#idk im probably being a major hypocrite by writing this post out but like be so for real

[zoroshonkingbazonkadonkas]

why did i decide to read the bad reviews of tfc.... pls i'll commit hate crimes

[kaffeinic]

60 Question Tag Challenge!

I was challenged by @woo-for-woojin to answer all of these. To be fair, I challenged her first, but let’s not get into the details. Original post of questions by @roseyygf.

1: Selfie.

GAAAAAAAH I HATE THIS ALREADY SMH IM SO UGLY.

Lmao look at my fingers. What the hell is going on there?

2: What would you name your future kids?

I feel like that’s a joint decision, so I can’t say. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll want to have my own kids through childbirth. My family has a genetic disposition to difficulties during pregnancy. I might adopt.

3: Do you miss anyone?

A few people. Some of them I haven’t even met in person. I miss my BFF from school. I miss a few people online that I’ve fallen out of touch with. I’m always missing people. 😂

4: What are you looking forward to?

College, and moving out of my house. I’ve been itching to do both of these for years now.

5: Is there anyone who can always make you smile?

@hoshithehamster, @woo-for-woojin, @a-toxic-galaxy, my BFF from school, and my older sister. Also, I swear, @hoshithehamster and I are literally are always TALKING IN CAPS LOCK BECAUSE WE ARE IDIOTS AND WE HAVE THE WEIRDEST, MOST FUN CONVERSATIONS EVER.

6: Is it hard for you to get over someone?

Once I’ve gone all-in, yeah. When it’s a crush, not usually. I’m really slow to develop a crush on someone. Painfully slow lol. I’m cautious because I’ve been hurt by people in that regard a few times. One incident had me suicidal for a long time.

7: What was your life like last year?

Kind of the same? I didn’t have this blog open. If you had asked this regarding two years ago, I would have said that I wasn’t homeschooling, didn’t know how to play piano much, didn’t have this blog, and was very depressed because of my old schoolmates.

8: Have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

YES! Whenever I feel stuck and know I have no control of a situation, I get frustrated and find a quiet place to cry.

9: Who did you last see in person?

I’m assuming this means out of my own household. The last person I saw was my older sister and her roommates, who I am really good friends with. One of them loves coffee as much as me and it’s great! I spent the night. That was over a month and a half ago lmao. Before that, I had gone on a date at a coffee shop.

10: Are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yeah. My family gets angry at me if I’m sad or angry about anything, so I hold it all in. It definitely has made life a bit harder. I make people angry when I won’t disclose my feelings to them. I just find it to be better to hold it. I have to be really comfortable with you and really love you if I’ll tell you that I’m sad/angry and why.

11: Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah. It’s Le Pire by Maître Gims. He’s a really great French singer.

12: What is something you want right now?

If this is concerning food, I’m in the mood for chicken right now lol. I need some protein. Aside from food, I’m wanting to get a pedal for my electric piano. I have no sustain and it ruins a lot of songs. 😂 It’s why I have my ko-fi open.

13: How do you feel right now?

Meh. I’m not feeling great. I have some issues with fainting. My blood pressure drops like a rock at times and I feel it coming on, if you know what I’m saying. It’s this kind of lethargic, sick feeling. I’m trying to drink a lot of water, just in case it’s about dehydration.

14: When was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

When I last visited my favourite coffee shop. For those of you who read Caffeinic, Chan’s character design is a mix of his true personality and a barista at my café of choice. He always gives me a hug when I see him, and when I say good bye. 😊

15: Personality description?

For a quick description, I’d say that INFJ, which is my MBTI type, is really accurate for me. I’ll let one of my friends try to describe me. I’m bad at describing myself lol.

Okay, but my heart is combusting. This amazing hooman, I lob her so much!!!! One of my best friends for sure.

16: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

All the time. I’m sure you all have heard Fight Song by Rachel Platten, but that line where she says, “And all those things I didn't say // Wrecking balls inside my brain // I will scream them loud tonight // Can you hear my voice this time?” really resonates with me. It was that lyric that hooked me on this song.

17: Opinion on insecurities?

I think 90% of us have them. They are humbling, which can be good, but I urge you to know your worth. I’m such a hypocrite.

18: Do you miss how things were a year ago?

Not really. Not much has changed.

19: Have you ever been to New York?

No, but I’d love to visit! I’m from the west coast lol.

20: What is your favourite song at the moment?

Ramai by Delia & The Motans. I listen to a lot of different languages in music lol. I have no idea what any of it means, so if it’s inappropriate, I apologize.

21: Age and birthday.

Internationally, 18. May 3, 2001.

22: Description of crush.

I don’t think I have a crush???? Haha. There’s this really kind, pretty hot barista at the café who seems to like me but I’m avoiding relationships, so idk. He has green eyes and black, curly hair. He’s maybe 170-180cm, but I’m not entirely sure. He looks damn good in a button up, I... wow. 🥵

23: Fear(s)?

