#maybe ill make a better reference in the future

[sootysnail]

yahi design that came to me in a dream

hes based on rhis guy from lobotomy corporation its called judgement bird

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[skullinahat]

maybe love isn't enough/maybe i want something more than love.

1. So Do You Want To Go Out Or...?, chapter 50, Tamifull. 2. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love, (WWTAWWTAL), Raymond Carver. 3. WWTAWWTAL. 4. A Marriage Abolitionist Says: 'I Do?', Sophie Lewis. 5. WWTAWWTAL. 6. A Marriage Abolitionist Says: 'I Do?', Sophie Lewis. 7. So Do You Want To Go Out Or...?, chapter 75, Tamifull. 10. WWTAWWTAL. 9. A Marriage Abolitionist Says: 'I Do?', Sophie Lewis. 10. Love, Kendrick Lamar.

[liinos]

It makes me fucking insane how grad programs are like oh did you not go immediately into a masters? Well you better have a good reason why or we might not think you deserve to get one bc you're not committed 🤭 omg you didn't cure cancer or solve world inequality before applying? Don't even look in our direction 🤮 it's so great you want to further your education it would really be a shame if we made it as hard as possible 👉👈

[pierregazly]

1+ 2 = ...4? ꨄ pierre gasly smau

pierre gasly x wife!russell!reader

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of twins, george having a meltdown

in which pierre put his tripod to use and caused two major outcomes, george has a meltdown, and all the fans just want to know what's going on?

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and 23,407 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell joyeux anniversaire mon amour. three years ago today i married the love of my life and became the official mrs. gasly, so excited to give you your present tonight 🫶🏻

view all 220 comments

username omg babes post the present!!! let us all be jealous

username happy anniversary mom and dad

charles_leclerc 🥳💗

username feel like it was just yesterday that i was jealous out of my mind about their wedding... still jealous tho

pierregasly joyeux anniversaire ma chère, i am the luckiest man in the world

pierregasly can't wait to give your your own present tonight

pierregasly it rhymes with tierod

username TRIPOD PIERRE

username im SCREAMING send this man right to PRISON

georgerussell63 god every time i see anything to do with you two i have to bleach my bloody eyes. happy anniversary you two, im disgusted.

username poor george, him and carmen are so tame compared to these two... i love the polar opposite sibling trope

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, and others

replies

pierregasly i hope the pizza was good ma chérie, and hope it satisfied the little bean's cravings

ynrussell it was delicious... but we kind of want chocolate now too :(

pierregasly ill check ubereats and see what i can do

ynrussell mine and the bean's saviour 🫶🏻

pierregasly

liked by ynrussell, charles_leclerc, alpinef1team, and 209,444 others

tagged alpinef1team

pierregasly unfortunately not the finish we would have liked, the 15 second penalty cost us significantly and i apologize to my team and all our fans for it. will come back bigger and better next time 💪 now time to go and spend some well deserved time off with my family

view all 3,309 comments

username thank you for pushing through and giving us an awesome race to watch pierre!

username loved your helmet this weekend pierre!

username sad that mother ynrussell wasn't here this weekend, but happy to see her in the likes

username 'well deserved time off with my family' do we think that's alluding to something else????

username girl he's obviously talking about his wife and his family??? like what

username ummm sorry he almost always says 'my loved ones' gotta push the pregnancy rumour agenda some more

ynrussell we're all so proud of you pear 🫶🏻 the track limits and penalties are bullshit and i'll be sending a strongly worded letter to whoever costs you anything good

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, and others

pierregasly 😂😭🤍

username who is 'we're all' who is the plural that she's referring to omg

username i'm telling y'all... mother is becoming a real mother idc what any of y'all say

pierregasly has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, georgerussell63, and others

ynrussell omf make sure you get extra cheesecake... and extra elcairs, and a few brownies... maybe get a few of everything??? the bean's want them!!!!

pierregasly well if the bean's want them....

username this SCREAMS my wife is pregnant and sent me on a late night snack run omf

username tell us your secret!!!!

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, georgerussell63, carmenmmundt, and 46,578 others

tagged pierregasly

ynrussell sorry just have to appreciate how incredibly sexy it is seeing my super sexy amazing husband with kids!!! like how lucky am i!!! can't wait til' you're holding our future babies (my ovaries are exploding, i am crying, it's going to be a long day)

view all 398 comments

username girl this seems a little feral idk

georgerussell63 this is certifiably disgusting. please grow up.

username you know who would post something like this??? a wife expecting a baby who is getting more excited about that baby seeing her husband with kids

username seems legit idk

pierregasly is this your nice way of asking me to pickup more eclairs on the way home?

ynrussell cinnamon buns too?? please?? je t'aime

pierregasly can't wait to hold our future bean's too ma chérie

username pierre as a dad is going to be so sexy, ynrussell is so right??? those babies are going to be beautiful omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and 566,493 others

pierregasly october 2024 / gasly thing 1 and gasly thing 2 🐣🚼

view all 4,533 comments

ynrussell omg i'm pregnant???? SURPRISE

ynrussell maman is begging for them to come sooner, her poor back.

username AH I KNEW IT. I CALLED IT. MY HEART.

username THING 1 AND THING 2 AHHHHH

username pierre is gonna be a girl dad AND a boy dad?????? we're so blessed

georgerussell63 excuse me????

georgerussell63 you knocked my sister up????

georgerussell63 i told you to stay away from her??? this is outrageous i am disgusted

pierregasly sorry, tripod's work well.

ynrussell pierre delete this comment rn, i swear to god.

georgerussell63 (i am so excited to meet my baby niece and baby nephew. uncle georgie loves you both so much)

lewishamilton congratulations! roscoe is so excited 🤍

charles_leclerc uncle cha reporting for duty 🫡 congratulations, you two.

georgerussell63 i'd like to emphasize i'm still having a meltdown from when you casually gave me a bottle of gin to announce this. gasly genes should not be casually mixed like this.

username i dont think anyone understands the joy im feeling??? im honoured to be alive to see this

username they're gonna be such amazing parents im literally ????? so excited??????

carmenmmundt has posted a story

liked by ynrussell, pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

replies

ynrussell thank you for the beautiful baby shower, auntie carmen already has spot number 1 🫶🏻

username omg omg omg omg

username this is SO CUTE

ynrussell has posted a story

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63, and others

replies

username girl u look like ur about to pop (lovingly)

pierregasly my beautiful wife

ynrussell i don't feel very beautiful right now. i feel huge and tired and exhausted.

pierregasly still the most beautiful woman in the world

ynrussell

liked by pierregasly, alexandrasaintmleux, georgerussell63, and 56,439 others

ynrussell things are getting very, very real (not real enough for my back to not hurt, thing 1 and 2 you both are killing me)

view all 165 comments

username this aesthetic is so CUTE (that room is fucking beautiful i want a house tour????)

username they're literally due in like less than 2 months???? pierre is gonna be a dad that soon???? praying for u ynrussell

charles_leclerc im personally demanding compensation for the bruises i have from putting the nursery together

ynrussell shut up cha, you literally offered and begged to be involved

pierregasly yeah shut up cha

alexandrasaintmleux can't wait to see my art piece up in the bébé's room 🫶🏻

ynrussell knew i could always count on you angel

username im so invested in this pregnancy none of you even understand

username starting a poll asap on the babies names omf

ynrussell and pierregasly

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, roscoelovescoco, and 675,487 others

ynrussell 2024.10.16 / welcome to the world my precious théodore and éloïse. maman and papa love you so much.

