Tumgik
#maybe a lot sad depending on the day
braisedhoney · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
waiting
2K notes · View notes
penisbilt · 5 months
Text
the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
12 notes · View notes
nxctern · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
There’s been something building up in my chest and mind for a while now
It’s an odd feeling
27 notes · View notes
toastsnaffler · 5 months
Text
wheres the "why is it so saaaad" image with the cat with big sopping watering eyes ouauauuugh how I feel is the embodiment of that
#ow....... my heart 🥹#im not even really sad about anything specific its just been such a long week. and probably the comedown is enhancing it#i just want to cry snottily into someones shirt for like half an hour and maybe ill be okay#its just so haaaard. and i think the meds do help a bit but it still takes effort on my part too. and it sucks a ljttle bit that theyll-#take a while to get used to and maybe therell still be some side effects anyway. and also they could be stopped by shortages at any time#i guess it just scares me a bit the idea of depending on smth like medication just to get a little closer to being a functional human#i wish that came with existing already.. but no point lamenting abt it. the cards have been dealt and its not all that bad really#i just want to be happy.... not all the time but maybe a solid 60-70% of the time. if thats not too much. dont we all girl!!#ah my life is pretty good as it is though and i have a lot to be grateful for. but im allowed to want a little more... right 🥹#im going to go to beddddd. hopefully ill sleep better tonight and tomorrow will be a nice day. at least i dont have to work yayy#ahhh. also its my birthday soon and it always makes me sad coming up to and having a birthday i dont know why..#i dont mind getting older but i guess it makes me feel quite reflective and sometimes its hard to think about the past/future#i want to be able to celebrate birthdays and let people be nice to me and have fun about it! and i say every year ill try better at it#but i never manage to get there it always feels like too much to ask for and too much to take.. ah. well its okay really#ill make myself a cake and do smth fun. and have a good cry at some point but thats just part of the day#not for another few weeks anyway.. okay 10pm lights out zzzz#.diaries
2 notes · View notes
viderose · 1 year
Text
he’s annoying, i don’t like him (he hasn’t given me as much attention lately)
#im fighting for my life out here#i feel so childish and annoying. like rationally ik i can’t have his undivided attention. but that doesn’t mean i don’t want it sometimes🥺#i think what actually is happening is that im worrying he’s about to ghost#i feel bad thinking that though. bc he seems like a very honest and mature person? with how he talks abt things i don’t think he would rly#ghost me after talking for this amount of time. but ya never can tell…. every time we don’t talk as much for a few days i get very nervous#and it’s weirdly quite difficult to push that worry out of my head. and then i get annoyed with myself for worrying about it to begin with#like i can’t control what he does so why worry about his hypothetical actions? i’ll deal w the consequences of them if or when they occur.#if we stop talking i’ll feel sad and i’ll miss him for a bit and then i’ll get over it. that’s all. it’s not that bad.#but anyway my point is we good#sometimes idk if id truly feel That sad. i think it depends how it ends.#or maybe i just don’t think anyone can hurt my feelings as much as the first person to hurt my feelings in a specific way#like you experience a loss or betrayal or grief - whatever - the first time and it’s all encompassing. it feels like it could genuinely kill#you it hurts so bad. and every subsequent loss or betrayal or grief you experience just isn’t the same? you barely flinch#maybe it’s because you learn to process those emotions better or maybe it’s keeping things at arm’s length as a protective measure#that means nothing hurts as much as the first thing#idk#this became a silly ramble#im just very attached to him and i miss him when he’s busy but also don’t want to ask too much for fear of being a nuisance or rejected :)#ykwim?#i miss him a lot
4 notes · View notes
thecherrygod · 1 year
Text
... man i just remembered how last night i had a dream by the end of it there was a cat, and in it i said "oh she looks exactly like tigra!! are you also an attention seeking dumbass like her?" and it was so i may have actually dreamt about her
2 notes · View notes
albedobeheading · 1 year
Text
guys I am. So horribly emotionally unwell
#I was having a fine day!! like a lil stressed and whatever!!#but then I try to ask my dad for advice like should I move this date or next month??#and I say like I don’t know if I have the money for this but also staying here and hearing you and my mom yelling at each other is tough!!#and then he’s obviously not gonna be happy about me saying that bc I’ve deluded myself into thinking that my dad is a different person#than who he actually is and guess what!!! he fuckin makes the point that I need support from roommates but also living with them is#detrimental and says that in a way that he’s starting to get pissed off#like GOD dude!!!!#I feel like!!! my parents should be able to see how often I cry!!! and think huh? yanno maybe we’re contributing to this!!#but they don’t give a shit and I should move out sooner than later because I need to be out of here and that money will return to me at some#some point and eventually everything will be fine for me I just need to work hard and I’ll be living with someone who loves me very soon#because hey!!! right now I’m living with people who love me but are also mean to me!!!#I’m gonna hang out with my boyfriend tomorrow and I just. cannot fucking wait#it’s very possible that I’m incredibly dependent on him but that’s almost certainly just because living with my parents has made me lose#a lot of character development and independence I got from one fucking year of living alone#I’m so mad.#and so sad#ugh. I. I feel sick#I’m gonna cry so much I’ll end up with eye bags tomorrow morning#I just. need everything to work out
0 notes
hannieehaee · 5 months
Note
Imagine workaholic gf!reader of equally workaholic bf!woozi where they both take a few days leave to enjoy each other and book a luxurious honeymoon suite hotel room thinking they will have a lot of sex with their days off but instead end up with cuddling and lazy make out sessions because their exhaustion just swooshes over them owo
18+ / mdi
Tumblr media Tumblr media
content: workaholic!woozi x workaholic!reader, afab reader, heavy mentions of smut, making out, very suggestive, etc.
wc: 1262
a/n: i can really picture jihoon dating a fellow workaholic lol anyways thank u for requesting<3
masterlist
"fuck, finally," you sighed in relief, letting yourself fall backwards onto the cool bed in the luxury hotel room jihoon had reserved.
after endless weeks of equally endless work, you finally had a week off, which jihoon had strategically coordinated with his own time off.
the two of you were extremely hard workers – to a fault. when jihoon bad first met you, he worried that maybe his addiction to constant work would eventually drive you away, yet somehow it had continued to keep you right by his side. you preferred that he was a workaholic, you had once told him. there had apparently been a few prior relationships in which your heavy workload had led to irreparable issues. jihoon being equally as busy as you allowed you to work without feeling guilt of leaving your partner behind – jihoon felt the exact same way.
despite the unspoken agreement the two of you had in regards to the dynamic of your relationship, it sometimes still got to you when you'd realize how little time you were able to spend with your boyfriend – once more, jihoon felt the exact same way.
your individual lives were already difficult to navigate, but making time for each other was even more complicated. your exhaustion was a whole different issue. working as much as the two of you did, it was understandable that you'd spend the lulls in your schedule resting as much as you could rather than with each other. it was a sad truth, but still remained a truth.
it wasn't as if you spent no time together, though. you'd always either see each other in the mornings (either through call or in person – depending on whether jihoon was in the country at the time or not) or at night, always making sure to love on one another as a reminder of the thriving affection in your relationship. you'd also dedicate one night per week to have a stay-at-home date night. everything was perfectly tailored to your relationship, and the two of you were more than happy with it.
these past few weeks had been the issue. as jihoon had a comeback and you had an important project at work, it was virtually impossible for you to see each other as of late. it got to you in all the worst ways, making you moody, irritable, tired, and even sexually frustrated. not only were you physically exhausted of the constant work, but you had been deprived of your daily dosage of jihoon. you had not slept together in weeks, nor had you even had a meal with each other. cuddling? completely out of the question with the insanely packed schedule you'd been having.
it all went like this for the both of you for a few weeks, up until everything managed to reach a standstill. you had a few days off, and jihoon had the ability to move some things around to match your time off. without so much as one word from you, jihoon had decided it was the perfect time to whisk you away on a private getaway at some luxury hotel of your choice.
jihoon wasnt really one to go out much, unbeknownst to you, but jihoon had been feeling extremely pent up from the last moment he got to have you all to himself. the short glimpses of you he managed to catch throughout the busy weeks were the only thing that had kept him going. the singular thought of the next time he'd he'd get to have you was the only thing occupying his mind. renting out a room for the week was the most obvious of choices to jihoon. he would finally get to explore the sheets with you.
upon arriving to the hotel, jihoon chuckled at how pleased you seemed with the place, immediately letting yourself loose on the bed and sighing in contentment. putting down the suitcases, jihoon joined you soon after, still fully clothed as he laid next to you, staring up at the ceiling.
