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do-androids-dream-ao3acc · 3 months ago

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Hi! For the ficlet prompts: For Tarlos: 🫶🏻 Breakfast date For BuckTommy: 🛏️ There's only one bed, and it's… a single (or broken? Like sunken down in the center or something. Whichever option sparks joy. 😂)

There's only one bed, and it's a single

A few weeks into their relationship, Buck wonders why Tommy still hasn't invited him over to his house. Somehow, they always seem to end up in the loft, apart form that one memorable date that ended in the 118's locker room – he’s still proud of himself for keeping his mouth shut about it the next day, even though his face probably screamed „ask me what happened last night“. Anyway, Tommy often just turns up at his door or picks him up from work and drives to the loft as a matter of course, and for a while Buck thinks it's just because he likes his place so much. It's tastefully furnished, right? And since he owns a couch again, Star Wars movie nights with Tommy next to him are much nicer.

It's just... Eddie had been so enthusiastic about Tommy's house, the garage, the dōjō; and Buck – Tommy’s boyfriend, mind you – hasn’t even seen a glimpse of all that. There are, of course, many possible explanations for this. Maybe Tommy’s a slob and it's always untidy (Eddie didn't mention this), or he's ashamed of his furniture (Eddie didn't mention this) or he's currently renovating (nope, not a word about that from Eddie). Either these made-up motives are as silly as they sound in Buck's head, or the real reason is him. Both could be true.

One evening, after a very good dinner (it's perfectly acceptable to praise yourself, Buck thinks, especially after receiving top cooking honors from Bobby), it's time to grab the bull by the horns.

“We're gonna sleep at your house tonight,” he says.

Tommy sets his glass down, blinks and replies, “We’ve basically just arrived at your place, Evan.”

"Right, but you’re staying overnight at my place about three times a week.“

“Didn't have the feeling that it was too much,” says Tommy with a wink.

Buck is melting away. This man has such a magnetic effect... But not this time, he swears to himself. He's let this slide long enough. If there's one thing he's learned, it's that problems should be addressed. This one isn't necessarily a problem, but it's a little oddity that has piqued his curiosity. And perhaps it also scratches his ego a little.

“No, I love it when you're here,” he says, feeling his cheeks flush. “But Eddie keeps telling me about your house and...”

“What is Eddie doing in this conversation now?”

Tommy sounds genuinely confused, and he can't blame him. Buck takes a deep breath.

“I want to see how you live.”

That's not quite the right approach, but at least Tommy smiles his adorable smile, which makes his face go all scrunchy. His answer, however, is not an exuberant “okay, let's get going”. Instead, he says, “That's sweet, but I'm rarely at home. It’s actually not that exciting.”

Somehow, it is, at least it starts getting annoying; Buck's curiosity is hard to tame when he believes he's discovered some kind of riddle. While it’s certainly exciting to see that there still are some things about Tommy that remain mysterious to him, his house shouldn't be on the top list of sweet secrets he holds.

“I’m getting a vibe that you don't want me there, Tommy.”

“It's not like that.”

“Then what is it? Do you have any porn magazines lying around? Don't you want me to see your underwear drawer?”

“Evan...”

“Are there pictures of your ex-boyfriends on the walls?” Now Buck is on a roll. “Do you collect tasteless art? Is your house just too small for two people to be comfortable?”

“Evan,” Tommy groans. Wide-eyed, Buck glares at him, until Tommy finally exhales loudly and adds, “Yeah, it's too small. You're not going to give it a rest, are you?“

“My therapist says I should talk about my feelings. And there's no one I'd rather do that with than you, Tommy, and right now... well. Honestly, it's driving me crazy.”

“All right,” goes Tommy, getting up and taking his hand, ”there's no point in delaying it any longer anyway. Come with me. We're going to my place – but whether you want to sleep there remains to be seen.”

That, of course, was an even more mysterious answer, but Buck jumps to his feet immediately.

From the outside, Tommy's house looked neither particularly small nor large. The most remarkable thing about the single-storey, flat-roofed building was probably that it stood in the middle of a terraced housing estate in the suburbs. It wasn't an area Buck would have associated with Tommy, and there was probably a story behind it that he was eager to hear one day.

Inside, it was just as unremarkable. This was the house of a single man who often did 24-hours-shifts and also had very excessive hobbies that made him leave the house quite often. In other words, a comparatively interchangeable place. Eddie hadn't mentioned anything about that either, he'd probably been blinded by the flights to Vegas and the garage. There were no photos of ex-boyfriends on the walls, no obvious porn movies in the impressive DVD collection, no tasteless art; there weren't even any potted plants, “I just don't have a green thumb,” says Tommy.

“I don't understand why you didn't already show me your house,” Buck says, a little disappointed that he still couldn't solve the puzzle.

“Hm,” Tommy utters, and it sounds almost apologetic. He wraps his arms around Buck and adds, “You're here now.”

„Yes, and I forgot a change of clothes. You’re gonna have to lend me some tomorrow.“

“You're really determined to spend the night here?”

“You bet,” Buck says, his eyes roaming the room, ”show me your bedroom and I'll show you how determined I am.”

“Then get ready for a cold shower,” Tommy returns, taking Buck's hand and leading him further into his house.

The door opened to another plain, rather functionally furnished room with a built-in wardrobe, a second door that probably led to the bathroom, a large window without any curtains and virtually no accessories. Then Buck’s gaze falls on the bed, and his jaw drops.

“Well, I told you it was small...”

“I thought you meant your house.”

It was the bed. A narrow, single bed. It wasn't an unusual place to sleep, of course; millions of bedrooms were furnished like this. Buck just couldn't understand why anyone would voluntarily give up the comfort of a kingsize when they were tall and beefy like his adorable boyfriend with the very embarrassed look on his face.

“W-wait a minute. Is that why we always spent the night at my place? Because you’re sleeping in... this crib?”

“Hey, I like this bed,” Tommy replies, grimacing. “It's just not a good place for two. Hold on, what were you thinking, Evan?“

“Well, for a while I thought you just liked my shower...”

“... it's an excellent shower, I must say.”

"Well, to be honest, I thought it’s not that important to you."

Tommy looks intently at his face, shaking his head.

“Did you seriously think you weren't important enough for me? I thought we had clarified that point by now. And for once, I'm not talking about the excellent sex, honey.“

"Which would be … not that comfortable in that bed," Buck says when the penny finally drops. “Adorable, Tommy. As if the kitchen table wasn't enough for us.”

“But would you want to sleep on it?”

“Good point,” Buck mutters. “We really can't both fit in the bed.”

“Gonna be tough. And… actually, I really prefer your shower.“

“I'll probably have to talk to the landlord about the water consumption.”

"Well, we don’t need to move together so soon," Tommy argues. “But you could help me buy a bigger bed, how about that?”

“Excellent,” says Buck. “But we have to be sure it’s too small for the things I’d love to do with you.”

He pushes the surprised Tommy onto the bed with a casual nudge.

“Fine,” Tommy replies with a grin before closing Buck's mouth with a kiss, ”but we're sleeping at your place tonight.”

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Thank you for the adorable prompt, @herrmannhalsteadproduction. I'm gonna need to skip the Tarlos one because I'm running out of spare time, but this was fun 😂❤️

#writing #fanfiction #my fics #BuckTommy #BuckTommy fanfic #tevan #911 fanfic #dailykinley

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mario-art · 7 months ago

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*saving Hera pic for future use*

Aaaah, yeah, Sherlock is really one of the first references that come to mind when you read the books. Makes sense

lol I remember a post here with a link to an online test "what kind of male are you" (created unironically, used by Tumblr people for the laughs as it should be). And i had thought they only had alpha and beta, but apparently there's a whole alphabet there and sigma is like a wet dream for all these dudebros?? Some of them even created a sigma male movie playlist on IMDb with joker, taxi driver, american psycho and etc. Anyway I had a laugh with my friends exploring this topic for an evening

Apparently YouTube star wars fandom doesn't take this classification for granted (who would've thought) and I remember seeing someone disappointed there that Thrawn wasn't an alpha 😢😩

I also like how the creators of Ahsoka and now tote showed Thrawn in a grand pretentious way (don't get me started on stormtroopers chanting his name.... It sounded so similar to orcs yelling Grond! Grond! Grond! while sieging Minas Tirith. I laughed at the screen especially after seeing "orcs with normal voices" videos in YT, iconic), almost like YT bloggers bros like to depict him and then there's Tumblr fandom's portrayal of him and it's so so different

HELLO, you made such an interesting point in the tags of my post:

You know what’s funny? Is that Thrawn is really being turned into a “Machiavellian” type of villain, but what’s even funnier is that Machiavelli himself received this type of treatment. Now idk how much familiar you are with the 16th century author, but just know this: Machiavelli and “Machiavellian”, and whatever people can take from him, is heavily misunderstood (I actually really hate the use of the adjective, but perhaps that’s a story for another type). Now I know that Zahn wrote Thrawn based on a certain extent on the Machiavelli archetype (I remember reading it somewhere, pardon if I have no proofs), but I’m actually laughing hard thinking that as characters they are having the same treatment by popular media. Lemme explain: Machiavelli wrote the Principe not because “oh he cynic!1!🥶He mad!1🤬”. No. Machiavelli wrote what he wrote because he wanted to save Italy dalla Ruina, from its ruin. Machiavelli dreamed of a more compact and unified Italy. He had a vision and just as much as Thrawn, he wished to serve his people, Florence (in Thrawn’s case, the ascendancy) and Italy (which didn’t existed at the time).

