#maybe i should discourage myself. i dont want to do any more work on it tonight | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grandhotelabyss · 8 months ago

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The substack on "seperating the art from the artist" was interesting. But one detail lead me to a question - childrens books.

I know it was mostly used to mock people who don't want to engadge with anything "icky" as the demographic probably likes to say, but still.

So the question is, should books for kids be squeaky clean, be these gardens of eden were no evil shows its head, till they grow into the maturity which will let them confront the barbarity of literature vis a vis reality?

One could already use this as a segway to argue the opposite - that with the amount of adults not being able to deal with literature going against their provincal pseudo-morals, children should be "trained" from young age to not be like that - the point of childhood is paradoxically to grow out of it, even if many dont want to.

But on the other hand, and this may reveal myself to be the object of the previous high-nosed snot shower:

I kinda do feel "icky" when I think about all these kids books that try to be "hehe, I'm gonna show kids the real world!"

Like that Matilda author, forgot his name, I remember a year ago there was some fake drama about censorship which ofcourse was stupid but still

I do feel some kind of spite, that irony, that want to be subversive that goes against the idealised view of childhood.

Or maybe my realistic view - with all the cruelty and unavoidable misery - but that wants me to say, "why expose them to more of it?"

Because intuition tells me that those "edgy" childrens book have a simmilar ethos as a teenaged kid trying to teach a todler swear words, or to do a roman salute or whatever, this corrupting of the innocent for the sake of it.

But maybe this whole ramble is just the result of a Lacanian wish to crawl back into the vomb, my lile of Preussler's books just a want to become the little ghost who just can fly around in his eternal castle never growing up.

Still ofcourse I get that it is absurd to rant against Matilda with all the childrens media going way further in many ways and the fact that even I as a young child easily acceseed stuff I wasnt supossed to.

So maybe I answerred my own question - maybe there shouldnt even be childrens books in the first place, just books that are more and less apropriate for younger and yet younger kids.

(Also they should burn all those obviously on porpuse braindead picture books, you know the type lol)

Yes, as I discussed here, I didn't really read children's books unless made to and don't find it to be all that appealing a category. People thought comic books were like children's books, so I was happily reading Grant Morrison's occult phantasmagoria, Frank Miller's post-apocalyptic reactionary satire, and Alan Moore's Freudian traumatology of the archetypes at the age of five and six—and I wouldn't have it any other way. Anyway, the writers who shifted children's books out of their moralizing paradigm and into neo-modernist aesthetic integrity in the late 19th century tended to be either quasi-pedophiles like Carroll and Barrie or figures like Potter rather deliberately trying to expose children to the tooth-and-claw realities polite society otherwise evaded. Children's primordial innocence was a useful historical construct, the slowly evolving joint work of Christianity and the Enlightenment, and we are rightly suspicious of those who would tamper too much with it today; but it was a historical construct, it has produced its own return-of-the-repressed shadow (it's likely generated as much pedophilia as it's ever discouraged by inventing the taboo to be profaned), and it has been carried to unconscionable extremes of life-aversion and anti-intellectualism in our time (e.g., the "brain" doesn't "finish" till age 25 or whatever other ridiculous scientific myth of permanent incapacity we're supposed to believe based on the latest spate of fake "studies" these days). People are probably just people at any age from the onset of consciousness forward—I am aware of no great shift in the core of my identity since about the age of five and never thought of myself as a child—and, because there is alas no protecting everyone from everything in the end, they should at least be armed with knowledge and cultivation at the earliest possible moment.

#children's literature

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hellfire--cult · 10 months ago

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I have a ton of posts saved to read later that I dont reblog yet BECAUSE: I've seen people mistag, I've seen people not disclose things on purpose, and there was that whole scandal last year about the underage thing that wasn't appropriately tagged and a ton of people who liked or reblogged to read later also got under fire

I reblog once I read, I cant say everyone else does. But you do have to realize one thing, AO3 you can't necessarily reblog. You can bookmark and pin and like and comment, and if by chance there is a way to reblog then im dumb and completely missed it. I was one of the people who had an AO3 first and then came to Tumblr and didn't know at first to reblog.

There are some people who want interaction who have less then 50 notes just begging for love, and people keep complaining that their first that have THOUSANDS aren't being shared. I get that it sucks! But also, you are having interaction. I still know people who like fics to read later and won't reblog until after they read it.

Also, I have mutuals who will like their friends fics but not reblog if it has one of the things they don't like. For example, my friend doesn't like daddy kink and another mutual always writes it, so they'll like the fic but not share and that has been discussed

It is discouraging to me to see people say they want to put things behind a pay wall, there are sites for that that you can legitimately do that. But fanfiction is art and it should be shared, and I understand it hurts when people don't reblog, but there are many different reasons people don't as some are listed here.

It makes it discouraging to even interact with people and not even read things at all anymore. I started out not knowing, and then got blocked by a blog because I at the time had only liked things because I didn't know reblogging was what people wanted on here. Is it not all interaction? Is it not all love and gratitude being shown? Since when did we weigh the merit of one thing over another?

We joke that Tumblr doesn't have an algorithm but it does! I see stuff recommended my mutuals like but haven't reblogged. And I see stuff that gets a ton of interaction.

Maybe I'm wrong, and I would love an explanation as to why people want things reblogged (again coming from other sites where you couldn't, not just AO3). I genuinely don't understand and this isn't any hate towards you I have reblogged your fics before and love how you write, I just don't get it?

I understand it might sound whiny to some, and I understand AO3, but it can also help when someone bookmarks it and it ends in their profile, for mutuals to see it as well.

Wattpad may not have a reblog button, but saving the story and commenting in it, helps the story go up in the tag, appear before than other works thanks to the engagement, and also, when you save a story in a public reading list, mutuals can also see it.

Tumblr does have the possibility to reblog your work, and the engagement on here with OTHER people is also easier. Not only by comments, but by asks like this, or responding through the comments or the reblogs themselves. It's more personal and real.

It is also a site where it can ENCOURAGE the writers to keep doing it. This is a site where we can actively support someone, unlike other sites.

We write cause we want to, that is true, but even myself when i wasn't on here, and only used wattpad and AO3, it also discouraged me to not have votes or kudos, or subscriptions on the works.

This hurts more because i can see the activity of people. We can see it. And it is discouraging in a way of also wondering if our writing is bad, or if it was too much, or too little.

And like you said, tumblr has an algorithm, but that algorithm can break if people reblog. It just helps the work we put into, to be shared around because we love it, we wrote it, and we spent time with it and it's like an artist with a finished painting, putting their artwork in a gallery, and everyone just passes by.

That's how it basically feels. We always try to look past it, to say 'oh, it doesn't matter' but sadly, it does.

#we just want our work spread #we are artists after all.

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nightfallsystem · 5 months ago

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i know its easier said than done but you *really* do not have any sort of obligation to be good at or constantly improving at your hobbies. you deserve to do the things that you love, no matter if youre bad at them or not, or putting in the work to become better at them or just doing them for fun without any concern

ik this is the era of monetizing your hobbies and putting it all in social media and starting a small business or whatever the hell but thats literally just capitalism worming into our brains and it can go fuck itself. the word amateur has such negative connotations today, but it originally came from the french word for love, and i think thats still how it should be !!

i abandoned my hobbies too for a really long time and it made me feel so empty but ive been slowly coming back to them and ive realized that it was at least partially bc i was forcing myself to put in too much damn effort. i did not have that amount of effort in me, still dont, and thats ok ! like esp w art in my case, ive realized that being messy and loose w it and doing silly doodles brings me oodles more joy than forcing myself to create clean finished pieces, getting dissapointed w my skills, or just doing Nothing At All

its hard, but please try to give yourself some grace. pick an old hobby back up with no expectations, or try something new with the intention of having fun first and foremost, maybe even with the express purpose of being bad at it ! youre allowed to be, you dont owe the world a thing

i really appreciate it im srory but i cannot be helped thouh . but this means a lot to me so thank you. i am a lost cause unfrotuanteyl

it just sucks bcuz like. i try so hard to be good for months and then my friends literally do 50x better than me after just pickng up thh game so its like extremely discouraging because i want to be better because hhthhats what i really want to do it sems fun but thats legit never ever going to fucking happen so hwhhahts the point if i cant acheieve hhwhat i want to achieve

and ntehres also my anxiety and that wont ever be cured or at least lessened ever so i physically cant have any new hobbies anymore...

i feel empty as hell after abandoning almost every hobby i have but i think i just need to get over it and grow up i have art andn studying i should be happy anyway

#thheres legit nothing left for me in this life anymore but it odjnesnth matter i dont care about myself unfortunately i deserve to sufer #tw vent #sorryyy #sory to vent in reply #im realy depresed recently as per usual

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emypony · 3 years ago

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Alright fellas it was time this was said

I didn't think this was necessary considering the amount of TIMES this has been brought attention to. However I'll just refer to the current fandom that I'm in since I am mostly seeing it here - but let's be real, this is a widespread issue and you KNOW it.

