#NO SRS i have so many thoughts and feelings on this movie ok

[enbyblades]

my official rotb review:

okay

[quinintheclouds]

Hey, I just read your post on ADHD/EFDD and was just wondering if you have read any research articles on this and if you have, could you tell me which ones because it all sounds super interesting and I need to choose a topic for my psych lit review and I’m thinking about doing something to do with all the stigma around and misconceptions about different mental health disorders.. it’s totally okay if not tho, I know it’s a big ask, but thanks anyway

That sounds like such a great topic!!! I would be HONORED to help :D 

The first person I think of when discussing the term EFDD is Dr. Russell Barkley. He’s one of the leading ADHD experts, and has been a spearhead for studying executive dysfunction in people with ADHD for decades. Very much ahead of his time compared to the DSM. I’ve had his book “Taking Charge of Adult ADHD” recommended to me so many times, but have yet to read it.

Here’s some free stuff, though! 

[reblogs appreciated because Tumblr hates posts with links and I wanna make sure this anon sees it!]

I tried to include some short stuff and longer stuff, some articles, images, videos, and comic recs, so you can choose based on your current energy and focus level :) I’ve also bolded links and key points of each source if you like skimming. Let’s go!

...................................

Here’s an interesting article/study on EFDD! They found that “ADHD [is] associated with deficits in inhibition, managing one’s attention, self-directed speech and rule-following, self-motivation, and even self-awareness [...] ADHD therefore involves deficits in self-restraint, [...] selfsensing and imagery, self-control of emotion, and self-directed play for problem-solving.”

Thank you for motivating me to look up some articles, because I learned some new things, too! For instance, they assert that ADHD could also be called SRDD (Self-Regulation Deficit Disorder), but conclude the article by saying either SRDD or EFDD fits better than ADHD, and that the terms could be used interchangeably, because SR (self-regulation) and EF (executive function) are effectively talking about the same things. So his assertion is that even if the name ADHD never changes, it can still be scientifically classified as either of the other terms. I believe in recent years he’s preferred EFDD more and more.

[note that the above article/study is from 2011, back when we were on the DSM-IV, so a lot of research has been done since then]

...................................

If that article’s a bit wordy or you want something more visual and up-to-date, here’s a really detailed PowerPoint presentation used during the 2018 ADHD Symposium! It’s long but well-organized so you can just read the big headers or you can read all the bullet points explaining it. Keep in mind this was a lecture, so some of it probably made more sense in person. I’m glad I read this, because I realize the terminology I’ve used is slightly off: according to the Symposium, there aren’t “subtypes” of ADHD, but the different names (ADHD-PI, ADHD-PH, and ADHD-C) are really just used to show the prevalence of certain symptoms in that individual. So they’re all terms for ADHD, but “subtype” was poor word choice on my part. 

Oh! I just found a video of him giving a lecture in 2012 using many of the same PowerPoint slides! Here ya go! It’s a bit longer than the other videos I’ve linked below (13min), but it might make the slides easier to interpret :)

...................................

If you want a really short and basic overview, here’s a video explaining 5 main ways executive functions affect the brain and how they work differently in people with ADHD. [I put the video below as well if you wanna stay on tumblr] It’s from 2010, but it holds up. It only covers 5 big ones, so remember (if you can) that executive function affects EVERYTHING and the symptoms will affect everyone differently and at different levels. 

This is just the most basic overview and a good place to start:

...................................

Here’s one where he talks about our Time-Blindness! (below) I was going to pick a couple favorite quotes to give you an idea, but that’d wind up being a transcript of the whole video because HE GETS IT. This is from 2014, but I CANNOT recommend it enough!!! He mentions that ADHD doesn’t have a deficit of attention, but rather a deficit of intention. He describes us as having a near-sighted sense of time, and talks about deadlines, “laziness,” etc.

 ALSO he talks about how our brains DON’T CONNECT our knowledge to our performance (back of brain to front) like everyone else’s, so we have the same level of knowledge and intelligence, but can’t access and use it the way others can. This is why teaching skills and organization/memory/time-management tips isn’t helpful -- we can learn them, but our knowledge and action centers are separated, so actually doing them/sticking with them is just as hard as before. 

If you don’t watch the whole thing, at least skip to 3:29 cause that part’s really funny and relatable (ok the whole thing is relatable):

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And of course, I highly recommend the YouTube channel How to ADHD! I have a couple friends who work on it, and they REALLY know their stuff! (They’re the ones who taught me during a game night that RSD isn’t a real term and it should be called “rejection-sensitivity” as part of the emotional dysregulation umbrella) 

I went looking and found this video (below) has the BEST explanation of it that I’ve seen in such a concise, entertaining way. I hadn’t seen this one before, but it even covers some of the things I mentioned in that post your ask is about! Especially the Internal Restlessness that I mentioned as the true “hyperactivity” we all share; even though some of us also express outward hyperactivity, both presentations come from the same restlessness in our brains.

^^^This has some great examples, visuals, animations, and different ways of explaining and thinking about our symptoms! If you want more about this, the description has a bunch of links to their sources! Jessica and everyone else who works on this channel is great at making the videos watchable for people with ADHD (even if we have to rewind sometimes)

Here's Jessica's official Twitter @HowtoADHD! (I was today years old when I found out that she follows me)

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And if you want something REALLY short and simple, here’s a 2 minute animation comparing living with ADHD to trying to film a movie with a director who keeps falling asleep [below]

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If you like comics:

My favorite ADHD comic artists are: ADHD Alien [@ADHD_Alien on Twitter and @adhd-alien on Tumblr]; Dani Donovan [@danidonovan on Twitter and @danidonovan on Tumblr -- we’re somehow twitter mutuals and she is such a sweetheart. She has some really good infographics, too!!]; ADHD Bri [@AdhdBri on Twitter and @adhdbri on Tumblr]; and dreamadept [@yume_dango on Twitter and @yume-dango on Tumblr]

They’re all well-researched, funny, genuine, intelligent, insightful, talented artists who depict ADHD in a very accurate and relatable way. Go check ‘em out and support them! :D

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I’m gonna stop there for now, but PLEASE feel free to add on to this with other sources, questions, videos, thoughts, comic artists, etc.!!! Hope this helps someone out there!

[rangergranger11]

Headcanons (I promise these won’t make you cry)

Ok so on @eatyourdamnpears post there were a lot of headcanons, and I decided to put them all in one post, but just bear in mind, half of this is credit to @thedarkestcrew cuz she did some amazing HCs, and I’m by no means stealing hers, just putting it all in a better place.

- Liam sends packages to Ruby because he can't make a fool out of himself in person so it's the next best thing. 

-These packages include things like hand writing notes, stuffed animals, any ruby jewellery he finds, pictures of them on dates that he printed (he has matching pictures and keeps them under his bed)( Cole and Harry find them but it's too cute to tease him), and finally, videos to make her laugh

- He also keeps a menu from Ruby Tuesday, and LOADS of old CDs and rock band t shirts

-Cole and him borrow each others jackets all the time and it's not a problem because they live in the same house and they can just go over to the room next door, 

-But when ruby starts stealing Liam’s jackets that he stole from Cole? well now the Stewart house is missing 10 leather jackets and you can't just get them form the girl who lives a state away. So she has to send them back in the mail,

-keeps a few that smell like Liam because she can

-sometimes people are confused which Stewart brother Ruby is really dating. And the fact that they look like twins it adds to the confusion, and the Ruby and Cole literally love to watch people get so mixed up

-oh absolutely, they’ll walk in on ruby and Liam making out, but two second later see Cole smoothing Down her hair and calling her Gem, AND seeing her he friendly with Chubs and cleaning his glasses because her skirt has better fabric for it, AND seeing her joke around with Nico

-it becomes a bet to see who she's with

-Liam will give Ruby his jacket, but than Cole comes and notices it's his jacket and makes a joke about them dating, she just gives him the jacket because she'd rather wear lee'. bystanders are distraught

-  And then Clancy comes along and brags about how he kissed Ruby and then the people who bet are just like 'where. the. hell. did. clancy. frickin. gray. come. from???

-Ruby thinks most of the rumours are funny and will be really vague about who her boyfriend is. most of the time just seeing Ruby and Liam together will be enough for people to figure it out by how the are relaxed around each other and look lovingly at the other.

-But when she hears the Clancy rumour she shuts that down faster than Charles scarfs Down a pancake

- Also, Liam's mum and Harry have an ongoing bet about who Ruby is actually dating because it's just so confusing at this point. Grace is like 'are you blind???' and Harry Is like 'there's something with Cole, I swear!!' But eventually realised its Liam and gives in

- Grace thinks she’s dating Cole, because when she visited she hugged Cole first and than a minute later hugged Liam. Yes, she went out to the park with Liam but grace doesn't know that, also she spend 20 minutes in Coles room chatting. She thinks Liam just has a crush on her or something 

- Ruby's parents can't tell them apart for anything and made a rule of " announce who you are before talking" after Liam kissed Ruby on the cheek and her mom thought that was the same person who told someone to go-F themselves ten minutes ago and nearly faints. It takes them a while the even figure out there are two blond southern men that flirt with their daughter

 -Grace is always giving Liam encouraging mom advice like, 'there are always others' and 'you'll get there someday' and Liam is just like 'thanks, mom'

-Ruby's dad is just so tired of confusing Liam and Cole, he's like 'Stewart sr' and 'Stewart jr.' He tried to call them 'Ruby's boyfriend' and Ruby's friend, but Cole answered to both just for the fun of it

-Chubs does not think it's funny at all and spits out what he's drinking when he sees Cole look when her dad says ' Ruby's boyfriend'. almost strangles Ruby until he hears about it. 

-Vida thinks it's really funny but event breaks and tells everyone it's a joke the day after. she doesn't know how many more times she can see Liam pouting

-After the Cole fiasco is over. his parents wait about a week and try to get Liam with Ruby. it's a bunch of prep talks, buying new clothes, telling him how to not mess up. when the big date comes her kisses her as a hello and they feel betrayed

-When ruby’s dad says the jr, sr thing he has Harry looking too and now he just needs to have ruby in the room with him, whoever’s face gets softer Is Liam, the one who stands up to tease her about something is Cole

-One day they talk about it and their 70 percent sure it’s Cole because they think he’s more her type while Liam would be good for her. Anyways they see her making out with Liam and are shocked and think she’s cheating on Cole.

-Harry had to sit Cole down and explain that Ruby isn’t faithful and Cole is absolutely loving it. He’s eating it all up, goes along with it, calls ruby in-front of him and ‘breaks up with her’, she also thinks it’s hilarious because for crying out loud it’s been a few month into the new program and why not see how long they can keep going. I swear they have a whole plot on how they met, what line made them fall in love the, whole 9 yards. 

-Grams knows of course because she pulled her aside and threatened her to date Liam because he’s the poster ’ nice southern boy’. Liam does not enjoy his girl friend pretending to date his brother but she throws enough Liam flirting into the mix to make it even.

- when Cole ‘breaks up’ with her, they have a fully fledged fake argument, like ‘remember that time when we got ice cream and you told me you told me you loved me’ and ‘you never loved me!!’ And for Ruby this is easy, because let’s face it Ruby is a grade A liar (in a good way) and Cole should be a 5 star actor because he is so damn dramatic. 

-Harry is totally buying this, and in the end they confess to their parents that Ruby + Cole was never a thing, and Liam is just looking at his mum like ‘SEE, I TOLD YOU I WASN’T A TOTAL LOSER’ and poor Grace just bakes a bunch of things just to make it up to him, and they all have a laugh about it. 

-But it was getting to the point where Ruby’s parents asked Zu which one she was dating and she was like ‘I am not getting involves in this.’ and Cole is just giving her a discreet thumbs up for playing her part while she just rolls her eyes.

-Oh absolutely they get into it, everyone who knows their lying get popcorn and treat it like its a movie. Cole says something absolutely ridiculous like “ you can take my heart, and my dignity, but I’m taking back the popcorn I gave you that one time” and Ruby has to use all of her enegery to not burst out laughing. 

-Ruby can also fake cry quickly so she’s sobbing, and by the end schools her face within a second and wipes away to tears Cooly. Ruby’s mom can’t trust her after that. also still kinda doesnt belive she’s dating anyone because of the Cole thing. Liam comes over 5 times before she’s convinced that this isn’t another prank. Ruby tells her she’s going on a date Saturday and says “ ha ya alright I’m not falling for that again” and than on saturday spends 6 minutes looking around the house for her before calling her and realizing that she wasent kidding

-Vida definitely films the whole thing like it's some telenovela, while Chubs is rolling her eyes at her but Zu secretly loves the drama and her stupid family. And Rubiam parents mention this at their wedding as well like, Ruby's dad would be doing a speech 'today we are gathered for the union of my daughter and Cole- Liam, i meant Liam. Its definitely Liam. Right Ruby??'

-Cole shows up to Haven for a visit about to yell at Liam and Ruby for not inviting him sooner after Harry and Grace let the location slip

( I know cole being dead is one of the things that sparked haven being made on liams part, but let's just say the spark for haven was Ruby getting harassed and Liam not being able to see her like that and asking her to run away with him to the middle of no where. Good? Great)

-Cole is about to walk through the door before a kid puts a frog in his hand and another kid asks if he can beat the level on his game boy.

-he thinks it's really adorable and the kids start calling him Liam for a Few minutes so why not,

-anyways he sneezes in a lone hallway and lights something small on fire before quickly putting it out.

-Owen is coming out of his room but sees the panic in Coles eyes and says ' hey, I'm not one to judge' and walks back into his room.

-When Ruby gets home she stops and stares at him for a full minute like " that's..... not Liam????"

-he calls her gem and she can't decide between jumping a hug onto him or punching him.

-Liam gets home and the kids all do a double take like ' you changed shirts??? can got a hair cut????' before doing a double take between the two

-Loads of the kids gather around and start making daisy chains for Cole’s hair, and he freaking loves it.

