#maybe cause I’m up and she doesn’t want me to be???
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has anyone else noticed that homestuck is getting kinda long?
(page 1145-1148; some thoughts on pacing and accessibility)
Jade’s bass playing to grow or move the lilypads works, and was well foreshadowed – in addition to both her bass playing pages where the garden atrium grows because of the amp in there (p.822, 1026), Jade captchalogues the bass (p.823) and the narration specifically notes ‘You take the PORTABLE AMP from the WALL SOCKET too.’ It feels like Act 3 has been entirely leading up to Jade entering these ruins.
In ‘[S] Jade: Pester John’ (p.1073), Bec guards the mystic ruins on Jade’s island, and a glowing white spirograph in the ‘same’ location mapped onto Prospit. So it’s a fair guess that the white spirograph was also present on ancient Earth, and may have been the cause of the ruins’ construction. And that means it might still be within the ruins, and could act as a portal to Skaia, which would allow Jade to go there while she’s awake. If she did that, could she travel to Prospit and find her own dream self? Or is her dream self only present on Prospit when her waking self is asleep? Either way, I think these ruins will be Jade’s backdoor into Sburb.
I love all three of these Jade pages for the visuals – 1145 because it’s cool when two panels match up into one bigger one (and interesting to think about why this was chosen instead of one bigger panel – maybe because one is Jade and one is the amp, and they’re two separate focal points?) and 1146 because Jade imagining herself as a frog as she jumps over lilypads is so fun and silly. I checked Wikifur and apparently amphibians such as frogs are classified under scalies, which is different to her interest in a ‘proud snout’, ‘the hunt’ and ‘claiming the night’ (p.797) but still fits with her desire for ‘a more visceral sapience’ and escaping the confines of humanity. So I feel like Jade doesn’t have one specific fursona, and wants to keep her options open with different animals.
And 1147 is just incredible – the glowing green symbols look like something from a hacker movie, like Jade’s entering a digital space, but at the same time we know this is physical stone and ancient hieroglyphs. Those things being meshed is very cool to me, and it makes me wonder just how much of all human technology was originally from Skaia. The mesmerizing soft glow gives the page a dreamlike quality, a reminder that Jade doesn’t have a plan, she’s just following instructions from her dreams and acting on faith.
John told Dave ‘i think you should use your copy of the game to help [rose]!’ on page 294, and it has taken 854 pages and over half a year in real time for him to install the game and help, but they are finally making this transpire. I was saying yesterday how Jade challenges Rose, and today I’m saying that Dave doesn’t challenge Rose at all. They have great banter, but Rose always has a leg up on it – and I think she types and/or thinks faster too, as she gets in her ‘Go on.’ before Dave can finish his ‘where making this’ sentence, when usually he’s the one to send a bunch of messages in a row.
Here’s the thing. I am speaking directly to Rose Lalonde here. Hi Rose, I understand that your house is burning down and things suck right now and you should not have to be the person who has to micromanage all your friends and deal with this entire situation alone. However. You are being dumb as shit by not giving Dave some basic instructions on exactly what to do the second he loads the game. You know that kid is not gonna read your GameFAQs. You know he can dish out those giant long monologues but he cannot take them. Please Rose, for your own safety and possibly the future of humanity or something, give the guy like three bullet points.
...no? Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff reference instead? Okay then.
This update also comes with a newspost, which I’m going to quote in full below.
That's my cue to disappear. Time for me to vanish into the animation abyss for a while. Let's give it a week, tops. If you're one of those people who has trouble keeping up with all the updates I bury you with, maybe now's a good time to catch up. And if you're one of those people who's finding everything going on in the story to be somewhat confusing and overwhelming, then maybe now is a good time to go back and reread it all. I'm pretty sure about 95% of all MSPA readers huddle somewhere beneath this umbrella. (/news 8 January 2010)
I have been thinking about the update frequency, and thought I was projecting because I definitely put an above average amount of time into Homestuck, but maybe this is a bigger issue. People only have so much time in the day, but some people do have more time than others. Relative to other webcomics, Homestuck asks readers to put a lot more time into it, a lot more frequently – both because the updates come fast and because the story is complex. It rewards people who do put a lot of time into it, because the small details, patterns and parallels, time loops, etymologies, and opportunities to predict and even influence (via user commands) the story encourage people to stay up to date, to read closely and reread often. The more effort you put into reading Homestuck, the more you get out of it, and that’s incredible, but it’s definitely made by and for people who have a lot of leisure time. So, young middle class people, especially teenagers and college students who don’t need jobs, and people who are socially isolated for whatever reason, will be way overrepresented. (I do this project because I love it and I do it by choice, but balancing this with work and school and relationships and my other major hobby is not easy especially with what’s felt like a recent increase in update frequency!)
This quality also makes it more competitive with other webcomics – someone might have time to keep up with, say, 20 webcomics that post a once per day or three times a week strip that stands alone or is part of a relatively simple story. If that person wants to follow Homestuck, they might have to drop down to 15 or even 10 other comics, because this one takes up such a disproportionate amount of space. This idea of creators putting out constant content to stay afloat on a transient internet, such that it could be a full time job to keep up with it (and sometimes is – there’s franchises that have in-house lore experts because creators themselves struggle to keep track of stories) will become huge in the future. And when we can all only pick a couple pieces of media to stay up to date with, life gets harder for smaller, newer and part time creators, who can’t provide that yet. And yeah I’m probably part of that problem.
I might also disappear for a few days to work on end of act 3 stuff! or I might not! if I have anything to say in the meantime or any fun asks then I will post. but at the absolute latest I will post on the day EOA3 drops and if I don’t do that then send an ambulance to my house.
> John: Ascend to First Gate.
#homestuck#reaction#potentially 1 whole week without homestuck coming up#the longest hiatus there has been so far. and surely the longest there ever will be!#chrono
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Hi I happy you’re open I wonder if tfp bots and cons react to a bot who is like demencia from villainous who love destructions and chaos and is insanely crazy
TFP BOTS AND CONS REACT TO BOT WHOS LIKE DEMENCIA FROM VILLAINOUS!
GUESS WHOS BACKKKK HEHEHWHDHWJS🤪
It’s been so long I’m so fucking sorry my lovelies. Took a break from doing requests bc I’m so lazy and I got so many.
I hope yall can forgive me, you prob can’t which is understandable. Been doin a a lot of work too. I’ve been active on tumblr just haven’t been doing requests:( I still love yall and I’ll be opening requests soon when I get all these old requests done!!
Also I’ve never watched villainous so I’m so sorry if this isn’t the best!!
Anyways here you go, my lovely.💗💗
Notes: READER IS GN!! Reader is going to be called Y/N!
Warnings: killing!! And uh I think that’s it. If not pls tell me💔
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AUTOBOTS:
-they’re lowk scared of them LMAO.
-like they don’t know where they came from at first. They just randomly came out killing vehicons, which did help though.
-it was Optimus, bulkhead, and bee that first encountered them. The three mechs were on a mission trying to find some energon deposits they picked up and was surrounded by vehicons who were doing the same thing as them.
-out of nowhere a vehicon was ripped in half by two servos, revealing the insanely crazy bot who was covered in energon.
-let’s just say no vehicons survived after the chaos of Y/N.
-Optimus took them in and introduced them to the others while bee and bulkhead looked kinda scared (and maybe traumatized) from the scene they saw. They knew what Y/N was capable of after all.
-luckily, they join the autobots and all is well, as crazy and insane Y/N was still pretty loyal.
-Ratchet isn’t fond of them. Another bot that’s crazy and annoying?? Ugh. He wants to join the allspark at this point. One time he muttered that to himself and Y/N heard him.
“You wanna join the allspark?? I can help you with that!” they exclaimed happily. “NO!”
-Arcee is just glad they’re an autobot, she doesn’t want another Airachnid to give her PTSD.. she thinks their antics and mischief is kinda annoying, but as long as they’re loyal and helpful then she’ll like them.
-Bee is SCARED of them. After seeing them rip open all those vehicons he might just leak some oil. But after knowing them for a bit he gets fond of them and isn’t as scared..still kinda scared tho. Y/N likes his little beeps too</3
-Bulkhead is kinda the same as Bee, but more comfortable. He likes wrecking things, and so do they! They become good friends, they remind him of Miko but in hot form and not as..deadly.