COMMENT ON THE FICS YOU READ.

And I'm not gonna go "oh but if you force people then they may not want to-" or "oh but someone shouldn't write to get attention or interaction from others, you should only create for yourself!"

NO, STOP.

I literally (and sorry) do not care. Creators, both of fiction, artwork, etc put their souls and hearts into the pieces they create and for what. A measly kudos on ao3? A like pressed on tumblr while scrolling on your dash? They can only create so much before they think they are worthless and that no one wants to see what they have to bring to a fandom.

If you LIKE something, for the love of god, LET THEM KNOW. I'll mostly refer to writing from this point on, but for artworks, c'mon you know you can reblog and leave some nice tags. Heck even emojis work. Show the creators that you appreciate them wholeheartedly.

Creators thrive on interaction but if you don't give them any, then how DARE you expect to find content of your favorite shows/characters/ships etc.

As for fiction-

No words for it? Say THANK YOU and that you LIKED READING IT. it really doesn't have to be deep!!! It just shows that you read it and their work is more than just one kudos. Leave some emojis if you don't have more than that.

Are you reading it again? LET THEM KNOW. Say "Hi i don't have much but I'm reading this for the second/third/etc time because I just like this so much!" It's okay to not know what to say, sometimes maybe you're not that good with words. A simple thank you will work. But THANK THE CREATORS.

I have a lot of writer friends, and it kills me to see them discouraged by the fact that people barely interact with their works. There's only so much that I can do myself. Yes it's appreciated from a friend, but it matters even more from all the people that read their fic.

I'm literally pointing at y'alls, RIGHT HERE. I know there's people who do this, and I'm calling you out. Stop consuming content like some fucking hungry hogs and have the decency to say something nice about things for once. Comments help fics more than you know. Reblogs and tags help fics more than you know.

If we discourage every writer by being like "eh this isnt that good, it only deserves a kudos and nothing more" then what the FUCK are we doing, seriously?

Any aspiring artist will get absolutely shut down from that. They may stop writing for good, and it will hurt them and also the possible dozens of fics they may have written if we'd only given them the appreciation they deserve for writing something. Heck, with time they may end up writing a FIC that YOU may like. But if we dont show them that their work is worth a few nice comments, then neither you or I deserve that amazing fic they could write.

This ended up longer than I wanted to, and I won't feel bad for the hostility of this post. I'm sick and tired of people coddling others for consuming content while not giving anything whatsoever in return.

And if you're honestly just leaving comments on the popular "good" or "long" fics then you can fuck right off. you don't deserve the content you're consuming if you think that something is more worth commenting or complimenting on just because of that. Small creators deserve just the same amount of recognition.

side note: this isnt for people that already leave comments for creators. you guys are doing your best and that's amazing, and we thank you for it.

COMMENT ON THAT DAMN FIC.

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iamsuchi · 2 years ago

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Oof where do I start from? Ok so the last year was a pure hectic for me and so many bad things happening and the thing is that I didn't recover from things that happened last yr but now I have alot of new problems to worry and cry over .I just want to go to my old self who was happy, confident , inspired, knew what she wanted, didn't care if others tried to discouraged or didn't even care abt the freaking circumstances. I'm so tired tbh my friends are so toxic and all my friendships are one side its always me putting the efforts to carry the convo I lost so many funds too ...I just wanted some nice people and some good relationships and people that I can trust blindly... tried to take advice but it made things worse .things r so bad rn Idt they will ever improve will they ? Mental health was bad too so I wasn't able to focus on my goals or just be in rt state and recently I got rejected by my desired school ..feels like I don't have any reason to live for . I had fight w my bff but she was the one who was wrong and now she is pretending 2 be the victim and ignoring me

WOW, I AM SO SORRY ALL OF THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU NO ONE DESERVES THIS! If you need a friend I am here my inbox is ALWAYS open, send me a DM if you feel the need. Trust me I need what this is like it's a hard mindset to live with there's so much to unpack here... I want to explain it to you in the best way possible without sounding like victim blame because I don't want you to feel bad or blame yourself any further. The best way I can say this is that your assumptions leading up until now that what's happening to cause all of this and I am assuming that it's probably a happening on an unconscious or subconscious level. PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF HERE, THIS IS NOT MY INTENTION IT IS NATURAL FOR SOMETHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO US AS HUMANS AND WE GET INTO A BAD THINKING PATTERN OF THINKING ONLY BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN TO US - BELIEVE ME, I SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE. A FEW YEARS AGO I DIDN'T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE. I HAD TO DO ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT OF MENTAL REPROGRAMMING BY MYSELF ONLY WITH THE AID OF A FEW VERY CLOSE FRIENDS AND BY FEW I MEAN MY BEST FRIEND AND LIKE 2 OTHER PERSONS. MY FAMILY DOESN'T TAKE MENTAL HEALTH SERIOUSLY SO I HAD TO DO IT ALONE. AT THAT TIME I DISCOVERED PEOPLE LIKE ALAN WATTS AND NEVILLE GODDARD AND THAT'S THE CATALYST FOR ALL THIS TODAY AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I AM STILL NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE EVEN MENTALLY, WORSE I AM STILL IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE I DONT REALLY FEEL HAPPY IN. LITERALLY, MY ASSUMPTIONS ARE CARRYING ME DAY TO DAY MOST TIMES. I KNOW THAT HORRIBLE FEELING AND I WISH IT ON NO ONE SO PLEASE REACH OUT TO ME IF YOU CAN WE NEED TO WORK ON THOSE ASSUMPTIONS WE NEED TO BACKTRACK THOSE LIMITING BELIEFS, LIFE IS WORTH LIVING EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL THAT WAY RIGHT NOW! TELL YOURSELF IT WILL GET BETTER, IT IS GOING TO GET BETTER, I NEED YOU TO BELIEVE THAT IT WILL! IT IS WORTH THE FIGHT YOU'RE ON THIS EARTH FOR A REASON, THIS IS YOUR HUMAN EXPERIENCE YOU CAN MAKE IT A BEAUTIFUL ONE! YOU CAN BE THAT BEAUTIFUL CONFIDENT PERSON YOU WERE I BELIEVE YOU STILL ARE THAT AND MORE MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE HELP WITH GETTING THERE AND I AM HERE FOR YOU! I AM REALLY SORRY AGAIN THAT ALL THIS IS HAPPENING TO YOU AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REACHING OUT! PLEASE DM ME IF YOU CAN IF YOU NEED A FRIEND I AM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unfortunately not all the people we meet in our lives are there to benefit us and it sounds like you met some real messed up ones and again I'm sorry about that but there are good people out there, I'm sure there others like me who would love to see you flourish in life. So please don't let the few assholes you've met so far stop you from meeting even more amazing people out there. (GUYS IF YOU READ THIS FAR AND YOU CAN - PLEASE ADD SOMETHING ON TO THIS ASK PLEASE LET THIS PERSON KNOW THEY AREN'T ALONE - WE ARE ONE GUYS! YOU ARE ANOTHER ME - WE ALL SHOULD WANT HAPPINESS AND A WONDERFUL LIFE FOR EACH OTHER.)

Also please mental health is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery important, if you need to cry let it out don't bottle up your emotions, AND PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF YOU ARE HUMAN YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL AND EXPERSS YOUR EMOTIONS - LIFE IS HARD SOMETIMES BUT I BELIEVE YOU A RESILIENT, YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS! take some time for yourself, try doing things that make you happy - watch funny vids, eat your favorite food, take a nap and if you can I'd recommend speaking with a therapist or licensed professional when it comes to your mental health. I am sending you so much positive energy and all the love and support I can from where I am, things will get better I believe they will.