-He’s surprisingly good with kids as they all hover around him asking questions, holding his hand and showing him random things and it warms Ruby’s heart so much

Again, credit to @thedarkestcrew for thinking all of this, and this post has been fun 

[the-acid-pear]

Tumblr is ready to kick me in the nuts, so to avoid that, regulatory second post of this dumb liveblog! Let's go-

Chapter 211

Oh that's an insane coincidence

I'm gonna lose my fucking shit

Yujiro's fucked up anatomy is so fucking funny

He's just built different y'all let him be :/

I like how he's talking alone

Chapter 212

Erect 😳 (sorry I'm 5)

It's been so long since i saw someone open a bottle normally lol

Hehe hairy. Reminds me of Garland in a way, i miss him.

God i would fucking die out of embarrassment if i was on Retsu's place 😐

4001 🥺

Utterly obsessed with mfs being able to recognize the real ppl in this manga lmao

Chapter 213

I don't know if that's a real proverb but if Retsu says it I'll buy it

GOD I LOVE THIS MAN AUGH

Get his ass Retsu 😍

Chapter 214

What is a "rule"? 🤨

I keep forgetting he's missing a leg, están todos mochos estos protagonistas

Retsu be looking like a wet puppy all of the sudden mf went 🥺

Haha i wish i could squish an arm like that ☺️

This is so damn boxing like YESSS this is how every boxing movie goes so true!!! 😍

Which makes the dramatism funny bc we know Retsu can kill

OYDIRAITWOUROYE

Someone in the comments mentioned how if feels like reading with friends and honestly that's so true 🥰

Chapter 215

I love how he has some fans already

RIGHT THESE MFS FIGHT FOR NO ONE AND FOR NOTHING JUST FOR HONOR

Yeah no if a guy like that appeared irl i too would cheer for him

Retsu is having a crisis did he really not know this was all a farse? Like dude, c'mon.

Retsu got up in this ring ready to kill lmao

IYSITITSTSIIT nahhh i trust Retsu ~

"so hairy... but so elegant."

I just realized i got the song inexplicable stuck in my head bc that was the name of the chapter lol

Chapter 216

God i love Retsu so much i have so much hope placed on him

I think Retsu has one of the best character developments in this entire franchise (at least judging by so far)

YESSSSSS KINGGG 😍😍😍

Chapter 217

God i was looking like 👁️👁️ until i realized that was a mouthguard

I just came from the hospital and I'm a bit out of the loop lol

King shit i think I'm super out of it but that was badass i think

Jgzuggdlityfoh the drivers face 😭

I wonder what he will do with 2 million dollars tho

Chapter 218

Bruh his hair got cut by thin air

Did his hair get longer?

Baki really became a "well done, son!" guy

This conversation feels so fucking weird

Oh no one understands shit in the comments either, fair

Chapter 219

Yujiro legitimately surprised by kindness 😧

HE'S SO LEGITIMATELY SURPRISED, i mean considering how Baki had been since he's 13 it makes sense

I'm losing my fucking mind, yujiro i love you but i hate you

I like how most think this Yujiro is fake, i think he isn't <3

Someone called Yujiro autistic and i can't tell if they mean it literally or as an insult, like he IS a very picky guy who always wears the same clothes and has a mad low empathy... Murder is his special interest 🥰 /j

Chapter 220

I honestly feel happy for Baki, he's so euphoric over his dad hanging out with him lmao

I miss Kureha's bangs :/

Tokugawa please stop killing urself

Obsessed this man will literally die, unironically wondering why Itagaki would do that

Mfs speaking shit of Retsu's boxer arc... Stfu it's so fun :/

Chapter 221

Isn't 36 a big number for a boxer?

I really wonder what Retsu wants the money for, dude doesn't live a wild life, he doesn't often drink, he doesn't fuck, he doesn't do drugs...

KWHWKDHSUS THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGES THESE MEN'S GAY ASSES

ALI SR!?

Kinda sweet how he's doing this for Baki i guess

There is a guy defending Retsu with teeth and nail n like all true bestie <3

Chapter 222

Tf is that foot? Who owns it?

OOOOH SHIBA!!! MY BELOVED 🥺

Shiba against Baki?! Iit surely can't be, he must just be taking him to Hanayama, right?

TF SHIBA? YOU KNOW NOT EVEN YOUR BOSS CAN WIN AGAINST HIM!

GET HIS ASS RETSU PLEASE

Chapter 223

We are all wondering the same, Baki <:/

Yeah it is kinda badass

Shiba please, at least Baki won't kill him so it's ok but STILL BRO PLS-

Rip Retsu 😔💔

Chapter 224

Slender?! Bro this mf mad buff

I'm so obsessed with this like Shiba didn't show up in how many chapters then randomly decides to fight Baki. Also, Hanayama is gonna die of cirrhosis :/

WITH OPEN HAND TO THE CHIN...

Chapter 225

I wonder how this will affect Shiba

Crying and shaking Retsu get up 😭

Retsu i love your monologue and analysis but you are sort of in a fight?

Holy fuck Retsu is tripping balls

Chapter 226

Shiba please

>:<

OHDIRSISTDOYHD BAKI JUST WANTS TO CHILL PLEASEEE

FUCKING BITCH SLAPPED

A gentler devil... I like that

IYDOYDITSUSITURSDUT

On god is this how Yujiro feels? Thought tbf Yujiro used to make ppl hate him on purpose ;/

Chapter 227

"i will teach you something" *breaks your jaw*

Obsessed with who i assume is young Kaku btw

SPIN?

Chapter 228

Dude the shoes :/

Aw he's so nice ☺️

"that last panel looking like he bout to drop some beats but knowing the situation he's going to ve dropping a body"

Chapter 229

Poor coach lmao

He DID move lol

OBSESSED HE'S SPINNING ON HIS PEG LEG 😭

Retsu don't lose 😢

Chapter 230

"what did he get???" OUFOOYDOTSUEAIRW 😭😭😭

Shiba... Baby, you will die.

I love how nicely he's taking it lmao

This is LITERALLY Katsumi vs Doyle

SOMEONE ELSE MENTIONED IT LMAO

Anyways good luck on Shiba and wanting to taste defeat

Reality is my phone reset on its own and i lost the last 4 chapters but that's fine, i need to take a nap anyway

[rigelmejo]

listening reading method updates

Some updates because I’ve done Listening Reading Method maybe 10-15 hours within the past week and wow is it worth doing (for me) if done properly:

First some notes of what “properly” means for me: It means I’ve done step 2 at some point (since I’m using all books I have at least vague prior context for whether its this past year or in life I’ve seen them before). It means I do step 2 first. Then I do step 3, with parallel text so I keep my place OR do it in Pleco (doing step 3 in Pleco is strangely super effective for me).

So, I’ve been testing my general listening comprehension. How I’ve tested it: listening to some audio file of a chapter I did with L R method, and see if I can understand it better. So no text aid. Also generally some time gap (at least a few days) between when I did L R, and when I listen to test my comprehension.

Limits of test: this is not new material - I have both prior context of the plot, and doing L R method on the material before means I have intensively studied that audio material with L R method at one point. I’m trying to find some ‘totally unknown’ stuff to test with too we’ll see.

Benefits of the test: its easy to compare my progress, because I’ve listened to these audios many times so I know where my ‘comprehension’ of them was at a few months ago. I can more easily compare.

---

So anyway, has L R Method helped listening comprehension? YES god oh my god. 

I listened to Chapter 9 of Guardian’s audiobook just falling asleep, because I didn’t feel like full on L R Method the chapter (I have done Listening Reading Method for chapters 1-8). I could understand enough to follow the entire main plot and all the main scenes - a few descriptive sentences lost me, but I got all the action-related (touched reached stood cried shouted left side pocket held objects movement and set phrases priest uses for certain expressions), key emotion related (like sad cold warm kind sharp worried investigated pushed shivered and set phrases I remember priest using for certain expressions) details, and got all of the main dialogue (this part context helps for though since words like reincarnation and sundial are fairly new to me and I only understand since I already ran into them in previous chapters I’ve done L R Method with). 

I was freaking FLOORED I could just listen and enjoy the story, so today I listened to chapter 1 again. And YEP - same thing applied. I could follow all of the main plot, main scenes, and certain details. I totally missed the part where he talks about his aunt/uncle but I heard his bad grades, got the letter for a job notice, how he hates phone calls, his plan to go, him getting to the place, what the place looked like and Wang Zheng and all the scenes at the job - so like I mentioned, actions/emotions/real objects being interacted with I can mostly follow. The paragraphs of description background (like Guo Changcheng’s upbringing and how his uncle got him a job) are harder for me to catch everything - I am guessing because there’s more description phrases and less straightforward action=response. (For example - xiao guo sees Lao Wu, they respond, so its easy to follow, or he sees Wang Zheng and faints, or he walks into the courtyard and reads the address - all of these moments directly focus on things and react which is easier to follow). 

For the first time I can say I can listen to just the audiobook and follow it enough to enjoy the plot and what’s mainly going on without any text aid. And I’ve only done the listening reading method for 8 chapters! That’s 40-50 minutes a chapter, around 360 minutes or 6 hours. 6 hours spent Listening Reading Method Guardian, and I already see a huge boost in what I can comprehend in listening! (I also did some random L R method chapters of other stuff so add 1-2 hours - that’s still like 8 hours total... that ain’t much). 

Last time I listened to guardian audiobook without any text aid (a few months ago), I could hear some words I knew and some phrases, and had a vague understanding of when he got to the job (heard courtyard and si ming hao), met Lao Wu (i heard him report for duty), when he talked to zhao yunlan and got generally welcomed, met Wang Zheng and thought ‘he has no feet’ and got scared. No fucking details. The vaguest impression of the main plot mainly because I’ve read the chapter before and knew the scenes coming. But that was still eons better than Before That - around 6 months ago i listened to chapter 1 like 5 times until i could hear some phrases instead of just isolated words. 

This time, I could follow things because I could HEAR what was actually going on, not just because I heard some keywords. I could clearly hear the details about Guo Changcheng entering the courtyard, reading the address and special investigations name, go up to Lao Wu and report in and Lao Wu greet him warmly and excitedly mention how lucky it is he came today that their boss is there! And fawn over how cool the boss is, and all the specifics of the convo with Zhao Yunlan (and half of his appearance like how he’s handsome and heroic looking and had a hand in his pocket and seemed cold until he noticed them and smiled and acted warm and friendly). And all the scenes were like that - like with Wang Zheng I could hear all the details of Guo Changcheng freaking out, eventually noticing her head had been cut and it wasn’t a necklace it was like sewn on and how he passed out. It was soooo much better ToT. The amount of comprehension is sooooo much higher than the last time I tried to listen! It shocks me how much better! This is enough comprehension to actually listen and just enjoy it. ToT

So yeah, I’d say Listening Reading Method, as I’m doing it right now, is making noticeable improvements in my reading skill and listening skill. 

So yeah I’m super curious how listening comprehension is gonna be 20 chapters into Listening Reading Method. 

What I do think this would be good for, if you were studying short term? If you wanted to understand a specific audiobook - doing L R Method with the book until you can listen to the rest. It would probably take a short enough amount of study to do within a month if you already have some skills in the language (since this is with 6-8 hours of study). I saw someone once do SRS Flashcard study based on a show they liked in a foreign language, and within a month they could watch that show they liked without english subs and follow the main plot. I think L R Method with a novel works kind of similar - its intensive study on one story. So within a reasonably short amount of time (10-50 hours maybe, something that can be done within a month) you can get enough comprehension skill of that One story to understand it ok. 

I imagine you need to do L R Method longer, and with either a word dense material (lots of varied vocab) or else multiple stories (ideally different authors and genres), in order to get broader listening skill improvement. Like right now my listening skill in general seems to have improved somewhat... but its more like ‘listening to a show without subs’ is now easier. Not like I can turn on a brand new audiobook and follow it this well. So some slightly easier listening activity is now easier, but for other audiobooks I am probably comprehending more but the listening skill improvement is NOT as drastic as it is specifically with Guardian. 

Testing listening comprehension with materials I have not L R Method with:

Alice in Wonderland (story is shorter/simpler than novel): I can follow it mostly when listening only. I can follow it near entirely (know exactly what’s going on just a few words I don’t recognize) if I’m looking at the video (since it has pictures for context - like watching a show). My listening comprehension drops noticeably if I do NOT look at the video visuals for an aid - since I am used to Alice in Wonderland hitting the original novel beats, not this shorter movie-based version. This level of comprehension makes sense, as its written simpler than Guardian so I should have an easier time following details in this. But lack of context means I have to put more effort into figuring out what scene is what if I don’t have any visual cues. So easier ‘written’ audiobook material is much more comprehensible now (easier than Guardian even since I know most words), but I still need context like an image or prior awareness of the overall plot or else I need to pay more careful attention to follow everything: https://youtu.be/HqCg5y8Nwhg

Sherlock Holmes 血字的研究: Some benefit just like Alice in Wonderland in that I have broad context (I know Watson and Sherlock live and work together to solve issues, Watson is a verteran and doctor). First 5 minutes I can vaguely tell its probably Watson narrating, that he lives in London, that before he might have been injured (I heard bing like sick or?) - I’m truly not sure what happened, and now after 5 minutes I heard ‘great friend’ and ‘touched shoulder’ and ‘gaoxing’ so happy. So I’m guessing Sherlock and Watson are interacting now. What improvement in my listening comprehension I can Notice - is that words stick out, phrases, and sentence structures (like finally, since, therefore, actions). So I feel if I paused I might be able to look up some words I notice but can’t understand, to follow along better. As the 2 of them have their conversation I can catch SOME details and I could probably follow what’s going on IF I had some prior context (like what the general case is about). But I only hear - its a pity, what happened last night, poor lad, fangzi, destination. So i’m not sure if someone died or was hurt or what happened the other night?? But again, conversations seem to be the easiest part to follow. For this particular audiobook I almost feel like if I just kept consistently listening or re-listening, I could understand more... like I probably know more words than I’m catching, but since my brain’s working on trying to catch the main gist plot right now its not grasping any details I might otherwise be able to notice. No prior context of plot, no image - hard lol. Unlike guardian, I cannot follow most of it. But I can catch bits of each scene, most clear are the dialogue parts (but cause I have no surrounding contexts I’m still pretty lost). Also the clear action parts are easier to follow (he spoke, moved, reacted to something). Mostly the lack of context is what’s making me struggle. In the descriptions I hear a lot phrases and words I recognize, but I’m struggling to comprehend them together. Unfortunately context is mostly in the description parts I can’t figure out lol. https://youtu.be/J1sbP6_3680

I suspect an audio DRAMA might be a little easier now. Since they’re mostly dialogue, and dialogue seems to be what I’m finding the most improvement in (from very vague to some of the clearest comprehended parts). I listened to tian ya ke audiodrama a few days ago and it was doable to follow along with - but that was before more Listening Reading Method, and of course my prior context (having seen the show/read part of the novel) means it was muchhhh easier to follow cause I had enough context to guess which scene each moment was supposed to be - so I didn’t have to figure out overall context, just details. 

