#I’ve go so few friends or people in my life that I doubt I’d be noticed or missed anyway

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[thewulf]

Not Just Pals || Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Request - Hello darling! I have a request for you if you don't mind... It's a hangman x fem! Reader pen pals to friends to lovers kind of thing. Like maybe when he was in the academy someone put his name in this program to write to college students but joke on them because he got paired with reader and they hit it off almost instantly... Read Rest Here

A/N: Whew! This one was for whatever reason really tough to write! I changed it up a little bit but I hope you guys still enjoy it. :)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Word Count: 3.9k +

T/W : Self-doubt

October 9th, 2014

Hi There Y/N,

I’m not sure how you’re really supposed to start one of these things? How are you supposed to go about talking to somebody you’ve literally never met before? Although the Navy/Army pen pal thing could be interesting. I’ll be honest, my buddy signed me up and I didn’t think I’d actually write anything down but then I got the email with your name on it, Cadet Y/N Y/L/N. Consider myself intrigued.

What’s it like up in New York? Is it cold? Do you get a lot of snow? It gets awfully cold down here in Maryland, so I have to imagine how cold it gets up there. I’m from Texas so I’m still adjusting to this weather… four years later. It’s not easy. I think it’s the hardest part of living in the northeast. I’d rather run a marathon with a thirty-pound pack on than sit outside in the snow for more than twenty minutes. I hope to get stationed somewhere warm when this is all set and done.

Your ‘about me’ says you’re going into the Air Defense Artillery after West Point… which is the exact opposite of what I’m doing. Consider myself doubly intrigued Cadet. What do you do? Fire missiles and rockets at jets? That can’t possibly be as much fun as firing them when you’re in the air. It’s cool just not nearly as cool as what I do, know what I mean? Maybe a close second though.

Have you even been in a jet before? I bet you’d like it. I obviously don’t know you, but I haven’t met many people who didn’t like it. There’s something so freeing about flying 1,000 miles per hour in a tiny silver tube. You should try it sometime. If this whole thing works out maybe I’ll even take you up one day, who knows?

I guess that was my attempt at 20 questions. Hopefully you didn’t find it too annoying. Hope to hear back from you soon!

Jake Seresin

November 23rd ,2014

Hello Future Lieutenant Jake Seresin,

I’m thrilled you actually decided to write. I’m glad my name was all you needed to pick up that pen. I have to admit you made me giggle a few times. You seem effortlessly funny Mr. Seresin. Even for a soon-to-be Pilot.

I find it comical you’re asking me about the weather of all things, Midshipmen. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do on an awkward first date? But to answer your question, yes it’s cold as all get out up here. But I’m from Indiana so I’m used to it. Doesn’t mean I didn’t wish West Point wasn’t in Georgia or something. Why’d they have to put all the Military schools in the north?

What was it like growing up in Texas? Did you ever see snow? One of my favorite memories from this place is watching my roommate (who’s from Florida) see and play in snow for the first time. She froze her ass off but had the day of her life. She also hates snow now. So, it looks like you warm people have that in common.

To sum it up I guess you can say we fire rockets and missiles. My professors always say, ‘If it sounds like rocket science, it is’. Basically, we need to protect the ground troops from the flying bastards aka you. Although we do love our American flying bastards. So, I guess that doesn’t knock you down too many pegs in my book. Do you think they matched us up because our jobs are the antithesis of the other? If so, somebody had a hilarious sense of humor.

I’ve never been in a jet, and I have no plans to either. I don’t think I’d enjoy it if we’re being honest. You’re talking to the girl who gets sea-sick on cruises and had to take a motion pill if we’re going to an amusement park. My lil brain can’t handle the motion. A character flaw as they say. I also have a sense that you wouldn’t go to easy on me, being Army and all. I’ll stick to my calculations and rockets.

Don’t tell anybody I wrote this, but I do think what you guys do is so badass. I work with a bunch of jealous Cadets who couldn’t make it into the Army Aviation division, they’re just bitter. When I was little my dad used to take me to the Blue Angels shows in Chicago whenever they made their way across the States. Kind of the reason why I wanted to be in the military in the first place. But only my dad knows that. And well, I guess you now too. So, keep my secret safe Mr. Seresin.

I know the weather is less than desirable, but I do hope you’re finding things you love in Annapolis! There are some of the best crab cakes I’ve ever had there.

Thanks for the smiles after a long week!

Your New Friend,

Y/N Y/L/N

February 16th, 2015

Future Second Lieutenant Y/N Y/L/N,

That has a right to it doesn’t it? Your name sounds good with a Second Lieutenant in front of it. Sorry it’s been so long since I wrote. Getting busy with graduation coming up and practical’s and all. It’s a lame excuse I know, but it’s all I got. I hope you know how big I smiled reading your letter to me. I read it about fifty times before I could write a decent response to you. You have a way with words that I haven’t read in a long, long time.

Was your father in the military? None of my family was. I also loved the Blue Angels when they came down to Houston for the air shows. I’d always beg and plead and finally my mom or sister would give in and take me. They’re also the reason I’m here. So, I guess we should thank them that we got to meet. Neither you nor I would be in these academies without them. Your secret is locked away in the drawer and safe in my head too. It’s super safe with me.

I’ll be honest, the food here is so damn good. I sure do miss my Texas barbeque, but the spread is better up over here. Plus, the snacks? I didn’t know there was different brands sold across the states and you guys have better girl scout cookies! That’s just not fair. I could’ve gone my whole life knowing that there were two versions of girl scout cookies and I got the worse version. I’ve enjoyed the move far more than I’ve regretted it. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It doesn’t guarantee I’ll be a pilot, but it means I’m one step closer to getting there.

What all schooling do you have to do after you graduate this spring? Are you up for deployment soon? I’ve got a lot left to go. If I get picked after I’ve got a few years of flight school ahead of me. Then I’ll really be off. Wish me luck I make it!

With Love,

Jake

March 13th, 2015

Mr. Seresin,

I was getting worried! I thought it was something I had wrote. I’m glad it’s your negligence and not mine for the lack of communication. I forgive you though. It’s been stressful up here in New York as well. I luckily don’t have any practical’s I need to worry about. Just a few nuclear engineering classes are standing in between me and graduation.

I just have a year of Officer School (if I get selected that is) after this is all set and done come June. We have to apply this April so I’m getting a little anxious about the whole thing. I don’t really have a backup plan that I’d actually like to do so I really, really hope I get selected. Enough about me though, let’s talk about you. You’re going to get picked! Don’t let any bad thoughts get in between you and your goal. I think you’ll make a fine pilot Jake. You seem to have your wits about you which is the first step a lot of people miss.

My dad was in the Navy, like you. Don’t gloat though, it’ll ruin the finely crafted image I have of you. He was a deck hand or something like that. I wish I could ask him some more about it, but he passed when I was just thirteen. I just remember he loved being in the Navy. He loved everything about it. He made it seem like anything was possible with a passion.

I’m glad you’re enjoying the food and the girl scout cookies. It took me by surprise when I got Peanut Butter Patties instead of Tagalongs when I was down south for a winter. I’m so glad I grew up where the real GSC are sold.

I hope this letter brought you as much joy as yours brought me.

With the Same Love,

Y/N

(P.S. – Here’s my number if you’d like to text instead of write. No pressure!)

It had only been a week since you sent the last letter. Sure, you hadn’t really known the guy all too well but there was something so exciting about sending written mail. You felt like a little kid on Christmas waiting for a response from him. Who knew throwing your name in something so silly for your class would bring you so much joy.

You sat down on your desk setting your computer out front of you to study. Jake was right. It was an awfully busy time of the year. Applying for your future. Studying for you exams. When you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket you truly didn’t think much of it. It was only hours later when you finally closed the laptop shut that you went to check it that your face scrunched in confusion. You didn’t recognize the area code. It was then that it clicked that it could be him.

No pressure at all text! Hi there (it’s Jake).

You grinned reading it over and over again. That was quick! Maybe you made an impression? You sure hoped so. You hardly even knew what the guy looked like. You might’ve gone digging a little when you got his name. He was cute. Handsome even. But he seemed like that type. That arrogant pilot type. But even in just the two letters you received from him you got the hint that he wasn’t that type of guy at all.

I didn’t think you’d actually text me. It’s good to hear from you.

The messages between the two of you were infrequent at best as the semester ended. But he never failed to put a smile on your face. When you needed a pick me up you went through and read the messages that popped up.

On your graduation day you sent him a picture of you and a few friends in a cap and gown with the text: Beat you! You’re also looking at your newest Officer Candidate too!

You didn’t have to wait long for a reply. Your face only grew with glee seeing his response: Congrats Second Lieutenant. And future Captain. Knew you’d do it. You look beautiful as always.

Typing a quick reply, you hid your smile away just knowing your friends would make a stupid comment about the mystery man that always had you so smiley: You’re making me blush all the way up here in New York. I better get a picture next weekend when you do the same, future Lieutenant.

He came through on your request. When you got the text you could only smile. You spotted him in the picture immediately, your eyes drawn to him. He was so damned handsome. How lucky were you to get paired with a guy like that? Your smile grew further when you read the message: Lieutenant (and future pilot) Jake Seresin reporting for picture duty.

The messages occurred naturally between through the years as you were deployed, and he was in school. Some months you texted more and some you didn’t hear from him at all. It never bothered you. The silly little thing called life happened for both of you.

Still, the two of you often made time for phone calls when the time was right. The first time you talked on the phone you thought you were going to quite literally throw up you were so nervous. But in typical Jake Seresin fashion he made you feel cool as a cucumber. You talked and talked and talked into the morning. It felt so normal. Like you were catching up with an old friend. Jake Seresin. Who was this man that was making it hard to date? He was quite literally everything you wanted and needed in a partner. The universe had a funny way of working sometimes.

It had been six long years since you received that first letter from him. He was off on a mission now. A dangerous one he couldn’t tell you much about. But he wanted you at his arrival back home in San Diego and you promised him you’d be there. Assured him. That’s how you ended up in here pacing in the hotel room contemplating whether you should really go or not. It felt too intimate, like you were intruding. But he did say none of his family would be there, they had other things going on as the mission was a bit of a surprise to everybody. The pilots were all instructed to keep it as quiet as possible.

Your hands were shaking as you parked your car in the overcrowded lot. Gripping the steering wheel, you took a long breath in. You could do this. You had to do this. For him, for you. You stepped out of the car and made you way to the dock. The aircraft carrier was already docked by the time you got to the meeting site. You stood back and waited. Watched and waited. It felt like an eternity then finally the men and women started pouring out in their Navy Whites. You’d always thought they looked the sharpest of the bunch, but you’d never tell Jake that. He’d make fun of your Army uniforms or something like that.

It felt like both an eternity and seconds later that you spotted him amongst the crowd of sailors exiting the ship searching high and low for you. You promised you’d be there. And here you were. He either felt your eyes on him or had an uncanny sense of timing as his eyes locked with your own. His smile had melted you right there on the spot. You felt helpless as you willed your brain to move but it wouldn’t. You only began to panic a little as he moved with ease through the crowd making his way right to you.

He stood in front of you. Jake Seresin stood in front of you, much taller than you thought, “I knew I recognized you. First Lieutenant Y/L/N.” His eyebrows raised as you gaped at him with wide eyes as if he wasn’t really there. Closing your mouth, you knew you needed to pull it together but that sounded much easier said than done. Jake freaking Seresin, your pen pal was really standing in front of you in real life. He was more of enigma in your mind at this point. Somebody you could have deep life conversations with so easily but never having actually met the man it was hard for you to grasp he was really real. And standing in front of you.

“Jake.” You smiled hoping it sounded somewhat normal. He was so much more handsome than the photos he sent through the years. How was that possible? Wasn’t it supposed to go the other way? You continued once your head finally could form coherent sentences, “Well it’s actually Captain now. Got promoted a couple weeks ago.”

He turned his head to the side just slightly, “You didn’t tell me that.” Almost looking offended you hadn’t told him.

“Never felt like the right time to divulge. With this mission and all. Had to keep you locked in.” You looked up to him now studying his face as you gained more courage talking to him. He was something your dreams couldn’t make up.

He nodded not daring to take his eyes off you. He too thought you were even prettier than he could have envisioned. You’d sent pictures and he’d followed your social media, but nothing could’ve prepared him. Especially in your civilian clothes, he was a sucker already. Deep down Jake knew you were the reason he was so non-committal before. He was looking for somebody just like you and couldn’t find her. Yet here you stood in front of him. You were so funny and witty and smart, and yet he couldn’t put it all into words. You are the whole package and so much more.

“You still could’ve told me. We talked enough before I left.” He grinned seeing that the tension was already easing from your shoulders.

You shook your head, “Wasn’t about me Seresin. I just wanted you to stay focused and safe. And thank goodness you did.” You admitted a little more than you wanted, but he just made you feel so gushy. Like you were a sweeter version of yourself you could hardly recognize. And the words just kept flowing out when he gave you that look with those green eyes.

“Oh yeah?” He challenged you a bit sensing that you were starting to feel a bit more comfortable with him already, “Didn’t think you’d be so relieved darlin’.”

Ignoring the sweet term of endearment you shook your head, “And waste six years of my life on nothing? Jake that’s so inefficient. Of course, I want you safe.” The words came fast, and they were snarkier than you intended. But you truly couldn’t help it.  He had you relaxed within the first five minutes of talking to him. You felt like you could just be you.

He threw his head back in laughter. That same weight had lifted right off his shoulders when you snapped back at him like he was waiting on it, “There she is. My favorite mouthy girl.”

He said it so nonchalantly you thought your heart was going to combust on the spot. Your cheeks surely gave way to your reaction to his words. His favorite mouthy girl? Christ. He was trying to send you into a coma or something! Your brain quite literally short circuited as it failed to form any coherent sentence. He only chuckled in response seeing your cheeks heat up in a blazing blush.

“It’s so nice to actually see you in person. You know I’ve always told you this, but it rings even truer even now. You’re quite a stunner, Captain.” His eyes met yours before you looked away quickly feeling as though you were going to faint at those words. You weren’t sure how this interaction was going to go initially. But you really didn’t think he’d come right out and say that he found you stunning. The occasional letter and texts in between had grown flirtier the longer you had known him, but it never crossed your mind he’d be so outright with it.

You turned away out of sheer bashfulness. Never had a man been so bold with you before. It was foreign. Not uncomfortable, no. Nothing could be with him. He made it easier than seemed possible.

“You flatter me Jake.” You grinned up at him hoping your makeup would hide the darkening of your cheeks, “I should say the same for you. Handsome as ever.”

“Now you’re making me blush, Cap.” Sure as hell the faintest pink dusted his cheek, but he seemed much stronger than you. He kept the eye contact going.

You shook your head trying to bite back the big smile you had on your face, but it showed through anyway. How was he doing this? Making you feel so giddy just by looking at him. You knew this man but for the first time it actually felt like you might actually love him. You’d had the deepest conversations with him. When you needed a laugh you texted him. When you craved advice you called him. He was the guy you turned to. And it dawned on you that he never failed to answer you. He wanted to take your calls and answer your texts. He looked forward to it. He too had fallen for a woman he’d never met before.

You needed the change the subject and fast or more words would be tumbling out, “How was the mission? Everyone make it out okay?” You asked having no idea what you were getting yourself into. Jake hadn’t told you much about what they were doing, couldn’t tell you much. But now that it was over he couldn’t wait to tell you every nitty gritty little detail.

“I’ll tell you if you let me buy you a drink?” He gave you a smirk that sent nerves racing throughout your body. Jesus. This man was something else.

Giving him a curious once over you nodded, “Shouldn’t I be the one buying you a drink sailor? You coming home and all?”

“Absolutely not. I’ll never let you buy me a drink darlin’.”

Gosh, Jake was actually going to be the death of you. He was so good making his words come off so easily. You felt terribly high strung next to him, “And why not?”

“Because I’m trying to woo you sweetheart. When I get you to go on a date with me I have to impress you. Inevitably that’ll work and you’ll become my girlfriend. And I can’t have my girlfriend paying for my drinks, no. And it’ll only get worse when I get the pleasure of marrying you. If my wife thinks she’ll pay for a thing she had another thing coming.” He gleamed at you as if he didn’t just say all of that.

You gulped before a stupid smile grew on your face. Of course, you knew he was forward but again, he just took you on an entirely new adventure with that statement, “That’s quite a bold statement Jake.”

He shrugged, “I thought I should make my intentions perfectly clear. I think you’re one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. And you’re perfectly you. Sharp as tack. Funnier than ever. You’re you. And I really like you.”

You let out a breath not sure if you really believed all of that, “So not just pals, huh?” It was all you could think of quickly but that did it for him. Sealed the deal. He knew he was going to marry you right then and there. You’d complete him in every way he needed you and vice versa.

He shook his head taking his arm in yours, “Not just pals.” Leaning into his gentle embrace you led him to your car where he would not let you drive. He insisted that it was a gentleman’s job even if he was only running off four hours of sleep. You’d appeased the man who was on his very best behavior. Not that you minded. Nope, not at all. You were thrilled that Jake was exactly who he seemed to be. Your Jake. Not just pals indeed.

Jake Seresin/Top Gun: Permanent Taglist (If you'd like to be added to any or all works please fill out the form here: Taglist Sign Up) @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @mamachasesmayhem @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @illisea @jessicab1991 @guacam011y @dempy

[malakaie]

had some feelings to write out – for/about @tommyend, no pressure at all to respond

I started watching wrestling – specifically, AEW – in late October 2023. It’s been just over a year since I started watching, and I didn’t expect it to consume as much of my brain-space as it has. When I started watching, I didn’t really know who anyone was. I had heard a few names – Randy Orton, CM Punk, Jade Cargill, Roman Reigns – but had no real concept of the landscape I was entering or what it would mean to get invested.

Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming, and there was more I didn’t understand than I did. In those first few weeks, I received one very helpful piece of advice: don’t try to understand everything. Find a wrestler or two whose vibe you like and stick with them – the rest will click into place eventually, or it won’t, and either way is fine.

And so I did. I think it was around the lead-up to Full Gear 2023 that I started really paying attention. There was something about what House of Black was doing that was different from anything else I was seeing. I could understand just enough to recognise talented athletes when I saw them, but I wasn’t quite plugged in enough to the overall wrestling “ecosystem” that that was enough on its own to get my attention. Now that I understand more of what I’m looking at, it’s easier to understand what I’m meant to be impressed by – it’s easier now to have that moment of, holy shit, how did they do that?