#asksuchi

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sisterssafespace · 3 years ago

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السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته، أخوات

i have some bad coping mechanisms because of situations i’ve been through as a child. honestly, i’m trying to change & find better coping mechanisms - journaling, gym anything positive. but, it is a slow process because i’m still healing. ‎الحمد لله على كل حال

i think these coping mechanism are starting to influence those around me? for example, i shutdown a lot when i’m triggered by something or upset; now they do too. i purposefully distance myself from other when i’m upset; now they do too.

it’s sort of discouraging because i feel like i’m trying so hard to change. yet i can see them doing what i’m trying so hard to leave behind?

then i start to think what if they had always been like this. however, i’m only noticing now but, i feel like this is less likely because i’ve known them for years.

not once have i seen these negative traits in them. now, i see these traits in them more & more with each day.

i want to speak to them about it but, everytime i do they say ‘i have always been like this.’ i feel as though it’s not true because with me they have never been like that.

sometimes, i think it’s because my actions have hurt them? so, when i’m upset& i distance myself from them they are hurt. by copying what i do i end up feeling the same way they do. الله أعلم

these are only my thoughts. if you could offer some advice it’d be a great help too.

-🤍

و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله و بركاته beautiful soul 🍃

I hope you are in the best shape of health and Iman.

Reading your asks I had two seperate ideas pop up in my mind: it reminded me of a conversation I had with my therapist a few sessions ago about coping mechanisms, and of Mufti Menk's last khutbah this Friday that was posted on YouTube about heart breaks. I will start with the latter because it is a very brief idea. Mufti Menk said we do talk about being broken hearted but how much of our doing did break other people's hearts. - well this is about the part you mentioned about the thought that you might have hurt those people around you by isolating and distancing yourself in the past - I really don't mean anything with it, your words just reminded me of the khutbah and I wanted to share, you might want to check it, it's there on YouTube. I can link you the video if you want 😘

Moving on to the main point: coping mechanisms, and I quote my therapist (shhh don't tell her 😅) : coping mechanisms are tools that come with our personalities. They are not something we choose. They are related/ specific to each personality type, and we dont get to judge or evaluate if they are good or bad. /End quote. However, depending on the level of our self-awareness and knowledge, we can identify the patterns that are 'unhealthy' and try to replace them with healthier ones. Which is something you are already doing sis! You are finding your escape on journaling, gym, etc. That's great! I really congratulate you on this transformation. Proud of you! Allahuma barik ✨ The thing is, we can't always control our reactions? Because they are steaming from the emotional part in our brain, and the rational part needs a bit of buffering before it takes the wheel? So maybe sometimes we catch ourselves doing the unhealthy behaviors as an immediate response, then we take a break, we rationalize, and decide to break/ stop that pattern and opt for something healthier, with little damage? What I am saying is, it is not a work of magic, nor is it a software code, even if we try to condition our brain to work the heathier way, sometimes we find ourselves falling into our old traps, and when that happens, we shouldn't be upset or disappointed in ourselves (or in therapy for example), we should just take a breath, understand ourselves, understand our triggers, break the pattern and switch to the healthier coping mechanisms. I remember my therapist referring to them as " emotional paracetamol " pills, that should be always in our pocket and we should take them whenever necessary.

Now, I need to stop myself from deviating. Referring to your story, tbh, I do believe that these people in your life could be honest when they said that they have always been like that, maybe you really never noticed, because you lacked the self-awareness before? And when we don't know/ can't identify something, it is evident that we wouldn't see it in others, when we see it we can't identify it, we can't name it.. with that being said, maybe growing up and in your teen years with all the emotional tornment that comes with adolescence, you never really paid attention? So my advice on this matter is : let it go, don't give it heavier weight, and forgive yourself. Don't stay hung up on the past and what you can't change, rather invest all your energy on the present and how you can be there for them. Also, it is very normal if you find that person a bit reserved when you start trying to connect with them and get them to open up. Usually we tend to feel weird and wary when someone starts to behave differently towards us? Even if the new behavior is the healthier one, the behavior we had always waited for them to adopt and wished for..? It's confusing tbh, and we start doubting their intentions maybe because a part of us don't want to get our hopes up to be crashed again? Maybe because we have trust issues? Do you get my point? So I think you should be persistent even if they don't show compliance at first, you should show them that you are in it for the long run and that you really are there for them, you want to support them, fix whatever is wrong and help them heal and grow.. so basically what I am saying is don't be discouraged if they are still closed off, don't back down, keep trying.. in shaa Allah eventually they will open up and they will be grateful you didn't give up on them.. 🤍 And it's only then when they feel safe that you can start talking about the unhealthy coping mechanisms and the 'negative traits' like you said, because at any point before that trust is built, they will feel probably feel attacked and they will feel offended, yk? So be patient, and take it slow with them, nobody said this was easy, but it's only the 'special ones, the strong ones' do decide to break toxic cycles and unhealthy patterns, the average continue to exist randomly aimlessly and continue spreading and repeating those cycles, in vain. I am proud of you sis 🤍

May Allah swt help you break the cycle, and cross the bridge to a healthier stage of life. May Allah swt mend your heart and fill its cracks with light and Iman. Ameen. 🤍

P.s. A special thank you wa jazaki Allahu kulla Khayr for sending this as anonymous even tho we can (already had) have this conversation on DMs (or at least a bit of it), I feel like the reason behind your anon is that you are trying to spread awareness, encourage sisters who have problems to seek help and share their stories, and to actually take the first step and in shaa Allah more sisters will follow and the chain of comfort, help and support will start forming .. 😍 so thank you thank you thank you habibty, your encouragement and support to me and to this page means the world to me ❤️

- A. Z. 🍃

#FIRST STORY #coping mechanisms #sisterssafespace #asks #Alhamdulillah

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tomatograter · 4 years ago

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Do you have any tips on starting fics? Like thinking of idea's, getting motivation, and thinking up plots and themes?

Think of things you want to read about! The litmus test of anything writing-related to me is if i think it is compelling for myself. Trying to appeal to an outside audience can be very discouraging and counterproductive to getting words out.

I realize not everyone thinks like this, but i believe fics should be no different than other kinds of fiction, so; try to think of a Genre for your story while you're brainstorming it. This could flatten the process. It doesn't have to be set in stone, but ideally, placing what you intend to write as an "action" "adventure" "horror" "western" "dissertation" "comedy" "scifi" "missing scenes" etc etc story can be helpful to develop an atmosphere, further ideas, define what kinds of devices are to be employed and such.

Specially when it comes to fanfic and dealing with prewritten characters (see: dming for tabletop roleplaying games), i also think it is useful to write a story that challenges your characters. Not "i have a setting. I guess the characters will kick it up somehooooooow?". Make it tailor made. Character is afraid of snakes? Throw a fucking naja at them. This is a critical moment, what happens? Whos affected? Why should we care? What are the consequences? That gets your brain running. "Character is very invested in (X)" ok, now crush it. Same questions as before, why should we care? Can you pierce it back together? So on and so forth.

When you're cobbling it together, think of what kinds of situations could make a good contrast to their personality, troubles, weaknesses and a little bit of their strengths. (Balance it out.) It keeps things more engaging and interesting if your character is walking towards something, rather than being limblessly pushed by a series of events.

Being acquainted with the characters you're writing, their ticks, interests and embarassing traits is very helpful here. Play to their tune.

Dont let your scenes be an afterthought. You'll still have to write them after all!!! Not every scene has to be a showstopper, but if you find yourself writing large swatches of text whose only purpose is filling up space and not doing much tonally, emotionally, or character-wise, what is the point? Write things you want to read about. Think of the minutiae. 'How is this meeting/development/conflict different from others ive seen? Is it funnier? Is it unexpected? Is it cute? Is it embarassing - how can i make it evoke something like these traits?'

Write to your/your audience's level. Purple prose is cool, but are you comfortable with it? Does the story call for it? Are you sure you aren't more comfortable with other structures? Homestuck fanfic is neat because it's the fandom where I've seen the most entertaining works utilizing second person, and they can really rock.

Be indulgent. Don't be afraid to be stupid. This is self-explanatory. Keep a little document with all your ideas and dumb thoughts, no matter how messy they are. You'll eventually thank yourself for writing them down and not losing them later. Who cares if you want to write a fairy themed romance set in space? Wait, thats homest

Read other fanfics, sure, but read things that aren't fanfic. A lot of fanworks follow molds that may not be the best to replicate in your own writing. (Remember the "genre" bit from above? This is also helpful here, because then you know what to look for.) Hell, you don't even have to settle down to read all 600 pages of a book. Read opening statements from different authors. Compare and contrast first chapters. Find out what you like and what you dislike re: writing and try to replicate it in the lab. Do you have a story hook? Do these authors have a story hook that made you want to keep reading? How was that applied?