[fairytaleslive]

Dobrý den again, I have another little question for ptak o. At 6:49 Skeleton shouts something to the dog, it sounds like "van". (yt, remastered version) Couldnt find such word in Czech. In German dub it is translated as "verschwinde" (go away). Whats the original word? I have now seen the film several times because of the excellent play of Karel Roden, and it seems to me the film is not as bad as I first thought. The Czech actors play well. The German men play wooden, T. Ruland (princess) is ok.

Hi again! :) (btw sorry for long answers! I can never stop myself when I start to ramble about fairytale films!)

To your first question: I can’t understand what Skeleton says either, lol! At first I thought he says “Ven!”, meaning “Out!” which would sort of make sense in the context. But no matter how many times I rewatch the scene, it sounds more as if he just does a weird roar at the dog – ”vrrr” is a sound of dog growl in Czech.

Oh yes, Karel Roden is great and seeing him in a fairytale role is a rare treat. He is extremely picky about his roles, especially in recent years, and often stars in international projects.

International fans might know him as a villain in Bulletproof Monk and Rasputin in the first Hellboy movie. Not to mention his roles in Lamberto Bava’s Dragon Ring, second Fantaghirò and Sorellina e il principe del sogno.

Karel Roden as villainous Skeleton in The Firebird (1997)

I think that all the actors did the best they could with the material they were given. From the Czech actors: I can tell you that everyone basically plays their standard roles, in which they are good at; I wouldn’t say that they had to try too hard to be believable (e.g. Langmajer plays the sleazy prince, cause he usually plays sleazy roles, even to this day; Roden plays a charismatic villain, as he always does etc.). Kudos to Marián Labuda Sr. who plays Skeleton’s henchman, he was one of the best Slovakian actors in history and yet he took such a thankless little role and managed to nail it! (I imagine he enjoyed it too cause he didn’t often get to play villainous roles on screen :)

Ondřej Brousek, who plays the hero’s brother (why, oh why did they add his character and then killed him off?), is nowdays more of a composer/musician than an actor. He composed music scores for e.g. fairytales School of Princes (”Škola princů”, 2010) or The Treasure (”O pokladech, 2012) among many others.

For me, it’s interesting to see Barbora Leichnerová (Elena’s maid Margita), as it was her last role on screen and I don’t think that she is still acting to this day. She is a lesser known Czech actress, but I remember her well cause she starred in several made-for-TV fairytale films in the 80′s.

Edit: I feel bad for not mentioning the presence of the legendary Horst Buchholz in my original comment! He was a great actor and I wish that he had more screentime as the King in this movie!

I’ve always liked Tina Ruland in both The Magic Pouch and in The Firebird. I think she was pretty and charming in both roles (more in The Magic Pouch since she had more screentime and personality there). And a big shout out to Dana Černá, one of my favorite voice actresses, who provided her Czech voice! (the Prince is voiced by another of my favorite voice actors: Zdeněk Hruška, who also provided his voice to Max Urlacher in The Queen of the Lake btw)

I think that one of the many issues this movie has, one of the biggest ones is how underused the Prince and the Princess are as a couple. (btw I had no idea they became a pair while filming this, thank you for the info!) Their meeting is pretty cute, love at first sight sort of works (*I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream* theme is probably copied from Sleeping Beauty 1959, but I am ok with it). Their chemistry seems alright to me. But then...they never really talk again and all their interactions become forced and wooden. They could have been an adventuring, villain-killing power couple but Elena is then pretty much reduced to a constant damsel-in-distress and the Prince always seems to need the help of other people/magic items to suceed in his tasks...

Like you said, this movie had a lot of good things coming for it. Personally, I think it’s a real shame that the screeplay and execution ended up being so completely superficial and without spark.

This is just my personal opinion, but I think that they should have given the job to someone else than director Vorlíček. Someone younger, with new, creative, original ideas, who would turn the source material into a fun fairytale adventure film....

Vorlíček was about 66 years old at that time and pretty much drained as a creator. I know I sound harsh, I really respect and love his works from 60–70′s, but after that, the quality of his projects started to decline and (judging from interviews he did in his later years), he often seemed to put the blame on anyone but himself and refused to admit that his latest films are trash (I’ve seen his sequel to Girl on the Broomstick and it must be one of the worst movies ever made)....

[miserelysia]

“I Watched the Artemis Fowl Movie and It Made Me Very Upset” Liveblog!

So I decided I had to subject myself to this movie despite being Extremely Aware that it’s a massive pile of firey garbage. It was about as painful as expected, so I liveblogged to keep my sanity. Here’s basically what happened in my head while I was watching:

Josh Diggums: I feel so bad for Josh Gad's voice because it's painfully obvious they just didn't want Olaf showing up so they forced him into some terrible Bale-Batman voice that keeps cracking

why is this movie taking itself so seriously

Book Artemis: eternally unathletic dweeb

Movie Artemis: SURFING MASTER

the fuck, Branagh

THIS VOICE IS SO DAMN BAD, JOSH PLEASE STOP TALKING

okay Artemis is appropriately a little shit for EXACTLY ONE SCENE

FUCK OFF WITH FRIDGING THE MOM, BRANAGH

"ur mom's dead and ur dad's gone so ur a little shit" WHAT A GREAT COUNSELOR

fuck's sake

Book Artemis: immediately falls off whatever this hover thing is

COLIN FARRELL. SEXY MAN.

I ALMOST FORGIVE THEM FOR BRINGING HIM BACK EARLY

AND..... KNOWING ABOUT MAGIC

SDJFKSDF

WHATEVER

I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS

this voice is still terrible, Josh. I'm sorry

this kid is a pretty good actor

"all i really want is to believe in you" that was actually well-delivered

"Arty"

<sobbing>

OKAY IT'S NOT ACCORDING TO THE BOOK BUT FUCK ME THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS WELL DONE

i desperately need Butler to show up soon tho

I SPOKE TOO SOON

"DOMOVOI" ??!!?? YOU FUCKS

why

are his eyes

fucking ELECTRIC BLUE

HIS LITERAL FUKDFSUCING NAME IN THE BOOKS IS 'BUTLER' IT'S PART OF BEING AN INSANELY GOOD SECRET AGENT GUARDIAN HE'S NOT AN ACTUFL FUCKING BUTLER AND LITERALLY NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM "THE BUTLER" BUT HIS NAME IS BUTLER BECAUSE HIS REAL NAME IS SECRET HE'S FUCKING SECURITY FUCKING DID YOU READ THIS FUCKING BOOK SERIES AT ALL BRANAGH OR DID YOU JUSTDSJFKLDSHFSD:LFSEFAGH

i'm sorry

Butler is my absolute favorite character of the entire damn series and they fucking

can't even get OOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEE CHARACTER CORRECT

SCREAMS

did they think calling him "Butler" would be weird because they cast a black guy?????

AGAIN WHY WITH THE FUCKING ELECTRIC BLUE CONTACTS THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE IT LOOKS SO BAD. IF YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO CAST AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN JUST FUCKING OWN THAT HE HAS DARK EYES DON'T DO THIS

THE "OWL STAR"???? REALLY???? WHY NOT FOWL STAR

WHY

NOT

IT'S JUST SUCH AN ARBITRARY DUMBASS CHANGE IT MAKES NO SENSE

PLEASE DID I JUST MISUNDERSTAND THE REPORTER MAN

DID THE CAPTIONS JUST MISUNDERSTAND HIM?????

NOPE IT'S LITERALLY THE  O W L  S T A R

fuck off

i'm sorry

stuff like that just bothers me a lot

it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to change it

Fowl Star made sense bECAUSE IT'S OWNED BY ARTEMIS FOWL

artemis has a lot more emotions than i remember him having

i will not forgive them for destroying the Butler/Artemis relationship in favor of a Dad they fucking fridge in the first half hour of the movie

oh boy nursery rhymes as codes

GROUNDBREAKING

i think the fairies would have something to say about you hiding their own shit from them, MISTER SENIOR

it's still a bad voice, Josh, I'm so sorry

okay Haven is pretty nice

"Haven" not "Haven City"

pretty sure

holly being a 13 year old girl is disconcerting

that was mentioned in a review

they're supposed to be Child-Sized not ACTUAL CHILDREN

also "small person = higher pitched voice" is such a stupid trope please stop

i like the Being diversity around the city

like lots of different types of humanoids

josh desperately wants to do the Olaf voice

i'm so sorry Josh

okay aside from the shit voice Diggums is pretty good

lol Cudgeon's already in jail

i

okay then

i know this is Opal Koboi

meh

i hate her in the books so they can fuck her up all they want

judi dench is batman too i guess

how many cigs you smoke judi root

OH BOY HOLLY HAS MISSING DADDY ISSUES TOO

fucking shit

"you're 84" and you look like a fUCKING THIRTEEN YEAR OLD

such bad choices

every time they say "Domovoi" i--

HISDFHSDHFH

JULIET

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

NIECE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

SDFJLS:DKF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

FUCK YOU

FUCK

FUCK

FUCK YOU KENNETH BRANAGH

NO

NO

NO

NO

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

SISTER

HIS BABY SISTER HE LOVES AND CARES FOR EVEN MORE THAN ARTEMIS AND THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP THAN UNCLE AND NIECE

HOW COULD YOU LITERALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT BUTLER AND STILL SLEEP AT NIGHT

<vomits into the sun>

eoin colfer i hope you made so much money off of this SHITSTACK

(genuinely tho that's literally the only consolation; now he can write more Good Books)

Juliet is cute but i know about all she does is make sandwiches

so fuck this

judi dench is Good

foaly is Okay

why's he wearing clothes tho

the chutes are a lot more... open than expected

BEECHWOOD SHORT THE TRAITOR

FUCK OFF

WHY IS HOLLY’S CHARACTER DEFINED BY HER FUCKING FATHER

THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE AN OUTCOME THAN I EVEN EXPECTED GIVEN THEY EVISCERATED HER CHARACTER'S DRIVE BY MAKING THE L.E.P. ALREADY HAVE FEMALE OFFICERS AND COMMANDERS

"get out cudgeon before i throw you out" okay they got Root completely right at least

aside from making him a her

but that's okay

because it's Judi Dench

awwwww happy flying scene bUT HOLLY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SHIELDED GOt DAMN

“any update?” "yes. i'm freezing" amazing, Butler

i mean dOmOvOi

HOLLY YOU'RE STILL NOT SHIELDED

CGI isn't too bad in this but honestly that's not impressive anymore

awwwww cute wedding scene

troll is about as ugly as possible

LOL JUST FUCKING THROW TIME FREEZE UP LIKE IT'S NOTHING

OKAY

LOL HOLLY GO DEAL WITH THE TROLL DON'T FOCUS ON ONE SMALL CHILD

THAT'S NOT HOW A TIME FREEZE WORKS

I

i mean it's COOL

i love the little Men in Green zipping around

but it doesn't make ANY sense

LOL SO WHY DO THE PEOPLE THINK THE PLACE IS TRASHED

lol gently floating troll

Hollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Judi Root continues to be amazing

ok tbf Opal Koboi would be after the Aculos if it existed

OP MacGuffin plots are so tired tho like really Branagh

i love the wings on her suit

ARTEMIS WHEN DID YOU GET TO THE TREE

holly ur a bad 84-year-old officer

LOL CUDGEON IS RIGHT ON

AND JUDI ROOT CONTINUES TO BE

"Not Happy!" lol wat

who wrote that bit of dialogue and said "yes this a perfectly good thing to have her say when she wakes up in a cage"

"mesmerism"

boy i love these exposition dump convos between Mr. Sr. and Arty

LOL "most human beings are afraid of gluten, how do you think they'd handle goblins" is a great line

out of touch, but still funny

...why does the time freeze take forever to generate now when you did it in TWO SECONDS BEFORE

calm down holly damn

foaly's very pretty

sO DID THEY FREEZE THE *ENTIRE WORLD*????????

I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS TO FREEZE THINGS INSIDE SO YOU HAVE MOONLIGHT LONGER

AND

AND

whatever

i love this fucking ARMY coming out of literally everywhere

"TOP OF THE MORNIN'" OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

whole movie is worth it

for that line

i love that they're entirely in green

and no one ever Shields

ever

they mentioned Shields once but NO ONE IS SHIELDED

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS INTO A FIGHT

SCREAMS

"TAKE THE SHOT"

WHY IS THE TIME FREEZE SO EASILY DESTABILIZED

FOALY

ARE YOU TELLING ME NO ONE HAS EVER SHOT YOUR FUCKING ENORMOUS DEVICE

omg no U GAVE OPAL KOBOI LEGITIMATE REASONS FOR DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING

YOU GAVE HER A SAD FRUSTRATING BACKSTORY

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ARROGANT SELF-SERVING BITCH AND NOTHING ELSE

TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES??????

hOW DID ARTEMIS KNOW ABOUT MULCH DIGGUMS SPECIFICALLY

lol that is 100% a completely inhumane prison what the fuck, fairies

why does Holly have human music

well i'm glad we didn't have to watch mulch almost eat a dude's head

"My father was kidnapped."

"My father is dead."

"Can I trust you?"

"You'll have to."

BUT WHY

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER PROGRESSION

THERE's NO REASON TO TRUST HER

OR TO NEED TO TRUST HER

THIS IS COMPLETELY UNEARNED AND STUPID

glad holly's entire character REVOLVES AROUND A MAN NOW, BRANAGH

LOL THEY JUST DIDN'T GIVE ROOT A FIRST NAME???

