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Could you do arranged marriage with yoongi, prompt 68, and a happy ending🥺
I hope this is okay!
<Fire & Ice>
Yoongi x Female Reader
Warnings: Swearing, hints of cheating, slightly suggestive, mentions of being drunk
#68 “Seems like you have to sleep here tonight”
When you first entered into an arranged marriage with Min Yoongi you did your best to try and make it work. Sure it wasn’t ideal and you would’ve rather fallen in love on your own terms but it was done and over with and you were determined to try your best and make things work.
The first time he broke you down though was on your wedding night. His parents had rented a large suit at the most luxurious hotel in the city so that the two of you wouldn’t have to travel far after the reception. You were nervous but hopeful and maybe even a little excited. You changed out of your big ball gown of a dress and were waiting on the bed for Yoongi. When the door finally swung open you perked up a little only to be shot down when he grabbed his clothes and told you he had booked his own room to sleep in and then left without sparing you a glance. You spent your wedding night cold and alone in a king size bed while your new husband was doing who knows what. A crack formed in your heart that night.
The next time he chipped away at that crack was a few months later. It was his birthday and you had spent the entire day cooking all of his favorite foods. It was a lot of work but you really wanted to impress him. He told you he’d be home at his normal time so the table was set and you had changed into a nice dress and had lit some candles. You waited and waited and thirty minutes late turned into two hours late turned into six hours late. Finally around 2am he came walking through the door completely ignoring you and all of the food that was now cold and ruined. After questioning him he let you know that his friends threw him a surprise party that you apparently had never been made aware of and he forgot to tell you he was going to be home late. He tried to apologize but you fought back tears as you shoved his present into his chest and stormed off to your bedroom. The crack in your heart grew quite a bit that night.
There were other things that chipped away at it here and there. Hurtful words and spiteful glares. The few times you would go out of your comfort zone and wear something to try and get his attention but he’d never do more than look in your direction before turning his attention elsewhere. There was the way he always introduced you simply by your name, never Mrs. Min or even My Wife. It made you feel like he didn’t want people to know.
There were moments of positivity though. The two of you talked a little bit. You both had a love for music which started many conversations. He sent you roses on your birthday. And you swore he showed the tiniest bit of jealousy when you ran into your physical trainer, Jungkook. You couldn’t quite make it out but you know you heard him mumble something about how he could have muscles like that if he really wanted to before telling you the car was ready even though it wasn’t and you two had to stand outside in the rain for an extra ten minutes. You got the feeling he just wanted to get you away from Jungkook.
One evening though, he finally shattered your heart beyond repair. Another night where he came home way later than he should have. You heard a loud crash in the living room followed by lots of giggles. You rush out there and found him stumbling around drunk out of his mind after having knocked over a vase. His two friends, Namjoon and Jimin, were off to the side not completely sober themselves but seemingly more coherent than your husband was.
Yoongi coming home drunk wasn’t anything knew or shocking. You were used to it by now. So you didn’t think twice when you went to help him up and get him in bed only to be stopped when you saw the large purple and red bruise on this neck. You threw his arm down like it had electrocuted you.
It had always been in the back of your mind that he was possibly cheating. You two had been together for many many months at this point never having done anything like that and it was starting to affect even you. You always pushed those thoughts away though but here was the evidence right in front of you.
Yoongi was too drunk to defend himself. Jimin and Namjoon begged you to listen to them as they could explain what happened but you didn’t care to hear it.
You stormed off back to your room leaving Yoongi passed out on the living room floor and his friends to sneak out knowing there was going to be a fight. That was the moment you fully closed yourself off from him and decided that you two were nothing more than business partners for photo-ops and charity events.
You spent the next year barely speaking or even seeing each other. The first couple weeks
Yoongi tried to explain what happened but you were having no part of it so eventually he gave up. You had bought your own apartment on the other side of the city and only interacted with him at events and family get togethers.
And then one day yours and his parents dropped a huge bombshell that you were not expecting. They wanted to know why the two of you had not produced an heir yet. You couldn’t help but laugh because the two of you were barely even on speaking term so how were you supposed to start a family. That opened up a whole bunch of questions from your families leading to them suggesting the two of you needed to spend time together to try and work on your relationship. It was non-negotiable and before you knew it plans were made and plane tickets were booked against your will.
And that’s how you found yourself alone with Yoongi in a snow covered cabin up in the mountains several hours away from your home.
“I am not sleeping in the same bed as you.”, you spat after you found out it was a one bedroom home.
“Okay sleep outside in the snow then. I don’t really care Y/N.”, he mumbled walking out of the bedroom.
You rolled your eyes but had already accepted that you would be spending a sleepless few nights on the couch because you refused to give in.
After the long trip all you wanted was a hot shower and to get into your comfy pjs so that’s what you did. By the time you were finished the cabin was filled with a heavenly aroma and you found Yoongi in the kitchen. There were two plates of food sitting on the counter. He had made your favorite. When he noticed you he gently slid one over in your direction and for the first time since the beginning of your marriage you felt something other than disdain for him. But you weren’t going to let him know that.
“Are you trying to poison me?”, you questioned.
“Eat it or don’t. It doesn’t matter to me.”
You felt a little bit of guilt watching him grab his plate and sulk over to the table. Quietly you took the second plate and joined him. You both sat in silence with him scrolling on his phone and you just staring at the snow falling outside the window. It seemed like a blizzard was forming as the snow fall had picked up quite a lot since you arrived.
“It’s snowing quite a bit. I hope we don’t loose power.”, you whispered while somewhat trying to gage his reaction to you speaking to him.
He nodded, “yeah I hope not.”
And as if the universe was playing a joke on you the lights flickered once…twice…and then the entire cabin went dark.
“You have to be kidding me.”, Yoongi grumbled before getting up to look for the fuse box.
While he was gone you got a notification from the rental company letting you know there was a power outage in the area due to the snow storm and the current time estimate for it to be fixed was at least 48 hours.
When Yoongi returned you showed him the text which only soured his mood more. He walked into the bedroom and returned a few minutes later bundled up in several layers.
“Where are you going?”, you asked concerned.
“Well without electricity we won’t have any heat. I saw an ax on porch. I’m gonna go chop some wood so that we can build a fire to keep warm.”
“Okay let me get dressed and I’ll come help you.”, you said already walking towards the bedroom. He stopped you furiously shaking his head, “No absolutely not.”
You felt a little hurt that he was so adamant against you going with him but you also knew you couldn’t really blame him either so you stopped your movements as he asked.
He must’ve noticed your reaction because he cleared his throat, “It’s cold and dangerous out there. Just stay in here and enjoy the warmth before it’s gone. I shouldn’t be long.”
You nodded and watched as he closed the door behind him.
You had gotten all the dishes cleaned up and were waiting around for Yoongi. He had been gone quite a while and you were starting to get worried. So you decided to get dressed and were about to head out when he came walking him struggling to get the door to close behind him thanks to the wind. His cheeks were flushed bright red from the cold as he dropped several logs of wood into the fireplace. Within a few minutes he had a fire going that slowly filled the room with much needed warmth.
The two of you sat on the couch in silence just watching the flames move and listing to the crackling of the fire.
After some time Yoongi left and returned with several pillows and blankets. He started laying them out in front of the fire place.
“Seems like you’ll have to sleep here.”, he said looking at you, “We’ll both have to sleep here.”
Your first instinct was to argue against it but then you felt a chill down your spine and you knew you would never make it through the night in the bedroom. So you nodded and joined him underneath your own blanket while he had his and you still made sure there was a considerable distance between the two of you.
The soft glow and the sounds provided by the fire were comforting and you could feel yourself slipping off to sleep fairly quickly until you heard Yoongi shift beside you for probably the hundredth time.
“Yoongi are you okay?”, you asked half concerned half annoyed.
“Yeah sorry. It’s just still so cold it’s hard to get comfy.”
You thought for a moment before taking a deep breath, “D-Do you want to get under the same blanket? We can use our combined body heat to keep warm.”
He became so quiet and still you almost felt embarrassed for even asking until he nodded and lifted up his blanket to give you space to get underneath it.
There was an immediate increase in warmth but you thought it was probably thanks to your body’s rising temperature from being so close to Yoongi.
The room returned to a noticeable silence until it was Yoongi who cleared his throat, “Y/N can I tell you something?”
“Mmhm.”, you nodded.
He took a deep breath, “I’ve never cheated on you.”
You were surprised he was bringing this up so nonchalantly and out of nowhere.
He continued, “That night…That night when I came home drunk and I had that bruise it wasn’t what you think. I was out having some drinks and there was this guy. He came up to me and was talking all this shit about me and my family and stuff. I tried to ignore him. But then…then he called you a gold digging whore and he said he’d take you off my hands for $5 because that’s all you were worth. I got pissed that he was talking about you like that and punched him and then there was a fight and I got hit with something. Maybe a glass or something. I don’t even know what it was but that’s where the bruise came from.”, he stayed silent for another moment, “I know I wasn’t the best husband from the start but I would never and have never been unfaithful to you.”
His words replayed over and over in your mind.
“I just want to say I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was angry and hurt that I wasn’t given a choice in this whole situation but you were the last person I should’ve taken it out on.”, he sighed before continuing, “I just wanted to put that out there. It’s bothered me for a long time and I figured since there’s nothing else to do right now I could take the time to finally say it.”
Your heart was racing as you fidgeted with your sweatshirt.