You're not going to write the fucking Mona Lisa on the first draft. Get that concept into your head, make peace with it, there, now you're friends. First drafts suck ass.

First drafts should suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck big smelly turds.

You're not doing it wrong. Try not to be discouraged! Instead, take it as a chance to read over your story and figure out what is not working. Write it again, with improvements. Personally i can't write anything straight through and i know very little people who can without having planned it beforehand - thats another keyword. Loosely planning scenes and a sequence of events showing how things happen is good even if you're improvising most of it, it gives you direction. Even better, sometimes it can help you visualize entire chapters or stories before punching them out. Even better! Crossing out the little blurbs of scenes you've completed and seeing how many are left to go can keep you motivated to finish the whole thing.

Writing is a laborious process, you dont need to make it more mystifying. Most of the magic comes with editing, re-writing, and adjustements.

Also, when you're done writing let it rest. Coming back to a text you think is finished 1-2 days later can be very illuminating, as opposed to posting straight away.

I hope this is useful in some way, and if it isn't, maybe this could be more up to your speed:

youtube

(Don't be intimidated by the equation. That was a very optional tip in a runtime of friendlier ones)

This lecture has some engaging tips on quickly snapping up concepts for short stories - your intention may not be writing a short story, but you still can get a kick out of how quickly she can structure them, brainstorming, what is used to give a sense of narrative progress, how to break complex things into bites, etc. Don't be afraid to learn stuff from people who have been doing this for longer than you have, but remember no writing instruction is necessarily universal.

#fanfic #meta #?

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readbythestarlight · 4 years ago

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c2e125

Sam, there are some things no one needs to see

Yussah! My other favorite wizard!

He doesn’t want to help because he doesn’t want to possibly lose control of his form and reveal he’s actually a dragon

Oooo scepter?

A gold scepter with a talon? Interesting.

I love him

[[MORE]]

“All the more reason for me to stay behind” I love this cowardly wizard man

Ugh why are we talking to this asshole again

I don’t like him

Y’all aren’t going to get any answers from him

NoPE noPE Nope DONT like there where this is going

GET OUT

I M M E D I A T E L Y

CALEB

double Nat 20s awwww yeah

He’s so gross ugh

Caleb

Babe

Like I’m sure he’s just trying to squeeze what he can put before he bolts but still

Don’t like him taking the risk

And also I think this guy is a lying liar so

Please make that save

Okay thank god

Anyway we can still all agree Yussah is a dragon right?

This scrying sounds very uncomfortable

Nosebleed

In the middle of a snowy forest oops

Should be relatively safe maybe then

Wait omg what!

They get to go to Tal’Dorei!! Nice!

Gasp, Kima!!

A: “...Beholders and such”

Oh really?

Vestige of Divergence??? Meant to??? Combat!! Betrayer gods!!

U’kotoa better watch his back

Y’all, mages and magic folk probably aren’t who you need to take

Veth: “halfling to halfling, I gotchu!”

Veth plz don’t steal Kima’s sword I have a feeling you’re eyeing it up

Awww Kima offering to go and Allura’s like honey I love you and therefore no

Guys don’t drag Kima into this and get her killed

Okay damn, they’re getting all kinds of badass gifts

Does Allura know you’re friends with Artagan

Lmaooooo

Her eyes going squinty I KNEW she caught the name

V: “Are you a follower of the Traveler?”

A: “By. No. Means.”

Oh dang, what does her staff do for them?

Cad’s like “you can have mine if you want” and as soon as Jester mentions beetles goes “nope thanks”

Gonna?? Give?? Yasha the sword??

From one lesbian to another

“Skin gorger? Really?!”

“I didn’t name it”

“Kimaaaa I don’t want that in the tower”

Okay wait so what is happening

Is it a device to get them to the Astra plane

And if they see someone in a ship and they’re yellow it’s bad and they should run

Someone needs to check on Jester because she seems really upset and I think with each person refusing to actively go with and help them she gets even more discouraged

Is she gonna ask about the dagger?

Oh she’s not asking about the curse she’s asking about Caleb awww

The fact that Matt is giving them so much incredible gear though makes me AFRAID

Jester like “isn’t there a chance we’re wanted criminals?” like fuck

Gasp Dairon?!

They’re one non-wizard ally??

Oh DAMN some heavy Beau stuff out of nowhere

Oh Beau...

Group hug time, I think

Seriously, hug her

Yasha, hug herrrrr

New see invisibility? But only creatures lol

Oh Veth

D: “You’re making us all proud, I hope you know that” I’m soft

And then immediately after Beau’s “like hey btw we lost a very powerful magical item.... in the woods.....”

Dairon: “I take it all back”

Caleb I think you need to be less squishy more than you need anything else

especially up against Lucien

The dagger is finally coming out

Sam choosing to re-roll the one NOW and everyone losing it is amazing

Does GR break curses?

Okay good

And just like that the curse is broken, thank goodness

What the FUCK kind of curse is that

“You’re giving my ring back?!”

They’re so fucking cute

Honestly it’s amazing how much more lighthearted they all are now that they’re away from Eiselcross

Oh?? Beau planning the daaaaaate

The BeauYasha date is comiiiiiiiing

Ninjas??

She wants to

Fight

Ninjas

On their date

Beau, honey

I for one cannot WAIT for this disaster date

Oh no why Caduceus

FUCK OFF CITY LEAVE MY BOY

Oh okay? Not city? This seems suspiciously nice so far...

I knew it

What’s wrong are family okay

Fuck

It’s time to go home

The bark becomes flesh, branch becomes arm, stone and skin

Oh nooooooo

The FUCKING CITY

a city street made of teeth, I hate it

FUCK OFF, CITY

I will personally fight Aeor myself for hurting Caduceus this way

Yasha now, okay...

STORMLORD! It’s been a while!

He’s coming to say he’s proud of her for what’s going on with Beau? I hope

“Save us”?!

Matt could you not just let them have one nice night

“You found your strength, Yasha. Now you must learn to use it. You are not an implement of others. You’ve broken those chains. You are... an avatar of the Stormlord. I work through you, but your strength is your owns you’ve begun the first steps, but you must earn this one.”

Matt

MATT NO

NO MORE EYES MATTHEW

I MEAN IT SIR

motherFUCKER

so it’s not reading the book???

fucking hell

Fuck Matt’s sound effects are so good though

All the eyes FUCK

Matthew FUCKING Mercer

I’m flying to LA right now to personally fight him

Love you too Matt

Is it Thursday yet?

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #critical role #emi watches critical role

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pinkvhs · 5 years ago

Text

I’ve been debating doing this for some time now because for months I have been making posts out of tags because, like I said EVERYTIME, Sean doesn’t have to know everything we think. He doesn’t have to get wrapped up in everything. But since people to this day still take posts that I say (and others) and focus on things and completely miss the point and/or take it out of context to then post in the tags so spread false positivity and information, might as well do it then myself!

Truly, honestly, I am exhausted with this community. It’s been the most long dreadful thing year and as a result this year feels like 12 years.

People trying to constantly silence others who are going through actual hard times or voicing their opinions on things (ON THEIR OWN BLOG. MOSTLY OUT OF TAGS). Coming into inboxes to be like “that’s not PMA of you” , “ Seán would be dissapointed in you”, or telling people to “just leave” is disgusting.

How many times must we go through what PMA means? Sean has said over and over it’s not just a “always be happy” thing. That’s not realistic! People have used that (myself included) in the past to actually help themselves in ways as a small reminder. That just because today is bad, doesn’t mean tomorrow will be or that it will always be bad. To better yourself and take care of your mental health, even if you slip up at times. People have taken PMA and twisted it into forced fake positivity that “you must always be happy” and use it AGAINST people. How can people claim to be “‘more pma” and in the same breath say “Sean would be dissapointed in you”?!

Speaking of, don’t claim that Seán would be dissapointed in others just because they said something personal on their own blogs. People have the right to complain about things or have annoyances about things on their own blogs. Someone is annoyed with something irl ?- let them be annoyed. Someone is annoyed that their art doesn’t get reblogs but instead gets thousands of likes? - Let them be annoyed!!