JUDI ROOT CONFIRMED

"listen to us, grunting at each other like a pair of hippos with a throat infection" LMAO

i hope that was Josh Gad improv

LOL HE JUST FUCKING DESTROYS EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY WHILE TUNNELING

YOU DIDN'T EVEN REALLY TUNNEL IN, MULCH

HOW DID YOU COME OUT OF A PAINTING

DO THEY HAVE PAINTINGS IN A BASEMENT???

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHEETROCK OR WHATEVER

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST

UGH

FOLLOW THE BOOK

COME ON

MULCH YOU ARE THE WORST BURGLAR

"what would your parents be" THEY'D BE CENTAURS MULCH

is... is Mulch on the second floor

HE TUNNELED THROUGH THE WALL ONTO THE SECOND FLOOR

artemis... just.. lets holly out

ok cool

LOL HIS NOSE HAIRS GROW AND MOVE LIKE TENTACLES

stupid and... funny? i guess

at least Cudgeon is the piece of shit he is in the book lol

oh boy troll time

BUTER WOULD NEVER LET MULCH DIGGUMS PICKPOCKET HIM

"jam all magic" OMFG THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS FACE DOWN A FUCKING TROLL

LOL THEY JUST FIRE THE TROLL LIKE A BULLET

A TROLL-ET

DOMOVOI YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS WHAT THE FUCK

i wonder if kids even like this movie

omg butler couldn't even jump

i

i don't understand

he literally DOESN'T HELP AT ALL

IT'S HIS WHOLE THING

IS BEING ABLE TO KICK ASS

FUCKING COME ON BRANAGH

yeah fuck you branagh

are... are the fairies just DYING TO THE TIME FREEZE COLLAPSE???

"goodbye my friend. i'm sorry i was FUCKING USELESS"

branagh you're trying to activate my feelings with this Sad Death Scene(TM) but i am IMPERVIOUS because artemis has had NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER WITH THIS """DOMOVOI"""

COOL HE'S BACK NOW I’M SO GLAD ACTUAL FULL ON DEATH HAS ZERO CONSEQUENCES NOW THANKS TO OP FAIRY MAGIC

WHAT GREAT WRITING THIS IS

"i didn't cry did i" FUCK OFF

WHY IS IT SO DANGEROUS WHEN THE TIME FREEZE ENDS

WHY IS YOUR TECH SO SHITTY, FOALY

TIME FREEZES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DANGEROUS TO THE OCCUPANTS

THAT GOES AGAINST ALL OF FAIRY RULES

...okay and then it just ends..........?

Domovoi: "you have to try!"

Artemis: "i can't, tho"

Domovoi: "it's too dangerous!"

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHO WROTE THIS ABSOLUTE DRIVEL

"the aculos for my father"

THE L.E.P. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE YOUR FATHER YOU ABSOLUTE DOOF

holly how do u know how to do this

the... the aculos is just the fucking Book?

i feel slapped in the face

she just recites the words and. and.

whatever

whatever

i'm done

GO FIND YOUR DAD WHO'S MAGICALLY BACK

WHY WOULD HE BE IN THE BED ARTEMIS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS

this girl who plays Holly cannot act

i'm sorry girl

MAGICALLY BACK DAD

HOORAY HOLLY'S CHARACTER CONTINUES TO BE DEFINED BY HER FATHER

FUCK

YOU

WRITERS

AND BRANAGH

BUTLER WOULD NEVER CRY, DOMOVOI

i like the cool earpiece they gave Judi Root to maybe? disguise her hearing aid?

Haven does look pretty cool

too much water above tho it’s not Atlantis guys come on

"i'm a criminal mastermind" LITERALLY WHEN DID YOU SHOW ANY SORT OF MASTERMIND BEHAVIOR OR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

BESIDES BRIEFLY KIDNAPPING HOLLY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LETTING HER OUT

LMAO THAT LAST SHOT OF JULIET JUST LOOKING EXCITEDLY OUT OF THE WINDOW AT THE HELICOPTER WHILE EVERYONE LEAVES HER BEHIND

WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT EVEN

THIS POOR GIRL YOU’RE JUST LEAVING HER ALONE

WOW THIS PRISON/INTERROGATION PLACE HAS LIKE

NO SECURITY

HI HOLLY WHY ARE YOU HERE??????

THIS WHOLE ENDING IS JUST THE STUPID CAP ON TOP OF A STUPID SUNDAE

i need to go listen to the books again now

[messedupessy]

💍 💎 💒 for both Pass and Boney

Ohhh Pin this is such a good ask yeeess rkjejkeekj perfect UwU ❤ also sorry for the late response I been busy and just been unable to finish this reply gekjgnjek

💍 Would they ever get married?

Boney:

Yes, he would, or more like did but still do it’s complicated. As Boney is one big fucking romantic and getting to marry someone is like a very self-indulgent dream thing, a fantasy, but ever since the whole betrayal at the hands of his ex-lover who went and killed him and his brother, Boney has ended up with some serious trust issues when it comes to relationships.

He has become seriously scared of opening up to someone like he did back then ever again, he is afraid of getting used and betrayed once more. And getting married could make a future betrayal etc hurt even more as it would mean he would have opened himself up once more and so on, so he is afraid of it. But at the same time it’s something he still really wants in a way, it’s like really romantic and sweet and Boney is one big af romantic and so he just really like the idea of getting married, but at the same time thanks to his fears and trauma it would take some serious time with the right person for him to become less afraid of getting married.

As he wants to with the right person, but he is really afraid of even finding that right person anymore as he is so scared of getting hurt again and also to get his brother hurt in the process, as Boney apparently got really shitty taste in who he falls for. But in conclusion, yes Boney would love to get married one day but he also fears it. 

Pass:

Hell yeah Pass would love to get married, but it’s not something he really needs, like if his partner or partners etc wants to get married then great he is all for it! But it’s not something he would go for unless his partner etc really wants it, he is happy with whatever his partner is willing to give him, and if they want to get married then of course he will say yes! So yes Pass would totally get married eventually if his partner is willing, and if not he is completely ok with not been married, as it’s not something he desperately wants or needs, but if given to him he won’t say no.

Pass has never like dreamed or fantasized about getting married like Boney has, like maybe once or twice and thought yeah that would be nice but it’s like something he can live without. And Boney can live without it too but it’s also like something Boney himself eventually would really love to do as he is a sappy af romantic and have read too many romance books pfft.  

💎 Would they rather propose or be proposed to? 

Boney: 

He would prefer to get proposed to, but at the same time that is kinda something he is scared of in a way too. So absolutely no surprise proposals at all as that shit will scare him the fuck off and also screw over his trust. 

As if there will be any proposing or marriageing Boney needs to have a proper talk about it before hand, give him time to think it over properly and so on. Like he needs to feel ready for it properly so like first bringing it up or maybe he himself bringing it up and just talk about it is the way to go, afterward for an actual proposal he will be all too happy to be the one to get proposed to, though if needed he wouldn’t mind be the one to propose either but he much better prefer to get proposed to. 

And Boney might be a very flashy and fancy guy but he would prefer to get proposed to in a bit more of a private setting actually, or in something dramatic like imagine the wedding scene between Elizabeth and uh fuck I forgot his name but Pirate’s of the Caribbean you know in the third movie I think when they get married while fighting on the ship, that is something Boney is hella into bc that shit is romantic af. 

Pass: 

He is hella up for both, he don’t mind either way! He is way more interested if his partner is ok with getting proposed to or if they want to get married at all, as like I mentioned before so is Pass not super interested in getting married unless his partner wants it, he is ok with staying unmarried but he is also ok with getting married.

But like always I am getting sidetracked, but Pass is up to get proposed to or do the proposal it’s all up to his partner and also if they have properly talked about it beforehand, as he is not going to suddenly propose to them out of the blue that is just rude and not nice, because talking things through is the key to every relationship and Pass is very persistent in that! 💒 What kind of wedding would they want to have?

Boney:

Something overly fancy, something overly big almost like a big af ball, but he would also love something smaller like a beach wedding with just some close friends and family. As long as he gets to look very fab af and get to marry his partner and things just going well he doesn’t mind how big or small it is, but he do like to plan stuff out though because hey it’s fun.

Though something I so can see him doing is that during the after party, he and his partner sneaking off and leaving to go on their honeymoon without telling anyone, escaping the festivities hand in hand and just been overly stupidly happy yes. 

Pass:

Pass don’t really care that much, or well care is like the wrong word it’s more like he don’t have any proper preference as he is up for anything, want to get married all stupidly big and expensively? Hell yeah he’s in! Want to just go and file under some papers and get it over with? Sure thing he is right behind you! Want to get married in a small wedding with friends and family? Fuck yes! Like it’s all about what his partner or partners would prefer, as he is literally up for anything and is just happy over the fact they want to get married to him, he is srs so excited over it, and can’t wait to help out in any way he can. 

Love and Sexuality ask here

[golden--spark]

AF novels + movie: About the Holly & Artemis ship

My last meta about that movie until the next news. Honnestly, I'm biased, I'll be as partial as possible for this meta.

Ok, so. They don't end up together during these 8 books given the TLG's ending. In fact, the ending was pretty open since it's just a retelling of Artemis's life. But their friendship is here even without Artemis's memories, and this is what really matters. So ending together is not the ultimate goal: the only goal was for Artemis to be a hero, being with people who will never give up on him and to find peace with himself. Their friendship did not break after Artemis's death and memory loss. Seriously, how many people can pretend to have friends like Butler, Holly or Foaly let alone someone like Artemis who never had friends before?

I love this ship, but the story is fine without it.

Let's assume Romance is a serious matter. Romance is rather discreet in AFverse. It has always been brought out for married couples (Angeline & Artemis Sr, Caballine & Foaly, Leonor & Turnball) and 'gf/bf' jokes for Foaly (Minerva & Artemis, Holly & Trouble). But why can we say Holly & Artemis is romantic? They are not married nor teased by Foaly (but Foaly tried to add a fuel while gossiping about Trouble being Holly's bf in front of Artemis). Mulch already expressed his disgust toward cross species but he got his mind wiped by Opal in TTP. Their moments are both accidental and very personnal. Beside Orion, no one knew Hartemis could be a thing. I bet no one among their friends ever thought of it because it's a very weird match. Sure they are friends, but lovers? They are too different, their only common point is saving the world and an incisive sense of humor.

And let's not talk about their respective issues to resolve. Artemis does not talk about his real thoughts and feelings easily, and his lack of honesty already cost him a lot. Holly puts others first and does not take care of herself, her relationship would lack of balance and individual growth. To put it in a nutshell, he would be a closed off vampire feeding on Holly's overdose of love and overcare for him.

How can one say Artemis had his opportunity for romance? Does Artemis actually need romance in life? He just has barely enough space for friendship.

Let's be honest. Artemis's growth involved all type of love but romance was never a motivation nor a goal. Artemis already accomplished his goals and Holly's heart was not one. I'm fully convinced. Why? Because of Orion. Orion pretends to share Artemis's romantic feelings and openly care about Holly. In greek mythology, there are different version of Artemis and Orion's relationship. Actually, in some version, they're supposed to be companions of hunting. And which version Arty picked as metaphor to explain his relation to Orion? The one with Orion as a rival and killed by a scorpion sent by Artemis. Arty did not mention why the Goddess killed Orion: he offended her (for diverse reasons). And what was TAC!Orion's fault? Seducing Holly (and ruining his friendship with her and Foaly). Unlike Orion, Artemis is not hunting her heart.

That does not mean he is not attracted by her, he just will not act. So romance is not a goal.

It has never been about finding/protecting a romantic bond. This is why romance is not necessary to his story and Eoin Colfer had never made any development. He forgot about Artemis's attraction toward Minerva, Artemis and Holly's last talk (before the sacrifice) was intimate, but not romantic.

So is the movie going to be different? Well, we can only make supposition:

Given Artemis's description (as I addressed here, I think he's going to be more open and accepting about friendship and love.

Since the movie merges the book 1 et 2, this will speed up Artemis's growth and Holly would not have one year to harbour grudges. Holly started to sympathize with Artemis because she understands his pain to grow without a father.

Finally, Holly actress removes by herself the main drawback: the age. Even if Movie!Holly is still 80yo, the appearence of a teenager makes the ship morally more acceptable.

It may be too soon for such supposition, but I guess Disney would want to go with an iconic main couple (for marketing purpose).

So, in the books's context, a romantic liaison was not possible. But for the movie, if Artemis is less emotionally constipated, if the age and maturity gap are smaller, all removing main obstacle well...romantice is plausible and possible. As a fan and a low-key shipper, I would be both dipleased and curious how this would turn out.

[tateonnas-blog]

Top Ten Unique Mothers Day Gifts

When Mothers Day arrives what kind of gift giver are you? Do you have a go-to florist you always call? Edible arrangments on speed dial? A custom gift giver? Or a Grocery store gift card giver? I think over the years I have to admit to being all of the above, I would love to always be the custom thoughtful, oh my gosh this is SO me gift giver but life happens and we end up in a panic grabbing the most thoughtful gift in the least amount of time and hoping the person feels the love we are trying to convey. We are here to try and help make this year easier. We love you and you are welcome.

https://bouquetbar.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_tTXBRBsEiwArqXyMpGPDZgKK0I0mr9v4fkq55-r_JzFTPAKxOlhAJDj81SDpNGA0rjnCRoCF2AQAvD_BwE Gifting is an art, and here at Bouquet Bar, we’re making sure that art is alive and well. A gift is an expression of love, gratitude, and friendship.  Bouquet Bar cherishes the old-world tradition of giving with all the modern convenience you’ve come to expect and love.

https://www.bestproducts.com/fun-things-to-do/g3553/mother-daughter-trip-ideas/?slide=1 10 AMAZING MOTHER-DAUGHTER TRIPS FOR WHEN YOU NEED SOME GIRL TIME Keep it all in the family with these fun and inspiring getaways!