"are you as tired as i am?", you asked him.
he hummed in affirmation, "yeah. what do you wanna do first?"
the unspoken agreement to utilize the week on sex had filled up the room before you had even arrived, so it was obvious what he was referring to.
"i'll take a quick bath first, okay, baby?", you said as you began to get up, stretching your muscles in the process.
"sure, baby. i'll head down to the gym for a bit to unwind then. i'll see you in about an hour, then?"
with a sweet peck, you bid your boyfriend goodbye, giddy to get yourself relaxed and perfumed so your boyfriend could help you destress under the sheets.
~
the bath had been a huge success in terms of getting you relaxed. after an hour lying in the warmest, bubbliest, comfiest water imaginable to man, you felt like a brand new person. accompanied by a lavender-scented bath bomb, a glass of wine and your favorite netflix show playing in the background, you got out of that bath in the best mood you'd been in in weeks.
the one downside was how incredibly relaxed the bath had gotten you. you were so relaxed, you could've fallen victim to endless slumber in that bathtub. as much as you needed jihoon to fuck you to sleep, you weren't sure how well you'd be able to perform if you tried to return the favor.
luckily for you, that would not be an issue.
upon walking back into the room, now donning some comfortable pajamas, you were met with the sight of a fully-asleep jihoon, cocooned between the sheets as he snored softly. the sight had you swooning with affection for the boy. he was the softest, most relaxing thing you had ever seen.
you couldn't help yourself in making your way to him, somehow maneuvering yourself into his arms and under the sheets, feeling more relaxed than ever.
before you could even close your eyes, the boy shuffled behind you, mumbling against your ear as he cuddled further into you.
"baby?", he mumbled.
"sorry, baby. did i wake you?"
"hmm, no you're fine. i meant to stay awake for you, but the bed's just so damn comfy," he chuckled breathily, "i took a quick shower downstairs to prepare for, you know, but fuck, i'm just so tired," he whined.
you turned around in his arms, facing him, breaths almost intertwined due to the proximity.
"that's okay, hoonie. 'm so sleepy. maybe ... we could leave it for tomorrow? just sleep in and then we can have some fun tomorrow?" you suggested, pressing a soft peck to his lips.
his arms tightened around your waist, not allowing you to pull back all the way, "only if you kiss me some more," he murmured, eyes stuck to your lips.
"i can agree to that," you giggled, pressing a languid kiss to his lips as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, softly intertwining with your own in a wet kiss.
the rest of the evening was spent softly making out under the warm sheets, legs tangled up together and fully relaxed in each other's arms. sex was the last thing on your mind as you kissed each other every so often, mostly focused on holding onto one another and finding your slumber together. however, this exhaustion did not stop you from waking up the following day, claiming your highs from one another time after time throughout the day, ready to recharge at night and continue the pattern day after day.
995 notes · View notes
heartlilith · 3 months
Text
Solar Return Chart Observations
Whatever house your mercury sign is in can show what you learn a lot about during the year. 1st house = yourself, 2nd house = finances, budgeting, 3rd house = public speaking, writing, etc.
MC ruler in the 11th or 12th house can indicate doing more volunteer work throughout the year
Moon in the 7th house can make you more dependent on others whether its friends, lovers, or business partners. It can also make you feel incomplete without a partner.
Moon conjunct MC can make your career/public image dependent on your emotions. If you're feeling sad or depressed, it will show. You may stop dressing up for work or have a harder time leaving the house. If you're feeling good and positive, you'll glow in the public eye and receive more opportunities at work.
ASC and MC sign can show what energies you'll find yourself surrounded by more this year
Mars and Pluto ruled 4th house or ruler of the 4th house aspecting Mars and Pluto is a good indication of moving homes
Your Jupiter sign's ruler in the 1st house can indicate some type of glow up
Venus square MC can mean you put all your effort into work and completely ignore your love life
Earth risings can dress in more earthy colors for the year; shades of green, blue, nude colors, brown colors, etc.
Fortune in the 8th house can indicate getting a lot of gifts from others that year, whether those gifts are money, opportunity, advice, etc. Usually its something bought that's given to you. Maybe your job pays for a business trip or you're gifted perfume or something.
Having Mars in the 2nd house or the ruler of your Mars sign in the 2nd house can mean money comes and goes FAST. Like as soon as you get your check you spend it, whether it's necessary or not
Mars/Pluto in the 6th house can indicate a new health regimen! And/or your daily life looks completely different at the end of the SR year then it did in the beginning
Venus in the 6th house can make a native spend more time getting ready for the day; they put more thought and effort into their style and looks
7th house ruler opposite Moon can make you more inclined to seek solitude rather than confide in others
7th house ruler square Saturn can make you go after relationships that aren't good for you, could be karmic as well
Jupiter in the 6th house of your SR year can mean you run into luck/opportunity when you're out and about doing errands, exercising, in your work environment, or when you're of service to others
Sun square Jupiter is living beyond your means for that year
Check out my July Reading Specials
660 notes · View notes
squiddy-god · 3 months
Text
Malleus, Azul, Lilia, jack, idia with an s/o who’s bad at self care
Tumblr media
Malleus draconia
Mall is confused??
Why is the human not takeing care of themselves???
Only really notices after he sees your health, both mental and physical, start to decline
Asks Lilia about what to do because he’s clueless when it comes to humans.
Once he knows however he’s going straight to you and he’s goona make you do self care whether you like it or not.
It’s simple self care but it’s self care.
Pops out of nowhere and proceeds to make you drink water, no he doesn’t care that you did 5 minuets ago his s/O needs to stay hydrated.
If for whatever reason the dark fae is unable to remind you to take a break or eat or drink water he’ll have sebek bring you a water bottle
Makes you take little breaks
Watches you like a hawk because he wants to make sure that you arnt pushing yourself.
Simple but effective self care is the way to go with malleus, it’ll always be pretty simple but it’s all the love and care he puts into things like makeing you eat something or makeing you drink water.
Tumblr media
Azul ashengrotto
Your both in the same boat here
Azul definitely over works himself and 100% isn’t very good with self care
But when he sees the signs that you also aren’t? He tries.
Noticed pretty quickly, he’s the same way and knew the signs of a lack of self care.
He makes Shure you both eat some food and also that you both drink water, maybe even take a little break.
See, you not being good at self care gets him to do alot of little things for the both of you, like in order for you to take a break he has to take a break, and if you drink water he will suddenly feel thirsty.
Sometimes it won’t actually be a “break but more of a change in location. Can be having you feel like a sad zoo animal
He’ll drag you to mostro lounge/out of his office and will sit with the fishes or other things depending on were you are
Azuls also likes to rant and listen to you rant. He’s a good listener and will listen to you vent for as long as you need while you both cuddle because he's✨✨touch starved✨✨
Azuls self care is a lot of little things that make a big difference he really does try for you and you gradually get better together
Tumblr media
Lilia vanrouge
Noticed right away and his dad senses kicked in
You really thought he wouldn’t notice after raising 3 kids???
Hahahahhahahkekekeke
Makes you drink lots of water, go on walks, take breaks have a nice shower, the works.
He often has to remind sebek to take breaks and drink water, same with silver but for different reasons
Tries to cook for you so you have something to eat but I think that’s more self harm then care if you eat it.
But hey! It’s the thought that counts!
Scolds you lightly when you don’t self care and gives you "the dad lecture” ™
His internal clock is wired to chime of at certain times of day and make sure everyone drinks water/eats/takes a break
He’s very good about self care and he subtly ingrains it into your very soul.
Almost trains you like pavlovs dogs kekekekek
At a certain time you’ll feel the sudden urge to have a little self care, whether you like it or not.
10/10 dad Lilia comes through once again
Tumblr media
Jack howl
Aggressively cares about you
You better self care or else
*chucks water bottle at you* stay hydrated!!!