So many lmao. I’m afraid of some trivial things, like bugs and rollercoasters, but I’m also afraid of some different items, like never having a family of my own, or of not being able to achieve my dreams.

24: Height?

154(?)cm. About 5’1.”

25: Role model?

I don’t think I have one lmao. I just try to be the best person I can be. It’s a goal in life for me to be a truly good person.

26: Idol(s).

Aren’t Idols and Role Models pretty much the same thing..? 😂 To be general, I look up to those who have studied in medical school because I know it’s a rollercoaster of difficulties and debt. I applaud them.

27: Things I hate:

This could be a very long list. Let’s go:

Unnecessary rudeness/bullying

Being forced into things I don’t like and/or am afraid of doing

Being lied to

Being stolen from

Being thrown in awkward situations

Being denied my alone time

When people make a mess that I have to clean

When I cook for people and they don’t thank me. My face just scrunched in anger while I typed this one lmao.

Arrogant/egotistic people

So many more, but I’ll cut it off there. 😊

28: “I’ll love you if...”

OOF. There’s no specific thing someone could do. If you love me, I’ll love you. I don’t mean the “awe ily” kind of love. I mean the “I will keep you out of trouble and protect you and be around you only to enjoy your company because I love you” kind of love. True love. Not that artificial crap.

29: Favourite film(s)?

Room 1408 is really good haha. I also really liked A Simple Favour. I like a lot of movies lmao. Superhero movies are always good.

30: Favourite tv show(s)?

I watched a lot of Black Mirror before we got rid of Netflix. I watch Superstore and Brooklyn 99 like they’re the gospel. I’m always down for Gilmore Girls because it’s a classic. I often watch my old childhood shows like Danny Phantom.

31: 3 random facts.

I’m assuming you mean, “3 random facts about me” lol.

I play piano.

I read “too much.” Let’s be honest, is it even possible to read too much?

I write my own stories and songs all of the time.

32: Are your friends mainly girls or guys?

Oof. My absolute closest friends are girls, but the majority of people I would consider my friends are male.

33: Something you want to learn.

Everything I can about medicine. I’m so interested in it, and I love the idea of fixing someone’s body. I’m fascinated by the weird and/or nasty things about our bodies. I hope that doesn’t sound too weird. I also wanna learn how to use a French press lmao.

34: Most embarrassing moment?

I had been selected to perform in a talent show a few years back for my old school and I got up there, face planting on the floor. Halfway through the song, I froze up and forgot the lyrics. I have never forgotten that.

35: Favourite subject?

Any form of science or Language Arts.

36: 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

Become a doctor.

Write a song that someone can perform onstage.

Clock in my 10,000 hours in piano.

Extra: I want to learn violin so badly!

37: Favourite actor/actress?

Jennifer Aniston or Nicolas Cage probably. I don’t pay much attention to actors. I also love Jeremy Renner’s work!

38: Favourite comedian(s)?

Oh lord, this question was made for me. Randy Feltface, Samuel J. Conroe, TwoSet, Ross Lynch, and many, many more!

39: Favourite sport(s)?

Volleyball, baseball, and badminton. Low/no-contact sports lol.

40: Favourite memory?

I can’t think of a specific one, but my best memories are always those random, funny moments I have with friends. I don’t think I’m ever gonna forget when my friend and I named one of her plants for the first time. I made a plant family tree. Dear lord save my soul.

41: Relationship status?

Single~

42: Favourite book(s)?

THAT IS THE HARDEST QUESTION EVER! How can I be expected to answer this???? 😂 I don’t have a favourite.

43: Favourite song ever?

Is this q&a list crafted specifically for me to not be able to answer any of the questions? 😂 I don’t have one. It changes with time.

44: Age you get mistaken for?

People always think I’m younger than I am, but if they don’t, then they over shoot it. Most people think I’m 16, or as old as 20-22. It’s crazy lol.

45: How you found out about your idol.

I’m going to interpret this as how I found out about my ult bias, who is Chan from Stray Kids. I was surfing SoundCloud and found the 3racha page. There wasn’t much there, but I liked what they had recorded. From then, I saw some of their survival show and may have kind of fallen for Channie and his personality lmao. Whoops.

46: What my last text message says.

This is the one I got while I was answering this specific question. 😊

“I feel that. I do hate unrealistic stories or stories that go on to fast like. I want to read stories where I feel like the reader could be me and not some sort of perfect girl getting the attention of all the people and fell in love withing 3 seconds and marry. I know that there must be some drama and special things to keep the story going and that's OK but I really appreciate stories who are still based more on a normal life. And you really do a good job in writing normal life stories // And tbh no story made me as happy as your barista!Chan story. It really is something different and I love it.”

Idk if the sender would be okay with me sharing that it was them, so I just copied it lol. I truly do love the feedback I get from you guys! Thank you all so much~~!

