#maybe ill write a short little thing about this in the future. maybe

[raythefool]

uhh uhhhh more fuckin genloss posting uhhh because im so normal about it :))))

uhhh uhh spoilers for episode three, also

but uh. yeah so. um

au where sneeg literally gets to take like two more steps and lives and doesn’t get absolutely torn apart by funny wire beast and he lives :)))) please :)))))

i will never not be going absolutely mad over the fact that he died RIGHT BESIDE THE EXIT. BRO WAS SO CLOSE GODDAMN LET MY BOY LEAVE !!

i am miserable

(this isn’t a request for someone to make this for me by the way i’m just in the process of going insane, i am talking to no one)

[shegatsby]

Love Thy Enemy

Summary; Y/N Atreides had always been a stranger to the entire galaxy, her bed wasn’t her bed, her home wasn’t her home due to the fact that she was sent to accompany and be sisters with Irulan. She had limited access to her actual family and over the years they grew distant. She thought she would be like Reverend Mother, alone, yet powerful, and soon she would realize that there was no need of being alone when a wild creature had his eyes on her for a long time.

A/N; Hi my little doves, I've missed you, I'm in love with my work lol I really enjoy writing this series so don't forget to share your thoughts with me. Don't worry, there will be SMUT in the future chapters. Sorry for any typos English isn't my first language.

TAG LIST IS OPEN! (Text me if i forgot to tag you little doves 🕊️ ♥️)

Warnings; Violence. Angst. Enemies to lovers. Female Bene Gesserit Reader x Feyd-Rautha,reader is reffered to as she/her.

Words; 2.232K

Chapter Four- ‘’Misery Begins’’

Giedi Prime, House Harkonenn

The air felt heavy in her lungs, the planet was orbiting a black sun, thus, everything outside looked black and white, no wonder these people were raised like animals, planet’s harsh conditions shaped their characteristics. The second she stepped out of the ship she hated every single thing but kept a firm stance.

Now she was settling in the guest quarters, the wedding was to be in 7 days and thankfully Harkonnen traditions says that they, under any circumstance, cannot stay in the same room.

Y/N had few of her personal maids and the rest was Harkonnen servants, all dressed in black with bald heads and pale, thin figures. Y/N noticed the looks she got from them, an outsider…

Inside the fortress one could see colors yet Harkonenns choose to keep it simple, her chambers consisted of a bedroom,  a small living room, and bathroom. Without a word she moved to the velvet armchair which was facing outside, she didn’t want to engage in any conversation with anyone, ‘’Prepare my bath.’’ She ordered without looking at any of them and then moved to the desk in her bedroom to write a letter to her family saying that she landed on the planet safely and everything was fine of course she knew that every letter she would sent was going to be read by Feyd-Rautha’s most trusted politicians, maybe even by himself so she kept the letter short. ‘’Send this to my family.’’ She gave the metal, thin device which was the letter to a servant, ‘’Yes my Lady.’’

After her bath which consisted of warm water and bath oils she brought from home, she smelled fresh and felt better. She was on her desk reading when her door was knocked, ‘’Yes?’’

A servant girl entered, she looked sickly pale and thin, her eyes on the floor, her hands interlaced on her thin stomach, ‘’Na-Baron wishes to dine with you my Lady.’’ It wasn’t a wish, it was an order. ‘’The trip have made me exhausted, please tell Na-Baron that I desire to rest.’’

She noticed the girl’s change of body language, her eyes rose to look at her ladyship pleadingly.  Y/N kindly smiled at the girl, oblivious to what was going to happen, she dismissed the servant girl.

The black sun of Giedi Prime shone bright just like the day before, Y/N decided to do some reading, learn more about the planet’s ecosystem. She had a light breakfast, the air still stingy in her lungs, she didn’t have much appetite.

Y/N Atreides was on her desk, taking notes and reading and her door knocked, ‘’Come in.’’ she was focused on the old books, ‘’My Lady.’’

‘’Yes?’’ she turned to face a man, he was a guard in his dark uniform. ‘’Na-Baron has a gift for you. He insists that you should open it after I am dismissed.’’ A strange request but what wasn’t strange about him anyways?!

Y/N couldn’t read the guard’s expression, his face was a blank slate, however he look more pale than usual skin color, was he ill? ‘’Thank you, place the box on the floor and you may be dismissed.’’ He did what he was told. She stood up and approached to the metal box, there was a strong smell of iron coming from it, it appeared there was no lock, no writings. Just in case, she placed the portable force field on her hand, activated it and tested it, working just fine.

Her hand went to open the metal box and her first reaction was to scream in terror, and her second reaction was to run to her bathroom and throw up her breakfast, shaking uncontrollably, on her knees like a wild animal.

Y/N Atreides didn’t know how many minutes or decades she had spent in that position, finally one of her old maids came for her rescue. ‘’My Lady…’’ she was an old woman with white hair and motherly touch, ‘’It’s okay now..’’ she was rubbing Y/N’s back gently and whispering kind words.  ‘’Is it-‘’ she sobbed, ‘’is it gone?’’

‘’I took care of it my Lady.’’ She helped Y/N stand up and leave the bathroom. The metal box which had the servant girl’s head was gone and yet she could feel her eyes watching her every move. She threw the shield on her hand and marched out of her chambers. There was a solider guarding her chambers, ‘’Where is Na-Baron?’’ she asked trying to control her tone. ‘’He has a meeting with Baron Vladimir and Glossu Rabban.’’

‘’Take me to him.’’ She said, could feel the anger on her chest, so hefty. ‘’But my Lady-‘’

‘’Take me to him.’’ She used the voice on him, the guard, without a word started to guide her to the meeting room. The corridors of the fortress were mostly black, some grey and white here and there, there were guards on watch duties, servants cleaning or carrying stuff. It was so different than the environment she grew up in, in Caladan or Emperor’s planet was vivid and thriving, here it was just… lifeless. She cursed her fate.

There were two guards on the doors of the meeting room, ‘’Open.’’ She used the voice again and the doors were opened slowly, Baron Vladimir was sitting on a metal chair which was placed on marble steps, towering over Glossu Rabban and Feyd-Rautha who were standing and looking up at him, listening to him as if their lives depend on it.. well.. they weren’t wrong. Baron was surprised to see her. ‘’Lady Y/N!’’ he announced which made the boys look at her direction but she refused to look at them, her focus was on Baron. ‘’What a lovely surprise, I hope you quarters to your liking.’’ Y/N bowed in courtesy, ‘’Thank you my Baron, you are the most generous.’’ She had to control her anger and she was doing a good job, keeping things formal. She had to be respectful to the family otherwise her position let alone her life would be at stake, she remembered Feyd’s words; ‘’Try to humiliate me again and see what happens, little dove.’’ The room was barren with only a long marble table and chairs, the curtains were closed and white glowglobes lighting the room, no carpets, no ornaments. ‘’What do we owe the pleasure of your visit?’’ he asked, she could see he was trying to understand her moves. ‘’I must speak with Na-Baron. It is urgent.’’ Finally she turned to face him, even though he was standing far away she could see his body reacting to her words, he was alert and an animalistic shine on his eyes. ‘’Feyd, please escort your wife-to-be to a more secluded area and discuss.’’ His uncle said and Feyd bowed to him quickly, ‘’Yes uncle.’’ And then he turned to her, marching like a soldier, he held her arm and escorted her out of the room, his grip was tight, he made her follow him. Since there were guards and servants everywhere she didn’t dare to utter a word.

Y/N had no idea where they were going, the fortress was a maze and every corridor looked similar. They reached a door, Feyd dismissed the guards and opened the heavy black door. Quite frankly he threw her inside, before she got a chance to look around she spit her venom. ‘’What is wrong with you?!’’ Feyd looked puzzled, ‘’Did you really beheaded that girl just because I refused to dine with you?!’’ she could feel her whole body shake in anger, being in his presence disturbed her equilibrium. ‘’Oh, that.’’ He remembered, his behavior made it worse for her. ‘’Yes, that!’’ He didn’t close the space between them, his hands behind his back. ‘’Did I upset you, little dove?’’ was he mocking her? ‘’Upset?!’’ Y/N couldn’t believe her ears, what happened to that sweet boy she met years ago?

He started to move towards her like a predator, he was much taller than her, towering above her she had to look up to meet his icy blue orbits. Years had turned him into a killing machine, what a shame. She hoped to see remorse in those beautiful eyes but found nothing. Back of his hand found her heated cheek, touching ever so gently, it made one wonder how could he behead an innocent girl and then touch his wife-to-be like a tender lover. ‘’This is what happens when you reject my orders.’’ His voice calm and collective. ‘’I hate you!’’ and she pushed his chest but had no impact so she moved away from his aura. That’s when she noticed that they were in his quarters of the fortress, she remembered the fact that he dismissed the guards, no one to help her if things were to took a turn. ‘’You hate me?’’ he asked, still calm. ‘’What else… do you also fear me?’’

‘’No.’’ she simply answered. His none existent eyebrows rose, his pupils dilated ever so slightly, she noticed how still he was, like a statue. His nostrils flared with a passion she could not placed.

‘’No? So you don’t fear me.’’ He repeated back, folding his arms, he wasn’t angry, only curious. ‘’Not at all?’’

‘’You aren’t allowed to hurt me.’’ Her voice higher than his.

‘’Not allowed?’’ he tilted his head, his voice low and husky, ‘’and how can you be so certain of such?’’ a slight smile pulled at his plump lips, ‘’What makes you so confident in that?’’ he knew his own intentions but he was curios of what went on within her pretty head. There was a certain aura about Y/N that intrigued Feyd, he was watching, listening and studying her.

‘’Let me go back to my home.’’ She whispered, even she didn’t believe herself but that was her intention, to go back and ride her horse, walk in the lush gardens, laugh with her other Bene Gesserit friends. ‘’You assume you have the final word where you go.’’ He chuckled, his voice lower than before. ‘’I decide where you go.’’ His gaze grew sharp like an animal, ‘’I decide what you do. And what I decide..’’ Feyd laughed again, ‘’You’re going to obey.’’

‘’I had a life before you took me, I had a family and friends and, and..’’ she could feel her eyes getting blurry, ‘’And?’’ he insisted, ‘’I had a partner, a lover, and you scared him away!’’ she was practically yelling at this point, female rage taking over her body. ‘’A lover? Don’t make me laugh little girl. If he was so in love with you-‘’ he opened his arms looking around, ‘’where is he? Why isn’t he here defending your honor and saving you from me?!’’ with the mention of Y/N’a former partner Pyramus, Feyd-Rautha wasn’t so calm anymore, he could feel rage rising in his body.  

‘’Because of you! You scared him and he ran! Otherwise he would be here-‘’

‘’Don’t be that stupid Y/N! He wasn’t so scared when I offered him a deal.’’

And with that Y/N was confused, ‘’What deal?’’

Feyd-Rautha was pacing in the room in anger, he couldn’t believe she was still ‘’in love’’ with that low life, waste of space. ‘’I offered him a supply of spice which will outlive him and his children and his children’s children. A generation wealth so to speak.’’

Y/N was shaking her head in rejection, her gaze focused on the floor, ‘’No, no,’’ she whispered, not believing what Feyd was suggesting. ‘’Yes Y/N! Your lover didn’t hesitate a second and took the deal.’’

‘’Then why did he try to escape with me?!’’ she yelled in pain, her heart was torn into pieces, ‘’I wanted you to see how pathetic he was and I staged it.’’ Feyd’s chest heaving with anger and he was so passionate to prove her he was right, he turned to go to the next room and brought back a metal device, he opened it, ‘’Here, he signed the deal.’’ She took it and saw the spice deal written on it, millions of gallons.. and Pyramus’ signature at the bottom…

Feyd grabbed the metal device and threw it on the couch near him, ‘’Not going to lie, you weren’t cheap.’’ And she slapped him.

Feyd-Rautha was slapped by a woman for the first time in his life, he froze for a second, shocked to see how bold she could be. He was even turned on a bit. With both of his hands he grabbed her delicate shoulders tightly, he was much stronger than her. ‘’LET GO OF ME-‘’

Feyd-Rautha didn’t care what she wanted, ‘’I might hurt you physically Y/N, but I would never do that to you. I would never sell what’s mine for something else. Do you hear me?!’’ his voice was rough and irritated her ears, her body was in shock and her shoulders hurting her. ‘’I would never leave what’s mine behind and walk away, I am a man, see me as a man not that little boy you met years ago!’’

