#man gay people are annoying sincerely a gay person

[mybraindumpsterfire]

… they have matching phone cases… good thing im completely normal about this

[gayf1hoe]

Part 5

M/N Pov:

After we dropped Charles off I felt the tension leave the car, I could feel him just glaring at me for the majority of the journey. As we continue driving to the hotel Oscar sparks a conversation I was hoping to avoid by saying “So what's up between you and Charles, are you both still angry at each other?” I sigh in discontent, “we just don't see eye to eye and I think it's best if we don't interact”. For the rest of the journey we spent it singing along to the music with Yuki making me go deaf with his horrible impersonation of Adele.

When we got to the hotel we all received our room keys and I found out I was next door to Yuki. Me and Yuki have been best friends since he came over to Europe to participate in a karting championship when we were younger. Despite being older Yuki was always reminded that he was shorter. I would be lying if I said there wasn't something between us but it's platonic, many people have assumed because I'm gay I must be sleeping with every driver on the grid.

We make our way to our rooms and I quickly unpack and head downstairs to make use of the pool, most driver's head to the gym in their free time. I however am not one of those drivers, the thought of voluntary exercise repulsed me. I settle down on a sunbed and place my headphones in and play my favourite podcast and I slowly drift off to sleep. However I'm quickly disturbed when I feel myself being lifted up I open my eyes and see George and Logan lifting me,

“PUT ME DOWN MOTHER FUCKERS” I screamed in this a bit too loudly in the 5 star hotel, and my pleading was to no avail they threw me in, I got out of the pool and embraced George in a hug soaking him in the process and I said “Payback is a bitch” in a very smug tone.”What about Logan it was him as well”, he whined like a little baby “don't worry I will get my revenge when he least expects it”.

I wait to dry of for a bit as it's forbidden to walk through the hotel wet and I thought I had dried off enough before walking into the hotel however the water that had been sliding down my leg made the marble floor even more slippery and I felt myself falling backwards before I felt a strong grip around my forearm, and as I'm about to thank whoever it was I see that it's Charles. At first I question how the fuck he managed to unpack and make his way to our hotel so quickly but then I realise that I had been blankly staring into his eyes and he was still holding onto my arm, “erm… thank you” I say and he let's go of my arm, I see Logan walk past smugly and I shout “You are a dead man American don't think you're getting away with this” Charles shoots me a confused look so I quickly elaborate “he threw me in the pool” I say whilst death staring Logan.

I excuse myself and make my way to my room change for the grid dinner in Monaco that night. I try to decide what outfit I want to wear but my wardrobe only consists if black jeans and team T Shirts but I eventually find a plain white polo so I wear that with black jeans. I'm the first one down there and I'm waiting when Charles starts a conversation with me “look I know we got off on the wrong foot, and we didn't exactly exchange nice words but I want to start again, I don't want to be enemies or have any hate between us” he says I can tell he is sincere and means it “me too” I say “ I understand how unbearable, stubborn and annoying I can be sometimes and I'm sorry for what I did, I didn't mean to make you feel upset in any way” Charles smiles before saying “Did I manage to get ‘I'm sorry’ out of the M/N L/N the most unapologetic person ever” we both giggle at that statement and we are interrupted by Yuki who is making his way over to us, I sense a change in Charles demeanour when Yuki arrives.

And soon Pierre arrives and the two start taking in French about how random things and then Charles said “Nous nous sommes finalement réconciliés et je suis si heureux parce que je détestais nous ou nous ”

Translation: We finally made up and I'm so happy because I hated it when we would argue or ignore each other.

When he says this I smile and say “Il faut être prudent lorsque vous parlez des gens en français surtout si vous ne savez pas s'ils le parlent ou non”

Translation: You should be careful when you speak about people in french especially if you don't know whether or not they speak it.

Both of their faces change drastically, I can tell they are shocked, “You little shit how do you know french?” Pierre says whilst laughing “Well I went to school and they taught us French” I replied I could tell they were expecting something more extravagant like me living in France at one point.

By the time we had discussed how I learnt French from School the rest of the drivers had arrived and we made our way towards the local restaurant where we would be dining when we got to our table unsurprisingly Yuki was sitting on my left however surprisingly Charles was sitting on my right. Whilst we had made up it still felt quite awkward, every time Yuki would speak to me he would get my attention by doing something stupid. But everytime he did something stupid for my attention I fell in love even more.

******* TW- ED ******

It came to ordering and I had always hated restaurants from a young age. I was given diet plan after diet plan no matter what my weight was. Every team would tell me I could be lighter. In racing weight is everything. And whilst Mercedes had been great and not given me any dietary plan I still was conscious whilst ordering, whilst everyone was ordering pizzas, steak and pasta I ordered a simple Chicken Salad.

This is when Max made it a big deal “M/N” he said quite loudly even though he was only opposite me “we are in this amazing restaurant and you only order a salad” by now I had at least 6 other people's eyes on me I manage to brush it off by saying “I just want something light I don't like eating big meals in one sitting” everyone then goes back to doing what they are doing. But my nerves are getting the better of me and I can feel my leg starting to bounce up and down and my vision is getting blurry. So I excuse myself and walk towards the little yard the restaurant has out back for a smoking area but there's no one there. I sit on the bench breathing heavily and on the verge of tears when I feel a presence next to me.

I look up and see Charles who had followed me out. “Are you good Mon ami?” He asks in a sweet and concerned tone “Yeah I just needed some air” I reply shakily, he embraces me in a side hug and says “You can tell me anything you know” I nod a begin to speak “It's just my whole life I have been told what to and what not to eat, by my coaches, friends, parents, family, team Principals everyone I hate it when people question my food choices it makes me feel self conscious and I know it sounds stupid and I hate it, but I can't control it” I say now fully in tears Charles hugs me tighter and says “you have nothing to be sorry for, I know we aren't best friends yet, but I will always be here for you” I just hug him.

After a while of calming down we head back in and the food is beginning to arrive at the table. My salad is placed in front of me and I begin to just stare at it not having an appetite but I manage to eat half of it over the time span of an hour. Everyone is chatting away about the race that is happening in 3 days and what training they are doing until then. Me and Charles are just talking about my life in England and his life in Monaco and our families. After what feels like 5 minutes it's now 10 pm at night and we all start to leave separately Yuki and Pierre left earlier and me and Charles leave together, he insists on walking me back to the hotel which I don't argue with.

We are walking along the streets of Monaco with him pointing out every little detail and piece of sentimental history each thing has to him.

As we arrive at my hotel I tell him he's free to go but he insists on walking me to my room, and as I open the door and turn to face him we bid each other a goodnight.

I collapse on my bed and text the one person I know I can to go for good advice Sebastian, the man who is my role model, best friend and like my dad:

-----

M/N: Hey Seb, I need to talk to you. Is it OK now??

Seb: Of course I'm always here to talk

M/N: I think I'm in love, but I think he's straight and we didn't get off to the best start and I'm so confused.

Seb: Let me guess Charles.

M/N: How did you guess?

Seb: This is the exact same way your and Mick's relationship started, and like I said then spend time with him, don't rush into anything you have all the time in the world, let him know the real you and not the tough facade you want everyone to see.

M/N: Thanks Seb, I love you, you always give the best advice

Seb: No problem, now rest for your training. I love you too.

-----

I drop my phone on my bed and have a shower and sit outside for a while looking at the night sky whilst reading. I then decide to get some rest for tomorrow's training and gather the guts to ask Charles to spend the day with me on Thursday.

[elvenbeard]

Long rambly headcanon post about Kerry's sexuality incoming (because I have been thinking about this ever since I first met him in game and I wanna write it down somehwere).

Disclaimer: this is my personal headcanon. You don't have to agree with any of this, this is for fun and games. If you do happen to agree with this though hmu bc I need someone to talk Kerry with desperately xDD

So, first of all: I think Kerry himself doesn't give a fuck about labels. Too old for this shit, confident in his own sexuality, what difference does it make? Labels are great for those who need them, he's not against them at all, but I don't think it's something that's he's thinking about a lot. Is he gonna put on a rainbow shirt for Pride? Yeah why not, especially if his partner would like to go protest and celebrate togther. But I think it's not a top priority of his (at least not anymore, in 2077, at the ripe old age of 89. A young Kerry living in our times was probably louder and a lot more outspoken, but in this post I'm gonna talk about my thoughts on grandpa Kerry).

So, let's dive into the game. When the topic of Louise came up during my first playthrough (the first and only time sadly, I'd love to know more about her as a character - more headcanons incoming in a minute), internally I went like... what? Where does this come from? Not in a judgemental way, just honest surprise, because up until this point, Kerry had only been depicted as attracted to guys (making the saddest puppy eyes at Johnny, making out with a fan backstage, Johnny's various comments on him, their sexual-tension-filled relationship with each other). Beyond that, what we know from Kerry himself, he seemed to have tried to get something going with Ariel (who I think is a man - correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I played the actual conversation between him and Johnny at the villa and I'm not sure if he mentions Ariel's gender there). In the Temperance ending, if V was in a relationship with Kerry, Kerry will recount his other shitty exes of which at least one was also a man, and in the Sun ending, when his (male) manager calls, V can ask if that is "an ex of [his]".

