#maybe i should start using one now
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save me mitski cover of fireproof
#not pjo#chitter chatter#tea listens to music#ive been looping it while trying to work im losing my mind#'i think im gonna lose my mind' so true mitski!!! the song is looping again#ive been listening to it for like a week#edit: i queued this a week ago and i still have just looped it whenever i have to write#wish i had used one of those loop tracking sites#it's been dozens of hours at this point#maybe i should start using one now
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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BE HARMONIOUS, ENRICH THE SOLDIERS, AND SCORN ALL OTHER MEN
Geta & Caracalla in the Gladiator II trailer / Cassius Dio 77, 78 / Horseplay: Robin Hood, Guy of Gisborne, and the Neg(oti)ation of the Bestial, Stuart Kane / Managing Monsters, Marina Warner / Anticipation and Anachrony in Statius' Thebaid, Robert Simms / Cain and Abel, Tintoretto / Dante and Virgil, William-Adolphe Bouguereau
#severus (i am summoning his ghost now) SEVERUS. you cant DERAIL THE INEVITABLE FRATRICIDE#NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TELL THEM TO LOVE EACH OTHER AND SCORN ALL OTHER MEN#caracalla already murdered his brother symbolically as a child they are FUCKED. category 5 opedipus event kinds of fucked#comparatives tag#roman empire tag#honestly geta and caracalla should get their own tag at this point#uhhhhh maybe they can share the one i was going to start using for valentinian and valens#brother emperors tag
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this blog is 11 years old now 🎉
I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual
#loz#wind waker#legend of zelda#toon link#aryll#I wasn't gonna draw anything but then I sketched link real quick and I was like okay wait i can do this#and then my brother dragged me outside ☠ but i still got it done today!#the anniversary is today. tumblr sent me a notification like ravio is 11 years old now! ravio the character is actually 11 years old.#albw released in2013. i received two reminders this morning. ravio drawing soon maybe. coming this year definitely. maybe#arylls like big brother use a damn fork#<- that was the tag when I first started drawing them in 2018#also i noticed when I draw aryll i always draw her in her blue dress so i decided to change it up. i only play 2nd playthroughs of wind wak#r because fun fact: i hate link's green tunic and hat. i finished a first playthrough years ago with a finished nintendo gallery#and then when i want to start a new playthrough i fight ganondorf again go through the credits cry and then BAM new game no-plus#i miss link's green tunic now though. its been so long. im so sick of champions garb...............idk the green is iconic idk#im not a huge fan of it but i think his base form should be green again. with the hat. let him look doofy as a default again#he was green in echoes of wisdom but i need them to follow through after again.#i didnt finish echoes of wisdom yet (SOON IM TRYING IM STUCK I NTHE SONIC ADVENTURE 1 WEB HELP) but what I saw of Link there?#he was kinda terrifying lmao its always funny to see that link is so extremely competent because i am not. that boy efficient#im stuck in the sa1 web because everyone is always talking about how good it is. so i played the pc port and. its apparently awful idk it i#thats just what sa1 outside of emerald coast plays to me tbh. but the dreamcast is supposed to be better. and i own a dreamcast. free me#i played on gamecube too. 12 years ago. it made me sick. maybe one day i'll install some mods that make it play better#why does it feel like the month is over when its only january 6#i played sa1 as a kid btw. just emerald coast tho. ALSO I DIDNT BUY A DREAMCAST FOR THIS I ALREADY OWNED ONE
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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.
but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.
