#making dan Weird is honestly my favourite thing

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Reacting to my TERRIBLE Acting

Name change won't stop me from continuing my favourite series of tumblr posts!

- Starting with"acting, is one skill I don't have" is indeed a mood because same! I am decent on a stage, but horrible on camera.

- HE PICKED GERMAN AWWW and he liked it?! This is a first cause usually people hate on the language. He has weirdly good pronunciation for an English speaker, because native english speakers really struggle with german.

- Wait golden pig is a piggy bank?? I should have known but somehow I am surprised.

- Thank you for giving us all the unknown lore because I did not know that Phil was in half of these.

- Anything he does with Dan is just rated higher, I love that.

- He is just making fun of himself the entire time I love that, you got to stop taking yourself so serious and just have fun and Phil has embraced that.

- PJ MAKING THEM PLAY HUSBAND AND WIFE IS ICONIC THANK YOU PJ

- The fact the first one where he said he was in his element was the one where he acted with Dan and they played husband and wife, not thinking about it.

- Dan heyyyyy babe. Him fully being traumatised by this to the point Phil isn't allowed to bring it up is hilarious to me, but I feel for you.

- "We are brothers" "You're adopted" Okay pack it up that's weird.

- I only recently discovered this clip through twitter and honestly I understand why Dan feels haunted by this.

- Dan just wanting to leave and alternatively yapping again and Phil zoning out, husband behaviour off the charts.

- Stop Dan hiding in his shirt is ADORABLE and like you can tell he is the younger one out of the two of them and those are always my favourite moments. Something about him looking younger, looking up to Phil does things to me.

- OH MY GOD the whole sequence of Dan just cussing Phil out and Phil giggling uncontrollably is my new favourite clip.

- Is it good? No but under the circumstances I do think it was better than what I would have been able to do!

- Even when Dan is mad he smiles so big his dimples are popping out and that's why I think he's just a big softie, case closed.

[daggerzine]

Interview with James Dickson of The Chills! (by Matthew Kenneth)

Interview with James Dickson 8/8, 8/9 2024  James Dickson was in The Chills (Keyboards: ‘99-’05, bass: ‘05-’18)  

MK: So how did you joining The Chills come about? When was that? You were on keyboards first, correct? 

JD: I saw Martin during a party I was performing at early in 1999 - chatted to him briefly outside which he didn’t seem to recall later. Months later I saw him pass by the piano shop I was working at in south Dunedin - I went out and caught up with him, reminded him that I was available if he ever needed a guitar player, bassist or keyboard player.  He said actually yes as he’d been asked by Neil Finn if he could perform at a New Year's concert in Auckland. At this time Todd and Rodney had just recently joined but were yet to do a show. 

MK: How familiar were you with him, with his music. Had you seen them play before then? 1999 would have been not long after a long string of successive LPs. A few years after Sunburnt. Assuming there was an age difference, did you see things change dramatically in Dunedin, in NZ or were you too young maybe then to have seen the early days of the scene and the changes that occurred (if any). 

JD: I was a big fan of Submarine Bells (introduced to it by my older brother) but had been in Dunedin only a few years at that point.I was 12 years younger. I had seen that he was in the lowlands and wanted to join up to help him get cracking. 

MK: Like, down. Emotionally etc. 

JD: Well yes, in a musical sense.  But for instance, a chap in the band I was in said to me that I shouldn’t join as “Martin is a junkie”. So I quit that band and joined The Chills to help Martin in whatever way I could. 

MK: So you joined. With a gig already looming. NYE. 

JD: 20 songs to learn in three months I recall. 

MK: Doable  

JD: Some practices he bailed out on which ramped up the pressure. 

MK: On keys? I would assume it being a local crowd,  no pressure to play "the hits". 

JD: Yeah. Always had to play "Leather Jacket" and "Pink Frost." Almost every single show I’m fairly sure. 

MK: Lost EP and Brave Words era? How did rehearsals go? 

JD: Yes, four from Brave Words and at a few shows we performed "Whole Weird World." Rehearsals were great for me at any rate. They went well for the most part. 

MK: Were you learning keyboard parts that had already been established? Andrew Todd, Peter Allison.. 

