#But they ARE there and what will we do with this information.... does it truly genuinely matter to me

[thetadispatcher]

Vincent looked up at him and gave him a small smile, showing he appreciated the gesture. He knew it probably didn't mean that much to other people, but to him it meant a lot.

He liked knowing he had other people outside of those who called him family that cared, and didn't mind showing it to help him understand situations or just feel better about them.

The AP700 rested his head back against the other android, deciding he'd completely ignore Dan and Rook to focus on what Bishop was doing.

Nines gave him a calculating look, he had experience with people who would use anything to try to upset him. His human partner did it almost constantly to him, so he could easily recognize when someone else was attempting to do the same.

The only thing he needed any time to figure out was why, it seemed like everyone always had a different reason for why they were trying to get a reaction out of him. Gavin's was just because he liked to be an annoyance, and the fact he couldn't get Nines to react upset him.

Not that he cared, as he enjoyed watching the detective flush with anger whenever Nines didn't give him the reaction he was looking for. Not that he would show the human that he found his small shows of anger endearing.

"I am not that rebellious, no more then Connor is." He wouldn't call Sixty rebellious as the RK800 seemed to be down to do just about anything, he was more of an accidental troublemaker.

"And it's not like the military could do anything about it now if they did find out." Androids had rights now, and they couldn't do anything about the military androids Cyberlife failed to destroy as they were considered people. Also it would likely cause a lot of issues that wouldn't be worth the time and money to deal with.

John didn't see them doing anything about it ever, the androids didn't know anything he would consider damaging if it were to get out. And he never saw service, so he never learned any truly damaging information that the military would be concerned about.

"He might be, considering the fact he was already deviant when he was deactivated as we didn't have to convert him." Dan wasn't sure what to make of that possibility, but Kelvin was the oldest recorded deviant they knew of so far.

He just wasn't about to share that information as he felt the last thing androids needed was to know their god might be real, some might be a little disappointed to find out what he was like.

"I never said he was dumb, he can do some very complicated tasks quite well. Sure he does have his moments where he does something that one would call dumb, but he can hardly be held accountable for it considering his condition." Kelvin was surprisingly good at things one wouldn't expect someone in his condition to excel at, even if he did have times where he acted more childlike then a normal android.

"We are trying to teach him sign language and how to write, but it's a slow process as he sometimes will need to be retaught things he already learned. But if you think she can talk to him, you're welcome to try. It would be nice to better understand Kelvin just in case there is some mental trauma we don't know about. I would hate to learn about it by accidentally upsetting him and still not fully understand the reaction, it would make helping him calm down hard." Even a little more information would be useful, as it might give them a hint on where to look for more.

"Yes, that is correct. He was a gift to the studio that they really didn't care enough to keep, they deposed of him the first chance they got." Brent didn't seem bothered by the studio's blatant disregard for him, in fact he seemed to have expected the treatment and felt nothing about. The JB300 was one of the androids that showed no mental affects from being thrown away, and he even seemed thankful it happened.

"We have a few other ones, ones that you would recognize as a lot of people from your generation are the ones who were ordering these custom units." He could see why someone would want an android of their favorite characters, but he could also understand why they'd be thrown away. They only lasted as long as their novelty or until they needed an expensive repair thanks to being custom.

"Only one other one is present on the property currently, if you'd like I can introduce you to him." Dan knew he would be less bothered by being recognized as a fictional character, Brent just seemed to hate it as he wanted to be his own person and not Data. But the JB300 was okay with it if the person respected the fact he had picked a new name and didn't constantly remind him of his appearance.

The android looked over once again, waiting for Rook to snap back at him. When it was clear she intended to leave him alone he glanced back to Vincent. If his communication skills were poor, he felt he was about to set a new low, but still reached to give his friend a gentle pat in reassurance. Everything was fine, they were just having a feisty mutant over for a bit.

Bishop smirked. That gave him something to work with.

"Yes, that is expected behavior from the rebellious youngest brother."

Even the most collected deviant had to deal with their own emotions and while he couldn't say for sure how prominent Nines' ego was, Bishop would still poke at him until he got a reaction.

It was entertaining enough to him, in any case. He had no reason to stop.

"That's typical of private contractors." he mused, "So you were saved entirely by greed alone. I suppose there is some irony in that."

Much like the fact that androids were simply being tossed in a landfill instead of being recycled. It seemed Cyberlife's entire existence was simply tainted by incompetence.

Rook watched the way Dan's skin regenerated, glad to see no damage was done. The last thing she wanted was to be accused of having hurt the most important guy in the house, especially when she had done nothing but ask questions.

"Who knows, maybe he's patient zero." She shrugged, "Maybe he's like Sixty and likes the way he is. It's never good to assume somebody who's very energetic and content with what they have is dumb. I have a friend who is just as bouncy as Kelvin and she's smarter and wiser than most people."

It didn't look like Kelvin was causing real trouble on purpose. He just moved quietly and that made it easy to forget he was even there doing his own thing.

"So that's why you've got Commander Data running about. Maybe you could ask Willow to talk to Kelvin. He can't talk to you, but she can probably translate for him."

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

Poppy Playtime chapter 4 truly was on another level. Being that Poppy wasn’t lying when she said it was hell. Unlike anything that was seen in the previous chapters. I feel that the prison is going to flip Angel’s world upside down. Angel truly is a pacifist, wanting to save everyone. But I don’t think any of the new experiments that were introduced can be saved.

Nightmare Critters : They’re irrelevant.

Pianosaurus : Mob did do him dirty, but even then in his canon lore, or at least the lore we were given about him, he was a massive failure. In its own prisoner profile it’s stated, “…temperament is like that of a rabid animal. It snaps at perceived motion, eats whatever fits in its mouth regardless of appetite, combats the conditioning staff, and it CANNOT even play its insipid piano rhythms in TUNE.” Plus, it’s does serve a function. Part of Doey’s introduction and showing us just how dangerous Doey can be.

Yarnaby : we have a lot of information on him, specifically from the ARG. Yarnaby is very strong physically, but he is very weak mentally. He seems fine emotionally though, being that he can form attachments to people. However, it was his emotional state that Dr. Sawyer took advantage of. Dr. Sawyer is Yarnaby’s entire world, with Yarnaby being Sawyer’s guard dog.

The prototype was Catnap’s entire world, however the difference between Catnap and Yarnaby is that Catnap does have a “head on his shoulders”, though it did take 50 tries to find the right words and right course of action to change his mind. But so far, from what I’ve seen, if Sawyer instructed Yarnaby to kill himself, he would do it in a heart beat, without a second thought.

The Doctor : Dr. Harley Sawyer is an evil man. Plain and simple. He deeply believes that his creations, everything he has ever worked on since working for playtime and becoming an experiment himself, will give humanity salvation. Nothing Angel says or does is going to change his mind.

Doey the Doegh Man : Doey with three minds in one body is very unstable. Jack, the youngest of the three, is absolutely terrified and just wants to go home with his mommy and daddy, I don’t even think Jack has processed that he killed his parents. Kevin, the most violent of the three, very quick to anger and refuses to listen to reason. Matthew, the eldest, is desperately trying to keep everything under control, trying to hold everyone and everything together. It was stated many times that one stray emotion can send Doey over the edge, turning on and lashing out on even those he trusts. During his boss fight, Doey is filled with nothing but regret, hatred, and sorrow. And Angel, just won’t be able to calm him down.