Gives you a plant because plants are good and you need it
Makes you take breaks whether you like it or not
Good luck not self careing
He can sense if you haven’t
Seriously its like a 6th sence
Like you can be walking by and he’ll come up to you and tell you to go self care
Don’t argue with him
It’s pointless
Imagine doing face masks with Jack
Tumblr media
Idia shroud
Alright so this is a weird on because like Azul idia is high key shit at takeing care of himself
But on the other hand he definitely worries about the people he cares about
So when he notices (almost instantly) that his light, his player 2, isn’t takeing care of themselves?
🅝🅞
So he forces you to self care, shower, drink water, eat something other then monster and Doritos (or candy)
Also has you do face masks and things he found on “howtorelax. Com”
Witch is really good because it kinda tricks him into doing self care himself
So you’ll both get something (somewhat) good to eat, put on a face mask and watch anime together
👉👈 maybe cuddle
It’s really shocking how adamant he is about self care when he himself is so bad at it for himself, but your someone he cares about, a lot, so of course he’s worried about you
Has set timers on his computers for when you should get water and take a break/cuddle him
Expect visits from his tablet and/or ortho telling you to drink water/come to Ignyhide
Idia still won’t go outside-outside but maybe a little walk around Ignyhide won’t hurt (but only if your with him)
Also walks you to class when he’s (unjustly) forced to attend a physical class
And as much as he would like to just nyoom and zoom to his next class lickaty split he makes small stops to get water with you if it isn’t to busy (a.k.a. no people)
Tumblr media
734 notes · View notes
pomefioredove · 3 months
Note
okay after reading all the goth hc, I gotta ask. how do you think the guys would react (any of them but preferred Floyd and Idia ) to playing them goth music/show them a trad goth outfit/makeup look (suprise them maybe? For example: I hc Leona to just have the least slay music taste to mankind (beastmankind?) so you play him- idk let’s say Lebanon Hanover, and he’s like “wtf is this herbivore?” But then he kinda gets into it. no pressure to write for it btw!
-✨♥️✨
ANON I was literally thinking about making a post like this a few days before this ask... you have my heart. I'm doing a full post
summary: nrc boys and goth type of post: headcanons characters: nrc students additional info: platonic or romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu, half-headcanons half-x reader author's note: I'm assuming that goth as a subculture and a music scene already exists in this world. this post is also mostly about the music scene
Tumblr media
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Riddle is essentially a baby bat
he's like, two bad life choices away from going full victorian goth at any given moment
he flat out refuses to listen to anything "vulgar" but secretly adores the dark, poetic side to goth
he's also morbidly obsessed with death, being a sad victorian boy and the child of two doctors. it works
as much as I hate to say it, Ace starts out as the kind of guy to say he wants a "goth gf" on multiple occasions
he proudly announces it to everyone at an unbirthday party once and Riddle almost kills him for being annoying for interrupting
thinks the music is too sad
...but he mellows out eventually (your influence)
both Deuce and Trey are not particularly interested
(Deuce leaned into punk music as a preteen but has since "given it up" because it's too unruly for an aspiring honors student, in his opinion)
Cater inexplicably already knows a lot about goth
won't talk about it unless you bring it up first but if you play him something semi-popular
he'll be like "oh yeah I know that one"
he has a few songs on his playlist he listens to when he's alone
is a goth magnet himself. pulls many hot goths. no one knows how
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jack is also not really into it. not his thing
however I can see him secretly being into emo
make of that what you will
and Ruggie will never pass you the aux again. he calls it "halloween music"
Leona acts thoroughly uninterested for a long time
like, he'll listen to the music you give him, but doesn't really say whether he likes it or not
says he doesn't care about the scene (thinks it's too pretentious)
and pretends to be annoyed when you give him more song recs
but he gets into it. he starts listening on his own
he has a definite preference for gothic rock
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jade is already goth (to me at least)
and very eager to talk about his favorite bands
loves giving recommendations
apparently the coral sea has its own goth subgenres and bands, which sound... much different from land ones
Floyd will listen (has listened, thanks to his brother) but he doesn't particularly care
he much prefers the aesthetic, it reminds him of home
...being that he's from the deep sea, where it's dark and cold
the flowy, dark, elegant looks are just enchanting to him. he can't keep his eyes off it
Azul couldn't be bothered
he's willing to learn, but isn't a huge fan of the general... strangeness
(he doesn't really understand why anyone would want to be perceived as strange in the first place)
and the music is so unmelodic to him
"that was just a man moaning and a gate creaking for seven minutes" and then he bans you from his office
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Kalim literally listens to goth already
I don't know how to explain it but I know he does
it's so funny because he never ever dresses goth or acts stereotypically goth but every once in a while he'll be like "who wants to hear my new favorite song? :D" and it's like, alien sex fiend. and no one can say anything about it
Jamil is an appreciator
depending on what you show him, he could really get into the lyricism and general mood
...if only because he finds goth dancing absolutely mesmerizing
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Rook is goth
he only dresses the part sometimes, but he's always been very passionate about the poetic elements of the music
...really into french coldwave
in terms of fashion he leans romantic goth
it just makes sense to me. he could find beauty in absolutely anything, and the dark and macabre are no exception
will talk your ear off about his favorite bands if you give him the chance
Vil is really more into the style than the music
he's dabbled in a little bit of everything; trad goth, romantic goth, medieval goth. he pulls all of it off
honestly, if anything, the gothic style compliments his features and tastes more than anything
he has such a respect for the subculture and the dedication that goes into the visual elements
Epel doesn't get it. sorry 😔
he will listen to the music you recommend because he cares about you, but he just doesn't like it
he's in the same boat as Azul. "was that a slide whistle?"
absolutely baffled, but he likes you and it's a small price to pay for your happiness
(and he thinks the fashion is too androgynous for his tastes)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
I feel like Idia also used to think he wanted a goth until he saw the e-girl vs goth discourse, freaked out, then spent two weeks reading about different subcultures
...still wants a goth partner
but now he actually knows what that means
will listen to any music you give him out of respect (fear) and won't say anything about whatever weird taxidermy-related hobby you have
he's surrounded by death all the time anyway who cares
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
you could get Silver to listen to the cure's entire discography and he'd come out of it really enjoying just like heaven and nothing else
it's just... not for him
(plus the slower songs put him to sleep)
Malleus somehow hasn't even heard of goth as a genre when you approach him
he is. a little disappointed it's not music about the architecture style
but he still warms up to it, especially as someone who enjoys finding the beauty in the dark and misunderstood
you can fix him. you can goth him.
Sebek joins only after everyone in Diasomnia gets in on it with you (he doesn't like being left out)
he loves it because silver doesn't and malleus does
peepaw Lilia is an old goth
he was around when the music scene started, and he also remembers the literature movement it was named after, and the popular architecture style that was named after, and...
...you get it
still, he's always pleased to learn about new bands and subgenres and styles and the like
could and will talk about it for hours and hours with you
he dresses the part, too
we love him
403 notes · View notes
mera-mera-simp · 1 year
Text
OP Character's Love Languages
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Ussop, Ace and Law
Content Warning: fluff. Some angst (Sanji, Ace and Law)
Pt. 2
Luffy:
Absolutely physical touch. There is no debate on this.
He can and will cling to you with no hesitation. Man doesn't know personal space<3
But you and most of the Strawhats don't mind it. It's sweet.
Though you do have to gently remind him sometimes that not everybody he knows likes it when he does that</3
Definitely a words of affirmation kinda guy too.
This one isn't as often but he loves making you smile.
Constantly telling you how funny you are and how much he loves you. He is a sweet baby even if he's a menace sometimes<3
Sometimes, you'll get a combo of the two. He'll wrap his arms around a multitude of times and tell you all kinds of sweet things just to see you smile.
Gift. Giving.
Please give this sweet baby gifts it will make his eyes light up like stars and he'll treasure it forever.
You could get him the silliest thing and he'll be so happy. You'll have his stretchy arms wrapped around you and multiple kisses on your face while he's yelling 'thank you' multiple times within an instant.
Zoro:
Quality time.
He's not much of a touchy guy and he's not the greatest with words.
But he actively seeks you out on the Sunny. He just wants to be by you<3
He's not great at words, so just being by you is enough for him
He will make you take naps with him<3
He likes to sit by you when he's cleaning his swords.
Please just chill with him while he trains. He likes being in your presence.
This goes both ways low-key. He knows that you love him so he doesn't need to be reminded. And as mentioned earlier, he's not really a touchy feely guy.
So just spending time with you is enough.
