#maybe another post :3c
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uniquezombiedestiny · 1 year ago
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actually fuck it. i need to ramble more
thinks about the snow queen and bella. ive recently delved into her story and some of the of fairytale (dubious from some webbed site but. yknow lmao) and wound up with lots of think of... based on her ruina dialogue + appearance, the queen like to challenge the brave. in the fairytale, kai and gerda's childike hearts are still there at the end. bella is someone with a kind heart and not much bravery. (really, she polarizes, but her bravery is more around the alternate alone. she can be brave!! but usually and - especially as she declines - she loses that aspect, likely trading it for simple anger, red-shoes-y desire, etc.) she was also forced to grow up - she is still that lonely kid she was years ago. she is still in t-589, still in c-127. she has a lot to learn, still, and to discover.
the snow queen is.. an interesting figure to me when it comes to her relationship with bella. she is cold, silent, only watching bella as she simply speaks into basically nothingness. she may, sometimes, give her a cruel smile. what a childlike, brave little soul; one who chose to bear the cold. one who enjoys her presence.
"kai saw things he didn't need or want to see." / "he felt like what he knew amounted to so little."
to bella, the queen is a respite. friendcorp has shown her so many new things, good and bad. on the bad side, her mental issues have been unraveling. her unhealthy mindset isn't going to work indefinitely like it used to. but, with the snow queen, it's familiar. it's not even that cold anymore, you know? she's long been used to cold, quiet, endless hallways. talking into the silence - like her words are simply carried away by the wind - is a relief, because noone can hear them. for once, she can speak, and there will be no consequences. and if the queen does hear, well, that's alright. she trusts her, now.
the cold isn't so bitter anymore. it's homely. familiar. it's lively, biting into her skin, sending shivers down her spine. she feels real.
and, ofc, i'll talk about her suicide attempt too. especially her own views on it... eventually, it becomes like a knightly duty to her. she must do this to save everyone else - surely, we'll all be happier this way. yes, you'll have to face this loss. but beyond it is a better ending for everyone here. this is the most logical choice... isn't it?
the snow queen gave kai a kiss - one to no longer feel the cold, and one to forget everything. his family, friends, etc etc. that way, he would stay with the snow queen. she would show him the truth of the world - the shattered mirror shards, his knowledge being so little, the mirror of reason.
"what a shame... all your friends who could help you are gone." really, it's like she pities bella and her kind, lonely heart. she pitites most people, i think, like when she laughed at lee during their duel, or gave merry a sickening smile shortly before being frozen. where her heart should be is empty - she is a cold and calculating being.
in ruina, the mirror is surrounded with frozen people, with the throne being the head of the circle. really, both her and bella have done this time and time again. bella has endured loss after loss, leaving entire worlds behind. the snow queen has killed person after person, snuffing flame after flame. her suicidd isn't much different. it's just, this time. it's a calm, slow end. bella puts up no fight or front of bravery, now. she just wants to return to her dreams of a better world. the queen will gladly show her this, in a place made only for themselves, where bella can finally be completely and utterly herself, in all it's flaws, without consequence. with all of her emotions overtaken by freezing cold, she can finally smile.
and she'll be preserved as an angel. she'll look beautiful, perfect, in this ice, like a bug in amber. she will always be the perfect kid.
also, in the og story, the shattered mirror wound up being made into things like glasses and windows. that fits well with bella's glasses. when kai's eye gets a tiny, tiny shard in it, he sees everything as distorted and ugly. but he sees perfection in snowflakes. the snow queen is made of them, the queen to the "snow bees" that are snowflakes. (they're actually described as snow bees in the story!)
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brittlebutch · 2 years ago
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The 'Enjoying watch you suffer' line in Broadcast has always been hard to pin down; Tim's leg getting broken is the biggest incident in Entry #35, so it's natural to want to tie the two together, but it seems to fit so indelicately into what we know about the timeline of totheark's internal relationship that it almost causes more problems than it resolves. However, even though it's very blink and miss it, Tim does actually manage to stab Alex in the arm before he gets knocked down -- we hear Alex cry out in pain, can see blood on the blade when Jay picks it up, and then in the recovered corrupted footage from that tape that Jay posts as Entry #36 Alex says "I did what I had to... he'd just stabbed me" -- and that injury being what totheark was trying to call attention to, to me, reads a lot more clear and consistent than anything else does
#N posts stuff#marble hornets#it's so hard to figure out lol bc Tim's leg is The Thing so it feels like they should be linked but like it just doesn't seem to flow#and the timeline of s2 is so mangled by the mix mash and retreading ground of all the tapes#ie; Present!Jay uploading Past!Jay's (and Past!Alex's) tapes and commenting on them while Present!TTA responds to both#that it's hard to figure out if TTA is still working together in that Present!Time or if it's Only in the old tapes and they fell out like#Immediately after Jay got the code for the safe from them - which is Possible? We do know that Tim and Brian separated#like Right after they'd managed to separate Jay and Jess but IDK if that separation would account for the kind of anger implied in#the sentiment 'enjoying watching you suffer' you know? And Jay doesn't get Tim's medical records until s3 - which we KNOW#is the Final Death Knell in TTA's relationship and i don't think Brian would have sat on those for so long so i feel like he hadn't#found them by this point in s2 - that must have come later. so That makes this line feel so out of place in their relationship#BUT if Brian is paying more attention to Alex than Tim at this point then it makes A Lot more sense if it's directed at him#and since the creators Specifically included that corrupted footage that makes Sure to get 'he stabbed me' clear in audio AND#in Jay's subtitles - I wonder if that's an attempt to draw attention to that injury and maybe clarify the TTA upload a little bit?#OR you know maybe I'm reading into it all too much but hey. with this series that's actually a pretty solid living so#mh lb#i'm rewatching bc i'm about to start giving the Bleed More fic another attempt at getting finished and finalized so. keep an eye out :3c
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angeart · 6 months ago
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mmm found a song with lyrics that fit hhau grian so well.
you're begging me somehow to believe that you could take it if i'd only find a way to let you in but i'd feel like i'm selfish don't know how to help it and so i wonder if you'd be better off without me i'll kill the time 'til you see that i'm nothing more than a lost cause 'cause i've been drowning in the violence bleeding out in silence 'cause i'm nothing more than a lost cause oh, i feel like a lost cause so could you find a way to try to save me now
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e77y · 9 months ago
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Trying to fix my resume ☝️🤓 Small problem: I sound like a loser no matter what
#not really lol. I have a lot of experience in this field#for someone my age anyway#but like. idk 😭 I wanna get out of journalism I HATE journalism#I’m applying for publishing internships and idk I just wish I had more publishing experience….#a lot of my extracurriculars are music related and idk if I should include them or not#just to fill space ig#bc I have only ever had one singular job#and one other piece of experience as editor in chief#idk maybe I just feel this way bc I’m using Harvard resume templates#and so I’m seeing everything that’s on a Harvard student’s resume 😭 like damn. I hope they’re not applying for this internship..#it’s based in NYC so I doubt I’ll get it? but like? idk how many applicants they get??? hm#there are also lots of different internships with the same company all listed rn so idk#I have until the end of the month to fix this shit hehahah#hopefully my cover letter will better demonstrate my relevance to this position#bc all of my journalism experience feels kinda irrelevant on paper. editing news is VERY different from editing communications research lol#ellyposting#🤓posting#<- kinda. it’s about work not school but I did start doing this (researching internships) for a class#and now I’m kinda invested bc I need an internship in the next year anyway… I could get it over with over the summer#idk. if I get a job this summer I will make a job tag like. jobposting. workposting. perhaps hellposting if it sucks really bad (again 🥲)#that’s why I’m scared of another internship. even though the last one was paid and so is this one… people are straight up abusive to interns#😅😅😅😅😅 AUGH. SCREAMS PUNCHES WALL etc#okay goodnight :3c
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sysig · 10 months ago
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Handplates/The Sims 2
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Handplates
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Dream doodles
Thursday:
2:30 PM: The Mouse and the Mermaid
Friday:
2:30 PM: The Sims 2
Saturday:
2:30 PM: The Mouse and the Mermaid/Just Desserts
Sunday:
2:30 PM: Bunnies and piggies
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
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dreamcatchr · 2 years ago
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strange-creature-222 · 11 months ago
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OUUGHHH THIS IS MAKING ME THINK SO MANY THINGS OH MY GOD/POS
@lilywithcatears you should read this pls pls pls
I found myself thinking of Jekyll today and wondering if it causes him physical pain to have to fake a smile. To what extent is Henry Jekyll, pleasant doctor and sophisticated upperclass gentleman a painful mask he has to wear and does the discomfort ever feel physical?