“I’m sorry too. I should have at least let you explain yourself before completely shutting you out.”, you whispered feeling a little bit guilty, “I just wanted you to give me…to give us a chance and I was hurt that you wouldn’t.”
The room fell into another silence other than the crackling of the fire but this time it was a little less tense.
“M-maybe we should start over. I promise I can be a good husband.”, Yoongi said after a while.
“You did build us a pretty nice fire so that’s pretty good husband stuff.”, you replied trying to lighten the mood a little. He chuckled, “Yeah that’s just the beginning of the things I can do for you.”
You smiled, “Okay let’s start from the beginning.“
He nodded before searching for your hand underneath the blanket. When he finally found it you intertwined your fingers with his.
“Y/N, will you marry me?”, he asked.
“I mean yes but I don’t think we need to start over that far back.”, you giggled as he squeezed your had.
“Yeah how far back should we go?”, he questioned.
You bit your lip debating your next move, “Well how about our wedding night?”
Yoongi chuckled before pulling you into a kiss, “Yeah I think that’s a good place to start.”
#bts#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#bts fanfic#bts x reader#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fic#yoongi angst#yoongi au#yoongi fluff#bts yoongi#arranged marriage au
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Unpacking the Deals of Ep 8: Why and What They Mean
So episode 8 is... let's say a bit of a mess. I know there's some confusion around why Agatha proposes her terms for the first deal, why Rio flipped into cackling villain mode, why Rio makes another deal, etc.
Here's my read that hopefully helps draw a line from point A to B to C.
Let's consider the context of the first deal: Agatha's not having a good day. Two coven members who Agatha never expected to care about have died trying to protect her – a thing that has never happened before. And Death happens to be a person she can blame.
Death, who is pressing on that bruise ("Your coven is shrinking") and making her shitty day worse because she wants the kid Agatha is hardcore projecting on (and also didn't plan to care about) to die. Just like Nicky.
But Agatha then realises she has leverage on Rio. For the first time in forever, she has an advantage she can exploit. She can be in control.
And it's almost instinctive for Agatha at this point: finding the best buttons to push, the best terms for her given the opportunity.
Agatha: If I deliver Billy, you let me go. Rio: You will eventually die, Agatha. Agatha: But I want you to stop pursuing me. I want you to stop making my life hell. And when I die, a long, long, long, long, long time from now, I don't want to see your face. Rio: ... Okay.
The terms that Agatha sets out seem cruel because they are. She says what she does because she wants it to hurt. Agatha's not only rejecting Rio's continued presence in her life, she's denying all the love that Rio's given her, building on what she's said before ("You gave me nothing.")
From Rio's POV, Agatha's cutting words aside, this entire deal sucks. Because the options are:
(a) Agatha doesn't hold up her end, which Rio knows might happen: Rio knows Agatha cares about Billy ("I know how you feel about him"). Rio's constantly reminding her he's not Nicky. She was already doubting Agatha would deliver her usual number of corpses. She saw how affected Agatha was after Alice's death.
If Agatha doesn't help, she'd be choosing a boy over everything Rio's done again – and this time another woman's.
And if Rio somehow manages to take Billy anyway, Agatha will end up hating her twice forever.
(b) Agatha does hold up her end, which might also happen: Rio knows Agatha's manipulative and smart and capable. More than that, she's well aware Agatha hates her. That Agatha still doesn't see what she's done for her ("No one in history has had special treatment like you").
That she knows Agatha does care about Billy but maybe hates her so much that she's willing to go through with this to cut her out from her life. Billy would be a dear price but one Agatha's maybe willing to pay.
Even if it was a 50:50 chance for these options, I think Rio realises her relationship with Agatha is doomed either way.
Either way she does her job, with or without Agatha's help, she's going to be rejected and lose. One's just a slower path than the other.
I think that's why Rio gives in to her rage and bitterness and spite. Agatha thinks Rio's been making her life hell? She'll show her hell.
And Agatha, well I think there's some merit to the thinking that she didn't expect Rio to fold that quickly and completely.
Now for the context of the second deal, it's not clear whether Rio knows what happened with Tommy. I assume Rio doesn't – not yet anyway – as she doesn't mention it at all and seems focused on squaring that one life Billy stole.
Now here's where it gets a little squirrely, to borrow Schaeffer's language. Because if you don't look too closely, it seems to make sense: Billy stole a life so to maintain the natural balance, Rio needs to take a life, the one Billy has now.
But how does Agatha's life work as a substitute for this imbalance (“This means you’re coming with me”)? Would any other person’s life work? Could Rio have swapped someone else's life to save Nicky then? Agatha would have been all too happy to arrange for that murder.
I doubt the show is ever going to explain this so I offer few possible theories to deal with this weirdness:
Billy Maximoff is a product of chaos magic, so his existence and everything he affects already throws off the natural order, just to different orders of magnitude. Agatha’s life works as a substitute because his life is now intertwined with hers e.g. his hex probably saved her life from the Salem Seven and has the potential for greater imbalance
Rio is aware of Agatha’s tendency towards chaos and defiance of the natural order. Rio bent the rules of the universe only for Agatha. Taking her life would protect the balance in the larger scheme of things – if only so Rio won’t be further tempted to give her special treatment.
When Rio’s torturing Agatha it’s before she presents the second deal. So she’s still intending to go after Billy, she’s just removing Agatha as an obstacle while lashing out in rage and heartbreak.
In this moment Rio probably thinks Billy's in the wind. She saw how upset Billy was with Agatha at the end of episode 5. And Rio knows the reputation Agatha keeps ("Why do you let them believe those things about you?"), Rio probably thinks Agatha deliberately drove him off to keep him safe.
Then Billy pops up and Rio sees that Billy and Agatha care about each other and they're both aware they care about each other.
Fuckin’ great. Rio's not bitter at all.
Looks like you two are finally on the same page. So I'll let you decide. One of you stays with me. The other walks free.
Agatha proposed a deal designed to hurt her? Now it’s her turn.
From Rio's POV, I think here are the possible outcomes:
(a) Agatha sacrifices herself for Billy: Not impossible I think. Rio knows Agatha cares about the boy but she also knows Agatha will do anything to survive. She thinks she's above death. But again, I think Rio also knows Agatha would have sacrificed herself for Nicky if she had that choice.
What did Lorna want from the Road? To save her daughter.
This isn't an ideal outcome for Rio but she’s already resigned herself to losing Agatha I think, one way or another. This way if Agatha wants Billy to live so badly, this is the price she has to pay. The high cost of living.
(b) Billy steps up and sacrifices himself: Very possible given that Billy’s a young heroic sort and already showed up, risking his life to power up Agatha. Rio gets to do her job. Agatha will probably hate her more given the Nicky trauma but Rio’s already resigned to this on some level already, which is why she's raging.
Either way Agatha's going to hurt, and Rio's going to hurt.
It's interesting that when Billy does volunteer himself and Agatha seizes the opportunity to remind Rio of their earlier deal, Rio just shakes her head and looks amused.
You can also see for a brief moment Agatha looking almost remorseful about doing this before slipping her theatrical villainous mask on, overcompensating for her true feelings.
Do you remember pain? It kinda tickles doesn't it?
By the letter (not the spirit or intent) of the first deal, Agatha did ultimately fulfil her part:
I can arrange that. I can get him to the finish line and deliver him to you.
This is an opportunity that's almost impossible to resist for someone as calculating and ruthless and selfish like Agatha. She has power (chaos magic no less), she can have Rio leave her alone forever (she knows Rio honours her word), she knows Billy cares about her but can she really trust him?
But Agatha ultimately decides to take a risk. A calculated one sure, but still a risk.
I think the beauty in the kiss and her sacrifice is how – despite her calculating the odds – Agatha is choosing to give in to what she feels and wants in that moment.
Because she does want to protect the boy in a way no one did for her when she was young. She wants to save Billy like she couldn't with Nicky. And she does want Rio so much despite everything that's happened.
#agatha all along#agathario#agatha x rio#rio vidal#agatha harkness#tv: agatha all along#ship: vidarkness#aaa meta#i did it#boy this sure was some work
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What are the cookie run “fams” and what do the Y/Ns look like?
Yandere CRK Families
Alright this was a fun question, so I’ll go over three of them!
Chocofam
In terms of personality, I think that this particular Y/N is going to be very timid and withdrawn after an entire life spent within their father’s desolate and quiet castle.
As someone who believes in the necessity of strength and discipline, Dark Cacao Cookie doesn’t hold back from piling on consequences when he thinks you’re making a mistake or putting yourself in danger. His guidance is often harsh, but he genuinely thinks it’s what you need to become resilient enough to survive.
The king is strict- but he’s convinced that it’s only because he wants to see you become the best version of yourself. He frequently gives you strenuous “lessons” in survival skills or fighting techniques, preparing you for any misfortune or struggle that may come your way, but deep down, Dark Cacao knows he’s not willing to cut your lead enough slack to allow to those scenarios to manifest.
…and maybe it allows him to tuck your tired room in nice and tight when all is said and done, and maybe leave you with a treat or two.
But only if you’re good.
Caramel Arrow Cookie guards you as she guards the king, willing to trade her life for yours- I think she manifests her “yandere” behavior in sheer devotion and loyalty to His Highness, Dark Cacao Cookie, which spills over onto you in turn. If you are safe and happy, then Caramel Arrow knows that her king can focus on his duties as sovereign.
