#and realise oh theyve been real actual married all their lives huh

[arsenicflame]

absolutely delicious flavour of edizzy is where theyre Actually Married but neither of them know it, while also being acutely aware of everything-

they celebrated 25 years of their matelotage. they are having sex on the regular. both of them think the other thinks their contract is purely for financial reasons and the sex is just fun + convenience.

[isaacathom]

i had a weird dream that both of my parents were monsters

i believe my mother was a demon, and my father was a sort of law enforcement angel. neither knew the others identity, as they had disguised themselves as human andhad fallen in love. both fully believed the other was human.

this changed when my mother gave me a necklace for my birthday. in real life, that necklace is something my sister bought from scotland that has ogham on it, something about holly trees. but in the dream, it was a sign of my mothers demonic heritage, and she likely gifted it to me due to her needing to do something, and wanting me to have something to remember her by.

and thats fine. but my dad saw the necklace. and as a demon hunter angel, he recognized it instantly, and asked if he could have a look at it. ‘to find its history’, he said. and i said sure, because im the sort of kid who would love to know the history behind family heirlooms. so i gave him the necklace to look over,and i went off to school for the day.

while i was out, a demon appeared nearby, a creature with a texture like potato skin and a shape similar to a hexagon? or a d20, that might describe it better. a big potato beast with the facets of a d20. who then split in half to explore. my mother saw this, and promptly left the house and shed her human form. she was sort of vampiric looking, with large horns and glowing eyes.

my father didnt see her leave, but noticed she was gone, and he then went into his secret study behind the bookcase, which could be opened by manipulating the fantasy books he had on his top shelf. he then left by a secret entrance.

at this point i arrive home, having been held up due to heavy books and bus times. im walking part of the way home, coming down the bike track next to the dog park, which was wear the potato demon was. but i see no sign of any of them. what i do see is the backyard of the house directly on the corner of where the bike path diverts into a small sandy path that connects back to the streets. its a wide backyard, lush and green, and a brand new pale grey stone sort of courtyard has been built. two people stand there, a parent and a child, and as i walk past they turn to look at me. being awkward, i just avert gaze and keep walking.

in their renovations, theyve extended their backyard to the left, meaning the sandy path is only big enough for one person, if even that. but since im small, i get through without much issue, and head on home (which is far closer to the bike path in the dream)

i find noone home, but i do find the necklace i gave my father on the top shelf of his bookcase. when i grab it, i accidentally trigger the mechanism, with two ‘layers’ of books falling forward and then pushing back in, and the bookcase swings open to reveal my fathers secret study.

the dream seemed to end there, but i imagine once inside i found a bunch of stuff about demons, and perhaps sign of a scuffle (between my father and potato demon, perhaps?) and so i would assume my parents had been kidnapped by demons. especially as their cars were in the driveway/garage. so then, yknow, go hunt for my parents.

there was a very weird tangent about my mum wanting to fuck the potato demon?? who i believe was called Kayli. that or my mum was kayli. there was some fucking weird shit going on there. it was possible a trick or trap? because Kayli had split in half, and my mum ended up getting deeply distracted by one half. which might mean the other half had time to go and attack my dad? who even knows. i dont. it was weird.

but yea! my parents were starcrossed lovers but they didnt even know it and wont find out until probably one of them dies at the end, or my dad goes to capture/kill my mother and suddenly goes ‘oH FUCK’. possibly both, if it was kill, and he didnt realise until too late. because, and heres the thing, both were in disguise. their demon/angel forms do have similarities, but if you werent looking for it, you wouldnt see it. my dad has no reason to look for my mothers face in a demon, and she no reason to look for his face in an angel. meanwhile i, who have probably been on some deep journey involving the bike path slipstream between dimensions and the wooded paths ‘out back’, ive learnt a lot about both. for instance, ive probably found out that my mum is a demon, just because i have her necklace and have been attacked/treated nicely by demons because of it. they look at it and go ‘oh, [mums name in the dreams] kid! how is she doing?’ ‘w-what?’ ‘? thats her necklace, isnt it? and you look ust like her, except more human. hows she been doing? havent seen her in decades!’ ‘??????????????????????????’