I was at the local aquarium today (this is the perfect time of year to go because it's open but there are no tourists so it's never crowded and admission is cheap) hanging out and doodling on one of the benches while I watched the fish. I had on headphones to listen to an audio book and to provide a buffer between myself and anyone who might try to talk to me and I had been looking forward to relaxing for a couple of hours when a family walked up and the father waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention. The minute they started asking me questions about what I was drawing I was filled with what I can only describe as intense dismay.
Obviously the family being present isn't in of itself an issue, it's a public aquarium, it's aimed at families and parts of the aquarium are geared specifically at children, but the family noticed me drawing and stopped to talk to me.
I reiterate that this was not something they did wrong, they were just being friendly, but I was really not prepared to have a conversation and I found the whole ordeal to be...well an ordeal. They were interested in what I was drawing (a sketch of Henry Jekyll because he's been on my mind off and on) and just the thought of having to explain who this character was, hoping they got it, and having to potentially explain why I was drawing him felt overwhelming.
And it was, they did not know who Henry Jekyll was, they were vaguely aware of Jekyll and Hyde but weren't the type of people to read classic literature and had never heard of the musical or actually seen for themselves any movies featuring the character. The mom commented that he looks like "a Disney villain from back in the 90s" which...fair assessment, I can't pretend I don't see why she would have thought that. The older kid was probably the most interested and wanted to see more of my drawings which made me really uncomfortable but I let him look through my sketchbook anyway because his parents kept saying he was interested in drawing and he loves art and I felt too anxious to say no.
I made small talk with the parents for a while, all the usual, "what's your name, where you from, what's your job?" (I hate those questions, they are usually the least interesting things about any people, myself included) and I wondered if this is what Henry does on a regular day. Has ordinary conversations with reasonably nice people and feel completely like a fish out of water the whole time. I felt pretty terrible about it too, I didn't have any hard feelings or resentment but the whole time I was thinking "Stop touching my things, go away, please fucking leave so I can get back to my audio book and my drawing. I just wanted to sit with the fish for a few hours because it's supposed to be quiet here this time of year."
No one ever seems to catch on that physically talking to people is an effort for me. I've gone my whole life and no one has ever noticed that I'm anxious or uncomfortable in situations where I have to speak out loud because I've gotten good at faking small talk and I know how to make my voice sound pleasant.
It's strange because I express myself easily enough in writing and I like messaging with people over text but the minute I have to be verbal with people I don't know I feel like I'm putting on an immense effort. I have to consciously choose a tone, figure out what words I want to say, be ready with an explanation in case I'm asked questions and I have to do all of it in real time on the spot. It feels like improve, like I'm constantly doing an improve routine and I know most people would say "Just be yourself!" But myself doesn't want to be doing this at all. Myself wants to be drawing and looking at fish. Even as a child I was never very social, I liked to doodle or daydream or build with my lego sets. I got reprimanded a lot for being too quiet. So I made myself more talkative and learned how to hold conversations. I learned to blend in but it's so tiring at times and I can swear when it's at its worst it feels almost physical. The discomfort becomes a suffocating "texture" on my skin and in my brain and I have to keep pretending like I don't notice it because every time I try to articulate how I feel people don't understand it. It's just not a thing they experience.
So I just keep "acting normal," and wonder if there's something wrong with me, like I'm operating on a different frequency from the people around me and I'm the only one on that frequency so other people don't even know it exists. It's...incredibly isolating at times. Even my partner doesn't seem to hear the world as loud as I do or experience the "texture" it's just a strange THING that I'm stuck with by myself. I wonder if it was the same for Henry Jekyll? Except instead being of too quiet he was too loud, too boisterous, threw tantrums, didn't know when to stop rambling about anatomy and weird gross medical facts. So he learned how to cover it and move through life pretending to be interested in everyone else but keenly aware they could never share his interests because his favorite subjects were too grisly and if he started talking about diseases he'd put everyone off. I head-canon Jekyll loves what he does, but he doesn't love it for reasons a doctor should, he doesn't care that much about healing the sick, he cares about conquering illnesses, he likes to learn about symptoms, he enjoys the disgusting viscera of his work. But he can't let on that this is what he enjoys about his work because that's not noble or heroic, it's something most people would find creepy of him. So he buries it and pretends he cares about curing the sick. He pretends he enjoys talking to people who don't know anything about who he is or what he does but they think they do because they are aware of doctors and understand that medicine exists. All the time he loathes it, it exhausts him and he can't even indulge in activities he enjoys to blow of steam because he enjoys things like brawling, doing drugs, and fucking. All things a man of his status shouldn't be seen doing. There's an image people associate with Henry Jekyll and it's an image he can't afford to tarnish...
but it's not really HIS image, it's just a buffer he keeps up to make himself more palatable. I wonder if that ever hurts him physically, if the mask ever feels like a "texture" muffling him.
there are times when I feel like it's no wonder he wasn't repulsed by Hyde when he first saw his reflection. Because I can only imagine by the time Hyde showed up he was already completely burnt out on being Jekyll.
#This is making me relate to Jekyll so hard rn#and op in a way#I'm either too quiet or I open up to someone and then am too vocal#one time when I was younger I started infodumping about about mid evil torture devices to another kid#I have a feeling thats why I haven't been over at their house again lmao#I also relate to loving something others fully understand or ever think about#When I say I want to be a paleontologist people either say “wow that's a big word idk what it means” or “oh yeah dinosaurs are pretty cool!#and yes!! Dinosaurs are cool!! But it's always somewhat clear they're thinking about Jurassic park/world dinosaurs#Giant monster lizards that think of nothing but killing#But I love paleontology because it's about all life we've lost to the sands of time. Dinosaurs weren't like what the movies show us#They killed because they need to to survive. Like many animals that exist today. We apply too much morality to animals who don't know moral#Maybe Henry Jekyll applied too much morality to himself and others#also I like digging in dirt and finding bone :3c#talking feels like a physical effort for me#Unless I'm with someone who knows what I'm genuinely like then it comes easy#I could rant for days about animals people fear but that's off topic lmao rats and snakes and deep sea creatures etc. my beloved#Weird science my beloved#Also I wish I had an aquarium near me I've never been to one They sound amazing#Maybe if Henry Jekyll could go to an aquarium-#creature rambles in someone else's post#casualdejekyll and formaldehyde#Me and one of my close friends were the only people who actually enjoyed dissecting worms and frogs in science class#I was one of few people who liked holding and watching the hissing cockroaches we had to draw scientific sketches of#Ok enough rambling#I would move this all out of tags but that would require quite a bit of editing because my tags don't all flow smoothly together#creatures faves#Creatures faves²
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sanjisleggy · 13 days ago
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imagine being loved by me (sanji x reader) [pt2]
PART 1
a/n: here’s part 2 to ‘welcome to cupid island’ :D yippee! lowkey i wanna turn this into a larger series but i have no idea what i'd wanna add lmao but if people are interested in more of this reader x sanji dynamic i’d be happy to consider :3c imma add a poll at the end of this post to see what’s the reception like. anyway pls enjoy! 