But I didn’t understand yet. I’d been watching wrestling for about a month and was still finding my footing. What I saw, and latched onto, in House of Black was a group of four impressive performers that I could tell were in love with the art of what they were doing. Everything was done with intent – the way they entered the ring, the different but cohesive styles with which each member of the House wrestled, the gear they wore, the ever-evolving paint on Malakai’s face, the evolution and growth of Julia’s character.

It was both the moment that I finally, properly understood that professional wrestling was also theatre—and, I think, the moment that I was magnetised. It felt like a faction that was made for me: a band of storytellers who wanted to take my hand and show me what wrestling could be and was and is, and had the creativity and cohesiveness and physical talent to pull it off.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t lost anymore, desperately trying to catch up to understanding something that everyone around me already seemed to know. I had a guide of some sort, and one that resonated: I’ve been reading since I was 3, writing stories since I was 11, have always been a little “strange,” drawn to creative types and niche hobbies and other people that don’t have many friends. And here was someone who not only felt like me, sounded like me, but was wanted and loved and succeeding. A stranger to me, in the way that performers and public figures always are, but I felt like it was going to be okay. If Malakai could make it—though I didn’t and don’t know him personally, I had no way of knowing if he was ever afraid, or if he doubted himself—then maybe I could, too.

The more I watched and the more I learned, the more true that became. I’ve been depressed and anxious most of my adult life. I have scoliosis that is likely to get worse as I get older, and causes me pain multiple times a week, if not every day. Hearing someone whose work I admired be open about his mental health—especially when sports industries have typically not been kind to people, perhaps especially men, who are vulnerable in that way—and be honest when he’s in pain shook something loose in me that I hadn’t quite realised was stuck and frozen in shame. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay that I have days where my brain is trying to consume itself. It’s okay that I’m in pain. Did I get out of bed today? Have I been outside? Have I eaten? Have I done something to be kind to myself—or, failing that, kind to someone else? Have I done something creative today?

I started my “gender journey,” for lack of a better phrase, in 2018. There was a lot, a lot, of messing around with pronouns, labels. I didn’t know what I was, only that “just a girl” didn’t feel quite right anymore. And then I felt like I was lying, because, well—I was fine being a girl when I was ten, and thirteen, and sixteen, so why was it suddenly different at 25? Sometimes I still feel like I’m lying. The generation above me often still holds an image of trans people that requires them to have always been miserable, always been “pretending.” A few months ago my mother suggested it was fine if my idea of being feminine had expanded, but she didn’t really believe I was trans, because I’d never been unhappy as a girl child, and besides that I looked like a “clone” of the small handful of other transmasc and nonbinary people she’s met. I must be a pod person. (Newsflash, mom: This is just what queer people look like, a lot of the time. I cut and dyed my hair and got one singular tattoo. How terrible.)

She didn’t ask me how I feel when people call me she, or her—it makes me feel horribly small and unreal, by now—and in fairness to her, I didn’t quite defend myself either. I cringed and shrunk and asked for time to think about it, when what I wanted to say is yes, I know I haven’t had the history you expect to see from me, but this is who I am, and I’m not telling you that I was never a girl. I’m telling you that girl isn’t the place where I stop.

But I was scared, and I felt cornered, and I didn’t say any of that.

What I did have, though, was an artist and a performer and a storyteller who did things with his expression, his clothing, how he presented himself to the world that was like a lightbulb going on. The confidence of a man who told stories with the way that he looked, and who used feminine symbols to do it. He wasn’t any less masculine—but it was an embracing of both that cemented who he was, and I thought: holy shit. I can do that. Our identities are not the same, and I’m not too keen on speculating about the identities of public figures that I don’t know in any event—but it’s reassuring, motivating even, to be able to regularly see someone comfortably expressing his gender (because, yes, cis presentation is gender expression too) in a way that makes sense to him and incorporates the feminine and resonates through his art without doubt or reservation or compromise. This is who we are. Take it or leave it.

I don’t know what’s coming next for any of us. AEW looks like such a different place—in a good way—from when I started watching, and the world is looking pretty scary these days, but I’m still here. The art that got me interested in wrestling in the first place is still here, and I have my theories—unsubstantiated, so far—about where Malakai and House of Black are taking their story, but regardless of theories I’ve been so fortunate to watch them continue to grow and evolve over the past year. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I know the love for the story and the art is real.

I don’t know you personally, Malakai, and I don’t want to claim to, no matter how many scraps I’ve gathered together from interviews and how much of the backlog of matches I’ve done my best to watch so I can understand where you’ve come from and where you’re going next. But your work and your love for your craft has moved me, and I’m glad I stayed alive when it was hard so I could be around to see it when it mattered.

[lxmelle]

Just some thoughts on 270

Yes the end is near.

Yes I almost threw up when I saw that unmistakable hairstyle...

Yes I was a bit disappointed that there were no visible satosugu crumbs - or are there? More on this later... and the it overall just felt a little bit 😔 empty 😪

Nevertheless, I want to just blab about a few things.

First, is it Geto/Kenjaku?

If we think about how Yuta’s copy CT works, Rika would need to consume a viable part of the sorcerer. The only part of Kenny left was his whole brain. He was the brain. The rest is Geto. We have not seen any evidence of Yuta having CSM, so it can be assumed that Yuta did not have Rika eat any part of Geto. Otherwise, it’s be Geto’s CT and not Kenjaku’s body-hopping technique.

Imho: The person with Takaba is not likely to be either Kenny or Geto. Geto cannot function without a brain, there was none “spare” either, so the theory of a spirit entering the body is going to make it alive again - no, it doesn’t. There is no other living sorcerer who can do that - Ui Ui maxed it out with the number of times and there is no other person to swap with. Just. Not. Possible.

And Kenny was seen to have told Mimiko and Nanako that he took Geto’s brains out to inhabit it.

So. My conclusion is that Gege is baiting. Just as he did with the “we have to help Yuta!” And the rude yelling that got so many of us wondering just who would speak to roughly to Yuta and what warranted it. We were all asking: who calls Yuta “Yuta” and not “Okkutsu-senpai” etc. I even thought it was Shoko, assuming that Maki was in the same hallway as the others, but the main culprit was of course the most obvious, Maki herself.

And that baiting thing with the clock theory about 2:21 pm linking with chapter 221 of Gojo’s unsealing - I theorised it’s about having presence (like how spiritualists, and in Shinto, believe that spirit is all around us) despite being dead and his soul with Geto.

And goodness know what other theories there are out there about time and Gojo revival. I’ve said before that I don’t buy into it, but it is interesting.

So is it Geto? Kenjaku? I 80% think not but... yeah, I am worried. To be completely transparent, I’m so scared that it is.

Because I’m in the camp of: please please Gege, please please please let Gojo and Geto be at peace in their eternal afterlife until they’re ready to be reborn and let them find each other over and over and over again.

So rationally, I doubt it is. But I’m worried. I’m worried for reasons like: why aren’t the bodies and resting places of Gojo & Geto still not mentioned?

Next thing to I have some thoughts on are about Itafushi. They’re really good friends and I think it’s also just one of those things Gege is doing because it’s JUMP and he doesn’t want to just pretend the Hana -> Megumi thing is forgotten. It also shows some character growth.

So overall, I’m rather neutral about the Megumi + Hana thing. They’re still kids, and Yuji + Megumi are compatible but they’re also not quite Satosugu, so their relationship will be undeniably different. Friends or otherwise.

It’s nice to see the Megumi is taking initiative and finding novel ways to make new meaning & connections. I wouldn’t read too deeply into it, especially since Hana obviously read too deeply into it and got it all wrong.

I will say that it feels cliche maybe. Again it’s maybe a JUMP serialisation thing shonen mangakas do, since a big portion of the fanbase are young boys too. Gege can’t be doing too much for lgbtq+ too obviously after all.

So it leaves me feeling it is a little reminiscent of the Sasuke and Sakura pairing in Naruto - as if it could become something seemingly out of convenience/settling/making do, but what do I know? Sometimes relationships in life are like that. I’d rather marry my best friend, but you know... different strokes for different folks. As they say.

Now it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t find a way to make it about satosugu. I’m imagining collective groans from people who may be reading this... so please skip if you’re bored of me now, lol. Or read on if you like to be in satosugu delulu brainrot like me.

One of the satosugu-related takeaways from this recent chapter is that it seems to reduce the possibility of interpreting Gojo not allowing Shoko to process Geto’s body as being out of consideration for her.

Her saying that the idiot should have let her process Geto’s body pretty much says Gojo took matters into his own hands. Not only was it protocol… but she also personally thought it would be a privilege. But Gojo did not let her.

We ofc don’t know the details.

So it leaves us with: He did it for his own reasons, or reasons at least relating to Geto. Kenjaku thought it was out of consideration. And Kenjaku is not a reliable narrator, nor was Geto... who tended to think he didn’t matter.

You know, as a person who can quietly just swallow vomit and shit rags without complaint. As a person who could practically transform the filth, negativity, evil, and darkness of the world into power that he could use for good - he was vessel of sacrifice.

Anyway, I digress.

It seems to indicate that Gojo kept his body to himself ... for his own reasons, breaking protocol.

And referring back to 270 again, for Shoko to talk about the afterlife right after preparing the body -> cremation is strange. Does preparing the body and cremating it have anything to do with the afterlife? 🤔 so somehow, prepare body -> cremate -> mourn/afterlife?

Interesting in that Gege is giving us yet another example of how everyone has a different reality / belief. If we believe what we saw in Gojo’s death, then there is one and Shoko will be proven wrong when her time comes like how Gojo was wrong about dying alone.

And it is also interesting in the sense that it’s familiar…

Something about how she said prior to Gojo’s unsealing, about “I couldn’t love either of you like you loved each other, but I was there too.” - am I reading too deeply? Probably. But it’s there for me to read.

Shoko prepared Tsumiki for cremation. She was made her beautiful for the afterlife - even if she was to be cremated, there was something about giving her something (dignity?) before she turned to ash. And those left behind can send them off into the afterlife feeling they did their best.

I think you’d need a certain level of trust for someone to hand your beloved over. Or at least feel like they would mourn the departed like you would. Or faith that your beloved would be happy with entrusting you with that decision. In some cultures, the family wash and swathe their dead in cloth with their own hands where possible.

So Shoko. Shoko could do it for Geto, for Gojo. She was there. She was willing. But. It was almost as if saying that Gojo 1. could not allow someone else to prepare Geto’s body, and neither did he seem to have mourned because 2. Geto was not cremated to be sent into the afterlife. As if he didn’t trust anyone. As if he could not let go.

Again, Rika kept Yuta’s body “alive” too. Parallels are paralleling.

I don’t know how Geto regenerated or if Kenny was responsible for it. Or if Gojo somehow did. But those are just unnecessary details at this point.

And again, Shoko was there but she could not be like what Gojo was to Geto and what Geto was to Gojo.

How complicated.

I’m reminded of that scene where he says to ichiji and Shoko: “There are just 3 of us remaining huh.”

In agreement to Shoko acknowledging that Geto’s body needed retrieving from Kenjaku, it was quite a pregnant pause from Gojo before he goes, “………yeah.”

He seemed surprised Shoko brought it up and decided to just gloss over it.

To me, it collectively implies that Gojo doesn’t let Geto be anyone else’s but his.

His friendship was his one and only. His loneliness was his. His dreams were his. His love was his. His life was his. His body was... his. And his soul was his too. As was his satisfaction.

I think Gege wants us to understand something here. By what he is showing and not showing us.

If I think about the exclusivity that they shared... the whole, “we are the strongest (together)” and “it wouldn’t be bad to be killed by you” or even “I’m jealous but if you were satisfied I’m glad for you.” and then “if you were there to pat me on the back I’d be satisfied.”

It’s a lot like... only YOU can be the one. And therefore I think Gojo kept Geto all to himself. Maybe thinking Geto would only want HIM to touch his body.

It was his exclusive right. And that was mutually shared... because Geto wasn’t really pleased with Gojo getting satisfaction from elsewhere (lol, you know, the “jealous” 妬けるね that got the fandom in a frenzy).

I’ve mentioned it in another post... link: https://www.tumblr.com/lxmelle/758015943938113536/i-love-the-idea-of-mutuality-that-is-deeply-rooted I really do like the idea of Gojo and Geto just teaching each other things. Like selfishness and love. Binding each other to the other. Selfishness and selflessness as part of being human.

Was this an act out of the side of Gojo that was “a little selfish, a little inhuman but a little too human”, and he wanted to keep Geto all to himself? Despite not giving his best friend a proper burial?

When I think about how he normally did what Geto approved of (you can dispute this if you wish) and I think back to how he might’ve really given Geto’s body back to his family- but what we saw in the manga seemed like they didn’t have much involvement either. Surely they’d have wanted Geto cremated?

So it leaves me with the idea that it was Gojo acting out his secret feelings.

Just Gege and how he shields Gojo’s privacy. Secret words. Secret thoughts. You know. Gege being Gege letting Gojo do Gojo things.

I think we might need to accept that Gojo and Geto just have this exclusive thing we aren’t privy to.

That’s all for now. Abrupt ending 🫡

Thanks for reading my rambling if you made it this far 🫶

Feel free to share your thoughts/comments/criticisms 😄

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Theo: What if they hate me?

Gabriel: Then I guess we’ll die-

Theo: Now why would you say that?

Gabriel: I’m joking. You’ll be okay! Swear, they’re like the most unserious people ever. 

Theo: Are you joking? They look pretty serious. I’m freaking intimidated!

Gabriel: What can I say? My friends are pretty cool. Ares is a cutie. Gum is well, Gum. 

Gum: What am I?

Gabriel: NOTHIN! 

Gum: Hmm… I’m watching you. Hi, you must be Theo!

Theo: Nice to meet you guys. 

Ares: Dude, I feel like you picked the wrong place to get to know your friend. 

Gabriel: It’s perfect! 

Ares: It’s loud. I mean, can you hear us alright?

Theo: Honestly, not really but it’s FINE! I’ve never been to a bar like this. 

Gum: Cherry’s great. Lots of great memories. Ah. 

Gabriel: By memories, she means all the girls she kissed.

Gum: Seriously?

Gabriel: [ chuckles ] What?

Gum: You’re buying the first round of drinks for that. 

Gabriel: Fine! 

Ares: [ signs ] You alright?

Theo: [ mouths ] You know how to sign?

Ares: [ outloud ] My parents had me learn a language in school. God, I still can’t believe him-

Theo: It’s alright! I’m allowed to enjoy this!

Ares: Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-

Theo: [ laughs ] I know what you meant. Love this song by the way! 

Gum: Me too! Come on, let’s all go dance!

-

Carlos: Gabriel! How’ve you been, man?

Gabriel: Doin’ good, you?

Carlos: Awesome! Garret and I are buying a home.

Gabriel: Holy shit man, congrats! You still gonna be around?

Carlos: Yep! So what can I get you?

Gabriel: Hmm. Four shots of Patron, please?

Carlos: I gotchu.

Gabriel: At a bar with no drink?

?: Oh! Yeah, uh, that’s a bit weird, isn’t it? 

Carlos: Be nice, she’s one of my regulars.

Gabriel: I will! Just curious. Are you here alone? 

?: [ abruptly ] Yes. Why?

Gabriel: Seems lonesome. No offense to Carlos keepin’ ya company here.

Carlos: Dude!

Gabriel: I’ve never seen you around. 

?: I usually stay hidden. 

Gabriel: Ah, so you like to observe. Being a wallflower’s cool and all but you could always experience something new.

?: What do you have in mind?

Gabriel: A few ideas of the fun sort. Interested?

?: Kali. My name is Kali. 

-

Gum: Y-you didn’t!

Gabriel: I did!

Gum: Oh my god, I can’t with you.

Gabriel: [ giggles ] Well I had a great time.

Theo: Wow. They’re pretty wasted. 

Ares: Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen them on this guy’s twenty-first birthday.

Theo: I can imagine.

Ares: Gabriel tells me you’re new to San My, have you always been a fan of the city?

Theo: I’ve always been curious. I love getting to know people but the people back home, well, you can only get to know so much when your town is pretty small.

Ares: That’s so fascinating though, I feel like my life has been surrounded by plenty of people.

Theo: Is that so?

Ares: Mhm, my family is really big into the music industry so we’ve gotten to know a lot of artists.

Theo: That’s so cool!

Ares: Yeah. What do you do Theo?

Theo: I am a dancer. Nothing wild. I’m just an extra in Cirque Felicity at the casino. I teach classes part time at this studio. 

Ares: Holy shit. Anything specific you specialize in?

Theo: Ballet. I’d love to do a serious show but I highly doubt I’d be casted in anything.

Ares: Why not?

Theo: There’s… Just a particular build people have in mind when it comes to who plays what. 

Ares: Hmm, well the city’s great for advocating change. My bet is you could choreograph your own show.

Theo: That’s not a bad idea. 

-

Theo: It was nice talking to you Ares.

Ares: Likewise, Theo. Night.

[carpenoctem1897]

More and more people have started talking about this online which is really nice to see, but I kinda just wanted to go off on a little tangent about never really dating or having much romantic experience and how that has effected my self esteem.

I feel like people say the cliche things like “learn to love yourself first” or “it’ll come when you least expect it” but honestly the more I hear it, the more frustrated I become.

I won’t lie, when I was younger I really did think something HAD to be wrong with me in some way for nobody to see me in a romantic light. It’s taken a lot of work to build myself up into the person I am today, and I’m genuinely very proud of how far I’ve come in terms of the way I feel about myself and my body and the way I’m perceived. I still have bad days, but I don’t think there’s a single person out there who doesn’t. But those bad days are few and far between.

I can honestly say that I do love myself. I think I’m a good person and a kind person and a patient person. I’m a romantic at heart and I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to.

I’ve never had anyone actively seek me out for a relationship. I’ve never been formally asked on a date, the one boyfriend I have had ended up cheating on me.

When you go through life like that, never receiving any kind of validation that you are worthy of being viewed in that way, it becomes incredibly difficult to believe you ever will. It’s so so hard for me to imagine someone else loving me or being interested in that way. Like I can honestly say that I don’t really know what to do if someone compliments me, I doubt I’d really know if I was being flirted with….. and as much as I would really love to get the opportunity to experience romance, I feel like I’ve been so conditioned to think that it’s something that I’ll never have that I wouldn’t be able to identify romantic interest if it hit me with the force of a speeding train.

Maybe this all sounds incredibly trivial and shallow, but honestly I just want to understand what it feels like to have someone love me that way. Yes I have friends and family who love me, but familial and platonic love just aren’t the same.

