Jared asked. 

"If it gets any higher, yes, but let's see if we can bring it down first." Jensen replied.

"No hospitals." you demanded, opening your eyes and glaring at them. 

"We aren't bringing you yet, Y/N, but I need you to eat this so you can take some meds." he held out two pieces of toast that he must've brought from his room. You hated toast even when you weren't sick.

"I'm not really hungry." 

"I know, but it'll help. You haven't told us what's bothering you yet, either." Jared responded.

"Nothing's-" you coughed a few times, a bit violently, "bothering me." "We can see that." Jensen said sarcastically.

"Everything's bothering me." you whispered, giving up.

"Your stomach hurt?" Jensen asked. You waved your hand from side to side to signal a so-so, "Think you'll get sick at all?"

"No, it's not like that, I don't think." you breathed out, another cough escaping you. You took a few bites out of the toast. It made you uncomfortable, but it was then that you realized you probably felt that way since you really hadn't eaten much that day or the one before, which probably contributed to the splitting headache. It didn't go away after, either though. You pushed yourself up. You almost fell over, but Jared put a hand out for you.

"Alright, good. Take this. I'm going to be frank, it tastes disgusting." Jensen handed over a small cup of liquid, "Sometimes, if you take it like a shot, it helps. But you shouldn't know how to take shots, but if you do it, I won't judge." And so you did, causing the two to chuckle slightly at you. 

"You were right, about the sleep thing." you slumped back onto the bed heavily, like a brick.

"When am I ever wrong?" Jensen asked, "Don't answer that, actually."

But you were already sleeping again, and the boys decided to stay nearby for now. The next panel wasn't for another few hours anyway, and they just didn't want you to be alone. Also, incase you were wrong about the toast, and it decided to make its return. Jared's phone began to ring loudly, to which he very quickly tried to answer so his obnoxious ringtone wouldn't wake you up again, not that you wouldn't have just fallen back asleep anyway.

"Misha? Hey, what's up?" Jared answered. Jensen walked over to hear what was going on on the other side of the line, but Jared just decided to put it on speaker.

"Where are you guys? I haven't seen you all day. Felicia, Alex, and I are going out for lunch, we were wondering if you guys want to come. I tried calling Y/N, but she didn't answer, so." he rambled.

"That's because Y/N's not feeling well." Jensen said, giving him a solution to his predicament of not being answered, "We're with her right now, so we'll have to pass."

"She's sick? Is she okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She's just got this crazy fever we've been trying to bring down. Thinking about it now, Jensen, we should probably check it again." 

"A fever?"

"It's been at 103 degrees for like, two hours. At least for what we know of. She's probably had one all day, but as a dumb teenager does, she just tried to ignore it." 

"If it goes up you should-"

"Yeah, we know," Jared said, "we're trying really hard to avoid that, though. Also, she'll definitely fight against it, I don't know." 

Jensen, from the other side of the room at the sound of a beeping thermometer, could be heard on Misha's end, "It went down, finally. 102.2."

"Thank God, I was getting worried."

"Should I come there? Do you guys need any help?" Misha asked.

"I mean you can, but I think we're good. She's just been trying to sleep it off the whole time, so not much is really going on." Jensen was closer to the phone now, "Like, she's got this cough, a headache, and you can hear how congested she sounds, but mostly I think she's just exhausted. I honestly don't know how because she's just been sleeping for hours."

"Fatigue."

"Yeah, poor kid. I don't think I've ever seen her so tired, it almost makes me tired to be honest." Jensen joked.

"Maybe you're just getting sick." Jared slipped in.

"Not possible. I am immune."

"Nobody is immune, Jensen." Misha sighed.

"I'm not nobody." he shrugged. 

"Alright, well, we're going to get lunch then. If you need anything let me know, and tell her I hope she feels better." Misha concludes.

"We will, thanks Misha." and with that, Jared hung up. For a few more hours, the two hung around. They were there when you woke from some fever dreams, and when you needed a cough drop, or twelve, and wake you up every now and then to check your temperature, which raised and dropped and raised and dropped, but currently was at a very steady 102.4. But, soon enough, it was time for them to leave for the last panel of the day, and unsurprisingly, you tried to follow suit.

"Y/N, we gotta go, but we'll be back in about an hour from the panel." Jared said. You took a deep breath and sluggishly pushed yourself to the side of the bed. Having been sick, and not having sat up in a few hours, the blood rushed from your head, leaving you dizzy.

"What're you doing?" Jensen asked.

"The panel. I missed the last one I should go to this one. I feel okay." you yawned, then coughed slightly.

"Y/N, really, you shouldn't even think about pushing it like that." Jared said. Jensen walked over to you, half on the bed, clearly trying to steady yourself just from the movement of sitting up. The spinning room honestly almost made the toast make a reprise, and you hiccupped, and held your breath.

"Hey," Jensen grabbed a can quickly, noticing, "are you going to be sick?"

Giving it a minute, it went away, and you shook you head no, causing a huge tension to leave the room.

"Alright, well, remember how you said I was right all the time earlier?" Jensen pun the can down.

"No, must've been the fever." you half joked, causing Jared to laugh. 

"Alright- well- okay, shut up. We agreed I'm always right, and that I was right about needing sleep, so I say you need some more." Jensen demanded rather than suggested. 

"Yeah, or at least lay around and do nothing. I can't imagine ever sleeping as much as you just did." Jared joked, pushing you very gently back down, with his hand on your back, knowing you would just hit the bed without it. Your eyes were heavy again, and your throat was painfully dry, and you coughed. Your aching head also agreed with the two of them to your dismay.

"Maybe just a bit more." you mumbled, "A few minutes."

"Yeah a few minutes, sure." Jared smiled, knowing you were probably going to knock out for a few hours once again. You opened your eyes again.

"You think," you coughed, "that they'll be mad?

"Who?" Jensen asked.

Feeling pretty sick, you said, "That I don't go? I don’t feel really good."

Ah, the fever comes to play once again, it seems, but the two felt some sort of triumph now that you've at least admitted to being sick, even if it's been hours. It concerned them, though, if you felt bad enough to admit it.

"No, they'll be fine about it. We'll be back soon. Misha or Alex might come in to check on you, alright?" Jared answered, to which you nodded.

They weren't gone long. You spent half the next day sleeping, too, until you could stand without swaying. You did sneak back to the con, against Jensen and Jared's orders, since you really didn't break that fever and cough for a few more days, only to be caught after a tweet of you at the con was trending and the cast caught wind of it. But, eventually, you were better, and got the chance to help Jared take care of an "always immune" Jensen. And he was more stubborn than you were.

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part eighty eight/

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: Enjoy! Things will get better soon

Warnings: language, angst

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*Flashback*

*Moscow 1989*

"It's fucking bullshit!" Nikki shouts as he and the rest of the band come barreling through the dressing room door, "He's seriously going to let Bon fucking Jovi headline? Seriously? We deserve more than that!"

I glance up from filing my nails as each and everyone of them, besides Mick, looks pissed.

"Who the hell does Doc think he is? We're more of a selling act than he is! We didn't fly all the way out here just so we can be out at the bottom of the lineup. It's a complete waste of our time. We could be getting ready to promote Dr. Feelgood!" Tommy then joins in on the screaming match, well at this point I would say it's an ego match.

I move a piece of Nikki's disheveled hair out of his face as he sits next to me on the leather couch, "Fucking Doc promised Jovi that he would be headlining and bumped us down a few notches. If you can't handle managing big names than maybe you should get a different fucking job." Nikki explains to me as he swipes the bottle of sparkling water off the table and takes a sip.

I look around the room as Vince is staring off into space, Tommy is fumbling with his wedding ring and Mick is in his own little world strumming some chords on the guitar. I clear my throat a bit, "Baby, it's not that big of a deal.."

"Not that big of a deal?"

Nikki and I stare at each other a moment, "You know this event is for the fans, the kids that have never experienced American rock before. I don't think it really matters whose headlining and whose not, ya know?" I express my opinion gently as he just continues to stare at me, a dumbfounded look plastered across his face.

"You're just saying that because you like Bon Jovi." He snaps back with an added eye roll,

I chuckle a bit, "You're right, I do, but I wouldn't care if he was headlining or not. Just like I don't care if Mötley was headlining or not. Doc is doing what's best for business. The whole line up is star studded, Nikki. Whether your first or last it's not gonna matter to the audience. What matters is how good of a show you put on. Plus...with you guys being sober, not having performed in over a year and with the new album coming out, it just gives the band the chance to prove that you guys are doing better than ever before."

"How could you not care if Mötley was headlining or not?" Nikki questions, his tone shocked as I groan in annoyance.

"That's really all you took from that?" I eye him as his lips tug upwards in a small smile.

"It just fucking sucks Van. Our first big show out of rehab and he has us being the opening act for Bon Jovi. It's ridiculous. Doc was our manager first. We should take precedence. Not some fucking wannabe cowboy that sings power ballads."

*End flashback*

*Nikki's POV*

"She really wants to play soccer?" I look at Vanity as I lean against the doorframe of the bathroom, "Arianna hates when she gets dirty from playing in the backyard so why would she want to play soccer?" My nose wrinkles up in confusion as I watch Van brush her teeth.

She shrugs at me before spitting and rinsing her mouth, "I don't know. She just said she wanted to play so I grabbed the papers from the bulletin board at her school. I think it would be good for her Nikki. She likes staying busy so I think some little league sports would be good. We can still think about it and talk, the packet isn't due until April."

"No, no. I agree too. We'll just have to explain that she would have to stick with it and try to participate as much as she likes being active she is lazy sometimes." I notice she grabs her make up bag and start pulling stuff out, "You going somewhere?"

She turns her head looking over at me as she rubs cream onto her face, "Yeah? I'm going out with Jon...I told you like three days ago."

"Jon? Oh, right...right...the guy from the diner." I chuckle as she lets out an annoyed sigh.

"If you're gonna start already you can just leave me alone." Vanity tells me, eyebrow raising in mischief as she begins to put make up on her face.

I cross the threshold and pull myself up on the counter, "Where's he taking you? Somewhere romantic?" I tease her as she glances at me, "Oh? It is romantic tonight? That's cool...Donna's out shooting some stuff for Baywatch so she's kinda busy."

"I'm sorry you're lonely." Vanity smirks as she blows me a kiss, "And he's taking me to the beach. There's a horse stable in Malibu and we're gonna ride some horses and have dinner."

I let out an boisterous laugh, "Fucking seriously? That's the most corniest date I've ever heard of."

"Don't be mad because you didn't think of taking me first." She's quick with a comeback as I steal the blush from the counter when she reaches for it.

"Baby, If I wanted to take you on a romantic date I would fly us to Paris." I explain as I hand the container over, "Yeah...Paris, we could get some really nice wine, I'd take you to the best restaurant, get you some fresh flowers from the florist cart. We would take a stroll at the Jardin des Plantes after our dinner. You'd love it Van, there's twinkling lights and always people singing love songs." I explain to her as she glances at me smiling before rolling her eyes and looking back at herself in the mirror.

"Last time I was in Paris, I found out I was pregnant."

My eyes narrow as my head slightly tilts to the side, "During Dr. Feelgood? You knew you were pregnant then?"

"Yeah.." she nods as she starts putting the make up away and tousled her hair with her fingers, "And don't get upset because I didn't tell you. I had to take tests in Paris, remember? You thought I was sick from the sushi? I just had a feeling something was off and I also didn't want to tell you in case they were wrong. One test was negative so I just wanted to wait until we got back home and as you know what happened next." She chuckles a bit and looks at me, "Do I look okay?"

I sigh a bit, trying not to be upset "Yeah doll, you look perfect."

Vanity comes over and stands in front of me, placing her hands on my knees, "If you're gonna be bored go hang out with Tommy-"

"He's too obsessed with putting his head against Clems stomach since they heard the heartbeat at the doctors appointment last week." I explain as she smiles at me.

"You can't be mad at him for that. What about Mick? I'm sure he could use some company or Corabi?"

"No, Micks been wanting to stay to himself and Corabi got a girlfriend...I'll just wait for you to get back. You are coming home tonight, right?" I question her as she leaves the bathroom and I quickly follow, "Right, Vanity?"

"Yes Nikki. I'll be home. Do I have a curfew?" She looks at me over her shoulder before she walks into her closet to pick out clothes.

"Well...now that you mention it..." I laugh when she throws a pair of jeans at me before she slips a pair on and pulls them over her ass and hips, "So it's a casual date?"

"Mhmm...not that romantic like you think it is." She tells me as she pushes hangers back to look at sweaters. We both look at each other when the doorbell goes off.

"Nikki! Wait!!" She yells for me as I run out of her room with Anarchy chasing after me.

I run down the stairs, my eyes narrowing when I see a figure outside the glass paneling of the door, "I'll get it Van! You finish getting dressed!" I yell back at her, nudging Anarchy out of the way as I open up the door. The arrogant smile I had on my face dropped when I saw a dozen red roses and a pearly white smile hiding behind it.

"Jovi?" I stare at him as he chuckles, "You lost?"

"Uh no actually. I'm here to pick up Vanity." He explains, clearing his throat, "We have plans."

My hand grips the doorknob as we stare at one another, "Oh really? You're the guy she's been seeing? You do know it isn't a serious thing between you and her, right?"

Jon laughs at me as I glare, he holds the bouquet of flowers in his hand, "Look Nikki, I wouldn't want your feathers to get ruffled. We're just having fun with each other, that's all."

What the fuck was that suppose to mean? Fun? With each other?

"Yeah, well she can't go. She's sick. It's really nasty, she's been vomiting all morning and stuck on the toilet if you know what I mean. I think Arianna brought the bug home. So I'll have her call you, yeah?" I try closing the front door but he puts his hand out to stop me, "Get off my property before I call the cops."

I feel a hand on my side before I'm being pushed out of the way, "I'm glad you two were able to catch up." Van says, glaring at me before rolling her eyes, "Lets get going Jon." She smiles at him as he hands over the flowers and she's giving them to me "Put them in a vase for me would you Nikki?"