also pls send some zoro requests if u have any, ty :3c
contents: some suggestive themes but nothing explicit (16+ only ty!), jealous sanji, very insecure sanji, angst to fluff, hurt/reverse comfort
wc. 2.25k
wanna be on my taglist?
i. 
he imagines you would have an amazing life.
he imagines after you accept the proposal, you would be transformed into a beautiful queen, both regaled by your countless servants and beloved by your people. he can practically see right in front of him how King Aphr would worship the very ground you walked on, kiss the soles of your feet and the palms of your soft hands every night before ravishing you under the sheets until your eyes fill with tears of pleasure��things a mere pirate cook could never provide. 
he imagines in a few years you would have two beautiful children: a girl and a boy, of course. they would be spitting images of you–or maybe one of them would have their father’s fluffy brown hair or gorgeous eyes. whatever the genetic combination, Sanji doesn’t doubt they would be absolutely beautiful solely because they came from you. 
he imagines you living the life you deserve above everyone else on this godforsaken planet: happy, loved and safe from the dangers that come with life on the sea. you’d live a long life and be left wanting for nothing.
it’s a life Sanji cannot give you.
“oh. no, thanks.” your response to the kneeling crown prince is curt with your mouth hidden behind your hand to obscure the fact that you’re mid-chew. “i’m not interested.”
the matter-of-factness of your tone rips Sanji straight out of his self-deprecating nightmare as his head snaps in your direction. still holding his hand, you give it a soft squeeze as you maintain eye contact with your latest suitor. the entire restaurant is dead silent and even the wait staff are frozen in place, trays of freshly prepared gourmet food left to slowly cool before they can even be touched.
the Prince doesn’t hide his disappointment but he takes it better than any of the Straw Hats anticipated. if anything, they were all prepared for a fight but instead, the man simply apologises for disrupting your dinner and takes his leave. once he’s gone, you swallow your food before turning to meet Sanji’s eyes with your own. you can’t help but feel a pang in your chest when you see how teary he looks; you give his hand another squeeze before bringing the back of it to your lips and give him a soft kiss.
“we can talk about this later,” is the message your eyes convey to him and he nods in response.
although business gradually goes back to normal and the usual dining room chatter resumes, you and your group finish the rest of your meal with an odd sense of awkwardness encompassing the establishment. much to your–and Sanji’s–pleasure, however, it seems that your rejection of the Prince’s proposal is enough to ward off any other suitors, at least for the rest of dinner.
ii.
whilst some of your crewmates opt to sleep in early or explore the night market, you and your usual group of drinking buddies head to the hotel’s bar. out of habit, you find a table with four seats for Nami, Robin, Zoro and yourself, though you soon realise your mistake when you notice Sanji’s still holding onto your hand.
“what? not gonna chase skirts tonight, shitty cook?” Zoro speaks your mind. the blond chef’s grip on your hand tightens slightly.
“no, of course not, you stupid mosshead.” Sanji doesn’t elaborate any further but everyone knows the reason why: news of your rejection of the Prince hasn’t spread far enough yet, it seems, and already new faces are peering your way, presents in hand.
less than an hour passes and you’re not the only person who’s been approached by suitors: every one of your Straw Hat companions has been accosted at least three times. you try to keep count but eventually lose track when you reach double digits.
“it seems like they’re more desperate as the week comes to an end,” Robin observes, mumbling into her glass after turning down her fifteenth admirer. 
“desperate’s putting it lightly,” Zoro replies, growing more visibly annoyed as the minutes pass and he can’t seem to enjoy one drink without a man or woman shyly sneaking up on him with more homemade cookies. “they’re even going after the shitty cook, they must be more than desperate,” he adds with a snort, clearly happy to take up any opportunity possible to rile up your boyfriend.
though you can tell Zoro’s ‘joke’ bugs him, Sanji remains quiet, opting to just shoot the swordsman a sharp glare from across the round table.
“here comes another one,” Nami groans, praying she’s not the target.
unfortunately for you, her wish comes true.
Zoro’s guard dog comparison from earlier in the day rings true yet again when the man taps your shoulder to get your attention. before you can even turn to look at what they look like, Sanji’s head snaps around first. although there’s an unmistakable look of pure rage in his eyes as he scowls at the man that makes the suitor almost instantly break out into a cold sweat, the cook’s grip on your hand remains the same gentleness as always.
“fuck off!” Sanji barks, subtlety be damned. your companions each react in a similar manner, choking on their respective drinks to some degree. you even catch Zoro murmuring to himself, “goddamn.” valuing his life, the stranger turns tail and disappears in a matter of seconds.
half a minute passes and the same bitter expression is stuck to your beloved’s face. your free hand reaches up to his head before you run your fingers through his soft hair. the gesture alone seems enough to snap him back to reality as his scowl melts away to be replaced by a small smile. Sanji closes his eyes and lets out a breath, tensed shoulders relaxing as you continue to caress his head. your hand slowly trails down his face before stopping to rest on his shoulder, your palm wrapped around the base of his neck, thumb rubbing along the edge of his sharp jawline. 
your gentle ministrations send his heart into overdrive, the fragile organ threatening to beat so fast and so hard that it shatters his ribcage into nothingness. despite having known you for so long, he can’t ever seem to get used to your love.
“what a coincidence seeing you here, miss (Y/N),” a familiar voice speaks from behind you. from the looks on your crewmates’ faces, you can already tell you’re not the only one sick and tired of this island’s tradition. before anyone–even Sanji–can react to the blatant interruption, you stand up abruptly and turn around to face Prince Aphr. donning a smile, he’s dressed differently than when you first met him at dinner but his expensive clothes only serve to annoy you even further.
“i’ll only say this one more time, your highness,” you say through gritted teeth, days’ worth of built up irritation finally spilling over the edge and the unlucky target of your wrath just has to be the son of the ruler of the island–but you find it hard to care. “i’m not interested and i’ll never be interested. now, please leave me and my friends alone.”
Sanji stares up at you from his seat with his eyes wide and lips slightly parted. the last time you looked this angry was when an enemy pirate kicked Chopper like a soccer ball–and you’d gone on an absolute rampage back then. however, it seems that due to Prince Aphr’s lack of experience witnessing such devastation, he chooses to press on. as much as Sanji would love to diable jambe his royal ass, both him and the rest of the Straw Hats present at the table know you’re fully capable of handling this yourself.
“may i at least ask what it might take for you to even consider my proposal?” the prince asks. he’s either an extremely convincing actor or he’s genuinely so dense he doesn’t actually realise you’re in a relationship with the man right beside you.
“nothing.” your response seems to take him aback. “you could offer me the entire world on a silver platter and my answer would still be the same. my family is my crew and i’ve already met the love of my life.”
Sanji realises at that moment that a small part of him expected you to give an answer the prince could fulfill. when the finality of your words hits him, he can’t help the tears welling up in his eyes as his heart sinks to impossibly low depths. 
you said it all with such ease, so little effort. have i ever done the same for you? what kind of man have i been?
iii. 