That being said... yeah, Kerry flirts with V regardless of gender. Why? Maybe he doesn't know that himself, maybe he thinks V is cute, maybe it's a power play, maybe he just wants to annoy Johnny who cannot escape the situation, who knows, anything goes. His whole rockstar persona is this carefree, laidback sexgod thing, of course he's gonna be flirty. He is flirty with the Us Cracks girls, too (at least I'm getting the impression - they definitely are flirty with him and he doesn't mind, but it could also all be part of the show). So me personally, yeah, I think Kerry is bisexual, but with a strong preference for guys (sincerely, me, a bisexual who also has a preference for guys). Maybe Louise was his bisexual awakening, or a once-in-a-lifetime thing that never happened again with any other woman, or a mix of both. See also: Kerry turns a female-presenting V down when things get serious. Flirting is fun, she is nice and kind and into it, so why the hell not? But he's not gonna lead her on when he notices she wants more than what he's willing to give. Friends can flirt with each other without it turning romantic or sexual. And yeah, I think Kerry is generally attracted to people regardless of what's in their pants, but as soon as things get serious he is infinitely more likely to go for a guy than for a woman.

That being said (and now we're back at Louise), I think it's absolutely fair to headcanon him as gay, too. There is so little we know about the nature of his only (canonically depicted, spelled-out "that's my ex-wife" style) long-term relationship with a woman. This is the dark future, where you can genetically engineer your child to look however you want it to look. Maybe Kerry and Louise were just two sad and lonely individuals that were like "let's raise kids together to fill the void in our hearts!" - and, using Kerry's words, that went as well as you'd expect it. Could be that Louise is a lesbian who wanted a family and kids, and Kerry, being a close friend of hers, said yeah let's do it (and maybe I won't be so fucking lonely anymore and find a new purpose in being a father)! And for reason xyz it was easier to raise the kids if they were also married (something something about getting married to be allowed to have kids - I etiher heard or read something in game once about a 1-child-license or something, again, dark future fuckery could be involved here). Also, historically, there are certainly countless examples of queer men marrying queer women to get their conservative families off their backs. With how little we know about Louise, not even how old she was when they got together, it could also be something like that. And (turning back now to Kerry's flirty behaviour around women when someone else is watching) everything else could have been part of the show - for families, for the media, for the public, for the fans, everything goes.

What I'm trying to say, there's hundreds of ways to headcanon a fictional character's sexuality. Maybe Louise and Kerry were friends with benefits, maybe they fell madly in love, maybe there's more women in Kerry's past than what the game depicts (there's countless women's clothing items across his villa - that could be anything from leftovers of wild parties in which he wasn't involved to him taking home groupies and everything beyond that and inbetween).

You could also just say "Kerry is gay cause I say so, that's as deep as it gets" and that is just as valid. Don't be like me and spend your sleepless nights thinking about this because my brain works in mysterious ways. If you wanna headcanon him as gay because it brings you comfort, wholeheartedly, go for it. If you wanna heacanon him as not turning down your female V because it brings you comfort, go for it, by all means! If you wanna headcanon him as cis, trans, everything inbetween, hell yes, be my guest!!

Kerry is a fictional character, he's not gonna be offended or hurt. And every real person who gets upset about how someone else likes to play with their favourite pixel ken doll then, well... touch some grass @ that person. Headcanons do not take away representation from marginalized groups. Block and blacklist what you don't wanna see and move on, it's so easy (and on that note, anyone who wants to be weird or hateful on this post is gonna get blocked, too xD).

As I said, this is all my thoughts and opinions, if you don't agree, that's fair, I get it, I don't agree with 80% of headcanons I come across (not even just regarding a characters sexuality, but in general). But yeh I'd also love to talk if you have similar views on him!

On that note... happy pride xD🏳️‍🌈 be kind to each other!

[blistering-typhoons]

BBC SHERLOCK REWATCH - A STUDY IN PINK (REAL TIME NOTES)

From the perspective of someone who watched this show when they were thirteen, made it their whole personality and then stopped being a massive prat.

I thought about organizing this into a cohesive review, and maybe as I go on I'll delve deeper into some of my observations but for now I thought it would be funny to present my findings in raw, mostly unaltered form:

- loud ass opening, my god

- only bit of acting Martin freeman ever does lmao

- dances along to theme against my will

- god the effects and transitions are so shit

- all the shots of the pills are so ugly

- oh yay molly - whoo - yayyy

- the potential withe these two goddamn

- also this sherlock does not drink his respect women juice by god

- fucksake the deduction about john's sister- not only is it translated awfully into this modern setting, it's explicitly a deduction Sherlock is supposed to make once they know eachother a bit better

- THE POTENTIAL

- also sherlock displaying one insecurity when john accidentally insults his stuff- well done moftiss, characterization

- How far away is the crime scene, why it dark

- pls the transitions

- PIPE BOMB, WHOO Phone deductionnnn

- oh my god it's so shit

- uuuuuuuugggghhhh the potential I hate this shooooow

- fuckin deduction as a way for witty one liners and sexism, i hate this place

- 'you were thinking it's annoying' i'm going to send myself off a cliff, CRINGE

- RACHE- moffat, come here a sec- literally putting ACD on par with the police, who are always wrong the sheer audacity- also just a bad change

- these lens flare white lights are so goofy please, you will never be a whole scene of silence with jeremy brett

- benedict cumberbatch is very pretty i will grant

- terrorized by the fact i used to quote this show unironically

- from a writing point of view I understand that John gushing over Sherlock is to show off and emphasize their specialest boy- but, some sincerity is infused into it from an acting standpoint

- 30:02 GIRLIE WHAT IS THAT SOUND EFFECT

- OOH YAY THE PSYCHOPATH/SOCIOPATH STUFF WHOO YEAAAAH

- All the phones calling as john walks past is kinda cool but mostly stupid

- oh anthea, what a rich character lmao

- how long was mycroft posed like that

- First johnlock queerbait whooo

- Where does he fuck off to???

- he just vanishes lmaoooo

- Three patch problem. Bruh.

- I am bored as shit, help

- This music- girl

- Bloated is a very good word to describe some of these scenes

- HERE SHE IS- THE BIG DADDY OF QUEERBAITING

- this scene is insane fucKING INSANE I HATE THIS SHOW

- god how much episode is left fucksake

- the stop/go signs- pick a tone girl

- this episode is so almost good and it's anytime Sherlock makes a mistake lmao

- not the drugs bust :/

- ooh sociopath line- whoo

- "I don't have to [imagine]." OOOH OKAY, WELL, YOU GUYS GET *ONE* POINT FOR THAT SHEESH

- this is so ridiculous- COME WITH ME- girl shut up

- I wanna be done I wanna be doooone.

- lamenting the confrontation we had in the unaired pilot

- The 'Frwhoomp' noise as the light goes out, girl

- 20 Minutes left my christ

- BRO- I forgot that bit of ADR wooooof

- and thus begins the scree of Moriarty

- five years, why is Scotland Yard still doubtful of Sherlock's skills? I know he might have been deep in his addiction during some of that, but they evidently kept him around for crime solving.

- Great man/good man quote has me fumin babes, my god, what a fundamental misunderstanding of Sherlock Holmes

- boring ass back and forth

- this piano is giving me war flashbacks

- is it a five orange pips reference?

- also the pills look like that speckled gum that burns your throat

- when is it oveeer

- falling asleep

- bomb under the table but the table is made of glass and hates gay people

- she tooks the kidssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

- 13 min

- love, or rage, dude, come on Sherlock

- i hate this 'enjoying crime too much' theme they've written

- like watching a stupid play

- once more, the potential

- moriarty he said calmly

- also, so out of character for Sherlock do I even need to say

- peaks of what could have been- FUCK

- this mycroft fake out- lord

- also, mummy, fucksake

- cheesy ending BUT IT'S OVER

[ufonaut]

Hello same anon here and yikes, you’re being rude for no reason. 

I don’t know why you feel the need to call me stupid I was just wondering if you had more stories to share about Elvis’ sexuality because I was genuinely interested but you only have tabloid sources and your personal opinions.

Like saying that anyone with eyes could tell Nick Adams and Elvis dated when even Nick Adams’ daughter said it wasn’t true and no one who knew Elvis personally said it was true either.

And here is the quote from the powderpuff pals article “The Pelvis’ every move is followed by a “cousin” and various other male worshippers”. The cousin they are talking about is Gene Smith who accompanied Elvis on his early tours. Not George Klein. 

I would love to read what Tab Hunter said if you could provide the original article or story. I’m genuinely interested in the queer history of Elvis but you’re just not giving credible sources so that’s why I asked for some.

Red West’s story was about Elvis’ hair because he had his hair styled in ducktails when the style for south was crew cuts at the time. He never mentioned them thinking that Elvis was gay, they didn’t like Elvis because he was influenced by black and urban fashion. Marty Lacker one of Elvis’ highschool friends was bullied for the same thing because he moved to Memphis from New York and dressed in the same style.