And now, with Thrawn being reduced as you said in a villan without complex motifs, I can’t help but think how poetic is to be doomed to the same narrative as the figure who inspired your existence. Maybe this was planned all along, I don’t think so personally, but Thrawn is being oversimplified by Filoni the same way Machiavelli gets reduced as just a “pragmatic person” and “the ends justify the means” by everyone (don’t let me start on how wrong the quote is).

To sum up: Thrawn and Machiavellian are rhyming in the same direction in popular mainstream media.

This was my Ted talk, sorry in advance for possible writing mistakes, I just woke up✌️

Hiii! Thank you so much for the spontaneous Ted talk 😄😄 Your parallel between the Ascendancy and Florence+Italy is sooo on point, it blew my mind for a second. Now I have to delve deeper into it

Actually there was a period of time when I was really invested in this topic, I read his 10 letters, history of Florence +the Prince obviously and almost fell from a chair when they put him into Assassins Creed game, but now there're just small bits that I remember. Maybe it's time to refresh things

I didn't know that Zahn was actually inspired by Machiavelli. I'm new to this part of the fandom, so I haven't read anything about him or his working process, but after you mentioned it I'll take a note for the future. I must confess I learned who Thrawn was only during the Ahsoka show and due to the fandom. Like there were so many memes about him here on Tumblr, there's no way fans will hype some basic dude so much. And then my friend recommended the new trilogy

So yeah, it's such a pity that not 1, but 6 books of new material got completely ignored and the character simplified to what we've already seen so many times literally everywhere. You phrased it beautifully

I haven't read the old trilogy yet, heir to the empire, only know the plot in general, but I'm curious what exactly motivates Thrawn to rebuild the empire. And how the characterization of him differs between these trilogies. Is he mostly the same or did Zahn change the character after so many years like Terry Pratchett's Vetinari evolved from the very first version of the Patrician to his later works (I can't help comparing them after yesterday, though I hadn't done it before idk)

So yeaah... At least I'm happy that there're so many talented fans here and we can happily ignore whatever happens on the screen 🙃

#i love tumblrs tendency to turn every old man into sad broken meow meow #or on more serious note actually exploring character's feelings #motivation #developing an actual arc and reading source material (hello)#is it the part where we share favourite fics 😂😂#but really #do we actually need to see whatever this magical bullshit in ahsoka was #upd: editing to clarify i didn't mean night sisters but all this weird artefact story that made thrawn seem like an immortal ancient sith #or showing off his fleet and stormtroopers #and a pristine uniform after hell knows how many years on a far away planet #or long live the empire x25 times #let him show off his brains like he does in the books #let him have feelings and moral dilemmas and actual relationships with people around him #obviously i can't live without analogies because now i think of Tyrion Lannister from got #when the creators didn't have enough brains to keep him smart after they ran out of books #well #yeah #star wars #thrawn

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destinyc1020 · 2 months ago

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Yes please, Andrew and Z in a project would be cool. Maybe not go for the obvious like a romcom but a thriller or cat and mouse chase where one is the crimnal (preferably her lol) and the other law enforcement 😄

https://x.com/FilmUpdates/status/1840100042260058332

Awww!! 🥰 That's so sweet what Andrew says about Zendaya. I would love for them to work with each other again! Their little interaction in "Spider-man: No Way Home" was so cute. 😊❤️ I also loved their Actors on Actors interview together.

It seems like Andrew wants to work with just about everyone in Hollywood! Lol 😆

🥰

I hope this will show fans that these fandom wars are super dumb, and most actors really respect each other and their work, and even *gasp*, want to work with each other one day lol. 😂

#andrew garfield #zendaya #The Hollywood Reporter #THR #thanks for sharing Anon! ❤️

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morethanonepage · 6 months ago

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say what you will about Person of Interest but its show runners' reactions to their manly man action/sci-fi show being embraced by women shipping their two male main characters (that they would never in a thousand years see as anything but straight) was almost perfect. they kept up the importance of the finch/reese connection almost to the end*, they never shied away from letting them being close or physical w each other, they had other queer characters & treated them w respect. they had reese & finch pose as a couple for an event & treated it exactly the same as if had been reese & shaw posing as a couple.

basically, they never treated their audience as idiots for ever IMAGINING that their two totally straight main characters could be in love after being shown in text to love & need & value each other. they were always like, huh that wasn't our intent & we don't see it that way, but w/e, have fun w it, keep watching our show pls.

bbc sherlock & the mcu & star wars could NEVER. & neither, tbh, could supernatural.

*the random retcon of Carter being the MOST important person ever to Reese & his savior felt less about ignoring/diminishing his connection to Finch lest that be seen as GAY & more about amping up the tragedy of Reese having lost a person he loved & valued (& also I would argue setting up the fact that he was going to die at the end). Bad character writing but not imo malicious.** Same w his weird & awful relationship w his therapist in the last season -- more about setting up how hopeless it was for Reese to even try to have a normal life, again setting him up for his noble sacrifice at the end. Again, bad writing, but I see the vision.

** I also get the feeling both these moves were based on pressure from Jim Caviezel. The show runners may have been fine by the queer readings of the show but I bet he wasn't 😂

#person of interest #god fuck jim caviezel i cant even watch the show anymore bc his behavior & opinions are so appalling #HE should be paying the POI creators residuals for knowing exactly how to write & use his character #to make his bad acting really work & be palatable in john reese #i adore john reese's awkwardness but its much less charming knowing what a dick jim caviezel is

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sissylittlefeather · 9 months ago

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Blue Moon: a Pacer Burton Story

A/N: I've been wanting to write a Pacer (from Flaming Star) fic for a long time because I love him so much. Then he started appearing everywhere in my face and it felt like a sign that it was time. This also has hints of @pebbles403's fabulous Pacer AI, so I have to give a shoutout there. If you like this fic, you'll like that character! Oh, also, reader is half Native, but looks Native, so use your imagination if that's not you.

As always, thanks to @ccab for listening to me whine and cuss as I write 😂

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, although this one is pretty tame, kissing, p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, both characters are virgins, so mentions of pain during sex, also references to racism

Word count: ~4.1k

When the half-Kiowa man came through your village to declare his loyalty to Buffalo Horn, you knew you were supposed to look away. But you couldn't. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the only person you'd ever seen who was like you: half-white, half-Kiowa.

Your Kiowa father had married your white mother in a ceremony that was both hopeful and condemned. It was hopeful because your grandparents believed they might be a bridge that would help both sides learn to live in peace. It was condemned because that was never going to happen. As the war continued to rage, their union became more and more of a problem. The white people rejected your mother and the Kiowa people began to question your father's decision. This was especially true after you were born. No one knew what to expect when your mother was pregnant. Would you look like her? Would you look like your father? Or would you be a blend? Your mother's family was beyond disappointed when you were born with your father's dark hair, dark eyes, and dark skin. Nothing of her blood won out in the battle inside you. And your father's people would never quite get over how you looked like one of them, but weren't one of them, just enough to make them wonder about you.

So you grew up on the outside, never knowing what it would feel like to be a part of any group. Although you lived among your father's people, they laughed and jeered and called you "white-face princess" despite your skin tone that matched their own. And the one time your mother took you home to her people, your aunt refused to acknowledge you and your uncle called you a "filthy little half-breed".

You had no people, no place. All you had were the judgmental stares and mocking whispers of everyone who knew where they belonged, as if you had any choice in where you came from.

So when Pacer Burton rode into your town on horseback, you couldn't help but be drawn to him. You had a burning desire to ask him if he knew how you felt, a never-ending buzzing in your soul that needed to hear his experience.

But he was busy with Buffalo Horn and the war. You had seen him before when he would come with his mother, always carrying himself like a white man, not quite embracing who he was as a Kiowa. This time, though, he came to your father's people as one of them. Everything about him had changed and for the first time you felt like he might actually listen if you spoke.

Still, there was no time for women's business in the midst of the battle that raged between both halves of you.

When he came back again to fight your father's people, caught in the rage of what had happened to his father and brother, you knew this would not end well for him. So you ran away. You took supplies and a horse and left for one of the houses that the white people had once lived in. You followed him as he left for the white village, convinced he was going to die. And then, when he fell off of his horse some miles outside of there, you knew this was your chance.

******

Pacer is awoken by the sound of dishes rattling and the smell of something cooking. When he sits up in the bed, he's shocked to find that he's still alive. He checks his body and finds that he's been bandaged in several places, the smell of healing herbs strong in the cotton strips. These scents are familiar to him and they remind him of his mother. There is a pang in his heart when he remembers that she's dead and it couldn't have been her who patched him up. He stands cautiously and makes his way to the kitchen area carefully. He's taken aback by the sight of you by the hearth, stirring a pot of something.

Before you notice he's standing there, his eyes run over you, from your long black braids, to your tanned angelic face, and all the way down to the moccasins on your feet. You feel familiar to him, but he can't quite place you. As he stands there trying to come up with something to say, you see him in the doorway and stand up.

"You're awake."

"Yes. Who are you? Where am I?"

"It's not important. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been beaten in a war, but I'm still alive."

"That's not so far from the truth." You go back to stirring the pot and he walks into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table.

"I say it is important. Who are you and where am I?"

"I'll start with your second question first. You are in a safe place. The whites won't come looking for you here because this is Kiowa land now. The Kiowa won't come looking for you here either."

"You're Kiowa."

"Yes and no."

"What does that mean?"

"I am like you. With a foot in each world but never belonging to either."

"You're half."

"My father is a Kiowa warrior. My mother is the white daughter of a prominent man in your town." He looks down at his hands.

"It's not my town."

"No, of course not. Where do you belong, Pacer?" He looks up at you suddenly when you use his name. You turn away from the pot and stand again.

"I don't belong anywhere. How do you know me?"