Was that a love confession, no it couldn’t be.. someone like Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen couldn’t possibly feel something so pure and innocent, or was it just being possessive and showing her that her life was in his hands till death do them apart. The stress overcame her body, her vision was getting darker and the last thing she saw was Feyd’s pretty eyes.

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Thank you for reading. :)

[mightbeimpossiblenotto]

Dear - Oct 24 - @rosekillermicrofic - 647 words - Warnings: none

Evan felt awful. He’d stayed home sick from work, and his head was pounding and his throat aching. He was miserable, but he was terrible at relaxing, and spent his time responding to the owl post. He’d received a letter from his mother a week ago that he’d neglected to write a response to because he’d run out of parchment. Deciding that while he was ill was just as good a time to write to his mother than any, Evan searched their entire flat for a spare bit of parchment.

He ended up digging in Barty’s old school trunk, of all places. It was sitting in the corner of their dining room, untouched for several years after they’d left Hogwarts. Evan was hoping to find an old scroll sitting in there, but got distracted by all of the things he found along the way. At the very bottom of the trunk, Evan found a letter addressed to him, and curiously opened it.

July 29th, 1978

Dear Evan,

Everything is terrible. Father is breathing down my neck about the future and Mother is practically a ghost haunting us, with how little life is left in her.

I wish I was with you. Everything is better when you’re around.

I miss you terribly. I miss spending every meal by your side, prodding you to eat a little more food because you’re somehow still lanky and thin. I miss the dorm, and I miss crawling into your bed to bug you. I even miss Reg making fun of us.

I think I’m in love with you. I’m not going to send this letter. I just needed to write those words out on paper. I’m in love with you, I love you, I love you. I will always love you. It’s been driving me mad, lately — not the fact that I’m in love with you, but the fact that you don’t know. I wish I could just tell you. I wish we could live together after school, and I wish you would kiss me, and I wish we could spend forever together.

I’ve gotten incredibly soft since falling in love with you. It’s nauseating. I finally understand Reg’s incessant rambling about Potter. I could talk about you for ages.

I suppose I should stop pretending I’m writing to you, if I’m not even going to send the bloody letter. I thought it would help to put it to paper, but I only feel more longing.

Loveyouloveyouloveyou,

B

Evan folded up the short letter, staring at nothing as he processed the words. He’d never received the letter. He’d had no idea that Barty ever had feelings for him. Distantly, he heard Barty’s key click in the lock and the hinges squeaking as the door opened. He didn’t move from his spot, crouched on the floor by the trunk, still holding the unsent letter.

“Honey, I’m home!” Barty called out, as he always did. He stopped when he saw Evan by his trunk, clutching the letter. “What’s—“

“You were in love with me?” Evan blurted, watching Barty carefully. Fear crept across Barty’s face, but he quickly shut it down, his face becoming a mask.

“For the record, I’m still in love with you,” Barty said. “This doesn’t have to change anything, I’ve been in love with you for ages.”

Evan stood slowly on shaky legs, striding over to Barty and cupping his face in his hands. He pulled Barty’s face forward for a brief kiss, nothing more than a press of lips. Afterwards, Evan rested his forehead against Barty’s, both of them breathing the same air.

“‘For the record’,” Evan quoted, “I’ve been in love with you for practically my entire life.”

Barty laughed, the sound giddy and nervous. “Well, maybe I should have sent that letter, then.”

“Yeah, maybe you should have,” Evan agreed, and then surged forward for another kiss.

[presidenthades]

Day 1 of HOTD adventures at New York Comic Con 🎉

First thing I did today was run to my photo op with Matt Smith.

He. Is. DELIGHTFUL.

At these conventions, photo ops go super fast because they have huge lines of people to go through. The whole 10-second process is basically step up to the celebrity, smile, and immediately leave so the next person can go.

Matt is hugely popular so it was definitely important that they hurry through his line, but he was still friendly with everybody in the 5 seconds they were standing beside him. Really great energy. My interaction went something like:

Matt: “Hello, glad you’re here!”

Photographer: snaps photo

Matt: “I love Caraxes! 😃”

Me: “Thank you! 😃”

Handlers: usher me away so the next person can go

You can tell that Matt has done a lot of these fan events, and he’s very good at it.

Since my Matt photo op went faster than expected, I was able to go to an earlier TGC autograph session than I was originally planning. (This proved to be a very good decision later.)

Autograph sessions tend to take a little longer than photo ops, because the celebrity generally will exchange a few words with fans while signing. It’s still considered good etiquette not to hog too much time, or else people behind you have to wait even longer. TGC’s line was not super long when I arrived, so lucky me!

TGC also offered selfies at his booth, which was a pleasant surprise. (Not everyone offers it.) He seemed a bit tired (important note for later), but no judgment: conventions are really hard work. The celebrities are taking photos and signing autographs for hundreds of people over multiple hours.

He was VERY polite and nice. When I took out my bookbind for him to sign, he spent a good minute looking at it and complimenting the cover etc. And when he finished signing, he very neatly arranged the ribbon bookmark to mark the page where he signed.

(He was definitely wowed by Debustee’s art too.)

Fabien was in the booth beside Tom’s. Fabien was announced as attending the convention much later than Tom and Matt, so I hadn’t made plans to get photos or autographs with him. Maybe tomorrow if scheduling works out. 👀

Then I went to my pre-reserved photo op with TGC immediately afterwards (different from the selfie). There were dozens of people in line in front of me, and the photo ops go super fast, so we didn’t have a particularly long interaction. But I managed to get Sunfyre in there.

After a lunch break, I went to get in Matt Smith’s autograph line. He was scheduled from 2:20-7:00 with a few short breaks every so often. When I got in line at 2:00, the line was already HUGE.

I waited in line 3 hours 45 minutes to get my autograph. 🙃😤😮‍💨

HOTD was the main reason I was interested in attending the convention in the first place, so I was prepared to wait in lines to do everything I wanted. But in case anyone was wondering: Matt Smith is indeed very very popular in the year Two Thousand and Twenty Four.

While I was in line for Matt, I heard from other people in line that TGC went home about three hours early. So anyone who hadn’t already gotten their autograph that day needed to get a refund (or maybe a transfer to the next day, I’m not sure). He is still scheduled for autographs tomorrow, but it made me extra glad that I was able to get my autograph early.

I had previously been told to always do photos and autographs ASAP because sometimes the celebrity gets ill or has to leave early, etc. Just a tip for anyone who wants to go to a con and do celebrity interactions in the future!

Back to Matt’s line: I was almost to the front when an event handler announced that Matt was no longer doing quotes. With autographs, there’s of course the actual signature, but sometimes you can add-on things like a quote for the celebrity to write. When I was planning my convention trip months ago, I pre-reserved the quote add-on for Matt. At some point in the last few weeks, they removed the quote option because they realized he would be on a time crunch if he wrote too many quotes. But I’d already paid for and reserved my quote, which the event was supposed to honor even if they changed the process later.

Another woman in line who’d paid for a quote was also upset, and I imagine other people were too. But the event handler came back out and clarified that those of us who already paid for quotes would still get them; they just wouldn’t allow anyone else to get a quote.

Here is the autograph and quote I waited almost four hours for. 🥰

I made an updated version of the Handbook’s dust jacket specifically for the convention. The original dust jacket had my author and fic info on the back flap, but I thought it’d be fun to do one where Daemon gets the author bio.

“War was easier than daughters” is actually a Ned Stark quote, which I borrowed for the Handbook Chapter 11’s title. When you get a quote during an autograph signing, you first write down the quote on a slip of paper. Then you give the paper to the celebrity’s manager and tell them where exactly the celebrity should sign. Matt’s manager was a little confused by the quote but rolled with it.

When Matt read the quote, he said, “Huh, I don’t remember saying that. 🤔😄” But he was very amused and good-natured, and he had no problem writing it down. I was holding little Caraxes again, and Matt was happy to see Caraxes again (although I think Matt may have forgotten he’d already seen Caraxes 7 hours earlier—tons of other fans he was interacting with in the meantime).

I managed to accomplish all my Matt Smith and TGC interactions today, which were my top priorities for this convention. I consider today a success, even though I spent a lot of it waiting in line. Tomorrow morning there will be a HOTD panel, which I have a reservation for, so I’m excited to see Matt, Tom, and Fabien onstage. I don’t think we’re supposed to stream or record the event, but I will try to take notes.

Bonus: a baby dragon and egg that I got at the con! 🐉🐣

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 6

It's my birthday, so here is my gift to all you lovely people :)

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: brief mentions of HYDRA approved "science", insecurities

Word Count: idk ill look later

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5]

Meeting with the contact goes down without a hitch. You’re surrounded by scraggly trees and evergreens, snow heavy on bare branches and pine needles alike. You’re briefed on all the important information: who’s who, ongoing projects, expectations for your work. You nod along as you write down shorthand notes – really only intelligible to you, but you’ll burn them once you memorize the information regardless.

The rendezvous is short, but you’ll be seeing them again soon at your new ‘job’. You flip your notebook closed and dip your head briefly to acknowledge the end of the meeting. Olaf (not his real name) returns the gesture and stalks off, presumably heading back to the HYDRA facility.

You take your time getting back to the house – you want to give Bucky his privacy and time by himself to prepare for the workday ahead. You envy the monotony of working on vehicles all day: scouring the engine, finding the necessary parts, sliding under the metal frame and lying on your back for hours… 

Come to think of it, maybe you shouldn’t imagine lying on your back for hours in the same thought process that involves Bucky. Too many memories and too much pain.

Regardless, anything is better than working for HYDRA, even if you are actively working to sabotage them while you’re there. Yeah, Bucky is here to keep an eye on you and provide backup and know-how, but you’re the one that is pivotal to this mission. The one that needs to get in, get out, and get gone before HYDRA realizes how big of a mess they’re in.

You begin fine-tuning the personality and mannerisms that will serve you best here. Olaf had explained the specific work culture of the HYDRA facility during the meeting, so you’re now better able to imagine your life for the foreseeable future: work, work, work, kidnapping, torture, experiments, exhaustion. 

And going home to Bucky every night, your brain supplies. You mentally swat the words away. Of course you’re going ‘home’ to Bucky. He’s your immediate backup in case something goes wrong – he has to be close. Even if it’s not the intimate kind of close. Not the kind of close you used to be when this mission was first given to you last year. Not the close that originally had you posing as husband and wife, but the kind that now has Bucky as your brother.

A shiver courses through you at the thought, and you wrap your arms tighter around your snuggly bundled self. Bucky as your brother is the worst scenario you could possibly imagine, but everyone agreed that with the new tension between you and Bucky, romance wouldn’t be the wisest play up here.

A soft groan leaves your lips and you dip your head quickly in disappointment before popping back up and looking ahead. There’s no point in yearning for something that will never happen again. You need to actually move on, not just lie about it and pretend like you did. Bucky deserves that much. You deserve that much.

Taking a deep breath, you shift your focus back to the mission. It’s time to embrace the role, leaving behind the echoes of a love that was now confined to memories. You couldn't afford distractions or longing. HYDRA's demise depended on your unwavering commitment, even if it meant burying your heart's desires in the depths of your being.

***

You arrive home a short while later, the creaks and groans of the old house underlying the silence of the empty rooms. It seems that Bucky had left for work while you were out. Glancing over to the clock atop the fireplace mantel, you're taken aback to see how much time has passed. You must have been lost in your thoughts far longer than you had initially realized. 

You close the door softly behind you and shuffle out of your coat. You hang it on a peg beside the door where your and Bucky’s other coats reside, noticing how well the colors reflect both of your personalities. You can’t help but laugh at the blacks, grays, and dark blues of Bucky’s jackets that contrast sharply with the whites, pinks, and pastels of your own. The smile lingers until you kick off your boots and walk further into the quiet house.

The echoing silence pulses in your ears and makes you uncomfortable. You hadn’t been alone like this in a very long time – there was always at least one person in the next room or house or building that you could reach out to. But with Bucky at his ��new job’ and no neighbors knocking on the door to welcome you to the neighborhood, you feel totally isolated.

With nothing else to do besides wallow in loneliness, you decide to throw on some music and dive into all the information the team has gathered on this HYDRA location. You’d skimmed the files on the way here yesterday, but now you had the time to really peruse. You run upstairs to change into comfortable clothes and throw your hair up and away from your face. You return downstairs and pull out your laptop, setting up camp at the kitchen table. You open your favorite music streaming app and hit play, starting up your ‘get shit done’ playlist. You bop your head to the beat and dig in.