You don’t have to be so defensive when I’m just asking for credible sources because I was doing research but have a good day I guess :) 

if i could provide the genuine article and story... man, you're something else. i'm being rude because you're being annoying, it's not exactly normal to send a billion page essay to a person who obviously has no interest in discussing whatever the hell you're talking about.

anyway, if you read beyond the first couple words on this page (which you're clearly incapable of doing), you'll see that the article is indeed not talking about gene but about 'the weasel' (george) and elvis' gay audience

and the tab hunter thing is from his literal 2005 autobiography which you'd be aware of if you were actually interested in doing any research

but also like. do you not live in the real world? do you live in a world where a young man in the 1950s in the american south wore makeup and sheer pink shirts because he was straight? same guy who was a huge liberace fan and lived close to him in palm springs and regularly hung out with him according to jerry schilling? man. come on. you're not even acknowledging his friendship with bill belew or anything larry geller, charlie hodge and a million other people have said in their books

it's just so sincerely weird to me that you come here trying to sound like you're interested in doing research but it's so obviously not the case. anyway i'm blocking you if you send another mssg

[totallyboatless]

I got drunk with my neighbor last night, and it's the first time we've done a real hangout. We ended up talking a bit about me being trans, and I brought up how I'm hoping to have top surgery this year.

She suddenly got teary, and said she was concerned for me, because "that's so traumatic - that's a lot of flesh to cut off."

And like yeah, sure, it is. I tried to convey to her that it's more traumatic for me to have my boobs. They're causing me a lot of psychological pain.

She's honestly the perfect example of a well-meaning white women who uses progressive posturing but doesn't know how to actually follow through with being an ally. She would make the grand statements acknowledging she's a white cis het person with privilege, but like, she told me if I transitioned fully to a man she'd be less likely to be my friend because she doesn't need any more white male friends.

10 minutes before she also told me her people are the gays.

I offered to answer any questions she has about queer and trans identities, and her response was an adamant "but you shouldn't be responsible for educating me" and I was like "yeah, but I'm offering to be a source, I want to." She continued to turn me down. For anyone reading this, if someone from a marginalized group *offers* to educate you, fucking take them up on it. They're offering to be an authoritative and trusted source, because they want to help you understand and get good and accurate information, likely because you said something fucked up and they want to help correct you. To me, turning that offer down is way more annoying than someone asking me to educate them in an ignorant way when I didn't offer.

It's funny, but it also makes me sad. She was sincerely really emotional about the idea of me wanting to go through physical transition, despite claiming to be an ally. It's just a reminder that a lot of people will always see me as "woman lite (tm)" and not understand that doing something like cutting off my tits is going to be the most liberating thing I've done for myself. But to her, it's a tragedy.

[inact-ice]

Season 2 episode 6 let’s gooo!

- madney crumbs love it

- Buck is such a little brother lmao

- Maddie is deeply traumatized I fear

- I miss Abby

- TAYLOR KELLY??? SHE WAS THIS SOON AFTER ABBY?? That’s so wild to me for some reason, I always thought there was a girlfriend between them

- no way buck is fangirling over Taylor right after her helicopter crashed… and she still fucked him? Evan Buckley you are charismatic in ways I can’t comprehend

- hot priest! You will not believe what happens in like 6 seasons

- Taylor Kelly’s back! No girl I will be calling you by your entire title Ms Taylor Kelly

- why’d they make eddie interrupt Taylor and buck all gay like…. Anyways

- wait so buck went from ginger to ginger… love that for him ig

- chimney trying to be sincere while bucks being a goof

- EDDIE STOP SERVING FACE HEN JUST SAID SHE GOT SHOT JESUS

- how come nobody has ever told me hen got SHOT! Do you guys hate black people be honest/j

- oh hens actress is GOOD, i think she might be my fave this season

- encyclopedia BUCK! Except I knew that fact about the hot dog guy so ig we’re not that smart are we

- my quirky grade 7 science teacher sold spiced crickets to raise money at a fundraiser at my school, and they were delicious

- Eddie stop serving face a man just vomited crickets all over the place

- BATHENA! Athena please don’t complain about body cams to me rn I need to like you

- Dad BOBBY HELLO! Dad Bobby GOODBYE

- if Bobby’s trauma stuff makes May sad I’ll cry, I love May a lot for some reason

- bobby kissing Athena goodnight TWICE! I know that’s right, he can’t get enough 😌

- ooh body building competition. I already find these kinda grotesque so this emergency might be too much for me

- ew what’s happening is he like stuck? Oh he is, that’s one of my worst nightmares damn

- Taylor Kelly please stop filming these people in distress it’s scaring me

- Eddie stop serving face a mans kidneys might fail! Also Eddie being a little bitchy towards Taylor Kelly is making me laugh he’s so funny

- BOBBY REPEATING MY EXACT WORDS! Am I dad

- Buck respects Bobby so much aw

- Maddie always looks like she’s about to cry. Omg Maddie using her experience to help others, thank you Batman 2

- Ope, well we do what we can

- sues eyes are so blue wow. And her hairs so red, there are a lot of red heads on this show huh

- oh Maddie… knowing that her fear is so warranted makes this all so sad like Maddie keep the fortress please! Omg fortress of solitude, Maddie superman maybe?

- OMG THIS IS THE EPISODE WHERE THEY GET DRUGGED!! I was wondering why they kept focusing on the food table

- oh Taylor Kelly’s gonna show them being high to the world… oh Taylor Kelly that’s not..

- Girl there’s a heel inside your face

- shrunk beauty queens line my beloved

- yeah fuck the police chimney i know that’s right

- OH NO- TAYLOR KELLY DO NOT AIR BOBBY TALKING ABOUT HIS DEAD CHILD THAT IS SO MEAN!!

- ooh you made him cry line by beloved

- Taylor Kelly you were gonna film a man jumping to his death??? Oh I might not like her

- high bobby, that is in fact the sun and not your dead daughter

- yay for Athena! Why’s Athena dressed like a stud, this show is so funny

- Bobby’s struggle with his addiction being an ongoing thing where he backslides sometime is so nice, really sweet depiction of addiction I think

- Eddie stop serving face I’m trying to watch Taylor Kelly on the tv

- TAYLOR KELLY I MISJUDGED YOU! Buck please be serious

- oh sandy sent them the lsd brownies that is so funny

- the way the cat does not give a single fuck, like waddle along

- Athena being mean to a civilian check thank you

- hi Maddie! Hi Taylor Kelly! HI CHIMNEY! HE LOOKS SO CUUUTE! MADNEY MADNEY MADNEY WOOO

- Buck has done much confidence like I truly thought Taylor Kelly was just mildly annoyed by him… TAYLOR KELLY WHAT?!! GIRL I GET YOU BUT YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO LIKE BE A DECENT PERSON WHAT! She seems so smart, there’s no way she doesn’t realize that that mindset will push her out of the industry. Like treat billionaires and shit like that, not firefighters or innocent civilians

- Athena’s mean gay husband??? What are you doing here?! Lmao black people and mark (firefighter bobby)

- aww Bobby’s part of the family

That was kinda boring I’m not gonna lie

[centi-pedve]

the only reason why we even became a mod was because the owner was crazy and the day we joined, while they were asleep, some guy came in and started acting stupid as shit talking about threatening predators but doing literally nothing to actually stop them or even attempt to stop them since he just had fun being a weirdo, so we clowned on him, we clowned on him hard, alongside our friend. and so he accused our friend of dickriding us which escalated to us and our friend pretending to be homoerotic with each other while continuing to demolish him and his ego, both of us with the full expectation that we would be banned by the morning. and then we got promoted to head moderators because the owner found it funny as shit.

and because of us and our friend, the e-dating discord server which mainly appealed to annoying people seeking out an e-kitten stat soon became a super indulgent gay political evilworld server that happened to have a dating channel. in order to get your e-kitten you had to go through us first which tended to be overwhelming for most people. like

We soon established the norm of using Ahos to communicate. We added an emoji that was just Ahos nervous awkward sprite and then we joked "lol we're gonna use this whenever someone says something weird" and our buddy was all "lol imma do that too" so it was just a mod thing but very soon literally everyone in the server was Ahosing people. Did not know who she was. But whenever a dude came in to be immediately horny in general everyone would Ahos react him and then spam Ahos in chat. It doubled as both a "wtf man" and a "moderators, ban this fool" emoji. Eventually we started teaching everyone in the server about Ahospice so guys with tokyo ghoul pfps had to pledge their allegiance to her in order to stay in the server.

We were in charge of moderating nsfw and predator issues because we did NAWT trust anyone else with that and some 13 year old came asking us for inflation porn. Bold to go up to a stranger asking for that, even bolder going up to the nsfw moderator. Sorry brother you're getting banned

Anyone who disagreed with us, our friend, or the owner was banned. Nobody does echo chambers like us and the squad

This one dude joined and started clowning on us for being a virgin loser while he went to the gym and got bitches. Which was fairly ineffective because he joined an e-dating server and submitted an application which was fully sincere and actively wanted to stay. You can't just make fun of us while we have your google form begging for hoes pulled up. We are both losers. it's okay

Same dude was alright with us being trans but drew the line at us being gay. Trans? word. Gay? Literally left the server himself upon finding out because he was so repulsed. Couldn't even ban him fast enough for calling us a faggot.