JD: Yes, some were challenging like "Efflorescence and Deliquesce."  Many I wrote parts for. 

MK: Favorite song to play? 

JD: "Dan Destiny and the Silver Dawn" 

MK: How frequently did the band play after that? 

JD: Infrequent for a bit though we rehearsed regularly. (Sends me complete compiled setlists)  

MK: How were shows received in the early 2000s? Tours? When did you switch to bass? 

JD: Happy and impressed crowds for the most part. Some were diabolical due to Martin being sick. 

MK: When/how did the switch come about? To bass I mean. 

JD: December 3rd 2005 was my first show on bass. At Emerson’s brewery in Dunedin.  We were a three piece for a while. I had let Rodney go because I was tired of not hearing what I wanted to hear on bass and he was disinterested in general. 

MK: Was there not a lot of new material in the 2000s?  

JD: Kinda had to coax it out of him. He was on autopilot. Once I got on bass it was different. 

MK: Did you help write/arrange from 2005? 

JD: Yes, and also before. 

MK: It must've been exciting touring for SB's. New songs, new record, North America etc .

JD: Making the album was very rewarding for me. It’s my favourite thing. 

MK: What was your working relationship like? Friends? Were you close?  

JD: Close friends, we talked honestly together about many difficult things. 

MK: As a fan, I always felt that in his lyrics or in the subtext that he struggled with stuff. So many lyrics where he sounded like he felt like he was alone. 

JD: I believe he struggled to feel connected. I took a phone call from Martin at 2am a few months back. I’m grateful that I was awake to talk and be true to my claim “you can call me anytime you’re struggling”  

MK: So how long did it take to record Silver Bullets? 

JD: Maybe twenty days or something like that I think? 

MK: So you were his principal songwriting partner. 

JD: I would say so but not too loudly because I wouldn’t want folks to think I was being attention seeking or anything like that. 

MK: Lyrics too? 

JD: Only in the smallest way. Little ideas or changing words - stuff like that. 

MK: Was there a concerted effort to make these new Chills songs fit into the larger historical Chills story.  

JD: Martin was keen to explore new ideas and happy for the songs to sound 21st century. 

MK: I think despite the newness, there was still The Chills stamp on it. 

JD: I personally would describe that as his unique vocals and lyrics + magic reverb guitar lines and unusual chord progressions. 

MK: Without having looked too closely at the tours database to see how often you came to the states/north America in those 20 yrs I would assume this tour felt special. 

JD: Most definitely, it meant a lot to us and Martin in particular. The last shows he had in the USA previously were bad memories he hoped to alter by way of this tour. He felt he had addressed those bad memories in the way hoped by replacing them with warm happy new ones. 

MK: Lack of attendance? Poor promotion? 

JD: Hmm, no - more like troubles behind the scenes. 

MK: But the SBs tour went better? 

JD Absolutely, he felt he had addressed those bad memories in the way he hoped by replacing them with warm, happy, new ones. 

MK: He seemed happy. Based on the show I saw and followed him on social media. 

Interview concluded as James was occupied with mourning the loss of his friend and Martin’s funeral etc. Thank you, James, for your time and candid and warm words. Much appreciated.

www.firerecords.com

[diovstheworld]

Agents of Dio and Babysitting

my headcanons for dio’s agents and how i imagine they would be baby sitting dio’s sons. also i didn’t include all the agents so sorry if i missed out anyone’s fave :( i mostly included my fave agents along with some others. okay on with the post! (also p.s. sorry these slowly get worse as the post goes on lmao)

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Rubber Soul:

okay sorry but he would be very irresponsible in my opinion 😭

he would probably be a fun babysitter though! loves playing games with dio’s sons

even though he’s not very responsible, he’s very good with the kids

his favourite of the 4 is rikiel and giorno, mainly because they cause him the least amount of trouble lmao

his favourite thing to do to keep the kids occupied is playing hide and seek with them

and he will read to them at bed time. though he’s normally sending himself to sleep while sending the kids to sleep