Because she’s unwilling to go against an order levied by the king, Caramel Arrow is strikingly strict with her care- not brutally so, but she’s definitely not the sort to waver once an order has been given. To help pass the time, she’ll set up targets and guide you through nocking and loosing arrows, ensuring that you’ll be just as grand an archer as her, all in time with your father’s ceaseless swordsmanship lessons. She’s warm-hearted in spite of her unwavering devotion to your safeguarding, which means it’s not impossible to get a pep talk or even a piggyback ride back to your room when you grow exhausted- and she also makes all of your meals herself to prevent any poison from being snuck in.
As for Crunchy Chip Cookie, he’s a little more hands on when it comes to dealing with you. He’ll roughhouse and tease and pester, though always with a measure of restraint- his job is to keep you safe, so no going all out or actually fighting. Still, a wrestling match or two is good for your spirit and allows for the burning of excess energy.
Though you aren’t allowed outside, there’s no rules against bringing outside in… which means that the Cream Wolf pups can “secretly” visit you as much as they’d like! It’s an immediate mood-booster for both you and the puppies, so he doesn’t mind cutting into training time.
Dark Cacao knows about all these canine rendezvous, of course. Crunchy Chip ran it by him beforehand, but they pretend that all of it is happening just under the rug. Maybe a little bit of presumed “troublemaking” does your heart good.
Well, until you inevitably get attached to a ring and then shuffle into his throne room to guiltily ask to keep it as a pet after “confessing” to playing with them it frequently.
(…he says yes, to everyone’s surprise.)
Probably your name is something like “Chocolate Milk Cookie”, “Cocoa Powder Cookie”, or “Dark Truffle Cookie”.
(Though the many soldiers tasked with caring for you will inevitably slip in enough nicknames to fill a book…)
Constantly nervous/bored and frowning, the soft gifts you’re spoiled with can only do so much to keep your wanderlust and frustration at bay- not that Caramel Arrow and Crunchy Chip ever stop piling them on. You prefer the books over the plushes, but anything new gets your little sad face twisting into a gleeful expression, encouraging your guardians to continue piling the gifts on.
Dark Cacao has you permanently bundled into the traditional garbs of his people, constantly wearing a reminder of the long-buried soldiers who bravely gave their lives for their people.
Unfortunately for you, you aren’t granted the privilege of owning thick woolen socks or fuzzy fur-lined boots- instead, your father ensures that even a step out of line would have you freezing and desperate to return to the warmth of your room.
Instead, you are forced to remain barefoot all through the day, walking only in halls and rooms that have plush carpet laid out for your little feet- else you begin to crumble from the cold. Of course, if the weather ever gets to you, you can always return to your room and request a fluffy blanket or a hot meal…
So long as you do what father says.
Oceanfam/Gemfam
(Not sure which one yet… name pending, basically. “Mermaidfam” is a little long, haha)
Probably you’re a little thing who falls overboard after rowing out a little too far, caught in the careless waves and dragged under the tide, then beaten mercilessly against rough rocks and jagged coral. The event leaves you soggy, close to crumbling… until a tender mermaid comes to your rescue under the veil of moonlight, dragging you to her underwater palace.
White Pearl Cookie is happy to meet you, to know you, to drink in every last story you can share with her about your warm and dry home back on land- until you pass out in her arms, dough so broken that your jam spills into the waters of Tearcrown.
Luckily for you, the Little Moon of the Sea has no end to her patience and kindness! Given that you’re unarmed and somewhat crippled at the moment, there’s little harm in bringing you back to the palace and settling you in for an extended stay.
Her sisters, on the other hand…
Though she’s kind, Aquamarine Cookie doesn’t think much of you at first. Really, with your wobbly lips and tearful eyes that scrunch each time a wound is cleaned and patched, she mostly just pities you. Eventually you end up wandering into her garden, where she warms up to your curiosity and enthusiasm over her lovely array of foliage. Especially if you take notes as she speaks. Expect lots of veggie dishes to aid in your healing.
Though she finds most two-legged cookies to be far too odd to bother with, Gold Citrine Cookie has already raided your personal effects and taken a liking in your interests- after all, a cookie that loves the sea can’t be that bad, right? She snatches the prettiest shells from your bag and takes them to her reliquary, hoping to gild them until they’ve reached a level of sparkle that satisfies even her.
Maybe some two-legged cookies are worth getting to know, if you like the same things that she likes. If you make White Pearl happy, you can’t be too bad.
Given her powers of foresight, Mystic Opal Cookie has very little trouble finding where you’ll be or what you might want, often drifting into sight to offer up a warm shroud or a nutritious snack, then slinking back into the shadows without a further word. She won’t never indulge to you her visions, but it’s safe to assume that you’re at least in them.
Crimson Coral Cookie doesn’t exactly like having a dubious and dying land cookie in their ward, but like her other sisters, understands that you basically can’t do anything to harm them without ensuring a death sentence for yourself, and you’re clearly not stupid, so… she allows your presence to slide.
Once she sees how happy you make her littlest sister, Crimson Coral does genuinely lighten up and make a decent effort to understand you, especially if you have knowledge of aquatic animals- it’s an easy thing to bond over.
I’m guessing that this particular Y/N might be something like “Shoal Scavenger Cookie”, “Seaweed Sailor Cookie”, or maybe “Tide Tracker Cookie”- having ties to the sea certainly helps them earn the trust of the Gem Mermaids by proving that you aren’t too different in terms of what you and they cherish.
With components like seafoam or algae in your dough, you’re surprisingly resist to growing soggy in the water, even more so when you’re granted a jewel to ward off the condition entirely- albeit in the form of a bracelet or necklace that locks tight around your dough and can’t be removed by hand.
Gold Citrine enjoys dressing you in a dazzling array of glittery and luxurious clothing, often custom-tailoring flowing garbs that sway with each gentle wave that billows through Tearcrown… though she often forgets that you don’t have a tail.
(…not that they aren’t looking for a way to give you one.)
Darkfam
Y/N is a Cake Hound Cookie. There’s no way around it. Red Velvet Cookie finds your little form after it toddles out of the oven, delirious from heat and fear, shivering and quaking- and he fucking snaps.
You’re him.
A mixture of Cookie and Cake, beast and being, in a neat package with a tail that nervously wags as he brings food to your mouth, his clawed hand cupped around the back of your little head, feeling your squishy strawberry ears…
You are a seamless culmination that he can only dream of being.
In reverence and awe, he brings you back to his master’s lair.
For all that Licorice Cookie isn’t on board with having a freshly baked cookie on the team (especially with how much trouble Poison Mushroom Cookie causes him), he’s also aware that letting a child who is immediately and unmistaken visible as “half-monster” wander freely in the world would be worse, and the mage doesn’t have it in his heart to send you off after you’ve already settled in.
As for the shroom-fanatic themself, Poison Mushroom Cookie essentially just clings to you and offers an endless supply of “shroomies” with abated glee, constantly hanging from your sleeves and tugging on your tail as you go about the day, just happy to have a new friend after a certain swordsman left…
Pomegranate Cookie graciously agrees that Red Velvet should keep you alongside his other Cake Hounds, if only because she’s intrigued to see what you’ll be capable of doing. After all, another set of hands to aid their master isn’t exactly a bad thing- and you very well may have powers granted to you by nature of your birth as a cookie-cake amalgamation. In time, she comes to treat you as she treats Poison Mushroom- almost as a troublesome little sibling who needs watching over.
Never one to spurn decent company, Schwarzwälder is happy to have a cookie young enough to do as he says- you’re probably too young to grasp his born name, and settle for calling him “Brute”. I imagine he’s got some decent ground rules for being a canine, knowing what you can or can’t eat, what methods for tending to your ears and tails is best, etc, etc… probably the safest yandere we’ve gone over so far.
Perpetually confused at the new and strange world around you, your eyes are frequently wide and your face pulled into a contemplative frown, overwhelmed with all that your sensitive ears and nose pick up on.
Red Velvet wants to be the one who does your hair, but his cake hand makes it nearly impossible to complete without damaging your frosted strands, so Pomegranate or Licorice will do it instead. Poison Mushroom will, uh, “try”… but their version of “trying” is to braid little mushrooms into the frosting.
(A+ for effort, Poison Mushroom Cookie.)
However, Red Velvet does get to help keep your ears glossy and tail clean, spending hours each week tending to your canine appendages. He’s got specialized polish (by Schwarzwälder’s recommendation) for the strawberry ears that flick and swivel with each barked order and every little coo, and a brush for the cream dollop tail that waggles at Bat-Cat and Schwarzwälder’s antics.
All your clothes are custom-sewn, of course. Red Velvet simply won’t tolerate any less than the about best for his favorite little soldier.
Once Pomegranate has grown fond of you, she’ll take to stitching any tears or fraying in your clothes, mending them with a sleek red and black thread that resembles her beloved master’s color scheme.
(Schwarzwälder is probably your favorite, though- after all, he’s the only other dog!)
#Platonic Yandere#Yandere Cookie Run Kingdom#Yandere CRK#Yandere Dark Cacao Cookie#Yandere Caramel Arrow Cookie#Yandere Crunchy Chip Cookie#Yandere White Pearl Cookie#Yandere Crimson Coral Cookie#Yandere Gold Citrine Cookie#Yandere Aquamarine Cookie#Yandere Mystic Opal Cookie#Yandere Red Velvet Cookie#Yandere Licorice Cookie#Yandere Pomegranate Cookie#Yandere Poison Mushroom Cookie#Yandere Schwarzwälder#Chocofam#Gemfam#Darkfam
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The themes of regret, grief, and guilt have been in my mind lately, particularly regarding my sweet angel child-Damian.