This idea of not being able to save the toys from the prison comes from the saying, “Anyone can change, but not everyone wants to.” And I feel that prison is really to take Angel by storm.

But of course these are just my thoughts.

I'll just say this: This is a fix it AU man. If you're not expecting me to bend the story to save ANYONE in chapter 4 you aren't going to enjoy the AU.

One nightmare critter will be saved, Pianosaurus isn't going to be permanent feature to the group but he's not going to die, Yarnaby is going to be saved, Doey is going to be saved, Sawyer is going to be forcefully removed from his position of power and "saved". (Really excited for that one.)

[nowonz]

you, me, and the sheep | hatake kakashi.

wc: 1.1k | pure fluff | warnings: none! my first fic on this account! i was overwhelmed with love for kakashi today so i wanted to get this out to help me get back into writing <3

Today’s mission did not go as planned. That much is clear, especially as you approach the front door of your boyfriend’s home worn out and bruised. As one of the more experienced shinobi in the mission’s assigned squad, you were appointed to guide your team to the proper location of the target. However, the mission report neglected to inform you that the target had bought protection from a small, nearby village. 

Luckily, there were no fatalities, but your fellow shinobi, Asuma, received a hefty injury to his leg. You’d just come back from the medical ward and were looking forward to seeing your lover. 

You twist the doorknob and quickly take notice of the dim lights and calming atmosphere. Surely he’s not already asleep, you think. But just in case, you quietly slink through the doorway and shrug off your olive green vest. 

“Everything alright?” 

His voice startles you at first, but you calm yourself once you see Kakashi, clad in a simple black top and grey sweatpants, drying his damp hair with a white towel. Despite how long you’ve been together, and even longer friends, you think you’ll never quite get over how beautiful he is without his mask. 

You fold your vest over a kitchen chair and approach his figure. Immediately, he welcomes you into his embrace, warm from his previous shower. 

“Long day then?” He asks, giving you a soft peck atop your hair.

You wrap your arms around his waist and bury your face into his neck. “The longest.”

“I can tell,” he begins, “by the way you’re clinging onto me.”

You push yourself away, not enough to leave his arms but enough to see his face. “What? You can’t say you don’t enjoy it at least a little bit.”

Kakashi hums, tapping a finger to his chin as if he were having to consider it. “Hm, perhaps I do.” He wraps his arms around you a smidge together. “Are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to guess?”

The playful grin on your face is swiftly replaced by one of embarrassment and disappointment. “It was my fault. Lady Tsunade appointed me as the captain of the squad. Asuma got hurt because of me. I should have been more prepared.” You turn away from him, hoping and praying that he doesn’t see the tears filling your waterline. 

Kakashi’s expression softens and he gently guides your chin to him, coaxing you to return his gaze. “It was an honest mistake. It happens.” He cards a hand through your hair, trying to give you comfort the best way he knows how. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear. You didn’t let this happen on purpose. We know that, and I’m sure Asuma knows too.”

You bury yourself further into his arms and clutch the fabric of his tee. “Let’s run away together. Just you and me.”

He chuckles, allowing his fingers to dance along the length of your arm. “Run away, huh? And where would we go?” His head tips back and his eyes close, allowing himself to be completely immersed in this new fictional world. One so safe and warm, a domestic life the two of you could never truly have.

“The countryside maybe?” You reply, playing with the silver hair at the base of his neck. “You like sheep, hm?”

Kakashi’s heart trembles. “Yeah, I do like sheep.” His eyes crinkle with the wide grin resting on his lips. “The countryside does sound nice. Just you and me, and some sheep.” The smell of the eucalyptus body wash he gradually stole from you washes over you. 

“Just imagine it… you at the top of a hill, surrounded by sheep. The warm sun on your skin gives you a nice, summer glow.” His voice waivers from one tied to this reality to a more soothing one, a Kakashi that is far away from the gruesome reality he knows. “The sky would be a light blue, the clouds big, fluffy, and white. You’d look stunning.” His hands now trace delicate patterns down the small of your back. 

“Me? Get a load of yourself, handsome,” You say, resting your palms against his cheeks. They warm under your words. “The most handsome shinobi in all the land.” You finish the sentiment with a soft kiss on the top of his nose. 

He hums, covering your hand with his own larger one. “You’re not so bad yourself.” He grips your hand, placing peck after peck down the inside of your wrist. It’s your turn to blush. His other hand grips the plush of your hip, a bit rougher than before. 

“Let’s get married.”

His actions falter, but just for a moment. He stands a bit straighter, eyebrows quirking at your words like he’s not sure what to exactly make of it. “Are you serious?” It’s not that he hasn’t thought about it before, but he’s surprised that you would bring up such a topic so suddenly. It’s different than your usual banter. He knows you're being serious, but he needs to hear you say it. That you want to get married to him. That you want him.

“Of course.” You gently remove his hands from their places on your body and guide him to your shared bedroom. “Do you think Lady Tsunade would be the officiant?”

He snickers at the thought. “I have no doubt she’d take it seriously,” he muses. “But I do think she’d take the opportunity to embarrass the hell out of us, as payback for all the headaches we’ve caused her.”

Grinning, you push him down onto the fleece duvet below. He releases a soft grunt and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you to straddle his waist and lower torso. “And then there’d be the wedding night. Just you and me,” he murmurs, his voice low and sultry as he looks up to you. His hands wander up and down your hips, pinching every so often. 

“And the sheep?” you ask as you press one, two, three kisses across his face.

Kakashi nods his head, breathing hitching at the sudden onslaught of affection from you. “Of course. I’m sure they’d love to be a part of our special night.” He teases. 

You lay your head against his chest, feeling every beat and thrum of his heart. His hand drifts up the cradle the back of your head, guiding you to a more comfortable position. He lets out a content sigh and threads his fingers through your hair once more. Soft and tender, just the way you like. “You know, I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else but you.”

He expects a response but is met with your breathing reaching a soft, comfortable pattern. Kakashi smiles, resting his lips against your forehead. The simple idea of him being able to live the rest of his life with you is enough to let any worry wash away, and he drifts to sleep with you by his side.

[random-blurbs]

A/N: How do yall want me to write Mark?? Kindaaa want to make him possessive lowkey but slowburnish does this make sense? Suggestions please?

Groaning you propped yourself up on the plush bed the throbbing pain of your head never truly going away.

It’s been weeks since you’ve been here at least you can only assume with the help of the ticking clock. It reminds you of the room you were formally in just more prison like somehow.

Somehow?

You scoffed as you pressed your hand on your upper neck feeling something just underneath your skin. “Don’t mess with it too much or it can go off.” You barely acknowledged the man in the corner as you huddled into your body. “You promised Mark you would let me out, to help me remember.”

“And we tried Y/N you don’t understand how sensitive this is.” He tried explaining; both of you being broken records as this went on annoyingly long everyday. “Then let me live my life! I won’t do anything I just want normalcy Cecile. That’s it.” You begged as the bruises on your body bloomed. You don’t know why they’re giving you little information about who you are as a person. Rather performing invasive procedures to try getting it bad as apparently it’s more safer, and they can pick and choose what memories you’re given.

But nothing works. You are a blank slate of human being.