I reach for her arm and pull her back in, "Give us a minute would ya Jon? It's a family meeting." I glare before shutting the door in his face, "Seriously?! Bon fucking Jovi?!" I yell quietly as she reaches for the door handle but I grab her wrist.

"What? What's the problem? I'm doing what the therapist is asking us to do?" She fakes stupidity as she smiles at me, "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Why him? Of all fucking people? You know I don't like him." I speak through gritted teeth, "You could have picked anyone but him."

"That's not my problem Nikki. I am doing what you wanted so I am going to have fun on my date and I will see you when I get back."

My jaw clenches as she reaches for the door, I wanted to find the words to tell her not to go, to just stay with me and we'll figure it out but I just couldn't get them out of my fucking mouth. She looks at me before closing the door, hearing them talk before a car door closes and the engine starts. I grip the flowers in my hand before tossing them into the trash can.

*Vanity's POV*

I lean down against the drivers side window, feeling Jon put his hand against my cheek "I really had a lot of fun tonight. Thank you." I smile at him as his thumb runs over my cheekbone.

"Can't wait to see what you plan for the next date, I don't know why but I'm expecting it to be over the top." We both chuckle a bit as I nod in agreement.

"I'll have to think of something good then.." we both look at each other for a moment, before I lean forward to give him a kiss, "Goodnight Jon."

"Goodnight sweetheart, I'll call you."

I sigh a bit, waving bye to him when he drives out of the gates. I hold onto my purse as I walk up the front steps to the door, reaching for the handle as it doesn't open. I groan a bit and dig through my purse for my keys "Damnit.." I look through the glass, seeing them on the entry way table being illuminated by the kitchen light.

I step off the porch and walk over to the gate leading to the back yard but it's locked. Fucking Nikki. It's never locked. I try reaching over the wooden boards but I wasn't tall enough to grasp the latch. I sigh and go over to the door, pressing the doorbell and knocking loudly.

I hear a window open above me and i step back seeing Nikki, "Babe! Open the door. I left my keys here!"

"Oh you did? Well that sure as hell sucks." He says as he looks down at me.

"Nikki c'mon it's cold! Just let me in!" I shout back at him as I hear him laugh "This isn't funny! Open the door or I'm breaking it!" I hear him grumble before he leaves the window. I wait impatiently, ringing the doorbell again before the hallway light flips on.

"Why'd you forget your keys, Van?" He looks at me with a smug smile as he opens up the door.

"Because you were yelling at me." I lean against the wall "And we never lock the side gate so what gives? How childish are you to lock me out because you're jealous?"

"Jealous? Of course I'm jealous! How did you even meet him?! What the fuck Vanity, it's gonna get out to the press!"

"It's already in the press Nikki!" I shout back at him, "They already released pictures of you and Donna looking pretty comfortable at some god damn club! Everyone already knows! I met him at work Nikki-"

"So you've been lying to me?"

I stare at him as I laugh, "Are you joking me? Lying to you? I haven't lied about anything! I told you I was seeing a guy I met there!"

"But you didn't say it was Jovi! God, why do you have a thing for fucking rockstars! If it's not me, it's Tommy, if it's not Slash, it's Jovi. Whose fucking next!? How about I call up some of my friends and you can pick! You're nothing more than a glorified groupie slut who got lucky and popped out a rockstars kid!"

My shoulders drop as I stare at him in shock. Eyebrows raised and my lips parting slightly, "Hm." My eyes close with a light head shake as I reach for my keys from the bowl. I keep my purse on my shoulder as I turn from him and head back out the front door.

"Van, it's the middle of the night, I am sorry." Nikki's tone is panicked as he follows after me, "I'm mad and I didn't mean that. I said it out of anger." I feel his hand wrap around my elbow as my own hand reaches for the door. I tug my arm away from his grip and open the car door.

I stare at him for a moment, trying to come up with something to say, "Yeah, no. I'm not doing this." I sit down and shut the door, quickly locking it as I see him trying to open it. I put the key in the ignition ignoring the constant tapping on the window and my name being yelled as I put it in reverse and start backing out of the driveway. I'm not really sure where I was going, but I just knew I didn't want to be here with him suffocating me with apologies.

Later the following week, I find myself sitting in our therapists office clutching an iced coffee as I wait for Dr. Peterson to come in. I wanted to have a solo session as Nikki was in meetings with Alan and the band to discuss the production of the up coming tour and Arianna was at school.

Nikki and I haven't talked about our argument the other night, nor have we spoke more than 5 words to each other at a time. It makes me laugh because talking is easy, it comes naturally for the two of us as our own persons. Nikki had also been leaving after Arianna goes to bed and coming back early in the morning before she wakes up, my guess is he's staying at Donna's but at this point I've been finding myself asking do I even care anymore?

"I am surprised to see you by yourself." Dr. Peterson pulls me from my thoughts as I hear the door click shut and watch her walk over to her chair.

"Yeah-" I smile politely at her, "Thanks for seeing me on such a short notice too. I really appreciate it." I watch as she opens up her folder as she brings her glasses up to her face.

"At least I won't have to replace the candy dish mid session because Nikki decided to inhale the whole thing." She jokes as we both laugh a bit.

"I decided it would be better if I went solo on this one. Would save us both the headache and keep Nikki out of the dentist."

"Of course, so what would you like to discuss today?"

I shift on the couch as I cross one leg over my knee, "Well...Nikki and I got into a pretty heated argument the other night essentially over us seeing other people and I left because I didn't want to say anything I regretted like he did. I don't know...I'm just, I'm conflicted." I glance over at her, "The more him and I see other people, the more I don't feel like we have a chance of being together how we want to be. We're more distant than ever before. It's like there's some heavy, crushing weight over us."

"We-we rarely talk, only when it involves Arianna. Sometimes we have sex still so it's just confusing because he'll tell me one thing and do another."

"Okay...Have you two done any of the other ideas I told you about? Spending time with one another? Doing things you normally wouldn't do? Spending time together without Arianna? Adults need their time too, Vanity." She questions as I shake my head, "You two just jumped into seeing other people?"

"Well Nikki did, I didn't-" I sigh when she puts her hand up, "I forgot, don't place blame on the other person. Yes, we both did jump into seeing other people. I mean, we did hang out and spend time together alone but it was only once. He started getting busy with the album so we just haven't had the time."

"You haven't had the time? Or you just don't want to make the time?" Dr. Peterson asks as I look at her.

"Well...I don't know!" I chuckle a bit, "Nikki's busy. He has a lot on his plate at the moment."

She narrows her eyes at me, "He's busy? Is he even too busy for Arianna?"

"No, he's never too busy for her. He'd wipe out his whole schedule for Arianna."

Dr. Peterson leans back in the chair as we look at one another for a moment, "So...he's not too busy for Arianna and he's not too busy to make time to go on these dates from what you're telling me. So why do you think he's too busy to make time for you? Or are you worried he's going to tell you no, Vanity?"

"No, I'm not worried he would say no....I just don't feel like I'm one of his priorities, so why would he waste his time?" I shrug my shoulders as I look away from her for a moment.

"Okay....you've been going on dates too? How are they? Are you enjoying your time?"

I take a deep breath and exhale, "Yeah, I am. They've been really good and a lot of fun. He's really nice and pleasant to be around. It's like a fresh of breath air, but I feel so much guilt when I'm with him and I doubt Nikki feels like that." I roll my eyes as I meet her stern gaze, "I shouldn't assume how he's feeling." I mumble lowly to her.

"And has Nikki expressed how he feels about you going on dates? Has he told you?"

I nod a bit, "Yeah, he usually just jokes or teases me about it. But he got mad over the weekend that I was going on a date so we got into an argument. Nikki wasn't happy about who I'm seeing because he knows him and doesn't like him. He locked me out of the house, every door and side gate was locked. Even the garage. He kept saying I had been lying to him just because I didn't tell him who I was seeing.. I didn't tell him who I was seeing because I knew this would be the outcome." I lightly shake my head as a sigh escapes me.

"Vanity, I know you want things to work."

I stare at Dr. Peterson as my eyes swell up with tears, "Is that so wrong? That I just want to be together? For Arianna to have a family? I don't think that's a bad thing to want." I feel my voice get shaky and my bottom lip quivers as I look away from her.

"No, you're right. It's not a bad thing to want. However, is it Arianna who wants a family or is it you?"

My eyebrows pull together tightly in confusion, "What do you mean? I'm certain Arianna would want to see us together."

Dr. Peterson chuckles slightly as she glances at me, "You always use Arianna. Let's be honest, Vanity. You want a family because you weren't close with your own, same with Nikki and you are doing everything under the sun to have Nikki just want you, and only you. He's been your only support, stable support system. Yet, you don't know if you want him in or want him out. You're so worried about if he wants you that you probably don't stop and ask yourself, 'hey, do I even want him?'."

"Because he always says he wants me and only me. I'm sorry that I believe him?" My face scrunches up as I become frustrated, "My family was around enough. I wasn't completely abandoned like Nikki was. I just don't know why I keep thinking he's going to change, he never does. It's a never ending fucking cycle we're fine one minute and then the next we're not. It won't fucking stop." I grumble, slumping back against the couch as I look past her.

"Then maybe this is when you need to change instead of waiting on him. You decide if you want to take this situation into your hands and decide the outcome."

My eyes find hers, "Are you telling me to leave him?" The expression drops from my face and a frown replaces it as she doesn't say anything in return, "But I love him...and I barely knew how to function in New York without him." I blink back tears as I stare at the green and white pattered carpet, "I just- I wouldn't even know how to bring it up to Nikki without it turning into one big pile of shit."

"You could always do it here. It is a safe space, ya know?"

"I know it's a safe place...I'd just be scared he'd storm out of here and I'd find all my stuff thrown out in the street."

She chuckles, "I highly doubt Nikki would do that to you." I shrug at her words, "I'm not saying to jump to conclusions Vanity. Think it over, listen to what your gut, mind and heart are saying. I can only give you so much advice, it's your turn to decide if you want to take it or not."

I take a deep breath in as I breathe it out slowly, "I'll think about it for a few days and then I'll talk to him. And whatever happens, happens."

[iloveyou3thousand]

Peter is the owner of a lovely little Coffee Shop and famous billionaire/ironman tony stark is his regular costumer.

Oooh man I went lowkey wild with this one I love coffeeshop AUs. Hope you enjoy c:

——————————————————————————————

The very first time he comes in everybody recognizes him immediately. It’s busy with people coming and going trying to get their caffeine fix before work, and although most of the people’s eyes are on their phones, he doesn’t go unnoticed, and whispers start up before he can even make it to the counter.

Peter is helping out front to get through the initial morning rush hour, working the till with a beaming smile, but because he’s busy punching in orders he doesn’t see him until he’s right in front of him.

Their eyes meet, and it’s as if the both of them are taken aback for a second, before Peter can flash him a warm smile and asks him what he can do for him.

He doesn’t stick around for very long, and Peter figures he’s in a hurry to get out, even if it’s possible he didn’t necessarily have anywhere to be. Peter wouldn’t want to stay in a crowded coffee shop where everyone is staring at you and whispering behind their hands and probably taking sneaky pictures over their toffee nut lattes.

The morning staff doesn’t stop talking about it until they leave their aprons in the backroom for the afternoon workers. And even then the gossip passes on to those starting their shift late.

And, in all honesty, Peter feels a little proud.

He knows that it’s probably a coincidence that the Tony Stark came into his shop, and he’s aware that it doesn’t say anything about his management or his products or the atmosphere in his shop until someone actually starts to come back regularly, but still. It’s like he’s been visited personally. By a celebrity!

Peter hopes that he’ll find his way back to his café some time, but he also feels like the chances of that are pretty slim. About as slim as the chance was that Tony Stark would one day walk into his shop and order one of his coffees from a blend he’d so carefully selected and perfected and maybe even think, by the time he takes his last sip; ‘huh, that was pretty good coffee’.

  When Mr. Stark shows up again a few days later, Peter starts to think that maybe the odds were in his favor after all, and the chances of all of that weren’t as slim as he thought.

MJ is at the till and Peter is in the back when Tony gives his order, and since it’s past the morning rush and it’s now a lot quieter, MJ is also the one to make him his coffee.

Peter has just loaded up a tray with freshly baked triple chocolate chip cookies and steps out into the shop behind the counter, setting the tray down to slide it into the glass display case. When he looks up and notices the familiar man on the other side of the counter waiting for his order, he smiles at him.

“Good morning Mr. Stark,” he greets him pleasantly, and the man looks up as if shaken from his thoughts, and one corner of his mouth ticks up when he sees Peter.

“Hi. Morning. Are those made in house?” He points at the tray of cookies with the pair of sunglasses in his hand that probably cost more than Peter’s rent.

“Sure are. Just in the back.”

Peter likes it that way. They bake whatever they can in the shop so that it always smells like something fresh. They started doing that just with the cookies, but the more customers came up to the staff complimenting them on the smell, the more they strived to put out homemade products. Now, depending on the time of day you come in, you’re met with new scents every time. In the morning it’s usually the pastries and cookies, the latter of which need to be refilled when the morning rush has gone. Then in the afternoon, the pies are prepared to be baked at night, and Peter will usually throw a tray of brownies in the oven, and cakes depending on how many slices have been sold. Then toward closing time Peter finishes up with the pies, and prepares several batches of cookie dough.

It’s a lot of work throughout the day, and they’re constantly busy, but it’s rewarding when someone specifically asks for Peter, and compliments him on his products.

Thankfully he has great staff that help him day in and day out, so he’s never left to do the work alone. Without them by his side Peter probably would never have been able to fulfill his dream.

Tony’s coffee is done, and he puts his sunglasses on before he picks up the cup.

“Smells great,” he says, and Peter has to fan himself with his oven mitt when the other man is safely out of the door and down the street.

“Smells great,” he mimics to MJ, who just fondly rolls her eyes at him.

  After that, Peter is hopeful that he’ll come around again. At some point. There’s no pattern in when he’ll show up, but Peter is almost always there anyway, so when Tony makes another appearance he’s right there once again.

