#maybe that’s not angsty. ymmv

[purecommemasolitude]

Ever since Ryo debuted I have been Thinking about a Paul with more traditional parents who have accents and behave in ways that he finds embarrassing. And the importance of keeping that from people to keep his social status. And then the trust it would need to let Darry spend the night at his place

[angie-words]

I hope you'll indulge me folks for including the signed programme I got after watching Macbeth last night. I'm still buzzing from watching it. The entire cast was incredible and it's one of the best theatre performances I've ever seen. David was very lovely and a signing machine, absolutely making the day of the kid next to me by declaring "nice hat!", or wishing people a happy birthday. There's an angsty (maybe more feelings? ymmv) one beneath the cut today 💜

last meme dump next meme dump

[plothooksinc]

Tagged by @loadthebases

Turns out if I search by mentions I can find it immediately! I'm so clever. (And yet. I only just went "oh hey".)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22! I am not as prolific as some-- a lot of these are one shots. |D And most of them are ancient.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

475,671!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The fandoms I write for that are published are Rurouni Kenshin, Final Fantasy VII, and TMNT '03, '07, and ROTTMNT. Unpublished I also have One Piece, Tiger & Bunny, SPN, FFXIV, annnd The Untamed, most of these just being snippets etc etc. (And then RP is another bag entirely, writing in a different format-- you can include Blade of the Immortal that way.)

4. Top five fics by kudos?

It was only recently I managed to clock the 1000 mark, and I did it on two fics at once, lmao. Uhhh--

Underdark - 1089!

No Rest For The Weary - ....1089. (You guys really are neck and neck still.)

The Zaibatsu Project - 291

Some Rest For The Weary. As A Treat. - 221

Snowblind - 174

Not altogether that bad, considering Ruroken is such a dead fandom these days. /o/

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yup. Unless someone is leaving a whole stream of one word OMG/!!!!/EEEK in which I'll probably just answer the last one they left. I did go through a very long period where I did not because I was too tired, but I started again around the 2020 mark when I actually started reading fanfiction again. And started engaging, etc etc.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write angsty endings? :|a 404 File Not Found. I think the closest I got was the tiny ficlet I wrote for Ruroken which was just Kenshin being depressed in the rain after Tomoe's death, and I'm not sure that really counts. That was like three paragraphs of "well my life sucks" lmao. It never made it to AO3. (It's on ff dot net still, though.)

...OH. But I can tell you which one's going to have the angstiest ending and that's The Legacy. Which given the last chapter I had finished with Raph holding onto his dead not!girlfriend, I would assume most readers are not gonna be surprised by this fact. (File Soon* To Be Found.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk man I tend to angle for happy endings in general, so that is very hard to answer as it comes under YMMV - people have different views of happy endings, after all. Probably Underdark as the most distinct "Yes, everything is okay now" ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nah, not really. I did have one serial reviewer that reviewed every chapter of Tanabata Jasmine back in the day with a lot of backhanded compliments and condescending comments? And one person who started off reviewing Misconduct with "well my friend told me to read this" and two chapters later said "okay I'm bored now bye", but none of this is hate. The only actual "hate" I got given was not actually ...for me? I don't think? It was someone who literally said: Why did you delete your slave fics? BITCH!! And I'm like... I have not now nor will i ever write... one of those...? So yeah. Think they mistook me for another author or something. Maybe Kikide. EH. Not my division.

9. Do you write smut?

Nah.

10. Craziest crossover?

Zaibatsu Project is a Rurouni Kenshin/Cyberpunk 2020 crossover, so that's taking all your 19th century samurai types and ditching them wholesale into 2029 Tokyo. It's fun. Maybe one day I will even write more of it.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Outright? I don't think so. Buuut I've certainly had people ping me in the past to tell me someone's lifted a chunk of it wholesale or "they've written Snowblind, only with smut!" or there was one person who wrote a BNHA fic which followed the same plot of Underdark complete with dialogue borrowed directly from the fic. That last one I contacted the author and they apologised and offered to take the fic down and I told them they could keep it up provided they credit me for the inspiration somewhere. I'm sure by now some AI has scraped my stuff, but largely I write in fandoms that don't get lifted and sold like others do. And honestly, the above examples are more kinda flattering than anything else.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I believe most of my longer works have been translated into Russian, at the very least. I found Tanabata Jasmine back in the day being re-released onto a Russian forum site and I had a lot of fun translating the site to read responses (and laugh a bit at the machine translations because they kept telling me the readers were legless). Underdark has for sure. I've also found Snowblind.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wrote a few pages of one with @shadowbends at one point! But we didn't get far in and we both got distracted with other projects. And I also wrote half a fic to set up the other half for an author, but she didn't end up going ahead. Alas. So.... kind of?

14. All time favourite ship?

I'm honestly not much of a shipper. I mean-- actually, I ship a lot of different pairings, but only kind of superficially for the most part? Like I really enjoy reading ships but I still vastly prefer gen. I will very rarely read an outright romance fic, there's gotta be a plot. (Or at the very least some interesting smut, god.) It's easier for me to point out ships that make me go UGH GOD NO rather than a preference. (In RP I'll ship a little more if the dynamics between our characters work out really well, but I still won't be crushed if nothing comes from it. This is a hard question for me to answer. I definitely don't have an all time favourite in this lukewarm pile of ships, that's for sure.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Any of the WIPs that I have that I never bothered publishing have been abandoned. Anything I want to finish will get finished. It will just take some time. This is assuming I have a long life; I mean, if I'm scheduled to die, say, three years from now, the only thing that might get finished is Infinite Ricochet, lmao.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Action scenes! /o/ Pacing and tension. The most common review I get is from people vibrating from delighted stress, lmao.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Connective tissue. I can get really bogged down in getting from A to B. You can really see it in the early days of a fic where I'm still writing set up and wondering how to scale up realistically to the things I really want to write. Once everything starts going wrong, it gets much easier, rofl.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Depends on context. Like many I started writing fanfic at the time people tried to pepper as much Japanese into their dialogue as possible for realism or brownie points or whathaveyou - you can see that in my first fic on ff dot net lmaooo. Don't do this. Not unless you have a foreign phrase that just loses its flavour when translated through to English. Or, alternatively, when you actually have a non-English character who keeps dropping into their own language, or some try hard teenager who keeps trying to show off how much Spanish they know, as an example. There are always reasons to do so and reasons it will work. But if you're just going "LOOK AT THE WORDS I KNOW"... I recommend not doing so, you will look back years later and go "oh god".

19. First fandom you wrote in?

....look, technically the first fandom I wrote in was Inspector Gadget self insert fic. But I was nine so I feel I should not be judged. /cough

First time I sat down to write an actual story that was based off a show was for the old Defenders of the Earth cartoon while I was ...15? And then when I moved out my one sofa chair was surrounded by notepads as I wrote out my first 1987 TMNT fanfic. I didn't know it was called fanfic back then. In fact I didn't know anyone else did it at all and I was just weird. Please understand that when I got onto the web proper in the late 90s and found fanfic sites I was over the moon.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

It's gotta be Underdark. That thing is its own island by now. It's closely followed by the more recent There Is No Gravy, which much like Underdark wrote itself and also ended up far longer than I intended. It was just fun. It was a soft warm hug for the Rise fandom, okay, I love it.

Thank you! This was fun to reminisce about tbh. :D

I tag: @calliopechild, @radishhqueen, and @bobtheacorn ♥ No pressure, have at it if you like

* please note that the author's definition of soon may vary to yours. She has 13 year breaks between chapters sometimes, after all.

[bageltopia]

may I ask how you plan out your fics? I’ve been wanting to get back into writing, especially for multi chapter fics, but I’m not quite sure how to approach it. I’ve always liked the structure of your fics so I was just wondering if you have any tips! Thanks!

hello, sorry this took a while to answer! but sure, i’d be happy to share and thanks for enjoying my fics!

first: this is something that differs from a couple other writers, but i never think of my fics as i’m writing them as “multi chap” fics in the traditional sense. i just think of it as one cohesive story, and then decide as i go (or after the first draft is done) how best to break it up the sections into chapters in order to best serve the story. i’m just not a “release the chapters as they’re written” person, and that is something that really colors my writing and planning process. i find this allows me the greatest degree of control over my storytelling. if i decide something from the beginning is no longer flowing or serving the story the way i want it to, i can go back and adjust it as many times as i want because it’s not published yet.

i also am NOT a discovery writer when it comes to longfics. for shorter things - let’s say anything 15-20k or under - i often let the plot make itself known to me, but for longer ideas, i like to plan.

but i know other writers operate differently, so YMMV!

i wrote a lot more on this than i thought i would, so rest is under the cut

as far as planning - i often start with a huge infodump doc where i just write a bullet-pointed steam of consciousness for all of my thoughts/screaming/inspiration/mental breakdowns lol/etc. after that’s all out, i organize it into different plot points that i want to address.

if you’ve ever looked into the way tv shows are written, i like to plan my longer ideas around a somewhat similar framework - there is the A plot, the B plot, the C plot, etc. maybe even a D or E depending on the show, running as a through line across all the episodes. and since this is fan fiction, one of those plots (if not the main one) is almost always going to be the romance between the main pairing, unless you’re writing gen fic. i personally like to add other story-driven elements in addition to the romance that allow me to add character development, mystery, excitement, intrigue, etc.

i’ll use Lightning’s End, my 52k lusan fic, as an example here. i only had 2 major plotlines that i thought of for that fic. 

