#marijuana addiction

[cjd-nbr]

Way too much pressure on not smoking… definitely smoking less, enjoying it less. Doing it before activities and going out less. Less quick to do it as soon as I get in. Progress…

Worried about having to go back to work already next week.

I’ve Never smoked before work, or went into work stoned. Which I have always used to play down my addiction/dependence.

But I’m making progress in the meantime… focusing less on the smoking and more on just making sure I’m doing the things I need for myself the basics. Sleep, eat, grooming, connecting with friends and family.

Putting positive energy/action into myself whether I am smoking or not.

I can literally feel myself enjoying the high less. Pausing more. Delaying more.

My behaviors although not all at once or that rapid, are changing. I’ve got to acknowledge that and keep moving.

Things I can continue so work on, more meditation, more prayer, more challenging myself.

But I am so much more optimistic about life than I’ve ever been. I’m proud.

Gotta stay steady. More bumps and triumphs of the mind to come.

[girlofthenight]

Ninna canna obbligatoria !✌🏼

[rosyqueer]

On November 10th, 2023 I reached 90 days in sobriety! I didn’t think I’d reach that because I didn’t think I’d ever be an addict. I watched my mom, part of me hated her for it. Resenting the childhood she made me grow up in. How could I ever do that to myself?

But it was easy. I spent my teenage and early adult years hating myself, struggling to find answers to why I felt the way I did. Why I felt so… wrong. I was barely surviving. I never learned how to be a functioning human. I was thrown out there to do the best I could. I latched on to relationships, filling that void. Part distraction from reality and the other part trying to find the love I never got as a child. The harder I tried and the more disappointments and heartbreaks, the more I just confirmed that there really was something wrong with me. I am the bad one.

That first hit of weed melted me. In my room, alone, at 23. I felt the anxiety of not being a good partner, son, friend, just leave my body. I thought I was using weed to feel better and to be better. In reality I was cutting off and blocking an entire side of myself. Being high made me feel better because I was ignoring everything.

That ignoring was what made my mess. It made me hit my bottom. I woke up after a particularly bad night of using and had enough. There was a tiny sliver of self worth it me, enough to recognize that this wasn’t me. Things could be so much better.

[blissrecovery]

Stigma and Misconceptions About Marijuana Addiction

Know about the Stigma and Misconceptions Surrounding Marijuana Addiction in detail by reading this article. Also, read about what are the facts about its use. For more details, you must visit this link: https://blissrecoveryla.com/addressing-stigma-and-misconceptions-surrounding-marijuana-addiction/.

[raspberry-pudding]

6/3/2024

It's been a very long time since I've posted. I just haven't thought about this account much over the past two-ish months.

I'm in a rough position. I mean, I don't know, I feel like it's rough but I know everything is gonna work out completely fine. Work has made me start smoking 4 joints a day, including smoking throughout my shift now. But I don't have to worry about that anymore because yesterday was my last day there. I've already been able to cut it back down to 2 joints a day, plus some of a bowl at bedtime.

More weed waffling below the cut, as always.

Honestly, I've been so distracted with work that I haven't noticed the negative impacts weed has had on me lately. Which, I don't like because it makes doing it feel more okay to me. If feel likes I'm smoking just to be okay with being alive and I'm sick of feeling that way. Not every day is like this, but the hard ones are.

Sorry if this post sounds a little groggy or weird in language, I've been up awhile and am drinking coffee, but my brain just still isn't here yet. I like writing things out in the morning, though, because it takes me away from accidentally getting stuck on my phone -- which has also been a terrible issue lately. Generally, I can keep myself away from my phone pretty easy because I don't like the notifications or being talked to. But I have been struggling a lot with not going on TikTok and Instagram, and the tendency to go on these apps increases when I'm stoned for sure. I can just zone out on the apps and not even realize what's happening until hours later -- I hate that shit.

I quit my job. Because I started doing a work from home job instead and it was going really great for a month. Until I was told that the company would no longer prioritize relocating me to new projects in the future. So, I could get more work in the future but it sounds unlikely. I quit my job so I could do this one more instead -- it used my degree, it paid well, I thought I was doing really well at it because all my feedback was good. But now, I don't have a job, and while my fiancé and I can live on his check fine, I really liked making money and having my own money to pay for student loans.

