#many things wrong with these women and im all here for it
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crocrubies · 3 months ago
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just finished episode 5 :)
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foccaccia · 9 months ago
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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enbyblades · 2 years ago
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my official rotb review:
okay
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frumdyke · 6 months ago
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genuinely forgot that there are people who see cishet as the default which like yeah i guess is setting myself up for disappointment but its never a fun thing to hear from a rebbetzen innit. i mean maybe it means ive mostly surrounded myself with good people ?? or at least people who know that there may be a faggot among them ?? lmao
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scara-writes · 9 months ago
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sweetheart
Yandere Emperor X Consort! (F)Reader X Yandere Crown Prince(platonic)
милашка-sweetheart according to google correct me if im wrong!
CW: kidnapped, reader is look down upon by the nobles, infantilize, forced pregnancy, dehumanizing, mentions of attempt suicide, false rumor, power imbalance, worshipping, delusional(?)
NOTE: Crown Prince is at the age of 16(he is your first/oldest son). Reader is around 36-38. Emperor is two year younger than the reader. Also I don't speak russian everything is google (the empire is not based on irl russian empire but a fantasy world like the manhwas/shoujou isekai we read) and english is not my first language you can clearly see when you read the story. This is purely a fiction and I do not mean to offend anyone.
I DO NOT CONDONE ANY ACTION IN THIS FICTION.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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Running is not ideal for a 5 month pregnant woman like you.
When you tried to seek help from your parents for the first time, they never helped you because who would believe an illegitimate daughter who was frowned upon by nobles.
You are an illegitimate child of the duke and a humble maid who passed away shortly after giving birth, but despite this, you are a physically and mentally healthy child. You even managed to withstand the attempts of your stepmother and your half-sister to discredit you in the family, and didn't even find a help to your neglectful father who busies himself of taking home many women from brothel.
That was in the past but you were desperate when you ask for their assistance. However, you never heard from them ever since you bore your first child, Ize.
Ize your son. Your lovely crown prince son grew up to be like your husband with his teachings. You tried to persuade him to never listen to his father but he only shook his head and told you that all his teaching that he was learning from his old man was to protect you.
Afraid that it will stress you even more in this suffocating high walls to protect you during your pregnancy and well being, Ize-the crown prince would be willing to act like a little kid for you. He would occasionally brew you a cup of tea that you enjoy or give you a handmade gift, such as an embroidered handkerchief, to show you that he was thinking of you and that said skill you taught him when he was a child. Knowing the child, this kind of acts is for him appease the worries you have;he is different behind closed doors of your confined palace where your eyes and ears can't reach; your crown prince son is a different person who will be willing to shed the blood of others just for you.
And it seems that the morals that you taught him must have been thrown out of the window thanks to your husband.
So here you are after escaping from the hundreds gazes of a watchful loyal hounds around your palace you escape, it wasn't easy since you are carrying the emperor's second child. You heard on a passing by servants that the two tyrants had a meeting with the other nobles and the neighboring kingdom, this is a rare occurrence that the two left you alone. It took you an hour to escape the royal grounds before exploring around the town till you found a port that would take you to another country. This is your only chance to escape that suffocating palace that those two tyrants confined you in. Your Husband, Yuri can't leave you alone not when he found out that you are with his child-a second child at that. Even before you were pregnant with his first child, his wary gaze and infantilization to you had multiplied tenfold.
Your husband spread the rumors about you being mentally ill. But why would he do such a thing? You reflected to yourself and it devastate you to realize it was his scheme to prevent you from seeking help from his subjects to escape. Only the royal physician and your husband were aware of this bogus illness. It felt betrayal that he has to make that action so he can confide you more.
Your husband's scheme worked. Even your own son believed the spewing lies coming from his father, and the nobles never gossip about you as if it was a taboo ever since you were married to the emperor. Speaking ill about the emperor's consort was just as good as the reaper visiting you by the second you speak those words. Only praises coming from their filthy mouths were allowed.
No one bats an eye on you, even the servants who serves under you. They will bathe you, serve you food, refreshments, but none of them will engage or start a conversation with you. When someone last made an effort to assist your escape, a kind servant at that. The lowest mining pit, which is worse than death, The emperor bestowed upon them to be sent the servant's family, including the said servant. High ranked criminals labour in a pit there for 18 hours with a maximum 4 hour break the rest of the hour are for necessities like sleeping, with much less food and income. In short, a death torture for them.
You implore your husband to kill them rather than send them there, the only thing he said to you that it wasn't your fault they were sent there. Something along the lines of—"you were acting like this because of your condition. That servant was attempting to kill you." He told you that in front of other servants. Everyone compliments his action for 'protecting' you. His cunning red eyes looks at you that none of the servants and nobles noticed but you did. It was a warning for you to behave or he will do worse.
Yuri has never harmed you, physically. but he will harm others who want to separate you from him.
The only time you regret your decision is when you met Yuri—he was about to meet his demise by the hands of his brothers if it weren't for you stumbling to see him in the middle of the night on an alleyway of the tsvetok village struggling to breathe from the deep pools of his own blood. So you drag his half dead body into your abandoned chamber—which is rarely visited by servants—that your father bestowed for you when you were born. Aiding his deep wounds, helping him heal up, befriending him, falling in love—
You purse your lips and gave a small wince feeling your belly is starting to ache, the kick from your unborn child thumps under your long dress.
My child please, Now is not the time! you gently brush your belly soothingly before leaning on the lamp post that dimly lit the night. You sigh in relief when you felt the baby inside of you cease on kicking. Although you were a little further from the palace when you looked behind you, you still needed to move quickly. Right now, you assume that Yuri or a servant that was suppose to serve you had definitely find out that you were gone this afternoon and notify the knights and some of high ranking mage to find you immediately, but the sun had already been sunk by the evening. They must have been having a hard time finding you. A little more 18 minute walk and you'll be able to ride on the ship that will help you travel to another empire, or any nation.
"ort---s--ing!" you turn to your left to look one of the vendors of the nights were gossiping. A woman with her husband was panting, assuming he was running to deliver a news to his family. His cloth headband on his raggedy hair is soaking. He took a deep breath before repeating what he said earlier. A dread of fear rise from your throat as he uttered his next words,
"The Emperor's Consort is missing! The Emperor's knights are blocking all way out!"
You heart felt like dropping when you saw a nearby knight were looking one by one at the women nearby, specifically women who are similarly pregnant like you. Speaking of the devil, they are already here!