A = sanji developing + realizing his feelings for luffy

B = the island they land on and the mystery of it (and how it conceivably grounds the work in canon)

these two things unfolded pretty concurrently in LE, but they might not always!

i like to weave the 2 elements together, decide how they interact with one another, and then actually put together the events of the fic - sketch out what actually is going to happen and how. i don’t really do intensive scene-by-scene outlining other than when i’m in the actual writing process, but i want to know any broad strokes before i put pen to paper!

for LE, i can distill this down in “chapter 1” (or the first 10k) as: the storm sweeps sanji + luffy overboard >> they stargaze and have an emotional breakthrough discussing their pasts >> they find out they’re not alone on the island.

when i actually start writing, i decide what actually is concretely happening in the scene, where they are, what little things each character is doing in the moment, etc.

i also keep a running log of little details i want to remember to sprinkle throughout; anything funny, sweet, inspiring, angsty. physical or behavioral characteristics i want certain characters to have, etc. so i can keep track of them and remember to make them consistent. some of these even end up becoming motifs for the story!

in a nutshell, i like to approach longfics from a big —> small view. decide the plot points, construct the conflict/resolution for each, decide how each of those individual conflicts play into each other, and then decide the scenes and details.

for Lightning’s End, weaving the 2 plot points together got me to 5 chapters at 52k total. for moonlighters, i had a lot more plot points—that themselves required more exposition and development—to get through. approximately 5 or 6, according to my notes, and then i went through the process of making sure they were all interwoven throughout each of the scenes and events i had planned or written. circling back to make sure each of my scenes were always serving one or more of these plots was key for me.

i’ve talked a little bit on discord and twitter of the notion project i’ve made for moonlighters haha…if you happened to have seen that:

i want to make it clear that notion was only ever a tool for me to organize these thoughts that i was already putting into practice from my previous multi chap fics, just in a way that was a lot more regimented and trackable. and highly tailored to me and my planning process. you could probably accomplish the same thing on google sheets, or docs, or excel, or even on pen and paper. i just happen to like notion’s system :D :D

[pisoprano]

Thanks, @kasienda for tagging me!

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Just three. (Okay technically there are five other 'fics' that I posted on Ao3 that are all privated now, but they're just early versions of chapters I had in a couple of my Fanfiction.net fics that I posted on Ao3 first for meta reasons).

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

35,050 on Ao3, but on Fanfiction.net there's another 132,182.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I'm just doing Miraculous Ladybug.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

She's the Peacock (350)

Runaway Catwalker (259)

The People You Call Home (167)

And the two early Chapter 3s of the privated fic-chapters have a tie with 2 kudos each.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

When I was posting on Fanfiction.net, I usually didn't unless I was answering a direct question. On Ao3, I'm trying to be better at it--though I don't always reply to every comment and sometimes things fall through the cracks, I try to reply to everyone who's left at least one substantial comment. Eventually. Probably.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Either RLatCE (which is deliberately unsatisfying for meta reasons), or She's the Peacock (which is open-ended in it's angstiness).

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

As the only other fic I've properly finished right now, it's GWatCE, though it certainly has a bittersweetness to it so YMMV on "happy". Once I finish The People You Call Home, it'll definitely take that the spot, that fic is 97% pure sugar candy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have an extremely low tolerance for reading sex scenes (even an intense kissing scene can be too much sometimes), so no, I'm probably not going to write smut anytime soon. You'll maybe get an oblique reference to sex happening somewhere offscreen at best.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

How are we defining 'crossover' here? I did end up stealing the basic concept of the Well of Lost Plots from Jasper Fforde for RLatCE/SLatCE, but it only superficially resembles how Fforde uses that setting.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Does it count that someone once added my fic to Goodreads? Because that did happen (Goodreads was very nice about taking the page down when I asked them to).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The closest I've come to this is clowning on in the replies of a tumblr post (it's much easier to go "Surprise! I have added to your thing!" than it is to ask someone if they want to work together to write something, like how do people even do that without exterior constraints putting you together??).

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Love Square. All sides are good because it's all the same two people at the end of the day and they are made for each other.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

At this point, SLEatCE is dangerously close to being dead. I was already having a hard time writing the thing to the point where I told myself that I'd start posting again once I finished writing it, and then Rowling's attitudes and actions started becoming more apparent and it feels like that continuing this fic would be a tacit endorsement of her political beliefs... A part of me wants to at least post all the stuff I have written, but (besides the fact that I've got other WIPs holding my attention for the foreseeable future) I should at least write one more scene that acknowledges my complicated feelings on finishing SLEatCE in any capacity--the fic certainly is meta enough to warrant it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialog. Practically all my scenes are written with the dialog first, so it's the thing I practice most often.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description. Things like grounding details and nonverbal subtext are things I don't remember to do very often--and when I do, it tends to be fairly basic when compared to the lusciousness of other authors' prose.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would only consider writing non-English dialogue if I knew exactly what the words meant--and seeing as my best non-English language is still pretty much garbage, that means I'd most likely be quoting a famous and/or common phrase, which seems a bit weird to include as a random part of a character's dialog. So it's unlikely to happen unless I've got a specific reason.

As for reading fics with foreign dialogue, I don't mind, I just hope the translation is provided and that the writer knows enough about the language and its culture to get the foreign language passages right (machine translation may be pretty good nowadays for giving you the gist of things you don't understand in a pinch, but it's not a substitute for creating natural language).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HP

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Pretty much all of them have been my favorite at some point, but at the moment, it's probably Runaway Catwalker.

[mittensmorgul]

So I've finally managed to start a supernatural rewatch since it ended. I had a really hard time coming back to it knowing it ended like.... that. I'm wondering if you (or anyone who reads this) has any really good fix-it fics to read instead of the finale? I'm planning on watching up to 15x19 (maybe only 15x18 depending) and then just reading a fic as the ending instead, so I'm looking for something that picks up right where it leaves off, and then wraps everything up in the way the finale didn't.

Thanks for all your meta and spn commentary and stuff. You're one of my fave accounts ♥️

oh gosh, hello! And thanks!

I've read a lot of great fix it fics for the finale, and heck i should've made a special tag for them on tumblr, but I think most of the ones I've seen have made it into my episode tag... only there's like 60 pages of posts in there and I'd venture to say that the majority of them aren't fics, but meta, gif sets, art, and like... generalized yelling. All of which may be interesting and useful to you anyway! Even if it's not all fic. :D

I've written several fics myself that fall under the umbrella of Series Fix It, too:

Revenge of the Text (25.5k, rated T because my intent was to make something that COULD have aired, though after posting I realized I could've given more screen time to Sam and Eileen, even though I pretty much give them their happy ending right at the start lol... priorities, after all)

what goes around... (468 words, rated T, short and angsty with a happy ending)

The Famous Final Scene (202 words of pure fix it)

Everything I've written set in canon since the finale is effectively finale fix it, too, even if it doesn't directly address the finale, because the assumption is life just went on, they got Cas back, and without Chuck's power there to beam their reality to our tv screens in our universe, some network exec panicked and aired ~whatever that was~ instead of what actually happened in their lives instead. So we have holiday fluff with For The Best, case fic with lectio in equis, and coming October 6 for the DCBB this year, I'll be posting Heart Shaped Box. And that's just my own fix its. There's soooo many.

Another good place to start is probably the Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On tag on AO3, though ymmv on various different iterations of "fixing it." Like... i have less than zero desire to read any fix it involving them all being dead in heaven. That's not fixing it for me. So mind the tags on each story and find what YOU want to read. Because there's a lot there, and that means something for everyone!

And also, like some of my fic referenced above, post-canon fic that isn't directly ABOUT fixing the finale, but still carries on the original story either like the finale never happened at all, or else handwaves the fixing bit and moves right on with their lives without explaining in detail how everything was fixed-- a lot of those fics won't get tagged with the 15.20 fix it tag, for obvious reasons. Post-canon might be another good search term, to look for, as well.

Good luck with your rewatch! :D

[curioussubjects]

come be a season 12 truther with me; or what if dean and cas got together offscreen

Originally, I wrote this post to celebrate “Galaxy Brain” airing as Berens & Glynn gave us “The Future.” It’s been a while since that episode aired, and some things have changed about this meta. As such, there are multiple versions of this post floating around, so make sure to go back to the source for the most up to date version.  For all intents and purposes, this post functions as a meta manifesto not unlike shipping manifestos from days of LJ past. In keeping with that tradition, this post is a close reading of Dabb Era Destiel in which I argue that by using narrative gaps, queer coding, and romance tropes, Dean and Cas are shown to be in an established relationship. Although beyond the scope of this post, it’s worth pointing out that keeping Destiel mostly off screen was a way for the creatives to bypass network censorship while still remaining true to the characters.