And onto the topic of “It’ll come when you least expect it” or “just wait, it’ll happen when the time is right.” WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WAIT TO BE LOVED! I see so many people experiencing romance every day, why not me? Am I not just as deserving?

This whole rant might come off as bitter, and maybe I am. I just hope at the very least that maybe someone else can relate and maybe feel a little less alone in their experience.

[sp00kymulderr]

Thank you for tagging me @kedsandtubesocks @schnarfer @almostfoxglove @guiltyasdave @chronically-ghosted & @arcanefox207 to post my favourites of my own work this year ❤️

FOR MY FAVOURITES FROM OTHER WRITERS/ARTISTS THIS YEAR CLICK HERE

I will be honest I wasn’t going to do this, but I suppose we can be nice to ourselves as a treat 😅 I think it’s a lovely idea and absolutely everyone should be allowed to feel proud of their creativity and expression. It’s not always easy, we really are our own worst critics aren’t we? But celebrating ourselves is important.

It’s been a very up and down year for me as a person and a creator. I want to write all the time, but most of the time my brain doesn’t allow that. I’ve thought about deleting. I’ve thought about giving up writing. But I haven’t, and I’m still here, and I thank my gorgeous friends and the absolutely incredible people in this fandom for that for being so loving and encouraging 💕

Anyway let me stop blathering on, here’s some of the things I’ve enjoyed making this year!

🩵The Dieter Bravo Brainrot club is without a doubt the best thing I’ve been involved in this year. Me and @chronically-ghosted launched our dedicated Dieter discord server in January and now I don’t know where I’d be without it. It was just a silly little idea me and Taylor both had separately at seemingly the same time, and now it’s a whole thing. I’ve run writing challenges, we’ve had numerous watch parties, silly games, and now a gift exchange! And it’s never felt like anything but joy. We are feral, we are fun, we are encouraging and we lift each other up. And did I mention feral? I love having a dedicated space to talk about That Man, I love the ideas that pop up in there, the art and thoughts that are shared. I love running that place and I love everyone who is part of that community - thank you all for making my year 🩷

🩵Lover boy - Joel Miller x transmasc reader - Lover boy is my pride and joy, and truly the thing I’ve written I think i personally connect with the most. I was scared of posting the first fic tbh, but I’m so glad I did. It’s a chance for me to explore things that mean a lot to me. And I just love how in love they are. It’s only a few short pieces for now, but I have so much more planned for these two.

🩵After - Dave York x Carol York x Reader - This little story came to me after rereading one of my favourite poems. I loved the ache of it, the sweetness of the melancholy and the warmth of the post-threesome glow. I really love this short piece, I find myself coming back to it a lot.

🩵lost, found - Dieter Bravo x reader - Dieter and angst just makes sense, and this was born of my own angst which I guess is why it’s stuck with me since writing it. I think Dieter is an easy character to project certain feelings on to, and I have a lot of headcanons about his early life and his queerness especially. Also this story features my favourite polycule and one day I’m gonna write all about them.

🩵inhale, exhale - Joel Miller x reader - I’ve written a lot of Joel this year, more than any other character. Can’t help it, he’s fantastic to write. This is a little angsty, a little smutty, with a slice of the horrors of the qz too. I remember it just flowing from me while I wrote it and I’m really happy with the finished piece.

🩵Closer to light - Javi P x reader - Idk I just think this is insanely hot if I do say so myself.

Tagging some others to share their own 2024 favourites and celebrate their work! @covetyou @seventeenpins @perotovar @qveerthe0ry @sin-djarin

@luxurychristmaspudding @for-a-longlongtime @strang3lov3 @missredherring @ozarkthedog (And if you’ve already done this, tag me in yours ❤️ I wanna see!)

[angstywaifu]

Black Dahlia - 6. Yield

Garrick Tavis x OC (Dahlia Aetos)

One tragic day changes Dahlia's life forever. Despised by her father and brother, she's spent her entire life trying to be the child and sister she use to be. But nothing she ever does is good enough. She joins the Rider's Quadrant to prove them wrong. Garrick now in his second year has proven he is more than the mark on his skin to his fellow riders, and taken leadership of his own Squad alongside Xaden. Little does he know the girl walking across the parapet is about to send him on a rollercoaster of a year.

Black Dahlia Masterlist | Masterlist

Name after name gets read off the death roll. The names of the cadets who never made it across the parapet. Those who have now joined Malek.

None of them mean anything to me though. A few last names here and there sound familiar, most likely children of other riders I’ve met along the way.

“I know they said eighty yesterday, but hearing them read out all these names makes it really sink in.” A girl next to me whispers.

I look over to see it’s the girl who occupies the bed next to mine in the sleeping quarters. I’d never caught her name, but her bobbed hair cut made her stand out amongst the other girls in the quadrant. Well at least to me it did. Most girls had their hair cut into pixie cuts to minimise the risk of it being burned off or grabbed during a fight. She’s clearly cut it shorter than it usually was, but wasn’t fully prepared to cut it all off like me. My longer hair definitely made me stand out. Despite the messy high ponytail I’d pulled it into, it still hung to midway down my back. Something I’d have to be mindful of.

“It really does. But it shouldn’t be this long again for a while right?” The girl with dark hair on her other side whispers back.

“Least not till next year. Hard to say with threshing and presentation day though.” I say, cutting into their conversation.

Both look at me wide eyed. As I look them over it’s easy to tell they have some training behind them. Enough to get by and hold their own, but they’d still need to put in some extra work to keep up with those who have come from military families.

“Surely it can’t be that bad?” The other girl with dark brown hair tied back into a bun, asks as she leans around her friend.

“It all comes down to the dragons and if they deem us worthy.” I say with shrug as they gulp nervously.

“Surely they won’t get rid of that many though. Not with how many riders they lose each year, they need to get as many in as they can.” The one with the bob states.

“She’s right.” A slightly gruff voice next to me says. I almost think it’s Xaden, it sounds so similar to him. But there’s a slight softness to it that isn’t him. “Dragons don’t care about the amount of riders dying. If they don’t deem you worthy, they won’t hesitate. But you two will be fine.”

Bodhi must smile at them as they both relax instantly, offering quick smiles of their own before turning their attention back to the front.

“You don’t know that.” I mutter to Bodhi, hoping the other two don’t hear me.

He looks down at me and shrugs. “I don’t, but if they start doubting themselves then they’ll get into trouble. And we need as many of us to survive as we can.”

I hated to admit it, but he was right. If you started doubting yourself here and it would all go downhill. Bodhi would make a great leader one day. Not even two days in and he was already looking out for people he barely knew. Something not many here would do. A lot of people saw the Riders Quadrant as survival of the fittest. Squad loyalty meant fuck all to a lot of people here until they needed to.

“All right, second and third years you know where to go.” Xaden calls out as the second and third years break away from us, leaving us first year with Xaden. “Now I expect at least one of you has memorised your schedule.”

His eyes scan over the seven first years in front of him, probably trying to figure out if one of us had. Which I had. It wasn’t hard. But I guess when you’ve lived by a schedule most of your life it isn’t. As if he can sense what I’m thinking Xaden meets my gaze and nods at me. But he can’t have read my thoughts. Inntinnsic’s are killed on the spot, and there’s no way to pretend you don’t have a signet. Maybe he just assumes I’ve memorised it due to who I am.

”So if there are no questions, just stay alive. I’ll see you all in the gym after lunch for assessments.” He says before walking off and leaving us to our own devices.

”Please tell me one of you knows where to go?” Bodhi asks as he turns to all of us, scratching the back of his head.

By some miracle we had all found our classes throughout the day, and now we all stood around the mats waiting to be called up for assessments. We were the last session of the day due to them splitting us up for this. But once challenges started in two weeks we would all be in here. In front of us a girl I now knew as Liz stood on the mat facing up against another first year from our squad. What was their name again? Edward? Ethan? I honestly hadn’t remembered his name even after spending all day with them. Least he was giving me something to look at. Nearly every male in this room was shirtless. And I don’t blame them. It was hot as hell in this room.

Whatever his name was clearly knew how to fight, but they could tell Liz was not as confident. As could I. Her fighting stance was good so she knew something. But I could tell she was very aware of the size and power difference between her and him.

”They need to do something.” I mutter as the keep circling each other. “Need to show what they can do.”

Bodhi, who had taken what seemed to be his now usual spot next to me hummed in agreement. “If what Xaden told me about challenges is true, they use this to weed out the weak. Pair them against other cadets who are stronger.”

He was right. Xaden was right. I had been trained by Emetterio multiple times over the years. And I knew what he was like. He had told me stories about some of the cadets he had seen over the years. His method was to try push those who were weaker by putting them against stronger cadets. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. And strangely, even though I had just met the girl in front of me, I didn’t want her to be one of the ones that didn’t.

The mat next to them frees up, Emetterio scanning the crowd of cadets pointing to a female third year with copper coloured hair. “You and-” He turns his gaze to the rest of us, clearly not finding anyone he wants to put her against. Till his eyes meet mine. A smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he raises his finger to me. “You.”

Around me the other first years whisper between each other as I step forward. Emetterio has so far been keeping it to cadets in the same year. The occasional first year against a second year, or a third year against a second year. But he was yet to pin a first year and a third year against each other. This fight was either going to push myself or the third year. And right now I couldn’t tell which. As she steps onto the mat across from me I can tell she knows how to fight. Of course she did, she was in her third year. You wouldn’t get to your third year if you didn’t. As we start to circle each other I note that Xaden has moved over to join Bodhi, both of them watching me intently. And it wasn’t them. It was everyone. Everyone wanted to see what the Colonel’s daughter could do.

The third year makes a lunge for me, and its then I notice her sloppy foot work. Hand to hand combat is not her strong point. This isn’t to challenge me, its to challenge her. She swings out wide, trying to hit me in the head, but I easily side step and bat her arm away. I can almost feel the anger radiate off her as she spins back to me trying the same move again. Rookie error. Instead of batting her arm away like I had last time I grab it, twisting it behind her back as she yelps in pain. Despite having some height and size on me, her attempts to get out are feeble. She’s clearly gotten lucky in her previous fights. She attempts to kick my right knee, but misses by a long shot and throwing her off balance in my grip. I use it to my advantage, applying pressure to the back of her knee with my foot, sending her down to the mat as she lets out another yelp of pain as I pin her face down. She manages to twist in my grip, attempting to roll underneath me and grab me. Instead of staying above her, I roll with her. Wrapping my arms around her neck, placing her in a choke hold. Her nails dig into my arm, a hiss escaping my lips as I feel them pierce the skin and a bead of blood rolls down my arm. After a few seconds I can feel her getting weaker and weaker, her nails no longer piercing the skin of my arm.

”Yield!”

”Yield, Nari!”

Nari pushes through, clearly not wanting to give up. Clearly wanting to prove she won’t be beaten by a first year. Let alone the Colonel’s daughter. But after a few more seconds of struggling her hand falls away from my arm, tapping the mat three times.

She yields.

I quickly release my hold on her, pushing her off me as she clutches at her throat, gasping for air as she lies on the mat. Some of her friends rushing over to her side to help her. As I stand, I realise now the fight is over the room is quiet. I look around and see everyone watching us. Emetterio standing off to the side nodding at me in approval before pointing at two other cadets to take to the mats, the room filling with the usual buzz as the fights start back up. I pivot on my heal to return to my spot on the mat. Only to be met with two pairs of onyx eyes looking right at me. Bodhi not even bothering to hide a giant smile that adorns his face. While Xaden gives me a brief nod of his head before disappearing back into the crowd to join the other second years.

@imtoanonymousforyou @simplyme-fornow @omalmal @lalaluch @wolfbc97 @leptitlu @fullmoon-94

[therapycat21]

All Right Now Part 9

Travis Kelce x Famous!Reader Description: The reader catches the eye of famous footballer Travis.

Warnings: None

Social Media AU

I still can’t believe it, I never thought I’d be engaged to be married, ever considering my track record, But I guess the best things come when you least expect it to. Travis and his family coming into my life was definitely a blessing in disguise. There is no doubt I love my family but it’s a different feeling of love being accepted by your partner’s family. 

It’s been a few days since Travis proposed, the news outlets obviously already know and are spinning a bunch of theories every day. 

“They only got engaged because she’s pregnant”  “She gave him an ultimatum and that’s why he did it.”

Every day it’s something new, I know it is only because we have only been together a year but jeez, people get engaged after only being together for a few months, and a lot of the time those are the couples that are the happiest and stay together the longest. (In my opinion) Travis has been over the moon and telling pretty much anyone he can, even after a game in the press room, he finds any chance to bring it up, It is definitely the cutest thing to see him blushing on TV.  I even see it all over TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, you name it and it’s there.

We have been getting calls, and texts all day. Some from friends and family others, news networks, talk shows, and everything. It has been crazy. Travis and I are both doing talk shows, not together but a few days apart.

"You think these go together?" Travis has been inside the closet for an hour trying to find an outfit when he goes on Jimmy Fallon tonight.

I look up from where I lay on the bed scrolling through Tiktok, he’s holding a black suit set. “Ohh, that would look so nice, especially with your gold jewelry,” I tell him he gives me a smile in response hanging the outfit on the side for later “You are one amazing woman, you know that?” he smiles at me once more.

We both head downstairs to film a new episode of New Heights with Jason. We settle in the chairs, pull the headphones on, and wait for Jason.

“Hello hello, family!” Jason somewhat yells. I laugh at the face he makes before Travis and Jason get into their announcements and sponsors.

“Now we have two special guests today, my awesome and beautiful wife Kylie and our awesome sister-in-law Y/n!” Jason announces loudly earning a weirded and shocked look from Kylie “Oh my” she mutters smirking at me through the camera, I try to hold in my laughter behind my hand, “gotta love Jason’s enthusiasm” I tell them laughing. We talk about a few topics before Jason brings up the big one “Okay, I waited long enough to bring it up, can we please talk about the proposal?” he asks.

I look to Travis for agreement, after a brief nod and encouraging smile “Well It was definitely a surprise I’ll tell you that, we had talked about it and I didn’t expect him to propose a few weeks after that talk.” I laugh. I turn and face Travis “You know it was perfectly timed, as someone who didn't really see themselves getting married, I knew the second we met that she was either gonna be my wife or I would never get married to anyone else unless it was her.” He replies looking at me after. I tried to hide the tears forming in my eyes, I dab under my eyes “I love you so much” I tell him giving him a quick soft kiss.

 We turn to see Jason and Kylie both smiling wide. Jason was sporting the proud big brother look “When Trav came to me and started talking to me about how he was planning all of this, for one, I was shocked cause, for one I’ve never seen him talk so passionately about someone or something as much as his car collection, so It was so cool to see him do that, and two, I was just excited to be able to watch it happen in front of my eyes.” Jason says before turning his attention to Kylie “what did you think?” he asks her. 

She smiles “I for one was kinda just like thank god, he finally asked her and now I have my sister-in-law” she laughs “When Jason told me the plans I was ecstatic, It feels good to see you both happy.” she says in response. We give them both fond smiles “Aww, see and my biggest fear was everyone thinking we were crazy for doing this too soon.” I laugh.

“If I never met you and your family I would have thought the same thing but everyone can clearly see you guys are in love and like Travis said if it feels right then it’s right and you gotta take that chance when It shows itself,” Jason tells us. We talk a bit more and we say goodbye to them.

An hour later

Travis and I are in our closet getting ready to head out for his interview tonight with Jimmy Fallon, Travis wearing the black suit ensemble and me wearing something similar. 

We pull into the studio already seeing paparazzi surrounding the entire sides of the entrance to the studio. I huff trying to mentally prepare for the swarm about to happen, Travis leans over grasping my hand in pulling it towards his face giving the tops of my hands a chaste kiss. “We got this, and always remember I got you, baby,” he reassured me. I nod my head. He leans forward and opens the car door, the camera lights flashing like crazy before it doubles when I also come out of the car, the driver shuts the door and Travis guides me protectively towards the door, pushing back over pushy paparazzi.

We finally make it inside the building and we are met by a studio rep, they guide us to where we need to be. We chill in the studio’s dressing room before we are guided over to the studio’s main stage and seating area. I give Travis a kiss before he heads back and I open the door to where the audience is and where my front-row seat is.

I hear gasps flow throughout the room I look up to see the audience staring at me in shock “Hi everyone” I wave to them shyly. I hear quick responses throughout the room and sit down in my seat where a couple of younger girls are. I give them a smile before I focus my attention on Jimmy walking out onto the stage and sitting behind his desk. “Okay, we are live, in three, two, one” I hear the camera director announce. “Hello everyone, today we have a very special guest, please welcome the man, the chief king and big yeti, Travis Kelce!” he announces theatrically before the crowd starts to yell out and Travis works his way to his seat “Hello hello” he waves to the audience, winking at me, I smile in response. 

They talk a bit about his games, and about the new documentary Jason has made coming out soon. “Okay, now we all know there is something big that needs to be talked about,” Jimmy smirks, Trav laughs rubbing his bearded chin and nodding “Yeah, I have a feeling I know” he laughs. Jimmy laughs “okay we all know you recently proposed to your now fiance Y/n L/n” the crowd starts clapping and hollering as Travis blushes “Yeah, I got her to say yes, thankfully” Travis jokes. Jimmy laughs “okay, so tell us how it happened, how did you do it?” he asks “Well, I had started planning all of it a few months ago and had the ring for a while, and I decided to set up a small park that we always went to and had her favorite flowers scattered on the ground with those tea light candles and then I did it.” he tells them cheesing big. 

The crowd awws and hollers “oh my, well that sounds amazing.” Jimmy compliments, “So of course I have to ask cause everyone was talking about how too soon it was, do you think you did it too soon?” he asks. Travis smiles shaking his head “no, absolutely not, I knew it was the right moment and me and her are big believers in if it feels right take that jump cause we see too many people lose those opportunities and I can’t lose her.” Travis tells them gaining soft coos from the audience.

Jimmy is smiling softly at him “you know, you are so right, and I just want to say congratulations to you and I know you guys are gonna do amazing, I wish I could tell y/n so please if you can pass that for me” Jimmy laughs, Travis nods smiling “actually one second” he hold a finger up before standing up and heading off the stage to the audience and holding his hand out for me to grab.

The crowd starts to yell as Travis guides me towards the seat closest to Jimmy. 

We smile at each other and pull each other into a hug “Oh my god, I can’t believe your here? It’s so cool to see you again.” He tells me I smile “It’s so good to see you too, I mean I’m gonna be here next week so” We laugh and sit down. “This is crazy, So congratulations, how are you feeling?” he asks “Thank you! And very very good, I could not be happier” I smile at him.

