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08melancholie · 6 months ago

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Coated. — Micah Bell/Reader

tags: Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Denial of Feelings, Chapter 2: Horseshoe Overlook (Red Dead Redemption 2), Location: Valentine (Red Dead Redemption), Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Soft Micah Bell, Pining, Pining Reader, reader is lowkey a bit of a freak, Female Honorifics and Terms, a bit ooc but you can't blame me i just want him so bad, Obsession, Obsessive Behaviour, Unresolved Sexual Tension

summary: It felt unreal; the smell of musk, gunpowder and smoke, the leather fabric dragging over your undershirt, the way it hung over your body, threatening to slip off with every movement from the size difference. A storm always ruined your plans, usually. Though, you were finally glad for the change of weather, seeing how much it benefitted you tonight.

a/n: micah bell fluff im sorry guys cant help myself lawd....... i want him to give me a bear hug and tell me itll be ok

Not proofread !!!!

words: 3,288 | AO3 LINK

Valentine always smelled the same, and it would instantly attack your nostrils when you'd exit the almost run-down saloon after a night out. Today, a fraction of the gang had one of the more successful jobs, and decided to treat themselves to a drink out in the nearby town instead of in camp, like they would usually. You were part of the fraction; having accompanied them on quite a few jobs as of recently.

It was a high-risk robbery, and it went so much smoother than any of the men you did the job with expected it to. So, it was obvious drinks would be needed. Maybe getting yourself drunk is exactly what you needed; whether or whether not you did, you were going to do it. And get drunk you—somewhat—did. You were a bit cheap, so you stopped yourself at tipsy with four shots of whiskey and a few rounds of beers that Arthur generously paid for everyone. Most people actually tapped out before you; surprisingly. Your guess was that they were simply too tired. By the end of the night, the only members left in the saloon out of your little group were Arthur, Dutch, Micah and yourself. You tapped out at your limit—more-so your wallets limit—and decided you'd also head out, saying so to the men deciding to keep on drinking. They told you to have a good night, and you returned the words before walking out.

And so, here you were, on the porch stairs a few feet before the saloon door, a cigarette held in your hand while you waited for the storm to die down a bit. The air was undeniably hot; seeing as the storm was happening late-July, which was odd. Your undershirt wasn't providing much warmth, and you hoped that the cigarette would do the job for you instead—to no avail.

You took shaky drags of your cigarette and blew the smoke out before yourself, hugging your body with your free hand. Seriously; why the hell was there a storm right now? At this time of year? It puzzled you, that much was sure. You just hoped it'd settle, even if by a bit, before you mounted up and left for camp.

The saloon doors creak, the old wood far past being an easy oil-it-up fix by now, and the owners too stingy and lazy to replace them. Spurs clank against the boots of the owner, that stops next to you.

"Hell you doin' out here, still?" Micah Bell. He had a very distinct voice; thick accent that muffled some of his words, just barely coherent when he spoke to you. A small drawl to it, like he was dragging the words out with him when he spoke them.

You explain your unfortunate situation—the coldness and wetness providing no sustainable condition to go riding right now—before you toss your cigarette into the muddy surface at the bottom of the stairs. He seems confused by your words, though. "So you'll shoot up half a town but is scared of a lil' water an' cold?" He teases you—like he does, every day. Everyone, at that. He always seeks his victim-of-the-day out easily, and that has been you today. What an honor.

You replied with a small scoff, shooing him off with your hand. "Oh, don't be like that girl," He lowered himself to a crouching position, now almost on level with you. "gotta let me tease you sometimes." His breath told you that he's had much more to drink than yourself, reeking of liquor and matching the usual scent of the saloon. But, that smelled seemed to match him.

"Quite a storm, yeah..." He watched the rain splash down onto the dirt road ahead, his forearms on his bent knees. "You ain't dressed for 'ts hellish weather either, huh?"

He's damn right; you're still shivering and hugging yourself for warmth, the cigarette previously in your hand providing barely any warming to your body.

But here's something you need to know; drunk Micah and sober Micah are two separate people.

He hummed in thought for a moment before clicking his tongue and standing back up, looking down at you. "Get up." You gazed up at him, creasing your eyebrows in confusion. You waited for some sort of explanation, unmoving—until he repeated himself, and you knew he wouldn't say it a third time. You stand up reluctantly, turning to face him and waiting for whatever he had in mind. The next action is one only of drunk Micah Bell; starting to unbutton his coat in front of you, every button revealing more of his red undershirt. He shrugged it off his body and took a step forward, draping it around you. At first, you really just assumed he was messing with you, trying to provoke a reaction before snatching the article of clothing right back. But no, he slipped it around you and took a step back, taking a moment to look at you. "It's a bit big.. but it'll help 'ya get home without'a sickness of some sorts."

You were dumbfounded. You knew Micah was much different when he's had some to drink—but this? This felt like the line was being blurred.

"Get home safe, and give it back when I'm in camp again, darlin'." He looked out at the road before turning back for the saloon, disappearing into the building with another obnoxious creak of the doors, leaving you silent and still in your spot outside.

Micah Bell gave you his coat.

Micah Bell told you to get home safe.

Micah Bell used a pet name on you.

Darling. Darling; he's never done this before, none of this, matter of a fact. Hell, he barely spoke to you, only ever interacting for job and mission-related purposes, or simple and brief small-talk. So, yes—this was goddamn shocking.