This post is divided into three sections. Section I focuses on giving an overview of why earlier seasons of Supernatural aren’t as compelling as season 12 as a turning point for Dean and Cas’s relationship. That said, special consideration is given to 09.06 “Heaven Can’t Wait” as a potential rest stop in our journey due to it’s significantly placed narrative gap as well as themes in the episode. However, this post isn’t going to examine season 9 trutherism in depth, though it does coexist with and allow for it. Section II analyses season 12 and proposes a timeline and justification for the shifting Destiel dynamic. Finally, Section III will offer an analysis of how Dean and Cas’s relationship has changed dramatically from previous seasons in a way that is most like the shift from a “will they or won’t they” pairing to an established one. 

Before I move to Section I, I’d like to note something this post takes for granted: Dean and Cas are the main romantic subplot of Supernatural, and, in fact, their relationship is elevated to main plot for both characters in season 15. This post won’t argue about the canonicity of Dean and Cas’s feelings for each other, therefore, and so won’t spend time looking at many Destiel defining moments. I’d also like to make clear that this post also takes for granted that Destiel is being intentionally developed by the writers starting with Carver’s Era, and more so in Dabb’s. 

I. Why Seasons 4 through 11 May Not be It

The tl;dr. here is that while there are many moments throughout these seasons that Dean and Cas could potentially get together, none of those moments are ideal for a bunch of reasons that can be summed up as really bad timing. I also think the narrative is actively pushing them towards a moment that works. We get plenty of stepping stones, especially once we hit seasons 8 through 11 (and 11 most of all).

Seasons 4 & 5:

I know there’s been a lot of get together fics over the years set in this time period, but I just don’t see it. Do I see them being intrigued and drawn to each other? Yes. Do I think either Cas or Dean would act on it? Nope. I’m not arguing anything re: Dean’s feelings, but with everything going at the time I find it hard to believe he’d pursue anything with his angel friend. Most importantly here, though, is that during this time Cas was still very alien and other. There was too much angel in him, and while he obviously came to care about Dean (and Sam) very much, I just can’t see him navigating the realm of human relationships. That said, seeing human!Cas in “The End” is the first we see of potential developments for how Cas could behave without his angelness interfering. Being human changes Cas a lot, beyond even his experience existing among humans, though that of course matters too. This development will be important later /wink.

Seasons 6 & 7:

Before anything else let me just recognize that if we could see some sexual tension in seasons 4 & 5, these two seasons come with our first taste of romantic tension. The pining! Also note the difference between season 4 Cas and season 6 Cas in terms of behaviour. He is much less the angel we saw in that barn in “Lazarus Rising.” In season 6, we have a Cas making misguided decisions guided entirely by his emotions – namely, not wanting to involve Dean with the war in heaven – which is peak human, honestly. Put a pin on how sad Dean is in both seasons with Cas’s absence. Finally, put a pin on this being our first moment of Cas doing things on his own to spare Dean and it not ending well (soulless!Sam, Cas “dying” after Leviathan) because this is *the* hurdle in their relationship (along with Dean’s lashing out and self-worth issues). With all this said, the marked distance between Dean and Cas in these seasons negates the possibility of them entering into any kind of relationship. Much like seasons 4 and 5, there’s too much going on.

Season 8:

Ah, yes, the summer of purgatory. If you thought we had pining before…! I think we’re all very clear on season 8 being a turning point for the show, not only because new showrunner, but we also get the bunker. TFW now has an HQ, which pretty soon becomes home. Yes, Baby will always be home, but the bunker becomes the *unmovable* safe haven that Baby couldn’t be. The bunker is a place to coalesce, and for all the amazing things Baby is, she is not that. The acquisition of the bunker marks a shift in the psychology of the show: with the stable home space we can start to imagine domesticity, a place to come home to, the stuff of ordinary living. Most of all, the bunker is emblematic of security, of safety –keep this in mind, as we go forward.

This season also continues to see Cas go down the path of independently solving his problems instead of asking for help from Sam and Dean (his family in a way heaven never was) – note that the better together issue is at play in different ways with Sam and Dean also, but I digress. I also want to point out disastrous instance #2 of Cas’s insistence on figuring it out on his own: he loses his grace, and the angels fall. As for Dean, season 8’s focus for him has much to do with Sam, and them coming face to face with their issues with codependency, which hit catastrophic levels with the gates of hell and Gadreel plots.

So despite all the deliciously angsty get together purgatory fics and spec, there’s too much distance between Dean and Cas on Cas’s part due to his guilt over betraying the Winchesters in s6 plus slaughtering angels plus unleashing Leviathan. We do see Dean being more emotionally open with Cas and continue to voicing his wish that Cas would just stay with him and Sam, and let them help. It’s clear as day how much Dean cares. The timing is still bad, though.

Before moving on to next season, let’s take a moment to appreciate that this is the season Dean admits being kinda done with one night stands because “always with the adios.” Remember the bunker as a sign of stability? Yeah. I wouldn’t say Dean is craving a relationship, exactly, but I think we can see that he does want something more (ahem also I’m nodding to Cas refusing to stay put just cause).

Seasons 9 & 10:

The most important thing to happen between this two seasons is Cas’s stint as a human for an extended period of time. There’s been plenty of spec and meta written over the years about the effects of being human on Cas’s grace (a proto-soul now maybe?). What we can say for sure, regardless, is that Cas is much more humanized once he becomes an angel again. The understanding he gets from being human doesn’t go away once he regains his angel powers. You’ll notice that while we still see some of season 4’s characterization, Cas is not the same as he was – he is alien to angels now and is more intelligible to humans. Additionally, in an interesting reversal from previous seasons, we now get to see the depth of Cas’s feelings for Dean (thanks, Metatron) as well as seeing him be more open emotionally, while Dean does most of the pushing away (first because of Gadreel, then because of the Mark of Cain). In short, the timing is still bad as Dean and Cas are largely kept apart both physically and emotionally.

9.06 Heaven Can’t Wait

This episode is my white whale, friends. While I’ve come to fully subscribe to the idea that something did happen between Dean and Cas during the fanfic gap, I don’t actually think it’s feasible that it marked the start of a relationship -- be it sexual or romantic. My reasoning here is quite simple: the timing is bad. Were it not for external events (Cas regaining his Grace and Dean taking on the MoC), the course would have likely differed. Furthermore, Dean’s guilt over making Cas leave the bunker as well as Cas’s own hurt and self-loathing pose a significant and as yet insurmountable obstacle, which is easily seen with how Dean and Cas’s character trajectories go separate ways.

YMMV on what exactly happened between them in that Motel, but something definitely did. Perhaps one day I’ll have a proper s9 trutherism post to link to here for more details (likely won’t be written by me, though). 

10.16 Paint It Black

From the point Dean gets the MoC until the end of season 10, anything between him and Cas is quite impossible due to distancing, to say the least. Again, yes, the fic is really good, but alas. One of the reasons I’m bringing up this episode in particular is because of the confession scene. One, it’s a rare bit of explicit emotional honesty from Dean, and two, it tells me that while he and Cas may be well aware of the Thing™ between them, it’s still uncharted waters. It’s scary, and murky, and they’re unsure how to navigated it or if they should even try. Makes sense, too, there’s been A LOT going on since s6. Anyway, he’s the full confession:

You know, the life I live, the work I do���I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it. […]  Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time. […]  Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.

Can I just say, first, that this confession keeps me up at night because we never actually see anything done with it explicitly? I mean, obviously, I think we do in fact see the effects of this confession in the show, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this behemoth, but still, like. Damn. Ok, so, remember when I brought up that thing in season 7 about Dean being kinda done with hook-ups? Here’s where that led us. We’re seeing a Dean here who wants more than what he has convinced himself he gets to have. He wants more than dying bloody. And when he talks about wanting to experience people and feelings differently, well, that says a lot not just on the queer coding front or the romantic front. I mean, jfc, Dean is accepting the idea that he can have more in life than just hunt until he drops, and he’s specifically talking about experiences at the interpersonal level.

Do you ever see a character having an epiphany and find yourself wanting to cry because this is it right here. Dean is just blatantly admitting he wants more and maybe he can make himself be open to that (!!!), which all culminates in season 11, so…

Season 11:

The pining is still here, but it’s worse now since it’s the whole plot? It’s been *checks calendar* 5 years of this. How are any of us still kicking I don’t know. Your slow burns could never. Cool worth noting points: Cas says yes to Lucifer (bad decision #2.5, lots of mitigating effects_I don’t actually hold it against him that much but Dean is another story & not entirely rational at this point); for the first time since the early days, Dean and Cas are on equal grounds: they’ve both fucked up a lot and have hurt each other. The issues this season are outside their dynamic. Amara and Lucifer here serve as externalizing forces for Dean and Cas’s problems: Cas checks out with Lucifer because he thinks it’s the only way he can help, Dean is caught up in the turmoil of Amara, the emblem of absence and avoidance of struggle. We do get something like an affirmation from the two of them to each other via Dean calling Cas his brother (and I want y’all to consider the historical queering of that statement, and Cas’s “I could go with you.” It feels like we’re headed to them being on the same page. By the end of the season, though, it feels like we’re getting a clean slate: Mary is back, nobody died, no end-of-the-world in sight, no interpersonal crisis. We’re also getting a new showrunner, so. No wonder. We’re gearing up for something, but I’m getting ahead of myself. What this season does that is super important is that it sets up the stage for the possibility of an actual relationship between Dean and Cas, something that has, up until this point, been pretty much impossible.