47: Turn-ons?

I’m assuming - again - that you mean romantically? I’ve always liked someone who has a decent sense of humour. Whenever I see someone working hard at their job/studies, part of me finds it... sexy? Idk. I’m weird. Save me. 😂

48: Turn-offs?

Overconfidence is a big no-no. It’s annoying as well. I can’t stand someone who truly is an idiot. Nothing turns me off more than getting a text that’s barely legible with a million abbreviations. Speak to me like someone with a brain, please. Another big turn-off is someone who is just automatically very sexual. I’m not a super sexual person, and I don’t want to hang out with someone who has a one-track mind in that sense.

49: Where I want to be right now.

The café.

50: Favourite picture of your idol?

But... he’s so pretty? How??

Sorry. I do not own these gifs/photos of Chan~

51: Star sign?

Taurus..? Idk if that’s for horoscopes lol.

52: Something I’m talented at.

Mmmmmm idk. I’m pretty mundane. I read a lot. I really would love to say I’m talented at piano, but I just don’t think I’m there yet.

53: 5 things that make me happy.

“Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...” Sorry.

Classical music

The smell of an old book

Petrichor and/or rainstorms

Playing piano

The smell of coffee

54: Something that’s worrying me at the moment.

Everything?? 😂 I’m worried about affording college tuition at the moment. I’m a senior and it’s steadily approaching.

55: Tumblr friends?

I almost yeeted my phone across the room. This is my question. 😂

@hoshithehamster, my fellow plant mother. I think we are each other’s spirit animal lol. I love you more than you know~! As a side note: She’s model material, I swear! Soooooo pretty, inside and out!

@woo-for-woojin, the most adorable and thoughtful person ever?? Always a pleasure to speak to. She gives the coolest and cutest requests ever, I’m-

@a-toxic-galaxy, one of the first people who supported this blog. I love you so much! We both have gotten a little busy lately, but I hope we never fall out of touch.

@doubleknot42, I guess more of an acquaintance? I still really want to get to know her more. The content on her blog is amazing, I highly recommend.

@ethereal-chanracha, someone who I’ve just recently started talking to. We’ve learned so much about each other in such a short time and I already think she’s so awesome! If you’re down for a good conversation, hit her up.

@palemoonpersephone, a friend I made after writing a post about my experiences at school. She is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful and hardworking people I’ve ever met. She offered to be my friend if ever I need one, and I don’t regret it. 💕

56: Favourite food(s).

Homemade granola (I make it a lot.)

Salad (Don’t @ me. I really do enjoy salad. I’m much more of an herbivore. 😂)

Most types of Chinese chicken

This spicy noodle thing I think I invented?

Italian sandwiches

Any type of spicy chip (Takis, Hot Cheetos, etc...)

Plain white rice

Gochu jang flavoured chicken

Despite this list, know that I’m a very picky eater lol

57: Favourite animal(s).

Foxes

Doggos

CATS

White tigers

HEDGEHOGS OML

58: Description of my best friend.

Y’all probably know who this is, but...

Kind

Attentive

Smart

Pretty

Passionate

gOOFY (like me)

The best plant mother in existence??? Fight me.

Patient

Empathetic

And SO much more~~!

59: Why I joined tumblr?

Initially, just to find cool posts and like/reblog whatever I enjoyed. My main blog, @assainfj, is the same blog I started with lol. It’s now become a place for me to share my thoughts and my writing and to meet amazing hoomans.

60: Ask me anything you want.

YASSSSS PLEASE I love answering your questions~~~~~! Send in as many as you’d like!

~

I tag: @hoshithehamster • @a-toxic-galaxy • @palemoonpersephone • @doubleknot42 • @ethereal-chanracha & anyone else who wants to do this!

[celestialallstars]

Episode #13: “baaa louder.” - Zach

So after that tribal I feem good and bad. On one end, I think it was the best case for me to use it for vote reveal and it showed Bryce/Zach up, Rhys is out and yeah. On the other, I regret voting Rhys out now because it will give Michael and Chloe an excuse to force rocks in F8 unless some serious minigames are done. SO I am going to ask Michael/Chloe to F3 maybe? Not sure yet but I think now if I ever do reach the end, I am gonma probably use this vote as a reason to win since I feel if I didnt make the decision to say anything, I would have possibly left. AND everyone got exposed? Miss me on that revote

