#maybe men dont actually care a lot of the time because it still gives them privilege over women. just maybe

[anarchistgumball]

when an oppressor experiences negative effects of their own oppression, i dont think the answer should be that we actually need to fight for them specifically and make their lives better. maybe if we dealt with the root issue and helped the oppressed, maybe, just maybe, they also wouldnt experience those consequences

[honeytonedhottie]

decentering men and recentering urself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･💅🏽💓

the secret to decentering men and not having ur entire world revolving around them (bcuz it should be revolving around you, duh) is having a fulfilling life. it makes me ICK so bad when im watching a video or reading a post and im rly loving it, and then it'll find SOME way to make it revolve around men. like can we not?…💬🎀

WHY WE CENTER THE OPPOSITE SEX ;

a lot of people find themselves centering their lives around the opposite sex in an attempt to fill a void within themselves. they do it because they aren't happy with themselves or their lives, or maybe its learned behavior. whatever the reason is, its NOT hot.

some things that someone who centers men might think are "oh my life is so boring, maybe it would be spiced up if i got with a man" or "maybe it'll bring some excitement into my day" like EUGHHH. obviously the solution is to find ways to make our lives fulfilling but how do we do that? and how do we get to the root cause and squash this self sabotaging behavior?

SELF AWARENESS ;

if u have nothing going on for u, ofc ur gonna be energetically desperate and accepting anything and EVERYTHING. practice self awareness and try to get to the root cause of why u center men through things like shadow work, therapy, or just straight up having an honest conversation with urself cuz i swear it helps.

when you make the conscious effort to build ur dream life you'll notice that people that are on the same mindset as you will vibe with the REAL you. the need to fake/adjust urself to fit in with other people will dissipate because ur fitting into ur own standards and ur connections will be more meaningful because of it.

TAKE UR POWER BACK ;

no ones actions should ruin ur day or make u upset for more then a day (even less) cuz its YOUR world. ���🍰

make time for YOU, doll. plan self care routines for urself every week. doing face masks, journalling, vision boarding, WHATEVER U LIKE TO DO. making time for urself reminds u that ur the main character of ur life so u dont have to settle for crumbs.

stop giving that power to someone else and dictate how u feel, NOT the actions of a significant other or the opposite sex or anybody. the reason why its important to make sure that ur the center of ur own life is so that you can be happy and fulfilled regardless of if there is a man or if there isnt a man present. so the objective is to decenter men -> and then put yourself at the center

GET A HOBBY ;

find something to make ur life fulfilling. pursue ur OWN interests and try out different hobbies if ur unsure of what ur interests are yet. cultivate ur world to the point where it GLEAMS with perfection and then do a little extra. build a life that u love so much that whether u get male attention or validation doesnt even matter cuz their opinions have little to no relevance 💀

challenge yourself: next time you catch yourself thinking, ‘would a guy like this?’ flip it and ask urself "hey, do i like this?" start checking with yourself first instead of checking with others.

MAKING THE DECISION TO DECENTER MEN ;

decentering men simply means that ur deciding to no longer think, feel, act, dress, or plan ur life around a man or for the validation of any man…💬🎀

relationships will actually get BETTER when u decenter the opposite sex. cuz ur not looking for someone to compete with and ur whole on ur own. this sets the stage for balance and mutual respect and THATS hot.

you can be in a relationship and still decenter men. decentering men simply means that you are the priority, not the relationship. how can we tell if we're decentering men or not? here are a few questions to help you know if u are ->

if i did not care about looking good to the opposite sex what would i actually like to wear?

if i did not get married, how could i create the best and most abundant life for myself?

what hobbies/interests do i have that dont involve being around men/have male attention as a component of it?

[heartssatoru]

Hey! I love your HCs so far! If you do smut could you do JJK men wanting to have sex or are horny and how they go about asking you/initiating it? (Gojo, Megumi, Sukuna, and Itadori)

Yes of course! I know a lot of my readers request fluff so if you don't like smut im so sorry😭

Characters: gojo, megumi, sukuna, itadori

Warnings: smut smut smut!! Afab reader

I have a few request im working on, to all the others that requested! :)

Gojo

In public:

Starts off flirty but then becomes needy cause he's extremely horny

At a date

Slips up and tells you a dirty joke by accident. And does that little giggle

It maybe depends, because there's times where he thinks he can hold it but can't

Most of the time he hints it. If you don't get it then he'll say it shamelessly

Doesn't care if its in public or not. He just wants relief.

He kinda does care😭 but doesn't at the same time.

Bathroom, alley way, really whatever. Tries to make sure no ones really there though

Someone spots you two? Oh shit let him finish atleast

Tells you to just relax but it's extremely hard when his cock is pounding into you

If your hiding your moans then he'll make you either way. Cause that's just offensive to him

Will deny your organsm if you hide them too. So lesson learned

Megumi:

At home:

Tries to ignore it. But its too much to even ignore, wouldn't be surprised if you could notice

Prefers to hint because he feels embarrassed. No matter how much you tell him he doesn't need too.

You already know because that's always how he gets when he's horny

Doesn't want to risk being caught. And he always makes that clear.

Always at home no matter what. He can wait, maybe..

Excusing that, he skilled with his fingers, and always uses his fingers to prep you

He doesn't want to cause you pain. Really just pleasure for both of you.

Will be a little hard or deny your organsm if he's having a bad day. But still will let you cum

By the time he's done you guys will be fast asleep, but always makes sure you fall asleep first.

Sukuna

anywhere, literally doesn't care:

Will straight up tell you. Maybe if you don't take so long he'll actually be nice to you.

1% chance of that. But its better then nothing!

Will fuck you anywhere. Unlike gojo, he has nothing to worry about

Doesn't even care if anyone sees. They'll simply see how much of a slut you are for his cock

Said by him of course

Does it for his own pleasure, if he's feeling nice he'll let you cum

Also if you try and touch yourself then thats another reason why he shouldn't.

Abuses your poor cunt, especially with his size

Rough, but knows your limits. Maybe goes aganist them every one in awhile to see your fucked face

Cause it drives him near the edge even more.

Itadori

Feels guilty each time so he always tries to go on without anything

However if he's desperate will beg you to let him fuck you

Makes sure your comfortable and everything. Sweet as hell

But just because of that dont expect to not be teased

Will always let you cum though, unlike the others, besides megumi

Goes gentle, unless you want it hard he can do that. Just doesn't want to hurt you

Asks every once in awhile just to make sure your comfortable and everything

No matter how tired he is, will still try to clean you up afterwards

Gives you the best care. Would feel guilty once again, if he didn't

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok so this is a question that i wish was discussed more in other spicy spaces without getting either too careful or too obviously an expression of people's unrealistic fantasies. what do you think attracts will to mike, both in terms of emotional and physical attraction?

there's lots of discussion about mike's attraction to will because that's thought to be what we need more of in the show, and people are happy to talk about will's physical attributes like his ass. but when will's attraction to mike is discussed, its always in the context of emotion and love and friendship becoming romantic, but never physical. there's not much in the way of will's fantasies or him being allowed to have a purely physical aspect to his love for mike, which is so sad to me because it reflects the thematic castration of will in the show (@therainscene did a great post on this about the lack of posters and sexuality in will's room etc).

i personally think the dnd alter egos give lots of hints about why will is emotionally attracted to mike, but at the same time, physicality and presence is a huge part of medieval/roleplay, so Will MUST have thought about mike's physicality in his fantasies, surely?

i wonder if there's not a lot of spec on this because people find there to be a dissonance between finn/mike's body and what they think mike's character represents in the show to a negative degree? whereas for will, even though his muscle development isnt **exactly** in line with will's character, society considers muscles to be a good thing so the change doesnt upset anyone. (not to say muscular men can't be sensitive, but the duffers probably would have chosen him to remain more delicate if they had a choice)

i personally think that mike's awkwardness due to finn's physicality has always been present and a big part of what makes the show so endearing, esp in s1. its only because there's an expectation for blockbuster scale epic fight scenes now, big music, big action, that people start to think mike needs to be this Baddie. I like the idea of him having a moment, but i dont need him to be wielding a sword like a badass and Looking Cool 24/7. Mike isnt traditionally cool, i need him to stay that a nerd lol.

maybe this is also why i think there would be something so powerful about a byler sex scene, because the more awkward/realistic/nerdier the better? it doesnt need to be traditionally sexy, but it WOULD be sexy just because of the fact that it would be mike and will and them getting together is intrinsically sexy.

i hope this makes sense lol sorry for the essay

EXCELLENT TOPIC! So many good points. You're absolutely correct about all of this - there is a definite line it seems, with more focus given to how Mike views Will, versus what made Will develop feelings and attraction to Mike, beyond the "we're best friends and I want you in my life forever"-ness of it all. I love talking about what Mike loves about Will, but let's hype up the other side of this coin.