-Optimus just respects their loyalty. He does question their ways of…thinking and actions during missions, but if they help it’ll be fine..but I can see that they’ll definitely make him upset after one mission and be scolded by him, causing Y/N to die down with the chaos a bit. Either way, he likes you. Doesn’t want you to change you ways:) (he’s like a dad)
CONS:
(Im only doing Megatron, starscream, knockout, BD, and Soundwave. I’m sorry my lovelies 😞)
-scared of them too LMAO
-Knockout and starscream were doing a mission together, something about some energon deposits. They were accompanied by some vehicons as well for protection. (We all know damn well the vehicons dead. I love them tho)
-one of the vehicons noticed two F/C optics staring at them all and called them out, only to be pounced on and ripped in half by this new random bot.
-after that this new bot eventually focuses their optics on starscream and Knockout. Starscream noticed this and starts whining and screaming like a femme while Knockout and Y/N just stare at him like: “dafuq..?”
-After that..whatever it was..starscream and knockout convinced them to come along with them to the Nemesis. They get introduced to lord Megatron himself while Starscream and knockout told the warlord of their skills and what they did to the vehicons. He was impressed. So, with that they were now a con! Yayyyy!!!
-Megatron was impressed after hearing their skills. And, he dgaf abt their chaos and mischief. As long as they get their missions and duties done, they’re on his good side. (And as long as they’re loyal) he is amused at how some were afraid of them too (starscream, Knockout, and breakdown)
-Starscream lowk scared of them. He’s pathetic, but i love the lil guy. He doesn’t like going on missions with them ALONE. It’s like another Airachnid but prob worse all over again😥 kinda hates their loyalty to Megatron, be thought he could make them loyal to him when he becomes lord. (Never happened tho LMAO)
-Knockout is scared of them as well. Not as much as starscream tho. Doesn’t rlly talk to them as much, but he does compliment their skills whenever they go on missions tg.
-Breakdown doesn’t rlly talk to them, but after going on a mission with them he just met his new bestie westie! Both like chaos and wrecking things! Sooooo that just means they were meant to be besties😛
-Soundwave don’t like them at first cuz they remind him of Airachnid. But, once they prove their loyalty and dedication (and skills) he’ll become slightly fond of them. As long as they are loyal then he’s fine with them.
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OK THATS IT!! I LOVE YALL AND IM SO SO SO SO SORRY AGAIN FOR THE LONG AS BREAK. BYE BYE MY LOVELIES, OPENING REQUESTS WHEN I CAN!!!
#transformers#oh#tfp#transformers bumblebee#tfp megatron#tfp optimus prime#tfp breakdown#tfp arcee#tfp soundwave#tfp knockout#tfp ratchet#tfp starscream#tfp bulkhead#villainous#demencia#tfp megatron x reader#tfp optimus x reader#tfp ratchet x reader#tfp arcee x reader#tfp bulkhead x reader#tfp bumblebee x reader#tfp starscream x reader#tfp knockout x reader#tfp breakdown x reader#tfp soundwave x reader
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🥰
#im sleeping over at my friends/dogsitting place#and she’s letting me chill downstairs and paint#since she goes to bed a lot earlier than I do#but I’m just so anxious right now#I’ve never painted while she was home#and I’m so scared I’m going to be too loud or something#I think I might just do a painting and call it a night#maybe just chill in the bed after that idk#I can’t wait until I have my own place one day#I just want to paint and leave my craft shit out and not care abiut it#like I just realized I have to clean all this shit up before I go to bed cause I don’t want the mom to see it#I’m sure she’ll be fine with it but still#she’s getting home from a trip and I don’t want the first thing she sees is a messy dining room table#I was so excited to paint tonight#and just have a night to myself#but it’s not going as planned#grrrrrr#and maya keeps growling and idk why#maybe cause I’m up and she doesn’t want me to be???#ok she just barked#I guess I’m just gonna go to bed#change of plans#ughhhhhhhhh#I love maya so much but whyyyy puppy whyyyy#I just wanted to paint 😭😭😭#wow this was a rollercoaster#I was so excited to chill and paint#but oh well#bah humbug#shut up rosie
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I wish we had a betrayerrrrr
#dav spoilers#and NO solas doesn’t count cause we knew before launch he would do that as thee literal betrayer god#and also he was never a companion to rook!!!! doesn’t count!!!#I’m talking I need Neve bellara or emmrich to be the one to backstab me and it should’ve been intense!!!!#I’m selfish so I want it to be emmrich but I feel like bellara has that like. out-of-left-field-but-also-kinda-understandable vibe#like maybe at the end we find out bell has been working with anaris all along#just. something man. god.#I don’t really see how Neve could betray us if I’m being honest. she’s not the type imo#emmrich… augh#in another life (maybe four or five rewrites ago) I could really see him getting up to something he shouldn’t#but the man that he is today… he’s too goody goody to pursue alterior motives
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My roommate and I had a conversation last night and I keep rotating it in my brain and I Don’t Like It
#blue chatter#they called me a resilient person. and no the fuck I am not. I break down so easily over everything and my body is falling apart on me.#I scream in terror when someone knocks on the door too hard the fuck you mean I’m good at handling adversity#I pointed out that I freak out whenever my grade gets low even a little bit#and they were just sitting there like ‘yeah. and then you pick yourself up again and you do the work.’#and no? not always? oftentimes I give up and don’t try hard enough to fix it and let points go that I could have earned#I barely ever go for extra credit opportunities and I’ve never gone to office hours of my own free will#I can’t even think about talking to a professor about a bad grade without wanting to cry? hello?#but they were insistent that even with those things I am still managing Incredibly Well in class given the circumstances. which made me#uncomfortable. like. I don’t think of myself as resilient At All and I feel a bit like I’m lying or tricking them.#I start shaking like a chihuahua when people are upset and I’m In The Vicinity. even when they’re clearly not upset with me.#I really struggle to advocate for myself ever and even when I do I usually feel guilty and walk it back partway so I don’t cause a fight#and I always get way too emotional for the situation when someone has anything they’re upset with me for. which isn’t fair to them bc I need#to be able to take constructive criticism without taking it as a personal attack on me.#like what the fuck do you mean *resilient*. I can’t even handle seeing a bug flying near my face or getting a B in a class. or being told#that I did something wrong. I’m actually significantly worse at handling adversity than I used to be. high school me was a resilientish kid.#and it’s not like I was ever *good* at handling my emotions. even when it was essential for my safety. I’ve always cried way too easily#even when it actively made the situation I was in Much Worse. even when I knew better.#I would get angry and scared and sad and start shaking and crying and even screaming at my parents when they were mad at me even though#I knew that it would always make my life much worse. and extend an already beleaguered argument.#I brought this up with my therapist and she was like ‘well. anybody would have done that if they were treated like you were’.#which. okay. maybe so. I still feel like I should have been able to handle it and just shut up and move on and not make it worse.#but I am aware that this is probably a cognitive distortion. even so. that definitely doesn’t make me resilient.#I just. I feel gross being called resilient. I’m not. I’m weak and easily scared and unable to handle even small amounts of adversity.#the fuck is my roommate even *seeing*.#the annoying part is that they’re generally an insightful person about other people and I know logically that they’re probably right#which is why I’m not going to complain any more about this to their face bc I should just drop it and not make it a Thing#I talk too much about myself and my problems anyway. not every conversation has to be about my brain worms.#but the discomfort is Distinct and Unpleasant. and now I’m just having to sit with it. and Feel Uncomfortable. and try to accept what was#definitely intended as a compliment. I know it’s draining to talk to someone who doesn’t accept any of the kind things you say about them.
