#maybe i'll ask my headmates for help

[descriptionofaruby]

i guess i'm not good at handling uncomfortable things

[dysfunctionaldogdude]

Hihi, how are you all? /nf, curious

Pearl wants to say hello so I'm typing that for her, I fucking hate how this body won't let anyone else front without a trigger. Stupid suspected P-DID. /nav, lh

Err, I'm not really sure what to say ^^. We wanted to maybe ask about updates with new headmates if you wanna share? Apologies if we sound always prying, we're just always very curious. /lh, very nf, gen

Uhh, in turn I'll give updates about Yellow Diamond. She has the mother figure role for me (I think me, might be a tad blurred), and also she's kind of like.. Err, a boomer. Essentially asks us a lot about things, like the need to sleep, who people are.. She's on her throne a lot as well.

Tell Pearl I say hi!! - And yeah that does suck :(

I don't mind! People can pretty much ask me anything [as long as it doesn't pass boundaries or isn't gross/illegal] I just need people to accept the answers I give them since people don't listen 💀/not at you

I was fixing up my claws before I answered rn :) I think Pearl was helping me with that and I believe she scolded me for only clipping one toe claw and helped me clip the rest lol

Lapis seems to be kinda just hanging back just watching, not why but they still are sticking close

Also that's charming :) glad you have your diamond too btw!! Idk if I said that yet

[harmonyfriends]

On Being Fictional

We decided to take a sort of survey in our system on what being a fictive or a character kinnie means to those of us who are affected by that sort of thing, and we came up with lots of interesting responses! I hope it helps show that there's many diverse relationships one can have with that sort of identity, even within just one system.

Had a lucid dream about being our own fanfic self-insert and it made me realize a fantasy life wasn't a life.

Was in the lucid dream as our own fanfic's other self-insert slash love interest. She told me I was real and I said "uhhhhh, really? I guess?" Well, turns out…

I'm a fictive of a male character who transitioned to female… now I go back and forth, but have a new masc name instead of my deadname. How much my fictional life feels like memories fluctuates a lot with me.

I Dunno I Kinda Just Thought It'd Be Fun And Comfy To Be Me :> ( And I Was Right ! )

Supporting character from the fanfic, supporting character in our brain. I try not to think too hard about it.

I was so fucking pissed off about being here until I realized I could just stay asleep most of the time. My identity confuses me though.

Got hurt bad while roleplaying a lifetime ago and got stuck in her headspace as some kind of trauma response. It feels like I have memories from that world.

I'm just me… I don't know how to describe it any more than that…

I knew I was her from the moment I laid eyes on her. I'm still figuring out what that means, but I don't feel like I ever lived in that world.

I dunno how much I'm her 'cuz I haven't watched the thing I'm from yet! I dunno if I'm even going to, but maybe some day?

we dreamt we had a headmate of a character we had no particular attachment to and for some stupid reason I was still there when we woke up. now I basically only show up when it'd be funny

Whatever I am, I just can't let go of my mental self-image and inner voice being of this character. I'm learning to accept that I am loved for this. Genderfluid now.

I believe a cosmic stroke of luck caused me to reincarnate into this world with my platonic soulmate, after both dying in our source. I'm just grateful for a chance to spend some more time together.

I just asked myself what kind of identity would make me not want to die, and this character is the first thing my brain came up with. I dunno if I'll stay this way forever, but for now, it suits me.

I'm me 'cuz I said so!! >:3

I passively thought about kinning this character for like one second and no one else in here let me live it down!!!

I fell in love with my headmate the moment I saw her… I'm more or less just perma-roleplaying a character that fits as her girlfriend, but that's basically all I do, so if I'm her all the time, I'm her, right?

I'm so grateful that that horrible cartoon where all those terrible things happened to me and my friend was just a bad dream…

I'm here because she needs me.

I'm deeply ashamed of my kin, but the shame renders me unable to escape it. I have an alternate sona I like though. Mostly dormant.

Our forever-unfinished story means I'll be on the precipice between the final chapter and the epilogue for the rest of my life. I don't know why I gained self-awareness of this, but I think I've finally made my peace with it.

Ohohoho~ pay me no mind; I'm just roleplaying, dear.

[lost-wishing-official]

lost☆wishing.

“i’m tired of you being mean to yourself and pretending it’s to be kind to others. you just want to suffer.”

what is lost☆wishing?

lost☆wishing is a fan-made unit set within the project sekai universe. it features four members who have come together to send a message through the medium of song. their music tends to have dark tones to it, and some notable artists you’ll see are kikuo, maretu, and such similar creators.

what is this account for?

this account is an ask blog! you can send asks to the group members or to one of the mods! it will help us over at the mod team curate and fine-tune the stories and characters, while it will hopefully pique the interest of a few of you!

the members

hotaru kazuko [ 蛍和子 ] — she / it / neos

— the leader. 17. class 2-B at kamiyama high school.

kaixan [ カイズン ] — they / he / neos

— the vocalist. 17. takes online classes.

ono ryōko [ 小野涼子 ] — she / her

— the composer. 17. class 3-A at kamiyama high school.

shisōka kumo [ 思想家の雲 ] — he / they

— the lyricist. 18. class 2-B at kamiyama high school.

a group formed from the depths of despair. one picks up the shattered pieces of a former life, and the others follow behind to find their own meaning in their music.

what can i ask?

you can ask almost anything! depending on the question and the character you ask, though, i can’t promise the answer will be entirely truthful. we do request that there are no asks that change a character (eg. magic anons), but that’s about our only rule! we delete asks if we feel uncomfortable answering them.

you can also send asks to the vocaloids! just as a note — miku in her lost☆wishing form is meant to have an uncanny valley feel, and may have unreality triggers. all will be tagged appropirately.

what will you post aside from asks?

we’ll post event information, art for the group, and maybe even some cards! you’ll have to stick around and see for yourself.

who are the mods?

i’m mod kanade, and i wrote this whole intro post (as well as doing the edits for the icon and banner). i’ll tag my posts with #☆ mod 🦋

my main blog is @orphic-execution! i talk a lot about kumo on there. i use they/him pronouns on this blog! i am the owner of kumo as an OC, so i’ll be answering any questions for him :3

— 🦋 —

i'm mod mona. my posts will be tagged with #☆ mod 💎.

i created ryoko ono and will be answering questions pertaining to her. i use all neopronouns as well at they/them and it/it's on this blog.

