#maybe im just mentally ill

[hyperfixating-rn-brb]

how am I supposed to be normal when these people are allowed to look like this. just.

g o d d a m n .

I am unwell.

[tamajam]

listen IM JUST SAYING in a game with so many themes surrounding healing from trauma and growing as people and escaping toxic dynamics like,,,, cmon guys getting to get kar'niss out of the absolute's hold would've been soooo cool. especially knowing that he comes from drow society + broken by TWO gods( lolth and thennn the absolute) + drider which u just know he's got like a mountain of trauma underneath all that religious fanaticism. lllllike cmonnnnnnnnn.

[lleclercism]

I’m not gonna lie to you guys i had a super vivid dream of charles overtaking cars until a podium finish

[videntefernandez]

I'm not gonna say "don't reblog yourself a million times" because go ahead and get those notes but holy shit at least space them out a bit

[suckmyskinnyballsmia]

Ugh I wanna cry.

I can’t sleep

And I can’t function

I don’t have a plan for life

Today/yesterday I was fine and got myself out of bed and had a productive day,

But then Wednesday I went into therapy and I was in such a bad headspace that I admitted that I want to d!e.

But I said I don’t wanna d!e I just don’t wanna live like this

But like the thoughts are back. (Never truly left)

And now there more and more.

[hyperfixating-rn-brb]

for a hot second I thought it was a list of quotes from good omens....

powerful.

"Oh."

"Look at me."

"Please.

"Good boy."

"Don't follow me."

"Find me."

"I forgive you."

"Help me."

"No."

"Don't say that."

"Talk about it?"

"Forget me."

"Remember me."

"It's not over."

"Don't ignore me."

"Stay with me."

"I want to believe you."

"For you, always."

"Just... don't."

"There is no us."

"I don't need you."

"Leave me behind."

"Don't bother."

"Fear me."

"Break me."

"I don't care."

"This isn't the end."

"Please hold me."

"I'm right here."

"Wait for me."

"Kiss me."

"Ohh."

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[wickedwitchofthesouth]

Someone please take away my ability to do critical and literary analyses on my favourite fictional characters... I just wanna be happy again

[hyperfixating-rn-brb]

hey Alice Oseman are you inside my head

because I know very few people that can pick out my oldest memories like that and crush me under their heel (in a good way I promise) and I've read the book and I know what's coming and how I'm going to react

but I just watched 3.1 and 3.2 and I am very ahdlaheosnaljeheiekajs

Joe and kit are magical humans and must be protected

[tinygayemo]

I hate the phrase "hurt people hurt people" like oh you've suffered? So has everyone else. Put the damn gun down and quit being a dick Carl

[tatumlikesikea]

100 posts!

[foolishanddumb]

3/12 Midnight with no thoughts

Hello world, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Haven’t written anything since January, and with absolute certainty I can say that nothing has changed. I am still the same idiot waiting for something to come.

But enough of that, I hope you all were able to enjoy February. I haven’t been doing anything, there’s nothing new to say. I sort of just find myself going back and forth between apps because I’m bored, and I don’t know if I want to sleep. I’ve been up thinking, not about much, because there’s not much to think about in my sad life, but I guess about my future. And the uncertainty of it, I’ve made what seems like a vast amount of bad decisions, or at least bad decisions on my end.

I’m just unsure I guess if I can even have a future, I am well aware that the future isn’t always guaranteed, I’ve very much accepted it. But I just need something, some sort of thing that I know for certain about my future, I just need something real to grasp. I just need something I know is real, I’m having doubts I don’t want to have, and I it’s messing with me.

Mainly the fact that I’m uncertain about the people around me, friends basically. I love them to death, I really do, but there’s always that little voice in my head telling me that I’m the problem. I have attachment/abandonment issues, I’ve had friends come and go from my life. And right now I feel so happy with the friends I have that I really don’t want them to leave me, because I fear I won’t be able to get new ones as good as them. I’ve already had a pair of close friends leave me, and it hurts, it fucking hurts because I was always the third one. I’ve come to terms with it honestly but it’s hard to let people go, especially when they’ve been in your life for like 7-8 years. I finally had to let them go, and I’ve accepted it now I guess, but it still hurts like hell.

I honestly feel like I’ve developed trust issues because of it, I’ve had people come into my life for like a year or two, that I would absolutely adore, but then they’d always leave. I stopped trying to make new friends because I know there comes a point where I’ll get too attached and then they’ll leave. I don’t allow myself to get that attached to people, and I don’t know how to feel. Maybe it’s a good thing, I’ll always have a sense of security, but then again I won’t be able to achieve a full sense of what it’s like to be human if I don’t allow it.

I love my friends, I really do.

I guess I really just don’t want to let them go, because I fear they’ll never come back. I guess that’s my biggest fear.

I just want something real, is that bad?

Anyway, enough with my crisis, I hope your early March is going well, I hope the rest of your March goes well, who knows when I’ll write next. Let’s finish today, before making plans for tomorrow. Bye bye.

[rhaenyratargayen]

I’m so overwhelmed with excitement for shadow and bone s2 to the point where I don’t think I can handle it like !!!! all six crows! full shadow and bone crew! I can’t think about it because I’ll pass out

[ganondoodle]

since tumblr always has to suffer my personal vents and breakdowns and rants and annoyances you get the most wips and pics of unfinished stuff, im sure that makes up for it

the (unfinished) shiekah arm concepts that made me want to explode and i dont think im gonna work on again

[suckmyskinnyballsmia]

Guys.

I have come to the conclusion that y’all are in love with me.

I just woke up and decided this (yes ik its 12:42am don’t judge me)

So 💖 I’m the best human y’all love!

Thank you!

(I love yall soooo much) 🥰

Hehe

[astralzeraphias]

“he was mentally ill. this monster was a- was a sick fantasy. a product of his dementia.”

“…i saw it too. does that make me disturbed? demented? does… that make me sick too?”