Your little trance was broken up by a brief thunderclap, lighting up the sky for barely half a second. You blinked a few times—clearly still processing whatever just happened—before you looked down. The leather coat hung very big on you, the sleeves hid your hands fully and it almost dragged on the floor. He wore it often, so it wasn't a surprise that the scent he usually carried plastered itself onto the jacket; gunpower, proof of many shootouts where he walked out victorious; smoke, the consequence of his bad smoking habits; musk, his usual scent that, honestly, you always connected to him. You liked the smell. Your body definitely appreciated the gesture, as it's stopped the goosebumps climbing up your arms and subsided the shaking of your body. You seemed to just accept the situation, wrapping the coat around yourself with one hand and keeping your other over the hat on your head, making a quick sprint to your horse. You mount up and urge it to start trotting towards camp, holding onto the reins with the hand previously on your hat.

Your steed definitely didn't appreciate the weather, much like yourself. She whinnied a lot, her own form of complaint. You promised her many treats as apology for putting her through the storm—despite you not being a weather forecaster, so really, how could you have known? Well, she won't care. If she could speak, you know you'd never hear the end of it. You just want to get home, as much as she does at that, and encourage her to keep riding. You've subconsciously brought your chin down to your chest inside of the coat, instantly getting yourself a whiff of that scent you felt earlier while still at the saloon. It's a fairly nice smell, you'll have to admit so. Your nose is right on the rim of the collar, and you can smell everything that you previously described.

Despite the acceptance of the current circumstances you've gotten yourself into, your mind is foggy—filled with unkempt, messy blonde hair; greyish-blue eyes and uniquely white eyelashes that make him stand out more than any camp member; a messy attractiveness linked to him. Boldness, secrecy, cockiness, vulgarity, degeneracy—very Micah Bell. Now, why is it that you're thinking so hard? Is it the coat—are you still stuck on the fact he would do such a thing? It shouldn't matter this hard; but it does. Nothings ever mattered more to you than figuring Micah Bell out.

He's truly a character, and you've caught yourself voluntarily wanting to talk to him, do jobs with him—all things that had the other girls in camp telling you to back off and not start with him. But it was never that simple, no. You felt obligated to seek him out, take a deeper look inside. You needed to know what his deal was, why he was the way he was.

Despite many protests, your horse gets you back to camp in a matter of minutes—ones that felt like hours to you, when thinking of the outlaw; whose scent is wrapped around yourself, his imprint all over your undershirt and on your body. That goddamn scent, it's doing things to you.

You hitch your horse just outside of camp, being extremely quiet while also quick to get out of the rain pelting down, just as hard as before. The last thing you both needed was someone seeing you wearing his coat—God knows what these people'll assume about it. You make a b-line for your tent, closing the rest of the camp and world out as you tie your flaps shut, the tent lit up by only a small oil lantern above your bedroll. Your hair is soaked, dripping to the ground and coat as the small water droplets race down the leather material. You find yourself subconsciously walking to a mirror, backing up and looking at yourself, in his coat. Your eyes trace your own form, intently. After a moment, you break yourself out of your space-out, shrugging the coat off and gently draping it onto a chair in your tent, to dry off. In the meantime, you change out of your own outfit, really not looking forward to getting any sicker than you probably are.

The water took it's time fully evaporating out of the coat, leaving a few small cracks in it and brittle slightly; more than before already. You felt mildly guilty—but he gave it to you, clearly already aware of what water will do to the fine material, so he shouldn't be upset. You hope. You're sat on your bedroll, watching the last few drops of rain fall off of the rim of the jacket. All you've been thinking about has been goddamn Micah—almost to the point of getting tired of it. And, just where was this coming from? You were lost. Maybe it was the tipsiness catching up to you—to be truthful, you hadn't had a true drink in weeks, so it might just be a... odd, new side effect. That's the excuse you'll go with, it seems.

Well, you assumed only alcohol consumption would make you want—no, need the coat on you again. It felt like it was beckoning you closer; luring you to itself like a siren does with her hypnotic voice, or as the fantasy books you see Jack read say. And, damn it, was it working on you.

You slowly got up, leaving your bedroll and strolling over to the chair, looking down at the piece of clothing. Your hands carefully pick the jacket up, running your fingers up and down the material, feeling every story-telling crease and cut, sometimes even finding little bullet wounds he never got sewn back up. Maybe he liked it that way. Then, one arm slips into the first sleeve—then the other, and you're wrapped around the coat again; around the scent; around Micah.

You look down at yourself, inspecting how the coat fits you, as if you haven't already done that enough times. And then, the goddamn scent again—you feel it creep around you, going straight for your nose. And damn you and your alcohol consumption, because you find yourself grasping the collar on both sides, and lifting them to your face. A delicious whiff of the smell, so memorable; so sweet; so unique; so Micah.

Jesus, what the hell are you doing?

You drop the collar from your hands and scrunch your nose up—at your own choice of action. Oh, but it only gets worse for you, as it always seems to. You go to take the coat off, ready to simply walk to his tent and toss it onto his bedroll, finally be done with all this. Yet, you hesitate. Your body protests, instantly showing it's against the idea when your hands freeze up, unable to slip the damned leather off of your bare shoulders. You hear yourself huff, getting frustrated. What was going on—why were you acting so goddamn weird?

Yet, you find yourself so easily accepting this, just how you accepted the coat to be wrapped around you by Micah, how you accepted the impulse of smelling it, and now the action of not taking away the article of clothing that's all over your body. You seem way too fine with all of this.

More-so with your body walking itself back to your bedroll and laying itself down—wrapping the coat around it tightly and simply basking in the aroma that's surrounding the leather over itself.

Your nose is pressed to the collar, acting almost as a weighted blanket on your frame. God, you feel like you're being lulled into your slumber. The smell, the feel, the weight of the coat—everything is like a goddamn drug to you. You're high off of it all; off of him.