***

Hours later, you hear the door creak open and Bucky steps inside, his face smudged with grease and a tired smile on his lips. You rise from your hunched position and stretch your aching muscles. The pain in your upper back and neck eases slightly as you greet him, "Hey, Bucky. Welcome back. How was your day at the garage?"

Bucky wipes his hands on a rag, glancing at you with a mix of exhaustion and genuine warmth. "Oh, you know, the usual. Fixing engines, tinkering with parts. It's a nice change of pace from our usual gigs."

You nod, attempting to keep the conversation light. "Well, at least you get to put your mechanical skills to good use. It must feel good to work with your hands again."

A brief moment of silence hangs between you as you both glance down to Bucky’s hands. His metal arm is covered by Stark tech that makes it appear as if he’d never lost it in the first place. You can tell how uncomfortable he is with the sight after working so hard and so long on learning to accept himself the way he is now. He picks at the fake skin, pulling it slightly away and letting it snap back into place. Bucky clears his throat, his voice a touch hesitant, "It doesn’t quite feel right, ya know?"

You shift in your chair, tucking your leg up under you. "No, I get it, Bucky," you say. “Doesn’t feel like you, does it?” You give him a smile and a small shrug of your shoulders, as if what you’re saying is common knowledge and an opinion that everyone shares, “If you ask me, I prefer the metal.”

Bucky's eyes soften and he stops fidgeting with the skin, letting his arms drop down to his sides. “Yeah,” he agrees, “me too.”

You nod, trying to hide the warmth swelling in your chest. "Anyway," you begin. “I’ve been going over the data that you guys have gathered in the last few months. There’s a lot here, huh?”

“Yeah.” Bucky sighs and walks over to you, taking the chair opposite and stretching out his legs underneath the table. His feet encroach on your space and nearly rest underneath your chair, the table not really accommodating for his size. You pick up the one leg you still have dangling off the chair and tuck it under you with the other one. Bucky places his hands behind his head and leans back. “All of my memories of this place are hazy, but this place was a real piece of work.” A grimace mars his face and his eyes start to cloud over.

Wanting to shift the conversation away from the discomfort he may be remembering, you change the subject, "So, did anything noteworthy happen at the garage today? Any signs of HYDRA activity in the town?"

Bucky's eyes shift with a sense of purpose, grateful for the chance to discuss something less complicated. "Actually, there was something unusual. I overheard a couple of guys mentioning some military-grade vehicles arriving tomorrow for inspection. Might be worth investigating to see if they’re HYDRA."

As you delve into mission-related details, a sense of normalcy descends upon the conversation. The awkwardness and unspoken emotions linger in the background of your mind, but for now, the focus is on the task at hand. You understand that the mission takes precedence over personal matters, and you commit again to putting aside your feelings for the sake of success and Bucky’s peace of mind.

With a renewed determination, you delve into strategizing and planning, resolute in your shared mission to dismantle HYDRA's operations. 

Part 7

@jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshine @happinessinthebeing @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283

[theboywithburninghands]

Is it possible to write a Funnybunny/Buttonblossom story without Pomni? I dunno, but I just did. Anyway, this one is a little on the short side, but it took a complete 180 from where I was originally going with it. And I think the result is good, one of the better things I’ve written… That said, it is a little bit on the heavier side. So I’ll drop a small content warning just in case, but really it shouldn’t be any rougher than your average romance movie. Hope you enjoy!

Young and Dumb

t/w: angst, relationship drama

Another day came to an end. The adventure, forgettable. Somewhat unpleasant, but nobody died or got maimed. Dinner was fine, digital spaghetti and meatballs. The performers said their goodbyes and headed off to bed. With the exception of two.

Ragatha left the tent, holding Layla, the music-playing microphone beetle that Kinger picked up from a few adventures ago. It was Ragatha’s turn with her, and the doll-woman wanted to savor the opportunity. She walked a long way to her favorite retreat; a copse (Dark Souls II taught her that word) far in the back of the woods by the Digital Lake. She didn’t love the woods on account of her fear of bugs with too many legs, but there were so few places to be well and truly by herself around here. It was like what Kierkegaard said. There can’t be joy without risk.

Or… maybe that was faith without risk. Who the hell was Kierkegaard anyway..? Eh.

She came to her small thicket, or “copse.” It was distinguishable from the rest of the woods by the mossy boulder in the middle of it, softly illuminated by the digital starlight. Ragatha spent many evenings sitting on that boulder. Sometimes she cried for hours. Sometimes she screamed in rage until her voice was completely dried up. Sometimes she just laid on the boulder and stared at the sky. Once she laid there until dawn.

She first checked the rock for any insects, before sitting cross-legged on it, smoothing out her dress. She placed Layla down on her lap, the microphone-beetle looking up at her expectantly.

Ragatha: Layla, play… Into the Great Wide Open by Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers.

Layla nodded and began to play a heartland rock song. Ragatha closed her eye and let the music take her away. Hardly even realizing it, she began to sing along.

Ragatha: “Eddie waited ‘til he finished high school

He went to Hollywood, got a tattoo

He met a girl out there with a tattoo too

The future was wiiiide open…”

Jax: You’re kinda flat, Dollface.

Ragatha opened her eye and turned about on the boulder. Jax was leaning against a tree, his eyes also closed, with his hands tucked behind his head. Ragatha rolled her eye and tapped a hand to her lips.

Ragatha: Shh. Listen for a second.

The two of them remained quiet as Layla played Ragatha’s selected song. Ragatha swayed in time with the music, relishing every last note, before it concluded about three minutes later. She then smirked at Jax.

Ragatha: Ill met by moonlight, proud Jax.

Jax: What’d you say?

Ragatha: It’s from Shakespeare. What’s up? If you’re here to put a centipede down my dress again, you might as well get it over with.

Jax: Nah. It’s way funnier when you’re not expecting it. Can I join you? *points to the boulder*

Ragatha: Sure.

Ragatha scooted over as Jax strutted to the rock, sitting down and crossing a leg over one knee. There was a moment of somewhat awkward silence before Jax spoke up.

Jax: New kid is adjusting pretty well.

Ragatha: Mmm. She’s definitely a fighter. At least in an emotional way.

Jax: Think she’ll outlast us?

Ragatha: Come on, Jax, you know I don’t like thinking about who’s gonna abstract next. Hopefully nobody.

Jax: That’ll be the day.

Ragatha: …Well, I know for a fact it’s harder to completely give up hope when you have feelings for someone.

Jax shot Ragatha a look, who met it with a small, confident smile. The rabbit sighed and rolled his eyes. He balled his fists for a moment before unclenching them.

Jax: …Did she have fun?

Ragatha: Huh?

Jax: At the theme park. With Pomni. Did you have fun?

Ragatha: …Yeah. I did. It’s the same old rides, but… it’s a whole different experience having someone to share it with. To see react to stuff, y’know?

Jax: Did you two make out~?

Ragatha: Ugh, don’t be a creep.

Jax made some obnoxious kissing sound effects.

Ragatha: You know, I could ask you the same thing! Did you make out with her?

Jax: *immediately* Yeah.

Ragatha: Wh- *blushes* Oh. Uh. Hm. Wait, you can kiss people? Do you even have lips?

Jax: Huh? What are you talkin’ about?

Ragatha: No, I’m just thinking about the logistics of the whole situation, does she like… kiss you on the teeth?

Jax: I got lips, genius. *closes his mouth around his teeth*

Ragatha: Yeah but can you pucker them? Or do you just sort of… bump your lips against hers?

Jax: You’re reaaaally into my kissing techniques there, Dollface. There something you’re not telling me?

Ragatha: Dream on.

Jax: More like “have nightmares.”

Ragatha: Ha! Even if I were to kiss you, which I won’t, I think you’d find it perfectly acceptable at the very worst.

Jax: At the very best. At the very best I find it acceptable. At the very worst, I might puke in your mouth.

Ragatha: Jax! Blech… *sticks out her tongue* You always take it too far…

Jax: You all just don’t take it far enough...

Ragatha: Oh whatever. It makes me happy you’re enjoying your time with Pomni.

Jax: Why wouldn’t I? She’s… she’s alright. *he blushes faintly*

Ragatha: Yeah. She is alright. I’m really proud of you.

There’s a prolonged silence.

Jax: What?

Ragatha: I said that I’m proud of you.

Jax: You’re… “proud of me?”

Ragatha: Yeah. You’ve come a l-

Jax: What do you mean you’re proud of me, proud of me for what?

Ragatha: For-For finding someone that helps you get through the days, you know? It's hard to keep going.

Jax: That wasn’t what you were going to say. You said “I’ve come a long way.”

Ragatha: Oh. Well… I dunno. I can tell you’re softening up a little.

Jax: Huh?

Ragatha: I mean, Pomni is good for you. You’re not nearly as… well, as much of a jerk as you were before. Sometimes you need someone in your life that grounds you.

Jax: So what’s she doing for you?

Ragatha: What do you mean?

Jax: Well she makes me less of a jerk. What does she do to help your personality, huh? Or do you not need to change anything?

Ragatha: Hey now, I wasn’t saying anything like that.

Jax: But you get to be “proud” because the new girl makes me better? Like you got nothing to fix or already have romance figured out.

Ragatha: Jax, it’s a compliment!

Jax: Alright, look. *he stands up* I’ll let you kiss Pomni, but you don’t get to talk to me like I’m your baby brother.

Ragatha: Sorry, you'll let me kiss Pomni? And I mean, I am eight years older than you…

Jax: Oh so you do think I’m a kid, nice.

Ragatha: Jax, you know I didn’t mean it like that-

Jax: Amazing. It’s not enough you get to treat me like a child, you get to come into my relatio- my, my- you get to come into my life and take my girlf- *the words catch in his throat and he stops*

Ragatha: What..? *she stands up* Jax, where is this coming from? You told me you were okay with sharing!

Jax: Yeah, well… maybe I’m not so much.

Ragatha: You... Pomni said-

Jax: I know what I told Pomni! I told her…

There's another lengthy pause

Jax: I told her what she wanted to hear!

Ragatha: You…

Jax: She was freaking out over liking you, so I just bit the bullet and told her it was fine so she wouldn't flip out. I thought I could deal with it… But you know what? I can’t! It hurts just a liiittle bit to have someone you… the… the first person who you ever really cared about in this dump just up and decide that you’re not good enough for them and go find someone else! Especially if your replacement is some condescending knock-off!

Jax poked her hard in the left shoulder, and Ragatha slapped his hand away instinctively.

Ragatha: Jax, stop it!

Jax: No, no, you know what? Keep her! I’m just a dumb kid, right?! It’s pretty d@#& clear I’m not cutting it anymore! I hope you two have fun! I’m better off alone!

Layla piped up with a peppy late nineties techno beat upon hearing Jax’s words. The corner of the rabbit’s mouth twitched with rage.

Jax: Oh you think you’re funny..?

Ragatha: Jax, she doesn’t know any better-

Before Ragatha knew it, Jax had his hands around the beetle, who gave a squeal of feedback at being grabbed so tightly.

Jax: You little-!

The rabbit reared back

Ragatha: NO JAX DON’T!

Jax threw Layla hard into the woods, the tiny creature rocketing into the treeline. Ragatha gasped and ran after Layla, falling to her knees and palming around in the tall grass for her. She eventually felt a small round body and pulled it free from the leaves of grass.

Ragatha: Layla, are you okay? You didn’t hit a tree did you?!

Layla’s eyes twirled in circles before she blinked the confusion away and shook her head “no.”

Ragatha: *gives a long sigh of relief* Jax! Why would you-

Upon turning around, the rabbit was nowhere to be found.

Ragatha: Jax?

——

Jax made it to the edge of the forest. He panted and grabbed the sides of his head. His chest hurt. Shame and fury and guilt grappled in his stomach like a knot of snakes.

Jax: It’s late. I should… I should sleep.

He said this aloud to himself, a pitiful attempt to calm his emotions like twisting the cap back on a bottle of soda that was about to erupt with fizz. He just wanted to go back to his room. So he started walking.

His throat hurt. He kept walking. His vision became blurry. He kept walking. His cheeks were getting wet. He kept walking. His breathing hitched. He stopped walking. He fell into a squat. He got back up. He walked to the lake shore and sat.

