#maybe its time to let go of the future that will never be for us old fans. new ones will come and change the series too much its a shadow
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lupinqs · 2 days ago
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CHAPTER ELEVEN ━━ The Story of Us
❀ ━ pairing: paige bueckers x oc (jo jacobson)
❀ ━ word count: 5.8K
❀ ━ warnings: mentions of cheating
❀ ━ links: my masterlist, nobody gets me masterlist
❀ ━ author’s note: never date a penn state boy (i say this from experience)
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JO FEELS her body move before her mind can fully catch up, her legs shaky as she pushes herself off the bed. The room feels suffocating, suddenly too small, too loud in its silence. Asher’s phone is still in her hand, the weight of it like a lead anchor pulling her into the crushing reality she can’t seem to process. Her fingers tighten around it, her knuckles white, but her face betrays nothing. Not yet.
“Asher,” she says, her voice calm, steadier than she expects, even though it feels like there’s venom in her blood, poisoning her. “Get your shoes on.”
He’s standing near the bedroom door, mid-step. Confusion flashes across his face, his brows furrowing. “What? Why?”
Jo meets his eyes. The familiar green she’s known her whole life. But then his gaze flickers down, just for a split second, to the phone in her hand, and she sees it—the faint, fleeting flicker of something that looks like realization. Panic, maybe. Guilt.
Her chest tightens, and she feels like she might choke on the sudden wave of nausea that rises in her throat. But she doesn’t let it show.
“Just… put your shoes on,” she repeats quietly, her voice still calm, still too steady. She doesn’t trust herself to say anything else yet.
Asher hesitates, his mouth opening like he might argue. But then he closes it again, his jaw tightening. He nods, moving toward the corner of the room where his sneakers lay. He doesn’t ask any more questions, but Jo can feel his unease growing with every passing second.
She starts to walk, leaving the bedroom to go put on her slippers near the apartment door. Her grip on the phone is still so tight that her hand aches, but she doesn’t let go. Her thoughts are loud, a deafening roar in her head, but at the same time, she feels hollow. Empty.
This isn’t real. It can’t be real.
The words keep looping in her mind, a desperate chant she clings to even as the truth sits in her hand, undeniable. She doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t want to have this conversation, doesn’t want to fight, doesn’t want to see whatever’s written in his face when she says the words she knows she has to say.
She’s not a fighter. She never has been. She’s kind, and forgiving, and willing to let things slide because she hates conflict, hates the way it leaves scars on her heart and the hearts of the people she loves. But this? This is too big to let slide.
She thought she knew him. She thought he was hers.
Asher’s been her constant, her everything, for as long as she can remember. The boy next door who she used to finger paint with when they were kids. The boy who held her hand when she was anxious on the first day of middle school. The boy who kissed her for the first time in eighth grade, on one of the picnic tables at their neighborhood park.
He’s the only boy she’s ever thought about, ever wanted, ever loved. She built her future around him in her head—her dreams of getting married, of starting a life together, of building something that would last forever.
Forever.
The word feels bitter in her mouth now, a cruel joke. She can feel the cracks forming in her heart, the fissures that threaten to split her in half.
When Asher finally walks out of her bedroom, his shoes tied and on, he looks at her, his face unreadable. Jo avoids his gaze, focusing on the door instead. “Come on,” she says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.
He follows her without a word, and they step out into the hallway, the soft click of the door closing behind them echoing in the stillness. They have to do this outside; Jo doesn’t want to wake up Paige.
The Jacobson girl stops a few steps from the door, turning to face Asher. She keeps her grip on his phone, her fingers trembling now despite her best efforts to stay composed. Asher stands there, his hand shoved into his pockets, his eyes darting between her face and the phone. She can see it in his posture now, the way his shoulders are tense, the way he’s chewing the inside of his cheek. He knows.
But he doesn’t say anything. He’s waiting for her to speak first, and for a moment, she almost can’t. She stares at him, her lips parted but no sound coming out, her throat tight and dry.
She doesn’t want to do this.
But she has to.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she takes a deep breath, the sound shaky and uneven in the quiet hallway. Her voice is soft, almost fragile, when she finally speaks.
“So, her name’s Brooke?”
The moment the words leave her mouth, Jo watches as Asher’s expression crumbles. His face twists, guilt flashing so obviously across his features that she doesn’t even need to hear him confirm it. But then he does, stumbling over his words in a rush to apologize.
“Jo, I—God, I messed up. It was a mistake, okay? It—it only happened once, I swear.”
For a second, she just stares at him, her mind short-circuiting as it processes the words. Her heart feels like it’s collapsing in on itself, cracking with every beat, and yet she somehow still finds the strength to blink back the tears threatening to spill over. She gives him a look then, one that she knows has to cut deep.
“Why are you still lying?” she asks, her voice quieter now, but sharper, trembling at the edges. “I looked through your texts. You’ve been seeing her since September.”
The tears in her eyes blur her vision slightly, but she can still see the way his face falls completely at her words. His mouth opens, like he’s about to defend himself, about to deny it or say something—anything—that might patch up the gaping wound he’s just ripped open. But no words come out. Jo can tell he’s scrambling now, reaching for an explanation, a lifeline, but nothing comes.
Jo lets out a small, bitter laugh that feels foreign to her, a sound so unlike the person she usually is. Her body feels cold, her chest hollow, like everything inside her has been scooped out and left her with nothing but this raw, gnawing ache.
Her voice wavers as she speaks again, the tears finally slipping free, her composure fracturing under the weight of it all. “If you wanted to break up for college, we could’ve. You could’ve just told me that long distance would be too hard and you wanted to see other people. I would’ve—I would’ve understood.” Her voice cracks at the end, and she hates how small she sounds, how stupid she feels. She’s giving him too much credit, too much grace, but she doesn’t know how to be any other way.
“You didn’t have to cheat on me,” she continues, her voice rising a little now, her hurt spilling over into anger, “and then—then pretend like you still love me.”
The tears come faster now, hot and unrelenting, but she doesn’t wipe them away. She lets them fall, lets him see the full weight of what he’s done.
Asher steps toward her then, closing the space between them, his hands reaching out as if to comfort her. “Jo,” he says desperately. “I do love you. I love you so much. I’m so fucking in love with you, okay? I just—” he pauses, choking before continuing, “—you weren’t around, and I was missing you so much, and you’ve been so busy with basketball—”
She steps back before he can touch her, shaking her head, her voice cutting through his excuses. “—when then gives you the right to have sex with another girl? To tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen?”
Her words seem to hit him like a physical blow, his face paling as he shuts up. Jo doesn’t stop, though. Her voice is sharp now, full of a fury she rarely ever allows herself to feel.
“I saw the texts,” she says again, now shoving the phone back into his hands. Her breath hitches as another sob escapes her throat. “It doesn’t really seem like you still love me when you’re talking to someone else like that.”
Jo feels the air in her lungs grow heavier. The hallway is too quiet, every sound—her shallow breaths, the faint hum of the fluorescent lights overhead—feels deafening in the stillness between them. Asher stares at her, his lips once again parting and closing uselessly, trying to find words that might somehow undo all of this.
“Jo, please,” he says finally, his voice thin and frantic, like he’s clutching at straws. “It didn’t mean anything—she doesn’t mean anything. I was lonely, okay? I was missing you so much, Jo, so much, and I just—I made a mistake. A huge mistake. But it doesn’t change how much I love you.”
His words hit her like a stab to the chest. The sheer audacity of them leaves her feeling sick, like her body can’t keep up with the reality of what’s happening.
“Why would anyone do this to someone they love?” she asks slowly.
Asher shakes his head, stepping toward her again, but Jo takes another step back, hitting the wall. She’s never felt so trapped—trapped between the ghost of what they were and the cruelness of what they’ve become.
“It wasn’t like that,” he says, his hands gesturing wildly, desperate to make her understand. “You were always on my mind, Jo. You’re always on my mind. But you weren’t there, and I was—God, I was so fucking stupid.”
Her chest tightens, a sob clawing it’s way up her throat. “You knew I wouldn’t be there!” she says loudly. “You knew since I committed nearly two years ago! That’s why I’m saying you could’ve just broken up with me before we both went to college instead of doing—this!” She gestures to the phone in his hand, the tears still spilling freely down her cheeks, mixing with her mascara. She probably looks insane.
Asher takes another step closer, and Jo flinches without meaning to. She sees the way his face crumples at her reaction.
“Jo, I’m sorry,” he says pleadingly. “I’ll do anything—anything to make it up to you. Please, baby, I’ll never talk to her again. I’ll block her, I’ll delete her number, I’ll—”
Jo cuts him off, shaking her head violently. “It’s not about Brooke!” she cries, the name tearing through her like glass. “It’s about you! It’s about the fact that you lied to me, that you betrayed me, that you’ve been doing this for months! It’s about the fact that you’ve made me feel like I’m not even enough for you anymore.”
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he says weakly.
Jo lets out a noise between a laugh and a sob. “Well, you did,” she tells him firmly.
She doesn’t know when she starts crying harder, but suddenly, her body is wracked with sobs, her chest heaving as everything she’s been holding in comes pouring out. She can hardly even breathe.
And then Asher’s dropping to his knees in front of her, his hands reaching for here. “Jo, baby, please,” he begs, tears forming in his own eyes. “Please, let me make it up to you. I’ll transfer if you want me to—I’ll come here, be closer. I just—I love you. I love you so much. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose us.”
His hands are warm against hers, but she barely feels it through the numbness creeping into her limbs. She stares down at him, her vision blurred with tears, and for a moment, she thinks about all the years they spent together. When they were younger, when they were older. Every moment, every memory—they flash before her eyes like a cruel montage of everything they’ll never be again.
Jo pulls her hands away from his, her chest aching like it’s being ripped in half. Her voice is small, barely above a whisper, but it’s absolute. “No matter what, I’ll never be able to trust you again,” she says, the finality of her words settling heavily between them. “I can’t have a relationship with no trust, Ash. I love you—I’ve always loved you—but I can’t do it. I can’t.”
The words ring out and, for a moment, they stay where they are. And then Jo turns and opens the door to the apartment. Her fingers tremble against the knob as she pushes it open, but she doesn’t stop. She can feel the way Asher stands from his knees behind her, hovering a mix of desperate and disbelief radiating off him like a suffocating heat. She steps inside, her legs feeling like jelly beneath her, and she doesn’t turn back to look at him when she hears his footsteps following her.
“Jo, please,” Asher says again, his voice cracking, the way it always does when he’s on the verge of tears. “Let’s just—keep talking, okay? I’ll do whatever you want, just… don’t do this.”
But there’s nothing left to talk about. Not now. Not after everything.
Jo’s head pounds as she crosses the room, her eyes scanning for the things he’ll need to leave. His coat is slung on the back of one of the chairs, and his keys and wallet sit on the table. She grabs both, her hands shaking, and turns back to him.
“Asher,” she says, raw and unsteady, “please.” She holds out the coat and keys to him, her arm outstretched like it’s the only way she can keep any distance between them. “If you love me like you say you do, please leave. Please.”
He doesn’t take them at first. He just stands there, staring at her with wide, red-rimmed eyes that make him look younger than he is, like the boy she used to know. Her next-door neighbor, the boy who used to race her to the ice cream truck every summer. The boy who brought her flowers from his mom’s garden the first time he asked her to a school dance in eighth grade, nervously holding them out to her like they were the most precious thing he’d ever touched. The boy who kissed her on the Ferris wheel, telling her he’d never seen anything prettier than the way the lights reflected in her eyes.
Jo thought that boy was perfect.
But now, that boy is clearly gone.
“So this is really it?” Asher asks, his voice barely a whisper. He finally takes the coat and keys from her, his movements slow, almost mechanical, like he’s not fully in his body. His words hang in the air, heavy and final, and Jo feels like they have hands and they’re suffocating her.
She bites her lip hard, the metallic tang of blood sharp on her tongue. A sob claws at her throat, but she swallows it down, refusing to let it out. Because—God—she doesn’t want this to be it. She doesn’t want to end this chapter of her life, doesn’t want to say goodbye to the person who’s been by her side through everything. She thinks about all the time they’ve spent together, the endless summers of childhood spent chasing fireflies in their backyards, the countless nights they stayed up late talking about everything and nothing. She thinks about the way he used to cheer for her at every basketball game, the way his laugh uses to make her feel like the world wasn’t so big and scary.
But then she thinks about the texts. Brooke. The lies. The betrayal. The pain of knowing that the person she loved most in the world didn’t love her enough to stay faithful. And she knows—she knows—that she can’t stay with him. Not after this.
So, with a terrible, gut-wrenching finality, Jo forces herself to meet his eyes. Seafoam. She’ll never look at them the same again. “Yeah,” she tells him. “It is.”
Asher flinches like she’s just slapped him, and for a moment, he looks like he’s going to say something else, like he’s going to keep fighting. But then his shoulders sag, and the fight leaves his body all at once. He nods slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, and the sheer heartbreak in his expression nearly undoes her.
Jo takes a shaky breath and steps toward the door, her movements stiff and unnatural, like her body doesn’t belong to her anymore. She holds the door open and watches as Asher hesitates, lingering in the threshold like he’s waiting for her to change her mind.
“Um,” she starts, staring at the floor, unable to meet his eyes anymore. “I’m not gonna be back in Boston for break. I’ll be on that ski trip with my family. So, uh, when they get back, you just… you get your stuff from the house and bring mine back to them, okay?”