This may sound so odd, but I genuinely think sometimes it's forgotten in general spaces that Will is gay? And what that actually means. Like he's a gay guy. Who is attracted to men and ultimately wants to be intimate with men (even if in present time, this want is being internally and externally denied). And Mike is a man (big juicy can of worms re: the gnc debate, save that for another essay, but I think my stance is visible between the lines here) and Will wants him. We all saw how Will looked at Mike in the desert. Dirty, white t-shirt probably transparent in spots from sweat, heaving breath as he did all the work shoveling for his boy bestie. Will doesn't have to lift a finger. Will gets to pretend to move several grains of sand around. Will looks at Mike with lust in his eyes. That is the boy he's grown up with and had been crushing on as a kid, that's the guy he's fallen in love with. And Mike has grown up. Still awkward, but developing into someone that Will not only wants to spend forever with, but wants intimately.

I like to imagine them as kids, maybe around the age they are introduced to us as in s1. What are they, 12? It's been awhile, but I remember being 12. I remember my first crushes, and they happened even earlier. Will has several male friends - each with their own appealing attributes. I think any of the party could be cute to a young, sexually confused nerd. But Will crushes on Mike. His first friend, the face he can imagine perfectly when he closes his eyes, able to draw him from memory because our boy is an artist. Little Will, drawing in sketchbooks from the early years. Why is it so important that he gets the shape of Mike's lips just right? Why are his eyes the best eyes he's ever drawn? Why does he spend so long perfecting a technique to capture the dark swoops of his best friend's hair? He's caught himself staring too long at Mike's mouth on occasion. He's caught himself suppressing a shudder when Mike's arm is so casually thrown around him, holding him close. He smells like a boy. He likes that a lot more than whatever girls douse themselves with. Uh oh.

Mike is not conventionally attractive. Neither is FW, either. Not to say he's bad looking (I find him very very attractive), but honestly - he's different. He's not like the cookie cutter Ken, the action figure, the Hollywood poster boy. He's got unique features and is awkward in his own skin. I don't think girls (and closeted guys) at Mike's school are falling at his feet. "I'm not exactly Mr. Popular." But they still look. As opposed to Jason, the All-American Juxtaposition. Jason - classically and cliche-handsome, the prototype boyfriend for the prototype cheerleader. If Will was at Hawkins High that year, I'm sure he'd give Jason a passing glance. He's an attractive man. Will's heart can belong to one and his eyes can appreciate attractive people in his vicinity. But Mike. Mike. Slightly taller, his protective personality bleeding into his physicality. I can see Will being into the protectiveness as a physical manifestation. Mike can maneuver him, can probably hug him tight and lift him up. He's not some action hero, or a muscled heartthrob but he's not as pathetic as fanon so pretends. I don't think he's gonna be an over powered badass by any means, but he can wield a sword and try and even if he's not that great at it. He's not hesitant. And clearly Will knows this. He painted it. He's into it. Mike, able to lead them into battle. Mike, awkward but endearing and strong. Mike with his big hands and lean muscles and that mouth that Will's eyes are drawn to like magnets and he hopes he's not as guiltily obvious as he feels when he watches his best friend orbit around him.

He may hide his attraction to men, with no posters of them on his walls. Diverting his eyes when he notices an attractive man in public. But he has music and cinema. Albums and magazines and movies. Mike looks more like the men in his favorite bands than the men playing professional sports. Bowie is so much cooler. He's odd, he's different. He's hot. Will likes the unconventional and he likes the familiar things that make him feel good and safe. Mike makes him feel safe. Oh, how he wants Mike to make him feel good.

Will had a crush on his best friend, when he first started being plagued with the realization that boys were cute. Will fell in love and when he re-met his best friend in the airport - his friend has grown up hot. He's pissed off and heartbroken that they haven't reached out to each other more, but he can't keep his eyes off Mike. He's dreamed about him and sketched him from memory so many times before Spring Break - but in the flesh? Everything and more. Will wants him.

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[goatpaste]

watching through p2 of jojos again and it never like, it never stop feeling weird to me how weirdly human araki wrote the pillar man. with so many traits and points make them feel like complex characters, heros of their own story, just weirdly feel sympathetic and human to the point of connection to them.

Like Josephs point in making on meeting santana that 'we can assume he's just bad, this is a fucked up situation to be in maybe so we should give him the benefit of the doubt'

whams WHOle character good god could i put a lot of talk into him

Esidisis behavior and way of acting

Kars enjoyment of animals and plants and for nature in general, a wish to walk in the sun and just kinda a dislike for human people. The way he violently mourns for his fallen family

but none of it matters because you know araki wanted them, even with flaws, to be the main villians. thats all it is. a greatest evil on earth to deal with even if they show human traits.

but it feels so weird, because when im like 'idk i dont think the pillar man did anything wrong, let them do what they want, like sorry joseph but im not rooting for your side' im kinda not kidding. like yes your supposes to assume the worst of the pillar men and their intentions and what they'll do to people if they can walk in the sun. but like, they barely did much when walking around people at night unless they deamed them a threat to themself or something they cared about.

idk i think this comes back around to my feelings that BT really should have been a lil bit longer and fleshed out. its such a shame because while i knoW araki was just wanting to get shit done and move onto his stand stuff, he introduced such a rich cast of characters who if given a bit more time i think could have made such a fucking wonderful and complex narrative... like to the point of the pillar man but to everyone else. Joseph got a strong character introduction only to just kinda get worse and stand still imo. i still like him but i think he could have done a lot more if the story was a bit more fleshed out. Him a caesar actually getting to develop some sort of actual relationship on screen that isnt the two of them fighting and sometimes caesar admires joseph's skills or whatever. JOSEPH AND LISA LISA TRAININGGG, i would have KILLEd to see joseph and lisa lisa do anYthing togeatherrrr... the subtle hints to be dropped of lisa lisa past and her connection to joseph..

idk what point im trying to make actually, im just thinking about how weirdly soft and kind we see the pillar men in moments at time and not just as pure evil being and it feels so weird to remember that were supposes to be rooting against them is all. i feel like we were should have had more insight into their group and lives and feelings and maybe even what they were up to while joseph trained. idk man idk, just kinda thinkin out loud

[luciality]

thinking ab nyo ace fam dynamics... amelia has first born son privilege and alice has boymom brainrot. shes naturally a tomboy and while she doesnt see alice as accepting of that at all, alice considers herself very permissive and encouraging of her masculinity. she forces the superficial aspects of femininity on her, yes, but she encourages her studies and athleticism and independence- up until a point of course cant be too independent haha nooo dont leave me bbygrl nooooo dont leave- but she does set up young amelia's life in a way that she was essentially a wealthy young woman in the colonies whose money gave the privilege of not needing to play silly little social games and local politics, essentially above it all, dont give a fuck about the humans darling they are beneath you, and the only men who had any power over her were the actual governers and of course parlement back home in england. But her daily life was privileged to the extreme in that england's money compensated for her being female.

maddie on the other hand uogh maddie bbygrlll she has eldest daughter torment. i think by the time she's in england's hands shes already a demure girly girl. i blame france. little maddie is cautious and yet desperate for attention but too scared to demand it so she does her best to be perfectly obedient and pretty and proper so that england will love her. i think even in modern day alice thinks of maddie as a crybaby, because she was a crybaby as a child and as an adult she's much more restrained but to alice nah shes still a crybaby. growing up as englands good little girl her pretty princess is going to fuck anyone up in the head especially when you're still not even her favorite so yeah maddie makes herself small and accomodating and fulfills whatever role alice needs her to be she shoves down her own feelings so she can be alice's therapist or mommy... average seven year old girl who is parenting her twenty two year old mother.... i think if she had tested boundaries and tried to grow more independent (as a PERSON lol) she maybe would have gotten even more leeway than amelia, but it would have come from a place of yeah do whatever you want kid i dont care... and maddie WANTS her to care so she doesnt push boundaries she has no reason to want to when all she wants is to be the favorite child she wants mommy to love her unconditionally. so she basically ends up stunted emotionally. she never really grows up she still depends on mom a lot... i think alice does see her as an overgrown baby like maddie is always asking for permission unnecessarily she feels like shes infantilizing maddie or that maddie is infantalizing herself. and now that they are both older alice may feel bad for creating this dynamic for them but god is it nice to have someone to call knowing she'll answer regardless of the time and listen to her drunken ranting and crying and being vulnerable to her babygirl the one person she can confide in, confident that it wont be used against her because maddie is so so loyal. and yet she still blames it all a bit on maddie and resents her for being that way. grow up. pull yourself together. why are you asking me. who cares. i dont care. grow up.

amelia and maddie can not reminice about childhood together for very long because when england comes up it is like they are talking about two different people and they start fighting about it.