He cried. For the first time in years, he cried.

And he cried.

And he cried.

[nymphbroadcast]

𝙏𝙪𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙉𝙮𝙢𝙥𝙝 𝘽𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩!

✦ Welcome to my Radio Show! You can call me Nymph!

✦ This is a small presentation about the content of my Blog, Come in and enjoy, if you want to always leave comments with respect!

About my writes:

Currently I write Scenarios, Headcanons and small Incorrect quotes.

All of 1 or 2 characters per Reader, they can be platonic or romantic.

I also write: Fluff, Romantic and Spicy, I don't write Angst for the sake of my mental health :'/.

I DO NOT write: Z**philia, Ped*philia, Inc*st, N*cr*philia, Too Explicit Vi*lence, nor do I accept "Kinks" that are disgusting.

ALL characters who are minor in their original works, in my writings "Spicy" and others will be over 18 years, there will always be a warning.

Fandoms I write for:

Boku no Hero Academia.

Twisted Wonderland.

Genshin Impact.

Hazbin Hotel.

Poppy Playtime.

Kakegurui.

Five Nights at Freddy's.

Chainsawman.

My Little Pony.

And many others like movies or series...

RULES FOR A REQUEST:

Be polite and patient if I don't respond, I will eventually.

If you are a mentally ill person who requests writings of the aforementioned (On things I DO NOT WRITE) be warned that you will be blocked and reported.

Always be respectful of other people's requests, as well as those who are not.

If you are a minor, you enter my writings at your own risk.

I don't write Angst because it makes me emotionally depressed, I'm sorry.

I don't write any kind of canon character x canon character, just Reader or OC x Character, usually Fem Reader type.

DO NOT REPOST OR STEAL, ONLY REPOST WITH CREDITS!!!

Additional:

I'm also an "Artist" so you'll probably see me posting fanart or OC content here. (And my ig account)

Maybe in the future I will do writing or drawing commissions!

I'm in my last year of high school, so my free time is VERY short, but I promise to write as much as I can!

I'm a Woman/Female, so don't worry if you are embarrassed to ask me for anything! ♡

Remember to tune in, end of this broadcast!

[ereyies]

i love your of mice and men oc. let me tell you i was scrolling thru the omam tag after reading that book for class because GOSH that ending destroyed me. bronwyn is so cute!!! and i love the ideas you have for her character and how she’d add onto the book. is there any more of your character that u thought of?? i’d love it hear it! ur art is stunning btw!!!

artists and writers are the backbone of dead fandoms. but i dont know if you could even call this fandom dead cuz i dont think it even had a life 💀

THANK YOU SO INCREDIBLY MUCH!!

this means the entire world to me you have no idea just how touched i am that you love my oc 💖 💖!! be VERY careful going through the of mice and men tag because unfortunately there are a LOT of nsfw bots!!

as for anything else relating to Bronwyn and her character, I don't have much else written/in mind other than that I have already shared other than maybe two things (copied and pasted from a document i made just to keep track of her lore):

Candy and Bronwyn probably wouldn't be close despite Candy having worked at the ranch for years. Not because of anything bad that happened between them, however I imagine that Candy was initially the main contributor to all the gossip said about her on the ranch and later on he learned she wasn't a bad person at all and just a lonely ill child, but by that point he had both immortalised her as a legend but condemned her from ever making real connections with people again. Knowing what he started and how he unintentionally isolated her and prevented her from being easily able to make friends with people on the ranch, the guilt would probably prevent him from forming any close connections with her.

I feel like if she were actually a character within the novel, her presence within the story would be similar to Andrey Bolkonsky in the musical Natasha, Pierre, & the Great Comet of 1812 (brilliant but strange musical btw, if you're interested in musicals it's definitely worth a listen!!). She is this looming presence amongst all the characters, always being mentioned in passing during conversation, this figure that everyone is aware of yet never sees, never actually being present in person up until the very end.

Candy would probably be the reader's introduction to Bronwyn, since Candy is a known gossiper. She'd be this influence in the story but is never truly there. I'm not too sure how she'd be important if that were the case though? Perhaps she'd be a figure symbolic of a 'point of no return' for all the characters. They all have a dream that isn't totally impossible which they come very close to achieving, and could very well leave their situation, but Bronwyn never had a chance and can never truly escape, locked up just to be forgotten about. Maybe she'd be a warning of the terrible fate which Lennie would have faced if he had lived and been institutionalised.

ANYWAYS moving past all of that; i have only made very few drawings of Bronwyn since my last post talking about her (admittedly due to extreme art block). But I’ve mostly been brainstorming about Curley and Bronwyn, the similarities and differences between them, mostly differences. Here is some of my recent art:

I always love experimenting and playing around with my style, trying out new brushes, techniques and colours <33 The last isn’t exactly my favourite mostly because i was just getting a feel for how to draw Curley and had little to no references for the pose and so it looks a little stiff. But!! I made many notes for my ideas while I was doing the sketch:

Thank you once more for your ask!! It means the world to me <33 I was so embarrassed when I first made her and feared being called ‘cringe’ or that people wouldn’t like her or something else along those lines, but the reception so far has been nothing but positive and encouraging!! I definitely plan to make more art and potentially even write some short fanfics including her in the future!!

oh one final thing, i also made a spotify playlist for her!! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0qrBhwqopc6KrC7RouFxOZ?si=GPudTv12S92QwBBXqxw0Bg&pi=khdpmOzjTfeQP

Thank you once more for being so kind <33 I hope you have the most wonderful day/evening/night!!

[warsamongthestars]

... How come the moment we got lady clones, they're both... treated so shallowly?

Well, its more complex than that.

Omega isn't a shallow character. In fact, she's probably one of the better child characters, and as a stand alone, I do generally like her. She reminds me of a hatched duckling, all yellow hair puffed out everywhere and following bigger ducks.

But the narrator / narrative of the story keeps bending itself around her, robbing agency or relevance of other characters to ensure that Omega comes out as the Untouched Hero (Down right Messiah) in all things. Literally stealing away the relevance of Main Character Deaths and entire Stories symbolism and impacts, just to ensure she stays the Main Hero.

( I've got two internal stories on this, that help me... handle things about her, that don't involve rewriting the entire story. One, deals in a kind of "Steven Universe Future" gig--where it turns out, instead of heading to the Rebellion, Omega was leaving at night to go find somewhere to just, rest for the rest of her life like a burnt out gifted child. Pushed too far to the brink by uncommunicative and militant brothers who spent significant moments of her life doing wrong by her through bad decision making. The Rebellion is just the easiest excuse to tell the others and Hunter. ) ( Two, that someone actually tells her about how the strings of those around her were pulled in order to ensure her importance. Crosshair and Tech were sacrificed to ensure her safety. Hunter's entire personality changed to a 180, to ensure she always had a Guardian. And now that she's an adult, the programming is at such a point that, her surviving brothers probably don't have much left of themselves to go back to, even if it was halted. )

But at the end of it, this was shallow writing. It destroyed entire ideas given by The Clone Wars, to overemphasize or even create Omega as an idea.

The other is Emerie Karr. Supposedly important, but just, given the opposite of Omega's treatment. Emerie is wholey unimportant. Her role can be given to anyone. Her arc makes no sense with the context the show already provides, more so if you're coming outta the Clone Wars. The themes the show already fails to push, is emphasized further by her rather rushed and ill-considered writing.

I don't see fanart or fanfic of this character. Because she is a worse cardboard cutout than Hunter, and doesn't stick.

One could argue that there's Lore as to Why she's like this--but I can use the same Lore to argue that she, as a conceptual character, should not only Not exist with the context provided, half the story shouldn't exist either.

The only reason she even sticks in my mind, is because my variant of Emerie Karr uses stronger writing and strong characters from outside of TBBshow, to supplement the idea behind her.

( ... So imagine a Good Guy variation of Albert Wesker from Resident Evil--so cool tones and cool aesthetic and monologue like, but instead, is facing off the bad guys instead of being a bad guy. Maybe a little bit of Steven Universe's Sapphire too. Add some cool ass Star Wars aesthetic sunglasses... )

But as a stand alone, by the standards of TBBshow... she doesn't... do anything. Nothing that couldn't be argued that another character, who has had 3 years, could do.

And even I will point out that she's meant to be a Tech clone / replacement. ( Which I would scream in rage about. They gave Tech up... to give us this cardboard repeat of a shock-surprise-twist. )

Its just...

How come, the two most significant / insignificant ladies of TBBshow, conceptually, end up with just as much of a short fucking stick as the rest of the characters?

[fictionfixations]

genderfluid (& androgynous)

someone called riddle genderfluid and now i cant unsee it

(imagine its a fem day. and he just sits there with a skirt. and radiating dom energy. my minds too stuck on bamf ladies. also you dont have to wear a skirt if you dont wanna, i just like em. but uh. its like a superiority thing. (bruh imagine someone bumps into them- or.. wHATEVER pronoun. uh. fuck. i said them for riddle cause im too used to he/they characters. wtf pronouns do i use for him??? uhm. but so someone bumps into riddle. and then they just blurt out 'pls step on me'. and hes like wha? [cuz he comes off strict and intimidating, but hes also sometimes clueless/oblivious, poor sheltered bby] and then they eep and run away hehehehe ...imagine he asks cater what that meant [because cater knows a lot of weird stuff]. cater spits out his tea like WHAT. HUH? actually LMFAO- 'i never expected to hear those words come out of riddles mouth! and he said it so straight-faced too!')

..i have a hunch you probably thought id put 'step on me mommy' but

im. kind of not a fan of the sexualization of those words cause now i can never unsee it when its just an innocent version

i feel like.. riddle has a lot of problems with his mom. one including not wanting to be too similar to her, or being compared to her (and regretting that he'd basically become a mini-her for awhile there, although in more serious words)

(also how do genderfluid people do pronouns?? [i have no gender so i dont get it] ive seen in some writing they use like. she/her on a she/her day. or he/him on a he/him day. but could you also just... stay to another pronoun too? i mean. theres probably she/they and he/they that works there. she/he does too. ..is it she/he? or is it she/him? probably she/he. idfk. i mean. i have a bias towards he/they. but like. if you're leaning more towards feminine.. do you match feminine pronouns too or is it just based on how you're feeling and it can really just go either way??? i kind of want to write a genderfluid riddle in a purely self-indulgent way. but i dont know what to do about the pronouns or if i should change them)

anyway

maybe thats my bad cause i like referring to him as a queen instead of a king (HE WEARS HEELS TOO. we love a short king. LMFAO)

(he wears heels because the queen and the first heartslabyul housewarden wore them. and his uniform is modeled after the first heartslabyul housewarden. this is iirc mentioned in his halloween vignette)

this is future me

he could definitely just be androgynous too and not afraid to use it

like

okay

spoilers for a JP card but

here. (a card i desperately want in the future, even though ill probably never actually use him)

which since we're here. vil. with his androgynous energy. who is also referred to as a queen. .........

honestly. i dont think he really cares that much about either way? or. that. i think im wording that wrong

like.. wearing dresses or suits, i dont think it makes a difference to him. for 1, he knows he rocks it. 2, assigning things to 'female' and 'male' and then saying the other cant wear things the opposite does is dumb (i still refer to them as feminine or masculine to differentiate them, my issue with it is then restricting it)

so he just. sometimes

to prove a point, wears short hair (or something that leans a little more towards masculine-y) with dresses

actually he kind of does that already

its just a coincidence LMFAO

i think its just more to fit the occasion

cause in this his hair is tied up

also damn this mfs pretty

anyway i think thats enough vil LMFAO

i got so off topic

[j0kers-light]

I am not sure if your requests are open but was wondering if you would do a smut one-shot where y/n and joker dress up like their getting married maybe it's y/ns weird fetish or jokers but it is one of thems idea that's up to you

[Most importantly hope you don't mind this but the joker isn't wearing any makeup in this]

Ps. Love his lighthouse love it

His Lighthouse: A White Future (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

A White Future - Oneshot

KEEP IN MIND THIS IS NOT A STORY UPDATE!

Hey hi @jokerslittlepage 🖤✨

Please excuse me for taking so long in writing this! This one was tricky to write I'm not gonna lie… I feel like Joker is a little OOC in it since I mostly head canon his against marriage but hey. I did what needed to be done. Please don’t hate me!! 🥹🥹 and at this point Joker rarely wears his clown makeup around Y/n so you’re all good beloved!