“Look kid we really tried and I’m sorry. We don’t know if you’ll get your memories back but we do need you.” He confessed as he took closer steps towards your bed. You made no effort to even try pushing him away. You already knew fighting against them will get you knocked out. Pricked and prodded. You will feel the pain all over again.

You just wanted your parents. You must’ve had parents. You just wanted them to get you out of here already.

“But if you can work for me there’s no more pain. We can take care of you, you can live your life as normal as you can.” You already know it’s too good to be true. He knows that you know.

“But you have to be willing to drop everything to help us.” Shaking your head you tried thinking more about your options. Your very limited options. It was stupid. So stupid. As you thought about your options you wish you had his help. You barely knew the guy. But he had told you he was going to help you.

You should’ve known better to trust a guy you had just met. What were you thinking? You refuse to admit to yourself that you did give in to his looks. Who can blame you really?

“But besides that I can live my life? You won’t be surveilling me 24/7?” You asked which he nodded his head to. “None of that if you’re ok with me popping by to alert you.”

Sighing you leaned your head back realizing what needs to happen. You’re going insane here. You can’t stay here for any longer hoping that Mark will pass by to help you with your memories. You need to find those who you love. “Fine. Whatever I just need to get out.” You finally said as you imagined your life. What it even was.

You barely had a moment to yourself into you fell forward feeling like you were dragged in. Yelping you put your hands up as you crashed into the floor with a loud thud. Somehow you did that with carpet.

Carpet?

Quickly looking up you spun around seeing an unfamiliar room. 2 beds one fully side fully decorated while the side you’re on barely having anything. “This is your dorm room we made sure it was still available to you after we figured everything out.” You took in your room that you could’ve had from the beginning. You could’ve made a friend potentially with the girl next to you. But what’s the point of being angry.

“Thank you…” He gave you an awkward tight lipped smile as he motioned towards the boxes on your bed. “These were here before we found you. We didn’t want to move anything either.” Taking a closer look at the boxes it looked like you went through them as things were sprawled out all over.

Maybe this could help you. “Thank you Cecil. And I’m sorry for y’know-.” Doing the motion of your hand squishing him he waved it off with a shake of his head. “We both messed up. Clean slate now so let’s not regret it.” Agreeing with him he said his goodbye making you stumble back as he teleported away.

“What the fuck…” In awe on how quick it was you realized that’s what probably made you face plant onto the ground. He didn’t face plant tho…

Digging through your boxes you took out different pieces of your personality. Some posters, books, ornaments that are supposed to be you. But it doesn’t feel like you. Biting your lip as you tried to calm the tears that pricked at your eyes it was getting so hard. Fanning your face to calm your nerves you saw a sticky note in the far right corner. Reaching out to it you’re surprised to realize it was a phone.

Need this to communicate so far only my number is in it

“Dammit.” So this has nothing to help you. A fresh new phone with nothing about you. Your head shot up towards the door as you hear the doorknob move. “We actually have to study or I’m kicking you guys out.” Excited to hear a new voice you panicked as you tried making yourself look busy.

“Oh!” Looking up you see 3 people standing there confused to see you. What the-?

You didn’t recognize the 2 people standing there. But him.

He seems stunned to see you. That you were here alive and breathing.

“Oh sorry I was surprised to see you since it’s been a month since the semester started.” The girl in-front said as she took a step closer putting her hand out. “My name is Amber I guess we’re going to be roommates for the year.” Quickly shaking her hand you smiled at her. Hoping to make a friend to help you feel like you belong here. “Yeah um my name is Y/N, sorry for the late notice.” You motioned to your blank side compared to her side filled with life. “It’s ok! I’m glad I finally get a roommate I’ve been wanting someone here so I can complain to about my classes.” You giggled at her comment as you don’t really know what to expect when you start your classes. But it’s an exciting feeling to start.

“What’s your major we might have some classes together if you’re a freshman?” For the first time during your conversation you paused. It was going so normal.

“O-oh my major?” You tried racking your brain through it until you realized once again. This was another thing taken from you. Something so small.

“Oh are you undecided?” Someone chimed in as you saw a pale looking guy with brown hair taking a place next to Amber. Were you?

“Um yeah I am! Still so much I want to do.” You explained as they agreed with what you just said.

But somehow he saw it. The awkward smile you had given them was laced with a pain he knew was familiar to you. As he realized you were still in the dark. Cecil couldn’t help you.

“Um actually I gotta head out. So enjoy studying!” You didn’t really let them respond as you nudged past Mark just needing to get out.

You felt the familiar disappointment rise in your body as you can’t help but be reminded that you’re incomplete. You can’t function normally you don’t even know what you’re doing. Do you actually even belong in this University? Only knowing bits of what happened to you. You knew you were saved from a massacre. But which one was it? They wouldn’t tell you. They would’ve told you if it was family wouldn’t they? All these doubts and thoughts were going to split your head open.

“Y/N!” Turning around you see Mark trying to catch up to you as you rolled your eyes. You didn’t need this right now.

You sped up as you turned the corner as you hear him yell out your name again. He was confused as he didn’t want to full on run after you making a suspicious scene happen.

But you weren’t letting up as you walked out the dorm building feeling the cold air hit you. And it had just hit you. It’s been awhile since you’ve felt the outside air like this. A bitter scoff left your lips as you hear the door open again. And there he stood. The boy who told you he was going to help.

You didn’t realize how much this bitterness ran as you couldn’t help hide the anger in your face. This seemed to deter him as you see his happy face fall. “Y/N… I’m glad they let you out.” You didn’t say anything as you took a seat on the benches infront of the dorm buildings. He saw it. The anger you have for only him. The anger you had when you were in room. You were looking at him as if he was everyone else. And he truly didn’t enjoy it.

“I’m sorry for not being ther-.” You put your hand up signaling him to stop which he immediately did. Not wanting to lower his chances forming a connection between you two. “Please don’t apologize. You weren’t there, that’s it. I can’t be angry at you I don’t even know you.” How curt you were with him left him uncomfortable as he saw how capable you were of having happiness. When your bright smile took over your face making people want to mirror you back. He smile back when he saw it in the room.

“I want to apologize. I told you I was going to help you but Cecil threw me on all these missions out of nowhere!” His reasons still hurt. Nothing will take away the hurt as you were strapped to a hospital bed as you thrashed around trying to get away from the pain.

“Dammit.” You felt the tears prick your eyes as you turned away from him. But with superhuman speed he was sitting right next to you concerned as he sees your hand tighten around each other. “I’m really sorry Y/N. Even if we don’t know each other I still made you rely on me when you had nobody.” As the words spilled from his mouth he fully started to realize the damage he caused. It wasn’t his obligation. But he stilled lulled you into believing you were safe. But as he sees the bruises that are blooming, peeking from your turtleneck. He realized how much he left you with.

He needed to talk to Cecile.

“You don’t owe me anything Mark.” You can’t help being blunt towards him. Everything he says will practically fall to deaf ears as you can’t handle the disappointment again. Can’t handle waiting for him expectantly. Looking like some lost kid waiting to be helped. You won’t feel like that again your body can’t take it.

“I want to be there for you.” You shake your head at his words. “I don’t think your girlfriend would be happy hearing that.” You said as you tried pushing him away as he leaned away from you remembering he left Amber and William. They would understand? It’s not like he finds you attractive and he’s doing this totally out of the goodness of his heart. That’s what he’s rationalizing it as. You were scared and you relied on him he plans on sticking with his word.