"I've seen you come into my father's village many times."

"Why have I never noticed you before?"

"Were you looking for a Kiowa girl?" He looks down again, ashamed almost.

"No. I'm sorry."

"No need. I understand what I am." He looks back up at you.

"But you said you're like me. Why don't you look like me?"

"My father's blood won out in the battle for how I look. There is very little of my mother in me."

"There was no battle in me. There's just a balance of each that keeps me different enough to not fit in anywhere." He looks straight ahead, clenching his jaw and his fists.

"You fit in here with me." He relaxes and looks up into your face again. He sees the pain of a person who has lived in loneliness their whole life. He knows that look and that pain.

"And if I decide to leave?"

"I cannot stop you. I don't expect you to stay beyond the time it takes for you to heal." You turn back to the stove and try not to let him see the tears that have gathered in your eyes. You want him to stay, need him to stay even. But you know you can't force him.

"Why do you expect me to leave?" He cocks his head to the side and watches you curiously as you cook.

"I know you will not love me. And that's the only reason you would stay." You look up and will the tears not to fall.

"How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That I won't love you."

"I know what I am and I know what you wanted. I'm not the pretty little white girls you went to school with." You wipe away a rogue teardrop and try to refocus on your cooking.

"You don't know what I want. Hell, I don't know what I want. And besides, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want me either, looking like this." You turn to him and he gestures to his eyes. "I have the eyes of a white man."

"Oh, Pacer." You stand and walk to him, kneeling down next to his chair. "You are a Kiowa with eyes like the sky. Why would I not want you?"

You look at each other in silence and there's a moment of understanding between you. Then you go back to the pot of food. He feels like you have cracked him wide open and he's never experienced a person quite like you before.

"And if I stay?" Your heart skips, but you continue to stare at the pot you're stirring.

"Then I would take care of you in the best way I know how. And at least you wouldn't be alone." You turn back to him.

He looks at you again, and really looks this time. He's captivated by the way your raven-black braids sit on your shoulders and your dark eyes seem to sparkle like the night sky. You are stunning, even in your domesticity, and he never knew he could find a Kiowa girl so attractive. You awaken something deep inside him that even he doesn't recognize.

"I'll stay. For now." You smile at him softly and it almost takes his breath away. Even if you can only have him for a little while, you'll take it.

"Good. Now, eat your stew. You need strength to heal." You stand and place a bowl in front of him and he immediately knows it as something his mother used to make. He inhales deeply and closes his eyes. "You don't like it?"

"No, I do. It just reminds me of my mother."

"I was sorry to hear about your mother. She was good friends with my father's sister when they were young. We mourned like family when we heard." Something about that warms his heart and makes him feel a little more at home here with you. He's glad he decided to stay, even just for a little while.

******

After he eats, the exhaustion of his injuries becomes obvious. He looks around the tiny cabin and realizes something.

"There's only one bed. Where have you been sleeping?" You blush a little and he almost smiles.

"Next to you. I wanted to make sure you were still breathing." You also loved the feeling of being so close to him, but you can't tell him that part. "But I can sleep on the floor tonight, now that you are well enough."

"No, I'll sleep on the floor-"

"Pacer, you are not fully healed. You need good rest. You will sleep in the bed."

"Then you'll sleep next to me again. It doesn't change anything that I know about it now. The bed is plenty big enough for both of us." He doesn't waste any time climbing into the bed and laying on one side. He pats the bed beside him as if to tell you to lay down. You look around shyly and then crawl in beside him. The bed is big enough for both of you, but not big enough for you to have much space between you. "I haven't thanked you for taking care of me."

"It's not necessary. I was happy to-"

"Thank you." He doesn't have to lean far to place the soft kiss on your cheek. You feel like the air has been knocked out of you and you wish he would kiss you again. But he doesn't. Instead, he settles in and is asleep quickly. You roll onto your side and look at him as his breathing becomes even. He's so beautiful when he sleeps. Something about watching him calms you and before you know it, you drift off too.

******

In the morning you wake up first. You're surprised to find him wrapped around you with his face in your chest. You're on your sides facing each other, so you pull back and look down at him. You try to decide if you should move away from him before he wakes up, but you wait too long and he stirs. When his eyes open, he looks at you confused. Then, he realizes the position you're in and rolls away from you quickly onto his back. You roll onto your back as well.

"I'm sorry. I-" He starts but you interrupt him.

"It's okay. You were asleep. I know it didn't mean anything." He closes his eyes and thinks to himself that it sure felt like it meant something.

You desperately wish that it meant something.

Still, you get out of bed and begin to make breakfast. He follows close behind you and sits at the table patiently.

"You didn't tell me your name."

"Oh, it's y/n."

"It's not a Kiowa name?"

"My mother named me. My father's people call me Khoam Khote. It means strong wind. They hoped I would be a force for change. Instead, I became a force for destruction."

"I don't think you're a force for destruction. You saved my life. That's not very destructive." He looks at you sheepishly and a warm smile spreads across your face.

"Thank you, Pacer." You walk to him at the table and kiss his cheek. He looks into your eyes.

"I'm going to call you y/n." You lean forward and press your lips to his gently. Then you pull back quickly and stand up.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay, y/n." He smiles for the first time and you feel like you could melt into the floor.

"I won't do it again." His smile falls a little and he nods. He wouldn't mind if you did it again. He wouldn't mind if you did it over and over. But he understands why you might not want to. No one has ever wanted him before. Why would that change now?

******

Several weeks pass by with the two of you in this kind of polite limbo. After you kiss him, you try to keep your distance, despite sleeping in the same bed. And despite the fact that you always wake up with him wrapped around you.

You do get more comfortable with each other as you live and work. He hunts and fixes up the house and you go into your father's village to gather more supplies periodically. You plant a vegetable garden and hope he'll still be around when it's time to collect your harvest. He doesn't seem to show any signs of leaving, though, even after his wounds heal.

Truth be told, he's in heaven living this domestic dream with you. You're all the company he needs and he lives for the nights when he gets to touch you like he wants to under the guise of being asleep. Sometimes when you fall asleep first, he watches you and kisses your forehead or cheeks. He traces the outline of your lips or the line of your nose with his fingertips. He's not sure why you won't let him love you, but maybe he was right when he said you wouldn't want him.

One morning he wakes up earlier than normal and realizes that you're not in the bed. He panics a little and gets up quickly. You're not anywhere to be found in the little house. He walks outside and calls your name in the wind. The air is warm and he decides to walk to the small creek nearby to cool off. As he approaches, though, he sees someone in the creek. He hides behind a bush and then tries to see who it might be.

It's you.

And you're naked.

What he didn't know is that every other day or so you sneak out from under his arms and walk to the creek early to bathe. Then, you slide back into bed and pretend like you're just waking up. He never notices that your braids are wet.

But today, he notices you. He can't take his eyes off of you as you bathe in the cool water. He's completely captivated by your tawny skin glistening in the sunlight, the curvature of your hips, and the fullness of your breasts. He's never seen anything so beautiful. The physical response is undeniable and he wishes desperately that he could go to you and touch you. He needs to put his mouth on every inch of your skin and feel you pressed against him. He's never been with a woman like that before, but here as he watches you, it's the only thing he wants in the world.

He sighs deeply and turns away from you. The last thing he needs is to be caught watching you bathe. Instead, he makes his way back to the cabin. Once he's inside, he sits on the side of the bed and waits for you to come back. But as he waits, he just can't get rid of his erection. He can't stop thinking about you in the water and his cock is so hard it hurts. He stands and walks to the window. You're not anywhere to be seen, so he assumes he has some time before you'll be back. Something has to happen, so he unbuckles his belt and sits on the edge of the bed. He takes his pants off and wraps his hand around his throbbing dick. As he thinks about your body in the sunlight, he begins to stroke himself. He thinks of your slightly hardened nipples and the patch of hair between your legs hiding the place he wants to see most of all. He imagines what it would be like to touch you, to run his hands over your skin and feel all the soft parts of you. He pumps his cock harder and faster as he thinks about your mouth wrapped around him, your pussy on him as he fills you up. He's never had such dirty thoughts about a woman before but he needs you with a new kind of hunger.

A moan escapes his lips just as the door opens and you walk in quietly, fully intending to crawl into bed with him as he sleeps. But he's not asleep. Your mouth pops open at the sight in front of you: Pacer stroking his cock and moaning your name.

"Pacer?"

"Oh God!" He sees you and tries to hide himself frantically. He blushes a deep red and you can tell he wants to sink into the floor and disappear. "God, y/n, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Pacer." You walk over and stand directly in front of him. "Look at me."

You swiftly untie your nightgown, slip it down over your shoulders, and let it fall to the ground at your feet. You aren't wearing anything underneath it, so once it's on the floor, you're standing in front of him fully naked. His eyes widen and he looks at you with desperation. He's dying to reach out and touch you.

You walk towards him and pull the blanket that he used to cover himself off and toss it to the side. His mouth is partially open as you step forward and unbutton his shirt, pushing it down his shoulders and off.

"Y/n, I..." You're so close to him now that you can feel his breath on your body.

"Is this what you want, Pacer?" His eyes move from your body up to your face. You pray that you've judged the situation correctly and he won't reject you.

"Yes. God, yes." You take him in as he sits on the edge of the bed naked. His body is just as beautiful as you thought it would be. His tanned skin matches yours and there's the slightest patch of hair on his chest. Your eyes drift even further down and you see his dick, it's long and hard and straight and for some reason it makes your mouth water. You've never been with a man like this, but right now it's the only thing you need. He's the only thing you need.