11.04 Baby

Y’all know what I’m about to quote here, right? That conversation between Dean and Sam about having something with someone who understands the life. Here we still have Dean reverting to the idea that it’s impossible, which is a direct contrast to the openness in 10.16. It’s understandable, though, considering there’s been little reason to think anything like that would be possible (see all the mess and poor timing from seasons past). The quote in question, though, marks a continuing development regarding the issues Dean is struggling with this season:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all. SAM: Really? You don’t … Ever want something more? DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

We wouldn’t be talking about this stuff all these years after Sam and Dean had a serious relationship if it wasn’t important, right? Also who else do we meet this season? That’s right! Eileen! And doesn’t that hit different with season 15 hindsight? And who does Dean have that understands the life? Whose stories have been intricately connected to his? Right now, this is all conjecture. A pipe dream Sam is revisiting, and Dean is skeptical about. Except, well. Look at what we get in “Into the Mystic” and “The Chitters.”

11.11 Into The Mystic

I’m bringing up this episode as a cross reference to “Paint It Black” as well as to complement the talk from “Baby,” and to show, again, that, for all the closeness between Dean and Cas, there’s still a marked distance they haven’t yet bridged. There’s still truths they haven’t told each other. Thanks Mildred for the delicious exposition:

Darlin’…If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years on the road, it’s when somebody’s pining for somebody else. […] Oh, don’t try and hide it now. Follow your heart. Remember?

11.19 The Chitters

And here we see some validation to Sam’s imagining of a possible future with someone else. We actually see hunters who not only are married, but they both make it out alive. Jesse and Cesar get their happy ending. They make the dream come true. And the reality of it important not just for Dean to see, but Sam too.

Dean: [with realization] Oh, so … [points back and forth to Jesse and Cesar] Cesar: Yeah. Dean: Okay, that’s… Cesar puts his beer bottle on the table and looks at Dean, while Jesse is being silent. Dean: What’s it like, settling down with a hunter? Cesar: Smelly, dirty. [turns to Jesse] Twice the worrying about getting ganked.

I’d like to point out, too, that the fear of getting ganked is thematic when it comes to the tension between Dean and Cas. More on this when we hit s13.

Alright, now, having said that, let’s take a look at season 12. Bear in mind, this is the official start of Dabb’s era, even if he kinda began taking over in season 11, and the change in vibes is obvious. In fact, 12 jumped out at me as a turning point, in hindsight, after getting smacked by the domesticity of seasons 13 and 14.

II. Why Season 12

[Out of date section. Update coming soon when spoons. After significant debate, I’ve altered the definitive start of Dean and Cas’s friend-with-benefits-with-mutual-pining relationship to between 12.02 and 12.03. I briefly explained why here, and yes it’s a shitpost--still true tho.]

Finally, the promise land, y’all. Getting right to it: what s11 was for Dean in terms of setting up the relationship stage, s12 was for Cas. In its initial beats, any way. That is, until the Kelly debacle, this was the longest Cas has been around the bunker and with the exception of seasons 13 and 14, it’s one of the first times we get to see how Cas might actually fit into the bunker-as-home. Things seem remarkably chill. Of course, we’ll notice that there’s still a lot of baggage hanging around because despite Dean and Cas being in a more stable place, they haven’t actually dealt with their interpersonal problems. I didn’t single out directly this episode, but do keep in mind Cas’s declaration in 12.09 First Blood as far as how much the Winchesters matter to Cas & how we also see Dean and Cas be particularly singled out with them seating together in the backseat of the Impala. What we also see this season is Cas trying to prove he is worthy of this family, his family. He’s not fighting for heaven or to right some grievous wrong (a la s8). No, this season he’s fighting to spare the Winchester, to bring them a win. To bring Dean a win. The major disconnect is that Dean (and Sam & Mary) already sees Cas that way, he doesn’t think Cas has anything to prove. And just maybe, Cas starts believing that too – or, at least, believing it enough.

12.10 Lily Sunders Has Some Regrets

This episode, oh my god, the goodness. In the wake of 12.09 we have Dean and Cas in a tiff because Cas mistake #3 (killing Billie and “cosmic consequences”), this is a pattern. Twice the worry of getting ganked, etc etc. But where this episode really shines is through the contrast between Ishim’s obsession with Lily and Cas & Dean’s mutual affection for each other. Ishim sees no difference here and, to him, Cas’s feelings for Dean are a human weakness. Returning to my point about human!Cas, this episode underscores that Cas’s increasing humanity is what puts him in the place where he can want what Dean wants instead of either being too alien to get it (see s4 & 5) or unable to experience it properly (Ishim).

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Cas’s trajectory culminates here with the whole I love you (@ Dean), I love all of you (@ Winchesters). Let’s note too that Cas is dying here, in a way that is much more human than going up in light. This declaration of different types of love is entirely human. It’s also a definitive step wrt to Cas and Dean’s relationship because of what happens in 12.19. This. is. it. Oh, and, of course, let’s not forget to point to Dean’s face when Cas says that “I love you,” and how terrified he is that Cas is dying. Might make one rethink some things, hm?

12.19 The Future

This episode is simply hella suspicious, and all the kudos to Berens and Glynn for writing it. It’ll haunt me forever. Consider watching it again and just questioning everything. So. Weird things:

1. Dean’s reaction to Cas no getting in touch as opposed to Sam’s. Dean is pissed, which is Dean-speak for worried out of his mind. Sam is very worried, too, and puzzled, but he’s mostly expressing his relief that Cas is back. But Cas has gone awol before, but this time Dean is much more worked up about it; Sam takes note of this, too. Now, let’s imagine that maybe the events of 12.12 led to something happening between Dean and Cas. Then Cas decided to leave to find a lead on Kelly, but eventually Cas decides to work with Heaven and goes radio silent. For days. Having taken a chance, and something having happened between them, how would Dean react to Cas just going poof and not contacting him – despite Dean having called Cas multiple times.

2. Cas knows about the Colt. Ok, nothing off there. But when he goes to Dean’s room to talk, right after Dean leaves we see Cas looking around briefly. Like he know Dean would keep it in there. Maybe Cas had looked other places already. Who knows. What we do know is that eventually he does find the Colt not only in Dean’s room, but under Dean’s pillow. Sam didn’t even know the Colt wasn’t in the safe. So how did Cas know?

3.“He came into my room and he played me.” So, this quote right there, makes it seem like some seduction for personal gain, right? But can you see Cas actually doing that if they hadn’t gone there previously? For Dean not to suspect anything and go with it? There’s plenty of plausible deniability here, but the gaps in time in the narrative make me question what is there in those spaces. The scene where Cas tried to give Dean the mixtape back doesn’t read like “playing,” so it’s about a different interaction. Hm. Hmmm.

4. Dean and Cas’s brief conversation in Dean’s room is clearly Dean just wanting Cas to stay, so they can work (and be) together – because they’re better that way. Which, yeah, truth, but also ow.

5.And most importantly: When did Dean give Cas that mixtape??? How did that happen?

Sequence of events: Cas tells Dean he loves him – Dean is clearly shook by it – Dean gives Cas a mixtape (romantic gesture, often a declaration of feelings; in true Dean speak too lolsobs) – Cas goes awol - Dean acts like he got ghosted by his new bf -?????- Cas somehow knows the Colt is under Dean’s pillow – "He went into my room and he played me."

What am I supposed to do with that, hm? Like. Y’all realize they probably had some emotionally constipated getting together moment, right? Something that Dean clearly initially thought meant things were gonna change, now. Something that Cas couldn’t allow to happen until he could give Dean a win. Y’all are seeing this, yeah? I’m not saying they slept together and were full of feelings, except that’s kind of what I’m saying. But YMMV, there are other possibilities beyond sex. The full of feelings isn’t up for debate, though, even if the whole thing is informed by ridiculous amounts of miscommunication.

III. Seasons 13 through 15 As Established Relationship

Regardless of what happened in season 12, exactly, I can’t shake the feeling that something did happen, and something did change. My reasoning here is actually really simple: in comparison to previous seasons, Dean and Cas’s dynamic shifts significantly come season 13. I know some folks have been disappointed with some of season 13 and then season 14 for having dialed back on the destiel side of things. And, hey, maybe there’s truth to that in terms of backstage stuff, but I also want to point out that...well, the dialing back isn’t quite dialing back is it? Let’s look at 13 a little more closely:

Season 13:

So I said the deancas dynamic changed, right? I also think that change caught us unaware because the pivotal turning point that would cue us in never happened on screen as well as being subsumed by Cas’s death and Jack’s birth. But if I ask you about deancas in season 13 what would come to mind? Grief arc? Brokebacknatural? How domestic Dean and Cas are? There’s just something easy about their relationship after Cas returns from the Empty. The tension we’d grown so familiar with over the years is gone. Actually, it feels like we skipped the getting together bit of their relationship and went straight to established relationship and parenting. Some of the most peak married deancas moments we see circulating? Season 13, (and 12.10). It’s a lot, and it’s different, and it’s amazing.

