#maybe it's not that i personally deserve better than that but i feel like everyone deserves better than that
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queervegancryptid · 1 day ago
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What's really bizarre to me is how this sort of thing dovetails with the mentality a lot of these people have in terms of, like, the prosperity gospel doctrine common to a lot of religious conservatives. It took me a really long time to wrap my head around it in this way.
I added a cut because this got long. But I think it's important for anyone trying to make sense of this kind of bullshit to understand this as part of the why. I grew up around it, and it still took me a long time to understand its role in all this. I don't think it necessarily applies to RFK Jr, but it applies to a lot of conservatives, in and out of government. So I think it's relevant.
For anybody who doesn't know, the prosperity gospel thinking of which I speak is basically the idea that how good you have it and how well your life is going is a direct result of your status in the eyes of God. That is to say, it isn't just that they think they deserve good things, but more than that, they think having good things is a sign of being a good person, so your socioeconomic status is seen as a direct reflection of how good or bad a person you are. This also goes along with the idea that, without this "God" as they understand it, there is no morality at all.
The flip side of this is that they fully believe not having good things is a sign you don't deserve them because God has decided you're not deserving, and who are these good Christians if they hubristically question God's plan? So if you lose your job, your home, etc, they don't necessarily see themselves as having a community obligation to help you. They see it as your fuck up, and you need to get right with the Lord.
In other words, how good or bad your life is is directly proportional to how much or how little God approves of you. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, and it's your own fault if you haven't managed to be pure enough to earn a good life.
What we see here is that mentality applied to illness. And it isn't actually new, in terms of how they think of disability being something you can avoid if you're truly deserving of having a healthy body that works as expected. If you don't have that, that's a "you" problem. Even if it's caused by something preventable or something that wouldn't have caused a disabling condition to occur, had the person had access to care, they still see it as a reflection of them having earned it in some way by not being better in the eyes of God.
Basically what I'm saying is that they don't care if children or old people or immune compromised people or literally any group I could name dies of COVID or any of the other illnesses that are preventable via vaccination or other means or from an otherwise treatable condition. They don't care about any of that, because if the little kid was supposed to be healthy, God wouldn't have let them get COVID/flu/polio/etc.
There are definitely also people who are just, well, stupid. Like folks who think vaccines cause autism. Even if they did, that would make it a pretty easy choice: maybe having an autistic child OR having your (maybe, but not guaranteed) neurotypical child get seriously ill and maybe die from illnesses that they would otherwise be a lot more protected from. So they're basically saying that they'd rather have a sick or dead child than an autistic one, and as an autistic person, I'm offended and hurt by that mentality, but more than that, if you feel that way, you probably shouldn't be having children in the first place.
But the prosperity gospel complex is real and deeply shapes a lot of the mentality of people who voted based on crap like vaccine mandates and mask mandates. It's a very real "I got mine, so I must be good with God, and everyone else is on their own, including children and people at high risk I could be protecting by being responsible. If they get sick and die, that's on them."
They're all going to the Bad Place, if there is one. But I'm just trying to get people to understand the mentality involved here. It generally isn't worth arguing with people who think that way, but if you're going to engage, you should know this is what you're up against. And I really hope it helps some folks understand that this is part of what we're up against. Once you see it through that lens, a lot of the crazy bullshit they pull becomes predictable. No less horrifying, but less jarring in a way, at least to me.
I also think it's generally good to, for want of a better phrase, "know your enemy." Not for the purposes of reasoning with them, necessarily, because this is often impossible. But understanding how this fucked up machine works is a good thing, and this is part of what feeds into it.
Still, sometimes a monster is just a monster. And not in a fun Tumblr way, but in a Strange New Worlds gorn type of way: you can't reason with it, and it wants to kill you and is definitely very capable. (I know we got monsterfuckers here, and probably some of you would be down to clown with gorn, but let me have my metaphor here pls. No judgement, just not the point of this post lol)
Sorry this got long. I grew up around these people, and sometimes I forget I know about the culture in some ways others may not. So I see posts with people (rightly) outraged by things like this, wondering how any reasonable person could be okay with this. And the thing is, they aren't reasonable. Stop expecting reasonable behavior out of these people, because you'll just be disappointed and aggravated. I know some of this seems crazy, and that's because it is. It's insidious in so many ways, too.
My dad used to say, "Never argue with a pig. It won't work, and it just irritates the pig." Sometimes that's true. Sometimes, though, the pig likes it, and you just end up covered in shit, because that's what pigs do. Save yourself the trouble.
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I don't think children should die of preventable diseases just because their parents are freaks.
RFK Jr. and Red State paternalism are a deadly mix for innocent children.
Mind you, RFK is vaccinated AND he vaccinated his own kids. But, you can die.
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deadhands69 · 2 days ago
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Cute When You Stutter
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loser!Shigaraki x gn/afab Reader
prev ◁ part 3 ▷ next
[series masterlist]
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The photos you posted with Shigaraki were pretty popular among your friends, most of whom were absolutely surprised at the news of you having a boyfriend (especially the people who recognized him from the news.) Among the notifications you received, one message from an old friend stands out:
you’re bringing him to my party tonight, right?
Honestly, you forgot about the party until now. It’s too late to bail though, you've said you'd be there multiple times by now. 
Back to your screen, there are already five likes on the comment and a handful of responses all indicating they want to meet your new guy.
I don’t know, you respond, he’s probably busy
Thinking that will end the conversation, you go about your day.
Checking your phone a few hours later, you find that your comment only sparked more discussion from people who your ex has already gotten to. Statements like he’d leave you alone at a valentine’s party and i heard this was fake flood your screen.
A fleeting thought tells you to drop it. Go on with your life and ignore anyone who questions you. None of it needs to be their business. 
Given that that’s not gone well for you with anything to do with your ex, you abandon that sort of thinking and push further. You’ll have to bring Shigaraki by eventually if you’re continuing this, might as well rip off the bandaid and get it over with today. 
You pause at Tomura’s door, remembering that the last time you saw him he was running from your room after cumming in his pants. Please don’t be more awkward than usual you repeat to yourself. Knocking briefly, you enter unceremoniously. He abandons his game, pulling the cat ear headset onto his neck. This is a massive departure from his usual response of grumbling at you for invading his privacy.
Cutting straight to the point, you ask if he’ll continue the dating charade in person. Noting that you’ll absolutely make it worth his while.
“All this for that guy?” he asks, wrinkling his nose at the thought.
“No! Not really? It’s just,” your voice is shaking in frustration, “I know he’ll tell everyone and I don’t want my friends to pity me or be weird about it.” 
“So, it’s not even about him. It’s about your old friends.”
“Exactly,” your voice sounds as desperate as you feel and you know he can sense that, “you don’t even have to stay for very long. And I’ll-”
“Yeah, I’ll do it,” he says so casually that you’re not sure he fully understands what he agreed to.
“Thank you!” you exclaim, “it’s tonight. Leave at 8?”
“Okay,” he pulls his headset back on and returns to his game. As you leave, you barely hear him mumble under his breath, “if they still listen to what he says, I think you deserve better friends. No one here would ever do that.” 
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Stumbling out the door of your bedroom, you realize with the amount of effort you put into looking presentable, you’re running slightly late. Shigaraki is waiting for you in the living room, having cleaned up surprisingly well. His hair is freshly washed, clothes clean, and whatever soap/deodorant combo he used smells amazing. For a moment, you forget why the two of you are going to this party together in the first place and begin to actually look forward to the evening. Giddy, even. You take a moment to remind yourself that this is the same guy who awkwardly huffs your laundry detergent because it smells like you, plays dating sims on full volume, and gets hard if you so much as glance in his direction. There’s no need to be nervous.
When you arrive, the party is already packed. Having expected a more quiet evening with maybe a few games or conversations, you’re a bit shocked to walk in and immediately see your ex trying to chug champagne from a beer bong.
“I should have warned you he’d be here,” one of your friends ushers the two of you into another room. “It’s just, you get it,” she pleads.
No, you don’t get it but you’ll keep the peace.
“Yeah, whatever,” you grumble, pouring sweet sparkling wine from a sticky bottle into two plastic cups. 
“Cheers!” you say, sloshing your drink into Tomura’s. Even in a room full of people you know, you find yourself preferring to spend time with him. You have to admit he’s growing on you.
After an hour of small talk and dragging around your awkward arm candy, Shigaraki excuses himself to find a restroom. Now’s as good a time as any to refill your cup for what you're guessing is either the fourth or seventh time so you head to the kitchen. Your asshole ex misses absolutely no time in cornering you.
“You look nice tonight,” he says, arms caging you into the counter. Without a verbal response, you glare at him before ducking under his arm and walking away, champagne bottle in hand. He yells after you, “come on, that guy? He probably fucks his fist every night crying over you.”
You know he does, the two of you share a wall. And it’s cute, that’s part of why you like him. Wait…what? You’ll come back to that thought later. Heading to find Tomura in a rush, you collide with him in the hallway. Maybe it’s the dizzying amount of drinks you’ve already had but he looks so kissable. And you did say you’d make tonight worth his while.
Pulling him into the nearest door you see, you find yourself in the bathroom. Perfect. 
He still has the deer in the headlights look on his face as you lock the door behind you. You set the bottle of champagne on the counter, pressing him into the corner between the door and wall. He whimpers at your touch.
Dragging your lips over his, you whisper “I thought you’d be used to me by now.” You kiss him slowly, drawing it out. He hums as you lightly suck his bottom lip between your teeth. “I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve touched you.” His mouth cracks open, letting you slide your tongue over his. “And I know what you do every night, the walls are thin. I hear it when you moan my name.”