It’s a pretty consistent theme in the comics that Damian believes he is not good enough, he’s a monster, that he’s not like his father or siblings, and that he’s full of uncontrollable anger, malice, and spite.
And while of course each batkid (and especially Bruce) have their own unique experiences with guilt and regret, I can’t help but imagine what all of that must feel like to a kid so young, who is incredibly skilled and highly intelligent, yet also very naive in a way that a child is about the world and their place in it.
Damian is frustrated when people don’t understand his harshness and his intense motivations, as it creates a barrier in the way he relates to his family. Additionally, he is barely able to step out of his own perspective as a child, preteen, and even young teenager to understand other people’s ways and motivations. This would certainly be incredibly isolating, having this drive and intensity you were tortured to develop and that you are now being told is wrong even though that’s all you know. But more than anything, he just wants to please someone, and it feels like they just keep misunderstanding him. This, of course, is not to say they didn’t try. Dick, Alfred and Bruce are his heroes for a damn good reason, but it took a great deal of time and constant redirection.
Even now, as an early teen, he’s still struggling with maintaining all the work he’s done on himself to reframe his self image and control his emotions. YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS FOR A 14/15 YEAR OLD TO CONTROL THEIR EMOTIONS?!?!
Do you know how much guilt and regret that must take, to keep him on track?
His desire to please is so strong because each small bit of praise that he earns reinforces this very feeble idea that, maybe, just maybe, he is good, and is doing something right. Each time he hears these things, it slowly erodes that constant weight on his tiny little shoulders of the guilt he carries everyday.
I can’t help but think of all the times he pleaded with himself and some high figure or something to “please, make me good like Richard. Help me be better. Help me be like Father. Please, please please” as silent sobs gripped his tiny frame and tears poured down onto his pillow.
Or all the times where he is sketching or training or just trying to exist and is hit with a wave of guilt as he has a flashback about his time in the league or even his early days in Gotham. Those are the days when his sketches get crumped because “it’s not worth it to even try to create something beautiful” in those moments. And how he refuses to wrap his hands as he hits the punching bag over and over again, feeling a small bit of relief at every spilt knuckle because “I deserve this pain” is all he can think.
Still til this day, as nightmares come and go, he lies there in bed and repeats to himself that “yes, that was me, i did kill, i did slaughter”, and even though what he just experienced in his dream wasn’t real, it was all at one time very, very real.
There were times when he wouldn’t eat breakfast after he lay up all night, coming to terms with his past self, reasoning that breakfast is for people that deserve it. He must instead punish his body for the its sins. Seeking comfort to placate his conscious was weakness as well. He did his best to hide his guilt and suffering from Dick and Alfred and Bruce, as it was not their cross to bear.
What he forgets, and still often forgets, is that he is and was just a child. And what he is trying to learn is that everyone has regrets, but we are not our past, we are our efforts to create a better future self. It gets a little better each day. He is trying.
At least now, he has given himself the permission to seek out the love and comfort he so desperately craves. When he silently pads into Bruce’s room at night, Bruce understands. They don’t speak, not then at least, but Damian no longer constantly denies himself the goodness that he is learning he deserves.
#damian wayne#robin#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#damian al ghul#dick grayson#batman#dc comics#batfamily#batfam#dc#damian wayne headcanon#guilt and shame#light angst
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Only When It's Us — JJK ,, index ,, about taglist
Chapter 02 — distraction ✎
fic summary: you both say it’s nothing serious, but with every touch and argument, it gets harder to stay away.
nsfw warnings: smut; lots of kissing, lots of touching lol, oral (male recieving, fem too? kinda), sucking fingers, doggy style, unprotected sex (shes using birth control so yep, be safe!) use of ‘good girl’
wc: 6k
📜 permanent taglist: @lovieku @kyuupii @fluttershypoo @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @mar-lo-pap @jungkooks-wife @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @leemonis-blog
📜 series taglist: @deepikhaprakash @rjooniesdimples @sweetmimosa28
abt series taglist: send me an ask w the series title !!
“i have to go.”
“why don’t you just come back home? you can start over, and this time, maybe you’ll be more like your brother.”
you sigh.
“mom, i don’t want to be him,” you say quietly, trying to keep the frustration out of your voice. on the other end, you hear her let out a soft, disapproving tsk, a sound that always manages to make you feel a little smaller.
“aren’t you clearly struggling with school? if you were here with us, with your brother, we’d help you. you’d be fine,” she insists, as if coming home would magically fix everything.
you roll your eyes.
“i really have to go.”
“___, just listen to—”
but before she can finish, you end the call, staring at the blank screen for a moment.
there’s an unsettling feeling in your chest, one that refuses to fade, no matter how much you try to brush it off. its like a quiet reminder of all the things you’re trying to avoid.
go back home?
after everything you’ve been through to study what you want, to finally live on your own terms. every argument, every latenight fight with your parents, all just to claim a bit of freedom.
you worked so hard to break free from their expectations, to stand on your own.
you even transferred universities just to escape the constant pressure back in your hometown. no matter what you did, it was never enough. every choice was somehow wrong, not ‘their way.’
you can’t go back now.
not until you’ve made it, not until you have something real to prove them wrong. you have to be successful, if only to show them that your way was the right way all along.
“hey, are you done thinking? never seen anyone contemplate cheerios this hard.”
min yoongi’s low voice pulls you out of your thoughts. you look up, finding him behind the cash register, his lips curving into a small smile.
“just wondering if i can actually trust your store’s products. what if you are some sort of cheerio secret agent and you're trying to poison me?” you joke, handing him the money.
“oh no, you figured it out. we’ve been poisoning the cheerios. now how am i gonna explain to my boss that our mission failed?” he dramatically placesb a hand on his forehead as if you revealed his deepest darkest secret. you can’t help but chuckle, the tension in your chest loosening just a bit.
“bad day?” he asks, his gaze softening a bit as he opens the cash register.
min yoongi; your friend.
well, he's more like your senior. he graduated last year and he is working parttime at this convenience store cuz he thinks in this way he could spend some time outside.
you didn't question him about it any further.
you don’t usually come here unless it’s an emergency, and breakfast for tomorrow qualifies as pretty urgent, or so you tell yourself.
“something like that,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
he nods slightly. “well,” he begins, “i’m sorry i can’t give you a discount,” he adds, trying to lighten the mood.
you chuckle, the corners of your mouth lifting. “aw, that’s too bad. i thought i might get these cheerios for free.”
he smiles softly, “maybe some other time,"
you smile back at yoongi and turn to leave. but then you almost bump your head against a man’s chest, stumbling back in surprise.
that was close.
you look up to apologize, but your words get caught in your throat as you take in his appearance.
he’s handsome.
no, that doesn’t even begin to cover it. his face is sculpted to perfection, with sharp cheekbones and a jawline that could cut glass. his dark eyes seem to pierce right through you, and his long, dark hair falls effortlessly over his forehead.
but there’s something else,
he looks... mad?
you quickly gather yourself, your cheeks warming slightly. “sorry,” you blurt out, stepping aside to let him pass.
as you walk out of the store, you catch a snippet of conversation behind you.
“are you still upset about her, jungkook?” yoongi’s voice carries just enough for you to hear.
you try to shake it off, not wanting to dwell on whatever is unfolding behind you. it’s not your business, after all.
you step outside, the cool air hitting your face as you leave the store, and try to focus on the tasks ahead of you.
“it doesn’t make any sense, hyung,” jungkook scoffs, the frustration bubbling up inside him.
“when did she ever make sense?” yoongi replies dryly, not backing down as he meets jungkook’s glare. the tension in the air feels thick, but yoongi isn’t afraid to speak his mind.
“from my point of view, you’re now a free man. free from all the bullshit you’ve been through,” yoongi explains, hoping to lift jungkook’s spirits.
“what bullshit? i was happy. we were happy,” jungkook frowns, his confusion evident. he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, struggling to comprehend yoongi’s words.
“that’s what she wanted you to think,” yoongi replies, his tone serious. “and to be honest, that’s what you always did. you did whatever she wanted. you changed for her.”
“i loved her,” jungkook insists, his voice a bit softer but still filled with conviction, as if saying it out loud would make it true.
“did you? really?” yoongi presses, searching jungkook’s eyes for any hint of doubt. he knows this is a tough conversation, but it needs to be talked out.
jungkook looks away and mutters. “you don’t get it,”
yoongi’s expression softens. he presses his lips together as he looks at jungkook, feeling bad for him. “i’m sorry, jungkook. but you really have to let it go now. it’s been two weeks. it’s time to start moving on.”
jungkook stays silent.
instead of responding, he reaches for a lollipop displayed near the cash register, the bright colors contrasting sharply with his gloomy mood. he hands yoongi some money, more than what the lollipop costs, as if he’s paying for more than just candy.
“do you want the change, or can i keep it as a tip for my great service slash friendship?” yoongi tries to lighten the mood, hoping to bring a smile to jungkook’s face.
and it does.
jungkook’s lips curl into a faint smile, a small but genuine response. “keep it,” he says softly.
as jungkook turns to leave, yoongi watches him go, feeling sad for his friend.