13.01-13.05

Dean’s grief mini-arc. He was acting like a widower. Here’s me vaguely gesturing towards the mapping of Jonh, Mary, Dean, and Sam onto Dean, Cas, Sam, and Jack. And the reunion? I can’t help but be giddy at the song choice: “it’s never too late to start all over again.” To. Start. All. Over. Again. I’m just saying.

13.06 Tombstone & 13.16 Scoobynatural

I’m not going at length about these episodes, I just want to point out that they reveal that Dean and Cas have a whole thing going on off screen: they watch movies together, Cas knows about Dean being an angry sleeper, Cas seems to have been aware of the Dean-cave before Sam was. It’s little things like this that are examples of the narrative gaps surrounding Dean and Cas that have cropped up over the years. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what else could be hiding there. And when did the movie nights alluded in “Tombstone” happen? Maybe in season 12 when Cas in hanging around the bunker? The same period when Dean and Cas seem to be coalescing into something safer and more stable? Something that we never see come to a head because plot happens and Cas dies? Something that is immediately taken back up once Cas is alive again?

Season 14:

Overall, this season is more of what we got during 13, but it had two high notes I wanted to single out before ending this already too long post.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Look me in the eye and tell me Dean and Cas talking in the kitchen about Jack doesn’t read like husbands talking about their child. Look me in the eye and tell me Cas just texting Dean to gossip about Sam isn’t couple-y as hell.

14.18-14.20

Ah, yes, the divorce arc. Awful. Terrible. The culmination of Dean’s problem in all this: he lashes out, he pushes Cas away, his anger is alienating. Cue all of us suffering. But while Dean is clearly in the wrong in how the deals with his feelings, let’s not pretend some of his anger doesn’t come from a long established, and unaddressed, rift between him and Cas, which had its last traumatic turn when Cas died in s12. Dean isn’t being rational here: he saw Cas doing something on his own, and he saw that his mother is dead. What else could happen? Why won’t Cas just trust they can work as a team? What if Cas died again? And why should Cas put up with Dean’s behavior without knowing the cause? How can any relationship work this way? But notice how caught in the middle Sam was during all this. Notice how Jack is running off and acting out. The whole family is falling apart. Divorce arc, indeed.

Season 15:

But what about what we’re building up in 15? That seems like it could be a getting together plot, too, right? Well, yeah. It could very well be. But I’d argue the tension we’re seeing isn’t a will-they-or-won’t-they because they already have. We’re are watching a getting back together plot! The tension is, instead, will-they-or -won’t-they use their words to talk about the baggage that has kept them from truly being confident about their relationship. That’s the crucial step in their togetherness that they’re still missing, which is also the bedrock of the divorce arc that spanned twelve fucking episodes -- y’all, that’s half a season.

And technically? We’re not even done with yet because Cas never let Dean finish his prayer/confession in purgatory. What’s more, Cas hasn’t grappled with his role in the breakdown of their relationship, either: that he keeps going off on his own and getting hurt (and getting other people hurt), and Dean has to deal with the fallout. The deep emotional understanding, the truly being on the same page is what we’re on the edge of our seats for. We’re waiting to see what else Dean had to say, and what will happen when Cas’s deal with the Empty comes to light.

Finally, could we still have this plot without Dean and Cas having gotten together off screen? Sure, but I think the stakes are higher if they already did have something between them. If they actually have an established romantic relationship going on. Something real and tangible and as of yet much too fragile.

"...you asked what about all this is real. We are."

[thedreadvampy]

re: your tags on that long post, completely agree, if I never see another fic or meta post where jon is embarrassed & apologetic abt his asexuality again it’ll be too soon. (personally, my hc for him is: tried it a few times, didn’t Hate it but didn’t particularly get what all the fuss is about, so chooses not to now. VERY cuddle-positive though.)

Yes you did but I'm afraid I'm going to respond to this anyway because I Don't Know How To Shut Up

bc like. I'm genuinely really interested by the fact that this is even a thing. like, people arguing for Jon being embarrassed/apologetic about his asexuality and/or arguing that Jon Must Be Open To Sex because like. the fact that it's canon that Jon is asexual comes from one line - Jon doesn't. Like, at all. and ymmv but like. why would you assume that comes with a sense of shame or embarrassment? like. a) Georgie cares about Jon and his wellbeing, and lbr Jon is Not Good at hiding discomfort, so I'd like to think that if it was clearly a source of shame and pain for Jon that he wasn't onto sex then I don't think she'd gossip about it. b) ok this one's maybe me inserting foot into mouth but like the line is 'Jon doesn't' not 'Jon is asexual' and for good or for ill that's pretty open to interpretation. there are a lot of reasons why someone might not have sex (and I'm on a similar vibe to you I think, although I'm not sure he's even really tried it, it just Isn't Really A Factor for him so he's like. not deeply repelled by the idea of just doesn't seem very relevant and I don't know why people wanna make that an Angsty Thing like???) and I'm not really sure how the two dominant interpretations are 'Jon has sex but is asexual' or 'Jon doesn't have sex but feels terrible and guilty and ashamed of that' as if. the facts about Jon don't largely (to me at least) suggest the interpretation that Sex Just Isn't Really A Consideration In His Relationships (only partly bc he's spending 99% of his energy wrapping his mind around the concept of Having A Meaningful Relationship Where You Trust Someone) and that's fine, as it very often is for adults in loving relationships (especially when there's so much else going on like...)

idk that's just my take though I'm interested what others think

[irrealisms]

More fic recs!

Fic recommendations (by people I know):

WE ALL THINK YOU’RE A GRAND GIRL by cryptofhoney (korethekiller) : niki in manburg, weird formatting/scriptfic. 1k

KILL YOUR PAST SELF by @honeyblockm ; not on ao3, cquackity edit 

BED [DIS]ASSEMBLY by @honeyblockm : sapnap edit. also has an itch.io link and a google drive link

 the loneliest people in the whole wide world by cryptofhoney (korethekiller) : fundy & q, 12x100

sprouts in winter by Crowley_Is_My_Copilot : another “c!dream redemption/healing arc” one, this one’s syndicate-centric; characterization is somewhat ymmv at times but the character voice is phenomenal. i could read every line of dialogue in their voices. 41k

DSMP Riordanverse AU by InfraredArmy : what it says on the tin. imagines various parts of canon as set in Riordanverse. each chapter is its own oneshot. 7k

DSMP Animorphs AU by InfraredArmy : does a similar thing with the Animorphs universe. 3k

which is why I perspire when we tango by Kaylin881 : LN-era quackity/wilbur. horny but not explicit. 2k

Hope in the Trainyard of Something Inspired by litbynosun : LN-era quackity/wilbur; q-centric, has some good q&tubbo interactions as well. 2k

everything you hid inside by monsterloot : modern supernatural au, sbi is family au, wilbur has reality-warping powers and gets a fever. 24k

nothing is wrong, all of the time by monsterloot : canon-typical exile arc. 4k

ignore the skyline by monsterloot : perpetually-unfinished modern au crimeboys roadtrip. sally’s there. 21k, unfinished

just call, i'll be here waiting by monsterloot : same universe as ignore the skyline; wilbur and quackity have a conversation, are deeply in love but also fucking doomed to never do anything or talk about it. L. 10k

oh, how i want to be free by monsterloot : tubbo is in a time loop. angsty as hell but with a happy ending. C!BEEDUO GAY DIVORCE AMEN. ranboo5’s review: “We don't need the beeduo meta anymore” 24k

maybe the path is gory (whatever it takes) by monsterloot : las nevadas/q-centric zombie apocalypse au. 6k

the sun was sinking by monsterloot : “this fic is just Imagine exile and bedrock arc but everyone has superpowers”. 8k, WIP

has the moon lost her memory? by monsterloot : crimeboys, post-clingyduo-finale; tommy, tubbo, and dream visit utah without their memories. 4k

washed up by monsterloot : wilbur is a washed up actor trying to avoid his life. tommy’s his little brother, quackity’s his agent (or something more…?) also wilbur is casually an asshole a lot in this one but in a deeply sympathetic way so I recommend it to people who are fans of that. 10k, unfinished 

blood and cigarettes by monsterloot : Wilbur’s a vampire, Quackity’s a fairy. it’s got Religion and Blood and Suicidality and Fighting With Overtones. bonus: wilbur-phil relationship crumbs. 11k

best friends by monsterloot : some sweet clingyduo, for when you need that. 2k

close your eyes by monsterloot : hunger games au! crimeboys centric, a moment of tenderness in the arena. 3k

Can you tell I'm really sorry? Let's just go home by GraphiteLocusts : ranboo & tubbo mafia au . very good, sweeter beeduo than you’d expect from graphite & spicier beeduo than you’d expect from anyone else. 2k

stomach it. by nocturne_csharpm : schlattkity (well, mostly quackity) and food/consumption. 1k

palimpest by nocturne_csharpm : sootcest (cwilbur/ghostbur) but it's about self-hate and self-harm and moments of gentleness despite it all

Draem AU (collaborative, but mostly WheelCoveredInEyes) : daemon au. follows canon from early s1 through late s3. has: fundy’s settling party; dream/wilbur in pogtopia; tommy in exile; dream/ghostbur, exile through doomsday; hog hunt; quackity pov doomsday; crimeboys in limbo; revivebur joy; sam character study. 42K and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

gentle with the knife by sesquidpedalian : techno-centric, techno and the fourth wall. 3k

oh brother i long for sleep (oh hunger i know you well) by sesquidpedalian : techno is a vampire. phil’s chill with it. 7k

in conversation with an empty room and a microphone by sesquidpedalian : DSMP SCRIPTFIC FOURTH WALL HORROR. really, really good, and the inspiration for most of the other scriptfic fourth wall horror on this list. 3k

tighten your grip round your wound-up heart by sesquidpedalian : sbi and grief. sbi and digging graves. 4k

drift down into the new dark light by sesquidpedalian : Phil under house arrest. 2k

ortolan bunting by sesquidpedalian : the wilbur/quackity badboyhalo vore stream, taken seriously. fun formatting! reads like an episode of hannibal. read this. 3k

Incarnate Inchoate by underoriginal : the only good “x goes to hermitcraft for a healing arc” i’ve ever seen. dream-centric post-prison redemption/healing arc. author is a joe hills fan and it shows (complimentary). 33k and unfinished, potentially abandoned

Try to make the most of ourselves by WheelCoveredInEyes : quackity character study; doesn’t have any supernatural elements but is heavily inspired by the Flesh from tma. begins in manburg and keeps going. as of making this list, it’s just finished burger arc. 46k, WIP.

