#matthew what are you doing!!!!!!!!

[counterspelling]

day 2 of non-stop thinking about the return of vax. i'm rotating the orb in my mind. i'm trying not to let more than 1% of me hope that this is matt's way of bringing him back and finally giving vax and keyleth the happy ending they deserve bc i simply cannot!!! live through that heartbreak again!! if it doesn't happen!!!

[zombie-jed]

“They didn’t give Afton a motive”

Did Norman Bates have a motive? Nope. Did they ever really decide why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people? Don't think so. You see, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive, Sid.

[eph3merall]

. . . ( part 2 )

—

"nah, what the fuck is this— big bad wolf bullshit?" you can hear matt's voice falter for a second, your bare knees digging into the wood floor of his room. he decided to stream for a few hours tonight, both chris and nick away doing their own things.

for the first hour and a half matt just played some games until you got bored and snuck under his desk, his hand cupping your cheek to give it a light warning smack to whatever cheeky ideas that were brewing in your head.

deft hands slowly started tugging his sweatpants down, to which he just hummed and swiveled around gently in his chair for a second. settling back down, matt was leaning forwards a little to put some music on for the stream, shouting out names he was able to catch that were gifting.

he's fixing his headset and turning the music up a little, it's mainly just to hide any groans and sighs he lets out however. for a second, he steals a glance down at you to find you slowly lowering the hem of his boxers, and he responds by subtly lifting his hips.

matt didn't totally like this idea. one little mistake and the whole stream of.. fifteen thousand people would know what was going on, but he couldn't deny how painfully hard he was just by seeing you on your knees—a little cramped under the small space of his desk.

when you free his length to find pre already dribbling from his slit, your thumb reaches up to thumb at his tip and spread the bead of pre made lube down his shaft. you don't miss the way his thighs tense, hips twitching up a little as you listen to the way he scolds the chat for telling him to react to edits and read fanfiction.

one hand rests on his thigh while the other jerks up and down slowly, twisting your wrist up at the top as you lean forward. parting your lips, you let some saliva drip down the length of his dick and don't miss the heavy sigh he lets out.

soon you're hollowing your cheeks out and bobbing your head gently up and down matt's cock—one hand threading through your hair and digging blunt nails into the back of your head. you can't see his face—but you can hear the way his voice trembles once in awhile and how heavy he's breathing.

your nose presses into his skin, dick shoved all the way down your throat and you gag—only forcing matt to ball one of his hands up into a fist to pretened to cough because he was about this close to letting out a groan.

the noisy slurping and gagging noises of your mouth have him panicking for a second before he's quickly turning the volume of the music up, per chat's request and totally not because it put him just a little more at ease.

he keeps a hand casual over his mouth or on his face, pretending to cough or whatever. his other hand is leaving your head—fingers twitching to pull you off just so he can fuck your throat to his heart's content.

so far so good, right? the stream went pretty smoothly until you'd done something with your tongue and he felt his tip hit the back of your throat, and matt's head is tilting back against his gaming chair and a tortured groan is ripped from his lips.

oops?

notes. sorry if this has spelling mistakes / mistakes in general or anything doesn't make sense i am TIREDD... feel kinda insane w how good matt n chris looked on stream tho. anyways where the fuck did 75 followers come from? like? what??? thank u all i love u guys <3 know its not a lot but argghhb + i reached 100+ notes on a post like ugh <33

—

©eph3merall 2024

[tiredcowboyy]

I hate when people (usually men on reddit) are like “if you met arthur back then he would murder you for breathing in his existence!” Oh would he? When? Before or after he’s finished doodling bunnies and flowers?

[sunny-rants]

sometimes I forget that yellowjackets is a horror show and not a cute 90s high school sitcom but sapphic, where the goth loner surprises everyone by going out with the geeky theatre kid, and the uptight christian girl chills out when she starts smoking weed with her stoner girlfriend, and the mean lesbian and her butch are running the girls locker room like it’s a gay speakeasy and their exasperated health teacher/soccer coach has to keep getting them out of trouble and no one gets lost in the woods or cannibalized

[ratatatastic]

maffhew who refuses to say runebergin torttu because he knows hes gonna butcher it so bad he might be kicked out of the country the second he tries and staunchly avoids that by going "the one dessert that barky is going to have to explain 😃"

sasha who gets faced with the most generic description of everything hes ever eaten in his life so far because of maffhew and going "???... oh you mean runebergin torttu!"

"he did good he liked the food and he likes the finland so far so its good" sasha says with so much pride now that all the anxiety has left his system that his husband teammate is enjoying his country and doesnt hate it

media availability | 10.29.24 (x)(x)

the smile of a man who knowlingly doomed his husband and said husband using all his brain power to context clues his way to whatever the fuck he just got asked that his brain is running hotter than a mid 2012 macbook air thats somehow still alive in the year of the lord 2024 but girl does she chug along shes louder than a fighter jet

[lottieshauna]

Lottie isn't going to die.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Jesus wasn't Palestinian you dumb heretic. Palestine didn't exist yet. The Palestinian people didn't exist yet. Read the fucking bible. Dumbass

(what anon's responding to)

This is going to sound sarcastic but i mean it genuinely: i love getting called a heretic by randos online. helps me know i'm doing some things right!

In honor of Jesus the Palestinian Jew, here's an excerpt from a sermon (which you can read / listen to in full over here) I wrote back in June on how Jesus's direct identification with those the world calls "least" in Matthew 25 empowers (and challenges) us to envision him as literally one with all who are denigrated, disenfranchised, executed by Empire — as Palestinians are today.