For a long, excruciating moment, Asher just stands there, staring at her like he’s trying to memorize every detail of her face. Then, finally, he nods. “Okay,” he says quietly.
He steps out into the hallway, and Jo closes the door behind him with trembling hands. The moment the latch clicks into place, she presses her back against the door, her knees nearly buckling. She buried her face in her hands and keys the sobs come.
PAIGE LIES in Celeste’s bed, staring at the ceiling, her body tangled in soft sheets that smell faintly of sex and Celeste’s perfume. The room is dark except for the faint orange glow of the streetlamp outside the window, cutting through the blinds and casting uneven stripes across her skin. Celeste is already asleep, her breathing slow and steady beside her, an arm draped lazily over Paige’s stomach.
The weight of the arm feels suffocating. The room feels too still, too warm, and Paige can feel the alcohol from earlier churning in her stomach. She hadn’t realized how much she drank until she laid down, the world tilting slightly when she closed her eyes. She shifts uncomfortably, trying to focus on anything but the growing nausea.
Her phone sits on the nightstand, and she reaches for it, squinting at the brightness when the screen lights up. 3:08 AM. Jo and Asher should be asleep by now, she thinks. The thought is a small relief, though she hates that it’s on her mind at all. When she’d come here earlier—straight from Ted’s—it wasn’t just for Celeste’s company. It was to avoid them. Avoid the sight of them fueled up on the couch, or worse, the sound of them behind Jo’s closed bedroom door.
But lying here now, with the alcohol making her stomach roil and Celeste’s soft breathing only amplifying the pounding in her head, Paige knows she can’t stay. She hates being sick, hates it even more when it happens in someone else’s space.
Carefully, she moves Celeste’s arm off of her, sliding out of bed with practiced quiet. She pulls on her jeans and shirt, then her coat, then slips on her sneakers and grabs her phone. By the time she’s in the hallway, she’s regretting every drink she had tonight.
The walk back to the apartment feels endless. The streets are deserted, the air sharp and cold against her flushed skin. She shoves her hands into her coat pockets, her breath visible in the air. Her head spins with every step, her stomach twisting tighter and tighter until—without much warning—she’s doubled over, throwing her guts up into a bush. It’s humiliating, even though no one’s there to see it.
But after, she feels marginally better. Her legs are still shaky, and her throat burns, but the nausea ebbs, replaced by exhaustion. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, cursing herself under her breath, and resumes the walk home.
When she gets to the apartment, it’s quiet. Thank God. She lets herself in carefully, taking care not to let the door slam, and moves toward the bathroom in the dark. She brushes her teeth quickly before going to her bedroom. There, she toes off her shoes, drops her phone onto her own nightstand, and collapses into bed. The sheets are cold, her pillow soft, and she burrows into them, hoping sleep will come quickly.
It doesn’t.
Instead, Paige ends up staring at her phone, her thumb absently scrolling through TikTok, then Instagram, then TikTok again.
It’s probably a half hour later when she hears footsteps outside her room. She doesn’t think much of it, only registers that Jo and Asher are awake. She thinks she hears the apartment door open, but she can’t really tell. She just resumes her scrolling.
Maybe another twenty minutes pass before she hears the door reopen. There are voices this time, too—Jo and Asher’s. They’re too low to make out what they’re saying, but there’s something off about the tone.
Paige feels her stomach twist again, though this time it has nothing to do with alcohol.
She tries to ignore it, forcing herself to keep scrolling, but the voices continue. Then, suddenly, the sound of the apartment door shutting—loud enough to make her flinch.
Paige sits up in bed. She stares at her closed bedroom door, debating. Curiosity—and something heavier—wins out. Slowly, cautiously, she swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands.
The floor is cold beneath her bare feet as she crosses to the door. She hesitates for a moment, hand on the knob, before turning it and pulling the door open. She steps into the hallway, walking slowly at first, unsure of what to expect. But as she rounds the corner, the sight in front of her makes her heart twist painfully in her chest.
Jo is pressed against the front door, her back flat against it as though it’s the only thing keeping her upright. Her face is buried in her hands, her shoulders trembling with sobs that Paige can hear from a few feet away. The sound cuts through her like a knife, raw and unrelenting.
Paige’s stomach drops, dread pooling deep and cold inside her. She can count on one hand the number of times she’s seen Jo cry, and not even the panic attack she had before the first game of the season looked like this. The sight freezes her for a second, but then she’s moving, instinctively, her feet carrying her closer without hesitation.
“Joey,” Paige says softly, her voice a little unsteady as she steps in front of her. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
She hates seeing Jo like this, hates the helplessness it churns up in her. Jo’s supposed to sunshine and rainbows and butterflies and happiness. Seeing her like this, crumpled and sobbing, feels wrong, like the world has tilted off its axis.
Paige notices, too, that Asher is nowhere to be found, and her stomach knots tighter at the implication. There are only a few reasons why Jo would be crying like this in the middle of the night, and Paige doesn’t like any of the possibilities running through her mind.
She steps closer, only inches away from Jo. She gently reaches out to tug Jo’s hands away from her face. The brunette resists at first, her fingers curling tighter, as if she’s trying to shield herself from the world. But Paige persists, her touch gentle but firm, until Jo lets her pull them down.
She looks wrecked, utterly and completely undone. Her mascara is streaked across her cheeks, smudging into the skin where her tears have carved wet paths. Her lips are trembling, and her eyes—red-rimmed and glassy—hold a look of devastation that Paige has never seen before.
Paige’s stomach drops a little. This isn’t just a bad night. This is something worse.
“Joey,” Paige says again, her voice soft but coaxing. “Joey, talk to me. What happened?”
Jo shakes her head violently, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks. “I feel so stupid,” she chokes out.
Paige’s protective instincts kick in hard, a fierce surge of anger and worry burning in her chest. Jo is her best friend, and Paige can’t stand seeing her like this, so small and hurt and vulnerable. It makes her want to fix it, to fix everything, to hunt down whatever or whoever made Jo feel like this and give them a piece of her mind.
“You’re not stupid,” Paige says quickly, her hands moving to Jo’s face. She cups her cheeks gently, her thumbs brushing over the tears as they fall, even though it’s futile. The tears keep coming, harder and faster, and Jo’s sobs are so harsh now that Paige worries she’s going to make herself sick.
“Jo,” Paige whispers, her tone soothing, steady. “Joey, you’re not stupid. Just tell me what happened. Please.”
Jo looks at her then, and the brokenness in her expression hits Paige like a tidal wave. Jo’s breaths are short and uneven, catching in her throat as she struggles to speak. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she manages to force out a choked answer:
“He’s been cheating on me since September.”
Paige isn’t sure how to react at first. Not because she doesn’t care—no, she cares too much—but because it feels incomprehensible. Asher? Cheating? On Jo? It’s like trying to convince herself the sky isn’t blue or that the sun doesn’t rise in the east. Jo is the kind of person who radiates light, who gives more than she takes, who makes everyone around her better by simply existing. The idea that anyone—anyone, let alone Asher, who Jo has loved since they were kids—could betray her like this? Paige’s chest tightens, a painful knot forming deep inside her.
“Oh, Joey,” Paige says softly, her voice breaking. She steps forward without thinking, wrapping her arms around Jo and pulling her in close. Jo is stiff at first, her body trembling like she’s holding herself together by a thread. But then she leans into Paige, her arms coming around her back, and she crumples completely.
The sobs come harder now, racking Jo’s body as she buries her face in Paige’s shoulder. Paige can feel her shirt dampening with tears, but she doesn’t care. Not even a little. All that matters is keeping Jo held together in this moment when she clearly feels like she’s falling apart. Paige’s chin rests against Jo’s hair, and she squeezes her tighter, as if that might somehow protect her from all of this—might take away the pain.
Her mind flashes to Asher, and the anger that surges through her is immediate, white-hot, and consuming. How the fuck could he do this? Asher, who seemed to adore Jo, who, just earlier tonight, had looked at her like the world revolved around her. He’s the guy everyone thought Jo would marry, the guy Paige didn’t want to like because of her own feelings for Jo but begrudgingly respected because he seemed like he loved her. Paige’s fists clench at the thought of him, the betrayal he’s inflicted on someone so good, so perfect.
Jo pulls back just enough to speak, her voice trembling through the sobs. “I just—I don’t get it,” she chokes out. Her hands are fisted in the back of Paige’s shirt now, clutching at her like she’s a lifeline. “He never seemed like—he would do that. He was never distant or anything. I—I don’t know. It’s just—it’s been us forever. He’s—he’s literally all I know.”
Paige closes her eyes for a moment, biting back her own emotions. She knows this—of course she knows this. Jo and Asher are the couple everyone compares themselves to, the pair who grew up together, who went to prom together, who everyone thought would get married and have a picturesque life together. Paige knows this betrayal isn’t just about the cheating—it’s about the loss of something Jo has held onto her entire life.
And as much as Paige didn’t want to like Asher, she can’t deny that even tonight, when they were all together, he seemed so in love with Jo. He didn’t seem like the type to cheat. Then again, Paige thinks bitterly, a lot of them don’t.
Paige hesitates, her voice careful. “Did you…?” She doesn’t have to finish the question; Jo knows what she’s asking.
Jo nods against Paige’s shoulder, her tears warm against Paige’s skin. “Yeah,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “I broke up with him.”
Paige lets out a slow breath, one she didn’t realize she was holding. She always thought if this moment ever came, she’d feel something else—relief, maybe even happiness. She thought it would mean she finally had a chance with Jo, that the door might crack open. But as Jo sobs in her arms, as her heartbreak bleeds out into the quiet hallway, Paige feels none of that.
Because Jo isn’t happy. She’s broken, and Paige would rather suffer her unrequited feelings forever than see Jo like this. All she’s ever truly wanted is for Jo to be happy, to be the kind of happy that lights up her eyes and makes her laugh the way she does when she’s teasing Paige. This? This is not that.
Paige pulls back just enough so they’re face to face. Her hands come up to Jo’s cheeks once more, cradling her face gently. Jo’s eyes are red and swollen, tears still spilling over. Paige’s thumbs brush over her cheeks, wiping away some of the tears, though they’re still coming faster than she can catch them.
“Joey,” Paige says softly, her voice low and firm, “you are the most beautiful, selfless, talented, smart person I’ve ever fucking met. You don’t deserve any of this, okay? He doesn’t deserve you. Not even close.” She shakes her head slightly, her throat tightening as she continues. “I’m so sorry, Jo.”
Jo nods slowly, her breath hitching as she tries to calm down, but the tears are still there, streaming down her face.
Eventually, Paige convinces Jo to come with her, leading the brunette to her bedroom, keeping a steady hand on the small of her back as they navigate the dark hallway. Paige can feel the exhaustion radiating off of her in waves—emotional, physical, every kind of tired there is. She figures Jo doesn’t want to go to her own room, where everything probably still smells like Asher. And Paige figures Jo doesn’t want to be alone, either. That much is obvious in the way she stays close, almost leaning into Paige as they walk.
Once inside Paige’s room, Jo hesitates by the bed, looking small in a way Paige isn’t used to seeing. Jo’s always been the kind of person who fills up a space just by being in it—confident, easygoing, happy. Now, she’s quiet and folded into herself, arms crossed protectively over her chest like she’s trying to hold herself together. Paige doesn’t like it.
“Stay here for a sec, yeah?” Paige says softly, her voice careful, like she’s afraid to push Jo too far or say the wrong thing. Jo nods, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and Paige slips out of the room.
She goes to the bathroom first, grabbing some makeup wipes from the cabinet. Her mind races as she moves, filled with anger toward Asher, with concern for Jo, with guilt that a small, selfish part of her is glad to have Jo here, with her, instead of with him.
On her way back, she detours into Jo’s room just long enough to grab the emotional support stuffed animal—Bubbles. She tucks the little turtle under her arm and heads back to her room.
Jo hasn’t moved. She’s still sitting there, looking at her hands, the way her fingers twist together nervously. Paige kneels in front of her, setting Bubbles aside for now. She doesn’t say anything at first; she just takes one of the makeup wipes and gently starts to clean the streaks of mascara from Jo’s face. Jo blinks in surprise, a ghost of a smile flickering across her lips.
“I could’ve done it myself,” Jo mumbles, her voice thick and uneven.
“I know,” Paige says simply, and there’s the smallest hint of a smile tugging at her own lips.
It’s a quiet, intimate thing, wiping away Jo’s makeup. Paige works slowly, carefully, brushing over her skin with a tenderness she hopes Jo can feel. When she’s finished, she tosses the wipes aside into her mini trash can and hands Jo the stuffed turtle.
Jo takes Bubbles with both hands, clutching him close to her chest. There’s a tiny moment of relief in Paige’s chest when Jo actually smiles a little at the sight of him. It’s fleeting, but it’s there.
Paige climbs onto the bed beside her, hesitating for a second. The air between them feels heavy, uncertain. Jo curls up on her side, facing away from Paige, and for a moment, Paige wonders if she should leave her alone, give her space. But before she can decide, Jo’s voice breaks through the silence, shaky and fragile.
“Can you—can you just hold me?”
Paige’s heart clenches. Of course. Of course, she can. “Yeah,” she says softly, already shifting closer.
She slides in behind Jo, wrapping an arm around her waist. Her hand comes to rest gently on Jo’s stomach, fingers brushing over the fabric of her shirt in smooth, soothing patterns. Paige doesn’t think much about it; she just does what feels natural. Her face ends up close to the back of Jo’s neck, and she can feel the faint hitch in Jo’s breathing, the way it stutters each time another quiet sob escapes her.