Nothing is scarier by WheelCoveredInEyes : gray’s entry into the fourth wall horror scriptfic genre! focused on dream and the prison. 1k

the Experiencing Self is going through it by WheelCoveredInEyes : ghostbur whump, quackity’s there. 2k

[Comic] Late nights by short_tandem_repeats, WheelCoveredInEyes : q and wilbur. pogtopia-era, approximately. wilbur’s having an awful time. so’s quackity, not that wilbur would notice. <1k

Three things that never come back by WheelCoveredInEyes : the drunzbur manifesto. 12k

That's a funny trick to play on god by WheelCoveredInEyes : what if dream and george staged the wedding interruption to cockblock fundy and XD? discuss. 2k

A more careful interest on my face by WheelCoveredInEyes : alexithymic tubbo character study! EXTREMELY good! goes through snowchester/late s3. 4k

listen while I talk on against time by WheelCoveredInEyes : quackity/wilbur pogtopia-era with mythology motifs. 2k

highly fallible machines by short_tandem_repeats : dream and sam, inspired by that one s4 foolish stream. not awesamdream but there is Some Tension. 1k

looking at the void and seldom blinking by short_tandem_repeats : pogtopia era quackity/wilbur. 1k

one bright day in the middle of the night by consumptive_sphinx : PMMM au! has fics from pogtopia through dethronement; mostly quackity-centric with major appearances from wilbur, phil, and sapnap. 6K; all the fics in it are complete but the series is not

so boy just love me down down down by consumptive_sphinx : quackity gets high on MDMA, wilbur tripsits. LN-era. 1k

Greenverse by consumptive_sphinx : largely quackity-centric hunger games victor au. mind the CW tags. consists of:

would you walk the green mile : quackity-centric, with major appearances from wilbur, george, and karlnapity. has a Plot. 13k, WIP/unfinished

if i’m your body type : schlattkity-centric, schlatt pov. even worse than canon, somehow. stays in the honeymoon phase, but it’s still pretty Yikes. 2k

your talent is exquisite : dnf-centric, george pov. they love each other. it’s not enough. bonuses include bulimic dream, profoundly dissociative george, and guest appearances from punz and quackity 



Self-Promo Section (fics I wrote):

the autopsy garland : hunger games au. partly epistolary; both a dsmp fic and a video blogging rpf fic. the approximate premise is "hey, what if in the hunger games, they do all the horrible things their characters have done in the arena, but then outside of the arena they have basically the same fandom as they do in our world except for how they're being forced into it? that would be fucked up, right?" mind the CW tags. 4k

liza forever minnelli : also a hunger games au; this one’s heavily inspired by would you walk the green mile and benefits from reading it. wilbur-centric, with a solid helping of technoblade; about suicidality and forced institutionalization, so uh, mind the CW tags again. 5k

you're fairly certain there's a curtain somewhere : dsmp scriptfic fourth wall horror but by me this time; a direct response to [in conversation with an empty room and a microphone]. 1k

one must imagine Sisyphus happy : early burger arc, wilbur apologizes to quackity. 2k

under these smothering waves : canon-typical exile arc. 4k

how everything is torn : ghostbur, in the days between doomsday and the failed resurrection attempt. 2k

where you hide your heart from me : quackity/wilbur pogtopia-era wingfic. 2k

my dsmp fic recs masterpost

this one's long so i'm putting it under a cut! includes a lot of fandom favorites/ones you probably already know, but i tried to include some more niche ones as well

Author recommendations (not my friends; go read everything they wrote):

Goldenrayofsunshine

shrugofgod

odaigahara

penink

hoorayy

Zannolin

the_g_m

Author recommendations (me and people I know):

sesquidpedalian @erstwhilesparrow

WheelCoveredInEyes @blocksgame

short_tandem_repeats

consumptive_sphinx @regicidal-optimism

monsterloot @aliveburs

cryptofhoney (korethekiller) @honeyblockm

nocturne_csharpm @qwilbur

75hearts (ME! YOU ARE HERE!)

Fangame recommendations:

Good Luck, Minutes Man! by @andhyssops : visual novel about NLM-era c!ranboo. has multiple endings, great art, soundtrack, characterization, etc.

Good Morning, Gogy by @andhyssops : visual novel about c!george. again, gorgeous art, great characterization. i almost don't want to say too much about this one because so much of it is a spoiler!

Doomsday Sim by @bwobgames : doomsday platformer, tommy is the player character, buggy but pretty.

Virtual Ghostbur by @bwobgames : ghostbur tamagotchi!

Character Pattern by @bwobgames : bullet hell with various mcyts (c and cc), tommy is the player character, stupid hard but very pretty

Tommygotchi by @bwobgames : tommy tamagotchi!

Silver Dollar by @honeyblockm : president schlatt is dead. murder mystery twine game

Fic recs (people I don't know well):

devil town by hoorayy : haven’t read this one but i’ve had it recommended too many times to not include. small town horror au. 100k

aftermath by sparxwrites : dream is recovering from the prison. tommy visits him. they have a conversation. neither torture apologist nor abuse apologist! 2k

what i love and what i've lost by Treis : dream & sapnap, dream recovery/redemption/post-prison. 20k

in memoriam by hoorayy : wilbur and sapnap have a conversation. 2k

little women by chrysalizzm : women on the dsmp character study. 1k

dissonance by shrugofgod : tubbo character study!!!!! one of the best tubbo fics imo. snowchester-era. 16k

six foot deep bottom line by shrugofgod : tubbo & q conversation, cookie outpost era. 2k

How to Sex Vol. 4-58 by Goldenrayofsunshine : epistolary fic, tommy pov, canon divergent from the disc finale (punz doesn’t arrive). probably my favorite fic in the fandom. 1k

Chicken Strategy by Goldenrayofsunshine : sam-centric, lots of q also, au where q set off the prison TNT. 20k

The Roman Archives by Goldenrayofsunshine : “Tubbo dies during the disc war finale and uses his time in purgatory to unlock all the secrets of the universe.” 4.5k

Make It Right by Goldenrayofsunshine : Captain Sparklez is tubbo’s dad, crashes the disc finale. my #1 clingyduo fluffy h/c Comfort Food. 2k

Raccooniverse (zombie crossover) series by Goldenrayofsunshine : crossover with the walking dead; doesn’t require any knowledge of the walking dead. tommy-centric, follows canon very approximately for the first two seasons and a bit beyond. 162k and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

Neon Sunrise by Goldenrayofsunshine : wilbur & quackity, LN-era. 14k

draw up your sword (leave your days ashore) by Odaigahara : puffy joins the server by coming ashore at logstedshire, defends tommy. another comfort food fluffy h/c. 11k

snapshots by sparxwrites : schlatt/q relationship study. very good but mind the content warnings. 6k

the dead don’t dream by penink : what if dream killed tommy and then revived him again and then killed him and then revived him again— (crimeboys whump w a happy ending) 226k

Mafia AU by penink : mafia AU; based on Vibes rather than a specific time period but has Lots Content and Good Characterization. 219k and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

Fairweather and Foxhole Friends by penink : manburg q & tubbo. 2k

Jubilee Line Satisfaction Survey by penink : wilbur centric, some crimeboys. wilbur in the afterlife! very very good. does fun things with the format--it's a uquiz, not an ao3 fic. another competitor for my favorite fanwork from this fandom.

call this world home by Sixteenthdays, stygiomedusa (grainjew) : another dream post-prison recovery/redemption; in this one, he’s metaphysically trapped in the arctic commune. 43k

l’esprit de l’escalier by eldritchIdeologist : revivebur oneshot. 3k

cause most of us are bitter over someone by honeyblock : niki & wilbur confrontation and reconciliation. (tommy’s there too.) 19k

orphan’s path (series) by aenor_llelo, Alderous, Anarchy-Schmanarchy (Murder_Schmurder), BattleBlaze, ConcoctionsFromHell, Falrisesi, fluxphage, izziel_galaxy, Otakuforlife19, Rocket999 : starts out as a phil&techno backstory. becomes a retelling of the entire server. massively multi-pov, very good characterization, very long. has many Takes i disagree with but also a lot of good stuff. get a text replacer “Lagos” -> “Dream”. 700K and still going, although you can just read the completed parts.