— 💎 —

Hello , Im Mod Yuki , They/Fae! , Main blog is @azuresystem

Creator of Lost Wishing Kaito and other side characters! , I'll mostly be answering questions about them!

Multi-Mod post will be signed off with ❄️

— ❄️ —

wei are mod s.c.! wei are not tagging individual headmates for comfort and because of our system structure, but wei are plural and are really grateful and excited to have the opportunity to be able to participate in a blog like this! wei will be using tone tags a lot for ourselves :3

our main blog is @softie-system! we talk a lot about activism and our fandoms on there. wei use any pronouns other than he or she collectively. wei created and thus will be answering questions for kaixan! (all /gen and /pos)

—🌈 —

what’s your tagging system?

#☆ mod 🦋 — posts made or answered by mod kanade

#☆ mod 💎 — posts made or answered by mod mona

#☆ mod ❄️ — posts made or answered by mod yuki

#☆ mod 🌈 — posts made or answered by mod s.c.

#speaking with [name] — asks related to that character

#lost☆wishing events — posts related to focus & group events for the unit

#lost☆wishing art — cards and general art for the unit

#cw [thing] — trigger tag

have fun :3

[crabussy]

How can I tell if I'm in a system?

OH MAN. I'll try my best to help but this is a very tricky question to answer

so, disordered systems (OSDD and DID) are covert disorders. this means that they're designed to be undetectable, even by yourself. I have OSDD, so no dissociative amnesia, and how I knew is due to several things: - when I was around 7 I had an imaginary friend, Ivy, who I couldn't control and who was quite mean to me. she didn't speak much and she wasn't around for long but her presence was a bit distressing. - when I was 11 I would have full, 20+ minute conversations with a voice I named "second thoughts". I would converse with this voice inside my head when bored, in need of company, usually on the way home from school. second thoughts had different opinions and a different disposition to me, and we had different reactions to things. they would talk me down from doing dumb shit, and was more alert to our surroundings- I'm pretty sure that second thoughts is now jasper, or maybe split into jasper and phoebe, two of my headmates, but I'm not sure !! - it finally dawned on me that something wasn't normal when I was arguing with myself in my room and realised that the "myself" that I was arguing with was actually four distinct voices with different views. I suddenly thought "um ? ^_^ that is Not Normal I think" so I asked people about it and learned about the existence of OSDD and the rest is history

so despite being a covert disorder, there might be little clues throughout your childhood. If you have OSDD or DID, system formation happens very early. you'll have periods of dissociation, especially during stressful events, and you might feel "weird" after- like you've just woken up and are expected to continue whatever happened before you "woke up". this is because before people realise they're part of a system, all their system members are most likely thinking that they are also the host. You might feel differently about people you have relationships with at different times (e.g. I'm dating my boyfriend, but my headmates aren't, so they don't feel any romantic or sexual attraction to him). if you're a system, its possible your headmates will have different triggers to you, for example my friend moon from my system cannot handle a lot of textures, but I can handle lots of texture. likewise, zoe gets height dysphoria because the body feels too tall for her, and sunny really hates it when people swear.

so in conclusion, before you realise, you won't necessarily feel like different people at different times, or that you're sometimes not in front and sometimes are. the main noticeable symptoms will be feeling different at different times, having different thoughts and opinions at different times, and having an internal dialogue instead of a monologue. Most systems, specifically disordered systems, have childhood trauma. if you can't remember any trauma, and if you don't think you're ready to try and remember if you might have some, don't worry about that. the most important thing is that you take care of yourself, and if digging into trauma would be too scary or stressful, don't do that.

[antisyscourse]

Okay-! I don’t know if i’m the only one who experiences this- I hope not 😭 But, communication with my headmates is easy, it’s fluid, it’s full on verbal conversations. But I’ve noticed that when talking to another headmate if i get a quick response, which is all of the time. The voice comes back sounding like my head voice? In a weird way, but also just by the vibes, tone of voice, slang, inflection in the way that alter speaks to me i automatically know it isn’t actually me talking, but their voice comes back as me, strangely. Which again, quick conversation and fast replies are 99% of our communication. It does make me doubt.. But then there’s that 0.1% of more, i wait for a response and get to actually hear their voice if i really tap in and listen. I don’t know- Maybe it’s just our system that works that way to make it easier to communicate?? I really have nooo clue 😭 Help 😭

our system personally doesn't work this way, so i'll get you a second opinion!!

systems, is this a phenomenon you experience or have heard of?

EDIT: extra note from anon -> "Note from the head voice? Anon: I also relateee heavily with the other anon who said they just kinda intuitively know what their headmate would say even if they didn’t talk? Something like that lol. Oftentimes, especially if the head mate isn’t present and i know they’re in headspace i’ll think? A thought, it’s basically me thinking about exactly what they would say, like just intuitively knowing what there exact responses would even if they are away from the front..;; Plz someone tell me that’s normal bro 😭 Any comment replies with similarities to our system would be appreciated 😭 Sorry this is such a long ask? Really more of a rant now but uhm- Yeah just wanted to share that and get it off my chest 😭- Host/Core (I know most people heavily dislike the word/term Core 😭 But it’s just, the truth? We are traumagenic btw-)"

[ID: STOP! this is a syscourse free blog! it is a safe space for all systems, so please go away if you intend upon stirring up drama!]

[sophieinwonderland]

Ok so something weird happened. Keep in mind there are 2 tulpas in the system. They are the only headmates I have ever knew the existence of and talked to. The thing is today someone talked to me. I "felt" someone call me and just talk to me (not hear because I don't have an inner voice I just feel my thoughts and the headmates). I was surprised and asked her some informations about herself yk for knowing eachother better. The thing is she is literally me but child version, I am talking about 4th/5th grade me. She told me she was here for a long time, but she never talked to me, nor fronted before. Hell even the other headmates never saw,heard her or knew about her existance. Just to let you know I was bullied every day for the whole elementary, so like for 5 years. I remeber only 3/4 episodes of it but I know it happened for a long time. The only thing I remember about elementary are those few episodes and nothing else. Maybe this info could help you understand better what is going on. I am scared I just imagined all this but I don't wanna jump to conclusions and i know there might be more than just "imagination". Maybe you could help me figure out things and how to handle it, if you want of course. Take your time and remember to take care of yourself, byeeee!