...In proclaiming himself not only kin with the world’s outcasts, but literally one with each and every one of them, Jesus empowers us to imagine him in ever newer, ever more expansive ways. He empowered Black theologian James Cone to declare that Christ is Black, and that every time a Black person is lynched, Christ is re-crucified with them. He empowered disability theologian Nancy Eiesland to declare that God is disabled – to envision the throne of God as a wheelchair, and to point out how the wounds with which Christ rose would have impaired his movement. He empowered gay artist Maxwell Lawton to paint Christ with AIDS lesions, and photographer Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin to depict Christ’s resurrection wounds as transgender top surgery scars. Though some have decried all these images of Christ as blasphemous, it was Jesus himself who told us that he is one with those whom the world denies food, safety, medical care, freedom, and love...

btw if anyone has other examples of theologians declaring Christ a member of a marginalized group it's my fave thing so please add on. Another great one is S. Yesu Suresh' declaration that Christ is Dalit (the "untouchable" class in India).

[gremlin-boah]

Look what I found out in the memes...

Well...

One hell of a way to find out.

[moonmoonthecrabking]

one of the many reasons i love the bi paul headcanon (???) is how it’s a fuck you to stereotypes. “bi people are adventurous” “queer men are theatrical” “bi people are sluts”. no. here’s a guy who has lived in his hometown his whole life, hates musicals, and has one canon love interest across three musicals. he is awkward and tired and unsociable and will not see mamma mia. and he swings both ways but he won’t participate in the company softball league.

[deerest-deer]

lottie + hugs

[puwumats]

first words dimension 20: the ravening war | critical role: calamity

aka: two more crossover seasons and we'll be able to make the atla opening

[eph3merall]

there's toxic!chris.. but what about toxic!matt ?

this was so stupid. matt was such a fucking bitch! sure, yeah, you know you aren't the only girl he's fucking. but would it kill him to clean up after himself sometimes? you're sitting on the edge of matt's tidied bed—actively ignoring the red lace bra and tropical smelling perfume bottle you found laying around his floor.

he's stalking out of the shower with damp hair, a pair of low hanging sweatpants and a black tank, with his eyes already roaming over you. immediately he can tell something is wrong and he isn't sure if he wants to even pester you about it, knowing he probably won't even get an answer.

"so, like.. you okay?" are the first words you hear from matt as he shifts around to get comfortable on his bed. he rests his head back against his headboard, a pillow supporting his lower back as he crosses his arms across his chest. your back is to him, and you don't answer.

right. he should've seen this coming. just because you're silent at first doesn't make him stop though, because oddly enough the idea of you being upset (you, his favorite hoe) has his mind reeling and stomach churning uncomfortably so he tried to get you to open up.

he's putting both his hands up when you turn around and snap at him, all annoyed. "god, matt, do you ever know when to leave something alone? obviously i'm fine so why can't you just shut the fuck up?!" he hates to admit how beautiful you look and sound right now, brows furrowed in exasperation and lips parted, screwed into a scowl.

"no, y'know what, i'm leaving." he was too busy staring at your lips and your chest that he didn't hear the words leave your mouth for a second before you're suddenly getting up and gathering some of your belongings. matt is up in a second to wrestle you to face him, hands on your shoulders and shaking furiously.

"seriously, what the fuck is wrong? you haven't ever acted like this, like, ever." you're ignoring him, because he was such a douche. yeah, you get that you aren't special to him but sometimes he really was a fucking bitch. call it jealousy.. you weren't dealing with it tonight. "matt— leave me alone." white hot tears are already springing into your eyes out of anger as well, and having matt see you cry seemed embarrassing enough that it encouraged you to twist and squirm yourself from his grasp.

he doesn't get it until he sees your eyes water, and he's confused nonetheless. does he act though? yeah, because he wasn't thinking. his arms are around you in a second, effectively spinning the smaller girl in his arms to his chest. a ringed hand is cradling the back of your head, tangling into strands of hair.

"what's wrong, huh?" he's mumbling into your head and holding you a little too tight for comfort. but matt didn't want you to leave. so when he felt your body go lax in his arms he loosens up a little, enough so to tug you towards his bed where he lets you lay your head on his chest.

he doesn't exactly expect an answer, and he's not surprised when he doesn't get one. his grip is always firm, as if making you sure you don't somehow get up. because oddly enough, he wants you here. not even to fuck, he just wants you like this—cheek pressed against the material of his black tank and your body on top of his.

you're pissed off still. it's mainly the reason you're giving matt the whole silent treatment shit, even if you know it's a little unfair. he's told you multiple times you aren't the only girl he fucks, that you aren't special in any way. (you are though, he thinks you're special but won't ever tell you) you don't get why this is upsetting you, it's not like you seriously have feelings for him, right?

sighh toxic!matt is such a bitch n he makes me wanna punch something but he's one of my favs

not proofread

more smut coming soon !! idk when maybe when i get ideas and finally finish my masterlist ....

—

©eph3merall 2024

[an-american-crisis]

I can’t believe every time someone needs an actor to play an unhinged gay evil freak in a corporate-esque setting they just call up matthew macfadyen and he’s like “yeah sure”

[nicky-jr]

matt saying that kelsey loves trudy multiple times in the new peach pit. happy yuri day everyone

[the-lonelyshepherd]

wowza. a yellowjackets animatic