He blushes at the thought, wanting to be ashamed but he can't. Not with the way your sweet lips linger on his.
Your hand trails down the front of his thin shirt, past the hem, and to his growing erection. Tracing the outline of him, you reach to unbutton his pants.  Hand hovering over the zipper, you glance back at his face. He’s practically crying at your touch.
“P-please,” he quietly pleads.
It’s the furthest you’ve ever been with him and he hasn’t cum instantly and run away which is progress. Unzipping his pants and pulling the length of him out of his underwear, it’s prettier than you expected. He’s rock hard already, grinding himself into your hand. You wrap your fingers around his dick, stroking him slowly while you resume kissing him. Your mouth moves over his jaw and down his neck as he throws his head back, panting. His hands are fists at his side, trying hard not to touch anything.
“Fuck,” he whines, breathlessly. You suck his neck harder, bringing your free hand to massage his tip. 
Immediately, he throws his clenched hands around your shoulders. He groans, covering your hands in pearly white that drips between your fingers. You hum in amusement. How many times have you made him cum without ever getting to see it? He whimpers in overstimulation as you run your hands over him a few more times to get the last few drops out.
Crimson eyes follow you through the room as you move to wash your hands. 
“I- uhm, thanks,” he mumbles, struggling to pull his pants over his still hard dick. You smirk at him, while making yourself presentable again.
“Awe, fuck,” you mutter to your phone. In the four minutes you were in here with him, all hell seems to have broken loose outside. The few texts from your friends make you cringe.
your ex is out here
hes sad
you should give him another chance! he says hes really sorry
hes hotter than your new boyfriend anyways
“Ugghhh,” you grumble, taking a massive swig off the champagne bottle you nearly forgot on the bathroom counter. They know he cheated on you and they know how you felt about it, yet you're still having to deal with this.
“What, what’s going on?” Tomura asks, tailing you as you shove open the door and stumble into the hallway. You’re not really sure why, but you show him your phone.
“Oh,” he mouths, eyebrows raised. “Do you want to go?” he asks tentatively as you chug what’s left of the champagne.
As you enter the living room, one of your friends approaches, begging you to talk to him. Through double vision, you watch as your ex’s girlfriend rushes out the door, crying. She doesn’t deserve this, you decide, and neither do you. You sway slightly as you turn to Tomura who’s standing awkwardly by your side. 
And, the rest of the night is black. 
You don’t remember anything after that.
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taglist: @shigarakislaughter @kalulakunundrum
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pillowenvelopchair · 7 months ago
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Absolutely fucking stupid that my schools suicide prevention protocol is to basically to put someone in house arrest until a professional can write and “prove” that theyre okay so that theyre sure that they can let a student back in. Yeah. Sure. Just force someone to be in the house where they are even MORE at danger when there are literal sharp objects makes it easier to do it
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guinevereslancelot · 1 month ago
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not "i can do better" or even "i deserve better" per se, because i can't really believe that, but an inexplicable third reason i won't settle for a relationship where my level of care, effort, and sacrifice isn't reciprocated <3
#can't really explain why#it's a feeling like i want to say i deserve better but i always feel fundamentally unworthy of love so that's not it#and it's definitely not confidence that i can actually find someone willing to treat me better bc i often think i'll end up alone#but its a feeling like i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't treat me the way i want to be treated#and i'm not saying this guy was cruel or bad in any way he just chose himself over me and didn't prioritize me#to the point that he broke up with me to make more time for his hobbies#and i don't need to be someone's absolute number 1 priority especially early in a relationship#but i feel like the relationship should be somewhere close to the top of the list#at least between career and skiing#not like i wanted or ever asked him to stop skiing#but he was aware that he was choosing to spend his time off doing that rather than seeing me#and im not even upset about that#honestly it was the entire days he spent in bed watching tv including the last day of break before we both went back to work#where he was too exhausted or lazy to want to see me even when i offered to come over#maybe it's not that i personally deserve better than that but i feel like everyone deserves better than that#anyway no point really but i cant quite put into words why i'm so okay with this breakup but this has something to do with it#i won't settle for not being a priority even if that means i end up alone#which is a nice feeling bc in the midst of it i was so patient and willing to put up with it#like oh he just needs time and if i out up with it and i'm not clingy then he'll love me and i'll become a priority#but even early in a relationship getting to know someone takes a willingness to prioritize doing that and make time for them#like i didn't need to see him every day but we had two entire weeks off from work and i saw him 4 times#and only 3 of those were actual dates#and i'm not mad at him i just accept that he's not really capable of having a relationship with anyone until he matures a lot#he didn't set out to hurt me or anything he's just immature and a bit selfish but i'm sure he doesn't even know that#but i'm glad it happened bc now i know what my standards are tbh#this has been a shitpost
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fvckednddistvrbed · 7 months ago
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i ate a lot today, not as much as other days, but still im disappointed with myself and starting to feel sick. why cant i be good at restriction? god this makes me wanna sh so fucking bad
#tw s3lf harm#i dont even feel sick from eating too much like usual#its like the feeling of food in my stomach is making my throat feel tight and its activating my gag reflex a bit so i feel like im gonna tu#tw 3d shit#tw 3d vent#3d ana#not exactly pro a*a but not anti either.. :/#i want to post more in this community and get mutuals and get help with navigating this whole thing but im scared cause ive seen#so many people have their whole accounts deleted and i think i would actually kms if that happened since ive had my main for like 8 years#and to be clear im very pro recovery#which i know i know conflicts with the whole wanting mutuals to *help* me with an ed and not help me to *not* have an ed#i think everyone deserves to recover and i hope i do but right now is just not fucking it for me#so for not its a whole lotta#male thinpo#slef harm#right and i definitely cant talk about being b p d uncensored or ill get reported cause the b*d community is super toxic but in the way that#slef harm and scars are chillin but eds are actually a real struggle™️ and you should have it in secret like everyone else#not to generalize all pw b*pd obviously many and probably most arent like this#but tumblr is a very concentrated dose of that kinda person and its sad for us pw b*pd that are both kinds of toxic LMAO#i joke of course#anyway yeah pro recovery for sure but not currently in recovery#ana moots#body chex#someone who could help with that maybe idk im also kinda shy so maybe just someone to help me with restrictions and staying accountable#at least for now#also if you sh all the better cause i will wanna talk about that too#also to clarify my earlier statement 'not pro a*a' means i dont think and 3d is a lifestyle and i recognize that im sick#but 'not exactly anti' means im not going to avoid these communities or report people in them for being pro#because thats about as effective as throwing out an addicts stash or hiding sharp objects from a chronic sh'r- theyll still find a way#and probably way easier and faster than you think and theyll feel even more alienated and less inclined to seek help
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windupaidoneus · 8 months ago
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now some people may not like to hear it but even the worst people who exist are still people & there is no human being who has More right than others to decide whether others deserve to live or die (does not mean i personally condemn murder in self defense or anything of the sort or killing fascists or whatever i'm just saying as a baseline This Is How it Is) & this is why the death penalty is not a good thing no matter how good & trustworthy the people in any government might be. people on average also deserve the chance to learn to do better. & no, someone who's been forcefed propaganda their entire life will not let go of that deeply entrenched mindset so easily, it's not particularly unrealistic & it absolutely sucks to deal with but in the context of tangibly working toward world peace it's also not an issue to try & help such people both in material ways & in helping them learn better rather than cut them down or abandon them to a grim fate. all this to say that's why i don't think garlemald is written badly, as unpleasant as the experience might be. walks off the stage
#ffposting#also if you hate garlemald's writing THIS much but like emet-selch i think theres a disconnect there i just dont understand.#like he made it that way. you do understand this is all because of him right. maybe you should be more upset about that.#garlemald is very uncomfortable & the real life parallels it draws make it a very very touchy Thing to deal with#but i do not think it is handled badly.#their supremacy is entirely gone by the time of edw the people there have known nothing but propaganda#the populares are known to be a minority. people like cid or jenomis aren't that common. this is why they get along#the propaganda is such that even occupied domans like asahi fell for it & feel absolutely nothing for their kin#thats what propaganda does. there is absolutely a degree of responsibility regarding what they do & i would never say otherwise#however the idea that we should let them die & not get a chance to rebuild after theyve lost everything (again) is like. huh.#when you want to work toward world peace in a meaningful way you cant just abandon anyone like that.#like thats a whole people. they suck! but it is not immutable & they deserve the opportunity to do better like any other#id much rather they face retribution for their actions in meaningful ways including working toward reparations#wrt all the peoples the empire occupied than to round them up to kill them or worse let them die to the telophoroi#OR to becoming blasphemies. that would make things so extremely worse.#i just dont understand how you can have sympathy for jullus when he was just like everyone else at first#but you want to leave the rest of them to die. & i dont get how you can like emet & want them to die.#like he fucking did this its a pretty notable very fucking bad thing that he did. no doubt varis has made it worse#but varis was in power for like 2 years at best.#that emet was playing a role & did not actually believe in or care about what he was doing does not erase that he did it#& i personally find it hypocritical to like him if you balk at the idea of garlemald restoration. clears throat#i believe in killing fascists but i also dont believe in punitive justice#& by the time of edw garlean civilians do not hold the systemic power they once mightve#which i think is also important. their entire country is in shambles.#if anything its the ideal opportunity for them all to start anew & learn better. shed their preconceptions as one might say#that said i still skip garlemald cutscenes bc i dont need cunts calling me a savage ✋-_-#do not take any of this for garlean apologia i fucking hate dealing with them on an individual level as a xaela player lmfao#but yeah. if you can feel pity for livia who is a military general WHO HAS ACTIVELY KILLED YOUR FRIENDS#but not for the civilians whove never been exposed to anything other than propaganda. idk man. 30 tags. fly free my post
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 years ago
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hey real quick bc i haven't seen anyone really talk about it; fuck Hoarders. what a disgusting fucking show. like i know a lotta content boils down to "let's gawk at mentally ill or poor or whatever ppl" but this one specifically really peels my paint. it's sickening. let's spend an hour walking around someone's house and going "wow!! look how fucked this is!!! i can't believe you live like this (despite having done like 13 seasons of this)!!!! you really need to get your act together, buster!" and then interviewing the family to get sound bites demonstrating how much of an Unreasonable Burden the subject is and (without actually helping any of the mental health issues that may lead someone to hoard) roll their eyes at them when they are upset at someone taking and trashing/destroying their precious belongings (or are made to do it themselves). and then half the time in the where are they now segment it's like "yeah they relapsed lol idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" like??? no shit dumbass.
i don't care how strange their homes or habits are. these people are deserving of compassion and real, honest help. they don't need people to marvel at how Kooky Wacky Bonkers™ they are, and they don't need people to hurt them just because they don't understand what they see in their possessions or are embarrassed by knowing them or whatever.
we don't need another voyeuristic savior-complex charade where the condition for The Most Half-Assed Help You've Ever Seen is being publicly humiliated and having to destroy things that mean a lot to you. what the fuck.