Knights in horses, mages running around the busy street. Some of them stopping women who has similar hair color as you to assess if they found the right person.
"Oh my! I'm hoping the consort is doing okay! She must have acted such way due to her failing mental state. The emperor must have been worried sick, I can't imagine the devastion look of the emperor especially their son!" said the woman to her husband.
You hid your hair with your cape and quickly blend in with the busy road of the night town. Muttering, "excuse me!", "Apologize!" As you force your way around the crowd. One arm around your belly to protect child, while your hand went to sling your bag with clothes and some gold coins. as you bump so many people on the crowd. You look edges of the town, at the gate, to see all the possible exits were starting to get block by the imperials knights and mages. You bit your lips frustration as you felt the hope of getting your freedom back is slipping away from your grasp.
Your plan of getting to the port has been discarded after seeing a two mage and three knights were on their way there. Even if you did go in town's gate the gatekeepers will inspect people who are exiting and entering.
But...
You look at the old man who was riding a donkey with his carriage towards to exit of the gate, fruits were laying under the cloth. An Idea quickly pop your head but you are desperate to leave this suffocating country so you have no choice but to execute it.
Your silent foot falls went behind on a slow moving carriage before climbing up silently and quickly, in your haste and desperation movement, you didn't feel as though you had torn your cape at the wooden edge of the carriage before taking the fabric that was covering the fruits that keeps them from dust and dirt. You carried a handful of fruits before slowly sitting down beside it then covering yourself with the said fabric and the remaining fruit fast enough before the knights from the gate of this region would notice you. You wince when one of the fruit hit your belly but not enough to endanger the baby.
"Have you seen this lady?" A man in his mid 60s look at the paper, he squint his eyes as he held his old lightly crack glasses to take a better look. Your (e/c) eyes look at the gapping hole of the carriage and gulp fearfully when you saw your portrait on the paper holding by the imperial knight.
"O-oh...sa-aw her!" you held your breath when the old man spoke. The two knights look at each other before listening to the next word of what the old man would say.
He lick his dry lips before continuing, his voice's struggling due to his old age, "If I-Im..not mistake-en the lady in the p-picture look like the lady I saw by the lampost o..on the rozahk street!"
You exhaled in relief since you mistakenly believed that the elderly man had just seen you, but he actually noticed you five minutes' walk from the gate to roza street. However, this would also let them know that you are actually close by.
The imperial knights gave the elderly merchant a nod as they hastily walked around the city, alerting a nearby mage to use a spell to track you. They quickly tell their subordinates for a new command.
You felt the carriage starts to move. Hugging yourself for reassurance especially at your upcoming baby that everything will be okay.
You weren't escaping just for yourself but for your second child that will be born. You don't want your kid to become like their older brother and learn from their father. Ruthless, and doesn't have a compassion to another human. You want your kid to have a brighter future, away from the blood shed. You hope that if you got caught or killed by your husband in the future. You will tell your second child to run away and never look back, when you are gone.
You ignored how uncomfortable it was to sleep in the fruits. You close your eyes and see the farm neighborhood that the carriage passed as well as the slowly dissipating kingdom that was beginning to appear as a dot on the horizon.
The abrupt shake of your ride woken you up. You hear noises outside the carriage and glance through the hole to see that light was creeping through, signaling that it was dawn but sun has yet to come in the horizon. What is happening?. You peek above the cloth seeing that you don't have enough visual on what's happening. A dusty road lay in front of you, and woods surrounded you. You turn around to look behind you and realize that the palace is no longer in sight. A sense of relief that you were indeed far from that prison.
A bunch of voices caught your ears, you turned to look to your right.
Your whole body went pale.
Your son-the crown prince was chatting with each of the roadside merchants who had just exited from their vehicle not far from where you were. The imperial warriors and mages that were conversing with the other sellers the same task as your son was doing just behind him.
You curse yourself, how did they come here to fast?
You need to leave before they notice that you are inside this carriage. Just as you swiftly escape your imprisonment. You carefully stood up, removing the fabric that was covering you and the fruits, ignoring the woozy and aches from your muscle pain for not moving too much from the entire night.
A creak was heard in your vehicle when you tried to climb down. Snapping your eyes back at them, to witness if they heard the mistake you made. To your relief, The prince and the other guards were still busy interrogating.
They didn't hear me..
You reach down and starts to stalk away from them, your hands were trembling. Stepping back to reach the wood just a 5 meters behind you. It didn't matter if you get lost in the woods, as long as they don't catch you.
No, you would rather live in a woods, in a forest where no one can reach you.
As you step forward carefully in to the woods, you didn't notice from your cautious and anxious state that your boots crack a twig, just like the cliché you previously read. The nearest knight snaps his head at the sound. He was perplexed before realizing that the woman from the paper in his hand resembles you.
"Her majes-"
You dash toward the woods. The imperial knights sought to catch up to you, as you heard him behind. You grab a nearby rock and shot it directly to his skull, and it hits him.
You ignored the yelp as he yells your honorific causing the nearby knights hear him and went for his aid, before they realize what he was yelling and starts to chase after you.
You felt the dress that was getting stuck on some of bushes and dried branches, resulting to have your dress to be ripped.
Heartbeat were thumping agressively, adrenaline were rushing around your body. One of your hands went up to your belly protecting it from getting injured despite your legs were now full of scratches and bruises from the twigs, and sharp edges of these woods. You feel your legs ache.
"Mother!" You faintly hear a galloping horses along with your son's voice behind you.
Your mistake was to look behind you while running away. You saw how your son and his guards were starting to gain just to bring you back to that hellhole. Your son Ize was reaching up his hand to take you back, his red orbs were full of concern and anxiousness.
"Mother! It's me,Ize! Please, slow down you will hurt yourself!"he yelled."Mother! Think about my sibling! Your child! Listen to me! Don't let this illness take over you!"
Poor child, he thought all of this nonsense that you are doing was because of your bogus illness.
You were about to stop when you saw a nearby cliff but a trunk made you tripped.
You screamed feeling a misstep when you realized you are falling, instinctively cradling your pregnant belly, protecting it as you roll down from the ground. A piercing scream was heard—from your son. Your head colliding to the three and it felt like your head would split open.
Your eyes were blurry from the impact. Touching your belly if there was injury. Atleast trying to feel your lower part if there was bleeding through your thighs other than your legs.
You look up at the steep cliff to see your son was sliding down, crying out your title as his mother. You saw his red orbs were full of tears as it glides down to his cheeks. The last thing you saw before your vision was consumed by the darkness was his hands reaching up to your head.