We had nothing to do with matches but we LOVEDD looking through the forms cuz we loved being judgy. Favorite was reading the app of a guy seeking blonde haired attractive women who were into the idea of being a tradwife. Had to contain our hater mentality...

This one person tried to flirt with us but we got nervous and since we were really into 1984 we thought it'd ease our nerves to make an epic 1984 reference while being flirted with because we have politics autism which resulted in us responding to something with "I'll let you but only if you call us Big Brother" which led to a freakout because they were freakishly accusing of us incest and every frequent server member came out to clarify IT'S 1984 HE'S TALKING ABOUT 1984 NOT ACTUAL BROTHER STUFF

Some guy tried to threaten us with a patrick bateman gif

Server members tried to make fun of us by sending us anthro bug porn, they accidentally got into anthro bug porn and blamed us

Someone tried to impersonate us but forgot the plural fpp so it didn't work. We found ourselves incredibly offended by how they characterized us because, like, they teased us for "acting like a bottom" (normal thing to say to someone) and their interpretation of our personality was the most stereotypical gay bottom shit. "i think I have a crush on someone hsdhdgjasjk 🥺"

Tried to scare someone by sending them a reading of a freakish copypasta via voice message. To our misfortune, the receiver had a voice fetish, and we were their type.

Self proclaimed yandere wanted us bad 🫡

Tried to show a co-mod Ahospice clips. They fell in heterosexual love with Darwinism. Whatever. A day later they're in nsfw channel saying deranged things about our little freakman...

Whenever we were moody we'd start banning anyone who mildly annoyed us with the ban reason as "stfu." Co-moderators were supportive of this and did not feel the need to step in. In fact, they often perceived our actions as quite slay, and also deserved. We believe in hindsight that we may have been a bit bitchy and also quite rude, but it is simply what happened.

Shifted the userbase of the entire server from being primarily heterosexual kitten seekers to queer mommy seekers.

A rule was added to stop asking us why we use plural fpp. Did not add it ourselves, co-mods simply understood. People still asked multiple times a day. Weary emoji

We would do anything to go back. Especially as a taken girlie who has absolutely no stakes in the e-dating grind. 90% of people who join those servers suck so much including us and it's where we were born to be particularly when allowed to do whatever to them.

nothing made us feel as alive as moderating an e-dating discord server. unbelievably entertaining

[oceansatedogs]

chainsaw man 8, 9, 10

mucho texto tldr; émile ratatouille is a hater

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

where do i even begin... i'm gonna be cancelled for saying this but

i find Power completely unsexualizable. and it's not wrong or god forbid, "misogynist" to admit she's just. unhygienic.

Fujimoto or his associates liking fanart on socmed or recommending manga (whether bl, gl, or ...bgl? het?) =/= canonizing a ship.

this is less "everyone is wrong about this" and more "i'm gonna just block & move on with my life" but, i do see where some people might read bi or even gay Denji! still, i'm just not a fan. i prefer lesbian or transhet Denji in terms of headcanons.

sorry but... i get a little annoyed by people who pick apart every little thing to overanalyze. like, we have virtually no meaningful info regarding characters like Yoshida, yet people construct entire imaginary empires out of, narratively speaking, sticks and leaves. and i see people constantly overthinking themselves into disappointment when a new chapter comes out. like omg! let Fujimoto write his freaking manga.

also any ship with Yoshida is just unrealistic given what we have rn. like genuinely i don't think that dude likes anybody.

9. worst part of canon

Yoshida was a mistake.

10. worst part of fanon

i don't like people who are so invested in a ship in the most shallow way possible they strip it of all venom, heart, and fang and leave it more docile than a baby lamb... so like, the domestification of (redacted). the babygirlification of (also redacted). i know people like cute stuff & so do i but it gets to a point that people just forget everything else in the fucking story (and even go as far as throwing everyone's circumstances/personalities out the window) just to write about idk. 2 people going to Disney World in a modern AU where Everything Is Happy And You May As Well Just Make Your Own OCs At This Point. i get it! angst is not for everyone. i'll never say no to cute fanart once in a while. some people use fiction as a way to escape. i get that. you're allowed to take canon out the back and shoot it. drag it out the street. cut it up and dispose of the chunks. i don't give a flying fuck what you do, i'll just block you if i hate it that much. but again, it gets to a point it's repetitive and ooc and shows a lack of appreciation for and/or acknowledgement of the source material. call me a fuckin elitst or whatever, but what made the ship/character/story interesting to me in the 1st place was how it was presented to me. in its original form. the things i felt when i experienced it for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, time. why change it? for example, i love asaden the way they are right now and i sincerely wish they'd get worse. or better, if that's what Fujimoto wants. and i'll just figure out how to work around it in retrospect. and again, i don't like how myopic and shallow people become regarding shipping. like, i love any asaden interaction we get, but i'm also equally invested in all the other characters! and while all the cute shippy fanart i've been seeing regarding the last few chapters have been nice and all, i've just been thinking about the characters as individuals. Asa's trauma. their starkly different conclusions to the idea of loneliness and companionship. shipping is merely an afterthought for me most of the time.

also the complete sanitation of fandom for every media Ever pisses me off too and is related to what i'm talking about, but like not about shipping in particular lol.

[queermania]

I think you should get into the Jackles and Chaos Machine of it all (this is a sincere request)

so the thing is that jensen has said/done some genuinely hurtful things in the past and i don't begrudge anyone who has felt or continues to feel hurt by that. that's perfectly valid. BUT the narrative that he is this insidious homophobe who is not-so-secretly disgusted by gay people is not only deeply annoying, but actively harmful.

this is a man who has taken very obvious steps to grow and become a better ally. is he always the most eloquent with his words? no, he is not. but to me actions speak way louder than words and what we know about his actions are that he 1. is lovely and open and accepting to queer fans who tell them how much dean and destiel mean to them. 2. is vocally supportive of the queer community and queer causes and most importantly 3. created an entire production company with a mission statement to uplift diverse stories and creators and is actually doing that.

the winchesters has two (probably straight) white characters that are what they are by virtue of their origin and there's nothing we can do about that but almost every other character has been a person of color with interiority and nuance and a backstory and a life outside of john and mary. like, there are two interracial romantic pairings already and neither of them include a white person and we're only on episode six.

and we have queer characters!!! queer characters who are not reduced to their sexuality or shoehorned in for the sake of diversity while meaning absolutely nothing to the plot/story!!! they matter. and we've got quotes from the creative team about how even if the language wasn't there at the time, those people existed and their stories deserve to be told!!! like. y'all can make all the jokes you want about homophobic texas christian boy jensen ackles who hasn't said dean wants to shove his tongue in cas' mouth so he must hate gay people.... but the man is out here hiring queer creatives and uplifting their voices and getting their pronouns right and being fucking normal about it unlike y'all who somehow manage to have the most insanely biphobic and acephobic takes while supposedly defending queer people and that means so much more to me than his opinion on a ship that he has zero control over.

like. if you can't get over the hurtful things he's said in the past, that's fine. there's no judgement from me on that front. but please don't pretend like they are indicative of what he is currently doing and please don't pretend like you actually care about the problems that supernatural had if you're out here disparaging the winchesters every time you even look in the spn-universe's direction without ever having watched the show (especially if you're saying you refuse to watch the winchesters because spn was racist/homophobic/whatever.... but are still watching spn?? like?? WHAT?). the show that jensen put his creative heart and soul into is actively working to fix the things you supposedly hated about spn and your hottest take is that it still sucks because jensen doesn't have a perfect track record? wow, cool. i hope the view is nice from up there on your high horse where you can't even see the people you're claiming to stand up for.

[sa2sugu]

do you have a fav character in blue period??

yessss a blue period ask ₍₍ (ง ˙ω˙)ว ⁾⁾ i can’t really pick a favorite but i guess yatora and yuka stood out to me. yatora because he’s both very pragmatic about his goals but he also gets all consumed by art. obviously we walk through his art process because he’s the main character but the way he “solved” the uni entrance exam was very exciting to me and like i can tell he’s going to have a few breakdowns at uni for sure because the rigidity of college applications is lifted and he’ll be put in a very different environment. and we see how through his love for art he himself becomes a better person and how it influences the people around him as well (like koigakubo’s decision to apply for pastry school). simply doing the thing you’re passionate about and giving it your all can be an inspiration for others, no matter how insignificant it seems and i think yatora’s character development portrayed this very well. and most of all, yatora gets you invested in his growth as an artist. in the first season he is applying for uni so we see him acquire the technical skills but don’t really get to see him with any artistic freedom. so i’m excited to see where he takes his art once he has that newfound freedom and the responsibility that follows it.

yuka, goes without saying, is one of the most interesting characters in the show. gender nonconforming characters, especially trans women and men/boys who are femme, are ridiculed to the point where their entire point is to serve as comedic relief. so it really was a breath of fresh air to see yuka being treated seriously and we delve into their narrative quite intensely and honestly quite beautifully as well. yuka’s arc felt like a sincere coming of age story of a complicated gnc character, and i loved the way their art (the art that they actually wanted to make) coincides with their character development. i felt that there was a lot of respect for the character in the way they were written. and i want to address this now that i’m talking about them but i got several messages after asking not to refer to yuka as a “femboy” and these messages annoyed me so much i deleted them all. regardless of whether yuka identifies as a gay/bi man or a non binary person or a trans woman, the term “femboy” itself has a history of being a derogatory term to refer to trans women and i think it’s so funny that people HAVE to use that word for a rare character whose sexuality and gender is treated seriously for once in anime. anyway the episode where yatora and yuka go to the beach was literally one of the favorite scenes ive seen in all anime it was so goooood.

also i really like hashida’s character design i go bananas when it comes to guys with long braids but PIGTAIL braids just can’t be topped. i like maki too because i felt her narrative was realistic. oh and i love mori’s artwork, i think it was a very interesting choice to have yatora’s first artistic inspiration as someone who creates religious art

[fushigiyuugi]

How about three for three!