#a lotta these situations involve actual danger for the subject or their dependents so like getting rid of stuff is sometimes necessary#but just taking the rug out from under them without additional support isnt gonna help anyone longterm#and mocking them on national television certainly isnt either#like if someone's keeping dead cats in their freezer i feel like there are more constructive ways of dealing with that than 'lol' or#'youre a disgusting freak and we're gonna display that to everyone and also not help you fuck you etc'#like. god.#im not arguing the subjects are all saints or whatever either btw but they deserve to be treated like human beings#like?? forcing someone to destroy or throw out most of their posessions and mocking them for being emotional about it is cruel#it's no less cruel just because you dont get why theyre attached to those things#maybe it's even ESPECIALLY cruel because of the nature of hoarding#it's so dehumanizing#and idc if some of the subjects have been helped by being on hoarders. ppl could just help w/o mocking them and they could do a better job#if the show helps ppl it's on accident. the purpose is to watch and revel in it. in how stubborn and deluded people can be. in how much#better we are than them. in how just the hosts' disregard for their feelings is. etc. fucking repulsive#it's a dr phil situation imo#anyway my parents used to watch it a few years back and it's always bothered me that their chill sunday entertainment was. this shit.#and the subjects' faces when they see the cleared out house is almost always so.. strained.#i think it's a part of a broader problem with this kinda content and its fetishization of the reality check#to them the feelings of the deluded person don't matter because they annoy or inconvenience their peers#hence the 'i can't believe you care about this garbage' mentality of the show. even if that care comes from illness those feelings are real#so to force them through step 8 of a recovery process before steps 1-7 and then insult them for not recovering is just. god.#i hate it i hate it so much
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nevertem · 1 year ago
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"It really is hard to be liked as a person...when you don't know who you are, yourself...."
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snekdood · 2 months ago
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i think ppl gotta get acquainted with the difference between systemic privilege and social privilege, which can overlap, but not always.
#a lot of the time when i feel like someone is 'privileged' even though ik they actually aren't its bc socially they are-#they have a social safety net. they dont gotta worry about their friends and/or family abandoning them. people generally like them. yknow?#and i think ppl take it for granted or act like its super easy to 'climb the social pyramid' even left leaning ppl act this way about it#(though its more of a subconscious thing rather than something directly acknowledged and thought about)#when in reality theres a lot of things other people can do to you to make it harder to have that same level of social privilege.#id say climbing the social pyramid specifically in left leaning spaces is nearly impossible. people designate a spot for you and you#p much stay there forever unless they can get some use out of you.#like im glad we're having these convos about systemic privilege but i think they're incomplete w/o considering this.#and dont come in here acting like 'its not as big of a deal' because clearly you dont understand how important companionship is for humans#social privilege also changes based on the setting. like... you could generally be liked by people outside of a certain group#but within that group you're seen as horrible irredeemable garbage and ignored and stomped on and spat on.#so then you have 0 social privilege within that group.#you have no sway. your voice doesnt count or matter. etc. etc.#and lets try a different more specific situation... lets say you're generally disliked by people around you and you go to this other group#of people that you heard was accepting of people like you... and you find you're hated there as well#kinda seems like you have 0 social privilege. so no safety net. no friends or family. no one likes you. you have no sway.#everyone ignores you. your voice doesnt count or matter......#and if you dont have a whole lot of systemic privilege either? life is gonna be pretty rough. who do you turn to for help?#if you have no systemic privilege but a lot of social privilege things are at least a bit better. you have friends to rely on. couches to#crash on. people who will bring you things you need. people who will help you when you need it most.#but what do you do if you have essentially neither? do you rot in the street bc someone thought you were just too cringe or w/e?#bc you didnt fit their Vibe or Aesthetic enough? because you didnt agree with every little thing they believe about something?#do you deserve to rot for the 'social crime' of being generally disliked?#even worse- what if theres not even a real reason people have to dislike you either. maybe if you were a bad person you'd feel it's#at least justified....... being left to rot and freeze to death..... for just being different..........#a lot of systemic privilege can come from social privilege too. like knowing the right person at the right time & becoming rich.
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beloveds-embrace · 2 months ago
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Thinking about designationless reader...
Imagine how alone she must've been for all her life. It started since she was young, her parents pushing her to the corner of the home, away from the family, and naturally, her siblings would follow their parents' lead, pointedly ignoring her, and finding any excuse available to be out of her presence. She wouldn't understand them anyway, she can't tell the difference between noises nor could she even recognize scents. It just wouldn't work.
Reader thinks that maybe she could find someone, anyone in school, but kids are like sharks, except instead of smelling blood, they smell the lack of all scents on her. Most kids have a combination of their own and their family members' scents. Reader has nothing, so everyone continues the pattern, but now with more stares and jeers and hushed giggles. Reader knows that bullying is bad, but anything would be better than simply not existing to anyone. That's what the others say, at least, that she's nothing, nobody. Never to her face, though, just in the whispers shared between friends.
She eventually tries to find others like her through the wonders of the internet. There's maybe a handful more scattered in her country, but none are her age, and all have their own families who care about them. Was it just her who wasn't deserving of love, of connection? Reader reaches out to them, and they talk a little, but before long, through no one's fault, it falls through. She was bad at talking anyway, even if she doesn't have to worry about scents or sounds that aren't there, she never knew much about context or connotation. She never had the opportunity to learn about the intricacies in communication. Reader is back alone.
The military eventually scouts her, and it's the first time anyone has ever really looked at her. Sure, they look at her like a valuable tool, but a tool is better than nothing. Reader obviously joins, desperate for crumbs. She climbs the ranks, gets the job done. She is good at her job, so people respect her. She learns how to talk professionally, emails, texts, and so one, but no one talks to her on leave. No one invites her to the pub after a good mission. No one even talks to her in the mess. But people do talk to her when they have to, and that's enough. Maybe she even gets a callsign. Doe. After Jane Doe, the placeholder name for unknown individuals, and insult if anything.
Now there's the 141. They invite her to things. They talk to her. They touch her. Reader exists for them. She isn't just an unknown person stuck in the background and invisible to everyone else, and Reader doesn't know what to do. Her speech is awkward and overly professional, even in personal settings. How is she supposed to be friends with someone, multiple someones? How is she supposed to move? To act? To express? She doesn't know, but she really wants to learn. At least now she has good teachers.
ANON YOU GENIUSSSS okay but this? Perfect. AHHHH I ADORE THIS IDEA!! Esp the jane doe callsign omg yes
You weren’t used to being seen.
Growing up, you learned quickly how to make yourself small- how to exist quietly, without taking up space, without asking for too much. Because the few times you had asked- asked for a hug, asked to be let into the nest, asked why you felt so different- the answers had all been the same.
No.
Not now.
Not you.
It wasn’t that your parents didn’t love you. You were sure they did, in their own way. But love was hard to feel when your mother flinched at your touch like you were something disgusting, when your father sighed like he was tired every time you entered the room as if you were taking up space he was saving for his other children. When your siblings built their nests without you, curling into piles of warmth and safety while you sat outside the door, knees pulled to your chest and hands balled into fists to keep them from knocking, a cold ache burrowing itself in your chest.
You stopped knocking eventually.
You stopped trying.
You used to wonder if you’d done something wrong- if maybe you could fix yourself and everything would go back to normal. But it wasn’t something you could fix. It was just… you.
Scentless.
Designationless.
Invisible.
School had been worse, perhaps the worst. At least your family had pretended not to notice how different you were. The other kids didn’t bother pretending. They stared openly, whispered behind your back, laughed when you walked by. You’d caught bits and pieces of what they said- weird, wrong, broken, as if they hoped by having you hear their words, they’d convince you to leave at last.
You’d started keeping your head down after that, slipping through the halls like a shadow. No one talked to you unless they had to, and even then they either did it with a mocking, jeering tone that echoes in your nightmares or with a meek tone; as if your lack of everything is contagious. No one sat next to you at lunch, either. When partners were assigned, you always ended up working alone per your teachers’ instructions.
It was easier that way.
At least, that’s what you told yourself.
By the time you joined the military, you’d gotten good at being alone. You didn’t need friends. Didn’t need packmates. You had work, and work didn’t care if you were quiet or awkward or too stiff to laugh at the right jokes. Work didn’t care if you flinched when people got too close or froze when someone raised their voice. Work demanded to be done, and you had nothing and no one to stop you from that.