view all 5,640 comments

username omg congratulations!!! such beautiful names.

username they share a birthday with charles im crying

lewishamilton congratulations! so beautiful, you are a rockstar ynrussell

charles_leclerc truly the best birthday present i could've asked for. ellie and théo should be so proud of their maman.

pierregasly the happiest day of my life, given to me by the most important woman in my life. thank you for blessing me.

username again i am so invested in this. i am so happy for these two, they're going to be incredible parents.

alpinef1team welcome to the family baby éloïse and baby théodore!

mercedesamg welcome to the family x2

username oh girl the racing teams are gonna FIGHT over these two just you wait

and there she is! after weeks of gasly!twin asks, i finally decided it was time to bring them to life in the realest way i could. i hope you all loved this as much as i loved writing it. thank you to everyone for all the incredible inspiration, and for continuing my obsession.

taglist

@leclercdream @myescapefromthislife @princessria127 @iloveyou3000morgan @love4lando @asfaraslifegets @decseptapril @somanyfandomsbruh @fangirl125reader @imagandom @motorsp0rt @jspitwall @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10 @carlandonorri-s @smoothopz @eugene-emt-roe @epitios @myloverjk-blog @glow-ish @goldenmclaren @mercunty @success78 @nicolereinara

if you're missing from the taglist, pls dont hesitate to send me a message!!

[tofupixel]

Thank you for getting me to finally try pixel art! I‘ve always wanted to get into pixel art but I never knew what to start with and always ended up procrastinating. Your blog and the post you made on learning pixel art were what finally pushed me to give it a go. It was really helpful and I managed this little animation in Libresprite.

I definitely want to improve and your art is like the ultimate goal lol. Do you have any tips or instructions for how to get better or on what to focus on in the future? I‘d appreciate any kind of criticism/input you are willing to give! How do you manage to make such gigantic and beautiful landscapes?

thank you!! and i'm so happy you decided to give it a real go, you're doing great already!! the rendering on the body and the pink shading is really nice.

i can help a little with animation stuff but i'm not an expert, ill write something out about backgrounds at the end

i hope you don't mind but i edited the sprite a little, just to illustrate some stuff

🤺Animation stuff

i added an extra frame near the top of the arc so it slows down. this is called ease or slow in/out and usually happens at the beginning and end of movements. u can do even more slow but this is just a quick version

i also removed the middle frame (where the tail is straight down) to make the swing appear a bit more powerful. this could be the principle of timing in the same video. you can exaggerate smears if you do this, its up to you!! lately i tend to exaggerate stuff a lot, things arent super noticable in motion

i also got a good bit of advice from nickwoz that helped me, basically when you begin to animate, it really puts the rest of the sprite being still into focus. try to think of how you could animate other parts of the body, even subtly. and sometimes if individual pixels stay still they can catch the eye in an unintended way as well, just keep it in mind!!

if you want to learn animation more, you could take a look at duelyst sprites, they have incredible idle and ability animations, i study them a lot

heres one i downloaded a long time ago. i recommend just downloading stuff you like and looking at it!! i have a huge collection of pixel inspo. slowing animations down can really help you understand whats going on. its just a bunch of simple elements put together that makes it look so good.

IF U WANT MORE RESOURCES/ARTISTS I REOCMMEND TO GO AND STUDY LMK!!! IM LIKE A WIKIPEDIA, I AM A BIG FAN of pixel art and love to share

🌿 OK lets talk about landscape stuff

it looks like you have art experience already, but im gonna talk as if youre a complete noob cos it might help some other people who read this!! ur doing great 👍

❓ how to learn: study (and practise a lot)

what i mean by study: draw it, copy it, try to understand it. you can try to change characteristics about it. changing the angle or lighting can help u understand how something works in 3 dimensions.

sometimes it takes time, dont worry, you will figure out your own style through doing studies, its all a process

❓ how to draw landscape details?

study pixel artists and how they do it recommendations: fool, slym, jubilee, deceiver

also please look at real world references!! you got to build that visual library

❓ how to learn composition?

study traditional artists or animation. i did a ton of studies of ghibli backgrounds which i think helped my growth a lot recommendations: arcane, studio ghibli, traditional painters

im gonna break down a piece as well and maybe that will help. this is one from 2022 but its still one of my most popular and its pretty simple too!!

if we remove all the fancy stuff what we have is actually really simple. just a few large, overlapping shapes that all point towards our focal point. it's the brightest area with the most contrast and many edges point into it.

go to pinterest or google and just search "pretty landscape" or "mountains" or something and you can see what i'm doing is nothing special or unique!! break it down into bigger shapes to begin with, its just different areas of material mostly.

and heres how you can make any landscape from any colours. purple sky or mountain? orange grass? ok !! it all works, it doesnt matter. i just blend the colours.

when parts of the landscape are in the distance they become closer to the sky colour as there is more "sky" in between you and it. its called atmospheric perspective. so if the sky was red, the clouds would fade towards red.

OKKK i dont know what else to say so i hope that helps!! honestly 90% of what i do is intuitive and hard for me to really explain, so you dont have to know The Rules, you just kind of pick up stuff as you go.

GL and thanks so much for showing me your art!! please keep going!! 💕💕💕💕

[system-of-a-feather]

hi, i have been thinking about the topic of fusion, and what i want my long-term goals to be, and i was wondering. do you ever feel like being fused is exhausting? not the process of fusion, i know thats exhausting because healing is exhausting. but like. do you ever feel overwhelmed due to being all parts of yourself at once? i havent experienced any fusions yet (hopefully in the future!) but ive seen people talk about how even when fused, none of the parts disappear but instead are all part of the "you" that always exists. my only frame of reference for how that feels for myself is blendy cofronting, which in my experience can be pleasant with 2 or 3 parts, but any more than that gets overwhelming and disorienting

Actually? Surprisingly? No. Not really at all honestly. The funny thing is that I used to wonder the same thing so I absolutely understand the frame of reference and perspective and assumptions that go with it, but its extremely comfortable and LOW energy to be fused for me.

The actual thing that happens is that you don't really get that "too many parts in front" fatigue like... ever or fronting fatigue like ever - at least thats how it is for me.

I relax a whole fuck ton better as a fused whole and while a lot of fusion still has me having to learn my new / fused "me" and how I operate on a baseline, thats an entirely different thing than trying to balance all the differing and contrasting parts or trying to understand and negotiate that because like... They are all simultaneously me and I VERY freely and fluidly exist as and between all of them. There isn't really "compromise" I have to make because.... we just co-exist harmoniously as one without even needing to explicitly talk about it or discuss or put intention into coming to a shared understanding, we just... do and know and its really really really really fucking easy living as a fused whole compared to being multiple parts

Like even if you were to ask me just as ONE part versus how I am now, there is not a single part in our system that has ever actually been so comfortable and so not-fatigued existing as I am as a whole

Everythings a lot more balanced, managable and our window of tolerance is STUPID fucking large - and I don't mean that in a "relative to where we used to be" or "relative to someone with as much trauma as I do" but genuinely STUPIDLY huge compared to most generally neurotypical non-traumatized not-severely-mentally ill people and I largely thank that to Post Traumatic Growth honestly.