My fiancé tells me to look at it all as a blessing in disguise. I'll just say what my job was, why does it matter? I feel so paranoid about someone on here knowing who I am but this blog has literally been nothing but me speaking into the void. I worked at a Starbucks for the past 6 months and at first it was fantastic. I joined a new location and was able to get one on one training before the place opened, so I really got the recipes down and everything. But I stayed about 3 or 4 months longer than I really should have. I loved making drinks, I loved being with my coworkers, but what I didn't love was management and the fact that me and two other girls were always stuck doing everything in that place. I love my coworkers -- but damn, a lot of them did not do a single thing. I didn't even work as much as everyone else and the few days I did work I was carrying the whole weight of the place on my back. Sometimes I got stuck as the only person there and would jump between register, making drinks, making food, and doing prep all at the same time -- I'm so happy we didn't have a drive thru at this location. But I would literally do everything back there, and I think my breaking point was that my manager still acted like what I was doing wasn't enough for her. Not to mention, I'm not a person who has their phone out when they work and I got yelled at for handing someone my phone to watch one video I was talking about while I made the one and only drink order we had. Meanwhile, my coworkers are blatantly on TikTok behind the counter and they don't get anything said to them.

Fuck, this post about recovering from weed just turned into a waffle about my work. But this place is what's made my consumption so awful lately. I forgot the point too -- that maybe this is all a blessing in disguise for me. I was looking for any reason at all to quit. I was busting my ass every day I went in and the manager was starting to treat me like shit more and more -- like I can't do anything right and that I'm a new problem for her to conspire getting rid of. Which, she did with others, conspiring ways to make them quit or get fired and it kept working; and when her attitude with me started changing in this way I knew I was next anyway. I don't even understand why she keeps doing it; someone does something very little that she doesn't like and instead of talking to them, her and the assistant manager just conspire to get rid of them. Until we're short staffed as fuck -- we've been running on 6 employees per day at work when we should have double that because she keeps trying to get rid of people. But then she doesn't wanna hire anyone new because she doesn't want to train them. Well, me and my best friend quit on the same day so now they're so short staffed they have to hire people, because not enough people are there to give days off.

My fiancé has been tired of me coming home for lunch and just breaking down crying and screaming every day. And he's right about how a shitty, minimum wage ass job shouldn't leave me that way. Maybe the purpose of the other job was just to prove that I can find something better and a reason to get away from Starbucks. I really don't know the purpose of any of it right now.

I guess I'm just glad to be away from that place. I'm sad about it because I genuinely liked the work and my coworkers, but I didn't like getting stuck with every part of the job by myself only to get yelled at that I'm still not doing good enough. I guess it's easy to see why I started smoking at work and went up to 4 joints a day.

I really do think now that I'm away from that place, being able to get a handle of how much weed I'm smoking will improve. Like I said, I've already brought it back down to 2 joints a day. I also haven't been enjoying the way weed makes me feel lately, it's more like a headache than anything else. And of course, I think it's a big source of my laziness and procrastination that I used to not have at all before smoking.

I've tried this journey so many times, but I feel really good about this go around. I think I can really do good this time. I've waffled so long today. Thanks for listening.

Iris🪻

[head-post]

US to re-classify marijuana as less dangerous drug

The US Justice Department on Tuesday decided to make marijuana use a lesser federal offence, in a move to remove the drug from the category that includes heroin that could change cannabis policy across the country, US media reported.

Justice Department spokesman Xochitl Hinojosa said in a statement:

“The US Attorney General sent a proposal to the White House to re-classify marijuana.”

It comes after Joe Biden became the first president to initiate federal consideration of the issue in 2022. The issue is seen as a potential vote-winner for Mr Biden, who will face Republican Donald Trump in a difficult rematch in this November’s election, especially among young people who the incumbent Democratic president is trying to win over to his side.

Since 1970, marijuana, along with heroin, ecstasy and LSD, has been classified as a so-called “Schedule I” drug, meaning it has no accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse.

Under the proposal, however, it would be downgraded to a Schedule III drug, along with drugs such as ketamine and painkillers containing codeine, with a moderate to low likelihood of addiction, Ms. Hinojosa said in a statement.

“This is the next step in the formal rescheduling process,” a source familiar with the issue told AFP. The process would still require a long period for public comments and finalisation. Read more HERE

[goodbyemaryjane]

I just had a long conversation with someone who feels now like I did more than a year ago -- that she's sick and tired of feeling terrible and smoking to feel normal, but she's scared to quit. I fully recommended it and gave my best advice, and she said it helped - that she wants to quit now! One of the best things about recovering from an addiction like that is being able to be that person who gets it, being someone who understands what another addict is going through when they need it the most. I'm so grateful that I haven't relapsed, and I'll do my best to make sure I never do.

[nixon-official]

Do you like crack?

HOW DARE YOU???

NIXON DOESN'T DO DRUGS!!!!!

