#maya is so tired of everyone's bullshit
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doydoune · 1 year ago
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random aa doodles totally in order
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emily-prentits · 6 months ago
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thoughts on the greys s19 finales? s19 kinda underwhelmed me (marina is cute but the baby thing bores me to no end which in turns makes them as a ship dull to me sacrilege i know lol but it’s the truth) and i never got super into yasuda/helm but im kinda loving the possibility of yasuda/jules? idk what’s going on there but the chemistry>>>
ohh boy. so i have a lot of thoughts on the finales LOL. it got really really long and it only aired yesterday so spoilers are under the cut for those that haven't seen!
grey's:
sooo. i hated it. as a writer, as a viewer, i fucking hated it. honestly, i should have come into the fandom earlier because this season being my first to watch live sucked ASS and was more losing than winning. narratively speaking, the vast majority of the writing choices made ZERO sense. not winston/monica (AFTER ALL THE MONMELIA BUILD UP??), not julesmika (sorry, i love them, but they make no narrative sense. unless they're trying for a mertina type relationship which im not sure i entirely like either), and not whatever bullshit was going on with catherine. i know she has played big bad boss lady in the past but honestly this season the writing for her was very... flat? one dimensional? it was almost like she could ONLY be the antagonist and she wasn't allowed to have any other role in this season. i don't think we saw her outside of the hospital at all in the whole 10 episodes. while i DO understand they had to make some necessary cuts because of the shortened length of the season... was it really worth keeping catherine fox in this season if they were going to ruin her?? because i do NOT think so. and what was UP with her firing half the hospital in one episode??? fuck that??
to be completely honest lol, i'm tired of this show and the way they hate their gays. helmika breakup, no monmelia ANYTHING -- making monica hook up with winston after zero build up?? if you want to write a bisexual character this is NOT the way to do it -- schmitt leaving next season, trying to build up the julesmika relationship when midori is leaving in the next season?? i admit they're cute, but there's no way the relationship is sustainable. and it makes me so sad.
and... oh my god don't get me started on mernick. to preface everything i say about them: i think they're cute! genuinely i do! i don't hate them at all, which makes it so much harder when i have to say that they make no sense together long term. meredith is very clearly not as in love with him as he is with her (he said he wanted to marry her, walked out, and she had. zero reaction. to any of it. if anything she kind of treats him like a child?😭) and she only really fights for him when it looks like he's going to leave. she'll only fight for her stability if there's a real threat of losing it. in a way, i suppose it's not surprising. they mirror merder but only in all the bad ways, the way that merder was starry eyed intern x dreamy neurosurgeon turns into the way that mernick is essentially idol x fan. there's no way either of those relationships could have lasted in the long run -- BECAUSE of their foundations. and it makes me so sad bc why is meredith doing the same fucking things after 20 SEASONS. she of ALL the characters deserves to have some character development after all this time.
station 19:
loved it. cried so many times. the episode ended and i walked around feeling so empty. i will admit i have only seen marina spoilers and have not watched any of the seasons until season 7, so my view might be a bit skewed. cried with the marina family (maya's development from season 1 to season 7? 🥹), cried when travis went with vic (someone finally choosing to put first the Put Everyone Else First Person??? hello tears). the flashes forward and back were so interesting, definitely kept me engaged. i was so scared tho when they kept showing the burning gear when andy was missing 😭 i was like they BETTER NOT have killed her. and then all was well <3 more or less.
overall for station 19, i think they really did the best they possibly could have with how many episodes they were given to wrap up the series if it doesn't end up getting picked up. i liked it a lot more than grey's, for sure :)
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janatm · 13 days ago
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it's all in the things you didn't say || PUCKEVA
tagging: Eva Anderson & Noah Puckerman
date & time: October 19, 2024 in late morning, early afternoon
location: Puck's house, in the front yard bu the rose bushes
warnings: none!
summary: This conversation has been a long time coming, but Puck still wasn't prepared and Eva probably wasn't expecting all of that either.
word count: 4,560
EVA had been so fucking relieved to get home, shower, DoorDash herself a 5-star fucking meal that she scarfed down in minutes, and then just sleep. She'd slept in the next morning as well, and had been prepared to just stay wrapped up in bed all day until she started getting texts from Santana Lopez. She knew her, to an extent, and the woman gave her a brief yet detailed rundown of her connection to Puck and what she thought of the throuple before urging (or politely demanding) that she come over and at least let Puck see that she was okay post-lockdown bullshit. She only spent half an hour debating it before she got up, tossed on a pair of leggings, a tank top, a pair of sneakers, and tossing her messy hair into an even messier bun. In no mood to worry about make up, she grabbed her purse and keys and headed to her car. This was stupid, she knew that much, but mostly because Puck's baby mama had planned it and he had no idea she was even coming over. But after opening up to Morgan, it was only fair that she do the same for Puck, so she sucked it up and drove over to his house anyways. As soon as she pulled into the driveway, she saw Santana get up from the porch and head inside as she parked. "Puckerman!" Santana yelled out once she stepped inside, and she waved off Jake and Maya giggling over on the couch. "You have a visitor outside, pendejo." The Latina stated smugly before she motioned for her kid and her uncle to go play video games or something as she noticed Eva climbing out of her car.
PUCK had damn near ran all the way home after they finally released them from lockdown. Six fucking days. Dude was starving, tired, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. But more than anything he wanted to see his kid. Thankfully his truck was wear he'd parked it and despite sitting around for almost a week, it didn't seem to have a scratch on it. After he hugged the absolute fuck out his daughter and his mom, he was not so polietly told to deep clean himself. Before he knew it Jake and Santana were filling his home with warmth and laughter and for the first time in a week, Puck felt whole again. Which is why he didn't say anything when everyone was still there the next morning using up his showers and eating his food. In fact, he couldn't stop smiling. He was in the kitchen with his mom, letting Santana and Jake occupy Maya outside while he talked to his mother. Just as he was going to start a legit conversation about all the bullshit he couldn't seem to sort through on his own, his baby mama's voice rang out in the house and then Maya and Jake were coming inside and- "I have a visitor?" He said to his mom like she'd know who it was. Confusion on his face he walked to the front door passing everyone's amused faces. When he opened the door, the last person he expected was standing in front of him. Dressed down, but looking good, unharmed, safe and a sense of relief he didn't know he was waiting for washed over him. "Eva? What're you doing here? You okay?" He was still just standing in his doorway.
EVA was..she honestly didn't even know what all she was feeling right now, but it was clear that everyone else seemed to be in on this forced visit, yet she didn't know how Puck would feel about it. And once he came to the front door, she inhaled a small breath. "I'm okay. I just.." She paused, unsure of what exactly she was supposed to say about why she was here. Luckily, she didn't have to. Groaning from behind Puck, Santana rolled her eyes before she shoved him out of the doorway and onto the porch. "Remember when you wouldn't listen to me during lockdown? She listened to me. You're welcome." She sassed before shutting the front door, and Eva was slightly amused at the fact that there was someone else who could boss him around, and she now knew exactly where Maya got it from. But now that they were alone, mostly, she knew she had to just start talking now or she wouldn't ever do it. "Right, well..I'd say I'm sorry for just showing up unannounced but she kinda demanded it after she told me she was Maya's mother and she thought that seeing with your own eyes that I was okay might be good for you." She explained nervously before she took a few small steps towards him. "I'm fine, and Morgan's fine. We were completely unharmed in everything, aside from being fucking irritated by everyone, but we're good. And I would hug you or whatever, but first — what the hell happened to your hand?"
PUCK let out a breath when she confirmed she was okay and he was just about to move them outside to the bench in front of the rose bushes, when he felt a hand on him, shoving him forward and the door shutting on them. The former Marine made a mental note to yell at the mother of his child later for meddling when he specifically told her to back off. Not that she'd listen, but it might make him feel better about being blindsided with Eva at his door. "Yeah, she's... somethign else. You didn't need to come just 'cause she told you to though. It's good if she doesn't get her way all the time." He smiled and as he was going to step forward to get to the bench she stepped closer so he stopped and just let her say what she needed to say. Oh, so her and Morgan had been together, that was good. Even better that they had been unharmed by the earthquake or the general fuckery of lockdown. Although, maybe he was the only one dumb enough to hurt themselves after an earthquake. Speaking of, he looked down at his hand, he had just redressed it after his shower this morning, mainly so no one had to see the wounds. "It's just a minor injury, I'm fine." He started walking toward the rose bushes to get out of earshot of the nosiest people on planet earth and probably any other planet. Gesturing at the bench he waited to sit until she did. "You said you and Morgan were good, does that mean y'all were together?" He asked hoping they had at least had each other if no one else the last week.
EVA shrugged at Puck's words. "She's persistent, but she made several good points. And all things considered, even if the earthquake wasn't as big of a deal as they made it out to be, I kinda wanted to see you too, just to be sure." Luckily they'd gotten the texts to go through days ago so she knew he'd been in one piece, she just needed to see it too. Luckily Santana had already mentioned that he was hurt, she just told Eva she'd have to ask him how it happened since she'd read his texts and knew they had both tried telling him not to do anything stupid or heroic, and he hadn't listened. Not surprising. Watching him walk over to the bench, she sighed at his gesture before she walked over and sat down. She let him ask about Morgan before shaking her head. "Not..exactly." She muttered. "My group's last move was to the school cafeteria, and Morgan, Jake, and Bree were all there. Oh, and your little friend Serena was there too." She stated with an eye roll. "I hate her, by the way, and I'm pretty sure she's scared of me now, as she fucking should be, but I do know that she for sure has feelings for Morgan. And I don't know how you feel about that, but..I was prepared to beat her ass if it came to that. And Morgan isn't exactly dumb or blind to the fact that she wants him, but I dunno, it kinda seems like he's leading her on since he's not putting an end to it. Which..before I go into the real reason why I'm here, I have to ask: do you have feelings for Kurt? Is that why you...you know?"