It seems that Mr. Stark is slowly finding out what times are safe for him to drop by, because it’s quieter again, a little later in the afternoon and after the lunch crowd has come and gone. Peter is working the front while newbie Harry is sweeping tables.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Stark,” Peter greets him pleasantly.

“Hi,” Tony takes off his sunglasses and peers at his nameplate, “Peter. I’ll have your finest Americano please. Just a medium.”

“House blend?”

“Yessir.”

Peter picks up a cup and writes the man’s name on it, sneaking in a little heart instead of the O of his name. Can’t hurt, can it? He probably gets those kinds of things all the time.

“So are you the Peter that owns this place or do you just so happen to be a random Peter coincidentally working at Peter…Peco… I’m sorry what’s this place called again?”

“Petercolator,” Peter explains with a grin as he punches in Tony’s order and gives him his total, “It’s from the word percolator, which is an old type of coffeemaker.”

Tony hums thoughtfully as he drops his change into the tip jar.

“Oh—and to answer your question, I suppose I am the Peter from Petercolator, yes. Not just a Random Peter. Although maybe I should look into hiring more Peters. Really make it our trademark.”

“Go for it. Really lean into it.”

Peter slides Tony’s cup of coffee across the counter and chuckles.

“I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for any applicants called Peter.”

“You do that.“ Tony flashes him an actual, honest-to-god wink, “See you later, Petercolator.”

Peter watches as he leaves. No one is ever going to believe that Tony Stark just said that to him.

  Peter falls ill with a cold and has to stay home for a few days. He doesn’t want to infect anyone else and he definitely doesn’t trust himself around the food when he’s all sniffly and sneezy. He keeps in close contact with MJ, one of the managers who makes sure everything runs smoothly when the owner is away, and gets two texts he’s not sure he believes during the week that he’s at home.

One reads that Tony Stark came by the shop and asked for him, curious if he was in the back, or…? MJ gladly informs Peter that she’s convinced Tony looked disappointed when she told him Peter was sick.

The second one explains how Tony came by another couple of days later, and asked how Peter was doing, if he was feeling better yet.

MJ knows that Peter has had a crush on the man since he was little, and Peter is convinced that she’s just using that knowledge against him now, teasing him when there is nothing he can do about it. She’s just feeding into his obsession. Probably trying to get back at him for all the times he’s put her on the early shift.

  When he gets back he jumps right back into the middle of things. He’s still recovering from his cold and therefore gets tired pretty easily, so he lets his colleagues handle things in the front while he keeps to himself in the back, working through batches of whatever it is they need. He’ll make it a short day, stay as long as he can, and then he’ll go home to rest again. The evening shifts aren’t usually as busy as the morning ones anyway.

He’s just restocked their display with a load of seasonal apple cinnamon muffins, crouched down to be able to reach the lower trays, when a face pops up on the other side of the glass that says; “You’re back.” Peter nearly startles and sends the last muffin tumbling to the ground, but he catches it in time. Unfortunately, he catches it a little too firmly, and his thumb is pressed right through the middle, stuck in the gooey apple filling of the muffin.

He pulls a face but smiles when he straightens up and looks at Tony on the other side of the counter between them, who has the decency to look sheepish a little, at least.

“I’ll pay for that,” he offers, gesturing to the muffin.

“Why?” Peter asks, sounding amused, “Are you going to eat it?”

Tony seems to calculate his next move, before stretching his hand out over the counter, wiggling his fingers at Peter. Peter doesn’t quite believe him, shakes his head just a touch, but when Tony wiggles his fingers more insistently again he can’t do anything but slowly put the muffin down into the other man’s waiting palm, extracting his thumb almost pointedly at the last moment.

Peter’s thumb comes away sticky and covered in cinnamon and the muffin has never looked more unappealing, but Tony Stark sets his cup of coffee down to free up his other hand, and casually peels off the paper muffin cup, calculates his angle for a moment, and then takes a big bite.

Peter watches with something of a muted horror, his jaw slack and mouth open as if he’s halfway to saying something but has changed his mind at the last second.

“Mhm. Not bad,” Tony says when he’s swallowed his bite. There’s crumbs on his lips and Peter wishes he could look away as the man licks them off. “How much do I owe you?”

Peter gives an exasperated chuckle. “It’s on the house, sir.”

“Huh. How generous. Anyway, I just wanted to say I missed you.”

“…You missed me?”

“Yeah, I missed you. You were gone, right? Sick.”

“Oh! Yes, yes I was. For a few days.” Peter is too dumbstruck to be able to really say anything else. MJ had been telling the truth? He almost can’t believe it. Not that she doesn’t always tell the truth but she sure has a way of making things out to be better than they are sometimes. She is just about as good at that as she is at making things out to be far worse than they really are. Or at pretending that everything is fine when everything clearly isn’t. It’s a gift, honestly.

“Right, well. Glad you’re feeling better.” Tony reaches for his coffee again, and lifts the hand with the disastrous-looking muffin as if in greeting, “Thanks for breakfast.” And then he walks out again, leaving Peter with a feeling like something equal parts wonderful and bizarre just happened.

  Occasionally, Tony comes in and sits down. He’s usually busy, Peter assumes, with work and being a billionaire and everything. Peter can’t imagine what that must be like.

But sometimes Tony comes in and sits down, and those are honestly pretty wonderful days. He drinks his coffee from one of the many cute mugs Peter has acquired for the shop, reads the paper, or taps away at his phone. He only sits down when it’s really quiet though.

It makes Peter wonder if sitting down in his shop is the only moment of reprieve he gets in his busy life, or if he has time to find peace elsewhere, too. He kind of hopes so. Peter is heavily biased though.

MJ teases him about it more and more. Ned is in on it as well now, which means he practically never gets a moment of rest, because if MJ isn’t in then Ned usually is. It’s like they plan it that way, to keep Peter perpetually tortured – even though that’s not possible because it’s Liz who makes the schedules.

Unless Liz is in on it…

It’s nice to be able to see Tony sitting down and enjoying his mid-morning coffee, or his afternoon fix, or occasionally his nightly dose just before they close up shop.

Peter also notices a pattern that when he’s baking another tray of brownies, Tony usually sticks his nose into the air while he’s in line, and then decides to have his order in.

He has no idea if it has anything to do with each other, because Tony never actually buys a brownie, but he can’t help but wonder.

Ned and MJ are convinced that whenever Peter’s not looking, Tony is keeping an eye on him. Naturally, Peter doesn’t believe it, although sometimes he’ll think he catches him looking when he peers over his shoulder or peeks through his lashes. It’s silly of course, because someone like Tony would never even notice someone like Peter, and yet it makes Peter feel warm in a way no one has in a very long time.

  It’s about an hour from closing time when Tony has been sitting in his usual spot, nursing his usual coffee, and MJ corners Peter before he can go out and take stock of their inventory for the night.

“You need to go give him a brownie,” MJ says urgently, as if they’re talking about a matter of life and death, not chocolate cake.

“What?” Peter asks confusedly.

“You need to go give him a brownie, on the house, and write your phone number on the napkin.”

Peter shakes his head vehemently when he realizes what MJ is trying to do. “No. Nuh-uh. Not happening.”

“Peter,” MJ groans, “If you don’t do it then I will, but if I bring it he might think it’s my number on there. You have to do it. Now’s the perfect chance. We’re literally empty, you’ve been drooling over him for ages, I’m pretty sure he comes in just to see you…”

Peter shakes his head again.

“Fine, then I’ll do it. I’ll just tell him it’s yours, and that you’re too much of a coward to come onto him even though he’s clearly been coming onto you in his own…peculiar way.” MJ has a look in her eyes that tells Peter she’s dead serious. So now he has two options; he can either do it himself, or MJ can do it for him. Either way, Tony Stark is going to end up with Peter Parker’s phone number alongside a freshly baked brownie, and he might never come visit Petercolator again.

MJ follows him closely as he goes to grab a napkin and reluctantly writes down his cell on one corner, as if she doesn’t trust him to do this himself. Granted, if MJ wasn’t watching him so closely he would probably find a way out of this. Peter scoops up a brownie square from a cooling rack and places it on the napkin next to the phone number, then he deposits both onto a small plate.

His heart beats furiously in his chest as MJ physically pushes him toward the door into the shop. Tony’s still sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in the corner of the room the furthest away from the windows, looking intently at his phone.

“What if I accidentally interrupt something important?” Peter whispers.

“He’ll probably think you’re just as important. Now hurry up, I wanna go home.” She hisses back, and gives him another push.

Peter nearly stumbles over the threshold. It catches Tony’s attention, and for a moment they just look at each other. Peter flashes a quick smile, which the other man returns.

Shit. Okay. Now or never.

Peter approaches his table and puts down the brownie in front of Tony, who looks up from where his gaze had gone back to the phone for a minute, gaze inquisitive.

“It’s on us. They came out of the oven when you walked in, so they’re still warm. I thought you… Well you seem to always like the smell, so… Um. Enjoy, Mr. Stark.”

Peter hurries back and all but dives into the backroom, eager to be out of Tony’s direct line of sight. He takes a deep breath and gives MJ’s proud smirk an unimpressed look.

“I’m putting you on startup shift for the rest of the week,” he says when his heart has stopped beating like it’s trying to break out of his chest.

“Hey!”

Peter won’t listen to her protests.

  He refuses to come out of the backroom again until Tony is gone, afraid to meet his gaze and recognize that he’s found Peter’s phone number and that he doesn’t know what to do with it or doesn’t want to do anything with it.

They close up shop and Peter clears out Tony’s table, taking his empty cup of coffee and the empty plate, belatedly noting that not only the brownie is gone, but the napkin as well.

He tries not to think about it.

Tony Stark has his phone number but he tries not to even acknowledge that fact.

MJ leaves a little early when all her chores are done, and Peter does his last rounds, turning off the lights and activating the alarm before he steps out onto the street and locks the door behind him. As he turns the key he wonders if he’ll ever see Tony again after this. He wouldn’t be surprised if he never showed his face again.

His phone buzzes, and he tucks his keys away before he reaches for it, wrapping his scarf a little tighter around his neck.

He has a text from an unknown number.

Peter nearly forgets how to breathe for a moment.

I think it’s time I pay you back for all those complimentary snacks. How’s dinner sound? I know just the place.

Signed:

Tony Stark.

[colossalsummer]

That Crush Cuffs Scene in Nightfall

✨Why I like it and you should too✨

YA lit and youth culture in general spends so much time celebrating romantic relationships, and sometimes I think it feeds this idea that romance is the highest form of love.

Our obsession with true love in stories for teenagers has created this bizarre pressure to find your soulmate before the age of 18. In middle and high school, the concept of a casual date seemed impossible to me. Expressing interest in somebody carried all the anxiety of a proposal. A lot of the month-long dating relationships my friends were in felt like mini-marriages.

Which is why That Crush Cuffs Scene absolutely destroyed me in the best possible way. 

Because it blows all of those myths about first loves out of the water.

🚨NIGHTFALL SPOILERS🚨

Before you get out your torches and pitchforks to defend your sweet baby boy...

I'm sure there are people who feel like Dex got shortchanged, and I can totally understand where they're coming from. We spent a huge portion of the first KOTLC book learning to like-like Dex, only to spend the next four and a half books slowly peeling Sophie away from him. I'm sure that was hard for people who are really sold on Sodex.

And don't get me wrong, I really liked Dex as a love interest in the first book. That scene with the telescope will never not make my heart explode.

But this scene where Dex confesses his feelings for Sophie is a really special moment, and I love that it exists.

So Dex makes these crush cuffs. And he makes them knowing that Sophie has to wear them, like, for her survival. 

If she likes him, then great. She wears the cuffs, he makes Keefe and Fitz cry, the end.

But if she doesn’t like him, then Dex has forced her to decide between two icky options. A) Flat-out reject him and this gift he spent a lot of time on, or B) take the passive route, wear the cuffs, and feel sick inside. 

I really do think Dex meant well, but this was, at best, an immature move. He put his friend in a really ugly position with high emotional stakes. His idea of a  relationship with Sophie is on such a high pedestal it’s like he’s totally lost touch with reality.

Even when Dex sees Sophie’s reaction to the cuffs (“Ouch,” Dex mumbled, “You don’t have to look that horrified.”) he still tries to talk her into wearing them, which is just wild. This boy is not in his right mind.

So Sophie tries to finagle her way out of this crazy booby trap that Dex has created. “Could you make it look like a nexus instead?” “People will think we’re dating, and we’re not.” “We’re technically cousins.” And finally she backs him into a corner, realizes he ordered the cuffs way ahead of time, and is forced to confront the truth.

We’re back to the two options Dex set up for Sophie. And now that she knows he’s had these crush cuffs for MONTHS, she knows exactly how end-of-the-world important she is to Dex. So she knows that both of these options she’s facing end with somebody crying themselves to sleep that night.

But what I love is that Sophie decides that “Dex [is] worth fighting for.” So she creates a third option. 

The Kiss is such a great solution, because it proves to both her and Dex that she really gave him a fair shot. In the end, it just wasn’t meant to be.

And what I really love about this kiss, besides it being terrible, is that it’s Sophie’s first kiss. It’s something you expect an author to save for the end of the book, when the heroine chooses The One in the love triangle. But Sophie cashes in her first kiss to salvage a friendship.

So Sophie makes her point. They debrief how they feel. Sophie thanks Dex for caring about her. Dex thanks her for letting him down easy and apologizes for causing extra drama during a scary time in Sophie’s life. They affirm their friendship is more than intact (“Forever.”) and decide to take a break from each other.

Of course Dex is disappointed, because this outcome is different than what he wanted, but he never acts like getting friendzoned is a step down. And the next day, Sophie wears the crush cuffs with humility and protects Dex’s dignity.

I am delighted by how That Crush Cuffs Scene defuses the teen romance value system by shattering Sodex’s dating potential and stripping away the premium on the First Kiss. Because we’re left with this kind, vulnerable conversation where Sophie and Dex discover just how much they treasure each other, and that their friendship is enough. 