Every time Jo shakes or cries, Paige instinctively tightens her hold, pulling her closer, letting her know she’s there. Jo doesn’t say anything else, and neither does Paige. The silence is filled with the faint rustle of the blankets, the sound of their breathing.
Paige focuses on the rise and fall of Jo’s chest, on the feeling of her heartbeat beneath her hand. It’s comforting, in a way, even though everything about the situation feels wrong. Jo deserves better than this—better than Asher, better than heartbreak. And if Paige could take it all away, if she could somehow absorb all of Jo’s pain just to see her smile again, she would.
But all she can do is hold her, keep her safe in this moment. So she does. She stays there, tracing patterns on Jo’s stomach, her own breathing falling in time with Jo’s. Eventually, Jo’s crying slows, her breaths evening out into something softer, something closer to sleep. Paige doesn’t let go.
She feels her own eyelids growing heavy, the exhaustion of the day—and mostly the night—catching up to her. She doesn’t remember exactly when she drifts off, but the last thing she’s aware of is the warmth of Jo in her arms, the quiet sound of her breathing, and the hope that maybe things will feel a little better in the morning.
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ar-ghilas-vir-banal · 3 days ago
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I do apologize for this😅
These aren’t the words of a man who’s hoping to have an “I told you so” on the other side. He’s saying goodbye. He’s expecting to die. And when Solas thinks about death, he thinks about her. Because she’s who put life back into him in such a way that he is still unable to stop thinking of her.
But that also brings me to a question. This letter is sent and delivered before any of the DAV game takes place. Solas knows she doubts that he loves her, if he ever did. Of all the things he could’ve let her hate him about, let her keep unclear in her head. Kinder in the long run.
So my question: How does Solas know that she needs this? I have to think she said so in a dream. She talked to him. And while he didn’t talk back, he could hear her. “I feel so stupid, you know? I should be focusing on stopping you, on catching up to you… but all I can dwell on is “you weren’t enough to stop him.” How… little what “we had” meant to you. It was everything to me. It kept me sane, when they sang at me and tried to kiss my hand… knowing you were there. That I wasn’t… you understood. And you know what’s the worst part?! I still feel that way, while you stare at me across the Fade. You took my arm, and you kept my heart… and I can’t even be angry at you. Just… if I don’t mean enough to change, then why don’t you just… stop? With this? You’re torturing me and you’re… wasting your own time.”
Solas meanwhile jolts awake and immediately bursts into tears because SHE’S RIGHT. He’s so terrible, he’s terrible!! He adores her and yet he’s managed to make her feel so very worthless. Used.
When she’s his first thought when he wakes and his last one when he’s finally managed sleep? When the Lighthouse is crumbling because all he does is sit and think of her in this room or that room. This isn’t how you love people. He’s wrong. He’s ugly. She should be free of him… maybe soon she will be. But it’s so distressing to him to think of her assuming he never loved, he doesn’t love her still… he has to write.
At first, its pages and pages… but then he sits and stares at them and shakes his head. Into the fire they go. No. She deserves simply and straightforward, his honesty. He writes one page, says everything succinctly. I wanted to stay with you, as Solas. That’s important for her to know. What he wanted was just her. She very nearly broke him of his duty, and and ends it with “what I feel for you will never change.”
Present and future. You’re everything.
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Why do they do this to me 😭
"And simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted"
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purble-turble · 1 day ago
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I know TT Red takes place Season 1, but how do you think he handles S2 to S5?
There's so many ways this could potentially go, where on so many ocassions TT Red goes to the future in the middle of an adventure and gets traumatized way more than how much LBD did to MK.
Season 4 would be such a mess, especially if all of TT Red's experiences got documented in the scroll of memory once he got sucked in, and then MK and Mei had to go through so many of these futures trying to find TT Red.
AND SEASON 5. Oh dear I think I know how this would make sense now:
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This is post season five and TT Red's way of going "I don't want you killing yourself all over again, this is for your protection. Just like for Wukong, I want you to be out of trouble. Please trust me I love you dearly (BUT NOT TOO MUCH) and I wanna make sure you're alive and well."
TT Red becomes an absolute wreck by the end of lmk so far and I think it would absolutely show during this sort of timeline.
Oh my god.. ok, so that Season 5 aftermath you proposed is great, but I HAVE to focus on what you said about the memory scroll for season 4 because it’s fucking amazing!
Red Son gets pulled into the memory scroll, but instead of just being his past in its relation to Journey to the West, EVERYTHING he has done, including all the futures he has had to visit, all have had an influence on how the scroll appears for him.. He’s got some wild, temporal/interdimensional nonsense going on with him that makes the scroll act in unusual ways, so honestly why are they even surprised? 😂
MK and the gang all have to find their way through a bunch of different universes in which there are different versions of themselves but also almost every one of them has a Red Son, too.. So not only do they have to watch out and not lose track of each other lest they not know which of them is which (they definitely do at points, maybe even all getting split up and ending up in a future of their own) but they also need to figure out which of these Red Sons is actually THEIR Red Son so they can jar his memory and get him back to his normal self… this is easier said than done.
Also, it gives them all a little taste of just how fucked up TT Red’s solo time adventures are sometimes. They see versions of the world where the city is destroyed, where demons have destroyed Pigsy’s Noodles, where one or several of them have died, that one where Red Son sacrificed himself and MK is left sad and hollow.. not all of them are so bad, though. Maybe they get lucky and stumble upon one where it’s way far in the future and Red and MK are happily married with a family, and MK hopes beyond hope pLEASE let this Red Son be HIS Red Son… it’s not, but boy that would have been nice if that was his, like, “true self” or whatever this scroll is doing to them.
Eventually they make it to the start of it all: Demon King Red’s timeline. MK is desperate at this point to find his Red Son, but when he makes his way into this lavish throne room and sees a king version of Red sitting on a throne, he’s like “oh FUCK no. That is definitely NOT my Red Son.” All his friends are hemming and hawing like, well, maybe it could be?? Isn’t that how Red Son sees himself? Isn’t becoming that guy what he’s afraid of??? It’s kinda shitty, but maybe the scroll WOULD turn Red Son into Demon King Red.
MK isn’t convinced. He insists that it’s NOT POSSIBLE. In fact, he uses his Smartie Kid brain and deduces that, for all the rest of them, they were lost in a role of a person that they used to be, whether it was a reincarnation or an ancestor or whatever their deal was… but Red Son has never been (and NEVER WILL BE, MK insists) Demon King Red. So they’ve been going about this all wrong. They shouldn’t be trying to find the Red Son for each of these timelines and seeing if their Red has been turned into them.. they should be trying to find wherever their own Red Son would be in within that timeline!
In the case of Demon King Red, MK remembers what he was told about his time in the palace.. he dodges a hug from the mad king, leaving his friends to hold him off, and scoots right past him to make a break for the dungeon. He finds his Red Son locked up down there- short hair, tattered jacket, square glasses and all.. but something new as well: a red circlet on his head.
When he spots MK he starts to panic, he insists that MK go and leave him there. He shouldn’t have come to rescue him- he’s not worth it! If the mad king finds MK there, it will be all over, and freeing Red Son isn’t worth the risk! MK pries open the cell and reaches out for Red, insisting that isn’t true. He’ll always be there for him, even when he’s at his lowest because he loves him! Red Son still doesn’t go for his hand, falling back and curling in on himself in despair. He insists again that that makes no sense… MK should hate him. He would be fully justified to leave Red behind to rot in this cell forever.. it’s no less than he deserves.
MK has to grab him, cupping his face forcefully in his hands and making Red Son look up at him again to stop him from spiraling. No, he shouts, that’s wrong! Red Son doesn’t deserve this! Not one bit of it! He has worked so SO hard to change himself into a better person, and the fact that he is has been through so much and seen so many terrible possible futures but is still trying so hard means he is already a thousand times better than Demon King Red. He is NOT Demon King Red, and thanks to his own tireless efforts, he never will be! All he has to do is not give up that hope to make this better.
Finally, this gets through to Red Son. The fillet around his head disappears, and he blinks a few times in confusion, coming out of the stupor the scroll had put him in… of course the two of them are still in the dungeon, which is extra confusing for Red Son, but MK just takes his hand and leads him back to his friends. They’re still fighting to hold off the scroll version of Demon King Red, and I think upon seeing TT Red Son out of his cell and back to normal, he probably morphs into a horrific, ink monster version of the king.. and let’s say this is the scene where Mei’s sword gets broken and they all get separated again, so things go back to the canon plot line :U
Gosh that was fun.. I do love fitting my AUs into the canon plot~
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sturniozo · 20 hours ago
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Dead Moon
Vampire! Chris x Reader au
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Not Proof-read
Hey guys! I know I have two works in progress already, but it's that time of year where my autistic ass binges twilight 300 times in a month and I've been in love with the idea of Vampire Chris. So, tell me whether or not you guys like this and if I should continue this or scrap it! I'm trying to make it seem twilighty, but also be its own thing. So, some background. The vampire lore will be very very very similar to twilights in many aspects. I wanted them to be older than in twilight so I could include smut because let's face it, we're all horny sluts and would go crazy for Vampire Chris.
Enjoy my loves! Please give me your thoughts and feedback!
Part one
I never gave much thought into how I’d die. I always assumed it would be something normal, and far into my future. A car crash, cancer, old age. Surely not during my college years, and not by my own choice. 
August twenty third was my last day at home, living with my family. My mother helped me move the last of my boxes into my car, crying and hugging me goodbye. I was leaving for college, one that was a few states away. I loved home. I loved the smell of the wet grass and the sun that always shined. I’d miss Cali. 
I was moving to a state where the weather is always gloomy and terrible. No, not Alaska, but Maine. Gloomy and rainy, my least favorite weather. But I was accepted into the University of Maine on a full scholarship. I’d be able to study anthropology without putting my mother out of any money. She struggles enough, being a single mother with three kids. 
My two younger siblings, Carl and Rachel, are twins. They’re five years younger than me and spoiled in their own ways. Carl never listens to anything anyone says and just does whatever he pleases with no repercussions. The only tragedy he faces is his decline in grades. He’s a straight D student. And don’t get me started on Rachel. She’s a liar and a thief, and the reason I’m so happy to move across the country. I had to put a lock on my bedroom door to keep her out and stop her from stealing my things. 
I never bothered my mother with their antics, she has her plate full enough. With a full time and part time job, barely being home, she can just barely pay the bills in the house my father had left us with, one that put my mother in debt as he left as they were still paying off the loan. I got my own job, so I was able to afford things for school, like a prom dress or maybe just splurge on some makeup. I was able to buy my own car the year prior to my leaving. 
I hugged my mother tightly after we had finished loading all my things into my car. “I’ll call as soon as I get there.” I told her. 
“Maine has terrible weather,” My mother stated. “What if the plane can’t land and-.”
“Mom.” I cut her off. “I’ll be fine.” I hugged her tightly once more before turning to my siblings. Despite their faults, I still love my siblings. It’s not fully their fault, they were only 15 at this time. They were even younger when our father walked out. Almost too young to remember him at all. Our mother has been working overtime for the past five years, ever since the bank had sent a letter saying if she doesn't keep up with the agreed upon amount for the payments, they’ll foreclose the house. So my siblings haven’t gotten to have much of a relationship with either of our parents. 
“Come here shit heads.” I said to them and motioned them to come over and hug me. My brother doesn’t hesitate, wrapping his arms around me tightly. 
“I can’t wait to have my own room.” Rachel said as I hugged our brother. 
“Can you at least wait until I’m gone before you make plans to take over my room.”  laugh as Carl lets go of the hug. 
“I’m sorry but I’m 15 and still sharing a room with my twin brother. I’ve been waiting for this since you got a job two years ago. I was hoping you’d move away sooner.”
”Wow. Okay, well you don’t get a hug then.” I mumble as I turn away from her. I always wished for a good relationship with her. But she turned out to be just like all the girls in high school I tried so hard to stay away from. But nonetheless, I love her. And I know somewhere in that black lump of coal she insists is her heart of gold, I know she loves me too.
“Y/n, wait.” Rachel said. I turned around to see her with her head turned away from me, but her arms were held out to embrace me. 
I hugged her tightly. “I’ll miss you so much.” I mumbled to her. 
“I guess I’ll miss you too.” She huffed in response. 
I let go of the hug. I stepped back and looked over my family one last time before I left for college. I got into my car, buckled up my seatbelt, and started off for the airport, my family waving me goodbye in the rear view mirror. 
The plane ride was tiring. I tried to sleep so I’d have energy to unpack at my new apartment, but it was difficult. I had always had difficulty sleeping. Most nights I would have been lucky to get four or five hours of sleep. 
I left the baggage area with all my belongings, thanking god that nothing was lost. I only had a few bags, as I didn’t own much. Of course, then I had to go find my car at a moving lot within the next few days. So, it was all uber and taxis from here. 
It was over an hour ride from the airport to my new apartment. Well, it wasn’t quite an apartment. It was a house, one that me and three other students had to share. Four bedrooms, each with their own bathroom and closet, built specifically for students. Almost a dorm, but believe it or not, more affordable. Especially since three others would help pay rent. 
I got out of the uber, where I met the landlord of the house. He held a clipboard and envelope, standing at the front door talking with who I assume must have been another student. 