You were awoken by the sound of the chirping birds coming from the balcony.
You coughed, feeling the dryness from your throat. You eyes were blurry for a few minutes before clearing to see that you were back to the same imprisonment.
But....
It wasn't the same room you shared with your husband. Are you...even in the palace?
You took your time to assess your surroundings only to realize that the room has similarities of the royalties room that are exiled but it looked renovated, one of your husband's brothers used to live here before taking his own life. You felt grim about the thought of it.
After his brother's passing you heard from one of the maids that he turned it into a vacation palace for royalties.
It was different from the last time you saw it. It was much more cleaner and better. It looked good after it was renovated.
Wait, the baby.
THE BABY!
You eyes quickly gaze down to your belly. Hands quickly feeling around them, you exhale in relief when you felt a small kick from your stomach. You felt your tears at the edge of your eyes. It was a miracle that the heavens hadn't take your unborn child away.
I'm sorry baby...
They would have died from the stupidity you'd done!
You laid down to your right side of the bed and cradle in your stomach muttering a soft apologies and starts fluttering your eyes to go back to sleep.
But somethings not right. You felt like a pair of eyes watching you, looking at you.
Observing you.
You opened your eyes and look up only to see your pair of red eyes staring down at you.
Your husband, the emperor sitting on a wingback couch, his face resting at his hand while the elbow is resting at the arm of the couch beside him is a kettle with a cup that rest on top of the bedside table.
You feel your body tense up, you tried to get up and turn to look at your husband.
"Y-your majesty." You called but it sounded like a whisper. You don't know what he will do to you. Sure, he never hurt you physically but this is the first time you'd gotten far away from the place he imprison you in.
You gulped, will he hurt you this time?
"I-I'm... I.." you cannot come up a word,an excuse, what if he gets sick of you? What would happen to your child?
You felt your breath shorten. Tears are starting to swell up in your cheeks.
A rough hand brush on your cheeks before cupping it. You found your partner is already beside you on the bed.
He didn't speak he just let you weep as he brush away your tears. You stammer your words wanting to apologize. The emperor handed you a cup of water and you took it quenching the thirst from your larynx.
Once you drank it all, you hiccup trying to stop your tears from coming out. You felt his hands caressing your belly. "H-husband.."you gulped.
"hush,��илашка."he commanded and you held your tongue and closed your eyes when he leans on your cheeks before engulfing you with his arms around you. You felt suffocating around him like a snake coiling around your body.
You feel tensed as he starts peppering kisses on your shoulders and neck before resting his lips to your earlobes, you shudder when he kissed it.
His right hand from your waist slid up under your loose sleeve before sliding it down, your emperor leaned down giving your shoulder a hickey. You whimpered trying to push him away but he hadn't budge an inch. Once he was satisfied he let your skin go with a pop before looking at the red mark he left.
The same hand went to brush your hair, tuck it behind your ear before leaning his forehead against yours. His red eyes held adoration, affection, but most of all obsession.
"милашка." He muttered closing his eyes sighing, he brush his lips against yours before deepening it.
He kept calling you, held you in his arms gently. The same arms that has full of blood that slay so many heads to get to the top of this food chain.
He laid you down before kissing every finger tips of yours and then clasping it with his rough hands as he called for you.
"милашка...."
".... my милашка..."
He pressed one kiss on your collarbone. "None of this is your fault..." He told you.
"... This illness will be the death of you."
Your heart broke for him. He really delude himself that everything you did to get away from him was because of your 'illness'.
"... Everything will be fine, darling. I will take care of you." He dampened his lips one last time onto your lips before leaving you in your new confinement.
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catsharkie · 11 months ago
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what if ds9 had tumble
capsisko
the wormhole :) 
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i-identify-starships-in-posts follow
klingon bird of prey, cloaked.
capsisko
?
(2373 notes)
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skrainfanboy5997notdukat follow
Gul Dukat did nothing wrong.
wormzallday
f
juuuuulian
u
(9208 notes)
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miles-edward-obrien
I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.
(0 notes)
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ziyart 
STATUS UPDATE, I WON THE ART COMPETITION! 
#THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE IN THE COMPETITION!
(9 notes)
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kiranerys
If another thing breaks on this station i swear to the prophets
kiranerys 
the replicator just sent someone to the infirmary. our doctor is running on negative 60 hours of sleep at least
kiranerys
i just want a raktajino
kiranerys
@miles-edward-obrien get your ass in here
(23 notes)
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sponsored 
come to quarks, quarks is fun, come right now, don’t walk, run!
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miles-edward-obrien
I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.
(0 notes)
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juuuuulian
no sleep for 55 hours and counting!
juuuuulian
56 hours and counting!
juuuuulian
57 hours!
juuuuulian
where is miles
wormzallday
julian please
(7 notes)
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n0gg
ah yes. me. my bestie. and his 50k word fanfic draft.
jakeosaurus
YOU asked ME if you could beta
n0gg
its funnier if i blame you
#lol
(93 notes)
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juuuuulian
no sleep for 55 hours and counting!
juuuuulian
56 hours and counting!
juuuuulian
57 hours!
juuuuulian
where is miles
(7 notes)
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ziyart
MY FRIENDS TOLD ME I CAN TYPE IN ALL CAPS!
# IM NEVER GOING TO TALK IN LOWERCASE EVER AGAIN!
(3 notes)
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miles-edward-obrien
I thought I had work today, but no, the time loop.
(0 notes)
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garaksclothiers
So many accusations in my inbox! You people certainly are creative.
odododo
I know you’ve killed before. You’ve barely tried to hide it
garaksclothiers
Oh? You hate me and my whimsy?
odododo 
I’m going to make a callout document on you.
