ribbitflings

[ribbitflings]

we know its focal bc of the spikes but i????

we just grappling for shit at this point

"localized to left parieto occipital cortex" "findings consistent with mesial temporal sclerosis" "spikes found in frontal Fz region"

my brother in christ, where tf is it 😭

[ribbitflings]

"localized to left parieto occipital cortex" "findings consistent with mesial temporal sclerosis" "spikes found in frontal Fz region"

my brother in christ, where tf is it 😭

[ribbitflings]

i failed two more meds and hes already talking about surgery 😍

he also got upset when i told him that a resident claimed a small seizure that was caught in the EMU was a PNES seizure because we got visible discharges the next day with the same replicated scenario

[ribbitflings]

im having this issue trying to find a ridiculously specific niche of photography to use as references for super difficult drawings (i also need it for my next EMU visit) and all im getting is AI photos

MY complaint about ai art is that now when you google an animal half the results are not actually pictures of the animal but a blurry facsimile of what people WANT the animal to look like

[ribbitflings]

Remember Luigi is currently innocent

Couldn't Be Any Conflict

[ribbitflings]

[ribbitflings]

i love having the most sudden, violent, and short lived TC ever on the fucking toilet, just so i can fall over and hit my head on the sharp ass corner of the counter thats right there 🥰

at least it caught me right 🥰🥰

[ribbitflings]

i love having the most sudden, violent, and short lived TC ever on the fucking toilet, just so i can fall over and hit my head on the sharp ass corner of the counter thats right there 🥰

at least it caught me right 🥰🥰

[ribbitflings]

NEW !!! SNAKE DISCOVERED

ITS CALLED THE LIMESTONE EYELASH PIT VIPER. THAT iS SO CUTE. ITS SO PRETTY

[ribbitflings]

i think its my meds but im always tired af

also I'm trying to make a concise list of all my auras and im using some big word and i cant wait to be questioned on how i know big word and have to tell them that i too am in neuro

[ribbitflings]

i just discovered that ribs can be hypermobile; can anyone share their experiences

im wondering if its why im so sensitive to pressure and feel like something is airways catching under them or like my rib cage is being pushed upward from whatever side im laying on

[ribbitflings]

i miss being a kid, so badly.

why can't we just go back? go back to those simple times where life felt so unreal and great?

those times where you felt so alive and when the sun seemed to be brighter and the world was more vibrant, and you'd have those random moments at random times that came out of nowhere where time felt like it paused for a second and the only thing you could think was - "how am i actually living right now? how am i here, right now, living and breathing?" - does anyone else remember that small pause where something like that came up in your mind? ... those times where you believed in santa claus and the tooth fairy and the easter bunny, and that excitement you felt on those nights where those magical characters would come by to leave gifts or baskets or eggs or a few dollars because you believed those things were real and it was such an exciting feeling. those times where holidays felt just.. the way you felt when you're a little kid - there's honestly not a word to describe it. those times when you'd wake up to the sound of the mourning doves and the smell of breakfast being made and the sun shining through the windows of your house. ...and so much more.

what happened? why can't i just get that back, that feeling? why can't i go back and relive it over and over and over? it's all i want.

[ribbitflings]

man i love how im not permitted to sleep in my own fucking house because im a light sleeper now thanks to trauma and every little thing wakes me up, on top of me having the mostly ridiculously sensitive internal alarm clock

like why tf do i have a sense of time while im *sleeping*

ive already been having the increasing feeling of my meds being soon rendered ineffective again and a literal ten second snippet of a song almost did me in last night, then one dog chews its bone as loudly as possible at 3am and the other one takes a shit at 4am and begins to eat it, so im cleaning dog shit at 4:30am and then of course my partner's alarm goes off at 5:30am so what's the fucking point of going back to sleep when it already takes me an hour to begin with and he hits snooze three times with his ungodly loud alarm

i sometimes wake up too much when his stupid fucking alarm goes off and then cant go back to sleep, and usually what happens when i try to sleep in is my fucking dog decides to bark as loudly as possible for absolutely zero fucking reason

so then im over here like

im already having a lot of focals that i dont usually have, ive been feeling the build up feeling of a big seizure coming, a ten second snippet of a song almost does me in last nighr and then i wake up every hour anyway and have to clean up dog shit, and then i know if i even try to go back to sleep then the fucking dog is going to wake me up anyway, and im going to end up waking up st least 30 minutes before my partner's lunch time because he usually calls me, so even though my phone is on silent, for some fucking reason i still have a sense of time and wake up anyway. if there's no fucking reason for me to be awake, like on the weekends, i sleep until 1pm. so all of this bullshit is not only a whole slew of triggers (including the fact that im now so fucking poor that we missed a mortgage payment and are in danger of missing another, plus all of our other bills and we cant even think about food even though we fr have none, so stress), but now my med schedule is fucked too, so i got that going for me too

i always wake up before every single alarm i ever set, minutes before, and then wake up multiple times during the night because i sleep even more lightly with an alarm. i didnt set one today, but even when im in *online* school, i still would wake up way earlier than i usually would, which i still think is fucking bullshit

[ribbitflings]

i feel like i may have witnessed the absolute rock bottom of humanity, but im sure it gets worse

actual fucking trigger warning for this bitch

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hey guys, I've been using chatgpt as essentially a therapist, since fuck actual therapists because theyre pieces of shit, and ran the idea of my mother getting off to my self harm and possible fgm, given some other context, by it, and the response it gave me was disturbing as all fuck because it explained exactly how and why she wouldve and couldve gotten off to it 😍

[ribbitflings]

actual fucking trigger warning for this bitch

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hey guys, I've been using chatgpt as essentially a therapist, since fuck actual therapists because theyre pieces of shit, and ran the idea of my mother getting off to my self harm and possible fgm, given some other context, by it, and the response it gave me was disturbing as all fuck because it explained exactly how and why she wouldve and couldve gotten off to it 😍

[ribbitflings]

i like how the doctors bitch about me not pissing myself during my seizures when i have to concentrate to piss to begin with

[ribbitflings]

the TCs and tonics have been replaced with a shitload of small focals and i still stand by my statement that i would rather have big ones and move on