“bad day indeed.”
you're sat on a bench in the park near the convenience store, lost in your own thoughts. the quiet sounds of the evening settle around you, the faint rustle of leaves, the distant hum of traffic, and your own sighs mingling with the cool air.
you’re not really thinking about anything in particular, just letting your mind wander in that aimless way it does when everything feels overwhelming.
then, a loud voice cuts through your thoughts.
“no, i know you're hiding something from me!” someone snaps, his voice taut with irritation. “fine! have it your way then.”
curious, you glance over and recognize him immediately; the same man from earlier at the store, the one you’d nearly bumped into.
he’s pacing as he talks on his phone, one hand running through his dark hair in exasperation. his jaw is clenched, his brows furrowed, and you can practically feel the tension radiating off him even from a distance.
after a moment, he ends the call with an aggravated sigh, stuffing his phone into his pocket as he makes his way into the park, still visibly upset. he barely notices his surroundings as he walks closer to where you’re sitting.
he sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, muttering something under his breath as if willing the frustration to melt away. you can’t help but stare a little, like an idiot.
then his eyes snap open and land directly on you.
“got a problem with me?” his voice is sharp, cutting through the silence between you.
you blink, startled, and stand up instinctively. “excuse me?”
he turns fully to face you, his eyes never leaving yours. “i asked, you got a problem with me?”
“no.” you shake your head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“good.”
wow. nice attitude.
just as you’re about to walk away, he calls out again.
“never seen you around here before.”
“pardon?” you turn back, surprised.
“you’re yoongi's friend, right?” he asks,
you cross your arms, giving him a wary look. “why do you care?”
he shrugs, almost nonchalant. “my bad, just curious. never seen yoongi smile at a normal customer before, so i assumed.”
“oh,” you reply, softening just a bit. “well, i guess you could say we're friends.”
he raises an eyebrow, an amused smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “you guess?”
you offer a small shrug of your own. “he used to help me when i was still a freshman, and he still tries to whenever he can. i'd say he's like my teacher, in a way. it’s not like we hang out or anything, though.”
he tilts his head, considering your words. “well, consider yourselves friends. trust me, he doesn’t just help anyone.”
you narrow your eyes slightly, still wary. “and who are you, exactly?”
“jeon jungkook,” he says, extending a hand with a surprisingly polite nod. instinctively, you reach out and shake it, his grip firm. “since you're yoongi's friend, i think we go to the same university. though this is the first time i’m seeing you.”
“same, i am ___,” you pull your hand back.
“what are you doing here, in the middle of the night? didn’t your parents ever tell you not to go out alone?” he asks, the way he talks is somewhere between teasing and serious. you can't quiet get what it is but something about it grates on your nerves, like he's playing at being concerned but in a way that feels almost mocking.
“i could ask you the same thing,” you shoot back, meeting his gaze head on.
he doesn’t flinch, only tilts his head slightly. “i always come here,” he says, his voice calm, almost like a matterof fact.
“same,” you respond. “during the day.”
he quirks a brow, “so why are you in my night shift?”
you scoff, a laugh slipping out before you can stop it. “this isn’t your place or ‘shift,’ you know."
“well, you come here during the day; i come here at night. sounds like shifts to me,” he says with a shrug, and you catch the playfulness on his face.
“guess i’m overtiming, then,” you say, glancing away to hide your own smirk. “don’t mind me.”
he stays silent.
“you’ve got your own shit to deal with, huh?” he says, his voice breaking the quiet.
“why are you talking to me?” you blurt out, catching him a little off guard. “i mean, you don’t even know me.”
he raises an eyebrow, unphased. “i could ask you the same thing,” he replies, mimicking your answer from before.
you narrow your eyes, folding your arms. “i don’t think i want to talk about my problems with a random stranger.”
“problems…” he echoes, looking you up and down like he’s trying to figure you out. “let me guess. got into a fight with your boyfriend?”
“no,” you say quickly, rolling your eyes. “i don’t have one.” for a second, you think you catch a flicker of surprise on his face. “what about you? girlfriend mad at you?”
his face shifts, something almost vulnerable passing over his features before he looks away. “guess you could say that,” he mutters. “since she broke things off with me.”
a silence stretches between you two.
“i’m… sorry to hear that,” you finally say, feeling the awkwardness settle around you.
you didn't expect that.
honestly, the idea of someone like him getting dumped hadn’t even crossed your mind. a guy who looks like that—that intense aura—doesn’t exactly seem like the type to get left behind.
you assumed he’d be the one calling the shots, the one walking away. but here he is, single and clearly dealing with the aftermath of something that’s weighing on him. its surprising.
a thought crosses yourmind.
if someone could leave him, someone who had a place in his life and a claim to his heart, maybe he’s not as perfect as he seems on the outside. maybe there’s something beneath the surface, something that’s harder to deal with than his looks would suggest.
it’s like a puzzle you didn’t even mean to start solving, yet here you are, wondering if there’s more to him than just that handsome face.
but then you shake the thought away. he’s a stranger. a random guy you happened to bump into, quite literally, at a park in the middle of the night. it’s not like you’ll see him again after tonight. or, at least, that’s what you’re telling yourself.
because, really, why should you care?
whatever his story is, it’s none of your business.
“anyway, hope you figure your problems out.” he says, his gaze flickering away as if he’s eager to dodge any deeper conversation.
“likewise,” you reply.
without warning, he pulls a lollipop from his pocket, holding it out to you. “here,” he says, waiting for you to take it.
you reach out slowly, raising an eyebrow. “thanks?”
he smirks, “again, did your parents never tell you not to take candy from strangers?”
“maybe i like to be a little rebellious,” you say, smirking back at him and he shakes his head smiling.
“well, go ahead, eat it. i don’t want you tossing it away. i spent a lot on that sucker,” he says, a playful grin spreading across his face. despite the oddness of the moment, a corner of your mouth quirks up.
you unwrap the lollipop, examining it with a critical eye before giving him a look that says it all.
he catches it, tilting his head in curiosity. “what?”
“i don’t think i like raspberry flavor,” you admit, holding the lollipop up like a trophy of sorts.
he squints at you, “you’ve never tasted one before?”
you shrug, trying to sound nonchalant. “i don’t like raspberries, so i’m guessing this is more of the same.”
he shakes his head, lips twitching into a smirk. “that’s pretty bold, making assumptions without even trying it.”
“just give it a taste; maybe you'll like it,” he suggests, a teasing smile forming on his lips, clearly wanting you to try it. deep down, he doesn't even like raspberry flavor; he just picked it out randomly at the store.
“uh, no thanks. i don’t want that nasty taste on my tongue,” you reply, scrunching your nose a little . “but thanks, you could have—”
your words are abruptly cut off as he grabs your hand, the lollipop still held tightly between your fingers. in one swift motion, he leans in, wrapping his mouth around it. his tongue swirls around the candy, and then he pulls it out, his lips glistening with a reddish-pink hue that matches the flavor.
you're completely taken aback, eyes widening in shock.
oh what the fuck.
“yeah, you’re right. it does taste nasty,” he says, licking his lips as he releases your hand. “give it to me, i'll just throw it away or something”
suddenly, the lollipop feels trivial compared to what he just did. you stand there, completely speechless, your mind and heart racing as you try to process what jus happened.
“what?” he stares at you.
“you’re good with your tongue,” you say, the words slipping out before you can really think them through.
he pauses, his eyes widening for a second, and he chokes on nothing, almost like he’s been caught off guard mid-breath. “uh, what?” he finally manages, blinking rapidly.
realizing how that might’ve sounded, “i just meant... the lollipop. you seemed pretty skilled with it,” you clarify, though you’re aware it’s not really helping.
what are you even trying to say?
he looks at you, a smirk playing on his lips now. “uh-huh, sure,” he says, teasing you. “that’s what you meant.”
you roll your eyes, trying to play it cool. “don’t flatter yourself, i was just making an observation.”
but the way he’s looking at you now, dark eyes glittering with amusement and something else you can’t quite place, makes it hard to pretend that slip of the tongue didn’t mean more than you intended.
“so, do you want to suck on it?”
“huh?” you blink.
suck on what now?
“the lollipop” he clarifies, a small smile playing on his lips.
oh.
you clear your throat, fighting to keep a neutral expression. “no, definitely not, especially now that you had your tongue all over it.” you try to scrunch your nose, but any attempt at showing disgust falls flat with the heat rising in your cheeks.
“alright then, just asking if you changed your mind,” he shrugs, still holding your gaze.
“i still don’t want it,” you say quickly, trying to sound convincing.
“okay.” he blinks, unfazed.
“okay,” you repeat, awkwardly.
he gestures to the lollipop still in your hand. “uh, so… are you gonna keep holding it?”
you glance down, pulling your hand back. “i’m gonna throw it away,” you declare, though it feels a bit ridiculous now, given everything that just happened.
“i hope so,” he says, one side of his lips quirking up.
why do you kind of like his smile?
you try to shake your thought off, tossing the lollipop into a nearby trash can, trying to act as casual as possible.
