#mammon in the shower

[sweetbrier2908]

this is not the reason i take the day off college today!!!!!

[littlemissraccoon]

Mammon: I’m glad you’re not with me for my money

MC: What money?

[darlingsheep]

currently going through time chronicles, when did this happen??? 😭😭😭

[ankiebitez]

hc that whb demons do this when u take a shower. especially beelzebub and satan

[hallowxiu]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

[misc-obeyme]

GRAHUAJHWN WKKDND SOLOMON SHOWER CARD SOLOMON SHOWWR XARD barks ?! PQSSEs OUT

MAMMON QND SOLOMON BOTH IN TH BWNNWR TOGETHER SJWJDJKEJEJD FUCK I'M YELLING !! IM AT WORK AND YELLING

SORRY I'M SO EXCITED AAAA

- ✨ anon

LOL!

This may be weird, but my favorite part of the Solomon shower card is how he has his soap and shampoo in little magic bubbles. Like what a delight this silly wizard man is. I haven't had a chance to look around the Tumbles tonight, but I'm just hoping some amazingly talented artist type gives that man some pact marks. I don't care how much official art they release of him without them, they are canon and nothing can change my mind about it.

ANYWAY. Mammon is also looking adorable in his card! I love his little hoop earrings?!

I'm sending you all the luck, I hope you pull them both!!

[rocksinmuffin]

Obey Me: Solomon with an S/O that actually LEGIT likes his food, how do the others react to them EATING THAT?

Obviously, Solomon is delighted. Cooking is a fun pastime of his. It's a lot like alchemy and potion-making except the ingredients and measurements don't matter as much (THEY DO!!!!!) and it's always a delight to share his cooking with others. A shame that he doesn't get much opportunity to do so since he has the terrible luck of always bringing meals over just after the intended recipient has already finished eating. But you're always more than delighted to taste anything he's made and it brings a huge smile to his face when you enthusiastically chow down on anything he serves you.

Barbatos is concerned. For your physical health, certainly, but for your mental health even more. Have you hit your head recently? Because brain damage is the only explanation Barbatos can think of that would cause cause your taste buds to warp so drastically that they'd register anything that came out of Solomon's kitchen as palatable—much less edible.

Satan watches you in a mix of awe and horror as you slurp down some kind of noodle that smells like turpentine and wiggles on your plate like it's something alive. Solomon's cooking has brought the Devildom's most powerful demons to their knees so how is it that a human is able to stomach it without consequence? Surely you must be using a spell to counteract its effects but Satan detects no magic from you.

Beelzebub is almost jealous. Almost. The way you dig in makes Solomon's food look really, really good. You're clearly enjoying yourself. But even as his stomach rumbles with insatiable hunger, it just takes one quick sniff and the rotten smell that follows is enough to remind him that some food just isn't worth it.

Is it wrong that Asmodeus kind of thinks it's a turn on? Like, obviously it's yucky disgusting and the fact that you enjoy it is something that he thinks should be studied but also it's kind of a power move that you intentionally eat food that should knock you out for the next week. Also it kind of works in his favor because now when Solomon brings him baked goods Asmo can just give them to you instead.

Mammon is obviously disgusted by this and tells you how grossed out he is by it every chance he gets but also you should totally let him record videos of you eating Solomon's cooking. He hasn't nailed down all the details yet, but he's pretty sure he could make some serious grimm by getting people to pay to see the disgusting filth you can shovel in your body.

Raphael thinks you are the only other normal person. Unfortunately, you are both freaks of nature and feared by all.

Thirteen already knew you had bad taste since you were dating Solomon of all people but now—seeing you dig into a plate of something that cannot be shown on television due to current censorship laws—you've confirmed that your taste in food is comparable to your taste in men.

[arklayraven]

Oh how I yearn to be handled like this one day by Asmo too. Lovingly of course, but with the bloodlust wrath still there lol 💖

Also same pffft

[journey-to-the-attic]

boys i love you but we are not making honey sexy now.......

[mallleus]

You wanna know what sucks about the house of lamentation? It only has two bathrooms.

[mammon-s]

I like playing dress up games and making the characters into me as different forms of royalty but married to the brothers

These are some ones I did of me as like royalty from different cultures but as Mammons wife

[chirp-a-chirp]

MC: *Holding a baby in their arms* Mammon, what’s your opinion on baby showers?

Mammon: Meh, I’m against’em.

MC: What? Why?

Mammon: It’s easier for babies to have baths, right?