“You don’t remember anything from being on campus?” He asked as you groaned in annoyance as he continued. He wasn’t planning to leave even though he knows how annoying he looks. He knows he should leave. But the guilt is eating at him. And you know that’s the reason he’s staying. “I don’t remember anything. Obviously I was supposed to go here but…” Your time was cut short by that massacre. You refuse to believe you were saved from it. How were you the only one who lived.

“Maybe you took a tour or checked out the places around here? Do you want to give it a try?” You quickly shut down the idea making him deflate seeing his eyebrows furrow as he tried thinking of something new. You brought your knees up to your chest. Leaning your head on it looking at him as you see him deep in thought.

You hear him mumble to himself as you heart started to calm. The tears that sneakily got out began to dry as you just took in his appearance. “Does your girlfriend know you’re a superhero?” You asked as you remember how you now live with her. Not wanting to slip up and actually reveal something life changing. He seemed surprised by your question before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “No she doesn’t, so if you can?”

“Don’t worry I wasn’t planning on it. That would be petty of me.” You muttered locking eyes with him. It became calm as he took in your features. You weren’t the scared girl he faced. He saw how tired your eyes looked with a sad smile matching with it. And somehow you pulled him in. He wanted to know you more and disguise it as help. Was it selfish? You needed a friend.

“What if I keep you company during your time here?” Perking up at his suggestion you were confused by what that entails. He saw the curiosity in your eyes as that encouraged him further. “Yeah I’ll just show you around campus all the good spots until you get your friends and stuff. So it doesn’t feel that lonely.” He reasoned as the proposition seemed more tempting as he explained. It would no doubt be lonely for a bit. Especially if you have little breakdowns of not remembering. But Mark knows of your lack of memory so you wouldn’t have to worry too much. It seemed too good.

“How do I know you won’t flake on me?” You ask still doubtful not wanting to agree to Mark’s empty promises. Internally wincing at the jab he still stood his ground confident in what he wanted to give you.

“I’ll take you right now then.” He said with confidence as he stood up offering you his hand. You let your hand fall into his as he helped you up. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ll take you to this coffee shop. Everyone goes there so you would want to know it since it’s also a really good studying place.” He explained as he pointed off to the distance, which also would be a potential place to meet friends. “I might get a meet-cute there.” You wistfully say not remembering how you really were with guys. Did you even have a boyfriend?

“A meet-cute?”

“Yeah like meeting my future husband.” You said shrugging your shoulders as that’s an iconic place that all the rom-coms did it at.

All the rom-cons?

“Oh shit.” Before Mark could finish his very non-wanted imagination of helping you meet your husband he turned to see you with a bright smile. You were grinning, looking up at him that he swears your eyes were twinkling. “I remembered something!” It was surprising to yourself as Mark hugged you in response happy for you. Scarier to yourself as you reciprocated back holding him as well. “That’s amazing! See it’s possible!” He didn’t think on how this can be seen to anyone else. Except he was genuinely happy for you, glad that it’s possible. Glad that you can get a chance to live your life normally.

The thought made you want to cry as you thought about the potential. Pulling away from the warmth of his body as you realized how freezing it really is. “It’s something so little…” You said embarrassingly as you registered how you practically threw yourself on him. “No Y/N this is great! If you want you can always tell me about them even if they’re small. If you want obviously.” He emphasized making you giggle, seeing how careful he is with overstepping your boundaries. “Thank you, I’ll try not to bother you too much.” Officially taking his offer making him grin.

“Oh you’re probably cold! Do you want to head to the coffee shop now?” Hesitating as you didn’t realize he was being serious your eyes went between him and the dorm doors. You really want to go to the coffee shop. Maybe you can remember your coffee order or something. If you ever went with friends?

“I don’t know…aren’t you supposed to be studying right now.” You slightly teased as the realization hit Mark. And it hit him hard. Trying to hide his surprise he was bouncing between two options. He has a smart amazing girlfriend waiting for him to help him with his missed homework assignments. And here he has you.

You are right there waiting for him.

He just wants to help.

“It’s ok we can bring them back drinks. It’ll give me energy to study harder.” He said truthfully. He needs the energy considering earlier he saved a plane from crashing since monsters love to attach themselves to it for some reason. “We should go quickly then so we can give it to them.” You pulled at his arm sleeve walking towards the direction he pointed at prior. He slowly followed you as he debated on asking you what he wanted. He looked around noticing that nobody was out surprisingly and no cameras. It’s like the world was on his side. “What if we fly? It’ll be faster?” Turning back to him you looked at him excitedly as he matched your energy right back. “We won’t get in trouble?” You didn’t want Cecil to suddenly appear in front of you and take you back to that prison. You truly wanted to stay in your lane and not mess anything up.

Letting out an excited yell you wrapped your hands around Mark’s neck as you felt him pick you up. You feel his arms tightly hold your body close to his chest as you just held on tighter. Surprised by his quick actions your body flushed with excitement, he looked down at you with a soft smile as he saw you try to warm yourself. “Just hold tight, I’ll keep you safe.” He wouldn’t have a choice so you happily nod your head at his words. Happy that you found someone you can trust.

———-

“Even if I don’t remember my order, I think the matcha tastes pretty good.” You see the disgusted face that Mark made making you nudge him playfully. Pointing at his drink you shake your head, “What’s the point of getting coffee if you add so much vanilla.” You judged as he acted hurt by your words making you both chuckle down the hall.

Doing the awkward panic pat down as you got closer to your door. You don’t question how Cecile somehow got the keys into your pocket. Should you even question anything anymore?

Opening the door you see the two studying heads zip up making you feel a little awkward. You see them trying to gouge out what happened between you two as obviously they wouldn’t know how you two even met. “We got some drinks for you guys!” Mark boasted happily as he naturally gave the drinks to them, shutting the door behind you. It felt weird being in the same room as them. Offering them a small smile you turned to your side making yourself busy.

“The both of you guys went?” You hear Amber ask as you tried not to look over. Emptying your boxes you hear the hushed whispers between the two. Seeing in the corner of your eye you see the brown haired boy looking over concerned your seeing the two probably talk about you.

Great.

“I think we should study another time.” Amber finally said out loud making you wince hearing some annoyance in her tone. You spared Mark an apologetic glance which he quickly shook his head not wanting you to feel bad. “Bye Y/N it was nice meeting you for like half a second.” Seeing it was the other friend you gave him a tight-lipped smile as Amber rushed them out, following right behind them. You hear arguing behind the door making you move around the room so you don’t accidentally eavesdrop. This is the least you can do for them.

Not wanting to be obvious of their interaction you didn’t turn towards the door as you hear Amber sigh when she walks in. You were setting up your posters, who you now remember as romance characters you adored. Wanting a love just like theirs. “Y/N how do you know Mark?”

Why is that question so scary.

It shouldn’t be. Yet it is.

Turning around slowly you see her at the edge of bed her expression unreadable. “What do you mean?” Her foot tapped excessively as she looked directly at you. Maybe wanting to see if you would lie. “I find it weird how Mark never mentioned you. But it seems like you know each other.” She said a matter-of-factly as she her eyes didn’t waver. “And he tells me he can’t tell me so what am I supposed to think?” She confessed as start to even feel worse about your interactions with him. You never would’ve pursued anything since you knew he was in a relationship. Roommate or not. “I told him not to tell anyone.” You lie.