PUCK didn't really know how feel about Eva wanting to see him, it was a very different vibe then the one she was putting off toward him before. Maybe she was still dealing with the lockdown of it all and was just too tired to be mad right now. Either way, he figured he shouldn't ask questions and instead just roll with it. Getting comfortable as she gave him way more information than he was expecting, he put his arm around the back of the bench and when she mentioned Serena's name he couldn't help but look over in the direction of her house. While Jake has mentioned being with Eva, Morgan and Bree eventually, Puck hadn't asked a lot of questions so he wasn't sure about the timing of any of it. Not knowing what to respond to first he just looked at her for a second. No make up, hair was haphaardly put up, and she was wearing legging and comfortable looking shoes. Puck had never seen her like this, she looked soft and real and he just wanted to hug her. Instead he took in a breath and sat up. "Yeah, Jake mentioned y'all were together but I didn't know if you'd been together the whole time or not. Not really sure what to say to that but I mean I feel like I can't stop anybody from liking him, not really sure how I feel about it being Serena but I guess I'm not surprised. If he ain't stopping it then maybe he's into her too." Yeah, that didn't feel great to say but what could he do? They were broken up and again Puck was confused by Eva wanting to beat her ass or scare her, isn't she mad at him and done with all of it? Part of him just wanted to focus on why she was really here because he thought she just wanted to appease Santana by letting Puck see she was truly okay with his own two eyes. The other part of him, figured he owned her an answer to her question. "Nah, I didn't have feelings for him, I didn't really know him. Met him at that zodiac party and knew he was interested in me so I asked him out after I saw Morgan going on a date with Serena and when I came and saw you and you were going out on a date. It was dumb, I now that, but I just didn't wanna be the only one not seeing other people."
EVA should have expected Puck to just kinda go along with the Serena and Morgan thing, and it would have pissed her off if she wasn't already an emotional wreck. And for all she knew, Morgan was gonna handle that eventually, so she was trying to remember that it wasn't what was important right now. She only told Puck because unlike they'd done before, she was trying to keep all three of them on the same page. After all, she knew the implications of that not happening firsthand now, so it would be dumb to make the same mistake again. Listening to him answer her question, she nodded along, and she guessed it kinda made sense. "For the record, I wasn't going on a date like that. It was drinks with a friend." She stated, and then she exhaled a deep breath. "I never told you or Morgan this before, but I don't exactly do the feelings or relationship thing. I avoid it, honestly, so accepting how I felt about you two was hard. Really fucking hard, especially since I didn't know if the whole throuple thing was just sex for you two or if it was more than that. And I didn't even mean to tell Kurt, it just kinda...slipped, but then I was trying to work up the courage to tell you two while you guys were making a decision without me. A stupid decision that if you two had even told me about after you made it, I probably would've forced myself to come clean about the fact that I was ready to be all in, with both of you, and then none of the other shit would've happened." Shrugging, Eva could feel that same annoying feeling in the pit of her stomach, and if she could have stopped it, she would have. "That's why I was pissed about the date thing. I felt blindsided because both of you agreed to seeing other people but I didn't, and I didn't even find out until it was too late, and then I felt stupid for wanting to be with both of you when you clearly didn't feel the same way." She confessed as the tears started flowing a little too freely for her liking.
PUCK really just didn't know how to take any of this. Apparently he and Morgan decided to date other people with her, but he didn't know they were exclusive at any point. I mean, he thought they would be, that they were close to having another conversation about it, which is why he was thrown off by them going on dates. Although, apparently, Eva wasn't going on a date date even though she called it a date. And at the end of the day this entire situation is entirely his fault, he never should have said he was trying to be cool with the idea of Morgan and Eva dating other people. If he had just shut the fuck up for once in his life he wouldn't have hurt Eva or Morgan and they'd probably be fine. This was on him. It always had been, he just didn't want to see it. He shouldn't have said what he said to Morgan, he should have told them both how he felt. He should have told them he didn't want to date other people and he didn't want them to either. He should have communicated and because he didn't now they're broken and hurt and he can't blame anyone but himself. A sentiment he was about to share but then Eva was talking about and in the blink of an eye she was crying. Not that he didn't think she could cry, it just didn't seem like something she would do. Fuck, what am I suppose to do, what's the right thing to say? Do I hug her, do I say I'm sorry? It was definitely taking him too long to respond but he had already ruined everything once and he didn't trust himself not to ruin this. He was going to do or say the wrong thing. He always did and said the wrong thing. Fuck, fuck fuck! Do something, you idiot. He reached out a hand, but it didn't seem like a enough, she was going to think he didn't care. But a hug seemed... what if that was too much contact. For fuck sake, dude, say something! "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said to Morgan, I should have made sure we were all on the same page. I should have told you both how I felt. I hate that I hurt you, hate that I made you feel like I didn't have legit feelings for you. I hate that I ruined what we could've had and more than anything I hate that I can't undo what I did so you never had to hurt." That was a lot more than he meant to say and he still felt so uneasy because it didn't feel like he did it right. What if he just made it worse? He wanted to hug her but he didn't want her to feel trapped or anything, so instead he reached his hand up to her face and wiped at the tears on his cheeks with his thumb.
EVA really hadn't planned to keep crying any time she opened up, but it was impossible at this point. It was as if her body and her emotions were in sync so there wasn't one without the other, not when she was talking to the object(s) of her desire or whatever, so she wasn't even fighting it. She managed to get out most of what she needed to say at least, so there was that. And while Morgan had immediately folded and hugged her once she started crying, she had half expected Puck not to. He'd interpreted her being hurt and asking for space as her saying she'd completely given up and didn't want him or Morgan anymore, so she was well aware that he wouldn't know how to proceed now. And maybe she wasn't expecting much of anything right now. Having to do this back to back was taking a toll on her already. Yet once Puck finally found something to say, she just sighed and nodded, deciding to let him get it all out while she attempted to reel her tears and shit back in. Not that it was working much, but she was attempting anyways. Once he finally finished, the hand attempting to dry her tears made her smile, even if it were just a small one. "I didn't say all of that to put all the blame on you." She stated, since this wasn't the first time she'd felt like he'd assumed it was all on him. "We all should've spoken up, so...we all played a part in this." She shrugged as she tried wiping her tears away now. "But uh..I should tell you what I told Morgan, which is that I only asked for time because I was scared. Scared that I'd come clean about how I felt, and you two would still decide that y'all wanted to fuck other people — it wasn't me giving up or whatever, I just don't handle rejection, or being hurt well, obviously."
PUCK had never been so grateful to see a smile in his life, no matter how small. It was an indicator that he hadn't fucked this up, that even if this wasn't going past today, past this conversation, at least she didn't hate him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he didn't want her to share the blame, she didn't need to do that but before he could protest she was talking again and what she said had him completely forgetting who was at fault for what. Eva? Scared? Rejected? God, he was a fucking asshole, he had been so in his own head the past month, he hadn't even considered that what he did would make her feel rejected. Hurt, sure, but he has felt rejected by her and Morgan for the last couple of weeks and the idea that he's part of the reason she feels like that now, fuck, does Morgan feel like that? This time he didn't have time to talk himself out of it, he just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. It was a little awkward since they were sitting on a bench with their knees in the way. But he cradled the back of her head with one hand and rubbed his other hand on her back. "I'm so sorry. I've been in my own head and I fucked up." Like he always did when he got like that. "I never wanted to hurt you. Never." He said and he readjusted his head so her could place a soft kiss against her temple. He pulled away, just to her could look at her again, both of his hands cradling her face for a moment. "I know it don't help any but I found out pretty quick I didn't wanna be with anybody but you and Morgan after that date I went on."
EVA wouldn't have dared to ever feel rejected before, but that was yet another foreign emotion she now felt thanks to Morgan and Puck. Normally, she would've fucked right off the second things started getting serious, or if she were in a position to feel like someone else could take her spot, but both men had her catching feelings way too easily and too swiftly for her to have just cut them off cold turkey when shit hit the fan. And that was probably why she kept crying when she tried to open up about her feelings now. Letting Puck pull her in for a hug, she wrapped her arms around him tightly, needing to just enjoy being in his embrace for a bit, like she'd done with Morgan. Honestly, it was one of the things she'd missed about them both, just how good it felt being in their arms like this, just usually when she wasn't crying. And much like with the cowboy, it was Puck's turn to reassure that he knew he'd fucked up. Eva wanted to believe them, she truly did, but it was still going to take time. Letting him pull away to cup her face, she bit her lip at his confessions. "Morgan kinda said the same thing.." She admitted. "I want to believe you both, but...I don't know, maybe I need you both to prove it."
PUCK wanted nothing more than to be able to prove to her that he wanted her, but how could he do that right now when took him, what, three days to fuck somebody else during lockdown. The truth was, he didn't believe he deserved Eva or Morgan, but more than that he didn't think he deserved love at all, that meant his mom, his brother, Santana and even his daughter, all felt like people he didn't deserve and everyday he fought his nature to not fuck things up with them. Usually, he manage, but lately, after Gabe, like always, he was just mentally fucked and then the start of Halloween was always a mine field of if he was going to have a fucking episode because someone decided to scare him, and then the lockdown and he was alone too long. Even though there were people they weren't his people, his safety nets and by the time Santana appeared it was too late. Puck knew he wasn't okay, but he didn't know it was as bad as it is. God, he wished he could have just one last good day with her, one more day before he has to accept he can't be what she needs right now. But it was too late. "I want more than anything to be able to prove it to you. I need you to know that. But I don't know how when I don't think I deserve you or Morgan. I'm not- I don't think I'm good enough for either one of you." He looked her in the eyes, her beautiful brown eyes and he hoped she could see and feel his earnestness, his vulnerability. "I knew I was fucked up, but I don't think- I think I've been underestimating just how bad it's gotten. I wanna be with you and Morgan so fucking bad, baby, I swear on my child's life, but imma just keep fucking up because I don't think I deserve it and I don't wanna hurt y'all like that again." It took everything in him not to let the tears he could feel welling up, fall.
EVA didn't quite understand why Puck always seemed to resort to the worst in almost any given situation, but she was also starting to get used to it after their run in with Gabe, since it all made sense then. The man had belittled him and made it clear that he'd been treating his son like that for his entire life, and she was more than happy to try and shift his thinking, but as soon as he started explaining himself, she sighed. Maybe she should have saw this coming right now but she hadn't, and now she didn't fully know how to fix this. Not by herself, anyways. If Morgan had been here, he would've found a way to probably not say much but still say exactly what it took to at least make Puck smile. She was already deep in her own emotions so what could she really do to make this better? Wiping at her own eyes, Eva exhaled a small breath. "We're not perfect, Noah." She pointed out. "All of us have fucked up before, and there's no guarantee that we won't do it again. Doesn't mean you're not good enough for us, or vice versa. I told you when I asked for some time to think that you and Morgan needed to think about what you both wanted too, and you can both say you want this, but...he clearly likes Serena, and you're probably still going out with people too. If we aren't ready to just turn everyone else down, then how the hell can any of us say that we know without a doubt that we want this?"