1. Chiriko, I find his character tragic as he's one of the youngest characters we are introduced to in the series. Honestly I think part of the reason why I love him as a character was because I was even younger than him when I was first introduced to the series and I latched onto a child character, and permanently solidified my love of child genius characters. I do wish the series had more opportunities to showcase Chiriko and Mitsukake, i know the manga had a little bit more than the anime, but compared to the rest of the Suzaku seven the two of them really struggle to get screen time. I know he had a light novel story and i am on a HUNT to find an English fan translation.

2. Tasuki, he's loud and his mouth moves faster than his brain can process what he's getting into. He is my brother's favorite character and I'd be Tasukis ride or die if I met him in real life. I love that we got to see him embrace being part of the Suzaku seven and treating everyone like they're a part of his family. He was Miaka's number one supporter on her love life and basically became an older Brother to her over the journey, for a guy who went on how much he doesn't like women he quickly changed his tune when it came to her. He wears his emotions on his sleeve; you know he's sincere when he's lovingly teasing and breaking when you see him at his low points as he watches his friends die.

3. Nuriko, i personally use he/they for this character but I don't mind using she/her as well! Nuriko was my first exposure to an LGBT character and while they didn't break my egg, they certainly caused some cracks even at a young age. I very much want to get their celestial mark as a tattoo at some point. They're a result of at-the-time norms to Gay/Trans characters, and when you throw in Ancient China social norms into the mix it isn't entirely a surprise to see why some people think their character was handled poorly. I admire how unapologetically loud and proud they are after being forcibly outed and I love that while at the end of the day no matter how many jokes they made at her expense, everyone respected and enjoyed Nurikos company. I could consume Tasuki, Nuriko and Miaka shenanigans all day long

Honorary Mention: Yui! I love doing character Analysis on antagonists, and Yui is a character I have loved being able to explore over and over again as I have gotten older. Even as a child I don't think I ever found Yui annoying, she a victim of her circumstances and was groomed by a man who realized he could weaponize her pain for his own gain. This isn't to say she is not responsible for her actions, as there WERE times she purposefully made a choice that went against her friend. But she was 15, and from her perspective, easily spent 6 months minimum convinced she had been raped and abandoned, forgotten. Nakago made her felt seen and important in a time she was ready to literally kill herself. Yui was mostly able to redeem herself because Miaka never gave up on being her friend, and having Miaka there to bring her out of the darkness that LITERALLY consumed her is what gave her opportunity to go through a metaphorical rebirth and correct her actions. I understand why people dislike Yui, but I think she does a fantastic job on filling her roll as the Antagonist who pushes Miaka into summoning Suzaku. I love that we got to see her process her pain and trauma and shift her outward thoughts to be from "I want my best friend to hurt the way she hurt me" to just "I'm hurt and i miss my best friend, I'm scared to be alone."

Would you like to talk about Fushigi yuugi blorbos

ABSOLUTELY.

Top 3 blorbos in no order

Miaka. Controversial opinion perhaps but as I've gotten older I've really come around to love Miaka. She's a character who is really believable as a teenager going through all the stuff being thrown at her - she tries her best to be responsible but she's also only 15! She's gonna mess up and goof around! And I love how much she cares about the people around her. She never gives up on Yui no matter what happens, because Yui is her best friend and she understands she's suffering and in a terrible manipulative environment. She apologizes to Hotohori when she can't return his feelings. She tries on two separate occasions to give up on Tamahome because it's the Responsible thing to do. She tries so damn hard and her heart is so damn big. (Also for as much as she's getting saved, she also has several badass moments.) (Also get this girl some therapy she was assaulted at least 3 times within a few days.)

Takiko Okuda. Where do I even begin?? If I think about her for too long I'll cry. She's brave. She's kind. She's suffering so much but she will put her suffering aside to help others. She's so insecure that it kills her. She's willing to die to save the world she loves. She kicks ass. She doesn't know what prostitutes do. You know she's going to die from the moment you open the book but you still fall in love with her and want her to be okay (I actually forgot she died until I did a FY reread and reread the explanation of her death lmao). I'm obsessed with her.

NURIKO. Literally would die for her. (I use she/her for Nuriko usually, but that's a personal preference because I read the manga first and they always used she/her for Nuriko (the anime used he/him).) Truly a queer icon of the age. Nuriko is That Bitch - started out so awful to Miaka for the pettiest reasons, and somehow ended up being Miaka's bestie/older sibling figure, and I love it. She's a mean girl but she's also compassionate when it comes down to it. Devastated me when she died. will never recover from it.

Your turn!! Share your Fushigi Yuugi blorbos with me (if you want) 💜

[noa-nightingale]

Queer Watcher 2021

I am looking back on another beautiful year with @wearewatcher​ and I have to say, I love being in this fandom and in Watcher’s audience as a queer person.

This is the same thing as last year (Queer Watcher 2020), I will list the things I appreciate and enjoy, and once again I am very happy that I can write this. (I also encourage you to read last year’s list since many of the things I wrote there still apply to this year. Also, I will do this again for 2022. ^-^)

This is technically from 2020, not from 2021, but I am eternally annoyed with myself that I forgot to put it in my Queer Watcher 2020 post, and that’s why I am mentioning it now: “I love you, man.” “I love you too.” - Spooky Smalltalk. No, there isn’t anything inherently queer about two men telling each other platonically that they love each other. But here is why I am including it in this list: It’s the open and honest affection. Which brings me to my next point.

First video of the year and I am once again reminded why I love this channel, this content and these people so much. Dish Granted is so wonderfully heartwarming and that’s why I am including it on this list too: I am always looking for this kind of warmth in a world that is often cold towards me (for being queer, for being autistic, for being some other things). I adore Dish Granted and I would like to hug the entire show.

Happy Valentine’s Day to the oars!

Trans Day of Visibility! Watcher asked for trans/non-binary folks to share their art and then supported it by retweeting some of it.

I love it in general when they acknowledge the various Pride days or weeks (International Asexuality Day, Lesbian Visibility Day, Bi Visibility Week etc.)

International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia

Happy Pride Month! First I have to mention the merch, obviously. I did not see that coming at all and it made me very happy. I love my gay oars pins. A lot. And it is amazing that they give some of the proceeds to the Trevor Project.

Happy Pride Month! Again! This was one of my favorite Watcher moments this year: All three co-founders said Happy Pride in unison and I think a small part of me healed. It was so so damn lovely. (I also enjoy it quite a bit when Shane is kind of awkward with showing sincere emotions, a) because it is endearing and b) because I am bad at showing emotions in a way that is probably “expected” (or whatever) and I hate showing strong emotions in front of other people. Also, I really relate to awkwardness in general lmao.)

Every time our favorite co-founders wore or used their own Pride merch. Idk it makes me happy.

Every time people tell Shane that he is the “protector of the gays” or something like that and he does not really accept it. Like. I agree, it would be kind of uncomfortable if he called himself that.

He’s against French ghosts who are bigots though.

Making Watcher! Now on youtube, and it makes me so friggin’ emotional every time. It great to see these people care about each other and about the content they put out into this world. Heartwarming.

Dish Granted with Steven’s parents - same reasons as the ones above but also because of the accidental Believe Me Maizey. Made me cry. A wonderful reminder of our favorite holographic lesbian and her French Fries wife, and of the magnificence that is the hot daga.

That one moment in the cave ep of AYS - “Joe was here! Looking like a total ten.” - “Yeah, he was looking like a whole goddamn snack.” <3

Every time the existence and validity of they/them pronouns was acknowledged.

The return of the gay oars for Puppet History season 4! I love those guys and I loved to see them again and write my silly little tumblr posts about them. I wish I could put into words how much they mean to me but if you have followed me for a while, you know how much I adore them and how often I draw them. There were many beautiful little moments with them this year, and it was fantastic to see them again. Truly a highlight of this year.

We don’t have to talk about the season finale though.

Actually yes we do - here’s another silly little tumblr post you might find interesting. Still very proud of this one. Read it, it’s good.

Dunking on a homophobic ghost during TMS.

“God’s hot.” I can’t agree with the pile of diamonds here but I am happy that the oars are apparently not the only queer puppets.

