#maybe I'll be better if I take my meds

[el-ow-world]

Everything is fine but I'm engulfed with sadness. Everything is fine but I want to cry so badly, and I can't, because I have no reason to cry; the tears just won’t come. Everything is fine but my heart hurts so much. Everything is fine but why am I thinking of hurting myself?

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[front-facing-pokemon]

[knifegremliin]

these antidepressants sure are antidepressanting!!!

[dandyshucks]

good lawrd i gotta fix my sleep schedule. and my medication schedule ^^;;

[thethingything]

I've noticed that because of all the medical shit we've dealt with this year and the sheer amount of stress from how triggering some of it is, we've reached a point where I start to feel anxious and get an overwhelming sense of dread anytime I have to take a medication, no matter which medication it is.

this is obviously not great when we take multiple meds per day and will probably be prescribed more to take after the dental surgery, but I don't really know what to do about it, especially since the extremely triggering medical stuff is still an ongoing situation and this specific stuff is probably the reason any medical stuff makes us panic, along with us getting a similar sense of panic and dread when we encounter various stuff to do with teeth and dentistry.

I don't know what I'm meant to do when taking our meds and brushing our teeth is enough to give us a sense of impending doom so strong we get nauseous from it.

also I'm fine while I'm drawing, but the minute I'm not distracted I start getting intrusive thoughts and our brain will not stop giving me flashbacks on top of bringing up the current situation that's fucking me up and I'm basically writing this while dissociated as hell and relying on that to stop me properly remembering or thinking about the stuff that's going on in any more detail than what I've written here, but even that's enough to still make us anxious and on edge, and the dissociation/amnesia only kicks in this hard after we've panicked hard enough about it.

we've been having multiple panic attacks per day and getting migraines every time we're reminded of the situation. I'm ending up in significantly worse pain because of the sheer amount of stress from this shit

[seaofreverie]

Wanted to start working on projects for my part-time school this weekend but instead all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and play mario kart or lay in bed and listen to music

[tezuka-brainrot]

I've extended the Tezuka hyperfixations into the self care area...

[queerholmcs]

hate that i'm like. getting good at giving presentations.

[ame-to-ame]

this is so fucked up that to not feel nauseous i have to feel depressed as fuck

[le-scenariste]

Y'all this mentally ill thing kinda sucks ass I won't lie

[front-facing-pokemon]

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I keep thinkin please stop fucking w/ my head but rly I think I'm just doin all I can to make it last

[tardis--dreams]

I wish i could get buproprion without a prescription this shit is way too good to give up ㅠㅠ

[the-cooler-king]

Yall remember that post that goes like "I told my friend once that when I feel like I'm losing my mind I lay under my desk for a while. One such time I go under there and there is a slim Jim taped to the bottom of my desk with the note, "going insane all alone again?"" I think about it constantly especially when I am going insane

[miniimight]

Hiiii idk if you’re doing requests rn but I just ADORE how you write Izuku and katsuki like omg-

Anyways- my meds are causing me some crazy nightmares lately and I was wondering how they would handle you waking up from a nightmare???

If you don’t take requests then forget this ever happened :’)

Have a nice day byeeeeee!!!

NIGHTMARES you wake up in a start and wake them up in the process

with izuku & katsuki

notes guys i know ive been away for way too long im so sorry!!! :( i'm in the process of moving so it's stressful T-T thanks for the request, anon, hope those nightmares got/get better :( <3

it was so vivid. your mind sunk into an alternate reality that captured all your senses. you felt yourself spiraling deeper and deeper, faster and faster—

your body jolted upright with a breathless yell and a sharp gasp, the world stilling for a mere second...

and then you leaned over your knees, your lungs racing to catch up with your need for oxygen. your chest felt tight and you squeezed your eyes, remembering that your boyfriend was laying peacefully beside you.

you peeked to your side and found him staring right back—wide, bright eyes piercing into your own—sending a shock through your body.

IZUKU

"god, izuku, you scared me—" you sighed, your hand pressing on your stomach as if that would make the uneasy feeling disappear.

"i scared you?" he sat up further, scooching closer to your side. "you scared me, angel. are you okay? you're out of breath, honey. let's do it together, okay?"

you whimpered softly as you tried to follow his guide. izuku could tell you were in distress and it took everything to stop himself from overwhelming you with questions. he just laced his fingers with yours and squeezed.

"good job, honey." izuku praised you ever-so-softly, rubbing your back soothingly. "feeling a bit better?"

you nodded, frowning. "m'sorry for waking you—"

"angel." he whined, letting his eyes do all the talking. "don't do that! please, don't do that." he actually sounded offended.

you looked away from him, your throat hurting from holding back tears. "it's been happening all the time, though, and you need your rest. maybe i should take the guest room?" you were more talking to yourself than anything, but izuku refused to let you entertain such an idea.

izuku's shoulders slumped, the shock fading as drowsiness began to overtake him. he smiled lazily, fighting a yawn. "y/n, even if i knew you would wake me up every night for the rest of time, i'd still choose to be here beside you."

you turned to face him, the horror of your nightmare slowly fading to the back of your mind. "really?"

"really." he confirmed.

you smiled, letting your head rest on your knees as you stared at him lovingly.

the rustle of sheets and whistle of wind reminded the both of you that it was indeed the middle of the night. izuku tugged you closer by your waist, pulling you back onto the bed. he groaned softly, stretching a little before he relaxed against you. "did you wanna talk about it?"

you pursed your lips. curling into his embrace, you immediately felt warmer. "...not right now."

he kissed your forehead. "don't worry, i'll always be right here to protect you from anything your head throws at you. you just tell me and let me at 'em." he kissed you again before wrapping both arms around you.

his steady breathing and soft snores brought a fond smile to your face. you found yourself falling asleep despite the night's events.

KATSUKI

you both stared at each other for a good few seconds before you spoke up.

"sorry for waking you," you mumbled, still having trouble managing your breathing. you turned away from him, pressing your palms into your eyes.

"no," he whispered with a softness reserved for you only. "you didn't wake me."

you stared at him through the darkness and could see him so clearly. "katsuki—"

"shh, it's okay, baby." he gave you a soft smile, once again reassuring you. "come 'ere."

you sniffed as you inched closer. katsuki gently took your arm and pulled you the rest of the way right into his arms. his hand fell to your waist, tracing little shapes and lines as he allowed you time.

"wanna talk about it?" he asked.

you shook your head.

"okay." he squeezed your shoulder, kissing your cheek. he figured you'd tell him when you were ready—the last thing he wanted to do was stress you out even more. it was hard, not to get all the answers on what was bothering was you... it was in his nature to want to make all your problems go away. "what do you need?"

you hand wound around his torso, hugging him back. "um..." you shuddered as you breathed in. "just you."

he smiled against your skin. "yeah? promise you're not holding back on me?"

you giggled. "yes."

"cuz you know i'd do literally anything—"

you sat up slightly, turning to face him with a swat to his chest. your face burned and it was a struggle to recall the images of your nightmare. "katsuki! oh my god."

"what?" he scrunched his nose. his eyes never left you. "it's true."

you returned to your spot between his arm. "just you."

"whatever you say." he pressed his lips to your temple before he got comfy. he sighed. "goodnight, pretty. wake me when those stupid nightmares bug you again, okay?"

your heart fluttered and your smile grew out of your control. "okay."

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3