girl im going home

so tribal happened and like. period. it was really sad + like i love rhys and seeing him go was upsetting, but like.. it's the game. no hard feelings! but i'm so frustrated with so many people. it's less of the game but more of how they acted, and thats why bryce and i snapped and leaked literally every little thing we know. like my issues were like... chris' main point was vilifying bryce & i for targeting him, but like, that happened AFTER loris slept. and??? they had a plan since i lost immunity to split on bryce/rhys. like yeah be mad at me for the shadiness of the mitch vote per se (albeit it not being super shady imo), but like... call that out initially. don't act like im in the wrong for the vote TONIGHT when the alliance was always so cliquey. then chloe got... idk. arrogant? like i snapped at her (wrongly so) but my annoyance with her is not deep, its just that she is like 'oh yalls voted me' but its like... ok. we thought you leaked. and even if you didnt (which she didnt), they legittttt WERE VOTING BRYCE ANYWAY LIKE . IT DOESNT MATTER. STOP VICTIMIZING YOURSELF. YOU WERE SHADY YOURSELF. but i cant be too mad because they didnt know about the 8 person alliance (supposedly) and i suppose with the info they DID have, they made a good decision. though still dumb i hate it but its my fault too who cares im perfect. jared is just so slimey. and stephen like??? saying 'i said to u dont fk me and you immediately snitch to bryce' BUT YOU HAD A PLAN TO BLINDSIDE ME AND MY ALLIES LIKEEEE STOP JUST SAY YOURE SNAKEY. LIKE IM OPENLY SNAKEY. ILL SAY IT. BUT DONT VILIFY ME???? HELLO?? like its the pot calling the kettle black.

i'm overdramatic just because im IN the mood to go off. or, was. i snapped (wrongly so) tonight. i want anyone who reads this to know its not personal and i love all of u dearly but . im frustrated and i want a good edgic rating LOL

loris frustrates me because he legit is a goat. he can deny that all he wants but there is a literal 0% chance i vote him at this rate to win. i dont know why. he just.. isnt playing for himself. whats NEW. jk... love u. IM JUST frustrated.

on good news, i got a super idol. period. aint telling anyone. like i love bryce but i dont want him to expect me to use it on him because . it wont be good for my game. im playing for myself and myself only. like... period. tho i hope him and i can manage to survive a bit but i dont think thats likely.

im not reviewing this i just am writing whats in my feelings so its more authentic LOL

anyway this game was super fun. despite being stressful and straining, the call was super enjoyable and this org has been one of my favs, and this night has made it sm better. so period. no regrets, just faggotry.

________________________________________________________________

i'm a flop.

Everything seems so messy tonight. Rhys has approached me about me, him, Michael, Bryce nd Zach workin together but like... they seemed so actively against me sooooo idk what's going on there it feels like a trap. They suggested doing Chris which does kinda sound real but that could be part of the trap idk im very nervous. I just kinda said I would go along with the plan but I don't really intend to do that. I don't think Chris is the move for me this round, Rhys doesn't speak to me which is why I'm also nervous the alliance came from nowhere. To my knowledge the votes are gonna be split 3-3-3 in case of an idol, which I hope gets flushed. Idols make me nervy. Hell I didn't even know Jared had an idol that fucking snake, but it's fine cause he played it on me.

(((((aj note --- this confessional above is obviously from last round but its 2am and i want to go to sleep so idk))))))))

________________________________________________________________

Last night was an absolute mess and I feel I missed a lot of what went on so I need to watch the post tribal live stream to see if I can try to make more sense of what went down. So far I gathered Jared is a snake, we been knew and Bryce is a leaker. However the leaking shit got pinned on me YET AGAIN. WHY THE FUCK DO THESE BITCH ASS HOES KEEP PINNING SHIT ON ME. FUCK U BRYCE

I just, everything's a mess. All the alliances i doubt are going to work, Jared isnt long for this game, me or Stephen may follow him out, and the rest will likely see some combo of Loris/Michael/Chloe in the end. I dont know, suddenly feeling hopeless about all of this and like, pretty unhappy at the moment. I knew it would be hard but like I literally am struggle to have clear thoughts and with this and outside life factors I'm just feeling lost at the moment.

hi i'm less mad so ignore my above confessional LOL. thank u for tuning in.

except u loris. baaa louder.

Whew hunny last night exposed a lot of fake ass bitches but we really been knew they’re fake. I’m feeling confident about the next few rounds because I think people see myself and Chloe as numbers and people they need to bring on board to make plans work. Part of my strategy this game is to sit back and let the bigger players come in and try and make the big moves everyone wants to feel like they’re making a difference and everyone wants to build their resume by making big moves and as long as I can maintain my threat level I think I’ll be safe and I can have a bit of Influence in the game as people scramble for my vote.

WELL! That was an interesting tribal!

Shortly before tribal, it came out that a secret group of 5 was made to blindside Chris. (Zach/Bryce/Rhys/Michael/Chloe)

I obviously didn't want that to happen, and neither did Chris or Jared. Bryce leaked it to Jared, and Jared told me and Chris. I made the INDEPENDENT decision to confront Zach about this, because I'm not asking for permission to make moves sorry. The only issue is that Zach immediately went to Bryce, even though I asked him not to fuck me. Bryce went to Jared and Chris, and they went back to me. WELP! That just hurts my strategic relationship with Zach even more than the vote already would have.