I left out the patreon stuff on purpose (and there is stuff on patreon, I can only recommend it!) but I want to include a personal highlight here that made me very emotional. Steven picked one of my questions for Watcher Weekly+ and accidentally misgendered me. It was brought up on the Watcher discord and he was there within 15 minutes, acknowledged his mistake, apologized and said he would make an effort to do better. I know this seems like a little thing but I am not used to people handling a situation like that so well and I am very grateful that he did.

All the wonderful people of team Watcher, and all the wonderful people they had as guests.

The casual, constant support. I have said it before but I genuinely believe that it is more important than making one grand statement and then never touching the topic again.

All that being said, I do not want to put the Watcher co-founders and the Watcher team on a pedestal. They have their faults, they have made mistakes before, they are not perfect - nobody is.

There have been conversations about pronouns and using they/them pronouns as the default, and I think that’s something they can work on. (And, from what I’ve seen, they do. They are making an effort, and that’s all I can ask.) Personally, I also cringe every time I hear the phrase “ladies and gentlemen” - I know it is easy to say it without really thinking about it but I just hate it (in general, this is not just a Watcher thing).

But I believe that the Watcher team genuinely does make an effort and genuinely does care about the LGBTQ+ people in their audience.

So, in conclusion: I enjoy being part of Watcher’s audience, as an autistic person and especially as a queer person. I very much believe that they will grow as a channel, company and as people in the future. And I am very happy to be part of that journey and to be able to witness it.

[vonkarma2]

also dw if you don’t want to but crow

My overall opinion on the character: he’s like in the characters of all time tier like not only do I love him a lot as a character he’s like iconic to me. Influential. I really like his story and his personality genuinely I think his whole backstory is very interesting. also he’s funny

One virtue they have: I guess his sincere desire to protect others and keep them safe even though it’s influenced by and corrupted by outside forces and overall not expressed in the best ways it’s still nice. Like it’s kinda faint praise to say that he’ll make absolutely sure the person isn’t innocent or the wrong person before he kills them. But at least he does it ✌️ and ofc it’s all for the sake of humanity ✌️ although you could say his devotion to these ideals is a huge flaw ✌️ but it comes from a good place I guess at least partially

One flaw they have: I’m going to try to come up with something more in depth than like “he kills people” I guess his self righteousness like his unwillingness to consider that what he’s doing May be wrong. Obviously you get why he does this considering it’s how he’s spent his life for a very long time he’s been manipulated since he was like relatively young but still. Not even like he won’t question like the sanctum overall or like the way he became Crow in the first place, even just in like specific actions. So I guess overconfidence? I’ve talked about like 3 different things here lmao I hope this made sense. 

Favorite moment from their arc: I don’t really know his entire arc unfortunately. The part where he dies I don’t know if he dies. The part where he dies peacefully surrounded by loved ones in 2063. Ok but for real I liked the part where Lennox asked him if he liked being in the Sanctum and he lost his mind trying to justify it. It was both funny and sad <3

Least favorite moment from their arc: I don’t really have a least favorite moment. I didn’t like when he killed people that was sad. I guess at like the beginning of his backstory when he was an annoying teenager who made 1 terrible decision next thing you know he’s monologuing about his philosophy and driving around killing people in his shitty car. Not in that it’s badly written but in that 1) he was annoying back then 2) everything that happened to him could have been so easily prevented

One relationship they have with another character: This is so funny I have to explain a character relationship to the creator of those characters. I guess I’m going to go with grossly oversimplifying his relationship with Lennox, basically he’s weirdly intense and dedicated to all humans so that ofc includes him but he also likes him a lot personally. Whereas Lennox is both put off by this and likes him more because of it, and/or I guess is intrigued. Like he’s interested in learning more about him which I would be too like what the hell is going on there. Also they have a gay thing going on or whatever. This is incredibly general but like that’s part of it I guess. This explanation might not sound very enthusiastic, but I do think they have a very interesting dynamic and I think could develop a lot from knowing each other if that makes sense

One relationship I'd like to see explored from this character: Honestly him and Dashwood I think are interesting, ofc I’d like to see him interact with Kaleela and Baize too (potentially Aidan as well could you imagine. But like at the point in time when they would interact Crow would be too busy feeling like this

to have like a real relationship with him) but I think like with their connection going back so far, + this whole thing being Dashwood’s idea so he kinda shares the blame for everything Crow has done along with the man himself, + the way they have wildly different perspectives on their relationship. So I think it could be very interesting. Shame he fucking died lol

What I would have liked to see happen with them in the media: oh idk ummm. Well first of all anything just bc I love reading about him in general. But I guess I would say like positive character growth and just mundane activities. Me when I care for the well-being of a fictional character, but idk I would like to see him doing normal things and also changing his mindset and becoming a better person or whatever 🙄

[definitelyseven]

seduction | one

summary: your best friend suspects that her boyfriend, Jackson Wang, might not love her anymore, so she pays you to help seduce him to prove her right. 

one | two |

“What? No!” you immediately rejected after hearing what she suggested.

“Y/N please!” she begged, reaching for your hand. “Please!”

“Tzuyu! Are you listening to yourself? You can’t possibly think that’s a good idea,” you argued. 

“Y/N, I’m studying aboard in Europe for a year. I have no faith he loves me enough not to leave me,” Tzuyu pouted. To be honest, you didn’t have faith in their relationship either.

“You’ve been with him for only five months. Maybe you’ll be the one who leaves him,” you comforted. 

“We’ve been official for five months but we’ve actually been dating for much longer,” she explained. “Please Y/N,” she begged again. “This relationship is important to me.”

“What makes you think, the famous Jackson Wang would pick someone like me over someone like you? Tzuyu, you’re beautiful, you’re rich and I’m just...” you couldn’t even finish your sentence. 

You were just normal compared to Tzuyu. She had everything you always wanted. Parents that loved her, money, friends, beauty and a famous boyfriend.

“You’re my best friend,” she finished for you. Not only was she beautiful and rich, she was also smart and kind. “I only trust you to help me with this.”

“Tzuyu, you know I love you and I would do anything for you, but...”

“Then do this for me,” she interrupted.

“Have you thought of what would happen if I was successful in seducing him?” you asked.

“Then it’ll show he doesn’t love me, that I shouldn’t be with him. I wouldn’t have to waste my time being in a long distance relationship with him,” she explained clearly. “I fully understand what I’m asking you to do. I won’t get mad at the outcome.” You hesitated, still unsure if this was a good idea. “I’ll pay you,” she finally suggested. You chuckled because she knew you wouldn’t be able to resist money. She knew you needed the money. “People usually pay you, don’t they?”

You laughed again. “They do and I’m not cheap,” you reminded her.

“I’m rich,” she joked. “How much should I write the check out for?”

“Are you sure about this?” you asked again. She nodded, her pen already signing the check. You smirked, “Let’s talk pricing.”

You were never afraid of people finding out what you did for a living. It may not be the traditional way of earning money, but you liked to think you were using your skills to help people - to help those that were lonely and needed company or in Tzuyu’s case, to test her boyfriend’s loyalty. You never did anything you didn’t want to do nor did you sleep with everyone.

Tzuyu was certainly generous; your most generous client yet. She covered all your expenses and paid you double your rate. You smirked once you put on the dress she got you. The dressed hugged your body tightly, accentuating all your curves with just the right amount of push-up for your breasts. Now all you had to do was do what you did best and get inside the private party; something even Tzuyu couldn’t help you with. 

“Can I see your invitation?” the guard at the front requested. 

“I’m sorry. I forgot my invitation,” you pouted, while leaning your body forwards exposing your cleavage to the guard. 

“As much as I want to let you in baby, it’s out of my control.”

You looked around outside and see a group of men, smoking. You smirked and made your way over to them. “Hello boys,” you cooed. The group of men glanced over at you. You recognized them in Tzuyu’s photos. They were Jackson’s friends. “My friends bailed on me last minute and I’m not from around here. Do you guys know where I can get a drink? I tried going in but it’s invitation only,” you pouted.

“No pretty girl should be denied entrance,” one of the men said, wrapping his arm around your waist. “I’m Eric,” he introduced, while dragging you inside. You smirked at the guard who denied you from entering. 

“I’m Y/N.”

You quickly scanned the club once you entered. Since it was an exclusive party there weren’t that many people inside. Eric drags you towards a booth where a group of people where sitting. You instantly spotted Jackson.

First things first - identify the “competition.” There were two women sandwiched between Jackson. From just one look, you can tell they were professionals and the biggest fish in the sea tonight was Jackson. You chuckled at yourself. It was too obvious; from the way their dresses rose up to the constant leaning forward to reveal their exposed chest. You were all too familiar with these tactics. You even used some of them when you first started. 

Your eyes met his. You gave him a subtle smile and a gentle nod before shifting your attention back to Eric. It was still too early to tell whether Eric was desperate to get in your pants or if he was overly friendly. 

“Cheers,” Eric said clinking his glass with yours before downing his drink. You brought the glass to your lips, taking a sip out of the dark liquid. 

“You never said what kind of event this was,” you shouted over the music and into his ears. 