Mariah:

i think she would hate kids BUT i think she would be really good with them

honestly it’s her worst nightmare when she’s left to babysit dio’s sons

the thought of having to deal with them and clean up after them makes her sick to be honest (me too girl)

claims she couldn’t care less if something happened to the kids but she pays attention to them when she has to because she doesn’t want to actually face the consequences from dio if something does happen to the kids

normally ends up getting midler to come over and help her out with taking care of the kids

but mostly just calls her over to help deal with sick and other messes the kids have left in their diapers or the potty or even on the floor

her favourite son is also rikiel and giorno for sure for the same reasons as rubber

Steely Dan:

awful with kids so he’s not asked to babysit very often lmao

actually doesn’t even like kids either and is just all round bad with kids

also hates the thought of cleaning up after the kids and refuses to touch any messes they make and just like mariah, gets midler to come and deal with it

when he does baby sit dio’s kids, he never actually watches them to make sure they’re not getting into trouble or doing something they shouldn’t be lmao

honestly, the kids get away with so much when he’s babysitting because he simply doesn’t care

there’s definitely been some bones broken when dan has been babysitting

his favourite of dio’s sons is unaglo because he’s normally doing some weird or bad thing he shouldn’t be doing but it makes dan laugh

Daniel D’Arby:

really good with kids actually and is probably one of the more reliable agents for babysitting

mostly because he had to look after his brother a lot when they were younger so he’s used to looking after them and keeping them busy and calm

plays card games with the kids even though they’re tiny lmao

and still cheats when he plays against them too, no one is safe lmaooo

though giorno picked up some tips and tricks which have been useful in the future working in passione

his favourite of the kids is giorno for this reason as he’s always paying close attention in the card games played

but he’s always keeping a close eye on the kids to make sure they’re all well and doing okay

his favourite activity to do with the kids is play card games or just in general likes to play board games with the kids

Terence D’Arby:

also pretty good at babysitting! normally one of the ones who dio almost always asks alongside vanilla ice

dio’s kids often end up falling asleep on his knee while he’s playing video games :,) they’re always amused by all the colours and sounds going on

he lets the kids have a go at the video games and he always loves seeing how happy it makes them :)

always making sure the kids are well fed and well hydrated

he’s pretty much drawing on his experiences of what he can remember of daniel babysitting him as a kid lmao

his favourite of the kids is also rikiel and giorno because they don’t cause him much trouble very often

he’s not really good at giving the kids into trouble when they do do something wrong which leaves them to take the piss out of him a lot lmaooooo

Hol Horse:

i feel like he doesn’t mind babysitting dio’s kids but he’s also not the most responsible of the group lmao

i also feel like even though he’s not responsible, he’s actually really good with kids

the kids like him for the most part so they actually behave without him having to do very much

he plays games like hide and seek and such with the kids to make sure they’re well entertained

and also does it to try and tire the kids out so they go and nap lmaooo

again, unaglo is his favourite because he’s always doing stupid stuff that makes him laugh

Vanilla Ice:

the most reliable baby sitter out of all of the agents honestly

takes care of dio’s sons like they are his own kids

actually feeding them their meals and such when required

gives them healthy snacks for sure

his favourite activity is drawing and colouring in with the kids

his favourite child is giorno for sure since he’s so easy to look after and his least favourite is donatello since he can be so stubborn. he often finds it hard to control donatello lmaooo

Midler:

she’s not too bad of a babysitter either to be honest

she isn’t a big fan of kids either but at the same time, they don’t bother her to the extent that mariah and dan are bothered

because of this, she normally ends up turning up to help the two out

it’s always chaotic when she has to go and help the others lmao

she really just does what she does to look after them and is just generally good at taking care of them

makes sure they’re kept occupied so that they don’t cause any hassle or hurt themselves (unlike dan)

doesn’t have a favourite or least favourite kid but she does often get annoyed by don and unaglo for either arguing, or causing chaos

she enjoys drawing pictures for the kids to colour in when they don’t have any colouring books on hand :)

[lixenn]

Hiiiiii~!!! These questions are really fun but lemme try to not overwhelm you lmao and give everyone else a chance to ask questions! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

For Chief:

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?", "Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?" and "What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

for Cilmi:

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?", "What element best represents your character?" and "Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?" [I'll probably send more Cilmi asks later. ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )]

Momooo!! Decided to clean up my inbox a bit, so it's time go get you some answers, luv! Thank you for your patience 🙏🥺💜✨

Chief

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?"