[foxluvrz]

01/04/25 storytime . tw light venting

actually gonna throw up after today. okay so basically i've been hanging out with my friends outside of school a lot more recently and it's been pretty awesome sauce. anyways, i went iceskating with my friends e and i --- as well as e's dad --- today for the first time and honestly i really enjoyed it. i had never gone iceskating before so i was pretty nervous even though i'm able to rollerblade pretty well, spoiler alert; they're really different from one another. anyways, the interactions from today, along with my entire school year so far, has really brought me to the complete and genuine realization of me having daddy issues. while i hate the term because it sounds like some "tiktokified" version of a mental illness term in my opinion, it's come to have wrecked my life. a little personal, but i've never met my biological dad, nor had any sort of healthy and stable father figure in my life, so i believe that's where my issues stemmed from. anyways, just seeing fathers interact with their daughters makes me have a little bit of heartache and envy for it that like, i hate it. 🐢 i've found has been a MAJOR positive male figure and role model in my life and i don't know what i'll do without him when i go into highschool next year. i'm really fucking nervous and scared and honestly a little annoyed; but it's inevitable and i know that. i miss 🐢. i'm so excited to go back on monday and be able to talk to him again. i need that father figure in my life. and i don't think i truly realized how much i missed out on without having a father whilst growing up. i should still be growing up now but i really don't feel like i am, i just feel like a person in a child's body. it's worse too because i've been mistaken to be a bit older than i actually am. but me, today, going to the icerink with my friends and one of their dads really like brought me the realization i needed. just like i dont know having silly conversations with older men that i know i can trust (ex. 🐢, maybe friend's dad) brings me so much joy and i don't even know, just positive feelings. but what got to me was him trying to give me tips and helping me on the rink, as well as just making sure i was okay when i was taking a break and waiting for my friend's to loop back around the rink to me. that is what matters so much to me. and don't get me started when i was struggling really badly to keep my skates on tight enough and he offered to help me tie them around a certain way when i couldn't. he OFFERED to himself. like what do you mean "this isn't the first time i've had to do this, hah" sir? what do you mean you're actually a kind man and a good father, and just i don't know, a positive influence?? WHAT. and my friend while i was struggling even told me "why don't you ask my dad for help?" like WHAT? no i'm not going to ask YOUR dad to help me. i'm highkey scared of all my friend's parents but now him, not so much. also we talked a teensy bit about sports and nascar and though he was insanely good at iceskating, he didn't try to make any of us feel bad about it--minus his own daughter but that was in a silly joking way. ALSO my grandparent's picked me up but as we were walking out he offered to take me home if need be. like, i don't even know. i obviously don't have attatchment nor a crush for my friend's dad but like, i'm still thinking about all that's happened in my life that's led up to my thoughts for today. also DAD JOKES?? HE MADE A DAD JOKE AND WHENEVER SOMEONE MAKES A DAD JOKE I WANT TO BREAK DOWN SOBBING BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE DAD JOKES. i dont care what anyone says, i whole-heartedly believe some dadjokes are hilarious in the right situation. (his daughter fell on her back on the ice and was complaining about how much it hurt and he went "put some ice on it") like idc if it was unfunny, he's ICONIC.

ALSO i just remembered the Diable III poster i have in my room that i got from a friend, THAT FRIEND WAS E AND HER DAD GAVE IT TO ME. OH MY GOD.

[springcatalyst]

5, 8, 16, 17 for that ask game :] i dont know a lot of your ocs yet so surprise me!

hell yesssss lets GO

5: Does your oc have a signature weapon and/or attack? How long did they have to train to master it?

I answered this one for Liliana already! SO I'll give you Brooke!

Brooke's weapon of choice is a hand-and-a-half sword she's had for years and years and years. It was granted to her when she reached the level of skill in her guild that allowed her to go on formal hunts. It being hand-and-a-half means its versatile: it can be used two-handed or one-handed. She values adaptability and flexibility in a fight, and is very bad at both of these things in everywhere else in her life. Being in a familial-based guild, she's honed her skills over, again, years and years and years and years, pretty much since she could physically perform the necessary motions. Even after dividing from it, she keeps the sword, as well as the pendant and armor, because to fully divest herself from the image of the guild feels like lying, like hiding some nasty truth, and she doesn't want to do that anymore. She keeps these things as symbols of what she was, but in doing so prevents herself from being able to be anything but that.

8: What was your ocs most embarrassing moment? Does it still bother them or are they able to shrug it off?

So I don't have a One Right Answer BUT I'll say that Diana is pretty intimately familiar with embarrassment and humiliation on a small scale? The thing about needing to do things Correctly and the emphasis placed on respectability and decency and being polite and doing what you're told and not making a fuss and Form and Function is that well. It gives you a lot of little ways in which you can fail and be punished for it. Typically the punishment is failing in of itself. Diana, by nature of the culture she lived in, was weighed down by reputation in a manner where her own leaks out to her family, meaning people other than her have a stake in it. It's kind of a self-assuring cycle even without that, but. It is also enforced. Did I even answer the question? Peace and love on planet earth.

16: How does your oc make money?

Julian is maybe the only bitch in here who had an actual normal source of income for a significant portion of the plot. Once he fucked off to the sea he hops around ships going wherever and is paid to work them- he gravitated more towards cargo ships because they sailed farther and longer than ferries or other passenger ships. Eventually he joins the Siren's Song- an interislandary that, because it's rougher work out far far longer and requires just a bit more experience and is less appealing to most, paid a bit more. He didn't really join it for the pay, though. It had a certain energy in the air that, at the time, he envied. This turns out to be a bad choice.

17: Does your oc have an enemy?

I also answered this one for Liliana teehee so. This other guy ->

Julian beefs with everybody all the time forever but there's this One Fucking Guy on the Siren's Song that he just. Hates for all he's worth. It IS two-way because Julian also gets on Warren's nerves All The Fucking Time. Sometimes it's on purpose, because seeing how far he can push him without real consequences is fun, but sometimes it's not, because they are two people with very different ideas of how they function in the world. To Julian, Warren is a sort of needless cruelty, nose where it doesn't belong, breaking unspoken rules that exist for a reason type of person. To Warren, Julian is a kind of high horse, careless for the other men in the crew, manipulating his favor with the people in power to get what he wants type of person. Honestly, they're both right. They don't get to just throw hands about it because they are crewmates- you can't fight amongst yourselves at sea, it hinders the function of the ship, the first mate stops anything from starting (the captain... he doesn't care as much. he'll let it happen if it's entertaining enough). So they just sit there boiling hatred at each other until eventually.,.. well the first mate can't always be around.

OC ASK GAME :]

[asterssunzephyr]

TP&TS!Nature Wives angst, maybe? 👀👀👀

THERES SO MUCH I COULD GIVE YOU OH MY GOD?? They are the main couple after all(..One of the only ones, actually. Looking at Desert Duo & ShadowBeans being split up bc one is dead.. then looks at NW & FH.. hm..)

CW: Alcohol, Bars

Implied gay thoughts about your best friend's best friend

Implied Flower Husbands

Implied Bisexual Ren

Implied Gay Thoughts™️ about tp&ts!Gem from tp&ts!Shelby

-----

"You hurt Jimmy, why are you in my house."

"To talk to you-"

"Talk?! What is there to talk about, Shelby?!"

"A lot! I didnt- I didnt mean to hurt him!"

"Then why did you?!"

"I dont know!"