In a gesture of boldness that shocks even you, you crawl onto his lap and straddle him, your dripping center rubbing against his cock. He whimpers as you take your place on his lap.

"Pacer, touch me." His eyes drift back up to meet yours. And then he carefully reaches out and grabs your hips. He runs his hands up to your breasts and drags his thumbs across your nipples. You throw your head back at the sensation of his hands on you. He kisses one of your breasts and then your neck and you lean into him and kiss him fully on the mouth. He parts your lips with his and slides his tongue in to dance against yours. When he comes up out of the kiss for air, he pulls back and looks you in the eye, his hands resting on your hips again.

"I've never..."

"Me neither."

"I want to... I want to try..."

"Me too." The passion overtakes him and he puts a hand on your neck and pulls you back into kissing him. You slowly roll your hips forward and he groans. You back out of the kiss and whisper.

"I think you need to be on top of me."

"Yeah, that's what Clint told me." He gently and deliberately picks you up and flips you so that you're on your back. He leans in and kisses you deeply again. When he pulls back from the kiss, he looks into your night-sky eyes and is overcome with affection for you. "You're so beautiful."

You feel like you could cry, but you don't. Instead, you reach up and push his hair back out of his face where it's fallen into his eyes.

"Do you mean that, Pacer?"

"I do. You might be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He kisses your cheek gently and takes a deep breath.

"Are you ready for me?"

You nod and he lines himself up with your entrance. You tremble a little at the thought of him pushing inside you.

"Will it hurt?"

"Maybe a little, I think? If it does, tell me and I'll stop." You nod again and he slowly starts to press into you. He gets the tip into you and you grimace.

"Should I stop? Does it hurt?"

"Not bad. Please don't stop."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Pacer, please."

"Okay." He pushes into you some more and it stings for a moment and then the pain gives way to something else. After a few more seconds, he's fully inside you and he grunts and lays his head on your shoulder. "That feels so good. Can I? Are you okay?"

"Yes. I'm ready." He begins to slowly pump in and out of you. You inhale sharply at the sensation and he stops moving.

"Does... does it hurt?"

"No, it feels good!" He smiles down at you and goes back to sliding in and out. You moan quietly and instinctively wrap your legs around his waist. He whimpers again and kisses your shoulder.

"It's so good, y/n. It's so so good." He begins to move a little faster, slamming his hips into yours passionately.

"Yes, Pacer!" Something is building inside of you, but you have no idea what it is. When it explodes, you feel like you might die with the sensation of electricity running through you. You moan loudly and grab him and hold him close to your body. He feels your walls pulse and stops moving for a second.

"What was that?" He asks incredulously.

"I don't know, but it was amazing. Don't stop!" He kisses your cheek and then resumes his rhythm of pounding into you. His cock slides in and out of you a few more times before he grunts.

"I think I'm gonna..." But he doesn't get the rest of his sentence out. Instead he slams into you one last time and shoots you full of something warm. "Oh, god, y/n, yes!"

He pumps weakly a few more times and then pulls out and lays next to you on the bed. You both lie there in silence, sweating and breathing heavily. After what feels like an eternity, he speaks.

"Remember when you said I wouldn't love you?" He turns his head to look at you.

"I do."

"You were wrong." He rolls onto his side and grabs your hand, kissing your fingers.

"Pacer, you're only saying that because-"

"No. I've known it for weeks. We belong together. I love you." You feel like your heart might explode with joy. You smile softly and he melts.

"Will you stay here with me?"

"Y/n, I will stay with you for as long as you'll have me." He presses his lips to your palm.

"Forever, then?"

"Forever." He wraps you in his arms and kisses you deeply. You are what he's been looking for his whole life. He's found a home in you, just as you've found one in him.

From then on you're a tribe of two, until the children come along. All four of them are beautiful, with dark hair and dark skin and their daddy's eyes like the sky. You build a life for yourselves beyond the borders of the war. It will continue to rage for a while longer. Eventually, the white man will win and the Kiowa will be driven from their own lands. But for now, for now you have Pacer, and that's more than you could've ever hoped for.

******

The End

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @aliypop @your-nanas-house @rjmartin11 @tacozebra051 @joshuntildawn13 @deniseinmn @pebbles403 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @louisejoy86 @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @from-memphis-with-love

#elvis presley fanfiction #elvis fanfic #elvis presley fic #elvis fanfiction #elvis fic #elvis presley fanfic #pacer burton #flaming star #pacer Burton fanfiction

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tarabyte3 · 2 years ago

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I'm going to add a photo dump to your post so I don't have to make a new one 😂

Some of my fave shots from the Star Wars Celebration con this past weekend!

#andy serkis #he looked so good this weekend #the nose scrunch 🥺#i love that he wears sweat pants to these things even if they are paul smith 😂#because that's such a mood #i love him 🥺#swce2023 #star wars celebration #thinking about that old man again

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lavaflowe · 1 year ago

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JTTW BOOK CLUB

CHPT 7-9

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chpt 7

•”All this was probably refined in his stomach by the Samadhi fire to form a single solid mass” I know other deities can use the fire but I’m wracking my brain for when it used before(this point) specifically- My understanding was the furnace refined the immortal elixirs and fruit- I’m going to assume Laozi is just theorizing and doesn’t know what actually happened

•Diamond body….👀

•Erlang gets absolutely DRIPPED out, he earned it FR

•eyes permanently irritated by the smoke churned up the the Xun trigram, someone get this man some eye drops

•he is extra pissed

•HE JUST BODIES LAOZI IM YELLING😂

•”this cosmic being fully fused with nature’s gifts passes with ease through 10,000 toils and tests”

•Big war form out to beat serious ass, he’s not jokin bitch

•” bright and luminous; ….illustrious pearl of mani he is indeed” MMMMM comparing him to a mani- a flaming (wish granting) jewel is hilarious 💀

•Tathagata bringing in the big guns (himself)

•”how tf do you know The Way and not know who I am?? And you’re so….violent” I can sense the side eye

•I wonder if Wukong has previous incarnations?? Buddha says he just reached human form this incarnation but if his rock was there at the beginning of creation, wouldn’t his soul be ‘baking’ (for lack of a better term) the whole time until he hatched?

•” and with a total lack of respect he left a bubbling pool of monkey urine” Iconic moment LMAOOOO

•smart for Wukong to leave a momento- too bad it didn’t matter lol

•ah so he was jumping to visit the pillars again, not run away(supposedly)- he’d rather prove he’s right than escape💀 that checks out

•monkey has been squished, it is now party o’clock

•are you allowed to give the Buddha drugs if it’s an offering? Like wine??🤔 “wtf is this allowed? Wtf”

•”Wukong is wiggling out”

“Dw, take this”

*slaps tag on the mountain like flex tape*

•enough room to breathe and move his hands- I would lose my mind

•Molten copper & iron pellets mimic punishments in hell (just learned this🙏), shedding the Karma like water -I feel like 500 years is pretty good tbh considering everything

Woe molten metal and iron upon ye

Chpt 8 + 9 under cut:

Chpt 8:

•lots of lovely poems in this chapter

•a paragraph recap of the past 7 chapters

•wonder what Feast of the Ullambana Bowl is? (the notes say it’s a mass for the dead and is also know as the Ghost festival, practiced by Taoists and Buddhists)

•”the Chan mind shines bright like a thousand rivers’ moon; true nature’s pure and great as an unclouded sky.”

Lovely poem, and I’m beginning to realize this book is very heavily focused on the Chan school, which I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on sooner? White-Robed Guan Yin is a Chan specific form, usually depicted in their bamboo grove

•Tathagata reveals his 3 baskets of scripture after everyone is done presenting their poems, feels almost like he suggested the celebration to announce these

•Each basket corresponds to scriptures of Heaven, Earth, and the Damned- a total of 15,144 FUCKING SCROLLS

•oooo Guanyin poem!! “ a golden body filled with wisdom, fringes of dangling pearls and jade, …dark hair piled smartly in a coiled-dragon bun. With brows of new moon shape and eyes like two bright stars, her jadelike face beams natural joy. …Her orchid heart delights in green bamboos; her chaste nature loves the wisteria. The living Guanyin from the Cave of Tidal Sound.”

•5 Talismans: Embroidered Cassock that will protect him from falling back into the Wheel of Transmigration, a 9 ring priestly staff that will protect him from poison or harm, 3 tightening fillets- the Golden, the Constructive, and the Prohibitive Spell.

•Guanyin thinks this will take about 2 to 3 years💀 hooooo boy….

•FLOWING SAND RIVER!!! MY 2ND FAV BOY!!!

•Green and Black complexion, Gleaming eyes like the lights beneath a stove, forked mouth with teeth like knives and swords, and disheveled red hair

•like that Wujing is using a priest staff he def took from one of the monks he ate lol

•Wujing fighting Moksa for his life only to drop everything to apologize and talk to Guanyin LMAO

•MOKSA PICKS HIM UP BY THE COLLAR AKFKAKDJDJ

•ah, so Wujing didn’t reincarnate, he was changed, STABBED OVER 100 TIMES EVERY 7 DAYS AND FORCED TO COMMIT CANNABILSM SO HE DOESNT STARVE AS PUNISHMENT- THATS JUST LOVELY😭

•I like the interpretation that he could have been trying to signal a coup by breaking the crystal cup

•Guanyin hearing about Wujing’s string of skulls: it’s a surprise tool that will help us later

•BAJIE TIME

•this idiot bro “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET FLOWER PETALS IN MY EYES!!” “IDIOT THAT WAS GUANYIN” “…Guanyin is here??” “LOOK UP”

•Wuneng is reincarnated, he got beat to death in Heaven for hitting on Chang’e LMAOOOOO GET REKT

•ah yes, casually mentions killing his pig family and then his life of eating humans. Lovely.