I actually answered this question here. It took me a bit to find it because I didn't tag it correctly (thanks for that past!Lix) but digging through the archive got me a hit 🫡

"Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?"

The only change Chief went through is me giving him grey hair I think. Dan is actually not that old at least compared to other OCs I've read about here, he only really became a thing after I started posting the first few chapters of the Guide in March. I had some Guide chapters written down for ages in my phone notes but never posted thim until I went fuck it, but in my notes the one writing the Guide... was just supposed to be some guy lmao I never intended for the narrator to become an OC but it ended up happening anyways and I'm so happy for it.

"What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

Chief has a special fondness for Carbonara. His Mum made it regularly when he was a kid and it' still one of his favourite meals. (But only when his Mum makes it, everyone else just messes it up <- not really Chief is just nitpicky as hell).

Cilmi

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?"

You already know because I needed your help to pick but for everyone else: Cilmi considers bajiya a treat! He doesn't really get traditional food when he's at the Varia compound unless he makes it himself (which he often doesn't like to bother with) so he looks forward to eating it when he visits his family.

"What element best represents your character?"

I'm not quite sure what "element" means in this context since there are a lot of different definitions for this word. My science side wants to get out the periodic table but since there are a lot of elements on there (and I don't know the properties of most) I'm going to make my life easier and chose the ATLA route aka water, earth, fire and air.

Out of those four earth represents Cilmi best. He's steady, grounding, not easy to shake and firm in his beliefs. He's patient but if you hit the right spot he will erupt (seriously don't harm the books, it won't end well for you).

"Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?"

Okay this is difficult to answer because it varies. There are a lot of unusual things wandering around in the world and Cilmi is aware of all the craziness. He believes in ghost and spirits because he's seen them, he knows something weird is going on with the Castle itself and honestly the things that R & D can cook up are sometimes even more unbelievable than an actual myth, so he tends to give most stories a benefit of doubt. I wouldn't call this belief because... it's more clinical than that. Cilmi is first and foremost a scholar, so his interest in myth and fairy tales is mostly centered in collecting them for the archive, to store them for the future because these stories can tell a lot about the culture they came from.

[sga-owns-my-soul]

S T I C K for the ask game 😝

ask game

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

i have a lot lmao but my personal favourite is that ronon and woolsey are DEFINITELY married. have you seen them they are husbands and in love.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

elizabeth and steven are in love, atlantis is sentient, and john rodney and atlantis have a very weird three way relationship thing going on that no one else wants to even try to understand and you can pry these headcanons out of my cold dead hands

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

nope! not yet at least lmao i did leave tumblr in like... 2016ish partially because the phandom was getting insane but i didn't leave the fandom or stop like dan and phil (i met dan a few years ago!) and i don't think there's anything tumblr could do to make me stop liking stargate 😂😂

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

honestly i don't think any? i don't want to say there's anything i'll never ship because a good fic can convince me of a lot. i would say mckeller, but i liked them when i was a kid so i can't say i've never liked them. idk, shipping is fun and i like enjoying lots of different ships

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

okay so i read this question and my brain IMMEDIATELY started screaming about rodney mckay so. him lmao he just!!!! he comes so far and i'm so proud of him because he tries so so hard!!! and it's just, it's so insane to me if you look at the difference between rodney at the start of the series versus the end of the series. and how quickly the changes start!!! like in the first few episodes of atlantis you can already see such huge changes in his behaviour because he finally has people who actually believe in him!! who actually care and are actually giving him a chance!!! god i just. fuck i love rodney mckay so so much i literally could talk about him forever

[gloomygalleon]

I wish I could do a "read more" on mobile but sadly I'm not about to fuck around with that. It's not like anyone important reads these. I just wish I had an online journal somewhere.

I'm officially on tattooing hiatus. I wish people could afford to get tattooed more but honestly not stressing about paying two separate rents (home + studio) is an enormous weight off my shoulders. I'm sad to be leaving the girls but I'm also excited to see where I go next.

Meanwhile Kristin is on job #3. She's gone from funemployed to a big girl job plus her barista jobs. I'm guessing it'll just be the one barista job on the weekends though. It's so bizarre how I'm sad to be leaving tattooing and yet I'm also happy for her and proud of her.