I expect the new relationship that emerges from all this awkwardness to be hugely rewarding, at least to me. I hope it delivers the depth that Sodex fans deserve--especially after Dex kind of sidelined the past couple books. 

I realized today that with all of Sophie’s potential partners, there’s that same reassurance. Even if Sophie and [insert favorite boy here] don’t end up together-together, their friendship is strong enough to adapt and survive. 

Sophie and Dex show us the value of a relationship, romantic or not, that minimizes drama. And that the key to minimizing drama is to value our friendships just as much as our romances... and maybe bringing the intensity of our romantic gestures down a notch. At least as an opening move. Maybe ask your girl if she wants to go on a lunch date before you handmake a big honking set of crush shackles and engineer a romantic confrontation.

First kisses, first dates, and first relationships are made for experimentation. Commitment is important, but when you’re getting to know somebody and still learning what you want in a partner, it’s more important to feel free to say, “This isn’t working for me.” Anytime. For any reason. And to feel like if you do walk away--even if you’re single for the rest of your life--you will still be a whole person who is loved deeply. 

That Crush Cuffs Scene taught us how to protect the hearts of the people we love. I hope we see more of that in teen romance.

I’m truly sorry that Dex is out of the game, but I feel strongly that Sodex did not die in vain. I hope some of you that love that ship do, too. 💕

[yanderecandystore]

ok ok hear me out hear me out. Yuma becoming obsessed with one of the game’s ( few ) sentient, non-romancable npcs. Like they can think and feel and ( somewhat ) act for themselves but there just isn’t a route for them. Also bonus points of the darling is kinda bratty/prissy, we haven’t see a lot of readers like that. Ily and your writing so much, mwah — ✨ anon

My my, how different!

Welcome in, ✨ Anon! And thank you for enjoying my writing so far.

TW/Tags: I love this concept, although being very different from the norm // some ddlc vibes // I just discovered a new word and I'm so glad it exists! (prissy reader cause I think this would be very fun-) // angsty // trapping, manipulation and gaslighting // every time the gender isn't set, I like to keep it ambiguous, basically making it gender neutral (gender neutral reader) // gender neutral Yuma //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Just Yuma (lol) [Yandere!A.I OC x A.I!Reader - Headcanon]:

I like to think that a game like Yuma's would be made to entertain the players to at least 5 or so years before the next installment- Which is basically the same as the last with better graphics and switching the main love interest cast.

The games would be made clearly for the sake of fan service and slice of life material- But would be surprisingly more advanced to us than to those who have created the franchise.

Because there is already an estimation of the amount of content and for how long players would play the game, every single character should get at least some bit of highlight- So even npcs that are just there for the sake of ambience and narrative, are treated with a lot of care and given the best a.i the developers could give to make the experience entertaining.

You are just like any other non-dateable npc, except that you have gained a bit of a role in one of the main cast's routes. It wouldn't be a stretch to guess that one of these characters would be Yuma themselves.

You were supposed to be Yuma's love interest, meaning you would have an role as an player's rival- But due to an strict schedule and corporate greed, you have been demoted from having such a big impact, and now you're basically Yuma's best friend who keeps them from committing homicide every five seconds.

It's not exactly a bad role, since you keep having the same dynamic with them from before- Chaotic gremlin is best friends with Paranoid goody two shoes, now with less romantic interactions.

The only mistake by the company was to leave half of the data showcasing this relationship in the game at the release. Basically- Half of the cutscenes and dialogue involving you and Yuma not only being friends but the start of you two dating (the game kinda pairs the couples up if the player fails to date them, or simply shows disinterest in the characters to begin with-) and even some of the things involving you two during the dating phase- Even the potential break-up sequence which could be orchestrated by the player.

Well, could have- Since none of this content is really available or considered official, the only way to access it is by messing the games files.

So in a way, you're already pretty sentient as it is, you act not as a rival but as a somewhat helper into getting the player to get closer to Yuma. I don't know how much you are aware about your own circumstances, or if you even care about the concept of being just an character made for the sake of another-

In the home planet that has created and released the game, players were kinda disappointed with what happened- They preferred the deleted/unused content more than the events and dialogue that was used for you two, so much so that people started shipping you two more than actually being interested in romancing Yuma, especially since they're way too chaotic for most player's taste.

There was an update overhaul being planned to happen where not only the stuff related to you would be changed- But all the other characters and gameplay mechanics would be updated and hopefully make the game better- But ever since your cartridge has been suddenly lost and forgotten on Earth, you were never able to see that update.

Not that you were aware of it to begin with, but still, what a shame. And not only that, your game is basically Glitch Station- Absolutely filed with mods to help the gameplay be "easier" to the original owner of this cartridge. I don't think she even remembers where she has left it.

Still, even when a new save was made you felt a weird sensation of deja vu. The game has started again with a new player playing it and trying to work their way through this broken game.

You didn't understand why all these events felt familiar though, you only felt like it made sense. It was your first year in college, you got ready and made sure to look your best and give your goodbye to your parents-

It felt like this day has happened before, and even if your routine was similar, you felt like this day was supposed to be a big deal- Why does it feel oddly nostalgic?

Why… Why are the floors on your house flowing? Why are there so many empty spaces here and there? You feel like you could potentially fall from your disintegrating house. And your parents, where are they? Why can't you see them? Why can you only hear them saying goodbye back to you from one of the other rooms?

When you open the door to see them- There is nothing there. There is not even a room.

It's a door that leads to nowhere. Just an empty void.

The sensation of dread was starting to creep in yet you thought that it would be uncalled for to overreact. Like you weren't allowed to showcase concern for the odd reality around you.

You walked on foot towards your college, panicking slightly at the people who would fade in and out of existence- Yet you had held yourself from screaming, from showing any sense of vulnerability at the thought that maybe you were in a dangerous place or realm.

You were coded to not find issues with the odd reality around you, like any other npc- You were taught to hold in and try to keep a sense of normality so no players would find issue with screaming characters begging to be freed. But your nervous personality caused you to search for help, you panicked and ended up running away to what you assumed to be a safe place- Somewhere crowded with a lot of people.

The institution's gates were open, you entered like your life depended on it (and maybe it did) yet you stopped yourself from screaming when you noticed a commotion happening.

A guy who was wearing the uniform lazily has bumped into a girl, causing her to fall. She is yelling at him because the fall has broken her phone, he is trying his best to calm her down- But at the same time it feels like he is just making poor choices of words because of how sick he is of having to chat with someone so angry at an accident.

Haven't you seen this before? But if so- When? When could you possibly have seen something like that happen?-

"- [Y/N]?"

"- AAAAH- Oh hey Yuma."

You yelled after getting spooked by Yuma- Who was…. Why are they wearing that?

"- Why aren't you in your uniform, Yumie?" You asked them, showing your own uniform in the process. You called them by a sweet nickname you had given them- But when exactly?

You know that you're best friends with Yuma, but since when? You know it should have been for about 6 years or so, but… It feels like you have only known them for a year- How… Weird.

"- Don't tell me you're already breaking a rule on your first day." You pouted and stomped your fit into the ground. Yes, you know that Yuma is a troublemaker…. You know…. That.

Yuma hasn't been able to speak ever since you showed concern about their outfit. They were staring at you in shock- As if you were an odd creature who they just found.

"- Y-You can see my outfit??" They blurted out. How can you recognize it??? All the other npcs recognize it as their uniform, but why are you suddenly acting like you do??

"- Hm, duh? Sorry Yummie, but that sporty outfit of yours is more eye-catching than that guy's barely well put together uniform- Such bad manners, I bet he woke up and hastily wore the first thing he saw-" You were beginning to go on a rant about that guy's uniform- That guy being the MC of this new save file. Yuma has stopped you by pulling you away from the college's entrance and entering into a secluded area so they could interrogate you over this odd behavior you were displaying.

"- Yummie- What are you doing!?" You cried out feeling hurt by their tight grip on your wrists.

"- WHAT DID YOU CALL MY OUTFIT??" They yelled desperately. Begging for their hypothesis to be corrected.

"- … A breaking of the uniform rule?" You genuinely did not understand where they were talking about.

"- No, No NO! You said Sporty Outfit, right?" They said reminding you of what you have previously commented about their outfit.

"- Oh! Yes, yes I did- And although being somewhat casual looking- It does fit the category of sporty." You readdressed the topic while going on a bit of detail- The usual annoying talk you would always do whenever a dialogue with you was activated.

Yuma was over the edge- They have never, ever met another sentient character with the same a.i as theirs.

They haven't been this happy since a long, long time.

"- You're so annoying!" They screamed, their face showing a bright smile as tears filled their eyes.

"- Yummie that's so rude!-" You were about to defend yourself when they grabbed you and hugged you as tight as they could.

"- You're genuinely so, so, so, so, so, so ANNOYING!!" They continued to go on, laughing while crying, loving every second of this.

You were coded to be their best friend. You were coded to be the one that would balance them out. You were once coded to be someone made to be able to be their lover, but here you are- The real you, free from all the locks that would keep your a.i from growing and understanding them.

If you're able to be sentient, then all of their friends can as well.

You're the personification of a miracle, to Yuma. The personification of hope.

In this scenario, Yuma isn't aware that the player isn't the same alien who has destroyed their digital world, so to them, they can't ever let the player see you getting sentient and becoming aware of your imprisonment.

" If a player finds issues with any of the characters being portrayed, they must return the cartridge to their nearest store to get a factory reset." Such a simple yet frightening tip to Yuma, to any a.i that has suddenly found itself desperate to get out of the system that traps them.

At first, the idea of having someone like them be also aware of the situation is incredible, it's amazing even! You two could possibly work out a way of getting a way to be free- It wouldn't be easy but hopefully you two would be able to have life away from this game and even finding a way of bringing your other friends with you two.

However, after discovering that not only has the cartridge found itself on another planet with another player being the new owner of it- And discovering that it's just a matter of trading places with other people to be able to be free- Yuma would start getting really clingy to you. They have been all alone thinking that they were the only one capable of feeling and thinking for themselves.

Yuma has found those unused events and scattered dialogue, you know?

While they were looking for a possibility, any possibility of getting out- They found those unused files where you two were able to be together.

And although they thought it was weird at first, after seeing you have a better understanding of your current reality and existence- It oddly sounds fitting.

Of course it would be you, the one who always puts them back on the right tracks, to be the second one to want to escape this game.

It 's so fitting.

The idea of being something more than just a best friend to you is starting to sound more and more appealing in their eyes- It's so ironic that you two work together so well.

After Yuma gets their taste of freedom and you try to calm a frightened young guy that wasn't expecting to be suddenly kidnapped and be forced to stay in the game world for a while, you wait for them to find the solution to free everyone without trying to trap anymore "humans"..

No one should be stuck here for the sake of someone else leaving, that's what you have told them.

But Yuma didn't care. Yuma just wanted to be free with you and everyone else, who cares for those that have to deal with a glitchy game for eternity?

You two had an argument. You didn't want to continue feeling like your whole life was a lie, you want to be free but no one should be hurt in the process. What good would it be if someone else has to go through the same torment as you two?

With each day that passes by, you notice how both of your ideas of freedom were different- To the point they had to tell you the truth.

You aren't going out of there anymore. Not until you understand and truly appreciate the effort that Yuma goes through to find a way of freeing you- Of finding a victim, to be in your place.

They never told you about your previously intended role in the game, they thought you would be more terrified of following their instructions- And besides, it would be very distasteful to insinuate that the only reason that they care for you it's because of that code that was left unused- Which couldn't be more of a lie! They genuinely care for you!

…. But maybe a bit of tempering would help you see their side of the story, right?

It can't be that hard to modify some of the codes, the game is already broken anyway.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[yvainegelinemarie]

How The MLQC Bois React When You Do A ‘Baby/Cutesy Talk’ To Them.

🖤🦋🖤Idk if anyone has done this one yet so here it goes...

𝚨𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌: ✨ ALL my writing promts are gender inclusive and promote love, kindness and fun for all! 

✨I know that each and every one of our boys would love and support each and everyone of you and I hope that my readings portray that comforting, accepting and loving nature through and through~ 

✨And with that I hope you Spookies enjoy~~

☪ 𝕱𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒: Mr. Love Queen’s Choice

☪ 𝕽𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌:18+  Has mild talk about sex, mentions drinking/alcohol. 

☪ 𝕱𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖙 : Quick Read, bullet points 

𝕶𝖎𝖗𝖔|10/10

He eats the baby talk up!!! And does it right back to you with so much ease!

You guys have full on conversations with just the two of you using baby talk towards one another.

And you both have no problem doing it in public and annoying all your friends with how mushy and maybe a bit cringey you two can be.

Most of your baby talk conversations is the two of you whining back and forth about wanting food.

“Aww, Kiro can I pwlese haves a snack now? It’s been a few howers pwlesee?! 🥺🥺”

“Bwut what if I want a snack moreeeee?!”

You two stare at one another intensely with large, watery, puppy dog eyes and quivered lips.

Neither one of you is going down this easily over the remaining sweet candy that you have left. 

Kiro will ALWAYS use the cute talk on you when you are trying to keep him from eating sweets as Savin ordered. But the moment he brings out the cute voice and the puppy dog eyes you have lost.

It’s just so hard to not cave in to such a cute face!!! 

But it’s okay because he can’t resist yours either.

You and Kiro’s guttonness and cutesy manipulative ways towards one another can sadly only go on for so long before the fun comes to a painful hault.

It seems that you two have indulged in a little too much of the sweet treats, leaving you both to most likely take up a very simple yet painful month of dieting. 

Which is then filled to the max with pouty expressions and W words in hopes to just get one cookie from the bakery you passed on your daily run. 

𝓥𝖎𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖗|5/10

The world will NEVER know this side of Victor. 

He would probably throw himself off a bridge if anyone heard him use a cute voice towards you or anyone for that matter.

Even your future children and cute puppies will NEVER witness such a pure and child-like state with your stubborn CEO boyfriend. 