Bro loves you so much, he'll chill by you while you're talking to the other strawhats. He doesn't need to involved in the conversation. He'll just sit by you (he'll take a nap depending on where you are on the ship)
Maybe a small bit of gift giving?
Only if he finds it useful though probably.
Get him stuff to clean his swords with and he'll be happy.
Send him over the moon with alcohol.
But definitely quality time for the most part.
Dude just wants to be by you<3
Sanji:
Is it absurd to say that it's everything? (Because I feel like it is but thats cause I'm in love with him and delulu)
He'll match to whatever your love language is babes<3
Gift giving? He'll spoil you
Quality time? Just hang out with him in the kitchen while he cooks
Words of affirmation? He'll tell you a thousand times a day that he loves you
Acts of service? Say the word and your wish is his command.
Physical touch? He'll be all over you.
He'll match your energy.
Sometimes you'll get the buy 1 get 4 free combo.
He bends over backwards for you.
And it's all super sweet. He'll cook for you, buy you some cute trinkets that you like, spend time with you while you're doing something, tell you all kinds of romantic things, and he'll hold your hand at all times
Bro is such a sweet guy<3
Please tell him that you love him. Reassure him for the love of god
He didn't get it a lot as a kid after Sola died so whenever you do, he really appreciates it <3 (Sanji my sad chef, my beloved I love him so much)
Nami:
Look me in the eye and tell me that her loves languages aren't gift giving and acts of service.
She'll be over the moon if you buy her stuff
Specially if it's expensive <3
Bake something for her, Sanji will help you if you ask him to!
She'll give you a bunch of kisses for it. It's her way of say thank you.
You're the only one who doesn't owe her a single berri. Cause why would she charge the love of her life?
She gets a little jealous super easily though. She'll pout at you. Just laugh at her and tell her she's cute. Kiss her cheek, forehead or tip of her nose if you want to make her melt.
Sometimes she'll indulge in physical touch, only for you though.
She'll hold your hand when strolling through a town on a new island. And then persuade you to buy something she likes by acting cute.
She's super appreciative if you do though
She'll hug you and kiss you with a big grin on her face
It makes her feel important
She likes to make you feel important too. She'll actually go out of her way to buy you stuff sometimes. She teases about an interest fee but if you actually try to pay it, it's the only time she refuses
Ussop:
Words of affirmation
My guy needs a lot of reassurance so he appreciates it
Tell him that he's brave and he'll be absolutely smitten
He also likes physical touch
He'll hold you as he tells his stories
Talk to him about the world. You both love being out on the Grandline and seeing how big the world is. It's one your 'late night can't sleep' topics.
Hangout on the deck of the Sunny and look at stars together. He'll hold your hand and point out the constellations to you. (He learned them from Robin, he just wants to impress you<3)
If you hug him from behind randomly, he'll swoon.
He'll let you stay like that too. He thinks it's sweet. He'll just casually talk to you about his day so far.
He's constantly telling you how much he loves you.
You make him feel strong and brave so of course he's going to return the favor.
Overall, Ussop is just a sweet guy. He likes holding your hand and making you smile<3
Ace:
Oh my beloved sad himbo
Please hold him and reassure him.
He's definitely a physical touch and words of affirmation kinda guy too.
Trace the freckles on his face (he'll melt in your arms with a blushing face if you call them mini constellations<3)
He likes to hold you yeah but please hold him. He needs it.
He likes to be in your embrace but he'll only let you do it when you guys aren't in sight of the crew, he's afraid that Marco and Thatch will tease him for a life time. (They wouldn't)
Pepper his face in kisses
This poor cowboy is so sad please tell him all of the things you love about him
Tell him he's worth everything in the world (Ace was the One Piece</3\hj)
Whisper sweet nothings to him as you guys try to fall asleep at night, that's when his head tries to attack him the most.
He appreciates it all and he'll definitely return the favor.
He constantly has you wrapped in his arms.
He'll kiss the top of your head and nuzzle his face into your hair.
He'll purposely act stupid just to see you laugh.
Please just make him happy. He is so sad
He will deny though.
"Me? Sad? Blasphemy."
Law:
Another quality time kinda guy
He doesn't like physical touch
Or words of affirmation
Please don't openly say you love him or promise him anything, the last person who did both those things died almost immediately after (he's traumatized </3)
Just spend some time with him, that's all he asks. You don't have to say anything he just wants to he by you.
He doesn't know how to accept gifts so that's also kinda out of the question
If you do something for him though, he'll be appreciative. In his own way
Just quality time for the most part.
Just sit by him while he reads or looks over some notes he has.
He's comforted by your presence, you make him happy even if he never outwardly shows it
1K notes · View notes
lancermylove · 7 months
Text
Random Relationship HCs
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Pairing: Leona, Malleus, Azul, Riddle with gn!Reader
Warning: None
———————————————
Tumblr media
You and Leona have late-night study sessions, cramming for exams at the last minute. Somehow, he knows everything without even studying. Meanwhile, he is a bad influence on you and watching you frantically studying with an amused smirk.
He loves napping with you, especially under the afternoon sun. The best part is that even if you fall asleep with him on public grounds, no one will bother you because they don't want to get on Leona's bad side.
If you are competitive, well, let the competition begin! He will compete with you in anything, but beware that he doesn't lose, and in case he loses, he doesn't take it well. Convincing him to be happy will take a lot of kisses and cuteness.
He takes you to explore the vast grounds of Savanaclaw. Sometimes, the two of you discover hidden spots that not even Leona knew existed.
If you are the type of person who can be with Leona but be worlds apart at the same time, you will find yourself sitting beside him or in the same room with a comfortable silence. Words are not needed for him to understand you.
Tumblr media
Since he likes the silence of the nighttime, Malleus invites you on walks in the serenity of the moonlight. Neither of you say anything, hold hands, and take in the beauty of nature as the cool night breeze caresses your skin.
Malleus might be the future king of Briar Valley, but he treats you as an equal and values your opinions and decisions. It doesn't matter to him if you are royalty or not, and he will make sure everyone who attempts to look down on you knows that.
At every given moment, his eyes are on you. The prince wants to ensure you are happy and not hiding any sadness or pain from him. One of his goals in life is to keep you happy, and he intends to meet it no matter what.
If he thinks you are serious about the relationship, Malleus will envision his future with you. He may or may not say it out loud, depending on how comfortable you would be with the topic. However, he had already envisioned the two of you ruling Briar Valley together. And opening his eyes every morning to see your lovely face beside his. Just the thought makes his heart pound against his chest.
Tumblr media
You and Riddle sometimes banter over the rules of Heartslaybul. What's wrong with drinking a certain type of tea after 8 pm? Who cares how many sugar cubes someone puts in their drink or if you put honey? Who cares what clothes are worn where? But Riddle disagrees with you, but it's more of a playful argument than a serious one. In the end, the two of you laugh and hug each other.
You two often study together. Not only do you help each other, but you also get to spend time with each other. Moreover, Riddle is good at explaining things in a simplistic manner, so he makes it easy for you to understand anything you have issues with.
Riddle has a habit of overworking and overstressing, so at times, you have to pull him into his room and force him to relax. He likes to put his head on your lap as you stroke his hair. Sometimes, he falls asleep when you do that.
If you have a sweet tooth, specifically for strawberry tarts, the two of you visit local bakeries together to try out different desserts or ask Trey to bake some for you if he has time.
Tumblr media
When Azul has time, he takes you to the depths of the sea for underwater excursions. Who knows, maybe one of these days, you might find hidden treasures or secrets beneath the waves. Just don't ask him to show you his octopus form because he will most definitely say no.
Azul treasures the small moments that happen between you and him, be it you drinking something and a mustache forming on your upper lip or you laughing about something silly; he cherishes it all.
He likes it when you rely on him as it shows your trust in him. So, if you are struggling with anything and go to him, Azul will drop everything and help you. Depending on your mood, he may tease you.
After Mostro Lounge closes, Azul likes to have dinner with you. In the candlelight and glow of the ocean water, he enjoys asking you about your day and telling you about his day. It gives him a sense of a family vibe, like spouses having dinner with each other. He didn't say that out loud, and you didn't heard anything.