"Bullshit! Get out of my house. Get out, and dont return."

"But-"

"Out. and give me the key back."

"Sweetheart-"

"Dont. You dont get to call me that anymore, leave."

He stared at her, at the way she still looked so ethereal while pissed at him, but gave the key up with a sigh. They had no right to stay here, not at 2 in the morning when Katherine probably just got back from the heroes base after working with Gem all night.

Okay, she didnt know if that last part was true but from how tense and stressed Katherine looked, Shelby assumed!.. They walked to the door and took one last look at the love of their life, friend, enemy her and left.

That night was spent in the closest bar to Katherines house since she didnt want to go half way across town to the small apartment in Boatem.

"What are you doing this far across town."

They shot their eyes up to the person who slid into the booth across from them. Brown eyes and blonde hair; Jimmy. Why was he in this bar?

"..I wanted to talk to Kat, she didnt wanna hear it. Didnt want to walk all the way back to Boatem at 2 am."

A sip of the liquor in the glass and Shelby finally looked the taller in the eyes.

"I get that," A sip from his own glass, "Scott dragged Gem and I here."

"Gem's here?"

"She is."

Shelby looked for the hint of a lie, but knew better. Jimmy would never lie about Gem's location, not when he cared about her like he does.

"Shelby!"

Another voice, and an arm around her shoulder. Scott, and Gem sliding into the booth on the other side next to Jimmy.

Now, Shelby knew 3 things about themself and their feelings:

1. They're hopelessly in love with Katherine

2. They liked women, and honestly women only

3. Feelings are confusing

One thing he didnt know, however, was to stop staring at Gem who currently looked outright beautiful. Now, she is one to lie quite often, but if shes calling someone beautiful, it's because she means it; well, gods be damned does Shelby mean it.

Apparently, Gem hasn't noticed the staring to they quickly focused on their hands and the drink in it before downing the rest of the glass and calling for another.

See, for a long time, Shelby's known about their feelings for women and how its nothing how Ren felt for women, or men. She's always struggled with feelings, and for a long time coming to terms with being asexual was a lot; dont get the poor guy wrong, hes hopelessly in love with Katherine and knows it, but goddamn does Gem look great.

-

He focused back in on the conversation when his 2nd, 3rd, fourth drink arrived and took a slow sip out of the glass. Just now, had Shelby realized, Katherine was there and glaring daggers from the end of the table. They made eye contact and Shelby knew she was in trouble, apparently so did Scott with how fast he moved to let Katherine take his place next to the short villain friend.

"How many have you had."

"Uh-"

"She's had four."

"You were keeping track?!"

"I have to drive Scott and Gem home, of course I have. Weve been here for two hours, Shelby."

"Two hours?!"

Shelby winced at Katherine basically yelling next to them. Yep, big trouble.

"Thats it, come on."

"Where are we going?"

"My house, so you can sober up and sleep."

"Im not drunk!"

"Do I look like I care?"

"Well- No, but-"

"No. Cmon."

Shelby stumbled out of the booth as Katherine dragged them and he waved bye to the trio who just waved back; Scott with a "knowing" smirk.

-

"Are you fucking stupid?!"

"What?"

"Going to a bar, alone, at two in morning?!"

"Like going to boatem wouldve been any better?"

"Not-.. Not what Im saying."

"I just needed to clear my head, Katherine."

"If you wouldve said something-"

"You wouldnt let me! You were so pissed off at me that you wouldnt let me speak!"

"So were both in the wrong!"

"What have I done?!"

"GO TO A BAR, ALONE."

"AND?"

"Gods be damned youre an idiot."

"I tried to talk to you! You wouldnt let me!"

"Then you shouldve told me to shut up!"

"And risk being punched in the face?! Look, Its happened once before and I dont take too kindly to having a busted lip!"

Katherine rolled her eyes and threw a hoodie, a yellow one, at them and stormed off. Shelby simply took this as a sign to go take a shower before Katherine sends her back outside.

------

They both go to sleep angry that morning:). Gem, and Scott, wake up with hangovers btw LMFAO

[answersfromzestual]

I want phallo so bad. I've dreamt of having both sets of genitals since I learned what genitals were.

But i am so intensely afraid of looking anymore trans than I already do. I can't even confidently wear a packer without fearing someone is going to harass or assault me because I am non binary and even though I try not to look like a "woman" my body is.... so stereotypically "feminine" that I don't know what someone would do if they noticed a bulge in my pants.

Other than the whole "risks of surgery", this I'd a huge reason I'm scared to get phallo. And I'm not sure what to do. Because getting phalloplasty will give me the body I've always dreamed of, but will present me with a new challenge in life that I honestly don't know how to handle as someone who will never pass as someone who "should" have a bulge in their pants...

Okay first, I don't have personal experience in the non binary area. But, I will tell you about when I was not passing and I wore a packer and a binder (idk if you bind or not).

I wore a packer, I always was worried about people feeling it/ touching it. At the time I was not in a trans friendly environment. But I even wore a Stand to Pee packer (STP packer) that allowed me to urinate with my packer. I would avoid bathrooms near my classes most of the time, but use (what I wanted to use) the men's room. Yet in one building I had to use the women's room because I didn't pass. But I was really the only person who would be in the building to use that bathroom. It still stucked, but i was still wearing my packer. I was still called "she/her" while wearing my packer.

It was weird at first, I felt paranoid, but you gain confidence over time. People speak a lot about genitals, but they don't bother to really look. And you can usually buy different sized packers, maybe try a smaller size at first? It is intimidating but there isn't as much bulge as people think, even if you brush by and people touch it (which has happened) they don't know what they touched and whether they did or not they won't say anything. It's just a socially unacceptable thing to bring up, so most people will just move on.

You just be you. Get a packer and try it out, you dont have to wear it everyday if you don't want to. At first try when you're feeling comfortable (at home or to a friends house). You will realize that people actually don't look, or care about genitals as much as you think.

Maybe wearing them with baggy pants at first will help.

I'm not sure if you buy men's pants or women's or both. But men's have space for your genitals that give more space and hide. The zipper makes a bigger buldge to be honest.

If you want to pack I highly suggest men's pants. They have skinny pants and pants that can let's say "imitate" the look of women's jeans but with room for a penis and testicles.

I feel like once you gain confidence wearing a packer you will find it easier to make your decision about phalloplasty.

The nice thing about phalloplasty is you can also pick your own size, many clinics also offer debulking (making your phallis not so thick), and your own size of testicles.

If you are non binary it doesn't matter what is in your pants, people will feel how they will, sadly you can't force them to change if they have negative feelings.

I think being in the trans spectrum we tend to overthink a lot of things, especially revolving around our body parts and genitals.

People dont stare at your crotch, they don't touch it on purpose, someone isn't going to bring up they just touched your genitals, again it's something that we subconsciously find socially unacceptable and awkard to mention and talk about (at least in open company).

Life is like a videogame, if there wasn't any challenges it wouldn't be any fun, or worthwhile.

A new challenge is a new road to pave for those behind you and you to be proud you made.

Also I went to highschool with a cis male who for many people they didn't not know his gender. He looked feminine and talked feminine but had a male name and went by he/him. He was just a gay male. Some people aren't traditionally masculine looking and thats okay. Also there is a condition called Gynecomastia that causes cis men to basically have more chest fat and it seems like they have "breasts".

I think that you should see what life is like wearing a packer, then see how you feel.

I'm sorry if I didn't really help you.

I wish you the best in life, and I believe you will have the body you desire one day.