But like... tldr, not really at all for me surprisingly. Maybe really early post fusion when I was still figuring myself out a lot but like.... Thats more so the process of fusing than being fused itself imo.

(Side note edit: Sometimes I DO think itd be better to explore a situation and issue as independent parts and so sometimes I DO operate in a more system / plural way of existing for however long its beneficial, but thats less to do with fusion not helping me as much as it is that I think a plural lens and perspective has a lot of perks in navigating complicated situations.)

Anyways tagging a few others who might have a different answer / perspective on this since they are either in a different stage of a fusion / integration and/or have a different way of existing with their fused / integrated state than me.

@hiiragi7 @reimeichan @subsystems

[anonymouscheeses]

so…

about this human verse you got…

how does Al fit into all of this? Is that where Vaggie got the spell or is the gang she’s a part of also a monster hunter org?

This is Alastor's human design! I wanted him to give off a old money rich vibe. I didn't look up a reference for old money attire 😭 i jjst looked at some randim char from a show i watched that kinda gave off Alastor vibes. This may change but tbh I kinda like it the way it is. Altho one day I may change my mind <3 lore drops under cut!!

(Sorry if he doesn't look like Alastor, these human designs are mostly based on my redesigns so they look even MORE different than usual ill get better hopefulllyyyy)

Husk(left) is Vaggie/Valerie's dad in this au cuz I said so unfortunately. Sorry i dont make the rules! Husk is Salvadoran like Valerie cuz ofc, like he's 100% black but I wanted him to be Valerie's dad soo I was like.... yeah win sum lose sum. But dw I have SO much black characters on the way. It's kind of terrifying!!

Alastor tries to be like a dad to Valerie but she resents him. Her mom died to a sickness, and Valerie has no room in her for another parent figure in her life except Husk.

Also, Al is gay aroace, so when he fell in love with Husk he was SO surprised likeee how??? He was his first love ever and Al just loves him dearly despite never loving anyone ever before. He's still a girls girl ofc but brutha is gay u can't tell me otherwise 😍

Charlie gave him the headband with the antlers that she cheaply made herself. Alastor loves them genuinely. (If Alastor cares abt Valerie or Charlie is purely up to viewer, but if you want to see him care for orr like be toxic to them send a request fr fr imma draw that shi 😍🙏). Alastor is the only one who knows that Charlie is a demon because he's the one that taught Valerie how to summon a demon(YOU'RE SPOT ON. HOW??).

(Also I forgor the stripes. Sorry I was so sleepy drawing this you can probably telll.😭)

Alastor is still a cannibal, his husband and step daughter just doesn't know it yet, and NO he will probably never tell them unless forced to or he feels like he can. This man is the friend the smiley bro 😭

I'll maybe soon draw what happened between Valerie, Lute, and Adam during the fight, since ALOT happened. But it may be a bit before I get to that

Alastor taught the kids young how to summon demons the WRONG way. Because obviously he didn't want literal immature kids to end the world completely. The trio spent years finding ways to summon just one demon. Adam did it to create chaos, Lute just followed, and Valerie just loved having fun with her friends.

Now that they aren't childhood best friends. And that whole fight happened. Valerie doesn't know what to do. Alastor suggests she gets a bodyguard from hell, any demon at all(Demons are devoted to you as long as you keep a part of your deal with them or you break the contract of summoning one). Aaaaand that's how Charlie came to be summoned! Valerie got her eye stabbed out, Alastor was being silly and taught his kid how to summon a demon, Valerie was like "aight ig", then summoned her future wife.

(WILL ALSO ONE DAY DRAW THE FIRST TIME CHARLIE AND VALERIE MET.... ONE DAY....)

Fun fact: Alastor has a radio station of his own that he plays 1920's music in. Although most people would rather NOT listen to old times music, somehow he makes it work that people always listen to his radio. Maybe a deal with a demon of some sorts...? Perhaps... :>

[rosethreeart]

im gonna be honest but your response to being told that your china's features dont look very asian is kind of wild, especially considering op was an asian person. Like, the fact a non-asian creator received criticism by an affected minority and basically told them that they were wrong about how their own ethnic background looks is kind of insane?? Especially when like, they offered advice on how to make it look more accurate. I know that your intentions likely weren't to do that and you were just being defensive because,,,, who isn't when accused of racism, (like i feel you) but I think you need to realise that there's nothing that screams "I don't care what minorities think" more than... effectively telling a POC you know what their people look like more than they do. Really, all it took was being open to criticism, and being willing to play around with his features to see if they could be adjusted (hm,,, maybe make the eyes less centred so they dont look so heavy set, go a little easier on those very obvious eyelids, etc) to look more asian instead of the artistic version of skull measuring (/J) lolol. Anyways thats just my two cents

I might sound a bit incoherent or blunt but I just have a migraine and this day has NOT been good /gen

As I stated before I 100% understand where people were coming from in regards to it and that I don't take the issue of whitewashing/making things eurocentric lightly and that I do take care to make characters look like the ethnicities they belong to.

Sometimes things look wonky! Shit happens!!

Quite frankly I was being defensive but to go ahead and once again assume ill intent and that that defense was some "I know better than you" rhetoric is exactly why I was defensive in the first place.

someone pointed an issue out, I said that I have that noted for future reference and that this was very clearly a one off issue, and that Im also showing that the sketch was poorly positioned but the lower nose bridge is still present and that bad faith and bad intentions should not always be assumed. Honestly this should have really just been a one and done move on situation especially for a sketch I did in less than five minutes.

I'm also just extremely 3-Dimensional in the way in which I think when it comes to the art process which is why I included the drawings not because of some weird "skull measuring" thing (which wouldn't even have made sense in the context anyways and honestly wild to even accuse someone of doing). I just could not word it without writing out an essay or some incomprehensible word vomit. I was just using a tactic commonly found in animation where you use "onion skins" to find the next breakdown/inbetween in the sequence to help show how he would have looked like from a front facing perspective with a neutral facial expression.

I'm not saying that I don't care or that I know more than them, and that is actually pretty close to the opposite of what I said verbatim!

I just felt the need to note that the features I showed are valid features and that simply reducing all people of east asain decent into having the same exact face (or just nose) shape is weird especially considering how much diversity there is. There are a wide variety of features in China and to go ahead and say that only ONE of them is valid and should be depicted is something that SHOULD receive push back not matter any previous context, which is what I was pointing out in the first place.

[firedjinni]

what do u even call the slugcats cause they're "names" are fuckinfg BORING! "monk" "survivor" yap yap yap! thats why I call them flowerboy and ponyboy hunter is a cool fucking name but still WOLFBOY. is better I know theres... other slugcats the only ones ive seen are the fat one and the darker red one. and some weird... mutation looking slugcat... weird eyes... weird colors. whateverrrrrr ill enable the dlc after i do this damn wolfboy run 4 DAYs. LEFT.

okay, I understand this was probably not the intended point of this ask, but it is too late. you have activated my trap card. we are talking about Slugcat Worldbuilding Headcanons now.

(Spoilers ahead for… basically every campaign.)