(12 notes)
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jakeosaurus
if the voles had subspace i think it would look like this
skittering-002
i love being in conduits undisturbed
pittering-pattering follow
I CAST PLASMA BEAM 10000 DEATHS
skittering-002
AHHHHH
(201 tiny notes)
the-scuttler
scuttling
the scuttler
easy website
(10032 tiny notes)
n0gg
the station is under attack stop vole blogging
jakeosaurus
do you think skittering-002 and pittering-pattering were in love
(38 notes)
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deepspacenineofficial
Apologies for the high pitched whining! Our shields are activated, we are currently under attack. There is also an ion storm passing through.
miles-edward-obrien
If I get stuck in a time vortex again I swear to god
miles-edward-obrien
FUCK
(203 notes)
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deepspacenineofficial
Apologies for the high pitched whining! Our shields are activated, we are currently under attack. There is also an ion storm passing through.
miles-edward-obrien
If I get stuck in a time vortex again I swear to god
(203 notes)
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jakeosaurus
if the voles had subspace i think it would look like this
skittering-002
i love being in conduits undisturbed
pittering-pattering follow
I CAST PLASMA BEAM 10000 DEATHS
skittering-002
AHHHHH
(201 tiny notes)
the-scuttler
scuttling
the scuttler
easy website
(10032 tiny notes)
(38 notes)
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n0gg
wormzallday
i really wish women were real
(1348 notes)
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kiranerys
guldukat follow
#YES
(1024766 notes)
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genderqueerdykes · 1 month ago
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is it entirely possible for me to want to, like, identify as cis AND trans ? for context I was born female, but I'm a transman .. To put it simply .. And I have an odd and confusing relationship with my womanhood, but it feels right in a way to say I'm a transman but also transfem ?? Buf like, cis trans man and transfem. Does this, work ?? I could probably ramble for hours about why I want to use both these labels. But I'm not sure if it'd be, disrespectful ?? misusing the terms ?? Just plain odd ??
Your blog is incredibly informative and your answers are as well so, yeah. can I use the labels transman and transfem.
yes! this absolutely works!!!!!
you are the type of person i've made a ton of posts about and i hope you don't mind if i'm kinda long winded here because i've been begging people to understand folks like you exist for weeks now and people just keep calling me transmisogynistic and it's absurd, i had no idea so many people didn't know your identity existed. here are some of the posts i've made about bigender cis men/transfems:
there is a long, long history of people who identify as cis men and a trans woman or transfem person. this is so common it's unreal. back in the 50's and 60's a lot of drag queens had this exact relationship with gender- sometimes presenting as cis men, or maybe still presenting as femme but being men. there were femme gays hanging out at the drag bars flirting with men and lesbians- identifying as femmes and men. there were drag balls held by people who had this exact relationship with gender going on around the time. you can read about a lot of these people in leslie feinberg's works actually!
the thing is is being cis doesn't cancel out being trans. bigenderism is complicated. if someone wants to consider both of their identities trans, they can. if someone wants to consider themselves cis and trans, they can! you are not in the wrong for being this gender! i've met so many people in your shoes! i lived with a lot of transfems for a while and a lot of them were cis men and trans women at the same time! a lot of trans women still feel like cis men, especially gay men. that's totally fine!
im really glad you took the time to send this ask because this is what i mean when i say that it's not okay to shit on cis men in the queer community or in general because cis men *can be queer*. you can be a cis man and a trans woman or any other number of genders at the same time and it doesn't not invalidate your transness! they don't have to cancel each other out, they exist at the same time independently of one another and it's a beautiful thing!
if you'd like to talk about it, please feel encouraged to do so! i've been trying to get people to understand people like you are out there and to not be shitty to people who are or read as cis men. it's okay to be a cis man and another queer identity! i think you rock! there are a ton of bigender cis men/transfems out there! you are not alone!
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ceilidho · 6 months ago
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This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol
first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.
i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.
second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.
one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.
and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!
additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.
plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).
there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!
i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.
and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.
and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.
as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.
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kinardsboy · 6 months ago
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Prefacing this by saying i don’t hate Eddie or buddie in any way, im only tagging this as anti buddie so people can filter out criticism on a ship that they enjoy ❤️
This post doesnt really have a specific theme, I’m just kinda rambling here so bear with me lol
Something that has been bothering me for a while about the gay eddie hc, is that at least the canon basis/evidence for it, is honestly a little homophobic? Most often people claim he’s gay because of how he treats women poorly and how many failed relationships he’s been in and I just.. first off have you MET a straight man?? 😭 thats how they are..(For the most part). Secondly it’s a negative stereotype that gay men dont treat women well, so having that be one of your main points to make Eddie gay rubs me the wrong way, especially when it comes from non queer men. The other main point I see is the quote “it feels like a performance” but the thing about that quote is , its taken extremely out of context.
He was literally talking about being set up on dates, being FORCED to date instead of letting it happen naturally. Thats what feels like a performance.
I have never understood why Eddie also cant be bisexual if queer at all. he has been clearly shown to enjoy having sex with women.
And another thing that bothers me is that buddie fans shout all the time about wanting whats best for Buck, and then want him shoved in a relationship with a man that has never treated a romantic partner fairly. Again, this isnt Eddie hate but the guy needs serious therapy. He’s a good friend and a good dad, ultimately hes a good person too but he’s not a good partner and that wouldnt change just because he dates Buck.
Bob’s are constantly forcing a heteronormative role onto Buck, especially when it comes to taking care of Christopher and it just, thats not going to solve anything? Like at all? It really makes me feel like they dont understand mlm relationships at all, and what they look like and how they work, especially based on their reactions to how Tommy and Buck interact.
People probably arent going to like this take, but I see fics or posts that constantly put Christopher as Buck’s 1 priority and I just dont think its true. Dont get me wrong I really enjoy the relationship they have, but if any kid on the show has his highest priority, its Jee. Buck spends so much time with Chris because Eddie needs help, if Henren needed help or babysitting more often Buck would seem close to Denny and Mara as well. Im not saying Buck doesnt care or want to hang out with Chris of course, but I feel like people definitely overplay their relationship to an extreme extent. The same goes for buddie in general, especially these last few seasons I dont see buck and Eddie being any closer than eddie and hen or buck and hen or something. Especially considering in 704 Eddie literally didnt invite him to trivia which he knows (or should know) Buck likes lol
And another thing about Christopher is that they turn him into this buddie love child who is SO obsessed with his dad’s sexuality and its just so weird to me. They completely strip him of any independence and personality and turn him into this buddie advocate, and then put him away when he’s no longer useful or needed. Its ableism. Chris is his own character and his story shouldnt focus around Buddie or his dads romantic endeavors AT ALL.
Anyway if you read all of this thanks for indulging my rambling lol
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partycatty · 1 year ago
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dark star!johnny cage > against the world
what it's like dating the evil version of hollywood's golden boy. it's not all fun and games, even if that's how he sees it
warnings: lowkey abusive relationship like just straight up. yandere. lil smutty but nothing horrifically graphic.
notes: listened to "wrap me in plastic" and "watch me work" while writing LMFAO also please god the coat stays ON ‼️‼️‼️‼️ hes so scrummy i need him biblically
masterlist <3
part 2* / part 3* / part 4* / part 5* / part 6*
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•first of all, dark star!johnny is so incredibly emotionally immature. he's a whiny bastard fr. hell hath no fury like a white man that's in the wrong during an argument with his girlfriend
•"baaaabe what's wrong?? it was just a joke!" after he says you're a 6/10 compared to a model on his phone. ZERO awareness.