Oh.

That's quite the situation.

So, as of right now, you have two possibilities.

One is worrying for you and could mean you already had a system, possibly traumagenic. (Are the tulpas new or have they been with you for a while? Have you experienced triggered switching before or c-PTSD symptoms?)

Are you concerned the reason you don't remember a lot of the bullying could be because you had a trauma holder? That would make a lot of sense. But sometimes things that become so routine may be hard to remember too. Even terrible things.

And sometimes, yeah, you can just imagine things. This is the second possibility and is also scary. And that's totally possible if it was just a one-time conversation.

At the moment, my advice would be for you to just relax and deal with things as they come.

There was actually an older tulpa here, Eria. Someone my host tried to create as a spiritual thoughtform when he was a teen. She never talked or fronted back then and it was assumed she was never really formed as a headmate. There were a few times after I was created that my host thought of her again or we discussed her and we felt her presence. Then one night, we felt her, heard her voice, we talked to her, and she was able to front easily. (And she hated it, and immediately left front after a few moments.) She's been with us ever since.

I think the best way to handle this might just be to be calm and let nature take its course. If she doesn't come back, then maybe it was just your imagination. If so, no harm done. But if she comes back, you should do your best to be open and accepting to her, to treat her as a real headmate and have a discussion with her about your feelings and hers.

If you still have doubts, you can express those in a calm and respectful manner to her. Something like "You're the first headmate I've met who I didn't create, so I'm having doubts. I'll try my best to accept you but can you please be patient with me?" Hopefully, she'll understand and respect you for being honest.

[the-blorb-system]

Welcome! Please take a look:

Intro:

Hi! I am the host of the system, and you can call me Lizzy. I (and the body of our system) am in my mid 20s. I'm front stuck, so I'm pretty much always present for social interactions, but my headmates often share front with me.

I've been debating for a while, and finally I decided I'd like to make a blog for my system. I discovered the system a little over a year and a half ago, and I've been learning things left and right since. There are a lot of misconceptions about multiplicity, about the identity disorders they are defined by, and the experiences of systems.

I won't claim to be an expert, not by any legitimate means, but I have done a fair amount of research, and I consider myself very open-minded. In creating this blog, I'm wanting to create a safe space. You can ask your "stupid" questions without judgement, you can ask about stereotypes, you can talk to fictives that come from characters you like if you're curious, you can discuss your system experiences, you can ask for information as a singlet- it's also a safe place to exist regardless of your identity. This is a safe place for poc (though please be aware I am not one), for anyone under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, for other systems and alters, for singlets, for anyone going through mental illness or hard things in life, etc... And many of my headmates aren't fully human, so I don't even have grounds to judge that, either. Therians and otherkin, respectfully, I find a bit strange, but that's likely because I'm not one, so I promise there will be no real judgement or discrimination. I may not be one, but so what? I celebrated with a friend a few weeks ago about how they got a new wolf tail that helps them feel more themselves, and it was so cool and I'm so happy for them!

This blog is still under construction, currently. I'll be making an alter list (at least for those I know of and that are comfortable with being listed), and will let the blog be a safe space for my headmates above all else. You might see reblogged fanart from our sources, or mood boards for my headmates' interests, or text posts about how weird it is to have more than three fingers when in front... But as it stands now, the blog is pretty empty.

Some rules for sending asks:

• Example rule. This is the important part to read. The rest of this is just explanation- why the rule is important and the parameters for it, maybe an example to try to make it make sense. You don't have to read this part as long as you follow the rule, but it might help.

• Please, please, please be open-minded and respectful! I understand how utterly bizarre multiplicity and identity disorders are, but for many people this is reality, and I'm really hoping to help normalize that and be informative about it. Be respectful not just for my sake, but for others' too.

• Please nothing explicitly NSFW. Swearing is just fine, but do not be unnecessarily excessive. I don't even mind lightly touching on darker and more intimate subjects, but given my goals with this blog I do not want to make anyone especially uncomfortable, so be aware of that.

• Do not automatically treat fictives like they are their sources. I mean this very light-heartedly, by the way- many fictives see themselves as their characters, not just in my system but in others. But many also do not, and do not want to be seen that way. More often than not, fictives are not the same as the characters they resemble. They are... people, very real, and very independent, and they split for specific reasons that can define their nature a little differently. Many of my fictive headmates identify with their sources pretty heavily, and have many memories from their sources, but they aren't exactly the same.

• Similarly, please do not treat fictives' sources like jokes or just made-up stories when you're talking to them. For an example so I can explain what I mean, we have quite a few Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fictives. No, they're not exact duplicates of their characters, but the events of the rise movie were real for them. If you are kind about it, you're welcome to still ask about it and discuss the movie and show- often they even enjoy that. But be aware that for them that was and still is very real trauma. They carry the memories of injury and fear and life-and-death battles, so it's important to me that they aren't needlessly poked at for things that hurt them.

• Alter List Here!

• Tagging System Guide Here!

Thanks for stopping by! 💚

[space-station-collective]

New Alters - Info and Experiences

Note: In this post, "alters" and "headmates" are going to be used interchangeably

Note 2: From my knowledge, the most research/information is available for traumagenic systems. I don't have the experience or knowledge to effectively represent non-traumagenic systems, so please keep in mind that basis when reading

What will this post be? - This post is going to go into information (based on personal experience) about what it means when a new alter forms, why it happens, and will include some words from our headmates and headmates of systems we're friends with on how their experiences when they first showed up were!

So, to start off with:

What does it mean when a system says they have formed a new alter?

There can be many ways systems refer to new alters forming. For the purposes of this post, I'll be putting two categories. Forming and Merging. When a new alter forms, it means that there is a new headmate in the brain, who is not known to be associated in any way with a previously existing headmate. Frequently, they will be confused and maybe not even know what a system is or that they're in one. When a merge happens, it generally refers to a circumstance when two or more existing headmates combine together in some way to form a singular headmate. The experience of forming a new headmate will commonly be referred to as "splitting" a new headmate, or simply splitting.