For Hunter: I imagine "Hunter" is more of a nickname, and that NSH normally refers to them more as his courier or messenger. I tend to call them "Hunter" for writing convenience (even in their own POV, so far), but they don't really call themself that much. They have a lot of identity issues tied up in being created for a Very Specific Purpose and not really knowing how to think of themself outside of it; they're a divine messenger, but that's not really a name. Until their purpose is fulfilled, they don't think about themself as a person often enough to actually consider things like names.

For Survivor: I like the headcanon that slugcats (at least in Surv/Monk/Gourm's colony) are given simpler names as pups, and sort of "earn" a more descriptive title/adult name as they mature. In my usual read of them, they would have just been "white/pale one" when they still lived with their colony, and gave themself the name "Survivor" some time after their fall.

For Monk: their pup name, which they have during their campaign, is something like "yellow one", and they don't earn a title until later. Even then, they aren't ever "Monk" in-universe, as slugcats don't quite have an equivalent social structure or role for that term to translate directly. The name they take instead means something more like "pacifist" or "gentle/wise/peaceful one", though there are some loosely similar social connotations to early Ancient society's version of monkhood, with implications of spiritual attunement, insight, and vague otherworldliness.

For Artificer: I imagine this name to be a matter of in-universe translation jank. Their actual name is something closer to "crafter" or "clever one that makes things" (again, connotations are tricky to translate!), but those simply do not possess the same pizzazz. The Scavengers also call them "Red Death" or sometimes "Red Mother", which ends up becoming a sort of mythological figure later on, like a Scavenger boogeyman. Future slugcat colonies end up sort of adopting back the mythology of the Red Mother as a protective deity/spirit, so they mostly call her that in the future. "Red" was probably their pup name, too.

For Spearmaster: Seven Red Suns calls them "messenger" and "07" -- I like to think the former becomes a nickname (their character designer, Faeling, headcanons SRS calling them "Messy" as a nickname/diminutive which I think is adorable), but Spearmaster themself might have adopted the latter too at some point, maybe almost like a family name, because they like that it connects them to Seven Red Suns. I also figure that other wild slugcats might have various nicknames for them, especially since SM would have no easy way to introduce themself -- and the name "Spearmaster" might come from that, actually! But I also like the idea of a future folktale version of them similar to with Artificer, with various names depending on the opinions of the colony/culture in question: "Cousin Thorn-tail", "the Spear-sapper", "the Drinker", and so on.

For Gourmand: again, I imagine this as a case of translation jank, and whatever they're called has slightly different connotations, though I'm less decided on what it should actually be. "Gourmand" is just so… specific? I feel like whatever they've got going on should be equally untranslatable, though. It's something along the lines of "appraiser" and "crafter" and "skilled forager", with this implication of like… knowing about valuable/desirable things and how to find/make them, and also having a strong personal taste for them? "Connoisseur", almost? But not quite as fancy. Their pup name was just "big one", though -- pup Gourmie wasn't quite the absolute unit they are as an adult, but they were definitely always a big slugcat.

For Rivulet: I like the idea this really is just their name! Little-stream-of-water! It's actually their pup name, but they left their colony before coming of age (ran away to become an adventurer), and never really found a title they liked. They think Moon calling them Ruffles is cute, but it's definitely just a nickname.

For Saint: the name does translate directly, not because slugcats have a concept of sainthood, but because the title they gave themself is the literal term taken from the Ancients. I headcanon that they were raised by or around an iterator and know a lot of The Lore, and sorta borrowed some of these concepts for how they see themself… a sort of divine sufferer bringing peace to others, martyring themself for the sake of mercy. Their pup name was just "tongue" or something, though, if they had one at all.

[goodluckclove]

John Green's Thoughts on Adulthood: A Post-Mortem Analysis

So I was thinking about the time years and years ago, back when writer John Green was more active on Tumblr. Someone asked if he would ever write a book about adults, and his perspective were that adults were boring.

There's mixed physical evidence online. I remember seeing it, the first line of the ask was captured on a Buzzfeed article from 2013. I couldn't find the actual ask, because from what I've heard at some point John Green was torn apart with such intensity that he is now just a collection of atoms. And I don't hate John Green. I liked his books when I was also young. I watched the VlogBrothers. If I met him in an author space I would thank him for introducing me to NaNoWriMo when I was in middle school.

And then I would ask if he was doing okay. Like - emotionally? Because the shit she said in that ask is some of the saddest I have ever heard in my life. I'm using this Wordpress post as a reference of the rest of what he said and I just want to go through why it's just such a fucked and dangerous thing to say as an author who advocates for young people.

Follow me!

“Would you ever write a YA novel where an adult plays a key role? I know you like to leave the focus around the teenagers and their “peer relationships… but I was just wondering if it had ever crossed your mind.”

That was the ask. Fairly reasonable! And John Green responded immediately with the following:

I mean, to be totally honest with you, I don’t really give a shit about adults.

This on its own is a massive self-report. Not to any sort of crime or character flaw. In my mind, it's part of the reason why I feel like a point where big enough online figures, writers included, either need a PR team or a LOT of therapy. But he continues.

Like, all of my friends are adults. My spouse is an adult. My parents and brother are adults. I know and like many adults. But I don’t want to write for them. Or God forbid about them. They’re just so…boring. It’s like, “Oh I have a mortgage. I buy six pairs of identical khaki pants at a time. I take care of children and watch the television program CSI.” I admire people who can make that crap into the stuff of interesting fiction, but…yeah. No.”

I am angry. I am very angry. If someone said this shit to me in person I would make a face. If we were sharing a space with anyone under the age of 21 I would immediately say "you need to shut the fuck up right now jesus christ".

The thought of a writer who really made his whole brand caring for youth telling them that their future is inevitably dull and unremarkable, especially when you deal with themes of suicide and mental illness, is actually one of the most artistically unethical things I can think of at the moment. I understand that John Green struggled with untreated OCD for very long time, so there's a chance this could actually just be him voicing an intrusive thought that honestly terrifies him.

But he's wrong. We know this, right? Including the adults on here who complain about the tedious aspects of adult life? We know that in a majority of cases it is generally better to be a legal adult than a minor? If you are someone who would go back to being in high school because you maybe had less responsibilities, are you really prepared to lose bodily/legal/societal autonomy?

Like I struggle in life. Sometimes I've struggled a lot. But at my worst, when I was unemployed and flat broke and I couldn't even sell my blood because I took Lithium, if someone told them they could magic me back to being 16 years old again I would scream in their face until they left.

Also, I have a mortgage. It's not boring. Mortgage and insurances are, in fact, pretty confusing and something you have to learn and research. The most boring part about my mortgage was the thirty minute meeting I spent signing paperwork, and once I did that I owned a house with my wife.

Young people who see this - there are going to be boring parts of your life. That's a thing that happens, and sometimes you'll actually be grateful for it. You aren't boring for being thrilled that there's a sale on khakis if you're buying them for a theatrical production, or donating them to a war relief effort, or you're using the fabric, or if it allows you to save money and time in a way that means you get to have a smoothie or something later.

I cannot speak for the experiences of people with higher support needs than I have. But I did talk about this to a friend with higher support needs, and they agreed that being an adult rules. There is a point in which you are no longer an extension of your family or upbringing and it is your life.