[officialmichaelnesmith]

the beginning of the terror needs to have a disclaimer that reads something like ⚠️ WARNING‼️ GATEWAY DRUG INTO POLAR EXPLORATION ⚠️

[raspberry-pudding]

4/8/2024

It's been awhile since I've made a post and I think I'd like to before I have to go into work today. It's only a 5 hour shift, so it'll be over in no time, but damn -- only 5 hours? Why even be there at that point?

I've recently put my foot down about the days I'm available at work, so I finally have a consistent weekly schedule that doesn't change much. The times might change, but I'm now only available three days a week, giving me four days a week to work on my projects. I'm really excited to have a routine come back into my life. There are so many things I've put to the side this year for work, and all of them are technically much more important than this job. Ugh, I just, can't wait to have a consistent schedule, even if the times might be different every week at least it's always the same days.

Let's talk about how my weed addiction is going below the cut.

I think the last time I posted, I talked about a friend I've made who is much deeper in the addiction than I am and how that's made me feel like I'm not really an addict. I think now, even though my problem isn't as extreme as others, I do still struggle with a problem that I need to cut out of my life. I might not be smoking the entire day, or doing high doses of THC like with a dab, but I notice that it's still impacting my life and keeping me from doing things that I want to do. It's like I come home from work, I smoke, and I just zone out on TikTok the entire evening. It's been a big problem, especially because I'm getting more and more bored in the evenings.

Another reason I really need to cut it out is my tendencies to snack more on weed. Especially the indica I'm using to help me sleep now -- I have to smoke it when I'm in bed. If I don't, and I just casually smoke it in the evening while at my desk or in the living room then I will eat anything in sight. To the point that my stomach still hurts the next day. It's bad.

Thankfully, I got a hybrid that doesn't make me hungry. Still, the dispensary isn't always going to have the non-munchie stuff in stock all the time.

I can't remember if it was Wednesday or Friday now that I was watching hotdiggedydemon, or Max G, stream and he was discussing his own problems with weed in the past. Also, how he's off it now, has never felt better, and agrees that it is an addictive substance. If anything, his talk about weed made me feel really validated that what I should be doing is the right choice.

Recently, I did have an evening where I smoked three joints -- three! But it was a one off thing because otherwise I've been good to only smoke one or two joints a day. My problem now though is that the first joint usually happens around 9 or 10 AM. I think that's way too early, but on my days off I struggle to restrict myself because it's so nice to smoke then clean the house. I do need to stop, though. I can't get high that early and expect to succeed at all the other things I want to do.

I'd like to start quitting by waiting to smoke around 4 or 5 PM and going back to one joint a day to ween myself off. I know my last plan didn't go well lol, when I said I was going to keep my weed in the basement. Maybe that could still be in the cards if I need it. So far, yesterday I got off work at 2 and did well to wait until after 4 to smoke. I think it's going to be my days off where I'll struggle the most.

In my head, I always see myself meditating to get past any cravings for weed I might have. But thinking about actually doing that makes me cringe a little. It's a little woo-woo, or hippy dippy. But maybe it's something that could help me. I don't really know though.

It's hard. I feel like I know so clearly the things I need to do to quit and get back the lifestyle I want, yet taking action feels impossible. And there's no reason for it to feel impossible.

It's a Monday, and I feel hopeful for myself that this is gonna be the week. But how many times have I told myself that for the past 2 years? At some point, it has to be true though.

Iris🪻

[antifacatra]

HOLY SHIT STERLING IS LITERALLY STARDEW VALLEY JESSE PINKMAN WTF

thank you for gifting us players with him free of charge @himetarts

[thrawns-babygirl]

Tw Addiction, drugs

Y'all I'm officially 6 months sober and I can't believe it.

I know a lot of people scoff at the idea of marijuana addiction, saying its not real but it absolutely is. I spent the better part of 5 years stoned literally every single day. Spending hours upon hours smoking joint after joint doing literally nothing else. I would smoke before I did anything and everything, it was my entire personality and it was fucking me up in a really bad way.

I wouldn't go out to friends places unless people were smoking up, I wouldn't leave the house for days at a time unless I was buying more pot, I went to work stoned but no one could tell because I was literally always stoned so so many people literally though that was just how I was.

It was unhealthy and in the end it really fucked me up. It gave me some lasting negative effects on my mental health, it gave me severe paranoia that I still struggle with 6 months on as well as heightened my anxiety to a degree I've never dealt with before.

The withdrawals were intense, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, no appetite, totally unable to sleep for weeks.

I lost friends because so many people I hung out with only cared about smoking and getting high together so they just don't contact me amymore.

Its still hard to ignore the cravings when people bring it up and talk about smoking socially, but its something that im learning to work through and deal with.

I hate how people treat pot addiction as if its a joke or not real because it really truly is. And I am so proud of myself for getting through the last six months. Its been hard, but its been oh so worth it.