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https://www.amazon.com/Hashtag-Sticker-Customized-Personalized-Lettering/dp/B01FWNET9C/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1526060700&sr=8-14&keywords=custom+decalsHashtag White # Sticker Window Decal Vinyl Customized Personalized @ Your Hash Tag Text Custom Lettering

https://www.uncommongoods.com/gifts/mothers-day-gifts/mothers-day-gifts Looking for a unique gift? Check out this website!

https://www.customink.com/custom/personalized-glassware?mrkgcl=293&mrkgadid=3022948049&rkg_id=h-24760020d927de0a83cad572fb68b265_t-1526061485&pc=PNG-3022948049Z&cm_ite=custom_wine_glass&adpos=1t2&creative=207740849505&device=c&matchtype=b&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAjw_tTXBRBsEiwArqXyMlU_92cll8tB0x-NQ06cSARgkiW8AgrtoYQGdZHjx6LRns5k0j8oQRoCf7EQAvD_BwE Use Custom Ink's online lab to personalize your own glassware. Custom wine glasses & beer mugs make great wedding gifts and provide your guests with a truly memorable experience.

https://www.personalwine.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_tTXBRBsEiwArqXyMtnU933Ep6ks-8sEYL4dAhSnC7bd1S6bjStuWXaIMr5wB28doopNPRoC74cQAvD_BwE The perfect gift is equal parts thoughtful, unique and desirable—custom wine is all three. We understand the significance of gifting and are obsessive when it comes to the quality of our products and the level of our service. Whether you are wanting to say I love you to a significant other, wish a best friend a happy birthday, or show your appreciation to a top client, the thought and elegance of a personalized wine bottle is sure to be well received.

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Here you go, a list of unique and thoughtful gifts to choose from that should make even the hardest mother to shop for smile. Have fun shopping and remember, "life's a journey enjoy the ride!"

[valkirsif]

Life in Midgard

Thank you so much at @mycapt-ohcapt and @senorita-stucky for inspiration!!

Valkyrie x Wanda

Warning: Smut

2000 word

I hope enoj :) 

“So this would be Midgard?” Valkyrie said looking from the porthole of the shuttle, “I do not understand what you find of beautiful Thor, I really do not understand is a blue and green ball and I understand even less Loki who wants to destroy, for me it makes no sense “ she threw the empty bottle to the ground and sit down again

"You will understand when we land, from here it looks like only a blue and green ball, when you know the humans you will understand my love for the Earth” Thor answered as they approached his favorite planet

“Ahahah the humans say ?? If I’m all like this I’ll have a lot of fun !! ” said, and she punched Bruce’s shoulder

“I’m sorry to give you a pain but I’m the only one of my kind” Banner said holding his shoulder and getting out of the woman’s trajectory “But I agree with Thor, the inhabitants of the Earth will please you, they are cheerful and usually welcoming, yes apart with the other part of me ”

“Brother the conditions that Stark has placed are absurd, I do not mean to be treated like an animal!” Loki entered altered in the bridge “It pretends to put a collar, A COLLAR, to prevent me from using magic, as if I could not control myself !! ” he was as indignant as ever, the three looked at each other not knowing whether to laugh or pretend anything, they chose the second hypothesis.

Entering the Earth orbit Tony managed to contact them to give the coordinates of descent to a safe place where he would have expected them together with the others,

“Banner, are you there? Are you OK?? What happened? "Nat had entered the conversation, wanted, pretended to hear Bruce,

"I’m here Nat, it’s all right, I’ve been in the dark for a while, but now it’s me again and I missed you so much!” Bruce was happy to hear she again, he had no idea how she’d explained the last 3 years but he could not wait,

“Nat please let me finish then the big and green will be all yours” Tony was able to resume communication “Point Break I send you the coordinates, try not to destroy anything while you park, that shuttle has a very wide ass”

“I missed too Stark” Thor laughed while setting the navigator, “We’ll be there in 20 minutes, um we’re in several here, we’ll need medical attention, clothes and food”

“Many of you say ?! It seems to me a euphemism to call the entire population of Asgard several, we are already equipped, quiet your people will be fine Re Point Break "and with the usual sarcasm closed the link,

20 minutes after the shuttle was in sight, the Avengers were deployed and ready to welcome the survivors, landed without problems, there were hugs and smiles, Nat literally launched himself on Bruce falling with him in amazement of all, Nat was not a sociable or affectionate woman, Valkyrie got out and looked around, the doctors reached her, seeing covered with blood and rickety, in response she landed 3 even before they could touch her,

"Hey hey, they’re friends, they just want to make sure you’re okay.” Clint had already hit the stun arrow as he spoke,

“Calm down, nobody will hurt you here, take a breath” Wanda’s voice crept into her mind making her waver

“Was not the Prince of mistchief enough I have to endure a witch now?” Valkyrie took back control and lowered the sword,

“Do not you have to offer guests to drink on Midgard? Bring fresh animals to the arena and cover you with money and alcohol .. save an entire people and try to stun you, Thor where the hell you dragged me? "she said, Clint lowered the bow and burst out laughing

"Are you okay?” Wanda asked the stranger “May I know your name?” she said slowly approaching

“Yes im ok the blood is not mine, I do not come from the underworld my blood is red like your witch” put away the sword and went to Wanda with firm step “I am SR-142, Valkyrie, protector of Asgard, last of my caste” said looking at Wanda’s outstretched hand,” What should I do now kiss your hand? “

Wanda tried to keep her attitude "It’s a landly habit to shake hands when you introduce yourself, I’m Wanda,” and she shook hands with her, Valkyrie squeezed back with a little more force than necessary, but Wanda did not let go.

More than a month had passed since their arrival, the Asgardians were integrating, Stark loved spending time with scientists to study how they used energy, Nat was the most tender of women and spent all his free time on Bruce, Clint was the shadow of Loki still did not trust him, Thor helped by Heimdall sought the ideal place for his people, Wanda and Valkyrie had become very friends, Wanda helped her to sleep with magic and during the day Valkyrie taught her how a guardian fights, they spent most of their time together

“Valk film !!” Wanda said preparing the popcorn, “Damn is your turn” Valk entered the kitchen with afflicted air, she hated when Wanwan was shooting the film, always the same story.. him and her.. then something happens that divides them.. and the end find themselves, it was hard to send down those ridiculous stories but she liked to watch Wanda who was passionate, also noticed that she tried to hide the tears in the most moaning and it always made her smile, “Come on Valk this time you’ll like promised” switched on the TV while she was comfortable with favorite blanket, Valk sit down next to her turning off the light.

In fact, she liked the film a lot, zombies and guts were flying in a good mood, during a particularly grim scene felt Wanda cling to her, turned and recognized the fear in her eyes, Wanda sank head in her hair jumping for fear,

“These terrans are frightened with nothing” she thought as embraced a trembling Wanda, laughing she took her face in hands “Hey little witch you will not be afraid of a movie like this is it?” teasing her,

“Did that zombie do it? He opened it in two and extracted the entrails .. from what disgust now is eating! How do you laugh? “Wanda replied,

” I forget that on earth you do not know anything about what you have around, there are universes where this is normal, not a third-class movie “Valk looked at her seriously "Why did you choose this film if it scares you? "she asked

” I know that romance bores you, I wanted .. I wanted .. “Wanda said clumsily looking down, Valk lifted her head and on impulse kissed, she heard Wanda smile and tighten more to she,

"Little witch is all a staging, you are not afraid you were just looking for an excuse to make you kiss!” she detached from her and tickled her, “It did not matter all this waste of time, just ask” she said continuing to torture her,

“It was so unromantic …” Wanda laughed trying to defend herself,

“Romanticism … romanticism is so important on this planet,” Valk whispered in her ear, blocking any movement of the girl below her, with free hand stroked her face and kissed again, slowly, in a romantic way, Wanda melted like snow in the sun feeling lips on her, a burst of energy imprisoned the girls, Valk freed her hostage

“You do not need your tricks with me my little witch, your magic is wasted..I’m already yours” she said slipping a hand under her shirt, she bit her lip and began to lick her neck, Wanda passed nails on her back, the energy is she moved with her drawing on Valk’s skin through the thin fabric of her pajamas.

Valk sit down with Wanda in her lap and pulled her shirt off, “You’re so beautiful, so pale,” she said, running hands over her neck and descending at breast, a moan came from Wanda’s mouth as she bent to kiss her, there was nothing romantic in that kiss, passion had taken over, felt Valk’s hands on her and bite her lip, with a quick movement of the hands Valk drew her hair, the girl’s head snapped back, panting, kissed her chin and smiling down on her collarbone kissing and biting her pale skin, she stopped at the breast and began to lick it, Wanda’s nipples swelled up under those assaults and the girl moaned her name

“Ohh Valk please do not stop, I dreamed so much this moment, please do not stop …”, the excitement in her voice was palpable, a bubble of energy enveloped her amplifying pleasure, Valk slipped a hand on her pants, put it on her feet and took them off, Wanda was naked in front of her, kissed every inch of her skin coming down from her breasts, licked her navel as her hands made their way on her back to ass, Valk knelt to kiss her pubis, Wanda’s legs trembled and sank hands in her hair, her tongue made its way between legs while her hands were clutching and stroking  ass.

It brought a leg of Wanda on her shoulder to be able to sink better in her, tongue turned around her clit making the girl cry out with pleasure, brought a hand between her thighs to tease her pussy while she started to suck her clit gently, the tongue passed on her entry making her shudder and gasp with each step, “You’re so sweet my little witch” she said kissing her pubis and sliding two fingers in her, Wanda squeezed her hair moaning her name, Valk resumed the assault on his clit sucking greedily as her fingers touched and pushed on G-spot, the girl felt the orgasm mount in her and pushed Valk’s head to increase contact, her mouth focused on clit avidly sucking her fingers they moved faster and faster in and out of her, Wanda came screaming her name and fell to knees exhausted, Valk took her fingers from the girl and licked them

“You really have a great taste for it I was a witch "she said laughing, embracing Wanda kissing her "My little witch ” smiled

“Your little witch has a surprise for you my guardian of Asgard ..” bundles of energy came out of her hands and imprisoned Valk in a warm embrace that made her moan,

“Now it’s my turn” Wanda was above her, her eyes lit with lust, she kissed her passionately, biting her lower lip and passing her tongue over the edge of his lips before descending to her neck, the tongue leaving a trace of warmth and passion as she passed, Valk indulged in the magic of she and she lost herself in lust as Wanda ran hands over her chest, took her breasts in her hands and squeezed gently, her nipples reacted to touch while her mouth sucked and licked her other breast, Valk’s arched and stroked her hair, a hand had slipped from stomach to her hips, her fingers stroked scars as they descended, causing them to flush with pleasure and making her moan and gasp,

“Open your legs for me Valkyrie "she whispered down to her excited pussy, Valk obeyed without hesitation, agile fingers teased her clit scratching the skin of her thighs, Wanda stopped for a second to look at her

” You’re the sexiest alien I’ve ever seen my guardian of Asgard “ and buried face between her legs, her soft lips rubbed on the clit making her scream, the tongue made its way into her, Valk planted the nails in the carpet, crossing her legs on the shoulders of Wanda who took her ass and lifted her, inserted two fingers into her cunt digging up to her G-spot, rubbing her tongue inside to the rhythm of her fingers deeper and deeper, the energy amplifying every touch and the orgasm swept over her like a river in flood, she arched at most screaming her name like a prayer.

Wanda came away from her, sit next to her and hugged with transport, Valk turned to look at her and they kissed, a real kiss, of those romantic films,

"I believe of them I’m in love with you, my little witch, "she told her seriously,

” The thing is mutual, “Wanda replied, making the verse, burst into laughter and hugged on the carpet.

[wakeuplittlelucy]

I Don’t (Really) Want to be a Woman Pt. 1

First post of this blog specially dedicated to @mainlyusedforwalking It’s a tad long, but it would mean a lot to me if you read it, whenever you have time. I thank you in advance.

Beware reader, very tall Text Wall ahead.

I am happy as a man. That’s the reality of things. Honestly, I don’t think I would go through the whole HRT and much less the SRS processes. The latter because I love my male reproductive organs so it would be something I would undoubtedly regret forever. The former because I also love my appearance as a man. I am a fairly handsome man and, as with my penis and balls, I could never bid farewell to my beard for good, being something I had been longing to have since I was a teenager. And even if I didn’t love my beard that much, I am also very lazy, I prefer to spend the so-hard-to-come-by money on other stuff and I would also be too scared of the multiple side effects.

So why am I here? Why have I opened a Tumblr blog named “Etelin Sissy Slut”? Why do I surf and jerk off to sissy Tumblrs and sissy videos from time to time? Well, this is my story.

I don’t know if I ever dressed up as a girl when I was a kid. I have a very vague recollection that I might have once put on one of my mum’s dresses in front of the bathroom’s mirror while she was away but, even if it is not what is called a false memory and it did really happen, it must have been a one-time only event, as I don’t have any other similar memory nor remember any cravings or desires of dressing, behaving or relating to the opposite sex. I once wanted to play with a cousin’s Barbie doll and she wouldn’t lend it to me, so my mum bought one for me. And that was the end of that. I lost interest in the Barbie doll as soon as I had one of my own and went back to playing with little green, plastic soldiers, dinosaurs and Dragon Ball Z and Toy Story figures. I also had a very open-minded and liberal education from the two of my parents, so there was never a need to hide or repress any cravings or desires to either dress up or play with toys or do activities related to the opposite sex, as the Barbie doll episode proved. I never related to female characters in movies or TV shows and, whenever there was a time to dress up I always chose to dress as the male characters I admired. So that’s what it was like for most of my childhood.

I began to explore my sexuality very early and from that time on I knew I was bisexual. Due to my liberal and atheist upbringing I never had any problem nor conflict with it. Like many boys, the only sort of sexual experiences I had during my late childhood, preteen years and early adolescence were with a handful and very close male friends. And it was there were I eventually realised that, in a homosexual experience, I preferred to bend over and be the bottom. But I preferred to receive head. I didn’t mind to give head as some sort of “fair” exchange but I preferred if it was them instead of me going down. So, as you can see, there isn’t a specific set of rules when it comes to pleasurable and consensual human sexuality, as many sissy blogs out there will have you believe. Actually, for what I have seen so far, I think I fall into some sort of middle ground in the spectrum that has completely submissive sissy fetish rethoric on one side and fair, rationalised, not sexualised and not objectified transgender theory and rights on the other.