“well, guess that's the end of that,” you say, hoping to sound nonchalant. he nods as he crosses his arms.
you raise an eyebrow, mimicking his stance. “do you usually hand out half-eaten lollipops to strangers?”
he laughs, low and soft, the sound surprisingly warm in the quiet night. “only when they look like they need a little distraction.”
you tilt your head. “oh? and what made you think i needed one?”
his eyes meet yours, his expression softening. “just a hunch,” he says, his voice dropping to a murmur. “we all got stuff we’d rather not think about, right?”
a pause.
there’s something unspoken between you two, a quiet understanding in the way you hold each other’s gaze.
he's right.
you are stressing about things you'd rather not think about, things that seem to cling to your mind no matter how hard you try to push them away.
and then there's him, a stranger but somehow not, going through his own mess. you can see it in his tired eyes, the way he keeps looking off into the distance as if trying to shake off whatever weight he's carrying.
you realize you don’t mind it; you don’t mind his company, or even the strange comfort of this shared silence.
both of you are here, each trying to forget whatever it is that’s eating at you. maybe that’s why this moment feels so easy.
”yeah,” you finally say, “guess we do.”
“i gotta go now,” you announce, hoping to put an end to whatever weird tension is building between the two of you.
he doesn't say anything. no goodbyes, no attempts to stop you. so you turn and start walking away, trying to shake off whatever just happened.
but before you can take more than a few steps, his hand shoots out, wrapping around your wrist. you stop, surprised, and turn back to face him. his grip isn’t tight, but it’s firm enough to make you pause.
you meet his gaze, and there's something in his eyes—something intense, something that makes your stomach flip.
“would you like a distraction?” he asks, voice low, almost like a whisper meant just for you.
you blink, not sure if you heard him right. “what?” you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
instead of answering, he tugs you gently closer. your body stumbles forward, and your hands land on his chest to steady yourself. his heartbeat is strong under your palm, and suddenly, everything feels too close, too intense.
he looks down at you, his eyes flickering over your face like he’s searching for something. “i think i do,” he mutters. “don’t you?”
your mind is racing, trying to make sense of this.
is he asking what you think he’s asking?
he’s a stranger. someone you barely know beyond a couple of conversations and an awkward encounter in a convenience store.
yet there’s something about the way he’s looking at you, something that makes it hard to think straight.
“yes,” you hear yourself say before you can even process it.
his lips curve into a satisfied smile, and without another word, he leans in and kisses you.
the world seems to stop as his mouth meets yours. it’s not hesitant or soft; it’s urgent, as if he’s been wanting this for longer than the short time you’ve known him. his hands slide up to your face, cupping your cheeks as he deepens the kiss.
your fingers clutch his shirt, feeling the heat of his body against yours. it’s messy and impulsive, and he doesn't even care that you’re both in the middle of a park, under the dim glow of the streetlights.
right now, all you can think about is him. the way he tastes, the way he kisses you desperately.
maybe you do need this distraction.
his hands grip your waist, pulling you closer, and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, letting the kiss deepen. his lips are soft, and you moan as if you're melting into the kiss. there's something about the way his mouth moves against yours; like he's been waiting to do this.
“wait—” you pant as pull back, your heart pounding against your ribs, trying to gather your thoughts. he looks into your eyes, his brows furrowing slightly as he asks in a low voice, “what happened?”
“we're... we're outside,” you point out, glancing around.
he tilts his head, his brows raising slightly as if that’s the least of his concerns. “so?” his voice is low and almost teasing, like he finds your hesitation cute.
you let out a scoffing laugh, “what do you mean so?wee’re literally in a children’s park.” you gesture to the swings and slides nearby, deserted at this hour but still... it’s a public space.
he pauses for a second, “my car’s parked just over there,” he nods towards a sleek vehicle at the edge of the park, his lips curling into a smile. “we could, uh... relocate or—”
before you can even process that, your curiosity gets the better of you. “wait— you have a car?” you cut in, a little surprised.
he chuckles. “yeah, and it’s a pretty one at that.” there’s a glint in his eyes that says he’s enjoying this back-and-forth with you, like it’s some sort of game.
you sigh, still trying to wrap your head around the craziness of this entire situation. “okay,” you murmur, almost to yourself, deciding to just go with it. what’s the worst that could happen?
he releases his grip on you, but only so he can grab your hand and guide you towards the car. the walk feels a little awkward now, a heavy tension hanging in the air. you're not sure what to say.
what’s the protocol for walking towards a car with a guy you’re about to hook up with?
as if sensing your nerves, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze. “come on, my car’s comfy. don’t worry,” he says with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. the way he’s holding your hand... it’s surprisingly tender, making it feel just a little less awkward.
when you reach the car, he opens the back seat door for you. you hesitate for a second, “you won’t, like, kidnap me or something, right?” you half-joke.
he lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “for someone who’s so aware of the things you shouldn’t be doing, you sure do them anyway,” he teases. his words send a shiver down your spine, both a warning and an invitation.
but you ignore that nagging voice in the back of your mind. instead, you climb into the seat and he follows you right away.
“why are you—” your words are cut off as he crashes his lips against yours, the urgency in his kiss making you lose your breath. one of his hands grips your waist, pulling you against him, while the other tangles in your hair, tugging gently to tilt your head for better access.
the way his lips move against yours, hot and hungry, sends sparks shooting down your spine, and before you know it, you're moaning into his mouth, matching his intensity. your hands scramble to find something to hold onto, eventually locking behind his neck as if he's your lifeline.
“are we seriously gonna fuck in your car?” you gasp, your words shaky when he pulls away just enough to start trailing hot kisses down the side of your neck. your legs wrap around his waist instinctively, drawing him closer.
“no,” he breathes and sucks on a sensitive spot just beneath your ear, his teeth grazing the skin before he soothes it with a slow lick. “just couldn’t stop myself,” he admits, voice low and breathy, and then his mouth is back on yours, devouring you with a hunger that makes your head spin.
your hands move restlessly over his broad shoulders, wanting to feel more, wishing his clothes were gone so you could touch him everywhere.
his hands roam your body like he's memorizing it, fingers pressing into the curves of your waist, teasingly brushing against your chest. each touch has you arching into him, wishing he'd just tear your clothes apart already.
it's all too good.
too overwhelming, and before you know it, five minutes have passed with the two of you tangled in each other. when he finally pulls back, panting, his lips are swollen and glistening. your chest rises and falls rapidly as you try to catch your breath, both of you staring at each other in the dim light of the car.
he’s leaning back slightly, his hard on pressing against your thigh. it’s impossible not to notice how turned on he is, and it only makes your own arousal spike.
you're so fucking wet right now.
you’re laid back on the seat, eyes locked on him, watching the way he runs a hand through his disheveled hair, pushing it back revealing his forehead.
“hotel? or my place?” he asks, trying to catch his breath “hotel’s just a minute away, but my place… well, it’s a bit further.”
you can practically see the options laid out in your mind like a checklist.
a) go to the hotel, have your fun, and slip away without looking back. no strings, no regrets. just a quick fuck and disappear like it never happened.
b) go to his place, let him fuck the shit out of you, see if he’s worth all this heat between your thighs. maybe wake up in his bed with his arms still wrapped around you... and if he's good enough, maybe get his number so it doesn’t have to be a one time thing.
you bite your lip, your decision already made before you even realize it.
“yours.”
the drive to his apartment is quick, the tension between you both barely held back. you're glad it’s late at night, because the two of you can’t seem to keep your hands off each other and you don't want anyone witnessing it.
the second you step into his apartment, the door slams shut behind you, and it's a scramble to rid each other of clothing. shirts are yanked off, belts undone, pants shoved down until you're both stumbling towards his bedroom in a mess of heated kisses and needy touches.
“o-oh fuck—yes baby, suck it just like that,” jungkook throws his head back, moaning, his breath ragged. he’s sprawled on the bed, legs spread wide, hands gripping the sheets. you're on your knees between his thighs, sucking him hard, your lips stretching around his thick length.
you glance up at him, eyes half lidded, watching the way his abs flex as he tries to keep himself steady. “shit... you look so fucking hot,” he rasps out, voice rough. his gaze darkens, and he pushes himself up, one hand threading through your hair.
“can you take it, baby?” he asks, his voice low, a hint of a challenge in his tone.
you know exactly what he’s asking. you nod, barely managing it with your mouth full, and he smiles, almost wickedly, his eyes gleaming.
“good,” he murmurs, his grip tightening just enough on your hair. “tap me if it’s too much.” and with that, he starts moving his hips, fucking into your mouth with slow, deep thrusts.
you gag slightly as he pushes deeper, but you relax your throat, trying to take him in. the room is filled with the wet, obscene sounds of him moving in and out, his groans echoing off the walls.
“fuck—you’re taking me so well, baby,” he praises, his voice thick and raspy, sending a wave of heat straight to your core. each time his cock hits the back of your throat, it forces a choked gasp from him, his hands instinctively tightening in your hair.
your eyes water, tears pooling at your lashes, but you don’t stop, even as your throat aches. your nails dig into his firm thighs, using them for balance as he fucks your throat. you want to show him just how much you can handle.
“i’m gonna—” he grunts, voice rough and strained. a hot burst of his release fills your mouth, and you swallow it all, not breaking eye contact with him for a second. his chest heaves as he watches you, mesmerized, as your tongue slides slowly along his length, cleaning up every drop. his jaw clenches, the sight clearly driving him wild.
“get up,” he orders, voice still a little breathless, and you obey instantly, letting him pull you to your feet. “on the bed, all fours.”
you get onto the mattress, positioning yourself as he asked. there's a moment of stillness as you feel his gaze roam over your exposed body. your heart races, anticipation building as you wait for his next move.