We sit and talk a bit more before the show ends and we say our goodbyes to Jimmy, the audience, and the production before we head home.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Like my writing? Buy me a coffee. I would be so grateful!

Taglist:

@whitemanswhore3

@bxdbxtxh15

@cixrosie

@kkrenae

@the-untamed-soul

@calirindo

@armystay89

@hotwheels1108

@awatt31

@bobthe-turmpetman29

@goldenharrysworld

@chimchimmarie

@jmamas92

@itsdesiree86

[callsign-muffin]

Heal Together: Chapter 8 (Bradley 'Rooster Bradshaw fic)

I would like to start off by apologizing for being MIA for god knows how long. Life has been chaotic, to say the least, lots of big events in my family, in my job, and in my relationship. But I'm hoping things have started to calm down and allow for more time for writing and such.

Masterlist + Playlist

Word Count: 2.3k+

You were scrambling trying to find an outfit appropriate for a job interview. It had been nearly 5 years since your last job interview. You switched to travel nursing where you were matched to hospitals by an agency, so the last time you interviewed for a nursing job was your first job out of school. It felt weird wearing business casual to the hospital, it was nerve wracking. You decided since it was around lunch time, you’d try FaceTiming Bradley to get his opinion on your outfit choice of a black pencil skirt and a floral blouse. Though part of you knew his opinion would be positive and this call was more of an ego boost than anything.

His face appeared on the screen upon answering and he propped his phone up on a table so you could see most of his torso. Damn, you could tell he wore that flight suit well.

“What a pleasant surprise!” He beamed, “what’s up, Sweetheart?”

“I need you to look at my outfit for my interview… I haven’t worn business casual since my first job interview out of nursing school like 5-6 years ago.” You explained. 

“I’m sure you look beautiful, let me see.” He said.

You propped your phone up on your kitchen counter and took a step back so he could see your entire outfit.

“I was right!” He exclaimed, “You look absolutely beautiful!”

“Really? Ya sure?” You asked doing a little spin.

He nodded, “Oh yes, you look gorgeous yet professional. I’d definitely hire you.”

“Can you give me a little Outfit of the Day too?” You proposed, “I’ve never seen you in your work clothes.”

“Like an influencer?” He asked.

You giggled, “Exactly like an influencer.”

He stood up from his seat and backed up so that his full body was in the frame, “So… my flight suit is from the Navy, my boots are also from the Navy, my sunglasses are from Ray Ban, and my ability to put together a sentence is from the disgusting amount of caffeine I’ve been drinking since I woke up.”

“Mine too!” You grabbed your Celsius and showed it to him. “Twins!”

“What do ya say we go to the Hard Deck tonight to celebrate your interview?” Bradley proposed.

“But what if it goes terribly?” You asked.

He smiled, “I highly doubt that it will. But if it does, we can celebrate that you’re still a badass fucking nurse.”

You nodded, “Okay, that sounds good.”

“You’re gonna be great,” he said, “any hospital, in any unit, would be so goddamn lucky to have you.”

You sighed, “Thanks Bradley, that means a lot. I gotta head out in a few but I’ll talk to you later.”

Bradley winked, “Go get ‘em, Tiger.”

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

“Did you invite Sexy Nurse to the Hard Deck tonight?” Phoenix greeted Rooster outside of the locker room getting straight to the point.

“She has a name,” he corrected her, “but yes, I did.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “She’s always gonna be Sexy Nurse to me, she and all her little friends. Ya know how I feel about girls in healthcare.”

“I never understood your fixation until I met Y/N.” Bradley chuckled, “But now, I absolutely get it.”

“Something about a woman in scrubs.” Natasha shook her head.

He shrugged, “I dunno, Y/N had a job interview this afternoon and she looks like a dream in business casual too… and shorts and a t-shirt. The girl could make a paper bag look sexy.” 

“Ooooh Rooster, you’re into this girl.” She did a little happy dance.

He blushed a little bit, “Yeah… I am. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this crazy about someone.”

His phone dinged in his pocket, he pulled it out to see a text from Y/N.

Y/N: It went really really well. I’m not sure how many other people they’re interviewing but I vibed really well with the manager. Seems like they have a great unit too. It’ll be a little bit of a drop in pay since I won’t be on a travel contract, but I think I could make it work.

Bradley: I knew you’d be great! That unit would be lucky as fuck to have you.

Y/N: Thanks Bradley, what time should I meet you at the Hard Deck?

Bradley: I will be picking you up at 7:30. 

Y/N: Bradley…

Bradley: Y/N.

Y/N: You don’t have to do that.

Bradley: I know, but I want to.

Y/N: Well alright. I’ll see you at 7:30, Bradshaw :) 

When he pulled up to her apartment in his Bronco, Y/N was already standing out front. She was wearing a short casual cotton sundress with white low top Chuck Taylors. She was an absolute vision. 

“‘Evening, Bradshaw!” She greeted him loudly over the noise of the engine.

“‘Evening Y/L/N!” Bradley jumped out from the driver's side and walked around to open the passenger door, “You look… beautiful, really beautiful.”

Her cheeks flushed and she kissed him on the cheek before climbing into the passenger’s seat.

Bradley looked over at her, “You missed, Sweetheart.”

She giggled, “I did, didn’t I? Climb in and let me right my wrong.”

He did as he was told and Y/N rewarded him with a sweet kiss. 

“Hang on,” She gently wiped his lips with her thumb, “I left some lipstick on ya.”

Rooster chuckled, “Leave it on, wipe it off. I don’t care as long as I get to keep tasting your lips all night.”

She bit her lip, “That can absolutely be arranged.”

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

Bradley held out his hand with a sweet smile as the two of you walked from the parking lot towards the entrance of The Hard Deck.

You sheepishly took it, did he really want to make an entrance like this? You’d only been talking for a few weeks.

“Why do you look so surprised?” He asked.

You try to find the right words, “I’ve just… never had anyone be so… forward about liking me.”

“Well get used to it, Sweetheart.” He gave your hand a small squeeze, “‘Cause I’m gonna be all up in your pretty face.”

He only let go of your hand to open the door of the bar, placing a hand on the small of your back as he guided you in. A beautiful dark haired woman waved to Bradley from behind the bar and gave him a wink.

“Do you know her?” You asked over the music and loud chatter of the bar.

Bradley waved back at her, “That’s Penny, she’s Mav’s girlfriend and she owns this place.”

Before you could reply, you heard familiar voices calling to you.

“Nurse Y/N!” Jake’s southern drawl greeted you excitedly, “Can’t believe you’re still hanging out with Rooster, we thought you’d be bored of him by now.”

“Don’t listen to Bagman, Y/N!” Natasha greeted you with a friendly hug, “We are all thrilled that you’re still around. Bradley’s flying the best he has in a while since you showed up.”

You smirked and looked over at the beautiful mustached man next to you, “Is that so?” 

His cheeks flushed, “Possibly, but even bigger news, Y/N crushed her interview on her dream unit today!”

“That calls for a drink!” Mickey/Fanboy said, “What can I get you guys?”

You thought for a minute, “Tequila soda with lots of lime wedges. Let me know how much I owe you.”

“Oh no,” he chuckled, “All your drinks are on Rooster tonight. I’ll square it away with him.”

Bradley nodded, “Damn right, grab me whatever you’re having, Fanboy.”

“Hey Roo,” Jake passed him a pool cue, “I know you’re flying has been top notch. But I bet ya still suck at pool.”

He barked out a laugh, “You’re so fucking on, Hangman.”

Jake looked around and smirked, “Let’s make things even more interesting… winner gets to dance with the pretty nurse in the sundress.”

Bradley looks over at you, “You okay with that, Sweetheart?”

You gave him a nod, “Beat his ass, Bradshaw.”

You sipped on your second tequila soda of the night, watching the sickeningly close pool game with baited breath. Bradley was stripes and Jake was solids, they each had two balls left on the table. Bradley lined up for a shot and hit the cue ball towards one of his last stripes. Unfortunately, the cue ball bounced off the wall after sinking his stripe in the pocket, hitting the 8 ball into another pocket.

The whole dagger squad let out a roar of disappointment, except for Jake of course.

“MOTHERFUCKER!” Bradley cried out.

“You wanna run away Y/N?” Phoenix nudged you, “We can escape out the back door.”

You shook your head, “Eh, it’s okay. A bet’s a bet. I made my bed and I gotta lie in it.”

“That’s very noble of you, Y/N.” Bob patted you on the back.

Bradley came up to you and planted a big kiss on your lips, “I’m sorry, Sweetheart.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay, you just gotta promise to cut in once the song is over.”

He grinned, “Oh I will be counting down until the very last note.”

“What shall I put on for our dance, m’lady?” Jake asked you with a cheeky wink.

Bradley rolled his eyes, “She actually loves country, Hangman. Maybe playing music she likes will keep her from getting sick all over you.”

You giggled as Jake walked towards the old school jukebox, “You all are children.”

A few moments later, the intro to Neon Moon by Brooks & Dunn started playing.

“Damn it.” You cursed to yourself.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Bradley asked.

You couldn’t help but giggle, “I fucking love this song.”

“It’s a classic.” Jake held out his hand, “May I have this dance?”

You blew a kiss to Bradley before taking Jake’s hand, “Remember our deal, Bradshaw!”

You and Jake two stepped along to the country classic, cracked jokes, and discussed how between the two of you, Bradley would learn to love country music.

“Before Rooster comes over and tears you away, I just want to thank you for taking such good care of him, as his nurse and now as his… lady friend.” Jake said quietly into your ear while also maintaining a respectful distance, “I know I give him a lot of shit and it may not seem like it but… I really care for the guy.”

You looked surprised at his gratefulness, “Of course, Jake. Even when I was just his nurse, it was clear to me that Bradley is a really special person. I feel really lucky to be getting to know him as Bradley the man, not the patient.”

“I have never seen him so starry eyed for someone, Y/N.” Jake added, “You make him really happy.”

You couldn’t help but smile, “He makes me really happy, too.”

As the last few notes finished out the song, Bradley was quickly behind Jake, “Time to go, Seresin. You got your dance.”

“Yes sir,” Jake gave you a cheeky wink as if to say, Don’t you dare tell him all the nice things I just said about him,  “She’s all yours, Roo.”

Bradley switched places with his friend, placing one hand on your waist and holding your hand with the other. You placed your free hand on his shoulder and he pulled you close. You couldn’t hear what song was playing, all you could focus on was his heartbeat.

“That was the worst four minutes of my life.” He grumbled into your ears.

You shrugged, “Not the worst dance I’ve ever had but I’m definitely happier to be back with you.”

He kissed the crown of your head, “Glad to hear it.”

█ ✪ █▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓█ ✪ █

Y/N was a few tequila sodas deep, she wasn’t really drunk at all… just a little tipsy and very giggly. This was a side of her that Bradley hadn’t seen a whole lot of and he was loving it. She was also a little bit more handsy and playful, too. It was as if the liquid courage was allowing her to let her guard down.

“You are so damn pretty.” He mumbled into her neck and kissed it.

She let out a quiet little moan and then froze, realizing what she had just done.

Rooster raised a playful yet questioning eyebrow at her, “Did I find your spot?”

Her cheeks flushed bright red, “Maybe… maybe one of them.”

He took her by the waist and guided her to turn around and face him, “There are more?”

“There are many…” she bit her lip and looked up at him with big doe eyes, making his dick twitch. 

He pulled her in closer, “Tell me all about these spots, Sweetheart.”

She shook her head and whispered in his ear, “But that’ll take away all the fun… you gotta find them yourself, Bradshaw”

And with that, Rooster absolutely melted.

Tag list:

@sarah-bear706318

@dizzybee03

@that-gay-person-27

@alwayshave-faith

@caitsymichelle13

@thespillingvoid

@shanimallina87

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 3 – Rebirthday

I had the appointment. I passed the test. I’ve got the little package that will change everything.

I hold it tight all the way home. Part of me is still angry at my contact for messing with me like that – and the rest is in something like stunned amazement that I actually have it.

Now I’m home. I open it up.

There are two kinds of pills. First there’s antihominidone. That’s the humanity blocker, the one that lets my body change and stops it trying to change back. People transitioning to lots of different species take this one.

Then there’s the other one, the one that does the hard work of actually changing me. ‘Shifterising hormone’, it says on the label – they don’t even have a scientific name for it. There’s a little instruction book with doses – one of each a day – but it doesn’t say a lot about side effects or timelines. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, going DIY – this isn’t stuff you’d get from a doctor, after all. Almost no one’s been through this before. It’s super experimental, and I’m the experiment. The whole process takes two to three years, but what to expect when is pretty vague.

This is when my anxiety kicks in. Experimental treatment? Becoming another species? What am I doing?

I take one of the hormone pills out. It’s a clear capsule full of liquid. I turn it over, and the liquid slowly drops from one end to the other. It’s thick and gooey, which makes sense, since I’m going to be gooey. It looks a bit like the fluid shifters are made of, but without the life of the real thing. How do they make this stuff? Do they distil it from their own bodies or something? It’s not made of dead shifters, is it? Geez, I hope it’s not made of dead shifters. —Nope, nope, not thinking that way. Lots of other things are gooey. It could be anything. It could be literal magic, for all I know.

They’re so secretive, since they don’t want anyone else figuring out how to make it. Maybe I should save some and smuggle it to the other groups who are trying to? No, who am I kidding, this is for me – I’m not wasting a single drop.

Stop. Focus.

Changing species is much bigger than changing gender, but somehow it doesn’t feel quite as scary as that did – because this time, I’ve been through something like this before. I’ve sat here, scared and desperate, staring at pills that might as well be magic, before. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like I ‘changed’ gender at all – I just stopped pretending to be something I wasn’t. Sounds easy. Sounds obvious. Hopefully, one day, I’ll look back and this will feel the same.

I trust myself so much more than I did back then. I was right the first time, and that makes me confident I’m right this time, too.

And my friends and family? We’ve been through the fire together once. The ones who would leave left then – that’s what I tell myself. But I don’t really know how anyone will react to this. That’s a problem for another day.

The first two pills are on the table in front of me. Here goes.

* * *

It’s done. I’ve taken it. I feel all tingly, though surely it can’t be having an effect already. I think that’s just the excitement and the fear and everything.

I call the day I started estrogen ‘Rebirthday’, because that’s how it felt. I never thought I’d have another day like that. Now I have one birthday and two rebirthdays. I am a shifter. Even through all my doubts and fears, I can truly say that now, for the first time. I want to laugh. I want to cry.

I am a shifter. I am me. I know the next few years will be hard, I know there will be pain, but I can’t wait.

This is what I am.

First | Previous | Next

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@aiden-nevada @avery-victoria-winterlight @leahnardo-da-veggie @mint-and-authoress @sandyca5tle

@scrubbinn @therian-lesbian @wuwojiti

[outivv]

— what about your own world? —

Synopsis: they ask what your life was like in your own world

Warnings: ehhh semi angst? Semi fluff? Crying, and Idk if I should put a warning for this- but a single mention of death in sebek’s Part, But, as always not proofread :p

Characters: deuce, idia, Sebek, And malleus

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello!! I’ve been on big idia and Sebek brain rot recently, I may honestly weite another thing for them later too HEVJEEG. Theyre both one my favorites what can I say. Anyways, hope you enjoy!! Have a great rest of your day <3

— Deuce —

“What was your life back… you know… back home?” Deuce asks. You’re supposed to be fetching ingredients for a potion you need to make in class, but deuce has seemed… distant, or maybe distracted, this entire time. Now you know why, of course. “Why do you ask that.” You dont look at him, reaching for a jar full of specific bird feathers, which are very important for this potion. The rows and rows of bookshelves full of jars, full of ingredients, were the only audience to hear your conversation, so you didn’t mind telling him what your life was like, however, you wondered why he would ask such a thing.

He thought for a moment, as you climbed down the ladder you were on, and handed him the jar of feathers. “Well I was just thinking. Cause you’ve been here for almost a whole year, Crowley must be close to finding a way for you to go back home.” Deuce walked down the row of shelves to the next ingredient you needed as he spoke. He’s right, you’ve been here a long while, and Crowley must be close to getting you home by now… (but you’re not too… trusting of that. Despite what Crowley may say.) was deuce worried about you going home?

“Well, even if he does find a way for me to head back home, I’m not so sure I’d take that opportunity.” Deuce whips his head around, almost dropping all the jars He was holding. You quickly put you arms around his own, to secure the jars, giving him a look that screams ‘oh my god- please be more careful’. He looked away embarrassed, “why not?” Referring to what you said before. “Hmm, well, I like my life here. And back home wasn’t all that great so. If I could pursue something here, be happy… keep all my friends, stay with you, then I’d rather do that than be somewhere where I wasn’t… enjoying myself I suppose.” Deuce teared up at that, he can be very dramatic at times… “are you crying?” He quickly turned around hiding his tears as he kept walking “no! Just allergic to whatever is in these jars.” He said in between sniffles. You sighed trailing behind him. If you had any doubts before you certainly don’t now, as it’s clear you can’t leave deuce alone.

— Idia —

Idia is insecure with your… relationship. God he can barely even call it that. He feels like he barely even does anything… why would you put up with him? He’s sure that the moment Crowley found a way for you to go home, that you’d be jumping at the opportunity. He holed himself in his room even more than usual, and you, as his partner, of course noticed. A few days into his depression spiral, Idia heard a familiar knock on his door, followed by a voice, “idia? Can I come in.” It was you, of course. The only people allowed in his room are you and ortho, and ortho doesn’t really knock. “Yeah…” He Said Just loud enough for you to hear.

Upon entering, you could see idia wasn’t even gaming at his desk like usual, instead sitting in his bed, curled up in blankets upon blankets, scrolling on his phone. His room was dark without the light of his computer, you could barely see him, as his hair was mostly hidden in the blanket, and his phone was the only thing illuminating his face. “Idia? What’s wrong.” You said walking over to sit on the edge of his bed. You moved the blanket off from over his head, revealing some of his fiery blue hair, and running your fingers through it. “What was your life like back in your own world.” His cold tone made you widen your eyes. He doesn’t ever take that tone with you, only before your relationship started, and that was mostly because he was so anxious around you, being cold was kinda his default.