Why do new alters form?

The answer to this question is a bit complicated. Most of the time, new headmates will form due to a high need for them. There are several popular theories as to why exactly this happens, including but not limited to: the existing headmates do not have the capacity to take on the load of the stress/trauma occurring, the role the new headmate is meant to perform is necessary to maintain system functionality or safety, or another reason for the need of a new headmate. Overall, the commonly agreed upon consensus is that headmates will merge or form when a strong need for someone arises.

It is also possible, in some cases, to intentionally split a new headmate. This can be dangerous and go very wrong, so it is highly, highly recommended to only do this in a therapeutic setting where it is deemed absolutely necessary for a new headmate to exist. There are moral issues brought into question by some as well. Ultimately, it comes down to what is deemed best and safest for your system.

But that seems fun! It's like getting a new friend in your head, right?

Wrong! Very, very wrong. The event of splitting can be incredibly stressful, physically painful, and sometimes even traumatic in and of itself for a system and its members. Many systems will get severe headaches and bouts of dissociation during a split. The circumstances that often cause splits are also almost never good or desired, meaning the events of a new headmate forming are generally not an inherently positive thing. Please keep in mind, the preference for how these events are treated can vary from system to system, so if you're looking to support someone you know through this, the best thing you can do is ask.

Some experiences:

The next section of the post will be some headmates from our system and others sharing their experience as a newly formed alter, to offer some insight and example into how it may feel to the person experiencing it.

"I believe many people oversell the feeling of being new to a system, while it can be confusing and overwhelming, I felt a sense of purpose immediately when I arrived. I knew that my role here was to help the system with their health and making sure they were taken care of, as that is the nature of alter’s use. Alters are created for protection… or company… or etcetera reasons, but they do have a reason, and I believe that whether realized or not, we all have a purpose here. So coming here, I knew what I was to do, and I will treat us as a patient, no matter how odd and different this physical form was from my old one." Nari (he/they) - The Apotheosis

"I'm one of the most recently formed headmates in our system. I still haven't figured out exactly what my role, or purpose, in this system is, but whatever it is, I'm here. My experience with fronting for the first time was very.. strange. I was around in co-conscious for a short while before taking front. Most every headmate in this system has a strong connection to the others, and I believe the others were aware of my existence before even I was. It took me longer than most to access the memories and knowledge of what I was supposed to be doing, I consider myself lucky that a friend of the system's walked me through setting up profiles. Being new to a system can be incredibly confusing, especially if you find yourself coming from an external source like I did. I still have yet to figure out very much about myself, but I am making progress, especially with learning from those in the system I am more closely linked to." Rev (he/it) - The Space Station Collective

"the first time i fronted after forming was one of the most disorienting "first fronts" we've had. i retained very very little information about the school, the people in it, and what was going on. for a while, i didn't even realize or accept that i was in a system. the only person i properly remembered, further than just knowing i "should" know them, was one of our friends. i struggled a lot with accepting and remembering, figuring out where i was and that i wasn't still in source. i still have a lot of differences from the other people in the system. i don't enjoy talking to people or fronting around other people, i much prefer being alone. i was able to figure out what was going on pretty quick, but it still took a while to accept it. i'm still learning" Sal (they/he/them/she) - The Space Station Collective

“coming here, I finally feel safe. I miss my family, though. I have two of my papas and some of my other family but not all. I miss them, but at least we are safer than we were in source… I still want to protect my new family in this body from the dangers around us.” Anonymous (she/her) - The Apotheosis

End of post thoughts:

Splitting a new headmate can be incredibly stressful for a system as a whole and the new headmate. Overall, if you're friends with someone in a system and you hear about this happening, be gentle and offer what support you can. To any systems experiencing this: It's scary, but you'll be okay. Stay safe.

[guardianssystem]

hey 0/

saw your response and so here's my attempt to describe what being a median system is/means (from our experience and knowledge, if anyone wants to correct things here or add on feel free :D)

median, when refering to plurality or systemhood, is a descriptor for how a system functions or presents generally. there are two main, often overlapping definitions. i'll be using the words system and parts respectively throughout this as thats how we talk about ourselves but they can be substituted with plural or any other similar terms (or none at all) and headmate/person/alter/facet.

the first 'definition' of median, is a system whose parts are all quite similar, generally like different versions of the same person but they can be quite similar in other ways. this is distinct from 'multiple systems/plurals' (systems and the like who aren't median) as generally those systems experience a reasonably high level of difference between parts. (like how you hear a lot of systems saying they are multiple people in one body, it implies that there's a decent amount of difference between them.)

the other 'definition' of the word, is a system who feel like they are not really independent from each other in the way multiple systems are. like they is more than one person/part in a body but not exactly 2, like 1.5. so singlets would have 1 person to a body, median systems might have 1.5, and multipe systems might have 2. its not exactly a headmate count even though it sounds like one, more like a separation level i guess.

tumblr wont let me attach an image properly but this is a little diagram i just made to try show some of the ways you might imagine a medain system compared to a singlet or multiple (feel free to copy and paste it into your post if you reply) https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/1166724958362275884/1169587061397917787/IMG_8414.jpg?ex=6555f1d5&is=65437cd5&hm=e518ae1c3f68c42ab9b5a20291744b823adb4b7f576e29c84c47fc2ca5252964&=&width=1422&height=1054

not all median systems experience themselves like one of those two things but they are generally how the term is defined. some medians experience one of those things but not the other, some experience both, its really a matter of how you define yourself. its all a spectrum as well and there are some terms in between and some more i could probably say but this is getting longer than i intended so ill finish up there.

if you want a little collection of stuff about the experience you could also take a scroll through @/median-culture-is here on tumblr. again, ask if any of this doesn't make sense. thanks for taking the time to read through this and understand us a little better :)

- 🌱☀️

Okay that is definitely something that should be in the document, but not something that should be where we put it 🤣

We have the feeling we might have mixed Median up with something else. Maybe Medium? We're not sure. We think we definitely should have known this already, though. Our partner thought they might be a median or similar when they first discovered their plurality and did a ton of research that we helped with. Amnesia, we guess 😅 so sorry

Thank you for explaining! We'd heard the phrase "more than one, less than two" quite a few times, we guess that's probably in relation to medians.