But the military also has the same teens who used to bully you so consistently. Rookies all to ready and happy to lord over you. It’s how you get your despised callsign, Doe. Jane Doe. A cruel mockery, comedy wherein you are the joke that has the world laughing.
Still, you wear it. It’s still an acknowledgment and that will always be better than never being seen. You flit from team to team, unit to unit, always an observer from afar, watching everyone around you speak a language you can’t.
But the 141 was different, when you eventually end up working for them.
They cared.
They cared in ways you weren’t ready for.
Soap was relentless, dragging you into conversations even when you barely knew what to say. He filled the silences like it didn’t bother him, kept talking for the both of you, lounging against you unbothered, until you started talking back. Gaz was gentlest, steadier. He never pushed, just lingered close enough to remind you he was there, waiting, whenever you were ready. Quiet, silent acceptance you’d never been given before, and you were yet far too afraid to so easily cling to it.
And the Alphas- Price and Ghost- were worse.
Price had a way of looking at you that made your chest ache, like he saw you, really saw you, and didn’t mind what he found. Scentless, with no designation and all. Ghost was quieter, sharper, but his eyes tracked you everywhere, presence wrapping around you like he was staking a claim you didn’t understand, like he was teying to etch every part of you behind his eyelids.
You didn’t know what to do with it.
They didn’t give you space. They sat next to you at meals, tugged you along when they went out for drinks, called you over during breaks like it was the most natural thing in the world. And it felt natural- until it didn’t, because sometimes you still felt like an outsider.
Like you didn’t belong.
You tried to hide it, but they saw through you. They always did, and they never shied away.
When you started avoiding the mess hall, it was Gaz who caught you, shoving a plate of food into your hands and dragging you to sit with him like it wasn’t a big deal. When you hung back during missions, letting the others fall into their pack dynamics without you, Soap was the one who looped an arm around your shoulders and pulled.
And when you flinched, once, at the sharp sound of someone’s voice echoing down the hall- when you tensed so hard it made your fingers tremble- it was Price who closed the distance, standing in front of you like a wall and letting Ghost linger at your back. Neither of them said a word.
They didn’t have to.
You weren’t used to being protected. You weren’t used to belonging.
But they made it hard not to.
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sitting in my room for a half hour thinking about how if we lived in a better world Ada Wong would be the Ilsa Faust of Resident Evil (primarily in how she's introduced in Rogue Nation), with a dynamic to leon not unlike Fujiko Mine's and Lupin's in which they are both extremely competent and in situations in which they may have to work against and occasionally with each other on a mission, but ultimately are forced to stay apart and while they may be apart and even have different love interests from each other, ultimately still care deeply for one another. They are compelled to go after each other in part because it's so difficult and they are so often in circumstances in which they can't be with each other. The thrill of the chase and all that.
Ada being only tangentially related to the other character's stories because the world is simply larger than them and she has her own concerns and problems to deal with, and to have that be given any care or weight in a story, let alone focus. That she can be cunning and even manipulative but because she needs to and will still choose not to when the chips are down because she is genuinely caring--which I know none of that is new ground for her but I wish it was done in a more interesting way and *without leon at all*. She chooses to show mercy in a key point not because she's in love with that other character.
And also that she has more personality. I dig the subdued nature of her in 4r and her subtle sarcasm but it's just crumbs. I want her to be silly on occasion and say dumb jokes because she's alone like in 2r. I want her to shed a bit of that seriousness when she's on the clock because she's confident in herself as a professional and again has no one to put up a façade to.
It's honestly kinda embarrassing reading this back as I realize most of what I'm writing is not only already present in the games but incredibly tropey in and of itself, and wouldn't improve the character much. Dear god I think too much of my view of the character has been marred by shallow fanworks depicting her. I think if anything it's a sign that:
I'm a shit writer and need to do way more than watch movies and gesture vaguely at them to come up w a decent story or character (that being said as much as I prefer Fallout as a film, I stand by my earlier statement of Ilsa Faust being the ideal spy woman as she's depicted in Rogue Nation as she has a distinct set of goals and needs that are complex and developed largely tangentially to the protagonist's, at least initially).
It's going to take a completely new approach to her character to get something remotely interesting and that takes advantage of her potential.
For as mired in tropes as she and every other character and story in Resident Evil is, Ada could be far more memorable and enjoyable if only there was more care and effort to giver at least some interests and goals (perhaps even...characterization) on her own other than being a sexy love interest and potentially traitorous (as so many femme fatales already are).
#I mean she basically already is Fujiko I just wish it was more fun and gave her shit to do that didn't exclusively revolve around leon#I have a lot of thoughts about leon as a character and as much as I enjoy their over-the-top mr & mrs smith romance also fuck leon#Sighs....I know I'm asking too much from a franchise that has famously bad writing and largely archetypal characters but it's maddening#Mostly to me personally because I love spy shit and femme fatales for how messy and misogynistic the archetype is it's my favorite#So it kills me that a cool femme fatale like Ada who has so much potential as a character is relentlessly squandered#And it's the most annoying thing in the world to me to complain about fandoms/fans but I'll be a hypocrite and vent that it bugs me#How much fan media revolves around a*on and coming up with idealized domestic fantasies for them which can be chopped up to misogyny#And how tropey fan shit is but still it's so dull and often bends Ada into an ideal wife/gf for leon but not explore Anything Else At All#Not every romance has to end in marriage and kids like what about the inherent drama of them being forced apart isn't#Compelling to fans? What I'm trying to say is I want them to have a painfully messy divorce and a game or movie exclusively about Ada#*and I mean like they never marry just break up but emotionally it's a messy divorce that's ultimately for the best given their jobs#Also I am far too out of my depth to go into it but many have pointed out how her characterization often falls into pretty#nasty tropes that Asian women often fall into in Hollywood films which considering how much US blockbusters influence re it's not surprisin#But it's unfortunate and I'd be remised to at least mention that it feels at best dicey to have the only recurring Asian woman be mostly#reduced to a love interest of the white protagonist and sexualized with little else to go off of as a character#Yes she's competent and a super spy and saves his life constantly but I Want More And She Deserves Better#And yes everyone is super tropey and flat and the women in general often take a back seat to male charas but like I said#this whole franchise is badly written and honestly it kills me how women are written in general in re but I was thinking too hard about Ada#And maybe a sign that this series needs an even bigger overhaul than the remakes are doing character writing-wise#Or just don't and jettison the bloated lore once and for all and be episodic and silly b-horror idk if I can care about established charas#Coming back if they're in such dull forms. Maybe the mercy kill option is ideal and have re9 and all new installments be different#Ugh why can't I care about something useful like computers or cooking or job applications
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moonchild1 · 6 days ago
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jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅺ)
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hi everyone i am back and boy has there been some amazing fics posted while i was away it's awaken that spark in me again and this list is honestly packed, i went over like 60 fics for this one and i even added some of my ult. faves. the ones i have to mention again because they are just so amazing, trust me you will be going back for more over and over again too. you might notice some fics from ao3 and wattpad included as well they are hold a special place in my heart, they are masterpieces that need to be shared with you guys so please enjoy this new list and give all the authors mentioned all the love and respect they deserve seriously they work so hard on creating these beautiful fics and they deserve all the attention and gratitude we can offer them so please share your love through a like, comment and reblog them so they can feel the love and more people can find their masterlists and accounts because they have some really good fics there as well.
I just wanna send an honourable mention to every single writer i have added to this list without you i would not have so much happiness when i come on this app and you have filled my heart and countless others with so much joy and happiness we appreciate you more than you will ever know and you make being here 10 times better your stories help us through alot and puts smiles on our faces and we get to spend time with a community of people who love what we love and we get to interact because of your ideas and it creates such an amazing experience so thank you for everything that you do the worlds you create and the ideas you come up and for sharing it all with us i adore you so much and you are just the best so once again thank you for everything and i look forward to what so many of you have planned - kiki ♡
NO MINORS ALLOWED PLEASE DON'T INTERACT!
happy reading everyone i hope you enjoy this extra long list of my faves and please remember to be happy and keep on smiling and interact if you want i love hearing from you guys and if you want you can send me a few of your faves 🥹🖤✨
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f - fluff s-smut a - angst
series
lines of fate by @kookiestarlight s a exes au zombie apocalypses tattooist jk
⋆ the last thing Jungkook ever imagined was an outbreak that turned the dead into the living. But even more unexpected is seeing you—an ex he’s known nothing about in the past four years—with a small child who bears a striking resemblance to himself. As Jungkook grapples with the shock and the city spirals into chaos, the two of you are thrust back together, forced to confront unresolved feelings, long-buried truths, and the horrors of the deadly virus taking over.
lost stars by @hueseok f a roommates e2l slow burn college au (33.2k)
⋆ the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.
a lovers kiss by @/hueseok f s a fwb i2l college au (55.6k)
⋆ a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course. and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a ft.kth love triangle dadJK exJK CEO kth (164.4k)
⋆ life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when you’re content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
to the stars by arckook (ao3) a zombie apocalypse (94.6k)
⋆ It was always you, and Jimin, and your best friend Jihyun. But fate, regardless of whether you believed in it or not, had other plans for you. Jimin told you once, "It's a tough road to the stars." Nowadays it was hard to believe the stars were somewhere you could reach.
moirai by norabean (ao3) f s a soulmates slow burn (95.2k)
⋆ On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.
from home by @yuzukult f s a e2l richkid jk fakedating au (89.5k)
⋆ a rich kid who gets cut off from family money meets an average post-grad girl who may be the key to getting him back on his parents’ good side.