Stay Golden ✌️ 💙 💜

[zak-writes]

i miss loving someone so much i couldn't breathe.

it's nice to have my lungs clear but i dont like them hollow.

people tell me its okay not to love anyone and i guess it is. there's a whole community there of people who are like me. i see them sometimes, talking about not feeling love and i think, yeah, me too.

but i used to feel like that. i spent five years suffocating at the thought of someone i couldnt touch and then five months wondering if this is really what everyone was talking about. i couldn't feel it. or maybe i could and i just didn't enjoy it.

i think i just like attention. i can get that from anywhere. im not pretty but i can be funny if i try. sometimes i write something that strikes a nerve and its never something i care about.

the things i put effort into seem to fail and the things i give up on succeed. maybe that's why im still here. i quit trying six months ago and no one seems to have noticed. i can float through life and get by fine.

at least she punched walls. at least she threw things. at least she hurt people. who am i? some shadow of a broken little girl, stuffed into a mans body that only feels right when other people acknowledge it.

i start trying to write how i feel down and i get stuck. i dont feel anything about him, three years later. some men really are just a guy. if i think back i cant identify what it was that got us here. he seems to think we're a miracle but i never believed in those.

he doesn't know what to get for my birthday. i asked him to name three of my interests and he named two. i got to seven of his before i got one wrong. he didnt tell me he stopped listening to that podcast. i didnt tell him i hurt myself again.

maybe its just an idea of it. i like the idea of it more than what could actually be. having to put effort into someone else is too far.

most people who feel nothing have a reason. i dont do drugs and i only drink on occasion. im not depressed, i dont think. i get out of bed - eventually - and i go to work and i do my assignments and i talk to my friends.

i dont know what people are talking about when they describe their hobbies. i dont do things for fun. i do them because if i dont make things all the time, things people can see, it was like i was never here.

i get asked a lot what my speciality is. i dont know what they mean. im doing this degree because it was the easy option, but also because i like all of it. its all interesting. how can you choose a favourite part? how do you decide which bit is worth putting the extra effort in?

am i just lazy? am i already a corpse? they say you get your final death when someone speaks your name for the last time. i keep shooting the little girl inside of me but people are still saying her name. i dont want her to die. i say her name in my head all the time. she screams at me. i think thats fair.

i know i love her. if nothing else, i love her. she didnt know any better. she didnt know what she was doing to me. i dont think she could conceive of me existing.

for her there was just then. for me there is the next thing. the job and the house and the children i might have. i could love a child. i love every child i meet.

so many people looked at me and saw something they could hurt. every time i look at a kid i think, how?

i love the house i grew up in. i dont have a bedroom anymore.

i love my siblings. they never call me.

i love my friends. i forget their birthdays.

i forget everything. sometimes i say the names of my dead family and i dont remember what they look like. i want to carve their names into a tree so they cant die. i want to set the world on fire.

you can love nothing and everything at the same time i think. maybe that's the point.

[currently-evil]

Rowan No surname found - Formerly Vigilante Sidestep - Curently Villain Déjà vu

Name: Rowan

Surname: None (Never decided on one, in official things he uses a variety of fake names, to the Rangers he introduced himself (in a bit of panic) as Rowan Rowan. He does get a lot of crap from Ortega for using such an obviously fake name, but it stuck.

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexuality: Demisexual

Villain name: DÉJÀ VU (Name is a bit of precaution, It's a safe fail in case somebody found the way he fights or moves familiar. If they confronted him he would heavily suggest the feeling of DÉJÀ VU is one of his powers.)

Vice: Cigarettes

Armour: Telepathy and speed

Armour look: Mysterious

Occupation: Mob boss

Romance: Steel/Ortega/Sidestep - Secret crush Ortega

Stats:

These are his stats from Book 1, when i find the ones from book 2 I will change this

Appearance:

Asian

Middle height

Black eyes

Some make up, mostly foundation and some "natural look" cosmetics, but he also like to use eyeliner and eyeshadow sometimes (he always forgets to remove them and then looks like panda)

Black hair, length about little something under his ears, with fringe, always style in same dramatic K-POP idol style

Many piercings : eyebrow piercing, on his lips snake bites and medusa, two studs in his tongue , industrial in right ear, belly button piercing and some below waist that i didnt figured out yet. Almost all done by himself

Always immaculately clothed usually in some mix of formal clothes and latest fashion

Personality: Ironic and sassy asshole with face almost permanently twisted in irritation and constant sigh: “I hate this so much”

Trivia:

He knows how to make vape tricks, back in Sidestep days he would do them to amuse Anathema

He used to have a really strong distaste towards his own body, feeling like its parasite, something to fight against. He used to thought "This body is all they want, if I could get rid of it, If i could be free of it…" Sometimes he would even self harm as a way to cope. Mostly making piercings, but on bad days he would try to carve tattoos off his body. But he would mostly just neglect himself, not eat enough, not sleep enough, not care about wounds on him.

(Ironically, jumping into Puppet only made this feeling worse.)

After the series of realizations, self discoveries and a few events that forced him to look at himself from another point of view He realized his body is not an enemy but maybe the only ally he can truly trust. He mostly got this feeling under control. It still there of course, under the surface of his mind, coming back sometimes, but Rowan worked out a routine that helps when needed.

In current time He takes great care of himself, have enormous collection of cosmetics worth small fortune. But while he almost obsessively takes care of his body, he greatly neglects mental health. At least until Ortega persuade him to go to therapy. Now he is working hard to get better.

Demisexual but he never really thought about it enough to give himself a label. He always considered thanks to his secrets he would always be alone, so no need to think about. There was even a part of him that considered that because he isn't a true human its logic that he have no interest in sex or reproduction. And then Ortega showed all suave, sexy and so warm. But of course Ortega wasn't into men. Then Heartbreak happened and again he figured love wasn't for him. He didn't even realize when Steel wormed into his heart.

He loves fashion and dressing up. Showing anywhere like its a runway or award ceremony. Absolute Diva.

Hates getting compliments. He accepts only the one regarding his clothes or his fashion sense; all others make him crumble and whiter and cringe. Run away or threaten people to stop.

People think his natural state (sassy eye rolling bitch) is a sign of dislike but it's actually the opposite. When he doesnt like somebody/dont trust them he becomes perfectly emotionless and motionless. Old habit from around his handlers who would severely punish him for any show of emotion or opposition.I don't think he is ready or even mentally stable enough to have pets but if he were, he would have two rats. Firstly bought so RatKing would have friends but then he would get genuinely attached. I think he would be a cat person, but he would never get a cat, too worried it might scare RatKing.

I dont have talent for art but this is the closes i managed to create what i imagine he looks like in picrew (minus the piercings)

Also this one :3

[butchkaramazov]

A Shade Darker Than Red: Chapter 8

this is a repost because tumblr, being a jerk as always, decided to delete the former post. if you like this one, you could maybe check out the entire series using the masterlist i'll post in a few minutes.

A week passed by. Paro was eerily quiet when she was with me, and I thought of what I had said that day. Had I really, truly ruined all my chances of saving even our friendship?

A million thoughts rushed through my head as I turned restlessly in bed, staring at the ceiling.

The ceiling of our bedroom was painted with blue fluorescent stickers shaped like stars. Papa had done that. I had asked Maa to take them off if they bothered her, but we never did.

Beside me, Maa tossed in her sleep. They say if you think of someone, they can’t fall asleep. Could she hear my thoughts?

I had nothing to distract myself with. No phone, no book—nothing. Just me, my thoughts and the stars on the ceiling.

A sudden, vivid memory flashed in my mind. We were six. A year had passed since my meeting with Paro. We were running around like hooligans in the park while our mothers talked about work, pados-wali aunties and whatnot. I still remember what Paro was wearing: a frilly, white frock with Minnie Mouse sewn onto its sleeves. The sky was red and so was our laughter, until Paro bent down and ripped a flower right off its stem. “For you,” she had said, clumsily tucking the flower behind my ear. When she touched my earlobe, the flower was white. When she let go, it was red.

Another memory. We were nine. She sat with me on the bed while I rambled on about my latest hyperfixation: dragons. She listened to every single detail I had mentioned and, by the end of the afternoon, showed me a drawing of a wyvern.

Twelve. I was reading The Priory of the Orange Tree, sitting on the windowsill. I took a sip from my milk tea, letting out a contented hum. I wasn’t on the windowsill anymore. I was Ead, pressing a kiss to Sabran’s brow. Sabran was someone who looked uncannily similar to Paro.

An annoying ding! from my phone forced me back to reality. I heard Maa’s grunts and snores: the coast was clear. 

I climbed off the bed, taking care not to put extra weight anywhere that would make the mattress creak. I walked towards the desk and picked up the phone.

WhatsApp: You have 3 messages.

It was Paro. I checked the time: 3:49 a.m. Paro was a morning person, what was she doing staying up all night?

Paro<3:

hi renu are you awake?

—00:27

do you wanna hang out on the roof like we used to? 

—02:01

its ok if you dont wanna. go back to sleep you have a big day tmrw. actually, if ur awake rn i’ll kill you

—03:48

Oh, Paro.