Chloe and Michael were doing what they could to keep the votes off Chloe, luckily, my move with Zach ensured that they failed! WOO!

I don't want to make the same mistake as Matt though. I may have a decent majority now, but I don't want to burn my bridges with Zach and Bryce. I stayed out of the drama last night (mostly) and I'm gonna keep talking game with them. I might not be able to fully repair things totally but I'm confident I can do better than the other 5.

I'm gonna go over my relationships with the remaining castaways since there's finally a small enough number for me to feel like doing that:

Chris: My closest ally, we tell each other basically everything. I'm worried about going to Final Tribal with him though. He's played well in every facet of the game and literally won "Who do you want to see win" in Touchy Subjects. If I don't get a chance to take him out at the end, I think I can mount a strong argument against him. but I'd only feel comfortable making that move if I was already immune and definitely going to Final Tribal.

Jared: My second(?) closest ally, though I now know he has kept a TONNNN of secrets from me and on top of that he's a threat to win. Luckily, with all the info coming out from last round, I don't think I'll need to worry about Jared being at Final Tribal.

Loris: With Rhys gone, Loris has officially taken the title of "person I kinda wanna maybe side with but he's talked about voting me out so we're not cool". I kinda wanna weaken Bryce and Zach (or maybe vote them both out) before taking a shot against him, I just hope he doesn't realize I know he's after me until it's too late.

Michael: I really don't know where I stand with Michael LMAO! He voted with us last round but never informed us about the plan to get Chris out. He said he was "going to" but I don't believe that for a second. In fact, I think if Chris hadn't revealed what Bryce had leaked there's a chance he may have gone through with it.

Chloe: I kinda love Chloe. I wish I never accidentally turned the majority alliance against her. She's fun to hang around with AND someone I think I could beat in the end. It's like a win-win. Except I don't think she wants me anywhere near the end.

Zach: Out of the 3 people out of the loop at the last vote my relationship with Zach was the strongest. That having been said, neither of us were really sharing much information with each other after Mitch left and I feel like there's really not much further we can go together. Him and Bryce are both good options to be targeted at this vote.

Bryce: While I've personally known it for quite some time, for Bryce to outright say he didn't want to me in an alliance with me is kind of the most red a red flag can be. If I have it my way, Bryce will be the next person voted out. Granted, I'm saying all of this before immunity results and real strategic talks can begin, so my mind might change, but it's not likely.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPS6OykNvh0 its so sad im going home tldr: im gone chris can say 1000 words but if they all mean nothing whats the point. jared ruined  my trust in people forever. chloe is a goat hypocrite who aggravates me. stephen is alright not good not bad. rhys is my king and im so sad hes gone i legit love that man. zach is fake. michael is annoying. loris is being a goat but who cares. omg me taking 0 blame for anything bad that happened to me? more likely than u think!!

hi! so. I think I can win this game. my intentions for a while have been to get out someone I don’t see working with personally, rhys, and then attempt a flip on jared/stephen. i also very much have wanted to turn on Chris because I believe me and him are playing similarly in that we have positioned ourself well into the middle, and going to the end with someone who’s basically played the same game but more well-polished is not a good idea! i wanted to get myself this immunity so that I could talk to people about flipping without risk of being ratted and then voted out, which was almost what happened to chloe last round. im also starting to become aware of how me never attending tribal is making me fall under the radar in a way?? everyone is fighting each other and arguably making situations worse for themselves by giving an answer straight away, for example, bryce declaring his f2 with Jared in the call. though people can still slander me while I’m not there, what they say cannot be dwelled on for too long because I’m not there, putting me in a more favourable position than some of the other people here? I think? that someone said that I was playing the middle last tribal council and well.. they’re right so oops.

my ideal path to the end would be stephen and jared leaving the next rounds, and then Chris, although the order does not concern me right now. then I would be at final 5 with Bryce zach chloe and michael and then whoever isn’t immune out of bryce and zach can be voted out. perry. and then I’m gonna have to pray to god I win final immunity OR Michael or Chloe do but like that doesn’t feel likely to me. AND THEN I WIN!!!

ALSO. im in the final 7. I just need to survive one more round and then I’m guaranteed final 5... because no way in hell im playing that legacy on someone  else.. I am not letting THAT happen again.

Me nd Michael been talking, nd we’ve wanted to make a move for a bit now but crazy shit keeps happening. We needed to take down Rhys and break up the Rhys/Bryce/Zach trio so Bryce nd Zach are more useable. Now we planning on flipping on Jared/Chris/Stephen. My current target would be Jared because as much as I trust him and adore him I think he’s definitely running this bitch. Then Loris decides he also wants to flip nd he tells Michael that he wanted to exclude me but JOKES ON U LORIS I WAS ALREADY PLANNING ON FLIPPING U DUMB FUCK. Which was kinda obvious he was planning on excluding me cause Zach and Michael both messaged me about it and I knew Loris was involved in the flipping but he hadn’t messaged me about it sooooo. Don’t test me Loris I’ll make u be voted next.