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. kth e2l love triangle tsundere jk s2l (103.k+)
⋆ it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
future hearts by @jungblue f s a ft. pjm punk jikook s2l band au f2l lost love (114.6k)
⋆ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
mind games by @yerion f a tsundere jk roommates au (31.8k)
⋆ jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isn’t too bad, purely because you didn’t expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended. as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your team—jungkook, simply couldn’t sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that it’s inevitable
heartbeat by @xbaepsae s a ft myg unrequited love (24.9k)
⋆ “You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.“
one year, my love by @hayjeon f s a historical/royal au 100 days my prince kdrama (31k)
⋆ You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that he’s actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year. 
the love prognosis by @awrkive f s a medical au roommates f2l (90.7k)
⋆ for as long as you can remember, you've always been a hopeless romantic. the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
ever a never after by @yoonia s ft. ksj enchanted au (51.8+k)
⋆ Some say fate can be a cruel thing. Yet you never knew how true it was until fate played a hand in your bad luck. Merely moments before your happily ever after, you are suddenly sent out to a weird place. A different world. You wonder if this is a test from fate to see if you are truly deserving of your happy ending, or if perhaps fate wants to show you something else. Something that fate wishes you to learn before you can finally move on to take the next step towards your happiness.
between takes by @jeonstudios f s a fluffer au porn star au (74.6k)
⋆ as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard
Shatter With Me by @colormepurplex2 f s a surrogate au best friends husband (46.4k)
⋆ Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts f s a college au brother best friend forbidden love (218.5k)
⋆ when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
hold me close by @ahundredtimesover f s a brother best friend (41.8k)
⋆ When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though
sugar high by @yeojaa f a idol au childhood best friends unrequited love (33.3k)
⋆ You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.
the law of attraction by @jexnkookie f s a lawyer jk girl of his dreams (26.9k)
⋆ Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.
love bug by @here4kpopfics f s a established relationship (30.4k)
⋆ A collection of stories and drabbles with my comfort couple Jungkook and Love Bug as I affectionally call her. They were my first couple to write in over a decade and I hold them very close to my heart.
sh by @wwilloww f s a ot7 f2l (118k)
⋆ Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
bloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin f s a s2l soulmates werewolf au royalty au (30.8+)
⋆ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king… and the father of your child.  
jump then fall (into you) by @writtenwhalien f s a bf2l fake dating (52k)
⋆ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
not in that way by @girlygguk f s a ft. myg unrequited love bf2l (30k)
⋆ in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
live through this by @starshapedkookie f s a band au exes to frenemies to lovers (46.5k)
⋆ A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldn’t have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you can’t get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you weren’t sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.
a story that we paint by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft.kth college au scifi au (25k)
⋆ in which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.
crimson park by heartbeatan f s a e2l crime au(159.6k)
angel in the darkness by @icyhobi s a mafia au prostitution au
⋆ after a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named jeon jungkook.
one night stand by @buryhny f s a ceo au e2l (382k)
⋆ as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
the alpha omega series by @borathae f s a childhood best friends to enemies to lovers werewolf au (40.8k)
⋆ Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.
4-7-8 by @jiminrings a marriage au (73k+)
⋆ you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you. alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
netflix & chill by @1kook f s blindate collge au (113.7+)
 ⋆ If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
the bad blind date by ravsisrekt f s a idol au f2l (wattpad)
⋆ Being set up on a date is hard as it is. But being set up on a date where the boy you're with loves your best friend is even harder-and trust me, being bubbly, cute, and incredibly hilarious doesn't work on him either…but on the other members it certainly does.
sns by narcotichobi f s a idol au s2l (wattpad)
⋆ Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds herself through social media outlets and the integration of k-pop into her American life. Jungkook is a twenty year old singer, dancer and producer of the Korean-Pop idol group, BTS (방탄소년단). He works over twelve hours a day and has almost every second of his life circulating around social media. Jungkook, with newly found dating privileges, is slow to trust another person with his personal life and thoughts. Follow Jae and Jungkook through a love-story heavily motivated by social media and press
40 weeks by magicalmochii f s a teeange pregnancy f2l (wattpad)
⋆ They didn't want to be virgins when they graduated. Two friends agree to let go of their innocence together, no strings attached. Life had other plans.
unconditionally by magicalmochii f s a parents au (wattpad) sequel to 40 weeks
⋆ They survived high school and overcame the obstacles that tried to break them apart. Together they adapt to college life and work, all while caring for their new baby. Now, two friends turned lovers prepare for their wedding. Life had other plans. The continuation of 40 Weeks. Bring tissues.
blood ink by pocketbangtan f s a gang au tattoo artist jk (wattpad)
⋆ "That's my tattoo, Y/N, on your body. You know exactly what that means."
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one shot
wait for your love by @/spideyjimin f s a exes2lovers parents (17.3k)
⋆ sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
Inkling by @gguksgalaxy s a f2l tattoo artist jk (17.7k)
⋆Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?
in this paradise by @ressjeon f s a s2l survivor au (16.3k)
⋆ in an attempt to escape what’s been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn’t expect and then there’s you who somehow couldn’t believe to find company in this isolated land. was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
sleepover by @personasintro f s best friends brother (10.4k)
⋆ Jungkook is your best friend’s little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer f s a exes to lovers (4.6k)
⋆ Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
the devil’s change up by @/jungblue f s a coach au (41.3k)
⋆ Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far it’s been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, there’s one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better. 
entertainer by @taegularities f s a s2l (32.4k)
⋆ Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored – that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains… but regret.
habits of a clandestine nature by @alphabetboyluvr s a college au rich jk e2l (16k)
explorer by @/1kook f s alien au s2f2l (17.8k)
⋆ Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning. 
million dollar darling by @kooktrash f s a e2f2l crazy rixh asians inspired (19.7k)
⋆ jeon jungkook is well aware of how privileged he is to have been born into the life he was given. it was glamorous and influential yet close-knit and suffocating, something he thought he wanted to escape from. a trip back home to the circle of wealth and snottiness for his best friend’s million dollar wedding has reminded him of all the reasons why he wanted to leave in the first place… and all the reasons he should stay — the main one being you, the spoiled rich girl he knew was utterly perfect for him.
little surfer girl by @ppersonna f s a summer love suferjk (9.8k)
⋆ every summer you watched jeon jungkook turn into a perfect, professional surfer. every summer, you wanted him more. this summer, you were determined to make him yours.
the whole of your heart by @lcksndkys f s a husband au band au (8k)
⋆ Save a drum, bang a drummer.
sketch by @moonscriptsx f s soulmate au artist jk (9.6k)
⋆ After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to the face — and she's so much more than what he's dreamt of
strings attached (to my heart) by @jungkoode f s spiderkook college au (11.8k)
⋆ You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
it was always you by @/hueseok f s a childhood best friends to lovers (13.2k)
⋆ for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.or at least, that’s what you think.
mio angelo by @/hueseok f s a mafia au established relationship (33.3k)
⋆ it’s no secret to the whole nation how powerful the jeon family was. the efforts of the highly respected don jungsoo was the reason why the name of their clan continues to be a name that people thought greatly of and sometimes even feared. despite your father working alongside with the don, you never truly understood what the family possessed to earn them such acclaim; that is until you got closer to one of his grandsons, jeon jeongguk, that you caught a glimpse of how much power they truly seized as you see it first hand and become a part of it yourself. inspired by the godfather and vincenzo
ultimatum by @parkmuse f s spiderkook (10.3k)
⋆ Your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
melomaniac by @jungkxook f s a band au f2l (13k)
⋆ you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife f s a exes2lovers (18.9k)
⋆ A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.
will it fit? by @jeonsweetpea f s idiots2lovers roommate au (6.7K)
⋆ So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…
pull me down by @starryeyedkoo f a badboy gang college au (22.9k)
⋆ “Do you regret it?” “What?” “Falling in love with me? It feels like I only weigh you down.” “I’ll let you pull me down to the depths of hell if that’s what it means to love you.”
espresso by @joonberriess f s a boxer jk idol oc (14.6k)
⋆ a rowdy boxer and the pretty it-girl he bagged by being him. jungkook’s doing anything to prove he’s serious, even if it means making a fool outta himself.
changes in between by @/taegularities f s a roommates s2f2l (24.7k)
⋆ Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change you’ve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
not my fault by @/taegularities f s college au classmates 2 lovers (12.6k)
⋆ After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you won’t give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later – and it’s truly not your fault that he’s so damn hard to resist.
the secret beneath our stars by @subvk s a college au f2l (13.1k)
⋆ Falling in love with Jeon Jungkook was everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, but maybe it was exactly that: a dream so blissful and comforting that it was too good to be true, something that could all disappear when the night changes to day, and your eyes open again. Or, making a marriage pact with your best friend was supposed to instill a sense of hope for you, so why does this hurt you more than it should?
mature by @/jiminrings f a pining f2l (8k)
⋆ alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
movie goers by @mi55delulu f s a e2f2l (16.4k)
⋆ starting off on the wrong foot with your new neighbor was not on the top of your bucket list, yet you’ve made an enemy of jeon jungkook in less than 24 hours. unlucky for you, he’s not backing down either.
hopless hearts by @cupofteaguk f idol au s2l (17k)
⋆ you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.
dissonance by @/yuzukult f s a rockstar jk student oc (19.4k)
⋆ something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything… but all he’s missing is you.
this is how we break by @ahundredtimesover f s a exes au (20.6k)
⋆ There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isn’t one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if there’s enough of you left to try to get back what you’d lost.