I glanced at Maa, slowly increasing the fan’s regulator. Please don’t wake up soon.

I walked out of the room and closed the door. Thank goodness I’d oiled its hinges last week. 

The main door was locked—opening it meant creating a ruckus. “Shit,” I muttered under my breath. No wait, actually not shit. This meant I’d have to take the old way around. 

Jeez, fourteen-year-old me was fun.

I opened the door to the balcony and hoisted myself up on its railing. It was an easy jump. I tumbled onto the grass, praying that a grasshopper wouldn’t find its new home in my ear. The grass was wet and the air smelled of petrichor. 

I stood up, smoothening my pyjamas. Staying out late at night was a risky thing, especially in our neighbourhood. Plenty of TicTac-shaped pills here and there, and men on the prowl. I didn’t give a damn. I was eighteen and probably feeling some feelings I wasn’t supposed to be feeling. (That’s a lot of ‘feeling’s, I know.) What could possibly hurt me?

A lot of things, I realised, as I walked up to Paro’s house. Like that mad dog Rathode had warned me about. The creepy guy who keeps children in his basement (just a speculation, but when Madhu speculated about something, it was most probably right). An overspeeding motorcycle that could crash into me any minute. My own mother, with her pots and pans, once she realised I was gone.

Oh well, the damage was done. I found myself opening the gate on instinct, as if I knew Paro’s house better than I did my own.

I stepped into their garden, careful not to trample on any beetles—and made my way to the window of the woman who lived below Paro’s flat. Madame Fosco, I called her, in everything but her looks.

The tin shade Madame Fosco had installed last year was probably on its deathbed by now. Rust had made its edges creaky, but Fosco was deaf, anyway. I grabbed onto it and hoisted myself up, finding myself staring right at Paro’s face, our faces a millimetre away from each other’s. She screamed.

I screamed.

My foot slipped and I fell off the tin shade, tumbling onto the grass once again. At this point, I would be surprised if a grasshopper hadn’t found its home in my ear.

“For Whitman’s sake, hush,” I whisper-shouted, if that’s a thing. If it wasn’t, it probably is by now.

Paro peered out of the window, her mouth forming a perfect ‘o’. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed. 

I shook my head (in case a grasshopper had organised a nice family dinner in my hair) and climbed onto the tin shaft once again, pulling myself onto Paro’s windowsill.

“Come in,” she whispered, switching the lights on. 

I felt comfortable squatting on her windowsill like a failed Spiderman and grumbled as I walked into her bedroom.

Paro switched her phone’s torchlight off. “I’m gonna kill you.”

“What?” I stared at her retreating figure. “What did I do?”

“Why are you still awake?” she snapped. I followed her to the door.

“Why are you still awake and staring out of your window like Oscar fucking Wilde?” I snapped back.

Paro flipped me off while trying her hardest to pull the gates across the door. Sweat shone on her forehead, her eyes illuminated in the moonlight.

“Hold on, let me help,” I offered, gently grabbing her wrist. Paro grumbled, stepping aside.

I pushed the gate back and pulled it in again, keeping the screw in with my thumb. It glided into the opening on the other side, miraculously not making a single noise.

I turned towards Paro. She was staring at my arms.

“What?” I asked her, incredulously. One moment she said she wanted to kill me, and the next she looked at me like I was something she couldn’t quite wrap her head around.

“N-Nothing,” she gasped. My heart fluttered. Dammit, these butterflies in my stomach had turned into fucking bats at this point.

Paro walked up the stairs while I followed her footsteps in the dark. “Just like the old times, huh?” I heard her say.

I grinned. “Just like the old times.”

Paro opened the door to the roof, the tensed line in her jaw glinting in a sliver of moonlight. God, she was as beautiful as ever.

“Come in,” she said, her words echoing in the marble walls.

I followed her to the railings, leaning against the cool surface. A light breeze rippled through, making her hair fly for a brief second. Dear God, she was poetry herself.

“Where are Auntie and Uncle?” I asked, trying to break the silence.

A light breeze caressed my cheeks. “They won’t be back before tomorrow. Business trip,” Paro explained, edging closer to me.

“Oh.” I was suddenly aware of the pen still tucked behind my ear.

Silence.

“So we’re—we’re all alone, then?” I asked her, hoping she wouldn’t hear the slight quaver in my voice.

Paro nodded. “We are.”

Silence, again.

She leaned against the railing. “You’re going away in three weeks.”

I nodded, not quite knowing what to say.

“I asked you a question.” Her voice was cold and harsh, harsher than I deserved. 

“That was a statement,” I snapped. “And don’t use your fucking CEO voice with me.”

Paro frowned. “I’m not.”

“You are.” I glared at her. “And you know it.”

She stared at me, scrutinising my every feature. “I’m sorry,” she finally said, letting out a sigh. “I’m sorry. It’s just been—you’ll be gone—and—”

“I know, it’s okay,” I heard myself murmur, edging closer towards her.

“I—I’ve got that Poe book with me,” she said. “Do you want it now or at the graduation party?”

“Now,” I said, without thinking. “The party will be too loud. And too crowded,” I added as an afterthought.

Paro bit her lip so hard I was scared it would bleed. “Alright,” she nodded. “I’ll get it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

I watched her retreat into the shadows, taking the white along with her. The night was a pool of blood, again.

I hummed. Did she know about the history of ‘OK’? Probably not. I’d tell her. Not knowing things I wouldn’t be able to tell her before we drifted apart wasn’t a good idea. At least she’d be able to tell her children that their Renu Auntie had told her about the history of ‘OK’. Maybe she’d sigh and think of me, again. Words were a certain but clumsy way into a person’s mind. 

Papa had told me that. Maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking of him.

Did Paro know about Jinnah? That Netaji might’ve actually been alive? Did she know that birds came from lizard-hipped dinosaurs? There was so much I had to tell her before I vanished from her mind.

It was pathetic. Scrambling onto every crumb of unrelated information I could find, just to hang onto her thoughts, stay on in her mind for a little while longer.

“I’m back,” Paro said, stepping into the moonlight.

She looked like Aphrodite, the goddess of love born from love itself, in all her glory—clutching a book of Edgar Allan Poe, the letters of which shone in the lamplight or moonlight, that I do not know.

“For you,” she said, handing me the book.

“It’s beautiful,” I gasped as I ran my fingers along the edge of its spine. It was a leatherbound book, The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe written in shiny gold lettering. I opened the first page.

To Renu, it said. Keep me in your mind, always. From, Paro.

I chuckled, flipping through the pages. “Of course I’ll keep you in my mind, Paro,” I laughed. “What a silly thought!”

Paro looked at me, hope faintly glimmering in her eyes. “You will?” Her voice had softened down to a murmur.

I looked at her incredulously. “Well, duh, Paro, I can’t just forget my best friend of thirteen years now, can I?”

Paro’s lower lip trembled. “You promise?”

I smiled. “Always.”

“Always?”

“Always.”

A comfortable silence followed and as we looked at the stars, I knew we were both smiling.

[neowinestainedress]

omg hiii its 2 am at my place when i finished 'hits different' and now typing this (and idk what time i gonna finish typing and hit the blue button to send). my eyes still wet cuz omg yes again i cried. you write so well and i swear i could write a wholw paragraph about how much i love your style and writing and how you poured emotions into your writing. i just hope whatever you do in your life outside this app, you'll never stop writing, even if it's a hobby to kill your free time but i'm sure you love writing with all the word counts every time you released a story. (definitely not saying the short works doesnt have your love poured in but you know what i mean, i just really love long oneshot and i appreciate it so much that you wrote them to the end and uploaded it here)

the development of your characters... damn. you wrote them so well. AND OH GOSH HAECHAN CHARACTER HERE IS JUST A PERFECT DAYDREAMING GUY WE ALL WANT IN OUR LIVES. "When life give you Haechan, don't let him slip away." GOD I WISH LIFE GIVE ME A LEE HAECHAN (i mean yes technically we are living the same lifetime with one and only lee haechan), to the point i dont think i will be able to fall in love with other men irl cuz haechan has set the bar too high for anyone to reach it. okay that's probably too personal. But, once again thank you for writing a very perfect lee haechan in your writing once again. At least the hopeless romantic in me can be happy.