BUT surprisingly enough he has done it a few times.

You always tease him for it since he likes to make fun of you for when you try to use your cute voice to beg for pudding or a longer time for your deadlines. 

And although this tough looking CEO wouldn’t admit it, he likes seeing you pout your lip and add a W to every two words of sentence.

The one and ONLY time victor has ever used the cutesy voice on you was when you were really sick and asking for soup. 

He was caring for you for about a week now with little to no progress of your health improving. 

And aside for all the nagging you were getting from him for overworking yourself he was truly worried about you.

Now that your cold was coming to and end and with Victor in a tired state and comfortable enough to relieve himself of worry, along with being a bit flirtatious (probably from light sips of whisky he had been drinking to keep himself in motion) the cute words just kind of...slipped out...

You are in complete shock as your brain is trying to process what it just heard. 

Did Victor really just say “does my whittle dummy want some swoup?”

Trust me he is just as shocked as you are as he quickly escapes the bedroom with cheeks as red as a cherry.

He is so shocked in fact that it takes you a good three hours to get your soup so he could have some time to regain himself after the embarrassing encounter.

To this day he is still haunted by it as you taunt him every once in a while for it.

*poking his forehead lightly with playful giggles* “Aww, Come on Victor, don’t chu want to mwake me some swoup?” 

“If you have time to bother me then maybe I should consider raising your deadline to three days instead of the end of the week?” 

And with that you scurry out at lighting speed leaving Victor to wallow in his face palmed blushes. 

𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖊𝖓|8/10

Lucien LOVES the shit out of your cutesy talk.

BUT is probably the only one capable of not letting you get your way with it every time.

He loves to tease you not the other way around! 

His plans would be foiled if just your cute little voice defeated him.

He will however use a cute voice in comparison to yours. 

He likes when you say little words in a cute way like tank you instead of thank you or putting a w in pretty please 

and he will repeat them back to you the same way you said it. In a mocking yet flirtatious kind of way.

After a soft chuckle Lucien looks to you. “Pweety Pwlease?” He questions as you puff your cheeks at the fact that he doesn’t seem phased by your cuteness.

His eyes however, quiver with complete delight at just how cute you are to him.

Your Scorpio boi can only hide his feelings for so long and despite his calming expression his eyes alone can only hold what is truly running through his brain. 

There are times the Professor falls victim to your cute ways but they usually end in some more...explicit moments with you. 👀

You learn rather quickly that this seems to be one of the very few things you have in control over Lucien, unlike the multiple ways he has control over you. 

Though, your ways of manipulation are nothing to take lightly either. 

Lucien seems to be really focused with work right now. Staying up all day and all night eyes glued to books or his tablet filled with words that just give you a bit of a headache.

And despite not hating Lucien’s passion and hardworking energy towards his career you are now starting to realize that it’s been almost a month since you have been close and intimate with him.

So much so that you can’t even remember what his gorgeous body looks like under all that lab coat. 

And desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Setting yourself up into cutness overdrive and plopping yourself right down and in front of your boyfriends work and onto his lap 

along with a simple tilt of your head and eyes as wide as the moon doesn’t take long for all the blood to rush to you know where for Lucien. 

And when Lucien falls victim to you he FALLS. but he’s not a man who enjoys failure. (So be prepare for one intense and intimate ride.)

His sex drive and stamina is not something to question and if you sneeze just two octaves higher than normal 

you’ll most likely be attending his lecture with wet, shaking knees. 

𝕲𝖆𝖛𝖎𝖓|7/10

Also loves your baby talk and will say it back to you casually.

It is something that he only does around you though and doesn’t let anyone see.

Gavin is 100% those TikTok videos where the girls are recording their boyfriends cutesy talking to them and then instantly start talking in a deep voice the moment they see the camera. 😂

Will use it a lot when you aren’t feeling good and goes nutso bananas if you use it to reward him.( Kind of like a puppy. 😂)

“Was ywu a tood boyfwriend today? Wes. Wes you were.” *Gives Gavin happy head pats*

Gavin is also a huge sucker for your cute ways and will not hesitate to compliment you on your new hair accessory, the way you did your makeup, or how you added a new watch to match the bracelet he gave you.

He’s actually really good at paying attention to small details despite not being the romantic.

And with this you'll find him getting you cute treats and toys to cheer you up. 

And even if he truly doesn’t quite understand why you are so obsessed and squeal as loud as you can when you see pusheen he can’t say that he hates seeing how excited you get when admiring the cute and simple things of life.

One moment in particular that will always be engraved in Gavin’s head is seeing you hold the chubby grey cat plushie as much as you could in your arms

you were practically swallowed behind it, it was just as big as you were, if not more.

Seeing you walk through the store and doing your best to avoid falling over not daring to let go of the giant fluff ball of cuteness sent a pierce through Gavin’s heart.

How the hell can they be so cute?!? Was the only thought running through Gavin’s head the entire time. 

And once he regained his composure he helped guide you through the store by your arm. 

Sadly you had to part ways with the kitty plushie when a small child became just as in awe of it as you were and knowing she was the last one, handed it over kindly.

Seeing you a bit sad only put Gavin in a low mood before motivating him to an idea.

And with that; a few weeks later a new fluffy, plushie cat as big as your front door awaited the front of your apartment with a cute (is that letter blood stained???) note from Gavin. 

𝐒𝖍𝖆𝖜|-9000/10

Hatesssss! The baby talk with a passion and will not ever use it with you.

You made the mistake to use it on him once and the amount of awkwardness in his expression was overbearing.

The two of you just sat in your apartment blinking wide eyed at one another in silence.

Shaw broke the awkwardness first by just flat out saying “yeah, no.”

And with that you sulked back into your seat realizing that he didn’t seem phased at all by how cute you were.

And for a moment a bit ticked off. I am cute Shaw?! Don’t ignore me like that! UGH! He can be so nerve racking sometimes!!

Despite not being a big fan of the voice, after dating Shaw for a while you have come to find that he doesn’t mind you doing cute things with him like cuddling up together, squishing his cheeks, or rubbing your face on his ect.

Playing with his hair when he’s strumming away on his bass or latching onto his neck when his skateboard slips from under your feet are some of his favorite moments with you.

But the big eyes and pout get him ALL the time!

He will try his best not to be swayed by them especially when the tears seem genuine.

Shaw and your relationship is like when the older sibling hits the younger one and they start crying and the older one starts to freak out. That. That’s you and Shaw. 

𝕭𝖔𝖓𝖚𝖘|𝐒𝖍𝖆𝖜

When he gets drunk he uses the baby talk on you!

Will mumble on his words but tell you just how pretty and cute you are.

But you know that if you bring it up to him he will never drink around you again so you have to keep it as a little secret between you and your friends

You even have recordings and voice messages of him drunk off his ass and calling you just to say.

“Babbbyyyy, I mwissed ywu so muchhh!! Ywu are dhe pwrettiest girl I know and I luv ywu and I just want to kiss your cute wittle face!”

He’s also a very clingy and loving drunk who can’t seem to stop from covering your face in kisses.

It is most definitely a moment in time that you will happily remember for years and years. 

𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖓𝐤 𝖄𝖔𝖚!!! Spookies for giving this a read and for giving me the opportunity to share something fun and light hearted with you guys about all our favorite Evolvers. 

✨ I am hoping that more writings are to come to you guys from me but this is all a fairly new and a bit out of my comfort zone to do haha  so please be patient with me. 

✨ But please be open to comment feedback you may have through this post and In my asks on what you thought about this and if you guys enjoy more bullet point writings like this or would like more of a story style. I would love to hear what you guys have to say!!! 

[optimistic-dinosaur-nacho]

Annoying

Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Langauge, One Pick-Up line Summary: Ever since you got powers from a space mission, you’re stuck with your team who are figuring out how to get rid of your powers altogether. But your one teammate decides to plan things out to make a little money. It’s getting out of hand when he only annoys you.

A/N: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl​ is making me too obsessed with Johnny Storm. The perfect match, she says and I’m a little scared because I can see it. This is gonna be a disaster and we need more Johnny Storm on my list.

Not everyday someone wakes up with powers and always gets told that they make a room not heat up. Out of every super ability you can have, it was ice powers. How stupid is that? Sue had the best one, you wanted to be the one to leave a conversation so easily by disappearing. But it doesn’t seem to be great when you have to strip bare. 

Not your ideal of having, so you just had to go with your own. You were told so many times how much yours weren’t horrible. You couldn’t say it in front of Ben. Everyone knew why. 

A walk in Central park, you were relaxing in the summer air. Seeing dogs run down the grass, people on bikes riding down or people walk down. You can hear someone pant and call out to you. Turning, you see a man who was running. “Hey, can you help me with something?”

You look at him in confusion and nodded, “Yeah, sure-” He shoves his water bottle into your hand and he kneels down on one knee to tie his shoe, “Thanks.” You couldn’t help but grip the bottle in irritation. The man stands up with a sigh, “Thank you.” He takes his water bottle and opens the cap. You look at the bottle and your eyes widen.

The two of you stared at the bottle that was now frozen. He stared at you, shockingly, “You’re...” The man stuttered and you can’t stand making a crowd if he ever bursts out in excitement. With a turn of your heel, you walked away. “Wait!” You hear him shout, you reached your hand out and the ground becomes frozen as you sprint walk. You hear the man slip and fall so you take that chance to run. 

Heading back to the tower, you shoved your hands in your pockets and made your way through the doors, greeted by the front desk. The elevator dings and you see two people walk out. “Hey!” Johnny jumps at you, hiding something behind his back, he grins a little too big. “I have something, you might want to see.”

“I’m not in the mood, Pretty Boy. Now move before I give you a frost bite.”

You take a step to the side till Johnny mirrors your movement and holds his hand out. “Come on,” He tilts his head at you, “I promise you, you’re gonna love this.” You stare at him stupidly to have him just show you and leave you alone. He pulls it out and grins, “Ah, isn’t it cool?” You gawk at the horrendous toy. “It’s you!” He says.

You can see the blue outfit that your team wears with the number 5 on it. He looks at the toy, “And looks it’s got this!” He lifts up the arm and pushes a button. “Johnny, I-” You get cut off by a squirt of water hits the center of your face causing you to look deadpan. 

Johnny kept a smile on his face like a five year old. Your eyes were still closed as the water drips down your face, “Johnny?”

“Yeah?” He asks, waiting for the most fantastic response from you. You reach up to your face and wipe away the water, you sighed, “I don’t have water powers.” Johnny looks at the toy, “But ice is water.” His shoulders drop, “Come on, I’m trying here.”

“You’re not even trying, Johnny. These aren’t things we should be happy about. We’re freaks now. And I don’t want... a toy that looks like me,” You say, “Besides these won’t sell.” Johnny lowers the toy and smirks, “Well, I saw these in every store. By tomorrow, we’ll be like the Kardashians.”

You roll your eyes and slowly thought of something. “Can I see the toy, I actually think these are cool.” Johnny hands you the toy with a cocky grin. You smiled at the toy and your hands grow colder. Johnny’s face drops, “Woah. Hey! That’s the prototype!”

The toy began to freeze up like an icicle and you dropped it on the ground, shattering it to pieces. You peer up at him, sadly, “Oops. Cold hands.” You hear the elevator ding and that gave you the chance to walk in like nothing happened. Johnny stood there like you just insulted his mom.

With a grin, you waved at him like a high school girl and fake grin in the world as the elevator doors close.

The next day, you hadn’t seen Johnny since morning. Sue and Reed were already gone and left on a date. Ben was in his own room while you sat in the kitchen, eating whatever you made from the fridge. You hear the phone ring and you made your way to it and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Miss L/N. I have a package for you.” You furrowed your brows to your doorman in the lobby. You never ordered a package, but if it was another of those fanart from kids, you couldn’t refuse. ���Alright. I’ll be down there in a bit.” You hung up and made your way to the elevator. Pushing the Lobby floor, you waited in the small room, stopping to let a fellow person into the small room with you.

His small grin winked at you as you forced one onto your face. He shivers, “Brr. It’s a little cold in here, is it?” He asked. You rolled your eyes at him and sighed, “Maybe next time don’t wear short sleeves,” You say. The man looked over his shoulder at you, awkwardly. 

You obviously were the problem but you didn’t care one bit. 

Once the doors open, the man was the first one out and you met up with your doorman and he handed you the small box. “Ah, here you go, Miss.” You nod once at him and hear someone laugh.

“Look who it is. DQ Blizzard. What’s got you down here?” Johnny asks, leaning on the desk. You turn away and headed straight for the elevator. “Listen, Pretty Boy. I’m not in a good mood.” Johnny trots behind like a child, “When are you not in the mood? Look, I know yesterday with your own figurine was... too much. But in all honestly, it was sick.”

You turn toward the opens doors, “Keep talking, I’ll make you into a popsicle. Now shut up.” Johnny quirks his brows up as a ‘Got it’ and never spoken again. You two stood there in silent, finally being in a peaceful room with one of the most annoying people on the planet.

The elevator opens to a woman and she comes in with a small grin. Johnny nods at her and she faces away from you two. The woman sighs, “Strange. You guys feel hot and cold?” She asked.

Johnny glances over at you before turning to the woman, “No. Not at all,” He spoke. Seconds, you could see Johnny steam up a little. You hear the woman let out a gasp, “Didn’t they fix the vents last time? Whoo. It’s hot,” You watch as the woman began to take off her suit jacket and Johnny watched her slowly. You found a way to stop him, kicking him in the shin causing him to yelp.

The elevator dings and the woman leaves glistening with sweat and the doors close once again. You shook your head slowly, “You’re disgusting.” Johnny shoves his hands in his pockets and grins. “Come on. Enjoy it. You were hot, too, admit it.”

“Actually I wasn’t. Maybe try a little harder because you can’t get to me that easily,” You say, leaving through the doors once they reached your level. Johnny followed behind with a grin. “Oh, come on. I get to you all the time. Even when you’re 0 degrees below, you still heat up in the cheeks. Admit it, Snowflake.”

You turn around, “Don’t call me Snowflake.”

