#maybe my art isnt as bad as i thought it was
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crawlin back to you.
#trying out traditional art againnn!#having fun!!#maybe my art isnt as bad as i thought it was#<- will diminish this thought everytime it gets bad again#anyways hope u like these !#tntduo#tntduo fanart#c!tntduo#c!quackity#c!wilbur#c!quackity fanart#c!wilbur soot fanart#dsmp fanart#arties
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i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them
#pokemon#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon jacq#n harmonia#pokemon rei#trainer rei#clai's art#trying to write n's specific brand of being mean is hard to me for some reason#in the initial idea i had him outright call volo stupid but i didnt know if that was too far so i just took it out BJFBFJF#but anyway volo being a historian who had to have studied many walks of life but has still come to the conclusion that the world is hopeless#jacq being someone who's very positive and sees the best in people even if they are very much not great to him (see: raifort)#finally realizing someone he knows is like. inexcusably horrible#n's situation wasn't even that different from volo's. both saw injustice in society and sought to change it#but even n. who hated humanity for what he thought they were all responsible for. didnt want humans to Die for what they did!!#and rei. rei was a scared kid who saw the very worst of volo firsthand. rei needed friends and one of them despised him in the end#isnt it soooo funny how volo thinks he's alone yet keeps pushing away all the people who want to connect with him :) i hate pla so much :)))#as another note too. perhaps the rei thing could end in two ways#satisfying good ending where it kicks off volo's realization that hey maybe people do trust me unconditionally#or no good bad ending where volo takes this as another betrayal. rei only liked him for his facade like everyone else so why does it matter#volo almost makes me feel as ill as n does. hate this stupid guy i shouldnt have bought pla for my birthday i should have gotten. p/kmin idk
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Out there, somewhere
or: hey BB-8, ya like sand?
(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)
#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#star wars#rey skywalker#bb8#star wars sequel trilogy#i’d love to see the night sky from the desert one day#the light pollution isnt too bad here#but the first time i saw a shooting star i thought it was a plane about to crash#anyway it was like magic#i like to think rey spent her nights on jakku stargazing#maybe imagining which star her parents were on…#MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION: DOES REY LIKE SAND#oh my god does bb8 like sand#guys bb8 is the best and also an absolute baby#*lighter thumbs up*
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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vaquero mikey..............
#rottmnt#rottmnt au#rise of the tmnt#rise of the tmnt au#rottmnt fanart#rise mikey#rottmnt mikey#peachmoths art tag#ive been thinking a lot about the cowboy au and how its more of a spaghetti western and not just a simple ranch hand vaqueros au#dont get me wrong spaghetti westerns arent bad but i just want them to be ranchers to be real cowboys not chasing some revenge vendetta#this isnt part of the cowboy au i think its my own au something like ranch au or rodeo au? maybe even vaqueros au#who knows i just know ive been thinking about the rise turtles as simple cowpoke not chasing after some silly vendetta#they just work on their dads ranch making sure the cattle are taken care of#aughwheu i actually have so many thoughts about a domestic cowboy rancher au please pleasr please someone talk to me about it#vaqueros au#rottmnt vaqueros au
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i made a few mistakes in this but u have to forgive me bc theyre not my ocs
(these are mippy (it/its) and nidus (he/him plural), belonging to @doodlerh!!!!)(i hope it's okay for me to draw fanart of them)
#writing the image description for this kinda baffled me but i think its okay??#maybe#anyway these sillies have had me in a chokehold since i saw them so i decided to draw them#also medibang isnt actually as bad as i thought it would be#one might even say that it is good#uhhhh anyway how do i tag this ive never fanarted someone elses oc before#artists on tumblr#digital art#not my oc#nidus#mippy#oc fanart#oc art#oh my god those stupid cows finally stopped mooing#genuinely they have been mooing outside my window LITERALLY NONSTOP for about 4 hours#like. i love cows but. not after the 432nd moo. thank you#okay im gonna post this now