Your eyes flutter closed, your breathing slows down, your arms tighten the coat around you.

Alcohol always made you a bit more sleepy than you'd have liked it to—so now, combine that with the heavenly feeling the simple item of clothing is giving you; you've never felt yourself fall asleep faster. You feel contentment, security, infatuation. And you decide that it's a welcomed feeling.

You never understood just how he functioned so well, so early into the day; especially knowing he was a heavy insomniac most nights. He never slept and always was and about by early morning, somehow. All you remember is waking up in his coat.

You decided to give it back early, be done with it for good. After your little display yesterday, you wanted nothing more to do with the coat. You knew he was awake, mostly by the one open canvas flap of his tent, a welcoming gesture, almost. Would be if we were talking about anyone but Micah.

You walked yourself over with the coat draped over your arm—not yourself, for once. You approached the small abode of the outlaw, kicking your boot against the canvas to announce your arrival. He grumbled something, only part you understood being a small "yeah, come in", and so you did. You hadn't yet been in his tent, for some reason. Guess it never interested you until yesterday; when you realized many things about yourself whilst wrapped around the leather material and distinctive aroma of Micah. Get it over with, you hummed, stepping inside.

For a man like Micah—and what you knew about him—his tent was pretty clean, surprisingly. He was sat on his bedroll, slowly rising as he noticed it was you coming to his tent. "Mm, mornin'." He drawled, walking up to you. "Finally here to return this, huh.." He quipped, looking down at you with one hand on his hip, the other extended for the coat. "thought you'd just keep it." He added quietly.

You were confused by the statement, asking him why you would just keep it. His answer had goosebumps reappearing all over your body, this time not from the cold, though. "After your little display; sleeping with my coat on, I thought you'd have just kept it alllll for yourself." Your blood would have run cold; if it didn't all flow right into your cheeks. Oh, God. Oh. God.

You knew you were turning red, looking like a beet, fresh out of the ground, plausibly. You couldn't look at him, not after that. You swore that your tent was tied oh-so-tightly, but it seems you were still sloppy with how you tied those damn flaps together. "Oh, don't be embarrassed," He leaned down closer, his hands on his knees as he got down to your level, not too fond of speaking down at you. "just ask me next time you want a little.. whiff." He hummed, taking the coat out of your hands and slipping it onto himself—with you watching like the little goddamn pervert you seem to be making yourself out to be.

You felt something stir in your stomach—why in the holy hell was he looking at you like that? That goddamn smirk; no anger about your weird display; nothing. And damn him for staying leaned down so close; probably able to see the sweat forming on your forehead. You were wishing for the earth to swallow you whole now.

His hand found your shoulder, squeezing it to get you out of your little trance again. "Go on about your day, girl;" His breath ticked the side of your neck, hitting a part of your ear as well. His voice was low, and the tone he was using with you as of right now? Your knees felt horribly weak. "but I might just have to keep my eye on 'ya, hm?" Oh, sweet Jesus.

Maybe it really was time to accept this—and fire back.

You blinked a few times, your eyes finding his beautiful blues. A small, murmured "thank you" left your lips; lips that then pecked his jawline and scruffy little beard. And, unable to control yourself, you did take in the smell of him again; the raw, unfiltered smell. Oh, it was the best thing you'll have ever gotten a whiff of. He was basking in cheap cologne—surprisingly—and gunpowder, his breath lingering about as he exhaled a noise of surprise breathlessly, his breath still soaked in the alcohol and liquor he had downed at the saloon. You had to brace yourself before you pulled away, unsure how he'd react—this was Micah Bell, after all.

You saw yourself in him, at that moment; shocked and red as a beet, trying to physically comprehend your move on him. Oh, if only boldness wasn't his biggest weakness. His hand squeezed your shoulder, gripping at it. Your body froze when he began to pull; drag you closer to him.

You couldn't stay in there for that—not until you sorted yourself out. And so, you detested and moved away, walking back and out of the tent, red and embarrassed—and feeling like a dog in heat, not to forget.

Micah was.. dumbfounded. Like yourself, when he offered his coat up. He managed to shut his mouth, but still, his eyes couldn't help lingering on the spot you once stood at, in his grip and kissing his jaw. When he finally broke himself out of the moment, he buttoned the long coat up to hide the obvious tightening in his pants, slipping his hands into his pockets. Though, the left pocket had an unusual item inside itself. Micah fished out a little box; ammo. You had left him a box of ammunition, 'for his troubles'; as the small note you scribbled onto said.

Damn you—and him for getting involved, because he knows he's not making it out of this unscathed.

Kudos on AO3 always appreciated! Thank you for reading and indulging in my insanity with me :)

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arthousephil · 7 months ago

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trailer thoughts/general predictions

2009 - time travel as a theatrical bit, kind of tatinof esque with the microwave thing. Theyll be acting it out like woah whats happening bwoosh and then a little like dial going back through the years. also didnt they mention bill and ted recently?? itll be like those vibes

ppl have already said this but the trailer solidifies to me that it might be some kind of choose ur own adventure with the "you want to influence me?". Like that must be some kind of audience deceides thing the dollhouse also makes me think about this, like with all the screens its about audience perception + dynamics/control between them, the audience and wider public. the idea of them as characters or dolls that ppl play with project ideas onto. terrible influence but its not just them influencing us its us influencing them, feedback loop etc

but circling back a bit could be like exploring the different ways things couldve gone? idea of multiple universes? maybe a conclusion we are in a "good timeline" reconciling with the past but being greatfull for where we're at

maybe the plot is they have to go back in time to fix something/do something different but realize its already perfect in its own way?? idk I think there will be some kind of "plot" for the campiness and theatricality of it all, but it also could be them looking back through the eyes of the audience kind of thing?

ooo or its a wonderfull life where its like u see what the world would be like without you from like a ghost perspective and realize your positive impact. have yall seen that movie? i dont think thatll actually be it but its just cute even hahah

I also kind of think there will be like a dan lawyer phil linguistics/film industry(?), what wouldve happened if we didnt meet how we did segment, thatd be cool. if they kind of weaved in an aspect of what dan is not ok was supposed to be. that way he could use some of that hard work he put in. and it would make sense if the show was about like time travel and alternate universes.