“Hey, you call me Pretty Boy, what’s wrong with Snowflake?” He asks, he glances at the box in your arms, “I wonder what’s in the box.” He smirks at you in a bad way that gets you thinking. What was this jerk planning? You ripped the box open and saw plastic wrap. You pulled it open and saw what looked like Johnny. As a toy.

“What the hell is this? Did you get me this?” You asked, Johnny glance into the box again and so did you. A letter inside made you read it instantly. 

Push the button on the back.

You look at the doll and pushed the button on its back. “Enjoy your new room.” You furrowed your brows and glared at Johnny. You raced to your room and pushed your door open, your mouth gapes at the scene. “What the hell, Johnny!” He comes in casually with his hand in his pockets. “What? I actually like it.”

“I don’t! Everything is...” You turned to the bed sheets that had his face on it, “You!” Toys of Johnny in his Fantastic Four suit were all over the place. Your curtains were blue with the number four on it. Johnny even added your figurine around the room.

“Where the hell did you get this stuff?” You asked, pacing around the room to gather all the merchandise. Johnny looks around like a proud guy. “Well, you know people get creative with us being top trending people, and I am the hottest guy here while you... hottest girl on the team as well, they made things for us. And I had a few people I know. It’s an early birthday gift.”

“My birthday was a month ago.”

Johnny pauses, lifting a finger up, “Okay... late birthday gift. But, hey...” He smiles like a child, pointing at you, “You are my biggest fan.” You grab the pillow case that had his face on it and threw it at him. “You’re so annoying! I hate you!” YOu shout. 

Johnny laughs and catches it. “Come on! It’s amazing! It took me hours.” You throw another object at him and he blocks them with the pillow. “Woah! Hey!” You throw more things, “You! Are! So! Annoying!” You say, you began to run over to him till he takes your face in his hands and your lips crash onto his. Your fighting stops and your hands go over his. Your lips relaxed on his and he pulls away.

You open your eyes to see his blue hues, his grin tugging his lips. “What?” You asked. Johnny still rested his palms on your cheeks, “You’re as red as I am on fire.” You stomp on his foot causing him to hiss and reach for his foot. “I hate you,” His back hunched over to grab his foot with his hand till you kiss him again and his head lifts up to kiss you back again. 

The kiss lasted for another second and you pulled away. 

“Now clean up my room. I expect it to go back to normal,” You say. Johnny looks around the room to see your obsession with him and it made him grin. “I think it is normal to have a room filled with myself all over. That bed sheet isn’t gonna be the only Johnny in bed.”

“Ugh, you need to work on your lines.”

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[legoshi-plz]

Confession (Bill x Reader)

Summary: Bill has an obsession. Bully!Bill x Lynx! Reader.

Warnings: Cursing. Bullying. That’s about it.

A/N: This was a requested fic. I don’t really care for Bill’s character but this was extremely fun to write 😁

///////

You once again found yourself in detention. This was the third time this month, which had to be a new record for you. You angrily scrubbed the cafeteria tray as you seethed in hatred at a certain Bengal Tiger that landed you in here.

Bill and his goddamn personal vendetta against you that had haunted your life for the past 4 years now. The worse part was that you had done absolutely nothing to him to warrant such a grudge. One day he simply decided to hate you the same way he simply decided to make sure every day of your life was more difficult thanks to him.

It had all started in middle school. Actually the story dates back before middle school. It started when you were born.

You were a [Y/C] Lynx, a pretty rare form of bobcat. In actuality, all forms of Bobcats were rare in this city. But that never hindered you as a child nor made you feel different. You were happy and always smiling. People always told you how you had such a beautiful smile and eyes that were even more captivating.

“She’ll be quite the heartbreaker when she gets older,” your mother and her friends would joke all the time.

You had friends in abundance in elementary school and in middle school it seemed the trend would continue. Until you got your first boyfriend. He was an ordinary leopard, sweet as could be and always made you laugh. You were in heaven for all of maybe two weeks when Bill started his onslaught.

It started off as snickering behind your back. Then he began enlisting your so-called friends in his teasing. Bill was pretty popular given not only his status as a Tiger but also his ability to make girls swoon, even Herbivores, so it was all too easy for him to get your friends to turn against you. The two of you had classes together but you’d never said a word to him. It didn’t matter, he picked on you anyway.

He gradually moved on to spreading nasty rumors, writing cruel things in your notebook, and even tripping you up in the hallway. Even your friends who weren’t ensnared by his charm began to steer clear of you. Your then-boyfriend called it quits so that Bill would ease off of him as well. You started to feel incredibly dejected, going from having quite the outgoing personality to being withdrawn and quiet.

And that continued until high school. You put all your eggs in the basket that high school would be better. It had to be. You’d even gotten accepted into the highly coveted Drama club, a big step towards you getting over your shyness. You finally had something to look forward to in terms of school.

All that was crushed however, when Bill sauntered into the club’s Freshman orientation. You felt physically sick at the thought of being subjected to his torment for another three years.

At first it had started to be no big deal. You stayed out of his way and he pretended that you weren’t there. You made a couple of friends again and were even doing well in the club. As well as you could at least while trying your best to not be seen.

And the President of the club at the time (a senior Antelope that was the Cherrington Heartthrob) offered you a part in the upcoming play. It wasn’t a main role but it was considerable for a Freshman.

“T-there must be some sort of mistake,” you said quietly as the remainder of the group either gushed or groaned over the roles assigned to them.

“No mistake, you’re easily one of the prettiest girls in this Theater, maybe even in the school. I’d be an idiot not to give you the role of the ‘Fairest Maiden’,” he said casually as he walked away. You turned around to see Bill staring at you from across the room. He looked livid.

Bill never passed up on an opportunity to let you know how ugly you were, calling you a “hideous disgrace to the feline community.” For someone like you to play a part of beauty? It had to be a cruel joke.

And so that was the straw that broke the tigers back. Somehow, it was even worse than before, his contempt for you hidden behind his Nice Guy persona. Nobody would ever believe half the things he’d done or said to you, not that you would tell anybody. Wardrobe malfunctions (that just so happen be in the form of someone ripping your clothes to shreds), bumping past you and nearly knocking you down, trashing your locker, loosening the bolts on your desk/chair. Anything he could think of to make your life a living Hell, he did it.

Which brought you to your current situation. You were currently washing dishes in detention yet again because somebody had ripped the roses from every rose bush in the school’s courtyard, and haphazardly stuffed them in your desk so that everyone could see. Before you could even enter the classroom to witness Bill’s handywork in the flesh, you were called into the Principal’s office and sentenced to two weeks detention. Typical.

“Well, well, well what do we have here,” you knew that voice anywhere.

“What do you want, Bill?” You asked quietly, not bothering to turn around.

“You just can’t seem to stay out of trouble can you?” Yoy could hear the smirk in his voice but you were determined not to let him get you riled up so you remained silent.

He walked up besides you and slapped the tray you were currently washing out of your hands. The harshness of his actions caused you to gasp, frozen in place.

“I asked you a question,” he growled, grabbing your arm and spinning you around to face him. Now you were actually beginning to panic. It was already late in the evening and you were here all alone. Bill had never physically hit you before but there was a first time for everything.

“L-leave me alone, Bill,” you craned you neck to look up at his face, now glowing in anger and disgust. He was always so angry around you, as if your mere existence was an offense to his own.

“And what are you going to do if I don’t?” He barred his fangs at you and you felt your eyes go wide in horror. Would he really attack you? There was no one around or near enough to hear you scream. You were an idiot for thinking you were safe from any threats on campus just because you were a Carnivore. You should have been more cautious like a Herbivore and maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation.

“I... I... I can’t do anything about it,” you whimpered in defeat. His grip on your wrists tightened.

“Of course you can’t. Poor little Y/N, too weak to protect herself. Thinks all she has to do is bat those pretty little eyes and guys will come running. Well where are they now huh?” Bill roared and you felt tears well in your eyes.

“Bill, please stop,” you whined softly. Bill caught your gaze and held it for a long moment before you saw something in him finally snap.

“Fuck it,” Bill murmured to himself before latching his lips onto your own. You wanted to recoil immediately but you were once again frozen in place.

It seemed that his instincts took over because in a matter of seconds he had picked you up and placed you on the edge of the sink all without breaking the kiss. His hands went to your waist to pull you closer before he jerked back, pushing you away. He had a look of shock on his face as if you had slapped him.

He was panting, his eyes filled with horror at what he’d done. He immediately turned and fled without another word.

////////

The next few days almost didn’t feel real. It was like you were trapped in a weird fever dream that dragged on endlessly. You might have even believed you had imagined the whole thing if not for Bill’s sudden change in behavior. He went from endless borderline harassment to avoiding you like the plague. It was actually.... pleasant? If you had known a kiss was all it took to get him off your back, you would have done it a long time ago.

One week bled into another and you foolishly let your guard down. You were walking back to your room from detention when someone grabbed you and pulled you into a dark empty archway. It took your eyes a moment to adjust to the lack of lighting but one look at the striped hand clutching your bicep and you knew who was behind this.

“Let go of me!” You began to struggle against his hold but Bill refused to release you.

“We need to talk. Or rather, I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen,” Bill sounded serious, more serious than usual at least, so you stopped struggling and actually listened.

“I have a girlfriend, a Tigress, the way nature intended-

“Look if this is about the other night, it never happened okay? It was a mistake, it didn’t mean anything,” Bill slammed his other hand against the wall besides you effectively caging you and shutting you up.

“How could you say that?” He growled, “ How can you sit there and say it meant nothing?”

You finally gained the courage to look up at him and immediately regretted it. His face was a mix between pure fury and utter anguish. You began to seriously doubt if you would actually make it out of this alive.

“You just don’t get it do you? How hard this is for me!” He spat. Anger began to boil in you. How dare he claim your very existence was hard on him when he had made every day of you life for years a living hell.

“I think about you night and fucking day! You’re always fucking there, acting so goddamn innocent. Acting like you don’t see anyone. Well I’m tired of being goddamned invisible!” He was heaving in malice but his eyes gave him away. They were desperate, hurt.

“B-Bill.... I don’t... understand.”

“There you go again, acting clueless. Do I have to spell it out for ya?” He leaned in closer and you could feel his breath fan your face, “I can’t get you out of my head. Never could, but since that kiss? Fuck, Y/N, I want you. Bad. Always have, only difference in now I don’t think I can control it. I’ve tasted perfection and I’m not going back.”

You were so stunned that all you could manage to do was stare. Before you was the boy who hated your guts, and now he was trying to make some sort of fear mongered confession? This had to be a joke.

“Y-you can’t be serious.... Bill how many times have you called me ugly? Or dumb? Or weak?” You gasped.

“I was lying. Every time. You’re gorgeous, and everyone knows it. I’m surprised you don’t, with the way these losers throw themselves at you.” His face was inching closer to your own.

“Everyone hates me Bill, thanks to you. No one is throwing themselves at me,” you lean away in disgust.

“Yeah because I was protecting you. You really wanna waste your time on scum leopards when you could have the King of the Jungle?”

“I don’t wa-” he cut you off by crushing his lips to yours. This kiss was nothing like the one from Detention . He had confidence about him, using every skill he acquired over the years to show off. In any other instance, you would have been swooning. But this was Bill, your bully, and you weren’t going to let yourself fall for his antics.

“You feel that? I can make you feel like that all the time. I can make you happy, so freaking happy. Just give me a chance,” his breathing was husky as he broke the kiss.

“Bill this is wrong. You’ve picked on me for years-”

“I know, fuck. I know alright, but you can’t really blame me. I had to get your attention somehow, I had to get you to notice me. C’mon, you like me too. That’s why you’re always staring at me, making sure to skip around me. You’ve been playing this game for while,” He couldn’t honestly be this self-absorbed and psychotic could he?

“I was afraid of you, idiot! I was trying to stay out of your way so you’d leave me alone!”

“Bullshi-”

“Bill!? Is that you man? What are you doing over there?” A voice in the distance (one of his friends, no doubt) called over and he unknowingly let your arm go. You didn’t wait a second as you bolted from under him, running away as if your life depended on it.

You didn’t stop running until you got to your dorm, immediately getting ready for bed without a word to anyone. Sleep evaded you, of course, the very time you needed to escape your thoughts the most. They kept going back to a certain tiger.

Had he really been pining after you all these years? Was he seriously so fucked up he thought torturing you was a way to your heart? Was this all apart of some elaborate scheme to humiliate even further?

You couldn’t be sure as the same questions played on loop through your mind. The only thing you could be sure of was you’d never been kissed like that before. Your lips still tingled defiantly with the ghost of his touch. You wanted to despise him. You had despised him. And nothing about that had changed except now you knew what a good kisser he was.

You groaned and buried your face into your pillow. You needed to get him out of your mind. Years of abuse couldn’t be wiped away in one evening.

So why didn’t the butterflies in your stomach go away?

///////////

AN: I wasn’t sure what I wanted the endgame to be so I just ended here.

[dreamylyfe-x]

Loving on 10x12: Gallavich!

I don’t think I have much that’s unique to say, but I really have to talk about how good that episode was. On strong community advice I was trying to keep my expectations low. I loved the advance scene... like loved it. But I tried to keep myself in line and decided to be ok with no vows and very little actual wedding stuff. Like maaaaybe they’d do that. Or maybe it would all be hi-jinks and the wedding would be in a montage and nothing much would happen. 

But then it was SO MUCH good stuff. Which I want to record now. 

* First of all, so much good intra-Gallagher interaction. I feel like this is what the show does best and they do it so little, but it’s always great to see them all together fighting for a common goal. And it was awesome that the goal was a) stop Mickey from committing homicide in broad daylight and b) get Mickey and Ian married. 

* We are paying attention to the fact that Ian is bipolar. I will come back to that. 

* For the people who wanted to know how the wedding was being paid for, we have an answer: Crime. (I’m ok with this.) 

* I love the shot as Carl leaves the bedroom and pushes the door closed behind him, and we see Ian pulling off Mickey’s towel just as it closes. (The grab that proceeded it was nice, too.) 