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No one:
Me: does anyone want to hear what my sims family did today
#i am fucking neck deep in the sims 2 super collection and will not be resurfacing any time soon#so far nannies are causing ALL of my problems in this neighbourhood it’s actually ridiculous#tell me why this bitch; instead of waiting for my sim to get home from work and pay her; left early and stole one of our kitchen counters#and THE TODDLER’S XYLOPHONE?? what was it all for#then she refused to come back the next day so i had to keep the teenager home to watch his little brother. SHERYL WHEN I FIND YOUUUU#thank god i managed to resurrect his grades#also in a different family the kid aged up into the fucking whiniest person in the world. and i’m trying to find him a person#but he doesn’t like ANYONE. it’s exhausting. i’m playing the prosperity challenge right? which means i started out with four CAS families#all with kids about the same age. and i was hoping some of them would like each other so i could start merging families next generation#but one of my boys was like ‘nope i like this random girl’ and another was like ‘nope i found a really boring boy’#and another was like ‘i like the paper girl!’ but why do none of you like EACH OTHER. answer me that#i’m not sending all of your boring significant others to college with you. you can have your high school sweetheart with the alien eyes#because she’s pretty cool looking; but the cookie cutter boy and the paper girl might have to stay home to be honest#what else is happening. i mean i renovated a maxis dorm and built some really rubbish community lots#i’m horrendous at building. i go for function over aesthetics so i end up with really boring buildings#but the neighbourhood now has a cemetery; a general store/coffee shop and a roller rink/arcade#so that’s kind of nice. not that anyone USES these businesses. i sent one of the boys there to look for his future spouse and just found#somebody’s dad repeatedly falling over#maybe once they all get to college i can just do some sort of forced proximity love potion situation and they’ll HAVE to like each other#i don’t want to add too many households to the neighbourhood and only one of my original families has one kid#that’s why i want as many people as possible to marry off. BUT NO ONE LIKES EACH OTHER it’s so annoyingggg#personal
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Me: yeah I’m not that big of a fan of birds.
*loves ravens crows and tufted titmouse’s*
Me: well…. Maybe I’m not a fan of parrots??
#very much so#idk what I’m doing with this#when I see a tufted titmouse I get so happy!!! I saw one yesterday I think??#little gray birds with puffs on their heads…#there’s also a family of crows that sometime live in my back yard!!#I wish I could befriend them but they are so far out there idk if they would accept treasure from me#I see them when I do the dishes and I know it’s gonna be an ok day when I see them#they haven’t been around tho cause it’s been so hot out#I hope they come back in the fall🥺#since I’m info dumping: the feral kittens that live on my front pourch have stopped running and I’m able to pet the biggest one!! he’s#black and white and we named him Munchi.#their mother cat is sooo wild but I have touched her back twice now!!#the kittens are so dumb tho when the water bowl is empty they curl up in it😭#sadly I can’t bring them in when I get them tame. if I could keep my cats inside I would without a moment of hesitation#but my mom will not let me. she doesn’t want any inside animals.#oof.#when I leave I’m taking Moose Marmalade and Munchi with me. and maybe all the others but Jam and Smelly Cat don’t get along#and also… 11 cats is a lot oof#Moose Marmalade Notch Jam Smelly Cat Rock Stripes Munchi Mallow Boo & the unnamed one#she’s a tortoise shell and I haven’t thought of a name for her yet#wow. this is a lot of info dumping
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I think I’m failing therapy
#personal fuity shit#I can’t answer my therapist’s questions#I feel like I’m only repeating myself every session#I can’t do the things she asks me to. and I don’t even know why. I just can’t#I don’t exercise. I don’t leave my room. I barely drink water. I have an eating disorder#I honestly don’t know what she could do for me. and I noticed she doesn’t either#maybe I truly am a lost cause#I’m stuck in place. can’t get better and sometimes seems to be getting worse#when I told her I don’t even want to live anymore she kinda got. pissed at me?#she made it sound like ‘being alive only because I don’t want to make my mom sad’ is the most insane and wildest thing she’s ever heard#and that I was crazy to even think about it#as if that wasn’t my only thought for like idk 8 years or so#ALSO she keeps putting my bisexual identity in question every opportunity she gets. like wtf#just because I’ve never hooked up with a girl doesn’t make me any less bi#‘are you truly bi or just curious?’ idk and idc ma’am you’re the one bringing this up and making it look like a problem#I’ve got lots of complaints but. it’s not easy to quit#I’d have to tell my mom an excuse as to why I want another therapist#and looking for a new therapist is just nightmare#I’m just tired. really wish I could think about killing myself more in depth without feeling guilty#thinking about how my mom’s life would be shattered and all the pain I’d cause her gives me goosebumps. it breaks my heart
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My mom was just like ahhh Im anxious to go out of my comfort zone and I was like you’re good how is this out of your comfort zone you’ve done this before and she was like why do you always judge my feelings and say I’m not allowed to feel that way I should feel some other way and I’m sitting here like :| as if she hasn’t done that to my my entire life and as if I didn’t mean you’ve done this before as a you got this sentiment not get over urself
#literally she said that and I just put my headphones on and went into my room bc if I had stayed out there I would’ve said ‘like you’ve done#to me my entire life’ and she would’ve had a shitty night and yelled and/or cried at me and I would’ve felt bad#so I just put my headphones on and walked away and it’s just like god how can she be so fucking unaware#like I got these fucking habits from somewhere like you think maybe growing up depressed and suicidal in a family that didn’t talk about or#publicly feel their emotions made it difficult for me to express things and you think maybe you making me feel bad constantly because of my#depression and on top of my depression might have transferred into me saying things that hurt you and not meaning it#but I can’t say any of this becusse obviously she didn’t mean it at the time she didn’t know how to deal with me but fuck man it just fucks#me up cause i don’t want to be constantly trying to get pay back against my mother or whatever but I also feel like she’s constantly trying#to say shit to me about her going on dates or whatever when I have repeatedly told her I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t like when#she jokes about it and I tell her to like get a hobby other than men and like I’m joking but I’m fucking not#like she spends all her time out with guys or talking about guys or texting guys while we’re supposed to be hanging out and I have both#never felt more isolated and alienated from my family and have never felt this weirdly connected to my family#like I feel like how my mother felt when I was doing stupid shit and she didn’t want to say anything and when she did I’d be an asshole but#she’d be right and idk it’s just like how do I stay mad at my mother while doing the same things she did to me then#but how do I stop doing them if I can’t address why I’m doing it and how do I address it if I feel like I need to tell her#but I’ve told her and it doesn’t help it only makes her feel bad#how do I let myself feel my emotions. how has everyone else been doing it this whole time and it’s fucking impossible for me#ugh.#fuck.#I’m gonna take one of my crying edibles and see if I can get listening to some sad music and let some tears out of my face#and then I’m gonna play Minecraft tonight with 🧍🏻 and he doesn’t know I have a pet bird yet or about my trip so that’ll be fun
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hmmmmmm
#[redacted]#i will never have a normal and open relationship ever in my life#because everytime i try to be vulnerable with my mother and tell what is upsetting me#she turns it around and says i deserve to feel that way and maybe if i respected her more she’d actually stick up for me#and literally told me she has absolutely no respect for me and to get out of her face cause me being upset put HER in a bad mood#and it’s like i don’t know what to do i can’t have this crazy flip flop and it’s not even like she wants to hear the good things either#she shows visible annoyance when i try to tell her about my day#or brushes off my accomplishments as if it was pure luck and nothing else#or states how everything lines up with not doing enough somewhere else but won’t tell me how to fix it i’m just#i’m so lonely when i’m at home and there’s nothing i can do to fix it#i have nightmares of her leaving me to burn in a fire#her crashing the car on purpose with me in it of my future spouse meeting her#and her spending the whole time criticizing me to the point this person leaves me#i feel so utterly and completely alone and unlovable which is crazy! because i know my friends love me#i know i’m capable of love but i am so deathly afraid she’s right#and i’m too hard to love#and i hate it i just want a normal relationship with my mother and i would take all the standard#‘complicated mother daughter relationship’ if my mother even tried to act like she loved me#but she doesn’t and i know that and it’s pathetic that i want her to#anyway having a great night as you can tell 😵💫#eris: text
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.