———————————————
Tumblr media
➣ Twisted Wonderland [1][2] ➣ Main Masterlist
➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Closed || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed
454 notes · View notes
cxlamarisalxmi · 1 year
Text
Being Miguel’s daughter and hosting Venom [2]
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
[Platonic One-Shot]
c/w: fighting, depictions of violence and gore, angst, female pronouns (she/her), feminine gendered terms used to describe reader, Venom is a big softie, only for you though 🤭
a/n: this is marked as part two because the first one shot was the first part, the drabble was more of an introduction to the idea 😭 I understand there might be some confusion about how these parts are set up but yeah the drabble was intended to introduce the idea more than it was meant to be an actual part of the series— like an extended epigraph… sort of
It was raining the day your father had decided to return to your dimension— the dark and gloomy rain clouds above thick and heavy as they devoured the sky.
With them they brought raindrops thick and heavy in density that were spat out in a torrential downpour. Falling in copious and rapid quantities.
You had been sitting perched on the corner of a building’s roof, observant and watchful as you patrolled the streets from your perch.
The darkness that had followed the overcast night sky left the street lamps and starkly bright city lights bright and prominent in their glow. And your sensitive and finely tuned auditory perception picked up on the sounds of tires driving through rainwater on the pavement. The sound of particularly nocturnal people walking, bustling and moving about— the way their shoe soles stepped on the soaked through concrete of the sidewalk, some splashing as they came across puddles in the divets of the ground.
Everything that involved your senses and being aware of the world around you sharpened dramatically, now keen on focusing on the world around you. Listening starkly for any kind of traumatic event occurring.
“I like the rain.”
“Me too.”
“The atmosphere is relaxing. We feel at peace.”
You couldn’t help but agree, the weather more than accommodating in the sense your mood had improved drastically.
It had been two weeks since your father had made his appearance, and since then you had been tightly wound and more than a little hurt at his abrupt intrusion. Even more hurt at the way he had just left without so much as an ounce of effort in trying to get you to talk to him.
He had called your name, and he did speak to you— that was something you could acknowledge, but the fact he hadn’t bothered trying beyond that spoke a lot about what your relationship had come to. What it still was.
He didn’t care about you, he never had and the encounter from a little less than half a month ago gave you the impression that he never would.
A small part of you could admit that you had hoped maybe he would come after you, chase you down, take you into his arms and hold you tenderly. Lovingly.
An even larger part overwhelmed that feeling with a cold and bitter indifference that made you more angry than sad. Sparked to life when he left you behind in a home you didn’t know, with people you didn’t trust— and festered to much more significant levels as the years continued to pass with not a single word from him.
You shouldn’t have expected him to make an effort to fix your relationship, and you hated that you were so bothered that he hadn’t tried at all. You should’ve known that he hadn’t ever intended to be involved with you at all. And you should’ve just accepted that your relationship was beyond fixing— and there was no point in trying to repair something that had died a long time ago. Irreparable— damaged and broken.
And whilst anger and hate had spread and taken over most of your heart and soul, there was still a small part inside that was more hurt than anything.
That small child inside that had depended on her father more than ever in the wake of her mother’s death. A little girl that had quickly learned he wasn’t dependable, she couldn’t count on him at all. And she was quick to learn that there wasn’t anyone who had her back, was on her side. It developed into her trusting absolutely no one— “the only one I can really trust.. is me.”
“[Y/Name]? Are you okay?”
“Yes,” you murmured quiet and tame as you continued to watch over the city. The darkness and ache that had consumed your heart so very deeply at the remembrance of your father had dissipated when your friend had spoken to you. “I’m fine V.”
“Was it about him?”
You didn’t respond and they had expected that you wouldn’t, and didn’t say much after that. And you appreciated their understanding that you didn’t want to talk about them.
There was a moment of tranquility, peace in the loud bustle of your city as the rain continued to fall. But then your senses tingled as the familiar sound of a portal spinning open erupted behind you. There wasn’t a moment of stillness that you allowed before you were spitting webs at the wall behind the portal.
Miguel walked through the portal a moment later, it closed a second after and then you were launching yourself at him.
He may have not had the tingle at the expense he wasn’t even really changed like you had been. He hadn’t been bitten but had his genetic code changed, and his abilities came from a vial of liquid he injected directly into his bloodstream to keep his powers sharp and potent.
So, whilst he didn’t have the spider senses that tingled anytime danger was nearby, his natural instincts had been sharpened finely. Thus, he was able to bring up his arms as you drop kicked him into the wall you had slung your webs at.
Even though he was blocking his face protectively you had put enough strength behind the kick to hurt him, and he grunted as your kick connected sending him flying back.
[Y/Name] jumped to meet him against the brick wall and grabbed him by the throat, tightening her clawed fingers around his neck before she was pulling him from the wall and throwing him off the building to the street below.
The previous feeling of peace and content that had warmed her chest and blood had diminished, and was now replaced with thorough rage. Hot and ferocious.
[Y/Name] had sworn to Venom that she absolutely would resort to murder if her father ever returned to her universe, and here he was. So the alien didn’t falter nor make an effort to halt the anger that was slowly but surely filling his host’s body.
Another portal opened up behind her and she felt an itch of annoyance as she felt the familiar presence that made her senses tingle. Jessica Drew.
A snarl tugged at her features as she curled her lip and looked over her shoulder, a ferocious glare fierce and angry in her bright eyes.
“Venom.”
“Of course.”
Jessica stared as a thick, black matter pooled from her back and slid across her lean and muscular frame. The alien-like viscous oil gliding across every plane of her frame, concealing her entire white and blue suit in a tightened black version of it instead.
“[Y/Name],” Jessica began soft and quiet— an attempt to somehow quell the furious fire of rage she could feel hot and angry from where she stood several feet behind the young teenager. “I know what you must be feeling—”
“You don’t know shit.”
“You want to kill him. And I can’t let you do tha—”
Her sentence was cut short when she was suddenly thrown backwards, her senses had tingled but not nearly quick enough. And she had been sent backwards to the brick wall in consequence, she gaped at the O’hara stood in front of her on the edge of the roof.
She had turned to face Jessica with her back, and the blackened webbing surrounding her body seemed to pulse and tightened around her body. Every time she squirmed attempting to loosen them, cut them or escape they would just tighten. She resorted to calling out to [Y/Name] instead—
“Spider-Woman doesn’t kill people!”
[Y/Name] willed her mask to peel away, the small and thin tendrils crawling up her neck and hugging her forehead only made the harsh glare she threw at Jessica over her shoulder much darker. The snarl she gave baring abnormally sharp canines seemed to make her even more intimidating— it made Jessica uncomfortable how a simple look made a chill rake down her back.
“You’re right. But we do.”
And she shivered again at the alien voice that rumbled from the young adult’s chest. The words she spoke only succeeding in making her all the more uncomfortable and frightened. The tone she spoke in was deep and ferociously monstrous. And Jessica stared as the O’hara glared back for a single second before she jumped disappearing over the side of the roof.
[Y/Name] landed on the sidewalk paved along the side of the asphalt road, she jumped forward flipping out of the way as her father shot a web at the spot she occupied previously.
But he had jumped to meet her midair and they grappled as they fell back to the road, she managed to wrangle a hold on the back of his suit and brought forth Venom’s strength to throw him down the road before landing on it herself.
Miguel’s sharpened instincts flared aggressively as his young daughter launched a car at him. He spun around extending his arm forward simultaneously— the long and sharp blade on his forearm cutting the car cleanly in half. But she had been there to surprise him, lunging forward after she had thrown the car knowing he’d cut it in half opening up an ambush as she erupted in between each piece of the vehicle.
He gasped silently in shock at her appearance through the split and grunted when her punch connected to his face. Enough strength from her abilities coupled with Venom to send him flying back. And he flipped midair to land on his feet several feet down the street, he dug the blades on his forearms into the pavement to halt his movement as he looked up.
“I suffered! Alone! For twenty years, because of your cowardice!” [Y/Name] shouted as she stormed down the street, the mask Venom provided peeling back to reveal a ferocious snarl tugging her lips back and baring abnormally sharper canines.
“Protecting the security of the multiverse is not cowardly!”
“You knew invading another universe at the expense of your variant’s death was wrong! You knew your presence could collapse the very fabrics of a dimension! You always knew!” She roared in exclamation to his rather weak defense, having stopped just a few feet in front of him to properly put her feelings forward. Give him everything she had bottled up inside that had erupted suddenly since his abrupt appearance in her dimension two weeks ago.