Speaking of art with likes vs reblogs, people truly need to support creators that you like. People in this community who make edits/gifs & art constantly feel discouraged because their art doesn’t get nearly the amount of recognition as the jokes/memes that they make. People can spend hours, days, weeks, Hell even MONTHS on creative projects but when it’s done it gets like hundreds or thousands of likes but only like 38 reblogs (to name a number). But when those same people make a meme or joke post it can get hundreds of reblogs. It stings as an artists and creator. It has been making well known artists in this community lose motivation completely and not even want to creat anymore. But people see it as “shitting on people who make memes” it’s not. People can make memes, most of us don’t care about that, what we do care about is people only liking art (that they clearly enjoy since they liked it or even commented on) but refusing to reblog it. We aren’t saying to reblog or like things you DONT enjoy but if you clearly like it why not support a creator and reblog it? It’s not to boost ego like “oh I’m soooo great!!” its to help creators see that you do enjoy our hard work and that makes us want to push ourselves healthily more to create better things! Hell, there are so many young artists in this community that need support! Give them that! Spread work around, tags nice things, encourage them! Likes don’t encourage artists and if for sure doesn’t help if all you do is reply.

You can enjoy memes or whatever like I said, but when the tags are just constant jokes and hardly any art it’s no wonder why. Because being funny seems to get more attention then putting in hours up days of work. The same memes over and over, jokes going so long that they run dry by day 2, it’s evident where people’s support is. And that’s what’s making most artists leave, they feel discouraged.

But of course I don’t expect Seán do change everything! No one does! He is one person and a busy one at that! I don’t blame him for getting anxious whenever he comes online at all! I know he most likely wants us to be happy and content but sadly he can’t do that for every single one of us. I know he cares, I truly do. I’ve been watching him for years. But as of late it seems to be “joke funny first and only jokes”. It feels disconnecting and commercialized. But during the beginning of the year it didn’t nearly feel like that for me personally. It’s as if communication and connection are gone, which is sad because I don’t want it to seem that way. But it’s not Seán that seems that way too but also the community. It for sure isn’t me growing out of him or let’s plays either because I have 0 issue watching other lets players I enjoy and I also enjoyed him collabing with friends since there was so much genuine fun energy! It just seems like if Seán can’t be funny that he won’t be liked, which isn’t true. I hope he doesn’t feel that way but it sometimes reads as that. I want him to be happy but when he says things that contradict himself I get a bit worried.

People who complain, are upset, irritated, hell maybe even angry at things should be allowed to be. Let people be upset out of tags. Stop dragging everything everyone says into tags to make it “discourse” because it’s not. Most of us just want to scream into the void and pop off, but people dragging it on is what causes the exhaustion. The community desperately needs communication. Talking to each other. Not being “I’m right!!! You be happy and shut up!! Sean look at me!!” Or treat Seán like he is our dad an run to him each and every single time you have a problem. He isn’t some godly figure that can save you he isn’t your dad stop treating him like that to get your tiny bit of instant gratification.

Also, before anyone says, know I’m not attacking or wanting to purposely hurt anyone in perticular. Kids/teens who might see this know I’m not trying to go after you please don’t take this to heart if you disagree. Adults who are reading this I beg for you to please behave as such. Not to say “don’t have fun” because I’m 22 over here having a blast over dumb things unrelated to this post/situation, but to try to read and understand what is being said on why communication is needed.

Tags have been so dead and people are leaving for many reasons and it’s disheartening but I don’t blame them at all.

I was never going to make a tagged post but like I said in the beginning, fuck it at this point! Because I’m tired of people twisting words and taking things out of context to put it into tags. I’m tired of others trying to silence people who have justified complaints who never posted in tags to begin with. I’m tired of forced fake positivity. People using PMA against others.

I am tired

#.txt #jacksepticeye

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years ago

Note

any advice to someone who is starting a writing blog also how do you continue writing when you dont know how to continue the story or have writers block

Oooh this is a big question! First off, I hope you have fun starting a writing blog! I remember being so nervous to start mine. If you check out the tag #pwyl; writing tips (I’ll tag it to this post) you’ll find some previously shared tips but here’s some I can think of just now:

Write small. Don’t feel you need to start off with a series on your blog. I started with drabbles. My goal back then was to write 300-500 words a day at least 5 times a week, just because I wanted to write so badly. I remember I started my blog just before going away to a city up north for 2 days and on the plane ride home I was writing because I was so inspired haha. Anyway, the point is, if you write lots of little stories, then you can post regularly. The more active you are, the easier it can be to gain attention.

Ensure you’re tagging properly. The first 5 tags are searchable, the rest just go to your blog’s tagging system. So make sure the first 5 count. I always use “idol” fanfic / fiction / scenarios (or drabbles if it’s a short piece) / and the genre or au for my first five tags unless I’m using a network tag.

Which brings me onto the next one, join a network. Make a masterlist post first - even if you only have one story posted - and then check out networks that correlate to your preferred fanbase you’d like to get noticed by. You can generally find one for the group(s) you focus on or be more general based. If you’re writing for kpop, some good general networks are @kwritersworld and @kdiarynet ... but you’ll have to check if they’re open for new members. They tend to open applications regularly. By joining a network, even if the tagging searches on Tumblr fail you, your stories will be shared and reach your potential audience more easily.

Hit up other writers if you feel comfortable doing so. I can’t speak for others, but most of the writers I follow/support are supportive of each other and will help newbie writers out by reblogging their content. Don’t feel discouraged if some don’t, that might just be how they run their blog and that’s totally okay! But it’s worth a shot, in my opinion.

If you can, or want to that is, make it known what to expect from your blog. If you can post every Friday, let it be known. That way, people will be able to anticipate your blog’s updates. This isn’t necessary, but I did find it helped me tremendously when I made my schedule known.

This one is helpful for getting exposure and also for ideas - look for writing prompt blogs. That way you can tag the blog for credit and your story might be reblogged by that place, or if you use their specific tagging system, readers can find it. It’s also an awesome experience... you can get so inspired by some of the prompts out there. I know if I’m ever feeling stuck, I will go peruse a list of prompts and generally a story idea will stick out to me. Equally, and a bit of self-promoting here, you can try out the prompts on @challengingwords ... we share a prompt every fortnight and reblog all those who tag us in their stories - kpop related or not (so long as the tagging system works, ho hum).

As for writer’s block advice: when it comes to not knowing how to continue a story, the first thing I do is close the document and leave it for a week. Try writing something else so you feel like you’re being successful still. The more you focus on the problem, the more it becomes one. So I like to change focus for a bit, and allow myself to remove the negativity. If I come back to the story and I still cannot think of how to add to it, and I’ve reread the whole thing to see if I’m missing something, chances are, you need to ask yourself some big questions. Are you still envisioning things for the story? Can you see the end? Do you still love your characters? Did the last scene inspire you or do you not feel anything towards it? Generally, if you change something about what you last did, or step out the journey towards what you can see backwards on how you can get there, you should be able to find inspiration to continue it. If you can’t, then maybe now is not the time for the story and it’s best you put it on hiatus and either come back to it or let it go. I have unfinished stories that I know I’ll never finish and that’s okay. I focus on the ones I know I can finish instead. If you feel comfortable sharing your story during the process of writing it with a friend, do so. They might give insight that you can’t see due to being the creator. I often turn to my best friend/beta reader and complain about how difficult a scene or idea is being, and just talking it out with her can have me go “nevermind, I know what to do now!” or her advice can help me carry on.

I hope this helps and best of luck, anon. I do have a side-blog (shameless promotion pt2) @prettywordsyouwrite where I share tips and advice about writing when I feel the need to! Maybe there you will find some extra help.

#chellechats #pwyl; answered #pwyl; writing tips

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minhothebighoe · 5 years ago

Text

2:03 pm I Love You

Requested: yes: “Hey babes, hope your doing swell❤ What about Felix ( stray kids ) with a self conscious s/o? Like, she just doesn't thing she's good enough for him + so he hard core comforts her. Cuddles her until she gives up type thing. Possibly smut but if you don't write smut for him just fluff is fine.”

Word Count: 3.1 k

Summary: Your relationship with Felix was great at first, but when you two got caught in public it changed your life for the worst.

Warnings: mentions of feeling depressed, mentions of sex, small amounts of smut (just don’t blink), a mention of degradation kink (AGAIN DONT BLINK). And a cute/ sexy Felix

**also I haven’t proofread yet so hope it’s not too bad lololol, also maybe pt. 2 ???***

“Babe please tell me what’s wrong”

Felix sighed deeply, before laying a hand on my bare shoulder, gripping tightly at the exposed skin that poked out of my sweater. He looked and concentrated on me with worry and sadness that was clearly displaying on his soft features; his eyes showing nothing but pure and utter remorse. I turned away and stared at the floor silently with pure guilt and anxiety that was building and starting to weigh heavily on my chest. I hated myself for the fact that I was the one causing him to feel this way.