PUCK knew she was right, none of them were perfect and honestly, he didn't think of them as perfect. Just as better than him. But he pretty much thought everyone was better than him, that was the issue. For a dude known for being full of himself, he really didn't like the person he was and never really got a chance to figure out how to appreciate himself genuinely. Damn, is that what it means to compensate for a shortcoming? Wait, Morgan had feelings for Serena? That was, that hurt, maybe that's why he wanted time and space. Maybe that's why he gave up so quick. There was something going on with Serena, and Puck would probably process that later at the worst possible time, but for now he just was too tired to be more than hurt. It seemed like Eva was right, there was unresolved shit with them all outside of each other that they needed to sort out. There was one thing she was wrong about though, Puck knew he wanted them, even through the hurt and the self loathing, he knew he wanted to be with them, that he wanted them to all be together and he didn't need time to figure that out or be confident in that. But he did need time, so instead of saying any of that, all he could do was nod in response to her question, eyes a little sad but he understood, finally he understood. Feeling like they were both exhausted and spent, he just took her hands in his and gave the back of her hands a little kiss before looking at her. "Thank you for coming here, for letting me see you, for telling me all that, for being honest. I'm really glad you weren't hurt in that earthquake or in the lockdown." He hugged her again and in his head, said what he just couldn't say to her in that moment; I missed you, baby.
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puckhq · 1 month ago
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it's all in the things you didn't say || PUCKEVA
tagging: Eva Anderson ( @anderseva ) & Noah Puckerman
date & time: October 19, 2024 in late morning, early afternoon
location: Puck's house, in the front yard bu the rose bushes
warnings: none!
summary: This conversation has been a long time coming, but Puck still wasn't prepared and Eva probably wasn't expecting all of that either.
word count: 4,560
EVA had been so fucking relieved to get home, shower, DoorDash herself a 5-star fucking meal that she scarfed down in minutes, and then just sleep. She'd slept in the next morning as well, and had been prepared to just stay wrapped up in bed all day until she started getting texts from Santana Lopez. She knew her, to an extent, and the woman gave her a brief yet detailed rundown of her connection to Puck and what she thought of the throuple before urging (or politely demanding) that she come over and at least let Puck see that she was okay post-lockdown bullshit. She only spent half an hour debating it before she got up, tossed on a pair of leggings, a tank top, a pair of sneakers, and tossing her messy hair into an even messier bun. In no mood to worry about make up, she grabbed her purse and keys and headed to her car. This was stupid, she knew that much, but mostly because Puck's baby mama had planned it and he had no idea she was even coming over. But after opening up to Morgan, it was only fair that she do the same for Puck, so she sucked it up and drove over to his house anyways. As soon as she pulled into the driveway, she saw Santana get up from the porch and head inside as she parked. "Puckerman!" Santana yelled out once she stepped inside, and she waved off Jake and Maya giggling over on the couch. "You have a visitor outside, pendejo." The Latina stated smugly before she motioned for her kid and her uncle to go play video games or something as she noticed Eva climbing out of her car.
PUCK had damn near ran all the way home after they finally released them from lockdown. Six fucking days. Dude was starving, tired, exhausted and in desperate need of a shower. But more than anything he wanted to see his kid. Thankfully his truck was wear he'd parked it and despite sitting around for almost a week, it didn't seem to have a scratch on it. After he hugged the absolute fuck out his daughter and his mom, he was not so polietly told to deep clean himself. Before he knew it Jake and Santana were filling his home with warmth and laughter and for the first time in a week, Puck felt whole again. Which is why he didn't say anything when everyone was still there the next morning using up his showers and eating his food. In fact, he couldn't stop smiling. He was in the kitchen with his mom, letting Santana and Jake occupy Maya outside while he talked to his mother. Just as he was going to start a legit conversation about all the bullshit he couldn't seem to sort through on his own, his baby mama's voice rang out in the house and then Maya and Jake were coming inside and- "I have a visitor?" He said to his mom like she'd know who it was. Confusion on his face he walked to the front door passing everyone's amused faces. When he opened the door, the last person he expected was standing in front of him. Dressed down, but looking good, unharmed, safe and a sense of relief he didn't know he was waiting for washed over him. "Eva? What're you doing here? You okay?" He was still just standing in his doorway.
EVA was..she honestly didn't even know what all she was feeling right now, but it was clear that everyone else seemed to be in on this forced visit, yet she didn't know how Puck would feel about it. And once he came to the front door, she inhaled a small breath. "I'm okay. I just.." She paused, unsure of what exactly she was supposed to say about why she was here. Luckily, she didn't have to. Groaning from behind Puck, Santana rolled her eyes before she shoved him out of the doorway and onto the porch. "Remember when you wouldn't listen to me during lockdown? She listened to me. You're welcome." She sassed before shutting the front door, and Eva was slightly amused at the fact that there was someone else who could boss him around, and she now knew exactly where Maya got it from. But now that they were alone, mostly, she knew she had to just start talking now or she wouldn't ever do it. "Right, well..I'd say I'm sorry for just showing up unannounced but she kinda demanded it after she told me she was Maya's mother and she thought that seeing with your own eyes that I was okay might be good for you." She explained nervously before she took a few small steps towards him. "I'm fine, and Morgan's fine. We were completely unharmed in everything, aside from being fucking irritated by everyone, but we're good. And I would hug you or whatever, but first — what the hell happened to your hand?"
PUCK let out a breath when she confirmed she was okay and he was just about to move them outside to the bench in front of the rose bushes, when he felt a hand on him, shoving him forward and the door shutting on them. The former Marine made a mental note to yell at the mother of his child later for meddling when he specifically told her to back off. Not that she'd listen, but it might make him feel better about being blindsided with Eva at his door. "Yeah, she's... somethign else. You didn't need to come just 'cause she told you to though. It's good if she doesn't get her way all the time." He smiled and as he was going to step forward to get to the bench she stepped closer so he stopped and just let her say what she needed to say. Oh, so her and Morgan had been together, that was good. Even better that they had been unharmed by the earthquake or the general fuckery of lockdown. Although, maybe he was the only one dumb enough to hurt themselves after an earthquake. Speaking of, he looked down at his hand, he had just redressed it after his shower this morning, mainly so no one had to see the wounds. "It's just a minor injury, I'm fine." He started walking toward the rose bushes to get out of earshot of the nosiest people on planet earth and probably any other planet. Gesturing at the bench he waited to sit until she did. "You said you and Morgan were good, does that mean y'all were together?" He asked hoping they had at least had each other if no one else the last week.
EVA shrugged at Puck's words. "She's persistent, but she made several good points. And all things considered, even if the earthquake wasn't as big of a deal as they made it out to be, I kinda wanted to see you too, just to be sure." Luckily they'd gotten the texts to go through days ago so she knew he'd been in one piece, she just needed to see it too. Luckily Santana had already mentioned that he was hurt, she just told Eva she'd have to ask him how it happened since she'd read his texts and knew they had both tried telling him not to do anything stupid or heroic, and he hadn't listened. Not surprising. Watching him walk over to the bench, she sighed at his gesture before she walked over and sat down. She let him ask about Morgan before shaking her head. "Not..exactly." She muttered. "My group's last move was to the school cafeteria, and Morgan, Jake, and Bree were all there. Oh, and your little friend Serena was there too." She stated with an eye roll. "I hate her, by the way, and I'm pretty sure she's scared of me now, as she fucking should be, but I do know that she for sure has feelings for Morgan. And I don't know how you feel about that, but..I was prepared to beat her ass if it came to that. And Morgan isn't exactly dumb or blind to the fact that she wants him, but I dunno, it kinda seems like he's leading her on since he's not putting an end to it. Which..before I go into the real reason why I'm here, I have to ask: do you have feelings for Kurt? Is that why you...you know?"
PUCK didn't really know how feel about Eva wanting to see him, it was a very different vibe then the one she was putting off toward him before. Maybe she was still dealing with the lockdown of it all and was just too tired to be mad right now. Either way, he figured he shouldn't ask questions and instead just roll with it. Getting comfortable as she gave him way more information than he was expecting, he put his arm around the back of the bench and when she mentioned Serena's name he couldn't help but look over in the direction of her house. While Jake has mentioned being with Eva, Morgan and Bree eventually, Puck hadn't asked a lot of questions so he wasn't sure about the timing of any of it. Not knowing what to respond to first he just looked at her for a second. No make up, hair was haphaardly put up, and she was wearing legging and comfortable looking shoes. Puck had never seen her like this, she looked soft and real and he just wanted to hug her. Instead he took in a breath and sat up. "Yeah, Jake mentioned y'all were together but I didn't know if you'd been together the whole time or not. Not really sure what to say to that but I mean I feel like I can't stop anybody from liking him, not really sure how I feel about it being Serena but I guess I'm not surprised. If he ain't stopping it then maybe he's into her too." Yeah, that didn't feel great to say but what could he do? They were broken up and again Puck was confused by Eva wanting to beat her ass or scare her, isn't she mad at him and done with all of it? Part of him just wanted to focus on why she was really here because he thought she just wanted to appease Santana by letting Puck see she was truly okay with his own two eyes. The other part of him, figured he owned her an answer to her question. "Nah, I didn't have feelings for him, I didn't really know him. Met him at that zodiac party and knew he was interested in me so I asked him out after I saw Morgan going on a date with Serena and when I came and saw you and you were going out on a date. It was dumb, I now that, but I just didn't wanna be the only one not seeing other people."
EVA should have expected Puck to just kinda go along with the Serena and Morgan thing, and it would have pissed her off if she wasn't already an emotional wreck. And for all she knew, Morgan was gonna handle that eventually, so she was trying to remember that it wasn't what was important right now. She only told Puck because unlike they'd done before, she was trying to keep all three of them on the same page. After all, she knew the implications of that not happening firsthand now, so it would be dumb to make the same mistake again. Listening to him answer her question, she nodded along, and she guessed it kinda made sense. "For the record, I wasn't going on a date like that. It was drinks with a friend." She stated, and then she exhaled a deep breath. "I never told you or Morgan this before, but I don't exactly do the feelings or relationship thing. I avoid it, honestly, so accepting how I felt about you two was hard. Really fucking hard, especially since I didn't know if the whole throuple thing was just sex for you two or if it was more than that. And I didn't even mean to tell Kurt, it just kinda...slipped, but then I was trying to work up the courage to tell you two while you guys were making a decision without me. A stupid decision that if you two had even told me about after you made it, I probably would've forced myself to come clean about the fact that I was ready to be all in, with both of you, and then none of the other shit would've happened." Shrugging, Eva could feel that same annoying feeling in the pit of her stomach, and if she could have stopped it, she would have. "That's why I was pissed about the date thing. I felt blindsided because both of you agreed to seeing other people but I didn't, and I didn't even find out until it was too late, and then I felt stupid for wanting to be with both of you when you clearly didn't feel the same way." She confessed as the tears started flowing a little too freely for her liking.