Miguel just stood there, he swallowed thickly at her statement as he held eye contact with her. There wasn’t any indication he was intimidated by her on his face, his expression blank and guarded with slanted brows and narrowed eyes. But internally he was dreading the fight that would no doubt occur, she was anomoly after all.
“But— when she told you she was pregnant, when she told you she was excited to start your family.. what did you do? What did you do? You. Ran!”
“She was never meant to bear children! Never meant to give birth to you— that was not my fault!”
The audacity he had to ruin her life and not even acknowledge it only made [Y/Name] all the more furious, her blood boiling beneath her skin as she tightened her vicious snarl. “Not your fault?!”
[Y/Name] advanced forward, she reached to her left— her muscular forearm flexing beneath the deep black Venom suit as she gripped the side of another car and effortlessly lifted it throwing it at him.
He jumped to the side to dodge but she was there to meet him once again, having leapt from her spot on the street to put her knee in his face. He couldn’t bring his arms up quick enough to block it this time, and she forced him backwards when she utilized Venom’s alien strength to really hurt him.
Miguel grunted as her strike connected and he was thrown into the side of the building off to the side. She followed right behind him tearing her arm back and throwing it forward the second she was close enough. The hit had enough power and strength in it to send him right through the brick wall and into the empty warehouse within.
[Y/Name] landed several feet away from the form of her father on the ground, he was slow to get back to his feet but once he had he turned to face her. And she could tear his throat out at the scowl carved into his features, the conversation that followed only making her all the more infuriated.
“I’m not here for any other reason than to capture the anomaly in your dimension.” He says, a still blank and guarded look on his face. One that his young daughter matched only to a degree that looked more like she was enraged rather than unbothered.
“There’s no anomaly here, Venom and I would’ve picked up it’s unnatural scent immediately.” She reasoned.
“You wouldn’t know of it’s presence. Because it’s you.”
“What?”
“You are an anomaly, you were never meant to be born.. never meant to be bitten… never meant to host Venom. You don’t belong. You need to be contained.”
[Y/Name] froze, Venom inside stilling too as he and herself processed the words that had just fell from her father’s mouth. All was quiet for but a moment—
“You…”
Miguel watched as a dark look overtook her features, from enraged previously to downright hostile as her eyes darkened to an unseen degree. He felt a shiver of fear and intimidation shuck down his back in a brief burst.
“You bastard.”
The snarled words growled from her throat sent another ripple down his spine. And he swallowed thickly as the deep black viscous matter of Venom returned, and then she bore the same appearance as before.
The same lean and muscular frame but now entirely black with a white spider insignia, her mask’s eyes now more monstrous-like as opposed to the regular diamond shape as most spider people.
“Fine.”
[Y/Name] Venom snarled ferociously, Miguel watched as the alien bulked up his daughter. Not so much so that it wasn’t proportionate but enough to have him breathe out a brief exhale of uncertainty and anxiety.
His daughter had become powerful in his absence, and he had caused the black hatred to plague her heart. The fact she only looked at him with hate and a fiery light of murder and bloodthirsty rage was his fault and his fault alone. He had no one to blame but himself.
So, he really had no one to blame for this fight that would occur one way or another. He wasn’t sure he could beat her, and for the first time in a long while he felt a surge of anxiousness brew to life in his stomach. His heartbeat slightly erratic at the new feeling of diminished confidence in his chest.
He knew this would be hard, he knew he was walking into this fight with a significant power difference, and he knew for damn sure he wasn’t certain he’d keep his head. And Miguel had no one to blame for it—
But himself.
a/n: started writing out requests so expect to see those soon but don’t get too excited as I can’t promise when exactly they’ll be finished and posted, my classes are kicking my ass and my job fucking sucks so.. bear with me please and I hope you enjoyed!
Taglist: @violilaqrs @christinesdemoness1958 @erensbbg @nickey-diano @gamersansblog @ayyybee @raweggeater @shrekstoesblog @azzy-ozborn @nda-approval @9kaaulitz @jazjelspen @myconglomerateromance @sweetheartlizzie07 @nyx-does-stuff @krazy-kattzz @sparklyphantom @loser-alert @bath1lda
Sorry if I missed you on the taglist!
1K notes · View notes
cumikering · 1 month
Text
F1 John Price x reader 4
2.8k | fluff, mentions of cheating John Price and the 50 billion other Johns of the UK (part 1) (part 5)
The bed shifted. A rustle, a thud. Distant whispers.
“… Yeah, sorry, John’s here now… Yeah? Okay, see you, love.”
John looked up with a soft groan when the door cracked open. “Sweetheart?” he croaked.
He squinted in the late morning sun, but he didn’t miss how wonderful you looked in his shirt, all soft skin and a radiant face as you climbed back into the comfort of his arms.
 “Sorry for waking you.” You kissed his cheek. “Harley wants to meet for lunch instead. That fine? We’ve got nothing planned, have we?”
“Of course, but I thought it was supposed to be dinner. Is she alright?”
“Yeah, her tattoo appointment got pushed back so she figured we should meet before.”
He remembered the photos you showed him, of your good friend from school with the pink hair and an array of colourful tattoos. You said she made the best cupcakes.
“And she just told me- I guess it’s a little silly.” You pulled a face. “But we were huge fans of this singer back in the day, and he just got exposed for cheating on his wife. I know it’s none of our business, but it’s just really sad to see. People are saying if a supermodel gets cheated on, us regular women stand no chance.”
He hummed. “You believe that?”
“No, it just depends if you’re faithful or not, but all cheaters are liars. And it doesn’t help that powerful people always have options lined up, but that’s just something you avoid, right?”
His body tensed. “W- what do you mean?”
“Just don’t be with someone who’s famous or away a lot. I mean… This is probably my insecurities talking, but it’s not for me.”
“There are plenty who are just as happy despite the distance.”
“That’s true.” You paused. “I didn’t tell you, but there was this bloke a while ago, had always been upfront about how difficult it could get with his job. I thought I could handle it. He didn’t hurt me or anything, but I don’t think I want to put myself in that situation again,” you said wistfully. “Dating celebrities must be even worse. On top of that, losing your privacy, being compared and criticised endlessly…”
“No, but do you really think it won’t work out?” He sat up, gripping your shoulders. “They’re just normal people behind all the drama, probably don’t even want any of it. Don’t you think they deserve a fair chance?”
“Why are you so riled up, John? Are you famous?” you teased. “You surely are handsome enough to be a model.”
He lay back down, avoiding your gaze as heat crept up his neck.
What the bloody fuck just happened? He was supposed to tell you everything, arrange a meet with his mates and maybe have you stay the night at his, but the very first conversation you had for the day turned out to be an atomic bomb.
“Well, you’re up now. I know it’s closer to lunch, but I’m still making you pancakes. I need you to try the blueberry jam I got you.” You kissed his forehead before making your way out the door.
A lump formed in his throat. Fuck, he was being a hypocrite. He hated that life and there he was trying to drag you into it too.
What had started as him trying to be cautious, innocently laying low had escalated into something else. This was going to look horrible, like he tricked you, especially after last night - it had meant the world to him. But it was never his intention to fool you.
The tide had turned in the blink of an eye. This had been his life for many years, but why the fuck didn’t it occur to him that being with him wasn’t ideal for most people? That no one dreamt of being with someone who was barely home, that this could very well be deal-breaker? If he had been waiting to trust you and let you in, now he was in danger of being left entirely.
“John, you okay?” you asked at the table.
He looked up from his plate and forced a smile. He wanted to throw up. Your pancakes were wonderful as always, but he could barely stomach them with these thoughts running through his head.
“I’m sorry, did you want to do something today?” You placed your fork down. “I should have asked you before saying yes to Harley.”
“No, no. It’s not that. I’m just… Thinking, is all.” He reached across the table for your hand. “I can drop you off if you want?”
But all was not lost. Telling you now would only make the situation appear more disheartening than it was. He just had to prove to you that a relationship with him - no, he would be different. When he eased back into the season in a few weeks time, you wouldn’t even feel anything had changed – he’d make sure to show you the distance was nothing to worry about. He’d tell you then, and you’d be far less apprehensive.
Yeah, he could do that. If three weeks apart for Christmas was not a problem, being apart 4-5 days, twice a month would be a child’s play.
You agreed to him driving you to Harley’s, but even then he white-knuckled the steering wheel and barely spoke a word.