Enjoy as I post this in the dark at 1AM!

— Oh and this is definitely not possibly canon with His Lighthouse. You'll understand after reading lol 🤭

Also I'm kinda feeling this song playing in the background as Joker and Y/n dance on the balcony. Its soft and gentle enough yet angst for this ill fated couple 😘

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll @motivation-idontknowher

Wanna be included in the His Lighthouse journey? Join the taglist!

Joker blamed you for this.

You unlocked another one of his weird fetishes that he never would have known existed, all completely by accident.

You were cleaning out the closet in the guest bedroom and trying on things to see if they still fit. If it didn't, you were donating it.

Joker had returned from a late night meeting at the main hideout and was relaxing on the bed, still dressed in this three piece suit. This one was all black, giving off mafia vibes, especially since he proudly wore the gold chain you bought him around his neck.

Your initials were on a small charm hanging from it. It was a subtle way for Joker to acknowledge his girl; he never took it off.

Joker washed his clown makeup off in the bathroom and was content watching the strip tease and mini fashion show you were putting on. So far he kept his hands to himself.

No surprise Joker was a great judge with his killer fashion sense. He was honest about the things you tried on.

"It's a no for meee."

"Wait, Bunny! Keep that one. It makes your hips look... mmm. C'mere pretty thing.."

"I dunno.. bell bottoms are making a uhhh comeback. I like the color, doll."

"Don't even try that on. Toss it."

"Y/n, what possessed you to buy that?"

Rude comments and all, you were making progress with Joker's help! You had almost everything cleared out and ready to either return back into the closet or in bins for charity, that is, until you squealed and dug out a white garment bag.

"I forgot about this!" You laid the bag out on the nearby couch and unzipped it.

Joker lifted his head at the sound and watched you eagerly lift up a dress. From here it looked cream or was it white? He spoke up to ask. "What's that, bunny?"

He missed your megawatt smile. "One of my fans invited me to her all white wedding before you and I met. She asked me to be her bridesmaid and I totally forgot I kept the dress!"

You held it up to your body and faced the mirror. She was so happy you made it and they were such a beautiful couple. You were glad you made her day even more special by being there. You smiled while reminiscing fond memories.

You turned just enough for J to finally see that garment in its entirety and his brain swiftly short circuited.

"Put it on."

You turned towards Joker. "Huh?"

He had this hazy look in his eyes as he watched you stand before the mirror. The urge to see you in white struck him hard and fast. He didn't know why.

"I said.. Put. It. On."

You knew that tone very well and scrambled to do what Joker said before he lost patience.

You took off your bra and shimmied into the cool satin material. The panty line was too harsh in the white fabric so without thinking, you peeled off your panties and tossed them aside.

Joker swallowed audibly watching them go. He liked that pair very much. However they looked better on the floor.

"Can you zip and button me up?" You held the front of the dress up to your breasts and moved your hair back for him.

Joker took in a shaky breath. The dress wasn't even on properly and he was already having impure thoughts. The ivory color against your darker skin just made it pop even more. You tried on countless articles of clothing tonight but this was the icing on the cake. He stood up from the bed and walked over to you.

His green eyes met your e/c ones in the mirror before you looked away, hiding your flushed cheeks. For once he didn't comment on your skittish behavior.

He reached out and pulled the zipper up, letting his fingers brush against your skin like a feather.

The intimate gesture sent shivers down your spine.

Joker was so close you could feel his body heat on your exposed skin and his hands were like a branding iron buttoning the two pearls at your neck. When he was done, Joker rested his hands on your shoulder and spoke to your reflection.

"You ahhh need heels." He whispered on your neck.

You didn't understand where he was going with this. You weren't trying on full outfits, just the clothing itself.

Joker rolled his eyes when you didn't move and stalked over to your endless pile of heels for himself. He flung a few to the side and mumbled under his breath when he couldn't find the ones he was looking for.

"J what are you doing?" You walked over barefoot but jumped when J laughed after finding the perfect pair. He wordlessly pointed for you to sit down.

Thank goodness a chair was nearby. Joker meant business when he didn't speak. You flopped down in your sage accent chair and waited for the lion to stalk its prey.

You were speechless when Joker got down on his knees to put a pair of Tom Ford stilettos on your dainty feet. They were the same pair he gifted you recently. He swore he purchased them with real money.

Like you actually believed him.

Regardless if he obtained them legally or not, they made your skin tone pop even more and highlighted the stark white of the bridesmaid dress.

You wore clear heels to the wedding but Joker was in charge here. Only the best for his Light.

"There... perfect." He whispered more to himself than you. His green eyes snapped up to you. Joker's hands were rubbing your calves but they slowly creeped up under the gown to caress your thighs. "A vision in white."

From the halter neck to the draped bodice, you were a sight to behold. This gown, what it represented, was doing things to him. His Light bathed in white whereas he was swallowed in darkness.

Yin and yang. The two of you were polar opposites and he absolutely loved it.

"A-Alrighty.. um it still fits! So um... can I take this dress off now?" You asked with a shaky breath. Green eyes pinned you down further into the seat as Joker's lips inched closer and closer to yours.

"NoPe. It's our big day and you look... phenomenal. You look so heavenly.. n' all for me." Joker tucked a wayward curl of hair back behind your ear.

His words made your eyes widen. Big day? What was he going on about?

"J.. what're you..?"

"Stay right here, doll. Don't. Move." He ordered. He grinned at you before backing away and leaving the room altogether.

You blinked in shock but did as you were told.

Just what had gotten into Joker and where did he go? It was taking him longer than a minute to return.

You tapped your heels on the floor as you waited.

He came back with your fresh bouquet of flowers that you always kept on display in the foyer. This week it was a hodgepodge of wildflowers mixed in with chrysanthemums and snapdragons; the perfect wedding arrangement. You finally had an understanding of what was going on here.

"Did you know it's considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?" You accepted the fresh flora and discreetly shook off the excess water from the stems before it soaked into your satin dress.

Joker just shrugged and helped you to your feet. He kissed your cheek and led you out of the bedroom. "Who needs luck when I have you?"

Now that was sweet.

You bowed your head and let Joker guide you out onto the balcony. He walked you out just like a newlywed couple to the reception.

The night was balmy and the distant lights from the Fashion District cast a neon glow on everything. Joker stepped away to turn on the patio's string of lights to soften things up a bit.

They came on and illuminated you in a warm intimate glow. You were missing a veil for this to truly be a dream come true. Joker would just have to go without. Your smile monopolized all of his attention anyways.

You shined brightly just like the lighthouse he named you after. You laughed when Joker bowed and offered you his hand, like a true gentleman.

You both knew he was anything but.

"May I have this uhh, dance?"

Joker's smile was genuine and without his signature makeup, he looked dazzling under the twinkling lights.

You could stare at J for hours. You didn't care about his scars. Yes, they made him into the fearsome man he was, but in your opinion, Joker was beyond stunning no matter how you looked at him.

How could you say no to such a handsome man?

With your bouquet in one hand– you gave Joker the other as he swept you up into a ballroom waltz right there on the balcony.

You heard gentle music playing from the speakers and knew this must've been what he ran off to prepare.

"But you don't plan things.." You mumbled under your breath.

Joker kissed your cheek to silence his laugh. You loved pointing out his affinity for structure and plans.

The two of you danced along to the soft music and stared into each other's eyes. Yours were more bashful whereas Joker did nothing to hide his desire. The grip he had on your hip clenched tighter when you bit your lip. It wasn't unusual for Joker to get handsy but your curiosity got the better of you at the origin of his passion.

"So... um you're not gonna tell me what brought this on?"

He scoffed as if you should've already known the answer. "Do I need an excuse to dance with my wife?" Joker dipped you suddenly.

You were sputtering and gaping like a fish. "W-Whahh? Wife?" He slowly straightened you back up.

"Do play along, Y/n." Joker said with an eye roll.

"Oh I'm sorry Joker! I didn't know we were roleplaying tonight. I was trying on clothes and you went all... thison me! How was I supposed to know you had a bridal fetish or whatever this is? I bet you wanna skip straight to the honeymoon anyways."

You looked away and missed Joker's licking his scars in agitation. You knew the exact buttons to press with him, it was infuriating.

The scene was set. Why couldn't you just play along?

Joker spun you again but this time he jerked you roughly so your back was against his chest. He kept you steady on your feet with his strong grip.

"I.... didn't know I had one until you found this... this... dress. White looks soo... ethereal on you my Light. So what if I wanna end our uhhh re-cep-tion early and consummate our bond. Hmm? Are ya gonna stop me? We both know that's what you wanT."

Joker leaned down to whisper in your ear. "You wanted me since the moment I came home."

That may be true, but he didn't have to call you out on it!

That matte black suit of his was equal parts sinful and alluring plus you really wanted that gold chain of his swinging in your face tonight.. An airy moan slipped out before you could stop it.

How did he know your body better than you?!

Joker ran his hand down the front of your dress and bunched the satin material up until your legs were bare to his touch. The humid air teased your bare sex, making you shiver.

"I bet you're thinking about it.. righT now, aren't ya? Let's see just how needy my wife is..." 

Without warning, Joker plunged his fingers into your wet pussy. You clutched onto his forearms and gasped at the intrusion.

"Told ya, princess.. you're sopping wet for me." He groaned at hearing your wet lips gush out as he thrusted them deeper inside. Your eyes fluttered half mast but flew back open in fear.

You looked left and right, hoping it was dark enough for your neighbors to not witness what was going on your balcony.

Just because you owned the penthouse didn't mean there weren't other buildings surrounding yours. Gotham City was notorious for peeping toms and noisy neighbors.

"J-J... my mmph!" Your complaint fizzled away when Joker's thumb rubbed at your clit. Why did you take your panties off around this man?

J loves when you wear dresses and skirts for 'easy access' and for good reason.

The man was a sorcerer with his fingers and you loved when he worked his magic. He curled them just so and had you hurling straight to the cusp of pleasure in record time.

You were wet the moment he walked in the bedroom but he didn't need to know that. Joker knew his tailored suits turned you on.

Finally getting some much needed stimulation was sending you over the edge. You clawed at J's arms as the heat threatened to consume you entirely.

A flick of his thumb against your bundle of nerves and you were moaning out in ecstasy.

You made a mess of his fingers right there for anyone to see if they looked out their window. The thrill of being seen had you squirming in J's arms. You swatted at his hand with your flowers when he tried to prolong your orgasm.

He easily overpowered you and laughed at your sensitive walls clenching down on his fingers. Joker clicked his tongue when you tried bucking away from him.

"Tsk. Always running away." He sighed.

You squeaked when he picked you up, bridal style, and carried you back inside.

Usually Joker would toss you down on any nearby surface and watch your body bounce helplessly before he dragged you back towards him, but today was different.

Today, Joker stopped into your enclosed sunroom and set you down gently on the couch. He hit the light switch and instantly the balcony lights went out and plunged the both of you into darkness.

Now only the moonlight shining in from the glass roof guided his lips to yours.

You dropped your flowers to cradle the back of Joker's head and deepened the kiss. He let you have control for as long as it took him to discard his suit jacket and rip off his tie. He was working on the buttons on his shirt when you pulled away.

"Ngh, no let me... l-let your wife do it." You moaned out.

Your hands were shaking as you undid the buttons. You were too nervous to look up at the panting dragon before you.

Joker let you push his shirt off his shoulders but he tilted your chin up when you failed to look up.

You acknowledged your role and needed to be rewarded.

He whispered your name amongst the lush plants and flora in your sunroom. The air in here was stuffy since he left the balcony's sliding door open. You were already collecting sweat on your brow and good thing Joker took off his makeup earlier or it would be melting off of him.

He still licked at lips in that nervous habit of his.

"Do you want this? Tell me to uhh stop if ya don't." Joker slowly pushed your dress up to bunch up around your stomach. He had no plans of taking it off. If he did, he'd risk tearing it to shreds and that wouldn't do.

If he had it his way, you would wear white everyday, you looked so beautiful in it. But back to the matter at hand.

You nodded in the dark and wrapped an arm around Joker's shoulder. His gold chain was still cool to the touch and you ran your fingers over it fondly.

"I want this. I-I want you. Please, J."

He left a kiss to your forehead and groaned. "You already have me, Y/n."

Joker moved to remove his pants after earning your consent. The sound of his belt buckle in the dark sent a rush of adrenaline to your core. You were excited and the fact you could hardly see made this encounter even more hot.