_______________________________________________________________

#FuckLoris

_______________________________________________________________

GRIT YOUR TEETH, PULL YOUR HAIR, PAINT THE WALLS BLACK AND SCREAM FUCK THIS CAST CAUSE ITS MY GAME AND IM GONNA TAKE IT BACK 

So tonight the plan me chloe and loris are sailing to the majority alliance that voted together last time is that the votes will be spilt. And they will be but we won’t be joining we will be switching to Jared and eliminating the biggest threat in the game at this point. From there I’m thinking of flipping to take out zach or Bryce and continuing on the game switching to control the power in the game.

_______________________________________________________________  

Part of the beauty of this move to blindside Jared is that a lot of the blame for the flip is shared amongst both Chloe and Loris paired with Bryce and Zach being bigger threats means that my name will most likely still be out of peoples mouth I just have some major damage control to do to stop Stephen/Chris teaming up with Zach/Bryce and creating a 4-3.

A lot has happened.

Bryce and I's F2 imploded because of me, and even though we reconciled today I don't think I can truly work with him again. Best I can do is try to secure his jury vote.

I have deals with Stephen Chris Michael and Chloe, Loris will hopefully fall by the wayside next round.

The plan this time was to get Michael onside in PMs and gauge his interest for voting out Zach, reinforcing the "this is our shield strategy." He did the work from there. Yeet!

________________________________________________________________

Jared is voted out 5-2-1. He becomes the fifth member of our jury.

Watch Jared’s exit interview take place below:

[survivorcutthroat]

Rob’s Jury Question/Answer(s)

Congrats you two on making it to the finals.

Zack

I respect your game. You were able to survive many tribal councils where you were a target, yet you also remained low-key at the same time. You were loyal to your alliances and weren’t fake. You didn’t try to talk to me which I weirdly appreciate because you wouldn’t have to lie to me, you weren’t going to betray me because we weren’t really close and there was really no need to talk to each other.

I told the jury about what you did at the final 5. It’s a game move you made, but you wanted me to keep it quiet even here. I think it benefited you so I want you to own up to the fact that you gave your idol to me. You told me that you were voting me out, which is a plus in my book even if it is some obvious kiss-assing because that means you’re honest and I appreciate it when people are honest. The jury: *laughs.* You said I was going to win but I really wasn’t I was spot on about what the jury was thinking of me,

I want you to describe your relationships with the jury and Amir. It (better) can be long, I want honest opinions of what you thought of them, how they helped you out, why you went against them. That’s it from me, good luck.

Amir

*Cracks knuckles*

It’s no surprise that the cast gets leaked, especially with this season. I found out three people who were playing this season before it started. Jaiden, Luke, and you. I did my research, looked through your old confessionals in Transylvania, asked around about you. My analysis was that you were a very charming guy, you got people to think they were tight with you, and then you would cut them loose. Now I look like the biggest Booboo The Fool. You would say, “Rob! I feel like I tell you things but you don’t tell me anything.” And that’s the reason why. I didn’t want to get close to you, I didn’t want you to betray me, I didn’t want to be that idiot who thought you were his best friend in the entire world just for you to backstab them. I was literally afraid of this happening, and what do you know, it does, because I’m a fucking genius.

I always wanted to meet you, and when we were cast in Clash of the Titans 4 it was the best opportunity because I could get to know you and become your friend, get close to you to where you would want to work with me in this game as well. Where there game intentions? Yes, but you were a really caring guy and I did like you on a personal level.

I was sad that we weren’t together originally, but then we went on to new Magyi. You became my closest ally, the person I wanted to make the end with, the person I was playing this game for, the person who made me grateful to be in this shitty game. I think that you were at the bottom, but I didn’t want you to be, that’s why I told you about the “majority” because I really did trust you. I told you pretty much everything that was going on in that tribe because you were the only person I really really did trust on Magyi.

We make merge and I’m terrified. I voted in the minority on the previous vote and I went to you alone and afraid. You were there for me. You were there for me whenever I was sad, whenever I needed someone, whenever I needed a friend. I did pretty much everything we talked about. Voting Stevie, Mearl, Tommy, Dom, Crow, SId. We agreed that Mearl had to go after he betrayed me and our trust. You knew I loved Tommy, how he was a friend of mine, and how I was conflicted about that vote. But I vote out Tommy, because of YOU, I told the Cutthropes about the minorities’ plans because of YOU, pretty much everything I did in this game was because of YOU. I told you about Dustin’s idol, I got Tommy, Crow, and Dom to vote for Zack instead of you because I didn;t want you to go in case something went wrong or I decided to go with them, I told you about basically everything that could have a relevance to us and our games. At final 5, Zack makes me promise not to tell ANYBODY but I immediately tell you what happened. And that’s because you were my number one, my ally, my comrade, my best friend. I tell my friend everything, and at the F4 she said it might be smart to take you out as the biggest threat. I shut her down so fast, you’ve been my closest ally in this whole game, you said you were going to play your idol on me at the F5, I thought you had my back 100%, you were realistically my only chance at survival, and I really thought you would tie it for me. People told me how you couldn’t be trusted, how I had to vote you out, but I didn’t want to believe them, I thought that that’s not the Amir that I’ve gotten to know, I know he has my back and is looking out for me. Turns out, I was wrong. I would have been okay if you had at least told me you were voting me out. But you didn’t, you said “I’m voting Dustin right the fuck now,” And now everything just feels fake. Our alliance feels fake. Our relationship feels fake. You seem...fake.