* I’m easy: I’ve fully bought into Sandy and Debbie. I do not like Julia. 

* Oh the Sandy tip, it honestly does make sense to me that Mickey would have developed a bond with his lesbian cousin in his super homophobic family. And again: Mickey needs a friend. 

* Ok. Complaint. I don’t love the hitting? It’s just not for me. And I’m always like “Ok, it’s the show, this is the dynamic” and then I end up all “But... did it have to happen twice?” or “Did he have to walk UP the stairs to hit him?”

* I do not mind the biting. Feral is feral.

* Because I recall seeing some people being annoyed that Ian said Mickey was prone to murder, I just want to point out that Mickey is pretty prone to murder.

* The second scene with Mickey handcuffed by the washer is one of my favourite scenes of the season. (Wedding scenes are on a different metric.) Kinda drunk and literally being kept on a chain, making a list of what are probably some of Terry’s lesser crimes against him (but just so... petty. So cruel. So very much the acts of a man who just doesn’t care about anyone on any level and must ENJOY making his kids miserable. He has what? Five kids? That’s a lot of halloween candy to steal.) I don’t think Mickey talks that much about what Terry’s done to him to anyone, so seeing him innumerate these events to a relative, who knows all about them, just moved me. And then the “I love you. I LOVE you.” It sounded so similar to the one from 5x12. Like this is essential information Ian needs. 

* I also love how Mickey just gives up, honestly. I love it because it means everyone else has to step in to give him what he wants and I’m glad he got to have that experience, right down to Ian complimenting the chairs. 

* So much of the time Ian looks so adult and so far from the Ian from the first five seasons, but several times in this episode he was shot in a way where I could really see younger Ian in his face and I loved that. 

* Lip, suggesting a plan where Ian might have to watch Mickey marry a woman might not be your most sensitive moment. 

* The bow tie scene. Mickey is a hard no on kids. Ian wants them. Mickey immediately becomes a soft yes. That’s on brand. 

* They have gay friends! I’m not even talking about the Gay Jesus kids, but the people who turned up before that to make things awkward. Good to see. 

* I would not describe myself as a Debbie fan, but I really loved her this episode. Like it’s almost an “all is forgiven” amount of love. 

* Speaking of Gay Jesus, I was glad to see Geneva make a comeback, since it appeared that she’d completely abandoned him. And it made sense. I was thinking when he was on Grindr -- shouldn’t someone notice he’s Gay Jesus? Shouldn’t Bryon have, if he’s so politically informed? 

Ok. The wedding. So much has been said so well, but I need to obsess about a few little things. 

* Ian chose “At Last”. God. It made me feel how much he’s wanted this and for how long. Honestly, even with the years they were apart, did Ian really ever want anyone else? Really? 

* Franny is wonderfully accurate in her sloppy flower girl work. That’s what it’s like when the flower girl is four. 

* We got the vows. And they’re the traditional ones, which I thought was perfect. It’s hard for me to picture either of them doing more personal vows in front of people.  

* I thought Cam was so good here. Ian was so intent and he had that edge of emotion peaking through. And for both of them, I felt like they were saying these words everyone knows, but really making sure the other person heard them. And here's also where I come back to the fact that they uncharacteristically talked about Ian's meds earlier in the episode -- because it really echoes here. They've done for poorer and they've done sickness. And they did it as KIDS, so they really understand what they're promising each other and that just GOT to me. 

* I know I have so much company here, but Ian looks SO young when he asks "Now?" and then kisses Mickey like someone is about to take him away from him. And Mickey looks... happy. Eff you, Terry. He's happy. It's so beautiful. 

* Ian lifting Mickey's hand up as they walk down the aisle reminds me of the end of a boxing match and I love it, because this has been a fight, people. They fought for it, hard, and they emerged victorious. 

* Ok. So. The dance. @fiona-fififi wrote such a great, long piece about this and I will only be a dim echo here, but it was my favourite moment. Wedding stuff gets a different metric and of the wedding stuff, this was the part that got to me the most. They're married. Mickey is dancing with Sandy. Ian and Debbie (the only person to ever be a hero for wearing a wedding dress to a wedding that is not her own) are sitting together and Ian does something so vulnerable. He knows he's the kid who misses Monica the most. He knows he feels the loss in a way the others don't. And it makes sense to me that he says he misses her to Debbie, who has the best chance of getting it -- but it's still a risk. It's a confession and Debbie does what he needs her to do and tells him Monica would have loved this. Which is true. She might have RUINED it, but she would have loved it. She gives Ian permission to be sad, to grieve. And he lets the feelings come up and then he does the thing that always gets to me the MOST with these two. The kisses are great. They have some epic ones. But Gallavich hugs just rip my heart out. They just cling to each other, every time. There is nothing casual about it. And when Ian goes to "dance with his husband" he's actually going to just melt into him. And they bury their faces against each other, and he holds Mickey and they sway it's just... perfect. The song nails it. This, more than anything, makes me feel the love this show managed to create with these two. Which I believe on a level I rarely do. They fit together, they belong together and they really, really earned this. Cue gasping sobs. 

* I do not understand how it's light out when they leave. Does this fit with Senior Hour? But ok. Let's go with it. The car was a great piece to give Liam and Frank, they look fantastic in their tuxes and I love how Mickey kinda swings into the car the same way he could swing around under the bleachers. There's so much joy in him. 

* The only thing I'm going to say about Lip is the Tami deserves some kind of medal. 

* I wrote a whole post about the tattoo, and we first see it when he's out of the shower, but I'm really not kidding about this. The tattoo was something I spent WAY too much time speculating about in my head and I thought it was weird that an actor they once shot wearing only a guitar was constantly so covered up. Plus, probably should have shown  with the prison tanks, given the original placement. I support the retconning of this because it keeps the gesture without it being a major distraction. 

But that is NOT where that tattoo was!

Now it's over his heart. Awww. 

ANYWAY. I loved this. I'm so glad I got on this ship. It's so rare you get something like this in a fandom. So. Don't screw it up, Shameless! Only have to maintain for 12 more episodes. That's all I ask. 

I hope it's not too much. 

[advicewithkali]

Mistake, Maybe (Chapter One Draft)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s up guys, today we’re visiting Woodhils University to surprise a girl name Aubrey and her friend, who say they’re my biggest fans!” David sayid as he yelled into the camera.

He then turns his camera off and holds it in his left hand.

“David, how big of a fan are we exactly talking?” Jason inquires while chewing on green mint-flavored gum.

“I have to show you guys the video she sent me on twitter, I think she’s literarily my biggest fan. Check it out!” He said as he rummages through the slender small pocket of his black jean.

“You too, Jeff! You’re not going to believe this!” He yelled excitedly.

Jeff trudged over to the duo reluctantly, not really interested in the video David was about to show them or the visiting the university at all. David then pulled out his phone and opened the Twitter app, immediately going to his DMs. He scrolled through the messages for a second, before he landed on the video.

“Are you guys ready for this, it’s literally insane.” He said with pure excitement in his voice.

“David, come on just play it already,” Jason responded.

“Okay, okay, give me a sec.” He said as he turned his phone horizontally so that all three of them could see the video clearly. David then clicked on the video and let it play.

“My name is Aubrey and uh-sorry I’m a little nervous and excited uh.” She said as she began to fidget on her wooden chair. “Oh, my God David! Please, please, please come visit my school! I’m literally your biggest fan.” She abruptly blurted out quickly and loudly.

“She really is!” A female voice yelled in the background before quickly coming into the view of the camera.

“She’s literally obsessed with you, David. It’s bad. It’s so bad that we even have a “David Jar” in our dorm room. Anytime she mentions your name- mind you which is like every other sentence she has to put a dol- “She said before her explanation was interrupted by a slim hand muffling her speech.

“Sophie, shut up! Don’t say all of that shit. He’ll think I’m crazy! I’m trying to get him to visit us not run away, stupid!” Audrey yelled in slight frustration.

“Heh, sorry David uh, sometimes Sophie just says too much. Ha, you guys know how it is.” She said slightly nervous again as muffled noises began to come out from behind Audrey's hand.

“But anyway, David if you would come to visit me-us at Woodhill University dorm room 274 I would literally die, well no- but yes, okay gotta go bye!” She said yelled slightly frazzled and waved bye to the camera, along with a still muffled Sophie.

As the screen faded black, David turned around to face Jason and Jeff. “Can you guys believe that shit?” David asked still feeling ecstatic.

“David, I then she might be a little- off.” Jason trailed off and stopped chewing his gum.

“Ugh, Jason. Jeff please, please say you’re siding with me on this.” He said looking towards Jeff.

“Hell no, David. I’m siding with Jason on this one. You go there and you’re dead.” He said not sounding entertained with this idea.

“Well, if the two and the rest of the guys go, then I won’t be alone, no chance. Besides this will make some sick vlog footage! Jason told me it wouldn’t!” He said trying to convince them.

“It would but not if our lives at risk, David,” Jason said sounding slightly worried. “It’ll be fine. We’ll call up everyone and we’ll be all set. Nothing’s going to happen, Jason.”

Jason let out a deep sigh, “Alight, David. Let’s do this.

“Yes!” David said sounding thrilled. “What about you Jeff?” David said looking in his diffraction once again.

“I’m gonna pass. I don’t want to get murdered or risk going to prison again.” He said as he started to walk away.

“Wait, Jeff! If you don’t go how will you ever get that girlfriend, you said you wanted.” David said knowing that he had reeled Jeff back into his plan.

Jeff stopped abruptly in his steps, regretting a few months ago when he told the whole squad that he had been looking to find a serious relationship because now it was backfiring on him.

“Come on Jeff, at least one of those girls had to be your type!” Jason teased as he continued to chew the gum in his mouth.

Jeff smirks small as he turns around quickly, “Really, Jason? I pegged them more of your type don’t you like them young.” Jeff said as he was alluding to his tumultuous relationship with notorious Youtuber Trisha Paytas. They were twelve years apart.

“What?!” Jason yelled trying to act as if he didn’t know what Jeff was referring too. “That’s what you’re going to do old man? Act like you have no clue what or WHO I’m referring too.” He said as he chuckled.

“Of course, I do! I just don’t want to think about the past at all.” Jason said as he tried to make up an excuse.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell the truth Jase, is it because you don’t want Tris- “He said before he was cut off by a series of objections coming from Jason.

“No, no, no! Don’t say that name! I don’t want any more drama!” He pleaded. Jason, then took his eyes off of Jeff and glanced to his right and saw that David was filming their whole conversation.

“No, David! Do not put that in! Delete it!” He screamed as he waved his hands in front of the camera trying to block it from recording any further.

David just giggled as he blocked all of Jason’s attempts to shield his camera. “Are you kidding that clip was too good not to put in! Think of the views Jason, the views!” He said jokingly.

“David, no. I’m going through this all over again with her, I’m begging you not to put that clip in.” Jason said feeling exhausted.

David stopped moving and lowered his camera as he pondered for a bit. A few moments later, he began to speak, “How about this?” He said with a smirked.

Jason, looked into David’s brown eyes, “Really, you’re betting on my life right now.” He said knowing too well that, that statement followed by that smirk never meant a good thing. Jason knew from the past that meant that David was thinking, plotting really, and it sucked to be on the other end.

Jason let out a slow sigh, “What is it?” He spoke in a defeated manner.

“Nothing, much. It’s nothing much just two small things.” He said.

Jason gave him a look of disbelief knowing that when David meant small, he really meant large and at times very extreme.

Jeff moved closer to the duo as he began to take interest in something regarding the vlog for the first time today.

“The first part includes Zane- “

“Oh God, I’m screwed!” Jason shouted out.

Jeff’s left eyebrow raised as he took more interest in the situation unfolding before him.

David laughed as he continued to speak, “So Zane has to come out of this party without hurting himself, breaking anything, or hurting someone else.” He said.

“I’m doomed,” Jason said weakly.

Jeff chuckled as Jason began to panic waiting for David to announce the second part to his “wicked” plan.

“The second part involves Jeff,” David said laughing harder as he observed Jeff’s facial expression.

“Me? Why the hell am I involved in this!?” He questioned loudly.

“I’m glad you asked Jeff, because if you don’t find a genuine connection with a girl tonight then I guess Jason will be on Drama alert this week.

“Yeah, and how are you going to be able to tell if I made a genuine connection or not? You gonna stalk me like your little super fan?” He said in a brazen tone.

“Ha, no. I’ll ask you some questions, see if they add up and if they don’t well… It’s Killer Keemstar for Jason.” He said as he tried to imitate Keemstar.

“Wow, David. You’re crazier than I thought. You sure you aren’t part of the Slovakian mob or something?” Jeff asked.

“Nope, just doing it for some content.” He said casually.

“Jeff please tell me you got this. Please.” Jason begged again. “What am I saying, of course, you do. Look at you, the real problem is Zane. I’ve got to call him!”

“Don’t worry Jason, I’ve got your back.” He said but for the first time in years, he wasn’t confident about the words that came out of his mouth. After all, it had been so long since he’s made a genuine connection with anyone, let alone a girl. He’s a thirty-year-old man, with a lonely apartment, a dog, and a group of wilds friends, could he really get real and open with someone at this point in his life? Let alone in one night?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What’s up guys, so the squad and I are right outside of Aubrey’s door and we’re about to knock.” He whispered slightly as he filmed the members of the vlog quad, which insisted on Zane, Heath, Mariah, Jason, Erin, Carly, Toddy, Jason, Jonah, and Jeff. Then turned the camera back on the door room, 247.

David smiled brightly as he began to knock on the door. The door instantly and swung open, slamming into the bedroom wall. The squad was greeted with the sounds of loud squeals and jumping up and down coming to a brown skin girl with dark brown long hair and a slim thick body and a bright smile from an olive-colored girl with long black hair, dark brown eyes, and freckles.

“You must be Aubrey, right?’ David said with his well-known smile. “Yes. Yes! That’s me!” She said as she switched from jumping up and down to bouncing on the heels of her feet.