Anyway. My childhood ended and then my preteen years arrived and hormones started to kick in with all their might. I liked and desired girls of my age. And then, one day, I realised my still hairless, white and soft-skinned, slim body could actually resemble that of the girls I so-ardently desired. A transgender girl told me recently on a chat the name for that when a man gets turned on by the thought of picturing himself as a hot woman, which isn’t the same as actual gender dysphoria but, alas, I have forgotten. Maybe one of you few people reading this will know and refresh my memory. Anyhoo, it wasn’t long until I started to have fantasies of laying on my back on a bed while a circle of hung men would jerk off and cum all over my naked, soft, girl-like, white and slim body while I jerked off two of them. Still, I think I had that fantasy only once but it undoubtedly implied having me completely bathed in gallons of hot cum. And I still get hard at the thought of that. Beyond that, I still had tons of fantasies of all sorts with girls and I had no desire to dress up as a girl, act girly or put on make up. So my bisexuality was pretty well-balanced, I’d dare to say.

When I turned 14 I had a single, brief sexual encounter with a male friend of mine. We jerked off and went down on each other and didn’t do anything else until we were 17. In the few months and maybe a year after our 14-years old encounter we talked a lot about going further and I used to picture him fucking me from behind with the two of us kneeled on the bed. Back then he was taller than me and had a tanned, more manly body. So in these fantasies I would picture him fucking me and holding me as he would fuck and hold a woman. I pictured myself with more feminine curves than I actually had, with long hair that I was starting to grow and I would picture myself turning my neck to one side and my head back to him while I’d raise my arms and place them behind to caress his head to the rhythm of the pounding he’d be giving me. Yes, I also get hard remembering that fantasy. And then, about a couple of years later, I first pictured myself as a fully dressed girl.

As our 17-years old encounter approached, my fantasy now involved us rushing up the stairs to my flat, passionately fondling each other, pretty much like Nola and Chris in Woody Allen’s Match Point, which I had just recently watched at the movie theatre and loved. But, this time, the fantasy involved a full-on feminine version of myself, dressed as a hot schoolgirl with a red, Scotland-style, pleated skirt and spotless white schoolgirl blouse. Feminine face features, curves and make up included. Fucking the hot schoolgirl fantasy had already been a common fantasy of mine as a man (or teenage boy, rather) for many years but now I was picturing me as the actual hot schoolgirl. The next part of my fantasy involved me having him laying on his back on the bed with me on top and wearing an elegant dress and having longer, more feminine hair than I had back then, which was barely reaching shoulders’ length.

I never bought the skirt, or any sort of feminine attire and much less make up. I was tempted many times of going to any sex shop and buying typical hot schoolgirl couture, a few specifically anal-designed dildos and lube but I never could sum up the courage to do it and the fear of the clerk realising all that stuff was for me to wear and use rather than for some fictitious girlfriend of mine was always more powerful than the hots I had to do it. During those years I once told my father about the homosexual affairs I had had with a friend during my preteen and early teenage years. He was ok with it and even joked about taking me to the mall to buy feminine clothes for me even without me telling him about the crossdressing fantasies. I just laughed it off. He laughed it off and we’ve seldom talked about any of that again. I know he would never be embarrassed of me, as long as he knows I am happy but, despite the pals trust that existed and still exists between us that was something just way too private for me to share with anyone. I fashioned once a plated skirt with paper sheets. Yes, paper sheets. But that was the end of that as well.

The day of the 17-years old encounter with my friend arrived. It was kind of meh. He tried to penetrate me with a condom on without any sort of lube. The only lube I had, though water-based, caused irritation in the anal area, as I had found out when I used it once with a home-fashioned dildo. The penetration turned difficult and it felt a bit painful and I wouldn’t let him fuck me without a condom on as he would have had it. Now I know he didn’t have any STDs but back then he didn’t want to get tested, so, as lovely @mainlyusedforwalking says, Mr. Anxiety was more powerful than Ms. Hungry-for-Cock haha Or something like that, I’m paraphrasing. So that was that, and that was my last sexual encounter with him to date. In the following months we talked a lot about going further. He insisted on fucking me without a condom on. He wanted me to give him head and wanted me to swallow his cum. I told him I was in for all that but I insisted on him getting tested for STDs. I had a recent test and I was clean. Still, he wouldn’t oblige. I told him that, without an STDs test, he could only fuck me with a condom on and that I would give him head just with a condom on. I told him he could cum all over my body as much as he wanted and wherever he so desired, as long as his cum didn’t entered my body but he didn’t care for that. He just wanted to fuck my two holes bare and wanted me to swallow his cum. Conversely, I didn’t care much about having him fuck me or going down on him with a condom on but I really, really wanted to have his cum all over my body. Specially over my hairless and soft flat belly, my back, my arched lower back, my asscheeks, my face and my hair. Heck, I would have used his cum as body lotion and as hair cream hahaha But it all got to the point where it felt as a business talk, as a transaction of sorts and it just waned from there. I briefly considered charging him and got very tempted and even turned on by the idea but pride and self-respect got the better of me and ultimately didn’t feel good with that, so I never suggested it.

My last sexual encounters with another man happened shortly after, a few months before turning 18. They happened with the friend with whom it all began, who was born on the same year as me but by that point I think he had turned 18 already. They were only two encounters, one very brief but very hot and pleasurable and the other also brief but a bit painful. The two of them happened within the same week or month. I think the painful one came first. It involved me on top of him. We were in a rush because we could be discovered at any given time. He was the only one I allowed to come (and cum, though he never did that, alas) inside me without a condom on. I knew his record better and in any case I think this time Ms. Hungry for Cock overturned Mr. Fear and Anxiety. Still, the penetration proved difficult and painful for me. I think I enjoyed more the fact that my hair was longer now and thus I as a bit closer to my fantasy. Anyway, we weren’t really getting anywhere, so we called it off. The second and last encounter had us lying on the bed, covered by the sheets as it was cold and pretending to be watching a movie or something on the telly. A 14-year old cousin of mine was on the computer close to us but still my friend managed to cover his hard cock in lube, take the back of my pants down, spoon me and slide his wet, hot and hard shaft completely inside of me. I gasped, my cousin turned at us, gave us a quick, evil grin and turned back to his own business on the computer screen, which was one of the only two sources of light in the dark room. My bowels must have been completely empty as my friend’s cock not only sled in rapidly and easily but I also felt a pleasure I think I had never felt with anal up to that point and that most likely I have never felt again with any of my makeshift home dildos since then. Sadly he went out almost immediately, as we couldn’t go much further anyway. We didn’t know how much would my cousin turn the blind eye and there were other people in the house that could enter the room at any moment. And that, dear friends, was my last sexual encounter with another man as a passive bottom up to this day, nearly ten years later.

Over time my interest in having sex with other men, getting penetrated, covered in cum, or even picturing myself as a woman faded. I soon lost my virginity to another woman and my sexuality veered towards women almost exclusively. I never felt ashamed for my past experiences with men nor considered myself as having become fully heterosexual and I still was an avid reader of gay sex tales, specially those involving teenage adventures in which the writer was the passive, “female-like” bottom counterpart. But I didn’t have much desire of going down that road again, at least for the period of time from my 18 to my 23-24 years which was when I came to discover... that’s right: Tumblr sissy blogs.

Gosh, this quite a long post already. It is also a bit late and I’m a bit hungry so I should fetch some dinner and go to sleep soon. So I think I will call this post “I Don’t (Really) Want to be a Woman Pt. 1″ and call it a day. It’ll be good to see if the hashtags (and the only tag) make someone read this humongous wall of text and get interested in my story. But for sure I’ll post Pt 2 even if I don’t get any feedback anyway hahaha But I wanted to give some sort of intro (no matter how long and boring) before starting to reblog all the hot stuff.

About what’s going to be posted on this blog: I’ll mostly reblog all the hot stuff I find around related to this blog’s subject matter may it be from sissy or crossdressing blogs or heterosexual porn blogs. As long as I find it hot, I’ll reblog it over here with proper credit for whom credit is due. I might also season it with a bit of stuff from more serious transgender blogs here and there, hoping I’m not offending anybody, as people running those blogs don’t usually like to see their stuff reblogged to fetish blogs, which is quite understandable. I’ll also elaborate further on the sort of stuff you’ll be seeing around here on another post.

About original content: Currently I have very few pictures of me dressed up, as I don’t have clothing nor make up of my own. But fret not, I will post them all and you’ll be able to find them with the hashtag #me and with hashtags of my feminine name and of this blog’s name. Actually, I might attach one of the pictures to this post or upload it immediately after. And yes, all of them are quite recent, taken just a few months ago.

If you’ve made it all the way down here, I am extremely thankful for your attention. It took me like four hours (interrupted) to write and revise all this but still, I apologise for making it such a long post. Believe me, there’ll be very few text walls around.

Be most welcome. Yours truly,

Etelin Sissy Slut

PS Yes, I made up the name Etelin. Don’t remember how, but I liked it from the beginning. Do you?

[midnightliar]

the beautiful, luminous, inimitable @violaeade​ tagged me for 50 book questions!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

oh maybe everything leads to you by nina lacour! it just really gets to me

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

uhh idk what’s the longest harry potter book bc probably that? i dont... read books that long usually

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

ummm i think and then there were none by agatha christie? i dont keep track by time tbh but i dont read that many old books bc i tend to have trouble reading them

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

the raven cycle lol

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

oh god most of them? 99% of the lesbian ones for sure. percy jackson would make an excellent animated movie series imo. i’m clearly biased but tasu/teota would be great on screen. 

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

most of the gay ones i read are standalones and theres so many good ones... i already said everything leads to you but we are okay and you know me well are also extremely good! of fire and stars killed me as well. 

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

god. straight ones? ones that i heard are racist or homo/lesbo/bi/transphobic, but in general i’m picky abt what i read bc i don’t read that many books.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

i was gonna say i don’t feel guilty about not reading books i don’t like/don’t want to but that’s a lie- babe if ur reading this i am SO sorry i never finished the last chaos walking book

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

most of them lol that’s what i get for living in america. i read we are okay pretty recently which takes place in new york, the state i was born in, so that’s a bit more specific.

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have 2 copies of redwall for no reason other than my high school library was selling one for a dollar so i bought it even tho i had it already. i have a couple copies of some of the a wrinkle in time books bc i got some of them as gifts a bunch. 

11. What horror book made you really scared?

omg i don’t read horror but that one skulduggery pleasant short story about bubba moon or whatever freaked me the fuck out tbh

12. What book do you passionately hate?

um i haven’t read enough terrible books to say i hate them that passionately? but i rly kinda hated trc. oh yeah i read the first c*aptive pr*nce book in hs on the recommendation of a friend and it just made me so uncomfortable the entire time i really. did not have a good time with that one and i wish i hadn’t read it

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

skulduggery pleasant! theres 9 books plus short stories i still can’t believe i read all those

14. What book gives you happy memories?

aw sabrina answered this with the flywheel by erin gough and i have to say the same bc she sent it to me for my birthday, full of annotations of thoughts and jokes she made herself AND got it signed by the author, and i’ve uhhhh never felt so loved in my life

15. What book made you cry?

oh the book thief for sure. everything leads to you made me cry a bunch while rereading it even tho its not sad? thos were love tears. that happens a lot actually.

16. What book made you laugh?

skulduggery pleasant! there’s so many good lines in that one. my dad used to always hand me a book he’d just read and tell me to read a certain chapter he found hilarious but i never read the whole book but he always found hilarious memoirs too.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lmaoo like all the books i read are gay? the abyss surrounds us/the edge of the abyss have really unique lesbian characters because they’re so angry and vindictive and dumb and interesting and DRAMATIC so that one gets a shout out

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

what the fuck is that (ok i legit just finished reading when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore tho bc my gf rec’d it and it was p good)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

does fantasy count? bc then of fire and stars. uhh chaos walking is on a new planet. a wrinkle in time involves other planets too! wow i’m crushing this one

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

the raven cycle lol i thought it was a finished trilogy when i started the first book so i just never read the last one and i am so relieved

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

not really? i don’t really feel pressure, i value recommendations from my girlfriend friends way more than things that are trending or popular. i’ve read a couple that i blindly picked from internet lists that i didn’t care for tho but that was really a while ago

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

pretty much any author we were supposed to read in high school. any classic or even modern famous author i probably haven’t read. i’ve read like a dozen books ever

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

tbh nina lacour is really up there. when i was really young it was definitely gail carson levine. i rly loved anne ursu’s books as well.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

only one! and a bunch of boxes that i never unpacked after we moved like 3 years ago. my mom wants to put a big wall bookshelf in our house somewhere bc this one didn’t come with any like our last house did but who knows if that’ll happen.

25. How many books do you own?

are u trying to make me count?

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

ohhh i don’t read much of this genre. i always avoided it as a kid and i’ve been meaning to get into it more but i haven’t yet. i’m really looking forward to reading a sally ride biography tho

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

the chronus chronicles by anne ursu were my JAM in elementary/middle school omg. i also really loved the may bird series which i didn’t read until high school.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

i’m about to start georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit finally! my gf bought me 10 things i can see from here and i love her so whenever that arrive i’m probably gonna devour that. i want to reread a wrinkle in time soon since the trailer comes out this weekend! plus a million others

29. What book are you currently reading?

i literally just finished when the moon was ours which felt like it took me ten years to read and i haven’t started another yet but it’ll be georgia peaches bc thats the other one i got from the library and i already had to renew them haha

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

um this old west lesbian novel called backwards to oregon! i’ve been craving westerns lately but as always i’m also craving gay content

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

i used to buy a ton of old paperbacks, usually goofy looking sf or fantasy novels from library sales for dollars or quarters so definitely those.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i can tell u the most expensive book i got for free was a beautiful bound collection of hg wells stories that i just got from some book at bea before it was bookcon lol

ones i actually paid for... do art books count??

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

nah i usually have no intention of reading the book if i watched the show/movie first

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

akdjghksjgh a lesbian western novella called from the boots up for a few bucks on kindle

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

the rest of the gay books i’ve bought but haven’t read yet! not your sidekick and labyrinth lost, i’m VERY excited to reread a wrinkle in time and i also really want to read stone butch blues

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

crush by sr silcox has the cutest lesbian teen summer romance AND one them is secretly a rock star avoiding her fame bc her controlling dad was turning into HIS dream instead of HERS akdjghksdjgh its fantastic i adored it

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

oh no i’m dumb as hell

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

for some reason dave at night by gail carson levine popped into my head first? that was my favorite as a kid and i reread it all the time and i think it took place in the 20s or 30s with all that good good jazz shit

39. What book offended you?

hm not sure how to answer this one

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

idk the may bird series was pretty weird. gone by michael grant? i read the first for a high school book club and i just could not get into it or understand it even a little

41. What is your favourite duology?

ditty the abyss surrounds us & the edge of the abyss !!