MC: …

[xamassed]

⟬ @kissespink ⟭

“Hey, hey! Mammon! Guess what?” Kiwa’d run up to the demon in the hall, hands behind her back and clearly hiding something from him. She seemed really excited about whatever it was, though! “Okay, honestly I can’t wait for you to guess. Here,” she removed her hands from behind her back and placed a small, golden gift box in his hands. Inside of the box was a necklace— beaded for the most part, but at the center a small metal charm that resembled a sun. “I was testing some metalworking, it’s kinda clunky, but I thought it would look cute on you! Yknow, cause you’re my sunshine and stuff!”

He couldn't help it — the moment she swooped in, hands behind her back, he hoped there was a surprise. It was the unshakable greed that made him want to ask, but it was her overabundance of excitement that beat him to it.

"Ya got me somethin'? Ya didn't have t'do that, precious!" The way he snickered and protectively cradled the little box in his hands, it was obvious he appreciated the thought. She didn't have to gift him a single thing, but he loved that she did.

The little charm was clunky, clearly made by inexperienced hands, yet each lump and bump told a story. They told him of her love for him, about the passion and effort she had put into the tiny piece meant just for him.

She hadn't bought him a gift to surprise him with. She had made one with her own two hands and all of what she had to offer from her heart.

"Ya made this for me. . . ?" Spoken on an awed whisper, heart so full and so near to bursting that it made speaking almost impossible.

Rather than stumble and stammer over his words, he flung his arms around her. Mammon yanked his darling human into a tight hug, face buried into her chest despite the fact that it always meant nearly suffocating. He nuzzled and groaned into her, gratitude coming in rolling waves that urged him to hold onto her a little while longer.

"I'mma wear it, and everyone's gonna be jealous as hell! Got me another one-of-a-kind piece from the best human in all'a the realms!"

[guubiiz]

you’ll be mine bitch.

[temis-de-leon]

Pick me girls and OM! Brothers - Part 1

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon and Levi (x reader, separately)

Part 2 - Satan, Asmo, Beel and Belphie (x reader, separately)

Part 3 - Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)

Masterlist

CW: pick me girl behavior, suggestive, mentions of sex between the brothers and mc, mentions of violence, a bit of magic, mentions of cheating (not actual cheating), mammon and mc taking a shower together, jealous mc, some fluff, some hurt, some comfort, kinda ooc but i had so much fun with this

.

Lucifer

Wherever you went, rumor followed. Haven't you heard? The mighty Lord of Pride has a significant other. Who could it be? Maybe the prince or his butler? Both of them? Or perhaps it was just some random demon? Surely not the human... right?

"Of course not!" said the witch, surrounded by both curious and jealous nobles.

You weren't in the balcony, but you could still hear the conversation in your spot near the open door. You could also hear the gasps and the murmurs. It was ridiculous.

What to do next? You could interrupt the gossip and make your relationship public; after all, it was only a matter of time before someone spotted you both in Ristorante Six or an empty hallway in RAD.

Ignoring them was the better option, however. No words sounded aggressive and yet polite enough to get the witch to shut up without making a scene. Plus, Lucifer was looking exquisitely fine that night. His wings did wonders to his appearance.

"Then who?" the voices asked while you walked away towards your boyfriend.

"Well, I wasn't supposed to say anything..."

Oh no she did not.

"But we're just so in love"

I'll be damned, you thought. She did.

The wrath you felt was primal and it provoked a worried glance from Satan, who was chatting with one of his many contacts in the other side of the ballroom.

You wanted to make an entrance, a dramatic one, but you could only watch as the witch talked and talked about her supposed first date with Lucifer, their first kiss, their first time, his performance in bed (which... No. She was so wrong about that one).

Finally, you opened your mouth.

"You don't say?"

But that wasn't your voice.

Beside you stood Lucifer in all his glory, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes and a hand hugging your waist. The floor trembled under your feet as he walked and, if it wasn't for his tight grip, the magic induced vertigo would've send you to the ground.

You could tell he was trying not to harm you too much, but the group in the balcony wasn't so lucky. All of them were on their knees and some even coughing blood.

"Do tell all your stories tonight, by dawn you'll have no tongue to keep lying"

The witch had tears in her eyes, too focused on her own pain to be aware of her surroundings or his words. Was he being serious? You wanted to ask what would really happen to that woman, but Lucifer was always two steps ahead.

He cradled your face and kissed you, slowly yet firm. His cold skin felt good against yours, already blushing under his half lidded eyes.

"Dance with me?" he asked, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb.