•WALL PUNCHER. IM JUST BEING HONEST. your beautiful pale pink walls have so many shoulder-height white patches from you having to fix the wall every time his water has an inadequate amount of cucumber slices.
•he's got the same upbringing as the better johnny, shitty dad and dead mom. he just never really knew how to cope with it. equally as famous as his counterpart, he prefers throwing punches in action flicks. he's just somehow more of a dick about it.
•pampered to holy hell between shots, all relaxed in his chair with his name embroidered on it while one woman tends to his makeup, another to his hair, a third feeding him water. it's how he wants it to be, he needs to be perfect. he is perfect.
•spends like two hours getting ready, most of the time is spent on his hair. you tell him it'd be more efficient to trim it down a couple inches but he likes the way it flops over. you also like the way it falls in front of his face during his stunts. he's just so effortlessly sexy.
•uses his height and physique to his advantage. he loves backing you into corners and looming above you menacingly to watch you squirm, flustered. his large sunglasses reflect your pathetic little face.
��now with you, he loves to show you off, but not enough for you to steal the spotlight. you're his favorite little accessory that hangs off his arm. he chooses your outfits when you make public appearances. INSISTS on matching all the time. misty blue dress with gold jewelry to match his obnoxiously large coat.
•the good johnny plays things up for the camera and saves the sweetness for behind closed doors. dark star!johnny doesn't know when to turn off "camera mode." bro will not be sweet with you unless it gets him brownie points after he fucks up.
•he's so unfair. women fawn over him constantly and he smiles all smugly and leans into their touches. but if a man so much as looks at you for more than a couple seconds, he's beating the guy in moments.
•hates it when you find joy in other people. he will constantly fill you with thoughts that everyone will leave you one day for one reason or another, and that you should feel lucky that a world famous actor wants you.
•will make you turn against people you hold dear, he cuts them out of your life so they can't influence you like he does. this man is a smooth talker and hardcore manipulator that'll leave you anxious when you talk to anyone but him. he has you thinking everyone's out to get you.
•"come on baby, you really think they'd love you like i do? don't be delusional. it's just you and me against the world, you got it?"
•you guys have had so many public scandals, you're the main source of income for the TMZ employees.
•sex tape here, public screaming match there
•speaking of which this dude FUCKS. HARD. :3
•johnny will literally pound you into oblivion whenever he pleases. he prefers doggystyle so he can use your hair as leverage. sometimes he reaches forward and holds your jaw, chest pressed against your back as he mercilessly fucks you. he totally gets himself off on your pathetic moans.
•records it every time. partially to jerk off to later, partially as leverage against you.
•"you like that?" he'll ask in that low growl, somehow hitting even deeper. "nobody can fuck you like i do. so don't even fucking think about leaving - ngh -"
•after an argument, you'll find gorgeous purses or necklaces on your shared vanity. not because he's sorry, but because he knows you'll forget about how annoying he can be when he shells out a couple thousand on a gift for you.
•you could honestly probably do better, but who's gonna say no to johnny cage?
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larsthefishoil · 1 year ago
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As I'm actively reflecting on the new hbomberguy video, but more specifically James Somerton, certain things are clicking into place with resounding clarity.
I've watched Somerton's videos for years. At first I thought he was kinda overly dramatic, and had outdated stances on how little lgbtq+ was seen in modern day. He always seemed to talk like we are still living in the danger of the 80s with staight/cis people's apathy and hatred. In truth the phobias have just shifted in how they present and things have genuinely improved in a sense.
But the thing that is actually getting to me rn is the misogyny thing. I think he actually injected really shitty thoughts into my brain that I absorbed like a fucking kitchen sponge. He's protectiveness over queer people but specifically gay men from "prevented white women" actually got to me. For over a year, I was walking around occasionally thinking about how "women are sneaking BL manga into their bedrooms and grotesquely drooling."- im not citing someone theres quoteation marks cause its a dumb thought. But i thought this because that's how bad Somerton made it seem.
But the thing that got me out of that head space was this video by talistheintrovert.
https://youtube.com/@talistheintrovert?si=vmpEa_TPP2UE9eQk - here's the link to her homepage on YouTube.
https://youtu.be/08pCrSBw5EY?si=bECaT_xC16IfN5TI - vid about Good Omens
https://youtu.be/zzSlRZhS_qY?si=unQzSbCQUaTqhSbv - Heartstopper vs. Only Friends
sorry for the ugly link I'm on mobile.
I forget their pronouns so I'm using they/them but I might be wrong. I watched a lot of their videos all at once, so a lot of their ideas interlinked between videos to connect points. But they frequently talked about how straight and queer people interact with queer media and the complexities that unfold. Their underlying message was always that an individual's sexuality doesn't matter when interacting with media when it comes to gatekeeping who gets to appreciate queer content. Still most people consuming are queer people, but straight cis people also benefit and that's okay, it's great even.
Talistheintrovert shooed away icky feelings of straight women fetishizing queer men, which was a fear I got from James Somerton!
Idk this is a long post, but hbomberguy's ending soliloquy about trying to find happiness kinda reminds me of the many countless queer YouTube channels- big and small. Most of us aren't clawing for the position of top dog and like Somerton and seem a lot happier dispit of everything going on nowadays.