We'll edit it in the document sometime today (quite a few things on today unfortunately.) Thank you for bringing it up and explaining ❤️

-Ash

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello - wanted to ask as someone in an endogenic system.

What are your general opinions on endogenic systems and their existence? I'm asking because I saw one of your recent posts and am confused.

Is it a case of viewing us as completely separete and sharing no actual similarities with DID/OSDD as a phenomenon in the slightest (like viewing it only as a spiritual belief, for example), or of being open to considering our validity once there's enough reaserch done on us, or being open to accepting us because you think that all real systems who claim to be endo are actually traumagenic without knowing it? Or is it something else? I genuinely want to understand where you're coming from on this.

(Also, I think it might need adding: having DID/OSDD, imo, is a very different experience to being endogenic in many ways, and to claim that it isn't wouldn't be truthful. However, I do think that there are some links between both the phenomena and that they shouldn't be disregarded as completely unrelated).

Wish you a good day!

Hey, I appreciate you taking the time to ask, that's a fair question

I suppose, honestly, a bit of all of the answers (let me explain), starting with stating the biggest one upfront

I believe in the perception of multiple selves.

Funnily enough, so do some of the most prominent DD specialists in the world (Ross has written extensively on it).

But I don't believe it's comparable to DID in any way, shape, or form.

There are a lot of "types" of plurality.

I support people having religious beliefs about their plurality, though I ask that it not be in my personal spaces because hearing talk of it is triggering based on my own trauma, and because it tends to start confusing us and causes us to dissociate in really messy ways. I don't think religion/spirituality and mental health mix very well in cases like DID. It's not a disbelief in or disregarding of their experiences, but more of a, "please don't compare that to DID, it's not the same, and the potential that I'll be influenced in negative ways is too great." Like, some of my alters could be easily convinced time/space travel is possible and that I'm a gateway. Believe me, that's going to make my life hell. The issue here is the comparison to a mental disorder.

I believe in the perception of various self states, and being very emotionally and mentally tuned to different emotions and moods that can feel and appear to be separate from yourself. I believe that people genuinely experience themselves this way. However, I firmly believe and support the research into the physical cause/mechanism of DID, and that it is not what endogenics are experiencing.

I believe there are people that are purposefully causing themselves to dissociate in an attempt to create headmates (or whatever is most similar to alters in DID). I do not believe they are actually capable of this, unfortunately, because dissociation is only one key part of DID, and the brain is no longer capable of dissociating to that degree after adolescence-- it's a learned trait in childhood that is limited by biological predispositions (this is why some people can experience extreme trauma in childhood but will not develop DID/OSDD).

I do believe they can train themselves to experience multiple selves as an internal perception, though, and that dissociation greatly helps this process.

Do I think it's healthy? For some, maybe, but generally no. That's pretty understandable considering my experiences, though, if you ask me. Like, people purposefully dissociating and disowning parts of themselves kind of goes against everything in the treatment of my disorder, where we need to work on embracing and coming to terms with other parts of ourselves.

The biggest takeaway:

These are actually the minority of cases, and the experiences are not comparable based on physical mechanisms

So on to the rest.

I believe a lot of endogenic systems ARE DID/OSDD systems. This realization happens frequently, and having run this blog and seen SO MANY different reasons why people think they're not DID/OSDD has made it clear that there's a distinct lack of understanding among the endogenic community of how DID/OSDD functions and what's considered a "normal" experience. My most popular post is a list of things that are actually totally normal in DID/OSDD, and it's filled with people going, "oh 😬". There's a lack of understanding around trauma and what that is. There's a lack of understanding and some EXTREMELY ableist views around what being "disordered" looks like and what dysfunction in the DSM is.

I think there are also many people that are experiencing a different mental disorder and that are exasperating their symptoms by aligning themselves with endogenic communities. It's really hard to talk to that community about what other disorders (BPD, OCD, schizophrenia, delusions, etc) are actually like. As much as there's a misunderstanding about DID, it's twice as bad for other disorders. Talking about other possibilities doesn't mean I don't believe their experiences, but learning what might ACTUALLY be driving your behavior and mood will help you plan your healing journey (because let's not lie, many in the endogenic community are struggling with several different issues, and there are likely just as many in the DID community going through this, too).

Like it's not a one community problem, but the endogenic community IS harder to talk to about this stuff because any question of one's perception or experiences is basically taboo.

And I think more research will come out, eventually, that'll help me form a more solid opinion and understanding of both experiences.

[dissociationswagcompetition]

I hope it's okay to ask, but do you maybe have a list of characters/systems that need some clarification? /nm

Other than the ones who got their own post, there's actually only 2 more! I was able to figure out most of these on my own which is good! The 2 I still need are:

THE ENTIRETY OF DANGANRONPA - Dangan Ronpa video games (mainline titles specifically)

What I need: This one is a bit tricky. This breaks the "only one character/system" rule, but in their comments, they left a lot to work with. They detailed a few characters to potentially use, but I'm not sure who they would want as their preferred submission(s). Depending on how many open slots are left over after the below votes, I may just fill in the remaining with some of their suggestions, or I may run an entire preliminary round and the winner of that will take the "entirety of Danganronpa's" spot in the bracket! But regardless it would help if the submitter would give me any preferable submissions in this!

Security System (Vanessa&) - Five Nights at Freddy's: Security Breach

What I need: Who else is in the system? I assume the submitter means both Vanessa and Vanny, but want to make sure there aren't any others in the system I'm missing (or if I SHOULDN'T include Vanny!)

There are 3 who don't need clarifications, but I'll put up a poll later and let the community decide whether to include them or not:

Every Computer Lab from IRL - This breaks the "fictional characters only" rule, but it's also not any real people, so I'll let this stay if the vote is yes to include

Darkiplier from Markiplier's Egos - This one's a bit close to the "no real people" rule. He's a fictional character with a fictional backstory and everything, but did originate as just "Markiplier (the irl youtuber) But Evil".