From what I had known, I would have been sharing the house with two other girls and one guy. The guy was called Alexander, but he preferred to be called Xan. He essentially had the entire basement of the house to himself. It had one bedroom, a bathroom, its own living space and sliding glass door at the back of the house, where the ground had indented down hill. But it was also where we would all do our laundry, so it wasn’t entirely private. 
The main floor had one bedroom and bathroom as well, along with the kitchen, dining, and main living area. That space was taken by one of the girls, Maya. She was kind, supportive, and for some reason terrified of stairs. 
Then there was the second floor. That’s where Natalie and I had our rooms. And that’s all that was up there. Two bedrooms and two bathrooms. 
The house was on a street of many like it, each housing students from the University of Maine. And each of them, as I at the time rightfully assumed, was owned by the same man and his sons. 
The owner stood at the entrance. I made my way to him to greet him. “Hello. I’m Y/n.” I said to him, holding my hand out for him to shake. 
He looked over his clipboard before nodding, and handed me a key. “This is your only key, don’t lose it, and don’t ask for another one to give away. Keys are for residents only.” He told me, not even looking up from his clipboard. I grabbed the key, and felt his cold fingers. So cold they made me shiver. Does the heat not work in this place? It’s still August and it shouldn’t have been this cold. 
And it wasn’t. It was warm out that day. So warm I didn’t question why he was standing in the shade. He was so pale, another thing I didn’t question. We were in Maine, one of the gloomiest states in the country. This was probably the one nice day I’d ever see in my whole four years I was going to spend there. 
“I see you have already gotten a job here in maine?” He said to me, “Not an on site school job then like a dishwasher or librarian?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said, “I’ll be working as a waitress at a Cafe not far from the school.” 
He shrugged me off, and looked back at his clipboard. “As long as rent is due on time and you’re still attending school, that's all I care about.” He said. 
I nodded, gripping onto my bags as I began to walk into the house. 
“Your room is on the second floor, the one on the right. You’ll have a nice sized closet and your own bathroom.” He said. “One of your house mates is already here, Maya. She might help you settle in.” The landlord turned to me as I held my bags in my hands. “My name is Jimmy, and if you have any concerns or questions feel free to contact me, or my sons Chris, Matt, or Nick by these numbers. We’ll get back to you by the next day.” He said as he handed me a slip of paper. “They will also be staying in a house down the street, they all attend the University of Maine as well.” Jimmy explained.
I nodded in response, and put the numbers in my pocket to make a mental note to put them in my phone later. “So is this a family business then?” I asked.
Jimmy lifted his head to look at me. He smiled softly, almost a smirk. “You could say our family has been providing homes to students for hundreds of years.”
My eyes widened in surprise. Hundreds of years? What housing could they have provided at the start? I shook my head and walked into the house. It was best not to dwell on the tiny details right now. I needed to get settled in. The next day I would start my new job, one that I thankfully got over an online interview. 
I was a waitress at a very popular restaurant in Cali. My old boss had helped me get this job, as he had let me put him down as a reference on my application. 
It didn’t take long for me to settle in. I walked up to my bedroom, opened the door on the right, and was greeted with a bland room, with only a bed with no bedsheets, and an ikea bed frame and dresser. Honestly, I was thankful for those furnishings, since I hadn’t brought my own. 
I placed my bags on my bed, and sat next to them. I kicked my shoes off and started to root through my suitcase full of my clothes. 
My clothes and shoes took up two suitcases and a bookbag, my makeup in a small makeup case the size of a hefty purse, and my essentials such as deodorant and a toothbrush and hairbrush and other things were in a smaller bag. Then there was my school things that were all in my computer bag. No, I didn’t have much. I took everything from home and brought it here, and well, the things I didn’t bring, now belong to my sister Rachel.
I unpacked my clothes and shoes, putting them away in the closet and dresser. Both were less than half full when I had finished. I had put my computer on the dresser, trying to make it into a make-shift desk. I’d get one of those later, once I had made some money. I set my makeup case on the dresser as well, and put all my essentials in the bathroom. 
I started to make a mental list of things I would need. Towels, wash-rags, mirror, desk, chair. The last thing I pulled out of my bag were my bedsheets. I made my bed up, finished unpacking. I had put my suitcases under the bed after. 
I checked the time on my phone. It only took me half an hour to finish this. I left my room to make my way downstairs, hoping to meet some of my house mates. 
Instead I’m met with a taller man, one I know could not be Xan as we had all made a group chat prior to moving in, to get to know each other and sort out who’s room will be who’s, and house rules. Within getting to know Xan, I knew that he was far, far, too short to be this man. Xan was 5’4. He had express his wish for us not to tease him when we all finally met.
This man wasn’t the tallest, but certainly taller than Xan. He was helping one of the house mates, one who I later learned was Maya, bring her things in. The man had dark colored hair, like a brunette, but in a way that you could tell he was blonde at a younger age, and his hair had just gotten darker with age. He didn’t look too much older than me either. Maybe just a year or two? 
He was holding Maya’s boxed dresser like it was nothing, carrying it to her room. He didn’t look like he had the muscle to carry it with such little ease, but he did. 
He wore a red jacket over a black shirt, and loose fitting black jeans. Such warm clothes for the weather we’re having. I thought it was odd at the time, but didn’t question it. I knew people in high school that wore the same hoodie everyday to school, no matter the weather. 
He passed me as I stood on the steps of the stairs, locking eyes with me. He had dark piercing blue eyes, and pale skin surrounding them. His eyes looked sunken, like he’d never slept in his life but still was refreshed for the day somehow. 
His face contorted into a grimace when he passed me. Was I really that repulsive to him? He turned his head away from me as he continued to help Maya bring her things into her room. 
Maya was more prepared than I was. Or at least she had more things. She did bring a desk and towels and a mirror and her own dresser and bed frame. She came fully prepared to the house. 
The more the day grew on the more I realized I was the least prepared person of the house mates. Xan had already set up before I had even got here. He was just in the basement doing his own thing and ignoring everybody, which I would soon learn is normal behavior for him. Natalie settled in last, but just after Maya had finished bringing all of her things in. The man had left after helping Natalie, not saying a word to me the whole time, as if he was avoiding me completely on purpose. 
It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was one of Jimmy’s sons. I didn’t know which one just yet, but after I saw him get into a car with Jimmy after helping Natalie settle in, it clicked in my brain. 
Jimmy had said his sons were living in a house down the street, and that they attend the college as well. I wondered if I’d see this guy again, whether in school or sometime else, and if he’d always avoid me like that.
Maya came running up to me as I walked down the stairs to make my way into the kitchen. “Y/n, right?” She said. 
“Yeah, that’s my name.” I muttered back in response. She followed me as I went into the kitchen for a snack. 
“How do you feel about a block party?” She asked me. “The whole block is throwing a party for the week before school starts.” She stated.
“The whole week?” I asked. 
“Well, the whole week nights. All the houses are open doors and I wondered if you would be okay with our house being involved?” She looked at me with puppy eyes. 
I opened the fridge door and pulled out my bologna lunchable. I loved those snack lunches, when I still could eat food. “What did Natalie and Xan say?” I asked.
“Nat’s all in, she loves a party.” Maya exclaimed happily. “And Xan’s fine with it as long as the basement door is locked and no one disturbs him.” She looked down with a slight smile. I should have guessed then that Maya had a small crush on Xan, but at that time I was too wrapped up in myself to notice anything significant. 
“Okay, I’m in.” I said. 
Maya looked up with bright eyes. “Really?” She smiled big.
“Only if I can have the same rule as Xan.” I said. “I’ll lock my bedroom door and not be disturbed.” I crossed my arms, lunchable still in hand. 
Maya’s smile faltered slightly, but she still seemed happy and content with my answer. “Okay, deal!” She said with a smile. She left the kitchen, meeting Natalie in the living room, and told her the ‘good news.’ They both squealed in excitement and started planning decorations and themes. 
I took a deep breath and made my way back up the stairs and to my bedroom. Night parties for a whole week before school starts. I always hated parties. I never had close enough friends to go to them with. Even at high school events and dances I didn’t attend, I hated the thought of everyone seeing me in my loneliness. 
I sat on my bed and started on my lunchable. I opened my computer to put on a show to watch while I ate my snack. 
Hours passed, the sun had gone down. I was laying on my bed half asleep, trying to pay attention to my show but failing. I had almost drifted off to sleep when I heard footsteps and voices and music begin downstairs. I guess the party had started already. Figures, the one time I might sleep I get interrupted. 
I sat up in my bed, continuing on with my show. I made it through two episodes before feeling the need to stretch my legs. It wasn’t too late at night, only around eleven. I walked over to my window to give my legs a little bit of exercise, and looked upon the street. 
My eyes got caught in the stare of the man that helped Maya earlier today. He was standing on the street with a cup in hand, along with two guys that looked very, very similar to him. I was right to assume that those were his brothers. 
It didn’t surprise me that they would attend these block parties, with their family owning the houses on the block. It did startle me that as soon as I looked out my window, he was already looking at me. 
I felt a chill go down my spine. My hair stood on end as my lip quivered. The man’s brothers paid no attention to me, conversing with each other and presumably with the man who paid little to no attention to them. 
I took a step back and closed the blinds of my window, shuddering at the moment that passed. I walk back to my bed when there's a knock on my door. I looked up in confusion. I was sure no one would bother me, as Maya and Natalie blocked off the whole staircase. Only the main floor was accessible to the guests. 
I walked over and opened my door, and to my surprise, it was him. How did he get here so fast? Not ten seconds ago I saw him on the street outside the house, and now he’s at my bedroom door. 
“Who are you?” He asked me in a gruff tone. 
I paused for a second, confused about the question and what was going on. “What?” I managed to say. 
“Who are you?” He asked again. “What are you doing here?” He added. 
“I’m Y/n, I’m attending the University of Maine.” I said. “Who are you?” I added.
“Chris.” He said. “My family owns these houses.” 
I nodded in response. I had so many more questions. How did he get to my door so fast? Why did he glare at me earlier today? Why has he taken such an interest in me? Why was he staring at me from the street?
He stared at me for a moment. Glaring like he did earlier. He seemed disgusted and intrigued with me. Like I was a gross thing he wanted to figure out. 
I took a step back, uncomfortable with the situation. Chris seemed to take this as an invitation and swiftly entered my bedroom. 
He looked around, seeing the barren room. The soft blue bed sheets, ikea furniture that came in the room already. He looked back at me with the same confused look he always has on his face when he looks at me. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked. 
“Like what?” He said, looking away from me. 
“You know what I mean. You made that face when you saw me earlier today too. Like I sink or something.”
Chris scoffed. “Maybe you do.” He said with a smirk. 
My face reddened with embarrassment. I looked down and sniffed my shirt. Maybe I’m blind to my own smell, I thought. I smelled no different than usual, like fresh laundry and lavender body wash. 
I looked back up at Chris, who was watching me intently. I had grown more uncomfortable with the situation. 
“Can I ask you to leave?” I said. 
Chris shrugged. “You can.” He walked to the door and looked back at me. His eyes roamed up and down my whole body, causing me to shudder again. He made the confused and disgusted face once again before leaving. 
I shook off the discomfort before I sat back down on my bed. God I hope I don’t have to deal with that guy often.
Taglist: @bernardenjoyer @sturniolosreads @mbbsgf @xxsadlovexx @whicked-hazlatwhore @sturnsgirl1 @keira324 @stuniolobbg @timmyscomputer @meg-sturniolo @sturnioloenthusiast @nickdevora @hearts4chriss @carolinalikesthings @mattscokewhore @tillies33ssss @junnniiieee07
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hpdfag · 2 months ago
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i need to ramble hold on. spawns in a cut so that people dont get blasted by unfiltered posting on their dash. i feel the need to disclaim that im only like 50% lucid right now so this might be disorganized or complete word salad i can't really tell right now
i love him so much it feels like it's consuming me from the inside out. i don't want to do anything that isn't for him. the only reason i haven't quit my job is because i want to make him proud of me. even playing games makes me guilty, because i know it's not with him. i married harvey in stardew. i ate the stardrop for getting 12 hearts as i kissed him. the taste reminded me of hinata. it's a strange irony.
this false body feels like it's trapping me, keeping me from achieving my true metamorphosis. there are streetlights glimmering in the distance. as i try to move towards them they always fade away. the morning will come in 7 hours and 43 minutes and the sun will rise and it won't blind me awake. i'm not reverent enough.
i should pray. not to jesus, not to any other false prophet. i should pray to Him. maybe that will bring me salvation? maybe that will free me from this hell? maybe it happened because i was unworthy of being one of his trusted apostles. if i was as holy as he was it would have been different, i would still have been beneath him but i would have served my divine purpose as his servant.
but that's not important. i dont think. im jor sure. i hate it. i hate Him. i feel like i should Worship him. there's a certain something i still havent fixed a glitch in my code i need ocean breeze summer sun beach sand shining brilliance he's perfect i need him i need warm sun and dry land i need to be with him on the floor i need to hold him i need need need need need need need.