•AO LIE TIME

•I committed a little accidental arson, please bail me out

•Damn, he got a really short intro

•interesting that Guanyin id’s the Peach Banquet as Wukongs fall from grace. I would def agree with this- eating the peaches like he did was extremely reckless and the beginning of the end imo

•”who tf is talking shit up there”

•No one has ever visited Wukong, I’m guessing the Guards were horrible company

•I like how both Guanyin and Sanzang try to give Wukong a religious name- Guanyin is very happy to hear he has the Wu- prefix as well lol

•arrived in Chang’an, let the hunt begin

Chpt 9:

•Chang’an bb, all blooming flowers surrounded by 8 rivers (DAMN, that’s a lot of water)

•Guangrui got first place in the examination, good for him UwU

•SURPRISE WIFE

•”gave the girl to Guangrui as his bride” UM I THINK SHES THE ONE WHO GRABBED HIM LMAO

•Guangrui has some fated beef with these two random boatmen, Liu Hong and Li Biao- states that he was destined in a previous incarnation to be enemies with them, is this a result of bad karma?

•NOOOOOO MY GUY GUANGRUI

•Liu Hong reminds me of Liu’er Mi-*gunshot*

•since they’re at the bottom of the Hong river, which Dragon King is this?

•Golden Carp coming in clutch, nice

•LADY YIN IS SO METAL LETS GO “she hated the bandit so bitterly that she wished she could devour his flesh and sleep on his skin” DO IT GURL, KILL HIM

•damn, too bad she’s pregnant with Sanzang….dw Girl I know you would kick his ass otherwise…

•there goes his toe…

•get named River Float idiot

•damn bro chill, that wasn’t very monk-like of you

•homie got called an orphan and cried JAKDJSJFJ I FEEL BAD

•she didn’t even check the toe I THOUGHT SHE DID- WHAT WAS THE POINT LMAO

•nvmnd

•I guess licking the eyes is better than spitting on them…sigh…

•GODDAMN THEY RIPPED LIU HONG AND LI BAIO APART….good for them, deserved in fact

•Lady Yin committing suicide even after she was reunited with her husband makes sense, as there was a trend where wives whose husbands died or they were assaulted, killed themselves. This was show loyalty to their husbands and add weight to their claim of SA- Lady Yin’s husband coming back does not change the fact that everyone knows she was forcefully married :((

(I use the term ‘trend’ only as a way to describe the rise and fall in wife suicides tied to either a husbands death or as a response to SA)

#FINALLY CAUGHT UP YIPPEE #I CAN… I CAN DRAW MKRE FOR THESE #<- I say this but I intentionally didn’t post last Sunday so I could make that animation for chapter 7 LMAO #…I have my priorities straight #tho the animation prevented me from doing anything for Sanzang’s chapter RIP #I would have done Lady Yin Justice I swear- she deserves soemthing nice #jttw #jttw book club #<- still not sure about that tag LMAO #Journey to the west #I’ll probably slap all my doodles in one post at some point…#Sun Wukong #tang sanzang #my art #jttw meme #tw: sui mention

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pippin-katz · 1 year ago

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I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this post & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #alex claremont-diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry fox mountchristen-windsor #henry hanover-stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #history huh? bet we could make some

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starrylothcat · 1 year ago

Text

Quiet Love

Crosshair x Gender Neutral!Reader One-Shot

Summary: Crosshair pops the question 💍

Warnings: None? Feelings, some angst, sappiness. Softy soft Crosshair. Some kissy. Reader not described. AU Crosshair is on Pabu and wants to marry you. He deserves it. In the context of my fic a cycle = a year. 1200 words

Author’s Note: Idk I just have Crosshair feels. Song inspo when I was writing this: Eric’s Song by Vienna Teng 🫶

Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think! Also we need happier Crosshair gifs 😭😂

Strange how I fit into you // There's a distance erased with the greatest of ease // Strange how you fit into me // A gentle warmth filling the deepest of needs

The sun was sinking below the horizon, scattering magnificent hues of purples, pinks, and reds over the ocean. A slight breeze carried the smell of salty air and distant rain. Puffy thunderheads were forming high in the atmosphere, promising tropical showers.

You and Crosshair were sitting quietly, watching the sun disappear as stars blinked into existence above.

You were good at this, embracing stillness, savoring one another’s quiet presence.

After so long being at war, living in a Galaxy that was torn apart and was still being pieced back together, quiet is now calm.

Quiet is peace.

Quiet is love.

Four cycles have passed since you first saw Crosshair on the island.

Four cycles of being drawn to one another by an invisible force, filling the holes in your hearts that you never thought would close. Finding solace in one another’s company, finding forgiveness where you thought there was none.

He was afraid at first, when he realized his feelings for you. Frightened if he let you get close, his darkness and fears would spread like a disease and corrupt you. He was a broken man, his past still weighing heavy on his soul, even after the forgiveness of his family.

Slowly, the gracious and patient light that radiated from you burned through his shadows and he let you in. You both tread carefully at first, but as time went on, and more of his walls came down, the more he let himself fall for you.

Your love was a quiet one, but it was strong. It didn’t need to be loud.

Whether it was his hand on the small of your back when you were in public, or having a cup of caf ready for you in the morning exactly how you liked. How he’d worship your body behind closed doors, confessing his desires and need for you, quiet admissions from his heart, trusting you with his most vulnerable self.

Crosshair felt at his pocket as you sat, you not noticing as you watched the sunset. A ring was hidden in his pocket, something that he’s had for some time.

You held his heart and entire being in your hands. He knew you didn’t need a ring from him to realize his devotion to you. He didn’t either.

But you were willing to accept and help heal the heavy burden that was his heart and his love.

It was all he could do to let you know that you were his forever.

If you said yes.

A dark part of him wondered if this was all a dream, too good to be true. How could someone want to be with him, after all that he’s done? He wasn’t the best with words, but he was trying. He hoped it was enough.

You felt Crosshair’s arm snake around your shoulder, pulling you closer into him. He usually saved acts of affection like this when you were truly alone, but the veranda you had found was tucked away. You wouldn’t be bothered any time soon.

You leaned your head on his shoulder, your shoulders pressed together, the sun slowly fading in the distance. You looked at him, giving him a soft smile.

“It’s beautiful.” You uttered, bringing your hand over his that was draped over your shoulder.

“Hm.” Crosshair grunted in agreement, glancing down at you, the dimming sunlight casting a warm glow over your skin. You brushed your lips against his, content in this moment. Crosshair accepted your kiss, deepening it by leaning more toward you.

His hand that was free secretly slipped down to his side to his pocket. You didn’t notice what he was doing, too lost in his kiss. Crosshair pulled away from you, knowing it was now or never. His arm left your shoulder, leaning away from you slightly. That’s when you noticed he was holding something out to you in his hand.

You stared, taking a moment to realize what he was holding. It was small and shiny. You focused your eyes and realized it was a ring.

You gawked, trying to process what he was offering to you, and why.

The gears turned in your head, your mouth opening and closing, at a loss for words.

Was he…was this?

“C-Crosshair?” You whispered, your voice shaking, looking between him and the ring. “What…what is this?”

He didn’t say anything as you continued to gaze at the ring, not wanting to misinterpret the gesture.

“I’m not getting down on one knee if that’s what you’re expecting.” He grumbled, shifting in his seated position, waiting for your answer.

Tears filled the sides of your eyes, his words solidifying exactly what he was asking you.

And he was doing it in the most Crosshair way possible.

“Crosshair, are you asking me to marry you?” Your voice was hoarse, your heart pounding in your chest.

Crosshair rolled his eyes, yet his expression was soft.

“Yes, why else would I be giving this to you?”

He held the ring out further, gesturing for you to take it.

You gently took the ring from his hands, turning it in your fingers.

Embedded in the band was a jewel in your favorite color, catching the light of the setting sun.

“How long have you…?”

“Are you saying yes or not?”

You looked at him, seeing him intensely waiting, his eyes locked on yours. Was there a hint of nervousness deep in his eyes?

You gripped the ring in your hand, knowing your answer without a second thought. You slung your arms around his neck, pulling him into a flaming kiss.

“Yes! Crosshair, yes!” You gasped against his lips as his moved just as passionately against yours. You could swear you felt a weight lift off his shoulders, his body relaxing.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks as you kissed, his arms wrapping around you. Begrudgingly, you pulled away after what seemed like hours, realizing you were still grasping the ring in your hand.

“I love you.” You whispered as your lips left his. He squeezed you tighter. “I know.” You released him from your embrace, looking at the ring again in your hand, and looking back at him. You couldn’t help the wide smile on your face, though tears were still wetting your cheeks.

“Don’t get sappy on me.” He whispered, bringing a hand to wipe the tears from your face.

You huffed, grinning. “You’re calling me sappy?”

Crosshair chuckled, a rare small smile gracing his face, his sharp features softening momentarily.

“Well, are you going to put it on me properly?” You asked. Crosshair’s smile turned signature sly smirk as he took the ring from you.

With a gentleness only he could show you, Crosshair took your hand, sliding the ring on your finger.

It fit perfectly.

“Does anyone know?” You wondered, admiring how it looked, happiness flooding your entire being.

“Wrecker knows. Which means everyone does since he can’t keep a secret.”

You laughed as you leaned against him, both of you looking back at the sky, the sun now almost completely set. You placed your newly ringed hand on his thigh, his own hand covering yours.

You continued to sit silently, the last rays of light fading beyond the horizon. Nothing more needed to be said.

Quiet is peace.

Quiet is love.