Things have been shitty for a while now, and I’m not talking about Felix or anything about him. Felix is literally the light of my life, and it’s not an understatement when I say I would literally take a bullet for the boy or give up my life to save his. Everything that is wrong is because of me, myself, and I.

Things were more than amazing in the beginning when no one knew of us together. When Felix could visit or hang out we would mostly just Sneak around and hide the fact we were an item. It was definitely hard most times,especially for him; he wanted nothing more than to show me off to the world, but at the same time it was oh so exciting. Even though Felix wanted to come out to the world as more than close friends he also loved concealing our relationship. He being the dirty Aussie boy he is admittedly ached to fuck me in public anywhere that he could get his hands on me, and shit, it was our dirty little secret.

However, things mostly took a toll for the worst when dispatch caught us together, and stays all over found out about the relationship.

It was late at night, Felix and I were at a park close to my home, and me being the dumb ass I am, was not thinking coherently. All I was thinking of was the lovely night me and my beautiful boyfriend were having, and the fact that he was physically there with me. At no time did it occur to me to think that other people would be up at the god awful hour.

In the moment, Felix was chasing me on the open grass field, and we were both happy and content. We didn’t need much more than each other to have a good time or have fun.

“You’ll never catch me!” I laughed, running faster away from my playful boyfriend who was right on my tail. I however, knew for fucking sure he was definitely gonna get me, I just wanted to tease the poor lad and get him all worked up.

Not even 10 seconds later he caught a hold of my hand and before I knew it, we both came to a dead halt. I turned around to face him and capture him at the moment, it almost felt like one of those cheesy kdrama moments where everything is in slow motion. His beautiful dark eyes stared lovingly and deep into my own. His chest was heaving up and down and all I could hear was the sound of his heavy breaths parting from those big beautiful pouty lips. He leaned his forehead onto mine before speaking with that sinful voice of his,

“God you have no idea what the fuck you do to me.”

That beautiful playful smile was now a wicked and sexy smirk, and god did I love it.

He pulled me closer to where my chest was touching his long lean frame; I felt his hands slowly travel and make their way down to my hips, it was almost teasingly unhurried. I felt a soft squeeze on the flesh, and a painful chill make its way up throughout my body. I thought I forgot how to breathe at that very moment.

Meanwhile felix’s eyes had never left mine, causing a certain feeling make its way through out my core deep within. I was aching for him to touch me, and I could tell he couldn’t wait any longer as well.

God you have no idea what you do to me, Felix.

He continued to smirk at me before impulsively bringing his lips down to my neck with such vigor and pure lust. I brought my hands instantly from his chest and placed them at the back of his head running them through and tugging on his sexy red locks. I gasped for air as I felt his teeth nip slightly at my flesh, hitting that sweet spot just right below my earlobe. He slowly proceeded to run his tongue over the bite mark before sucking ever so mercilessly. I could feel the heat rapidly making a pool in my underwear, and I didn’t know how much longer I could wait for him to touch me.

“F-Felix please.” I pleaded.

He detached his lips from my neck, and I could instantly feel a cool breeze attack the spot where his mouth once was.

He stared devilishly at me, his pupils getting blacker, before speaking

“Awe is my baby girl getting impatient…. don’t worry darling I’ll fuck you right.” I gulped; He leaned in again, and I could feel his hot breath hit the inside of my ear causing goosebumps to arise and my complexion go pale.

“I just wanna play with you first.”

I stared at Felix as my mouth went dry and my mind buzzed. His words alone were enough to get me off, and all I wanted was for him to rip my skirt off and fuck me right then and there.

But Then…..that’s when I heard it.

**click**

I snapped out of the trance like state, and forcefully pulled myself away from Felix’s body. I automatically knew exactly what that sound was and it was almost an instant shock of anxiety that rolled throughout my body. I looked over to Felix and I could tell he felt the exact same way.

“C’mon babe we have to go.” Even though he was trying to rush me, he said it as calminglyas possible.

** click **

As we moved quicker away, the more rapid the noise was becoming. Felix and I moved speedily, giving even Usain Bolt a run for his money, trying to get away from the situation. However, we both knew it was too late and the damage was most likely done. We were already caught and red handed at that.

“People are going to find out” I thought, anxiety filled my entire being with the thought. What will they think? This wasn’t no ordinary fan base I was going up against, these are kpop stans the most frightening yet loyal fans to ever exist. They were going to completely and utterly judge me.

and that they did.

It had only been 1 month since the pictures had come out of Felix and I embracing each other at the park, and let’s just say the backlash was worse than what I was expecting. Each day was more shoddy than the last, it seemed as each hour passed the more shit I was getting and the more comments filled my Social media telling me I wasn’t good enough, or that I was too ugly, too fat, and so on. At first it didn’t really bother me, I had hoped changing my profiles to private would help, and get people to calm down about the situation, and it did for a while. However me being me, I couldn’t help myself to search and see what the fans were saying,and as much as I wanted to ignore it, I couldn’t fucking do it.

“Ugly bitch, Felix deserves so much better.”

ugh.

“Where the hell did he find her? Probably some whore.”

Woah.

“Fat ugly bitch should lose some weight, she’s going to crush our poor Felix.”

Ow.

“They’ll never last SHE'S just another slut I mean look how short her skirt is in that picture, such a sleeze”

Okay then.

A couple more months had passed and I thought it would die down but for some reason it never did and as the number of comments and articles grew, I felt my deepest insecurities grow as well, drowning out any ounce of confidence I once had.

The fat comments were an especially hard pill to swallow as I had always been insecure about my weight. Even though deep down I knew I wasn’t “fat” I still had trouble looking at a mirror and being happy with the way I looked. And having a boyfriend who is an international heart throb did not make things easier to say the least.

“Why aren’t you eating babe?”

“You‘ve lost some weight love since the last time I saw you, I’m a little concerned”

“Babe please eat something, are you okay?”

Felix had seemed to have asked these questions quite a few times in the past months, and I would always reply with the same short answers along with a fake smile.

“Lixie I’m fine, I promise.”

“I’m just not hungry.”

“Ohh I just ate I’m okay.”

It wasn’t just the fat comments not causing me to eat, it was everything that was sending me into a spiral of self hatred and let’s just say: my very own demise. I had lost all appetite because all I could think of were those millions of fans telling me how ugly and disgusting I was, and, oh yeah, that I should do Felix a favor and just kill myself. And the most annoying thing was, I had no idea why it was even getting to me so much. It just hurt knowing that practically a whole fan base hated you because you loved someone so unconditionally, and you couldn’t do a thing about it or change their mind.

And I started to believe every damn word that was thrown at me.

I was too scared to even leave my home knowing that people knew who I was and how I looked. I didn’t want to risk it. I was scared, point, blank, and period. Sadly, I didn’t have anyone to confide in. I had always been mostly independent and an introvert so friends were very few and far inbetween;I didn’t want to worry my poor parents, as they would be devastated and heartbroken to know their little girl was feeling this broken. And, I couldn’t tell my boyfriend because he was busy most of the time getting ready for a fucking world tour to notice, and there was no way in hell I was going to distract him from that, so me being very discouraged to bring this up to anyone, kept to myself and thought being alone was the best option.

At least that’s what I thought I could do.

I guess I was naive thinking I could hide and push away my own feelings, but every negative thought, moment of regret, and all my insecurities were starting to show and make their way from the dark abyss and pile to the surface. I wanted anything but to worry Felix with my issues, however everything was becoming way too hard to mentally bare and I was reaching above my boiling point.

“Y/N, please for fucks sake talk to me, don’t you understand I’m here for you? Don’t you understand I can tell when something is wrong?”

Felix, who was sitting next to me, quickly got down on his knees in front of me. He placed a hand lovingly on my cheek, softly rubbing soothing circles with the pad of his thumb on the skin, causing me to feel somewhat calm.

I didn’t want to tell him how I was feeling partially because I didn’t know how to explain it. There’s just so much going on inside my head that it feels as if I’m at war with my own consciousness.

“I-I’m fine baby I p-promise I ju-“ tears were threatening to spill and I couldn’t even look him in the eyes.

“Bull fucking shit (y/n). You for the past 8 months have been anything but yourself, you’ve lost so much fuckin weight to the point where you’re skin and bones, you’re not eating, and I- I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, and it fucking hurts to see you like this and I-“ tears streamed down Felix’s face, and he cupped my chin and forced me to look into him.