“What do you mean?” You tilted your head, And He quickly sat up his blue hair turning bright orange and red, as he screamed “your own world! Your home! When Crowley finds out how to get you back you’ll leave me, because that is your home. That is where you belong!” His words sounded harsh to anyone else, they sounded like he wanted you gone, like he wanted you to leave because you didn’t belong. But that wasn’t the case and you knew it. You could see how small he looked, his blankets open, revealing his shaky hands. Looking up at his face, surrounded by flame, you could see the tears welling in his eyes, his dark circles deeper than usual. Has this been bothering him for the past few days?

“Can I hug you?” You ask, as to not overwhelm him in a very intense moment for him. He nodded, and you slowly wrap your arms around him, he grips onto your jacket, and resting his head on your shoulder, wetting your uniform as tears start flowing. You don’t care about that though. “My life, in my world had It’s ups and downs. I have people there that I miss.” You started and he sobbed, and screamed harder, his mind spiraling, thinking your words confirm all that he’s been feeling, and thinking, the past few days. His hair reflecting his thoughts, as it started burning brighter, wrapping itself around you, but it never hurt, or burned you. “But. I love you more.” You start again, and idia grabs onto your jacket with both hands, one clawing at you back, while the other holds onto your front. He doesn’t want to let you go. “I know that no matter what Crowley finds, if I can’t return to you, then I won’t ever go back to my word.” Your arms wrap around him almost protectively, as he sobs out his feelings that he’s been keeping to himself for the past few days. Except, he knows you won’t leave him.

— Sebek —

Sebek loathes humans, he believes they are weak, and would pity them if he had the time to. But after meeting you, he’s found that humans aren’t weak, magicless or not, you have stopped 6 (almost 7 heh) overblotted students. That is quite a feat that even must admire. “You know [name] may return to their own world eventually right?” Lilia said, snapping Sebek from his thoughts of you. “What?” He furrowed his brows, Lilia cant believe that right? I mean… with the life you’ve built here and all… and with how close you two had become you won’t leave him right? “I’m sure [name] misses their family, friends, you know.” Lilia truthfully brought up this conversation because he wanted to see how Sebek would react.

Lilia knows that Sebek harbors feelings for you, whether sebek wants to admit it to himself or not. Lilia knows he is deep in denial. Sebek Looks down at the lunch table he’s sitting at, pondering. “I must go speak with them.” He suddenly Said, grabbing his bag, and lunch tray, to go search for you. He found you in the courtyard, you usually eat lunch there with grim, deuce, and ace. “Human!” Sebek shouted as he approached your Little group. Ace almost dropped his lunch at Sebek s booming voice, while deuce instantly looked ready to fight if Sebek made a single wrong move. “I need to speak to you. Alone.” He Said staring down at you, a very apparent scowl on his face. You looked at him like how he imagines a small animal looks seconds before death. “Uhh yeah for sure.” You respond, as you grab your bag, and put your lunch away. Leading inside, to a quiet hallway is when he starts asking questions, “are you planning on going back to your own world when Crowley… finds a way back for you…” straight to the Point as always, but you don’t miss the meek tone in his voice. A very sharp contrast from what he was portraying mere seconds ago.

“Uhhh I’m not sure yet, why?” You question, very very confused. Sebek puffs his chest out, almost smug, as he says “no reason. Goodbye now.” And walks away. You stand there absolutely confused out of your mind, and when you return to your friends, you just… sit there… for a moment. Later in the day however you overhear a specific someone talking to another specific someone “I told you [name] wouldn’t be leaving.” Sebek’s booming and prideful voice could be heard even though you were outside the classroom, “well you never specifically said that, but a win is a win I suppose.” Lilia said with a sigh, faking defeat, “but does them considering staying mean that you’ll be asking them out? May solidify their decision to stay here.” Sebek is frozen at Lilia’s words, to which Lilia only laughs. And when you walk into the classroom sebek’s face turns into a deep frown of shame, surprise, and absolute despair, to which you and Lilia absolutely lose it over.

— Malleus —

You cant leave him. You shouldn’t leave him. Malleus wants the one person who he has ever loved this way, to stay by his side, to rule with him, to love him as he loves you. Of course you aren’t… dating… yet, so he doesn’t have any way of telling you these feelings without sounding scary as hell, and Even he knows that. So he expresses it in a… less… obvious way I suppose. “[name]?” He asks, while you’re on one of your late night walks together. Usually he’s rambling on about the gothic architecture of the school, but Today he’s been unusually quiet. Until now of course. “Yes?” You ask, looking over at him where he was already looking right at you.

“What was your life like? Back in your realm, I mean.” He simply asks. You have to think on that for a minute actually, It’s such a strange question that you truthfully didn’t expect from malleus. It’s to the point where you wonder if there’s hidden meaning behind it. “Well, it was good for the most part. I mean… I miss my family, and friends, so that must show how good it was Haha” you say with a sad smile. You really have been feeling homesick these past few days, and malleus’s question kinda sent you over the edge. Before long, tears start falling from your face, malleus stops dead in his tracks to embrace you as soon as he realizes your crying.

He realizes you miss your own life, in your own realm, but He cant help but feel upset, and possessive. He wants you to stay with him, he wants you to love him the way he loves you, he wants to hold you like this forever if that’s what it took to keep you by him. “It’s alright, child of man.” Is the only thing that slips past his lips. He bites his tongue as to hold back all the words he wants to spew, about how he loves you, how you can stay here with him! And how he would miss you ever so dearly if you left… “I’m sure Crowley will find a way back for you.” His mouth grows dry at his own words, and his voice shakes. You look up at him, to see him not looking at you, but straight ahead, tears falling down his face. He wants to scream how much he loves you, how much he wants to protect you, but he can’t. He knew that would break your heart, and his own if he did.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: After Shocks

Summary: The reader is feeling guilty after doubting her parents after the stunt her birth parents pulled. But with her parents going away to film a new project soon, the only solution may be for her to go with them for some much needed bonding...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 11,100ish

Warnings: language, angst, fluff

A/N: This one takes place directly after Long, Long Time!

________

“Y/N.” You felt TJ behind you, his strong arms wrapping around your waist, holding you close. “What do you need right now?”

You smiled to yourself, closing your eyes. For every bad thing that’d happened in your life, you were still amazed at how lucky you were to have found someone that loved you wholly. He was still the one person that you’d never once doubted cared for you, never struggled with sharing the dark parts of your past. 

There were things you’d only told him even, the details behind vague statements to your parents. Yet he stayed and never complained about what being with a person with scars was like. It’d be so much easier for him to have found a normal girl, so much less for him to worry about.

“I probably would have wound up with a not so nice guy if I’d not gone to my parents when I was a teenager. I would have fallen for the first guy that was nice and sweet just so he could get me in bed or worse. I was so fucking starved for attention and love back then. I was so goddamn lonely.”

He squeezed you tighter, tucking his head down so he could burrow his face in your neck, kissing it softly.

“My dad showed me what to look for in a man. My mom too. They taught me how I was supposed to be treated when I was in a relationship.” You opened your eyes, staring out the back window again. “How did I let those assholes make me afraid of my parents? I hate that I pushed them away, TJ. It’s better now but it’s not. I feel so guilty.”

“It’s only been a few days since things got back to normal. Give it some time. Try therapy with them, bring ‘em to a session.”

“Honey, I know exactly what the therapist would say. I had this same conversation when I was in college. I know it’s because I want people to be angry at me when I make a mistake. It’s what I expect. It’s what my childhood taught me, my time in foster care did.”

“Alright,” he said, kissing the side of my head. “So how’d they say to not feel guilty back then?”

“They suggested I spend time with them so I could understand that my guilt had no basis. That they loved me no matter what and that’s what the whole unconditional thing meant. It’s not bad to get afraid. It’s human and we shouldn’t be ashamed of being afraid.”

“So go spend some time with your parents,” he said.

“I spend too much time with them already,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut as he spun you around in his hold. “Other people our age-”

“I don’t give a fuck about other people our age. Our family lives around the corner and frankly, I hope they always do. I love them. I enjoy their company. Honey, I can promise you that having a close, loving family is a good thing. Allie and Colin? They fucking adore their grandparents. They regularly get to see their aunts and uncle. We have amazing family friends they get to grow up with. Those two kids are never, ever, going to doubt they they are loved and supported. You and I could die tomorrow and I know those two will turn out amazing. I promise you, we will never spend too much time with our family.”

“I worry you think I’m too needy sometimes,” you whispered, meeting his gaze. His face was gentle, short black hair still damp from his shower. “But I’ve never doubted you. I just don’t want to put too much on you. I don’t want to take away time that should be yours.”

“Oh you sweet, silly, adorable, idiot,” he chuckled, tucking your hair behind your ear, letting his finger trail down the side of your throat. “We have forever together. I know how lucky I am to spend as much time as I do with you. My job is flexible and only getting more with time. And you? You’re turning set design into a career now. What couple our age gets to spend so much of our time together? Believe me, I’m greedy to be with you as much as I can be but I am more than happy to share you with our family.”

He cupped your cheek, smiling while he gently stroked over your cheekbone. “Give spending some extra time with them a shot for me. Okay, silly goose?”

“Where did I find you?” you whispered, nuzzling into his chest.

“Orientation. I was the boy awkwardly staring at you for so long you asked if I had heatstroke.” You laughed at the memory of him just blank faced, sweating in the boiling summer heat as you stood with your orientation packet and attempted to find your parents in the crowd. You thought he was from out of state with the way he was dripping and offered him some water while finding him some shade to hide beneath. 

By the time he’d gotten his words back, you’d realized he was there on his own. No family to help him move in, find buildings, buy books. It wasn’t a conscious thought back then but you knew that ache of loneliness. Even people who came from homes with parents could feel like they were by themselves. 

“Lucky for me you took pity on me and instead of thinking I was a creeper, you showed me which line to get my packet from and pointed out where buildings were on maps and all of it. I was in love with you before I even knew your name.”

“Thomas,” you said, cheeks flushing. “Don’t be cute when I was feeling crappy five minutes ago.”

“Ah, but that’s my favorite thing to do,” he teased, kissing the tip of your nose. “Now off you go.”

“To where?” you laughed, TJ walking you over to the front door. 

“To your parents, silly. It’s only nine and we both know they don’t sleep until late. Go hang for a bit, talk to them about being together more. Me and my perky butt will be waiting here for you when you get back.”

“Okay, well that’s just cruel to put that image in my mind and then send me away,” you said as he bent down and slipped a pair of sneakers on your feet. He looked up through his lashes, putting on a sultry smile. “TJ! Stop turning me on!”

“Don’t blame me for you being stunning,” he said, rising to his feet and pecking a kiss to your lips. “Drive over for me.”

“Okay,” you said. “What are you planning on doing in the meantime?”

“Check on the munchkins, play a video game, lay in bed in my birthday suit to greet you when you get back.”

“Just don’t scar the children for life,” you laughed, feeling a gentle pat on your ass. TJ ushered you to go when you nearly dragged him towards the bedroom and finally you were out the door. Two minutes later, you were walking into your parents house, the place pretty dark. JJ was at a graduation party and spending the night there. The twins were up in the family room watching an old movie with the lights off, totally engrossed with it. You figured your parents were on their private balcony and headed for their room.

“Oh fuck!” you shouted when you saw way more of your father than you ever wanted to. You quickly slammed the door and stood outside the room, pacing away as you shook your head. “Nope. Nope. Nope. I didn’t see that. I did not see that.”

The door opened after a moment, your mom slipping out in a pair of joggers and a silky black pajama shirt.

“I am so sorry, honey. I thought dad locked the door,” she said as you kept walking, shaking your head. “Are you okay?”

“Was he giving you a fucking naked lap dance?” you said, a coy smile on her face as she shrugged. “Mom!”

“Oh, you’ve seen his ass before when you watched The Boys,” she said.

“I knew that was going to happen! And I saw a whole lot more than just ass,” you said, shivering your whole body as the twins came down from their movie.

“I remember when I walked in on them,” said your brother, wearing a shit eating grin as you groaned. “Dad’s got a huge-”

“I don’t need a reminder!” you said, your dad clearing his throat as he came out in a pair of sweatpants and gray t-shirt. 

“Things going okay out here?” he asked, forcing a smile.

“Talking about your apparently huge dick,” said Arrow. Your mom couldn’t help but laugh as your dad groaned, the twins starting to giggle. “What? It’s the truth.”

“While I normally appreciate how open we are as a family, I mean this in the nicest way, we are never bringing this topic up again,” said your dad with a sigh. “Go finish your movie and for the love of god never talk about this again.”

Your mom was still laughing, earning a small headlock from him. “It’s your fault you didn’t lock the door!”

“Yes, I know,” he groaned, letting her go and standing in front of you with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for scaring you for life, kiddo.”

“It’s fine,” you sighed, crossing your arms. “In terms of traumatizing events, this ranks pretty low for me. Besides, mom told me when I started having sex with TJ about your sex life.”

His head whipped around and she held up her hands. “Hey. She had questions and I answered them.”

“I wouldn’t have told her how big…you know,” he grumbled. 

“I didn’t. I just said above average is nice!”

“As much fun as this conversation is, I’d like to repress this memory if possible so I’m going to let you guys continue with your magic mike moment-”

You heard the twins howl in laughter, your dad storming past you and over towards the stairs.

“You two start high school in the fall and guess what talk we’re having tomorrow?” he said. They both groaned for a moment before you heard noise again, your dad wiping his hand over his face. 

“They both know what sex is,” you said, his eyes wide. “I gave them both the talk like years ago.”

“You did?” they both asked.

“Yeah. I gave it to all of them. It’s a lot easier for big sis to tell you than mom and dad, especially when dad makes talking about sex so freaking awkward,” you said, cocking your head.

“Well, thank you,” he said, nodding once. “And if that’s something you want to discuss, then we can.”

“I’m good. I just enjoy torturing you in return for the trauma I endured tonight,” you said with a smile. Your mom giggled as he pushed you both into the bedroom, closing the door behind himself.

“Well the mood is gone so what’s up?” he asked as you sat very specifically not on the bed and wandered over to the large window out back. You spun on your heels, both of them watching with concerned eyes.

“I…have been feeling guilty about doubting you guys that you’d hurt me like the sperm and egg donor did and…I’d like to try that thing we did when I was younger and spending more time with you guys helped…if that’s cool,” you said, biting your bottom lip. 

“Honey, of course you can hang out with us more often,” said your mom. She wrapped you up in a hug, letting you melt into her. “Dad and I were talking earlier and hoping we could steal some time with you. We missed you.”

“I missed you guys too,” you said, feeling your dad come up behind you and hug you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“You don’t have anything to feel guilty about,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. 

“I know I shouldn’t but I know I hurt you both and that’s something I have to deal with.”

“It hurts more knowing how much you hurt yourself for being human, kiddo,” he said.

“I know how scared you were that I’d stop-“

“You didn’t stop loving us,” he said. “You were afraid and sometimes, your kids get scared. It’s that simple.”

You nodded, enjoying being squished between them, a calm feeling settling in your bones. 

“There she is,” he murmured as he felt you relax. “Better?”

“Yeah,” you said. Your mom tugged you over to the bed, your eyebrows raising.

“It’s clean, I promise.” She slid into her side of the bed, tugging you down in the middle as your dad moved in on your other side. “So we could watch a movie, play a game-“

“Guys,” you said. “It’s okay. You had other plans-“

“And now our plans are to spend time with you,” said your dad, throwing his arm over your shoulders, tucking you into his side. You glanced up, frowning at the deep worry in his eyes. “Honey, you never have to ask us to be with you like you’re some kind of bother. Please know that.”

“You know me,” you said, your mom scooting closer, taking one of your hands in hers. “Can I maybe, I know how this is going to sound-“

“Y/N. Ask like we’re your mom and dad, not strangers,” said your mom. 

“I know that too. I’m a little shaky I guess,” you breathed out, both of them holding your closer. “Can we spend more time together, like one on one? Like make a night or something for us like we did when I was younger? That really helped me back then and TJ thinks it’ll help now too.”

“Knew there was a reason I loved that boy,” said your mom. “Of course we can do that.”

You felt your dad stiffen though, your head turning up. He looked sad, pouting almost. 

“You have to go away for a project soon, don’t you,” you said quietly. 

“Oh no,” said your mom, her hand leaving yours, both of them covering her mouth. “We both have to for two weeks starting on Tuesday. Daddy’s gone for over a month.”

“JJ was going to be in charge and we were going to come home on the weekends but-“

“You have work. I understand.” Still, tears prickled in the corner of your eyes. Why’d you have to be so stupid and push them away for the past month? Now they were both going to be gone.

“Come with us.” Your dad turned your cheek to face him, wiping away a stray droplet before it could fall. “We need to be together again for a little bit. Come to the project with us for two weeks and then you can decide to stay with me or go home with mom but either way you got at least one of us.”

“That’s a long time to be away from Allie and Colin,” you said, biting your bottom lip. “But I know TJ can handle it. I need to talk to him first. I can’t make that kind of decision on my own.”

“We understand. Trust me. Dad and I have had a lot of those conversations over the years.” You already knew TJ would tell you to go and have fun. But you’d never spent more than a few days away from the kids. 

“The little one’s will survive. Give ‘em a call and facetime them everyday and it helps. Believe me, nothing beats a hug from them when you’ve been gone for a few weeks,” said your dad. “They’ve dealt with TJ being gone for a week for work before. They’ll be alright if you choose to go.”

“I know they would. It’s me I don’t know about,” you said, closing your eyes. “Let me talk to TJ and I’ll give you guys an answer in the morning.”

“Whatever you want to do. We can always hang out when we get back too,” he said, kissing your temple. “So can I interest you ladies in a game of Mario Kart?”

Three days later you were walking into an upscale cabin you were sharing with your parents, most of the other cabins at the unique little hotel filled with cast and crew for the movie your parents were making. They were producing it and your dad was starring as the main character. You’d done the set design on it nearly a year prior and while you’d forgotten most of the story, you were excited to see one of your sets in person. Plus you hadn’t seen your dad on a film set in more than a few years and knew seeing him act in person was a rare treat.

After you ditched your bags in the spare bedroom, you changed and met up with your parents for a pre-shoot dinner they were hosting at a restaurant in town with the cast and some of the higher ups. While the dinner was fun, you were tired from traveling all the way to Vancouver all day. You ducked outside to give TJ a quick call but were reluctant to go back inside and have to be social again when you were exhausted.

“Hey,” said a woman around your age if you had to guess, her hair silky and tied back in a loose ponytail, a black floral tank top and jeans on. “You’re Y/N, right?”

“Uh yeah,” you said, offering her a smile. “You’re Cara Micks. You’re playing Maddie. My parents were really glad they managed to get you. Everybody wants you in their stuff after that indie film.”