Anyways, stay safe, be accepting, and cite your sources or else hbomberguy will have to crawl out of whatever hole he hides in for the better part of each year and make a five hour long video about you :/
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paper-mario-wiki · 4 months ago
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i have now watched all of what has been animated of Overlord, here is my review:
okay i'll watch the fifth season but if Renner doesn't act like a fucking freak openly on-screen in at least half of the episodes im gonna be pissed. to be quite frank, and quite self indulgent, there are SO few yandere women that are given proper screentime these days-- and that's in manga AND anime. why is nobody brave enough to go full yuno gasai? what's wrong with these people? have they forgotten one of the core dere archetypes? my god. the only time girls get to act crazy on screen in anime is when they're an abusive guardian, a power ranger tier villain, or traumatized into helplessness. i want to watch someone whose derangement gives her power and i dunno, maybe she wields them selfishly for the one she loves! and that SEEMS like it's whats been promised to me in the 5th season, but ive been wrong before!!! theyve strung me along with the promise of seeing her do some real insane shit with no more than 6ish minutes spread thin over the 1248 minutes of animation the show's runtime has been composed of thus far. but god dammit. im still gonna watch.
anyway, everything else was pretty cool too, at least enough to keep me interested in the meantime. the animation was pretty bad for most of it. but the writing, voice acting, and overall direction were able to keep the story enjoyable despite that. to compare it to another isekai with a similar premise, though executed very differently; the politics are more interesting in this show than in Slime Show, but Slime Show's world feels more consistent, and the events contained within more justified, where Overlord does ass-pulls often. but i like this world too. i like these characters. i like how complicated they are. much of it is very edgy, and it's chock-full of what i'd call "anime bullshit", but that's a seinen story for ya.
my ratings for the seasons are as follows
6/10
7/10
6/10
7/10
Overall verdict:
this show is hard carried by its sprawling cast of deeply insane women, and god dammit they carried my girl-loving ass through 52 episodes. and probably 13-26 more depending on whether or not the studio really does end up wrapping up the story in the next season. due to the shamelessness of this shows content, i don't know that i can think of many people who i would recommend it to without feeling embarrassed about it. HOWEVER. if you're the kind of person who kept reading this because of the multiple mentions of really, really insane women, and that was enough to get you to read this whole thing, you'll like this show. i mean. as long as you can tolerate all of the *blech* Heterosexuality.
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oswalish · 3 months ago
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rahhhh random rant because i’m angry hater mood i HATE HATE HATE people who think miss goldberg did anything to marvin. saw someone go “set those sails is a villain song and people need to accept miss goldberg is a bad person” i’m screaming and crying and clawing at the walls you don’t fucking understand it you don’t understand the goddamn musical.
in trousers is at its core about misogyny, that is its core theme, which is shown by how marvin hurts the women in his life, specifically his wife, his sweetheart, and miss goldberg. it would conflict the themes and narrative if miss goldberg hurt marvin, as this would diminish what marvin does to the other women. marvin does come up with excuses for his actions/ tries to garner sympathy in the musical (im talking 1979 vers here, i’m not as well versed on the 1985) he is immediately hit with trina shutting him down with her telling us how his actions have hurt her more than they’ve hurt him.
another thing is that the women are mostly not themselves, but rather versions of themselves that exist in marvin’s head. this doesn’t apply to trina, as she is the only woman in the musical who tells her own story. for example, your lips and me and its reprise tell us very specifically events that are happening in her life and how she’s feeling, she also tells her about her past. she also addresses marvin directly in breakfast over sugar.
whereas his sweetheart and miss goldberg do not have songs like this. “my highschool sweetheart” doesn’t tell us anything about his sweetheart other than that she’s his sweetheart, she’s a person, and that she wants marvin to pay attention to her more. but there honestly isn’t much in the musical to confirm that she actually is a person at all, she insists her own existence but marvin never pays attention to her or even addresses her existence, in childhood or adulthood.
miss goldberg is interesting. she doesn’t play into marvin’s fantasy and feels like more of a real person than his sweetheart, having her own personality and opinions. she also sings i am wearing a hat where she seems to tell part of a story that could be her own, though it doesn’t really get more specific than “i’m wearing a hat, i am unloved”. she never quite seems to behave like a schoolteacher either, within the story she seems to be more of a narrator, likely due to her importance in marvin’s story. she is the biggest case of marvin insisting his heterosexually, while also forcing him to realise he is gay. she is not actually herself within the musical, the real miss goldberg is probably nothing like her. this is an internalised version of her than marvin came up with, though it’s more authentic feeling than his sweetheart since her role is to pull marvin out of his fantasies, since she’s probably the only way marvin can actually be honest with himself and recognise his actions.
many people bring up the lines “you might tell me you’re a victim, you might get what you deserve, but i won’t excuse, boy i cant excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve” which i will admit. do not sound great, incredibly suspicious even. but taken in the context that miss goldberg is not actually saying this to marvin, and actually it’s a version of miss goldberg that marvin has made up to make himself “behave properly” it starts to make sense.
marvin victimises himself a LOT. he’s self aware enough to recognise when he does wrong but tends to refuse to believe that it’s truly his fault, and that he’s the victim somehow. this is pretty obvious in falsettos but it’s also true in in trousers. he sings a lot of songs trying to portray himself as the victim, facing a lot of opposition from the women. this is shown in How Marvin Eats His Breakfast where he is sure that he’s in the right and is the victim because he’s not getting what he wants, and the women in the song directly oppose him by describing all the insane things he’s doing and even insulting him. it’s also shown in The Nausea Before the Game, where he’s lamenting about how his life is so hard, and how trying to live up to societies expectations is nauseating (this is a very simplified analysis of the song, i do actually thing marvin’s feelings in this song are valid but that’s an entirely different conversation). the song transitions into his wife singing about how she met him, how he ghosted her for weeks but then came back. that part of the song is much more tragic than marvin’s, essentially telling the listener that while his feelings are valid, he also seriously hurt and damaged this woman, and that that cannot be forgotten. the musical never ever lets us believe that marvin is the victim, despite his insistence.
and then every pony, is what i think the first line of that quote is referring to. how marvin is convinced that he is the victim, he is telling *himself* that. and the part of himself who knows that isn’t true manifests as miss goldberg to tell him that no, no you aren’t. no matter what marvin says, he will never be the victim, he is the one hurting others.
“you might get what you deserve” is slightly more difficult. i can’t really tell if it’s positive or negative. it could either refer to how he got what he deserved by being in a loveless marriage, or how he got what he deserved by leaving his wife and kids (and bird) to leave with whizzer. personally i think it’s the second, going with how marvin is convinced that he’s the victim, he’s convinced him leaving his wife for whizzer is what he deserves after going through so much. he thinks he deserves something good for once. and like yay bro for breaking out of your forced heterosexuality but did you have to destroy your wife’s entire life in the process? when i say marvin isn’t a victim i do mean in the context of the musical, marvin is very much a victim of society and heteronormativity, but he is NOT a victim of any of the women in the musical, which he likes to pretend he is. it’s easier to blame them than himself.