Your heart was beating out of your chest when you felt Joker's hands slide up your heel clad legs and yank you closer to him. Your back hit the couch cushions and you scrambled for something to hold onto in the dark.

Joker must've seen you flailing around since he guided your hands back onto his shoulders.

No fair how he could see perfectly in the dark whereas you were blind as a hehe... bat. 

"Hey.. I wanna see yo— ah!"

Joker slapped his cock on your pussy as if he heard your joke. You jumped at each impact of his hard on hitting your clit and clawed at his upper back in delight.

He seemed to enjoy the sting and tipped his head back in a groan.

Then a pair of neon green eyes stole your attention. It was unnatural the way they reflected off the lack of light, almost feline at times. Joker's night vision was legendary and it was all focused on you.

Your beautiful body sprawled out on the couch. Your curls framing your face like a halo and Joker swore the white of your gown made your melanin skin glow.

How did he get so lucky? He must be dreaming. If it were a dream, he would enjoy it while it lasted.

Joker slid his dick into you, slacked jaw and eyes filled with longing. Your eyes rolled back feeling him stretch you open and come to a rest inside. Joker panted above you and braced his weight on his hands near your head.

You were now caged in with nowhere to go.

"Yeah? This what you– mmhm d__n, is this what you needed, my Light? If ya want me, then take it. Take. All. Of. Meee." Joker grunted and set a rhythm; steady deep thrusts that jolted your entire body and stole your breath.

You buried your hands into his hair and tugged, knowing J loved that. He moved with the motion and laughed to himself.

"F__k, relax Princess and work with me." He pulled his hips back so he could slam into your pussy deeper.

You cried out and wrapped your legs around his waist. He felt the straps of your heels press into his back.

Note to self, clothed sex was hot.

"See? There ya go.. now I can beat it up just the way ya like it. Ohhhh, I got the best wife. Tight cunt, killer body... sexy moans– louder doll. I wanna hear just how good I'm making ya feel."

You bared your neck as he picked up the pace and plowed into your womb. Each rock of his hips hit your g spot and made you dizzy.

You looked up and watched the clouds distort the image of the moon through the roof. Such a beautiful night spent with the one you love.

Joker noticed your distracted gaze and brought your focus back on him by pressing down on your lower belly. You keened loudly in his ear.

"Haha. Eyes on me, Princess. I know, I know. You can cum if it feels that go~od."

You nodded, gasped sweetly, and then came on Joker's cock. And he didn't stop his powerful thrusts either. He plowed right through your orgasm with no regard for your hypersensitivity.

You couldn't escape his passion and took out your agony on his back. Joker hissed when your nails initially dug into his skin but laughed it off.

"Argh, those d__n nails of yours are sharp! Is it really that good, darling? Too much cock making you go crazy stupid already? You want me to stop? Huh? Too bad, cuz I'm noT done yet." He groaned when your walls clamped down tighter on this dick but he recovered quickly to resume his brutal thrusts.

He picked you up by your waist and positioned you to straddle him properly on the couch.

You cried out when you sank further down on Joker's cock due to the angle.

Now he could see you properly as a beam of moonlight shined down from the roof to a spotlight on you bathed in white.

Your hair was in complete disarray and your lips red from biting them in pleasure but in Joker's eyes, you were absolutely stunning.

You locked eyes with Joker and braced your hands on his shoulders. His fair skin was flushed red from exertion but he still looked every bit of Gotham's City most wanted criminal.

The dark gleam in his eyes was a warning in itself.

Your gaze latched onto the gold chain hanging around his neck, and most importantly, the tiny charm with your initial bouncing with each thrust Joker made up into your pussy.

It was hypnotizing and you couldn't help but lean forward to kiss Joker.

He didn't mind and slowed things down so you could feel each vein sliding against your gummy walls. The wet slap of skin and heavy pants was the only sound in the sunroom. You wouldn't be surprised if the glass behind Joker was fogged up by your lovemaking. It was still too dark to tell for sure.

You were the focal point here so you leaned back and put in some work to get Joker off.

You rolled your hips in figure eights that he loved so much and was quickly rewarded.

Joker placed his hands onto your hips and used them like handlebars.

"D__n Y/n. F__k meeeeee." He leaned back on the couch and watched you ride his dick, chasing another orgasm.

You didn't care that you were getting your dress dirty or that your feet were killing you in your stilettos.

Joker took one look at you dressed in white and gold and smacked your behind. You whimpered softly. The sting spurred you to go faster and you began chanting Joker's name like a prayer.

"Nuh uh bunny. You know what ta call me." J whined when you clenched tighter around him.

You bit your lip, looking away.

He could call you wife all night long but it was something different about returning the favor. You knew Joker needed this to get off but it meant more to you.

"Say it Y/n.. p-plea— nghh just once. That's all I, ahhh, that's all I neeeed, darling. I want you to have it, but I need.."

Oh. Joker begging meant he was serious. His eyes were squeezed shut as he neared his own release but you could tell something was holding him back.

You could feel it with how handsy and needy he became. Anything could spill from Joker's lips as he reached his summit. He needed whatever this fetish was.

You drew in limited air and blew it out in a shaky moan.

Just the sight of Joker, usually so composed and calculated, losing all self control– because of you, was empowering. At this rate you were gonna cum again.

You wanted Joker to cum with you; it felt right with the emotions floating in the air tonight.

You choked back a moan, "I want it! I want my husband to c-cum. I need you, J! Please fill me up!"

His reaction was instant.

"Yeah? Ya want it? My beautiful wife wants my cum? Anything you want, it's yours, Y/n. Ask of me anything. I will defy my own will to grant your desires!! Y-You can have it all just.. stay with me. F-Foreever. Never.. s__t, so tight! Never leave me Bunny." 

You recognized your own book quote mixed in with Joker's pleas and moans. If possible, you fell even deeper in love. You wouldn't stop for anything after hearing that.

You felt the moment Joker came undone.

He squeezed you close as his hips bucked up into yours uncontrollably. He didn't care about moaning obscenely in your ear because he babbled his deepest darkest fears to you in between struggling to breathe.

"Stay with me, Y/n.. I need.. I need you please— you complete me. You own me. Don't go.. my beautiful wife. M-My Light. All mine.."

It was the most vulnerable you ever heard Joker speak. He was open about his future with you.

You were uncertain about his plans after he healed up and left, but tonight you got a glimpse of the future. He wasn't going anywhere and neither were you and you never felt more closer to him than in that moment.

You bared down and let a silent scream paint your features as your own climax was ripped from out under you.

The fact you came with Joker made the release ten times more intense and hearing him confess in your ear was like an atomic bomb.

Joker fell back and took you with him as the afterglow hit you both. Shivers and gasps were exchanged in the muggy room.

Your dress was sticking to your sweaty skin and you felt absolutely euphoric wrapped up in the arms of your lover. Joker wasn't in any better shape. The satin fabric of your dress was brushing up against his sensitive skin with every rise and fall of your breathing but he couldn't move.

He was slowly softening inside of you and cum was oozing from your pussy and pooling down to your inner thighs.

It was filthy but neither of you could bear to move. You were right where you needed to be. In his arms.

If Joker had a shred of morals he would carry you to the bath and help wash you up but first he had to address what he said during the heat of the moment.

Joker rubbed his scarred lips along your collarbone and subtly cleared his throat.

"I.. meanT it, Y/n." You turned your head and rested it under Joker's chin. "I dunno what started all of this but I uhh.. I'd like that. Us. You know... together.. Not right now! But ahh uhh.. it's on the table for the future... if ya want."

You tensed up in his arms and he thought the worst.

What if you disagreed and thought he was insane? What if you wanted nothing more to do with him? Was this the end of this phenomenal relationship all because he considered marriage?

Joker sounded so cute, all bashful and unsure of himself and you loved watching his eyes dart around in a panic. You put his worries at ease by leaning up and kissing him soundly.

"I meant what I said too silly. I-I need you too but only if you'll have me." You looped your hands with Joker's much larger ones.

He stared at the clash of skin tones and sighed. He was worrying over nothing.

"Forever then, yeah?" He kissed your palm before looking down at you. That breathtaking smile of yours was highlighted by the moonlight.

Since J quoted The Greeks Among Us, you decided to do the same.

"Until the last star fades in the night sky, I'm yours forever and ever, ο εραστής μου."

He rolled his eyes at your direct quote but attacked you with kisses anyway. His sweet little nerd. However the phrase summarized your love perfectly, all for a man who didn't deserve a single ounce of it.

Joker would spend the rest of his days proving his love for you. He could start by giving you that ring he bought.

[etoilesbienne]

Hello, I hope I'm not bothering by writing here! I quite like your last statement

I agree with the fact that the German cc was supposed to arrive a while ago + the awards were teased when they were all in LA, so it was planned a while back. I would still have liked a lil reassurance, even a short thing like "we are still working on the administration of the server" but I seem to understand looking at the other ccs that it's quite taboo to speak out about these and they prefer to handle it behind the scenes? Which I can understand

Being French you can't help but feel a little abandoned these days, baghera is busy and Aypierre is kinda a crypto bro and don't want to drop the content that boost his viewer counts, so yeah he his a sore subject lmao. Antoine stream less qsmp than the others and is not as involved in the server, and we (at least I am) are worried about etoiles since he never took a break that abruptly and that long before, moreover he sounded really down ; I was happy to learn that kameto is a sweetheart of a friend and took him out with him to Madrid for valorant esport! (his team is playing)

There isn't a lot of communication these day but I don't really want to see everyone expecting the worse or speculating, it's stressing everyone out... I hope to have news about the server when etoiles gets better (may he takes all his time he deserves it!). I'm kinda sad that the French won't meet Hugo or be there for the awards but we'll see how it goes, I'm hoping for the best since I would love to see etoiles (my main pov) play and interact with all the new (and older player) in the future !!

May everyone take care and if you get too bothered by this situation, try to take time for yourself to not get too mentally drained <3

Oh yeah absolutely I agree 100% on the first part with reassurance, I'm desperate for any sort of clarity or update on the admin situation to know whats going on moving forward. I just felt like the immediacy of people taking Hugo's announcement as a bad sign for admins was leaning a little fearmongering. These can both be true with Hugo not needing to be screwed over but also the admin situation is in desperate need of fixing.

but yeah... on etoiles I was really concerned since he's such a workhorse and streams while injured frequently, you can't put off managing chronic illness forever or it bites you in the ass (I would know lol).

I think your concerns and fears are very fair and valid here, Pierre's got a hot-cold relationship with the community since the start lol. I understand people's aversion to him. At the very least I do take Pierre being on the server at all as a bit of a sign that maybe French isn't totally lost... And knowing if they actually got rid of Pomme more than just the French would quit. People love those eggs.

