#man. it's rough. that's all i can say
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I find it interesting how mothers are something of a theme in this arc. And especially how Nightheart and Frostpaw's relationships with their mothers have more or less flipped by the end of Thunder. Nightheart started out thinking that Sparkpelt couldn't love him properly because she was more concerned with what she wanted him to be, and is now slowly understanding that she does love him and wants what's best for him. Meanwhile Frostpaw started out thinking Curlfeather adored her and would always put her first, when it turns out that all along Curlfeather was primarily concerned with how she could manipulate and use Frostpaw to her own advantage. Sunbeam is caught somewhere in the middle, fully aware now of how hateful and devious Berryheart can be and, while opposing her, still loves and pities her. Her feelings are complicated. (And I like how they manage to portray how hard it is to have a parent you love but still must stand against.)
#also sunbeam's relationship with her father isn't touched on much but when it is... boy it's relatable#he's softer with her and she wants to trust him and they're capable of having civil conversations#but it eventually becomes clear that even if he's gentle with her#he still 100% supports his mate and will stand by her to the end#when you have one parent who is openly a bigot and another who is very sweet to you while still standing with their partner#man. it's rough. that's all i can say#pigeon mews
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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now that the seven busiest days of the year are FINALLY over, I can get back to my Maximus insanity. here have a close-up of the hands and arms that make guest appearances in every daydream I have ever had
#fun fact: every night i am getting absolutely WRECKED by him in bed because we’re Married™️#i will have more to say tonight but honestly what more is there to say#hands hands hanDS HANDS HANDS HANDSSSDS#i need him to grip me like the fleeting glimpse of happiness#i need to hold onto him like he’s my last chance of joy#ohh how i have missed being on this blog every day all day#this is my entire support system#having a rough time so i think i might rewatch gladiator#no one is having as bad a time as maximus#so we can be sad and lonely together#and then happy and fulfilled together! *sobs*#but anyway#salivating rolling on the floor screeching at volumes previously unknown to man over this picture#i wish i were that white dust all over his hands#i wish i were on my knees between his legs looking up at him while he holds my face in his hands#I WOULD GIVE ANYTHING#TO MAKE HIM SMILE#TO SEE HIM LAUGH#TO FEEL HIS SWEET TOUCH#gonna have a full on mental breakdown over him#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#text posts
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
#man its rough when people who dont have anxiety have to ask a million questions that the answer is just The Anxiety#like im sorry i dont socialize or want to have a conversation while three other people are in the room talking#its just a lot of overstimulation ok im just suffering please stop asking me things...#i get the loop of im failing a social interaction in my brain which makes it harder to win at a conversation#like every normal person would consider conversations as something you can lose or fail or win (?)#had another coworker who ive only really seen ? but he argues with the one asking me about my hobbies n social life#and so i saw him today and he was i think probably training or showing another guy around#and he was real quick to say no to helping me and im lik e???? i didnt ask for help?#and the other guy was like is that a constant thing? and he said no not me yet but he had to assert dominance#and i looked at him and told him very plainly#i am a pushover with anxiety you dont have to assert dominance at all i promise#and he actually looked kind of taken aback and guilty for snapping on me for no reason so then im like#oh great just me saying i hope to not cause problems caused a problem#anyway ........ i wanted to draw a halloween thing but i just dont have the spoons rn
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absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-
they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.
#'hes just having sex with /me/ because he knows im not going to stab him in the back (literally)'#meanwhile theyre having the most tender schmoopy sex known to man because theyre both so fucking in love#(not 2 say anything abt the actual sex theyre having they can be as rough as they want itll still be tender because theyre having FEELINGS)#'of course we have a matlotage it'd be silly to not have a financial agreement when our lives are so entwined. whats mine is his'#and at the same time theyre celebrating anniversaries with blowout bashes and gifts and shit and just#theyre so fucking aware of their marriage but theyre SO STUPID about it#'but what if he doesnt like me like that' about the man whos slept next to him for decades#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#edizzy#blackhands#anyway it ends when someone else finally points it out#classic steddyhands set up. eds talking about his relationship with izzy and stedes like 'youre married' 'yeah but not like that'#'absolutely yes like that edward- am i the other woman?????' and it takes a few days and a lot of convincing but they talk about it#and realise oh theyve been real actual married all their lives huh#que more fucking schmoopy sex. hand holding and tears and shit and maybe its a little cringe but its their wedding night ok ????????