So if you're struggling with addiction, just know it is 100% possible to overcome. You can do it. Its hard but it's so insanely rewarding. You can rebuild your life and your social circles. You can become the person you thought you never could be.

I believe in you.

Don't give up.

[gxlden-angels]

I don't know entirely how to explain this, but I think an important part of healing from religious trauma is learning about substance use disorders and shifting your views on drugs to neutral

[raspberry-pudding]

3/9/24

I'll go ahead and admit that I gave in and smoked a little last night. But not nearly as much as I might have if I actually had weed on hand. I scraped up just enough out of my grinder to fill a chillum once. I did really good for most of the day though, which is at least better than I've been doing by waking and baking. I didn't smoke the chillum until after dinner, maybe around 6 PM. It was just enough to give me a buzz, but didn't keep me stoned. Which is probably a good thing, that's the least I've smoked in a day in a long while. Waking up this morning I don't have a headache and I feel pretty good; my head feels clear.

Something I've noticed from trying to quit in the past is how the beginning of the second day I'm already feeling back to normal. I already feel really good and full of energy. Granted, I did smoke yesterday, but I guess it wasn't enough to affect me the next day. Really, that's the place I'd like to be at -- maybe only smoking once or twice a week and not smoking much when I do. I'd like to quit, but I also wouldn't mind a healthier relationship with the substance. I just wonder if that's possible for me to do, or if I need to just cut it out of my life.

More below the cut for those interested.

When I talked to my fiancé about quitting, of course he was supportive but also thought quitting cold turkey could go wrong. I've tried quitting cold turkey in the past and I agree, it seems like I almost always immediately relapse and go harder. He suggested I get the weed, but make it really inconvenient to access once I have it.

I'll admit right now, I am going to get weed today and I am going to smoke a joint today (mostly because this is my last day off before returning to work for the week). But, I have a plan. I plan to preroll a few joints and put them (and any leftover flower) in a lockbox I recently bought for another purpose. I'm then going to put the lockbox somewhere in my basement -- my least favorite place to go in the house which I will avoid at any and all costs. Maybe this part is silly, but I'm going to be keeping the keys for the lockbox in a code safe we have. Every bit of weed is going to be so inconvenient for me to get to that I'm hoping I now only smoke when I really, really want it and not just out of boredom or habit. Putting it in the basement, I hope, should be a perfect place for it. I've put off tasks around the house for several months just because it involved going to the basement.

The joint I plan to have later, I don't plan to smoke until around 5 or 6 PM. Another of my bad habits lately has been smoking way too early in the day. I've been waking and baking like I'm on vacation. Worse, all last week I was smoking before going to work which I typically don't like doing. That's how I realized how bad it's starting to get again. I can't work stoned, I hate working stoned -- to me it's a private pastime that I don't want anyone to know about. Yet every day last week I was walking into work stoned. Luckily this week I'm all morning shift so there is no time to smoke before work.

On another note, my Instagram lately has been filled with people who do have the healthy weed to life/work balance. Or, at least they appear like they do. Every time I see it I get so jealous. Why couldn't that be me? Why can't I just smoke it and continue being normal, or even have it actually improve my life. I see so many stoners who have a consistent routine, who can still exercise and get shit done. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be cool like that? Why do I smoke weed and get lazy and unproductive and get my entire life-force sucked out of me. Why do I have the brain chemistry where I smoke weed and then my entire life falls a part? Like, I can't do anything I used to anymore.

I guess they're influencers, and like any social media influencer there's a group of people watching and wishing they could be like them. I wonder how many other people watch these peaceful stoners with perfect, colorful, and serene lives and wish they could have that relationship with weed. I wonder if those influencers even truly have that relationship with weed, or if they're just good at acting.

Is there just something wrong with me? Is there something I'm doing wrong? I want to fix myself so bad. I want my ambition back.

Like I said yesterday, what makes it harder on me is that none of my friends who smoke weed feel the same as me. So not only are these influencers living perfect lives while smoking, but my friends are too. Though, if I'm being honest, at least two of them I suspect are struggling like I am but don't admit to it. I won't say anything to them though because we all have to go on our own journeys -- but they will continue to tell me how weed can't be addictive.

I feel so alone on this journey, which only makes it harder to quit. I hope one day I can find someone who's going through the same as me. If for any reason, just so I can feel like I'm not being dramatic, or to validate how awful an addiction to weed can be. To make me feel like my struggles are real and not silly.

Every day I worked last week it was in the 70s and sunny, but every day I've been off it's been cold and rainy. And the same is about to happen this coming week. I miss being outside in the sun and in my hammock.

Iris🪻