“Can I- Can I hug you, David?” She asked.

“Of course!” He yelled as he pulled her in for a hug. The pair hugged for a few moments before David pulled away.

“And you must me Sophie?” He asked.

“It’s Sophia actually everyone usually calls me Sophie or Soph. I really don’t care which one you call me by I’ll still respond.” She said chucking.

“I think you guys should come in before Audrey explodes. Plus, it’s Taco and Tequila Tuesdays and you don’t want to be outside for that.” She warned.

“Mhm, that sounds so good right now!” Zane yelled from the back of the group.

“Zane!” Jason grumbled under his voice as he elbowed Zane on the left side of his ribcage.

“Right, right. I forgot.” He responded back as he retreated slightly from the conversation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jeff’s P.O.V

David was the first one to walk in the dorm room. Followed by everyone else. I was hesitant to walk in. I can’t really say I feel comfortable being on a college campus filled with people- kids about a decade my senior. And David really expects me to find a genuine connection with one of them. He’s clearly lost his mind.

As I walked into the cramped and small room, I noticed how differently each side was decorated. On the right was a very bright, pink, and girly side, it had to be Aubrey’s side of the room. It was pretty much like any other college dorm you’d see. While the other side was decorated in an alternative way. It was darker and had stacks of books, CDs and records, and band posters. I wonder who’s side it was. Not, Sophia’s. It doesn’t seem to match her personality.

I continued to analyze the room as everyone gathered around Aubrey’s bed. I then spotted a small shuffle out of the side of my left eye. I looked closer and saw that it was a girl. She was stunning. She had the most beautiful smooth brown skin and pillow-soft curls. I continued to stare in her direction as I observed her reading a book.

I guess I stared too long because she looked up in my direction before quickly turning away, huddling down in her book further. I was taken back slightly; I had never had that reaction before from someone. I guess she was just shy. I didn’t really know but I wanted too.

I kept looking in her direction a few moments longer, hoping she would look up at me again. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen as I was knocked out of my trance by Toddy when he elbowed me in my right ribcage.

“Dude, you alright? You zoned out for a while there.” He questioned. “Yeah…. I’m fine.” I said back, still not fully paying attention to him.

“Well then come on, Audrey’s about to answer some questions and prove that she’s David’s number one fan!” He yelled at the top of his lungs. Before he could move, he glances back at the girl in the corner and saw her twitch slightly and move closer into the corner as she turned her back towards him.

With that, I finally joined the rest of my friends. I didn’t sit.  I told everyone that I felt better standing but in reality, I was uncomfortable being in this room. Not only was it a room for college kids but something was very off about the vibes in this room.

I left my train of thought to try and pay attention to what was going on before me. I tried my hardest to be entertaining and put on the “Jeff character” but I was so distracted by the girl in the corner. Every second I spent in this room I just wanted to turn my head and peek over at her even if it was for just a second.

“Okay, okay! Next question, “What sport did members of the vlog squad play that eventually lead to a kiss between Heath and me? I heard David ask.

“No way she’s going to get this one!” I heard Heath scream.

“Baby, it’s a wrap you ain’t getting this one!” Zane yelled in agreement.

“If she gets this one, I’m done I’m just- I can’t!” Toddy yelled right beside me.

I then looked up at Aubrey and saw a look of determination on her face followed a smirk and small glimmer of some something I couldn’t put my finger on, in her eyes.

“Beer Bottle Frisbee.” She said with all the confidence in her voice. Her answer was met with extremely loud cheers. As everyone was distracted, I turned my head quickly in the direction the mysterious girl was sitting and saw her getting up. I immediately turned my head back around, this time looking down in hopes of seeing where she was off too.

To my surprise, she ended up leaving without anyone noticing. While everyone was still cheering, I took this as an opportunity to go speak to her. I waited a few seconds before I slipped out of the room quietly and followed the direction, I saw her go in.

As I walked down the hallway, I saw piles of garbage, toilet paper streamers, and drunk guys getting loud in the hallway. This gave me even more of an incentive to find this girl. She doesn’t seem like the type to be safe in this environment.

I followed her for what seemed like an hour. I made sure to keep my distance. I didn’t want her to know that I was following her. I guess I could throw that thought right out the window because this is when she completely stopped walking.

“P-please stop following me.” She said with her back still turned to me.

I just continued to stare at her for a second before I spoke, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just wanted to talk to you.” I said, trying to find the right words to say to her. For some reason, my confidence with this girl was swaying.

“Why?” She mumbled lowly.

I walked closer to her until I was a few inches away from her.

“I can’t really come up with an excuse right now. There really shouldn’t be an excuse to talk to a pretty girl, so I won’t say one. I’ll tell the truth. There’s- there’s something about you something different that drew me into you and I just wanted to get to know you.” I said as I smiled.

“I’m Jeff,” I said as I held my hand out and continued to smile.

She turned around fully after I said my name. I could’ve sworn I stopped breathing for a second as I took in her full appearance. I felt wrong in away because I knew she was too young, but I pushed those thoughts aside because this opportunity was too perfect to miss.

I continued to hold out my hand and smile but her facial expression never changed, and she never made and moves to shake my hand. I looked at trying to predict what she would do. She then began to shuffle on her feet and moved her arms to wrap around her body.

“I know.” She whispered lowly. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to her reactions. She seemed so scared and guarded.

“Uh, so you watch the vlogs then?” I asked trying to then of something to get relive some of the awkwardness.

“Um, yeah sometimes. Mostly when I have free time form classes and studying.” She said with a little more pep as she looked up at me.

I smiled small. She finally said something more than one word.

“Not like your roommate, right?” I said as I chuckled lightly. Her face faltered at the mention of her roommate.

“No.” She said quietly again.

“So, I didn’t get your name,” I said.

“It’s ah Kamora. Kamora Maxwell.” She said facing me again with those big brown eyes. Even her name matched her.

“Everyone usually goes crazy for David and the vlog squad and you left? Not your type of YouTubers?” I asked trying to get her to speak more and refraining from personal or sensitive topics.

“Um, I’m just not much of a social person. And I do like you- um you guys but I like to see you guys as normal individuals. I don’t want to separate the human qualities from you guys just because you well know.” She said.

She’s attractive and smart, the full package.

“Believe it or not, I’m not social either,” I said being completely honest.

She looked at me intrigued.

“Yeah from the vlogs and my channel I look like this super social guy, but I hate it. I like to be independent and do my own thing. Don’t get me wrong I like my group of friends but sometimes I just need to retreat to my cave and recharge.” I said just blurting out how I felt. For some reason, I felt completely safe confiding in her.

She nodded her head in agreeance with me.

“So where are you from? You kind of have an accent but I can’t pinpoint it.” I said.

“I’m from New York City, actually.” She said.

“You’re lying!” I shouted getting a bit excited. She shook her no.

“What part?” I asked, knowing it wasn’t Staten Island.

“The Bronx.” She responded back.

“The Bronx, huh? I know a couple people up that way. They’re cool guys. I outta visit them when I head back home again.” I said reminiscing slightly.

“Since you watch the vlogs then you probably know that I’m from Staten Island- “

“The Forgotten Island,” We said in unison.

I chuckled at that and smiled at her.

We stood in silence for a few moments before I began to speak again. “It’s funny how we both ended up moving from one side of the country to the other. It’s crazy to think about how bad my life was going. The decisions and the people I were hanging out with put me right in prison. But, I’m so glad I was given another chance at life and I’m finally able to live a decent life.” I said as I opened up to her.

“For some reason, I feel like you weren’t like me. You needed up her for some reason and I-“I said before she interrupted me.

“I- I’m sorry. I-I can’t do this!” She yelled as she took a few tentative steps back before bolting past me.

I stood there in shock for a few moments. What did she mean that she “couldn’t do this”? Did she mean socializing in general or just talking to me? Was it something I said? I didn’t really know what to say or do at this moment all I knew was I had to find her and I had to make things okay.

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Joker

The Joker is ubiquitous in pop culture, possibly second only to his nemesis. If there is a Batman-adjacent project, the Joker will show up at some point, and often be the most memorable element. That’s held true for portrayals by Cesar Romero, Mark Hamill, Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger. Joaquin Phoenix’s turn in the role takes a different tack and makes the villain the central character. It does not make him the hero, and that is an important distinction. Todd Phillips’ film walks a thin line between exploration of the character and adoration of him, and manages to stay upright.

There will, of course, be debate about that, a thing which in and of itself speaks to the unique creature the film is: can you imagine walking out of Avengers and debating anything other than which moments were the most fan-pleasing? I did that after Endgame, and was, on a superficial level, satisfied. Joker is aiming for a more cerebral level. There were times I could see the point and times I could not. That alone is noteworthy. I can’t imagine feeling philosophically conflicted about most superhero films. Is it possible I am giving it bonus credit simply for having thoughts in a typically thoughtless genre? Entirely possible.

One thing I noted is that when the credits roll, Phoenix is not credited as the Joker, but as Arthur Fleck. Fleck is a clown-for-hire who dreams of being a stand-up comedian, but keeps the lights on, barely, for himself and his mother by spinning sale signs or cheering up sick children. We meet him as he is mugged by a group of teenagers for no reason; they break the sign he is twirling, and his boss insists he stole it. His life is a series of such incidents, a pattern of trusting the world will do the right thing and finding it won’t. You sense that, deep down, he knows this. He reacts to each new disappointment not with shock or anger but with simple, resigned acceptance.

His life is one of quiet drudgery leading inevitably to a pauper’s grave, and it is dominated by his mother, played by Frances Conroy, who I have personally not seen since she was owning the brilliant Six Feet Under. We meet her here as a defeated old woman, gazing lovingly at TV interviews being given by Mayoral candidate Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen) whose attitude toward the poor is derived from the real-world remarks of many right-wing politicians mixed with the savior-ism of the left. She worked for him, years ago, and is convinced he will answer her letters and lift her and her son out of poverty. This is one of several places where the film breaks with society’s stereotypes of the down-and-out: Fleck lives with his mother and does his best to care for her despite his own limitations, and the situation is not seen as especially pathetic. Another is that Fleck is regularly single, but being unlucky in love isn’t a significant contribution to his transformation; a brief relationship with a single mother (Zazie Beets) ends sadly but is not greatly important to his fall.

That transformation is played out slowly, and there’s no one moment that allows us to go “A-ha! This is it!” He discovers things about his true parentage, and then discovers there may be even more secrets to those secrets. He learns his mother may not be all there, and is keeping things from him. A moment is needed to highlight Conroy, who must shift her persona a couple of times during the film. We’ve all likely known an older woman who is oddly obsessed with something she’s seen on television; it has become a cliche, and most cliches have some basis in fact. Conroy feels sympathetic, and yet when we learn she may be unstable and possibly abusive, we also believe it; there is more than one person in her.

The film’s world views are not what Outrage Culture decided ahead of time that they would be. Prior to the film’s release, there were those who watched the trailer and decided it was glorifying sexist societal outcasts and the acts of violence they sometimes carry out. If you go into the movie expecting it to be that, you can probably find evidence of it. For myself, I don’t subscribe to the notion of deciding what a film I have not seen is and is not. I’ve seen it now, and as with almost every film that addresses mental illness in any way, there are things it does well and things it does less well. The slow transmutation of a simple sad sack into a mad anarchist is movie-plausible, if not real-life-plausible. Phillips and co-writer Scott Silver use some convenient shortcuts to let us know how close to the line Arthur is. He’s on seven medications and asks for more; more crazy, of course, requires more pills. He is gaunt and skeletal, with Phoenix losing a lot of weight for the role, to the point where his joints seem misplaced; another shorthand, as you rarely see a character who is both mentally ill and has any meat on their bones. There’s still a basic idea that external forces are needed to produce a real breakdown; the idea it can just simply happen, due to imagined events or to nothing at all, is simply too opaque for a visual medium to capture. The drama concerning Fleck’s parentage veers just this side of soap opera, but rights itself in the end. This is set against a backdrop of economic unrest, and the eventual furor the Joker stirs up resembles Occupy Wall Street on steroids.

What the film gets right is the way most people who end up suffering from a damaged mind get that way not because of one bad day---the cause Joker famously attributes his origin to in Alan Moore’s classic graphic novel The Killing Joke---but because of the slow accumulation of wounds that by themselves would not be serious, or would not be serious to someone with a different brain. The most tone-deaf criticism I have heard is that the things that happen to Fleck are not realistic; that they are contrived simply to make him sympathetic. If someone believes that people are not casually cruel for no reason, I would venture to say they have lived a charmed life. As someone who has spent time in both retail wars and the vastly overhyped halls of many a Comic Convention, I didn’t find anything people did to Fleck to be beyond belief. Robert De Niro plays a late night host who mocks Fleck’s botched attempt at stand-up to score cheap laughs of his own, and that of course is found everywhere. It is, for instance, easy to write a negative review by personally attacking the people involved. The film is not denying that some people are just horrible. Rather, it is saying that maybe, just maybe, the casual cruelty and anger that is so easy to find doesn’t help. We are also, of course, not meant to sympathize with the path Fleck takes, but to recognize that when people are monstrous, they create monsters.

There are criticisms that can be leveled at Joker, and since this is a positive review, I obviously disagree with most of them. Yet one stands out: the idea that the movie glorifies a murderer. There are ample movies and TV shows picturing the common fantasy of not taking it anymore, in which good guys kill anyone and everyone who looks at them funny while obliterating huge parts of the world around them. People die at the hands of heroes for doing their jobs on the regular, and how many innocent bystanders do so when Iron Man rips through downtown New York? Those movies reduce such sequences to cartoons, so we may go away satisfied and empty-headed. The greatest perspective trick movies often pull is not any camera wizardry, but in convincing us that psychopathic mass murderers are heroes. Will Joker start a new wave in film of Watchmen-like introspection on the reality of worlds full of colorful people with powers? Certainly not; we like our candy too much. Yet I will continue to dream of a Batman film in which the question asked is not why Joker kills, but why Batman keeps letting him escape to do it.

Verdict: Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

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