more than air more than food more than clean clothes more than water more than anything else more than i need this terrible mortal life i need to become worthy for him of his love of his care of his touch i wont deny that i selfishly want him to hold me and touch me even though im unworthy even though im no more than dirt beneath him i desire him so deeply
#... servant's song ♪#🍊 ☆ beloved .ᐟ#i find that when im speaking more like... me. i use much more periods and much less exclamation points.#i wonder sometimes if i absorbed stanley at least in part. he very rarely fronts anymore and he talks like “me.”#but that's always how he spoke. before i came back in full. we never fully let go of being me but there was a period of time last year#from december of 2022 to at least november of last year#that i wasnt hosting. which was strange to say the least. it was stanley‚ and then jules. i think our body just couldnt take it anymore#but jules especially inherited all of the worst parts of me. the panic attacks. the delusional episodes. the delirium#he nearly wandered into the road once because he thought elim was calling him back home‚ that he needed to return to cardassia#slowly i came back. his similarities certainly helped me re-assert myself much more seamlessly.#it's almost like i never left. i don't know how to describe it. it's odd.#i feel almost like a parasite. like i'm not living a life that was built for me.#even though i've done all of the work. even though this world was quite literally built for me. even though it speaks to me through the cod#recently‚ the universe has been telling me about my future. and about storms‚ big ones that i'm in the center of.#it worries me. am i just in the eye of a hurricane? where i am i'm still dry. is that only temporary? another storm is coming#im on the end of the 6th loop of the roller coaster. there's another coming up. i worry it'll kill me. i hope i can survive and return home#maybe stanley will re-take the body. or jules. i havent seen him since i returned. even his source can't front trigger him anymore.#maybe he returned to his home. i hope he has. i hope his life on cardassia is beautiful despite all the terror#i see myself in him. i hope i can follow his example. return to my destroyed home and work to build a better future. l#hinata always talked about building the future. he knew there was a path we could carve out for ourselves. i#i want to do the same for myself. here. i want to carve a way back home.#simulated daydreams#<- i think#that tag started as a tag to scream about our ex when we were sobering up but its much more catchall nowadays
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phagodyke · 9 months ago
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wheres the "why is it so saaaad" image with the cat with big sopping watering eyes ouauauuugh how I feel is the embodiment of that
#ow....... my heart 🥹#im not even really sad about anything specific its just been such a long week. and probably the comedown is enhancing it#i just want to cry snottily into someones shirt for like half an hour and maybe ill be okay#its just so haaaard. and i think the meds do help a bit but it still takes effort on my part too. and it sucks a ljttle bit that theyll-#take a while to get used to and maybe therell still be some side effects anyway. and also they could be stopped by shortages at any time#i guess it just scares me a bit the idea of depending on smth like medication just to get a little closer to being a functional human#i wish that came with existing already.. but no point lamenting abt it. the cards have been dealt and its not all that bad really#i just want to be happy.... not all the time but maybe a solid 60-70% of the time. if thats not too much. dont we all girl!!#ah my life is pretty good as it is though and i have a lot to be grateful for. but im allowed to want a little more... right 🥹#im going to go to beddddd. hopefully ill sleep better tonight and tomorrow will be a nice day. at least i dont have to work yayy#ahhh. also its my birthday soon and it always makes me sad coming up to and having a birthday i dont know why..#i dont mind getting older but i guess it makes me feel quite reflective and sometimes its hard to think about the past/future#i want to be able to celebrate birthdays and let people be nice to me and have fun about it! and i say every year ill try better at it#but i never manage to get there it always feels like too much to ask for and too much to take.. ah. well its okay really#ill make myself a cake and do smth fun. and have a good cry at some point but thats just part of the day#not for another few weeks anyway.. okay 10pm lights out zzzz#.diaries
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1-up-chump · 2 years ago
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I'm gonna have to say, and not to be "that guy" but im not hopeful for the new game. Here's my predictions
Moral raiden will die for plot, liu kang will be big sad.
The great kung lao is gonna get screwed over in character in some way or form
Liu kang is gonna have a corruption arc, and either will the final boss (best case) or do some bs anime "no i am better than the past!" And then someone else is gonna be the big bad and its not gonna be shang tsung
Onga will be the big bad but in a stupid way (he's a titan or whatever the fuck unnecessary thing they "added" to the lore. He's shown to be the big baddie but is actually weak compared to his prev incarnations in the games)
Shao Kahn will be the big bad (dumb fan service)
Blaze will be the big bad (bc armageddon will come regardless how many times you try to make ur timeline peaceful, all must come to an end and continue the cycle of mortal kombat)
With how they essentially fucked over their whole divine system (killing the elder gods so cheaply and easily, nerfing raiden, making liu kang the only god, titans are useless additions) i doubt mortal kombat will ever be the same again BUT in a bad/lukewarm way
Im just not hopeful anymore that I'll get my kung fu death tournament again. All i get is a pale imitation of the mcu/dcu but with gore and thats it. And listen, if you like that? Good for you, but as a former fan of superhero stuff? No. I think mortal kombat died and got replaced with something else entirely
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pygmi-says-hi · 4 months ago
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STOP DOING THIS IN INJURY FICS!!
Bleeding:
Blood is warm. if blood is cold, you’re really fucking feverish or the person is dead. it’s only sticky after it coagulates.
It smells! like iron, obv, but very metallic. heavy blood loss has a really potent smell, someone will notice.
Unless in a state of shock or fight-flight mode, a character will know they’re bleeding. stop with the ‘i didn’t even feel it’ yeah you did. drowsiness, confusion, pale complexion, nausea, clumsiness, and memory loss are symptoms to include.
blood flow ebbs. sometimes it’s really gushin’, other times it’s a trickle. could be the same wound at different points.
it’s slow. use this to your advantage! more sad writer times hehehe.
Stab wounds:
I have been mildly impaled with rebar on an occasion, so let me explain from experience. being stabbed is bizarre af. your body is soft. you can squish it, feel it jiggle when you move. whatever just stabbed you? not jiggly. it feels stiff and numb after the pain fades. often, stab wounds lead to nerve damage. hands, arms, feet, neck, all have more motor nerve clusters than the torso. fingers may go numb or useless if a tendon is nicked.
also, bleeding takes FOREVER to stop, as mentioned above.
if the wound has an exit wound, like a bullet clean through or a spear through the whole limb, DONT REMOVE THE OBJECT. character will die. leave it, bandage around it. could be a good opportunity for some touchy touchy :)
whump writers - good opportunity for caretaker angst and fluff w/ trying to manhandle whumpee into a good position to access both sites
Concussion:
despite the amnesia and confusion, people ain’t that articulate. even if they’re mumbling about how much they love (person) - if that’s ur trope - or a secret, it’s gonna make no sense. garbled nonsense, no full sentences, just a coupla words here and there.
if the concussion is mild, they’re gonna feel fine. until….bam! out like a light. kinda funny to witness, but also a good time for some caretaking fluff.
Fever:
you die at 110F. no 'oh no his fever is 120F!! ahhh!“ no his fever is 0F because he’s fucking dead. you lose consciousness around 103, sometimes less if it’s a child. brain damage occurs at over 104.
ACTUAL SYMPTOMS:
sluggishness
seizures (severe)
inability to speak clearly
feeling chilly/shivering
nausea
pain
delirium
symptoms increase as fever rises. slow build that secret sickness! feverish people can be irritable, maybe a bit of sass followed by some hurt/comfort. never hurt anybody.
ALSO about fevers - they absolutely can cause hallucinations. Sometimes these alter memory and future memory processing. they're scary shit guys.
fevers are a big deal! bad shit can happen! milk that till its dry (chill out) and get some good hurt/comfort whumpee shit.
keep writing u sadistic nerds xox love you
ALSO I FORGOT LEMME ADD ON:
YOU DIE AT 85F
sorry I forgot. at that point for a sustained period of time you're too cold to survive.
pt 2
also please stop traumadumping in the notes/tags, that's not the point of this post. it's really upsetting to see on my feed, so i'm muting the notifs for this post. if you have a question about this post, dm me, but i don't want a constant influx of traumatic stories. xox
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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 months ago
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being alive at the time i gleaned some general elements abt encanto but never actually heard we don't talk about bruno beyond awareness it existed popping off & i think i heard like the title recited off key off rhythm but in a way that indicates speak singing nonetheless lol so upon experiencing it it's like oh but it's the Verses? while the last refrain goes harder but prior to that it's comparatively underwhelming to said verses which feels appropriate like verses / pieces of a larger picture & that a "we don't talk about him" as a disappointing Lid on infinitely richer more characterful & dynamic "but: talking about him" instances. like well personally it'd be like um seven foot frame....anyway besides being able to firsthand go like oh damn Real (the kind of thing you know exists if alive at the time) it's like alright hang on lol. one thing when a core theme is yeah like "is it a refuge if 'especial' vulnerability ultimately gets pushed out rather than made safer" subset like the parties whose even observation of truths (problems) & drawing attention to them is seen as Ruining Things, like if you're painted as Making futures that aren't simply what's desired or reassuring rather than a guidance via just observing & sharing the truth. but then it's like whaddaya mean living in fear of bruno stuttering and stumbling you could always hear him sort of muttering and mumbling lmao like now that's just Association between the Truth Perceiving & Telling behavior & behavior that's just apparently distinctive of the same person. & like Not Accidentally when [what if people were magic] specifics are obviously primarily abt a metaphorical meaning & like, indeed it was made clear like oh this situation isn't Just b/c [boo we hate your prophecies] & that [an Ability that isn't directed towards what anyone Wants / is "weird" even by these magic standards] isn't Coincidentally given to someone who just so happens to already be "weird" in other ways & be set up to have a different perspective & be pushed away due to having the supposed "extra" vulnerability of unmet needs / insufficient support, same as someone who doesn't "correctly" have any kind of magic ability....like yeah banger and also like Oh Yeah Kind Of Devastating re: that metaphorical resonance allowing for like [set the metaphor aside] now hang on with this about this disabled family member lol. misinterpretation to The Ruinerrr / The Problemmm / The Maliciousss etc (i.e. the scapegoatinggg) despite their efforts likely entirely to the contrary. then despite like, efforts aside, Just Existing, always kind of muttering & mumbling like & what of it. & then like oh sorry weird pets. weird [auspicious for adaptable tenacious thriving surviving; either way simply creatures, existing] pets.
truly like As Is The Idea I'm Sure quickly becomes like hands behind back standing at the window Uh Oh Sisters musing on all the [disabled person] metaphorical & already literal elements there. blair witching it in contemplation like We've All Been There whether being so resented for the mere disruption of "existing in a group as the 'abnormal' odd one out" or like people talking shit abt anything associated w/you as soon as you've left the room, which is also made relevant like, this wasn't Only directed at this person when seemingly permanently gone, nor were they unaware / unaffected prior....pacing in the Musing parlor like things don't Have to be compared to billions but i only ever even see so many things & it's like billions sure is like "get scapegoated rword" & then said scapegoating is presented as only beneficial & we hate autists & even beyond that it's like, grabbing billions, Imagine If Things Meant To Be About Something Were About Something. quite a contrast when they are & furthermore like, deliberate thought & Care for [who gets scapegoated & why] & the truth of like, people getting pushed aside & out who have a key perspective & are primed / liable to come through for others similarly vulnerable & the supposedly Ruinous, Problems Generating disruptiveness is actually the strongest effort to make essential changes to a group. & come through with like, it'd be undermining thee point if it was "reassuring" us like oh haha people will be supportive b/c bruno will be more normal, so great that it Didn't like no, no Normality Reassurance(tm), presence of abnormalities(tm), Good, & everyone Can Deal b/c if you don't then it's pushing this person away, is exactly what happens, including even if they're still Around but are being mistreated b/c that is entirely part of that pushing away like anyone's victim blaming is ready to pounce at any time but if someone can't stand to stay / leaves b/c they can't see another option like that's not out of nowhere nor Regardless of what full support & flexibility they were getting lol. these Active Measures everyone loves so much, which are everywhere always & would include Staying & Trying To Make It Work & those efforts would be "disruptive" & resented & Bringing It On Oneself & etccc smh
that is to all say like. Woww when clearly basically the core thread was these beats of like, the crucial site of [thee scapegoated], & why that comes down on someone & how that plays out. endless ideas about how someone weird(tm) & disabled (&/or queer. but there's no Or here lol. & again like it's a Context like, to even be the one person without kids? likely not living up to "full" correct sexuality in that way alone; any oppression's logics of "inferiority" being logics of ableism, ready examples being that "inferior" race, gender, sexuality (& their experiences as people classed as inferior) all being pathologized as disordered) are seen & treated as someone Ruining Things & who cannot belong like whew. bracing. winding. which, i also recall like i was watching with headphones & during this one dialogue pause i was like "?? what's this Extra Sound i heard there" & had to go over it like twice before being hit upside the head like well it Was still the dialogue pause but it was also bruno Stuttering in a very quiet whisper for the duration of that pause before continuing like iiiiiiii x_x
#[sitting waiting right here] for billions to have its vulnerable weird scapegoated misfit outcasts actually band together lmao....#like Sure Doesn't b/c billions is like we all hate weirdos & we all love telling them to shut tf up & go away to die or w/e. correctly#can't believe ultimately the Different fund disappears w/o its scapegoat & the Correct ''weird'' char is full axe cap mode finally#& it's sure not a Comment when billions affectionately gives them their free heavenly reward & Ensure zero scapegoating consequences#the [imagine if something about something was about something] approach to Banished Relatives being thoughtful & loving like#& here you see how even As they're banished everything isn't Really fixed for it incl. that people aren't Really just happy he's gone#billions is like no we killed him And everyone has gladly & legitimately forgotten he exists (save the instant it's time to use him)#the hilarious(tm) tragedies surrounding rian like billions' can't make her ''care'' abt winston be anything save more violence#can't pretend rian was anything more than [again we all Know your nads like w/taylor like w/winston] bagina + dialogue source combo in s6#when it's still dimly relevant for prince in s7 but you miss Nothing re: rian if you have no idea that plotline exists#& speaking of actual ''weirdness'' rian was never allowed to have: the tragedy of the tension of Closeted Transness present on screen fr#just as billions has no idea / further willingness to let rian be so ''weird'' as to actually care abt winston or abt not being a bully Lol#meanwhile i figured like oh i'll like a scapegoat. did know ahead of time like bruno's just some guy; not even ''redeemable'' antagonist#but In Practice & w/all that beloved Disabledness & crucial appreciation like you Need this guy; the understanding is Key#like well ofc i would kill for him. ofc just constant like mhm go off king slay fire etc. god tier character cherished forever thanks#but then also like im sure a zillion [intention; inspiration; thoughts] going into Tfw Family Things characters; a zillion interpretions &#thoughts to follow like it truly is Arresting like this clarity on A Disabled Person In The Group like. much much to consider & whew.#reference point like when autistic ppl in some job see an obvious [problem to future mess] pipeline; so you know bruno madrigal. My Vision#When You're So Hated like hey i wanna live unseen w/my so hated little friends lol. just reread how to disappear completely never be found#when it's like grabbing people Who Cares if someone's being ''obviously'' disabled or weird just as how they are existing godddd#people get so mean like Who Cares just talk to them; be around them. some effort some mind your own business some You're Not Above Them#when it's obviously You like yeah. nonzero but limited applicability like [specifically my own nuclear family] but re: Weird; Disabled#as ever i'll Relate & be like but i probably seem nothing like that. or maybe i am very much like that. kind of difficult to tell b/c like#you Do get the disinterest lol & feedback is Not that familiar / in depth even if positive like well. the emergent So Hated / Scapegoating#noting like if a character just seems refreshingly familiar; Understood; comfortable; fun; what's the odds they're cishet allistic lol....#anyway the epiphany like oh it was figurative blink & you miss it stuttering....did [waiiit] Pace that one off like inhaaale Waugh#in fact i'm sure the Verbalizing Effort has staved off the kind of [thinks about all of it a moment] to go Aauughhh about again#which; again; also something happening 5 yrs in re: the clairvoyant soothsayer autistic neuroqueer quant on the show w/No Thoughts abt it#ppl being invalidated by others having to validate themselves (& others in the same boat); billions going & How We Hate Them For It lol#oh & encanto's [excluded party's effort to partake] tragedy vs billions' [where's winston in this office? this event?] good riddance idc
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moonpascaltoo · 3 months ago
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sebastian sallow
MASTERLIST • HOGWARTS LEGACY • 11/22/24
˚‧⁺ ・ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs
𑣲 never forget I @zevrra
where sebastian is actually worried about MC and regrets casting crucio on them
𑣲 caught in the rain I @/zevrra
you and sebastian seek shelter inside an abandoned home where every feeling is laid to bare.