Damn, did he know how to distract you.

Mammon

"You're dating the Great Mammon!" he'd said with his characteristic smile, both of you eating ramen in your bed while watching bad romcoms "That's something to be stoked about! You need to tell everyone about it!"

Of course, that translated to: please, please, please, I need people to know that I bagged YOU and YOU chose ME.

So, there you were, chatting with his makeup stylist and some other models while he posed in front of the camera. It was better than you expected, actually. You thought the fashion world in the Devildom would be full of self righteous assholes and insufferable divas, but you couldn't be more wrong.

Well, of course, there's always an exception.

There was a demoness in the other side of the studio, taking selfies with a pout in her lips and a fake, nauseating, innocence in her expression. She looked toxic from a mile away.

And yet, your boyfriend dated her for three months; three long and excruciating months, yes, but still. They'd dated.

And you were cool with that. So so cool with that. You were chill. A freezer, even. You loved Mammon and everyone and their mother could tell Mammon loved you. Everything was fine.

Except... well...

It was easy to forget the brothers were famous and popular bachelors, princes of hell, that, just like in every human monarchy, had fans to spare. People that would support them no matter what they did and no matter who they dated and people that would hate everyone they dated because... You don't really know why.

You just had some haters.

And this bitch was taking advantage of this, you knew it in your heart.

Rumors of Mammon cheating on you with one of his model coworkers had been there since the beginning of your relationship. It was something you just had to live with, one of the reasons the Avatar of Greed doted on you with everything he had.

Mammon loved you.

So why did you panick so much when he stood up in the underwear he was advertising, getting ready for the next picture, and the demoness took a selfie of her lips with his half naked body behind her?

"That whore" whispered another model behind you. You liked them.

But it was okay, you didn't mind. No, really. You didn't.

Except you did.

And so did Mammon.

"Oi!"

Everyone looked at him and you could swear his demon form was starting to show, blending with his siluette in blurred edges.

"Delete that"

She could've laughed at him, like everyone tended to do. She could've ignored him and tempt fate, but it was not a wise idea.

There was static in the air, black mist barely clouding your vision and a faint voice whispering in the back of your brain. The sound of feathers filled the room and soon crows started to surround the studio outside the window.

After a couple of sickening minutes, a loud pop settled the place back to normal and caused the birds to fly away.

The demoness gasped, letting her DDD fall to the ground like it burned her. Looking at her smoking hands, it probably did.

After that, everyone acted like nothing happened. You, however? Your whole body was buzzing, leaving you paralyzed with feelings you needed to explore in the future and making Mammon look at you with a knowing smile.

"...sick of those rumors..." he'd say hours later while he washed your hair in the shower "and you dumbass humans believe everything you see, even if it's stupid"

He'd wait until you were both in bed, ruminating about every little thing that happened back there before talking again.

"Because it's stupid, you know? I'd never cheat on ya. The Great Mammon would never do that to you. I mean, I'd never to that anyway, but specially not to you. Keep that in mind, human! You catched the best demon of all hell! Lucky you!"

Lucky me, he wanted to say instead.

You understood him anyways.

Leviathan

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu sent you a message!

.

.

You stared at the screen and the screen stared back at you.

Reading the user name physically hurt you and you'd lie if you said you weren't worried about it. Did you trust Levi? Yes, absolutely. Did you trust f3istyk1ttenuwu? Not really, no.

So (this time voluntarily), you opened the gates of hell.

It was the Devildom version of Discord, which was worrying enough, and the user's pfp showed a cute pinked hair girl with dainty horns and half of her boobs out.

With a frown and your heartbeat in your throat, you opened the chatroom.

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: r u lone?

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: did ur frend leef?

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: their a party pooper

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: didnt let u join the grp

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: :(

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: leviachsn?

.

Oh, heeeeell no.

First of all, it was leviachAn. Second, YOU were the only one who could call him THAT.

Ignoring the voice of reason, you checked the door before investigating the previous messages. Levi was in your room, retrieving your nightwear as punishment for not letting you win in Devil Kart YET AGAIN, so, knowing how flustered he got everytime he saw you in the Ruri Chan's inspired piyamas he got you for your birthday, you were sure you had another couple of minutes alone in his room.

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: thx 4 sving me !!

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: we shld team more

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: were zo good 2gether

wEre Zo gOoD 2gETheR

You couldn't help but mock her in the privacy of your mind. Did she think writing like a 10 year old was attractive? If so, what the fuck?