PUCK really just didn't know how to take any of this. Apparently he and Morgan decided to date other people with her, but he didn't know they were exclusive at any point. I mean, he thought they would be, that they were close to having another conversation about it, which is why he was thrown off by them going on dates. Although, apparently, Eva wasn't going on a date date even though she called it a date. And at the end of the day this entire situation is entirely his fault, he never should have said he was trying to be cool with the idea of Morgan and Eva dating other people. If he had just shut the fuck up for once in his life he wouldn't have hurt Eva or Morgan and they'd probably be fine. This was on him. It always had been, he just didn't want to see it. He shouldn't have said what he said to Morgan, he should have told them both how he felt. He should have told them he didn't want to date other people and he didn't want them to either. He should have communicated and because he didn't now they're broken and hurt and he can't blame anyone but himself. A sentiment he was about to share but then Eva was talking about and in the blink of an eye she was crying. Not that he didn't think she could cry, it just didn't seem like something she would do. Fuck, what am I suppose to do, what's the right thing to say? Do I hug her, do I say I'm sorry? It was definitely taking him too long to respond but he had already ruined everything once and he didn't trust himself not to ruin this. He was going to do or say the wrong thing. He always did and said the wrong thing. Fuck, fuck fuck! Do something, you idiot. He reached out a hand, but it didn't seem like a enough, she was going to think he didn't care. But a hug seemed... what if that was too much contact. For fuck sake, dude, say something! "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said to Morgan, I should have made sure we were all on the same page. I should have told you both how I felt. I hate that I hurt you, hate that I made you feel like I didn't have legit feelings for you. I hate that I ruined what we could've had and more than anything I hate that I can't undo what I did so you never had to hurt." That was a lot more than he meant to say and he still felt so uneasy because it didn't feel like he did it right. What if he just made it worse? He wanted to hug her but he didn't want her to feel trapped or anything, so instead he reached his hand up to her face and wiped at the tears on his cheeks with his thumb.
EVA really hadn't planned to keep crying any time she opened up, but it was impossible at this point. It was as if her body and her emotions were in sync so there wasn't one without the other, not when she was talking to the object(s) of her desire or whatever, so she wasn't even fighting it. She managed to get out most of what she needed to say at least, so there was that. And while Morgan had immediately folded and hugged her once she started crying, she had half expected Puck not to. He'd interpreted her being hurt and asking for space as her saying she'd completely given up and didn't want him or Morgan anymore, so she was well aware that he wouldn't know how to proceed now. And maybe she wasn't expecting much of anything right now. Having to do this back to back was taking a toll on her already. Yet once Puck finally found something to say, she just sighed and nodded, deciding to let him get it all out while she attempted to reel her tears and shit back in. Not that it was working much, but she was attempting anyways. Once he finally finished, the hand attempting to dry her tears made her smile, even if it were just a small one. "I didn't say all of that to put all the blame on you." She stated, since this wasn't the first time she'd felt like he'd assumed it was all on him. "We all should've spoken up, so...we all played a part in this." She shrugged as she tried wiping her tears away now. "But uh..I should tell you what I told Morgan, which is that I only asked for time because I was scared. Scared that I'd come clean about how I felt, and you two would still decide that y'all wanted to fuck other people — it wasn't me giving up or whatever, I just don't handle rejection, or being hurt well, obviously."
PUCK had never been so grateful to see a smile in his life, no matter how small. It was an indicator that he hadn't fucked this up, that even if this wasn't going past today, past this conversation, at least she didn't hate him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he didn't want her to share the blame, she didn't need to do that but before he could protest she was talking again and what she said had him completely forgetting who was at fault for what. Eva? Scared? Rejected? God, he was a fucking asshole, he had been so in his own head the past month, he hadn't even considered that what he did would make her feel rejected. Hurt, sure, but he has felt rejected by her and Morgan for the last couple of weeks and the idea that he's part of the reason she feels like that now, fuck, does Morgan feel like that? This time he didn't have time to talk himself out of it, he just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. It was a little awkward since they were sitting on a bench with their knees in the way. But he cradled the back of her head with one hand and rubbed his other hand on her back. "I'm so sorry. I've been in my own head and I fucked up." Like he always did when he got like that. "I never wanted to hurt you. Never." He said and he readjusted his head so her could place a soft kiss against her temple. He pulled away, just to her could look at her again, both of his hands cradling her face for a moment. "I know it don't help any but I found out pretty quick I didn't wanna be with anybody but you and Morgan after that date I went on."
EVA wouldn't have dared to ever feel rejected before, but that was yet another foreign emotion she now felt thanks to Morgan and Puck. Normally, she would've fucked right off the second things started getting serious, or if she were in a position to feel like someone else could take her spot, but both men had her catching feelings way too easily and too swiftly for her to have just cut them off cold turkey when shit hit the fan. And that was probably why she kept crying when she tried to open up about her feelings now. Letting Puck pull her in for a hug, she wrapped her arms around him tightly, needing to just enjoy being in his embrace for a bit, like she'd done with Morgan. Honestly, it was one of the things she'd missed about them both, just how good it felt being in their arms like this, just usually when she wasn't crying. And much like with the cowboy, it was Puck's turn to reassure that he knew he'd fucked up. Eva wanted to believe them, she truly did, but it was still going to take time. Letting him pull away to cup her face, she bit her lip at his confessions. "Morgan kinda said the same thing.." She admitted. "I want to believe you both, but...I don't know, maybe I need you both to prove it."
PUCK wanted nothing more than to be able to prove to her that he wanted her, but how could he do that right now when took him, what, three days to fuck somebody else during lockdown. The truth was, he didn't believe he deserved Eva or Morgan, but more than that he didn't think he deserved love at all, that meant his mom, his brother, Santana and even his daughter, all felt like people he didn't deserve and everyday he fought his nature to not fuck things up with them. Usually, he manage, but lately, after Gabe, like always, he was just mentally fucked and then the start of Halloween was always a mine field of if he was going to have a fucking episode because someone decided to scare him, and then the lockdown and he was alone too long. Even though there were people they weren't his people, his safety nets and by the time Santana appeared it was too late. Puck knew he wasn't okay, but he didn't know it was as bad as it is. God, he wished he could have just one last good day with her, one more day before he has to accept he can't be what she needs right now. But it was too late. "I want more than anything to be able to prove it to you. I need you to know that. But I don't know how when I don't think I deserve you or Morgan. I'm not- I don't think I'm good enough for either one of you." He looked her in the eyes, her beautiful brown eyes and he hoped she could see and feel his earnestness, his vulnerability. "I knew I was fucked up, but I don't think- I think I've been underestimating just how bad it's gotten. I wanna be with you and Morgan so fucking bad, baby, I swear on my child's life, but imma just keep fucking up because I don't think I deserve it and I don't wanna hurt y'all like that again." It took everything in him not to let the tears he could feel welling up, fall.
EVA didn't quite understand why Puck always seemed to resort to the worst in almost any given situation, but she was also starting to get used to it after their run in with Gabe, since it all made sense then. The man had belittled him and made it clear that he'd been treating his son like that for his entire life, and she was more than happy to try and shift his thinking, but as soon as he started explaining himself, she sighed. Maybe she should have saw this coming right now but she hadn't, and now she didn't fully know how to fix this. Not by herself, anyways. If Morgan had been here, he would've found a way to probably not say much but still say exactly what it took to at least make Puck smile. She was already deep in her own emotions so what could she really do to make this better? Wiping at her own eyes, Eva exhaled a small breath. "We're not perfect, Noah." She pointed out. "All of us have fucked up before, and there's no guarantee that we won't do it again. Doesn't mean you're not good enough for us, or vice versa. I told you when I asked for some time to think that you and Morgan needed to think about what you both wanted too, and you can both say you want this, but...he clearly likes Serena, and you're probably still going out with people too. If we aren't ready to just turn everyone else down, then how the hell can any of us say that we know without a doubt that we want this?"
PUCK knew she was right, none of them were perfect and honestly, he didn't think of them as perfect. Just as better than him. But he pretty much thought everyone was better than him, that was the issue. For a dude known for being full of himself, he really didn't like the person he was and never really got a chance to figure out how to appreciate himself genuinely. Damn, is that what it means to compensate for a shortcoming? Wait, Morgan had feelings for Serena? That was, that hurt, maybe that's why he wanted time and space. Maybe that's why he gave up so quick. There was something going on with Serena, and Puck would probably process that later at the worst possible time, but for now he just was too tired to be more than hurt. It seemed like Eva was right, there was unresolved shit with them all outside of each other that they needed to sort out. There was one thing she was wrong about though, Puck knew he wanted them, even through the hurt and the self loathing, he knew he wanted to be with them, that he wanted them to all be together and he didn't need time to figure that out or be confident in that. But he did need time, so instead of saying any of that, all he could do was nod in response to her question, eyes a little sad but he understood, finally he understood. Feeling like they were both exhausted and spent, he just took her hands in his and gave the back of her hands a little kiss before looking at her. "Thank you for coming here, for letting me see you, for telling me all that, for being honest. I'm really glad you weren't hurt in that earthquake or in the lockdown." He hugged her again and in his head, said what he just couldn't say to her in that moment; I missed you, baby.
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8.3.24 Saturday
Still,have windblow...
Early runny nose and still having slight headache due to stress...
I feel an early betrayal... I wasn't able to go live in Tagged coz I was really angry yesterday and I feel tired... I don't wanna go to bicol, the energy is somehow inviting me but no thank you...
I feel frustrated everyday... I still wanna get Garret and my cousin-white.... I find Ash pretty the foreign Ash...
I can't get success, I feel frustrated... I sense an early betrayal since 2007...
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I sense an early betrayal and I feel jealous coz it's been 17 years and I'm tired and I wanna have my own success... Everything will be flat as the ground but until when???
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7:28 am
Hearing this early in the morning...
At 50's hahah
I really wanna travel and get some success... Trap for 17 years just for nothing???
I graduated from De La Salle University.... I feel bitter! I want Garret to support me! I feel boring as well... I feel out of place!
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7:35 am
I feel out of place here for 17 years... They just copy and smash me but didn't want to tell me a single thing...
They just took the maturity that I got since 2013, because of the way I look that I will never stop being cute, it doesn't mean I don't have maturity...
Their main plan to make me super fat and faded and appear ugly in the society... That was and still their main plan... Whoever group is that here on people and here in Cavite.
I need money! Can I just ask for money for free???
Can I get a bf angels? Can someone back me up on money? Can I do "nose perfection" with Garret gang? Or whatever???
Can I ask money for free??? Can I get some botox in Los Angeles? Can I go there with Garret?
10:46 am
Still,have windblow...
