#making my head hurt
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why did i decide to read the bad reviews of tfc.... pls i'll commit hate crimes
#making my head hurt#idk im probably being a major hypocrite by writing this post out but like be so for real#theres a review like 'this book was trying so hard to test my reading comprehension skills' i am very sad#to tell you#that perhaps u do not have reading comp skills u mindless buffoon#these books fucking flowed like WATER DOWN A STREAM#'as a writer myself' boy i sure hope no one is subjected to ur mindless writing#tw vent#im sorry for anyone reading these tags theyre so unbelievably bitchy and catty
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tango doodles
first you make up a guy and then you struggle to draw him correctly
#i need to stop drawing all the faces in 3/4 this is just silly.#gahh#anyways yes! im still on my quest to make tango look at least a little older#because every time i hear his voice the image in my head doesn't fit the sound at all.#dude has a raspy voice that doesn't exactly fit a little guy. if i could id draw him with more realistic proportions but i cant.#because um. reasons.#i can't just give up on my creachur cmon now...#ive noticed recently i tweaked a lot of my designs to be less cartoony. not sure if i like that actually. hm.#man i keep saying stuff like 'oh i gotta make weirder designs' but then i do the exact opposite??? huh?#i should stop trying to be normal. it's really hurting my image#GOD anyways. tags under the post yes.#tangotek#my art#sketch
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[images ID: three images of a comic titled "one must imagine sisyphus happy" by druid-for-hire. it is a visual narrative beginning with someone with wrist pain (depicted by bright orange nerves) working at a drafting table. the reader is shown the same wrist as the person uses it for many everyday tasks such as carrying a grocery basket, pushing elevator buttons, typing, and doing dishes, until the pain dissolves all the panels into chaos. the person then performs several physical therapy exercises until the pain subsides. they sit back down at a desk with their laptop, sigh, and begin typing. a small spark of pain reappears. end id]
a fun little piece i made during the semester and submitted into our school comic anthology! (which you can buy at the Static Fish table at MoCCAFest in NYC ;] ). it's about artists and injury
#comic art#comics#original comic#chronic pain#carpal tunnel#tendonitis#my art#original#edit: what a delightful surprise to see this take off#this was made for class on very low fuel and very few thoughts and late at night and exhausted#the prompt was just a wordless narrative essay. three pages. and i had nothing and no ideas#and my head hurt and i was too tired to think about doing any of the like. research and mind mapping and ideating i'd do otherwise#but my arm hurt#so i decided to do a thing about arm hurty#i'm surprised to see so many people finding it resonating with them#but then again i shouldn't be. the universal lies in the specific#i should make more things about smaller stuff
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what in the bloody fuck?
I AM GOING FUCKING CRAZY 😵💫😩
#florida panthers#aleksander barkov#every time i see a picture of this man#that i havent seen before like how have u escaped me as a chronic scroller#making my head hurt#but holy shit wtf sasha#u out for blood or smth#mine specifically#ahhhhhhhhhhhhh screams
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Today's Seal Is: Owgh...My Head...
#Making this made me realise my head didnt hurt today for god knows why 💪💪💪 horrible sleep schedule didnt win this time#seals#pinniped#daily#mod ribbon#phocidae#baikal seal#baby seal
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guys are you ready *gives your effo long hair i mean. it kinda fits him!