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↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library
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arotheosis · 3 months ago
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Thinking so deeply about Evan basically going "i wanted to live in a magical treehouse with the three of you forever" and the way it made me feel the exact same way as I did when I heard the "everyone will find someone that matters more to them than you" quote out of context from Fantasy High (i still havent even seen it i really need to). It speaks so deeply to me as an aroace person in a way that i cant fully explain. I'm never going to have a family in the way that is expected, and to me it feels so incredibly likely that everyone I know and love will have someone else to go back to, some other better, realer, relationships to fulfill. Having those childish dreams in your highschool years where you're so sure that all of your friends are going to be by your side forever, and that they're always going to be the same people with the same interests (like how Evan placed them all into neat distinct categories of sports and shadows and sparkles and pink) because you're so scared that everything is changing and before you know its going to be gone. And you know that once that's gone for you, you might never find anything like it again, because you're fundamentally different, maybe even fundamentally broken, and maybe that's okay because your friends deserve something you can't really give them.
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lowkeyerror · 2 months ago
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Help With The Curriculum
Agatha Harkness x Reader
Word count: 3.5k
Notes: Professor!Harkness, Professor!Reader, smut, cunnulingus, fingering, dirty talk, thigh riding, pregnancy/breeding kink mentioned, Let me know if there are more
Summary: Both you and Agatha are history professors at university. The students often compare your courses so Agatha attends one of your lectures. She asks you to go to dinner with her, to help her come up with a more engaging curriculum. Just meal between two educators... until it’s not
An: I see a lot of professor Agatha content and I wanted in 🤷‍♀️.
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Professor Harkness was a scary woman. You had heard students mumble about her in the hallways and in your own classroom as well. They’re were often a lot of comparisons between the two of you, considering you were both history professors.
Students who ended up in your course before it filled up, were considered the lucky ones. Anyone else had to take on professor Harkness.
Her approach to teaching was very no-nonsense and straight-forward. Some described her lectures as too complex to follow, her paper to hard to tackle, and her attitude too much to handle.
The way they spoke about her and her course, made you feel like you were doing something wrong. You hadn’t struck fear of failure into your students. It was their money and time that they were wasting if they consistently did poorly, in your opinion.
Agatha and yourself had roughly the same success rate amongst the students. The averages were high and for that you were grateful.
You slowly paced the lecture hall as you spoke. Your voice bounced off the walls, accompanied by the low hums of laptops and the sound of typing.
The class was nearly over, but you wanted to make sure the students were prepared for the upcoming exam, so you made sure to hammer the last few points in.
“Alright, I know it’s a 3-day weekend and you all plan to make the most of it, but you should make some time to study too. When you come back, we’ll review and then the following class will be a test. Have a good weekend everyone.”
With your dismissal, everyone began to gather their things and exit the lecture hall. You head back to your desk and begin to organize some of the students’ papers.
“Your approach is a lot better than they give you credit for.”
You lift your head to meet the voice. Professor Harkness is sat in one of seats, eyes focused on you.
“Professor Harkness, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
She rises from her seat and makes her way over to your desk, “I just had to see you lecture in person. The students talk you know?”
You hum, “What do they say?”
She tilts her head in faux-thought, “Something along the line of you being a much better lecturer than I am and how your class has a better ‘vibe’ than mine.”
You chuckle at her antics, “Well, you started off by saying I deserve more credit for my work.”
Her smile is sly, “You do, because they talk about you like you’re some kind of pushover, but you don’t really come off like that.”
You shrug, “Gossip doesn’t stop in high school. We’re both good educators. Roughly the same results with the students as well. Did you come to just scope me out?”
“I was hoping to talk curriculum with you. I’ve been trying to find something more interesting, that keeps them engaged, but still feels on path with the course?”
You nod along to her words, “Sounds good, do you have anything in mind?”
“Too many to count, if I’m being honest. Maybe we can figure something out together over dinner?”
Your head stops bobbing and you give her your full attention, “Dinner?”
Professor Harkness doubles down, “Dinner. Nothing crazy, just a meal between colleagues. I’ll pick you up at 8.”
You begin to scribble a few words on a piece of paper, then hand the paper to the other professor, “I will see you tonight, Professor Harkness.”
She tucks your address into the pocket of her jacket, “Please, just Agatha.”
“Alright, Agatha, I’ll see you tonight,” her name holds weight on your tongue.
She shines you an award winning smile, “Later Professor L/n.”
Before you can correct her she’s turned her back on you opting to exit the hall. Your eyes linger on her figure as she walks out. It feels like there's an extra pep in her step, a sway in her hips, a happiness that is rarely seen on the woman. The thought that you had that kind of effect on her made you smile a little.
She was an attractive woman. It was the combination of her intellect, her charm, and her appearance. Agatha was a perfect 10 in all of the categories. It was hard not to feel something for her. Having dinner with her might be the best part of the three-day weekend.
With the distraction from Agatha, you couldn't go back to grading papers. Your body has finally caught up to your mind and you began to fluster as you thought about tonight. You already had your last class for the day so you decide to just go home.
Before you settle in too much, you go through your closet, trying to find something to wear. You had no idea, where you were going. It made it hard to pick something to wear. She did say that this was nothing crazy, and you were technically just going to talk about the curriculum, so did you really need to go all out?
You ended up going with something that was simple, but elevated. Once you had your outfit sorted out, you went to get ready. A good shower, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and doing your hair, were all things you did.
It was 8pm sharp when your doorbell rang. You took in a deep breath, shaking the nerves away.
“It’s just dinner,” you mumble to yourself, opening the door.
To your relief Agatha isn’t super dressed up either. She’s wearing clothes that are nice, but casual. A round pair of glasses sit on her face, she looks cute in them.
“You look good,” she says taking in your attire.
“I could say the same to you,” you return the compliment.
“Shall we?”
You step out of your house and the two of you walk side by side to her car. She opens the door for you and you slide in the passenger seat. When she gets in the driver’s seat, she begins to speak.
“Before we go anywhere, I have to ask… are we above going to Chili’s?”
You laugh at her question, “What, are we too old for a triple dipper and $6 margaritas?”
“I don't think I’ll ever be too old for a $6 marg.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
There’s a comfortable silence that envelopes the two of you on the drive. You hum quietly along to the music playing on the radio. You notice Agatha tapping her finger to the beat against the steering wheel.
Your gaze hyper fixates on the details of her hand. There were pronounced veins running along the top, her fingers were slender, and her knuckles were rosy. Her nails seemed to be manicured, but no paint was placed over them.
When you arrive at Chili’s you are surprised to be seated quickly amongst the busy establishment. It was a Friday night leading into a three- day weekend so, the crowd was as large as they expected it to be. Both of you are quick to order a margarita before even looking at the menu.
“So, have you narrowed down any of the choices for the curriculum?”
Agatha seems uncertain as she speaks, “How do you feel about Salem?”
You raise your brow, “Massachusetts?”
Agatha rolls her eyes, but laughs, “Where else, professor?”
“First off, it’s Y/n. Secondly, I was just clarifying. I think Salem is a city filled with history,” you add.
“Is it college-level interesting though? Do you think the students will think it's childish?”
You shake your head, “I’m sure with your teaching style you could make SpongeBob seem like important government documents.”
She laughs, “Be honest, I know you hear students’ gossip, is my course really that much harder than yours?”
You shrug, “Everything is dramatic at their age, I’d have to take a page from your book and sit in on your lecture to see.”
Agatha smiles slyly, “You’re welcome to pop in at any time.”
“Did my lecture seem like a cake walk to you?”
“No, I have a feeling you just sound nicer than I do,” Agatha reveals.
You shake your head, “I think you’re nice.”
She rolls her eyes again, “I’m nice to you, but that’s different.”
You challenge her, “How so?”
The professor seems to fluster a bit, luckily she has a chance to regroup when the waitress comes to take your order. Once she walks away, Agatha thinks she had successfully dodged the question, but you don't let the topic go so suddenly.
“I’m waiting Professor Harkness.”
She scratches the back of her neck, “Well we are colleagues, so it’s a different type of dynamic.”
You hum, “Interesting, but you didn't say you're nice to all the professors, just to me. I don’t mean to assume, but I don’t know if I can say your reputation is only infamous with the student body. I’m pretty sure Professor Lewis is terrified of you.”
“What do you want me to say? You’re easy on the eyes sweetheart.”
You feel your face heat with her words. It’s now you that is sputtering for response, “I- uh-"
“Lucky, we teach history and not English,” Agatha teases you further.
Your mouth opens in shock, “You enjoy seeing me flustered like this?”
Agatha leans back in her seat, “I’m not going to say that I don’t enjoy seeing you flustered. I think it’s adorable.”
You scoff playfully, “So you asked me out just to see me flustered then? Because it seems like you had Salem in mind this whole time. Meaning you just wanted to have some one-on-one time with me, professor.”
Agatha begins to stumble over words like you had moments prior. Her cheeks taking on a light pink shade as you had caught her red handed.
“Would you have agreed otherwise?”
You see her looking at the table. You reach across placing your hand in hers. The movement causes her to meet your gaze. You smile at her sweetly.
“Agatha, I agreed anyway. I had a feeling you didn't need my help, considering you've been doing this longer than I have. I'm sure you could've asked Professor Vidal if you really needed a good opinion.”
“Rio is too annoying to ask. I still would've asked you, even if I wasn't drawn to you.”
You chuckle to yourself, “Drawn to me, huh? I felt your eyes on me the entire lecture. I wonder if you even heard anything I said.”
Agatha bites her lip, “What can I say? Your outfit was distracting professor.”
“Maybe next time we can do something about that,” you say to her suggestively.
“Something like what?”
Your food comes in the middle of the conversation. You pull your hand out of hers to grab a fry. You pop the fry into your mouth.
“Maybe take it off, if it’s such a distraction.”
Agatha's eyes darken, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart.”
You don't fold under her stare, “I don't make threats Agatha, just promises.”