#I haven’t seen my friend for months and so recently I’ve been like hey let’s get together! but it hasn’t happened#last month she was like Saturday!! any Saturday!! but I was so busy every Saturday#then when December started I was like hey since you’re on vacation maybe we can get together and she would just straight up ignore that#so I texted her a picture of what my calendar looks like next week (mind you my last week here) and she goes oh but I told you saturdays#and you say no everytime I say Saturday#okay…. just as you never give me any answer… but that already happened…. so I’m asking for this incoming week….#and idk it just pissed me off like why am I putting up all this effort and energy into this if she doesn’t care#like hell the only reason I want to see her is cause I’m literally not sure if I’ll ever see her again#and this feeling I have right now is just 10 year old me crying to my mom asking her why I have no friends why no one want hang with me#i just don’t understand why this keeps happening you know#I’m not even mad it’s just sad#like hey sorry I’ve been busy it’s just that I’m leaving the country so I’m quite busy with that and I was trying to make some plans with yo#you but fuck me I guess#i don’t know…. this year I stopped talking to my best friend since I was 12 because of this exact thing and now this too it’s just laughable#anyways#x
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~ ~ ~
#maybe I should just fulfill the prophecy and kill myself so I won’t end up making it to 30#cause sometimes I really don’t think it matters at all if I’m here or not#I’ve go so few friends or people in my life that I doubt I’d be noticed or missed anyway#my dad would care in the sense that I pay for everything and take care of him and without me he’s got nothing#Brie would care because we’ve been together a while but she can move on and do better than me#Don might care but he’d also miss my funeral so I’m sure he could move on pretty easily#coworkers would notice/care in the sense that they’d have to then cover my shifts too#I guess nurse Timmy would care because he’s genuinely good and we get along well but even that wouldn’t be very serious#so idk why not? it can be my present to myself you know? a little treat for having stuck it out this long in the first place#I’m just one more person who doesn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things#and yeah we all know I won’t actually do it but I still really want to and I’m having a hell of a time trying to get the feeling to go away#this too shall pass but can it hurry the fuck up?#I’m tired of crying and being depressed and lonely and having no one I can turn to or rely on#I’m tired of having to go through this alone just like always#I’m tired in general and I just want this all to be over with for a while#personal
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The Ghost of Christmas Past shows up and you’re like, “Ohhhhh for fuck’s sake,” but you’re in your childhood bedroom so it’s kind of on you. The ghost seems offended. She crosses her arms. She looks like you used to, with the pigtails.
“No way,” you say. “Don’t start.”
“I am the—”
“The Ghost of Christmas Past, I know, I know.” Because she looks like you, and it’s Christmas Eve, so what else. Your parents used to read you the story every year. Even when you were old enough to read on your own, it was better in your dad’s voice.
“You came home for your parents,” the ghost says, solemn. “It’s time to tell them.”
“No, like, ‘when you’re ready’?”
“You are ready,” she says, “or you wouldn’t have come back.”
Which is so stupid, because you weren’t on the moon, you were at college, and it’s only been two months of shots, you don’t even have a mustache. “Fucking leave me alone,” you say, so she does the ghost thing and takes you to a ten-years-ago Christmas. The living room. Your parents. Your fledgling self on the carpet with your stocking, the one you can’t look at anymore because when you were a baby your parents patiently hand-stitched the fucking name.
“Maybe they’ll make you a new one,” says the ghost.
“You don’t know that.” Bullshit ghost powers.
“You were happier back then. When they knew you.”
“Everyone was happier back then. It was, like, 2008.”
“There was a recession,” says the ghost.
“Shut up! Shut up!” You turn over in bed. For a second you expect to roll onto child-self-you curled up next to you. Probably crush the life out of her. You got good at that. It’s her bed, her room, pink covers, cat posters.
“This is so stupid, this Dickens thing,” you say. “I’m not even Christian anymore.”
“Tell your parents that second,” the ghost suggests.
“Oh my fucking God I’m not telling them anything can’t you go bother Jeff Bezos.”
“I’m just doing my job,” says the ghost, and vanishes.
#
The Ghost of Christmas Present has an acne problem. As soon as you open your eyes you say, “Oh my God,” and they say, “Hi,” and you say, “You better not be the fucking Ghost of Christmas Present,” and the Ghost of Christmas Present says, “I am.”
Which you knew.
“Why me?” you say, pink comforter bunched around your waist. “I didn’t do anything. Scrooge was mean to orphans.”
The Ghost of Christmas Present shrugs. “It’s the job.”
“Are you gonna show me my parents now?”
That makes them look kind of embarrassed.
“Well, don’t,” you say. If your parents are talking in the other room, huddled up conferencing with the lights off, you can’t hear it over the heater buzz. But you can guess what they’re saying: you went to school with a shitty pixie cut and worse eyeliner, and you came back with a real haircut and a permanent frown and a bunch of new friends you play sentence Twister to avoid pronouning. “I know they’re nice people, I got it. I’m just not ready.”
“It’s just—you’re kind of waiting for them to ask?” says the Ghost of Christmas Present. They scratch their face, where they have spectral sideburns coming in. “Your dad thinks you have a head cold. ‘Cause of your voice. But your mom’s starting to get it.”
You pull the covers over your head. “Cool, awesome, didn’t ask.”
“She isn’t going to ask,” the ghost says. “She wants you to tell her.”
You stick your middle finger out from underneath the covers. When you check, the room is empty again.
#
The Ghost of Christmas Future doesn’t say anything. Just looks at you. You look back. You probably have bedhead. You fixed your daytime wardrobe but your pajamas are still lacy and purple.
“How come you’re a man?” you say.
He says, “I think you know.”
“Fucking—go away.”
“I have something to show you first.”
“Are we going to the goddamn graveyard?”
He doesn’t say anything but then you’re in the goddamn graveyard. Together. Looking at your headstone. The dates are close enough together to make you kind of sick.
“They went with the full name,” you say.
The ghost nods.
“Not even the nickname. My nice gender neutral nickname.”
The ghost shrugs. You kind of want to throw something at him but you’re just looking at it now. Chiseled in marble. Immovable. What’s that thing bigots on the internet say, about someone digging up your jawbone two hundred years from now? You always wanted to think you wouldn’t care.
The Ghost of Christmas Future’s pretty quiet. This is the part where Scrooge goes full breakdown. Tears, begging, promises.
“I’m not gonna cry on you,” you say.
“Okay.”
So neutral. “Man, what do you want me to say?”
“Nothing,” says the ghost. “I think you’re there.”
You can’t stop looking at the headstone. “God fucking damnit shit. You promise they’ll be cool?”
“Nothing’s promised,” the ghost says. He gestures at the graveyard. “Except for this.”
“Awesome.” Cryptic cliche philosophical ghost bullshit. Yada yada. Death and taxes. Not with that name on your headstone, though. Not with that name on your tax forms, either.
You turn to tell him that and then you’re blinking in bed. There’s still one glow-in-the-dark star stuck to your ceiling where the glue never wore out. You put those up like ten years ago. Maybe longer. The light in the room says it’s morning. You swing your lacy-pajama legs over the side of the bed and go to ruin Christmas.
#max.txt#max actually writes#flash fiction#hello. merry christmas transgender people#i actually wrote this last january. go figure
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be my angel
in which BAU fem!reader was injured on the job, but is refusing painkillers at the hospital. spencer thinks he knows why.
fluff (+a little angst) warnings/tags: established relationship, hospital stuff, reader got beat up by an unsub, discussions of spencer's past addiction, mentions of period cramps, reader ends up being administered some sort of painkiller a/n: another draft i found in my literal hundreds of pages of abandoned wips and fixed up cause it's cute, I hope you like!!!
Spencer is tearing through the hospital. They all keep saying you’re going to be okay, but what does that even mean? Why is nobody telling him anything? He’s not even sure he heard what the orderly at the front desk said, but his feet are carrying him with a strident purpose through the winding white halls, so he has to assume he at least subconsciously knows where he’s going.
Finally he spots Penelope, a beacon in her candy-colored clothing, speaking to a doctor in hushed tones. Penelope sees him approaching and turns away from the doctor, looking harried and exhausted.
“Is she okay? What happened?” Spencer demands, before either of the others can say a word.
“She’s okay,” the doctor assures. “She was beat up pretty bad—concussion, broken ribs, some bruising that looks worse than it is. There was a clean shot through her arm, but—”
His blood runs cold. Nobody told him you were shot. Why had nobody told him you were shot?
“I need to see her.”
The doctor frowns, glancing between the two agents.
“I’m sorry, are you her spouse?”
“Yes. No, not yet, I just—I need to see her, please. Now.”
“Sir, unless she—”
“Just let him see her!” Penelope practically yells. “She wants him here, believe me.”
The doctor clenches her jaw and scribbles something on her clipboard.
“Okay. Maybe you can try to convince her to accept some painkillers.”
Spencer’s frown deepens.
“She’s refusing pain management?”
“We gave her as much ibuprofen as we could, but she refused anything stronger than that. She has to be in a lot of pain right now, and there’s no background of addiction.”
“I’ll talk to her,” Spencer says, already twisting the silver door handle. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why you denied pain treatment, and it makes him feel incredibly guilty. More than he already did, after this entire debacle.
The sight of you, bloodied and bruised and obviously suffering has his heart splintering right down the middle. Whatever meager semblance of a smile he can scrounge up and offer is reflected back to him on you—which only makes him feel worse. As always, you’re putting on a brave face.
“Hey,” Spencer says quietly as he closes the door behind him.
“Hi,” you croak. “How do I look?”