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

wow i really haven’t read that many trilogies esp ones i loved. i guess may bird or the chronus chronicles then!

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

the maze runner! also bc i heard it was good but i hated that book so

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

honestly i can’t think of one rn

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nope! i also hated poetry as a kid and have only tried to get into it recently. i have a book of sappho’s fragments and i want to get tracy k smith from the library but thats about it

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

thats possible

48. What book made you angry?

the maze runner really did?? for some reason and i don’t get mad that much but it just really had me steamin. sabrina also said grasshopper jungle and i’m inclined to say same lmao. i haven’t read it but seeing all the lesbophobia in not otherwise specified recently made me really mad and also upset

49. What book has inspired you?

aw inspired is a serious word to throw around. the miseducation of cameron post, idk if it “inspired” me but it was my first lesbian novel and that really did a lot for me.

50. What book got you into reading?

i think it was a wrinkle in time! or maybe roald dahl books before that, but a wrinkle in time was definitely up there, and maybe the shadow thieves by anne ursu

i’m tagging @reading-takes-you-places and @mywomensworld and anyone who wants to! i don’t talk to many people here but if you follow me and want to, go for it!

[bemystucky]

AU!Robin Hood (Part III)

Prompt/Summary: This story is for @hunters-from-stark-tower’s movie!AU challenge. The story is set in the world of Robin Hood (Disney) but only loosely follows the plot. It is a modern-ish take. The reader will be a new character in the movie and not a spin-off of one of the characters.

Characters/Pairings: Clint Barton x f!Reader, Nat, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Steve, Tony, Nick Fury and Bruce.

Warnings: Swearing, Angst

Word Count: 1307

Author’s Note: OK FRIENDS. I’M EXTREMELY SORRY FOR LACK OF UPDATE LAST WEEK BUT HERE IS ONE. I’m steadily trying to improve my quality of writing again and I hope I don’t disappoint. For any newcomers, I swear I can write better than this. There are no excuses (though I have tons in my head). Hope you stick around if you like what you see :)

Part I | Part II | Part III

Previous Part:

As Maria left and a guard came back in, Nat looked at Clint. It was obvious that they had already made up their minds. They needed their rest because Maria was right. No matter what they chose, tomorrow would be one hell of a day.

--

In the Forest Shack

Morning came and (Y/N) was feeling better. Not at her best but good enough that she could function like a normal human being. After a quick breakfast, Sam and (Y/N) left the shack in search of Clint and Nat. Their only clue as to Clint and Nat’s whereabouts was that they had been tortured. There were only so many possibilities to their whereabouts, and barely an hour in, (Y/N) was beginning to feel incapable.

“Sam. I can’t feel them anymore. What the hell does that mean?”

“What do you mean you can’t feel them? That makes no sense! You have that connection to Clint! It doesn’t just give out right?” Sam was perplexed and he hated being perplexed. “Let’s ask around and see if anyone has noticed them pass by. He’s Robin Hood! Someone’s bound to have noticed. Right?”

(Y/N) agreed and the two spent the next two hours scouring the streets for any information on Clint and Nat.

At the end of their two hour mark, the pair was close to giving up. But then they bumped into a young girl by the name of Marian.

Marian had been present at the time of the dispute between Clint and Pierce. Before Clint had gotten caught, he had dropped off a heavy penny for Marian’s family, whom he had seen struggling with daily resources before.

When Marian saw (Y/N) and Sam asking around for Robin Hood, she bound up to (Y/N) and tugged on her sleeve.

“Miss! Are you looking for Robin Hood?” she whispered.

“Yes!” (Y/N) nodded enthusiastically. “Do you have news?”

“He and a girl were taken by Prince Alexander and his men. I think they were taken back to the castle! Hope this helps!” Marian smiled brightly and skipped off to her mother, completely missing the blood drain from (Y/N)’s face.

“Th-the castle. Sam. The castle. We are not equipped for a successful rescue mission from the fucking castle!” (Y/N) began to panic. It was just the two of them. There was no way they could get in and out without being noticed. And especially not if they had to carry two other injured humans. And, if they were found out, their whole plan of reinstating the King would be foiled!

The pros and cons weighted heavily in her mind. She was lost in her train of thought when Sam snapped his fingers in front of her.

“We can do it. If you’re not feeling their pain anymore, that means that they’re not being tortured right? That’s a good sign.”

“I don’t know Sam… What if we can’t pull it off and I screw up everything for everyone?”

“OK listen. Let’s just take it step by step. We’ll make our way to the castle. We try our best. If we don’t get far enough or if we feel that it’s too risky, we back out. Clint and Nat can handle themselves. I’m sure they’re working on an escape plan as we speak.”

(Y/N) stood silently and considered what Sam said. He was right. If they took the mission as merely an opportunity to scope out the surroundings for future purposes, they would have ample opportunity to back out. It was low risk and safe.

(Y/N) nodded and grinned at Sam.

“You are one smart cookie.” Sam rolled his eyes affectionately.

“No one says that (Y/N).”

“They will one day! It’ll be quite popular. I’m just ahead of my time.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say. Let’s go before it’s too late.”

Meanwhile In the Castle

As the sun rose, Maid Wanda and her lady-in-waiting, Maria, rose as well. Maria helped Wanda get dressed in comfortable civilian clothing underneath her gowns for smooth transitioning into disguising themselves. The pair went to breakfast with the Prince as usual, and Maria was excused by Wanda to “clean the bedroom”. However, she made her way to the dungeon where the guard immediately let her in.

Surveying her surroundings, she found Clint and Natasha to be awake, their mind seemingly made up. With haste, she asked them what their decision was.

“We will take you up on your offer,” Clint said. Maria nodded. Mutely, she let the outlaws out of their restraints and tossed them a ready-made bag, full of hot foods and clean clothes. The two had been friends for so long that they had no qualms changing right there and then, and Maria could only turn her head to the side.

After they changed, they each took some toast and fruit out of the bag, before Maria slung the bag over her shoulder. Next, she tossed Clint and Nat the equipment that had been stripped from them the day before.

“How did you-?” Nat started.

“Don’t worry about it. Use it only if you must. You don’t want to leave your marks in the castle, or they will trace it back to your location.” Clint and Nat nodded in understanding. Both had great hand-to-hand combat skills regardless of their weaponry.

Munching on their toast, the trio made their way down the hall, where Wanda stood waiting.

“There is a tunnel through here, but it leads right out into the foyer of the castle. At this time, there should be no guards but the daily routine of the castle changes without warning. Remember, we resort to combat only if we must,” said Wanda.

Clint and Nat nodded in agreement, slightly dazed at the fact that they had been let out of the dungeons without issue. At first, they thought the guard had been bribed, but it seemed as though he had no emotion. Both sensed a weird aura surrounding Wanda when they had first met, and though they had no idea what the weirdness was, it left the pair uneasy.

Maria opened the tunnel door, and the four slipped through the narrow opening with ease. However, Clint and Nat were unprepared for the utter darkness and silence that followed the closing of the door. Neither wanted the silence to continue, but neither were ready for the disruption of it. A slight rustling of clothes was heard, a signal that Wanda had shed her gowns.

A match struck, and suddenly, a flash of light filled the tunnel. It took some getting used to, but the four pairs of eyes quickly adapted to the small source of light. In single file, the four runaways travelled through the passage without the match burning out.

Before they knew it, they had arrived to the other end of the tunnel. Wanda peered through a small hole that she had left on the door during one of her many uses of the tunnel. Seeing no imminent threat, she slowly slid the door open.

The four pushed out of the narrow doorway once more, and Maria extinguished the match immediately. As the last one through, Clint closed the door, memorizing every detail of their journey, should he ever need to use it again.

As the four runaways made an attempt for the door, a low booming voice interrupted them.

“Halt! Who are you?” a young guard had found them out. A muttered curse came from Wanda’s maiden mouth, a shock to Clint and Nat.

“Plan B. C’mon. No time to waste. Run!” with that, she took off away from the door, into another corridor (this one less private), and then another. The three others followed at her heels, weaving between guards and servant onlookers.

“What the hell is plan B?” Clint panted.

“Alternate exit.”

“Why didn’t we use that before?”

“You’ll see.” Clint shared a look with Nat; one that said that can’t be good. But neither questioned Wanda, for she was their only hope at escape.

So without missing a step, the quartet sprinted deeper and deeper into the castle grounds, the dramatic voice of the young guard chasing after them.

Thoughts?

Tagging (let me know if you want to be untagged): @pleasecallmecaptain@crownie-sr @writing-soldiers @hotmessofafangirl@wowhowawkwardisthat @sebstan01 @writingruna @you-and-bucky@sinbad1229 @the-real-tony-stank @theartofbeingmilla @smol-flower-kiddo @marvelfanfichq @mylittlefandomfanfictions@tempestinatea-cup @harrypotter2611 @shamvictoria11 @emmaplum@annadier @23aprliee @imagine-assembling-the-avengers 

[tomatoluvr69]

Tag Nine People You’d Like To Get To Know Better!

I was tagged by the delightful @deer-tongue whose vibes are unparalleled ✨ by the way I ADORE every single thing you post from your park attendant job— I am living vicariously through you. It makes me very happy. And I very recently connected the dots about a certain special side blog...........it makes me mugly cry every time I see it. <3

(EDIT: I saw once I pressed post that the lovely @by-thunder had tagged me as well, while I was drafting this post to my weary stenographer. You are GALAXY brained and you always make me laugh and better yet, feel pain in the ’cord. Thanks for the tag :) )

Last song: my last song was the song Run That Body Down by Paul Simon which is, in my opinion, criminally underrated. It’s one of my absolute top numbers the guy ever did. Also, by serendipitous coincidence, a few hours ago I was trying to search the song to reblog (to no avail, rip)....only to find a text post from @deer-tongue herself about this song and MASH. Go figure, small world!! 🤯😮 but yeah, it’s pretty nice :) runners-up are Gone Baby, Don’t Be Long by Erykah Badu, whom I love much more dearly than Paul Simon. Sorry to paul and to my anachronistic vintage media mutuals I’m an imposter. And the second runner-up is Do You Love Me? Part 2 by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds. Again, I’m an imposter here.......

Last movie: My last movie was Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid, which I watched last night after a three week no movie stretch that happened by accident. (I did try to watch Venom in that time, but it didn’t stick. Sorry to my brother, who suggested it. Marvel ain’t for me, kiddo. Also get off my blog you’re not allowed to see me like this). I LOVE Butch Cassidy (which my phone has been trying to autocorrect to bitch, so I guess I’ve finally trained it) since I saw it sr year of high school I think? It’s a rare film that you can easily follow along when you’re deeply entrenched in a no thoughts head empty, but is also stunningly beautiful and a real work of art. And Paul Newman my absolute,....,,, uh you get the picture.

Currently reading: ah. You got me there. I adore reading, and have done quite a lot of it, but you know when you’re going to a mental health intake visit and they ask you if you’re losing interest slash motivation in the things you used to enjoy? Well. I’ve been having trouble reading books lately, and it doesn’t help that my library access is pretty pandemic limited. I tried to reread Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, but the brain fog side effect/symptom I’ve been having lately made the prose really inaccessible and I wound up returning it ☹️ last one I finished though was The Likeness by Tana French. LOVED it. OH AND I’m currently working through (at an absolutely glacial pace, sorry you two) two MASH fics: After You/Because Of You (x) by @fieryphrazes and tell all the stars above (x) by @bigyellowtaxis which I wholeheartedly recommend.

Currently watching: this may be surprising but MASH. there’s nothing else, and hasn’t been for many months. I’m extremely bad at consuming TV and it was literally only the structure afforded by MeTV’s daily two episodes that allowed me to finish mash. I haven’t even finished most of the other shows I consider to be all-time favorites. Oops. OH but I did watch my first episode of columbo tonight :) what a funky guy

Currently craving: a sense of stability 😤😔 jkjk I know it’s food. Food’s a bit haywire for me right now but I am always on board for salmon, iced coffee, thai green curry w/kabocha, a bagel sandwich with capers and lox, or anything gochujang, espresso, or lemon. OH actually nevermind. I’m craving fresh strawberries. I’m always craving fresh strawberries. Sourdough bread. Kombucha. Thai tea. Okay I’ll shut up now. Mustard greens, potato leek soup, broccoli, garden fresh tomatoes all warm from the sun—

Tagging: I have seen this post going around and am absolutely lousy at keeping track, plus I think a bunch of folks have been tagged and haven’t done it yet as well so!!! I’m doing the classic cop-out, only it’s not a cop-out it’s a goddamn invitation!!!! So if you’re dying to do it PLEASE do it and you are more than welcome to tag me!!! Yes you!!! The girl reading this (gender neutral)!!!!! I would LOVE to read more about my followers even if we don’t talk!!!!!! :-) and go read the fics I linked ok bye :-)

[sandiegodjstaci]

The Hipster's Guide to Classic Country Music

The Hipster's Guide to Classic Country Music

Let’s face it…if your mountain man beard, microbrew fetish, and pipe collection are no longer enough, classic country music can help you get to the next level of hipster (so can a pair of Wrangler jeans). My name is DJ Staci, the Track Star, and I grew up on country music. I lived on a 5-acre llama ranch just outside of Seattle during the grunge era…do you see how there’s a hipster seed in there? I knew I was not your standard redneck when, at 14, my dad’s hunting drew me towards vegetarianism (celebrating 26 meat-free years now). At 18, I pierced my nose and moved to southern California where I could eat tofu, get feminism tattoos, and vote for democrats in a diverse, shame-free environment…but that country music seed definitely grew roots throughout my childhood. In fact, during my 20s, I escaped my days of drinking expensive juice and visiting organic farmer’s markets by honky tonkin’ every week. I would go line dancing at the Brandin’ Iron Saloon in San Bernardino (the biggest & best honky tonk a.k.a. country bar west of Gilley’s…and watch John Travolta & Debra Winger in “Urban Cowboy” if you don’t understand either of those references).