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guys the light deity is literally called light WEAVER ...... it makes sense to have pupa/grub dragons. they are weaving
#pinescreeches#flight rising#the fr drama has been crazy of late. honestly very interesting to watch#my 2 cents if anyone cares. i love the everlux#so grubby and fat and ugly#we need more ugly dragons ... which maybe is hypocritical since i didn't like dusthides. but they weren't really trying to be ugly. i think#this isnt' about them though#the sundial / seam ripper horn??? the grub/pupa/caterpillar themes???#they remind me of weaver ants ....#anyways people complaining about artwork problems as if every fr artwork doesn't have ten billion issues with it#ESP THE OLD BREEDS ... LIKE#it's ok it's the fr artstyle to be a bit bad i accept it and welcome it#and it's ok to just not like a dragon breed ... i'm insanely picky with mine#for instance i love the concept n stuff of tundras but i hate the actual art for it ... idk why#and i've never really been a fan of snappers. maybe cuz their art is so old (same w tundras)#also for bug phobic people ..... ok i get it. phobias are uncontrollable and irrational#some things are just gonna set it off even though it doesn't make any sense#and fear usually makes people aggressive to what scares them#but there is no need to be so violent towards everlux ....#like if someone had a dog phobia it would not be ok for them to be like “i hate how canid they look i hope they get wiped out and die” or#detailing gruesome imagery#so why is it ok when it's a bug ....#i mean i know why but i'm asking rhetorically here#man idk sometimes u are just not gonna like things and thats ok not everything is for you... like i don't like dusthides that much but that#okay. it's okaayyyy#writing a ten page paragraph over here in my tags#i just have a lot of thoughts
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wanted to do the hev suits like this started out to be but! well! gordo lineup
#art#half life#hlvrai#freeman's mind#gorgeous freeman#gordon freeman#gordon freemind#gordon feetman#hoping my writing isnt too bad LOL#kinda disjointed n not perfect but i wanted to solidify a few things#also the hla damage was bc of the advisors attack which is a litte further than i wanted this lineup to be#but how could i resistttttttt#i need to rewatch/play hl to figure out when best hed have a broken ankle. im thinking in hl1 but gman would. probably fix that?#but i it could work somewhere in hl2 orrrr ep1? sure. why not#morphine+the suit+Need To Survive you kinda learn to live w it#uh oh im rambling again. oh well#i wanted to give mind more damages like missing claws at LEAST but i need to think more#he def like . absolutely doesnt have hearing in that ear LMAO#scarring on hev suit from prime doesnt make much sense since its extra padded#but his model suggests otherwise??? idk i dont care. im giving him scars#im thinking mind n prime confide a lot together. i think theuy can be kinda friends maybe. listen... it could work#i have so so so so many thoughts you dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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#me the past few days:#“why am I so anxious and scatter brained? why are my sh habits coming back? I'm doing fine. My pain isnt even that bad rn.”#i thought at first i was dehydrated because I've been drinking less water but i realized today#im fucking exhausted#a storm ripped the roof off the hospital where I work last week#so needless to say work's been fucking weird AND busy#I've been churning out art like never before since figuring out AMM#I'm trying to get my life together and feeling a real drive and motivation to do that#I've never been so burnt out on things that I love before#i also realized I'm still mourning my grandmother#that was still less than a month ago and fuck it I'm sad#i need to rest but just dont know how rn#maybe I'll figure out after work#i hope i do
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everyone has to like my fanfiction or i'll die...
why am i so sensitive about my writing in a way that I am not about art. I'm not good at art and i'm gonna be at peace with this. But the writing.... I'm not good at that either but i say that without an ounce of peace in my heart.