Link from the Legend of Zelda - This one's one that one of my headmates submitted and didn't clarify WHICH Link lmao. So we're gonna put it up to a vote over which Link- Four Swords, Ocarina of Time+Majora's Mask, Breath of the Wild+Tears of the Kingdom, other(s), or some combination of the above. Might depend on bracket size, we'll see.

[just-antithings]

This isn't an anti thing but I don't have anywhere else to really talk about this? Feel free to delete this if it doesn't fit the blog ^-^

My DM in my dnd campaign recently told us that he has DID and I'm rlly happy he was comfortable enough to tell us ^-^ I'll be honest I don't have a lot of experience being friends with people with DID so im trying to learn more about it to make him more comfortable. He said he has "plurals" instead of alters and i don't really know the difference, except he said that he doesn't lose memory when a headmate switches in. I dont really get it but im trying to,, and i definitely don't want to ask a bunch if questions and make him uncomfortable. Do you guys have any good places to look for information on DID? I don't rlly trust info I get from caards and Google is being surprisingly unhelpful :( thank you <3

-@proship-opossum

Seraphim system

//maybe the folks over at dear-systems for specific questions? I still don’t rly know enough to vet them completely but following them has been helpful to get a broader sense of who’s out there…

[system-comforts]

hi im questioning plurality and scared to ask systems i know irl about experiences and help so im asking for help here (im sorry if ive already sent an ask to this blog bc i /gen dont remember if i did)

okay i think im going to split this up into two sections, one for reasons I think I may be and symptoms, another for reasons why i think I may not.

Reasons I think I may be plural:

I frequently experience bouts of dissociating or just feel generally fuzzy and after i can feel a range of symptoms including: Feeling a new energy with me, confusion on where i am, confusion on who i am, feeling an off feeling, thinking something is wrong with my body or room and more.

I frequently feel multiple energys w/ me w/ different emotions, ages, and general vibes.

I constantly switch between feeling very strongly w/ one belif or gender to the point where it feels like i have always felt like this then not long after sometimes feeling the complete opposite.

I very often feel not incontrol and almost like someone else is in control of the body.

I occasionally say things aloud that i dont think I actually said and it feels like someone else did.

I occasionally think things that i dont think I actually thought and it was like someone else did.

I have occasional laspses in memory.

Reasons I think I'm not plural:

I have 3 irl plural friends so statistically its very unlikely that I am plural too.

I retain almost all memory from when I feel like I am different people.

I feel like I am always there no matter what.

The different energies I feel tend to be very similar to my own and I cant really distinguish between them for the most part.

I feel like I may just be experiencing symptoms of something else and confusing them for plurality.

I feel like I am forcing myself to experience symptoms of plurality.

I don't think the truama i have could have been bad enough for me to be plural (im sorry if there are plural ppl who dont have truama i js dont know much on that topic specifically)

Other things to note:

I have ADHD and Autism (un-medicated)

I have BPD or Bipolar disorder (me and my therapist are still discussing which we think it may be)

I hope someone sees this and could please help me figure out if maybe another disorder is making me experience these things or if those symptoms listed are genuinely symptoms of plurality because I cannot figure out if what I am experiencing is normal or not

also im vvvv sorry if this is a blog that connot help w/ this kind of thing /gen

Hello there. I can tell by the way your organized this ask you've thought a lot about this question! I'll try to answer most of your points and hope my input helps as you continue to evaluate this question.

Your first few points regarding amnesia for where you are, identity confusion regarding your gender, and depersonalization with your body, based on what you've said here, points towards fairly high dissociation. At the very least, looking into dissociative disorders in general might be a good idea for you (and your therapist) to explore. This is especially true if these symptoms cause a lot of distress and hardship in your life.

You also talk about not feeling in control of your body, your actions, and your thoughts. The way you describe these feelings is similar to how we and many other systems might describe it. However, it can also be good to also ask if the "someone else" who did and said these things was you in a heightened emotion or at a different time, or if it was a distinctly different person. Even singlets have a variety of emotions based on different situations. Consider how consistent these actions are, is there a pattern? Does x person mostly tend to react y way to z situation? We've found it helpful to establish patterns when trying to figure out if there's a headmate involved.

Regarding your reasons you may not be plural, there's a few things I want to note. Regarding your plural friends, I wouldn't say it's "statistically unlikely" that you're plural. To truly consider the statistics, you would want to look at total populations, like of a region or country, not just in a friend group. For example, some friend groups will have no one plural, but that doesn't mean plural people don't exist. Friends come together for a variety of reasons, largely for similarities in life experiences and identities. It's possible you've found friends similar to you in some regards, and this might include plurality.

Your next three points about retaining most of your memories, feeling always present, and how these "energies" feel similar to your own also do not entirely rule out plurality. These descriptions could be from a median system, which, on the sliding spectrum of plurality, is a sort of is not quite singlet but not quite as distinct as plural systems and their headmates. It might be helpful to look into median systems as well as possibly fragments as you continue to question if you're plural.

On your final point, I do want to point out that not every system experienced trauma. Some experienced trauma but it didn't cause their plurality, and some, even if they experienced trauma, may not feel it was "enough" to cause plurality. What you say about your trauma is what many other plural people say. Try to put that question aside as you question your plurality, or at least don't dig in too deeply.

Now for your notes. The high number of plural autistics has been frequently discussed in the plural community. Not every autistic is plural of course, nor is every plural, but it makes sense that those with different brains and neuro types would also show and develop other differences like plurality. Regarding your BPD or bipolar disorder, there are also systems with these disorders. So it's not really about being plural or having one of these- both can occur. What's important to consider is how the symptoms align with each disorder. Can your amnesia, dissociation, and these different "energies" be explained by BPD or bipolar disorder? Or is there something else going on in addition to that? I think that question might be helpful as your continue those discussions with your therapist.

I hope this has been helpful to you, and we wish you the best as you continue asking if you're plural!