so i dramatically bust in to find my parents locked in mortal fucking combat and i go ‘Mom????!’ and shes like ‘wHAT’ and dads like ‘WHAT’ and its very confusing and conflicting for everyone involved.

alternatively, if my father has the necklace, then my mother recognizes it (no shit, its hers) and demands to know why he has her necklace. which is instantly confusing because, well, he got this from his child??? who got it from their mother??? so who the - oh fuck me. thatd be just sort of how it goes.

though surely if my dad is a demon hunter and recognized that the necklace was demonic, he’d be looking out for her in demons? unless he thinks that she’s maybe been possessed or something, hence going on a big ol battle fight trying to find his Definitely-Human Wife, who he would believe was captured and replaced by a demon. coincide it with external drama (and the fact my mum had been planning to leave for a little while, thus changing her attitude) and he’d think the necklace was some sort of signal for demons to come kick our ass. which, well, it SORT of was, considering like a day after i get it, Kayli the Potato Fucker appears to kick our asses.

idk. its all dramatic and shit. and naturally im half demon half angel and look like a human kid. which is good fun. depending on showdown circumstances i probably haveto fight off both of them at once. maybe its like, as i travel through the ~spirit realms~ i shed my human form a little bit as well which means i ALSO look different. got like, angel wings and devil horns. shits whack. and because they arent expecting me to be there, they dont recognize me either. dad would think im a devil pretending to be an angel to fucking trick him, and mum would think im an angel pretending to be a devil to fucking trick her. suddenly im fighting my parents. who, idk. whether i recognize them depends on adrendaline and whether I have the necklace. assume i do. then it would be fun if i didnt, and i fought them both for a bit, and when i get my ass beat my mum swoops in for the kill and then goes ‘wHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT’ and grabs the necklace and then, yknow, ~revelations~. because id say i got it from my mum, and she’d be confused, and then my dad would recognize it as the one he took from me and HED be confused. the entire final showdown part after the necklace comes into play is just OOF, my guy.

admittedly at that point im probably aware that both my parents are non-human. my mum is the obvious one, since i have her demon necklace, but i probably find out my dads an angel because he’s been rampaging through the spirit realms after getting briefly captured by Kayli. depending on how that layed it, its possible id actually seen him before and possibly even freed him FROM the half of Kayli Potato that caught him. and he probably played dumb, pretending he didnt know me (for my safety, naturally) and just told me to go home. spirit realm is no place for a human. probably says something that makes it way too obvious he know where i live. maybe he mentioned the bike path slipstream? which, assuming there are multiple ‘slip streams’ like it, implies he knows exactly which one i used to get in and that i live close to it. hence, oops thats my dad, yknow. and plus he’s going on a rampage after that, and if i meet any friendly demons or angels, they likely mention it. an angel would actually be really good for that, and fighting an angel before i fight my dad makes sense as a build up thing. maybe in the middle of a friendly conversation they suddenly spot my demon necklace and go ‘oh no. ohhhhno. where did you get that.’ ‘from my mum?’ ‘your mOTHER?’ ‘yea?’ ‘..... give it to me’ ‘no? its mine?’ ‘i dont think you understand whats at stake her. your mortal soul is in peril’ ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ and then, yknow, some grown ass angel asshole starts trying to beat up a kid for a demon necklace and WHOOPS thats my demonic heritage exposed because oops i just blasted an angel in the facewith demon magic before fucking bolting. and i dont know what i look like, so i cant see the horns, though i likely suddenly become aware of them when i try and find somewhere to sleep and fail to. or when i get out of the spirit realm to sleep and look in a mirror and fuckin shit myself.

the revelations of my parents heritage are a bit awkward because once i know one, the other one gets REAL weird, as a thing to reveal. revealing my dads heritage incidentally is probably the easiest one to do, since angels are probably friendlier to humans. probably. and when i freed my dad, i didnt know about his heritage, and so didnt recognize him (its a place-faces thing). but then, yknow, talk to another angel who tells me to go home because ‘his good buddy is going wild and its not a good time to be here. its never a good time to be here, but especially not now, kid’ ‘why is he going crazy?’ ‘something about his wife? i havent seen him in two decades but i think he married some human woman who has gone missing.’ ‘huh.’

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anyway that was the dream i had?????? oops