Sanji twiddles his thumbs as he sits on the king sized bed, listening intently to the sound of the shower running. when it stops and he hears the slight creak of the shower door opening, he’s overcome with a great sense of anxiety, knowing that time will not stop just because he needs more time to gather his thoughts.
a few minutes later, you exit from the bathroom in a fluffy white robe, the smell of your shampoo washing over the entire hotel room. with a satisfied hum, you crawl across the bed to sit beside him.
“so,” you say gently as you grab one of his hands to play with his long fingers, “you wanna talk about anything?” the moment his eyes meet yours, all the words he painstakingly prepared to say slip right through his fingers. 
you’re so beautiful.
Sanji opens his mouth but is unable to speak, he can only breathe and stare as you patiently wait for him to let everything out. 
i don’t deserve you.
you tilt your head slightly and hum, as though trying to remind him that you’re still there. you look at him with such pure adoration, he wonders if you’re even looking at him. 
but i want you and i want your love more than anything. so please–
“don’t leave me,” Sanji finally manages to choke out, hot tears now streaming down his face. days’ worth of anger and worry finally catches up to him and he can’t do anything but slump forward to bury his face in your midsection. his lanky arms curl around your waist in a desperate attempt to hold you there, just in case you decide you don’t want him anymore.
“hey, who said anything about leaving you, my sweet boy?” you say with a light chuckle but it does nothing to hide the heaviness in your voice. you wrap your arms around his head, hugging him closer to your stomach as he sobs into your bathrobe. running your fingers of one hand through his hair just the way he likes, you continue, “what makes you think that?”
“Prince Aphr can give you everything.” Sanji pulls his head away just enough to speak clearly but not far enough to break away from your warm embrace. “and i can’t. up until we arrived here–ever since we started dating–i couldn’t even stop flirting with women right in front of you and for what?!”
you shush him when he starts to raise his voice and you feel his fingers tighten their grip on the back of your bathrobe. “it’s okay–”
“no, it’s not,” he cuts you off. “how am i supposed to call myself yours if i can’t even treat you with the respect you deserve? i’m sorry, (Y/N), i’m so sorry i took for granted how open you are with the way i am around other women. just seeing the way so many people wanted to steal you away these past few days, and how you turned them all down, made me realise i’ve been a shitty boyfriend–”
deciding that you’ve heard enough, you lean back to separate his face from your body and use your hands to gently tilt his head up so that your eyes meet. Sanji stares almost pitifully up at you, his own hands still holding on for dear life onto your robe as his long legs splay out behind him across the large bed.
“you’re far from a shitty boyfriend, my love,” you sniffle, feeling tears of your own forming in your eyes, “you take such good care of me. you feed me anything i want, fuss over me when i’m sick, protect me in battle. you always let me shower first aboard the Sunny so i get all the hot water.” cupping his face in between your palms, you rub the pads of your thumbs across his cheeks, wiping away his tears. “you look at me like i hung the stars and the moon in the sky,” you say with a choked laugh, unable to help feeling a bit embarrassed admitting such a thing aloud, “sometimes i don’t even know how to live up to that.”
Sanji takes in a shaky breath as he nuzzles his face into your right hand so you lightly scratch his scalp with your left. the sensation pleases him so much he swears he nearly starts purring. 
“how did i get so lucky?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your palm.
“how did i get so lucky?” you reply with a laugh before leaning down to brush your lips against his forehead. 
already Sanji feels the aching in his heart slowly fade away, leaving behind a soreness that’s sure to persist but he’s certain that it, too, will disappear over time as long as you’re by his side. 
tags: @mlpandr63 @wifeofladyqu @strawberrysanzu @qui-sap @secretlife028 @the-avengers-not-the-nazis @peachycat17 @xiaothedgyemo @chaseyui @certain-tragedies @amei-draws-stuff @carmen-skullz @cobainlover @lara-christensen-me @shondlenoodle @teewon @makingmammonmoves @carmendanny2
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rainba · 8 months ago
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Here it is... The fic where Luka kidnaps both his darling and Kairos.
TWs/tags: human furniture, dubcon, kidnapping, slight depiction of violence, pet play, NSFW, mind break, cucking (?), dark content, use of shock collars
Reader is GN, however, there is one paragraph where the reader is gendered. The asterisk* will mark the paragraph with afab reader, and the one in parenthesis is amab. :3c)
MDNI! 18+
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In one previous post, I mentioned that Kairos and Luka do live in the same universe and city– and in a few other posts, I mentioned that they’d never share their darling. If one of them tries to kidnap darling, they’ll just report the other to the police. 
Then another idea came up, a way that Luka could circumvent that predicament: Luka figures that Kairos would instantly report him if he kidnapped his darling. So… In order to stop that from happening…
Luka would kidnap both you and Kairos.
Luka’s house is definitely big enough to keep both of you. In the beginning stages, he’ll keep Kairos locked up in the attic while he keeps you in the basement. The basement is much cozier– meanwhile the attic is all dusty, hot, and muggy.
Between you and Kairos, Luka will be much, much nicer to you. He’s (quite literally) obsessed with you, so of course you get the better treatment. He cooks your favorite meals and feeds them to you by hand. He gives you plenty of water and always showers you in attention– sometimes he’ll even place a TV down in the basement and let you watch random stuff. You know, just so you don’t get too bored. He wants you to feel at home–! When you learn to accept your new life, he’ll spoil you rotten.
But for Kairos..? Luka is absolutely brutal.
Luka will rub in the fact that he beat Kairos in “winning you.” He’s simply just the superior man– the superior partner. Luka loves you too much to ever let you go. After all, you're the only person that has ever made him feel anything at all. And he really drives in the fact that you belong to him, and that Kairos will never have the chance to even touch you.
Luka will walk circles around Kairos as he mocks him relentlessly.
“Nobody is looking for you.”
“You’re pathetic. Disgusting freak.”
“They’re all mine, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Kairos will scream, squirm, and cry as much as he possibly can– but nobody can hear him. Luka is right: nobody is looking for him. Kairos doesn’t have any family. He doesn’t have any friends. He’s stuck in this hell forever.
To keep Kairos alive, Luka gives him his leftovers. He dumps it onto the dirty ground and drags Kairos next to it, commanding him to “eat up.” Kairos is forced to pathetically writhe on the floor and eat without his hands– all because Luka refuses to untie him. As for water, Luka forces Kairos to drink out of a dog bowl.
Most of the time, Kairos can’t hear anything. Luka’s house is eerily quiet at night. And during the day, Kairos can sometimes hear the sounds of children laughing and playing outside, or he’ll just hear Luka casually going about his day as if there aren't two people locked up in his house.
It’s torturous.
Over time, Luka will get you to warm up to him– call it stockholm syndrome kicking in, if you will. Or maybe you already loved him and he just needed to build trust with you. Either way– you eventually upgrade from the basement to his bedroom. And that’s when things get infinitely worse for Kairos.
He’s not just listening to Luka going about his daily routine now– no, now he has to also listen to the two of you fucking multiple times a day. The way you’re moaning out another man's name… The sound of the bed creaking and banging against the wall… Kairos finds himself choking and sobbing as he’s stuck tied to the chair. Sometimes he starts to dissociate and pretends that he’s somewhere else.
Most of the time he pretends that the two of you just got married, and he’s playing out different scenarios of honeymoons in his head.
After a few more weeks or months go by, Luka will grow bored of keeping Kairos tied up in the attic. If he’s gonna keep a hostage, he might as well put them to good use. So what does he do with Kairos?
He uses him as human furniture. Forces him to also be a pet.
You’re horrified as you watch Kairos crawling around the house with a gag in his mouth and a leash attached to his throat. If Luka feels bold enough, he might even have the words “Luka’s Bitch” decorated on the collar. Oh– and it’s not just a regular collar, either. It’s a shock collar.