He approaches, sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.
“How do you feel? The doctor told me you wouldn’t accept pain medication,” he murmurs.
You sniff.
“I feel okay. Did she tell you it’s not as bad as it looks?”
But your voice is so small, so wavery and weak, that he knows you’re lying.
“Sweetheart...”
You’ve been holding it together since the unsub beat you nearly unconscious. You held it together as he ran away, even got a couple shots in before he turned around and returned fire. You held it together while you sat against the dirty truck, bleeding out, not sure if your team was coming, and you held it together in the ambulance, and for the past thirty minutes in this hospital bed. But all it takes is one gentle word from Spencer, with that concerned, solicitous look in his eye, and the floodgates are opening. Tears spring up in your eyes and begin silently falling down your dirtied cheeks.
“It’s okay!” you attempt to reassure him, affecting cheeriness even through the tears. “It doesn’t hurt. I’m fine!”
He says your name soft and low and he tries his best to keep his tone even though he is liable to burst into tears or start yelling at someone (not you) at any minute.
“I know that’s not true. You have broken ribs and a gunshot wound. I know how badly it hurts to breathe and how it feels every time you move your arm. That is too much damage for over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. You need real analgesics.”
“I don’t,” you whisper. Your teary eyes make his whole body ache. He squeezes your hand—the one that’s not connected to the wounded arm.
“Because of me?” You stare at him blankly, as if you’re shocked he was able to put two and two together. “I promise you don’t need to worry about that.”
You sniffle.
“But what if—what if they give me the drugs and I get all weird and it’s, it’s like... triggering for you, or something?”
“It’s been a really long time since I’ve worried about that. I’d rather see you a little tired and out of it than in extreme pain and trying to pretend you’re not. You getting the pain relief you need in a medical emergency is not going to make me relapse.”
“But I really think I could go without,” you begin, voice already tightening around a cry. “I’ve—I’ve had period cramps that were worse than this.”
Despite himself, he chuckles. Goes back to stroking your hair.
The laughter fades quickly. All the pain you’re in is so evident in your eyes. The dissociative glassiness, the tension around them, the bloodshot quality—he's seen it many times before, and he hates it on you.
“Will you please tell them you’re ready to take something? They won’t give you Dilaudid. It’s too strong. They’ll give you something that I’d have no interest in anyway.”
“Not funny,” you whisper.
He ignores this.
“Will you let me call the doctor back in?”
You take a deep, shuddering breath—or at least, you try to, before you’re loosing a sharp squeak that deteriorates into a little sob. The ribs.
Spencer doesn’t bother asking again, just gets up and begins to walk away as efficiently as his legs will carry him. You need painkillers and he thinks it might be fastest to just fetch the doctor or a nurse from the hallway.
“Wait,” you plead.
He stops. Reminds himself that you need him right now—not his medical opinions. Spencer turns back around and approaches again, crouching by your bedside this time.
“What, honey?”
“I don’t...”
You trail off, overcome by something like fear in the width and shine and nervous dart of your eyes. Spencer knows, everybody at the BAU knows, that showing fear to a serial killer will get you killed that much quicker. During your time alone with the unsub, which is a can of worms Spencer literally cannot psychologically open right now, you had to put on your bravest face. Even while you were being beaten within an inch of your life. Even when you thought you were going to die, alone, and that your team—that Spencer—wasn't coming back for you. Because that’s the kind of thing you have to do to cope when you’re at rock bottom. But you were terrified. Petrified. That doesn’t just go away—and Spencer knows it’ll be bumping against the surface until it finds a way out.
He has to remember that just because you look unafraid and you act unafraid doesn’t mean you aren’t.
“You were so brave,” he manages after he’s sure he can say it without incident, swiping moisture from your cheek. “You did everything exactly right.”
“I know,” you whisper, chin trembling. Spencer knows you, and he knows this kind of trauma well enough to know that you’re thinking, I did everything exactly right, and it wasn’t enough. I did everything exactly right and this is what I have to show for it.
“But nobody needs you to act like it wasn’t hard, okay? You don’t need to pretend like it doesn’t hurt. You were so, so brave, angel. You don’t have to be brave anymore.”
Your eyes squeeze shut, sending a new wash of tears over your tacky cheeks. A few moments pass. You say nothing. He hopes you’re not going to hide away inside yourself like he did.
“Will you please, please, let me get the doctor?”
At least this time you don’t immediately say no.
“Will you come right back?”
“Of course.”
Finally, you nod your hesitant assent, and Spencer presses a careful kiss to your forehead.
A few minutes later, the doctor—who was shocked that Spencer was able to so quickly change your very made-up mind—is back, and so is Spencer. It only takes a moment for them to determine the best course of action for you and soon the fist around his heart is loosening its grip as he watches some of the agony melting from your eyes.
“Better?” he murmurs as the nurse who’d administered the drugs leaves, fanning his thumb over the underside of your wrist. You nod, already appearing sleepy.
“Can you lie down with me?”
He smiles at the way your words slip against each other, simply relieved that you’re able to relax and no longer in extreme pain.
“Hospital beds aren’t rated for two people.”
“Spencer.”
It’s enough for him to climb onto the bed—not that he was ever going to deny you what you wanted to begin with. The fit isn’t exactly perfect—he's a bit too long and combined the two of you are just slightly too wide—but with some finagling it’s comfortable enough. Spencer has slipped his arm underneath you and your head is on his shoulder and he’s so glad to have you in his arms and so grateful that you’re okay he does something almost like praying in his head as he kisses your hair.
“Hey. Ask me about my bruises.”
“Why? Do they still hurt?”
“You should see the other guy.”
It’s dumb and it doesn’t make sense because you didn’t bother waiting for him to actually set the joke up—but he smiles dryly nonetheless.
“Can you please give me... I don’t know, 36 hours before you start making jokes about almost dying?”
“Clock starts now.”
“Thank you.” He feels your lips curve into a half-conscious smile against his neck. It’s a wonderful feeling. “How are your ribs? Breathing feels okay?”
“Mhm. Love breathing.”
“Mhm. And your arm?”
“Like I got shot.”
“Well, that’s pretty much unavoidable. But not as bad as before, right?”
“Right. Spencer?”
“What, my love?”
A little pleased puff of air warms his shoulder. He carefully rubs your hip.
“Will you tell me how brave I was again?”
He takes a silent, very deep breath.
“You were incredibly brave. And smart, too. I’m really proud of you for how you handled that situation. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I don’t think anyone could have handled it better. Especially when you chose to stay put by the truck, instead of chase him. I know that wasn’t what you wanted to do, but it was the right choice.”
“I thought you guys maybe weren’t coming,” you murmur, no hint of sadness in your smushed, flat voice—like you’re barely awake. “I waited half an hour and I thought you weren’t gonna find me.”
“Angel, I will always find you. We didn’t stop looking even once, as soon as we noticed you were gone. I’m just sorry I wasn’t with Emily and Rossi when they got to you.”
“’Nelope told me... she told me you got really angry and scary.”
He stares at the ceiling and considers this.
“I could see... how what I was feeling would be interpreted that way. I was pretty angry. But not at Penelope or any of them. I was mostly just scared.”
“I’m sorry I scared you,” you whisper. “And I’m sorry if I made you mad.”
“You did not. I wasn’t mad at you. And it’s not your fault that I got scared. You were just trying to do your job. None of this is your fault.”
“She also said that you said fuck like... three times.”
“Mm... doesn’t sound like me,” he evades. You giggle, and the sound is more a relief than any drug he could take.
“No, seriously, I’m so mad I missed it. I love hearing you swear. Tell me what you said—and you have to cause I’m all messed up so I get whatever I want.”
He sighs in mock annoyance.
“Well, she’s wrong. I only said fuck once. I used fucking as an intensifier twice.”
You hum.
“Sexy.”
“Alright,” Spencer laughs, flushing as he moves his hand to your shoulder. “Go to sleep before I tell them to up your dosage, weirdo.”
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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Good Luck Babe
poly!marauders x nerd!female!reader
summary: after being a wallflower throughout your first five years at hogwarts, you always thought that you could be invisible. but when you hear the marauders talking cruelly about you and proceeding to ask for your forgiveness after, well good luck babe.
warnings: eventual smut! 18+ heavy angst, cursing, reader wants to kill the marauders , swearing, unprotected sex, praise, oral (male receiving), jealousy
a/n: oh hey... this is kinda based on those cliche 2000's movies where the girl is ugly but not really and she has that glow up or whatever. this was written so quick and not proofread, don't kill me. i hope you enjoy and as always, i apologize if you hate this!