“One little Oscar nom and suddenly I’m not surviving off ramen in an apartment with four roommates,” she laughed, nodding her head. “I uh, I’m really glad I got this role, even if it’s not what my agent wanted me to pick. Working with your dad is like a dream come true. He has such a good reputation. I know this’ll be a good set.”

“I can guarantee it’ll be one of the best you ever work on,” you said as she wiped off her forehead.

“Plus it’s a good story. You did the set design, right?” she asked. You hummed, her eyes lighting up. “I got to sneak down and see some of the set mock ups earlier today. They look really cool. I’d love to know more about how that kind of stuff works. If that’s okay. People seem to think I know a lot about this business when I’ve really only done a few gigs before.”

“Well, I’ve never been on a set I’ve designed before so I’m right there with you but I’d happily answer any questions. I’ll leave the acting stuff to my dad though. I can barely tell you what a mark is,” you said, Cara smiling as she closed her eyes. “You good to drive?”

“Yeah, just tired. I’ll see you tomorrow though. Maybe we can grab lunch?” she asked.

“Sure,” you said, Cara handing over her phone. You exchanged numbers and watched her drive off as your parents walked out of the restaurant, others trailing out. 

“Ready for bed? We got an early day tomorrow,” said your mom. You hummed and closed your eyes, your dad rubbing your back.

“Come on. Sooner we get back soon you can head to sleep.”

“Oh my god! It’s my basement!” you said, hopping up and down when you walked onto set the next morning. 

“And what a lovely torture basement it is, kiddo,” laughed your dad. You walked around the set, poking at the shelves, surprised they actually put the cobblestone walls in. He nudged you when you ran your hands over it, a proud smile on his face. “It does look good. Appreciate the fact you know an old shack would have cobblestone and not cinder blocks.”

“That was the point,” you said, walking around the space, stopping at the chair in the center of the basement. “They even found the same chair!”

“They do tend to make the sets match what’s designed,” he chuckled, following you around set, hands clasped behind his back. “You should do this full-time. Design.”

“I don’t know,” you said with a shrug, watching him take a seat on the wooden steps. You sat down in the chair across from him, resting your chin in your hands. “TJ has great benefits so it’s not like a fear of having to be self-employed or not getting gigs. I could not work and we’d be perfectly fine.”

“If you have a sense of obligation to stay at the brewery-”

“I know I don’t have to,” you said. “The team does all the real work.”

“So what’s keeping you from giving it a shot? I mean,” he said, leaning back on his elbows, kicking his legs out in front of him, “You’ve got more than a few projects under your belt. You have the resume, connections. You can set your own schedule. Granted, yeah, it’s not going to be every single day and there’ll be long days sometime but you’ve already handled that with two small kids and working another job.”

“I know,” you said, his head cocking as he smiled. 

“So…” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“My brewery job you gave me. And somehow people always know I’m your daughter, even when I use Hanover in projects. I just…if I do this full time people are going to assume I got the job because of my dad and I’ll never know if it’s because I’m good at it or if a director wants to work with you. You know?” He nodded, smirking as he glanced down at the concrete floor. “You know it’s true.”

“Nepotism is a thing in this industry for sure. But I also am a product of that through grandpa and people he knew. Nepotism gets you in the door as a guest and it’s right to acknowledge that. Talent gets you invited to stay at the party long after all the wannabe’s head home.”

“But I didn’t earn it like someone off the street,” you said. He sighed, running his hand through his hair.

“Cold hard truth? No one knew who the fuck you were when you submitted that first portfolio for your first project. Nobody. I know that because I worked with the director of that project after and he had zero clue you’re my kid. He recommended you to other projects before I came along so you did earn it. You’re right. You’ll never know for sure but you shouldn’t stop because of it. You don’t always have to start in last place to be worthy of earning first.”

“But nepotism is basically cheating your way to first,” you said.

“Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes, it’s a kid who is talented who got in on her own and won’t give herself a break to do something she clearly loves because she thinks it was a gift. Even if it was a gift, take it. Life threw enough shit at you. Take the nice crap too.”

You pursed your lips, looking around. “You think I’m good at this?”

“Mom and I didn’t approach you to do this project for shits and giggles. We knew you’d do quality work and sure as shit, you did. There are not a lot of sets on this film. Most scenes take place out in the woods so the pieces we do have, they need to be fucking good. And this room doesn’t even have four walls and it’s scary as hell so yeah, I’d say you’re good at this.” He stood up, holding out his hands. “Come on, let’s go check out the rest of the sets.”

“Has anyone seen Cara today?” asked the director, Dave close to lunchtime. You glanced up from where you sat in your dad’s chair, your mom over at the film tent with the other producers.

“She’s still not here?” asked your dad as he walked off set. They’d been filming for a few hours for his scenes at the police station but those were wrapped up, everyone ready to start in the basement once lunch break was over. “That doesn’t seem like her.”

You pulled out your phone and dialed, getting no answer. You tried a few more times and got more of the same. 

“This fucking kid,” grumbled Dave, leaning back in his seat. “Can someone get over to her hotel room and tell her to get her ass on set? I don’t care if she was nominated for a fucking Oscar. She pulls any diva shit and I’ll kick her out.”

“She said she was tired last night,” you said, several heads turning your direction. “When we left dinner. She looked a little ill too, like sweaty.”

“Well if she’s sick she’s supposed to call in. She better be fucking dying for not giving notice,” said Dave. You raised your eyebrow at him, Dave giving it right back. “I’m not being dramatic. It’s in her contract what she’s supposed to do if she’s sick.”

“Maybe so but a little common decency doesn’t hurt. You shouldn’t wish for someone to be ‘fucking dying’ because they’re not at work on time,” you shot back. You could feel the eyes on you, most of the nearby crew watching you. 

To your surprise Dave nodded, his face relaxing. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Let’s have someone get over to her place and see what’s going on.”

People dispersed for lunch, your parents holding hands as they stopped at the chair and your dad grabbed his phone.

“Sorry I did that,” you said as you stood. They shared a smile, your dad tucking you under his shoulders as you walked out of the studio.

“We’re not,” said your mom, tilting her head up to your dad. “Remember when she used to be scared of men?”

“You wouldn’t know it with that little display,” he said, squeezing your shoulder. “And you think you’re riding off my reputation in this business. Think again, tall munchkin. Things like that are why people want to work with you.”

“I could have done it privately,” you said with a shrug.

“Don’t take shit on a set. We both did,” said your mom. “It’s nice to know you won’t.”

“Well, what’s the worst that’ll happen? I get fired? So what,” you said. 

“We did good,” said your dad, releasing you to high-five your mom. You rolled your eyes and walked ahead, turning around to walk backwards.

“Excuse me but I did good. Y’all were just like…there,” you said, smirking. Both their faces fell and you sighed, stopping in your tracks. “Oh my god, it was a joke! Guys. You two driving me insane as a teenager was incredibly helpful. You definitely did good. Promise.”

“Well,” said your mom with a smile, “It was a team effort.”

“It was,” you said, your dad biting his bottom lip. You spun around and smiled. “It didn’t hurt having a good guy want to be my dad. He set the bar high so I don’t accept shit. I appreciate that.”

You glanced over your shoulder and caught him smiling off to the side, his cheeks a hot pink.

“Dad are you blushing?” you teased. He snapped his attention to you and rolled his eyes, failing to keep his lips from curling up. 

“God no. I don’t blush,” he scoffed. 

“Sure you don’t,” you said, smiling as you headed for the catering tent. “I forgot you’re a super tough manly man.”

“Damn straight I am,” he said. You shook your head and got in line, looking up when you felt him by your side. “You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

“Dad-” you said quietly as you both stepped forward. 

“Your parents hurt us, they hurt you. You didn’t do anything to us. I wouldn’t be strong enough to risk getting hurt by another set of parents let alone believe they love me. I’d be terrified. You’ve always been the strong one in this family, kiddo. You don’t have to say nice things to make me feel better.”

You shook your head, smiling when you looked down. “I don’t say things to you to make you feel better, dad. You or mom. I only say what I believe and genuinely, you made me know what to expect out of men and if they don’t deliver, I’ll let them know about it. I’m not blowing smoke up your ass.”

He smirked, nodding to himself. “You stopped feeling guilty before we even got out here, didn’t you.”

“What can I say? You guys give good pep talks,” you said, feeling your mom hug your waist from behind. “It’s still cool that I came out though right?”

“Don’t ask dumb questions, kiddo,” he chuckled. “Let’s get some lunch and hopefully Cara will be back by then.”

“We have a big problem,” said Dave, stopping by your lunch table about twenty minutes later. Your parents left, leaving the rest of you wondering what was going on. When your lunch break was up, people headed back to their various departments, your dad appearing out of nowhere and giving you a strange look.

“What’s wrong?” you asked.

“Cara has food poisoning it sounds like. The PA that went over found her vomiting. She’s taking her to the hospital to get some fluids in her. Hopefully she’s feeling better later.”

“Oh. Well that’s good,” you said, that strange look still there. “Dad…”

“Technically the scenes we need to film this afternoon are all my coverage. Since Cara’s stunts don’t start until next week, her stunt double and stand in aren’t here yet. But you may have noticed you and Cara share a certain-”

“You want me to fucking double for Cara Micks? Me?” you asked as he smiled.

“You guys are the same height, size. Your hair’s almost the exact same. Literally all you have to do is put on some clothes, sit in a chair with some make up on and make sounds like you’re scared. It’s not going to be hard at all.” You stared at him, his eyes searching yours. “I promise it’s as easy as-”

You crossed your arms and glanced down, kicking at the pavement. “You’re filming the scenes where Ben finds Maddie. Your coverage.”

“Exactly,” he said, voice dropping slightly. “You don’t have to. We can find another woman to I’m sure. I just thought you’re perfect for it already. But you don’t-”

“Dad. It’s not the being a stand in. I don’t mind that,” you said. He cocked his head when you raised yours, sighing deeply. “I’m nervous that…I know that scene. I remember it from the design. Maddie is tied up in a chair in a basement. And I know it’s a film set and it’s safe but…”

You shrugged, smiling wearily.

“House six,” you whispered, his head nodding. “I’m just-”

“I never should have asked,” he said softly. “I’m sorry.” 

“Dad, no,” you said, grabbing his arm before he could go. You tugged him away between some trailers, letting go when you ran your hand through your hair. 

“Tall munchkin, there is no way I would make you do that. I am so sorry I-”

“Stop. Please.” He snapped his lips shut. After a beat you leaned back against a trailer wall, breathing slowly. “Ben’s a cop. House six, that prick was a cop. I need…I don’t know the script that much, only the early parts, if at all. Tell me Ben’s a good guy.”

“He has his rough spots but by the end of the movie, Ben and Maddie are basically father and daughter. It’s a big step for her considering her own father is the one that had her kidnapped and then tried to kill her.” You pursed your lips, his eyes scanning the clouds overhead. “This is going to sound corny as hell but just listen to me for a minute.”

“Okay,” you said as he met your gaze.

“You’re a grown woman. I recognize that and respect it. You can make your own choices, own mistakes, successes. You have a husband and children and I know when you’re in trouble, I’m not the first person you turn to anymore. That’s okay. It’s normal.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and smirked. “But you’re still my little girl. I will always do my best to protect you or I’ll go down swinging in the process. You don’t have to worry about if the character I’m playing is good or bad. I’m your dad. Behind every character is me. And you know me and what I’d do for you.”

You looked away, nodding a few times.

“You don’t have to do this. At all. But understand that I would not allow anything to happen to you if I didn’t believe it was safe. I’ll let you get some bumps and scrapes along the way cause that’s life. But no more scars. Because I told you that night on the road my job is to protect you, that I’ll never hurt you. You know that deep down but you need to hear it out loud sometimes because you get scared.”

You felt him step closer and forced yourself to face him. “What?”

“I will never let anything like what happened in that house happen to you again. Understand?” 

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he smiled, giving you a hug. “Why don’t you go hang out in my trailer for a bit? It’s going to take a little bit to find someone and start filming again.”

“Well,” you said, his eyebrow raising, “You or mom will be nearby the whole time right?”

“Absolutely,” he said. You shrugged and nodded. “You change your mind?”

“I can do it,” you said. “You sure you can?”

“Me?” he laughed. “What do you mean?”

“You gonna be cool with seeing me with fake blood and stuff?” He cocked his head and smirked. 

“Fake blood I can handle,” he said, your mom stopping by the end of the trailer. “She says she good with it.”

“Oh thank you,” she sighed, quickly grabbing your hand and dragging you behind her. “Jensen, you need to change while I get her ready.”

“See you on set, kiddo.”

“Thank you everyone,” called Dave at the end of the day. You stretched out as you stood up from the chair, your dad rubbing your shoulders that had a small ache to them. “That’s a wrap for the day.”

“How you feeling?” asked your dad, massaging the muscles with my force, the ache soothing away.

“That helps,” you said, Dave coming over to you. 

“I really do appreciate you filling in for us today, Y/N,” he said. 

“It’s no problem. I didn’t have to do much,” you said.

“Well thanks anyways, and for calling me out earlier. I want this to be a fun set.”

“I think I figured that out when dad started carrying me out of the scene upside down,” you laughed, your dad chuckling. “How’s Cara feeling?”

Dave shared a look with your dad, his hands falling away from you. “She still at the hospital?”

“Appendicitis. It fucking popped this afternoon.”

“Shit,” said your dad. “That’s bad.”

“She was being prepped for surgery when it happened, which was good, I guess. They were able to go in fast and clean her up. I was going to drop by in a bit and check up on her.”

“Dee and I’ll go too. Her parents know?”

“On the way but Florida’s pretty far. They won’t be here until around midnight. I’ll see you guys there,” he said when he got pulled away by another producer.

“Can I go?” you asked. 

“Sure. Let’s stop by hair and makeup so they can clean you up first.”

The Next Morning

“What do you think they’re going to do?” said the key grip as everyone ate breakfast together. Cara was doing better but she was on strong antibiotics so she didn’t get an infection and her surgery had been more invasive than if her appendix hadn’t burst. All in all, it meant she was on bed rest for a few weeks and looking at a full month before she was going to be cleared for work.

Which wouldn’t have been a big problem if your dad didn’t have a project lined up for six weeks from now. 

“There’s no way we can finish on time unless they got in a backfill today,” said Molly, your dad’s PA, slurping down a bowl of oatmeal. “Jensen has two different films he’s supposed to be in once we wrap and they’re big studio ones. No way he’d drop those to finish this late with Cara.”

“Couldn’t they just push until after he does the movies? That’s only a few weeks, really randomly too. He wouldn't be needed every day at those,” you said. The key grip, a very, very tall man named Ivan shook his head.

“Cara’s got a Marvel role she starts prepping for then. By the time both their schedules are free it’s late winter and we can’t film in that, not when the movie takes place in the early fall. So that pushes us back to next summer which a lot of the time means we’re dead in the water.”

“Yup,” said Molly with a sigh. “I liked this job. Your dad’s not a dickhead and I’ve worked with some dickheads before.”

“How hard is it to find another actress though? Couldn’t they call up like the girl that came in second in the auditions?” you asked. They shared a look and you frowned. “I clearly am not in on the gossip.”

“It’s okay. You just got here,” said Molly, slurping up more oatmeal. “Rumor is it took like five months to find someone to play Maddie. No one could pull off the intense moments in the script until they got Cara. It’s an amazing script but damn, the lead actress has to be able to do a fucking lot.”

“What do you mean? How’s that different than any other story?” you asked, Ivan chuckling. “I am so out of the loop.”

“Set designers normally are. We hardly ever see you guys to be fair. But basically Maddie in the story has be vulnerable but funny, a whimpering mess but also frighteningly creepy. Soft but strong. Do a number of fight scenes with grown ass men twice her size. All while running around in the woods most days, freezing her ass off during the many night shoots and being able to not oversell the emotional moments and have it come off as cheesy instead of awesome. It’ll be a miracle to find someone like Cara Micks.”

“Oh. Well that sucks. The movie sounds cool. I really want to see if get made,” you said, your mom ducking into the tent with a smile, waving you over. “I’ll be back guys.”

“Let us know if you find out anything!” said Molly. You gave them a smile and walked out of the tent with your mom, surprised when she was practically jogging away.

“Where are you going?” you laughed, following after, grateful you were in a pair of sneakers and leggings today. She just waved and you followed her into your dad’s trailer, many pairs of eyes on you. Your dad and Dave were there along with the other producers that were on set, the assistant director, the writer and a few other people you didn’t know. “Hi.”

You took the only open seat at the far end of the little couch across from your dad, Dave walking over and squatting down in front of you. “Uh, can someone explain what’s happening?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard we’re a bit fucked without Cara. We can’t film a two lead movie without one of our leads. She’s a hard girl to replace,” said Dave. Your eyes flicked up to your dad, his lips pressed into a thin line. “We would like it if you’d entertain us for a few hours and try to film a few scenes with Jensen. You already did the stand in work yesterday and that was great-”

“I played a barely conscious girl yesterday. I didn’t have to do anything.” You got to your feet and shook your head. “I can’t act let alone replace the girl who almost got an Oscar. I will happily be a stand-in but guys…y’all do realize I’m not related by blood to these guys, right? There is zero chance any acting talent was passed along. I haven’t acted since the fourth grade where I played girl #4. Does that sound like the person you want starring in a freaking movie with him?”

Your dad shrugged. “I think you’re selling yourself short.”

You were wide eyed, mouth dropping. Had he lost his mind?

“You’re very smart. You had a lot of good suggestions during pre-production,” said Dave, taking a seat on the couch. 

“Sets. Sets I get. I have a degree in architecture and so does my husband. I know walls and floors and ceilings. This? I have zero fucking clue about acting.” Dave looked at your parents, slowly returning his gaze back to you. “I can’t do it. I’ll ruin your damn movie.”

“Well we can’t film shit without Cara so let us try for two hours. If you’re as shitty as you say you are, then I have no problem telling you that. Let us try to grab a life preserver before we go down with the ship. That’s all we’re asking,” said Dave. You grumbled, putting your back to the room before sighing.

“Fine. But no one get mad at me when I can’t do it, alright?” you said, turning around with a huff.

“Perfect. Get her a script and in hair and make up. Jensen, we’ll give you twenty minutes to rehearse before we’ll try on set.” You were ushered out of the room and twenty later you were back there with a wad of paper in your hand, wearing the same dirty t-shirt, leggings and sneakers you wore in the basement scene yesterday.