#dan and phil #dnp #phan #tit tour #dan and phil's excellent adventure...#i need to draw them in the bill and ted outfits now.. which do we think is which?

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thebestofoneshots · 1 year ago

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Hello darling x

Just wondering if youd be open to the idea of writing a Jily x reader series after Guilded Constellations with reader as a half-breed?? (but its public knowledge instead of hidden like GC reader) Maybe a veela or vampire. I know itll still be a while until GC finishes and you should take a break afterwards but id love to read your take on this grouping as well. Youve done Wolfstar so well, and Wednesdays cant go fast enough to give me my fix (i live in Australia so ch are released late at night mostly)

YESSSS!

I mean, after GC I already have another Marauders series planned out, It's called Point of Know Return, I talked a little bit about it on this ask. But I would love to do a Jilly x reader fic. Maybe not a full-fleshed series, but something slightly smaller with a bit more casual entries.

I'd love to explore especially the hald-bread aspect of reader being public, since I'm sure there would be a lot of nasty bullying thrown in there but she would probably fight back, even more if it's about trying to bring Lily down, like she really would be her Dark Knight.

Also both Veela and Vampire sound fun, Veela bc I love mermaids and Vampire because let's be honest, fangs are hot af. Imagine her having slightly sharper fangs that she's self-conscious about, accidentally drawing bIood when kissing someone? I mean I'm so, so down!

Clearly, I like the idea, of course, there are a lot of details I'd have to flesh out and analyse, but I'd try to map the full plan of the story ready so I don't end up overwriting (as much) as I ended up doing it with GC, but this one seems fun, perhaps, if I had enough time, I could work on it when GC is about to end or while working on POKR.

Would you guys be interested in this one? What else would you like to see happen?

Read Gilded Constellations

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retrotrait · 11 months ago

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wait last anon got my attention and ive also been wanting to send you a long ass ask dissecting simon's behavior lol~ also cw this talks about drug abuse!

I don't want to be a simon shooter, but I feel like he deserves empathy considering he abuses substances and has trauma from his childhood. Not to excuse his behavior at all. I feel for anani and simon because i was in a relationship with someone who abused substances (xanax) this was in my senior yr of high school & it sucked seeing someone you care about constantly high of their ass vs. the person you met. The drugs affect not only the person, but the people around them and its awful.

There is such a stigma towards people who abuse substances (I personally dont like to use the word addict thats just me tho!!) I feel like people tend to think ppl who abuse drugs act out on purpose and want to purposely hurt their loved ones, when that isnt the case.

Anani was without a doubt, simon's diamond in the rough. It does make me feel a certain was that his mother called her to BASICALLY, fix her son. Girl.............that is your child, Im pretty sure his mother asked her to "get him help" because she couldnt face the music, she couldnt see history repeat itself, but you cannot send someone over that he hurt so many times to fix things.

I believe Anani continuously stayed by his side because she thinks itll be different everytime. She could fix him, its possible in her eyes because of their bond, but that is not true at all. He needs to realize for himself that he needs help. If he cares about the people he loves he would go and get help. Anani is def a push over in this case (im sorry my queen PLS STAND UP I KNO U LOVE HIM BUT PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS STAND UP!!)

I dont think its possible for them to have a platonic friendship after everything, but I do believe Simon needs a good support system around him and MAYBE anani could be apart of that support system...minus the physical bc from what it seems, simon uses Anani like temporary medicine to ease his pain & it hurts to see Anani care and love him, but get hurt in the end :c

I love what you're doing with this story & I am so excited for what is yet to come. <3

You couldn't be righter and the number one reason I created an OC with substance abuse problems is because I know how one sided it can be for people to misjudge them, even the people who love them. It's not as easy as quit and get better and I wanted that to reflect who Simon is.

Anani became that drug replacement for him as well and even loving someone to that extent can be unhealthy because without them you don't know who you are (also a reason why he left in the first time around) the town, his parents, even Anani, he needed to separate himself from becoming the person his brother was but unfortunately, it's not easy when you're in that party/rockstar lifestyle. He's stuck be

To Anani, he also became like a drug, someone who filled that musical emptiness that her mom's passing left. Like you said, she wants to fix him, it's in her nature and him knowing that makes walking away a little bit easier to understand, however wrong it was to do it in that situation. It's very on brand for him the "not wanting to hurt someone while hurting them."

I think their relationship thrives on that push and pull, that "I hate you but I love you." I just don't know if it would work if they were ever just good to each other without the toxic-ness.

<333 ILY and thank you for sending this amazing dissection of these characters.