tune by small_lizard : karlnapity relationships study. 4k

applaud, my friends, the comedy is over! by small_lizard : oneshot focused on niki’s birthday party. <1k

it only gets much worse by hoorayy : another q & wilbur, LN-era. 2k

good reasons to freeze to death by hoorayy : tubbo-centric, post-s3 finale (mourning ranboo). 3k

pay it forward by comradeboyhalo : the l’sandburg fic. foolish centric; badlands post-egg healing arc in which they all move onto his house. very canon-typical tone; silly and crack-y but with genuine feeling. 5k

treatise on sin and vice by the_g_m : quackity and tommy and their relationship w religion (scriptfic). 7k

plate of primes by chrysalizzm : poem about tommy. <1k

hunger by Anonymous : probably the only E-rated fic i’m including. wilbur/quackity, LN-era, wilbur provokes quackity into hurting him by pretending to be dream, it’s . fic of all time. 11k

i’m not calling you a liar by Anonymous : jk i lied. also E-rated, wilbur/quackity, LN-era. by the same author as the previous rec, similarly dead dove. lives in my brain forever. 13k

the ckarl mpreg fic by the_g_m : karl doesn’t actually get pregnant in this one. they just want him to. karlnapity, script format, crack treated seriously. 2k

sink secluded by angeloncewas : niki and wilbur, pogtopia. <1k

best laid plans by zannolin : some gentle h/c for revivebur with ranboo and tommy. a bit of a comfort food but in a good way, at least for me. 5k

said the rabbit to the badger by zannolin : crimeboys talk about exile. inconsolable differences fixit. 3k

i can’t stand your taste in my mouth by orphan_account : a really intense but also very good pogtopia-era wilbur character/relationship study. 5k

where to find a silver lining (as the mercury keeps rising) by angelsdemonsducks : cwilbur eggpocalypse fic! 10k

aaaand tumblr hates long posts so fics by people I know will be going in a reblog!

[tundrainafrica]

any angst with a happy ending levihan headcanon? 🥺👉👈 yeaaaa

Angst with happy ending levihan headcanon? I mean let’s be honest we ain’t finding this in canon anymore given what’s been happening in the latest chapters. 

So most of my headcanons fall into semi AU or AU territory. I think I said it before but most of my current really strong headcanons have already become actual full length stories. Imma just drop some of the things I’ve written which fall into semi-AU territory and are slightly angsty-er since they’re still pretty much rooted in canon:  Tale of Two Slaves and Passion Project  These were the first two fics  which came to my head when you asked me this actually

My pre-canon fic (Passion Project) is fluffy and maybe a little angsty in that small pre canon verse but we all know what happened to Levi and Hange a decade later so does it still count as a happy ending :’)

I have been coping though since 132 by writing the reincarnation AU  Tale of Two Slaves which is angsty as f but that’s generally my 40k - 50k word headcanon on how their relationship would have panned out in a reincarnation alternate universe. 

For people who haven’t read it, it’s a college reincarnation AU where Levi remembers a lot of their past life and Hange doesn’t which is angst fuel already and yes, there are reasons (possibly angsty YMMV) for why Levi remembers and Hange doesn’t which will be expounded on in the later chapters. I don’t wanna expound here because I’d rather it gets out when I actually publish the chapters XD.

It’s gonna end happily though since it is my comfort fic. I’ve also written out the whole timeline already and some of the later scenes towards the end so I can assure you that somehow, it at least satisfied my need for a happy Levihan end (?).

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[buildarocketboys]

5, 11, 16 for the quarantine asks (hopefully you haven't answered these ones yet!)

5. Are there any shows that you‘ve been planning to start watching? Why do they interest you?

I have answered this already, but basically, that Tiger King thing everyone’s talking about, Crazy Ex Girlfriend and maybe Jane the Virgin

11. What is the weirdest YouTube video you’ve ever watched?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjJNpk73vhk

This is literally just the song ‘Marry the Mole’ from Thumbelina, but my friends used to watch it all the time at uni and it’s such a weird song lol

I’ve maybe/probably seen weirder stuff but I can’t think of anything atm, except for all the basic Charlie-The-Unicorn-esque stuff that are basic cultural touchpoints foe 90s/00s kids

16. What’s the best fanfiction that you’ve ever read (or the top three if you can’t choose just one )? What about it made an impression on you?

Ooh OK. Definitely gonna do a top-ish 3  6(and tbh it’ll probably be missing some great ones but):

Grace by La Donna Ingenua - A Downton Abbey fanfic (Mary/Matthew are the main pairing) which is so so so sooooo much better than the show. I’ve reread it so many times. TW for rape and physical abuse if you read it. Also Richard is evil in this so maybe don’t read it if you like him

The Adventures of a Single Girl in London (Plus a Consulting Detective) by earlgreytea68 - I hate to be recommending Sherlock BBC fanfic in this day and age but...this fic is just so good and it’s one of the ones that I periodically come back to and reread so, has to be there

You Can’t Handle The Truth by Wind_Ryder - modern au Flinthamiltons, painful but so. damn. good.

Rick Macy and the Blue Whistling Thrush by Iphys - a HP AU of In The Flesh, focusing on Rick (and one of the best OCs I’ve ever read). Absolutely gutting and angsty af (that’s...kind of a pattern with these...) and so so good. Another one I’ve read multiple times

A Reflection of Starlight by AutumnGracy - the ultimate Post-Seine fic, and possibly the longest I have been following a fanfic (when will it return from the war/hiatus). Think this will be the only one on the list that isn’t completed.

The View from Here by mokuyoubi - this is (fortunately or unfortunately, ymmv) the fic that got me into bandom fic/shipping (thanks @judasisgayriot). Just a perfect fic. Viva la brencer, bitches!

[locria-writes]

wait so I'm confused will the endings be angsty ending+somewhat good epilogue or is the epilogue angsty as well, or do u mean that ending = epilogue? If all of it is angsty, do you ever plan on making a sequel, but with the same cast? Bc you said that the ending is basically the real beginning of their journey and all that? (I think I've heard you saying that some of the couples will have kids in the epilogues and if MC/Val/Lo are still broken by then..welp, guess the cycle continues..)

the ending is angsty-ish (ymmv probably), but idk if i wanna write an epilogue now tbh. i’ve kind of developed a deep fondness for relatively open endings, so maybe no epilogue?

regardless, nothing beyond chapter 4 is set in stone yet, so i could change my mind. i have the resolve of a cucumber when it comes to these things and can be very easily persuaded, cajoled, and bribed

[locktobre]

If Hans was never revealed as the bad guy/villain/trolls-messed -with-his-head guy, do you think Elsa would’ve ever accepted him? (If Elsa even ever came back to the palace that is) or would Hans & Anna get married without her approval? Also in this scenario… what happens with Kristoff? Does he just Un-falls in love with Anna & move on with his ice business? or would HE become the villain due to the unrequited love? 🤔

This is a difficult question to answer, bc like all canon-based AUs, the way it plays out largely depends on the point at which it diverges from canon. So I'll do my best but YMMV.

I'm going to tackle this on the assumption that the movie is the exact same until the almost-kiss scene. It can be argued that Hans going up the mountain and putting Elsa in the dungeon is a part of his villainy, BUT she was a very real danger to the kingdom, and the movie itself I think tries to play this off as 'misguided nice guy' since the actual reveal is not until later. So I'm going to keep all that intact. It all plays out the same until the almost-kiss, which is an actual kiss in this AU bc Hans isn't randomly evil.

So the question now becomes, does the kiss work? Are they actually in love? Is it a sufficient act of true love to thaw Anna's heart? I am going to say yes, they are in love and it does work, for 2 reasons: 1) I hate the cynicism of the actual movie, and 2) If it doesn't work, what act of true love would save Anna instead? As much as I love her saving herself, if Hans isn't evil and doesn't attack Elsa, Anna can't sacrifice herself and unfreeze her own heart. So then what, she just dies? That wouldn't go anywhere except maybe Hans would actually hunt Elsa down for real. But that's not really a productive AU. Angsty, yes, but nothing to do with the question you asked. So we're not gonna do that. (Okay, I might try to play this out at the end, but I'm going with the other option first.)

So the kiss works, Anna is thawed, and then, now that she isn't actively dying anymore, Anna would have other problems to deal with, like the winter and Elsa. So after a moment of victory where she celebrates and confirms to herself, YES she was in love and she knew it and everyone else was WRONG, she would need to deal with the winter. And she'd have to acknowledge that talking to Elsa really didn't work, but if her heart can be thawed so can everything else, right? At this point Olaf would come in and Hans would probably be very confused about the whole thing but Anna's alive so that's good, and this snowman isn't trying to attack him so that's probably fine.