“Why the fuck would you volunteer me for this?” you said the second you were in his trailer, your dad snapping his head up from where he sat on the couch with his own papers. “When have I ever expressed an interest in acting? I look like shit. I’m not a bombshell like Cara Micks. I look like damn roadkill. You are insane for thinking I could pull something like this off. Why, why do you think I can do this? What is wrong with you, dad?”

He looked you up and down, a soft smile on his face. “Stop smiling! I’m pissed!”

“You do realize the qualities Maddie has in the movie are all ones you have, don’t you? You can do it because you have done it. And don’t tell me you can’t act,” he scoffed. You threw up your hands, dropping your papers.

“Of course I can’t fucking act! Why on earth would you think I can?” you said. He walked over in front of you, crossing his arms and staring you down. “What is wrong with you? I can’t-”

“You can act with the best of them.” You could only stare with wide eyes, growing angrier at the smug expression on his face.

“Stop saying that!” you shot back. “Why would you make me do this? I’m going to humiliate myself and you and mom and-”

He started to laugh and you’d had enough. You turned to leave, his hands gently catching your shoulders. You swore your eye was twitching when you faced him, that stupid smile still there.

“Oh, kiddo. I watched you put on a class act for months when you first came to us. Before that? Acted your ass off in those shitty foster homes. Acted your ass off when you put in anonymous calls to get the truly awful ones shut down. Pretended it was all okay to those monsters faces when it was eating you up inside. Even with your birth parents you pretended to be perfect for them.” He got in your face, tilting his head ever so slightly. “You can act and it’s like I told you yesterday. You’re safe here. So trust me to keep you safe and you can act when your damn survival doesn’t depend on it for the first time in your life. Trust me, it’s going to be a hell of a lot easier than the last time you acted.”

You frowned, growling as he leaned back. “Has anyone ever told you how irritating it is that you always have a fucking point?”

“I recall being told once or twice by a certain munchkin,” he chuckled, picking up the papers and handing them over. “Oh and Y/N? You are beautiful, even with that bruised makeup on your face. Believe me.”

“Dad. You have to say that.”

“Hm, no I don’t,” he laughed, taking a seat. “You don’t know how many death glares I’ve handed out over the years. Plus your husband never shuts up about how pretty you are.”

“Don’t make me smile. I’m still annoyed with you,” you said, sitting down at his kitchenette table, fixing your pages. “Do I have to have this memorized?”

“Let’s just practice a few times and go from there.”

Two Weeks Later

It was quiet out. Then again it normally was at two in the morning. You sipped on your thermos of hot coffee while the crew took a short break. You passed it to your dad beside you, the two of you sat in front of a fire in the forest. Above you was a clearing in the sky, so many stars out in the deep wilderness.

“You’re happy.” You glanced to your right, the shadows dancing across his face. 

“Yeah,” you whispered, looking back up at the sky. “It’s so pretty here.”

“I’m really glad I get to do this with you,” he said quietly. 

“Me too.” You took the thermos back from him, taking another sip. You were both quiet, watching the flames in front of you. He wore a long sleeve henley while you were still in your t shirt and leggings. But at least tonight you got to wear his warm flannel between takes. Until he’d give it to you in the scene at least. You set the thermos behind the log where it’d be hidden from view when they turned the cameras back on in a few minutes, catching your dad close his eyes. “Dad. Don’t fall asleep.”

“I’m not sleeping. Just happy.” You hummed, connecting the stars in the sky, trying to find the big dipper. “Kiddo?”

“Yeah?” 

“It’s to the left of that branch.” You spotted him with eyes open, darting around as they made connections.

“I used to sit outside when I was a kid and stare at the stars. No one ever bothered me when I did that,” you said, pointing out the little dipper to him. “Always seemed so peaceful up there.”

“Did you find a little peace down here?” You nodded, laughing quietly. “What’s so funny?”

“You wonder where I get it from,” you said, shaking your head. “You want to be told you’re loved as much as I do.”

“I suppose I do,” he said, the heat of his gaze on you. 

“Yeah, I found my peace down here. Don’t think I ever told him the night of my seventeenth birthday was the first time I slept through the night in a decade. I got my peace a very long time ago, just was afraid of losing it.”

“Afraid anymore?” he whispered. You shook your head, catching Orion far off on the other side of the clearing. 

“No. No one can take my peace away from me ever again.” He shifted closer, letting you rest your head on his shoulder. “This is the longest I’ve ever been away from TJ since we’ve been together.”

He hummed, breathing softly.

“How do you stand being away from mom for weeks at a time?” He crossed his arms, smiling to himself.

“Why do you think I’d fly all night just to see her and you guys for half a day? We know how to make long distance work. Our whole relationship has always had an element of it. But getting a hug when you get home eases that ache that forms.”

“I miss Thomas,” you whispered. 

“You’ll see him and the babies tomorrow,” he said, crew memembers starting to gather back around, eyes fluttering open. “He has a surprise for you.”

“Oh god. What’d he do?” He held up his hands and scooted back over to his mark. You put on puppy dog eyes, a sigh leaving him. 

“He and the kids made you a cake. He misses you too.” You inhaled deeply. “Do you regret-”

“No. I just need a moment with him is all.” You forced a smile and nodded. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Three Weeks Later

“You’re so pretty,” whispered TJ as you exited the bathroom in a pair of pajama shorts and one of his t-shirts. You laughed, pushing back your damp hair before crawling into bed with him. “I can’t believe I’m sleeping with a movie star.”

You slapped his chest, TJ giggling, rolling himself so he rested his chin on your chest. You ran your fingers through his dark strands, TJ inhaling slowly.

“If this was something you wanted to try, you know we’ll figure it out, right?” You smiled, nodding once.

“People said I did good.”

“If you mean your parents bragging about how fucking incredible you did then sure, you did good.” You traced your finger over his cheek, concern growing in his eyes. “You’ve moved on from the brewery and we both know it. You can clearly do this acting thing if you wanted.”

“Thomas,” you sighed. He wrapped his arms under you, giving you a squeeze. “The only reason I did it in the first place was to help. I did it to spend time with my parents. I got to hang out with my dad so much and a lot of the stuff we filmed…I couldn’t have done that with someone else.”

“I have no problem with you not taking your career that direction if you don’t want to do it. But I don’t want you to not try because you do want it and you’re scared. I want you to go after everything you want in life,” he said quietly, tilting his head up, kissing your jaw. “That’s all I want from you.”

“I don’t want it,” you said, closing your eyes. “I want to get into set design full time. Being away for so long, even coming home on the weekend in the middle there…I don’t want to be gone from you guys for that long regularly.”

“I understand, believe me. We missed you too,” he said, giving you another squeeze. “But we’d go with you if you wanted.”

“I know you would,” you murmured, slowly peeling open your eyes to find him with a smile on his lips. “Let’s put it in the maybe someday again category, if it were with my parents. Until then, I am ready to take a few weeks off and spend some time home.”

He nuzzled you and chuckled. “Why not make a vow to not leave this bed? That can easily be arranged.”

“You’re cockier than usual, my sweet boy,” you teased, TJ lifting himself up on his hands, leaning down over you. “Feeling needy?”

“I haven’t slept with my wife in three weeks. I’m fucking needy. Now if the movie star was so kind-” You smacked him with a pillow, TJ putting on a shocked face. “Is this how you hollywood types are?”

“You’re such an ass!” you laughed, hitting him again, TJ plopping all of his weight down straight on top of you. “Thomas!”

A throat cleared in the room, TJ spinning around and in front of you quickly, your dad smirking at you both. “Well I didn’t mean to interrupt this strange…whatever flirting thing this is but I do need to talk to Y/N. It’s kind of important.”

“What’s up?” you asked, shoving a pillow in TJ’s lap to hide the tent in his pants. 

“Your birth parents got wind that you were doing a movie.” You narrowed your eyes as he sighed. “They gave an interview an hour ago. My team is freaking out. I couldn’t care less what they say but-”

“But it could damage your reputation.” 

He was blank faced but you knew it could be turn into a big deal. “I don’t give a shit about mine. But they said you only got set design jobs because I got them for you and I know how much it means to you to make your name on your own. Just don’t look at your phones or go online for a while. I’m going to fix this. I promise.” 

“Is there anything we should do? Or I guess shouldn’t?” asked TJ. 

“I know you two are careful about handing out your numbers but don’t answer any calls-”

“I know how to fix all of this,” you said. You felt both of their eyes on you as you climbed out of bed and tugged on TJ’s hoodie sitting on the bench at the foot of it. You glanced back at TJ and then to your dad.

“You want me to release that video. The security footage from the back porch with your parents,” he said. 

“Yes and no.” You slipped past him and went down the hall to the kitchen, both of them following as you grabbed an empty coffee mug from the cabinet. You set it under the coffee machine and after a moment it was churning, the pair of them looking very confused. “On a scale of one to ten, how much will your team freak out if you don’t say anything for like…twelve hours?”

“Considering this is the most controversial thing that’s ever happened to me, probably like a fifty. Why? You’re thinking of something,” he said.

“Like I said, I know how to fix this. But I need time and a few other things.”

“This isn’t your mess to fix,” he said. “I’ll release the video with a statement or-”

“Or…you can give me what I need and I can guarantee anyone with a brain who thinks you and mom manipulated me will change their minds.” You could tell he didn’t want to have to get you involved. He knew how much they’d hurt you. All he wanted to do was protect you from them ever doing that again.

“Give her a chance, Jensen,” said TJ, getting out another mug for himself. “I know my wife. If she has an idea, let’s give it a shot.”

You stepped forward and stood in front of him, his lips pressed into a thin line. “It’s your choice, dad. We can do whatever you and your team want. I just feel like if I said something first it’d mean more. I really need you trust me with this if you-”

“What do you need?” he asked, a small smile on his lips. You nodded, inhaling deeply and grabbing the pad of paper and a pen from nearby.

“You instagram password to start.” He jotted it down, giving you a look to not do anything stupid with his account. “I also need the login to the cloud account with the video backup at the house.”

“I can send you the video of your parents directly. It’ll be easier than-”

“Dad. Just give me the login.” He wrote down more on the pad, his eyes concerned now. “How far back does it go?”

“Since we had the house. What-”

“Is it just video or audio too?”

“Both…I’m pretty sure the security company compresses the files.” You hummed, grabbing the paper and picking up your mug, heading for your home office.

“Uh, is there anything we can do?” asked TJ. You spun around and took a sip of coffee.

“Keep the coffee coming and dad, tell your team you need to discuss with your family and you’ll have a statement out by the morning. Otherwise, do not disturb me.”

You slipped away into your office, leaning back against it. 

“This is gonna be a long night.”

Twelve Hours Later

You yawned as you exited your office, quickly making your way down to the bedroom and plopping down next to a sleeping TJ. You were asleep in an instant and woke up a few hours later at noon to TJ shoving on your shoulder.

You were pretty sure you growled at him but he knew how tired you were after the jet lag and staying up a full day. But you needed to try to get your schedule back on track so you reluctantly let him pull you up to sitting.

“You’re on CNN! Come look!” he said. You shook your head, TJ hoisting you up, carrying you bridal style into the family room where what looked like your entire family sat watch the news.

And there was your face from the video you’d made in the middle of the night smack dab in the middle of the screen. TJ set you down as heads turned, your mom rushing over and hugging you.

“How did you make that so fast? How…you didn’t have to share those things, honey,” she said, holding on tight. 

“I just wanted people to know the difference between a bad parent and a good one,” you said, surprised to find your dad missing. “Is dad mad? I know I put a lot of private moments in and things he’d probably wished had stayed a secret.”

You spotted him come out of the hallway where the half-bath was, his face neutral. He was mad. Of course he was mad. You’d been sleep deprived when you put that video together. You fucked it up. You should have just let him handle it so you didn’t make it worse.

“Dad, I’m sorry. I should have…” you trailed off when he held up his finger and stepped in front of you. He looked you up and down and nodded a few times. “I’m sorry.”

“You make a video telling the world how miserable you used to be, about some of the bad things foster parents did and calling them out by name, about how mom and I changed your life, about how I…” he clamped his mouth shut, glancing away with a scrunched up face. You swore his bottom lip wobbled and smiled, watching him put his back to your siblings who were all watching intently. 

“Was it the part about you being the only real dad I’ve ever had that got you or how I called you a good man that anyone would be lucky enough to have in their life?”

“Goddammit, Y/N,” he said, wiping off his face, keeping his head turned away. “It’s one thing when we say that shit in private but you had to say it to everyone?”

“Yeah because everyone should know. Those assholes tried to fuck with you. My whole life assholes fucked with me and now they tried to do it to someone I love. I’m not letting that shit go anymore. So fuck my birth parents and fuck my other foster parents. If people find out that you’re a good person in the process then that’s a bonus to me.”

He sighed, forcing himself to turn around, a sad smile on his face. “I just wish you hadn’t felt forced to share those things.”

“I didn’t,” you said, his eyes widening ever so slightly in surprise. “All I wanted to do was send a message to those people that they can’t hurt me anymore. I’m sorry if I royally screwed stuff up for you or violated your privacy. I just wanted them to leave us alone from now on.”

“You didn’t, sweetie,” said your mom, tucking you into her side, your dad nodding, easing a bit. He cleared his throat and ruffled your hair, his smile relaxed now. 

“You with me for a second,” he said. You followed him down the hall to your room, frowning when you were alone.

“Dad I really am-” He pressed a finger to your lips shushing you, fixing your hair behind your ears.

“Do you remember after the accident when I couldn’t take showers and there was that time you helped me wash my hair?” You nodded as he fixed your part, smiling to himself. “I realized something that day.”

“What?” you asked quietly. He rested his hands on your shoulders, breathing slowly.

“You’re a good person too,” he said softly. You cocked your head, a sliver of a chuckle slipping past his lips. “I knew before then but in that moment, when you with one arm in a sling offered to help me, I just knew I was damn lucky I wound up with a kid like you.”

“You were hurt and I helped…how does that make me a good person for doing what I should have in the first place?”

“Welcome to life in my head the past three hours while everyone in my life tells me how amazing I am when all I did with you was what I was supposed to.” 

“Well…” you groaned, stomping your foot. “How do you always do that! Every single time you turn it around on me. It’s not fair!”

“I’ve been playing the game longer than you have,” he chuckled, picking up a hair tie off your dresser and bunching up your hair. “Something I learned with your youngest sister is if you start braiding their hair, then you have a captive audience so you can get out of them whatever intel you need.”

You raised your eyebrow at him as he started to work the hair together, ignoring your face. “And what intel are you looking to get out of me?”

“Just sharing a parenting tip,” he chuckled. “You? You I think I have a pretty good idea of where we stand.”

“Oh you do, huh?” You glanced down, annoyed at the fact he could do a far better fishtail braid than you ever had. He slipped the tie off his wrist, twisting it in place a few times before humming.

“Yeah. I mean, I’m apparently the best dad that ever existed so…” he said, chuckling when you lightly punched his arm. 

“You’re just…” you trailed off with a shrug, a smile on his face. “Are you mad? About me showing all those videos of us from home over the years?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Honestly, I loved it. Made me cry like a baby but I loved it. I know you’re pretty damn selective about who you let in but I’m glad I made the cut.”

“Yeah, well, you’re alright for an old guy.” You smirked, getting one in return. “I love you?”

“Yeah you’re lucky I’m still in a good mood,” he said, cocking his head. “Want to know why you’re on the news?”

“Because you’re oh so famous,” you said dramatically, his eyes narrowing. “You so want to give me a noogie, don’t you.”

“The desire is strong,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back. “In news surprising no one, your birth parents were keeping more secrets. Apparently they stole money from their shady employer. A lot of money. Which then the attempt on their lives were made. They were never in witness protection. They were working a deal with the government. Go undercover and they wouldn’t be arrested for partaking in those shady deals themselves. They took the deal and ran. Feds lost them a long, long time ago. You were only supposed to be in foster care a few weeks. But when those dummies got money hungry…they seem to have forgotten they’re fugitives. Pretty interesting have people like that call me the manipulator huh?”

You parted your lips, holding up a hand. “Did they arrest them?”

“It was in process on the news when you came out,” he said as you stood and headed for the door.

“Oh, I want to see this.”

“Knock knock,” said your dad that evening as you lay in bed, ready for a full night’s sleep. “Need anything before we head out?”

“I’ll take a hug,” you said as you sat up. 

“Those I’m an expert on.” He walked over and sat on the edge of the mattress, giving a big squeezing one. “Get some rest. You had a long day.”

“So many phone calls. On the plus side my birth parents were arrested, the DA is looking into most of my old foster parents and you gained like a couple hundred thousand followers in like twelve hours. You can tell your PR team thank you.”

“She’s so modest and humble,” he teased, kissing your temple. “Tomorrow will be better. We’ll do breakfast burritos like a normal Sunday. How’s that sound?”

You hummed, closing your eyes. “Can you do one more thing before you go?”

“Shoot,” he said quietly.

“Can you go in my closet and get rid of the duffel bag with the files in it?” He leaned back, letting you lay back against your pillows. “I think it’s time for it to go. I don’t need it anymore.”

He smiled and stood up. “Okay then. Mind if I hang onto it?”

“Do as you please,” you said, closing your eyes. 

“You sure you don’t need these papers anymore?” he asked.

“I have my letters from you. That’s all I ever needed,” you said, shuffling the background. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, tall munchkin,” he said, tugging your blankets up. “You realize the studio wants us to make another movie together after this, don’t you?”

“It’s gotta be at a resort or no deal,” you said. He chuckled, quietly opening the door. “You can negotiate that right?”

“We’ll see,” he said. The room grew quiet for a beat before you heard his heavy exhale. “I’m really glad I managed to prove you wrong about trusting me. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to.”

“You’re annoyingly relentless like that,” you said, turning on your side, tucking your covers up. “Love you.”

“Love you back. Sleep tight, kiddo.”

__________

[clappingandcheering]

(Percy Jackson x reader)  

Enemies to Lovers?

Warnings: Betrayal? Angst-ish?

760 words and my 2nd story, so yeah!

To Percy, your face was not a new one. In the sense that he’d seen you around camp. Always staring but never approaching; honestly, to him, you were a little creepy. 

During Percy’s first week of school, he’d come to notice your gaze always lingering over him, when he got claimed, whenever he trained, even while he ate at his table. After he had noticed you, it was hard to look away, he’d watch you pick strawberries or work with satyr’s in the garden or with their search for a pan, however, no matter where she had gone off to, there was always another familiar face around her—Luke Castellan, The only reason he started noticing you was because you never cheered him on like the others did; you were always just watching from afar. judging maybe?