“Jack!” he called. Jackson turned his attention to the both of you. He got up away from the girls that were sandwiched between him and moved to sit next to Eric. 

“I’m Jackson,” he introduced himself.

You smiled, “Y/N.”

“We’re celebrating Jackson’s new single release,” Eric said, filling your glass to the top. “Cheers,” he said again, pushing the glass towards your lips. You laughed at his excitement. Your eyes met Jackson’s again. The both of you smiled at each other before taking a sipping out of your drinks.

You observed Jackson quietly while entertaining Eric. Although there were women surrounding him, he never once touched them nor did he flirt back. He acted just like how he was from the videos you saw online - friendly and welcoming. 

As the night progressed and the more you got Eric to reveal information about Jackson, the touchier he got. It seemed like with every piece of information he fed you was an invitation for him to reach further up your leg. 

“One second,” you tell him while removing his hand off your thigh. “Restroom break,” you forced a smile before walking off to the restroom. You were used to this except you were always paid for it. The only thing different was the person paying wasn’t touching you nor was the person that you’d hope would touch you, touching you. You walked out of the restroom and the first person you see was Eric. You forced a smile and walked towards him. “You didn’t have to wait for me.”

“I can’t leave a pretty girl all by herself,” he smirked while wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you close to his body. You rest your hands on his chest, pushing yourself away from him. 

“Let’s get another drink,” you suggested as you see Jackson at the bar alone.

This was your chance.

You walked up next to Jackson. Eric’s hand instinctively found your waist again. He was becoming like an annoying bug that wouldn’t leave you alone. “What do you want to drink?” he whispered in your ear. 

You turned to him with a small smile and then back at Jackson. “I’ll have whatever you’re having,” you said to Jackson. He nods, waving down the bartender to pour 3 drinks. The three of you quickly downed the shot. “Let’s dance,” you shouted through the music. Eric grabs your hand and drags you to the dance floor. You quickly grab Jackson’s hand, dragging him out to dance floor with you. 

As quickly as you got on the dance floor, the women from earlier were already dancing near Jackson. Again, he never touched them. He just danced around them. No matter how hard the women tried, he didn’t oblige. 

Eric however was beyond on drunk. His grip on your waist so tight that it started to get uncomfortable. His hands went from your arms to the side of your body and then down to the hem of your dress where he tried to pull it up. You grabbed his hand and gently pushed it away from your dress. “Come on baby,” he tried to convince. You chuckled at yourself - men. You turned around to face him. You brought your finger up to his face and shook it left and right, signaling no. 

“Don’t get touchy,” you warned. You still tried to be friendly for the sake of this mission; in case you needed him for the future. Eric didn’t like that though. He quickly spins you around, grabbing your neck. He pushes you down, attempting to bend you over to grind on him. You groaned in pain and discomfort. 

“Eric, can you get us another drink?” Jackson asks, grabbing his hand away from your neck and pulling you to his side. 

“Fine,” Eric sighs in defeat as he walked away from the both of you.

“I apologize on his behalf,” Jackson said to you. You can tell he was sincere. 

“Thanks,” you tell him. You noticed a red stain on his collar. You knew it wasn’t because he was intimate with another girl. You reached for his collar and tugged on it slightly. You leaned in close to his ear and whispered, “Make sure to clean this up before you meet your girlfriend.” You smiled at him before walking away back to the booth. 

You smirked when Jackson followed you.

“What makes you think I have a girlfriend?” he asked taking a seat next to you.

“There were a lot of girls surrounding you tonight and you didn’t bother flirting back. It could only mean one thing - you’re gay or you have a girlfriend,” you teased. “I took a 50/50 chance. You have a girlfriend,” you repeated.

Jackson chuckled, nodding in agreement. “I’m heading out. You?” he asked. You bit your lip. “If you don’t leave, I’m not sure I can protect you from my friends. They like pretty girls.”

“And what about you?” you teased.

“Pretty girls? Of course I like pretty girls,” he teased back. “So, want to leave together?”

Finally - you thought. He was finally acting like any man in this club would. You nodded as you got up to leave with him. 

Jackson couldn’t leave from the front of the club because of paparazzi so the both of you headed towards the back of the club. It was chilly and dark. He noticed how you rubbed your arms up and down and how your legs shook from the cold. He takes his blazer off and puts it over your shoulders. You were surprised at how much of a gentlemen he was. 

“Oh that’s okay,” you tell him, stopping him from putting the blazer on you.

“Stop it you’re freezing,” Jackson said, pulling the blazer back over your shoulders. He buttons one of the buttons and helps you take your hair out of the blazer.

“Thank you,” you smiled at him. He smiles back, gently stroking your back. His actions weren’t sexual. It was rather friendly. “You didn’t deny it earlier.”

“What?”

“When I said you had a girlfriend.”

Jackson chuckled again but doesn’t respond again. A taxi pulls up in front of you. He opens the door for you, helping you get in safely. To your surprise, he doesn’t get in with you. You opened the window to speak to him. “Your blazer,” you tell him, getting ready to take it off.

“It’s alright. Keep it, it’s cold.” Jackson said leaning down to your level.

“How will I return it?” you asked. He chuckles again and knocks on the taxi door, signaling the driver to start driving. You looked back at him who was still waiting for his car. He smiles at you, waving goodbye.

“Hello?”

“How did it go?” Tzuyu asked anxiously over the phone.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Trust me,” you assured her. 

“Nothing happened?” she asked again. 

You smiled at her, happy to tell her that nothing happened even when he was surrounded by girls, even when he could’ve left with you. You stuck your hands inside the pocket of his blazer - something was inside. 

“Nothing happened, but he did give me his number,” you tell her, taking the piece of paper out of his pocket. 

[i-am-trying-my-best-okay]

A Very Short Summary That I Think Kinda Represents All The Heartless Ships (That I Know Of): A Saga (It’s not)

THE JURY SQUAD (VILLIANS GOTTA VILLIAN) SHIPS

Dock x Alastor: A couple that acts like an old married couple before they’re even old. They probably acted like an old married couple upon their first meeting.

Alastor x Lorelei: Alastor is so confused but just kinda goes along with it. Lorelei be like ‘pls notice me senpai or else I’ll completely lose it. Ha ha jk jk lol...unless-’

Lance x Bandy: The embodiment of be gay and do crime. Can’t be in the same room without something going wrong in the best possible way. Make it their personal mission to ruin Alastor’s day.

Diana x Lorelei: Thought the other would be useless but then they weren’t. They really don’t want to like the other but then they do.

Lance x Alastor: Would probably hate each other at first, but even when they start liking each other they would pretend to hate each other, even though they both know they don’t.

Lorelei x Lance: He would come to all of Lorelei’s performances and cheer so loudly before she would even begin, and he would boo at everyone else that performs and try to ruin their performance. Lorelei pretends to be annoyed.

Lance x Dock: Lance would so be down with injuring someone for the sake of Dock’s experiments. Neither have a moral code so they can bond over that.

Bandy x Dock: Bandy constantly making jokes that Dock tries way to hard to understand. Sometimes they throws in jokes that don’t make sense on purpose just to see what conclusion Dock will come to.

Diana x Lance: Lance would try to goad Diana into fighting, and she would act like she’s too good for that, but then they both fight and have a great time.

Dock x Diana: Kinda ignored each other until Dock decided to make a cool looking gun for Diana. To which Diana didn’t like feeling like she owed a favor and helped with some experiment Dock was doing. Thus began the dynamic duo.

Alastor x Diana: They’re basically the only ones doing the mission for the sake of doing the mission. They would sit and talk for hours about deep topics.

Bandy x Alastor: Bandy listens to everything Alastor says, he just doesn’t do as he says. Alastor probably doesn’t completely trusts them, so always keeps tabs on them, so at this point Alastor knows everything about Bandy.

Bandy x Lorelei: Would use each other for personal reasons, and grow almost dependent on each other without realizing it. Slowly start seeing the other as a deeper person then a tool.

Diana x Bandy: She probably thought Bandy was annoying but they kept talking to her so she eventually grew to like them. They make a surprisingly good team when fighting.

Dock x Lorelei: I feel like Dock would really feed into Lorelei’s dark side to observe it, making her feel comfortable, like she could do anything and it wouldn’t phase Dock.

THE HEARTLESS SQUAD (WE PURE BRUH) SHIPS

Flint x Eira: Probably didn’t really like each other at first, but then grew to like each other. Flint really likes how Eira fights fair and gets really upset whenever Eira seems insecure and immediately tries to cheer him up.

Eira x Heartless: Eira thinks Heartless is hopelessly naïve and comments on it frequently, but if anyone else dared to say it Eira would be at their throats all like, “I’m sorry he’s not a cynical asshole like you.” Heartless would be constantly hugging Eira.

Flint x River: Flint teaching River how to fight, and River would try to use her medical expertise to help with his overheating. Constantly helping the other one out.

Doppel x Alchemy: Doppel would love being their assistant, and Alchemy would absolutely play him up during the performance. Alchemy would scold him for stealing customers money, but also they would keep it.

Doppel 2 x Alchemy: Alchemy would try so hard to give this poor man some confidence, constantly complimenting him. 