And about this time, Elsa would break out of the dungeon, just like canon (since she's still separate, her events would play out the same). And they would notice the castle starting to freeze and the storm getting worse, and Anna would be confused since Elsa is all the way on the North Mountain--and Hans would be like haha about that... She is actually here... And Anna is like WHAT and they both go down to the dungeon and see that Elsa is gone, so they head out onto the ice to try to find Elsa.

Once they find her, Hans can give a similar speech except without the ending where Anna dies, the ending is instead Anna saying but look, I'm fine! You didn't kill me, I'm okay, I still love you and I still believe in you. And Elsa realizes that Anna will still love her no matter what, so the whole 'love' ending with everything thawing could play out more or less the same.

Except when the storm clears, Kristoff sees Hans and Anna together and that the kiss worked (and Anna was right), so when they see him he just says he hung around to see if Anna was okay (he turned back like canon, since he was separate and unaffected by the changes that happened, so he is lying). One thing I will say is that Kristoff does not seem like a Nice Guy entitled type, so I think he may pine for awhile but he would get over it.

Anyway, since Hans saved Anna's life here, Elsa would have to accept him, and the fact that she was wrong (and Anna was right). But since he's here to take care of Anna, I think Elsa might say right away that she doesn't want to be queen so she'd go back up to the ice palace after the wedding. Anna would probably be worried, but Kristoff would say he'd look out for Elsa and besides, she can clearly take care of herself. (Groundwork for kristelsa I suppose...) I guess Anna can't technically be queen until she's 21, that's apparently Arendelle law, but Elsa managed just fine before her coronation so whatever. Happily ever after. (Altho how F2 events would play out here would be another question, but that's getting off the subject.)

So it wouldn't actually be super different except Elsa leaving Arendelle much earlier and Kristoff spending less time in town. But Elsa would probably come down sometimes, and Anna would go to see her, and they'd be fine.

And I guess if you want to go the cynical route where the kiss doesn't work, not for evil reasons just bc they're two affection-starved kids and [narrator voice] the feeling was friendship, but neither had ever experienced it... So the kiss doesn't work, they're sitting there trying to figure out why bc doesn't it FEEL like we're in love? And we were so sure but now we don't know... And then Elsa breaks out of the dungeon, Anna's going to die but she wants to go after Elsa to tell her that she doesn't blame her (or whatever excuse to get her on the ice), Hans and Olaf help her out there...

And Kristoff runs into Elsa on the ice, and she's Anna's sister but what good did that do her? Anna is dying and he's supposed to go to her, but Elsa is right there and maybe Kristoff gives a speech instead about how messed up it is that she hurt her own sister, and maybe Anna throws herself between Elsa and Kristoff instead? It's harder to imagine Kristoff actually physically doing anything to Elsa, especially without knowing if Anna is okay or not, so it's harder to see this counting as an Act of True Love since there's no actual violence that Anna would be intercepting. But it would be an interesting flip of the dynamic. Much less likely, tho, imo.

TL;DR yes Elsa accepts Hans and gives her blessing. Kristoff is sad but gets over it. (And maybe kristelsa instead.)

P.S. As fun as it is, I don't believe the trolls did anything to Hans, simply bc I can't figure out any way they could have cast any spells or curses on him, since they never even remotely interact. Unless they did something to Anna, and she carried the magic down to Hans and it transferred when they touched or something, but that seems unnecessarily complicated for an idea that's already on thin ice (pun fully intended). Unless Hans somehow ran into the trolls when he was going up the mountain... but they can look like rocks if they want and they have no reason to reveal themselves to him, especially bc they wouldn't know about Anna at the time he ran into them, unless it was on the way down bc they for some reason did not take the same route back... It just doesn't make sense. It's a tantalyzing idea, but I just don't see how it would actually work.

[velocityvsreality]

@canmom tagged me in a name 10 songs you’re currently vibing with meme (admittedly about 2 months ago or something) so I thought it would actually do it as I’m going to do more personal writing on here intermittently.

QUAY DASH//I NEED A BAG: Jfc, if Quay Dash didn’t exist then humanity would have to invent her. Monumentally charismatic and forceful trans woman rapper, style icon, etc etc. This track+video are totally too cool for me but nice to bask in the presence of greatness.

PUMAROSA//PRIESTESS: Super melodramatic throbby indie trance thing. I love everything about this song: it’s gay, it’s occulty, it’s got a saxophone solo, and it goes on for like 7 minutes. I find this massively life-affirming and confidence-building in a number of different ways. YMMV if you are not terrible 90s scum maybe, as the blueprint for their sound is definitely left-field radio indie singles from that decade.

PJ HARVEY+BJORK//SATISFACTION: I’m gay. This is also pretty gay. Somehow this is better than I remember/expect every time.

ALT-J//DEADCRUSH: Can’t stand these awful self-indulgent stoner boys usually, but this is a Great Single. Combination of post-Four Tet production with one of the iconic 4-chord patterns and mangled synth catboy vocals is super great for me aesthetically right now. Textually I suspect that it’s gibberish but it’s a nice bit of modern psychedelia.

TORI AMOS//RASPBERRY SWIRL: I used to love FROM THE CHOIRGIRL HOTEL when I was a shitty student egg, and I only got back into it recently. People have specific impressions of Tori Amos, but this song goes so fucking hard honestly. It’s like some sort of attempt to recreate a techno-like sound from first principles in an extremely damaged way, and the vocal sounds like she’s speaking in tongues.

ALICE COLTRANE//OM RAMA: This is just the most transcendent and cleansing piece of music, honestly it’s like your soul has just come out of the shower or something. Its rare that I get a lot out of music that’s intended to be directly spiritual or religious, but this is overwhelmingly brilliant and affecting. There’s a lot of psych/spiritual/jazz fusion wank in the world but this is the absolute real deal.

SILVER MT ZION//ANY FUCKING THING YOU LOVE:  I’ve had a string of bereavements over the last three years and a lot of sad, bleak or angsty music I used to like started to look very foolish. This song and the EP it’s from are the opposite of that. This is like a long remix of an earlier ASMZ song that puts the female backing vocals at the forefront and adds in blarey distant foghorns and distorted 808 beats, and it sometimes seems like the only music of its type made in a world I recognise. “This one’s for the lost ones and the dead ones and the ones who fell away/Still search for words to describe the pain”

RIHANNA//CHEERS (DRINK TO THAT): I love how relaxed and almost mournful-sounding Rihanna’s vocal is on this song. It’s an amazing drinking song imo, always super welcome at the end of a long week.

KENDALL KELLY//HETEROSEXUAL SEX: No amount of googling will help me find out who the woman on this song is, otherwise I’d credit her. This is an obscure classic and everyone should know and love it. It’s got a sort of queercore Flying Lizards vibe, up to and including a fake guitar solo, and it once caused a straight housemate to leave the room in a huff. This makes me super happy in a gay synthpoppy way.

ROOKSFEATHER//DEEP NAUSEA: This whole album is painfully, scourgingly beautiful throughout, but the climactic (and title) track goes even beyond that. The use of almost-whispered, hyperfragile vocals and disorientingly immense digitally clipped synth sounds means that the choral entry 3/4 of the way through the song is uniquely devastating. It is a capital letter Experience and I cry every time, basically.

this was much longer than I thought it’d be, sorry for clogging ppl’s dashboards. I’m supposed to tag people but I’m that mutual who never talks to anyone - please feel free to ignore? @scrungus-among-us, @lapecheroyale, @alyesque, @rat-posts, @welcomeprincessovhell, @sapphic-giraffic @art-twink, @onetoconsume

[elizabethrobertajones]

hi! i really don't want to bother you but I was wondering if you know where I could find an up to date list of the best destiel heavy episodes? (i know this is subjective but i'm fine with trusting someone else's opinion on what they think are the best ones). i really want to rewatch a bunch of episodes and I wouldn't even know where to start when trying to compile such a list myself. i've tried googling but the things i saw weren't up to date. it's okay if you can't help. have a nice day! :]

Hm, I think I saw someone asking recently - @clusterjam or @k-vichan and I apologise to whichever one of you it wasn’t >.> 

The list of all 100 of Misha’s episodes is going around in gifset form so that’s a good start - at least it narrows down the number of overall episodes a lot, and I don’t think there are any of the traditionally recognised type of Destiel episode that DON’T have Cas in even if my personal list would include some unskippable ones even if they were just serving some part of the story thematically. 

Thinking about the later seasons I’m just going to copy all the episodes from season 10 onwards off of Superwiki’s list of episodes (because they’re all next to each other, so apologies if the lists you found missed season 8 or 9) and then delete the ones I don’t think have a whole lot of Destiel in them and see what’s left :P This is very unscientific and not very well researched because I haven’t rewatched most of this since the dark ages

10.01 Black

10.02 Reichenbach

10.03 Soul Survivor

 10.05 Fan Fiction

10.09 The Things We Left Behind

 10.14 The Executioner’s Song

 10.20 Angel Heart

 10.22 The Prisoner

 11.03 The Bad Seed

11.04 Baby

 11.10 The Devil in the Details

 11.11 Into the Mystic

 11.18 Hell’s Angel

 11.23 Alpha and Omega

 12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On

12.02 Mamma Mia

12.03 The Foundry

 .>)

12.07 Rock Never Dies

 12.09 First Blood

 12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

12.19 The Future

12.23 All Along the Watchtower