I feel heavy, I feel that I need to stretch... I have slight headache... I feel heavy,strange... I feel lazy probably coz my menstruation just finished last night... I had a very heavy menstruation from the past 3 days...
My first cup of coffee today,believe it or not... I woke-up early coz we are all sleeping in the living room. If I have new angels here, can you do backtrack of my journal here... To give a recap we still have our own rooms here but we need to clean it all...
Even the old spare room, probably will go to Uncle Jun but I need to help them on craft like putting a wall paper, for art design.
I have to use the old room of my brother next to me....So, I also need some wall paper as well...
I hope I can have a yaya again on uniform... I don't know... I also wanna get a bf like Garret for example that I wanna have... I hope I can present the living room nicely... So, we need to use our old rooms...
Home Improvement...
11:20 am
Sometimes if you are so tired...You wanna exit nicely... Hoping for a nice exit in the world...
It's been 17 years they just took away everything from me... They just keep on saying, have hopes and hold on... Hold on to what? Sometimes we need to end something...
17 years keeping a thing from me it is too much. Stoping me to see the world it is unfair....
I feel hurt since 2007? Everyone is fake... Everyone has their own personal agenda against us here or me or on someone but specially on me here...
Fake old friends? Fake new people? Fake people on TV? Fake people off the screen? Some fake relatives???
11:38 am
This Maya called me again and again, it is stressful in my part they keep on telling me that I have a personal loan on them. 100% I didn't even apply a personal loan on Maya. Other agent said it was tampered phone number, someone used my number to loan that I need to call their customer service for this... It is a waste of time in my part and not my responsibility anymore..
11:43 am
I feel bullshit that I wish to be a dinosaur even the good people to me....I need a life not like this... I have no self-fufillment....I wanna have some progress and be normal but on the top!
I wanna travel... I wanna buy Starbucks everyday... I wanna live with purpose and the beauty that I deserve it.
12:11 noon.
Missing bowl again and again... It will never stop...
It will never be successful if there is a traitor inside..
The black kitchen scissor is missing. Lecheng kaplastikan magkakapatid!( milking plastics brotherhood & sisterhood ) Mga plastics! ( They are plastics!)...( leche means milk )....
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Someone put it inside the rice cooker...
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The black kitchen scissor is still missing...
12:18 noon
Binu-budoling kami... Even me, my headache is like a budol thing but I'm stronger... Headache!
1:02 pm
I feel bitterish... Uncle Jun brought a mineral water here on 3 sets...I hope there is no bad meaning of it... He said he got it from the wake of someone. I asked for sandwich he said everything was eaten already. Hahah... Mineral water from the funeral party? Weird but not bad!
I still wanna go back and get my original stuff... I really wanna travel and gain friends on the upper and get a Ken bf ( who looks like a Barbie ) Barbie's bf... I really wanna get my cute stuff back and I wanna progress as an individual. I feel so hopeless and frustrated.
Another thing, the water container that I bought from Savemore. It is weird when Kuya Erning already fiĺled it with water, it is heavier than the other water container. It is really weird!
I still feel weirdly heavy... Still, not washing John's floormats... One day rest more and later I plan to go live in Tagged...
4:12 pm
Still,have windblow...
I still have headache,it started when that fucking fake "Credit Peso" texted me... Those fake people... And budol thing perhaps ( curse of plastics people ).
I feel jealous on men who are having x-factor... I have complex on that... But case by case...
It is a weird headache.... I feel a negative energy. I really wanna leave Cavite. I feel bitter here in Cavite, they just wanted to steal everything from me and they did...
5:03 pm
Still,have windblow...
I feel ugly,fat and old for nothing... I feel so frustrated, super frustrated... I wanted to be famous on one point. I wanna feel that fame and money that I can buy Starbucks everyday and able to buy my cute stuff...
I feel envious on things... I will be 47 this October and hoping for a funeral party. I wanted to have a bf coz I feel ugly and I want someone who is "barbie looking" or if I can still go back to being super spoiled I wanna hire a bf who can just be with me at all times but faitfully my servant!
I wanna have a car... I wish I can be spoiled again... If I can just talk to Doaremon I will ask him to open a door where we can have our business and my added "Pet Store"... I can go to "white bird" and hire a bf that I want, someone like a Barbie and someone will never leave my side coz he is my faithful servant!
6:19 pm
I'm super self-pitying... They just want me to be ugly and fat... I can't even go in as pretty girl... I feel bitter... I need money and I want stuff....I wanna join dog show... All my dreams are stolen by wicked people...
7:08 pm
I wanna leave Cavite if these things are just like this... I don't want to be a supporter of anyone here... I don't want to lift up anyone these days but myself. I can't get progress for 17 years too much of killing me without a fair fight!
7:10 pm
I wanna gain new chosen friends that I want... I feel out of place as always since 2007... I don't fit in and that hurts me most!
They just want me to be ugly,fat and old... I wanna get a bf in "white bird"! I want a group of sexy, barbie looking but I wanna be spoiled again.... If I can't have Garret... There is only one girl there,that Racheal that I should respect... I wanna be the next girl on that gang. I feel out of place here... Even my cousin-white I hate him so much for not helping me to have my x-factor back! I don't wish him happines for my cousin-white. I just feel jealous!
7:45 pm
Still,have windblow...
The face of Garret is really Barbie....He is Ken-Kind...
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I want Ken... Barbie's bf...
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I will always love Garret...
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Yeah! It is you that I want...
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I love you Garret!
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8:30 pm
Not my ideal life here... I need some personal growth and future somewhere... I need to have money and my vanities and my future career or self-fulfillment...
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sibillascribbles08 · 7 months ago
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I'm sorry the unpopular opinions questions are too good so I'm just going to say ace attorney
Oh god
❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?
Franziska von Karma, easy answer, I don't really hate Franmaya or anything but so many people do not write her properly in that dynamic
🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?
I don't know a ton of AA theories tbhhhh (I don't browse the fandom a lot)
💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?
Franmaya, again, but it's mostly just cause of how it's usually written. (In some cases I've seen it handled well)
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
I have nothing to say in regards to Edgeworth so second fav-- Apollo would not be the one to fall in love first are you kidding me absolutely not that boy is not the one pining he's far too focused on some other bullshit.
💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?
Look. Edgeworth is not that sexy. He's a great person and I love him dearly but he is NOT that attractive his uncle (?) is hotter I'm sorry.
💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?
Plum Kitake is the hottest character in the entire series bar none that woman is incredible oh my god.
🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?
Thinking like Larry Butz mainly? Like yeah he does some stupid shit and also flirted with Maya that one time but he's?? generally a good guy? Doing his best.
🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?
Phoenix alskjdfalskdjf my man was manipulating the HELL out of Apollo in his game and also still hasn't told Apollo he and Trucy are half siblings like, this guy talks about how important the truth is and is sitting here withholding information like a mother fucker
💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?
Turnabout Big Top is not as bad as everyone says it is.
💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?
Phoenix. Deadass let some of the other defense attorneys have some character development. I'm tired.
💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?
Hm ! I don't have a ton of AA ships but I did think about Trucy and Vera one day being a thing and it was v cute in my mind (after Vera takes some time to recover and branch out obvs)
📖: If you had to remove one book from the series, which would you choose?
I haven't heard good things about AA6
🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?
See this is tough because we all know every character in AA is queer except Straight Larry, but I will say Edgeworth is not as gay as people like to say asldjfk
💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?
Ahhh of a major character... ngl it would be funny if phoenix died but then just possesses maya and keeps on doing lawyer stuff, wild plotline
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hourglass-dreams · 2 years ago
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Madrigals in the Morning☀️
Alma didn't used to be a morning person at all. She was the kind of person to stay in bed until noon. But when the Encanto formed and everything happened, she had to become a morning person. Some nights she wouldn't even sleep but even when she was exhausted, she had to be up taking care of the triplets and helping the community.
Julieta usually wakes up in a fairly good mood, and early too. She secretly doesn't really enjoy cooking in the morning but she does it anyway.
Do not even look at Pepa in the morning until she's had her coffee. Yes shes one of those people that HAVE to have caffeine in the morning 😅 she hates waking up early and the only people she's nice to in the mornings are Félix and her kids and to an extent, Isabela.
Bruno has lots of trouble sleeping so when he does sleep, waking up is torturous to him because he often has a headache >< and he can just be cranky as hell so if he doesn't have to interact with anyone, he won't. 😅
Similar to Pepa, the only person Isabela is nice to in the mornings is her girlfriend (for me it's Maya ^^) or Dolores to an extent. She's also just really cranky and not up to anyone's bullshit 😅
Dolores is a lot like Julieta in that she wakes up in a good mood 95% of the time. She enjoys waking up early because it's much quieter.
Luisa isn't a morning person but she trained herself to become one over the years. She will work her ass off from sunrise to sunset unnecessarily. Her sisters are helping her with sleeping in more because she's often so tired.
Camilo is honestly so neutral. He wakes up tired as fuck but you would never know because of his high energy and readiness to mess with people 😅
Mirabel is the person that wakes up early as hell, ready to take on the world. No one understands how she does it, neither do I. She's in a good mood, talking to everyone, and energetic. LIKE HOW?
Antonio is the kind of five year old you have to drag out of bed, other than that, like Camilo, he's pretty neutral.
Félix will sometimes wake up in a cranky mood but hides it well, he has the coffee thing in common with Pepa though ☕.
Agustín usually wakes up early alongside Julieta or a few minutes after. He's pretty mellow, you know, besides him falling while trying to get crusties out of his eyes.
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fakeosirian · 2 years ago
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To Thine Own Turnabout Be True
Read here on ao3!
short version: narumitsu slow burn murder-on-a-train casefic with Shakespearean flavor! (as in, there is a shakespeare troupe involved. but also drama.) the high-highs of wacky hijinks and the low-lows of Everyone's Worst Nightmares Coming True!
ships: narumitsu primarily, franmaya in later chapters, stage-setting for klapollo
chapters: 4/18
words: 26k (so far!)
summary on ao3:
Even in the 2020s, rumors of some sort of romantic entanglement between Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth circle every now and again. A passing curiosity, in limbo between never having enough evidence to prove it, nor having enough to dismiss the idea for good. There's a reason for that — they did, in fact, date. Twice. Coincidentally, they've also broken up twice.
And that's bullshit, if you ask Maya Fey. Round and around the bend again, the two of them would continue their will-they-won't-they endlessly, ignorant to the exasperation of those around them as they happily dance around each other forever if left to their own devices. They've been living a farce, a tragedy disguising itself as a comedy, and she's tired of idly reading off her lines: she's going to direct the shit out of this play to end it once and for all.