“but i won’t excuse, boy i can’t excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve.” much simpler to understand, the miss goldberg inside marvin’s head is very much the voice of outside influence, aka wider society, the one that expects him to conform. she can’t excuse him “loosing his nerve” by deciding to cheat on his wife with a man and run away with said nerve.
anyway i hope this yap session help y’all understand that marvin was never harmed by miss goldberg (nor do i think he did anything to her, other than probably be off putting and creepy like an average 14 year old is) i doubt anyone will see this but i loooooove talking about this stupid musical so ask questions please please please or else i’ll post 5 MILLION of these because i can’t stop thinking about this musical
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justauthoring · 4 months ago
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this is something that has been bothering me for a while and honestly, i doubt anyone will really care on here since tumblr isn’t the problem but im still gonna say something.
ive been apart of a lot of fandoms—i think that fact is clear by how many i write for—and almost every single one of them is toxic in some sort of way. unfortunately, that sort of thing just happens with fans and people who think they’re entitled to more than they are.
but i am absolutely disgusted to be apart of the cobra kai fandom. there are certain characters/actors that get leeway cause they’re “loved” and sure, that’s fine. you love a character? you have every right to defend them. and hey? you don’t like a character? that’s fine too.
but the actors are not the characters.
there are more actors than just this example but i think this one is the most important — mary mouser is not sam larusso and the comments made about her, her weight, the way she acts, talks, etc. are absolutely ridiculous and disgusting. 90% of the comments i see under instagram or tiktok posts from or about her contain things regarding her weight that are cruel and horrific.
it really puts a perspective on society and how it views women and i wish i could tell her that none of what is being said is true. here is a young women that is not only gorgeous but is incredibly fit and athletic (she’s on a show about karate for gods sake and does a good chunk of her own stunts) and has diabetes which affects her body beyond her control and she is being cyber bullied about how she looks.
and she’s not even overweight!! if she was, it would still be a huge issue but it bothers me how she’s a normal, healthy weight and being made fun of still.
did y’all forget the show started about victims standing up to their bullies??? about how wrong it was to be a bully?????
or about the fact that her cast mates, people you all claim to love and hype up, would be disgusted by your comments?? they’re her friends. i know for a fact ralph, billy, xolo, jacob, tanner, peyton (and more) are all absolutely disgusted by this fandom.
im just so upset by this. by people’s reactions to her and how they’ve treated her — a human being?! it was bad before but it’s reached a new low.
so let me just make this clear — if you in anyway think these comments regarding mary’s body, a women’s body, are funny or cool or anything of the sort you can just unfollow me. and do me a favour and comment so i can block you because it’s just disgusting.
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thyfleshc0nsumed · 6 months ago
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definitely ignore this if it doesnt interest you as a question but i'm wondering, you call yourself a butch , does that mean that you feel attraction only towards hard-line women? i'm interested because i've long felt a kinship with the butch identity and the promise that it makes to the individual and the community, but i'm not sure if i'd be considered a lesbian, per se. i don't see gender as a factor to be considered in my sexuality at all. for context im 19 and questioning my gender and sexuality after coming out of a 6 year relationship (11 months ago now, haven't dated since.) and i've been trying to get different peoples perspectives.
-modestmasc
Hi, thanks for the question.
Others may disagree but to me, being butch is an adjective first and an identity second. Frankly, I didn't choose to be butch just like I didn't choose to be CAMAB. I get to choose to embrace it, I get to choose to find it a meaningful experience, I get to choose to call myself butch, and I get to choose to love my experience being butch, but I don't get to choose to be or to not be whatever it is that "butch" is.
So, are you butch?
There's a phrase ive heard a couple hundred times over the last two years: "you're a member when you say you are." I like this phrase a lot. If you say you are, I don't get to doubt you. If you don't say so, I don't get to doubt you on that either.
So, are you butch?
We have such a beautiful variety of experiences, and such a wide variety of ways we talk about them. Many butch people relate butchness to "lesbian masculinity." Doesn't land for me, mostly on account of the 'masculinity' bit. To me, being butch is its own thing. I don't consider myself masculine in almost any way, I'm just butch, whatever that is. It's not so much that I think those who describe it like that are "wrong," it's just not been my experience.
The word 'lesbian' in there doesn't function to say "women who are only attracted to women, instead, it just means "women who are attracted to women." Even so, I personally would disagree with the premise that butchness is exclusive to gay people (I say gay as an umbrella term here), I mean I've met some butch ass heterosexual women.
Certainly as gay people, our experience of butchness is going to be different than that of a heterosexual, but like that's true for every facet of identity that can be paired with butchness. My experience as a young fat white bisexual TS butch woman is gonna be different than a middle aged able bodied Black person who's butch, and their experience is gonna be different than an elderly Puerto Rican butch lesbian. But no matter what, we're still all butch.
So, are you butch?
I consider myself bisexual. No fucking doubt I love men. Doesnt stop me from being butch.
So, are you butch?
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dreamwritersworld · 2 years ago
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Favorite crime. Final part (miles morales x reader)
before we get started I just want to say please send in requests! I’ll see if I can do them I love writing angsty stories! 💓 please read my little notes at the end just to see some of my thoughts throughout writing
When miles finally returned home..saved his dad, all was well in his universe. The only thing hurtful was instead of grieving for his father..they were grieving for her.
Y/n…
his partner in crime..
his willing accomplice..
his alibi..
his favorite singer..
his favorite person..
his lover..
Gwen was no longer someone he wished was there instead, all he wished for was Y/n. He forgave Gwen and everyone once again…but no once can replace Y/n. Not when she was the one who defended him and gave up everything for him.
Miles and Miguel settled their differences and Miles put in one last request that could never be accepted.
*
“Please! Just let me go back and save her! She can’t be happy there! I know it! Please..”
“Miles. You know I can’t! You fixed your timeline, you got your dad. She gave her life up for you and him! Just take it.”
“I can’t..it’s wrong! I just handed her away and I don’t even know what he’s doing to her?! I don’t know if she’s ok.”
Miguel couldn’t hear or handle talking gently to miles not when he was so persistent on something he knew couldn’t be fixed.
“Miles! Stop! Just stop! She wasn’t tied down to your universe! She had nothing there! Just your parents and you. She gave that up to save you and your dad. How many times do I have to say it?!”
“…please-“
“No! She doesn’t even remember you! She’s making her life there! She forgot all about you! I made sure Miles 42 didn’t remember you or his uncle! I fixed that. But y/n forgot you on her own..that wasn’t my doing.”
Miles broke down on his knees to this news…he couldn’t take it, not when she was always meant to be his.
“…let me see her..I won’t do anything just let me look at her..from a far.”