@wanderer-six @pb-jellybeans

#Crosshair #crosshair tbb #crosshair x reader #crosshair tbb x reader #crosshair x you #starrycatwrites #the bad batch #The bad batch x reader #The bad batch fanfiction

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starbeltconstellation · 5 months ago

Note

So I gotta ask, do you have any headcannons(or cannons I guess since you're the author) about Melanie and Anakin that you can share without spoilers to much.

I'm going through Rewrite the stars withdrawal lol

Awww, thank you so very much for the ask, dear! (And so sorry again about your Rewrite the Stars withdrawal. 😭 Things have been crazyyy in my life. My bro was in the hospital for a while, but he’s okay now though. Also just me fighting my never ending depression spells 🙃). 😅😂

I would be happy to offer some “head” canons! Or canons, technically, as you said. 😂 Lol.

Essentially, this has become like one big, long SW meta analysis and meta analysis on my SW fic, Rewrite the Stars, and Anakin and Melanie’s characters. Sorry for the long response. 😭 I got really into explaining my thoughts. Haha.

I’ll put this under a read more, as it’s VERYYY long:

I’ll just say that the entire reason I started this story is because well, I wanted a fix it fic of course. 😂 But also just because I wanted to write this kind of grand, epic tale in general, just like Star Wars is supposed to be.

A lot of fics I’ve seen like this completely demonize the Jedi most of the time and blame them for their own genocide. And the ones that don’t, also flip it the complete opposite way around and demonize Anakin to where he’s nothing but a cackling demon who kicks puppies for fun (and well… would he do that AFTER the prequel trilogy when he’s in his emo Darth Vader era? Probably. 😂 But he wouldn’t be CACKLING while doing it. He’d be very bitter and callous about it, because Anakin likes to take out his anger on the world when he’s in pain, so by GOD the entire galaxy is gonna be in pain along with him).

But anyways, I’m kinda getting off track.

My point is: the whole reason I started my SW fic is because I wanted to write the type of epic, grand tale of a fic that I’ve been looking for that treats all of its characters with love and respect while ALSO still calling out their flaws and allowing them to grow. That includes everyone: Anakin, Padmé, Ahsoka, Barriss, Mace, Obi-Wan, Dooku, Satine, etc—EVERYONE.

I feel like fandom has become this toxic environment where if you’re criticizing a character, then… (le gasp 😱)… you don’t really LIKE themmm. (Untrue. 😂).

I love, love, LOVE Anakin. He is my hot, insane, child killing bastard of a mans.

… But I also hate him too. 😭😂

I HATE what he’s done and what he believes in after the war and how he just wallows like a child in his pain. I HATE how selfish he is (while at the same time heavily relate to his fear of death and losing those he loves to them dying/growing older). And I also HATE how damn close he was to making a better choice, but he DIDN’T, because in the end, it didn’t MATTER if Anakin technically knew the ‘right’ way to act. He purposely went against it, because he was just too selfish to let go of Padmé (he kinda did a self fulfilling prophecy with her death, but we’re not gonna talk about that part right now), and so he decided his happiness meant more than the entire galaxy, and burned down his childhood home like a school shooter and helped genocide his friends just for the CHANCE to save his wife.

And all of this, in the usual fics I’ve seen, can somehow be undone, just by changing a few little moments in Anakin’s life where he doesn’t get his feelings hurt: ie; Obi-Wan faking his death, Ahsoka leaving the Order/being framed by Barriss, or Mace/Qui-Gon/whoever-the-fuck-you-want-to-say being assigned as his Master instead of Obi-Wan.

And just… no. 😂

As shown through this wonderful SW blog here:

Anakin doesn’t do what he did because, oh, “This, this, and THIS happened to him”, and if you take that away and help him avoid it, he’ll suddenly change and be all warm and fuzzy inside and won’t burn the whole fucking galaxy just because HE cannot handle Padmé (MAYBE) dying and leaving him alone (when he wouldn’t even really BE alone, but Anakin also clearly puts Padmé/romantic love above all else. He might care for his friends and family, but he’d throw them all under the bus if it came down to the wire between them and Padmé). This is something I will go into in the fic as Anakin slowly starts to take a look at himself as he realizes: “wait… wtf? Do I even KNOW what Rex does outside of work? 🤔😨” for him to realize that he’s so obsessive over one person… that everyone else is slowly becoming put to the wayside.

Stopping one or two little things in Anakin’s life during the Clone Wars isn’t going to magically make him see the light and not be a currently ticking time bomb.

That is not how change WORKS. Not REAL change anyway. All of the fics I’ve seen written, usually hand wave a lot of Anakin’s misdeeds and flaws away, and pretend like if you hold Anakin’s hand through certain parts of the war and help him avoid THESE certain moments, that he’ll suddenly just magically become a better person who understands what being selfless and less greedy actually means.

That… is not true change. TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF realizing slowly but surely as the war goes on that he’s slowly becoming someone he doesn’t recognize in the mirror anymore (*cough* Mel line drop from upcoming chapter? 👀✨ *cough*). TRUE change is Anakin HIMSELF working through his flaws and inner demons, before he gradually begins to realize with a sense of sickening horror that he has been WRONG: ie; massacring an entire Tusken village down to the last child while never telling another soul except Padmé about it and whistling happily to himself without a care in the world as the war rages on.

TRUE change (as you might’ve started to guess from the most recent chapter of my fic) is Anakin HIMSELF slowly but surely starting to question his actions, by comparing them to other people he respects and cares for.

Which brings us to your question on “headcanons”.

The entire purpose of the relationship between Melanie and Anakin (besides me living vicariously through her 😂) is that they are a MIRROR for each other.

Melanie and Anakin, while very different, aren’t COMPLETE and total opposites. There are purposeful parallels between them: their moms, their care of droids, their fear of losing those they love to death, and the PURPOSEFUL CHOICE GIVEN TO MELANIE BY THE SHOPKEEPER 👀 that parallels the choice Anakin is given at the end of ROTS by Palpatine himself in their choice to help the galaxy or be selfish and choose themselves/their own wants instead.

There is a quote I have based their relationship off of. I will share it here (if you are still with me, because I know I ramble a lot 😅😂):

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.

—Elizabeth Gilbert

Melanie and Anakin are meant to have parallel journeys, even though their personalities are very different. But it’s more than that: their fatal flaws are in direct conflict with each other.

Anakin’s fatal flaw is: greed/selfishness.

Melanie’s fatal flaw is: fear/judgement.

BUT as they are forced into working together… the more they interact with each other… the more their fatal flaws are FORCED to be challenged by the other.

Anakin’s more selfish nature is challenged more and more by just being in Melanie’s presence and watching how she acts with complete compassion and selflessness in certain situations, which makes him slowly start to look at himself internally and take a look at his own actions and thoughts, gradually beginning to realize how selfish he’s slowly become without even realizing it.

Melanie, in turn, has the purposeful flaw of judgment, which can make her self righteous at times (even if she IS correct most of the time 😂), and also the flaw of fear, which as readers have seen, makes her a bit more cautious than she should be in her actions on trying to outsmart Palpatine to save the galaxy.

It’s kind of ironic: just being AROUND Anakin slowly begins to challenge Melanie’s fatal flaws (since she was completely fucking terrified of him the very first moment she realized she was in the SW universe and realized Anakin/Darth Vader was real now 😂). She sees things in such a black and white way at first, but as time goes on, Anakin’s need to be gentle with her and prove himself to Mel, makes her question her judgment with him, which allows her the ability to give him a chance. In turn, just being in his PRESENCE challenges her other fatal flaw on fear, since he’s a walking nightmare PTSD trigger for her pounding heart (and not always in the fun way 👀💓❤️‍🔥☠️😂).

Anyway, my point is that they aren’t just meant to be together romantically to be TOGETHER. It’s because I have purposefully tried to develop a romantic slow burn relationship that comes with my story to weave itself against the original theme of Rewrite the Stars, which is this: TRUE change and atonement/redemption.

Anakin physically CANNOT get closer to Mel, until he forced himself to take a step back and give her some space. If he wants to get anywhere with her, he HAS to start looking internally at himself to try and change and be more gentle with her.

Melanie, in turn, CANNOT outsmart Palpatine and win the war without Anakin’s help and working together with him over the next three years of The Clone Wars. She HAS to get past her judgment and allow herself to swallow her terror enough to give him a chance, because she NEEDS him to win.

This is a chess match between her and Palpatine, remember? And if you lose the king, you lose the game.

ANAKIN is the king. 👀

I bet you can’t guess what chess piece Melanie is. 😂 Lol.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve done a whole lot of taking in circles (sorry about that 😅), because I wanted to go ahead and explain my whole process for this fic while I had the time, so I can also refer this post if I ever need to again.

Now! Getting into some more FUN Stuff:

Idk if you’ve looked up my fic on Wattpad, but I have a lot of cool graphics posted there from my mind and from other artists/authors that have gifted me such wonderful cover art ( @shoniwake ! 👀✨❤️), and in a certain subsection, I have a whole playlist page dedicated as a type of ‘outline’ for the entire story of my fic (fair warning, it’s a lot 😅), just because I think it helps me with planning stuff out.

I won’t tell you all of them, of course. But I’ll share a few of my favorite songs that I always think are the PERFECT songs for Melanie and Anakin’s relationship and their slow burn romantic development. 😭🥺💔❤️💕✨

Innocence by Nathan Wagner

Stronger Together by Lou & SQVARE

Now I See by Lou & SQVARE

I love these three songs so much, because of their theme of two people coming together as a team and/or learning to open up their hearts to the other and to help the other person the see world in a different way. 🥹❤️💕

This is basically what I want for Melanie and Anakin. Their relationship isn’t just about having a romance in the story (although that’s part of it. Haha 😂💕). It’s about how their relationship meshes in with the rest of the themes of the story: TRUE change and growth into something better.