Alchemy x River: Wholesome. That’s it. That’s all that comes to mind when I think of these two. Brian empty, only wholesome.

Flint x Heartless: If Flint overheated Heartless would try so hard to carry him, ending up exhausted after carrying him a distance and Flint is over his overheating. To return the favor Flint carries Heartless basically at all times.

Flint x Doppel: Flint probably thinks of him as underhanded, but then comes to realize that this was how he survived on the streets. Doppel would try so hard to rope Flint into his schemes, to which Flint occasionally will.

Flint x Doppel 2: Would probably at first treat Doppel 2 the same way he treats Doppel, until he realizes he needs to be a lot more softer around Doppel 2. Flint gives so many head pats. Doppel 2 will sob whenever Flint overheats.

Eira x Doppel: Eira would constantly stop Doppel from his fun, basically babysitting him, and Doppel would try to get Eira to loosen up a bit. Sometimes Eira does, and it’s such a rush but he would never admit it.

Eira x Doppel 2: Eira would just protect Doppel 2 all the time, and then there was one time when he was down and Doppel 2 stepped up to protect him and he was just so touched.

Alchemy x Heartless: The positive reinforcement radiating off these two is insane. They literally just go around making people feel good about themselves while holding hands.

Eira x Alchemy: Really enjoys flustering Eira, and if Eira ever gets the courage to flirt back, even if it’s something small and doesn’t really make sense, Alchemy would just be more flustered then they’ve ever been in their life.

River x Heartless: Both of them would try and tell the other how they felt but then chicken out and talk about something completely unrelated while blushing like crazy, and the rest of the gang just looks at them like bruh.

Doppel x Heartless: Thinks Heartless being undead is the coolest thing ever. Honestly considers being undead with him, with Heartless always having to talk him out of it.

Doppel 2 x Heartless: The. Encouragement. Heartless’s constant reassurance to Doppel 2 makes him feel very comfortable around Heartless and he opens up a bit to him.

Alchemy x Flint: Flint would be so in awe of all the stage performances Alchemy does, and Alchemy kinda shows off a bit when Flint is watching.

River x Doppel: Literally the only person who could rein in Doppel, get him to calm down and just play some cards, and no, that doesn’t mean gambling.

River x Doppel 2: River would kinda train Doppel 2 as her apprentice since fighting isn’t really his thing, and they would heal the crew together.

JURY/HEARTLESS (ROMEO AND JUILET STYLE) SHIPS

Lance x Eira: Sword fights. So many sword fights of the homoerotic variety. Neither of them expected Lance’s flirting to turn serious, oop. Also potential meeting in childhood head cannons. 

Diana x Alchemy: They would say something about how Diana’s outfit was cool, and Diana would begrudgingly say something nice about Alchemy. They’ve caught themselves in a compliment war.

Dock x Flint: Actually fascinated with Flint’s low tolerance to heat, keeps trying to figure out why, and Flint is all like, ‘It ain’t that deep’.

Lance x Flint: Flint be like ‘could you at least TRY to fight honorably and fairly?’ and Lance be like ‘lamo what does that even mean?’ Lance thinks it’s so funny when Flint gets mad when he fights dirty.

Diana x Doppel: Shoots him on sight but he always dodges; it’s almost like a game for them at this point.

Diana x Doppel 2: Would have soft moments together that Diana would viciously deny to anyone that dared ask. So what if you walked in on them watching a movie together, it’s a new killing tactic shut up Alastor.

Bandy x River: Her nice nature throws them off a bit, unsure of how to respond to such sincerity, and they would teach her so many jokes that River would go around telling everyone, making Bandy so proud.

Alchemy x Lance: The flirting would never end. Ever. It doesn’t matter what situation their in, it doesn’t matter if they’re in the middle of a very serious fight to the death. Flirting. And nobody knows that it’s serious but them.

Alastor x Heartless: Alastor was trying to act like they were the ultimate enemies, but Heartless is all like, ‘why don’t we sit down and talk about this?’

Bandy x Alchemy: Could you imagine them up on stage together? They would be constantly trying to out do the other, making a game out of who could dazzle the crowd more.

Alchemy x Lorelei: Both performers but in different areas, they would understand the stress of it, and talk about it frequently.

Dock x Doppel: Doppel would be such a little shit to Dock, and sometimes he tires to help Dock with an experiment for fun but messed up everything, but somehow Dock still had a good time.

Dock x Doppel 2: Just so much of Dock obsessed with trying to figure out what the hell Doppel 2 even is, and Doppel 2 apologizing when he doesn’t get clear answers.

Lorelei x River: A secretly not a soft girl and an actual soft girl that could still destroy you. This is a power couple if I’ve ever seen one.

Lance x Heartless: Lance would do everything in his power to try and make Heartless angry. Heartless’s constant positivity makes Lance want to see how far it could go.

Diana x Heartless: Whenever Diana goes to kill someone, the person she’s trying to kill is usually never nice to her, so this is confusing. 

Alastor x Flint: What if in the middle of the fight Flint just straight up picks him up, and it looks weirdly suggestive, and now they’re both flustered.

Bandy x Heartless: They would just go around and have fun to be honest. I feel like they would share a sense of humor.

Lance x River: Didn’t expect her to be good at fighting, but when she shows that she is, he is absolutely ecstatic. If they dated he would go around and brag about how his girlfriend could take him and the person he was bragging to down in a fight.

Alastor x Eira: Both kinda have that I-look-like-a-twink-but-I-will-mess-you-up energy. Both of them would just sit there denying their feelings so hard.

Dock x Eira: Their both stoic most of the time, viewing this fighting as impersonal and just a means to their own end. This kinda forms a comradery.

Lance x Doppel: Lance is interested in Doppel’s really weird street fighting tactics. Would actually stop fighting to teach each other tactics, which can get very handsy.

Lance x Doppel 2: He would keep trying to make Doppel 2 fight him, and if Doppel 2 throws the lightest punch ever, Lance acts like Doppel 2 just took over the world and is cheering him on.

Diana x Flint: Why can I imagine them both constantly suggesting to the other person that they could join their side at any time?

Bandy x Eira: Eira is so serious and Bandy thinks it’s hilarious. They would probably debate about their morals often, neither ever accepting the other’s morals but begrudgingly admitting the other has a point.

Lorelei x Heartless: Lorelei had put up this nice front but accidently lets Heartless see a different side, to which Heartless is all like, woah neat. Lorelei feels a bit unsure of how to handle acceptance.

Bandy x Doppel: Would absolutely hit the town solely to mess with people. Bandy would be really useful to steal stuff, so Doppel would just goad them into stealing things and then steals them from Bandy, which Bandy thinks is so funny.

Bandy x Doppel 2: They would mess with Doppel 2 so hard, his anxious reactions were funny to him. But also, he doesn’t like it if other people mess with Doppel 2 too much. Like, that’s his job and his job only.

Dock x Alchemy: The way Alchemy can switch their appearance fascinates Dock, and Alchemy would just flirt with Dock so hard but he wouldn’t understand any of which, which they think is hilarious. 

Alastor x Alchemy: Alastor is not happy that Alchemy flirts with him at every given opportunity. Like, he’s very busy being enemies and trying to kill all magic users, stop making him feel things right now.

Dock x Heartless: Dock would be practically frothing at the mouth thinking of how Heartless actually functions, seeing as he’s undead and all. And since Heartless wants to know his origins as well, maybe they’d find out together.

Lorelei x Doppel: She thinks of him as a ‘ruffian’ or something like that. He thinks she’s stuck up. They want to absolutely murder each other. So what’s with this weird sexual tension?

Lorelei x Doppel 2: Would be so sugary sweet to him as she tries to make him do her biding or something.

River x Dock: Two very different doctors, yelling at each other their ideals on what a doctor is. Can and will annoy the other one while they work. Dock will make improvements to River’s prosthetics. 

Alastor x River: Once Alastor would be injured and alone, and River would find him and heal him and get him back to the Jury before leaving immediately. Alastor is going crazy trying to figure out why.

Flint x Lorelei: Why do I feel like they probably had a one night stand and then when they met on opposite sides of the battlefield they were like ‘oh. shit.’

Alastor x Doppel: When a rude little gremlin meets a terrifying librarian. Alastor is trying to get Doppel to stop doing what he’s doing which only fuels his desire to keep doing what he’s doing.

Alastor x Doppel 2: Thinks Doppel 2 shouldn’t exist but then when Doppel 2 is crying about it he sort of becomes sympathetic about it. Like, together they try find a way to get Doppel 2 to not exist, which turns weirdly intimate? 

Diana x River: Diana probably caught feelings first when River drop kicked Dock. If either of them got kidnapped by the other side they other would always go visit the prisoner all like ‘I just want to go check on them, god guys.’

Bandy x Flint: “Fights are a serious thing. Don’t take it as a joke!” “Yeah, Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.” “THEN STOP SWITCHING ME WITH YOUR WEAPON SO YOU CAN HOLD ME!”

Me realizing that for most of these they could just be read as how they interact with each other rather than a ship. Also me ignoring that.

This was basically an excuse for me to decide who I want to ship.

Characters belong to @abd-illustrates​