#ask #Anani*#Simon*#tw substance abuse

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asssdirector · 1 year ago

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actually sickening to me how stede was clearly shaken up (and a little bit turned on but thats not for now) by killing ned, but hes still caught up in his fantasy of being a suave, cool-guy pirate captain that he starts to panic even further. he grabs onto ed because he wants to bury how unmoored he's feeling and how he's afraid that he's made a huge mistake.

whats interesting to me is that stede seems to be at his healthiest and most balanced at the very end of s1. he is the most grounded version of himself and he's ready to make things up properly and move forward as a unit, irregardless of whatever fantasies he used to have.

but in the space in between, after meeting the crew again and seeing what he did to ed, he starts to second guess himself and ends up going way too far and basically trying to be a different person. he takes that little bit of confidence and overstretches it into the idea of a person that ed doesn't actually want. who ed wants is stede, the stede who calls him his friend for the first time and has a secret wardrobe of fancy clothes and just.. a guy who is gentle and nice to him and doesn't define him by blackbeard or what blackbeard has done. and of course stede doesn't know that. he sees the old version of himself as inadequate, because the old version of himself broke ed's heart and wasn't actually, like, a good captain.

there is very clear symbolism of this overreach when he succeeds in getting ned's crew to turn on him- everyone seems satisfied, and the mood is very light. but stede can't let go of ned's humiliation and cruelty and he takes it one step too far. there is a noticable stopping point between the situation being resolved and ned's death. ed starts to get visibly uncomfortable and unhappy because all of the sudden stede is acting like a real pirate- exactly what ed was trying to escape. there is no humor or unique stede-ness about what happens. its all about who stede thinks he needs to be. also, once it actually happens, ed thinks he'll know what to do- after all, he was in that position too, once. so he expects to comfort stede, but instead, stede surprises him and they have sex.

it happens for a lot of reasons, but largely because they're very much attracted to each other and a) ed doesn't know exactly what he wants or who he wants to be yet enough to reaffirm and ask stede to take it slow and b) stede thinks that maybe, if he does this, itll fix everything, because he still has the idea that he needs to be more masculine and assertive to be worth something as a person and that being less emotional is how he can achieve that.

even if its painful it does feel like one very natural progression that the characters could take. they have yet to address stede's feelings of inadequacy and the fear that ed is better off without him, and in the leaving it for too long without proper communication, it manifests into this whole mess. sickening!!!! but super interesting!

#boy this is a ranttt #ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers

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battiegutz · 2 years ago

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I talk on here a lot hopefully I’m not weirding you out.

I’ve also rewrote parts of 2012 Tmnt. And I have questions!

So hold up lemme get my list.

First of!

Leo? Trans fem? If so, during what arc would she come out? I have my own ideas but I wanna know yours!

Ships?? (Bats eye lashes)

Ok ok next

Any new designs? Cause I have some for the krang and the big krang robot

Mmm what else… OOo!

Redesigns?

Any other plot points and stuff your adding on too?

I really really like hearing ideas about rewriting parts of 2012 .

Anyway hopefully I’m not weird or annoying! Please tell me if I should calm down on the asking (trust me I would not be offended)

-🪲

FUCK !! YESSSS I LOVE BEIN ASKED QUESTIONS DW IT HELPS ME ACTUALLY BRAINSTORM<3<3

yesss transfem leo :3 idk when she comes out but she doesnt rlly get time to think abt her gender until th farmhouse arc but that gets interrupted when they go back to reverse th invasion (i most recently watched th ep where bebop nd rocksteady got mutated so i only have like. a vague idea of what happens next lol) but i think maybe? it would be before the space arc?? god i need 2 keep watchin💀 YES. SHIPS. GOD OK SO. im a multishipper if its not obvious but fr this particular au/rewrite, im eventually gonna have lesbian aprilnardo bc idk they have a rlly good dynamic i think. side not raph nd april are absolutely besties they love talkin shit. there will also be timatello bc im giving tim an actual arc whattttt🤯🤯🤯🤯 anyway yea LOL timatello<3 altho itll just be pining nd they never get 2gether sadly :( srry th angst won nd someone maybe got a little bit shot😔 ill try to throw some jonatello crumbs in aswell maybe, idk torn between them nd rasey fr why does casey have so much game🤨 oh my god yes i want to ideally redesign all the characters tho idk if ill get around 2 EVERYONE but man im a fruit ofc im changin up these designs. i gave april braces nd freckles bc i think it suits her :3 i also wanna make th kraang in general more like. horrifying? probably not the early series kraang, but w aprils kraang dna in particulat i wanna delve deeper into horror teehee. also wanna make karai more well. shes a teenager bruh i think she shuld be allowed to have her emo era lol. im tryna wait until i get thru like majority of th show to mess w th plot points but some ideas i have involve showing more of the farmhouse arc, and considering a certain. lost limb😶(srry leo lol) itll take a bit longer fr them to get back 2 nyc. also jus gonna try nd fix th weird way 2012 did romance subplots?? why does leo hav a crush on her sister🤢 yea no instead she meets karai in civilian clothes nd they bond nd karai becomes like an older sister to her but then she has to betray leo fr shredder :( not super developed obvs but i think i jus wanted karai to wear trap pants and smoke weed lol. april also shuts down donnie rlly early bc shes a lesbian so shes like. bruh. also my recent art post idk what actually happens in mutant apocalypse but i was thinkin abt how interestin it wuld be if leo was captured by the kraang and used as an experiment bc of her unique mutations :3

#silver spills #asks #tmnt 2012 rewrite #i need 2 name it so i can keep better track grahhh #dw i love th excuse 2 infodump teehee

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myloveforhergoeson · 11 months ago

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wait actually thinking more about that follower gap post, what is the tasw universe btr fandom's feelings towards roxy? i guess we see a bit of it in the tour letters chapter, and hopefully more in big time contest? are they public at this point? is she, as a girl their age on the team, being shipped with any other member?