You don’t want to. But you don’t want her anger to be directed towards Mark, he was just put in a terrible position. “I knew him from awhile back, and it’s just been awhile.” She didn’t seem to believe you making you panic. He left his girlfriend and friend to go after some girl he hasn’t seen in awhile. That sounds terrible jeez.

“My parents were going through something…and I relied on him.” You confess not knowing if you parents were actually a picture perfect family. “I don’t know I was embarrassed if anybody else knew. But he’s the only one who made me feel normal when my life was going to hell.” You swallowed the ball of nerves down as you see her start to look at you in a different light. Glad you weren’t starting anything in their relationship she had to worry about. “But I know now he has a girlfriend so I don’t plan on contacting him in regard to that anymore. So I’m sorry if I made you think there was something.” You finished as you can see Amber trying to find the right words to the story you spun. Somehow out of everything you said the only truth was with Mark. He made you feel normal. Like you have a right to be in their world. And you wanted to be so bad.

“I’m sorry.” Stunned that you heard an apology you looked at her in disbelief as she grabbed your hands confusing you further. “I’m sorry if I looked like some control freak, I’m not you get it-.” Shaking your head furiously you made sure she knew you got what she was trying to say. “But no. Mark is your friend as much as he’s my boyfriend. It was just so secretive and ugh!” Flopping back onto her bed she let her arm fall over her eyes as you see her have an internal battle with herself. “I shouldn’t have doubted that.”

“You have every right to doubt me Amber. I’m a random roommate that popped up after a month of enrollment. I would think you hate Mark if you don’t doubt anything.” You tell her trying to ease her doubts of looking obsessive which she chuckled at. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. You wish you can tell her the full truth as you see her give you a grateful smile but this is enough. Maybe one day when you get closer you can have her help you find the truth.

“Thank you. It sounds nice that I don’t sound crazy.” She confides which makes you chuckle. “So continue talking to him I don’t want to take away your friend. But if you ever need a girlfriend I’m here.”

A girlfriend?

The idea had you jumping in joy. Normalcy. It’s so close.

“I’ll probably take you on that offer I feel like I might need some girl talk. But it’s ok about Mark either way I don’t have his number anymore-.”

She quickly got up putting her hand out towards you. You looked at her confused as she saw your phone beside you. Grabbing it she started to click away. “You need to put a password on this. But here!” Handing your phone back you see she had it open on contacts. Seeing her name, and Mark’s.

“You can text me whenever you wanna hang out, if living with me isn’t enough.” Biting the inside of your cheek you knew you missed this. But finally receiving it after the torture you practically went through at your prison. You were grateful. You don’t know what you did to deserve anything that happened to you. But you’re glad that they’re making it easier. You didn’t know what else to tell her besides thank you, which she smiled happily at.

—————————-

“Holy shit!” Scared out of your mind you see the balding man in front of you, surprised by his sudden appearance. “Am I ever going to get used to that.” He shrugged his shoulders as he took in the surroundings. It was a nice sunny day after you finished your first class of the day. Finding your class schedule in the notes app alongside with some passwords. It was pretty easy but everyone around you had already made their own cliques. It would be awkward going up to anyone right now. Not wanting to be hunged up on it you settled yourself in a beautiful patch of grass with a perfect amount of shade. Wanting to bathe in the sun as much as you can after the month without it. It felt weird at first but you came to love it. “Mark not with you?”

“Why would he be?” You ask genuinely considering Cecile must know everything about everyone. That’s something else you remember. That the government somehow knows everything Cecile being no exception. “He came to talk to me earlier. Wanted you to be out of the field.” Biting your lip you nodded your head at his words not wanting to show your surprise. Why the hell would he go to Cecile? What else did he say?

“Y/N!” You both turn your head seeing Mark out of breath running towards you. Was he running prior? He quickly jogged up to you both eyeing Cecile in the side. Which he rolled his eyes at. “I’m not doing anything villainous Mark. I’m just here to let her know to get suited up with Art later today. She’s going to need to help us eventually.” It was obvious that Mark wanted to throw something in but you gave him a pleading glance which immediately made him back down. Even though he really wished he didn’t. “I just wanted to check in on how you were doing. If there’s anything you need.” Trying to remember if there’s anything missing from yesterday’s day. “Oh! Is there anyway I can get money? Did I have anything or?” Recalling on yesterday’s coffee hangout Mark had to pay as you embarrassingly patted yourself down for a wallet. He was more than willing but still.

“Damn that’s what we were missing.” Digging through his suit he pulled out a leather wallet before pulling out a black card. “Take this for now we’ll set you up eventually with your old stuff just need to fix some stuff.” You absolutely did not want to take that out of his hand. What the hell.

“Is that your card?”

“What no! It’s technically the governments…” He somewhat mumbled as you looked at him with disbelief. “What I didn’t get that!” Mark complained as he was right next to you making Cecile glare at him. “It’s not going to be hers it’s just a placeholder.” Wanting them to stop arguing you grabbed the card shoving it in your pocket. You don’t want to think about the logistics of it. Government card are you kidding?

“Ok I’ll go to Arc or whatever just drop it. And thank you.” You quickly added as you plopped yourself back into your original spot. Drained from the small interaction. He sighed at Mark which was obvious that annoyed him but gave you a respectful nod before teleporting off. “What did I do!” Laughing at his genuine annoyance you pat the empty plot of grass next to you. Complying he sat down with a big sigh as he leaned against the tree. Even though his body looks relaxed his face says otherwise. ��Did something happen with Amber?” You ask hoping he can confide in you as you are with him.

“What?”

“You look stressed so I’m assuming something happened sorry…” Thinking you crossed the line he quickly sat up as he shot down the apology. “No it’s not about her. She was happy with me which I’m assuming you helped with?” He said with a small smile as you replicated his. “I just didn’t want you to get in trouble for helping me.” You explain hoping he wasn’t mad at the lies you told his girlfriend. Thankfully he seemed grateful, for one less thing to stress about. “I appreciate it tho.” Happy that everyone was in a good place you leaned back into the tree which he copied. “Did you want to talk about it?” Carefully asking hoping it doesn’t seem like you’re prodding. “U-um it’s just a lot.” He tried dodging which you didn’t mind. Not wanting to force anything.

“Did you wanna hang out then?” You had one more class but he didn’t need to know that. “You don’t have more classes?” Dammit.

“Nope.” Suspiciously eyeing you he refused to believe your old self would schedule yourself for only one class in a day. Pursing your lips you continued to wait there as Mark tried gouging anything. “Fine. Let’s go somewhere.” Springing himself up he helped you with your bag as you tried to think of what can cheer him up. Movies gives you no chance to talk, coffee shop already happened, what would he like?

“Is there an arcade around here…my treat!” With an excited laugh you pulled out the black card given to you just moments ago. It seemed to bring back the joy in Mark’s eyes as a mischievous smirk graced his lips. Cecile will truly regret not giving him one. “There’s one not too far if you’re ok with walking? Maybe your memory will trigger something?” Agreeing as you didn’t even think about that as he pulled out his phone finding the directions for it. He motioned for you to follow which you closely did, feeling the sun hit you now. It’s such perfect weather you can’t help but grin. “Are you that happy with the sun?” Mark asked with a grin as he sees the sun help you tenfold. Brightening everything about you, it’s unfair how much the sun likes you.