“you’re dripping,” he murmurs, leaning in closer until his breath is hot against your soaked core. he licks a slow, deliberate stripe along your folds, and your eyes flutter shut, a soft, breathy moan escaping your lips. his mouth envelops your pussy, sucking and licking with an rhythm that makes your thighs tremble.
he pulls back just enough to catch his breath before moving up, positioning himself between your legs. his right hand trails upward, skimming over your skin until his fingers brush against your lips.
instinctively, you part them, taking his fingers into your mouth, sucking and swirling your tongue around them. the low chuckle that escapes him tells you just how much he enjoys it.
“you like that, hm?” he asks. you moan softly around his fingers, your response muffled but desperate.
he withdraws his fingers, his lips curving into a satisfied smirk. leaning down, he wraps an arm around your waist, lifting you slightly until your back is against his chest. you can feel his length pressing against your ass, you move your hips a little causing a little friction.
his hands slide over your breasts, kneading them with just enough pressure to send shivers down your spine.
you melt into his touch, your head lolling back against his shoulder as his fingers pinch and roll your hardened nipples, sending sparks of pleasure through your body.
“want me to fuck you, baby?” his voice is soft against your shoulder as he places feather light kisses along your skin. he nips gently, his hands never stopping their teasing, and you can’t help the whimper that escapes when his fingers pinch just a bit harder.
“y-yes,” you mewl, voice shaky with need, “fuck me, jungkook.”
he squeezes your breasts harder, a groan rumbling from his chest as he sinks his teeth lightly into the curve of your shoulder.
“yeah? can i fuck you raw?” he whispers, his breath hot against your ear.
“yes,” you gasp, your voice barely more than a whimper. “p-please.”
his grip on you loosens slightly, and he leans back to look at you, his eyes dark, like he's stopping himself. “you sure?” he asks, one last time, his tone gentle but urgent.
you nod quickly, breathless. “i’m on the pill,” you assure him, and the tension in his shoulders eases.
“fuck. okay, bend over.”
without hesitation, you resume your previous position, arching your back and presenting yourself to him. he groans softly at the sight, his hand sliding down to rub slow circles over your entrance.
he teases you, slipping a finger inside, making you moan softly as your walls flutter around him. he withdraws his finger, watching the way you clench around nothing, desperate for more.
grabbing his cock, he taps the swollen tip against your slick hole. you whine, impatience leaking into your voice, “just fuck me already.”
a smirk curves his lips, and without another word, he pushes into you.
you grip the sheets tightly as you take him in fully, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. a choked gasp escapes your lips, eyes squeezing shut at the delicious burn that quickly morphs into pleasure.
each inch fills you so completely, leaving you breathless, your body trembling at the feeling.
“fuck,” he groans behind you, his voice low and rough, a sound that makes your toes curl. “you’re so tight, baby... taking me so fucking good.” the words are almost a growl, filled with barely restrained control as he fights the urge to pound into you.
his hands move to your hips, gripping them hard enough to leave marks, steadying himself as he sinks even deeper.
your moans spill freely now, raw and needy, muffled slightly by the pillow you bury your face into. he starts to move, slowly at first, pulling out just enough before thrusting back in, his cock brushing against that sweet spot inside you.
the rhythm is torturously slow, each stroke making you whimper, your back arching even further in a silent plea for more.
“please... more,” you manage to gasp out, your voice shaky. “jungkook, i need it.. need you.”
“yeah?” he rasps, picking up the pace, thrusts becoming sharper, each one driving you into the mattress. “want it harder, baby? want me to ruin you?”
“yes.. yes mmph- more!” you cry, your voice breaking as he slams into you harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. your nails claw at the sheets, the friction of his hips against your ass making stars dance behind your eyelids.
his fingers snake around to your front, finding your swollen clit, and he rubs it in tight, quick circles. your entire body jolts, your hips bucking back against him as you let out a loud, broken moan.
“oh, fuck, that’s it, that's a good fucking girl,” he hisses, feeling you clench around him, your walls fluttering as you near the edge.
“you’re gonna cum for me, aren’t you?” he growls against your ear, bending over you now, his hot breath fanning against your neck. he bites down on your shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to drive you wild.
“you're gonna cum like the good girl you are?”
“yes n-ngh.. i’m close.. s-so close,” you whimper, your thighs trembling uncontrollably. his fingers press harder against your clit, his thrusts turning frantic.
“cum with me, baby” he demands, his voice thick and commanding. that’s all it takes. your body shatters. your vision going white as you scream his name. your walls squeeze him so tightly, milking his cock, and with a deep, guttural groan, he loses himself too, spilling inside you as his thrusts grow sloppy.
he stays buried inside you, his chest heaving against your back, both of you panting heavily. he leans down to press soft, lazy kisses along your shoulder.
after everything that just happened. you've made up your mind.
you're definitely going to ask for his number.
a/n: erm.. don't get into random strangers cars !! haha
#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader#fanfic#bts jungkook#jungkook smut#bts fanfiction#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook fanfic#jjk x y/n#jungkook x y/n#fanfiction
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🎶Come lie with me, in the grass, and you'll be, in a world full of pure procrastination!🎶
#i can't express how grateful i am knowing this is my backyard#i really want to invite a few peeps out here and use those purple bounty flowers to make flower crowns and plant some shit#alas my social battery is one of those lithium ones that explode after prolonged exposure#maybe after this term is done and over with#if i could have a moss bed in the middle of this grass id be in paradise#i hope one day if i can ever own a home i can get a place like this again#the landlady has been cool these past few years shes a real one#people dont understand that you can be working a full time gig and still be homeless cause everything is priced out#we got lucky she understood the assignment#also im bummed out i havent seen any snakes out here#i thought there'd at least be some gopher snakes#waiting for the toadies to come out#tangents and bullshit aside i hope the sunshine makes you feel a little better 💙
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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore
#jack facts#people be banging on about empathy this empathy that#and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what#that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol#and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before#i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia#or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc#anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept#and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity#the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING#to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy#and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad#but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective#and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person#or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation#another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm#done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations#that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over#i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions#and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol#like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like#fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting
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♟️🐈⬛ is so perfect to me because they just. Get. each other. also they come into the relationship with kids who aren't their kids but one of them is basically their kid so they fall asleep watching bluey or blues clues a lot
#♟️ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#🐈⬛ 🖇️ 🐈⬛#grim 'i'm not a kid! i'm basically the same age as the other guys!' of w.akanda#its ok grim i fall victim to kids tv to 😔#anyways#i think. when they get older (maybe way prior to when they get married) elvira presents grim to her Mother and is like 'look at him! you've#accepted him as your son for over fifty years! he has been my son for longer. you should totally let me and leona skip having kids since we#both only agreed on one'#and then her Mother is like 'lmao i love both of you but i am a fertility goddess for a reason so :)'#and boom the twins and then they're done#i dont think they get married until after their kids are grown though#there's def some pressure from his family but hers really dgaf lmao#besides i think after a certain point it gets to where hes spending 85% of his time in the multiverse and its somewhat better over there#(ignoring that it is. in fact. a m.arvel universe.)#he goes back to t.wst one day n gets hit with the 'well well well look what the monkey dragged in' and he immediately responds with 'i dont#want to be here. my gf and her family forced me to leave for my own safety or wtv'#anyways.#🐅 🖇️ 🌬️ 🖇️ 🐍 🖇️ 🐈⬛#i love the idea of the lesbians (aave-l) including leona in their relationship despite him being a Man#i think the transition into him being apart of the relationship was as seamless as it was for him n elvira to finally get together#in terms of accepting him i think it was elvira -> aimil -> valentine -> ainya -> leilani (after some time)#(leilani tried to kill him multiple times i just know)#they all go back to t.wst with him one day and someone turns to leona and is like 'wow. you sure have been collecting some lovers'#'actually i haven't. we're more like their (elvira and aimil's) lovers. they've been collecting us like strays' because is he wrong?#i think the only thing that sets them apart is that while aave-l are married in the eyes of the gods. he's not#bc. yh. while his lifespan is extended greatly. its because of radiation exposure#he hasnt died or been reborn/resusitated by any of them and i think they'd rather keep it that way lmao#they also def keep his phantom around for funsies lmao#elvira 'yeah i kinda kept some of their phantoms cause they looked so sad they were gonna disappear :( they've been living with me on#ramshackle grounds n helping out so maybe they could help out here' of w.akanda
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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hiii:33!! friendly reminder that someone can enjoy a character that has done heinous things and not support said heinous things
usually when a character does Bad Things in a narrative (espec if they're not the protagonist) it is Portrayed As Bad so people who enjoy the character Likely Know They Are Bad
& either way harassing people over enjoying a fictional character is just really childish
if you don't like the character, that is perfectly valid. but there's never any reason to characterise everyone who likes said character as Evil, and/or imply they condone the character's negative actions.
also sometimes i look at internet discourse and it's like people want morally grey characters but then turn around when "morally grey" is not always "i have my own rules but i still make all the right choices !!" some of y'all just need to admit you just like good characters that's fine not everyone is into the spice it's ok to like that good protagonist energy
;;;not saying every character i'm referring to fits in that "morally grey" category, some are just evil villains, but even then i'm sorry 90% of ur stories wouldn't exist without them. they drive the plot.