STARTING off your sixth year at Hogwarts being an entirely new person wasn't something that you had planned or expected.
On the inside, you felt exactly the same, the same girl who was bold and could ferociously win a fight when it came to her character.
The same girl who was witty and sarcastic, surprising half of the people around you when you made a joke once in a lifetime.
But on the outside, you didn't have an awkward mis-shaped bob and you no longer wore baggy jackets that didn't do a thing for your figure.
And you didn't hide your face anymore, trying your best to be invisible.
It wasn't that you were shy or that you felt like a loser but you thought social hierarchy was bullshit and the only thing you wanted to focus on was your studies.
You may have been a brave Gryffindor on the inside but on the outside, you had to play the part of a shy mouse as corny as that sounds.
Unfortunately for you, invisibility only tends to last for so long until one moment, you are a nobody and then all eyes are upon you.
And maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't heard the Marauders discussing you the previous year, you would have stayed the same.
You had passed by the boys dormitory to give Remus his textbooks back as you always did when you let you borrow when you heard them speaking of the very person behind the door,
"I still have yet to understand why Lily and the rest of them act like she's some charity case," James huffed, "I mean, she's not some sick patient, they only feel the need to pity her because of how she looks."
You always knew that James had a foul mouth but to be speaking about someone like this, it was cruel.
Remus hissed, "That's not nice Prongs,"
"I'm not even saying it to be a dick!" James groaned, "I just mean, I pity her more for the fact that they don't even invite her to anything outside of breakfast and dinner," He explained, causing Remus to go silent.
Sirius chuckled, shaking his head. "That's absolutely horrid."
James reclined on his bed, a smirk playing on his lips. "I’m just saying, if I were Y/N, I’d be mortified."
Your eyes widened as they began to water, they were speaking about you.
Remus leaned against the wall, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "Maybe she just doesn’t want to hang out with Lily and the others."
"Moony, seriously," James shot back, sitting up. "Where is Y/N right now, and where are the other girls?" His eyebrow cocked, trying to make his point as Remus silenced.
Sirius raised an eyebrow, a glint of mischief in his eyes. "Why don’t we investigate for ourselves?" He unfolded the Marauder's Map with a flourish. "Alright, we’ve got Lily, Dorcas, Mary, and Marlene all at Hogsmeade, but Y/N is..." His voice trailed off, eyes narrowing.
James leaned closer, annoyance creeping into his tone as he grabbed the map, "She's-" He stopped, the color fading from his face.
"Fucking spit it out!" Remus said next as he snatched the map finally and saw that the map had shown that you were right outside their door.
"Shit!" You heard Remus say as he started making his way to the door.
Hearing his footsteps approaching, you quickly moved away from the door, bolting for your room.
Once you made it back to your dorm, you had sinked the floor. You put your hand on your mouth, muffling yourself as you cried silently.
You honestly hated to even say it but you did consider Lily and the rest of them your friends. You had never really thought about how they didn't invite you to places.
And if you were being truthful, they had never asked you to have breakfast or dinner with them.
You had always just assumed that you could join but they never told you to leave or swooshed you off. Another part of you hated how stupid you were, trying to intrude on their private time.
You didn't want to let it get to you what a bunch of seventeen year old boys were saying but it did sting horribly.
But in a way, it also motivated you to be who you were on the inside. You already had the top marks in your entire year and your plan to work in the Ministry after Hogwarts had already been set.
And now your chance to be something at Hogwarts was right in front of you, an opportunity that you couldn't miss.
You had to do it for yourself.
The Marauders had no idea who you truly were or even cared to know. And although Remus was kind to you, you could always see that he never made any effort to be your friend.
Not that you expected him to but it only taught you that they truly thought you were some hopeless case.
And an assignment to make the Marauders bite their tongues was one that you couldn't bare to fail.
After hearing that, you decided to avoid the Marauders for the next month, especially with summer break approaching. To your surprise, you barely saw them outside of classes, never giving them a chance to reach out—even Remus.
And then that summer, everything changed. You let your hair grow past your shoulders, embracing your natural curls instead of straightening them. You started wearing clothes that were trendy and form-fitting, a huge contrast to your old style.
You discovered a newfound love for self-care, enjoying the process far more than you expected. Each day felt like a transformation, and by the end of summer, your mother couldn’t help but notice. “Finally listening to me about your style, huh?” she teased.
You only laughed as you embraced her,
If only she knew what had caused it in the first place.
As you said goodbye to your family, anticipation mingled with dread. You knew the train ride would be the least of your worries, but the welcome dinner and the ceremony ahead felt like they might just be hell reincarnate.
As you entered Hogwarts, you admired it as much as you did when you were a first year. The castle was something you considered a second home and everything about it was magical, there was no doubting that.
A crowd of students, including yourself, moved toward the Great Hall, and you settled into your usual seat at the Gryffindor table.
You spotted the Marauders and the usual group of girls approaching, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They took their usual spots in front of you, with the girls on one side and the boys on the other. James sat beside you, and Lily was directly in front of him.
You never quite understood why they arranged themselves like that, but it hardly mattered in the moment.
They were busy in conversation before James had noticed someone next to him, his eyes widening. You couldn't quite read his face but it seemed like a mix of confusion and flustered.
You stared at him back but he still had yet to mutter a word. You cleared your throat, "Uh hello," You practically whispered.
He snapped back into reality, "Oh sorry, hi," He muttered back.
Silence took over you both as James couldn't find the words of what to say to you.
On one hand, he wanted to call you beautiful, to tell you that you were one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen. On the other, he just wanted to stare at you for a few more minutes like a creep.
Lily noticed his gaze and leaned in, smirking. "Excuse my friend; we’re still trying to figure out if he has a brain."
"I thought we solved that decades ago," Marlene chimed in, stifling a laugh.
Lily turned to you with a curious smile. "I don’t believe I’ve seen you before. What’s your name?"
Are you actually fucking kidding me?
You scoffed, "I'm Y/N,"
The entire group looked at you in awe, even the ones who weren't chimed in on the conversation.
"Y/N L/N?" Sirius asked, mouth gaping.
"Yep, that one," You snorted.
They all looked like they had seen a ghost, "You look different," Marlene said as Mary shoved her.
"She means in a good way!" Mary added.
"Uh thanks," You said, awkwardly.
They all continued to stare at you like you were an exhibit in a museum, their eyes scanning you up and down.
"Do you all mind not staring at me?" you asked, trying to break the tension. They all looked away, feigning innocence as they muttered apologies.
"How have you been?" Lily asked, clearly trying to ease the awkwardness.
"Fine," you replied, your tone clipped.
You caught the pained expressions on the Marauders' faces, realizing they were the reason for your dismissive attitude.
"That's great," Lily said, forcing a smile.
You felt a wave of frustration at the awkwardness surrouding you and decided it was time to escape. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you announced, heading toward the exit before they could respond.
As you walked away, you could already here the mutters and whispers emerging from the table, the fascinating topic being you.
You paced as you heard footsteps trailing behind you, but you ignored them, letting your gaze wander around the castle.
"Y/N!" someone called out, startling you.
You turned to see Sirius, James, and Remus hurrying after you. You only let out a snort before continuing your same way.
A hand suddenly reached around your forearm as you turned to see Remus. You quickly snatched your hand away, finally stopping to look at the group of boys who you despised.
Crossing your arms, you shot them a hostile look. "What?"
"We just wanna—"
"We're so—"
"Listen, we just—"
They all spoke at once, but you scoffed and turned back toward the bathroom, starting to walk away.
You were hoping that they would realize you wanted nothing to do with them but instead, it only made them want to chase you more.
They quickened their pace, and you spun around sharply. "For fuck's sake, what do you want?" you snapped.
James took a breath, his expression earnest. "I'm sorry for what I said. I've been thinking about it since you left. I was an awful twat, and you didn't deserve a thing of what I said."
You let out a sarcastic laugh, "Are you serious?" You asked as your expression changed to furious, "You basically called me a loser and said that Lily and the rest of them were only hanging out with me out of pity,"
James hissed as your statement, feeling the razor in your voice.
"-And now you all want to act as if I should just forgive you since I don't look the same anymore," You got closer to James's face, "Fuck off."
You turned your heel again and this time, the boys didn't follow you.