It's not always fun. It's scary and confusing and lonely. I had to learn a lot of what my parents never taught me. Adults are always learning things. But since I graduated high school, the only boring period of my life has been the times where I overworked myself into a breakdown and was forced to recover.

And, considering where John Green is now, that kind of explains his perspective a lot.

I hope he figures stuff out. There's no age limit to having to figure stuff out. We're all going to have to do it a lot in our lives.

[salaapaoo]

I just read His Brothers keeper and it was sooooo good and now I'm on a lcf/tcf rampage and need more reccomendations. Would you be able to reccomend some the more angsty the better :D

Ooh!!! Hmmm ... Big think....

Shadows in the dark by Luciel (SoulStuckInSomeday)

**this one may be really triggering. Make sure to read the tags beforehand! It's kind of like... Krs wakes up in Cale's body and has to relive memories, but there's a major blank and he's going through his diary to remember?? It involves SA, so please be aware before reading!!

**also includes suicide ideation

24,928 words, 8/11 chapters

Fire and Ashes by Cakeoholic

This one is from Raon's pov of before his rescue !! Very interesting, I enjoyed it a lot!! There hasn't been too many fics that try to show this as much ?? Or maybe I haven't really found them?

4,669 words, 1/1 chapters

When somebody needs you by lostintheclouds321

If you're looking for a longer fic!! This one is Eruhaben/Cale in a more modern world? But they're both basically fated to die and it's mentioned p early on (terminal illness, etc). It's rly fun to watch Cale deteriorate !!

23,457 words, 2/2 chapters

The heir of blood by Thursdays

This!! This one is by the same author as his brothers keeper! But this fic is about Hong and his past and his abilities! Hong whump!!!

**may be triggering because it includes self harm

6,940 words, 1/1 chapters

Familia ante omnia by shadowlancer_95

This one is if things went differently in that fight against dorph and sayeru >:) if you enjoy Cale whump and blood then this one might be for you!!

10,153 words, 2/2 chapters

I don't know if I should miss you, but I know I never cared by corvidaes

This is Vicross' pov on memories from when Cale was younger :0 !! I'm honestly really weak for their relationship/bond and I wish there were more fics similar to this!

2,008 words, 1/1 chapters

Overcoming the past by unknown_writer_fan

This one!! I really loved! I feel like it doesn't get too much attention or interraction because there aren't a lot of tags on it? But it's a kid fic where they find a mirror and it has this ability to show people their past selves. They're all intrigued and looking, but when Cale goes in front of it, it shatters and you get krs !! So it's about their interractions w him and learning about his past :D I'm WEAK for the deaged fics ... We need more!!

27,220 words, 11/11 chapters

Really good at being good at goodbyes by ferret_in_a_lake

This one hasn't updated in a while, but !! Very interesting concept! I look forward to when the author makes a come back w it!! Basically, it's if everyone died except Cale and the kids and god of death sends them back in time to fix it !! Parental Eruhaben!!!

*the author does have a note saying that they might not update or finish this though

13,276 words, 1/? chapters

This time around by thisisvee

This is probably one of my top faves that I look forward to them updating the most!! It updated yesterday and I screamed fjdkfkd

But it's basically, krs wakes up as Cale Henituse's son and you see Cale from his pov!! Cale is .. misunderstood (imo), and each chapter you find out more and more about why he behaves a certain way and hidden trauma!!

**references to SA, there's some memories?? I'd say past grooming?? Cale's getting better though!! Make sure to read the tags .

I really love this one because of the way the bond between Eytan (this is krs' new name) and Cale!!

42,730 words, 19/? chapters

For my past, a tribute from your future self by chatartic_chaos

This one is if Cale is sent to the future!! But he wakes up .. in a coffin, and how the others react!!

12,606 words, 6/? chapters

Dive deep (too deep) by cywscross

This one is about Cale's ability, record, and how he overuses it sometimes and it triggers a response >:)

5,445 words, 1/1 chapters

Poison in my veins (sacrifice in my bones) by cywscross

THIS !!! THIS ONE IS A MUST READ!! this one is if Cale gets poisoned and it specifically targets people w ancient powers!!! UUUGHH THE WHUMP!!!! IT HURT SO GOOD!!!!!!! I think you should just.. dive right in. Get hurt.

13,045 words, 1/1 chapters

Big shoes (little footprints) by hurricanelights

This is another deaged Cale fic where they get lil krs!! I gotta reread it but from what I remember it was smth like everyone knows him for being a certain way (strong, giving, resilient, etc) but they learn of his past where he was smaller, weaker, and he what he went through!!

70,659 words, 17/17 chapters

Rebirthia=protocol/. by mishamoonberry

THIS ONE IS IF CALES HEART STOPS BEATING EVERY TIME HE USES AN ANCIENT POWER!!!!! DELICIOUS!!!! AAHHGHHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHGHHHHH!!!!!! Just go... Go read it.

22,752 words, 1/1 chapters

Peace? ㅋㅋㅋ aka Kim Rok Soo's Chaotic Past Reaction by redcosmos

Eheheje just as the title says!! Reaction fic to his past >:)

6,545 words, 4/10 chapters

Bastards by kariselverrie

This one is if ogcale was brought back to the past, but at the same time, krs is transmitigated in as his twin brother !!

35,912 words, 16/? chapters

Meteor showers by mini_asteroid

This one... Honestly hurt my feelings. Its kinda like... Raon goes out on an adventure, but he forgets how quick time passes.

2,863 words, 1/1 chapters

Dandelion's latibule by senaria

This... UuYgGGhh this one is if Cale loses everyone and goes back in time to fix it, but tries to keep a distance... uuuUUGghhh. It harmed me!!!

41,432 words, 17/? chapters

The ghost in the well by commandercale

This one is if things went wrong and Cale died, but then he wakes up as tboah cale !! Except he's a ghost stuck in a well.

**it can be triggering?? Because there's some scenes that reference his torture and I'm p sure his corpse is mentioned a bit ??

14,582 words, 10/10 chapters

Kim rok soo's guide to survival by pendwelling

This one !! I love this one a lot! It's kinda like if krs is put into Choi Han's shoes ??? As in he wakes up in the forest >:)

I love his interractions w lil ogcale!! And the meeting between him and the Molran's!!

This one hasn't updated in a while, but I am patiently waiting !!!

25,761 words, 4/? chapters

In accordance by pheenick

This!!! Ughhh!!! This one is if ogcale was a regressor and he's trying to change things, and sometimes he doesn't. I loved seeing him lose hope!!! Hmm a comparison... This is kind of like kagerou project - heat haze days !!! He dies and it restarts in the same spot and no one else remembers!!! UUUGGHHH!!!! LOVE

19,301 words, 2/2 chapters

And haha... Maybe.. you can check out my stuff ..? 🫣

Puppy teeth is abt Ron and Vicross having to watch ogcale lose himself in his own grief ?? There's a follow up fic called 00:00 !!

You're still a traitor is from basen's pov of his relationship w ogcale!! He resents him, but he loves him.

With a passing rain is w Cale and the kids and they make some memories !! :D

Wow... 24 recommendations ... Oop

But if anyone else has some recs, feel free to drop them in the replies or smth!!