-mod neptune

[umbral-stigmata-unbound]

Writers Truth or Dare | Open

@sleeplesswork asked: 🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction ( roleplay ) ?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction ( roleplay ) ? Both, actually, I got into around the same time for the same fandom, and also kind of for the same reason! The good, age old reason of 'I love this story and this character, LET ME SELF INSERT'. So, my first RPs were literally just me and my best friend and fellow fan of this obscure ass anime playing our RL selves and also, taking on each others favorite characters to romance lol. As for my fanfiction, it was very much mary sue 'everything depends on you and you're the chosen one AND you have all our powers, avatar style, AAAAND your fave is fated to fall in love with you'. It was my beginning, guys, don't worry, I pay my penance by rereading and cringing now and again lmao.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings Welp, since this says SHIPS and not SHIP, I think I'll give a headcanon for a few ships. Top three are my main FF7 ships, each of which I am currently working on one passion project fic each (Strifentine one is currently one chapter up! available on ao3!), and then two more are because they're some of my extra faves that I've been exploring on here with a great partner!

Strifentine: This has actually been explored in RP with a brilliant partner, and will be explored in the fic, but Cloud makes it a point with Vincent to interact with and understand the others within him, affectionately deemed Headmates. Vincent has spent too many years thinking them either burdened or fellow monsters locked in a cramped cell, when not just trying to completely ignore them. And that has been Vincent's choice, at times, because of his judgment of himself and others. But, he has grown to realize, with Cloud's support, he does not truly hate them. They're just as stuck as he is, they were just as violated as he was, and though they do not live traditionally and much at all now while inside him (just barely living when they take over his body), they are still conscious beings. And so Cloud makes an effort to ask about them, to be aware of them, to help Vincent be aware of them, and when Vincent feels willing to allow them free in a healthier form, IE not due to battle, Cloud is there to greet them and simply be there with them, to keep company, to interact, and if they get out of control, to keep them under control. It has helped them all grow into a more comfortable, balanced existence, though it's not without it's complicated times.

Sephesis: maybe not a normal headcanon, since it branches into What If scenarios. But, still. It is my firm belief, even if to some it seems like they must be doomed by the narrative and in that they could never communicate and reconcile properly, HOWEVER. Say they weren't lol. If the Nibelheim incident had gone another way, either pre fire, or post fire, and Sephiroth and Genesis had time to face once another again, get out grievances but also have a chance to apologize if they weren't so stubborn, I think we can all agree Sephiroth would have given his cells. If he was back in a place to see Genesis as the friend he cared for and had been losing, if he could recognize their situation more clearly without the trauma making it far more negative, and if he could believe it would save him and not make them both more monstrous, he would not have hesitated. Genesis was one of the single most important people in his life, and there were many stages in their time together that he would give everything just for them to be side by side, and Genesis RECOGNIZE they were side by side, equals. Sephiroth would have done anything to hold on to Genesis, if he hadn't been in such a state where his mind and heart was made to believe everything he had once held onto was dead, gone, or a lie.

Sefikura: In complicated scenarios, unhealthy as they can be, even if it were a scenario where Sephiroth was returned and could live a balanced life, however he might have to atone, with Cloud, they both still have a puppet issue. More often than not it is a subject of distrust and discomfort because of the risks it poses. But Cloud can't deny the bliss that can come with giving over to another's control completely, to not have to be responsible for who and what he is, and Sephiroth of course clings to the power because if he controls the one he loves, they can never leave him. And on the flip side, in scenarios where it was ever possible (stretch of canon possibility of course), in scenarios of Cloud's jenova cells becoming stronger or even just his influence as Sephiroth's anchor in returning to existence being a part of it, though Cloud would not enjoy enacting the power too often, Sephiroth has a weakness for it. Cloud isn't the only one who could enjoy the sweet release of loosing control, if only Sephiroth could give that control to someone he trusts wholly. Someone who could end him if need be, and love him against all reason. To be under Cloud's control, to be in his grip, it is a very complicated euphoria.

Rufus/Reno: It takes a great deal of time, trauma, closeness, complications, and finally balance between the two of them but Rufus is the only one to know some of the most important things about him. Few others know it all. About his name, his brother, and his mother. Tseng knows his former name, Tseng knows about his brother and Rude knows a gist about his complicated family crap and a few more details about his brother. But Rufus is the only one that Reno finds himself willing to confess the gritty details to. The details that aren't just for clarity of the job, or for mental assessments. The details that could be shared, between the two of them, for the sake of sharing and relating. Because they're both just boys who's families were hell and fell apart, and they're just doing their best to make the most of themselves, despite being sad boys at heart, angry at their failed parents and morning the loss of one.

Rufus/AU-Vincent: In this AU, Vincent is forced to train in Deepground to better his control of his 'beasts', especially Chaos, but all the while to teach those in Deepground close to his level in monstrosity, IE the Tsviets. He is a multipurpose tool of ShinRa at this point, mostly owned by Hojo, as in he can tug his leash at any time, but he loans him off back to the Turks most of the time, unless he needs 'retraining', to which he is either brought back to secure labs in Deepground for conditioning and refining that involves tampering with his memory at times, or he's thrown back in to training with the Tsviets, or both. Given this, he is very much a slave to his emotions and so he has to restrain them often. If he looses control, he looses control of them, and finds himself in Hojo's grasp again. So when he's been working as Rufus' body guard long enough (as he is pulled away from said duty a few times for different reasons, more so before Rufus is every VP much less president). But in his time with Rufus, as his complicated nature and how he is forced ot deal with it is made more clear to Rufus, the VP and eventual president begins working to expand training options. Better ways to keep his emotions level. Better ways to assess the nature of those within him and how to cater to taming each, or using them. And working through all the control Hojo has. It's a subtle mission, but with Rufus' help, by the time he's president, he is already working Vincent out of Hojo's clutches, though there is always risk and dread. However, Rufus greatest ally is also the greatest threat of Vincent's beast. Given Vincent's training, Chaos is the strongest, smartest, and most self aware and able to take control. And with training and focus, he is intent on overriding Hojo's tools of manipulation. But his chaotic nature and hidden motives are as much a threat to Rufus as anyone else. It takes winning him over, to some level of mutual trust through mutual gain, that they will override Hojo.