And the angst??? I LIVE TO READ AND LOVE ANGST, I AM LIVING FOR IT. At some point i feel like the pinch to my heart get so real i think im really the fl in the story. well i definitely can feel the real trauma and i understand how she acted like that. poor haechan but yeah it happened when it get to overwhelmed. Thanks for his characteristics tho, he stays and lord i want a man like him (no i dont want other men) and being the most understanding, patience, he like an angel he deserves so damn much love and honestly i wish the fl give him that even after the story end with happy ending cuz yes both of them deserves the happiness and love together.

but of course haechan can be the real devil when it comes to making love (oh i wish theres a part where they be making love like you know after confessing and becoming couple so the tension is not in the air and they can just enjoy yeaㅡ i need to writing too much)

“And I will die like a man,” he insists, challenging you with a glare.

“Yeah, exactly, don’t think,” he snarls.

“I don’t want to hear you. I don’t need to hear you to know you’re going dumb on my cock.”

Yes, i died here. And come back to life and SCREAM. He is a menace, a loser, BUT I WANT HIM. Honestly there are lot more (i mean its 40k+) but yeah i need to stay sane for my own self. Adding cherries on top, he is the real guy because whatever situation he knows he shouldn't force and always care for the fl.

And i love how you include all the positivity in the fic, tho of course it should be a norm, SAY YES TO NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE WHEN THE WOMEN OR EVEN MEN NOT BEING THEMSELVES!!

Well honestly, i kinda wonder if Mark actually know it's fl that Haechan always brought home and fuck (when he is there). So, I always thought like maybe Mark heard it and then shove anything in his ears to block the moans and all so he never noticed fl's voice or maybe he get out of the house whenever it happened (and he is not out of the house yet), or he just pretend he didn't know anything but that doesn't make sense cuz when haechan was with wonyoung, he didn't seems to like saying something that involved feelings with the fl.

I have so much things to say but i will cut it short here with thank you for writing a perfect long piece of yet another haechan fic, i really love it!

and here am i moving on to other things...

This is probably too long already and this is not related to 'hits different' but your other fic, the traitor series. idk if you still remember but i used to send ask where i talked about 2nd part and you did replied but i didnt replied back (sorry about that) because i was waiting until the 3rd part come out and decided to just get back to the 'discussion' after that but i never did altho i have read the 3rd part due to my busy schedule so i ended up losing the notif since tumblr only let certain amount of time. and i finally get back to you now. Another reason is it's the same as this, i have so much things to say and couldnt find a right way to put it into long para cuz yes of course im so satisfied with your writing and at the end the fl get together with haechan just like how i wish altho he kinda dont deserve it. Yes of course i still feel like he doesnt deserve her after all he did to her but he changes and i shouldnt hold onto it too much when they could find happiness among themselves again. You did included it in your note about writing another part for jeno but since its already too long. Well im not gonna ask you to write about because i have seen your wip and you planned to write a lot and your req is close too (+ it's too late now anyway) so i will just say this here, well honestly you always end your story with characters developments so theres nothing to ask for more. I would love to see how haechan and the fl in their new 2nd chance relationship, like how haechan treat her when they hanging out with their friends and if jeno finally found the loml cuz he deserves his own happy ending (altho ofc happy ending doesnt mean he need to find a partner to be with). But that should be it. I'm just writing this here cuz i feel bad for not getting back to you for that series but also its not only bc i feel bad cuz that sounds like im forcing myself it just i really think i should tell you you did well writing the series and appreciate it that you even took time before posting the last part so you of course put so much in thought how youre going to end it and i feel the need to put closure to our discussion just because it's worth it. It deserve the closure note too and once again im so sorry for coming this late to give feedback of the series.

Hoping for your happiness and have nice days ahead!! couldn't wait for your other masterpieces but still take time!! Lots of love!!!! 💗💗💗💗

hii!! i wanted to say that i thought it’s impossible to cry for this fic as if i didn’t tear up while i wrote the last texts haechan sent the mc lmao (i’m a liar) so i’m sorry, my next goals are 1) a happy fic and 2) a short fic. this made me tear up, i’m so happy you can see how much i love writing and i hope the same. if i’m lucky enough to get the job i hope to get i should have a bit of free time to keep my writing hobby alive so, let’s hope for the best! And yes, i totally get what you mean, writing a 20-40k or more story takes much more time than a fic around 1-5k words and if you don’t love doing it you don’t put those words down.  

the development of your characters... damn. you wrote them so well. AND OH GOSH HAECHAN CHARACTER HERE IS JUST A PERFECT DAYDREAMING GUY WE ALL WANT IN OUR LIVES. "When life give you Haechan, don't let him slip away." GOD I WISH LIFE GIVE ME A LEE HAECHAN (i mean yes technically we are living the same lifetime with one and only lee haechan), to the point i dont think i will be able to fall in love with other men irl cuz haechan has set the bar too high for anyone to reach it. okay that's probably too personal. But, once again thank you for writing a very perfect lee haechan in your writing once again. At least the hopeless romantic in me can be happy.

this is haechan’s vendetta for all the times i wrote him like an asshole LET’S GO HAECHAN AND SUNFLOWERS!!! it’s not a want it’s a NEED at this point (also it got nothing to do with the story but lately he’s feeding my delusion a bit too much so yeah). i might’ve written the man of my dreams in this fic… just maybe. no but it’s true that we don’t know him truly but it’s already a blessing to living at the same time. i think i came up with a good compromise between real him and obviously made up character, idk how to explain but the mix between the hopeless romantic – or loser (affectionative) – and the tease is just so haechan.

And the angst??? I LIVE TO READ AND LOVE ANGST, I AM LIVING FOR IT. At some point i feel like the pinch to my heart get so real i think im really the fl in the story. well i definitely can feel the real trauma and i understand how she acted like that. poor haechan but yeah it happened when it get to overwhelmed. Thanks for his characteristics tho, he stays and lord i want a man like him (no i dont want other men) and being the most understanding, patience, he like an angel he deserves so damn much love and honestly i wish the fl give him that even after the story end with happy ending cuz yes both of them deserves the happiness and love together.

i was unsure about her backstory for so long, because initially she wasn’t supposed to have one (not this heavy at least) but then it came to me out of nowhere and i felt it was more fitting of a reasoning for the way she behaved (especially her obsession with rules) than some tough break-ups. i’m not even sure it was what the person that requested wanted but as much as I love fwb2l i’m sick of always reading them with the fl being the first one to fall in love or the one to be more emotionally into the story. i struggled to come up with a plot for months but i was sure since the start that i wanted haechan’s character to be like this. the first one to reach out (when they met again at the club, when he asked for her number, asking her to stay over and so on) i needed loser haechan in my life so badly. and yeah, i can reassure you they’re living happily together because it’s what they deserve.

but of course haechan can be the real devil when it comes to making love (oh i wish theres a part where they be making love like you know after confessing and becoming couple so the tension is not in the air and they can just enjoy yeaㅡ i need to writing too much) “And I will die like a man,” he insists, challenging you with a glare.|“Yeah, exactly, don’t think,” he snarls. | “I don’t want to hear you. I don’t need to hear you to know you’re going dumb on my cock.” Yes, i died here. And come back to life and SCREAM. He is a menace, a loser, BUT I WANT HIM. Honestly there are lot more (i mean its 40k+) but yeah i need to stay sane for my own self. Adding cherries on top, he is the real guy because whatever situation he knows he shouldn't force and always care for the fl.

i wasn’t sure about ending it where it ended, but to be honest i didn’t even think about writing a short smut scene. i wanted to add another scene like two months later but then i thought the fic was too long already so i was like ‘nah, let’s leave it to reader’s imagination’. now you’re making me think about them making love and i’m crying. it would’ve been even better if it was from haechan’s pov, like… he really thought he had lost her and then… she was still there??? and she confessed she never loved nobody else like him??? BRB GOTTA HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

the funny thing is the I KNOW that Haechan’s the type to say things like this even irl it’s just his vibe *crying* whoever dates him is so lucky.

i literally wrote about a man that will never exist in real life, how do i bring him to life??