Either way I hope Etoiles has a good rest of Ramadan & Eid, he deserves his break

[goldenflowerceo]

I would like to hear about your Deadstar au!

and howdy specifically to the other two of you who said yes. thanks for enabling me :3

basis for some of the timeline stuff takes inspiration from @bonefall’s better bones AU, where squirrelflight, leafpool, and crowfeather are full adults by the time of the TNP journey. there are some family tree shuffles, and event additions/changes/shuffles as well.

the point where it diverges from canon is at the windclan massacre. tallstar loses one of his lives in the slaughter, and deadfoot struggles to drag his leader's recovering body across the moor as fast as possible. ashfoot is helping usher cats out of camp as well, and the moor cats flee as far as they can into the night. deadfoot leads his clan to a distant, murky tunnel, and the group then starts to live off rats.

deadfoot waits patiently for some kind of word to reach them about the state of the other clans and their home. maybe bluestar would've found her need for justice spurred, and sent out a patrol to fetch them?

every day, deadfoot watches the horizon, watches as his leader's lives drain away from sickness and starvation as he offers his meals to the cats that need it more, hoping someone will appear over the rise to save the clan.

but they are alone.

finally, tallstar succumbs to the weakness he's subjected himself to in hopes the rest of his beloved clan could thrive. mourning is quick and short-lived; there's no time to honor his memory at the moment. windclan is dying, starving, and ill; and deadfoot must take up the mantle of the forsaken clan immediately. there is no time to waste.

unfortunately, deadfoot lacks the proper rights to fully assume the title of leader; the pilgrimage to the moonstone is unfeasible at this time. their ancestors have turned their backs on them, and refuse to send any guidance. deadstar feels as though his new ‘name’ is an omen in and of itself; it symbolizes the dying nature of his clan. the stars that were once their ancestors are dying, leaving their descendants deserted and forgotten.

some cats want to return to the forest territories, but deadstar and ashfoot forbid it. the cats can’t return back, lest the other clans chase them out again; or even worse, they’ve already colonized their land, and windclan does not have the stench or number to take their moors back.

eventually, though, the cats do decide to look for greener pastures and they vacate the murky, rat-infested tunnels. they settle into some land adjacent to a twolegplace, but it’s… not great. their land back home was far more flourishing and generous to the clan. but it’ll have to do for now.

ashfoot then bears two kits: eaglekit and crowkit. they are some of the healthiest and strongest kits the clan has seen in their time of exile! it must be a sign of good times and fortune, and that starclan is looking down on them once more! the children carry stars in their eyes, glistening like the tears of their clanmates who lost loved ones in shadowclan’s invasion.

as they grow, barkface takes on crowpaw as an apprentice. eaglepaw is apprenticed to (idk man there’s not enough room in my brain for information that’s not my OC but whatevs. also i don’t really remember what other windclan warriors would be alive at this time? my knowledge is rusty, forgive me. anyway it’s probablyyyy onewhisker bc of future things that happen in this AU [insert me rubbing my hands together like an evil little fly]). early on in their their apprenticeship, barkface and deadstar prophesy that the siblings will deliver their clan out of exile. (i’m like. really bad at writing prophesies but i was mostly thinking of michael joncas’ song “on eagle’s wings” bc that was a song my elementary/middle school sang a lot during wednesday mass and also the idiom “as the crow flies”).

so, crowpaw heads out with his sister and eaglepaw to find a new land for their beloved clan; they come across the tribe cats, appreciate their hospitality, and carry on their way. then, over the ridge; they see it: a sparkling lake swathed in heather and oak. excitedly, they pick up the pace on their trek, eagerly exploring the land. the streams are clear and the moors are thick with unfamiliar but homely scents. eaglepaw remarks on the intense fernweh she feels, knowing her brother must share the same sensation.

this is it. their prophesied homeland.

crowpaw stumbles across a bubbling waterfall that cascades gently into a pool of stars and silver; it whispers to him, tickling his ears in foreign yet intriguing tongues. sleeping here with his sister for the night, crowpaw dreams of starclan, an unfamiliar body of cats he’s never known, yet walked beside his entire life.

a gangly black and white tom speaks out from the amorphous mass, introducing himself as tallstar. he’s pleased with crowpaw and eaglepaw’s journey, and relieved that barkface and deadstar heeded starclan’s word despite their moonslong silence. the only thing now is to return to their clan and lead them back here.

and that's exactly what the two siblings do. with two pairs of ears clipping over the horizon, the messiahs are spotted first by young warrior gorsepetal, who has just served his moonlight warrior vigil. he lets out a joyous, earsplitting yowl, quickly rousing deadstar from his sleep as he fears that shadowclan has tracked them down again to finish the job. but instead, the aged harley (my term for an old, non-male or -female cat. fran is my term for a younger one) is tackled by his twin children, who excitedly recount their journey in overlapping enthusiasm.

ashfoot peels her kits off their father, and they finally calm down to announce to the clan their journey and findings in alternating turns. pelts of their clanmates ruffle in excitement, anticipation, and apprehension; some suggest the clowder should head out for their promised land now, while others raise scrutiny about why they should trust the word of two juveniles who've been gone from their clan for several weeks.

eaglepaw jumps to her and her brother's defense. they raise a good point, yes, but why would the pair lie when they sincerely want what's best for their suffering clan? has windclan not been the holiest clan since its founding, traditionally sleeping under the stars? why do they want to reject starclan now when their ancestors have finally reached down to cradle the moor cats in their arms after so many moons of silence?

it's decided. the clan will set out in two days for their star-gifted land.

eaglepaw and crowpaw lead windclan through the mountains and into the land around the lake; the moor cats quickly take up the entire land for themself. the twins are commemorated for their guidance and achievements, and are named eagleflight for being the main navigatoron the journey and crowpond for discovering the moondpond. deadstar finally has a way to claim his 9 lives.

moons of prosper and fortune pass, but suddenly... strange scents float upon the wind one brisk morning. deadstar heads out with a large patrol to investigate, and they come upon a group of a brown tabby, a ginger molly, a brown and gold tortoiseshell, a light silver tabby, and a silver-gray tom. there are stars in the eyes of the ginger cat as deadstar introduces his patrol as cats of windclan. the others say they are brambleclaw and squirrelpaw of thunderclan, tawnypelt of shadowclan, and feathertail and stormfur of riverclan, respectively. deadstar's whiskers twitch with hesitant recognition of the clan names. thoughts still linger in the back of his mind that these cats are here to destroy windclan... but deadstar will give them a chance.

it's been ages. windclan will be fine.

squirrelpaw starts to gab about how she's heard of windclan; a fable of a music clan driven out for being too weak. insulted, deadstar snaps about how could they possibly be weak if the stars guided them here to this bountiful land for them all.

tawnypelt steps forward to quell the storm. she explains that starclan has also guided them here after they met with a badger who called herself midnight.

apprehensive but not inhospitable, deadstar reluctantly guides the travelers back to the central moor camp so the foreigners can rest and eat. they stay for day, and then leave out again towards the mountains.

some weeks later, a horde of mysterious cats suddenly swarms upon their land. they linger on the edges, but brambleclaw, squirrelpaw, tawnypelt, and stormfur are immediately recognized. deadstar and a patrol of various warriors escort the original travelers to their camp to explain what's going on.

stormfur mournfully mumbles how feathertail sacrificed her life to kill this mystical giant cat named sharptooth to save the tribe in the mountains shortly after they'd departed. brambleclaw recounts how twoleg monsters invaded their territories and started capturing cats, with squirrelpaw interjecting how they were poisoning the rivers and tearing their trees right out of the ground. tawnypelt weeps as she tells deadstar how they had to leave everything behind to keep themselves safe.

sympathy is first offered by deadstar, but then his fur bristles with anger as brambleclaw proposes that windclan let the other three clans settle around the lake.

and the black harley snaps.

why should he let them colonize their land that was gifted to them by starclan? sure, they were chased out of their land, but they had a choice to either adapt to their surroundings and lose cats in the process, or leave for a new land.

windclan didn't even get a fucking warning.

why should he let them settle their land, when they didn't even try to find them after their exile?

throwing them out, deadstar speaks of the other three clans' proposition. some cats united under mudclaw, who rejects the idea of the other clans living here. this is their land, and not up for the taking.

onewhisker is open to the idea of the other clans living here alongside them. it's been years; they shouldn't hold a grudge and make children pay for their forebearers' sins.

crowpond and eagleflight find themself at odds. crowpond says they should send these new felines way; they found this land first, and finders keepers. plus, that stupid brown tabby who's apparently the sister of squirrelpaw is starting to claim she found the new holy site, that she's calling the moonpool? when crowpond found the moonpond first?!

eagleflight, always one open to new possibilities... thinks they should give the newcomers a chance. she tells her brother that leafpool means no harm; she just doesn't know better. she's in an unfamiliar land, and the other clans haven't been with windclan for a generation or two; leafpool's probably got so many thoughts swirling around in that pretty little head of hers.

rebellion breaks out; mudclaw and onewhisker both leading their respective sides. deadstar and ashfoot are trying their best to keep their clan united, but onewhisker's forces have teamed up with the rest of the clans to force themselves in.

in the resulting lakewide battle, deadstar loses a life; he sees tallstar, who can't bear to meet his former deputy's gaze. he didn't want it to end up this way. starclan is deliberating what the clans' fate will be. deadstar is sent back to his body, pleading for guidance on what to do.

deadstar wakes up just in time to see mudclaw and onewhisker grappling in shallow waters several paces ahead of him. as mudclaw rises to try and slam onewhisker's head into the water to drown him, onewhisker kicks the brown tabby away with his powerful hindlegs. lightning strikes in sync with the kick, and a dying tree is sent crashing down on the older warrior.

windclan is sent racing back to their camp without their leader, with crowpond trying to help his father limp back to their primary moor camp. in their absence, riverclan, shadowclan, and thunderclan move in.

many of the cats who rebelled with onewhisker are exiled, and they disperse into the other three clans.

a few days later, eagleflight pads into camp, shame and guilt smeared across her face. she pleads for her father's forgiveness, saying she didn't want to hurt or oppose him; she just wanted everyone to get along.

she enters mateship with nightcloud. two months later, breezekit is born. his eyes carry stars that shine like the tears of his forebearers.

four months later, on a border patrol, deadstar swears he sees stars in the eyes of lionpaw, jaypaw, and hollypaw. they sparkle like the tears of their ancestors lost in the great exile.

[lesharl-eclair]

strollonso fic recs pt 2: authors

4 amazing writers whom i am Watching for strollonso content. may or may not be their primary output, but whatever they have is certified delicious. apologies if you've read these many many times just take it as classic literature ;))

[part 1]

all fics below the cut; if you enjoyed these fics, please show the authors comment and kudo love; should you be the author of a fic that's here, and don't want to be here, please reach out to me and your wish is my command :)

@alpaine:

a strollonso pioneer (these works were written in 2022!) somehow i do not detect a single trace of rancid vibes. almost jarringly wholesome. very good :)

something in the air (T, <1k)

Fernando Alonso keeps complimenting Lance. It's weird. He's not going crazy, it's weird, right?

this is delicious (fernando Knowing and Choosing to praise lance knowing full well what it does to him........) short and sweet. a little glimpse into interactions that are dizzying to think about.

game misconduct (T, 2.6k)

**BREAKING NEWS 🚨** Alonso to the Canadiens. The return is still being worked out, but expect an official team announcement by the end of the day. “Fuck,” Lance exhaled.

the author really said "i love fanfic because i can write fernando alonso as brad marchand and no one can stop me" and i am compelled. compelled. i think the inherent homoeroticity of ice hockey really helps matters.

"holy shit, alonso" basically encapsulates this fic so well -- all the characters really come through and meld so well despite it being a different sport, and the strollonso is given the space to shine.

***

2. @wewentcarracing:

for me this is the essence of strollonso. little else comes close :")

silver platter (E, 9.7k)

Lance is well aware that the first word people typically associate him with is "spoiled". He's fine with it. Well; not fine, maybe, but mostly past the point of caring. He's not delusional about it, either. He's gotten more or less everything he's ever wanted, and he wouldn't have any of it without his father. If that makes him soft or weak or a brat or anything else people like to throw at him—whatever, fine. It's a nice life. He can also admit to himself that it's left him kind of ill-equipped for knowing exactly what he wants but not having any idea how he's supposed to get it.

if there is one strollonso fic to read, let it be this.

i adore the way this author does characterisation it is actually insane. the sheer intensity of nando. the way he puts his pussy into it. the magnetic charm and easy confidence. ESTEBAN AS A CHARACTER. and lance oh my goddddd the way you write lance is breathtaking. rich child mindset? how he isn't spoilt per se but there's still this lingering attitude at the back of his mind??? spot on.

also possessive nando might just be my favourite thing: “Let them hear. Why not?” Fernando says, voice rough and low and close enough to Lance’s ear that Lance can feel it against his skin. “Let them see what I do to you.”

all teeth (E, 3k)

Fernando has always been able to play with his food for a long time before he's too hungry to resist it.

this one i am actually addicted to. i have reread it an embarrassing number of times. pOSSESSIVE NANDO. and lance not being as naive as one might expect. the attention to detail here is insane (the parallels between the before and during....... the metaphors.....) the vibes here are like the richest dark chocolate cake. decadent and fantastic and so so rewarding.