“John, did I do something?” You turned to him when he pulled up.
“No- sorry I’ve been distracted.” He chuckled sheepishly.
“Are you sure? You know you can tell me, yeah?”
“Yes, I promise.” He pressed your hand to his lips.
You have him a small smile before you exited his car, hesitation in your eyes.
The little voice in his head knew he was stretching his façade. It was selfish, perhaps devious - he didn’t want to admit, that he still kept you in the dark even after you expressed your aversion. He had no excuse, but he wasn’t about to let this end, not before he tried his absolute best.
You wouldn’t be mad, would you? His heart was in the right place - he just wanted to save you the heartache. How he was going to make this work was his burden to carry. He just needed you to sit back and be patient with him while he figured things out.
Let me know if you want me to pick you up. Enjoy lunch x
The cold of winter mellowed as February inched closer to March. John had been counting down the days to the start of the season. He’d missed the ecstasy of speed and the itch to get behind the wheel only seemed to worsen.
He started ordering cookies for his team again weekly. He would take any excuse to see you one extra time, especially when you’d send him off with an off-menu drink and a kiss in front of his car.
What he severely underestimated though, was how cramped his schedule was going to be in preparation for the season with never-ending meetings, tests and interviews. He still made time to see you of course, but more often than not he’d be late to pick you up with impromptu events getting in his way.
That night was one of those times again.
“John, you know you can tell me if you can’t make it, yeah?” you said as you locked up your shop. “I really don’t mind going home on my own.”
“No, I want to, really.” He gave your hand a squeeze. “It’s just work has been ultra busy.”
You smiled. “Should I just come to yours this Friday? Let me return the favour.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, love. Like I said, I don’t mind the drive.”
You’d been asking more often, and John was only a few more questions away from breaking entirely. He couldn’t keep doing this to you. The lump in this throat was palpable each time your smile flickered when he gave you yet another excuse to not visit.
Despite the delay, John took you out for dinner at the place you’d wanted to try. You enjoyed yourself regardless, even that it was too late to catch a film after like he’d promised. Instead, you shared an ice cream and strolled along the streets among the thinning crowd.
At the end of the night, as he held the door open as you slipped into his GTI, someone yelled out his name. He turned to the source of the voice, and it was then the consecutive camera flashes stunned him. He quickly shut your door, jumped to his seat and drove away.
“Did someone call out for you?”
“To be fair, half of the men in the UK are called John.” He shrugged, making you chuckle.
With the thick beard, cap and face mask, the chances of paparazzi recognising him were slim to none, but there he was. The man had been a few metres behind the car - he must have only caught John’s side and your back. Regardless, he prayed the photos were shit enough to not make it online, let alone to anyone who might recognise you, and therefore him.
He swallowed and peered at you. “Love, I’m, uh… Heading to Bahrain for work next Wednesday.”
“Oh, how long?”
“I’ll be back Monday.”
“Okay.” You patted his thigh with a smile. “If you need anything for the trip, let me know if I can help.”
He breathed a sigh of relief. At least that went fine.
John held off shaving until the very last night before he left London for pre-season testing on the last weekend of February. It was always bittersweet to erase the months of effort, but this time it symbolised more than the beginning of the season.
Things weren’t going to be as easy with his schedule back in full swing, but he was confident. Everything would be alright and he’d be able to come clean in no time at all.
John called you at the end of each night, to make up for barely responding during the day. You’d tell him about your day, send him pictures of your meals and the new cookie flavours you tried baking at the shop.
On Sunday, you had JP with you at breakfast. ‘He asked for pancakes,’ you said. You served him a stack of tiny pancakes topped with a singular blueberry on an upside down teacup with a shot of milk on the side. He’d grinned at the photo, but most of all, he wanted to cry at how precious you were.
See, distance was not a problem for you and him – everything was fine. So on Monday night at your dining table, what you said caught him off guard.
“John- I just,” you began, moving your food mindlessly with your fork. “I don’t want to be clingy or demanding, but it’s been over three months. I don’t know where you live, I’ve never met any of your friends.” Your eyes met his. “Tell me I’m not unreasonable for wanting to know.”
“You’re not unreasonable at all.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, love. It’s not that I don’t want to, but for now I’m uncomfortable showing you where I live.”
“You know I don’t care whatever it looks like, yeah?”
“Could you give me some more time? I promise to take you when I’m ready. Please give me a few more weeks.”
You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes, and rightfully so. He had turned down each and every attempt to ‘know’ more of him.
Guilt continued to singe him. It was true that the coward dies a thousand deaths but the valiant one. He’d only hurt once for telling the truth, but now that the truth could drive you away from him, he couldn’t risk it.
“Also,” he winced. “I’m flying to Bahrain again on Wednesday.”
You frowned. “You literally were just there today.”
He couldn’t have picked a better time to tell you, could he? Did he have to keep breaking the news to you every week and watch the smile fall off the face of his favourite woman?
“Well, the team stayed there, but I thought I wanted to see you for a bit. I mean- two nights, that’s better than nothing.”
You laid your fork down and gave him a sympathetic look. You sighed before getting out of your seat. For a second he thought you were going to leave, but you went over and wrapped your arms around him as he was still seated.
“You don’t have to do that, John.” You held him against your chest. “I know it’s your job, and I’m not trying to make a fuss about it.”
“I want to,” he mumbled, closing his eyes.
It was silly to admit it, but he’d grown terribly used to seeing you almost every day, sharing meals with you, waking up with his arms around you. He didn’t have the strength to be apart for so long.
Slumber inched closer and the rise and fall of his bare chest slowed under your cheek. He kissed the top of your head, pulling the comforter closer over your exposed shoulders.
“I enjoy seeing more of your handsome face, but I miss your beard already,” you muttered sleepily.
He let out a soft chuckle. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Tumblr media
“First race of the season, eh!” Gaz slapped John on the back before plopping down onto the couch next to him. “Will we finally meet her?”
In the hospitality suite, it was the first time they had some quiet since he arrived in Bahrain.
He sighed. “Not yet.”
“Aw, thought it’s official now with your public appearance.”
“What?” He whipped to his teammate. “What are you talking about?”
“The photos. Have you not seen?” He pulled up an article.
Incognito John Price spotted with an unknown woman
The McLaren driver was recently seen strolling hand-in-hand with a mystery woman, sparking speculation among fans on social media. Though nothing is confirmed yet, John has been spotted multiple times with the same woman around the city, adding to the intrigue surrounding their relationship. For the outing, the Scouse opted for a casual ensemble as he’s often seen in, donning a black baseball cap and a matching face mask…
“Who the bloody fuck cares what I’m wearing?” he muttered under his breath.
He scrolled further down, finding photos of the both of you taken in bursts. A set were of you holding hands while walking down the street, the bloom of your laugh at something he said perfectly captured in the photographs. Some where he pulled his mask down to kiss you with an arm wrapped around your waist as you clung onto his bicep. And the last few were of him looking absolutely aghast in the flash as he held the car door for you before driving away.
“You look like shit in the last one though.” Kyle winced. “Like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Yeah,” he answered dryly, tossing the phone back to Gaz. “You’d probably look the same way if someone howled out your name and took your photos in the same second.”
John didn’t bother going through the sea of comments, not wanting to know what unsavoury remarks he was only going to find. He didn’t even realise the man the other day took so many photos. His heart melted at how lovely you looked in the candid pictures with your radiant smile - his favourite state of you, but his stomach churned at the same time.
How long hid he follow you? Spotted multiple times - did that mean there were other photos of the both of you floating around online? At least half of your face was obscured in the shots, but someone who knew you could very much recognise you regardless.
John Sloane was running out of time. There was only one way this was going. The truth had to come out, and it was his choice if he wanted it to explode and destroy what he had with you, or come from him, wrapped as best he could.
But he had time. He only needed a few more weeks to step up his game and get you used to the schedule, to make the transition as seamless as he could for you.
As always, he texted and called when he could, but he had to admit, he felt it. It wasn’t the same if he didn’t get to hold your hand or wrap his arms around you, because two days were not enough at all to let the craving for you melt away.
His confidence flickered, but it didn’t matter. It was his forte after all – his whole life had revolved around relentlessly pushing forward despite how painful it was.
And so he wasn’t giving up. Not on you, not this soon.