And I love how you include all the positivity in the fic, tho of course it should be a norm, SAY YES TO NOT TAKING ADVANTAGE WHEN THE WOMEN OR EVEN MEN NOT BEING THEMSELVES!!

it should be the norm but unfortunately it’s not so rip

Well honestly, i kinda wonder if Mark actually know it's fl that Haechan always brought home and fuck (when he is there). So, I always thought like maybe Mark heard it and then shove anything in his ears to block the moans and all so he never noticed fl's voice or maybe he get out of the house whenever it happened (and he is not out of the house yet), or he just pretend he didn't know anything but that doesn't make sense cuz when haechan was with wonyoung, he didn't seems to like saying something that involved feelings with the fl.

can i be honest? i love mark but in this story he really is mr clueles😭 1) he’s awkward so even if he heard (he did hear at times) he would shove his earphones on and try to fall asleep like that. 2) after a few months of their affair, he started dating minjeong so he didn’t want to listen and try to analyse the moans of his roommate’s hookup at all 3) the mc was just too good at slipping away they never met not even by mistake and also most of the times they just met up when mark wasn’t there. he knew something was going on but he never pried on it much, also because haechan was good at keeping it a secret. hyuck flirts with many people so to mark is not really weird he brings someone at home every now and then. and haechan’s story with wonyoung was super short and at one point it’s clear hyuck doesn’t talk much about his relationships so mark almost only makes assumptions about them (in fact, to him they’re dating but they’re really not, when haechan goes back to the mc and has to talk with wonyoung it’s just to say that they can’t get to know each other romantically because there’s someone else in his life). it’s a mix of mark barely being with his head on earth (they way he always tries to set mc up with anybody every time they go out when she’s sulking because she wants Haechan sends me) and mc and haechan being good at keeping it a secret (always in a corner, touches under the table, going to a place they know none of their friends will ever go)

I have so much things to say but i will cut it short here with thank you for writing a perfect long piece of yet another haechan fic, i really love it!

Thank you, it made so happy to discuss it with you, probably I’ve answered too much but I hope it’s not a problem!!

This is probably too long already and this is not related to 'hits different' but your other fic, the traitor series. idk if you still remember but i used to send ask where i talked about 2nd part and you did replied but i didnt replied back (sorry about that) because i was waiting until the 3rd part come out and decided to just get back to the 'discussion' after that but i never did altho i have read the 3rd part due to my busy schedule so i ended up losing the notif since tumblr only let certain amount of time. and i finally get back to you now.

i have a few asks about that story so i’m not sure which one is yours (i guess the long one? did you want haechan and the mc to get back together but at the same time you wanted to slap him for what he did?) but apart from that, don’t worry. i don’t mind even if you discuss a fic six months after i posted it or even a year, life gets busy and tumblr sucks so it’s fine.

Another reason is it's the same as this, i have so much things to say and couldnt find a right way to put it into long para cuz yes of course im so satisfied with your writing and at the end the fl get together with haechan just like how i wish altho he kinda dont deserve it. Yes of course i still feel like he doesnt deserve her after all he did to her but he changes and i shouldnt hold onto it too much when they could find happiness among themselves again.

i’m happy you liked the ending of happier. haechan in that series surely wasn’t the man of our dreams but he’s working hard to be a better person. i know it’s all fictional and those characters don’t exist but i wouldn’t have made it end that way if i didn’t know he could be a better man and keep on growing up, so you can sleep at night knowing they’re all happy.

You did included it in your note about writing another part for jeno but since its already too long. Well im not gonna ask you to write about because i have seen your wip and you planned to write a lot and your req is close too (+ it's too late now anyway) so i will just say this here, well honestly you always end your story with characters developments so theres nothing to ask for more. I would love to see how haechan and the fl in their new 2nd chance relationship, like how haechan treat her when they hanging out with their friends and if jeno finally found the loml cuz he deserves his own happy ending (altho ofc happy ending doesnt mean he need to find a partner to be with).

honestly? i wanted to write that part right away even if nobody wanted it. but then last year i had a really bad burn out and i still have no idea how i managed to write the stories i had planned back then (and in fact i didn’t write two of one series) so i decided to don’t start anything because then i get mad at me. like i use writing as escapism and when i start a story and can’t give it an ending it reflects on me more than it should, so i’ve promised myself to don’t put too much on the plate. BUT who knows, if i can keep it short i could still write a small epilogue where we see more of haechan and mc’s relationship and also jeno. in my mind they’re all back together as friends, and jeno did find another person that loves him like he deserves, so whether i’ll write another small part or not, this is their future in the sour universe. i would’ve loved to expend the sour universe and make an entire spin-off on jeno for sure, and maybe even on renjun but that’s just too much work.

i’m also happy you understood the characters development because some comments drove me insane and made me doubt everything. i simply thing this ending was a clear cut, you either liked jeno or haechan and it’s obviously if she didn’t end up with who you were rooting for, you would’ve ended up disappointed. but to me this story was so much more than #teamjeno or #teamhaechan so i’m happy with my characters anyway (even tho sour!haechan you will never be like hits different!haechan)

But that should be it. I'm just writing this here cuz i feel bad for not getting back to you for that series but also its not only bc i feel bad cuz that sounds like im forcing myself it just i really think i should tell you you did well writing the series and appreciate it that you even took time before posting the last part so you of course put so much in thought how youre going to end it and i feel the need to put closure to our discussion just because it's worth it. It deserve the closure note too and once again im so sorry for coming this late to give feedback of the series.

no don’t feel bad at all, i’m the chilliest person and i just love discussing about my stories but i don’t get mad when it takes more time to reply, i’m a late replier too so i can’t get mad at others.

thank you so much for this ask, it made me really happy and i’m still glad you wanted to also discuss happier. have a nice day too!!! Love you 💗💗💗

[rise-my-angel]

Is it really normal for westeros men to visit brothels before they get married, rich or poor men, noble men or common men? I feel like its a common misconception among the fandom

The fandom in general misunderstands a lot about brothels in this series. We see brothel usage in 3 major areas.

The smallfolk/poor:

Marriage is not as important to the smallfolk. They get married for the same reasons we do, love. There is zero political importance of marriage in the lives of the smallfolk and thus their relationship to sex is different. Some men are young and have few options in their small village, if any, to have a sexual experiance and visit a brothel to have that. Some men work the feilds literally all day and maybe dont have a wife that can or is around for that type of affection, and seek it in a brothel. Some men are like those in the nights watch, sworn from having wives or families but are still men whom have natural sexual appetites and thus go to the moles town brothel to have what they never can otherwise. There is little wrong with any of this. They do not have the same view and obligations towards marriage and virginity as the highborn do. They have less options as people like you or I do in partners, and seek affection where it might not be common in such a harsh life.

The Highborn:

We see highborns more using brothels for a main reason. Kings Landing. It is the Kingdoms captiol city, and has the densest population. You will naturally see more brothel activity there simply because there are more men and women there to engage in it then in a village or castle. We also see from Game of Thrones, that they expanded on the lives of the sex workers. So naturally, part of seeing that expanded life is seeing men come in and out. We do not know most of these men, remember. Are they lords? knights? city guards? Most of the time, we dont know. Are they widows? Cheaters? We don't know. We simply do not have a sample size enough to say why these men go there or how many going there represent the population.

Now, there is a case of someone who frequents brothels and pays whores for sex that is an overlooked case in looking at men visitng brothels in asoiaf. Tyrion Lannister.

To the outside, Tyrion is a lust filled man who simply uses whores for easy sex because he likes it. But, we know Tyrion. We know why he pays whores. He is looked down on by most of the world, and is hated by most of his family.

Tyrion seeks out brothels and pays women for sex, because it is the only time he can experiance affection without hangups. He pays them, they give him affection, and its as simply as that. Him being a dwarf or a Lannister doesnt matter during that transaction. He seeks that out, because its the only place he can feel loved. Its sad, but you dont blame him for it because his life is filled with hate towards him otherwise.

He isn't perfect, and its why his relationship to Shae, and to a lesser degree Tysha, was so important. It expands on his use of sex workers so show he actually does care about these women, but their lives are incompatible with his in the way he wants and its unsustainable. He doesnt see other women when hes with Shae and doesnt want too, but the transactional nature looms over them no matter their actual love and its that transactional nature which leads to it blowing up in Tyions face and later Shae's.

I think people focus too much on how much or how many men go to brothels in asoiaf, and the question should rather be, out of those men, why do they go to brothels or pay for sex? What are these men seeking in a brothel that they cant find elsewhere, and what does that say about their specific character, good or bad.

I think the brothel issue is a lot more complicated then just "is it good or bad to visit one", but rather "why do they visit one and what does that say about that specific character".