“Do you want to get out of here?”
The question is all it takes for you to quickly pay and get to go boxes for your food. The anticipation only builds once you’re in the car. You can hardly keep yourself from losing control right there.
Agatha drives you to her place. You barely get through the door when she’s shoving your back against it. Her lips on yours. Your hands fall into the dips of her hips, while her’s rest on your face. You kiss her back with fervor. It’s clear to you that she wants to dominate you, but you don’t know if you want her to do that.
You pull away slightly out of breath, “Nice place, professor.”
“The bedroom is the best room in the house,” she returns equally out of breath.
“Show me.”
When you get to the bedroom it’s you pushing her against the wall. Your lips attach to her neck sucking harshly.
“Possessive much?” You can feel the vibration of her throaty chuckle against your lips.
You bite down on her exposed skin before soothing it with your tongue, “Is there someone else marking you up like this?”
Her breath hitches at the tone in your voice, “No.”
“Good, because you’re mine now and I don’t like sharing.”
In a swift motion her shirt is over her head and you’re kissing once again. The feeling of her bare skin against your hands only fuels the passion between you. She’s warm and her skin is soft.
Your hand trails down past the waistband of her pants straight for her cunt. She’s already soaked for you. You groan at the feeling of her wetness on your fingers.
“So ready for me baby.”
She whines for you, “Please, inside.”
“Patience professor, you can't have a body like this and expect me not to want to explore it a bit.”
You pull your hand from her underwear. You opt to kiss the top of her breasts while you unhook her bra. Her hands tangle in your hair. As soon as they’re free, your mouth latches on to one of her nipples.
You suckle them, swirling your tongue around the already stiff bud.
“Teeth baby, I like it a little rough.”
You comply, your teeth scraping the skin eagerly. Biting, marking, claiming her as your own. Her hands fall from your hair to climb up your shirt.
“I need to feel you,” she whispers.
You fumble with your shirt and pull it over your head. You see her eyes dilate as she has a full view of your abdomen. She meets your gaze as to ask for permission. Your response is taking your bra off. She takes a hand full of your breasts and you sigh in relief.
She massages them tenderly. At the same time she guides you to the bed. Your back hits the mattress and she straddles your waist. The way she touches you makes you warm on the insides; it’s addictive.
Your hips buck under her weight. She smiles slyly grinding down against your pants. The feeling is obscured by the fabric in-between and so you become desperate to remove it. You start with the button to her jeans. She stands to pull them off and you shimmy yours off while lying on the bed.
You groan at the sight of Agatha’s dripping core. She tries to climb back on to your waist but you use her arms to move her higher up your body. She doesn’t resist, resting her thighs on either side of your head.
Having a whiff of her arousal makes you lose your composure. You bury your face into her juicy pussy.
“Fuck,” she can’t help but rut against your ravenous tongue. “You look so hot under me, baby. God, I’d give you an A plus in eating me out.”
You grunt against her at the praise. Your arms hook over her thighs, keeping her in place.
“Don’t stop,” she roughly grabs your hair, biting her lip as she chases her high.
You take the new pace in stride. Your lips enclose her clit, sucking harshly, remembering her request to be rough. Your hot breath on her clit mixed with the intense sucking is almost enough to make her cum. It’s when your teeth gnaw experimentally at her clit that she comes undone.
From this angle you can see her pussy clenching around nothing. You can’t help yourself as you stick two fingers inside of her. Slowly you pump in and out of her, relishing in the feeling of her walls around your fingers.
“Can you give me another professor?”
“As many as you want, baby. Keep fucking me all night,” she cries out.
You begin pumping at a sharper tempo. You add a third finger and not long after, she’s cumming again.
Finally you move her back into your lap, sitting up to bombard her with your lips. She needed to taste how sweet she was. You only break the kiss to shove your fingers in her mouth.
She hums, bobbing her head up and down your fingers. The sight alone makes your cunt ache. You realize how soaked you are in that moment. Her mouth is almost just as tight and warm as her cunt.
When your fingers fall from her mouth, you gasp. You don’t have a clue as to when Agatha’s hand had neared your pooling heat, but it did. She pulls your panties to the side easily slipping a finger inside of you. Your head falls on her shoulder and she chuckles.
“All worked up from having my pussy in your mouth, sweetheart? My taste has you this wet.”
You nod against her, “All for you, professor. You taste so sweet.”
“And how do you taste sweetheart?”
She slips the finger was inside of you, into her mouth. Her eyes close at the taste, “Fuck, I need more of you.”
She lays you back with your legs hanging off of the edge of the bed. She kneels on the floor, spreading you further for her. Her finger slips back into you and her mouth begins to leave hot open kisses on your thighs. They pace up your thighs before lapping up the drool that spills out of your cunt as she fingers you.
Your hand reaches to caress her face, “I was looking at your fingers in the car. Long, sharp, dexterous, wondering if they would fill me up good, if they would wrap around my neck, and… fuck you feel so good inside of me Agatha.”
With her fingers still inside you she wraps her free hand around your neck, and comes off of the floor to kiss you. Your mouth vibrates against her’s, the pleasure from her fingers making it impossible for you to be quiet.
Agatha pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. She begins to use her thumb to toy with your clit, unwilling to break eye contact.
“Next time, I’ll let you fuck me with a strap. As fast and hard as you want. I’ll shut up and take it for however long you want, in whatever positions you want. How would you fuck me baby?”
You can feel yourself getting impossibly more wet with each one of her words. Her movements slow as you fail to answer.
You begin to squirm, mewling under her will, “Riding me, I-I want to see you bounce on my cock. Your hair to the side trying to steady yourself when I start fucking into you.”
She positions herself so she could grind against your thigh while fingering you.
“How else?”
You gulp involuntary as she moves her hair to one side of her face, “Standing with your face against the wall and my hand around your neck.”
You watch as Agatha fingers you and you feel yourself falling over the edge. She squeezes your throat a little and your eyes drift to her.
“One more baby, I need one more.”
You tense your thigh for her. You make sure your eyes are hard as you look for her, “ I want you on your knees, teary eyed as I fuck your face. I want to hear you gag on it, and fuck if I could I’d shoot my load down your throat. I’d pull you up from the floor and put you in mating press and pound your pussy. I don’t care how sloppy it would get. I want to cum inside you, fill you up. Fuck Agatha, if I could get you pregnant, I’d keep breeding you until we had enough to fill a lecture hall. I’d hold my cum hostage in your cunt, the only way it’d come out is if I decide to eat it out of you.”
You feel her movements stutter on your thigh as an ungodly moan spills from her mouth. The floodgates open and you feel her squirting all over your thigh. The sight of her squirting on you sent you over the edge. You come hard, arching your back off of her bed. Her arms pull your back fully off the bed, so your head is resting against her chest. Your arms are slightly stronger as the hold her up. Her chin rest on the top of your head. Both of you struggle to catch your breath.
“Can I tell you something?” You mumble against her skin.
“Hmm.”
You close your eyes, “I also want to fuck you in the lecture hall; between classes.”
She shivers in your hold, “You aren’t as innocent as you look.”
“You bring it out of me, professor” you lift your head to meet her with a delicate kiss.
“Are you hungry? I was thinking we could shower, heat the food, and maybe watch a movie,” she plays with your hair as she speaks.
You nod, “That sounds perfect."
You wait a few moments, expecting her to get up, “Uh Agatha.”
“I’ll let you know when I think my legs are ok to move,” she answers the question you didn’t even have to ask.
You laugh at her, unable to hold it in. She smacks your shoulder playfully, but it doesn’t stop you.
This wouldn’t be a one-time thing. There was no way that you were willingly to let the sparks between the two of you die here. You had a feeling that Agatha felt the same. There are many more dates to be had, many more nights to spend together, and many more mind-blowing orgasms to give each other.
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krems-chair · 2 months ago
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I'm always interested in analyses that portray a romanced Solas as a predatory hee hee trickster god manipulating a young and impressionable Lavellan into falling for him and if that's your world state go ahead and live your truth b/c it's frankly none of my business, but I sincerely think there are those who forget that for a lot of people, a romanced Lavellan is (with all due respect to my own Solasmancing Inquisitor Rielle Lavelllan) batshit crazy. Having her boyfriend turn out to be a wolf god is honestly the least of her problems but oh boy is she unafraid to become one to fix this mess.
This is a woman who woke up in a dungeon with a glowing hand, figured out she could fix the world, and thought "fuck it, it's not like I'll have anything else better to do if Corypheus sticks around. Also. Everyone here kind of looks like they want to kill me, so maybe I'll stick with the protective powers that be for a minute." And then all of five seconds later she gets her hand snatched by a sketchy elven apostate who knows exactly what to do with her shiny new powers and cannot stop himself from having a Mr. Darcy level hand-flex after he lets it go (in my heart and soul this happens just out of the camera's gaze) and goes "hmm maybe there's something to be said for this world saving thing."
This is a woman who brought an entire fucking avalanche down on herself and three of her closest friends (and I do mean closest as in physical proximity, she doesn't know these people who are looking at her like she's Thedas' Next Top Idol) because even if it killed her it was the proper middle finger to send to the wannabe god bringing his army tap-dancing down the mountain pass towards her on the one night she had scheduled off to celebrate finally taking a W.
This is a woman going Take 2 Electric Boogaloo on waking up with no idea where she is and learning she was successful in spite-dragging herself up a different fucking mountain in a blizzard. Except now everyone is fighting wait nope now they're Kumbaya-ing a song Andraste's Herald should really probably be familiar with whoops, oh thank God, time for a side convo with the same apostate who's been trying to turn her entire life into a history class only for her to dive in headfirst (much to his initial abject horror) and get that good good discourse she needs since she can't go around arguing with everyone else like she wants to. "The orb is ours." You know what? Of course it is. But if they need the world saved from an elven oopsie, who better to right things than an elf? Fuck it, we ball.