hi!! the answer to this is simultaneously simple and complicated. as usual i have a long answer for you!

in short: no, btr fandom doesn’t know more than she’s their touring guitarist and if they did some research they’d find her listed as the writer on many of their songs. james and roxy aren’t public and there’s a few reasons why! as far as the fandom is aware, she just works with the band. after carlos told her he loved her at that one show tho some people might think they’re cute together but more on that later

in long: ah! i’ve already tried to incorporate this in so many ways and i have not found a way i like quite yet. i’ve set many little things up - you are so right about the letters chapter! rox makes a comment about getting some boos when carlos kisses her because we all know what fandom typically does to women who date guys in boybands 😭 in roxy’s birthday chapter, she and james get stopped in santa monica and people start taking pictures of him and he throws his coat over her head and pulls her away from the pier because of some “media training” he said he got from gustavo. jo mentions the same thing happening to her while she was out with kendall before the pair were forcibly made public by her publicist (which is also briefly mentioned; skipped that ep bc i didn’t like the sneaker storyline sorry!) so there’s little crumbs im attempting to put in here and there i just can’t decide what to do with them. i thought about adding another section onto the minnesota chapter where roxy convinces her old boss to let her have her show again for a night where she can “interview” (read: fuck around with her boyfriend in the radio studio for four hours) james and he’d forget to turn his mic off before calling her babe or something and accidentally make their relationship public but 1) the chapter was already way too long and 2) like what do i do then. write an even longer chapter the next time around to fix what i wrote previously? i do not have the same time i used to when i started writing this to just get down like 20 pages a night LMAO. i loveeeee writing don’t get me wrong but it’s just hard for me currently and low interaction on original portions of the story are not very motivating. (but i’m not writing for the engagement don’t worry! it’s just a bonus!!!)

so yeah like it’s THERE it’s just not there.

besides. i want james and roxy to have a conversation about it too but i think he’s probably tweaking out about it bc of gustavo’s “training” and she would love to be public i just don’t think she understands what being in the spotlight really means and she doesn’t want to come off as too pushy because he hasn’t brought it up. neither of them really know what to expect from a public relationship with a public figure. but i mean. they’re out to their friends and stuff obviously! so maybe that might come back to bite them in the butt later idk. i have literally so many thoughts about this i promise itll be in there at some point i just don’t know when :)

i imagine at this point in time the band members each have like the lower end of a 60-100k follower count? i really have no basis for this though. i’ll have to give it some more thought!

tysm for your question eeee!! love seeing things tagged rames on my dash :) <3

#thats all she wrote fic #ash talks tasw #:)))!!!

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the-kr8tor · 1 year ago

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OOPS.

Its fine even if your angst is like a whole new level of angst ive ever read and seem ever. Makes it a whole nee genre. I deadass felt fae hobie in my heart and soul when reading TF i felt it in my whole entire body not just my gut. Your angst just makes a full new genre of it man. And i love angst (it makes me cry though which ive cried to much today but still…) anyways maybe i shouldnt have jumped to conclusions snd be a little silly and give you ideas for cowboy hobie angst. No now im thinking about how hobie would possibly get trapped with his horse and reader and get his horse to take reader somewhere safe. And the horse neighs not wanting to leave him but the situation is dire and hobie doesnt want either of them hurt, now im just cause pain on myself imagine readers reaction of the horse taking reader away from hobie while hobie just sacrifices himself and has to fight people and make sure they dont harm reader or the horse. Imagine hobie being barely alive but somehow having made it to resders ranch bloodied and on the verge of being unconscious. Imagine reader having to get hobies horse to pick him up and bring him to the back as she gets supplies and shit needed and so reader tries their best to fix most of the damage that was done to where itll keep him alive until they can bring hobie to town and get him an actual doctor to help.

Ooouch how much itd sting if it was to late for hobie and he passed away in readers arm after waking up for a bit. He pets his horse one last time and gives reader a kiss before his lips go cold against readers.

Im gonan try and think positive though…

Bro 😭😭😭 your angst also hurts!! I need to lie down for a sec 😭

So sorry for making you cry, lovely ❤️ I hope everything gets better for you bc you deserve the world 💕 I appreciate you, you're not alone and remember i love ya!!! (⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

#ask answered #chatting with lovelies #hobie thoughts #cowboy! hobie #🫶🫶🫶#you are loved 💖#pls take care 😘

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goodnightwindy · 2 years ago

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windy's tips for dealing with period cramps

DRINK WATER !!!!! the less hydrated u are the more painful itll be. trust me. you can even put lemon in it or drink mix or something idc just drink water. maybe not ice water tho bc its harder for the body to absorb

try to eat !! even if it's just something small like some saltines. stomach cramps in general are a thousand times worse on an empty stomach

if youre laying in bed , try to move around a little bit. even just turning over to the other side of the bed can help !

get something to distract yourself. can be talking to a friend , listening to music , anything. doesn't matter.

if you're not in too much pain , try and take a nap. sleeping can fix so many of your problems , at least temporarily which is better than nothing

if heat helps , use a hot water bottle on your stomach / abdomen area. or take a warm bath.

obviously painkillers are also smart but i didn't include them yet because i don't like taking pills so i usually don't.

also hot drinks are fantastic for dealing with cramps !!! the heat really does help to ease up the muscles inside your body

feel free to reblog and add on if you have any :]

#ok 2 rb

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talksofmyfamily · 2 years ago

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lately ive been wondering if i want to be an author at all.