“Of course! I really think it was my favorite type of weather.” Maybe it was actually because that month in that prison is something you never want to go through again. You probably took for granted the sun but now you definitely won’t. “Yours? You kinda seem like a snow type of guy.” He gives you a questioning look as you comforted him that it wasn’t an insult. “Sunny weather definitely.” You give him a doubtful look as he swore that he didn’t take your answer. You really swore it could be that or rain.

“Also if you’re ok with helping me? Can you take me to Arc’s later? I’m not too sure how to get there.” He laughed as he saw you just realize you knew nothing what Cecile was trying to tell you. “What were you going to do if I wasn’t there?”

“I think you would’ve shown up eventually. You did promise me to help.” You say gratefully in response to Mark’s teasing. “You’re not wrong.” You don’t know how to feel as you’re slowly starting to see the amount of help Mark is trying to provide. You’re grateful but you don’t want to take advantage of this kindness. “If it’s alright with you I can help you train so you know what to expect? Or if you rather do that in the GDA?” Only needed a moment to choose between the two you thanked Mark again never feeling like enough as he came through once again for you. “Can I fight with you next time!?” He was amused by your exhilarated reaction to the idea of fighting side by side. But the idea of you being introduced to a whole new world of people… he’s not too thrilled about that. Was this opening too much to you at a time. He was somehow stressing himself out with this.

“You don’t have to say yes it was somewhat a joke.” You said dejectedly not knowing the emotional turmoil he was just going through - you took his stressed face as a no. “W-wait no-.” He swears he sees your body melting into the floor in embarrassment as he felt 10x worse as he really tried fixing his wording, too many words swirling through his head. “Of course I want you by my side!”

“Mark!”

“N-not like that obviously! You can fight!” You both turned away from one another burning hot with embarrassment as the conversation sounded insane to everybody who hear. Not wanting to be the first to break the awkward silence that took over you both. You can’t be too mad as you’re happy with Mark just having your back and making up for his ‘mistake’.

Even though you accept the fact that he couldn’t do anything about it and you’re just grateful he’s here. Hoping to make it up to him eventually.

[polgarawolf1]

Honestly? He's also kind of a lazy writer. I mean, just off the top of my head, in Star Wars: The Clone Wars, aside from completely misisng out on adding any richness or depth (or possible foreshadowing about what Skeevy Sheev might be up to) to the story by working in Sith alchemy, experimental cloning, Nightsister Dark Magicks, or anything at all truly interesting, he just . . . basically goes, "Somehow, Darth Maul survived." And we're supposed to just take that and believe he lives on rage alone, even though he's literally missing the majority of his digestive system (not to mention basically his body's ENTIRE waste management system), having been completely bisected by lightsaber at or slightly above the waist. He makes Ahsoka be assigned to Anakin as a Padawan instead of . . . oh, planning ahead so that someone else always has a claim on her and he's always going to end up losing her because her first Master is still alive, just recovering from something like, say, nearly being killed at Geonosis. That could have opened up SO MANY MORE storylines about the Jedi and how the Jedi Order functions (not to mention how the war might be changing things) - what Jedi do when Masters are too damaged to keep teaching their apprentices; what Jedi do about orphaned and virtually orphaned Padawans; and even, on the flip side, how Jedi generally treat Jedi who lose their Padawans (does the High Council automatically assign such a Jedi another apprentice? No? Why not? Or if not immediately, then when?) - and could've avoided the entire godsawful horrendous stereotypical "let's turn one of the widely seen as being Muslim-coded character into a terrorist" storyline with Barriss Offee, since, again, Anakin would always have to given Ahsoka back up to her original Master, once said original Master's considered fieldworthy again.

He's also lazy in that, instead of doing to work to show character motivations and to give them more/different motivations, he mostly just kills off female characters in order to force people to be sad and then to act out because of their grief and anger or else to add more "pathos" to the story (like it actually NEEDS more!). He fridges Mina Bonteri, Steela Gerrera, Jedi Initiate Kalifa, Jedi Master Adi Gallia, Jedi Master Tiplar, Teckla Minnau, and Satine Kryze (Duchess of Mandalore) in Star Wars: The Clone Wars (and he does kind of the same thing to Rush Clovis, too, arguably, though that's more to drive Padmé - who's basically informally on a break/separated from Anakin because of his behaviour towards Rush Clovis - back into Anakin's arms).

I can't speak much to other shows - I'm perpetually behind on seeing things because we couldn't get streaming even if we could afford it or wanted it. Plus, I just hate the animation design for Rebels - from what I'm given to understand from what I've seen online, though, his laziness as a writer is an ongoing issue. He has a bad habit of coming up with great characters but failing to follow through in any truly meaningful way on their backstories in regards to their cultures. There is SO MUCH we don't know about Mandalore, given how often Mandalore/Mandalorians come up in his shows, that it's not even funny.

Also, I want to sic George Lucas on him every single time the lying LIAR lies about the Jedi in general.

Hi Lumi. This year I’ve watched The Clone Wars, Rebels, Mandalorian, Book of Boba Fett, and Tales of the Jedi and I’m watching Ahsoka as episodes are released. But I feel like I’m missing some context as to why people are wary of Filoni. What things should I know so I’m caught up, so to speak, in the fandom discussions?

Hi! That's a lot of Star Wars to watch in a year, I hope you're having fun with it all! And I will gently remind everyone that Filoni is not the be-all-end-all of Star Wars creators--Henry Gilroy was there for TCW and Rebels, too. George Lucas was holding writers' meetings years after the show started (at least into 2010!). The Mandalorian and The Book of Boba Fett are far more Jon Favreau's shows. The Bad Batch is Brad Rau and Jennifer Corbett. Resistance was developed by him, but was run by other producers. It's just that Filoni tends to get the most camera time and has become the face of Star Wars creators. That said, the issue with Filoni is kind of two-pronged, though, they overlap. 1. He's done a lot of interviews where he's said a lot of anti-Jedi things that have drifted from reasonable critiques in the beginning to eventually "Qui-Gon Jinn was the only true Jedi. [blatantly wrong citations]" This has put a lot of people off him as a creator, because we love the Jedi Order that Lucas talks about and established, which Filoni has actively contradicted over the years, despite being promoted as someone who follows Lucas' themes. And it's hard not to be aware of his interviews when watching his shows and it's hard to enjoy shows that do your faves dirty, you know? 2. His writing has become weaker over the years for a lot of us--Rebels is a show most of us love and found to be incredible. Many of us really love The Clone Wars, which he was heavily involved in/was probably the central voice after Lucas started phasing out. But his biggest story told over the course of those series--basically, the story of Mandalore's history and fall to the Empire--has been extremely thin for a lot of us. And a lot of us get frustrated at his inability to be objective when it comes to Ahsoka's character, that we love her as a character very much, but it hasn't felt like Filoni really knows what to do with her character arc and yet almost everything he writes is centered around her. His final season of The Clone Wars? Gave her the walkabout arc and the Siege of Mandalore arc, both of which often did not hold up well under scrutiny. His episode of The Book of Boba Fett? I actually really loved it, but it absolutely just stopped the pacing of that show to focus a lot on her. More on Luke, but he couldn't resist putting her in there, either. Tales of the Jedi was half devoted to Ahsoka and so much of it wasn't even about her time as a Jedi! We're frustrated because he doesn't set things up well anymore--Morgan Elsbeth is a Nightsister?? Why wasn't that established in The Mandalorian instead of pulling out randomly in Ahsoka? Why does Sabine Wren suddenly so badly want Jedi training, when they barely even had a conversation in Rebels?? There's a lot of good that Filoni has given to Star Wars, I think he genuinely cares about the Force and what it means--he's very consistent on how it's not easy and how it takes discipline and control, that he has been consistent on how anger and fear are paths to the dark side, even his episode of TBOBF had Ahsoka saying, yeah, attachment is a path to the dark side, because the Jedi mean "attachment" in a more Buddhist-aligned way. A lot of his writing for the character of Ahsoka is actually pretty good, like I've been enjoying her being a prickly, traumatized hot mess in the show! It's just that I kind of hate all the interviews he gives and I think he's a lot less objective than a lot of fans and media coverage that would hold him up as a perfect writer/interviewee about all things Star Wars, and it all comes together to make him kind of a hot-button topic.