As Percy’s quest started to come to a close, her presence in his life had grown, and she was proving to be a larger threat than he had predicted. 

The two were face-to-face on a beach. Percy had the waves of the ocean on standby while he waited for her first moves. She was standing a safe distance from him with a calm, blank expression; she didn’t look like she wanted to fight, but it wasn’t likely she would stand down if one were to break out.

“Did Mr. D or Chiron send you? He called out secretly, praying to all the gods that was the case, even though deep down he sure as hell knew who had sent him.

"No,” she replied hesitantly, knowing she could never explain what had happened.

“Who sent you then...” He already knew—deep down he didn’t even need to ask, but he still needed to make sure that what was happening was real and not another one of those haunting dreams.

“Kronos…” She didn’t look ashamed or even regretful as she spoke. How could she stand in front of him and say she was betraying him with such ease? What about camp or her friends?

“Why?No, I don’t need a reason; just come back to camp; I won’t tell anyone—you know he’s just going to kill you anyway! You can’t trust him!” He started sputtering different reasons for her to stay at camp, making a desperate attempt to keep her on God's side.

“I can't; I’ve chosen who I want to fight for; you should do the same. Percy, come with Luke and me; you’re powerful—there’s no doubt about that; we could use someone like you." She had a hopeful, almost peaceful expression while she spoke about one of creating one of the most disgraceful acts, betraying people who took him in and took care of him. 

The thing that hurt a lot more than he had expected was the fact that he considered it; Camp Half Blood had taken him in and helped him while his mother was missing, yet he actually considered betraying them. 

“I’d never join you. Kronos is a Titan!” He lowered the waves and took small steps forward, still remaining a safe distance away. “Y/n Kronos will kill you; you know this is wrong; just come back to camp half blood with me.”

She had stayed still the entire time he moved forward, no flinching, no shift in facial expression, nothing. 

“I like you, Percy; you’re a nice person, and maybe if you join Kronos camp, half your blood will be spared and you will finally realise fighting Kronos is hopeless!” She was now approaching him? Was she going to attack? What’s she doing?

He took a few steps back when she had come so close that she was now grabbing his wrist. His heart raced; he had let her get this close without fighting back or saying anything; he let her grab his wrist—and still, as he realised all this, she didn’t move.

“I can’t…I can’t betray my friends—my dad!

"Don't give me that shit; your dad hasn’t been there for you! How can you have his back when you don’t even know him!? Have you even met him yet!?”

He was silent for a moment before he tore his wrist back from grip and stepped back, his gaze shifting into one of hurt. 

“My dad gave me the pearls that helped save my mum; he was the reason my friends and I could get back from the underground! He has helped me!”

She sighed and then turned, walking back a few paces before turning and drawing her sword. “Then you have forced my hand, Percy.”

[dinodogs]

Well

I’m sorry for not being around too much anymore. I’ve been in the worst state of my entire life these past months. I’ve contemplated suicide a few times. But thats not where this is going, I promise. 

Truth be told, my mental state has been on a steady decline since May. But this last month has truly been the worst of my entire life, I lost my apartment, had to live in my car in 102 degree weather for a while, and then move back into an abusive household where I am constantly deadnamed and misgendered. I lost my partner because I wasn’t in a mental state to keep up a relationship. I lost most of my belongings. I lost a lot of my friends. And I’ve lost my ability to draw. 

Along with all this I’ve had the worst carpal tunnel flare up of my entire life, its so agonizing I can’t even put it into words. I don’t have the funds to see a doctor and even if I did I doubt I’d have funds for treatment. Between this and my mental state tanking, I can’t call myself an artist anymore. I’m sorry

I’ve tried my best to respond to messages, and I’ve refunded people who needed it with some help from my best friend. But I’m sorry, any commissions will not be completed. I tried to power through it all, I really did, but I can’t do that anymore. I can’t keep acting like I’m fine and trying to make things work. 

I’m sorry to everyone who relied on me, I’m sorry to everyone who enjoyed my content, and I’m sorry to anyone who might’ve looked up on me. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, I can barely get out of bed, I can barely feed myself or shower or do anything to take care of myself. 

I’m really thankful to everyone I’ve met along the way, thank you all for the support and the love I’ve been shown. If anyone needs to contact me, please do so through @grimmgrinningghouls .He’s the last life line I have left and my best friend in the whole world, he can relay anything to me. 

And with that, this is goodbye. I really hope this isn’t goodbye permanently, I hope I can come back one day and keep drawing dragons and whiterose and posting about rwby. But until then, its been wonderful, and I’ll see you all another day. 

I'll try and queue this to reblog a few times so anyone who needs to see this will, but other then that, this account is effectively dead.

[yumimak]

Fourth Times the Charm - Prolouge

Hey guys! So I had this idea for an angsty Neteyam story that was a mix of like ‘one sided’ enemies to lovers but also grumpy/sunshine without making Neteyam a total butthole. I think this prologue gives a good idea of how I am going to do that, I really hope you enjoy!

Please read the A/N at the end if you are intrested!!

Neteyam

Finding a mate was something most Na’vi looked forward to. Traditionally, it was the first step that was taken after passing the rites of passage. That special bond was desired and sought out by almost everybody.

I, for one, was never really one of these people.

I was one of the youngest people to pass their Iknimaya and was the youngest to become a warrior in our clan. My father was Olo’eyktan and some day I would be too.

Knowing this, the idea of finding a mate never really interested me past the age of 10. From a young age I’ve been very aware of the possible threats posed against our clan. So from that age I decided that I would put all my energy towards being the best warrior and future leader I could be.

I believe it was a good choice on my part. After all those years I’d become the esteemed warrior I’d always wanted to be. Through it all my clan stayed safe and I’ve always had my family by my side.

What more could I ever want or need? What more fulfillment would a woman give that I had not given myself?

Sadly, my logic did not align with the tradition of being a future leader. Because where there was an Olo’eyktan there would always be a Tsahik. So although I was okay with not finding a mate, the lack of having a future Tsahik was starting to concern much of the clan, especially my parents.

My mother and my father had one of the best love stories I have ever heard in my life. They knew how great the right bond could be and it was evident they wanted me to find my mate so I could be as happy as they are. They saw how hard I worked to be the warrior I am today, there was no doubting my skills or capability of being Olo’eyktan someday. So now all they wanted was for me to settle down and find my Tsahik.

They never forced me though, only making a few comments here and there. They tried to be understanding, telling themselves I was just taking my own path and would eventually find a woman in the clan that I’d want to be with. But on the other hand, it was traditional to be mated by the age of 21 so when I had yet to show interest in finding a mate of my own at 18, they began arranging women for me to court. 

I know that it was their last resort, they had never really liked the idea of forcing mates together since they knew first hand how powerful a bond was when you truly loved the other. I think that’s why they never forced me to actually bond with any of the women permanently. I think the plan was to encourage the idea of how great having a mate could be.

Their plan failed.

In one year I went through three arranged courtships, each possible mate worse than the one before.

There was Tallulah, Lì'ee, and Aìyana.

Tallulah was picked from our clan and our courtship lasted a mere three weeks. She was a year younger than me but I had known her my entire life seeing as she was a good friend of Kiri’s. She was intelligent, beautiful, and a talented forager. They were great traits for a Tsahik to have which is why I think my parents picked her. Although I admired her for all of those things, I could not for the life of me see her as more than my little sister’s friend.

Luckily Tallulah didn’t take me ending the courtship too roughly. She understood and simply hoped the two of us could still stay cordial. There were no hard feelings; her and Kiri remained friends, and Tallulah and I never had any animosity towards each other.

I wish I could say the next two ended the same.

Lì'ee was a young woman from a nearby clan in the forest. She was the oldest child of the Olo’eyktan, and although whoever she mated with would become the next Olo’eyktan, she couldn’t seem to find a mate.

That should have been an instant red flag to my parents.

Lì'ee and I’s courtship lasted three months and it started off great. She was very sweet and caring, raised to be an amazing Tsahik. I could see myself building a future with her, until we hit the three month mark. By then I began to understand why nobody had wanted to court her.

She was atrociously needy and practically demanded all my attention. It didn’t matter if I was with my family or friends, or even out on a hunt. If I was not by her side 24/7 I would come back to her upset or even crying. I had tried to comply with her needs, reducing my personal and even family time to be with her, but it was never enough.

On top of all of that she had absolutely no backbone. Yes, she was sweet as could be and it was lovely, but that was all she was. She couldn’t stand up for herself at all whether in a social setting or out in the wild. I swear Tuk was mentally stronger than Lì'ee even at her young age.

Yet, I put up with all of these flaws hoping one day I would get used to it or she would grow the fuck up. That never happened, and somehow it got worse.

I was never intimate with Lì'ee. Maybe a kiss on the cheek or the back of the hand but that was all. It never felt right to do anything more with her but she could not respect that. She constantly begged for more, to be intimate even when I stated I had not wanted to be. My last straw was when I overheard her speaking to a group of girls about our ‘amazing sex life’ that never was.

I never desired to be rude to the girl at any point, and I in no way wanted to ruin her pure reputation by telling her lies. So I kept her actions a secret from all, even my parents asked why I ended our courtship. To them I was just being picky.

Lastly, and worst of all, there was Aìyana.

When choosing my next possible mate they decided to look further than our clan and other forest clans all together. Aìyana was the daughter of Öyatx, an Olo’eyktan of one of the Ash clans.

The ash people were located high in the mountains where the forest ended far from the Omaticaya. They were mighty, composed of the strongest warriors of Pandora. An impenetrable force for any enemy who even thought of going against them.

Though they were so strong, they were also some of the most peaceful Na’vi to walk our land. They never exerted their strength unless absolutely necessary. When I met Aìyana it had been decades since their clan had seen a war.

My parents knew this which is why I think they were so quick to introduce us and begin our courtship, because if we mated our clan would be forever connected to the ash people. I would find my mate and the clan would have the fiercest warriors of Pandora backing us. 

What could go wrong?

Me not liking her.. that’s what I thought could go wrong. There was no way I could reject the daughter of Öyatx without there being major consequences for our people.

Luckily, not liking her was nearly impossible.

I was star-struck the moment Aìyana stepped foot in our clan. Yes, all the women before were beautiful, but nothing compared to her beauty. Her skin was dark blue, closer to a shade of gray than the more vibrant blue I was used to seeing. Her hair, long and soft, was pure white complimenting her glowing freckles beautifully. And then there were her eyes, a shade deep red that I thought I could never get tired of gazing into.

Her physical beauty only scratched the surface of the many layers of Aìyana. We instantly connected in our first conversation. She was oh so funny, with a beautiful smile that could brighten even the gloomiest of days.

She was the first woman I genuinely desired a courtship with.

As time progressed I never lost feelings for her, they only seemed to grow far past the capacity I believed feelings for people could grow. She was the strong warrior I expected her to be considering where she was from, but she was also so sweet and caring. She knew how to be soft and open up about her emotions, but she also knew how to listen when you spoke. She was one of the most understanding people I thought I could ever meet.

I never opened up about my emotions, as I grew up I only ever felt that it was a burden for whoever I decided to tell. But with Aìyana, it was different. She’d insist on me opening up to her when I was obviously obsessed, ensuring I knew I didn’t have to but also promising it was okay for me to open up to her.

I was so nervous the first time I opened up to her, fidgeting with my hands until she took it upon herself to hold them.  Talking to her was like nothing I had ever felt before. She didn’t make fun when I spoke of my hurts, nor did she laugh when a few tears embarrassingly fell from my eyes. It was so relieving that I almost didn’t know what to do with that empty space where my burdens would normally sit. But when she held me that night, I decided to devote that space to her. 

She was the first person I felt truly saw me, the first person I was ever truly intimate with, and the only person I wanted by my side for the rest of my life. I was totally and irrevocably in love with her.

We courted for six months before we decided we wanted to finally mate with one another. It was traditional in arranged courtships for the soon-to-be mated pair to visit the others clan for a celebration of the clans union before having another celebration in the clan they planned on residing in.

In respect of this tradition, Aìyana, my parents, and I all flew to her clan up in the mountains. It was dark there but very beautiful. Aìyana was quick to show me around and introduce me to all her friends. I was nervous that they would not like me, but they were inviting and I felt as if I fit right in.

A certain part of me was anxious that something would go wrong, but I knew that it was just my nature and that after six months with Aìyana nothing could go wrong.

And nothing did for the first few days, but looking back, I wish I had listened to my gut because things can always go wrong.

- Two years ago -

The night here is so much different than at home. There are much less trees and far more caves up here, it would be much harder to navigate if it wasn’t for the white glow of the moon right now.

Today Aìyana and I did not spend as much time together as usual. It was more of a quality time day for her to be with her family and friends alone before our celebration tomorrow night. 

I spent the day with my family, which was fun, but now since night had fallen I was on my way to Aìyana’s hut where we planned on meeting.

When I arrive though she isn’t there. I brushed it off though, I was early and she hasn’t seen her friends in six months, she wasn’t obliged to rush back to me when after tomorrow she’d be leaving her home to officially become Omaticaya.

Uncomfortable with staying in her hut while she wasn’t there, I decided to take a little walk. Maybe she’d be home by the time I got back. 

My walk is peaceful, by this time most have retired to their huts for the night. I venture into a small bout of trees similar to the forest, exploring more of this foreign area when a laugh catches my attention. It’s a beautiful harmony that I recognize as none other than my Aìyana’s.

I smile, glad to hear she is enjoying her time with her friends, before deciding to continue my walk in the opposing direction. As I turn through another woman's voice stops me in my tracks. “He cried?” she laughs.

“Like a little baby,” Aìyana responds.

My heart sinks, she couldn’t possibly be talking about me.

Another woman speaks next, “So much for mating with a ‘mighty warrior.’ Who would’ve thought Toruk Makto’s son was so soft.”

“Why are you even staying with him?” another asks.

“Well, it would benefit both of our clans. And my dad plans on mating me with someone else anyway, so why not just get it over with instead of wasting a bunch of time picking suitors.”

“Okay but you’ve got to tell us.. how’s he in bed?”

Aìyana sighs deeply, “Amazing in theory, sometimes I’m just not mentally there, it’s whatever. Anyways, speaking of ‘being in bed’ I’ve got to be somewhere before a certain someone comes crying at my doorstep.”

The group laughs bidding Aìyana goodbye, but I can’t help the pang of hurt that I feel in my chest. Especially when one of the girls yells after her, ‘Tell Tavo we said hi!!!’

My heart sinks impossibly deeper in my chest, who the hell was Tavo?

I decided to extend my walk, trying to convince myself that I was making all of this up. But how could I when I’d heard it all with my own two ears.

After prolonging my return to Aìyana’s tent, I decide to finally make my way back. I needed to speak to her about what I had heard. Despite it breaking my heart, another completely delusional part of me believed that we could work past this.

As I arrive at her tent all hope drains from my body though. The sounds from inside the tent burn their way into my ears. The mix of moans between the woman I love and a man that was not me fills me with dread, betrayal, and anger.

A part of me wanted to barge in, embarrass the two and unleash my anger in a way suitable for the Toruk Makto’s son. In a way that would prove to her that I was way too mighty to just sit back and take this.

But the reasonable part of me tells me it’s not worth it. It tells me that although I love her to the moon and back, the extent of her love hardly reached the forest.

-  Present -

That night I went straight to my family hut, holding back the tears that threatened to pour from my eyes as I told my family we were leaving. My parents attempted to argue it but I was persistent so, despite their wishes, we left.

I spent the entirety of the next week sulking alone in my hut. Seeing as nobody had a clue as to why I ended things with Aìyana, everyone was concerned. I just wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

But when Aìyana’s father became infuriated with my impulsive decision to leave and not mate with his daughter, the threat of war knocked at our clan's door. I could tell my father blamed me for this, he was mad that I had ended things and even more upset that I wouldn’t tell anyone why.

That next week Kiri came to my hut in the night. She’d brought me dinner and sat with me as I ate. She didn’t try to force me to speak or anything, she just wanted to know that was okay and that meant the world to me.

That night when she left she gave me a big hug, my first hug since Aìyana. I did the one thing I’d been trying to do at that moment, I broke down like the crybaby I am. 

It was humiliating, crying in my little sister's embrace, but I knew that if I could trust anyone it would be my dearest sister Kiri. So when she pulled away and asked me to talk to her, I did. I told her every event of that wretched night, leaving her stunned and angry.

Before leaving that night Kiri promised she wouldn’t tell a soul of what happened. She did ask me to at least tell our father that Aìyana was unfaithful, she promised he would understand.

Trusting Kiri, I told my dad that I had overheard Aìyana’s betrayal and that’s why I had decided to leave her. To my surprise my father more than understood, he was infuriated. I asked my father not to expose her though because although she had hurt me, I still felt a deep love for the woman.

He agreed but still with two furious Olo’eyktan’s butting heads, war was inevitable.

The almost two year fight was rough and draining for the clan, but when it did finally end, the Omaticaya came out on top.

Grieving my love for Aìyana was rough, but throughout the first year of the war I learned not to crave her, I learned to be alone again, and I had come to love it once more.

By the end of the war I was completely over the woman and what she’d done to me. I was myself again, strong and mighty all around. In pure spite, I gave up on keeping what Aìyana did a secret. 

With the humiliation of a cheating daughter, and having a war that could have been completely avoided if it wasn’t for her. The ash clan, that I am proud to have no more connections with, surrendered.

Now it had been a little over two years since the war had begun, and six months since it had ended.

Everything had been back to normal these past six months and I couldn’t have been happier.

Well, until today when I was told of my fourth arranged courtship.

I thought that I was past this shit, and that Aìyana was the perfect example that nothing good would come from this and that I was better off by myself.

That didn’t matter though because in one week I will be thrown down the rabbit hole again, but luckily this time I know what to expect. And I’d be damned before I got hurt all over again.

- - -

A/N:

Hi guys!! Okay so the reader will be intorduced in the next part! I really hope you are enjoying my story idea so far, I've been absolutly obsessing over the plot in my head. I really wanted to write more angst than my other story Anomaly (which I am still working on promise!) To all my current Anomaly readers, I have tagged you from my taglist from that story here so that you would know about the new story, but if you aren't intrested in being tagged on this one just tell me. :)) Okay okay, it's like three am, i'm going to sleep now. Much love to you all!!- Mak

Taglist:

@cleverzonkwombatsludge @peachycrime @jackiehollanderr @fanboyluvr @killua2dot0 @neteyamsbabymomma @lovedbychoi @aihimitsu @ken-zah @ghostmadeofglass @alfie2401 @awow-2