[whiteoutzz]

Please give me your insights/headcanons on whiteout I want to understand her more but I don't really have a lot of headcanons on her. I can't just get a grasp on her character and come up with anything that makes sense (I also don't want to accidentally be ableist when headcanons stuff for her especially since I got into writing and I don't want to write something accidentally ableist.)

Ummm i was not really sure how to approach this one, but ill try! I think its alright to not understand her as a character, as we don't even get to know her that well.

From the surface level things I guess: She is subdued at quiet and had atypical way of speaking and thinking. She likes art and has hard time relating or understanding other dragons, but we briefly see her in comfortable environment, showing that she does have specific confidence to her. And... yeah that is not everything, but alot of it is. Truth be told, we dont know much about Whiteouts internal life.

I think what makes her click to me, is understanding that the text purposefully makes her unknown. If its good or bad writing choice i dont know, but we do get few references to how Whiteout is much more aware of things going on. Depth implied but not explored, left to readers interpretation.

But ignoring what i think of this writing choice, it does serve its purpouse. There is a barrier between Whiteout and other dragons, even dragons she loves. She does not understand them, and might never be able to understand some things, but she is also probably aware of the upcoming doom. She is observant after all, atleast with specific things.

Note. Alot of the things say there this are speculation and im not fully sure if they were intended to be read that way. Because we dont know alot about her, so im just filling the gaps.

Okay so. she watches her brother slowly spiral away, and maybe she always knew that was going to happen. In general her life is pretty miserable, and i dont think she is exactly satisfied with that. With art she creates, while its her interest, its also a coping mechanism, imagining of a better future. Before Thoughtful she doesnt have any real friends beside her brother. (i know that before darkstalker assassination she hangs out within his friend group and plays boardgames but i think while they are on positive relations, i dont think she is fully friends with them. They are friendly but not friends you know?) Id imagine them (Whiteout and Darkstalker) being closer when younger, as they had only eachother, but as Darkstalker is "one going wild" she is left behind in his shadow.

She is used to feeling like not a real person (dragon). She is just an accessory to others, watcher of pseudo god dragons tearing the world apart. Everything is slipping away from her, and soon she looses her family and is left alone with Thoughtful.

Whiteout in general lacks autonomy, both in text and within the story itself. She does not make things happen, but things happen to her. She has no say in the game other dragons are playing.

And i do think she is frustrated by this, it slowly showing overtime.

Also one aspect that intrigues me, but chapter two, before Whiteout hatches. Obviously its biased since its baby Darkstalker pov, but the "Whiteout does not hear the moons" thing. Her either not caring enough or not being aware of the silver right. It shows contrast between her and her brother, with her not desiring power, or maybe feeling apathy towards her place in universe (okay this one might go little far as speculation goes but whatever). It makes you wonder how Whiteout would be if she was 3moons born animus, but that is left for aus to speculate on.

As for heacannons um. Alot of them are mostly minor projections for me, like her having chronic pain or ocd or a lazy eye or whatever. Also shes autistic, obviously, but with her coding its. Yeah she is not canonically autistic but she very much reads as so.

But she also canonically has synesthesia, which i dont have. So um.

Also im sorry but i would need specific examples of headcanons you have for her, but you are probably good, but also i dont know since i dont have any example of that. Umm.

Is this good enough of a response?

[beevean]

Some ideas on how I'd personally write Lenore. for future reference?

We keep the trait that she's the black sheep of the sisters, who don't take her and her job seriously. Maybe they don't even speak to her often, judging by Striga's ill-fitting jab about her supposed "romantic" nature. Perhaps we could see her act in different ways, tougher in the council and softer with Hector. This establishes her as a seasoned liar: we never know if she's sincere or not.

Unlike Hector, who seemed to be blissfully unaware of how much Dracula and Isaac looked down on him, Lenore is more than aware of being seen as "weird" and "weak". However, she prides herself on being needed, as a balance for the others.

We also keep that she is "compassionate" towards animals (and humans), and that she has experienced war as a child, which left her with a desire to be a benevolent ruler.

tl;dr: she is superficially kind, but has no empathy, and her priority is the council's wellbeing and desires. She and Hector share this trait of very misguided, ultimately selfish mercy. He needs love, she needs to feel good about herself.

We emphasize the implication that she clings on her humanity. She's shown eating food despite not needing it (maybe she feels ill?), she insists on the importance of diplomacy and how violence and conquest should be last resorts, and she seems fascinated by human culture, in the same way Hector is fascinated by vampire culture. However, she also comes off as condescending - think Rose Quartz when flirting with Greg.

(bonus: she struggles with her vampiric instincts. Show her resisting the temptation to bite Hector, not wanting to frighten him. Show her resisting the dark thoughts that he's nothing but meat to devour and a warm body to fuck.)

Hector falls for her diplomacy because she is (seems) genuinely kind. She's apologetic for his conditions, she seems really eager to help him as much as she can. She's not smug at all, although she points out the holes in Dracula's logic and tries her best to paint Carmilla as a better mistress. No pet play. When Hector attacks her, she does her stunt of leaving him alone for a week then acting scared around him, to make him feel guilty and dependant on her. In short: her manipulation is more emotional, and it hits Hector's weak spot, his need to be loved.

No rape. They never have sex. Lenore slips that ring as they're talking, and Hector accepts of his own volition to be loyal to her. He still feels betrayed, though, as that act confirms he'd been played again and Lenore is no different than Carmilla. Even worse if Lenore goes to gloat about her victory to the sisters in that "cruel vampire" way, bonus if we keep the "the real people are talking" line. She apologizes for speaking about him so rudely in private, but at that point he refuses to listen to her.

Their interactions at the beginning of S4 are awkward. Lenore tries to be friendly and even jokey (not in that childish "penis jokes" way), but Hector acts exaggeratedly professional, calls her "mistress" and is clear that he's full of resentment. Lenore is frustrated and asks what more does he want. Hector refuses to answer. No more will he shown weakness. Bonus if he makes a cruel joke asking when she's going to fuck him, since clearly he's nothing more than a toy. (to be fair, being the only man in the clutches of predatory women could put some fears in his mind... especially if he was abused as a child.)

Lenore's love language is being clingy and possessive. She won't leave Hector alone. She genuinely thinks that tying someone to you is showing care for that someone, much like Carmilla did. She's growing fond of Hector, his wit and his knowledge on black magic, and she doesn't understand why her affection isn't reciprocated. She's treating him well, isn't she? Why is he so moody?

We keep Lenore's fears about growing useless in Carmilla's big, insane scheme. Finally, she opens up about her worries to Hector, and this is what makes him warm up to her. He understands that she only acted out of loyalty, but now they're in a similar position: he understands, on his own, that it's no so different from his position as the unfavorite in Dracula's court. It's not enough to become friends, but the two now can at least be civil towards each other. They're the first to do so. Maybe Hector opens up himself about his past and how he now feels about Dracula.

When Isaac attacks the castle (Hector did not participate in that stupid plan to revive Dracula), Hector and Lenore decide to go stop Carmilla together. However, Lenore still wants to reason with her. Hector wants to kill her 🙂 he and Isaac do so. Whether Carmilla kills herself or not is honestly irrelevant at this point, but she's dead and Lenore, once again, feels powerless. Hector cutting his own finger hurts her even more: she wants to see it as him gaining the freedom he deserves, but her vampiric instincts tell her that it's him refusing to be with her.