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dessarious · 4 years ago
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Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt85
Inspired by @ozmav Maribat AU
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Marinette waited patiently for her mother to finish yelling at her. Right or wrong there was absolutely no point in arguing back and she did her best to keep her expression neutral rather than bored. She had a feeling that this outburst wasn’t just about what she’d said either. Her parents were having to adjust to so much all at once. Finding out she’s Ladybug and the Guardian, her paralysis, and now the living situation issue. It would be a lot for anyone and she should have thought about that before being so flippant. It wasn’t her mother’s fault that Marinette had completely upended their reality.
“Do you have anything to say to me?” Marinette was brought back to the present by her Maman’s stern tone and hazarded to look at her. Her annoyance was written all over her face but Marinette could see the strain underneath was well. She’d caused that and weight of the guilt settled in her stomach.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been disrespectful.” That wasn’t at all what she was sorry about but it’s what Sabine wanted to hear so it was the least she could do.
“As well you should be. And who’s going to be taking care of you while you stay in Paris Damian?” Marinette saw Damian’s posture go ridged out of the corner of her eye. It was hard to tell if he was reacting to Sabine’s tone or just offended that she thought he needed to be looked after. Luckily Tim spoke up before he could set her mother off again.
“Bruce and Selina are flying in to oversee the house purchase and any repairs or renovations that are needed. I believe they were planning on discussing the living situation with you before any permanent decisions are made though.” That seemed to relax her mother but Damian looked livid.
“I don’t see why he has to bring that woman. This has nothing to do with her and she’ll just be in the way. The last thing I need is Father’s booty call trying to make decisions for me.” Marinette looked to Luka but he just shrugged at her. Whoever Selina was Damian hadn’t mentioned her to either of them. Given his obvious hatred for her she was a bit surprised the name hadn’t come up. Tim rolled his eyes.
“They’ve been together three years this time Damian, even you have to admit it’s starting to look like it may stick.” Damian just scowled at him.
“I admit nothing. Their on again, off again bullshit is just a waste of time and money for everyone involved. I refuse to be sucked into such nonsense.” Marinette wasn’t sure why he was so hostile about the situation, but his overall attitude towards romantic relationships was starting to make more sense.
“Whatever it is, it’s between them. You need to chill out Damian. Most likely Selina will stay for a week before she gets bored and then you’ll be free of her. She likes spending time with you almost as much as you do her.” Marinette saw her parents exchange a look and had to wonder if it was because of how disrespectful Damian was being towards his dad’s girlfriend or the fact that his dad was knowingly dating someone that disliked one of his kids. Either way she was grateful for her parent’s solid relationship both for the example and so she didn’t have to deal with anything similar.
“I suppose I’ll just have to find a way to stay away from them until she leaves then.” Damian’s grumbled response caused a spark to form in Luka’s eyes.
“You could always stay with me. My mom won’t mind and Jules is hardly ever home anyway.” Tim’s back was turned so he didn’t see Damian blush or the glare he sent to his boyfriend.
“That’s not a bad idea, at least for a few days while the dust settles. You know how B gets when he has to play mediator with you two and it’ll be worse without Alfred to fix things when he screws them up.” Damian actually looked amused before he hid it behind a mask of annoyance.
“Speaking of Alfred he wanted me to ask you if you’d give my father parenting advice. Though I personally think he’s a lost cause at this point.” Marinette watched her mother roll her eyes.
“I’m sure he didn’t say anything of the sort.” Damian looked insulted.
“I would not have said it if it weren’t true.”
“I’m sure Alfred probably did say it actually. He’s probably tired of Bruce ignoring his advice and is hoping hearing it from someone else will make a difference.” Tim let out an amused huff before continuing. “It’s a shame Alfred isn’t coming since he’s the only one with a successful track record of keeping Damian in line.”
“Maybe that’s because he’s the only one that listens to him. Or the only one that treats him like a person instead of a problem that needs to be fixed or hidden away somewhere they won’t make a scene.” Everyone looked at Chloe in surprise while she pretended to study her nails. Marinette doubted anyone else heard the underlying hurt and anger in her tone as subtle as it was, but she did. Damian was staring at her like she’d grown a second head and Marinette could only sigh. He and Chloe were a lot more alike than either would admit and this was a perfect example of why. They had both been used as tools and props by their parents, especially their mothers. While their fathers seemed to mean well neither seemed to have any real idea how to help them. Damian’s father tried to turn him into himself, while Chloe’s just gave her everything she asked for in the hopes it would calm her down.
“She’s right. All of you seem to push your ideas onto him and ignore anything he says to contradict them. Why wouldn’t he push back?” From anyone else that would have sounded like an accusation. From Luka it was simply a statement of fact and Tim could only frown at him in confusion. Suddenly Marinette decided that it would be mentally and emotionally draining if Damian’s siblings were constantly cycling in and out of Paris. They were going to have to reprogram them all one at a time and hope it stuck until the next time they came back.
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swansstuff · 4 years ago
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So uh, I've been thinking about a hypothetical Trucy Wright: Act Attorney and here is the very poorly written outline for it because yeah. No spoilers except the Apollo Trucy thing. Tw death, murder, blood and grieving so yeah.
Trucy's first case is literally her first ever case. This is a flashback case. We follow her as she wakes up, slightly stressed about today, Phoenix gives her cereal and a pep talk and a cryptic message. Trucy asks where Papa is, it is Miles, they are married. Phoenix is cryptic about that too. He stays behind as he "has to buy groceries" so Trucy heads into the office. Apollo greets her, it's clear they know they're siblings, and he hands her a case. Miles is prosecuting. She is fucking terrified. She goes to the crime scene, Gumshoe is the detective and he's educating his teenage sons, constant confusion of who's who, because they are twins and they look very like Gumshoe, it'll be kinda funny. Its a simple investigation. During the investigation, the player can check Trucy's profile and the profile system shows character's middle names now. We get some gems such as Klavier Hyacintha Gavin later on, the reasoning behind this is coz Trucy is nosy. The important one here is Trucy Mia Wright. She says something about how she chose her own middle name when Phoenix adopted her and she chose Mia after learning about her. Yada yada. Trucy wins the case. Edgeworth is very proud, Phoenix is in the gallery and there's a flash of him crying proud tears, Apollo hugs her afterwards, Athena congrats her.
Next case, flash forward three years later, we do not see Phoenix and nobody really mentions him. Thats because he's fucking dead but we don't know that yet. This case is a Fey case, we meet Maya who is married to Franziska and they're technically on honeymoon in Kurain and Pearl becomes the Maya to Trucy's Phoenix. Its another fey murder case. There are a few mentions of Trucy's admiration of Mia, mainly just a mirror of a few lines she's said and a conversation where her and Maya talk about her, Trucy says she would have loved to meet her and Maya explains how her spirit has been dormant for ages now and how she assumes she's moved on.
"If you want I can try and channel-"
"No no no no NO. Its ok!"
This is our first hint that Phoenix is no longer with us, but we don't know until later thats what she means. Sebastian is the prosecutor, the player finds out that Miles is taking a break from prosecuting work, Trucy already knew of course, and Sebastian is dubbed Chief until he comes back, Fran says
"It would've been me were I not on my literal honeymoon right now." We are not told why yet, but it is because of Phoenix. Kay Faraday is the detective, somebody murders someone and frames Maya, no-one is shocked by this. We also get an update on Iris, she's thriving. She wins yada yada.
Next case, a couple of months later, Trucy gets a call from a friend that the player can't identify at first. Its Katrielle Layton. She needs Trucy's legal knowledge because someone is sueing her detective agency because have you seen how they practice. This, of course, turns to murder and we get another surprise when we meet the prosecutor. Who probably has a licence to practise law in England? Simon Blackquill, he is British ok. Yeah, Trucy wins with Kat's help, we meet Ernest and Sherl and Alfendi and Flora if we have time. I miss them. Trucy and Kat have a conversation that cryptically addresses their fathers and their "whereabouts" and living up to their legacy. We see Trucy cry, but only a similar flash to AJ:AA and we do not know why. Yet.
Next case, flashback case. Trucy is the assistant on this case but we still play as her, even in the court sections since Phoenix is prepping her for the bar and getting her to give him the answers. The bar exam is only in three days. Klavier is prosecuting. The case somehow relates to Kristoph and there's the whole mirror dynamic thing of when Phoenix lost his badge. Kristoph is dead by now, but the whole thing is there was a plot inside prison to make Phoenix pay for putting a bunch of them in, Kristoph was the assumed ring leader until he died and the cops now dont know who's running it. Somebody (Godot? That would hurt big time) was their inside man, sent to figure that out, so when whoever it was turned up dead, the whole thing got exposed. We get a bit of a Mia moment in the trial where Trucy tells Phoenix to flip over the receipt (thats evidence for some reason). Phoenix says "I feel like that shouldn't be the second time someone has said that to me". The killer is found, by Phoenix, and put into isolation, as have most of the other participants. We then see Trucy get her badge. They have a conversation and Trucy says Phoenix basically forgot about it for a couple of months. The case closes with a foreboding "and I forgot about it too, until..."
Next case. Phoenix is fucking murdered. Trucy gets a phone call late at night, she hears laboured breathing on the other end and a "don't forget I love you" from Phoenix. Trucy pulls a simba and goes "dad? Dad?!!" And the line goes dead. The player is presented with a choice of who to call. They have two phone calls. Who they choose first makes no difference, but the second time they are forced to choose Ema who will trace Phoenix's phone call. They could call Apollo and he would comfort her, Miles would panic, Maya would say he was just messing around, Athena would sense her distress and say she's coming over etc. You could attempt to call Phoenix back but he would not answer and you would be allowed to call someone else. Ema then traces the phone call and we follow Trucy to the crime scene. We get a truly haunting cutscene where everything kinda goes blurry except Phoenix's face and the blood. Trucy doesn't cry. She stands there in shock. The WAA is there in various states of shock and upset. Return of grieving Apollo I guess. Miles turns up and the look on his face is haunting. Trucy and him make eye contact and they share the thought of something has to be done. And then. "The bar association took me off the case and Papa too, they said we were too close to it. As a result, we never found out who did it... Until now." And we see a determined Trucy face. We jump forward to where we last saw Trucy, she and Pearl are coming back from England and its a bit more cheery. Trucy sends Pearl on a train back to Kurain and heads on home. She enters the house and we see Miles pouring over Phoenix's case. He jumps up and runs towards her.
"Trucy! I think I have a lead, I-"
"Papa, you're tired, go to bed." (Or better dialogue along those lines)
Its clear he's been doing this sort of thing a lot.
"But I do! At least...I think I do..."
He trails off and rests his head in his hands.
"Do I? Or am I just a mess?"
Trucy gives him a sad smile.
"C'mon let's go to bed."