So, a lot of people LOVE Filoni's work, a lot of people are frustrated by it, a lot of people are casually fine about it, a lot of people HATE Filoni's work and it can be a fun mix of any of the above or even other issues that come up. (And that's all fine! I have my views on Filoni's work, but it's fine if others hate it more than I do or love it more than I do, there's room for us all, all of it is valid.)

But I think if you want to understand some of the roots of this corner of fandom's frustration, two (admittedly long as heck) homework assignment reads would be:

- My own rebuttal to Dave's behind the scenes Mandalorian Gallery talk (this is jokingly referred to as "Davegate" because I refused to take it too seriously) - @david-talks-sw's collection of comparisons between Lucas' commentary on the Jedi and Filoni's commentary on the Jedi

This response itself is more focused on laying out the problems a lot of people have with Filoni's writing, but also honestly I still have my giant collection of Jedi source material citations that quotes his commentary, I still bring up Filoni's quotes in current meta a lot, I still talk positively about the things I enjoy from his shows, so overall there's equal amounts of both praise and criticism here. So, as short as I can make it (which isn't very, shut up, I know! XD), that's basically what people mean when they say they're wary of Filoni.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

KILL!!!!!!!!!

[puhpandas]

Hii Percy!! I'm curious- what would be your ideal fnaf game after SOTM releases?

HI CHIP!! of course theres so many things I want to see after waiting so long but honestly I think a ggy game is what I'm expecting next. honest to god anything ranging from vanny!cassie to ggy and all the (human and not Cassies dad) characters in between I would be very happy with. it's why I'm so excited for sotm to finally release and end the mimic incorporation era. literally everything else it has left to cover are things that I would love

but yeah I think a ggy game would be absolutely hype and is actually very likely because of the THREE references/easter eggs weve gotten for him in a row!! I'm very excited to see what they're doing for him because damn ggy for Gregory's backstory has gone untouched for so long

I would love to see it explored in a campaign scenario of Gregory himself finding out about it but tbh I'm honestly expecting some prequel game about it that mostly just confirms it exists and expands upon content we dont know about from ggy like Rabs design and how he interacts with vanny. campaign would obviously be so much better for everyone involved but any ggy content is a win in my book

[redgoldblue]

for the drabble spotify wrapped game, if you want: i rolled my rainbow d10 twice and we have a 75 🌈

❤️ 🌈

75: America's Sweetheart by Elle King

uh. I don't know where this came from. i apologise, my partner-in-fluff 🫡

Also I am obviously not abiding by the technical 100-word definition of drabble here, but instead the much looser 'short piece of writing'.

spotify wrapped drabbles!

Steve doesn't know when he stopped caring about killing people. It didn't bother him until he started caring again.

It's not anyone unusual, is the thing that gets him. It's a nameless, almost-faceless drug smuggler that he didn't even mean to kill, but he shot with intent to disable and a little too much carelessness in a rush to stop the ship they came in on, and when he finally loops back around there's a pool of blood and a corpse with a busted femoral artery.

He's kneeling down, checking a pulse even though it's clearly absent, removing weapons even though he'll clearly have no use for them, when his fingers brush against a thin edge in the inside pocket of the off-the-rack grey suit jacket the guy's wearing.

When he pulls it out, it's a photo. He has to look down to check that it's the same guy in it, partially because death rictus changes a face, especially when your comparison is smiling and happy, and partially because he just hasn't looked at his face properly. It's the same guy, his arm around a similarly smiling woman shoulder-height to him and so close in features she has to be his sister, with a chubby-cheeked frizzy-haired kid straddling his shoulders and holding onto the woman's hand.

One of the first things the military teaches you, explicitly or not, is to erase personhood. Your own, and your enemy's. Numbers, statistics, body parts and targets and usefulness.

He puts the photo back into the dead man's jacket and moves away. A tech comes at some point, body-bags him, and Duke is there and the rest of his team have it well in hand, so he goes back to where their cars are parked, boosts himself onto the hood of the truck, and waits.

Kono walks past at some point, but they're still in the midst of cleanup and HPD handover, so even though she does slow and ask, "You okay, boss?", when he replies in the affirmative she nods and keeps moving.

He remembers himself before. He remembers when it would never would have occurred to him not to think that every person with a bullet in them is a person with a family. A person with a life, at least before they were a person with a death.

He doesn't bother trying to count. The impulse washes over him, but it would take hours with military records and Five-0 reports to calculate anything even close to accuracy.

Himself before was decades ago, but also not that long ago. It was target practice at the Academy and work behind computers in Military Intelligence and crawling through mud with a similarly young Freddie by his side.

Himself after, apparently, is sitting on his own truck at the edge of his own city watching his family and his family's family and his friends and his friends' friends move efficiently through shipping containers and body bags.

Eventually, Danny finds him. He takes one look at Steve's face; he doesn't say anything, just leans against the hood next to Steve and waits.

Eventually, Steve finds the words. "I don't think the military would like me anymore, Danny."

It's not all that new a state of affairs; he got driven by revenge and tattoos in non-regulation places and too many personal attachments and he remembered how to have fun in quiet spaces and how to love in loud ones. He started caring again.

"Good," Danny says, harsh and definite, and Steve realises with a start that the things that would debase him in the eyes of his country are probably exactly the same reasons Danny - not just Danny, his whole family - would cite for loving him. Except the tattoos, maybe.

He can't bring himself to be upset about it in the face of that.

[indigodawns]

.

[ergativeabsolutive]

I know i've expressed this before but "family abolition" as a concept vexes me because I don't know how exactly I'm supposed to relate to it. there is clearly something that both I and self-proclaimed family abolitionists both want to abolish and we at least partly agree wrt many specific approaches to this but I don't recognize and in fact reject their identification of this thing-in-need-of-abolition with anything called "The Family". and then sometimes they will haul off and say shit that I'm actually strongly against on principle and claim it as core to "family abolition". there seems to be some private concept of family as distinct from kinship itself that doesn't really feel useful or even available to me; it just gets no traction in my brain. so it really feels like they're just saying "abolish [kinship systems I don't like] now!" which is fair, but like.