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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Happy fourth anniversary to... well, me! It was four years ago that I signed up for tumblr under the now all-familiar StarDestroyer81 name, and to celebrate, I come bearing some particularly exciting news I've been waiting a few months to announce...
⭐I HAVE A REDBUBBLE STORE!!! ⭐
Shirts, stickers, pins— you want it? It's yours, my friend; as long as you check out the above link! If you've ever wanted to directly support me— or would just love to have select works of mine on merch of your choice— I highly suggest giving my store a look as I put so much work into prepping it for my blog's fourth anniversary! 💙🏳️⚧️✨
#⭐ Star's Art ⭐#Star Speaks#Blogiversary#StarDestroyer81's BIG Day!#RedBubble#RedBubble Artist#RedBubble Shop#Merch#Mega Man#Rockman#Pizza Tower#Rascal 1983#Trans Artist#Artists on tumblr#Support Trans Artists#Coolness#I'VE BEEN WAITING SINCE JANUARY TO ANNOUNCE THIS!!! 💙🏳️⚧️✨#If you told me in 2020 that four years from now I would both have merch for my tumblr blog and that my preferred name is 'Julia'#I would probably blankly stare at you and go back to playing King of Cards or something#Silliness aside— now you can have some of my greatest hits printed on products of your choice!#Naturally the selection of designs I have will only grow going forward though I hope what I have to start is more than enough#A good portion of the designs are replicas of shirts my OCs wear. Including my fursona's 'coolness' shirt!#I will say that there are some things there that I've never touched on before on this blog and I hope to change that very soon#Finally... while I don't particularly like to go all that much into my personal life on this blog... it's been pretty rough as of late#So again if you'd like to directly support me by way of purchasing anything in the shop... that would mean the world to me 💙
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Me: *creates an OC*
Me: *heavily implies OC will meet a bad fate*
OC: *meets bad fate*
Me:
(Alternatively, I may have started it, but @katkastrofa enabled me and now I’m losing my mind)
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#first rule of interacting with Nia: don’t suggest a dark/whumpy/extremely angsty concept to them#they’ll take it and run a marathon with it and next thing you know their own ideas are making them cry#this is just what happens when I start developing an OC during a rough time in my life#happens every time. guess who came up with Summiya’s fall from grace after their college application fell through??#and since Summiya has a more or less completed storyline. it’s now someone else’s turn#namely Jia’s. also Sunat’s but. mostly Jia’s. Sunat is more angst than whump and I’m craving PAIN#I’ve been frothing at the mouth thinking about Jia all day#just.. imagine how terrified she must have been when she was brought before Jusamah. when he said that he’d make her talk one way or another#and if she doesn’t want to obey and confess willingly… something else can be arranged#how her fear got even worse when she was dragged into the palace dungeons. when she saw the whipping post#begging for mercy as she was stripped and tied. swearing on her life that she doesn’t know anything. that she’s innocent#rambling incoherently right up until the first hit lands. after that it’s just screams and sobs and barely audible ‘I don’t know’s#all the while she’s yelled at by a man three times her age who refuses to believe that she truly doesn’t know anything#and she doesn’t. all she did was point Aiza in a direction. she has no proof she even went in it#I don’t want to get to graphic here but let’s just say I read an article on whipping and it’s.. it’s bad#the aftermath is brutal and bloody and passing out from the pain would be a mercy#and afterwards… I do think someone is called to tend to her so she doesn’t bleed to death before they can get a confession out of her#and that person is kind. if a little detached emotionally. and likely her back could have been salvaged if the whipping didn’t repeat#but it did. because they need her to confess. maybe the excruciating pain of