Masterlist
@tiredmetalenthusiast @le16erc @kyletogaz @asbestos-n-asbesties @two-autumns
@juicyjujuuu @the-darling-fishy @dahlia-reads @nocturnalreader106 @princessdaniiiii
@freshlemontea @sadcowboyhours @hungrycrazy @hope69world @shinymriver
@buckyboeducky @eve-lie @cumhero0 @ducks118 @readreblogfics
150 notes · View notes
bratzforchris · 7 months
Note
Hi! I hope this isn't too weird, but I was wondering if you could write a fic where Matt is autistic? I see myself a lot in him and the podcast episode where they kept calling him "Miserable Matt" made me think about myself a lot. So maybe a fluffy hurt/comfort fic where he just gets tired of it because it's something he can't help and reader helps him through it with his special interests? It's okay if not! Thank you 💞
My Person, M. Sturniolo
Tumblr media
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*
Summary: In which the best cure for everything is cuddles and special interests<3
Pairing: Matt x gender neutral reader
Warnings: Mentions of autistic meltdown, going nonverbal, Nick and Chris lowkey suck here 😭
Word Count: 1.4k
A/N: Thank you for the request! Please remember that my writing is fictional--I am not saying or assuming that Matt is autistic and I definitely don't think Nick and Chris would act this way in real life. It's just a story :) Now, please enjoy 💚
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*:・゚✧*
“Miserable Matt” this and “Miserable Matt” that. It was almost sickening the way he was constantly the target of Nick and Chris’s jokes. Deep down, Matt knew his brothers didn’t really mean any harm, but that didn’t make his feelings any less hurt. He never purposely tried to be sad or depressing when they were filming, it was just kind of the way his natural personality was. 
Being autistic, his voice tended to have a flatter affect than most people’s. Even when he was filled with autistic joy, his voice rarely got louder or higher. Usually, his brothers were quite understanding of his disability, always standing up for Matt and making sure he was treated fairly, but then there were days like today, where they were filming an episode for Cut the Camera, and Nick and Chris just couldn’t stop the jokes from rolling off their tongues. 
“I dunno,” Matt said quietly, but with a smile, fidgeting with his hands. “I just like to be alone sometimes. It gives me the creative freedom that I don’t always get from other people, y’know?” 
“Oh here we go again,” Chris snorted. “Miserable Matt back at again with his depression poetry.”
“That’s not poetry.” Matt grumbled, trying to hide the hurt in his voice. 
The triplets were currently discussing where they got their video ideas from, and how they stayed motivated to make content, even when they didn’t feel like it. Of course Chris and Nick had ‘normal people’ answers, like going out with friends or going on vacation. But being autistic, Matt didn’t recharge that way. He preferred to be alone to gather his thoughts and reset his mind. So of course, that was made fun of. 
-`ღ´-
“So, what do you guys think about the edits people make of you?” Nick asked. “Love or hate them?”
“It depends,” Chris shrugged. “Some of them make me think ‘Damn, I’m fine’, but others are kinda…weird. No offense, guys!” he threw his hands up quickly, smiling at the camera. 
“I like them. I think it’s sweet that someone takes time out of their day to edit me.” Matt smiled. 
“Yeah,” Nick groaned. “Cause yours are all sad and depressing and ‘poor baby Matt’ while a song from folklore plays in the background.”
“That is so not true.” Matt protested. 
“‘Poor Matt and his autism’ while some sad song plays in the background. You like it because it validates you.” Chris chuckled. 
“That’s not true!” Matt was starting to get teary eyed, but he couldn’t help it; he was sensitive. “Some of them are nice.”
“Miserable Matt’s gotta watch sad edits of himself to fulfill his aesthetic.” Nick laughed. 
All was silent for a moment, until Matt finally spoke, looking at his brothers with watery eyes. “Why are you guys so mean to me?”
“Matt, come on. We’re joking.” Chris rolled his eyes. 
“But it’s not a joke,” Matt whispered, avoiding their eyes. “You guys use me as the butt of the joke all the time. ‘Matt’s too quiet’, ‘Miserable Matt’, ‘Matt and his anxiety’. It’s annoying, okay?”
“It’s just a joke, Matt,” Nick tried to explain calmly. “We don’t mean any harm.”
“Do you? Because last time I checked, making fun of someone’s disability or mental health problems is harm.” 
“Don’t be like that, bro.” Chris tried to put a comforting, ‘olive branch’ hand on Matt’s shoulder. 
“No,” Matt stood up, throwing his headphones off. “I’m done. Finish recording without me.”
The boy quickly exited the room, leaving a stunned Nick and Chris in his wake. Matt didn’t usually lose his cool like that when he knew the camera was rolling, but he hadn’t been sleeping well lately and the last thing he wanted was a recording of him bordering on a meltdown. Even if it could be edited out, he really didn’t want that immortalized forever. They were embarrassing enough as it was. 
Matt retreated to his room, anxiously playing with the tangle that he kept in the pocket of his hoodie for when he needed a fidget toy. The calm, woodsy aesthetic of his bedroom relaxed him somewhat as he stepped inside his safe haven. It wasn’t enough, though. He needed someone who got it, who knew it was like to feel different. And so, he pulled out his phone, quickly texting you.
Matt: babe, can we go to the park?
You looked up from your book when Matt’s text came through. As an autistic couple, you had set up a ‘code word’ for when either one of you felt like they were on the verge of having an autistic meltdown, and that was Matt’s. You quickly gathered your things, speeding over to the triplets house as Matt sent you a flurry of texts, somewhat describing what had happened.
When you let yourself in with the key they had given you, Nick and Chris looked up, surprised by your entrance. “Where’s Matt?” You asked. 
“In his room.” Chris mumbled, not looking up from his phone. 
You didn’t have the energy, nor were you in the mood to deal with the boys right now, so you quickly pushed past them, hurrying up the stairs. “Can I come in, sweetie?” You asked when you reached Matt’s door, knocking softly. 
You were quite worried about the silence until your phone pinged with a text of mhm from Matt. You realized that meant that he was probably nonverbal at the moment, and you hastily let yourself into the dark room. Matt had drawn the curtains, turning on one small lamp with a soft, orange glow. Your boyfriend was huddled up under his weighted blanket, headphones on and softly stroking Mr. Wrinkleton’s fur. You let out a breath when you noticed that he seemed much more relaxed than when he had first texted you, but that didn’t stop you from missing the tear tracks on his cheeks. 
“Hi sweet boy.” You spelled into his palm as you softly set down on the bed beside him. 
Matt grabbed his communication cards off the nightstand, riffling through them for a moment, before he showed you the one that said ‘Can I have a hug?’. Without another word, you pulled your boyfriend into a deep pressure hug, knowing they were his favorites. They made his body feel perfectly aligned and usually helped calm him after a meltdown. After a moment, Matt pulled out of your grip, slipping his headphones off. 
“We don’t have to talk about it, hun. We’ll work it out with Nick and Chris later, okay? You just relax, baby,” You said gently. “Are you hungry, hun?”
Matt shook his head, grabbing your palm and spelling out ‘I just want you’ in your palm since he didn’t have a card for that. You smiled, placing a kiss on his cheek. This was one of your favorite parts about being a neurodivergent couple. You just got each other in a way that other people didn’t. You could sit in companionable silence and never feel awkward or bored. In your embrace of him, you noticed that Matt had slid a card towards you that read ‘Can we watch nature videos?’. 
One of Matt’s special interests and overall favorite things, was nature, but especially the forest and woodland animals. He could watch the soothing videos of the forest in its natural state for hours and not get bored, which had led you two to make a special card just for that when you were making his communication cards together. Your boy smiled as you stood up, grabbing the remote for his TV, before flicking it to one of Matt’s favorite, ten-hour-long videos of the forest and its animals on YouTube. 
“I love you, babe.” You told him as you both got comfortable under his large weighted blanket. 
‘I love you!!!!!’ Matt explained, showing you a card. 
The extra exclamation points had been at his insistence. He insisted that he loved you more than anyone else and needed you to know that. You couldn’t lie when you said that that had made you smile. You were each other’s first significant other, and Matt made you feel so completely special. Even now, as you laid here together, not speaking but cuddling as you watched videos of chipmunks and deer, you knew that Matt was your person. 
Tumblr media
tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @mattsfavwh3re @melguilbert @idek3000hi @faygo-frog @mayhem-72
note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3
309 notes · View notes