 Did I debate cutting you at F3 if I had the chance? Yes. Was it realistic? Knowing me, no.  I would have been fine losing to you in the F2, I probably would have taken you to the F2 because I don’t give a fuck, I wanted to guarantee one of us winning. Can I say that now? Honestly, I’m not sure. Do I sound like a hypocrite? Yes. Do I care? Not really. You probably thought if you voted me out I would be a vote for you, and you probably will be right.

You won two challenges this season. Congrats. Let’s see if you can win one last one.

https://68.media.tumblr.com/4499cf271ad1d05d805952c43166a151/tumblr_o5nssqyw9D1v9j7mmo4_250.gif

I am you, you are the ketchup bottle, your lies were the ketchup.

You’re doing the #WasteHerTime2017 Challenge, inspired by a queen. I would like you to analyze ALL of our conversations and post the messages where you wasted my damn time, where you told me bullshit, where you were being fake. I want timestamps, I want receipts. You can write and include anything you would like about the messages you post.

I also want you to be honest with me. Tell me the things you hate about me, the things that annoy you about me, that piss you off. I can tell there were times you were mad at me and I want you to be upfront about it.

I say all of this with very harsh love, because at the end of the day, I do love you. I do want to be friends. But that does not guarantee you my vote.

Good luck,

From Booboo the fool.

Okay this is the first question we got and its the last one im answering. I basically wrote an entire draft of this question doing what you told me and structuring this answer and you know what im not sending that. Im going to just go into a headspace where i can be genuine with you, and im going to type out how i feel, and them im not going to reread this answer, im not going to edit it, im just gonna send it. Rob, im not fake. Our friendship was not fake. I care about you so much as a friend, maybe to you my actions in the game didnt reflect that and i don't even know where to start. Your friendship meant a lot to me, and im not ignorant to the fact that i could not have made it this far in the game without you. You were extremely loyal and i felt like had someone who was truly looking out for me. Rob i was so loyal to you for almost the entire game and multiple times i did have the intention of taking you to the end completely, but when final 4 hit, i struggled so fuck hard rob i really really struggled. I told you i was going to tie it and i planned on it but it was all because of how much i cared about you but in the back of my mind i knew it was a bad move, i knew it was a final 3 and id be pissing off the 2 people that id go to final 3 with, and it would mean that id be solidifying my position as a 3rd place for the second time in a row. I really really had to seperate game and emotion and while that my biggest strength, i absolutely hate the fact that i hurt you, rob idk what else to say to you i cant make you believe me but i was there for you through everything. I was never someone who tried to make you dependant on me, whenever you brought up your problems i only ever told you that you were a smart guy who deserves self confidence, i always tried to help being a happier person and to truly love yourself and see yourelf as a the kind person we all see you as in this game. This answer is getting long af but so was your question so imma just keep but rambling. Rob theres nothing that i hate about you. I delete the first draft of my answer because im not supporting your self destructive question, its a way to hurt me and way to hurt yourself and it completely takes anything fun out of this game. As someone whos preached self love to you, im not going to do what you said and make you hate yourself or hurt your feelings over a jury vote. If you don't wanna vote for me for not exposing your personal messages and being mean you, then don't vote for me. And id be completely lying because i have nothing ill to say about you. Okay, thats all, im sorry, i really really hope you forgive me

Okay! So.. I guess it’s no secret now that yes, I did in fact give Rob my idol to play on himself at final 5. I felt bad because we all attacked him in the immunity challenge and I thought Abel’s idol was actually real so I wanted to give him a fair chance to compete in a fire making challenge and see who really wanted to be here. I didn’t have any intensions on Abel to leave but that is just how the cookie crumbled and I don’t regret doing this for Rob.

Now let me describe my relationship with the jury. I’m gonna be nothing but honest here.