***

3. @vicsy:

so much tenderhorny introspection. excellent character studies.

snapshots (M, <1k)

The photos Fernando keeps on his phone always tell a different story.

it's poetry, is what it is. short and sweet and the scenes it proposes are so fitting and immersive, a tiny glimpse into just how deep their relationship runs.

little flame, consume my hate (M, 17.6k, wip 1/2)

The problem at hand is that Lance can't bring himself to care enough — about his father's wishes, about his fate as the future king, as a ruler of a kingdom standing on a shaky foundation; about slaying a dragon who hasn't scorned him in any way. Even the thought of not coming back and perishing on this unwanted quest doesn’t instill as much fear. He has everything and thousands would wish to be in his place, but his life feels empty and artificial; lacking a spark or a purpose. Or: Lance is a knight who’s sent by his father, the king, on a quest to slay a dragon in order to prove himself. Instead of a mighty beast Lance stumbles upon a peculiar man named Fernando who wears a lavish robe and spends most of his time reading. Or so it seems.

this was such a fun read!! i really admire this author's scene-setting ability, everything is so balanced, detail-rich and a pleasure throughout. also also also also the au/worldbuilding....so much love mwah mwah <3 even through 17k words the narrative is well-paced and well-timed, and really drew me in :) simultaneously scared and excited for part 2!

shatter my life apart (see me for somebody else) (M, 1.5k)

For all of Lance’s naivety, for how easily he follows down that narrow path, it’s a rush no money can buy. A touch here, a not-so-friendly pat there, a show of teeth in a smile that is lethal and Lance knows Fernando wants a taste, craves to do so much more, something unspeakable, something that could turn into the nastiest paddock gossip to this day but it’s exhilarating — knowing he does that to a man by simply existing. Knows that, maybe, he wants it, too. 

this needs to be framed and hung up somewhere, i think. author's way with words is insane - the almost dreamlike quality of how lance is blown away by nando again and again, the jarring difference between lance's perceptions and the reality are rendered so beautifully here. a character study to remember.

***

4. @merenwenformulauno:

you make nando suffer sO MUCH... ....... but i'm still here for it <3

Between Gravel Traps (series) (E, 3-5k per part)

It starts in Budapest, then Spa. Then Zandvoort, then Monza.

i think this took me a few reads to truly wrap my head around. the quality is pretty damn impressive and the potential is insane - a relationship that's a little rough around the edges, but still so distinctly Them. nando brute forcing (?) (there is no way that's the right word) his way into lance's affection is something i definitely did not expect, but plausible and lovely nonetheless. i love the way it's slowly growing into a race by race thing, looking forward to more!

against the clock (E, 28.5k)

fernando is a cop. lance is the wildcat behind the wheel of a bus that can't drop under 50kpm or a bomb goes off. a normal way to fall in love. 

i had been putting off reading longfic for sooooo long you had no idea. this one kind of snapped me out of it !! a very masterfully done speed au. (loved all the little references but i will not go into detail bcs i dont want to spoil it here) this author has a penchant for suffering methinks. this work is still unfairly riveting despite all the pain, and the deliciousness of bonding through trauma is UNMATCHED.

***

that's all for today and thank you for reading to the end of this very lengthy rec list hee hee....there's actually so much more to this growing corner of ao3 so keep an eye out for more amazing works!!

if you enjoyed this, or if i missed any fic, please let me know :) drop me an ask mayhaps if you would like more fic recs, and i will try my best to give timely unqualified opinions <3

[the-banana-0verlord]

Answer some or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

Alright, ill try lmao

1.no, i dont have freckles!

2. I WISHED i found Coffee and tea good because its so aesthetic but it tastes bad imo

3. I checked my spotify and its girls just wanna have fun by cyndi lauper so i suppose its that

4.i move a lot but i usually end up on my side.

5. I move too much to sleep with a lot of them because they always end up on the floor. Although i do sleep with my malleus plushie.

6. Thats a hard one, because i do both. Though i think of writing as my primary hobby/eventual job, i definitely have more fun drawing(until art Block comes knocking that is)

7.depends on the thickness. Right now i have three eith two being thin and one being medium, but i could sleep with one really thick one.

8. Mitski!!! I love her so much. Otherwise I like mother mother and marina

9.the third of november!

10. 154 cm or 5 feet. No that is not short

11. Blue-grey-kaki. I like to think of them as blue.

12. All my mutuals, all my irls, my mom, my dad, and my little sister

13. Abandonnent, failure, the future in general.

14. Yellow and light blue!

15.fall! Its so pretty

16. Im not sure yet but i can maybe have someday a small tattoo. Im not a fan of qhoel body tattoos for myself.

17. Well my ears a pierced but im not gonna get more.

18. My two irls! Talking about not getting neuvillette in gneshin ;-;(and murder)

19. I dont have a best friend per se, although i do have a closest friend. Weve been friends for at least three years(already? Damn)

20. Honestly i miss my first mutual on here. I hope they come back soon ;-;

21. It just started but its been pretty good up til now!

22. About 9-10 hours?

23. I mean, there is bound to be other forms of life in space, just thousands of lightyears away.

24. Monday cause my friend said she didnt think we were friends.

25. Id say 1890 to 1900? Though the living conditions were meh i like the aesthetic

26. Generally being silly ig? I suppose i act childihs as a comic relief.

27. Currently my favorite book(s) is the Truly Devious series by Maureen Johnson! It's been clawing it's way into my brain.

28. I'm actually doing quite fine. I'm a bit stressed since i'm going to boston soon but i can push out the bad thoughts!

29. I usually procrastinate decisions as far as possible. If it's a small one maybe like 2 minutes but if it's bigger ones it'll take longer(with the answer being no a lot)

30. Something i'm dreading but also am excited for is summer! Bye school but hello summer job ;-;

31. My irls and i(can i really call them irls? i met only two of them irl and once or twice. anyways-) are planning a roadtrip after we're all 18(aka in a bit more than 4 years)!

32. Either my friend's (irls+ moots) houses or in paris. I've always wanted to see paris.

33.open, my cats need to be free to walk in and out!

34. sunflowers and roses(i have a list on the meaning of each rose color) daisies are also cute.

35. i...guess? i own a banana shaped stress ball(that is very dirty i dont use it much) but idk if it counts as a squish.

36. yes, almost more than my first name. although my first and second name are kinda in the same name. it's like first name-second name.

37.cats!!! I have two(named chicken nugget and nebraska)(my family also owns dogs but oh well)

38. I'm a bit scared of heights but i wouldn't say i have a phobia

39. i usually go to sleep at 10:30 pm on weekdays, and 11:00-11:00 on weekends(when i don't have to wake up early due to sunday class)

40.Although i haven't been to a real beach a lot, i like it! And i always prefer sunny days so sun it is(to experience sunset on a beach... must be the dream)

41. I'd say the owl house! It's so colorful with two of my main kins.

42. @xen-blank @thehollowwriter @quartztwst @boopshoops @saionjeans (so sorry for the tag non-moots! Also i would've included all my moots but it said five ;-;)

43. Yes, i have five siblings! One oldest sister, two older brother, a little brother and the baby of the family, my little sister. i have middle child syndrome.

44. Either my mom or my little sister. I hug and say i love you to them very often. Or i said it to malleus last. One of them.

45. Tbh i have no idea in which circomstances i would die for something. maybe if i could trade my life with someone's close to me. or for peace on earth idk.

46. a big ol hug from my malleus plushie. it's a real emotional support.

47. no i have not. or maybe i did. i will probably forget it soon.

48. my two parents absolutely.

49."I wish to expérience it someday" (speaking of old lady gossip)

50. can i send you the same questions? :3

[eatinurgutz]

oh my love, you’re ok! 🤍 i am so glad… ive been painfully worried about you the past few days. i haven’t been able to make it too clear since ive been busy.. but I really have been so so worried. :( i hope you’re doing better, and i hope things are ok for you right now. 🤍

the idea of having fun together and doing things together is so so.. wonderful. even just parallel play, or just talking while we play games together… im getting butterflies just speaking about it. 🤍 there is a little bit of a problem with venting to you, my dear.. it would probably give me away, as i tend to vent quite a bit in love letter, and even sometimes on my tumblr. not a crazy amount, id like to think. but there’s a chance it would give me away. but, either way, i appreciate you offering that to me my dear. once you know who i am, i will tell you everything. 🤍

do not fret about short responses or late responses my dear. as long as we get to speak. as long as i know that you’ve seen me. 🤍 i know you’ve been struggling my dear, i really have been missing watching you on love letter and on tumblr. :( but you are back, and well. that’s all that matters. that’s adorable, we could be little ghost buddies together! 🤍 endlessly wandering the world together.. how romantic.

oh my dear, you aren’t “lucky”. you are the way you are, and that’s why i am here. this isn’t a stroke of luck.. you are yourself, and that’s why i am here. in my eyes you are perfect, despite any flaws. my heart yearns to know more about you, honestly more about all of you… i do know you’re part of a system. ^^ i have only been addressing you, nik, but if i am to be an important part of your life one day; i would like to get to know everyone. 🤍

oh my goodness.. you’re imagining a future with me. 🤍 i could melt. you are absolutely wonderful. i just want to fall to my knees and hold onto you and never let go.. cuddling, i would absolutely love to cuddle with you. of course i care enough.. you are my muse. you made me start writing again, you caused me to believe in love again.. i remember when you got your first anon on love letter (i believe it was your first.. i can’t quite remember. i was not an og member of love letter). i was so angry. i just watched on the sidelines.. “why couldn’t it be me?” “only i can be that for nik.” now im here.. writing you letters. haha, i guess i ended up being right. she wasn’t good for you.. but i am, my dear. 🤍

im glad you like reading!! maybe i can buy you some books. do you have an amazon wish list? i also quite enjoy reading, though ive been slacking.

oh my gosh.. i absolutely love Christmas, which means i love Christmas movies. i think i do prefer the more cartoony ones.. i love a Charlie Brown Christmas. My all time favorite is Nightmare before Christmas.. yes i count it as a Christmas movie, so what? :(

oooo, questions from my muse 🤍 ill do my best.

1. my timezone is CST.

2. i actually don’t watch too much anime.. but if i did have to choose, i love saiki k. it’s one of the only anime’s i regularly watch.. there are so many that ive been recommended that i need to see. i also remember watching haikyuu.. that was quite good.

3. i actually already gave it away in this letter.. Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday. maybe it’s just nostalgia.. maybe it’s the fact that christmas is such a family-oriented time of year.. it brings me so much joy.

thank you so much, my dear. i wait patiently for your response. 🤍

love, coco ☕️

I'm sorry i have had you worried about me! I've been busy as well, so it's okay if you get busy! I know. . I would love to do absolutely anything with you, coco. We could paint, watch movies, go shopping, watch operas, cuddle, or whatever you like. <3 You don't have to vent to me, if you think itll give you away! But if you're having a bad day, lmk. I'll try to cheer you up. It's okay to be sad, but i wanna see you smile too. :) I think I'll probably join LL back, later. Most of these other yandere servers aren't the same. . . :") plus i wanna gush about you somewhere you can see! When we talk, i kinda just lay there and kick my feet like a silly school child with a crush. . . I love when we get to talk, even if its not alot. :) i love when you say such good things about me in these letters! It makes me feel important, and wanted. I'm sure the other system members would love to get to know you! :3 as some of them front more than others, they have seen me talk to you! :) Although i have something to say- I'm really sorry i don't write as much as you do. In your letters you write alot and mine aren't even that long. . . I hope that doesn't upset you. :( im very bad at writing about my feelings and using the correct words. I'm trying to write as much as i possibly can, because i dont want you to feel im not trying enough, because i am trying my best. I don't want you to find someone else to anon, but if you were too, i wouldn't stop you. I want you to be happy, as happy you can be, even if its not with me. 🤍 I've always been used to being a second option, when i was younger. Although I've found myself doing it to others, i feel bad for it. I don't want you to think you're not enough like how i used too, with past relationships. I am quite over dramatic, extremely sensitive, controlling and i act like a child. I want to try my best to be good for you, and be everything you want and need. I am. . . (idk the word for it, but i do without thinking) and im afraid one day i could make a decision that would hurt you or us. I wouldn't want to do that, if i ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable or feel sad, please let me know. 🤍 im not the best with communication, so ill try for you, coco. Im sorry about my first anon, shes no longer in my life, so don't worry about that. Also, i wouldn't want you spending money on me, as it would make me feel bad for it, but as soon as i get a job, maybe we can try buying things for each other, so it would be more fair. :) i do also like Christmas, but mostly just the food. . . :") i want to get a job before then, so i can buy you something! 🤍 i do like the charlie brown Christmas movies too and nightmare before Christmas! You remind me of sally. <3

1. Alright then! As is mine.

2. I've never watched either of those. . . :") but maybe we could watch one together? Im also not big on anime, but thats okay. :3

3. I really hope we can spend Christmas together, then. I wouldn't mind that at all. . . It would make it even more wonderful, to spend my Christmas with someone who i love and care for. If only there was a mistletoe we could kiss under. (๑¯ิε ¯ิ๑)