reopened wounds will get her to talk…#it doesn’t. she never says anything. and after a while they move on from torture to locking her up and starving her#maybe that’ll finally break her. perhaps she’s still whipped occasionally even afterwards but for the most part she’s just left alone-#in some dark cell and questioned occasionally. it lasts anywhere from weeks to months and yet she never gives out the one detail she knows#because Aiza’s safety depends on it and she knows Aiza’s punishment will be much worse than hers if she’s caught#but anyway. enough of the bloody horror show. instead think about what it must’ve been like for her parents#the town is alight with scandal following the disappearance of Lady Aiza. you know a bit about her since your daughter works for her#you don’t hear from your daughter for a while. eventually someone tells you that she’s been convicted of helping Lady Aiza run away#she’s been under interrogation since. no one’s seen her but rumour has it they’re torturing her. there’s little you can do as a poor family#you request an audience with Lord Jusamah. it takes a long time to to be granted but eventually you’re before him begging for your daughter#apparently she’s proven to be a useless waste of resources so she’s released to you. you barely recognise her. AND I REACHED TAG LIMIT FML
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hey do you guys ever think about how justice’s inexperience with people and anders’ reliance on laughing over his trauma would’ve made justice wholly unprepared for the kind of shame and hurt and fear that was now suddenly a part of him. i think abt it!
#theres this dialogue snippet in my word doc of hawke and justice getting to talk#a few actually but in this specific one hawke says smth abt anders being too critical of himself#and the rough next line is just like ‘justice shivers; hunches’#(the semi-colon being a comma curse tumblr tag restrictions)#anyway that fucking haunts me#i just think abt being stuck in there as suddenly part of someone who can be like so violent to himself and you are now himself#like its kind of terrible and ironic that justice is much more likely to be in a bad way#not because anders is innately hateful and too angry and a contaminant or whatever but because anders THINKS he is like that#idk i just want to shake anders a little and be like stop talking to yourself this way dont u know ur friend is in there!!!#and not even just all that but justice suddenly gaining access to all his memories and like his experience in the circle#like justice obviously cares a lot abt the injustice but hes never EXPERIENCED anything like that and to suddenly have that a part of u. man#justice#to be centred around an ideal of justice and suddenly know so completely how badly ur friend who is now urself has been hurt#and theres so little they can DO abt it all for so long...
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hi hello!!
just wanted to come in here to say you're really cool and i love all the stuff you do !! /gen /pos you dont gotta respond to this i just wanted to let you know that i think youre cool and really neat >:333 /lh /gen
OH MY GOODNESS THANK YOU SO MUCH 💖💖💖💖
RAAAAAH This was such a wonderful thing to wake up to HEHE! I’m so glad people the content I make!! comments like this genuinely mean so much to me so thank you beyond WORDS for saying this 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 /gen /VPOS EEEE
#I seriously don’t have words /silly#This was such a lovely thing to read and it genuinely made my day!!! /vpos#I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch lately due to some personal things#so I can safely say this was a really pleasant surprise to open my askbox too :3!#I also am kind of struggling to come up with words to show my happiness at the moment because. Eepy!#So if this sounds dry at all I am BEYOND sorry :’DDDD#BUT…. It really did make my day and I can’t say it enough how wonderful this was to see!!#I hope that you have/are having an absolutely amazing day man :DDD!! /gen#Cro chatter
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did i cry from the bear fx season 2 episode 7 Forks (richie's episode)? maybe.