I'm staying the night at a friends because why not? Now that I have a lot less stress on me I feel much better mentally to maintain my relationships and I'm excited to go out and do things again. We're gonna do my nails hehehe.

I should write a to do list for the weeks that I'm off work and be as productive as I can. I wanna exercise and go for walks more. This is my favourite time of year to go for a hike!! I also wanna make more crafts. I made an ugly angel and I love her so much I wonder if I can add a photo

omg I figured it out also I added pics of Lima so one day when I look back on this I'll think she was small in the second photo too. it's so weird not sleeping next to my wife and cats tonight but I'm gonna appreciate seeing them tomorrow even more. I want Chinese food tomorrow.

Here are ten million zillion photos and I bid u goodnight, future dan

[elowenp]

Dan Powell is seven years old and if he’s certain of one thing it’s that he loves stories.

Not quite the same way as Mark. Mark prefers his words drenched in the mud and grit of the reality he thinks is true.

“Doesn’t it make the stories taste bad?” Dan asks, “Doesn’t it make them grind against your teeth and cut against your tongue?”

Mark just laughs. “I can stomach it. It’s way cooler than all that unreality fluff you like.”

Dan laughs but inside he’s frowning. The stories he likes are real. It’s just that what he counts as reality and what Mark does must be very different things.

Dan likes stories about odd things. He likes stories about monsters and cults and old, old gods. He likes weird. The stories don’t have to have a hero either, Dan is perfectly happy without a happy ending, just so long as there is an ending. When Dan starts a story leaving it unfinished has never been an option. When his parents read him bedtime stories, always a chapter at a time, he picks the book up once they leave and gets through as much as possible before passing out with the book falling wide open over his face.

Dan like stories and he likes endings and he likes weird. So when he overhears some people on the subway talking about the Visser Building and the odd happenings within, he can hardly not go searching for the endings of that tale.

The next day he walks down seedier streets than any seven year old should really be walking down to get to the Visser Building. He wonders if it’s odd that he didn’t need to look at any maps before coming here. It’s probably normal, he decides, I’m just good at finding odd things.

Dan is good at finding all the stories at the school library that probably shouldn’t be available to children as young as him and no one finds that strange. This is just more of the same.

As he walks into the Visser Building an overwhelming feeling of rightness comes over Dan. This is where you’re meant to be, it whispers, stay here forever and all will be right, right, right, it sings. Dan thinks the whispers make a very good point but he has to be home for dinner otherwise his parents will worry. So he won’t stay. This time.

He walks through the corridors. Some of them feel like mazes. Some of them tilt downwards so harshly that they feel like slides. All of them are new and interesting and definitely full of stories. Dan turns on the tape recorder he stole from his Dad. Mark is always going on about how a journalist needs a good record of everything that happens and this feels like the sort of story Dan is going to need to replay to fully understand.

“This is Dan Powell recording.” he says into it, trying to sound as serious and adult as he can. There isn’t really anything else for him to say after that since all the things he’s feeling are too new and unexplainable to put words to so he just lets the tape recorder go. The whirring of it is nice background noise and Dan likes the way the machine feels in his hand. Almost as if it’s a part of his hand.

Something about that thought may be significant, but before Dan can examine it too thoroughly he’s rounding a corner and face to face with a woman about to knock on a door and holding a tape recorder just like his own.

She looks surprised to see Dan. As if Dan isn’t meant to be there. Dan thinks this is a bit unfair as the woman’s presence doesn’t sing to him like the rest of the building does so she definitely isn’t meant to be there. She looks like she’s nice though and she hasn’t shouted at Dan for trespassing yet so Dan doesn’t say that. He just stands there, listening attentively to the twin whirring of two tape recorders.

“Hello,” the woman says after a moment, cautious. “I’m Melody Pendras, do you live here?”

“No. I’m Dan Powell.” Dan holds his hand out for Melody to shake since he’s sure that’s what he’s meant to do. Melody smiles as if this is a little funny but bends down and shakes Dan’s hand seriously enough that he forgives her.

“Then why are you here?”

Dan frowns. “The same reason as you.” He gestures towards her tape recorder. “I want to know the story.”