Everything was accumulating and it was starting to reach a point where hiding these demons was not in the question anymore. Seeing Felix in this much pain because of me, tipped me beyond off the scale and I felt almost angry that all this bullshit had happened. Am I weak for wanting to tell him?

Would he be able to handle it?

As I was building the courage to speak, I turned my head away again hearing my phone vibrate. I could see the notifications building up from Twitter on the screen from the previous hour; Felix noticed too and instantly shot out his hand to grab my device.

“Felix baby no do-.”

I tried to grab the annoying hardware before Felix could see anything, it it was too late. His eyes widened.

“Kill yourself you stupid bitch,

you’re so unworthy of a man like Felix like actual filth lmao,

You’re an ugly fat whore who will never amount to anything ,

Watch out Felix, she’s only with you for your money”

As Felix read the words aloud it felt as if thousands of knives were being stabbed into my body over and over again, but all I could do was stare at the floor in front of me, and not dare to look at Felix. I didn’t want him to know things were this bad, I tried to shield him from the pain I was feeling because he didn’t deserve to be included in the affliction. My heart hurt but I wasn’t going to let him be included in that agony.

I loved him too much.

“Baby….” I could feel his eyes bore into my figure and at that moment I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Everything that had pent up over the past months finally spilled out into the open atmosphere, and holy shit I was a sopping mess to say the very least. I huddled over as the sobs poured out of my mouth, they were mixed with so much vexation, sorrow, and panic as I didn’t know how to feel. Felix quickly sat next to me and put an arm over my physique, pulling me in closer to his broad frame. My head lay atop his lap while I cried as much as I could. He peacefully stroked my hair with his fingers, and every once in a while layed some soft kisses atop my head.

I leaned my head to fit in the crook of his neck,taking in the scent of his cologne. He held onto me tight, as if he was never going to let me go again.

“Baby, all this time…. why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was almost quivering but I knew he wasn’t going to cry.

“I- I didn’t want to worry you, you had so much to do for the tour and I thought it was dumb an-“ he stopped me.

“(Y/N) it’s not dumb that people are harassing you and making you feel this way. Listen, I love my fans each and every single one of them. However, you have to realize that in every good person there are another 5 evil ones who don’t respect mine or your feelings for one another, and those people are not true fans.”

He brought my face to look at his.

“Listen darling, I love you and if some people can’t respect that then, that’s their problem. Our love is stronger than this and I know we will overcome this hurdle. That’s all it is, these comments don’t matter they’re just people who have no respect or no life to worry about and all they want to do is take that anger and hurt into other people. But holy shit, I just thank god nobody hurt you or physically or came after you….I don’t know what I would do.” Felix kissed my nose and stroked the top of my hand with his very own sending small impulses of electricity up my body. The heat of his body comforted me and I had never felt more love for him than in that very moment. For once I could finally breathe again and smile.

Felix brought a hand to cup my cheek, the palm of his hand felt so reassuring as he brought his soft lips down to mine gently and with such passion. He kissed me as if we had all the time in the world yet it also felt as if it was our last moment together. The world could’ve ended right then and there and I would’ve felt content being in his arms.

I guess I learned it’s not good to hold things in, and now I know if I’m ever feeling sad or hurt that there are people who love me and are willing to listen. And as much as I wanted them to be, my problems were not small especially if they had me feeling the way I did. I don’t have to be alone even in my darkest thoughts or weakest moments.

All I know is Felix lifted a weight off my chest that was too heavy for me to even nudge. And for him I am more than thankful.

“Also those comments are bullshit because if anything darling you’re to good for me princess .”

I smirked at him.

“Oh really now.”

“Yeah but let’s get one thing straight.” I eyed him as he bit his lip, he coyly took the soft skin in between his teeth as his eyes went dark.

“ the only person who can call you a filthy whore is me. Got it?”

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yournewfavoritethings · 5 years ago

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Y’all we gotta do something about the education system

I’m not just talking about the American school system, I’m talking about every one. I saw this post and it just tRigGEreD me to the core:

YALL WE GOTTA STEP IT THE F*** UP. CLAP YOUR HANDS IF YOU LIKE SCHOOL. HEAR THAT? NO YA DONT. literally everyone hates school and why?

We aren’t passionate abt what we’re learning

Information is forced upon us in an unhealthy process

The work is unreasonable and most likely things we won’t ever use again

Lastly, it teaches us to fit into little cut out spaces and fill roles that society expects from us.

Let’s dive deeper, shall we

Passion:

We’ve all heard this before, and yet none of us have taken a stand in any way that makes a difference. Listen, I know we all need basic math skills, and probably should read that Shakespeare book, and I agree. However, it doesn’t make sense that every year it’s MATH, HISTORY, SCIENCE, ENGLISH, and a sport or something. Like, how much do you think I’m gonna remember guys?

And none of us are into it. Personally, I love English. I could read and write and depict novels all day. On the other hand, I hate science with a passion. It does not make sense. Many students are like this, better at other subjects and maybe not as good at something else. Why is that so bad? I find myself dozing off in class bc it’s so boring. The way we’re learning isn’t learning at all. It’s being damn good at memorizing and cramming things last minute. THAT ISNT LEARNING which leads me into my next point

How we learn

First off, I’ve had 5 good teachers in my life. 5. I’m a sophomore in high school. The only reason I know weird things about how geometry works is bc of my 6th grade math teacher. The only reason I get human geography is bc of my AP human teacher. You wonder why I don’t understand biology? WE TAKE NOTES FROM OUR TEACHERS PAGES AND LISTEN TO HER READ OFF THE SCREEN. You wonder why my homework is excellent and my tests are failures? BECAUSE THEY ARENT TEACHING AT ALL, THEYRE EXPECTING US TO KNOW BC WE STUDY, AND THEREFORE ARENT DOING THEIR JOBS.

Secondly, students don’t learn the same. There’s this art piece of a monkey, a fish, and an insect or something and they’re all asked to climb a tree. This is the education system. Sometimes, people can learn easily bc they get it. For others, it’s impossible bc it’s not who they are.

And it’s unhealthy

get up at 6. Get off at 4. Have 3 hours of homework. Go to sleep at 9. Repeat. Do you know how unhealthy that is for teenagers? I play a sport and I have to go to practice at least two school nights a week. And on the weekend, teachers pile on everythingggggg. You wonder why we procrastinate? Cause we are unmotivated, tired, and physically unable. I take all AP classes bc it’s fun to learn, if you think about it. I’d love to know about the ecosystem and the planets. I think science is fun! I soak up facts about our ancestors and how our world came to be. I think history is fun! But the busy work, the stress, the never ending due-dates, finals, and homework make it unbareable.

Y’all have heard this before: we won’t use the work in the future.

No we won’t. The only thing I’d need it for is helping my kids with their homework, because the education system doesn’t change despite how awful it is. Honestly, it just keeps getting worse. Ted talks and posts about this are endless, so I won’t go into detail, you get the just.

Societal Roles

School is meant to enhance our creativity and our uniqueness, but it does the exact opposite. It discourages our individuality by making us take tests and work for meaningless grades. Think of the billionaires who didn’t go to college. Think of the successful people who are mathematicians or scientists. Everyone that comes to mind when I think of someone successful, probably didn’t use any of their prior high school knowledge to achieve their dreams. I’m tired of being anxious all the time. Even as the school year nears I feel myself becoming depressed, scared, and stressed already. What a shame.

Solution:

My first solution is that we have Fridays as half days, and start school at at least 9, but 10 would be better. The school day should still end at 4.

Why?

This will decrease stress dramatically and allow students proper time to rest. Having that delay will allow students to have healthier sleeping schedules and more time to do homework. While this does decrease time for actual learning, I believe schools can make it work. Having A/B schedules where students have half their classes on A day and the other half on B day should suffice nicely. As for Friday’s, the school should get out at 12 and be kept open until 3 for students to come in for tutoring. Teachers will then have to work until 4 bc we need our grades in and this allows them up to 4 hours to sort everything out.

Next solution, from Kinder through 8th grade, the four main subjects should be enforced as they are just basic means of education (but kept the same as they already are). High school should allow students to have 3 years of each, so that they can pick which classes they want to take that year.

This allows more room for endorsements and sports throughout your high school years. Personally, high school is already a drag for me and if they’re gonna continue the work load, then they’ve gotta cut the time we have to endure it. Everyone I know is so anxious all the time, they’ve turned to drugs and alcohol and juuls. Honestly, I think it’s bc it gives them an escape, but I wouldn’t know. On top of that, everyone’s depressed. I can blame about 70% of this on education alone. Imagine having the freedom to grow into a person you want to be. With this schedule, I really think we can. We have more time to figure out who we are and what our passion is through picking classes that suit us instead of the main 4. Plus, teachers will benefit as well. They get to teach those who want to learn their subject and will strive for it.