"2-seconds-post-watching" analysis under the cut
just the way that Richie finally felt loved and wanted working in the restaurant, like we've seen since the beginning of the season that he feels like he's at a stage of his life where everything and anything is too late for him, the people he loves are dead (mikey) or getting engaged to other people (tiff (ALSO SORRY THE GILLIAN CAMEO? I GASPED) and even tho he loves carmy he can tell he's getting on his nerves so right now the only person he has who needs him is eva and even she's gonna have a new father now so he starts off at this kind of rock bottom of "i have no one and no one wants/needs/cares for me" and at first this is cemented by the fact that he's 45 shining forks and no one knows his name or cares and theres this tug of war between the potential he feels he has and the way that people see him
BUT THEN the episode goes on and we see how much of a people person he is and the childlike giddiness he feels getting to serve customers and make their day because he feels like he matters, he feels like he's making a difference, he's affecting them all for the better, he has a PURPOSE
AND THEN we see him jamming to taylor swift by himself - he doesn't even need eva - because he's beginning to find himself again and see his own value as an individual, not just as a father or as an ex or as a "cousin" or even as a fork-shiner but as a person interacting with people whether directly or indirectly but making people's days better (this is not my best explanation but my brain is working a mile a minute so bear with me here)
AND FINALLY he talks to chef terry (IM SORRY OLIVIA FREAKING COLEMAN??? ALRIGHT SURE) and its all cemented. everything he's been learning from this place is cemented when she tells him the story of how she created the restaurant - it's never too late to start anew, to start fresh, to try again - and this sense of hope just cements itself into him of "i can and will go up, it's not over until i say it's over"
purpose man, purpose
SIDE NOTE: seeing this post from s1 is so perfect like episode 7s are about richie. he tries so desperately hard to prove to everyone that hes worth someone that hes not a loser that he has purpose and MY GOODNESS THIS SEASON IS SO GOOD IT'S WOVEN BEAUTIFULLY AND I LOVE IT
#this is a very rough analysis and im sure theres smarter people out here with more to say on it and wld love to hear everyones thoughts!!#but also i had to get this all out because this episode meant something to me. it really made me feel something#i am by all means young but am entering this stage of life where its like “im getting older and i cant deny it” like turning 20 hit me hard#so all these things of “its never too late” “age is not an indicator of worth” “as an individual you are wanted” idk man it messed me up lo#PURPOSE MAN PURPOSE#can you tell richie's my favorite character (besides marcus cause#rikrambles#the bear#the bear fx#the bear s2#the bear season 2#richie jerimovich#forks
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I've watched and adored Encanto, Wolfwalkers, Across the Spider-Verse, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, and Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio. All absolutely incredible animated films that I'm sure will be held up as classics even 20 years from now.
With that said, Nimona is frankly a good step above all of them and my choice for animated film of the decade so far (at least for what I've heard of). An absolutely stellar film on every level. Do yourself a favor and watch it all on YouTube these next few days!
youtube
Does it stand a chance at the Oscars? Absolutely not, especially since even the Annies were dominated by Spider-Man. But it would absolutely deserve to. (And again, I adore Spider-Verse and still think it's 100% worthy of the Oscar on its own. It's basically the reverse of the Puss in Boots vs. Pinocchio situation last year. They're both masterpieces, only this time the slightly better masterpiece is almost certainly gonna get left in the cold.)
#nimona#nimona movie#oscars 2024#i'm not exactly gonna pretend nothing good came out of disney last year#maybe elemental and especially guardians 3 are good#but holy crap the fact that this film they left to rot with blue sky came back to mop the floor with them?#that truly is the ultimate nail in the coffin!#that and you know the draconian capitalist stuff but that's a different story#rip blue sky#now i can no longer call ice age: the meltdown my favorite blue sky movie that i've seen#sorry 4-year-old (and honestly current) me :(#you know this decade's been a rough one for animation in so many ways even in regards to the movies#(though they may be the least of the problems now)#but man has this decade already given us some classics from both the big and small studios#i'm sorry i haven't said much on the movie but i don't even know what to say because it's so amazing#go watch it right now#now just hoping it comes to blu-ray because i have all five of those other movies on blu-ray#and the only one not in 4k being wolfwalkers simply because it doesn't have a 4k (tho at least also having two more movies)#(one of said movies (song of the sea) actually being better than wolfwalkers but that's a different story; cartoon saloon rocks)#Youtube
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these things are always happening to the ones i like :////////
anyways the lighting in this dungeon is so nice
didn't get any good pics bc i was too busy dungeoning but so pretty...best dungeon music so far goes to snowcloak though btw