Melody starts frowning as well. “That’s a very dangerous thing to want.” she says.

“I know. It’s okay though. Getting to the end is worth it.”

Dan feels Melody re-evaluate her opinion of him. He feels the way her eyes land on him shift until it’s a lot more like how she looks at the rest of this strange, strange building. “I think you would fit in here very well.”

Dan nods in agreement. “Thanks. You wouldn’t.”

Melody laughs lightly. “I hope you’ll forgive me for finding that to be a good thing.” Dan shrugs. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a bad thing. It just is. “I need to get back to work but it was nice to meet you, Dan.”

“It was nice to meet you too, Melody. I hope your story doesn’t end badly.”

Melody looks at Dan very oddly but before she can say anything the door she had been stood in front of swings open and she becomes too caught up in greeting the occupant to notice Dan fading back into the shadows of the Visser Building.

~

Dan ends up having to leave to get home for dinner before finding anything else important. Then he has a playdate with Mark the next day. Then he goes to his school’s very small creative writing club the day after that. Then there’s a disciplinary meeting between his parents and his teacher about the somewhat disturbing story he wrote and Dan gets grounded for the rest of the week.

When Dan finally gets a chance to return to the Visser Building all that’s left is rubble and the odd blood splatter and something else.

The something else is calling to him. The whirring, crackling, spinning of a tape recorder with nothing left to record is loud in his ears despite the fact he know no one else can hear it. His hands are too small and his body too weak to lift the rubble but he aches to do so.

“You lost, kid?” a voice asks from behind Dan. He turns to see a woman who definitely doesn’t care if Dan is lost or not.

“No.” Dan pauses so that he doesn’t sound too demanding or rude. Then, “Can I have the tapes?”

The woman’s eyes narrow and Dan is struck by how unlike Melody she looks. Melody had a kind face, all arranged in the most welcoming shape. The whole time this woman has been looking at Dan she’s kept her face twisted into something mildly disgusted.

“What tapes are these?”

Dan points to the rubble. “The ones in there. They have a story on them, I need to know how it ends.”

“Huh.” the woman says, looking at Dan like an artefact in a museum. “If you were a little older I would know a lot of people who would be interested in employing you.” She tilts her head to the side as if considering Dan. “Do you like cities?”

Dan hasn’t thought on it much before but the concept of living anywhere less full of stories than New York kind of makes him want to tear his skin off. “Yes.”

The woman’s eyes gleam with interest. “Do you have friends?”

Dan thinks to how Mark can make him laugh hard enough to snort milk out his nose and yesterday he fixed the plaster on Mark’s knee just right when the school nurse did it wrong. “Yes.”

The interest in the woman’s eyes dulls a little. “A pity. Still, far more useful than most people will ever be.” She reaches into a pocket and pulls out a card with the letters LMG on it and a phone number. “My name is Iris Vos. Once you’re old enough to be useful, maybe get a degree or something, call this number and tell them that I sent you.” She turns away from Dan a little. “That should give me some credit with the bastards.” she mutters to herself.

Dan looks down at the card. It’s in pristine condition, just like he supposes everything of Miss Vos’s must be. The numbers have an odd shine to them though and Dan finds himself wondering if there might be something interesting there. “Thank you for the opportunity.” he says, because he’s certain that someone said that after receiving a job offer in one of the TV shows his dad watches. Miss Vos nods so Dan guesses he probably said the right words and she walks off towards people in suits holding official looking clipboards.

Dan wants to know how this story ends. He needs to know how this story ends. The curiosity burns in his stomach like acid and fire and hatred and wonder and Dan isn’t sure how many years he can last before it finds a way to destroy him. He’s always loved endings after all, perhaps a little too much.

So Dan tucks the card very carefully into his pocket and spends a moment hoping fervently that one day he’ll be old enough to be useful.

[being-of-rain]

Lots of my spoilery thoughts on The Power of the Doctor! It was jam packed episode so there was a lot of things to have opinions on!

