ribbitflings

[ribbitflings]

i get leg day better than any of those mfs on the roids trying to look cool in the gym

[ribbitflings]

one thing that just really kinda grinds my gears is when people think that god will "heal" their epilepsy forever and especially these shitty foundations and companies supposedly dedicated to "finding a cure" and "ending" epilepsy

stfu with that bullshit

all it's doing is leading people on with a thread of bullshit to make them hope that someday the founders' pockets will be lined enough to fund research, but even then there wont ever be a "cure" or an "end" and i hate how gullible people are to this shit

[ribbitflings]

SE for the third time in what a two week span?

NCSE twice ten days apart and thankfully made my partner not use my nose spray the second time bc i tried to sleep it off, and then just straight up CSE last night because why the fuck not

all this shit over M U S I C and its gettinf worse every time

[ribbitflings]

and may i add that my fucking narc mother had sent me a music video, after i had posted my infographic about a ridiculously niche form of epilepsy (to which she originally also responded with a fucking music video). i was trying to find tiny song snippets to show how bad the singer sounded and literally only 25 seconds of that shit total (i never opened my mothers message) and then later my partner scrollimg through Instagram reels that all had music, but with low volume, just kept that shit going.

how do i deliver the most personal and strongest "fuck you" to my mother that i am NC with

NCSE twice in less than two weeks and my threshold is so fucking low that ten seconds of certain music can trigger hours of seizures. things are looking good for my new xcopri 😍

[ribbitflings]

NCSE twice in less than two weeks and my threshold is so fucking low that ten seconds of certain music can trigger hours of seizures. things are looking good for my new xcopri 😍

[ribbitflings]

you know what hell might be

is when you have a focal seizure that tried to generalize, but two excitatory and inhibitory networks were fighting, so what was supposed to be your tonic clonic seizure keeps resetting itself and lasts the exact amount of time as a TC, but its just nothing but tonics that string together like a single seizure with no sustained phase, maybe the most minute of any "clonic" phase, and you got to be there for all of it because your fucking brain didnt quite make it to generalizing

[ribbitflings]

i honestly always hated the term "disabled" and didn't want to call myself that at all. i know it seems like a lot of people are calling themselves disabled and i feel like they're collecting words they dont grasp the meaning of to add to a list, but i didnt want to consider myself "disabled." when the seizures happened only once every few weeks, i was pretty okay right? besides maybe med side effects, which is already shitty. but now that "the strongest med on the market" is thoroughly fucking with my existing meds and probably rendered everything ineffective, even if we did try to go back to my original regimen, with the evolving strangeness and worsening of the seizures and their increasing resistance to emergency measures, im starting to feel like my *situation* is disabling, because the amount and severity of the seizures are disabling, but im still not sure that i would consider myself disabled yet. i know technically in legal standing i would be disabled, but my personal view of myself being disabled is entirely different than legal status

[ribbitflings]

my brother called me for a video call while i was actively seizing and i didnt see it until like 45 minutes later 🥰

[ribbitflings]

my new xcopri and lamotrigine have been fighting and at this point, i think the xcopri is winning

[ribbitflings]

I’d like to thank my brain for taking the time to send seizures my way tonight. It knows how much I love them and how much I love being confined to my bed with an ice pack, drugs, and killer headache.

[ribbitflings]

oh i posted this shit on my socials to target at the people and it literally says that music triggers seizures. my mother that im nc with fucking sends me a music video. and the last time i had posted something about epilepsy, she responded to it with something so fucking stupid that i actually almost blocked her

i made this infographic covering several topics that are important for me and targeted at some people i know, but feel free to use it

[ribbitflings]

went into status the other day, failed the first emergency pill, then required the nasal spray that it took an act of god to get a couple of weeks ago

i had tonics, which are my "usual" seizure type, and i dont think it ever progressed to TC like last time, but instead i ended up with spaced tonics and then NCSE and apparentlt sounded drunk and was spouting insults eveywhere and my mf partner got mad at me and i had to actually seize again before he knew i was still having seizures and had to give the nose spray

[ribbitflings]

i made this infographic covering several topics that are important for me and targeted at some people i know, but feel free to use it

[ribbitflings]

ive had a headache all day and im nauseous af and seized to an unholy degree the past two days and the only thing i can do is think about how FOB blares in my head right before a bad seizure

[ribbitflings]

hey guys! a song called "back to earth" is the song that precedes me having such a severe cluster of seizures that i require my emergency meds 😍

[ribbitflings]

LMFAOOO i just found out that the reason ive been feeling extra seizurey is because the new drug im getting onto interacts with both of my other meds <3

[ribbitflings]

we know its focal bc of the spikes but i????

we just grappling for shit at this point

"localized to left parieto occipital cortex" "findings consistent with mesial temporal sclerosis" "spikes found in frontal Fz region"

my brother in christ, where tf is it 😭