#not really a rant#being in the hazbin hotel rdr2 and genshin fandoms just rlly makes me question people sometimes#maybe tumblr's fine? idk i've only gotten more active on tumblr suuuper recently. but i've definitely seen some rancid stuff on#**other platforms#fandom#there's also definitely gender bias in this let's not lie to ourselves.#there are some things a character can do that they'd forgive in a man but not a woman and vise-versa#generally speaking people who go “i know she did the same thing but He's So Babygirl” or “he did the same thing but She's Just A Girlboss”#rlly annoy me#it's fine to like one character over another even if they're pretty similar and use those terms to describe them#but ive seen soo many people criticise one character but then suddenly forgive the same crimes from another character on the basis of gender#it's seriously annoying#idrc if a character has done bad things but is more complex like dutch van der linde#or is simply evil just because they can be like the three vee's#just stop. no i don't like them to romanticise their crimes. especially if you put it into a realistic context#shocker !! il dottore enjoyers do not want kids to be experimented on#sometimes i'll even just Mention a character i like and someone will just go “i hate them they're so ugly die die” like bro i know.#r u done now. be normal. i know ur being silly but it's annoying that i can't talk abt anything because y'all gotta make VERY clear that#so&so is a bad person like yea no duh!#anyways oop long tags 💀💀💀#maybe this was a rant after all. i've seen this moral purity with characters both online and in personal friend groups & i care abt my eps#but some of y'all gotta chill
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The fucking disconnect is so real.
#theo's thoughts#Story time for the people who love reading tags bc I love sharing things in the tags#So I work at a therapeutic day school and this past school year like four school days before Thanksgiving break I was asked a question#The question was if I would be willing to step up and be a long term sub in a middle school classroom#To me this was less of a question and more of a hey we need someone to do this and you're who the assistant teacher asked for#Which cool yeah fine I'll give it a go I really like that person (the assistant teacher who asked for me) and I trust her judgement on this#I was asked and accepted on Thursday. Friday‚ Monday‚ and Tuesday happen. Then three day Thanksgiving break#When we got back from break I was the teacher and it was rough at first and it sure as hell was never easy but I enjoyed it#My formal teacher observation was my boss basically going like so I see you doing all the things and the basis is there#But it's not being followed through on because of behaviors from the most unmedicated classroom I've seen in all my years working education#And now for the summer they're changing 2/3 staff that were in the room and who even knows who the teacher will be (a new hire? Maybe?)#If there truly is a new hire coming in (fed to the wolves immediately btw what a dick move) but that new hire will be the fourth teacher#These kids have had in a year? A year and a half max. The fourth. After the only thing I've been repeatedly told by admin for months#Is that we need to be stable and consistent because we may be these kids' only reliable source of that consistency and stability?#So you're going to have me come in and tell me I've done such a great job and then tell me you're moving me to 'give me a break'#Trauma informed care my fucking ass. I hope those kids raise fucking hell over it.#The brutal satisfaction of watching your own crops burn and knowing that the invaders will starve is great and all but these are kids!#They're barely just about to be teenagers (11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest) and this is what you're going to do to them?#Yes they can be complete assholes and are often dicks to one another but they're in our school for a fucking reason? I don't get it.#Then two hours later after being told abt the change‚ the clinical director puts me as one of the three main recipients in an email#Saying that there's going to be a new student starting in that room in the summer and the real icing on the cake?#This all happens on last day before summer break. we're out of session for two weeks now and you're just dropping these changes on us now?#God I'm so fucking tired
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Girl are you okay? Cause you've been looking through the "My lesbian experience with loneliness" tag again
Well the short answer is no :D
#the long answer is I saw one post of someone going 'well now that I'm 28 too maybe I'll try doing the same thing the protag does here''#and nearly cried because 28 is such a ridiculously long time away except not really except it's SO#fucking long and so close to what I was gaslit into believing I would ever have that I'd be lucky to make it to my thirties for no reason#and I never wanted anything different and just wanted to live and had panic attacks when reading but I'd still believe it was inevitable#and now I am suddenly having to come to terms with so much I want from life that I had resigned myself to never having because I couldn't#but how am I meant to do that? it's just hanging over my head now and it feels so stupid and I feel so out of place everywhere#it feels like I'm too bad at being a person to be loved and too angry to even admit I want to be#and too regretful to seek it because I'm scared of trampling over people's boundaries like people have done to me#and like I did too before I grew up and thought my way through having some empathy#why do only boys show any interest in me.... why is every friend I make entirely outside the range of people who could possibly reciprocate#why is it so easy for me to brush crushes aside aren't people supposed to suffer for this stuff#does that prove it's not a romantic crush and it's just that I want to be held and wanted#it feels so wrong to want this after fighting so much just to have fulfilling platonic relationships what's wrong with me#that I still want something else what more could I want this life is so ideal as far as 12 yo me is concerned#...when did my brain start viewing any and all kinds of want or ambition as doomed efforts for me?#I have such a headache all of a sudden#I think... the way I value self preservation has gotten all the way around into being harmful maybe#at least a little#everyone I know is nowhere near the amount of control freak as I am and they just go do things they want to do#have I seen them hurt over the consequences multiple times yes. but . I'm tired of hurting over absence#''did you know wishing you had more extreme and easily verifiable trauma is in itself proof of having undergone trauma'' well yeah but like#fuck why couldn't I be traumatized by anything else that wasn't literally the profession supposed to help you with all the trauma#delete later#like for real I want to delete it rn but I also don't
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Missing people and regretting shit o'clock
#why did i even let it come this far. 7 fucking months and i didn't realize what was going wrong so i could have saved it#i want him back fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#was thinking of this notebook i filled for him with memories and poetry and quotes and general mushy things and goddamn#why am i crying i just looked at my desk and i don't have the heart to put everything in a box so i don't see it every day when i wake up#i know i can't change it and it's probably over for good now after i fucked some things up extra hard but fuck do i miss him#i wish i could have done something in time before even the thought of breaking up came up#just when i thought for once things are working out for me and it was really fucking good and happy until a week before it ended#guess i just can't be happy. i never could#i was really really willing to talk things out and fix whatever needs to be fixed while staying together#not go separate ways and maybe not so maybe definitely not possibly maybe see if we can try again in the future#which we (spoiler) apparently won't and i kinda came to terms with that but i still wish there was a possibility#or at least i would have liked to know from the beginning and not spend weeks hoping for a reunion and working towards that specifically#while i seem to be the only one with that goal#idk i just wish it had been more thought through and talked about properly so there wouldn't be the misunderstandings we deal with now#and like boundaries for the first two months or so after that but it takes two i guess#disclaimer i'm not bitter or mad at anyone just sad and nostalgic. if the person in question reads this i love you ok that won't change#deleting later but now i need to go back to sleep before i kill myself on a whim#mel talks#depressed bitch posting#i know i know i know i did some shit too that wasn't great and i'm not saying i'm innocent here i'm just so depressed about the situation#it's been seven goddamn weeks it never took me this long to get over anything before
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im more awake now
#just needed an extended break ig#and to rant about my current degree program#well. this semester is just about halfway done#next term should be better and ideally after that i can officially declare into a biology major#it's just so tiring always feeling like i'm spoken over or that my opinion isn't wanted. even worse when it's one of my spins too#maybe if i was a different person i would stay and continue fighting#but idk i just. i can't do it. i don't think i can make it in that field#none of the jobs that i can maybe get are jobs i really want to do besides like. reception and lab work#(i don't even want to do administration anymore)
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I get why they didn't do it bc actresses feelings and stuff but I still really wish that there had been some kind of commiserating or voiced understanding between Alison and Hannah when Alison comes back and has pretty obviously gained a lot of weight instead of just pretending it wasn't happening and dressing Ali in baggier and baggier clothes she bullied Hannah into an eating disorder I want some kind of content about that I think it would be interesting
#ali grappling with weight gain despite obviously valuing her small size so much and then coming to terms with it wouldve been interesting#for a mean girl character#her apologizing to hannah and maybe hannah saying she wishes shed been able to see how beautiful she was before#idk for a show that had a whole ed plotline i think it was kind of a wasted oppritunity to do something interesting and empowering#also they shluldve dressed ali better when she came back they so obviously#disnt know how to dress anybodh over a size 2 so they just barely try or make her super super dressed up all the time#like sorry this girl is so stunning and u cant find flattering clothes for her body? skill issue tbh#again i understand wy they didnt the actress im sure had a lot of complex feelings about it#but it felt more like the show wanted to ignore it#also shouldve kept hannahs goth makeover after ali comes back to put herself apart from ali#i wanna watch pll so bad rn#im watching the detective video and crackin up but it just reminded me of this and i wish theyd done it
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my very honest opinion is that ian holm did not need to be in that new alien movie
#uhhhh me#i don't understand why they put out the whole practical effects ad campaign if they were going to use cgi to uncannily recreate someone#or maybe the ad campaign was to offset the potential audience reaction to it idk#his character didn't add anything to the plot. he did not need to be there.#if anything i think it would be much more suspenseful if the characters had to figure everything out themselves#or they could just say rook got uploaded into the ship and had just a voice actor speaking over the computers#we did not need to see his shockingly distracting cgi face#anyway basic review of the actual movie#it was fine#in terms of acting and effects and production it was good#in terms of an entry in the alien franchise i think it's just below prometheus and high above every other sequel after aliens#but it does feel like it's repeating some plot elements that was already done before#maybe relying a bit too much on grossout birth horror but that's probably just not the type of horror i'm into#i know it's wild to complain about birthing horror in the alien franchise lmao the entire franchise IS birthing horror#i just feel like this one is a little too unsubtle about it
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