You finally entered the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you struggled to read the expression on your face. You were furious at the Marauders, and the idea of forgiving them felt impossible.
Yet, there was a flicker of gratitude that you felt for the change you’d undergone. You’d gained a new confidence that felt good, but the sting of their cruel words still lingered in your mind.
And you knew that you couldn't let it get to you but knowing they thought that of you, even Remus. It still did things to you that you would never admit out loud.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you realized it was almost time to head to the dormitory.
The rest of the night had flown by, with first years being introduced to their new home for the next six years while everyone else relaxed in the common room. Despite curfews, fifth years and above knew they could hang out longer—the curfew was mostly for the first years anyway.
"Caput Draconis," you muttered, and the Fat Lady nodded, granting you entrance.
Stepping into the common room, your heart sank as you spotted the last group you wanted to see. They noticed you just as quickly, encouraging you to pick up your pace toward the dorm.
"Hey, Y/N!" Dorcas called out, making you wince as you turned to see her waving.
The Marauders looked down, shame etched on their faces, avoiding your gaze as if you were Medusa.
You approached them slowly, dread settling in your stomach as they eyed you like a science project.
"We were just about to play a fun little game," Dorcas said enticingly, while Marlene snorted beside her.
"I don’t know if Spin the Bottle is a great idea for the first night back," Marlene added, taking a sip of her beer.
"A little peck never hurt anyone," Lily chimed in, clapping her hands together.
Of all people, you’d never expect Lily Evans to approve such a thing. This was the same girl who nearly fainted when she heard about Marlene and Dorcas kissing the previous year.
"I don’t know if this is the game for me," you replied, eyeing the group warily.
"Of course it is!" Lily insisted, but you raised an eyebrow. "Oh my gosh! Not like that, I just mean it's a fun game for us all to play," she quickly added, looking flustered.
Part of you wanted to say no and retreat to your bed, but that was the old you, and you knew it wouldn’t help. This was a new year, and you were determined to embrace new experiences.
Besides, you’d never participated in any scandalous games for all of the years you've been at Hogwarts—it felt like a crime in itself.
So, after a moment’s hesitation, you said, "Okay, sure." The girls erupted in cheers, while the Marauders exchanged worried glances.
What if you had to kiss one of them? Would you refuse and create a scene? Would you want to strangle them for even suggesting it?
The possibilities raced through their mind, but there was no turning back as everyone began to form a circle.
As you sat in the circle, a shiver of nervousness enveloped you. You had never kissed anyone before and the whole thought made you nervous within itself.
Don't get it wrong, you've had chances but they never seemed right and you certainly weren't kissing Matthew Trunchbull underneath the bleachers of the Quidditch field.
So when you got offered a shot of firewhiskey to cool your nerves by Marlene, you took it happily as it burned down your throat.
You brushed off all the negative thoughts entering your mind,
What really is the worst thing that could happen?
#marauders era#james potter#hp#hogwarts#harry potter#singmyaubade#remus lupin#sirius black#tw mature#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders x fem!reader#james potter x reader#remus lupin x reader#sirius black x reader#marauders x reader#poly!marauders x sub!reader#poly!marauders x girlfriend!reader#poly!marauders smut#smut#harry potter imagines#remus lupin fluff#james potter smut#sirius black x james potter#remus lupin x james potter#daddy!remus#daddy!sirius#sub!reader#marauders#james potter x y/n
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𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍!!
➤ including: satoru gojo, suguru geto, kento nanami, toji fushiguro, choso kamo, ryomen sukuna.
➤ summary: when they found your naughty books and want to reproduce the scenes with you…
➤ warnings: +18 MDNI, smut, nsfw, sex (p in v), thighs riding, cowgirl, oral (f + m), fingering (f!receiving), semi-public sex, edging, office sex, childhood bedroom sex, reverse cowgirl, backshot, creampie, missionary, degradation (whore), marking (m!), overstimulation, dick drunk, riding, teasing, anal (f! receiving), true form! sukuna, hair pulling, fanart by the queen @/yunonoai.
𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
Satoru furrows his brows and purses his pretty pink lips, deeply focused. “Hmm… Are you sure it’s like this? I think she was in reverse rather than—”
“Toru!”
“What?” He shifts the book that’s hiding his handsome face from your view. Your cheeks are flushed with a warm, yearning desire, your lips swollen from hungry kisses, and your eyes have been tearing up for several minutes because your boyfriend has stopped stimulating you, leaving you craving his touch. He gives you a playful smirk and chuckles. “If you want me, sweetheart, you just have to come and get me.”
“You activated your Infinity!” you whine, trying for the tenth time to reach his pale, soft, bare chest. A barrier that gives you the feeling you’re about to touch him but keeps your fingers from making contact, trapping you in an endless loop where you’ll never touch him.
“That’s your punishment for scolding me for being horny all the time while you’re reading this!” Satoru delights in the desperate look you give him. “And you still dare call me shameless!” He waves the book in front of your nose as you whimper, weakly trying to snatch the book from his hands, but in a feeble, pathetic attempt. But finding that the punishment has lasted long enough, he deactivates his Infinity, and you end up collapsing onto his legs, your breathing ragged, but dying to have him inside you. He bursts out laughing as you climb onto him, though he doesn’t place his hands on your hips like he usually does.
“Toru… Please…” you whisper, moaning softly as you slide his hard, thick cock inside you, your drenched walls greedily swallowing him up.
“Tut-tut.” He shakes his head and lets you adjust to him, leaving you with only the sensation of your pulse throbbing against his delicious length. “You’re gonna fuck yourself stupid on this fat cock of mine, ’kay? Like the good girl that you are.”
A sob escapes your lips as you start to fuck yourself on him, your breasts bouncing slowly and gently under Satoru’s amused, mocking gaze. It’s much more effort than usual, and he doesn’t miss a chance to notice it.
Satoru crosses his arms behind his head on the pillow and laughs heartily. “C’mon baby, ride me like you mean it,” he purrs, your inexperienced thighs gripping the muscles of his hips. “A lot harder when I’m not helping you out, huh?”
Frustrated tears roll down your cheeks, and a pout forms on your lips. You sniffle as you try to bounce on his cock buried far too deep in your tight little cunt — preventing you from going faster.
But maybe he’s had enough too, because his hands grip the flesh of your hips, digging his nails in hard enough to leave definite bruises before bucking his hips into you — causing you to let out a yelp of pleasure as he hits your sweet spot deep inside. “So deep…”
“Deep, huh?” Satoru pulls you into a fast, rough rhythm, his hips slamming into you as you cry out his name, echoing through the room, fucking you in cowgirl just like in your book. “It’ll be like this all night, sweetheart.”
𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎
“S-Sugu… Please…”
“Please what, princess?” Suguru murmurs, his nose rubbing against your soaked panties, his tongue licking your swollen folds through the fabric, savoring your intoxicating scent. The tip of his nose gently presses on your swollen clit, causing your hips to buck against his face.
“I can’t take it anymore, please, I need you…” you moan, your trembling arms hugging a pillow tightly to keep yourself from going crazy.
But Suguru’s hands pin your plush thighs against the mattress, obstructing any attempt you make to struggle. “But the scene was just as slow as I’m doing it, darling,” Suguru whispers, his lips pressed against your wet, clothed slit. “I can feel how close you are if I really eat you out.” A chuckle rumbles through his chest before he slowly slides your underwear down your thighs, finally gaining access to your pussy, now openly exposed to him. He whistles at the sight of your fluids, almost like transparent glue forming a delicate web between your already parted lips and your entrance, which opens and closes around nothing.
“I know, Suguru, but please, I need you to do something or— Ah!” you’re cut off as he captures your bundle of nerves between his lips, sucking shamelessly — the wet, slurping sound vibrating against your sensitive flesh. A shiver runs through your body, and you moan uncontrollably as he devours you eagerly — his tongue alternating between licking and sucking your clit, and the tip of his agile, teasing tongue tracing quick circles around your dripping hole.
“Sugu! I’m close… s’close,” you cry out, squirming as gasps leave your lips in sweet sounds that make his dick twitch in his pants.
“Mind if I add a finger?” He glances at your pussy, on the brink of release, lifting his head from between your thighs for just a few seconds. “Or two.”
“No, Sugu— cumming!” you mewl as you immediately cum on his thick fingers, your tight cunt clenching around his gummy walls.
He gasps at the sensation of your tightness and the flow of your fluids trickling down his hand and wrist.
“And what about my cock?”
𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈
“Please, darling, anyone could—”
“I know, I know, Ken, just cum for me, will you?” you purr, your tongue swirling around the angry red tip of Kento’s dick, so thick and swollen, threatening to burst and release his seed with every stroke of your fingers or suck from your soft mouth.
Nanami tries to control his breathing, his hands usually occupied by a pen at his desk in his workplace, his perfectly straight nose bent over documents to fill out or sign — but today, he’s a grotesque image of what his employees are used to seeing: cheeks flushed, one hand under his desk, fingers tangled in your hair, and his tie lazily loosened to allow him to breathe.
“Darling, I’m close I can’t—”
“C’mon, baby,” you coo, one of your hands stroking his base while your mouth takes in more of his cock, sucking him properly to make him cum as quickly as possible.
“D-Darling— I—”
You pull his length out of your mouth with a pop, a string of saliva mixed with his precum connecting the tip of his dick to your lips. “You promised to redo the scene, didn’t you? So cum for me, ’kay? It’s perfect if someone catches us because—” But the growl Nanami emits, along with the pulsing of his dick in your fingers wrapped around him, tells you he’s far too close.
You take him back into your mouth, using as much space as he allows, bobbing your head up and down until he sighs your name and spills out in unintelligible words, his balls tightening as he cums in your mouth, painting the inside of your cheeks white — the thick, sticky, warm strands filling you up until your throat has no choice but to swallow everything.
Nanami’s Adam’s apple nervously bobs as he swallows, his eyes lowering to see your disheveled head under his hand, tangled in your hair, and your satisfied expression under his desk.
You gently remove his softened cock from your mouth and kiss the tip. “Thank you, Ken. Another round before your secretary arrives?”
His dick immediately hardens again at your words.
𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎
“Nuh-uh, doll, don’t make a sound, this is an important call,” Toji whispers, a finger pressed against your trembling lips that threaten to give in at any moment. “That’s what you said you wanted, right?” he chuckles, his lips curling into a smirk as he keeps his dick buried deep inside you, while his other hand holds his phone to his ear.
A few rings later, Toji’s boss picks up, and he continues the call while fucking you at a steady, deep, and unapologetic rhythm. His hips slap against yours, pushing your patience to its limits.
After all, you’re the one who started this, right?
“I want to redo that scene,” you had whined.
And now you have it — Toji taking you in missionary, your legs desperately wrapped around his firm hips, his hand sliding from your lips to your throat, gently squeezing around your neck. He slowly reaches that sweet spot inside you, making your back arch, an involuntary whimper escaping your swollen lips.
He gives you a warning look before fucking you dumb without mercy, continuing his conversation with his boss as if he were at a café, his hips pounding into you relentlessly. “Yes, of course, Shui mentioned my next mission, but I wanted more detailed information.” He licks his upper lip before smirking, his emerald eyes never leaving yours, begging for the call to end. He shakes his head and keeps applying gentle pressure to your throat, threatening to make you let out a gasp of pleasure under the delicious roll of his expert hips inside you.
A white ring forms around the base of his thick, veiny cock just before he notices how tight you’re getting, and he has to control his breathing to avoid sounding strange during the call with his superior. But your cunt, obsessed with him, swallows his shaft with ease, making it even harder to remain impassive. To the point that his boss asks if everything’s alright when Toji lets out a low grunt, his top teeth sinking into his lower lip, making the gesture even hotter thanks to the scar that crosses his mouth.
“No, no, boss, I’ll call you back later, I’ve got a little situation,” he murmurs before abruptly hanging up and tossing his phone aside, grabbing you by the hips in a grip you can’t resist. “See what you’re doing t’me? Huh? You wanted it, now take it all the way, doll.” But your cunt clenches around him, pushing him so deep that you cry out his name, writhing on the bed like a kitten — you’re sure he’s fucking your stomach now.
𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
“Baby— I— Please…” Choso babbles, his pretty blood-red eyes rolling back in their sockets from the overstimulation of his cock buried deep in your wet, tight, gummy walls.
The poor thing has no control over the fast and overwhelming pace of the pleasure you’re giving him — the sound of your skin slapping against his with every drop of your hips in your reverse cowgirl position. The idea to fuck your sensitive boyfriend in his childhood bedroom, the one he once shared with Yuji, could only have come from you.
Who would have thought you’d take advantage of a family dinner to do this? It’s a good thing Yuji is busy playing video games in the guest room with his best friend, Aoi Todo. Their laughter and complaints about losing a match carry through the walls to your room — a fear that Choso might have, the poor, adorable sweetheart who whimpers and whines like the virgin he was not too long ago.
“Babe— Ah! Please, they’re going to hear us…” Choso whines, his voice muffled against a pillow on his bed.
You chuckle, a pleasured grin on your face as you bounce on the dick that swells and throbs deep inside your pussy, hungry for him. “Poor Cho… You promised we’d redo the scene from my book, didn’t you? And it takes place in a childhood bedroom, hmm?” You speed up the pace, the tip of Choso’s cock now hitting your cervix with each slam back in. You bring a hand to your mouth to stifle your sweet sounds. “You feel s’good, baby, doing so good f’me…” you purr, glancing over your shoulder to admire the messy state of your boyfriend; his eyes filled with tears from overstimulation and his mouth open, letting out sounds that make you tighten around his cock. “G’nna give it to me? Huh, baby?”
“Gonna cum, gonna cum, gonna cum,” Choso whimpers in a small, submissive voice. “Please, please, please, make me cum, I want to cum in your pussy,” he begs before letting out a small sob.
“Fill me up, Cho, c’mon,” you encourage with a smile, bringing a hand to your sensitive clit, rubbing in firm circles, your ass pressed against his pelvis. “That’s my good boy, give me your cum.”
𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀
“Ah! Kuna, please,” you moan, a grimace of pleasure twisting your face as the King of Curses pounds roughly with his hips in your tight holes. His two cocks — one in your pussy and the other in your asshole — abuse you, thrusting as if it’s the last time he’ll ever fuck you.
“Can you obey me for a minute and shut up?” Sukuna growls, the back of his head resting against the wooden door of the pantry where the servants store food for the King of Curses.
Of course — reading one of the books from the estate’s library made you beg your husband to fuck you right in the kitchen downstairs — just like the fucking king or prince in the kitchens of their castle — and who was Sukuna to deny you that? That’s how you ended up here, your head buried between your arms as your husband stuffs you raw and rough in a pantry where apples and carrots taunt you.
The scene might seem comical, but not when you’re terrified of being caught by the servants or the staff — though Sukuna has never really give a fuck about that. The cramped space is as hot as your cunt and asshole, which still manage to take every slam Sukuna delivers inside you — his heavy balls slapping against your clit and your ass. He’s ready to fill you and make you scream if your pleas didn’t hold him back and if the pantry hadn’t turned into a sauna. Instead, he prefers to edge you, not letting you fall over the edge of orgasm.
Sweat sticks to both your bodies, where the slapping of his balls makes enough noise to attract the staff — if you ignore your muffled moans and gasps.
“Kuna! Mmph! M’close! Please, make me cum!” you whimper, clinging to one of his four arms that knead your breasts and pinch your nipples — the other two busy holding your hips already marked with red scratches and blue hickeys, and the last one making circles around your clit.
“Is this how the other princess got stuffed too? Begging like a whore to cum for her charming king?” Sukuna’s chest shakes with a rough laugh, quickening his pace until your vision blurs with dazzling stars and your cunt spasms around one of his dicks, while he follows, shooting his white seed in thick ropes deep inside you until it overflows despite still being inside you and the door moving with him — fucking you through your orgasm.
Footsteps echo in the kitchen and you freeze, along with him.
“Is someone there?” a valet’s voice asks, not far from the pantry.
And Sukuna glares at you — should he kill him or remain silent?
➤ a/n: if anyone knows the @ of the black dividers pls tell me i didn’t save it...
➤ tags: @ssetsuka @zara-zara11 @bearwithmoo @elliesndg @lymsfm @mutsu422 @whathappenedtobees @drippymcdrippison
#[azra masterlist]#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#gojo smut#satoru gojo fanfiction#suguru geto#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto x you#geto smut#suguru geto fanfiction#kento nanami#kento nanami x you#kento nanami x reader#nanami smut#choso kamo#choso kamo x you#choso kamo x reader#choso smut#choso kamo fanfiction#toji fushiguro#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji smut#toji fushiguro fanfiction#ryomen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna fanfiction
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