Melakin is purposely written to be in direct contrast to Anidala (which is still written with care and not erasing their genuine affection, by the way! I think it’s extremely lazy writing to write a canon relationship OOC just to prop up your OC’s own), which shows the difference between a more healthy developing relationship that is based on genuine care and respect (Melakin) and in contrast with one that is more based around idealizing the other person/ignoring their faults and putting them up on a pedestal that is sure to lead to disappointment (Anidala).

This is, as you know from reading the fic, slowly starting to be shown in how Anidala acts with each other in their trash fire (in my opinion! Don’t kill meeee! 🙌😂) of a marriage, which has them basically talking past each other/not really caring about anything that isn’t SPECIFICALLY RELEVANT to the other person (ie; them. Not anything with their family or job. Just THEM. Because while the love is genuine, it’s also eerily obsessive, which was GL’s whole point of them being star crossed lovers that burn out from their own flawed choices in regards to being together and trying to have it all).

This is also shown in my fic with Melakin vs Anidala contrasting each other in Anakin’s choices and how he interacts with them. Anakin REMEMBERS stuff about Mel’s life and choices that really he has no need to care about, but he does anyway. In contrast, there is a scene in the latest chapter of my SW fic where Anakin forgets a very… important member… of Padmé’s family 😭 (If you know, you know 👀🫣😬). 😂

I guess what I’m saying is is that I’m trying to not PREACH to the readers of my fic. I’m trying to write scenes that SHOW them what I believe to be true in regards to Anidala’s toxic relationship/the Jedi being scapegoats that everyone cruelly blames for their own genocide/how the Jedi culture might not be how THE READERS want to live, but it doesn’t change the fact that it IS a valid culture/way to live, and it doesn’t deserve to be eradicated just because you don’t understand/like/agree with it.

I’m trying to lead up into the themes and lessons of my fic as I go along, is what I’m saying. 😂 Which is a really heavy feat, considering how long it’ll end up being as a grand, epic tale. 😩

And a big part of the theme of my SW Fic: genuine change and growth into something better than you were before (ie; TRUE redemption) cannot happen to Anakin as easily as some of the time travel fix-it fics/other fix-it fics I’ve seen written on A03 before. Changing a few little things so Anakin doesn’t have to deal with a few moments in his life is not GENUINE and TRUE change. What that is is essentially placation. It’s PLACATING and CODDLING someone dangerous, which allows them (for the MOMENT) to calm down, because they are generally happy and have the things they want and aren’t under stress like Anakin was in the ending of ROTS when there was nobody there to hold his hand for him to ‘guide’ him in the right direction.

For TRUE change and redemption to happen for Anakin, he has to admit to himself that he was WRONG.

He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that actions he has taken are horrific (the Tusken Massacre), and accept people’s/the Jedi’s judgment on it without becoming defensive and acting like he’s being unfairly attacked and punished for something not that big of a deal. He has to ADMIT and ACKNOWLEDGE that his thought process has slowly but surely become corrupted over the years without him even realizing it, whether that’s from the war or Palpatine stroking his ego or from the trauma of his childhood making him cling to things too hard—it doesn’t really matter. He has to RECOGNIZE that he has become someone over the years that he can’t even recognize in the mirror in relation to that little nine year old boy on Tatooine (about how selfish he has become), and what he can do to change that.

I know some fans will think I am attacking Anakin and that I hate him or something (and well… I DO hate him… but I also love him 🫣☠️❤️😂), but that is not the case. I LOVE Anakin’s character and truly relate to him on such a deep level in terms of how terrified he is of losing the people he loves to death. I can recognize myself and some of my worst fears deeply in him.

However, at the same time, I can also acknowledge that Anakin’s trauma from his childhood (from slavery/his mother dying in front of him), has essentially made his entire personality completely self serving. Because yes, Anakin can care about other people. He cares about and loves his friends. He’d do anything he could to keep them from harm (at least in TCW era 🥶☠️), but the hard truth is… he doesn’t think of his relationships and saving them from death in terms of what his LOVED ONES deserve or what THEY will lose if they die. He thinks about it in terms of what HE will lose if they die.

He straight up says it in the scene with Mace and then the scene with Palpatine: He NEEDS to keep Palpatine (who he KNOWS is an evil Sith Lord) alive, because it’s the only way he can keep Padmé alive. HE can’t live without HER.

There’s genuine love there. I am not denying that. Anakin isn’t a cackling villain like Palpatine (it’s the whole reason Anakin CAN be talked into coming back to the Light Side by Luke, whereas Palpatine would melt Luke’s fucking face off without hesitation if he tried). He cares and loves his family and friends and wife and kids… in a TOXIC way. In an OBSESSIVE way. In a way that is essentially all about HIM: ie; selfish.

Example 1:

Out of context, this sounds very romantic and simply just a reasonable amount of worry. But in relation to all the other things Anakin will end up saying while referring to Padmé as essentially a possession, I’m placing it here anyway as perhaps a sign of his darkening thoughts.

Example 2:

Yes, yes, I knowwww… some of you ladies will be like: 🥺💔 at the sad murder puppy moment. And I suppose it’s still very evil wet cat bastard level/blorbo of him in a intoxicating way for people who want to feel loved—at the same time, he’s essentially saying: look, man, I don’t care if I gotta murder some kids and betray my friends and descend the galaxy and Republic into darkness (which I know my wife will be fucking horrified at). It’s very important that I DO NOT have to deal with this pain, okay?? 😭 Everyone else can be in pain, but not meeee. I’ll crush and stab my friends in the back just so I won’t be left alone from my wife dying.

Very sad. Very wet cat villain blorbo of him.

And yet—VERY selfish and evil. 😭🤷‍♀️👀😂

He’s essentially saying—fuck the galaxy. Let me get mine, and I’ll go home. ☠️

Example 3:

This one’s pretty obvious. By this point, he’s lost his shit. His mind’s already cracking at the seams as he tries to keep justifying the actions he’s taken, which will eventually lead into his 20 year long dissociation where he essentially goes, “Nahhh, that wasn’t meee. That was DARTH VADER. Anakin didn’t do that, because ANAKIN is still a good person (he mutters to himself over and over like a maniac at night in his emo villain lair), whereas I AM THE DARK INCARNATE. 😌🖤” so he doesn’t have to admit to himself that HE—yes, THAT he, Anakin fucking Skywalker—has become an actual terrible fucking person with no heart. 🤷‍♀️😭😬

I don’t see why this is so hard for SW fandom to get. It’s a METAPHOR George Lucas uses to say Darth Vader killed Anakin (and also just a way to plug up the plot hole of what Obi-Wan originally told Luke in the first movie). It doesn’t mean that Anakin’s consciousness is sleeping inside Vader’s head like a fucking cat. Lmao. 😭

Not only would that not make SENSE in terms of how GL wrote it, but it also just essentially makes Anakin’s ‘redemption’ (I don’t really view it as a true redemption. More like just the Christian version of salvation for his soul by the skin of his teeth. Although GL did say Anakin was redeemed in the eyes of LUKE only, because he said some crap about being redeemed in the eyes of our children) all but useless. 😭 You can’t say on one hand that Darth Vader’s ‘redemption’ is the most iconic one of all time, while at the same time saying on the other hand that “Anakin never did any of those things. It was DaRtH VaDeR! 🤪🤪🤪” because then you’re essentially absolving Anakin of all of his crimes while on the Dark Side, and if Anakin is absolved of all of his crimes… then wtf is there TO make him the most iconic ‘redemption’ of all time??? 😭🤷‍♀️ I mean, like—what IS there to ‘redeem’ at that point??? Ya can’t have both, kids. Lol. 😂

This is also essentially what Anakin wanted in terms of his relationship with Padmé and the Jedi Order. He wanted it ALL. He wanted BOTH. Sureee, he TALKED about quitting the Jedi Order eventually after the war to be with Padmé in a little space cottage. But could he WALK THE WALK? Could he really give up the thrill of chasing an enemy, or the twitch of his fingers in reaching for his lightsaber? 😑🤔 Me myself has some doubtssss.

He wanted it ALL. He wanted to be married while ALSO having the strength and power that came from being a Jedi Knight. He didn’t WANT to choose. He even SAYS it.

Example 4: Essentially this SW meme

He doesn’t want to CHOOSE. And it’s why it’s BS when it’s argued he was put in this position by the Council’s rules on marriage, because it’s LITERALLY just like a vow of a priest at a Catholic Church. They can’t marry either, just like the Jedi Order. BUT (unlike what fandom likes to believe), the Order isn’t some cult, and you are free to leave at any time (and hell, they’ll even build a statue after you leave, apparently, if the one they built of Dooku that’s in the Archives (I think) is anything to go by), just as a priest is free to leave the Catholic Church at any time. Because it’s a COMMITMENT to that place. And people might think it’s dumb/stupid/not like it—or even understand it! And you don’t HAVE to like something from a religion/culture/belief, or understand something, to still respect it (another theme drop for the next chapter of my SW fic? 👀😂).

So, what some people will probably wonder is—“But, Starbelt! (Le gasp 😱) Then how is the Jedi culture going to be respected in my fic, if Melakin is still endgame at the end of their slow, slow burn?”