#also i headcanon that he slouches a lot because hes kinda tall and has a bunch of short besties#and his back hurts too yayy i love making characters suffer.#spinning etho with a messed up spine and fluffy hair in my head#alex draws#hermitcraft#hermitblr#etho#ethoslab
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another failed sneaking attempt
#i didnt even have this written down as an idea#i just started drawing cause i was bored and here we are#i think this is the most effort ive put into a multi panel post yet#purple text on a grey background is very difficult to make look good so sorry if it hurts your eyes#getting better with expressions i thhink. no longer hate myself whenever i do that downturned mouth thing on uzi#and head shape im a lot happier with the rounded square kinda head shape i see in all the md art i like#forgot to draw on ns sketchpad in the last panel. woopsies#theyd probably have a little bit of trauma regarding the solver stuff but like#theres no way in hell uzi is turning down the ability to become a sick as hell nightmare worm#for all its evil stuff the solver was edgy as hell and i think she would be totally on board with that#honestly i think i just wanted an excuse to draw solver worm stuff#i doodled it a bit ago and liked the way it came out so i wanted to draw it more#my hand is cramping im wrapping this up#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#the worm bit in the final panel is solely because i remembered i can use gausian blur to give the illusion of depth or whatever#never actually tried that before i think so here i am#oh yeah uhh#nuzi#i guess. i think this counts#im not well versed in the Fandom Rules
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Missed drawing these two too
Bonuses
#rendoc#still thinking about them a lot#always#hermitshipping#sorry for the weird empty area in the first one. It was my attempt to make it take up less of people's timelines#this art is so embarrassing lol but man I like when Doc's drawn as a big goat man I have no defense I plead the fifth#or well at least it becomes embarrassing when its. shippy#whatever Tumblr people are usually cool so here goes!!#I am 99% a fluff and hurt/comfort person. Idc how frisky these guys get in fanon all I can ever think of is fluff sorry#Also contemplated implementing Doc's accent into the dialogue but I am forever paranoid of offending someone lol#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure#hermitblr#tubby art
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happy pride from everyones favorite boy besties!! 🏳️🌈💜
#i got possessed by this image and whacked it out in 6 hours. my head and hands hurt but my heart is so happy#im a trans josuke TRUTHER !!!!#also i think this is some of the best oku hair ive done?? i like making their hair look like oil spills bc of how much product they use LOL#oku lights up and josukes head just immediately turns into a fireball. the heat of passion etc#anyways happy pride i love gay people#josuyasu#josuke higashikata#okuyasu nijimura#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo#jjba#my art#pride
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apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess
#mcu#xmen#xmen movies#xmen apocalypse#erik lehnsherr#magneto#charles xavier#professor x#cherik#not really but sssshh theyre in the same post#snap sketches#anyway Be Surprised If You Will i just intended to do practice drawings of charles tonight#charles doodle is a vague redraw of the first charles doodle i made so thats fun i GUESS#its been a hot minute and james' face still eludes me but we're getting somewhere Probably. i hope.#but then i remembered micheal said originally they were going to make erik's hair go white in apocalypse and i crumbled#and i was JUST gonna leave it at the first erik drawing but then i was like 'can i draw him chilling for once' so. pseudo screencap redraw#it was so funny drawing the first two back-to-back on the same canvas cause i had Charming Charles in one folder#and i open the second one and its. Rage. Anger. and then to round it off He Got Better :) vjealkeajvLK#sorry i made the charles drawing look like a dating sim screenshot i was gonna leave the bg blank but i got mad at it being blank#so i cobbled that together. i cobble a dating sim appropriate bg together vjelkjea#its so funny a lot of times ill be like 'i wont draw a bg' and then ill make a quick one anyway i cant resist i apologize#ok im so sleepy so goodnight team my head hurt
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toji is so grounding. he's able to make your worries disappear without ever even doing anything (he doesn't know he can do this btw). like yeah he makes his jokes and his fuckass old man comments and he is still bad with feelings but the second he sees you drawing back into yourself for whatever reason, he's quick to just.. poke at you. he'll knock his knee against yours ever so gently, trying to get you to look at him. and when you don't, when you avoid his gaze, he turns into a very docile creature. his voice gets lower, his eyes way softer as he nuzzles into you. he knows his words won't be any good, he's not good at using them, so physical touch has to do.
pulling you into his chest or kneeling down beside you when you're laid down on the bed and tracing your features with his calloused fingers, there are many ways to do it. he just wants to make it go away. make whataver is bothering you just fuck off. he wants to protect you from the world and keep you safe from your own brain and so, nothing is too much. for a man so unfamiliar with tender touches, he's surprisingly gentle. his hands are rough but never with you.
he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, he swipes his thumb over the sensitive skin below your eye. he presses a kiss, a small peck to your forehead. is this the same man who tripped you a few hours ago? is this the man who teased you for spilling water on yourself? is he really the one that groans and sighs and rolls his eyes whenever you serenade him with a silly song?
he does trip you and he does tease you and he does act like your antics aren't the most endearing thing in the world, but he also feels sick to his stomach at the sight of your teary eyes. he needs you to feel better, he needs you to smile again. you're the one who keeps him afloat and he refuses to let you sink an inch. down on his knees, he devotes himself to you in all of his might. he nudges his nose against yours as a silent promise before enveloping your body under his. he'll kiss you better, he'll hold you better. anything and everything – he's all yours.