When she effectively becomes Isaac's captive, she starts to understand why Hector never grew fond of her; she could never love that bastard who stole her home and destroyed her existence. She's horrified at the realization. She knew that she had to hurt Hector to give the sisters what they asked of her, but she understands that not only it was worse than she imagined... it was all for nothing. They never cared about her. She starts to wonder if she could ever be a good person.

The suicide scene is kept, but it's clear that it's because Lenore feels terrible about herself and her own nature, nothing about not wanting to be in a cage since in theory she could just wait for Isaac to die. When she suns herself, she dies horrifically just like Dracula did - behind her prettiness and good intentions, she really was nothing but a vampire at her core.

bonus: Hector, who has learned to appreciate his own humanity more, decides to travel and meet more people, so that he won't resort to beg for scraps of kindness anymore.

[lesbiamano]

AN INTRODUCTION TO "The Loving River", AKA Nazya's story!!

this story takes place in a historic setting in iraq, no specific years (for now) so everything here is subject to some change in the future.

this post is just an introduction to the main stuff and characters in the story! (all under cut, and fair warning, its a lot)

Shanya Al-Malaika:

shanya is a 29 year old poet, going by the pen name "Ta'abata Sharan" and taking on the image of a man so she can comfortably write about her love for nazik, and to be taken more seriously in the world of poetry. she is the mortal daughter of the goddess shaahida, also referred to as "The Witness", and ill be explaining more about her and her lore later.

to make a long story short, shaahida never wanted a child, and so shanya's coming into the world was a complete accident, and to shaahida, a shameful mistake. with that, she sends off newborn shanya to live with her aunt, saabira, another goddess, this one referred to as "Patience". saabira had a mortal husband and five mortal children with him, so the choice to send shanya there was easy. shaahida was sure saabira, with all her patience and knowledge of children, would be able to take care of shanya better than shaahida ever could. but of course, if she was going to give away shanya like this, shed have to gain something out of it too. she slashed baby shanya across the mouth with her divine nails, drawing blood, and leaving a scar. a tie between them both, stronger than their familial connection. wherever shanya was, shaahida would be able to keep watch, and when the time comes, shaahida would be able to use shanya as the vessel for her plan (which i'll discuss later,, maybe.)

shanya lives with saabira's family for most of her life in dhi qar, where she meets nazik, a girl around her age, and eventually, falls for her. the two are worlds apart though, for while saabira prefers to live humble and poor despite her divinity, making shanya live as a young sheep herder, nazik came from a wealthy family. middle upper class, to be exact. one day, however, nazik leaves dhi qar suddenly, and without much explanation, leaving shanya all alone. what made it all worse was this coming directly after a major fight/argument between the two. (this is insanely simplified, for a lot of stuff happens between them here.)

shanya continues to live with saabira, until the age of 16. when one day, as she on the carriage of saabira's oldest son, shaheen, she began to tinker with the oud guitar he always had with him. she strummed a few notes and smiled to herself, preparing to play a small tune. the carriage soon hit a bump, and the oud, with all its heaviness, slipped out of shanyas hands and fell off the carriage, tumbling down into the nearby river, and breaking. shaheen went off the rails at this, screaming at shanya about how expensive the oud was, and going as far as slap her and push her out of the carriage, telling her to walk home instead. its then, when shes trying to walk home, in the most vaguest in terms, she ends up dying. very unfortunate, and a horrible look for shaheen.

shaahida oversaw all of this. she was angered, not as a mother would be for a daughter, but a creator to a vessel. she transforms her own body to shanyas likeness, and makes it, in a way, a vessel for shanyas spirit to reside in for the time being. making daughter and mother, one and the same.

after saabira realizes what had happened, shanya's death, shaahida's work, she is frightened, and she does not tell shanya of what had truly happened to her. instead she grabs her and takes her towards kirkuk, where hashim, her uncle, and saabira and shaahidas brother, resides. hashim the god, also referred to as "The Punisher". after learning of what had happened to shanya, hashim takes her in, almost like his own daughter, and he is the one who teaches her of poetry and art and whatnot.

it is also hashim who sends 29 year old shanya out of kirkuk and to baghdad, along with her cousins, the twins jamil and jameela (also saabira's children), to gain more knowledge and more inspiration after she finds herself in a writing block. and that is where shanya meets nazik again after so long, which kickstarts the main story.

Nazik Al-Khafaji:

nazik is the 30 year old eldest daughter to jasim al-khafaji and his university sweetheart, nadeen. young nazik worked in a library with her mother until she was 14, before becoming a 'healer' or a doctor later into her adulthood. she has a younger brother, azra, only 4 years younger. nazik's mother had been a worshipper of saabira, one of the saabiroon, and as such, nazik aligned herself with that sect of worship too. and when push comes to shove, as an adult, nazik realizes she had been blessed by saabira with the power of healing. specifically, healing people with her own blood, something she couldve used much, much earlier.

jasim's family was quite a rich one, and yet, he distanced himself from them and went against his own family's wishes by marrying nadeen, and as such he did not inherit much of their wealth at all, and all the wealth naziks family did have came entirely from his own hard work and businesses in gold selling and jewelry making. nazik's family was originally from baghdad, however after jasim's falling out with his family, they packed their bags and moved to dhi qar when nazik was 6 and azra was 2, which is, of course, where nazik met shanya.

nazik quickly found herself enjoying shanya's company, and even introducing shanya to her brother, for a chance to get the girl to step out of her shell and meet new people, for nazik had noticed how lonely shanya seemed to be, with how all of her cousins were decades upon decades older than her, and having no free time to spend with her at all. nazik found herself skipping many of her classes to be with shanya, almost getting caught by her father many times, but she simply could not get away from her. in her free time she brought shanya books to read with her, though most of the time she sat by and listened to shanya play the oud, yes, the one she often borrowed from shaheen. nazik hadnt realized it, but she had fallen for shanya, hard and deep. one day, after returning home later than she should, after spending a night with shanya, she came back to find her mother dead. nadeen had been sick for years now, but nobody had expected her to die so suddenly. naziks life changed overnight. in the morning, she went to visit shanya one last time, a meeting which resulted in a huge useless argument, before nazik ran off, going home to finish her packing. that night, her, her brother, and her father took a carriage all the way to baghdad. she left shanya with no last goodbye, no last hug, and that is her one regret, though she does not blame herself.

jasim never quite made up with his family, his parents however begrudgingly gave him an estate to own in baghdad, which they settled in. as an adult, nazik was practically the only one working in the house. jasim had given up on life and on fatherhood after nadeen's death, forcing nazik to mother her own brother, and to grow up faster than she shouldve. and while jasim was useless, azra picked up traveling as a hobby, untied and free of all burdens, he was almost never home, and always off doing his own thing outside of iraq, leaving nazik to labor on her own, completely oblivious to the exhaustion she was facing, for she hid it all from him.

nazik, of course, has her own set of people in baghdad, and one of them was a pen pal, jameela, who she did not recognize as shanyas cousin, and whom she had urged to come to baghdad to meet. jameela had of course come to baghdad with her twin brother jamil and her cousin shanya. however, shanya and nazik would not stumble upon eachother until much, much later after shanyas coming to baghdad.