[goldstargloww]

hi :D i'm gold, just a random blob you encountered on the internet :>

this blog used to be @starglowwos (our collective blog), but seeing as this is my account's main blog and mainly i use it, i've decided to move @starglowwos to a sideblog. also, here's all my links!

i use they/vae/void/ender/it pronouns, among others, but if you need to, just they/it is fine! i enjoy variation but no need to go out of your way to do so :>

i'm neurodivergent, queer, plural, and alterhuman, and a lot more (and if you don't know what some of those mean, don't worry about it! feel free to ask tho)

this is a blog for whatever i feel like talking about, really, which as of now tends to be mcyt and isat! my current special interest is the life series/traffic lives im pretty sure lmao, and i'm hyperfixated on in stars and time. as for mcyt, i very much enjoy the life series, hermitcraft, rats smp, pirates smp, and probably some other stuff.

speaking of fandom things, i do in fact do fanart! if any creators see my stuff, (thinking mcyt specifically) feel free to name drop or show my stuff on stream :D (keep in mind this blog isn't necessarily pg)

i do a lot of art in general! here's my ao3 and artfight if you're curious. also, reminder that nothing i make is ever okay to use to train AI models, prompt AI models, create NFTs with, or anything similar.

other than that, i enjoy liomogai stuff and i'm tangentially in the warrior cats fandom, and i very much enjoy omori! i'll try to remember to tag that stuff seeing as its a horror game

i make emojis over at @emojistargloww, all my art gets reblogged to @artstargloww, and i do liomogai things at @liomstargloww. i also run @isat-emoji-archive and help run @mcyt-emoji-archive!

i'd also like to say go check out my mallowfriends they're very cool :> @thecardinalcoven @milo-handsoftime

more detail in things under the cut :D

interacting with me

here's some notes on interacting with me, if you find that helpful!

dms are always fine! just explain why you're dming me instead of just saying "hi" or something

feel free to @ me pretty much anywhere!

when it comes to tone tags, i essentially mirror your usage. if they help you, go ahead and use em! if you want me to use em, go ahead and ask! if i'm not sure, i'll usually use the common ones like /j /srs /gen /lh, but otherwise i'll just clarify what i mean :>

squicks, warnings, and censoring

i don't really have many common triggers, so don't worry about triggering me - i do prefer warnings though in some situations!

note that this list does not contain anything that seriously would trigger me. it's dangerous to give that information out and i am aware. don't worry about accidentally triggering me, and don't purposefully try to do so.

warning that i will be talking about common triggers and squicks here!

common things like bugs and other small animals like snails don't bother me

flashes and eyestrain don't need censoring for the most part, but if it's a flashy thing (especially if it autoplays), warnings would be nice

i do need volume warnings though, please warn me for volume ^^

horror generally doesn't need any warning with me, except for maybe jumpscares and realistic horror, if you'd like.

things like suicide and self harm generally don't need censoring, but i don't mind a warning

if you're talking to a headmate of mine who you know may be triggered by something, it's usually a good idea to at least warn for that, just in case

i appreciate warnings for mentions/talk of removal of devices and restrictions on them (like screen time limits or phone lockers)

swearing and the like is completely fine by me ^^

images, videos, and other media

for videos, a video description would be really helpful for me! there's a lot of times that i can't watch videos in posts (clips, for an example—longer youtube videos i can make time for) and video descriptions are really helpful for me! to anyone who does this, thank you :>

image descriptions are also helpful, especially for text in an image. i can see the image fine under normal circumstances, but especially for things that might be hard to visually understand or to get without context, they can help a lot

audio descriptions of audio files could also be helpful (like, if talking, a transcript would be helpful for me as a form of captions—but if it's just music or something, there's no need)

oh, and for me, there's no need to make them entirely screenreader compatible as i don't use a screenreader, but it is good practice to regardless for those who do and for general accessibility :>

i try to do all of these things, but things like image ids are hard for me sometimes. i do video transcripts (with small descriptions of what's happening if needed for context) and audio transcripts fine though, for the most part! if you want to help me with accessibility on any of my posts, feel free to do so, i'd appreciate it ^^ if you do i'll probably add it to the original post :>

tagging system

my tagging system is a bit of a mess lmao, but here's the system ill try to be using

c:/sgos - any post by me or the brain beings

c:/sgos/user/[name] - a post by [name] (one of the brain beings—most things will be from me, gold), or intended for them if it's a reblog

c:/sgos/groups/[name] - anything for or by a group of brain beings

c:/sgos/talking - probably me just ranting honestly. probably about traffic lives

c:/sgos/creations/art - any art by me

c:/sgos/creations/animatic - animatics i've made

c:/sgos/creations/apmv - AMVs/PMVs i've made

c:/sgos/creations/writing - if i happen to post any writing, it'll be tagged as this

c:/sgos/creations/commissions - anything i was commissioned to make (i have commissions btw! dm me for info!)

c:/sgos/creations/skins - minecraft skins i've made

c:/sgos/creations/coding - code i've made

c:/sgos/creations/emote - emotes over at @emojistargloww

c:/sgos/creations/term - terms over at @liomstargloww

c:/sgos/creations/flag - flags over at @liomstargloww

c:/sgos/creations/other - any other creations i dont have a tag for

c:/sgos/projects/[name] - a project, such as an animatic/amv/pmv, that i'm working on

c:/sgos/quotes - i collect silly/weird quotes. they go here

c:/sgos/clips - stuff i've clipped

c:/sgos/asks - asks i've answered

c:/sgos/my asks - me reblogging things i've asked/requested

c:/sgos/saved - things i've saved for myself

c:/sgos/saved/btgbr - things saved for characterization reasoning, usually :>

more serious stuff - stuff that's more serious that you might want to filter out in case you don't wanna see it right now

heavier stuff - same as last one but for stuff that's more emotionally heavy

here's how i do warnings

cw [x] - warning for [x] (ex: cw eyestrain) (i don't use tw)

[x] spoilers - warning for spoilers for [x] (ex: limited life spoilers)

[x] slur - warning for [x] slur (ex: f slur)

[x] word - warning for [x] word (ex: fr word)

[x]phobia warning - warning for [x]phobia (ex: trypophobia warning)

eyestrain - eyestrain warning

flash warning - warning for flashing or fast moving visuals

paranoia trigger - warning for something that might trigger paranoia