𑣲 truth or dare I @ppomumgranatum
Truths emerged and friendships were tested as you found yourself confronting two years' worth of suppressed feelings towards Sebastian. Drunk.
𑣲 the dance of love’s sweet potion I @/ppomumgranatum
When a potion meant to repel backfired, it became a mishap that turned your world upside down.
𑣲 marry me I @theealbatross
The 3 times Sebastian thought about marrying you and the 1 time he asked.
𑣲 fight the alchemy I @/theealbatross
Garreth asks why Sebastian isn’t dating you. Sebastian spirals.
𑣲 i love you, it’s ruining my life I @/theealbatross
Sebastian has the worst insomnia known to man and you are not dating him.
𑣲 never not been mine I @/theealbatross
Everyone wonders if you and Sebastian are together. Sebastian wonders when will everyone mind their own business.
𑣲 fever (what a lovely way to burn) I @shadowtriovibes
"since you saved Sebastian from Azkaban, he has met you in the common room every morning and you have gone to breakfast together. One morning he isn't there so you go to his room looking for him to find him in bed, poorly.”
𑣲 request I @/shadowtriovibes
Eric Northcott is relentlessly pursuing you, so Sebastian offers to act as your heroic boyfriend to get him off your back
𑣲 break a sweat part 2 part 3 part 4 I @/shadowtriovibes
sebastian makes the house quidditch team after training all summer. before his first match, you let him talk you into a bet over its outcome that will in all likelihood ruin your friendship. (merlin, you sure hope it does.)
𑣲 mind if i move in closer? I @/shadowtriovibes
𑣲 it’s a sign of the times part 2 I @/shadowtriovibes
Rivals-to-lovers Sebastian and MC use a Time-Turner to travel to the future with Ominis in search for a cure for Anne. Instead they find a girl who's the spitting image of MC trying to sneak into the Restricted Section in the 1910s, only she has freckles like Sebastian
𑣲 fissured composure I @anto-pops
After watching you hold your own against a handsy classmate, Sebastian is feeling particularly needy and steals you away to the Undercroft to show you just how worked up your right hook got him.
𑣲 possessive touch I @/anto-pops
Sebastian has never been the sharing sort. He was happy to loan people notes or quills, maybe even the occasional book from the Restricted Section. But not you. Never you.
𑣲 sudsy confessions I @/anto-pops
Sebastian confessing his long-harbored love for you while you’re naked in a bathtub.
𑣲 request I @/anto-pops
𑣲 unspoken attraction I @arthenaa
The girls and you have a talk on who they'll date amongst the students in Hogwarts. No one mentions Sebastian despite being deemed the most handsome in your year. You wonder why?
𑣲 jealously, jealousy I @awkwardauthorwrites
𑣲 i think he knows I @/awkwardauthorwrites
Sebastian helps Y/N with an interesting request
𑣲 violets and verbena I @/awkwardauthorwrites
Two years have passed since the events in Hogwarts Legacy, in which Y/N has drifted away from Sebastian. What happens when she has to spend some time in the hospital wing and he comes to visit?
𑣲 in the middle part 2 I @/awkwardauthorwrites
After a few months of knowing the reader the boys suddenly realise one day they are falling in love with the reader and start to become a bit bitter towards each other and very jealous if another guy gives her attention.
𑣲 wildest dreams part 2 part 3 I @/awkwardauthorwrites
Ten years have passed since the events of Hogwarts Legacy and Y/N is invited back as part of a reunion to celebrate.
𑣲 diesel is desire I @wttcsms
sebastian sallow is a good friend. so good, in fact, that when you find yourself under the ungodly influence of a lust potion, he's willing to help give you some relief.
𑣲 trust fall I @fairytalesandlegacies
Sebastian Sallow teaches you how to fight against the Imperius Curse late one night, and in the process, some long-kept secrets are revealed.
𑣲 i need you I @ravenelyx
Sebastian has different ways of dealing with being hurt. One of them is burying his face in your chest while you cuddle him
𑣲 who do you smell? I @roarieluz
Sebastian Sallow has had a crush on Y/N for a while now, this isn't news to him but when a strong batch of amortentia is made for potions class it is hard to keep his mind clear of anything that isn't about you and what he wants to do to you.
𑣲 the night shift part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 I @writing-intheundercroft
You're the lead healer in the St. Mungo's intensive care unit, and a painfully familiar face ends up in your ward.
𑣲 a long time coming I @undergaunts
aka three times Sebastian is a flirt, one time he gets called out on it, and one time he finally does something about it.
𑣲 pining in potions class I @festivalsofmargot
Sebastian Sallow is forming a huge crush on you, and it’s hitting him all at once in a very annoying way. Something as simple as not being partnered with you in potions class eats away at him.
𑣲 pretty thoughts part 2 I @/festivalsofmargot
Sebastian is down bad for you, my dear reader. But a lot of overthinking on your part makes you blind to it. So, his only option is to keep chasing after you.
𑣲 a worrisome box of chocolates I @matchavellichor
𑣲 you look better in green part 2 I @fierymiasma
In which Sebastian sees the new transfer student wearing someone else’s scarf and proceeds to absolutely lose it.
𑣲 snow, scarves, and schemes I @spaceyaceface
Y/N is sick of Leander Prewett trying to court her. Luckily, she has a best friend named Sebastian Sallow who would love to help put an end to it. They devise a plan to pretend to court up until the Yule Ball. Should be simple, right? If only. 
𑣲 the one who stayed I @talesofesther
For a moment, Sebastian thought he lost you, and now the guilt for what happened is eating away at him.
𑣲 the winner takes all I @justauthoring
in which, leander prewett is a prick and sebastian shows him not mess with his girl.
𑣲 bludgered I @slytherizz
Sebastian never really knew what his friend saw in Isaac Cooper but he never questioned it - he made his friend happy. That is until a Quidditch match goes quickly awry and he realises his feelings for her may go far deeper than simple friendship.
𑣲 between the two of you I @cuffmeinblack
Rewriting of the events of the Shadow of the Study/Discovery quests.
𑣲 i crumble completely (when you cry) I @atlabeth
there's only one way to get into salazar slytherin's scriptorium.
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sheeezu · 24 days ago
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Things to expect when you've mastered shifting
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This isn't the normal "oh you'll feel on top the world" kind of post which just hypes up everything and the sole purpose is to motivate. This is (???) the logistics, the indepth version of what you'll face psychologically.
I've shifted close to about a hundred times, whether it was from this reality, or shifting within a reality I shifted.
This is all from my personal experience, you might experience differently.
⋆ Disassociation: when you shift back to your original reality, you'll often times confuse both reality's memory, of course, we all know this, doesn't matter if you shifted or not. But what I've seen no one talk about is that sometimes events and certain objects from your DR will unintentionally manifest into your CR, just because of how deeply rooted they become in your subconscious. For example, I had maybe mentioned this somewhere else, but in my DR I had scripted expensive china cups, which broke on my second day being there. Well two weeks ago my family was gifted the same teacups (some details were off) and one of them managed to get a crack in them after we served the guests tea in it.
⋆ Weird Dreams: Not only is the concept of the dreams weird, but overall mechanics of it are unusual as well (I didn't shift unconsciously in my dreams, that's one boundary I've established)
For example, dreams with people claiming to know the future, telling me, and it coming true the next day, but it being minor details, people from my DRs channeling me, dreams which involves falling out of reality/finding the end of the multiverse.
Dreams which involves me floating, strong winds which blow away entirely of the void reality (CR), I had started getting this dream since I've wanted to permashift, the wind is so strong and I feel it, I'm usually at my college and or doing a mundane activity in my current reality, everything dissapears and I end up in the void state for the rest of the night.
Once my S/O visited me in my dream, he asked me to come back home, it was a lucid dream so I consciously agreed because I couldn't deny him; ended up in my home reality.
⋆ Feeling weirdly sad about your CR: this one might be personal to me. truth be told, I haven't studied a single day since I've successfully shifted. This year all of my classmates and age fellows are going to start looking at university applications, the ones they mention are usually universities I used to dream all day long about getting into, when I didn't know about shifting. It forms a pit in my heart, the passion I once used to have regarding hardwork by investing blood sweat tears into studying, pinterest board filled with quotes such as "some dreams are worth more than my sleep" not stirring anything within me. It's not that I think I can't get these things, i know i can just shift to a parallel reality and get it, but I just don't want to, I don't feel the same about this reality anymore, slowly letting it go, no matter how much I try to cling onto it, I know I was never meant to be here.
⋆ Personality changes: When you become an expert at shifting its no question that you'd shift very frequently. Those DR selfs would influence your personality, and people can think you're developing a split personality disorder.
Take me as an example, if you look at the posts on my blog, you'd notice a different tone in each one of them, some are in a more softer tone and the others feel clinical.
⋆ Putting your DR family first, even though they're not here: I don't know how to explain this one, so I'd just take an example out of my own experience again.
I was out shopping with my mother for sweaters, the ones we were coming across were really good quality, but I could only think of my S/O, she was pointing out the things she thought I'd like, but I kept looking at the men's sweater, subconsciously trying to pick one out for him, which weirded my mother out slightly.
...
Why am I crying.
Anyways I have planned to permashift out of this reality before new year, it was my childhood dream to blog, but I was too shy to do so and never had anything common with anyone. But I've finally completed the final thing on my list, alongside with meeting my cousin who I adored, I decided to add her to my DR.
That's it, I'll go on and answer the 50 asks in my inbox.
...