it was always my dream, writing books, writing of my fantasies and ideas, that overflow my mind at all times. but sometimes i look at the cars my father - a distant man, every time we speak we argue and we scream and we cry and fight, he just doesn't listen, he just doesn't let you get a word in - repairs and works on, and i think of what it would be like to know what goes on inside them. how do they work? what happens in them? theyre structured. theyre pretty, and unique, and sometimes theyre also ugly. the old ones, thats what he repairs. not the new, electric cars, with their modern, ever-the-same sleek designs, he takes care of the hiccups that the old ones have. he doesn't do it professionally, actually, he cuts and sells firewood, but when someone has a problem with their motor, they go to him. and sometimes, i watch him work on them, from the window, where i sit and smoke almost every hour of day. he doesn't look angry when he does it. he just looks passive, and peaceful, unlike literally every other time i see him. he doesnt scare me anymore, not really, not after five years of hating him and loving him and being afraid and arguing and attempting to dodge his fists on the more difficult days, i just find myself ignoring his existence unless he speaks to me first. i hardly spare a thought to him. hes nothing to me. but his cars.... they fascinate me. id almost forgotten about them for a long time. we used to do little projects together, back when i was still younger, before the incident, before he changed and i changed too. built a cage for my hamster, and my sister's too. built a stable for my action figures i had back then, little horses id been collecting since i was three years old. fixed my bike. he helped me with everything. taught me to sew the many holes in my clothes shut. gave me my first beer, way too early, i hadn't even reached double digits yet. i used to love him. and then i hated him. and then he became nothing to me but a bother.

my neighbor is different. it'd be a very big stretch to say he's been more of a father to me than my own, we hardly talk to each other as well, after all, but when we do, its always memorable. he fixes cars as well. he's my father's best friend, ironically, but theyre nothing alike. my neighbor is a nice, if a bit grumpy and stingy man that smokes pipes rather than cigarettes, gives me beers (and weed) freely and has the most well-trained, sweet dog ive ever seen. shes adorable, and whenever we have to take care of her because he's in the hospital again, she sleeps in my bed rather than the makeshift blanket bundle my mother puts on the floor for her. he trained and raised her himself. yesterday, when we were smoking weed together from his fancy little pipe, he gave me some advice. he said (or at least, he said roughly this, as i am not sure i remember it correctly, and i am also attempting to translate it from german into english) that "when you really want to do something, and you do it, without letting yourself be influenced by others, itll work out. if it doesnt, the question is if thats really what you want."

i still dont know if i want to be an author, or if i want to learn something about cars, or be a graphic designer or something entirely different. but i have time. im still only in 9th grade, and i do want to continue school until im at least in 10th or 11th. maybe ill look into the basic inner workings of a car tonight. maybe ill write another long-awaited chapter to one of my fanfictions. maybe i wont be able to sleep and do both. who knows. i wish i did.

#vent

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vamossainz55 · 2 years ago

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Yeah, no doubt Charles gets his share of hate, in fact every driver does, more or less, I was just talking specifically about Carlos. I’d never fault Charles for what people do online, he’s not responsible for them. I do kinda wish ferrari would speak up and ask everyone to stop trying to create a rift between Charles and Carlos but that’s very unlikely to happen, in fact it might enrage people even more haha

It’s always, always the same type of people hating drivers, some of them even basically admit they find it fun to be mean which absolutely baffles me. To each their own I guess.

Carlos in his Mclaren era was a delight, that combination of his own decision to be more himself than he was before (like he said in some interview) and also being paired up with Lando who instantly connected with him worked really well. To me it seems like Carlos needs a much more lighthearted environment to thrive in it, and Ferrari are really far from that… like, being a Ferrari driver puts a certain label on you that you have to be more put together, since it’s a team with such history. Ferrari as a whole need to unclench, stop living off their past victories and truly move forward if they want to be the winning team again. Idk, that’s just how I see things, there’s too much focus on the past, on their legacy, and it’s hurting them more than helping

Anyway, the fact that Tifosi were totally behind Carlos from the moment the weekend started until the very end was really heartwarming ahhh I think the support from everyone was one of the factors why it all went so well for him because ngl, at times this year it seemed like he’d lost some confidence in himself. Hopefully I’m wrong or that it’s all resolved now if I’m not. If only the car was good enough to fight for wins 😭

I guess I’m in a rant mood as well haha, feel free to tell me to stop spamming you 🫶

waaah ! i hope you didnt take it any wrong way- didnt mean you specifically with the charles hate, its just something thats been a bit more conscious in my mind recently and i just wanted to let it out. but yeah, charles is the last person responsible of the hate ofc. i actually prefer ferrari saying nothing about it, i do think itll make matters worse and ultimately ferrari need to fix themselves first 😂.

but yes its usually the same type of people and sometimes its just so so embarrassing. like i get second hand embarrassment sometimes seeing some the things people post to hate on the driver, i just don’t understand how some of them can lack self awareness. ive also been blocked by some accounts on tumblr even though ive never said anything about their fav or interacted w them (infact i love their fav too) but maybe ita cause im a carlos account haha.

mclaren era was so so beautiful i miss it so dearly and i get saddened that he isnt there anymore but ultimately i do think ferrari was a good mood. even though it hurts and sucks ita good that carlos is outside of his comfort zone and that he needs to push his elbows out a little but i agree with all your points, ferrari does need to get off the highhorse theyre on (pun not intended 😂) and reflect as to why they arent performing and the type of environment they have. i do think theyre the team thats stuck in old ways, they need to innovate and think outside the box myb idk.

as for carlos this year and his confidence- i think last year really took a toll on him but hes much more confident in himself this year in terms of consistency. hes back to his old self and i think even though the car isnt performing as good hes still pushing the limits whilst being aware of when to stop. but if its the case where hes missing a bit of confidence still i really hope he finds it after monza. we all are really rooting for him. the car and where its at is a pity, but im hoping both charles and carlos just need this breather this season and in some miraculous way the car will catch up next year.

also do not apologize for the rant, i wrote a whole essay i think 😂. but im enjoying this so dont worry your little pretty head about it

#nik rambles #vamossainz55 answers #anon <3 #chismes con nik !