#qsmp neg#qsmp crit#discourse#<- for blacklists#im not grumping or anything im just musing on like. the mechanics of why everyone is so upset about the latest fight#and how it can be avoided while still keeping these fights genuinely difficult and intense#its hard because there's so many players and they all have wildly different strengths and weaknesses#so someone who could take on the code easy needs that enemy scaled differently than someone who isn't a big fighter#but it's hard to do that in a world where they interact w the same enemy#and you only have so much man-power to cater to a big server like this one#and then you bring in the big powerful items that the players can and can't access but which the admins have ultimate power over#and the fact that some of the admins themselves have lag issues or aren't super great at pvp so they accommodate that with better gear#and it starts getting messy#but for the fights themselves yeah regardless of what armour or gear or killing-methods they use there should Always be a win condition#and idk maybe there was one and we just didn't get to see it#but if that win condition is 'parents sit in the safe room with their babies while the others are overrun'#then i think there are ways to build better win conditions#anyway i love game design and player/dm interactions qsmp hire me now i want to know your behind the scenes#jk im too busy to apply#but man. i wanna nerd out so bad that sometimes i think about it
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happy birthday you weird little freak. it's finals season so i can't afford to make a full drawing for u rn but i can at least give you your favorite thing in the world
bonus drawing + og imgs under the cut
cannot believe that crucified!komaeda is the cuntiest i've ever drawn him. call it divine inspiration
#martzipan#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#komahina#komaeda doesn't like sweets. so i gave him something savory in place of a cake <3#the first time i tried to draw these i started giggling too hard to actually get anything done#the second time i tried to draw these i had a realization mid-drawing that i'm getting an art degree#i'm gonna be a professional artist. i'm gonna make art for a living#and i'm using it for this. <3#also crucified!komaeda happened bc my friends and i were talking abt mbti types#and i found out komaeda's. and i learned he shares a personality type with some WILD figures. you should look it up he's an infj#jesus is one of them#and immediately they were like 'you should draw komaeda on the cross'#and i was like 'i've thought about it and you just made it necessary'#and then i made it. and it was beautiful#maybe i'll give komaeda an actual birthday drawing sometime after finals are over. but for now this is what he gets#i'm finally hyperfixed on dr in time for a kmda birthday and then bam. finals week. girl ur luck cycle is affecting ME too#anyways. these are the bestworst things i’ve ever drawn and maybe ever will draw#hinata ended up darker than how i actually headcanon him but it’s ok. i’d rather him be darker than lighter
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Have you ever sat down to read 17 fics all at once that the plots start to merge and you suddenly get an incoherent, jumbled mess of scenarios in your head you are no longer sure of what is happening
Or are you normal?
#got 156338 tabs open right now#I can't stick to one story#I always have the NEED to read all of them lmao#it's also a mood#haruno sakura#dramione#tom hiddleston#writer problems#naruto#zutara#love between fairy and devil#rurouni kenshin#harry x hermione#harmione#shipping problems#cang lan jue#the mandalorian#joel miller#the last of us#din djarin#pedro pascal#fanfics#there's not enough fics in the internet for my blorbos#maybe I should get off my lazy ass and start writing#why can't these fics just write themselves so I can just read them????
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I somehow only Just noticed how Lucifer's wings move when he laughs in Surprise Guest interactions and I'm. Kind of obsessed? Like that's inexplicably adorable what
I've been due for some wings brainrot for a while now, hoping this one sticks around for a while afhsfjsf the tails got more than their fair share of my attention i Need to be spinning the concept of wings around in my brain at all times for the next three months At Least--
(Bonus hc infodump in the tags bc I have minimal self restraint)
#obey me#obey me headcanons#<- all in the tags💀#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#lucifer#how have i not fully processed this big scary* demon having big fluffy probably emotionally reactive wings#his feathers probably fluff up when he's content and comfy#he 100% uses them to make himself seem even bigger and more threatening when he feels like he needs to#which now has lost its threatening capabilities to me bc he's just doing Bird Things xfjjgxgx#he's threatening enough on his own adding the bird tactics on top just loops back around to Little Guy territory somehow--#anyways wings good#they probably make nice sounds when they move and the feathers brush against each other and they're probably really soft in some places and#he'd probably start purring if you pet them (while you're alone ofc lol) especially the places closer to his back#or wherever else he might struggle to reach himself#I'm gonna be so real tho i think doing anything that could qualify as preening to Any of the former/current angels would get to them a bit-#Lucifer would be more subject to returning the favor tho (subconsciously or intentionally. probably both at different times lmao)#the instinct/cultural association with it has died down a bit in the rest of the brothers (at least conciously)#bc it did mostly just apply to helping other angels they were close with with their wings specifically#so lucifer being the only one with feathers would've probably had that habit/association stay more ingraned than it did for the rest of them#bc he'd be reminded of it all the time#ok i should make an actual post about this at some point i think instead of dumping it in the tags bc jfc-#bc im about to start spiraling into how the brothers adapted to their new bodies and being so out of their own culture when they fell#and etc etc#and I'll yap for Years and also maybe cry a lil--#tldr Preening As A Sign Of Affection (mutual) and it effects Lucifer the most for several reasons#personal headcanons
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linke saying viktor is ace as an excuse to deter the jayvik shippers man shut the hell up. you can be gay and ace. you can be gay and ace and still be sex positive.