#Captain Speaking#i need to be good at this i need people to look and i need people to understand#ughhhh i stopped writing in high school back when i thought i was good because i realized it meant so much to me and i was afraid of uhhh#judgement i guess#and now i havent written anything in over ten years so YEAH im not that good but oh mygod...#i'll die about it right now#And everyone is telling me that its good and i dont! believe them! they are being nice because it isnt bad#but your writing not being BAD does not mean its GOOD#i'm tired of being mediocre!!!!!!!!!!!#if im not really good at something what is the fucking point of being alive#i thought it woudl be art and it isnt art im not good at that and i definitely gave it the old college try#i went to college and got into debt because i thought that would force me to be good at art#and it didnt!!!! I am the same!! worse maybe????#no not worse#but at least the same#but the writing....#anyway i'm rambling but my point is HEY THATS THE THING IM SENSITIVE ABOUT
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everyone whittled me down and i watched arcane. it was alright
#cherryz txt#i like the art direction more than anything but thats just cus im a freak about that shit u know#if its candy to my eyedbarls i forgive many a sin#idk if it had many problems at all tho it was pretty tight story telling#im not too good at picking apart themes and stuff in media my brain small but i enjoyed the like#throughpoint narratively of letting go or refusing thereof if that makes any damn sense#congrats on the lesbian sex also. & i guess the doomed yaoi#which is so funny to me bcus jayce immediately pegged me as a straightboy . is that just me#like . maybe hes bi but hed defs be in the phase of like .refusing to acknowledge it u know#too busy distracting himself wiht beautiful women to even begin processing his situationship w viktor#idk i think its funny how i was told THERES YAOI!! and yuri! and the focus of the show is the yuri not the yaoi#like ..... its so funny ppl refuse to focus on the women even tho theyre actually so well devolped and more interesting than the men#which is not to say the men are badly written far from it theyre just arguably not the Primary Focus#tho admittedly the primary focus isnt even character based its the overarching story#the characters and their developments basically persist to strengthen the story i feel#which is again not a bad thing in fact its quite lovely. again very tight story telling.#im going on a tangent LOL it was alright in my book! very technically impressive and well thought out#props to all the artists and writers and people working on it#i think it just hasnt gripped me as strongly as it has others and thats entirely a personal thing u know#some things just click and others dont. so it goes!#i am however in jinx's corner now and forever . fuck league of legends tho never touching that shit with a ten foot pole#if u read all these hiiiiiiii ^_^ hi haiii hehee
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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#idk man. i think im just gonna post any remaining art i have and then just quit. it just isnt fun anymore? idk#life mostly isnt fun anymore tbh. i had a bad night/morning at work and just. its making me think abt things#mainly the thought that keeps running through my head is whats the point?#i think the only thing that makes me happy rn is my dogs. one is turning 10 next week and thats making me v depressed on top of everything#maybe ill change my mind lmao i probably will but. even thinking abt being creative makes me so sad for some reason#which sucks! everything fucking sucks the only emotions i feel lately is anger depression anxiety and embarrassment#and ive been trying to be optimistic but theres only so much positivity in me. i cant do this shit anymore#maybe things will get better or at least not get worse but that seems unlikely#ignore me
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I will continue being gone for a few days, sadly my original al plan of releasing the newest chapter of The Consequence Of Imagination's Fear has also been delayed. My apologies
Can't go into detail because its hush hush not-legally-mentionable stuff but today is my fifth 12 hour no-break work day. I'm also packing to move too in a fortnight (which is a Big Yahoo!! Yippee!! I'll finally have access to a kitchen!! And no more mold others keep growing!!! So exciting!!!)