Any time Kairos acts out and disobeys Luka, he earns himself a shock so powerful that it causes him to seize and collapse onto the floor.
…This entire time, you thought it was just you in the house. You didn’t know there was another person. You’re not alone.
It makes your stomach churn.
And Luka encourages you to use Kairos as furniture as well. Use him as a footrest, use him as a table or a chair– do whatever.
Over time, deep down, incomprehensible and guilty thoughts begin to appear in Kairos’ mind. Things that made him once want to throw up now make him feel… Funny. He’s so happy that he gets to see your face again–!! He’s finally reunited with the love of his life, it’s just a shame it’s under such horrible circumstances.
Kairos doesn’t mind if you use him like furniture. It’s okay if you do it. But he loathes it when it’s Luka who’s using him.
The difference between you and Luka is like night and day. While Luka berates and degrades him, sometimes even depriving him of basic necessities, you always sneak around and give Kairos lots of love and extra food. 
Kairos always breaks down and cries in your arms when you show him kindness– he’s so very thankful for it. But be sure that Luka doesn’t catch you. If he sees you being sweet towards Kairos, he’ll harshly punish Kairos and then fuck you right in front of him. Every time.
Kairos always feels so pathetic as he's forced to watch you getting ravaged by Luka. The way you're moaning under his touch... The hot, sticky sound of Luka's cock sliding in and out of you... All of this happening while Kairos is tied down and unable to do a thing. He's so fucking hard, and there's nothing there to relieve him. Luka punishes Kairos if he dares to look away.
In order to gain more privileges, both you and Kairos need to work to gain Luka’s favor. If the both of you prove that you’re capable of being trusted, he might give you more freedom. He’ll let you look out the windows every now and then– might even let you use the kitchen. He's much more open to giving you privileges than he is to giving Kairos any.
Except, of course, he always hides all of the sharp objects in the house. He doesn’t want you two to have access to weapons. And if you try to poison him even once, he’ll immediately make the kitchen permanently off limits when he's not around to watch you.
Also, over time, another funny thing happens. Luka doesn’t really like punishing you outside of sex- he'd much rather shower you in rewards. He’d rather save the roughness and punishments for more intimate settings. After all, he’s trying to earn your love– not make you hate him. So, what does he do instead?
Every time you act up, he’ll drag Kairos by his leash and punish him in your stead. After all, he knows that you care about Kairos and his wellbeing, so he uses that against you.
Oh, you just tried to break out of the house? You tried to poison Luka? Well, that deserves a proper punishment. Luka will tie you to a chair and force you to watch as he brutalizes Kairos. Whips him with a belt, kicks him in the stomach, takes away his food privileges for the next 48 hours... It’s horrible.
And in a way… This would cause Kairos to start policing you, too. Which is exactly what Luka wants. Kairos really, really doesn’t want to get punished. I mean, deep down, he’s absolutely happy that he gets to take the beating instead of you– it’s like he’s your hero!! …In some weird and twisted sense. But also, he really doesn’t want to get punished, so… Please don’t act out.
However, when the months keep rolling in, Luka will slowly warm up to Kairos. All of the punishments will grow less severe– and sometimes, Luka just lets you all off with a warning. It’s obvious that a big change has happened when instead of Luka just fucking you in front of Kairos, he lets him join in on the fun.
Except Luka doesn’t really want to touch him– so, he’ll let you touch Kairos instead. It’s what Kairos always wanted– Right?
Kairos should thank him. 
Luka will tie his arms behind his back and keep him firmly locked to a chair, completely naked. Kairos feels so ashamed that he’s hard– but god, he can’t help it. He’s so excited to finally be able to touch you, his darling, the person that should’ve always been his–!
And Luka will make sure it’s enjoyable for everyone. Luka will strip you of your clothes, but he might put you in a cute pair of thigh highs, just for the fun of it. Luka will grab you by your hair and push your face into Kairos’ lap as he utters one phrase, “suck it.”
You’ll do as you’re told– you don’t have much of a choice. Kairos’ eyes instantly light up as you wrap your lips around his sensitive cock.
Finally– his dreams are coming true…! 
Sort of.
As you suck him off, Luka will lift your ass into the air and he’ll fuck your tight hole. He’ll keep his right hand on your hip while his left hand grabs the back of your head, lacing his fingers into your hair. He doesn’t care if you can barely breathe– he’ll shove your head all the way down on Kairos’ dick as he bottoms out inside of you. Occasionally, he’ll lift your head up and lean in to kiss you on the lips.
It’s all so hot– but ultimately, it’s all for you and himself. Luka will always make sure you cum, that’s his top priority. His second priority is to make sure he gets to fill you up. As for Kairos? Well… Luka doesn’t care all that much.
If Kairos doesn’t cum? That’s too bad. It’s Kairos’ own fault that he didn’t come undone. But if he does cum? That’s alright too. 
However, don’t expect Luka to make you stop sucking. Kairos will be squirming in his chair whining like crazy as you overstimulate him, his body trembling from the sensation, but you can’t stop until Luka says you can stop.
The second scenario is much more likely to happen than the first. The moment Kairos looks down and sees your fucked-out face choking on his length… He’ll cum right on the spot– every single time, without fail.
After the first instance of Luka letting Kairos join in the sex, he earns a lot more privileges. He can finally sleep in the same room as you two–!! But he’s not really allowed to rest on the bed. He’ll be forced to curl up and sleep on the floor– but hey, it beats the attic any day, right?
Luka also takes off Kairos' shock collar. Since Kairos has proved himself to be a good boy, he's now allowed to roam around freely. Hell, sometimes Luka will pet Kairos and give him some praise. It... Makes Kairos feel strange, but in a good way.
Kairos is also now allowed to cuddle you sometimes. When you’re simply sitting on the couch and trying to relax, Kairos will immediately hurry over to your side and rest his head in your lap– desperate to feel even an ounce of affection from you. He might ask you to stroke his hair and kiss the bruises Luka left on his skin.
* If Luka is at work and Kairos knows there’s no cameras around, he might beg to suck on your tits– you know, for comfort reasons! It would really make him happy to have them in his mouth– it would be therapeutic, even.
((And if you’re a guy, Kairos will instead beg to frot you. While it’s a lot more dangerous and the punishment for getting caught is heavy, Kairos is willing to risk it all. Don’t worry–! You can just sit there and relax; Kairos will be the one doing all the work with his hand.))
You know how stressful and traumatizing this whole situation has been for him… He needs to be comforted so badly… So.. Pretty please?
In some sick and twisted way, over time, Kairos grows to like the way things are– perhaps his mind does this as a way to cope. He tries his hardest to find all the positives in living this kind of life:
> He gets to spend every minute of every day with you!
> He doesn’t have to worry about talking to strangers.
> He doesn’t have to work and maintain a job.
> He doesn’t have to cook and clean for himself.
The list goes on. Kairos gains all of these benefits, and all he has to do is give up most of his basic human rights and submit to another man…!
Okay, Kairos still admits that is pretty bad. But… At least he has you…! That’s all Kairos really cares about in the end!
For Luka? He’s satisfied with the way things are. Not only does he not have to worry about Kairos ratting him out to the police, but now he has both the love of his life right by his side and a fun little pet to take his stress out on. 