Shaahida (Al-Malaika):

shaahida, the witness, was the second born goddess from "The Creator", coming only after her eldest sister, huda, "The Gift". sources speculate she was born from The Creator's left eye, to bear witness over humanity, and to help her brother, hashim, the punisher, who was born right behind her, in trials, so he may adequately punish both mortals and their divine siblings alike.

of course it must be explained that The Creator is the one true god of the universe, having created it all with humans and all. in their divine eternalness, they split themselves into 99 different pieces, and the one last 100th piece would be created when all 99 pieces set aside their differences and finish their business on earth, and come together to create a new "creator". which is to say, the 99 lesser gods created were much weaker in comparison to The Creator, having a limited set of skills, and being very close to human like with their feuds and problems and personalities. some say there is no way all 99 of them would ever come together to become whole again, for each of them held such wildly different ideologies, and often butted heads with eachother. sometimes mortals wonder if they truly did come from one beings.

each god has their own set of followers that follow certain rules for worship. some gods have easier rules than others, some want all the worship, some want none. while, worshipping one god means you believe in the existence of the 98 remaining, it does not necessarily mean you believe in their coming together again to be one, and it does not mean you believe in them coming from one being. those beliefs depend on the individual and the family they hail from. there is however another religion made from these using all these factors (believing in all gods, their coming from one being and their eventual unity) called "Istiqbal", in the way that its followers await the future for the 'inevitable' unity of these gods.

that being said, shaahida was never one to love her job. as the witness for the punisher, she did not last long. she kept it up merely 3 millennia before giving it up, opting to wander the world meaninglessly for a few couple of centuries, before settling in a temple and watching people worship at her feet all day. along the way, she found herself obsessing with a mortal girl, a girl named batool, and a worshipper of hers. she possessive as much as she was obsessive, and batool did not by any means hate the attention. until one day, when she revealed to shaahida that was to get married to a man soon. of course, that angered shaahida greatly, and with her anger came eyes on them, and the public soon found out about their situation. it was not homosexuality itself that was forbidden, but the act of mingling with mortals at the time was. hashim came, with his divine punishment, and stoned them, though whether he truly wanted to or not was debated. some even said he had someone else come and punish them in his stead. shaahida was hung up and stoned for a whole year, before her mortal lover which of course died before her. after her punishment, shaahidas reputation was tainted forever. humans misunderstood the punishment, thinking it for homosexuality, and quickly forbid it. which, in turn, made shaahida a symbol for homosexuality, and specifically, lesbian love. she would gain a few followers for this, though not many, and all worshipped her in secret. for the next few centuries or millennia, shaahida wandered aimlessly amongst the earth in a disguise, though she did not dare get close to any mortal during that time.

until one day, it suddenly became allowed to get with mortals. a lot of time had passed, and most of her siblings had slowly but surely been becoming more lax on many things. it was frustrating, to think that if her and batool's love was delayed a few mere centuries, it wouldve blossomed to fruition.

shaahida let herself out again, and began to mingle once more with the mortals. she met a writer one day, a man who calls himself abd al sahib. without knowing of her divinity, he spoke to her of his want to write a book about the witness. she smiled, thinking it was flattering. the two got closer, though she did not love him in the way she loved batool, nor in the way lovers loved eachother. he however, was obviously in love and head over heels. and he was not stupid, he soon learned of her divinity and her being the subject of his book, which only made him get closer to her. a series of events unfolds, many that were out of shaahidas control, and she finds herself bearing a child, a mortal child, shanya. for the first few months she had not truly processed it, until one day abd al sahib pointed it out, grinning with pride at the fact that he had impregnated her. her actions next had been a long time coming, she had enough. she killed abd al sahib, which, of course, was a sin. for gods could not murder their subjects and humans in general. it was fine however, for she hid all the clues. and when she brought shanya into the world, she was disgusted. not specifically by shanya, but the events that led up to her birth.

she sends shanya away and goes into hiding, hoping hashim would not find this out.

she loses herself completely in this loneliness and new found hopelessness she has dug herself into, and thinks the only way to get out of it and to be free is to simply become the new creator, to end the world prematurely. and maybe shanya was simply a tool given to her by the world to achieve this.

with that, her loneliness is broken only slightly, and only briefly by her meeting a new woman. nadeen. they got close over a short period of time in baghdad, before shaahida realized nadeen was already married, and already had a few month old daughter. it was shortly after this realization did nadeen leave for dhi qar with her husband and daughter, and shaahida never had much of a chance to see her again. and there she returns to solitude.

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and thats all for now! this is barely even half of the story, but again, its just intros, and it's already so long so i dont want to add more. i know not many will read all of this anyway so ive only written this for myself so its easier for me to see the info of my own story here. anyway! heres some art for the characters mentioned!

nadeen (left) and batool (right)! this is all i have for now! if youve made it this far, tysm for reading!

[silawastaken]

the way it genuinely brought tears to my eyes as i finished the last chapter of the soulmate au. like??? this fic has been my LIFE for the past couple months and seeing the update always made my week 😭.

though I actually cannot wait to see whatever else you write, especially the spinoff and two slow dancers!!! (i haven’t read chapter 1 of the spinoff yet but i WILL right after i finish writing this)

and i’ve also met some amazing people through this fic which is crazy to me because if i didn’t click on this work that one day i was scrolling through ao3 what would’ve happened?? it’s just so insane to think about honestly…and the discord?? everyone on there is so nice it feels like such a welcoming little community. even just going through and reading all the messages brightens my day.

I SWEAR one day i will bind this fic and dedicate some sort of shrine to it on my bookshelf. i will recommend it to anyone and everyone i come across. i will think about it from years to come. i will dedicate my future successes to this beautiful piece of literature.

maybe i’m a little obsessed but hey. the emotions i experienced whilst reading this were unparalleled and it HAS made an impact on my life and myself as a person. (me and my bsf make a bunch of inside jokes and refs about this all the time like ill fall asleep on call and she’ll go “omg dazai and chuuya from the soulmate au!!”)

just sayin people can shame fic readers/writers all they want but some things i’ve read on ao3 are literally published book quality and they have NO idea what they’re missing out on.

ahh sorry for my rant i just wanted to get this out there :D time to go read the spinoff!!

I'm surprised I'm not completely emotionally wrecked like ??? This has been my life for months as well, I've spent so much time on this it's insane, updating was always my favourite part of the day. I really do hope you like the rest of what I write, as much if not more than the soulmate au, though I don't think I'll ever get better than this tbh 😭

I also think about it a lot, what would I be doing if I hadn't posted the first chapter of this? If I had given up halfway? Genuinely, if it weren't for this fic, and the people I've met through it, I wouldn't be who I am, and I wouldn't be as happy or content as I am. I'd be positively miserable. Genuinely, the little community we've gathered is the best thing ever <3

If you bind this fic I'd love to see how it turns out, though a shrine does seem a little excessive lol 😭😭 but hey if you wanna recommend it I will not complain!!! You're not the only person who this fic has changed- surprisingly, because in my mind it's still the like four sentence idea in my notes app- and I also get it, I'm making references all the time 😔 i saw a tub of strawberries in the store and was jumping around in glee.

I don't think this was quite book quality, but I appreciate the sentiment 😭 I'm so glad you liked this so much, and I hope you like the spin off too <3