Last solution, work load needs to be fixed.

I’m not just talking homework, I’m talking busy work, projects, and tests. I’d rather learn than do that crap, bc, what a shocker! It doesn’t help. Tests should be once every two months, with quizzes enforced every two weeks. Quizzes should be no longer than 20 questions, and tests no longer than 40. Half the amount of homework we already receive should become optional, and a study resource more than a grade. I get about 5 pages a week in math alone, not to mention the amount I get from other classes. Let’s cut that to about 15 questions and have 3 pages of optional study work that help you understand the subject.

And for busy work, let’s make that a thing once every week, and for a short amount of time. The rest should be practicing with the teacher or optional station work.

Projects, on the other hand, should be given once every month. They shouldn’t be huge projects, but just simple ones to cover the unit. Nor should they be useless. I’m not gonna go design a topographic map at home and waste my money on poster paper or connect a baseball game to a mathematical equation. Give me a few key materials to research and a few options on how I want to complete it such as, google site, video, presentation, or creative side like drawing. Whatever benefits the student.

See how I’ve included every students needs and ways of processing the material, along with setting realistic expectations to uphold them to? Not that hard.

Please feel free to add more! I’d love to hear y’alls opinion on school and what you think of my solution! I’ll probably make a legit paper on this bc I kinda just threw this post together lol

#school #advocate #change #acceptance #education #american education system #ted talk #welcome to my ted talk #paper #back to school #i hate school #we are the change #studying #school work #study tips #tips #hacks #life hacks #freedom of our students

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vincent-frankenstein · 5 years ago

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different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half.

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day.

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too.

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep.

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

#me: /spends a full half-hour infodumping abt something most people havent even heard of/#now if only i could remember this much when it comes to schoolwork lmaooooo #ty for the Infodump Permission im !! vibin rn #lowkey highkey this makes me wanna get back into it. . . might do a wbtb tonight...#personal #logan talks #lucid dreaming #Anonymous

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softforcal · 6 years ago

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hiii

hello! these types of questions are great don’t worry! everyones different but yeah, let me tell you about my writing process :) (this is a long ass writing rant and hopefully it’s helpful)

so for headcanons tbh, i just write them. like. i sit down and write it all in one go and tbh not much thought goes into them there isnt really a plot it’s just notes practically so headcanons for me are not difficult at all. fics/oneshots are where things actually heat up.

so for my fics i do note form outlines. what this means is i have all the major things that have to happen already lined out. i put it on a word doc on half my screen and the fic on the other and there’s no plan on how to get to each note point but i know i have to get there somehow, but having basic goals makes it easier for me.

when it comes to fics there’s usually a brainstorming process. i have two wonderful amazing loves of my absolute life @hereforlukescruff and @glitterprincelu and usually it will start with me saying an idea and we all just kind of start shooting ideas and bouncing off of each other. this process can take hours. like. i remember when i came up with gang luke (penumbra) i was in class and we ended up chatting about it for 3 hours and coming up with shit. when the main brainstorm is done i plot it all out. i have a few ocd tendencies, one of which is linear stuff means a lot to me. like i can’t start a fic at the end. i need to start at the start. so i’ll plan as much as i can but sometimes i stop at the middle and i re-evaluate once i get there and have a better sense as to where the story is going.

for me, characters are huge. like. i have the plot points but characters drive everything else. so i’ll often have a sit down and reevaluate what has happened to them and how they’re feeling and see if it’s all making sense for them, but, because i brainstorm a lot, usually i don’t end up changing much. strong characters are key my dudes.

my biggest motivator to get to the end of the story is well, the characters. i love them so much and writing for them feels so comforting to me. LOVE YOUR CHARACTERS. but also. something ya’ll gotta understand about me is that i’ve been writing fan fiction for 8 years. i’ve probably spent an average of 2 hours a day (and that’s seriously low balling it) so thats 2x365=730x8=5840 hours that i’ve written and that’s probably too low to be accurate. so i’m a writer. i type fast as fuck and i’ve been doing this a while so writing comes very easy to me, ideas are constantly flowing. this is legit what im pursuing as a job so don’t be discouraged if you can’t write 10k in a day like I do because... well, i’ve had a fuck ton of practice. writing 10k in a day is pretty common for me i’d say, once i sit down with a oneshot i don’t want to leave until it’s done.

but. i also again, have a bit of an ocd thing and when it’s paired with anxiety, it makes it hard for me to stop. i need to get things done. to check stuff off my list. or i get bored. if i leave a fic for even a day or two, it’s likely i’m not gonna finish it. so for me, and i know this, its important to wait until i have a sufficient amount of time to bust something out and a plan makes it so easy because i don’t have to stop and ask myself “okay now what”

what more can i say about writing.... uh... characters. so important. dialogue. key.

like i’ll start a fic with a general idea about an OC but as the fic continues they grow and i really enjoy watching them grow. i think a good rule of thumb if you’re having troubles with this is immerse the story view point in the most solid character you have (i’ll give an example of this in a moment) and use their perspective and musings on a different character, like what they notice, to promote growth.

example of what i mean when i say this. i recently wrote prince cal and from the start, he was my strong character. Ostara was new, she’s ashton’s sister, she’s back for the first time in a while. the very first paragraph establishes that calum is taken aback by how much she’s changed. there’s still some similarities to how she was growing up and i weave that comfort of the known throughout the story (with things like chicken fights in the pool or musing about how they used to play hide and seek as kids) but from the start, Calum is knocked off his feet by how beautiful she’s gotten and that’s a very obvious symbol of change, not just outside but in. so as the fic continues calum notices things about ostara. for example. the second time i wrote she was wearing a print of some sort, calum and i both mutually realized, ‘huh. she likes prints i guess.’ because ostara is ostara, i dont control her, in my brain she’s her own person, she’s dictating whats happening and baby just likes prints. and calum notices which says something about him, but its also little details like that that bring these characters to life.

i mean. i don’t know how other people write characters. my characters are always alive to me. they have their own voice and knowing their reaction to things is second nature to me. but this can be attributed to the fact that i legit wrote fan fiction about actual characters (MCU, TVD, Teen Wolf, etc...) for 6 years and being able to step into those characters and do dialogue that seemed legit was the most important thing for me. so i have a FUCK TON of experience on characters. so once again, if its hard for you to step into your characters thats okay. maybe do those things where you have a fill in the blank sheet on whats their fav food, their fav colour, do they like summer or winter? etc....

i think there isnt one way to write. i think i’m blessed that i’ve ALWAYS been a writer. since i was like 4. you know in elementary when they made you write and they’d give you those little booklets and shit? other kids had like one or two at most but this whore was always on book number 6 or 7 like, im a writer. it’s what i am. it always has been what i am.

im also a multitasker. so most of my writing is done while watching shows. which means its a double whammy for me. like. im learning about characters and plot WHILE writing so... as you can see, i’m hard core as fuck about this shit.

my point is. my process is a process that i think is pretty particular to me. most people i know cant watch tv and write at the same time. most people don’t sit down and bust out 10k in one sitting. and thats fine. if you enjoy writing then do it. focus on what you can be doing better, this isnt a competition. at the end of the day, the only person you should be trying to be better than is the person you were yesterday, or last week, you know?

find people who are creatively inclined because holy shit it makes a huge difference. bouncing ideas off of supportive people is really important. without my friends, Birdie in Penumbra might be named Cherry, the Gang AU wouldn’t have an ending all planned out and ready to be written, and i would have missed out on so many hours of face time calls and back and fourth messages with two of the most important people in my life right now.

so lets break down what the fuck i’m even saying

-find supportive people (but it’s important you support them as well. if they’re gonna let you throw ideas at them and help you out and pump you up, reciprocate hoe)

-focus on yourself

-find what you’re good at. plots? characters? dialogue?

-find ways to strengthen the things you’re not so good at (character fill in sheets, plot planning, etc...)

-find what, at the end of the day, really works for you

-don’t put pressure on yourself. writing is for fun. it should be fun. and if it is fun, i think motivation will come easy? but i could be wrong, once again, i have an addictive personality and writing is a fix i need every day or i go insane.

yeah. if ya’ll have any more writing questions let me know. i love answering these because i think it’s so interesting to really look at the process :)

#Anonymous

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