So… Everyone… Wins? In the end? ❤️
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softmaki · 2 years ago
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cw; gn reader (+ no use of yn), oral (m. receiving), rough-ish leon, degrading(?), set somewhat modern, consensual picture taking! lmk if I missed any :3c + please read a/n at end for credits!
leon kennedy who has you on your knees at the edge of the bed, your mouth and throat stuffed full with his cock. you don’t know how long you’ve been at this, but you can let bring yourself to care much. the way his hands grip your hair n massage your scalp, the grunts n groans your ears are picking up on, the way his thigh twitches from time to time. it’s all so enticing and your only motive is to get him to the finish line he oh so deserves despite your hesitance for this to end. and to your disappointment, yet much to his pleasure, you can start to feel how his cock throbs in your throat, how his moans edge up in volume and how his pacing starts to falter.
a particularly loud moan escaped his throat as you feel the warm liquid start oozing in your mouth, a bitter and tangy taste resting on your tongue as he pulls out. you prepare yourself to swallow, but to your surprise he stops you when he grabs your cheeks with his hands and squeezes, forcing your lips to pucker and part open. he locks eyes with you intently before humming in thought.
“y’look so cute like this. want to take a pic of you, ‘s that okay?” he whispers, his eyes never looking away from your own. you can only give a half assed attempt at a nod, given his grip on your chin and how his cum is starting to dribble out of the corners of your mouth. “good job, knew you couldn’t disappoint me.”
he reaches for his phone, and a fleeting thought passes by you. what if you swallowed it just to be a brat? his phone comes into your vision much faster than you could actually act on your thought, so now you just leave it as another activity for a different day. and… you kinda wanted to keep the well-behaved streak for today, maybe you’d get a reward later…
“tongue out.” he mutters as he angles his camera and you do as he says. your lips part further and your tongue peeks out, the white liquid still there. however the small push also encourages other small parts to dribble out and down your chin. “mm, fuck… just like that.”
a shutter sound effect plays and you know he’s got the picture of you now. butterflies dance around in your tummy at the thought but you’re quickly brought back to the scene in front of you as you hear him speak again.
“does my obedient cumslut want a reward? hm?”
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a/n; rushed n a bit poorly written, but my own take based on one of the hc’s written by @hissmajestty (it’s not letting me attach a direct link, I’m so sorry!) in their leon post. credit to this hc is all theirs :3
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billskeis · 8 months ago
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o em gee I love you AND your writings sm, can I ask for a smut maybe like 2009 tom and js like let’s say he woke up from a nap and he like gets a boner and when he asks the reader to help him , they say yes n’ hes js spitting out sweet swords and stuff ty and make sure u get some rest! 🤍🙏
luv u 2 lets makeout :3c
ᡣ𐭩 tom’s post nap boner
tom woke up with an uncomfortable feeling, almost breathing heavy as he blinked away the sleep in his body. looking around, he noticed you were no longer laying in bed with him. as concerned as he was, there was an even bigger problem at hand. that concerning the morning, or, afternoon wood that he had woken up with.
“hi tom!” he turns his head to met the voice that called out to him. you were already awake, feeling a little bit craving, you left your bedroom not too long ago to go grab a snack and a glass of water. sitting down at the edge of the bed, you gulped down the last bit of water as your attention quickly averts to the show the both of you fell asleep to.
with a groan, tom who was once sitting up in confusion and discomfort, leans his whole body back down on the bed. he feels a little bad having to ask such a thing for you considering that the two of you had just done it, thus the much needed nap. but he can’t help it! he’s a growing boy with growing needs (still?)
“baby..” you hummed in response hearing him call you, body leaned toward his but head still directed to the television. whining, tom palms himself through his sweats, unable to wait any longer. however, you’re not getting the message he’s trying to send. “look at me, please?” he asks ever so politely which has you actually turning to face him.
you gasp at the sight of tom, who’s about to pull off his sweatpants, along with his boxers. he gives you a tease of a sight of his hard-on, only a smidge of his shaft peaking through the small opening, almost toying with you as you pout. why didn’t he just say so? “can you help me out? i got a big problem..” you thank the gods he finally asked.
not even needing to say anything, you immediately get on your knees, positioning yourself in between his legs as he now sat on the edge of the bed. freeing his boner, his cock springs out of its constraining, cold air hitting tom’s dick as he lets out a small groan of relief.
you waste no time in going down on him, licking a stripe up the length of his dick as you immediately suckle on the tip. drooling as you get his cock wet, you slobber your mouth all around the hilt, going up to press a quick kiss on the top, giggling. “aren’t cha such a good girl for me, hm?” he tucks a strand of hair behind your ears, admiring how prettily you sat below him.
fully taking him into your mouth, you bob your head up and down his cock. the more you sucked him off the quicker his expression was to falter, running his hands through your hair, he pats your head as a way of showing you how good you’re making him feel “f-fuck.. you do that s’well.. gonna make me come soon..”
now behind his cool and sexy facade, tom becomes adorable when you suck him off. jaw hanging low as he gets all shaky and trembling, balling the bedsheets within both his fists as he resists fucking his dick down your velvety throat. he has to completely resist the urge to have you gag on him, choke on his dick. maybe he’ll save doing that for another day.
his attention is focused on you and you only, watching as how his length so quickly disappears in your mouth as pleasure runs through his body. he can’t help but whisper sweet words as you run your tongue across him, “mmph.. your mouth feels really good.. definitely g-gunna, shit, make you do this for me more often..”
tom now has one of his hands holding your hair out of your face in a makeshift ponytail as you swipe your tongue across the side of his cock. his moans are whiny, and needy, and filled with total lust and admiration as he just watches you. god, even though it was the thousandth time you’ve done this, you make it feel as though it’s his first time ever getting a blow job, sending him into an ecstasy he luckily gets to experience over and over again.
“s-shit baby, gonna come..” tom gives you notice before you stick your tongue out as he spurts cum right onto the flat of it. ropes of white also painting the plush of your lips, you lick off the remaining and look up at tom, smiling. he places a quick kiss on your cheek that has you giggling, “t’was so hot babe, thank you so much.”
lol ! need 2009 tom to give me lock jaw from how much i suck him off lol !
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just a thought , stay safe yall ;)
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kaiju-krew · 2 months ago
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shop testing??
ok sooooooooooo
tumblr gets special treatment on this bcuz i've been here way longer than twt...... you all deserve super cool super sick early access first dibs yeehaw (aka i love u all for putting up with me for so long)
i have been working on an online shop for a loooong time, and am thinking of finally opening up space for maybe 10ish test orders? (maybe a bit more depending on how many peeps are interested) the site still has a password on it so they'd technically be private/early access orders ig.... idk what to call them but u get it you're smart
i beeeeelieve i've worked out most of the snags along the way but would just want to say there may be some delays on shipping due to me trying out this new method, but i am more than happy to work with anyone who places an order to make sure they get what they ordered!!
feel free to dm me (or reply to this post if you want me to dm you) if you want the link & pw to the site, but as a fair warning i may change the pw if i get too many orders :') if you miss the window on this opening i'll send the new pw once im ready for another batch! :3c
have some pics of some of the goodies /o/ i dont have a ton of variety yeeeet but have lots cookin atm
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tw1l1te · 10 months ago
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The Final Promise₊˚✩⊹
Chapter 2
Linked Universe x reader
Warnings: Angst, fluff, soft and domestic, suggestive themes
Authors note: I was too excited to not post this lmao :3c
Time seemed to stop, and you didn’t mean by the Old Man.
Time literally seemed to halt. You stared at Rusl, trying to find any signs of lying or amusement in his eyes, as if this was some joke. A cruel, twisted joke.
“W-what?” you asked, the only word you could muster. You could feel your fingers shake on the table. You didn’t want to believe what Rusl said, or did you? You weren’t sure. 
You weren’t sure if you’d accepted the fact on whether or not you were coming home ever again, but you didn’t think it would happen now, or so soon. Maybe Hylia wanted to see how your head would react. A twisted game for her, like it always is.