#another wordvomit post bc my head is hurting so#idk how much sense it makes again but#he's my comfort character okay#and so i have to talk about him at all times or i'll die#toji#mickey is daydreaming#toji x reader
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give this angle another tri
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#stanford pines#theraprism#gravity falls fanart#digital art#my art#procreate#yeah I finally checked out thisisnotawebsitedotcom hooray!#don’t ask what everything on the second page says#I don’t even remember at this point LMAO#I just wanted to make it look neat but now my hand hurts from all that coded writing#there also may be some spelling errors in there bc that always seems to happen with me HAHUIHS#by merely messing up the cipher lmao#I based Scalene and Euclid off of old cartoon parents#Scalene is based around just like…50s cartoon mom#and Euclid has that 50s cartoon dad thing but also Professor Utonium#little billy….he’s just my young Miles Edgeworth…he’s Astro Miles real…#when I think of his home world I envision it all 50s styled#like cartoon depictions of that time with bright colours and bold geometry#in my head it’s idealistic but done so on purpose so that destroying such a place would be an even more absurd thing to do#destruction caused by his hubris and thirst for wanting something MORE wihtout appreciating what it was he already had#and now he has nothing in the end and it’s his fault and he knows it#thinking about him missing his parents and regretting that decision every single day hurts me 😭
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Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.
#ignooore that a5 bonnie doesnt get the nice resolved versions of their discussions with sif.. i still think they can navigate it eventually#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#the dialogue in this kicked my asssss. trying to balance loop's evasiveness and layered meaning...#to spell it out: it's not that loop is actually *that* worried they'll hurt bonnie. it's that they think siffrin is being a fucking idiot#and being extremely sloppy in their protection of their party by trusting them to not be a loose cannon. THEY simply wouldn't#be that irresponsible if it were them!!! hmph!!! ... because they care. and because they maybe Are a little worried.#they don't want that responsibility. they gave that all up. stop making them responsible again. stop stop stop#and as for the other half of the meaning here: get called out idiot. not on purpose of course. bonnie doesn't know (yet).#but it's a brisk reminder of the hypocrisy (since even if loop makes sly reference to their identity to sif all the time... one must wonder#how often it actually sinks in that that's true....? it must be hard to get your head around when you refuse to admit that your habits and#demeanor have changed so drastically since then. like wtf thats not what i would do! clearly a different guy ! faker !! and yet...)#but yeah idk i think about loop and bonnie's relationship a lot. the one party member i dont think loop could ever bring themselves to be#mean to. because cmon. thats a kid. but still... the emotional distance probably stings even worse than usual.#and once bonnie finds out.... ! well. that emotional distance probably stings. even worse. than usual.
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his cute little dance when he won 🥺
#my gifs#911#family feud#oliver stark#there’s more i could do but my head hurts#and i’m sure someone else will make them
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Finarfin Fades.
No one expects it, no one’s faded in Valinor since Miriel. The War of Wrath is won and he comes back, waving off the courtiers, well wishers, and congratulators with his usual grace, and walks into the palace of Tirion. To rooms abandoned since their owners left so long ago. Winding deeper and deeper his feet take him to what was once Finwë’s favourite garden.
He’s so tired.
He’s fulfilled his promise to Fëanaro and Nolofinwë, to avenge them. To make the agony of their final moments - agony Finarfin felt, falling to the floor screaming as fire and darkness consumed his spirit - count for something. Now Morgoth is finally gone, but he’s not the only one.
His brothers, larger than life, larger than death, are gone. With them his sons. Niece. Nephews. Grandchildren. His daughter is never to return. He Saw little Nelyo’s death in his dreams and is sure hopes for the child’s own sake that Makalaurë will be close behind.
Little remains. Even less on these golden shores.
So Finarfin sits on a bench long overgrown with vines and weeds, and watches the sun filter through the thicket, wishing the ghosts he sees in his father’s garden would flesh out.
He sits. He waits.
And by the time anyone finds him, it’s too late.
…at least he’s smiling again.
#au i guess#Every so often I’m hit with Finarfin feels#and it *hurts*#we love Finarfin in this house#my poor guy deserved better#I know Finrod is reembodied but let’s say it would’ve happened after the war#the Valar didn’t expect this though#and they can’t make it better#Finarfin’s lost too much and he’s tired#tired like his half-brother’s mother#and they know he won’t return until his brothers are let out#maybe that’s what finally convinced them to let out Fëanor and Fingolfin#they’re waiting in the Halls btw#the whole fam is#they’re proud#and Arafinwë finally gets some rest#Finarfin#Arafinwë#war of wrath#fëanor#fingolfin#they’re haunting this whole thing#you can decide where Eärwen is in all this#I usually hc her as having stayed with her husband but maybe she leaves in this one#or maybe she’s gone for a few weeks trying to settle the new arrivals before heading back#not my best work but alas#midnight writings yanno#silmarillion#ITHOF Writes
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