This is a woman who misses being close to nature and goes positively feral at Skyhold, yeeting herself over balconies and banisters and turning the ancient fortress into her personal parkour playground because she's got energy to work off and shit to do, and if the path of least resistance to hunt down everyone she needs to talk to is coincidentally the same path that will absolutely wreck her knees by the time she's sixty, that's just how it has to be.
This is a woman who finds herself back at Haven with a man she's found it possible to be unfetteringly unabashedly herself with and thinks, "hey, maybe there could be more than the flirations we've exchanged over heated discussions and philosophical deep-dives, maybe I can have just one smooch as a treat." And when she feels her slowly unfurling passion reciprocated only to be shut down? She resolves herself to fight for this fledgling love and all the fade tongue that comes with it. This is a woman who gets the tiniest glimpse of what a retirement plan might look like after this whole saving the mortal world thing and buys all the way in.
This is a woman who has Grey Wardens to save from themselves, an empire trying to self-cannibalize, and still finds the time to go rescue a spirit because she, as a fellow comrade caught up in this mess, knows damn well that no innocent deserves to suffer if she can help it while she's got this insane amount of power she never asked for. And if that happens to lead to the man she feels safe enough to nap on the library couches with confessing at last the feelings she knows he's been smothering beneath his all-too-collected surface? Yeah, she'll take that W.
This is a woman who gets absolutely blasted head-over-ass into the fade and goes "honestly things were going a little TOO well." This is a woman who sneaks a peak at the closest fears of the companions she's come to know and love and goes "not on my fucking watch." This is a woman who sees that the man she forces herself to learn the old language for, her vhenan, fears being alone more than anything in the entire knowing world and resolves herself to ensuring it never comes to pass.
This is a woman who gets the opportunity to shape the government of a straight up country and runs around collecting wooden fucking halla in a palace full of elven servants with no time to dwell on that particularly cruel irony because out here it's scheme or be schemed. This a woman who collapses against a balcony railing after putting out some of the sickest literal and metaphorical dance moves The Game has ever seen, resigned to bear her ever-increasing burdens alone, only to find her heart and his horrible horrible hat extending a hand, promising her that if he is not alone, then neither is she.
Like, do you feel me here?
And then he dares to think something as sudden and damning as the truth is enough to keep her away? The queen of tough conversations and tougher choices? No, no, dear readers who have made it this far into my descent into madness.
Inquisitor Lavellan is a master-class in encouraging the odds against her to fuck around and find out. She is a rift-mending false-god-bashing politcally savvy terror upon all of Thedas. Solas (and all of the living breathing world) is lucky she took time out of her busy schedule to notice the way his smile softens when talking about spirits or appreciate the fluidity of his form when they're obliterating venatori out in the field. This man cradled her cheeks in his shaking hands, looked into weary and wide eyes and called her beautiful, and had the audacity to steal her heart before trying to peace out and take it with him.
If she's got to track down a real god this time and frog march him into the fade to reclaim both her heart and the future she fought for because all he wants to do is launch himself like a meteor towards achieving his greatest fear, if she has to spend hours lecturing him on the sheer audacity of his ass while spirits float by and realize they're grateful they never had the chance to take on a body and subject themselves to a verbal lashing this brutal, if she has to do cartwheels around him while dropping all sorts of sweet nothings in the language she is now quite proficient in until he gets it through his luminous gleaming skull that when she said "var lath vir suledin" my girl meant it? Then that's what she's going to do.
"I wish it could, vhenan."
Oh it's going to, buddy. Buckle up to get wrecked, to get absolutely loved and cherished you fool, because Inquisitor Lavellan is not the Dread Wolf's prey, she's his hunter.
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azrielbrainrot · 1 month ago
Text
In the Face of Your Love
Pairing: Azriel x F!Reader
Description: A love confession wasn't in Azriel's plans for the day.
Warnings: a tiny bit of angst
Word Count: 1,3k
Notes: In the face of writer's block I bring you another quick little story (that actually took me entirely too long to write). Hope you enjoy!
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No matter how hard he tried Azriel couldn't remember the last time he had been in this situation. That's not to say he had never been confessed to before of course, that was far from the truth, but he didn't quite remember what to do in such a situation.
It didn't help that you were his friend, and because of it, someone he hadn't ever considered as anything more. If it were anyone else, he would probably be searching for the words to let them down as gently as possible, but looking into your expectant eyes, he can't help but wonder why exactly he had never thought about it before.
You were exceedingly beautiful and kind, remarkably intelligent and hard-working. You took care of your friends and helped them to the best of your abilities, always offering them a shoulder to cry on. Even though you weren't a fighter, Azriel was time and time again reminded of just how strong and fearless you were. You were perfect in his eyes, one of the best people he had ever gotten the pleasure of meeting in his centuries of life. He knew all of this as your friend, so how come he never looked deeper into the connection you shared?
Azriel knew it was partly, or mostly really, because of his lack of luck when it came to such things. Spending centuries in love with the same person, out of habit more than anything, pushing away everyone that threatened to make him feel anything of consequence gave him a long list of detachment issues unsurprisingly, and when he thought he could have something special with the middle Archeron sister after finally moving on from Mor only for it to blow up in his face before it even started, he was forced to take a good look at himself and his actions, and upon realizing that he was in no way ready for a relationship even though he felt desperate for it, Azriel came to conclusion that it was best to focus on his work and his friends, and leave such glittering dreams behind him.
That had been almost a decade ago, before he even met you. For the first time since then, he finds himself thinking of what it would be like to wake up next to someone, share his thoughts and dreams with that person, have someone to hold him through the hard times and take care of them in kind. For the first time in years, Azriel wonders if he could deserve someone's love after all.
His hesitation seems to start weighing on your excitement, pretty eyes moving to watch the ground as a heavy breath escapes you, not bearing the sight of his wide hazel eyes anymore. When you look up at him again a bitter smile is etched on your face, one that makes Azriel’s chest feel heavy and constricted.
“You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know, it felt like it was eating me alive keeping it to myself.” The humorless laugh you let out brings a furrow to his brows, but you keep going before he finds the right words. “I hope I'm not making things weird between us, nothing really has to change-”
“Wait,” Azriel finds himself calling out when he notices you taking a step back, away from him.
Unfortunately he stays quiet a second too long after and you end up taking yet another step back, your next words even more heartbreaking than before. “It's okay, Az. You really don't have to comfort me.”
“I don't want to comfort you.”
“Oh.”
He grabs onto your arm gently when you go to turn around, intent on walking to the door this time, cursing himself when he notices the wetness gathering in your eyelids.
“Please don't go,” he begs, staring into your eyes, hoping his will show you a glimpse at all the emotions swirling around in his heart, maybe you could make better sense of them than him. “I'm not good with words and I'm even worse with my feelings, but I can try to explain myself if you just give me a moment. Please.”
“Alright.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, your body letting go of most of the tension as you watch him. He drops his hold on you and offers you a small, grateful smile.
“You caught me off guard, I never noticed your feelings for me weren't entirely platonic,” he starts carefully, eyes flickering down towards your hand, wondering for a moment if holding it in his would be too much, too unfair to you.
“Some Spymaster,” you tease him back, a breathy chuckle escaping him and releasing the tension from his body, his hand reaching down to hold yours.
“I gave up on love a long time ago, long before I met you. Things have never worked out for me, partly for my own faults, making me think I just wasn't meant for these things.” The frown that settles over your face makes his heart skip a beat. Cute, it was cute, adorable even. Gods, how had he been so blind? “So, you see, I never stopped to wonder if we could have a relationship beyond our friendship even though I cherish your presence in my life immensely.”
“And now?”
“Now I'm thinking back on all our time spent together, the times we laughed and cried together, the times you cared for me and I cared for you.” This time he's the one to move, except he's taking a step closer to you, the distance feeling too big now. “I'm wondering what it would be like to come home to you every day, to hold you in my arms at night, to take you to every restaurant and bakery shop you talked about, to hold your hand in mine whenever I want.” Azriel squeezes your hand softly, your smile widening at the gesture. His other hand reaches for your cheek, cupping it delicately before continuing in a hushed tone, “Now I'm thinking I really want to know what your lips taste like.”
“Az,” you breathe out, eyes falling on his lips. He leans down and pecks your cheek softly, taking a step back to look into your eyes.
“If you still mean what you said…”
“Of course I do.” It's your turn to squeeze his hand, tugging on it to pull him back closer to you, he finds it extremely hard to resist you, but he wants to do things right.
“Then I want to invite you for dinner tonight,” he says, a weight he didn't realize was there before lifting off his chest when you nod immediately. “I think we should take things slow, for both of our sakes, and I don't want to promise you anything, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but I want to try. I want to know what it's like to feel loved and give it back in kind.”
Your face lights up, smiling up at him with an intensity that threatens to blind him. Familiar dark thoughts start swirling in his mind, telling him how he would only snuff it out of you, but he does his best to tamper them down.
Azriel knew he loved you, that much was never up for discussion, and when comparing the love he had for you to the love he held for his brothers or the rest of his family, he can only feel disbelief that he had never questioned it. He would never do anything to hurt you, he would give his life for you without question, and was ready to face his fears and faults head-on if it would make him worthy of being by your side.
“It's a date then?”
He smiles even wider, his face hurting with the unfamiliarity of it, bringing your interlocked hands up to his face and dropping a kiss on the back of your hand, heart fluttering in his chest.
“It's a date.”
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