dude can just straight up say "i dont like jayvik but if you see it that way i don't know what to say" instead of starting fires with all his non-answers in interviews
#as a non-het ace person i love the ace viktor hc!#but seeing it used as a weapon against people seeing what the show gave us on a goddamn silver platter is just dumb#idk i think he should just shut up actually.#like dude just say you don't like the ship and go#also official league acc posted the jayvik forehead touch scene with the caption “how i look at my duo while we get ganked”#which is fucking hysterical#every time linke tries to shoot down jayvik another official acc posts a jayvik image and quote#all the official netflix accs uniting and posting jayvik was gold#and im starting to think riot is seeing the money making potential of jayvik LMAO#anyways if next year's pride splash art is jayvik i am going to be laughing so goddamn hard at linke#also viktor now has not one but TWO official lines of him saying “wait this isn't my bedroom”#yknow. which originally came from the scene of him sneaking around in the dark with jayce.#im sorry idk what else to say i just think viktor fucks a whole lot more than jayce if im bein honest LMAO#i just think those two statements can coexist. maybe not in the same space but it *should* coexist#also would like to just add#meljayvik VAs are all supportive of jayvik lol linke can suck it#sef rambles
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'tumblr i told you to stop sniping my post quality' translation: 80's sequel to this so click for better quality
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza 7#yakuza like a dragon#masato arakawa#masumi arakawa#jo sawashiro#snap sketches#n e way ignore the fact ive made arakawa's chain gold now. my blind ass only now realized it's gold and not silver#MY LOUDEST TEEHEE this was the vision..... this was the vibe i wanted.. teehee..#they're silly to me.... they're SOOO silly i want them to be fumbling dads together only to perfect parenthood down the line#every time i draw something like this i ALWAYS want to put my dumb Fake Doujin title somewhere the urge is SO strong#i love manga covers and i love making fake manga covers....#maybe i should make one of those Ungodly Long-As-Hell fan webcomics like they used to back in the 2010's....#just straight 200 pages of arasawa domestic content...#legend behavior... which is why i couldnt im not built like that ☠️#ok im done looking at this bye. i have to watch. The Correct SP Finale ☠️☠️☠️#im starting to get back the drawing flow so... hopefully more stuff this week... and.. get the drums and fanfare ready..#i do got a cute lil comic with ichi and arakawa planned <3#would love if i can do that soon... ok bye movie time
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Just curious what the average level of personal investment in these sorts of things is. Like, how much do people usually get into silly stuff like this their friends ask of them? etc. etc. Which I know, only surveying a small sample on a very specific website means I'm not getting an exact average idea lol, but.. curious nonetheless .. Maybe reblog for bigger sample size but also this is not very serious at all/not worth a call to action gbhjbhjb
#which I know this could be context dependent like.. maybe you'd normally dress up but on a week that#you feel sick you wouldn't or etc. etc. - but I mean.. GENERALLY. in the most general average scenario#where you have the average amount of health and free time that you always do. etc. just based on your personality#and level of investment in these things - what on AVERAGE are you most inclined to do#also of course assume they communicate with you ahead of time and are not like planning a part last minute#like 'throw together costume in 5 hours and show up tonight randomly' or etc. I would hope that if we're going with the#AVERAGE of things - most people's friends have better communication skills than springing entire parties#on people last minute lol#assume you have like.. a few days-a week or so to prepare. however ealrly people usually start talking about#birthdays. In my experience it's usually one or two weeks ahead of time. Like 'oh next weekend' or 'oh two weeks from now' etc.#ANYWAY.. feeling a little Sick again of course but still trying to get some photos or something posted#AGAIN i promise I am not going to exlcusively post polls and ntohing else forever hgkjgnekj#I just really really love the ability to post polls and have always my whole life been obsessed with surveying people#I used to think I wanted to do that as a career somehow like.. be one of the people that does psychological interviews#or produce interview asessments for a company or etc. etc. I am always the one friend in the group thats giving out custom made#surveys or asking for other simialr stuff (did you ever take an mbti quiz? how about enneagra#m?? oh yeah I know they're not really scientifically valid or antyhing but like... DID you take them?? huh?? did you??please?? ghjj)#I simply cannot resist.. posting a little poll every once in a while.. as a treat#whilst I still fall behind on like actual content and costumes and stuff gbjhbjh#New poll adventure should be not as much of a wait as the last one was though since I already have the writing#for it really. I just have to do the ms paint sketch. hopefully no unexpected other health issues will get in the way#*** *** ***#< (anytime I do these three star patterns it is an ocd compulsion not me bleeping out words or something just ignore it lol)#(it means something secret in my evil brain just pretend you do not see it. significant only to me)#BUT YEAH.. ... poll... what type of costume party atendee are you?#:0c