Miles returns the sad smile and fades out like all ace attorney characters do. The player is given the option to look around. There's probably some emotional dialogue and bits that give clues to how she and Miles have been fairing the past 3 years. Answer is, not very well. Examine the pile of papers on the table. Trucy will take a look and then realise her papa may have actually been onto something. Its a diagram of which prisoners knew each other, with an arrow from each leading to a defense attorney we have never met. Trucy is confused, but she calls for Miles anyway. He comes back downstairs and Trucy asks him about this lead he found.
"Well I realised all those prisoners would know this defense attorney (insert name?)"
"Why? And why would they be suspicious?'
"They (pronouns?) Were always the defense attorney who would take on the cases of those Wright had already accused. They gained a reputation of being the doomed defense attorney."
"So... They knew all the prisoners in the plot and they had a grudge against daddy... Papa I think you're onto something!"
And the case continues, since we already know who's been accused, it plays out more like an investigations game, Trucy has to prove it, with Miles' help of course, literally every other character we know and love plays a part in making sure this guy gets a guilty verdict. There is still a courtroom bit and a moment when all is looking dark, Trucy literally has a full on breakdown as the Judge threatens to remove her from the case again. Miles is by her side, they're both technically prosecution here i guess. Miles, however, is too deep in his own mental breakdown to help. Everyone else is in the gallery besides Pearl. Pearl channels Phoenix as a last hope sort of thing. Phoenix comforts her and tells her to keep fighting, he touches her badge and probably says some sort of bullshit about it. The Judge is about to bang the gavel when Trucy and Phoenix object at the same time. Miles looks up and realises whats going on and he objects too, a little later. The battle goes on until it finishes and the other attorney has a breakdown that steals little bits from every other murderer Phoenix has put behind bars.This is the one time seeing the word guilty on your screen feels good. There's a whole heartwarming celebration at the end, Phoenix sticks around for a little bit and everyone gets a bit of closure. Its assumed he's gone since Pearl passes out and Trucy dips out for a sec. She's away from the festivities, staring at the badge in her hand and we see someone coming up behind her. Maya is channelling Phoenix now. He gives Trucy a hug and utters the words "the only time a lawyer can cry is when its all over and, Trucy darling, my light, its over." Echoing both Diego and Mia.
And the screen fades to black with a final hug between father and daughter.
:)
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scrapyardboyfriends · 4 years ago
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And now for my negative thoughts on the past week and a half of emmerdale. Look away anon who hates this stuff...
The Chaddy wedding is still incredibly stupid and I can’t believe he just decided to do it because Marlon was talking about how terrible his Christmas wedding was. What a way to start that off. I just...I fear they’re going to go through with it and it’s just going to be torture. 
The Paul story is still...painful. I can’t believe they gave him a childhood seizure disorder just to relate to Liv. It’s just so absurd. And this whole thing with Liv and the seizures is just so annoying. I feel like they did all of this already and I thought they already decided she had epilepsy. It feels callous to say I’m tired of seeing her cry over it but because her seizure stuff has just literally never been about her and still isn’t, because just like brining her drinking back up, it’s just to further this dumb Paul plot. Just like her asexuality too. It’s just to get her involved with Vinny so that she can be a plot device in this Paul stuff. I just wish they’d actually at least try to do something with her that’s just for her. It’s very frustrating. And it’s like they remembered that there was no real reason for anyone to be keeping quiet about Paul to Mandy so they had to use Liv to throw another wrench it because it didn’t make any sense. I’m just tired of it all and it’s never going to end. Positives? Vinny has a nice singing voice and I enjoyed Eric being like “I don’t know who the fuck this guy is” to Paul in the cafe. 
Let’s see...the Malone story? Also still terrible. Haha. I mean Harriet is just not meant to be this much of a main character. Let us be free! I really hope all of this new vicar stuff leads her to just go away or at least take a major back seat. The body exhumation stuff is...ridiculous but it’s soapy so sure why not. This would all be more fun if it hadn’t been dragging on for so long and if it centered on just about any other character. Harriet worked so much better as just the cool vicar or the private eye who just popped up to calm down the Pearls and the Emma Bartons of the world and make a quippy comment and then go away. Also....I hate everything they are doing with Dawn. I want her to be free of all of this nonsense too. And I loathe the way they are punishing her for everything with this stupid STI/infertility bullshit. She was put in an impossible situation by her parental figures who got involved with Malone. She was the only one who actually just went to the police about him and then she killed him in self defense and yet she’s being punished this much? I hate it. 
The Al stuff...*eye roll*. I have a problem because I wasn’t watching when he and Priya really got together so I get it even less than I might if I’d seen that. They just really don’t know what to do with Al and they don’t know what to do with Priya either other than give her terrible men to date. Save Priya. As for Al and this whole “mystery woman” nonsense. First of all, it came out of nowhere and has been spectacularly bad. I’m 99% sure it’s just going to be Kim because she’s also supposed to be having an affair and they’ve mentioned her enough times in relation to Al’s weird secret trips. And well...Kim/Al didn’t work the first time so why would it work now? I’m preemptively mad and bored already. It should be Chas. 
This Gabby/Leyla/Liam stuff still feels like too much and not enough. It went on forever and then I don’t feel like the resolution was at all worth while. I still feel like Gabby’s reasons were...underwhelming? Mostly because it’s the same thing she’d been saying from the start. There was never any more to it so why did we bother with such a long story? And Liam continuing to moan about the “accusations” is just getting a bit silly since literally nothing happened because no one knew about it and Gabby came clean rather quickly. I get him breaking up with Leyla. They need to do some real work on their relationship if they want it to actually work. But also, Leyla’s reasons for believing Gabby make sense due to the Maya situation and Liam was acting weird with Gabby over the whole stupid flowers thing. I don’t know, it just all needed to be better told and have a greater purpose. 
The Meena/Manpreet/Rishi stuff is...incredibly forced?! I mean I think they’re starting to handle Meena a bitter better in regards to David, in that we’re actually seeing them spend a modicum of time together but they’re still rushing it unnecessarily. All of the comments I saw in the live blogging about everyone treating Rishi like a child are absolutely valid. It was really dumb. Sometimes they just push him too far into the bumbling comedy thing and it doesn’t work. As far as Meena and Manpreet go, that’s where the forced thing really comes in for me. I just feel like they have this obsession with warring siblings and so they keep trying to make a set that works. Again, the Sugden brother feud worked because it was based on years and years of build up. You can’t just bring in a sibling like Meena or Mack or Billy for that matter and be like “look they have a traumatic backstory with their sibling and now they hate each other and are going to have a constant rivalry for no real reason even though the backstory was explained away and those shouldn’t really be reasons anymore!”. I was thinking back to Jai and Nikhil when they came in. They came in together and they clearly had a brotherly rivalry that you could see play out in the business and how different they were to each other and any conflict they did have was built to more naturally. Hell they did a better job with Ross and Pete and I was never crazy about that. I just feel like Manpreet is unfairly harsh on Meena for stuff we’ve only vaguely heard about instead of anything we’ve actually seen on screen so it doesn’t really work for me. 
Same with Mack and Moira. I get that he might not get over what happened when he was a kid immediately just because he knows the truth now but again it was like this big thing and then it was proven to be not that and now they’re just using it as a reason for Mack to show up and make snarky comments toward Moira about her relationship. I don’t know, I like Mack for the most part but he can’t just be that. Hopefully he’ll have some real feelings in this upcoming Charity stuff and that will round him out a little bit as a character. We’ll see. 
I think....that’s it? The Jamie saga was blessedly quiet in these episodes but with Kim returning, I’m sure I’ll have more to critique there later. 
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falselyprofound · 4 years ago
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So... 2020, huh?
Saying it was rough is an understatement. But also, it’s December 31st, there’s three hours left in the year, and I am far too tired to find the words that carry the proper amount of weight to describe... whatever all that was.
That said, I’m going to try my hardest not to write it off. It was a difficult year, but as with any NYE, taking a step back to think about the things I did accomplish helps keep me sane. Makes me think I’m still moving forward.
So, without further ado...
The World is Weird got nominated for an AGS award! I stayed up until about five am watching the awards ceremony, timezones and Australian wifi be damned. Good times, good times.
Made myself a website! It’s still a little bare-bones but it shows off some of my art and game projects.
Made an OC ask blog! Given how this year went, I very much did not have the mental headspace for writing out any of the comics I’ve been planning. But it is genuinely so nice to have a place to post small tidbits here and there. (Big thanks to everyone who’s sent in asks! I have a few more answers in the works, but feel free to send in more stuff if u feel so inclined)
Finished storyboarding the first act of Buy-r-Die. While that doesn’t sound all that impressive, the game’s had several drastic presentation overhauls this year. I’ve finally settled on something I like - sort of a mix between visual novel and motion comic - and personally I think it adds a lot to the more action-y scenes! I can’t show too much off just yet, but I’m really excited with how things are progressing. In the meantime, the dev log is up on the AGS forums.
Illustrated, wrote, and programmed like half a visual novel for Art Fight. I’ve been chipping away at it in my own time since the fight ended, and while I’ve still got quite a bit of work to do on Spice’s side I’d say it’s coming along p well. Most of the post-fight adjustments aren’t up on GameJolt yet, but you can play the original prototype and read the devlog over here.
Speaking of Art Fight, I earned 1443.62 points this year! That’s about triple the amount of art I did over the past few fights combined. Not bad, considering I had to take two weeks off for an elective.
I also drew some much-needed reference sheets for (most of) my main OCs. One day I’ll update Clarissa’s art. One day.
Played a lot of D&D. Like... a lot. Not all of it turned out to be good, and sadly a lot of games died out due to COVID and/or uni scheduling. But Mel finally escaped her vacation from hell, Sloane finally made it to the town of Barovia, Maya avoided starting an international incident, and I finally managed to drop some Lavinia lore that i’ve been sitting on for four years. Delicious drama.
Finally had a chance to run Monster of the Week! My first attempt was... not all that great, mostly because I was trying to write a scenario from scratch without really understanding the rules. But I’ve now moved on to Damn Dirty Apes, and am having an absolute blast.
Small town superhero OC RPs. You wouldn’t know it from reading this blog but I got, like, really into those this year. Think I wrote something around 40 A4-pages worth of fic for one server, and that’s not counting the actual threads I did with other people. Now I just need to channel that kind of productivity into my solo work...
Lots of digital painting work this year, mostly for personal projects. I like to think my grasp of colour and lighting is getting better, though I still have a long way to go. Regardless, here’s some of it.
Kept on top of my university work, with a distinction average. Barring unforseen bullshit, I should be done with my Masters’ Degree within the next six months!