“Fine..but you have to promise you won’t even try to do anything. She’s healing that universe and that version of yourself. It’s only ok that she’s there because now they have a spider-women to fix and protect them. Don’t try anything kid.”
Miles agreed and opened a portal immediately to see Y/n…
*
when miles arrived..he went straight to his home..and there she was.
Y/n was cuddled up beside him giggling as she played with his curls, he had finally took out his braids listening to his girlfriends advice.
“Miles! Stop tickling me!”
Her sweet laughter was heard once again while miles picked her up and got off the bed twirling her around the room.
“Ahh! Im getting dizzy! Babe put me down!”
After awhile Miles did and both of them fell back onto the bed giggling and staring at the spinning ceiling.
A creak at the door caught their attention as Rio looked at them with a playful stern face.
“You two, always playing around! Cmon and eat, food’s ready!”
Both teens smiled at Rio as she walked away, silence was still between them
“….whoever gets there first gets to buy dinner tomorrow!…”
“Oh you know I won’t let you win princesa!”
Miles 1610 couldn’t help but witness everything in sorrow. Princesa was always his nickname for her…it all started when they were kids…
*flashback*
“…Y/n aren’t you grounded?”
Miles was so surprised to see his best friend at his front door.
“My parents didn’t even notice I left! My father is overreacting! How was I supposed to know they were arguing? I just walked in by accident and he got mad I saw them fighting.”
The little 8 year old had a lot of sass yet gentleness in her voice but Miles knew she was right.
“Well come in! Im here to save you!”
Y/n giggled at the silly statement
“I came here on my own! What are you pretending to be? My night and shining armor?”
“If that’s what you want princesa! I am here! And now we are going on a conquest to fight off bad guys!”
“Ok! Let’s fight! You and me! Together forever! ”
*
So it was true…she did forget Miles 1610. It didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, she cried and mourned for days but soon enough…she forgot why. Her brain has so traumatized that it just made everything a blur for her.
She learned to love Miles 42, that wasn’t hard for her. However it wasn’t an easy road..she had to guide him into giving up that life. He gave up being the prowler for her. Y/n was saving the world left and right and what made her the happiest was coming home to Rio and Miles. In many ways she healed herself and him.
Miles 1610 couldn’t believe it…he didn’t want to see it. If he were to leave right now, he’d be dragging his feet and dreading it…maybe just for a little while…just a little longer..he’ll stay.
It was truly bittersweet to think about the damage that they did..how they overcame it. In a way Y/n did everything just to call Miles her’s. And she’d do it all over again.
When they came back from eating Miles 1610 became invincible once again staring at them from the corner of his room.
“You knew I was gonna win and nowwww we’re going out to eat pizza tomorrow and I’m paying!”
“Ughhhh I hate you!”
Y/n didn’t mean it…she said it with a smile on her face.
“Yea right..you know you love me.”
“yea…I do.”
They shared a kiss and Y/n held the brightest smile.
“Mmh…right now I’m getting a spidey sense and it’s saying…go downstairs to get snacks! I’ll be right back! You stay here and pick out a movie! It should be quick!”
“Princesa you know i don’t want you going out by yourself-“
“Excuse meeeee! I’m spider-women! I got this! I’ll be right back and change into comfy clothes!”
Miles 42 changed into his regular comfortable clothes the one that Miles 1610 was wearing…a white t-shirt and grey sweats..perfect.
Miles 1610 followed Y/n outside and followed her to the tiny bodega down the street.
“Y/n! Here to get the regular? Or are you trying new snacks with miles!”
“Ehhh I was going to get regular but now that you say that I might try some new chips.”
Miles 1610 walked in right after her and Mr.Delmar greeted him as well taking him by surprise.
“Miles! You doing good?”
“huh? Oh- yea yea of course!”
Y/n turned around confused
“Miles? I thought I told you to pick the movie!”
Here it goes, miles was going to play along with it…he’d do anything to speak to her just for awhile.
“I did princesa! Just wanted to make sure you were ok!”
Y/n giggled and took his offering hand guiding him to pick their snacks. Miles had missed her for so long…missed her touch…her candy sweet scent..her voice.
“…what do you think about trying out blue takis? we usually always get the purple ones.”
Miles stared at her admiring all her features, taking her in and falling in love with her all over again.
“…miles?..babe come back to earth!”
He shakes his head yes and just agreed to whatever she wanted…he couldn’t resist not holding her closer any longer.
“I miss you.”
Y/n couldn’t be anymore confused then she was right then and there.
“babe! We’re with each other right now! What do you mean?”
It was affection like that, it made Y/n laugh right in his face..they had each other right? So what was up?
“I know but I just…I miss you all the time even when I’m with you, I love you.”
“I love you too..”
The two shared a kiss and walked up hand and hand at the register paying for their snacks and walking home.
When they approached the building miles knew he needed to leave..he gave her one last quick kiss and requested one last race with her.
“Whoever gets upstairs first wins!”
“What? Babe!”
Miles ran upstairs and went out the window in the hallway rushing his way into the room to watch Y/n and Miles 42 once again.
Y/n walked in out of breath, exhausted.
“Damn babe, going up the stairs..I just realized you always beat me at races..what movie are we watching?”
Miles 42 didn’t question what she had said considering he raced her earlier before dinner, he laughed at her exhaustion and pulled her into him to cuddle once again.
“I was thinking about fast and furious or something?”
“Our favorite movie? Shockerrrr! You know I’m always down to rewatch it mi amor!”
Miles 1610 sighed in jealousy. He now had envy for another version of his life…he wished he had her in every way. He missed her and he hoped that she was genuinely ok.
Y/n was meant to be his lover forever in his dimension but due to him telling her to go…he changed her path. Miles committed a crime…oh but she was his favorite crime. Since they didn’t talk for weeks and she took a walk by herself in attempts to heal her wounded heart…she got bit. When she gave herself up for him...Y/n opened a door to save the most broken version of Miles. They healed each other in that dimension but…Miles 1610 cried for nights thinking about Y/n…the girl who forever had his heart.
!❤️💙!
there was tiny parallels here! The way miles and Y/n still played around and got caught by Rio! Just like they did when they were kids! The way Miles 1610 watched Y/n from afar with Miles 42 having the same feelings and hurt she did when she saw him with Gwen! Then the whole thing with Miles calling her Princesa! If you haven’t noticed I kinda tried to coordinate the song with the story. Hope you loved it 🫶 stay safe
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