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lunajay33 · 6 months ago
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Waiting🖤
Summary: After decades of being alone without a love of his own he finally finds her in a gloomy town of forks, his brother Edward isn’t the only lucky one
Pairing: Emmett Cullen x f! Swan reader
Warning: angsty, fluffy sunshine Emmett
•Masterlist•
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I never thought much about the future until suddenly the friends I adored most started relationships and left me in the past as if our friendship never even mattered, like their boyfriend was the most important thing
My sister and I use to be close as kids but when she moved away with our mom and rarely visited me and dad, who she regularly called Charlie, we grew apart leaving me feeling like I lost all my friends and my sister, after a while I grew depressed and I never wanted to leave the house, dad grew concerned and after many absent calls from school he allowed me to start home schooling myself and my grades have never been better
Most nights it was just me and Charlie some days I’d get the courage to go down to the reserve hang out on the beach with Leah, Seth and Jake, sometimes I’d go for hikes in the forest behind the house just to clear my head, but other than that I’d stay in my room listening to music, reading the books dad would bring home for me, and doing school work
That’s how life was for so many years, it was routine and it never bothered me and dad loved having me around, after Bella and mom left he was so broken and with my help, even as a little girl, I pulled him out of that deep dark hole and he became that Charlie that joked around and made me smile
But then dad got the call that Bella was moving back for the rest of highschool since mom would be traveling with Phil for baseball, hopeful that I could reconnect with my sister again
Dad and I picked out a new bed spread for her hoping she’d love it, and he even let me pick out a new book as a thank you for helping him out with getting everything ready for her arrival, after a few days it was time for dad to go pick Bella up from the airport in port angeles, I was a nervous wreck which was crazy I mean she’s my sister why should I be nervous
Finally the familiar sheriff cruiser pulled up in the drive way, I walked out the door with an umbrella quickly shuffling over to Bella to cover her from the rain knowing how she favoured the warm dry weather, complete opposite of me
“Welcome home Bella!” I smiled as we walked back inside as dad got her bags following closely behind
She shook off her coat and placed her little cactus down on the counter
“You’ve grown so much you’re a year younger but you’re already taller than me” she said as she hugged me
“Come on bells we’ll show you your room!” Dad said as he walked up the stairs with her bags
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She settled in for the rest of the day until it was supper time, I set out the table and dished up our meal, dads game playing in the background as we ate
“So are you excited for school on Monday?” I asked
“Not really but atleast I’ll have you there”
“What? No im homeschooled remember”
“Well…..” dad drawled out
“Dad what did you do?” My heart was racing now at the implication
“I thought since Bella’s back now it would be good for you to get out there again, you need some experiences honey”
“But you know I have no one there, no one wants to be friends with me we’ve been over this”
“You might make new friends honey, give give it a chance for your old man” I sighed slumping back in my chair trying to wrap my head around having to socialize again
“Atleast you’ll be with me, dad said since your grades are so good you got bumped up a grade and can have some certain classes together, depending on our courses” that settled my anxiety a little
Bella and dad cleaned up from dinner as I sat out on the porch, in desperate need for fresh air to do its magic, only 2 more days and I’ll be back in a school again, who knows maybe some new kids have arrived and aren’t too set in their groups yet
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Monday came quickly and I was a ball of nerves, I glanced in the mirror as made sure my hair was just the way I wanted, wearing a casual outfit, simple flared black leggings, a dark rich blue longsleeve with my old worn out dark brown carhartt jacket, quickly spraying my vanilla perfume
I walked down stairs to meet Bella in the kitchen, she grabbed an apple as she picked up her backpack from the table
“Are you ready to go?” She asked
“Almost can I make a tea quickly?” She nodded and I quickly wiped together a chai tea latte, grabbing my lunch from the fridge and meeting her in the truck dad had gotten for us but since I didn’t have my license, seeing as I never needed one before now, she would be driving us
The drive to school was calming, hearing the steady rain fall against the windshield, pulling into the parking lot everyone stared until we got out, I kept my eyes down as Bella led me to the schools main office
“Okay here’s your schedule, we have math together at the end of the day, the bells about to ring so I gotta head to world history are you good to find your way to chemistry?”
“Oh ummm yeah I’ll be fine”
“Okay see you at lunch” she smiled gently before she left down the hall
Looking at my schedule I memorized the room number hoping it wouldn’t be too hard to find, turning the corner I rammed into what felt like a brick wall, dropping my books I look infront of me to see the most beautiful guy I’ve ever seen, his eyes a golden amber, hair as dark as night and his skin as pale as snow
“Sorry about that, I haven’t seen you around before” he said soothingly as he handed me the books that had momentarily scattered the floor, not even realizing he had picked them up, too busy oogling him I suppose
“Oh yeah I’m just re-enrolling here again, just trying to find my class” he looked down at my schedule a striking smile adorning his face
“Come this way gorgeous, got the same class” walking along the mostly bare hallways I noticed his gentle glide, I’ve never seen such a…..well such a perfect human, obviously I was way out of my league if I could think he’d ever be interested in me, I mean I’m plain and simple what would he ever see in me, best I stay in my lane, but dad did want me to make friends so that couldn’t hurt….right?
We got to the classroom and the teacher assigned us to sit together, the class went by pretty boring, every now and then I’d take glances at Emmett and I swear he did the same but he was probably just looking at someone else, moments like this made me wish I was a beautiful as my sister, she never had a problem with guys wanting her, they basically drooled over her, even if she never acted on any offers she was still wanted
It felt like I was a living ghost most days, no one noticed me anywhere I’d go, a big reason I wanted to be homeschooled, now I’m thrown back into this miserable place, I’ll bet by lunch time Bella with have a table full of new friends while I sit alone, not even a second glance from anyone
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Lunch time rolled around and as I entered the cafeteria I searched for Bella and just as I guessed she was surrounded with bright smiles, excited to get to know her, she glanced my way and I waved hoping she’d wave me over to sit but she just gave a half assed smile and got back to talking with her new friends, I felt my heart rip at that, thinking things would be different this time with her here but I guess I was wrong
I found an empty table near the windows and made myself comfortable for another lonely lunch, I pulled out my bag from my backpack but my appetite was lost and I had no desire to eat so I just pushed my lunch to the side and looked out the window just wanting to go home
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{Emmett’s POV}
I couldn’t get her out of my head, she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and her blood sings to me, when she bumped into me in the hallway I felt my whole world shift, she didn’t talk much but just being near her felt right
Lunch came, my least favourite part of the day, having to pretend for an hour, I glanced around the cafeteria hoping to catch a glimpse of my mate again, my eyes landed on her sat alone looking glum a few tables down, the others followed my gaze and smiled knowingly
“Who’s she?” Rosalie asked
“I think she’s my mate”
“Her thoughts are overwhelming loud” Edward stated
“What do you mean?” I asked nervously
“She’s not the happiest girl, I can hear how depressed she is, how unwanted she feels”
“I can feel how broken her heart is” Jasper added
This has to be the worst feeling knowing the one I’m suppose to love unconditionally and she is quite perfect in my eyes, has been broken and feels unloved
I got up from the table and made my way to her sliding in the seat across from her, her eyes were so glazed over with sadness she didn’t even realize I sat down
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{Normal pov}
“So how’s your first day?” I jumped snapping out of my thoughts noticing Emmett is sat across from me
“Oh sorry I didn’t see you, ummm today has been fine I guess, thanks again for helping me earlier”
“It’s not problem, umm I was wondering maybe if you’re not too busy this weekend if you’d wanna hang out?” My heart raced at this
“Really? You wanna hang out with me?”
“Yeah of course, who would wanna spend time with the most beautiful girl in the school” his smile warmed my heart but quickly faded at a realization
“Is this a prank, because if it is it’s cruel” I said as my bottom lip wobbled
“No what? I would never do something like that I really wanna get to know you, so how about after school on Friday I’ll meet you in the parking lot and we can go do something?”
“Okay……sure id really like that” his face beamed with excitement
“Perfect it’s a date then gorgeous”
This felt surreal there’s no way there wasn’t a catch here, how could someone wanna spend their free time with me, but like Charlie said it doesn’t hurt to try, I just hope this doesn’t break my heart more
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Part 2
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gghostwriter · 4 months ago
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Lips of a Gentleman
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Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Part 1 || Future take Summary: A spontaneous museum date alters your relationship with Spencer for the better Trope: Fluff! Just fluff! w.c: 1.2k a/n: This is actually an anon request about going on a museum date with Spencer and interrupting his ramblings with a kiss and I couldn’t help myself so I connected this to ‘Wanted: A Gentleman.’ I also used my favorite painter here as a prop to yap so I hope you like it! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! masterlist
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It was a Saturday afternoon when the BAU team closed a serial killer case in the state of New York. They were called in four nights ago and the stress mixed with a high dose of adrenaline that had run through their veins were on it’s way out of their system, leaving all the members dead to their feet and wishing for much needed rest over the remaining weekend.
“Hotch,” Reid captured his unit chief’s attention as they waited for the remaining members, Morgan and Rossi, to come down from their respective hotel rooms. “I’d like to stay behind, if that’s alright.”
There was a minuscule eyebrow raise from Hotch in question.
“Huh,” Emily mused, a teasing smile appearing on her face. “Funny, there’s also a certain someone that we know—” she gestured to herself and JJ. “—who’s in New York today. Isn’t that right, JJ?”
The blonde profiler let out a laugh. “Yeah, I wonder if that has something to do with Spence staying behind.”
“Well, does it?” Emily lightly elbowed him in jest.
Spencer clears his throat, trying his best to come off casual but utterly failing with his voice going up an octave. “Maybe.”
“It’s the weekend, take your day off,” Hotch conceded. “And Reid, congratulations.”
“For what?”
A tenor voice answered behind him. Morgan, it was Morgan. “For finally getting a girlfriend.”
“Good on you, kid,” Rossi added on, patting his back as he made his way through.
———
Locks of hair were escaping your loosely tied bun as you brisk walked to get to the steps of the MET museum. The emergency meeting with suppliers ran a little later than you anticipated making you already fifteen minutes late from your agreed meet up with Spencer.
A smile graced your face as your thoughts settled on the perfect gentleman. It had been a perfect match made by your three friends, Emily, Penelope, and JJ.
A blind date that had gone so great that it blossomed another date and another. This spontaneous one marked as the fifth and it brought to mind the first meeting at the steps of the Smithsonian and Spencer’s chivalrous move of tying your loose shoe lace.
“I’m so sorry for being late,” your voice reaching Spencer’s ears before he spots you adjusting the straps of your falling shoulder bag approaching his form. “The supplier didn’t come on time so I—I’m sorry.”
He rocked on his heels, hands wrapped around his satchel strap. “That’s alright, I just arrived myself.”
You knew it was a lie but appreciated his effort in trying to make you feel better. That was just one of the many things you could see yourself falling for in Spencer. As if you weren’t already halfway there.
“Shall we?” His lips forming a smile, no doubt remembering those were the exact words he said during the first date.
You giggled, echoing the same response. “We shall.”
“So is there a specific section you want to visit first?” Spencer asked as he flashed two admission tickets at the entrance.
“Hm,” you scooted closer to his svelte protective form, avoiding the onslaught of tourists groups excitedly entering. “The gallery of European paintings?”
He smiled and nodded. His left hand hovering near the small of your back, never touching—its’ warmth penetrating the thick layers of your coat and sweater while the gesture made your heart flutter fast like the hummingbird’s wings.
There was comfortable silence in between you. Inconspicuous side glances and shy smiles that say a thousand more words that seemingly can’t or won’t be spoken out loud. The tranquility was a sharp contrast to the bustling and echoing noise all around the museum as guests discuss with their partners the surrounding art and take photos as personal mementos.
Your feet came to a stop in front of your favorite artist’s work. “I always did prefer his work more than Van Gogh.”
Spencer smiled, gaze warm on your side profile as his eyes traced the escaped locks of hair that framed the modern art standing beside him which was you and your expressive face. His fingers, as if hypnotized, reached out to tuck one side that casted a shadow on your feature behind your pinking ear. “Actually, when you look at Klimt’s early landscape paintings, you could see he took inspiration from the Dutch painter.”
“Really?” Your body twisting to face him.
He studied your body language. Arms limp at the sides, open and trusting. Torso slightly leaning forward, attention fully captivated. And eyes wide, twinkling with curiosity. “Yeah, yeah—” he nodded, his own body mimicking yours and its unsaid language. “—and although Klimt’s colors are stronger in contrast, the impact from having viewed Van Gogh’s paintings in his earlier life can be spotted in his brush strokes and painting subjects.”
“Spence, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but you don’t strike me as an art critic. Is it a side of you that I’m only finding about now?” You teased.
“No,” he laughed, tucking his hands at the front of his jeans to fight the urge to touch you once more. “I read about it.”
“Can you tell me more then?” you further leaned in and whispered. “I bet you’d do a slightly better job than their pre-recorded audio tours.”
Spencer threw his head back and let a few chuckles echo on the walls. Your mind and its clever wit had impressed him since the first date. It was one of the many things he could see falling for in you. That was a half lie. In full truth, it was one of the many things that made him fall for you.
“Well, Klimt’s most expensive painting was previously stolen by the Nazis during WWII when they occupied Austria. Austrian Museum housed it after the war but there was a court battle for it and they had to return it the the family owner. And in 2006, Oprah actually bought it—” your smooth hands cupped his face, bringing his ramblings into a stuttering halt. His heartbeat, nestled within his ribcage, threatening to break from its confines as you stood on your tip toes, leaving a series of small kisses at ends of his mouth before landing on his awaiting lips.
“I—I’m so sorry,” eyes wide as you leaned back from his reach. A move that didn’t widen the gap as his body hunched itself forward, following you in its wake. “I couldn’t resist.”
He answered with a longer kiss, fingers twining with your silky locks of hair that had fascinated him since a while ago. “Don’t be. I’ve been wanting to do that too, I just didn’t know if you’d welcome it.”
You exhaled a giggle, cheeks pink with happiness. “You definitely can, anytime.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” his smile mirrored the euphoria written on your face. If he were to try to describe this very emotion, he’d compare it to walking on cloud nine. To winning a lottery. Or perhaps to finding an invaluable art piece meant just for him.
And while the surroundings were still dull and mundane, there were a burst of colors that splashed Spencer’s world anew as his warm comforting hand now finally found its way to yours and his thumb invisibly painting abstract at the back of your palm.
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Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
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ka1rin · 15 days ago
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Blue Lock Romantic Tropes
isagi, kaiser, sae, rin, reo, nagi x reader (separate)
word count: 1.1k , genre: romance / fluff
note: this story is about what romantic trope would suit these Blue Lock characters. I hope you guys love this!