#ffxivposting#i knew it was coming bc i tried to use the google search bar as a spellcheck for his name (LOL) like a DUMBASS because in the suggestions..#i was like no!! no!! but he's so funny!!!!!! and the second he showed up in game again i started taking screenshots of me n the bestieee#it wouldnt be accurate to say that i am Emotional about this but i am like aw man...but he was so funny...insert montage of All The Memorie#was crazy seeing her looking so distressed in a cutscene. girl me too! he was so funny </3#the loud ass screenshot sound effects throughout the cutscene were funny though.this is who i am#altogether i have like 150+ screenshots of this game thus far.serious shit#IN OTHER NEWS:#- i cant stop laughing at finding out that a.lphinaud is in fact 16 years old. like i was guessing he was 17 or so but man it checks out#so hard. smart fella or not of course the sixteen year old boy naively founded a private army. it checks out so hard. hes cute :)#- since the tail end of arr patch quests ive been checking npc dialogue of relevant characters and thats a bit of a goldmine sometimes#- the first time aymeric(?) (not double checking via google ive learned my lesson) showed up i joked that he was going to be an akc type#and well no. he's really not. but i did cackle when it was revealed that he was a bastard child. clocked him on accident#- addicted to dalamud red dye. was funny when estinien started rocking his blood red armor like omg now we're Extra twinsies!#funny to me when they acknowledge the whole drg class stuff. like ah yes the Other azure drg. sorry estinien this feels like stolen valor#this is just what happens when u play f.fiv multiple times when u are r like 6. and also just think lances are sexy.#- can't wait to find out where tf the rest of the scions went. hi guys. you wont Believe what happened while you were AFK!#that's right! dragons! and then theyre like I Haven't Seen The Light Of The Sun For An Ambiguous Amount Of Time...cowabummer!#i keep joking abt needing to do a wellness check on urianger but honestly hes fine hes living it up in the sand. hes doing fine#- anyway can someone do a wellness check on ysayle(?).#- i've unlocked flight in a couple zones! thankkk god. some of these places are ROUGH to navigate without it sometimes.#- my keybinds are rough. also i have a gauge now. havent gotten to use it bc of level sync but anyway this feels like school#dont worry chat i only do duties with other real players when i Literally Have To Because They Make Me#- anyway. very ? about what theyre going to do with the rest of this story. intrigued. and quite sleepy i must say.
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the webtoon may have left out a lot of things but they did yassify the orcs which is the funniest thing to me right now
*sigh* they did yassify the orcs <3
now i want to see what they'll do with the sirens and whether i should be excited or worried lmao
#hey i got an ask#Anonymous#the greatest estate developer#tged#also. can we talk about the elephant on the room.#listen i may be totally be wrong about this and i would love to hear you guys' thoughts about this but.#doesn't it feel a little. weird. this thing the webtoon has about making muscular women look overly scary or rough?#like i feel it's gone under the radar because most of us just went 'oh hell yeah muscular women that shit rules let's go!'#but..... i think that wasn't... actually what the artists had in mind when they did. that.#like for example mellica. she's great i love her top tier character design. but look at her. and tell me the way they presented her#doesn't look like a set up for the audience to go 'oh super muscular woman is scary ha ha'. be honest.#now to be fair! all the elves look buff! like they actually look like people who train and fight and do archery constantly! they look great#so i can pass it off as a maybe a little clumsy attempt to give us more buff female characters it's fine whatever#but then we get to the lady ella bit. and uh. well.#how do say this.. it feels. mean-spirited? sorta?? a little mean??#not even because i was really looking forward to this arc i'm a big girl i can swallow my disappointments like an adult and all that#but it feels like the joke there was 'ha ha man in a dress looks weird isn't that funny? ha ha men are attracted to him that's hilarious'#especially because they went out of their way to make javier look overly burly and buff while wearing the dress#i joked about it but doesn't it feel weird?? we know javier is a pretty guy he's muscular but he's also lean and almost... delicate looking#when wearing his normal clothes#he's a pretty guy! in the novel he could easily pass as girl with no issues!#and instead the webtoon decided to make him look so big and buff he was almost ripping the dress because of how burly he is?#like clearly the joke was 'this guy can't pass for a woman and it's funny that no one seems realize it and even think he's beautiful'#and they even went with the 'i respect your fetishes' joke which. oh boi.#so i'm worried about what kind of jokes they'll make when we get to the mermaids which are described as really big and muscular#even in the novel. in which there are some illustrations that i still haven't decided how much i like tbh#and maybe i'm exaggerating! maybe i'm being paranoid! maybe i'm making a big deal out of nothing and seeing mean jokes#out of a simple gag with no ill intentions behind it!#but i just. think it's weird. and not really all that funny. and i wanted to acknowledge it cause i felt uncomfortable not saying anything#so i'd like to know what you guys think. i think i need more perspectives on this before i say something dumb(er) lol
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🎤 🎤 🎤
a song that i associate with my muse meme!