Luke. I’ve known Luke for a little while now and I actually played my first ORG with him. We both just played Switzerland together and believe it or not, we actually worked together. Like I said in my rights of passage, I had all intensions on working with Luke in this game but, shit happens! Looking back now, I think Luke leaving actually benefited my game. There was so much talk about a Switzerland alliance (which was not real but I did want to start one since people already thought there was one) so when people saw that we actually voted against each other, I think that opened people’s eyes that wow, okay, this is actually a whole different game and just because of past relationships, anything can happen. I personally love Luke and love that he like’s all my Facebook/ IG post. A real hunt owo.

Stevie. I’ve played past games with Stevie and.. We never really clicked. We’re both completely opposite people with different interest. We never worked together so I pretty much assumed it would be the same in this game. I tried talking to Stevie and tried connecting with him but the only thing we connected about were bears. But… I’m not complaining! That being said, I respect Stevie and would love to get to know him outside of the game, but in the game, we never worked together and never were going to work together because I couldn’t see myself trusting him after he tried to blindside me. But I’d love to get to know more about him and talk more about bears.

Mearl. Mearl is someone that I knew nothing about. I had no past relationship with him so I needed to start a relationship with him from the start. We would talk from time to time but it would jus be the basic game talk. Like “have you heard anything about the vote?” “Oh I heard so and so say this.” But I was very careful with what I told Mearl because I was petrified of him. Going on the Great Lakes wiki and seeing that he won almost every single challenge, I knew he would be competition. I didn’t want him on my bad side at all because I also feared he had an idol. So I would just do my friendly talks with him without giving out any game information and I was thrilled to see he added me in his majority alliance because I feared being on his radar so bad. I respect Mearl so much as a game player.

Tommy. Knowing nothing about Tommy and hearing people talk about how ‘Cutthroat’ is he actually has been in other games, scared me. I would try to talk to Tommy as much as possible, but it was hard. It was so hard to connect with Tommy. Nothing against him, it’s just, we’re totally different people with not much in common. Tommy can talk for hours and I’m more of a person to just have one daily normal conversation a day. I knew Tommy was targeting me for multiple rounds so when we did talk, I would always try to be very careful at what game talk I would actually say without revealing anything. I slipped up a couple of times though but I backtracked and saved myself. Hopefully Tommy and I can talk after this game and clear everything up that really happened.

Crow. Crow helped my game so much. Without him, I may not even be here. He stuck his neck out for me without even knowing who I was so when Crow left, it was definitely hard. I get Crow is mad right now but I respect him so much as a person and a game player and everything I said to him after he tried to vote me out was just a joke and I meant nothing by it. Crow is someone I would 100% want to be friends with outside of this game.

Sid. I knew a little bit about Sid from what other people told me and I realized he’s actually very trust worthy. I wanted to be on the same tribe as him and when we weren’t, I was so glad to see him surviving Tribals because I knew we could both benefit off of each other. I was super happy when we made merge together and I’m even happier that we developed a friendship out of this game. We both helped each other’s game’s in different ways and I respect him so much. If Sid got to the end, he would be a huge competition to beat and that’s why he had to go when he did. Nothing but respect.

Abel. Rob, like you said, a lot of the cast was leaked. Abel and I applied together and we were both so fucking happy and excited to play together, again. We both just played Switzerland and when we actually started the game we realized how fucking hard this is going to be because it was no secret how close us 2 were in that game. I always saw myself protecting him and I always saw him protecting me. We would both tell each other all the information we had and go on from there. Not only was it nice having a great ally in the game, but it was nice to have a friend in the game that I could talk to about anything, not just game talk. He really did keep me sane.

Rob. I would say our relationship is very.. Odd. We rarely talked but we both saved each other. I think I had no choice but to give you my idol because you voted in my favor so many times when you could have taken me out. Honestly, thank you. I knew from what people were telling me that you actually liked me and I actually really liked you and I never would bring up your name. i don’t regret doing what I did for you and I hope you don’t regret helping me out in this game. You’re such a nice kid with a great personality and I respect you so much that I couldn’t lie to you. I really hope we can start some kind of friendship outside of this game.

Dustin. DADDY!!! I was so glad to see Dustin was playing this game. For some reason, we just clicked from day 1. For me, day 1, it was game time. Dustin and I were talking and giving each other information from the very start. I’m so happy and grateful that I got to actually officially meet him and play with him. He helped my game and I would like to say, I did the same for him. Dustin was such a great ally and I love him so fucking much. He’s someone I can say I became really good friends with inside of this game.

Amir. Ahhh! I never actually thought me and Amir would make Final 2 together. Coming into this game, Amir and I had some bad blood. But we both put that aside and knew we could really help each other in  this game and make it far. We were called out day 1 for knowing each other and being friends so I can honestly say I’m shocked we’re sitting in the finals together. I love him so much.

Thanks for your question, Rob, I actually really enjoyed typing this. ;~)

OK, and with that it is now time for our Jury to vote! Jurors, you will be tasked in voting to decide Tumblr Survivor’s 56th winner. Please decide carefully. Your votes are due to your host chat by August 18th @ 8:00 PM EST.