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why do all my dads play guitar
#do i have a type???#[fakeman redacted]. ricky. lyle. is a pattern forming here?#theres probably more but im dumb#i dont know just a thought#sometimes i wonder if i should go full on chaser like kitty used to#like im being serious im already such a bad person would it really kill me to start searching for if [redacted] has a kin community#surely not but maybe because in a video [redacted] mentioned it mockingly? like because hes old hehe so its gotta exist#maybe they got chased off the internet... maybe i should ask my papa to build me one...#too forward? too cringe? i always thought it was before but desperate times call for desperate measures#i act like this is a personal journal and nota place other people can access#who even cares. im the king of sunk cost fallacy#anyways maybe someday ill get the courage to be that much of a degen to my own padres face but for now ill just vaguepost it in tumblr tags#and wish i wasnt the worlds most shame filled failure because being so shameful takes the fun out of the indulgence#lulah yaps
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maybe wrangling this new pen for pages and pages is what finally gets me to finish this sketchbook
#art#ink#sketch#i got a pen with a supposed flex nib and it's nothing like a flexy dip pen nib#i think ive got it working smoothly now. im accepting the lack of line variation haha#i hope it will work okay with the waterproof black ink ive got at home (platinum carbon black) but we will See#ive almost used up the entire ink sample i got with this gjslbfkd#anyway ive had this sketchbook since 2018 which is bonkers#up to that point ive filled up probably 30-40 sketchbooks total#but this one i got as a gift and it's like. big hardcover chonky boy#really good quality!!!!!!#and i think i started using it and then filled out a different sketchbook before coming back to it#and it's also around that time when i was done with university and didn't have much Sketch Time as before which is sad#combined with the fact that it's big and heavy and i do not bring it everywhere#it's slow going!!!!! there's so much doodles in it but ive still got like a quarter left of it??? maybe a fifth#but now i have like eight pages of fountain pen wrangling hahaha#i should add that any Thin Lines are not because this pen flexing but me drawing with the nib upside down#for extra fine lines u_u
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My Neekeys over the last two-odd years. I was curious to see the changes 🤔
#forgive the low quality dfghfds it was just an experiment#now to do the DRAW ANYONE ELSE challenge#siggy draws#he is my blorbo. my muse. i guess#don't get me wrong. i am CRINGING and SWEATING at just the thought of uploading this.#have i been drawing almost every day my entire life? yes. does my style still change all the time? yes!#and i'm mostly self-taught so i struuuuggle a lot. i'll finally admit that reference pictures help immensely. no shit lol.#i learned a lot in the last 2 years!!! there are some really ugly ones i didn't show but i kept the cringe old ones sdfghfds help.#i mean they're still here on tumblr so i can't exactly hide them#you can kind of see when i actually started to use reference pictures. and when i got more used to using a tablet#idk digital art is so hard. it's a whole other world. but i'm in it now and haven't drawn traditionally in forever#i can also literally see how i used to CRUSH my nibs while drawing. all those really thin lines?? i pressed too hard lol#i've actually kept all my nibs since i started drawing digitally and....... it's too many fghfds#that one slightly more realistic nicky in the bottom right of the first collage lmaooo. i should finish him... maybe... it's haaard.#the top right on the first collage and bottom right on the second one are good comparisons ;_; they're both pirate!nico gifts for lily!!#i'm feeling sentimental now omg
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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now is a post made by tumblr user johnny-depp-is-loved what the suicidal americans really need right now
#abuse victims could also use those suicide hotlines numbers is what im trying to get across#just. listen i ignored it once twice three times but for the love of GOD stop putting it on my dash come on now#and i know no one on here reads urls but maybe we should all start tbh#next hit post by this person is gonna be like stay safe you're so loved and everyones gonna reblog that too and ill pop a vessel
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