#syncrovoid.txt#delete later#OKAY SO! this makes it sound like i have a super important job but really we are understaffed and ive barely worked there a year now#graduated college a few years early 'cause i finished high school early (kinda? it's complicated)#now i am in a position where i am in the role of a whole Quality Assurance team (testing and write ups)#a Task Manager/Planner#Software Developer and maybe engineer? not sure the differences. lots of planning and programming and debugging ect ect#plus managing the coworker that messed up and doing his stuff because it just isnt good enough. which i WILL put in my end day notes#our team is like 4 people lol. we severely need more because rhe art department has like 10 people??#crunch time is.. so rough..#its weirdddddd thinking about this job since its like i did a speedrun into a high expectations job BUT in my defense i was hired before#i graduated. and like SURE my graduating class had literally 3 people so like there was a 86%-ish drop out rate??#did a four year course in 2 BY ACCIDENT!! i picked it on a whim. but haha i was picked to give advice and a breakdown on the course so it#could be reworked into a 3 year course (with teachers that dont tell you to learn everything yourself) so that was neat#im rambling again but i have silly little guy privileges and a whole lot of thoughts haha#anywho i am SO hyped to move!! I'll finally get away from the creepy guy upstairs (i could rant for days about him but he is 0/10 the worst)#it will be so cool having access to a kitchen!! and literally anything more than 1 singular room#(it isnt as bad as it sounds i just have a weird life. many strange happenings and phenomenons)#<- fun fact about me! because why not? no one knows where i came from and i dont 100% know if my birthday is my birthday#i just kinda. exist. @:P#i mean technically i was found somewhere and donated to some folks (they called some different people and whoever got there first got me)#but still i think it is very silly! i have no ties to a past not my lived one! i exist as a singularity!#anywho dont think about it too hard like i guess technically ive been orphaned like twice but shhhhhhhh#wow. i am so sleep deprived. i am so so sorry to anyone who may read this#i promise im normal#@:|
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marvel should hire me to write bc i'd pull the funniest thing on earth where i am wiping his catholic slate CLEAN and i would explcitily have him go ehhhh i've never really been religious me and my dad went some easters and christmases and attended a few services outside of that but that stopped by the time i was around 10 and my dad just kinda gave up on it because he didn't particularly want to go by that point either. and even then we hadn't gone every year for easter and christmas in that time frame. and then we never bring that shit up again in the story. he is only catholic in the sense he went a few times and it's the only church experience he knew and his dad probably grew up going to church more in his youth being dragged in by his family but he never felt particularly compelled to go back to it once he moved out on his own. catholic only in the fact that his family was irish catholic but his dad is a lapsed catholic who did not give a fuuuuuck
#based off my own father's filipino catholic experiences. and my own religious experiences in general. bc my mom's protestant but still didnt#raise me religiously. i've been to church a handful of times and it was never bad but it never ever stuck. i just kinda remember some stuff#and what i do know it's more from the general cultural osmosis of american christianity than anything#plus i grew up in a known for its religiosity suburb. but again. that still didnt really rub off on me.#in my mind jack is a guy who when entering a church will still dip his fingers in the holy water and cross with it#and matt watches and maybe mimics but he doesnt really get it still bc their service attendance has been so extremely infrequent.#so i imagine it's far more like that for matt than the insane bs they've been pullin the last few years. given the you know.#50 somethings years of established only really culturally casually catholic matt. bc well. why wouldnt he be new york irish catholic.#i imagine is the thought process. but i will never be a fan of how it's a big deal now. bc it just never has been. ever#and that's not to say a character cannot become religious or be religious or have it become more of a thing in their life!#very much it can be done. but i think it's been done piss poor. from all i've seen and what i've read of recent stuff. so it's just bad.#like it isnt done in a meaningfully way or sensical to my understanding. it's like. pure show pandering fanon appeal.#so it's utterly meaningless as a whole with no point or purpose aside from it#can we go back to just using it for cool art visuals bc i think we can all appreciate a cool splash page of a church fight and stuff#but please. dont try to make it more than that if you arent going to do it well#SORRY I KNOW EVERYONE ON PLANET DD HAS MADE THIS POST BUT I REMEMBER AND GET SOOOOO IRRITATED!!!!! IT'S SO STUPID POINTLESS DUMB I HATE ITT#static.soundz
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ITS NATIONAL CLOWN WEEK POST YOUR FAVOURITE CLOWN BEFORE IT ENDS TODAY!!!!
#national clown week#Antrigus Ant Archeury(oc)#ryry ocs#:3#i cant rmemeber my art tag ill fix it. eventually.#me talking#i guess.#yeah.#posting this everywhere before the day ends#picture isnt cropped thats embarrassing my bad everypony.#ryan art#i really thought it was ryry art wtf#crayz.#maybe mixing up with my oc tag idk#I HATE ANATOMY!!!#it ok nobody gonna see this anyways sooooo#may or may not draw mime htf at some point even though he is a mime not a clown.
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