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helpimstuckaaano · 2 years ago

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had a bit of a panic today cus its sinking in very obviously that we r a map and that isnt gunna change. feel a bit mournful tbh if that makes sense? like i now have to come to terms with having this awful* secret for the rest of my life and there's nothing i can do to fix it.

and i bet itll get worse too cus we r currently still pretty young and our bf has a baby face & body (and is also a map lmao) but when we r older and our partners get older too like its gunna b more shit.

obvs we arent ever gunna commit a crime full stop but we def do prefer childish features and that just sucks and makes me wanna die a little ngl. im sure we can love our partner regardless of physical attraction and we do find some older features attractive just to a lesser extent but still.

im sure itll work out im just kinda scared even tho weve known this about ourselves for a couple years now i think i kinda just presumed it was us being edgy??? stupid ik hahaha its not exactly just an emo phase -_-

anyway just sad and this isnt exactly something we can tell our therapist haha ;-; maybe we can talk to our bf about it but even tho weve both seriously established this fact about ourselves we both still find talking about it rly scary and uncomfortable bc stigma ig. idk how real i can get with it bc im always scared hes gunna suddenly go woah woah thats too far / deep i didnt mean it quite that much. maybe he feels the same way idk. just not something anyone wants to talk about ig

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substanceuser971 · 2 years ago

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made the connection between my addictive tendencies and my attachment issues both stemming partly from a feeling of wanting to recreate initial happy memories. it feels like other people are able to move on with their lives easier than im able to. people seem to n=be able to move on from me as soon as i stop being interesting and novel to them, while im stuck wanting to keep replaying what we had when we started, and it plays out the same way with drugs, trying to recreate that same way i felt those first few times i got drunk or high. it feels like i keep trying to create a tiny little time loop that i can live in forever instead of accepting when things arent as good as they used to be. and one feeds into the other too, people have left me for struggling with substance dependence and i depend on booze and weed to cope with feeling abandoned. its a really vicious cycle

ive been doing pretty okay with staying sober lately, but its mostly because i cant afford to stock back up on weed and the only alcohol i have is beer which isnt kosher for passover. today my landlord and his friend came over to do some renovations and they shared a joint with me, and it felt great to finally get high again but i also feel like it sent my brain right back into the mindset of needing to get high daily and keep it in my system. another part of why i get intoxicated so much is because i get fucking horrifically bored and understimulated, and weed and booze are the easiest way to stave off the feeling, so lately ive been trying to put my energy into hobbies and find other ways to stay stimulated as replacement behaviors for using. its been effective and its been a great feeling to be more productive and have more mental capacity to do things i enjoy. but after smoking this afternoon, once i came down from the high, i felt more bored than i have in a good while. the experience makes me think that maybe pot in particular causes me to be dependent on it to fight off boredom, and the lack of boredom it temporarily provides me makes anything i do while sober feel more boring by comparison.

honestly, i dont have faith right now that ill be able to refrain from buying more weed as soon as my paycheck comes in. my finances really arent great, but i have a slight buffer from my upcoming tax return covering my rent for may, and its way too easy for me to just take a bus downtown and hit up one of the many many dispensaries we have here. i can try to put it off for as long as possible, but itll only take a quick moment of my self control faltering enough for me to end up on the bus and then ill come home with enough flower to last me at least a couple weeks. sunk cost fallacy, if ive already bought the bus pass ill feel guilty if i just change my mind and go right back home. maybe if that happens, i can try replacing a dispensary trip with a bit of wandering downtown, check out the shops i havent gotten to see yet and maybe buy myself a cheap trinket or two, or a little snack. i think that would be a good idea, and it would most likely be cheaper without making me feel like i wasted money on the bus pass. i might try to do that if i end up on my way to a dispensary. but really, i dont know if i have the self control to keep from restocking my stash even with that backup plan in place, because its just so fucking easy to get my hands on it as long as i have the money to pay for it, and its so tempting because it feels so good to get high that i end up disregarding the consequences until they hit me.

it feels better waking up in the morning when i fell asleep sober. in the past couple weeks, when ive barely gotten high or drunk, its been a lot less of a pain getting out of bed in the morning, and i always feel groggier on the mornings after using. its uncomfortable and i dont like how hard it is to wake up. on the other hand though, my insomnia has been a lot harder to control since ive had to cut back on weed. it was far from fixed even when i was getting high nightly, but it at least kept my brain fro buzzing so much that i couldnt relax. lately i keep staying awake for like 30 hours at a time even though i get delirious staying awake that long. even right now i just feel exhausted and i want to sleep, but i have too much going on in my brain thats demanding i stay awake and Do Things despite being too sleep deprived to actually do much of anything effectively. im pretty sure i have some kind of sleep disorder, because ive struggled with insomnia and fucked up sleep patterns for years, but i also kind of think cutting back on cannabis could be exacerbating it. the joint from earlier got left with me, and we all only took a couple hits, so ive still got like half a joint left and its tempting to smoke a little more. i think the main things stopping me are the fact that my body feels too exhausted to get out of bed, and the fear of rekindling my dependence on it only to have to go without weed for a few more days.

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