@/f3istyk1ttenuwu: call? brke my pc & cn't fix it alone \(-o-)/

"Call a fucking tech" you whispered to yourself.

"Henry?"

Fuck.

You turned around like a deer in headlights. Levi's cheeks still wore a furious red, but he remained quiet at the door when he saw you snooping through his private conversations.

Fuck it, you thought after some uncomfortable seconds. If someone could understand jealousy, it would be him.

"Who's this girl?"

Levi frowned and got closer to you, leaning over your shoulder to see his computer, probably giving you the closeness he'd crave if he was in your place.

"Oh, I don't know" his final answer disappointed you "Some girl the others wanted in the party"

But why was she talking to him like that?

"And why is she talking to you like that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, knowing that both of you knew the answer. Then, he straightened like he had an epiphany, and looked at you with shining eyes and a smile too big for his face.

"Are you jealous, MC?"

Levi jumped in happiness before you could say anything, unable to truly express how happy he was upon his sin affecting you.

"My Henry is jealous!! Because of a yucky disgusting otaku like me!! This reminds me of that anime: 'Help?! My crush snooped through my pc and now they're jealous because someone else is flirting with me??'"

It was obvious by now you had nothing to worry about, so you let him be. You let him appreciate how much you loved him.

In the end, you had to shower his face in kisses to shut him up and, for great measure, you also changed into that extra large Ruri Chan t-shirt in front of him.

Hours later, both of you were sweating in the comfort of his bathtub and Levi was completely sure you fell asleep.

And if you saw how he offered himself to fix this girl's computer only to hack her camera and post her real face all around the internet, no you didn't.

Tagging them lovely people: @hello-gloomy @the-sassiest-toaster @hero-nii-blog @yourlocalyin

Hope you like it!

[absolutepokemontrash]

I’m just imagining MC trying to curb the brothers’ more dangerous sinful urges, both for their own good and the good of the people around them, but it doesn’t always work out, and MC needs to settle for small victories.

Mammon: Gah! Human! It’s in my DNA! I’m hardwired to want things! I’m the demon of greed dammit! I want to steal!

MC: No! No theft!

Mammon: Not even one bit of grand larceny? ONE jewellery store???

MC: NO!

Mammon: MC-

MC: OH FOR THE LOVE OF- go rob that fucking vending machine to get the urges out! Shoo! Shoo!

Mammon: *grumbles on the way to shake the shit out of a vending machine*

——————

MC: So this is called Chess Boxing, you can stimulate your brain in between giving it blunt force trauma, and inflicting it on your opponent!

Satan: I don’t know, MC… I’m not sure if I’ll like i-

*elapsed time: 3 minutes*

Satan, covered in blood, both his own, and otherwise: WOOOOO! CHECKMATE, YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER!

Random wrath demon, on the floor: *shaky thumbs up*

—————

MC: This is called competetive eating, Beel.

Beelzebub: So I need to eat all of these humans eating those tacos before the timer runs out. I don’t know, MC, that sounds easy.

MC: Beel- no- you’re eating the tacos. It’s a competition to see who can eat more food, not people.

Beelzebub: Ohhhhh, that sounds much better! :3

————

MC: So instead of being such a dick-

Lucifer: You love it.

MC: Shut up. Anyway, instead of being such a dick, you can channel your pride into other things, like putting your brothers’ report cards up on the fridge!

Lucifer: MC, I would do that if they got anything worth being proud of.

MC: Maybe you can be proud of yourself for investing in a fucking tutor then, Ms Trunchbull.

————

MC: Belphie- Belphie wake up, we need to find something more sustainable to channel your sloth into.

Belphie: *snore*

MC: …you are a drain on my mental energy.

*MC is immediately swatted by Belphie’s tail*

————

MC: Hey Asmo, you know those incredibly detailed dirty roleplay stories you text me on a regular basis?

Asmo: How could I forget~?

MC: Yeah yeah yeah, so do you want to stop traumatizing me with those and go write a dark romance novel that’ll make some booktok girlie scream over?

Asmo: Oooooo… tempting~!

————

MC: Hey Levi, why don’t we envy something attainable so you have something to work towards? Like showering more!

Leviathan: What..? What’s this all about??

MC: I’m just trying to help you grow beyond constantly feeling envy to everyone around you, because you’re pretty great, Levi!

MC: And you can start showing the world you’re great by showering more!

Leviathan: MC, I don’t know…

MC: Watch, you can envy how much I don’t stink! Levi, please, you smell like moldy Monster Energy…