[bywandandsword]

I've talked about it before, but my grandpa was a Crosgrove, which is an anglicisation of O'Coscraigh (descendant of Coscraigh). But, you see, according to family history, the Coscraigh in question is Cúscraid Mend Macha, son of Conchubar Mac Nessa

The reason I bring it up again is because I realized that, if the family history is to be believed, that means my ancestor was first cousins with Cú Chulainn, and also his father was probably responsible for the Curse of Macha

[volfoss]

The fact I'm 20% through this book and like maybe 3 things have happened at most... We are SO back in Anne Rice exposition dump hell forever and ever

[shadesofmauve]

I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.

Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.

He was really nice.

Yeah.

It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?

You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."

You didn't, loves, you didn't.

We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.

I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.

Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.

When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"

No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.

Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?

Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.

That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.

I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.

A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.

I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.

So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!

Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.

You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.

I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.

I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.

It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.

Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.

[chronicbitchsyndrome]

i have been in community with profoundly developmentally disabled peers and peers with brain damage my whole life, bc i had a childhood diagnosis. i have also been leftist my whole life; my mother was a marxist and raised me that way, and while their politics were absolute dogshit, they were lefty dogshit.

my entire life, i have seen leftist educators throw mentally disabled people away as "lost causes" because they couldn't engage with the material the way it was being presented. leftist outreach and education does, genuinely, have a massive lack of accessible material. to be blunt, people are not interested in retrofitting their leftist outreach to be accessible to people who learn best through episodes of sesame street.

as in, i have repeatedly faced outright laughter and cruelty over the idea that this could be a priority. or even something that we consider doing at all.

"people who are that mentally disabled don't need to know about these things," the kindest interpretation goes. ("people who are that mentally disabled don't interact with the world, anyway, they're all in institutions or monitored 24/7 by their parents," the uncharitable underlying assumptions go. "they wouldn't be a worker who needs a union. or a library attendee. or a member of the community garden. or a volunteer at the food bank. or or or")

the people i have seen this hurt the worst, over and over again, are profoundly mentally disabled people of color whose lack of access to accessible antiracist education is causing real danger in their lives. institutionalized disabled people of color who have learned racist ideology and behaviors from white authority, whether they were adopted by white families or incarcerated in care institutions run by white staff. who are treated lower than garbage by leftist educators, who view them as "lost causes," as unworthy of time and effort and attention, as deserving of their abuses because they... what... internalized the abuses that make up every aspect of their lives since birth?

i see people saying things in this conversation like "disability isn't an excuse for racism or transphobia or whatever, people have the obligation to improve themselves." oh, believe me, i have seen again and again how many privileged disabled people utilize their disabilities to punch down on others, try to escape accountability for their punching down by citing disability. but individual weaponization of identity is just that: weaponization of identity.

the power structures at play are what they are. it is a noble and admirable goal to want leftist outreach and education to be more accessible to all. if that is truly your goal, you must eventually reckon with the existence of people who do, actually, really need it presented in a picture book. or an episode of bluey. or a conversation where you only use examples of people they know in real life, using things that happened to them personally. the existence of people who cannot grasp forms of abstract reasoning, who need information presented as rules, or as guidelines, or as categories. the idea that yes, fully grown adults who need daniel tiger to explain racism to them are human beings who not only deserve access to that very thing, but who also deserve to be a part of leftist spaces and benefit from leftist organizing. are people for whom it might be INTEGRAL they get to be a part of leftism. are victims of racism themselves and suffering without access to antiracist spaces and community and support.

and you will need to reckon with the abject cruelty of your peers who laugh and mock the very idea of this. you need to reckon with the fact that a lot of people you respect, a lot of leftists doing genuinely good work, will respond to this by making fun of the people you're serving, even outright telling you their violent fantasies about these people. that is the experience of organizing in leftist spaces for profoundly disabled people. that is why so many of us burn out so fast. there IS a structural problem with mentally disabled people being seen as disposable and not a part of community. and it is EXTREMELY present in leftist organizing and outreach efforts.

[saritawolff]

Phew. This one took, uh… a bit longer than expected due to other projects both irl and art-wise, but it’s finally here. The long-awaited domestic animal infographic! Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough space to cover every single domestic animal (I’m so sorry, reindeer and koi, my beloveds) but I tried to include as many of the “major ones” as possible.

I made this chart in response to a lot of the misunderstandings I hear concerning domestic animals, so I hope it’s helpful!

Further information I didn’t have any room to add or expand on:

🐈 “Breed” and “species” are not synonyms! Breeds are specific to domesticated animals. A Bengal Tiger is a species of tiger. A Siamese is a breed of domestic cat.

🐀 Different colors are also not what makes a breed. A breed is determined by having genetics that are unique to that breed. So a “bluenose pitbull” is not a different breed from a “rednose pitbull”, but an American Pitbull Terrier is a different breed from an American Bully! Animals that have been domesticated for longer tend to have more seperate breeds as these differing genetics have had time to develop.

🐕 It takes hundreds of generations for an animal to become domesticated. While the “domesticated fox experiment” had interesting results, there were not enough generations involved for the foxes to become truly domesticated and their differences from wild foxes were more due to epigenetics (heritable traits that do not change the DNA sequence but rather activate or deactivate parts of it; owed to the specific circumstances of its parents’ behavior and environment.)

🐎 Wild animals that are raised in human care are not domesticated, but they can be considered “tamed.” This means that they still have all their wild instincts, but are less inclined to attack or be frightened of humans. A wild animal that lives in the wild but near human settlements and is less afraid of humans is considered “habituated.” Tamed and habituated animals are not any less dangerous than wild animals, and should still be treated with the same respect. Foxes, otters, raccoons, servals, caracals, bush babies, opossums, owls, monkeys, alligators, and other wild animals can be tamed or habituated, but they have not undergone hundreds of generations of domestication, so they are not domesticated animals.

🐄 Also, as seen above, these animals have all been domesticated for a reason, be it food, transport, pest control, or otherwise, at a time when less practical options existed. There is no benefit to domesticating other species in the modern day, so if you’ve got a hankering for keeping a wild animal as a pet, instead try to find the domestic equivalent of that wild animal! There are several dog breeds that look and behave like wolves or foxes, pigeons and chickens can make great pet birds and have hundreds of colorful fancy breeds, rats can be just as intelligent and social as a small monkey (and less expensive and dangerous to boot,) and ferrets are pretty darn close to minks and otters! There’s no need to keep a wolf in a house when our ancestors have already spent 20,000+ years to make them house-compatible.

🐖 This was stated in the infographic, but I feel like I must again reiterate that domestic animals do not belong in the wild, and often become invasive when feral. Their genetics have been specifically altered in such a way that they depend on humans for optimal health. We are their habitat. This is why you only really see feral pigeons in cities, and feral cats around settlements. They are specifically adapted to live with humans, so they stay even when unwanted. However, this does not mean they should live in a way that doesn’t put their health and comfort as a top priority! If we are their world, it is our duty to make it as good as possible. Please research any pet you get before bringing them home!

[the-cooler-king]

Yall remember that post that goes like "I told my friend once that when I feel like I'm losing my mind I lay under my desk for a while. One such time I go under there and there is a slim Jim taped to the bottom of my desk with the note, "going insane all alone again?"" I think about it constantly especially when I am going insane