AHH, hey, ramone!! thank you for sending in this prompt :D since you sent in three of the mic's, i shall now be treating you to three songs that make me think of blamore when i hear them / that i associate with it. an explanation of why i chose them will be in the tags <3
hozier - who we are.
youtube
icehouse - crazy.
youtube
depeche mode - personal jesus.
youtube
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#asks - answered.#ooc post.#okay but ESPECIALLY heavy on the last one because it literally all about the idea of someone that people can turn to in hard times-#like a god or a prophet who will listen to your plights and help you + who you should believe in. and i say this because one major theme-#to blamore's character is the concept of being a false prophet and someone who essentially unfortunately takes advantage of people's-#longing for things to get better in gotham. bc i feel like a lot of people there have either been failed by the system by other's or-#possibly both and this is so that blamore can get people to voluntarily want to consume the 'seeds' it distributes in order to uhh...#well purge gotham of its undesirables basically as terrible as that sounds. but yeah that depeche mode song? it's such a good one for-#him and definitely has helped me before to write things related to him since blamore does sometimes believe in its own hubris.#but as for the second one by icehouse that one i associate with it because although it doesn't exactly consider itself to fully identify-#with the label of being a 'man' i feel as if blamore will still talk about itself that way sometimes. its relationship with its gender-#is honestly a little bit complicated NGL because him using it/its pronouns as well is something blamore adopted recently even-#though he'd always sort of felt like disconnected and/or like it didn't really align with how he saw himself completely. BUT yeahhh#i honestly could start a whole discussion about that but i shall do that another time perhaps ahah. anyhow though besides that-#elephant in the room ever since it has transformed into this half-human half-plant monster being... although it does love any partners-#it has very much (trust me) i feel like it does wonder why they chose to be with him more often than he'd like to admit.#so that's where the whole 'crazy' part comes in and as for the hozier song that song is about how you kind of have to carve through-#this 'darkness' to rediscover ourselves and who we want to be as a result of going through a rough time or just something tough in-#general and that is SO freaking fitting in my opinion for blamore because it definitely had to completely reframe the way it thought-#about itself when it transformed. and he also had to figure out what he believed in / what his values were now which can be suchhh-#a messy process TBH but this isn't the first time that blamore's had to rediscover itself as life is honestly kind of this ongoing-#process of losing yourself and trying to find yourself again you know? but yeah. i hope you enjoyed my explanation here tehe <3#and also that you enjoy the tunes!!
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i took a shower i ate i'm trying to distract myself. so why am i still so sad that i can't think
#probably lack of sleep but i doubt my body will allow me to fall asleep anytime soon lol 🥲#even tho i'm so tired ugh#main reason i can't distract myself is my brain is too tired to focus on anything lmao#had a rough meeting with my social worker today so that's probably why i feel extra bad#was reminded of how much i am just. unable to be alive. a functioning person. a person at all#so i am once again in my usual 'why am i even bothering with anything when i won't be able to live a fulfilling life no matter what'#what they don't tell you about 'a better life is possible' is that better doesn't necessarily mean good#it just means less bad. which. when things are extremely bad. doesn't say much#man can someone shoot me like asap. i need to die. why am i alive. etc etc you already heard all that shit before#vent#negative //#suicide //
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