And to that question, I say, “I am not a by-the-book-to-the-very-LETTER interpreter of the Jedi Code (although I’m not saying the code of an entire culture is gonna be ‘changed’ for legit one person/couple. Lmao. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️😂), but I AM a Jedi lover who is of the belief that—even if you don’t completely AGREE or even UNDERSTAND the Jedi Order and their code—it shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be difficult to respect it. It shouldn’t be difficult to not scold a culture on their beliefs, while essentially saying that belief is the reason it is ‘good’ for The Force/galaxy that they were genocided as a ‘clean slate’. 😬🤦‍♀️☠️”

What I WILL say, is that I am going to explore the Jedi Order and the different interpretations of the Code and The Force in general in this fic, and what that means in terms of coexistence, instead of the frankly childish notion of just painting an entire culture as emotionless and wrong in their beliefs, like they are some kind of stuck up, snooty and rich culture that ‘deserved what they got’. 🙄🤦‍♀️😬☠️

ANYWAY, back to my point with Anakin, and how my fic is trying to complete the most massive and epic of all writing tasks: making Anakin slowly change and grow out of his greed and selfishness into a better person in such an organic way, that perhaps may one day be compared with the likes of Zuko’s redemption from ATLA (I know, I knowww. Pretty high hopes for myself. Lol. 😂).

So, essentially, in the original “timeline” of ROTS, Anakin is freaking losing it, and since nobody is there to hold his hand, he descends right into the core selfishness that is buried inside of him, where he basically just decides, “Fuck it,” and throws all of his morals out the window so he can keep himself from the pain of losing Padmé (ie; it’s really about HIM and his fear, and not about Padmé deserving to live and see more beauty in the world) by cutting off Mace’s hand to stop him from killing Palpatine, because—in Anakin’s OWN words:

Example 5:

Like… 🤷‍♀️😭.

People like to sing “Lalalala,” and plug their ears by pretending Anakin is just so shocked in this scene (le gasp 😱) that Mace is being so UN-JEDI-LIKE, and that it just convinced him that the Jedi Order truly has been ‘corrupted’. 🤦‍♀️🙄

Now see… that might hold some water if Anakin literally didn’t scream “I NeEd HiM! 😡” at Mace like an unhinged five year old, which literally PROVES that the only reason Anakin wants Mace to keep Palpatine alive and not to kill the guy yet is because he needs to learn the super-secret-Dark-Side-magicy way of how to save himself from the pain of losing Padmé to dying in childbirth.

… Because like some may recall, Anakin LITERALLY beheaded Dooku himself all but like… what? 12 hours ago? 😭🤦‍♀️

Essentially, this meme:

So, essentially, what I’m getting at here is: Anakin is a goddamn hypocrite. 😂

Now, in relation to my SW fic? What I essentially am TRYING to accomplish, is to have Anakin slowly CHANGE HIMSELF as the war goes on and he interacts more with Melanie and witnesses her compassion, while in turn comparing her actions to his own.

Melanie isn’t supposed to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ Anakin. Anakin is supposed to be INSPIRED to change from how he grows to care and admire Mel’s choices and who she is inside her heart as the Clone Wars rages on.

I do all of this, so in the HOPES that when he is presented with this scene again, it makes perfect sense to all readers of my fic that his choice may become different—essentially choosing for ONCE, a more selfless route, out of no expectation that he will gain anything in return (that only happens with Luke like—20 years later—and it’s not like he had many other options at that point. 😭🤷‍♀️ Lol.).

(And as I said—MAY become different… 👀 After all, Melanie still has a long way to go before the end of the war… 👀)

But yeah—that’s my plans with my SW Anakin x OC Fic, Rewrite the Stars, and how I’m planning it and Melakin’s relationship to go. I placed a big feat on myself. 😂❤️💕

If you wanna see some of my like… ideas/notes on what I have planned to eventually place in there somewhere, I will show you a few things, because it’s not really SPOILERS, since I already talk about the Jedi genocide a lot anyway (it drives me up the wall when SW fandom refers to it as ThE FaLl Of ThE jEdi 🤪🤪🤪). Guess it makes it easier to blame them all for their own deaths that way if you refer to their genocide and slaughter as a “fall”. 😭🙄 Idk. 🤷‍♀️

I also have some stuff with the history of Churches splitting into different factions (ie: The Great Schism of 1054), which I will be weaving in as a parallel at some point. 👀👀 I will not explain why, as that would be too spoilery, but I’m sure some of my more in depth analysis readers on my work could guess if they thought about it hard enough… 👀

There are also some comparisons on the Jedi genocide in the SW universe, and how it parallels the Air Nomad genocide in the ATLA universe pretty much to a T in terms of how fast it all happens in one day, and also how any survivors were hunted down and lured out with relics of their own culture, not to MENTION just the fact that both of these cultures are just non-western inspired in general (seriously, what is with people and killing monks in Temples? Lol. 🤷‍♀️😂). It’s also just an interesting comparison in general, because where the ATLA fandom usually is quite sympathetic to the Air Nomad genocide, on the other hand, the SW fandom is so nauseatingly nonchalant and cruel about the Jedi Order’s genocide that it’s almost downright weird. It’s almost like the SW fandom has this THING about never calling the Jedi’s “Fall 🙄” what it actually was—a horrific genocide. I swear to Godddd, SW fandom must be allergic to the word. 😂🤦‍♀️

I also threw in the ‘Hero’s journey’ thing I’ve been using for Melanie to try and make her a relatable protagonist, while also still having her own character arc along with Anakin’s. It was really important to me that she had her OWN arc away from Anakin, and that she had more connections and relationships in the SW universe than just him. Not only does it weaken her character if she had been made to be all about HIM, but it also just makes a certain… choice… 👀… with The Shopkeeper (her antagonist who parallels Palpatine, Anakin’s antagonist) hit all the more harder, because saving the ENTIRE GALAXY isn’t even about saving ANAKIN at all for her. Not at first, anyway.

Instead, from the very beginning, it’s all about how Melanie grows to care and feel compassion for the people she meets in the SW universe and becomes friends with, and how she cannot turn away from them and leave them behind to die, when she has knowledge that can help change their fates. It was SO important to me that Anakin is not even on Mel’s RADAR at first. She doesn’t hate him or anything. She doesn’t want him dead, but it’s not really about SAVING him either (if that happens along the way, it’s a happy bonus for her). Because—as you know—she’s TERRIFIED of him in the beginning, and just plans to avoid him like the plague.

And in doing so, she grows closer to others in the SW universe: Ahsoka, Rex, Yoda, Fives, Obi-Wan, all of the other clones, etc. ALL of that is so important for a certain choice she makes with The Shopkeeper (which I won’t spoil for any new readers who may stumble across this post and want to read my work 👀😂).

So, essentially, my fic is a grand, epic tale, that our main protagonist, Melanie Bains, is going on to save millions of lives in a galaxy far, far away from death and suffering.

No pressure, huh? 😂😬

That’s definitely going to crack and fracture at Mel’s psyche as time goes on… 🥶 The weight of such a feat on one’s shoulders essentially all alone becomes overwhelming. 😓💔 (*Cough* Hint for next chapter? 👀 *cough*).

So I’m really trying to follow that ‘Hero’s journey’ format. I already have her character arc outlined with a clear beginning and end. I just have to find the will to write the thousands and thousands of words to get there to that point. 😩😭😂

It still makes me so happy how many people relate and enjoy Mel. 😌🥹❤️💓🥰

Some planned themes I am going to weave in as the story goes along:

Example 1: Genocide

Air Nomad genocide propaganda from ATLA:

Jedi Order genocide propaganda (Not sure if it’s from before or after Order 66. Either way, it’s meant to rile the populace up against them and demonize the Jedi as ‘other’, like emotionless wizards that are barely human and aren’t capable of true compassion since they’re a ‘cult’ and not from ‘true’ familial structures, unlike the ‘good ol’ regular populace with their attachments 🤪’) from SW:

Example 2: Church factions splitting up/The Great Schism of 1054

Example 3: Hero’s Journey (Mel’s character arc)

… Now, moving past that long meta ramble, here’s some more songs from my playlist on Wattpad for Melakin’s developing romantic relationship and it’s slow, slow burnnnn. 👀💓❤️‍🔥😂

Borderline by Florrie

Let Me In by Michael Corcoran

The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson

Minefields by Faouzia & John Legend

Unlike the previous songs in the earlier part of this meta post, THESE songs are more about Melakin struggling to open up to each other. I’ll admit, a lot of it is more focused on Anakin trying to get Melanie to open up to him, because he doesn’t understand why she’s acting so terrified of him at first.

The one song that’s more about both of them trying to find common ground is “Borderline”, which is meant to be them both reaching out and trying to meet each other halfway. 😊🥰🥺❤️💕

And if you’re wondering what my favorite song is out of all of them?

It’s the “Innocence by Nathan Wagner” song. WITHOUT a doubt. It’s the PERFECT Melakin song that is basically what the whole arc of their relationship is supposed to be. 😭🥹❤️💔💕

Whew, that was a long post! So sorry about that. 😅😂🤷‍♀️ I just got really into talking about my fic and my writing process. I think this has even helped me with motivation! Losing hyperfixations is a bitchhhh. 😖😖

The only other thing I will add is this to hopefully ease your and everyone else’s minds: I may have to go on hiatuses every now and then because of writer’s block or a family/life problem like the recent one with my brother being in the hospital for a while. BUT! No matter WHAT, I will NEVER abandon this fic. It is literally gonna be my damn life’s work—I swearrrrr. 😖✊😂

To end this long SW meta off, I’m going to link another two great Pro Jedi SW meta posts from the wonderful Pro Jedi blog I mentioned earlier. Feel free to check it out if you want, because it’s a lot of Mel’s thoughts on the Jedi, and part of the problems she has to find a way to solve as the war goes on by trying to keep the Jedi in favor of the public’s eyes:

To any new readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

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