  Memes from We Hate Pop Country

  Unfortunately, country music withered up and died after the 2000s. After DJing at the world’s largest country music festival (Stagecoach–the country cousin of Coachella), I had to stop listening to country music on the radio. The so-called country you hear on the radio today is known as “pop country” by country music purists (those of us who prefer classic country or “real” country). The artists who “ruined” country music are people like Taylor Swift, Sam Hunt, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, & Luke Bryant (and many others). Follow “We Hate Pop Country” on Facebook to learn more.

If you like “Wake Me Up” by Avicii, “Honey I’m Good” by Andy Grammer, “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons, “The Country Death Song” by the Violent Femmes, “Easy” by Sheryl Crow, “Wish I Knew You” by the Revivalists, “Wagon Wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Show, or Philip Phillips, classic country will be a great fit. If watching the movie Walk the Line turned you into a Johnny Cash fan, rest assured there is plenty more music like that out there. If you resonate as a defiant outsider or a feminist or a government-hating pothead, classic country music welcomes you with open arms! Classic country is outlaw music–pure and simple. It was created by people who knew they were on the outskirts of mainstream society and unshakingly flipped it the bird à la Johnny Cash at San Quentin (below).

  Johnny Cash after photographer Jim Marshall asked him to do a shot for the warden (San Quentin Prison – 1969)

  Did you know Loretta Lynn, who sang the feminist anthem “The Pill,” & Jack White from the White Stripes, who also has some killer bluegrass tunes, created an album together? Did you know Johnny Cash has covered songs by Nine Inch Nails and Depeche Mode? Have you heard Lady Gaga’s country roads version of “Born This Way?” Did you know Beyonce has a kick ass collab with the Dixie Chicks (the girl-power Texas band who was banned from country radio for saying they were ashamed that George Bush is from their home state) called “Daddy Lessons”? Did you know the black lead singer of Hootie & the Blowfish bailed on the band so he could start a solo country music career (country fans know him as Darius Rucker)? Did you know when I DJ classic country parties, I have to ask the client if swear words are OK?

Do I have your attention now? I thought so. Let’s continue 🙂 You’ll love the country artists as much as you love their music–I promise.

  Justin Timberlake & Chris Stapleton performing together at the 49th Country Music Association Awards

  THE KING OF COUNTRY MUSIC

First, let’s start with the forefather of all country music kick-assery: Hank Williams. Hank signed to MGM Records in 1947 and his twangy anthems changed country music forever. He was famously fired by the Grand Ole Opry in 1952 after one of many no-shows. He lived a turbulent life that his son Hank Jr sings about in his cornerstone song “Family Tradition.” In true rock star style, Hank Sr. died of heart failure brought on by prescription drug abuse and alcoholism in 1953. Hipster-friendly Hank Williams songs include:

I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry

Hey Good Lookin’

Jambalaya (on the Bayou)

Tear in my Beer

Your Cheating Heart

  TOP 125 CLASSIC COUNTRY SONGS FOR HIPSTERS

Pour yourself some Popcorn Sutton’s Tennessee White Whiskey (that’s legal moonshine for you city slickers) & get ready for some serious drinkin’ music free of “Friends in Low Places,” “Achy Breaky Heart,” “Boot Scootin’ Boogie,” “Old Town Road,” and “The Git Up.” I’ve includes lots of notes & trivia about the playlist songs because we hipsters can’t just enjoy music in a vacuum…we like to sound like a seasoned expert when putting on a playlist for friends, yes? I’ve included standards as well as a number of “B sides” that will even impress country music enthusiasts…you know the kind of people who still say “Country Western.”

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18 Wheels & a Dozen Roses, Kathy Mattea

9 to 5, Dolly Parton

A Boy Named Sue, Johnny Cash

All My Exes Live in Texas, George Strait

Amarillo by Morning, George Strait

Are You Ready for the Country, Waylon Jennings

Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way?, Waylon Jennings (Referring to Hank Williams Sr.)

Back Where I Come From, Kenny Chesney

Bed You Made for Me, Highway 101

Before Country Was Cool, Barbara Mandrell

Born to Boogie, Hank Williams Jr. (Hank Sr’s son)

Chattahoochee, Alan Jackson

Church on Cumberland Road, Shenandoah

Coal Miner’s Daughter, Loretta Lynn (Watch her biographical movie “Coal Miner’s Daughter” staring Sissy Spacek!)

Coat of Many Colors, Dolly Parton

Copenhagen, Chris Le Deux (Yep, chew killed this underground country singer with a cult following. His catchy, hilarious love song to Copenhagen chewing tobacco is like a country version of “Can’t Feel My Face” or “Mary Jane.”)

Copperhead Road, Steve Earle (Listen carefully…After coming home from war, this soldier gives up on the family tradition of making moonshine because he realized when he was in Viet Nam that he could just grow weed instead.)

Country Boy Can Survive, Hank Williams Jr.

Country Club, Travis Tritt

Country Roads, Take Me Home, John Denver (Lucky if I get through this one without tearing up…)

Cowboy Take Me Away, Dixie Chicks

Crazy, Patsy Cline (Sadly, the anthem of Battered Woman’s Syndrome…Patsy was in a violent marriage at the height of her fame. Written by Willie Nelson.)

Cripple Creek, Earl Scruggs & Lester Flatt

Devil Went Down to Georgia, Charlie Daniels Band

Digging Up Bones, Randy Travis

Dixieland Delight, Alabama

Down at the Twist & Shout, Mary-Chapin Carpenter

Dueling Banjos, Roy Clark & Buck Owens

El Paso, Marty Robbins (After writing this song, Marty Robbins was flying over El Paso & had a revelation that he was the cowboy in the song in a past life…so he wrote “El Paso City” about that experience.)

Elvira, Oak Ridge Boys

Elvira, Oak Ridge Boys

Every Little Thing, Carlene Carter (Yep, June Carter’s daughter…she called Johnny Cash “Stepdad.” Roseanne Cash’s “Tennessee Flat Top Box” is also a good one.)

Family Tradition, Hank Williams Jr (A proud nod to his famous father…”Put yourself in my position–if I get stoned and sing all night long, it’s a family tradition.” When you hear this song at a honky tonk, know the customs! When Jr sings, “Why do you drink?” The crowd shouts back “To get drunk!” When Jr sings, “Why do you roll smoke?” The crowd shouts, “To get high!” When he sings, “Why must you act out the songs that you wrote?” The crowd shouts, “To get laid!”)

Fancy, Reba McEntire

Fishin’ in the Dark, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Flowers on the Wall, Statler Brothers

Folsom Prison Blues, Johnny Cash

Fool-Hearted Memory, George Strait (His first of SIXTY #1 hits–the most in country music history! Too many for this list but do check them out.)

Get a Rhythm, Johnny Cash

Guitars & Cadillacs, Dwight Yoakum (One of the few west coasters on the list…from Bakersfield, California — also a vegetarian!)

Have Mercy, Judds (A female country duo–mother & sister to famous actress Ashley Judd!)

Highway Man, The Highwaymen (The Highwaymen are Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, & Kris Kristofferson.)

Hillbilly Rock, Marty Stewart

Honky Tonk Man, Dwight Yoakum

Hooked on an 8-Second Ride, Chris Le Deux (Pronounced “Le Doo”)

Hot Rod Lincoln, Commander Cody

I Ain’t Livin’ Long Like This, Waylon Jennings

I Love a Rainy Night, Eddie Rabbitt

I Think I’ll Just Sit Here & Drink, Merle Haggard

I Walk the Line, Johnny Cash

I’m No Stranger to the Rain, Keith Whitley

If You’re Gonna Play in Texas, Alabama

If You’ve Got the Money, Willie Nelson

If Your Heart Ain’t Busy, Tanya Tucker

It Only Hurts When I Cry, Dwight Yoakum

Jackson, Johnny Cash & June Carter

Jolene, Dolly Parton

Jose Cuervo, Shelly West

Kaw-Liga, Hank Williams Jr. (Hank Sr also does this one.)

Lay You Down, Conway Twitty

Long Time Gone, Dixie Chicks

Louisiana Saturday Night, Mel McDaniel

Luckenbach Texas, Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson

Mama Tried, Merle Haggard

Maybe It Was Memphis, Pam Tillis

Meet Me in Montana, Dan Seals

Midnight Girl in a Sunset Town, Sweethearts of the Rodeo

Mountain Music, Alabama

Mud on the Tires, Brad Paisley

Mule Skinner Blues, Dolly Parton

My Kind of Girl, Colin Raye

Next to You, Shenandoah

No Time to Kill, Clint Black

Nobody Wins, Radney Foster

Norma Jean Riley, Diamond Rio

One Piece at a Time, Johnny Cash

Only Daddy That’ll Walk the Line, Waylon Jennings

Orange Blossom Special, Johnny Cash

Pancho & Lefty, Willie Nelson & Merle Haggard

Papa Loved Mama, Garth Brooks

Past the Point of Rescue, Hal Ketchum

Pick-Up Man, Joe Diffie

Play Something Country, Brooks & Dunn

Redneck Girl, Bellamy Brothers (During the corresponding Redneck Girl line dance, when the song says, “A redneck girl got her name on the back of her belt,” dancers shout, “Bullshit! Bullshit! F— you!” When the song says, “She’s got a kiss on her lips for her man and no one else,” dancers repeat, “Bullshit! Bullshit! F— you!” When the song says, “A coyote’s howling out on the prairie,” dancers howl. Finally, the song says, “First comes love, then comes marriage.” After “love,” dancers interject, “Then sex!!!”)

Ring of Fire, Johnny Cash

Rockin’ With the Rhythm, Judds

Rodeo, Garth Brooks

Rough & Ready, Trace Adkins

Saturday Night Special, Conway Twitty (Yes, the same guy they famously poke fun at on “Family Guy”–see below)

Sin Wagon, Dixie Chicks

Smoky Mountain Rain, Ronnie Milsap

Sold, John Michael Montgomery

Some Girls Do, Sawyer Brown

Song of the South, Alabama

Stampede, Chris Le Deux

Stand by Your Man, Tammy Wynette

Straight Tequila Night, John Anderson

Streets of Bakersfield, Dwight Yoakum

Sweet Dreams of You, Patsy Cline

Tempted, Marty Stuart

Tennessee River & a Mountain Man, Alabama

Thank God I’m a Country Boy, John Denver (He’s an outspoken vegan and & rep for P.E.T.A #MeatlessMondays)

That Kind of Girl, Patty Loveless

That’s My Story, Collin Raye

That’s What I Like About You, Trisha Yearwood (She’s married to Garth Brooks & is a celebrity chef with a reality cooking show.)

The Gambler, Kenny Rogers

The Pill, Lorettta Lynn (Also check out her cover of Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Were Made for Walking.”)

The Race Is On, Sawyer Brown (or any of the older versions)

The Thunder Rolls, Garth Brooks

Ticks, Brad Paisley

Tight-Fittin’ Jeans, Conway Twitty

Tonight We Ride, Tom Russell (We played this at my dad’s funeral…definitely a “b side.”)

Tougher Than the Rest, Chris Le Deux

Tulsa Time, Don Williams

Two Feet of Topsoil, Brad Paisley

Walkin’ After Midnight, Patsy Cline (Check out the Cyndi Lauper cover!)

What Was I Thinkin,’ Dierks Bentley

When You Say Nothing At All, Keith Whitley (Alison Krauss’ version might be more popular though…)

Whiskey, If You Were a Woman, Highway 101

Why Not Me, Judds

Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks

Will the Circle Be Unbroken, dozens of versions

Wrong Side of Memphis, Trisha Yearwood

You Ain’t Woman Enough, Loretta Lynn

You Really Had Me Going, Holly Dunn

You’ve Never Been This Far Before, Conway Twitty

    There are a few current country artists with that classic country sound: Chris Stapleton, Brothers Osborn, some Miranda Lambert (try “Gunpowder & Lead” or “Little Red Wagon”), or Cody Jinks.

If you’re afraid country music is too white, straight, or conservative for you, check out Little Big Town’s “Girl Crush,” Maddie & Tae’s “Girl in a Country Song,” the Dixie Chicks’ “Goodbye Earl,” Los Lonely Boys’ “Heaven,” Kacey Musgraves’ “Follow Your Arrow,” Big & Rich’s “Love Train,” Garth Brooks’ “We Shall Be Free,” John Anderson’s “Seminole Wind,” or anything by Charlie Pride, Cowboy Troy, k.d. lang, or Freddie Fender.

If you enjoy a good DJ mix, I’m not the only one doing creative things with country music–check out DeeJay Silver, DJ Sinister’s Country Fried Mix, VDJ JD, DJ Bad Ash, or DJ Hish (who I was on the roster with at the Stagecoach Festival and the Moonshine Miles Festival).

Film enthusiast? In addition to watching Johnny Cash’s biographical Walk the Line, you can also try some of these country cult classics: Coal Miner’s Daughter (about Loretta Lynn), Urban Cowboy (with John Travolta & Debra Winger), Pure Country (starring George Strait), Sweet Dreams (about Patsy Cline), Eight Seconds (with Luke Perry)…as well as anything starring Dolly Parton (like 9 to 5 or Steel Magnolias) or Kris Kristofferson (like A Star Is Born or Blade). Dwight Yoakum has a few famous cameos as well (like Sling Blade or Crank). But the real question is: are they “acting” or just “acting natural”? Once you understand that reference, you officially get a gold star in the hipster country music Olympics!!! (Leave me your thoughts in the comments below.)

If you enjoyed the Hipster’s Guide to Classic Country Music, I urge you to explore bluegrass and folk music. And, yes, I know not every “staple” classic country jam is on the list (again, comment below). I also have my Guitar-Infused Country & Classic Rock Wedding Cocktail Hour Playlist and Ultimate Bluegrass Wedding Cocktail Hour & Dinner Music Playlist you can scope out. Some say “crank it up,” but, around here, we say “Hank it up!” Enjoy your hip classic country tunes! 

  LISTEN TO THE HIPSTER’S CLASSIC COUNTRY PLAYLIST

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