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Isagi Yoichi — Childhood Friends
Yoichi Isagi had always been head over heels for her—though he didn’t realize it until it was almost too late. She’d been his best friend for as long as he could remember. She was the one who stayed after practice to kick a ball around when no one else would, the one who always seemed to know exactly what to say after a tough game.
But lately, everything felt different. He couldn’t stop noticing the way her hair caught the sunlight or the way her laughter softened the edges of a bad day. He wasn’t sure when it started, but he knew one thing for certain: she wasn’t just his best friend anymore.
They walked home together like always, her voice filling the air with stories about her day. Isagi barely heard a word. His mind was somewhere else, lost in thoughts he didn’t have the courage to say out loud.
When they reached her street, she stopped and turned to face him. “You’re quieter than usual. What’s up?”
He hesitated, his fingers tightening around the strap of his bag. “Do you ever think about the future?”
Her brow furrowed. “Sure. Why?”
“I mean… us,” he said softly, forcing himself to meet her gaze. “Do you ever think about where we’ll end up?”
Her eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath. “What are you trying to say, Yoichi?”
“I think—no, I know—I want you in my future,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “Not just as my best friend, but as… something more.”
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Michael Kaiser — Enemies to Lovers
Michael Kaiser had never believed in losing. In his mind, every match, every argument, every moment in life was a game to be won. That’s why she infuriated him so much. She wasn’t interested in playing by his rules.
From the moment they met, she challenged him—both on and off the field. She had a knack for seeing through his façade, stripping away the charm he used so effortlessly on everyone else. At first, he hated it. Then he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
One evening, after yet another clash on the pitch, he found her sitting alone in the stands. The moonlight caught the curve of her profile, making her look softer than he was used to seeing.
“You’re staring,” she said without looking up.
“Maybe I’m trying to figure you out,” he replied, sliding onto the bench beside her.
“You won’t,” she said, finally meeting his gaze. “You’re not as good at reading people as you think.”
Kaiser smirked, leaning back on his elbows. “And you’re not as immune to me as you pretend to be.”
Her lips twitched, but she said nothing.
For the first time, Kaiser felt like this wasn’t a game he could win—or one he wanted to.
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Sae Itoshi — Second Chance
Sae Itoshi had always been good at letting go. Whether it was friends, family, or teammates, he had a way of detaching himself from people, of moving forward without looking back.
But she was different.
She’d been his calm in the storm, the person who grounded him when the pressure of his career threatened to swallow him whole. He hadn’t realized how much he relied on her until the day he walked away, convincing himself it was for the best.
Now, years later, she stood before him at the airport, looking as composed as ever. His pulse quickened at the sight of her, and for the first time in a long while, Sae felt unsure of himself.
“You’ve changed,” she said softly, studying him like she was trying to figure out a puzzle.
“Not enough,” he admitted, his voice steady but quiet.
Her lips pressed into a thin line, and she glanced away. “Then why are you here?”
“Because I couldn’t stay away,” he confessed. “Because letting you go was the biggest mistake I ever made.”
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Rin Itoshi — Sun and Moon
Rin Itoshi didn’t believe in distractions. He’d built his life around focus and discipline, shutting out anything that might interfere with his pursuit of perfection.
Then she came along.
She was everything he wasn’t—bright, cheerful, and completely unafraid to push her way into his life. At first, Rin had found her presence irritating, but over time, he started to notice the small things: the way she always brought him water during practice, the way her laughter filled the empty spaces of his world.
One afternoon, as they sat in the park, she turned to him with a mischievous grin. “You should smile more, you know. It’s not illegal.”
He frowned, looking away. “Why does it matter?”
“Because it suits you,” she said simply, leaning back against the bench.
Rin’s chest tightened at her words. He didn’t know how to explain that smiling felt foreign to him—except when she was around.
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Reo Mikage — Unrequited Love
Reo Mikage had always been drawn to her. She was different from everyone else in his life, uninterested in his money or his status. She treated him like an equal, never hesitating to call him out when he deserved it.
He’d fallen for her quietly, keeping his feelings to himself out of fear that she’d never see him the way he saw her. Still, he stayed by her side, always there when she needed him, hoping one day she might look at him differently.
One evening, as they sat together in a quiet café, she broke the silence. “Reo, why are you always here for me?”
He blinked, caught off guard. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… you’ve never asked for anything in return,” she said, her voice softer than usual. “Why?”
Reo hesitated, his heart pounding. “Because you’re important to me. That’s all.”
Her gaze lingered on him, and for the first time, he thought he saw something shift in her eyes.
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Nagi Seishiro — Forced Proximity
Seishiro Nagi didn’t like effort. He preferred simplicity, staying in his comfort zone, and avoiding anything that felt like too much work.
So when she moved into his apartment as his new roommate, he wasn’t thrilled. She was loud, messy, and always finding ways to drag him into her whirlwind of energy. At first, he counted the days until she’d leave. But as time passed, he started to notice the way her laughter brightened the dull moments, the way she always made sure he had dinner even if she didn’t cook for herself.
One night, as they sat on the floor eating instant ramen, she looked over at him and smiled. “You’re not so bad to live with, you know.”
Nagi shrugged, his usual indifference masking the warmth spreading through his chest. “You’re okay too, I guess.”
She laughed, nudging his shoulder. “Wow, such high praise.”
He glanced at her, his voice softer than usual. “I mean it. I don’t mind you being here.”
Her laughter faded, and she looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite place. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere.”
For the first time, Nagi felt like that was exactly what he wanted to hear.
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luveline · 4 months ago
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Hii i love the way you write!!! Could you write something about bad ass reader X Spencer? I miss them soo much.... Maybe something about her saying I love you for the first time and she's nervous and he's confused bc he's not understanding why she's nervous and what she's trying to say ❤️❤️❤️
some light spencer fluff ! love u. fem
Spencer has hair like silk. Brown, shiny curls in the milky moonlight of a September sky. The cold air nips his nose and cheeks, leaving ruddy blush like cherry stains that bring out the endless brown of his eyes. His hand is callused beneath yours, evidence of hour upon hour of stooped writing, pen ink on his fingertips, dark black smudges that stretch as they squeeze. He tips his head back to look at the bruising sky and the stars are like pin pricks, close and very, very far as he again squeezes your hand. You’re surprised you can see the stars, but this part of the country is quiet. 
“Wow, look at all of those,” he says, like he’s begging you to see them too; worried you’ll miss out on such a heart-rending sight. 
You let your side weigh on his and look up, feeling the cold of each star above you like a sudden breeze. Your nose is ice, your lips chapping despite a little lip balm you’d rushed on before you left the cottage. It’s a small, beautiful place, decorated by its patches, ivy and cobbled roofing, window panes replaced in different shades of pink and orange and green. You can see it from where you’re standing, a light forgotten in the bathroom. 
Let’s go on a walk, Spencer‘d said, before it gets too cold. 
It’s too cold already. You shiver, forcing more of your weight into Spencer’s side, only slightly abashed as he wraps his arm around you and presses the soft of his cheek to your head. “See that one?” he asks, smiling, “I think that’s the North Star. Brightest one.” 
You close your eyes.
“It’s really cold, isn’t it?” he asks. 
“It’s freezing.” 
Spencer noses your cheek. Your stomach flips, a zapping, sickening electricity bending and aching inside you from his innocuous touch. Intimacy with Spencer has become casual, but not less exciting. You feel him like a contusion, sometimes. Right in the pit of your stomach. It borders on unpleasant, though it never quite gets there. You want him to do this to you for the rest of your life, you think, opening your eyes to catch a last look at the dark sky and its rich field of stars like white strawberry seeds. 
Spencer’s watching you when you drop your chin. You’d scowl if he were anyone else, reluctant to be caught relaxed, but it’s him. 
“You okay?” 
“Shouldn’t I be?” you ask. You’ve given little clue of nerves. You’re as rigid as ever, the softest part of you your hand where he’s petting your index finger. 
“I know when you’re… not fully you,” he says. 
“I’m still me. Just worried.” 
“About what?”
There’s a layer of gutted to his voice you don’t like. You shouldn’t be worried about anything. You and your colleagues at the BAU recently received a pay rise at work, as well as a small bonus, which you and Spencer then cashed to vacation here. It might not be the best time of year, but anywhere with Spencer can be perfect. So far it has been. Waking up with him in a space that isn’t his apartment or yours feels new, startlingly good, it makes you think of the future in ways you hadn’t considered in depth previously. The aching puddle of your stomach yawns again. 
“I have something– something I–” You wince through it as Spencer’s brows rise. “I need to tell you something, Spencer. Before it jumps out of me.” 
“Okay.” His breath is like mist in front of him. His cheeks continue in their reddening. 
“I’m worried I won’t say it the right way.” 
Spencer shakes his head. You’d like to rub some warmth into his skin, but you don’t trust your hands to stay steady. “You’re making me nervous.”
“I’m really happy we’re here. I can’t… there isn’t any other way I’d like to spend the weekend. This is really– Spencer, this is perfect, and it’s because of you. Us.“ Spencer’s overlooked and under appreciated everywhere he goes. Just once, you want him to feel seen for the gem he is. “I really,” —your breath leaves you like it’s been yanked from your chest— “love you.” 
Spencer brings your hand to his chest. “You love me?” he asks, kissing your fingers. 
You dip your chin to your chest. “Yeah.” 
“I love you.“ What an odd emphasis, and somehow the right one. 
You nod. That’s good. It’s good to be loved. You’d known he loved you, of course, but it’s good to have it said aloud. 
“You aren’t surprised?” he asks. “But, why were you worried?” 
Hard to explain. You give in to temptation, cradling the cold stretch of his cheek to rub a thumb over his bottom lip. Your lip balm has left it soft. “I told you, I didn’t think I’d say it right.” 
“You don’t usually say anything wrong.” 
Spencer wraps his arm around you and tugs you in for a hug. You stumble back at the force of him and he sways you from one side to the other, keeping you up with him, frosting grass crunching under your shoes. The night is quiet here, coloured only by the shush of the wind and the stirring leaves of the woodlands. Spencer’s breath is by far the loudest sound, a huffing, happy thing that betrays his excitement. “I love you,” he says on a laugh. “It was nice to see you struggling to talk, for once, but you don’t need to be nervous with me. I love you.” Two admissions at once. You find yourself renewed.
“It was a one time thing, I assure you.” 
“Consider me assured,” he says, ferrying your face up for a warm kiss. 
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srslyblvck · 6 months ago
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in my arms, five hargreeves
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pairing: five hargreeves x fem!reader
synopsis: In the chaos, you break down, and Five comforts you, giving you new hope.
genre: angst, hurt-comfort, fluff
warnings: mental breakdown
author's note: this is to cope with the ending of tua s4 cuz idt i will be recovering from that anytime soon lmao
word count: 0.5k
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ THE WORLD WAS ENDING. Again.
You had lost count of how many apocalypses you and the rest of the Umbrella Academy had thwarted. Each one had left you more exhausted, more broken than the last. The constant fighting, the never-ending chaos, and the relentless pressure to save the world were taking their toll. There was no time to rest, no time to heal. Just fight, survive, and then do it all over again.
But this time, it was different. You could feel it in your bones. The hopelessness, the crushing weight of responsibility—it was all too much. You had always prided yourself on being strong, on never showing weakness. But now, standing in the ruins of yet another battle, you felt yourself breaking.
The others were scattered, each dealing with their own demons. But you couldn't keep going. Not like this. You sank to the ground, tears streaming down your face as the overwhelming sense of despair consumed you. You had tried so hard, fought so long, but it never seemed to be enough.
You didn't hear Five approach. He had always been the enigma, the one who seemed to have everything under control. You and he had clashed countless times, your arguments as fierce as the battles you fought. But now, as he knelt beside you, all the animosity seemed to fade away.
"Hey," he said softly, his voice lacking its usual edge. "What's going on?"
You couldn't bring yourself to look at him. "I can't do it anymore," you whispered, your voice breaking. "I can't keep saving the world. It's too much. I'm tired, Five. I'm so tired."
He was silent for a moment, then moved closer, wrapping his arms around you in an embrace that was surprisingly gentle. You stiffened at first, not used to this side of him, but then you let yourself relax into his arms. You buried your face in his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably.
"I know," he murmured, his hand rubbing your back in soothing circles. "I know it's hard. But you don't have to carry this burden alone."
You shook your head, the words spilling out between sobs. "I don't want to let everyone down. But I'm losing hope, Five. Everything is in chaos, and I can't… I can't keep pretending I'm okay."
Five tightened his grip on you, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "You're not letting anyone down. You're human. You're allowed to feel this way. We've been through hell, and it's okay to break sometimes."
You clung to him, his words offering a glimmer of comfort amidst the darkness. For so long, you had believed that showing weakness was a sign of failure. But now, in Five's arms, you realized that maybe it was okay to let someone else in, to let them help carry the weight.
The chaos around you seemed to fade as you cried, Five's presence grounding you in a way you hadn't thought possible. He held you tightly, his hand gently stroking your hair. It was a side of him you had never seen before, and it made you feel a strange sense of comfort amidst the pain.
You weren't sure how long you stayed like that, wrapped in each other's embrace, but for the first time in a long time, you felt a glimmer of hope. Not for the past, but for the future. Because as long as you had Five by your side, you knew you could face whatever came next.
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