“Are you sure that’s what she said? Maybe she meant something else-"I know what she said. I may be old, but I saw what she wrote clear as day. There’s another mirror.”
Before anyone could say anything else, you stormed out of the cottage, the door squeaking on it hinges as you storm out.
“Y/n! Wait!!” Hyrule yells after you.
Before you could stop yourself to calm down, you break into a spring, heading straight towards the forest. You needed to run. Run. RUN.
This couldn’t be happening. You researched and combed through Hyrule Castle’s archives to find any sliver of hope that you’d be able to come home. Even if it said it was impossible, you never found anything to begin with. You had no answers.
You don't know when you stopped running, you panted as you sat up against a tree, silent tears running down your cheeks and down your neck. Breathing was so difficult, you began hiccuping and hyperventilating, gripping onto your hair for any kind of grounding back into reality. That’s when you felt something wet on your forehead.
Looking up, you were relieved for it to just be Wolfie, or Twilight. 
“Twilight you shouldn’t have followed me.” you whispered into his fur.
Twilight turned back into his Hylian form, your face still in his pelt. 
“I needed to make sure you were okay. Can’t leave you alone, especially in Faron Woods. Who knows what’s still out here,” he murmured into your hair, combing through your sweaty locks. He kissed the top of your forehead, hesitating before pulling back.
“It’s gonna be okay, Y/n. I promise. We’ll be with you, every step of the way, ok? We’re gonna find you a way to go home. Whether it be this lead or if we find something else.”
You sighed. Twilight was always the more outwardly calm person in the chain, alongside Time and Warriors. 
“Twilight that’s the thing… I’m not even sure if I want to go home. It’s probably been years back home, hell I don’t even know if I have my apartment or my friends or… But its not like I don’t want you, y’know? I’ve been dreaming of going home since I first came here, I’d been up for nights at a time just researching in the underground library archives. I-I don’t know what to do or think, Twi.” you rambled, voice breaking at the end, letting more tears slip out.
“Although I don’t know exactly what you’re feelin’, I’m here for you, whatever it is that happens. We’re all here for you.”
He takes a breath.
“Speaking of the others, we should head back to the village, the others are probably worried sick about you.”
You nodded without a word, getting up and making back to Ordon Village together, Twilight wrapping his pelt around your shoulders. It smelled like him, you thought. 
~
Twilight never gives anyone his pelt, its the one thing he sees as his. So why’d he give it to you? He has no idea. Instinct, he thinks. It’s cold, you needed it more than him. He looks down at you, your pink cheeks and wet lashes making you look more fragile and doll-like. Your cute nose sniffing every few seconds, breathing in the cold air. Your ears were so small, littered with at least 3 or 4 piercings, one of which was a triforce. 
Twilight smiles slightly. He always liked the little pieces of “memorabilia” you had of them. It was incredibly strange and unsettling when they first found out, but he sees it more as like your belonging to them admiration of them.
Twilight’s train of thought stopped for a moment.
Where the hell did that thought come from?
Before he could ruminate on his psyche, he’s shaken out of his thoughts by Wind yelling “Oh thank fucking Hylia!”
~
You came back into Twilight’s treehouse, heading toward the bathroom to take a warm bath. You noticed that the tub was already filled, hot steam coming off the surface of the water. You’d have to thank whoever drew you the bath.
Stripping your clothes, you set them in a pile near the door. You step into the tub, wincing slightly at the hot water making contact with your skin. It was a bit too hot for you, but you knew the water will cool off fast enough, so you powered through it.
You sighed. This was nice. Even with the chaotic stream of thoughts coursing through your head, the bath seemed to dull it, even for just a moment. You grab your hair and start combing through it, no doubt getting knots from running through the woods earlier. You look at the necklace Four made for you a few months ago. It was to commemorate a year being with the Chain, which in retrospect should’ve made you sad, but it made you extremely happy and grateful for everyone in the group
You knew it was much easier to come across rarer metals and jewels here than back home, but you were still just as in shock when you realized what it was made of. You remember sobbing from joy when you received it, as you never held something so expensive and meaningful in your entire life.
The necklace was made of metal sourced from Death Mountain but you had no clue what the gem in the triangle shaped cavity was. It looked like emerald, but the boys said it wasn’t that, and that they won't tell you. They were so petty at times.
You were startled out of your thoughts when there was a knock at the door.
“I brought you some fresh clothes, Dove.” Ah Sky, honestly you were a little relieved it wasn’t Legend or Wars, knowing they’d say something snarky or suggestive.
“Come in Sky.” 
You could hear the cogs turning in his head for a moment before he entered, red in the face. You almost laughed at what you were seeing.
Sky turned his head away from you and covered his eyes, just to spare you some dignity.
“I-uh gave you one of my older shirts since you don’t have any other clean ones and its thicker, so it’ll help keep you warm and it has-”
“Sky, for the love of god you’re making this more awkward than it has to be. You’re sweet for being so thoughtful, but we’re both adults Pumpkin.” you mused, chuckling a bit.
Sky finally made eye contact with you, but still avoided your eyes for the most part.
“Right. Um, well, I’ll just leave these on the chair then.”
Sky then stared at you. Not in a creepy way, just in admiration and awe. Luckily, the rest of your body was hidden under the bubbles of the soap in the water, so its not like he could see anything anyway.
He then walked up to you and sat down outside of the tub, still gazing at you.
“I was so worried about you earlier, Songbird. Are you alright now?” he asked, worry crossing his face.
You sighed. Ever the most thoughtful. Bringing your hands from under the water, you cup his cheeks looking right into his eyes.
“Don’t worry so much about me, Sky. I’m fine now. Twilight calmed me down a bit, but you know how shocking such information can be. I just need a bit to process, y’know? I’ll be fine though.”
You gave him a small smile, trying to read the thoughts behind his eyes. He just kept looking at you. You swear he looked at your lips a few times. Biting his lip, he asked “Can I wash your hair for you? No offense at all, I just wanted to offer because you never know when the next time we’ll get to be clean again.”
You nodded with a smile, sitting back against the porcelain tub, handing Sky the glass bottle of soap. As soon as he lathered his hands, he started massaging your scalp, a feeling you’ve missed so much. 
“Fuck, Sky, that feels so good.” you said, not realizing the tone or implication you said it in.
Sky’s breath hitched, but you didn’t catch it, too busy on the sensations on your scalp.
“Yeah?” he whispered, looking at your bare shoulders that were littered with scars from your journey with them, wishing he could wash them away. He felt his ears get hot from your soft sounds, happy that you felt so comfortable and wishing you’d make those sounds more often  domestic with him.
Suddenly the movement stops. Opening your eyes, you turn your head over your shoulder, almost jumping at how close his face is. Your gaze flickered to his lips, almost as if it was instinct.
“Sky… I-” “I’ll let you finish up.” And with that, he left, softly shutting the door behind him.
~
What the HELL is he thinking???
Sky gripped his hair, walking down the hallway, panting slightly.
He was so… close to you. He could smell the soap on your skin. He could see the different colors in your eyes. He felt strange. He knew he liked you… and not just as companions or friends… he wanted more. He felt happier, lighter since you came around. He genuinely laughed for the first time in ages.
It seemed like there was a spark of sorts between the two of you, but he didn’t want to assume or jump into anything… yet, at least. He needed a minute to calm down.
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antariies · 10 months ago
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how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk
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SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......
and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)
this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy
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okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!
1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.
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2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea
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3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!
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hehe :3c
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4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.
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5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!
and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c
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6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this
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7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves
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7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.
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8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.
a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.
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9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼
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10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.
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will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.
11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.
i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.
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12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O
and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....