Did not keep on top of MMB, unfortunately. There was just... too much to do, with too little personal energy to do it with. That said, I’ve started sketching out ideas for a relatively light mini-game. Fingers crossed that’ll surface relatively early into 2021.
It is a little frustrating to see that this is yet another year of half-finished projects, but I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. The mental strain of lockdown, juggling several bouts of drama at once, and uni study all at once is... a lot. And while I’m upset I never completed anything -- jesus christ, it’s a miracle I managed to even start things when my brain was already this full.
Felt like I spent most of this year fighting metaphorical fires... and I don’t know if that’s going to stop any time soon. But anyway.
All that aside, I feel as though my game development workflow is really improving. My code isn’t industry standard, but it’s significantly cleaner, easier, and faster to work with than ever. I’ve gotten some slight animation practice under my belt. And I’ve also dealt with the terrifying world of optimization.
(My games have option menus now! Incredible!)
What’s more, I’m getting better at achieving personal goals without any external pressures or hard deadlines -- which is comforting, as the latest spike in COVID cases has got me worried that I might not be able to get an offline job any time soon. I might need to look into Patreon, advertising my commissions more, or otherwise monetizing smaller projects of mine... we’ll see.
For now, I’m going to go play Animal Crossing and eat chocolate.
‘Cause there’s no fireworks out tonight and I have nowhere to be.
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sharethisgemwithme · 5 years ago
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SUF 18: “Everything’s Fine” instant reaction
As there’s no intro sequence for episodes after the first one, the clock starts as close to the title card as I can make it.
So. Everything’s fine, eh? I call bullshit.
0:01 - Amish and Maya for this one
0:09 - Well he’s still got his jacket at least. And he’s still huge.
0:17 - I didn’t notice the one flip flop on first watch of the last episode.
0:28 - Connie is always there to help.
0:38 - Steven, why are you lying to here? Again.
0:52 - She is not worrying about college prep right now.
1:00 - STOP IT, GODDAMMIT. She is trying to HELP. YOU.
1:13 - This is reminiscent of the start of CYM.
1:24 - Oh, now it’s even if he’s not dreaming that he’s broadcasting to the TV
1:40 - Unless this is a dream, which I wouldn’t forgive.
1:52 - Not fucking remotely.
1:58 - Your family loves you. Let them talk to you.
2:07 - They can see your face.
2:20 - How long can he keep this charade up. Garnet knows it’s bullshit.
2:30 - EVEN AMETHYST KNOWS IT’S BULLSHIT.
2:41 - Ok, he’s helping. Or at least undoing accidental damage.
3:02 - Last time you did that, you caused some significant issues.
3:20 - Everyone instantly knows it’s not good news.
3:28 - Yes, they’re all talking to each other and telling them not to let Steven do fucked up shit.
3:50 - oh good, a whole hundred steven cacti.
4:03 - how do you think that’s ok, steven?
4:21 - what the fuck are you DOING, steve-o?
4:35 - this is beyond denial at this point.
4:56 - yes, bismuth would LOVE to see a diamond.
5:10 - that’s adorable, bismuth.
5:28 - how will this go disastrously wrong?
5:41 - can he do gentle anymore?
5:49 - i’m gonna take that as a no.
6:04 - MI TORTA
6:19 - gem baseball. Why not?
6:41 - and the ball is going ot be destroyed, isn’t it?
7:00 - so not everything on CN’s bingo card will happen.
7:22 - accidents are what happens when you keep abusing your powers without listening to your friends.
7:50 - “WE’RE HELPING” you’re really not.
8:03 - did we just drop the whole jasper thing though?
8:25 - i’m getting tired of this plot, just saying
8:50 - yes. Yes you fucking do.
9:00 - please don’t make them fight you.
9:09 - they don’t know, even now?!
9:30 - this is all one shitty day
9:48 - and there goes the news about jasper
10:04 - that isn’t how it works. When you mess stuff up, sometimes, you can’t fix it
10:21 - and it finally comes out
10:33 - here comes a worm?
10:40 - FUCK.
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shieldedsouls · 5 years ago
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tag dump ten ft. isms, verses, and aesthetic tags !!
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ambitionsource · 5 years ago
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S1 Rewatch: Lena’s Take [1.07]
whew! what an episode! also, i hope it’s no trouble that i send my rewatches in a day late... sorry!
favourite scene: this episode has SO many good scenes... my god. I have to say the paint balloon war scene, though, just for the a) pure chaotic energy and b) good character moments. farkle getting absolutely HAMMERED with paint balloons. isadora screaming war cries (if you imagine this scene without music it would be HILARIOUS), riley being so scared of getting hit she pulls a me back in third grade playing dodgeball. dylan taking a dramatic slow mo paint balloon to the chest. zay and charlie working perfectly together as a tactical team 🥺, ending with both of them absolutely MUCKING lucas as he tries to choose between the revolution and his blooming feelings for riley.... they have NO time for straight nonsense. plus charlie having an ANEURSYM when zay literally HUGS him is so funny (i literally said out loud “charlie sweetie”)... the “intricate rituals that allow you to touch the skin of other men” energy it has... WERE YOU AWARE THAT I LOVE THEM? a good scene on so many comedic and emotional levels! it really demonstrates the boxes the students are stuck in, and how hard they’re going to have to work to get out of them by the end of this ep, and, on a larger scale, the end of the season.... the Nuances.
favourite performance: the amount of ICONIC performances this episode makes it SO HARD TO CHOOSE! maya leading the performers with team.... riley’s melodramatic but still heart-wrenching rendition of cry and you cry alone... farkle’s emotional struggles showcased in control... honestly, it’s a so close for me between thnks fr th mmrs and come out and play... but despite the incredible power of thnks fr th mmrs and the fact that i LOVE the techies’ family dynamic the MOST, especially when they perform together because it’s so few and far between, i have to give it to come out and play. a) i LOVE that song, b) it undercurrents my favourite scene in the episode.... and c) its a zc duet. im SORRY but like i think it serves REALLY well to highlight the frustrations and core of the scenes: a taunting, frustrated battle between two sides who want nothing more than to be kept separated. also, for two characters who still don’t know each other SUPER well... zc really work excellently as a team, directly contradicting the isolation and separation from others they both discussed feeling last episode... They CLICK... n that hug.... i love them so much. however i must point out the POWER thnks fr th mmrs has to be led by dylan and asher. like PLEASE. theyre baby. i love them so much and the joy pumped into my soul whenever asher gets to sing? unmatched.
favourite character this ep: lucas fucking friar ABSOLUTELY RULED this episode. king stomps back into school in his giant stompy boots and stages a giant stompy revolution. lucas’ ability to just show up and throw places into chaos is WONDERFUL, and focusing on it means he ran this episode. outnumbered by enemies and returning late, he staged a full-fledged week-long revolution... and it was successful. he also had some of the best lines this episode, and i love how, despite the fact that he pretends not to care about ANYTHING, he has such a dedication to his friends that makes it only obvious how much he actually cares about everything. this episode was lucas in his element, showcasing the way he’s softening around riley (i LOVE they) and how steadfast and determined he is in his beliefs, stances, and endeavours. lucas cares, okay? he cares a LOT. i love lucas a lot and if i had more energy i would go into an unnervingly deep psychoanalysis of him... but i don’t, so i’ll say i love him the MOST and i’ll leave it at that.
favourite line: lucas: It’s like they say, you know. “If we burn, you burn with us.” That’s classic literature, right? jack, deadpan: The Hunger Games. | also “white nonsense”. EXCELLENT, zay.
an underrated moment: yindra and nigel being absolutely iconic this episode. the two of them plus jade are the three side characters i feel unfairly attached to. the moment where they go to meet lucas and isadora to straight up say they’re tired of the bullshit.. they were actually real standouts this episode and it really goes to show how much main character drama effects the sise characters, which isn’t discussed very much and is ALWAYS nice and refreshing to see. plus nigel as mulligan made my little heart sing.... HIS BREAK DANCE JUMP UP!! get nigel on america’s got talent, i DARE YOU.
something i missed the first time around: FARKLE STARTING TO RANT AT ISADORA WHEN HE FEELS UNFAIRLY TARGETED, FORESHADOWING HIS DIVA MELTDOWN IN THE FINALE... BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT. we get a subtle warning that we do NOT heed. i also think i overlooked how clearly farkle’s mental health issues are showcased this episode, which improve as he gets friends later on, but are ripped wide open again in the finale.
first impression vs your reread impression: loved it both times, more this time. this episode is a major turning point for the main conflict of the season (techie & performer divide) and is SO goddamn intense, especially with the end scene... the bit where we get shots of EVERYONE alone on their phones, ensuring it could be anyone at school? INCREDIBLE. SHOWSTOPPING. love love loved this ep.
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literally NO TROUBLE AT ALL lena dear, we love to read them regardless of when you send!! the fact that you’re being so diligent about participating is like impactful as it is <3 and lucky us bc your thoughts are always so GOOD. i literally don’t even know where to start because you just said so many good things. what i WILL say is that you may get the chance to talk to nigel or yindra or jade v soon... and also i WILL be looking forward to that deep psychoanalysis of lucas james sometime in the future,, but SHOUT OUT to you pointing out another foreshadowing moment... but also ma’am your descriptions of things are just so poetic. like where is your aaa fandom blog in the fake aaa universe so i can follow and reblog all your meta posts as the seasons unfold being like damn... yeah... points were made,,,,
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horansqueen · 5 years ago
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I know she needs a push to tell Niall, but part of me just wanted to tell Liam and Julie to fuck off😂even though they're meddling, love that they get that Niall's totally blind to his own feelings This was so emotional, I mean"He had told me I was his priority but I wasn't sure he had noticed that he had always been mine" just killed me and that part where she wants to kiss him is soooo goood! Had to read it like 10 times! And I hate Maya, wonder if she gets how deep Niall's feelings really are
aww i dont think Liam and Julie meant wrong lmao i think theyre just tired of the bullshit too haahhaha! and yea clearly everyone can see how Niall feels and that hes so blinddddd dammit hahaha! omg im so happy you noticed that sentence! i wrote it and thought “this is it, this is the base of this story, the base of their relationship” so that means SOOOO MUCH that you mention it! thank you!  and thank you! I was scared that repeating myself would get annoying because she says she wants to kiss him like 5 times or sum lol i just wanted to put emphasis on it because even if she sort of always wants to kiss him, at that point it is very strong and its means more than a kiss you know? at that point when she says she wants to kiss him she means more than the kiss it implies... if it makes any sense for someone else than me haha! as for Maya i do think she does. i think that if she didnt, she wouldnt be so possessive, you know? thank you sooo much for this omg this message made me happy haha :) love you!
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