13.
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i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.
me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!
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14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]
15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.
16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.
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17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.
18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture
19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol
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20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns
21.
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obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.
also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS
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but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!
and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼
and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P
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tiny-brass-bot · 1 year ago
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Hi! I saw a post where you had a game made in godot with old school rendering, do you maybe have any tips on how to make godot render a game like that instead of its normal rendering method?
I'd be right happy to!
I'll try to make this concise lol, I always end up overexplaining and then getting lost in the weeds. Buckle up, it's a loooooot of little little things that all add up.
First off, you should decide which look you're going for. N64 and PS1, the two consoles I'm emulating, both had drastically different specs. (plus, there's plenty of other early 3D systems I've not even touched!)
The N64 had texture filtering (textures were interpolated aka "blurry"), it had floating point vertex precision (points moved correctly), it had perspective correction on its textures (no warping)
The PS1 had no texture filtering, no floating point vertex precision (vertices snap and pop around), affine texture mapping (textures warp weird). I also think the color space they operate in is different? Don't quote me
So you can go hard one way or another or pick and choose what you think looks good! We don't have anywhere near the hardware restrictions they did in the 90s so go nuts.
RESOLUTION
To get a low resolution window, I set the window size of the game and the window override size to different amounts
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In green is actually how big the window is on my screen (4k monitor) and in red is the retro resolution I want. If you set the stretch mode correctly (an option a little further down the Window tab) then it'll make the pixels big
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COLORS
Now the PS1 had the capability of showing you over 16 million different colors, but it could only display 50,000-150,000 at a time, so in order to get more fidelity out of it, the engineers implemented a dithering effect to better blend the otherwise sharp edges between colors.
I used this shader to achieve the dithering effect. If you don't understand shader languages, that's fine. There are a few different pre-built ones for looking like the PlayStation 1 out there.
TEXTURES
Textures for the PS1 could be as big as 256x256, but they were typically 128x128. And they would squish everything a model needed into there usually, at least with like player models and objects and such.
As mentioned, if you're not good with shader language don't worry. There are countless resources out there that people will either let you use or teach you how it works. But I'm gonna touch on it a little bit here.
PS1 textures had no pixel filtering, so you could see individual pixels.
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This is what determines that in the shader code. If you want it to look like the N64 (blurry lol), the proper hint is "filter_linear". Note that it won't be 1:1 with N64, cuz they used bilinear filtering (which kinda sucks and causes weird quirks) whereas now you'll only find linear or trilinear filtering. It's a negligible difference imo.
PS1 textures also were only saved using 15 bit color. I'm told that Photoshop's "Posterize" filter set to 32 can achieve this, but don't use photoshop if you can help it. I use GIMP, and while a newer version might have a posterize filter, or there may be a plugin out there, my version doesn't so I cluge it a little.
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Change your color mode to "indexed", set color dithering to how you like it, and the number of colors in the palette to a number to get a good result. Usually I'll do 16, 8, 32, but occasionally I'll cheat and do a non-multiple-of-8 teehee >:3c
You can change it back to RGB after to make further editing easier.
LIGHTING
N64 and PS1 both implemented vertex lighting, as opposed to the more modern and (now) ubiquitous per-pixel lighting. Godot as it is right now (4.2 i think?) claims it has vertex lighting that you can set as a shader property but they're lying and it doesn't work yet.
The old consoles could only handle like, 2 lights though so it doesn't matter much.
The real star of the show, and in my opinion the one thing that makes a game most look like the 90s is the inclusion of vertex colors.
By multiplying the color of your texture by its stored vertex color, you can do all the shading yourself!
Plus you can reuse textures like crazy just by coloring them differently. The N64 also made heavy use of vertex colors by forgoing a texture on models entirely and just painting them using verticies. The only textures on SM64 Mario are his eyes, stache, hat emblem, buttons, and sideburns. Everything else is done with vertex colors.
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Here you can see this level from my Crock Land with no vertex coloring, with some of the vertex colors only, and then with the two combined.
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Rare loved this. Look at how colorful that cliffside is in Jungle Japes. It makes it so much more interesting than just a brown cliff face. Plus you can see the vertex coloration instead of textures at work on DK and the Gnawty.
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My go-to example for PS1 is always Spyro, what a gorgeous game. All of those colors there are not made by a light or an environment. They're hand painted babey! Also! With spyro! The skyboxes are actually just huge domes made up of vertices that are colored in different ways! That's how they can look so colorful and "hi-res".
There's plenty more you can do, like adding a CRT filter or a little bit of chromatic aberration which I haven't gotten into yet.
The way I've learned all this is just by being curious as to how the old consoles did their thing, and slowly accruing the knowledge over time. There's still infinite stuff I don't know too.
I hope that helped! And wasn't too longwinded or confusing! Like I said, it's all about piling up tons and tons of little things, small details, weird graphical quirks that really bring out the retro 3D feel for me.
And I didn't even get into the modeling side of things! That's an entirely different "color-of-the-sky"-sized post though.
I'd be happy to re-explain or explain more about any of this!
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petrifiedperi-au · 2 months ago
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HELLO. WOULD YOU LIKE A WRITING SNIPPET? Of COURSE you would! I've had this thing sitting in Google Docs for over a month and I'm not sure when I'll finish it, so here's a snippet of one of my favorite moments! >:]
BATTLE OF THE BIG WAND SPOILERS + MAGICAL BACKUP STUFF! Tread w/ caution if you're sensitive to vomiting, please! I may post another snippet later if anyone wants... :3c
[AU info here!]
Another, fresh set of rainbows pours onto the already flooded-floor. Dev's eyes grow wide as he snaps his gaze in the fairy's direction; they're more than a good few feet away, and, yet, it suddenly feels like he's way too close. He places a hand over his mouth and gags; their face is smothered in colors as their magic seeps out through their eyes and streams down like tears. An incoherent sound bubbles out of Peri's throat as they watch their Godkid through blurred vision, and they gasp, "Deeeeevvvvvvvvv!!!"
"Oh my God," Dev gags, again, voice squeaking, "what the freak is WRONG with you?!" A low groan from his stomach causes him to clutch it with his free hand; bile builds up in the back of his throat, and he bites his lip to keep himself from gagging a third time at the sight. It's beyond sickening— it's vile— repulsive—
"Deeevvvv, I got you some LACK-TOES free pizza!" Peri's wings twitch in sync with their legs as they kick them in the air, and their words slur together as they wheeze, "since it's not against Da Rules..."
"I don't CARE about the STUPID RULES—!" He moves his hand away from his mouth as he yells, which is followed by immediate regret as he breaks into a coughing fit of his own. Peri stares up at him, eyeballs big and wide, as he continues, "they're DUMB!" Shakiness fills his tone, and he takes a step back, unable to look away as rainbows ooze out of their ears, "and YOU'RE dumb! Because ALL you do is FOLLOW THEM!"
"I goottttaaaa, kiiidddddd," Peri replies deliriously, rolling onto their side and reaching their hand out to him. Whatever response they're about to form next gets cut off as they cough, however; they whine in pain and fall back onto their stomach with a disturbingly comedic squeak. Dev flinches and covers his eyes, chest burning with a heavy sense of guilt, dread, and… disgust. Thoughts scatter through his mind like bugs— millions of them— and he trembles as his hot, heavy breaths pick up a bit of pace. Of COURSE, leave it up to the FAIRIES to have the most disgusting deaths possible—
A choked sob rips through the kid's throat as his voice breaks; "WELL, MAYBE I WISH THE RULES JUST DIDN'T FREAKING EXIST! BECAUSE THEY'RE CLEARLY KILLING YOU!!!"
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