Overall, it was fun! A big action-packed blockbuster filled with cameos and fan-service, and that’s the most I was hoping for really! For me it was easily better than all of Thirteen’s season finales, and both of Sacha Dhawan’s other appearances as the Master. It feels like the plot held together better than usual too, mostly because basically all the nonsensical parts of the plot can be explained as ‘The Master did it for fun and laughs,’ which is entirely believable with this incarnation. I’ve always enjoyed Chibnall’s fun runarounds (eg. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship) more than any other Doctor Who eps he’s tried, and that fits with this ep, which really feels like a celebration. That makes sense since it’s the centenary special, something that I kept forgetting about after I had something else to call it because I just don’t care about the BBC itself jslkjsdfj.

Honestly, when I first heard the rumours that the Doctor was regenerating into David Tennant at the end I was like ‘I wouldn’t like that if it happened’- but because the rest of the ep felt like a cameo-filled madcap celebration, it actually didn’t feel out of place at all! I disagree with people who say the scene undercut Whittaker leaving (because to me it felt more at home than most other post-regeneration scenes do in their eps) or Gatwa arriving (because if he gets more than a 30 second filler scene in the coming special, it’ll be technically more of an introduction than any other new Doctor). But I can understand people not liking it from the point of view of Tennant just being brought back for the PR, or that he’s going to attract all the worst kind of fans. I’m just lucky that I have an easy time ignoring those type of people I guess.

What with all the cameos and returning characters, I was surprised to see that most of them got substantial things to do! Chibnall or someone else must have taken note of how bad that issue got in The Vanquishers. I’ve seen people say that the Cybermen attacking UNIT plot wasn’t necessary, but it made sense to me, and was positively vital compared to a lot of the plots in the last third of Flux. Though I can’t believe Dan got written out 10 minutes in, presumably to help avoid the problem of too many characters?? Can’t think of any other coherent reason to do that. He’s hasn’t done much or had much plot his entire time as companion and this was the funniest possible way to have him leave. I laughed when I started a rewatch and saw John Bishop get one of the top billings in the opening titles.

The only person who really badly fell victim to the unnecessary character syndrome was Vinder, who also had the least reason to be anywhere near this episode. He’s one of my favourite minor characters from the era so I was happy to see him, but literally the only thing he does is threaten to shoot the Master because he isn’t the Doctor’s companion so he’s allowed to. The most hilarious thing is that this is the one and only Thirteen episode that the Doctor explicitly gives a companion permission to use a gun, for exactly the reason Vinder uses it. And Yaz was right there. No one tell Vinder, he’ll be crushed. In any case, Vinder also gave Thirteen an excuse to put a welding goggles on, so he’s excused.

I was sad that Bel only got the smallest possible reference, since she was such an important part of Vinder’s character in Flux and I love her too. And even more so with Ryan Sinclair (who’s still probably my favourite of Thirteen’s companions)! Felt so weird that he was missing while all of Thirteen’s other companions were there- I hope it was because his actor couldn’t/didn’t want to, because if I found out Chibnall arbitrarily just didn’t want to include him I’ll be mad. Grace O’Brien didn’t get a reference either, which wasn’t strictly necessary but did irritate my liking of bookends in a series, considering she was such a huge part of Thirteen’s first episode.

But I did love who did return. Graham and the Martin Doctor got the biggest cheers from my brother and I while watching the episode, I was so hoping they would make an appearance. Shame that it was an AI Doctor rather than the real thing, but it was still an absolute joy to see her appear for what I assume was the most amount of time since her first episode (which is still a massive highlight of Thirteen’s era).

When the AI Doctors turned up I did worry it was going to be The Vanquishers all over again, but they worked really well as simple plot propellant and fan service with Tegan and Ace rather than completely overshadowing everyone. Weirdly the Five and Tegan conversation touched me a lot more than the Seven and Ace conversation, even though the latter is a relationship that means more to me (although Seven referring to Ace as his child was so touching). It was maybe because of the episode aggressively ignoring all EU (surprisingly even the SJA retcon of Ace running a charity, which doesn’t get a mention), which I saw coming and didn’t really bother me, but still made the Ace and Doctor relationship a bit less meaningful to me when they have SO much more history in whichever branch of the EU you want to accept. Also so many authors seem determined to say that Seven and Ace left on bad terms huh. I think they liked each other actually, and Ace went to Gallifrey with good memories.

The plot itself of the episode was great fun! Can’t wait to see all the Game of Rassilon fans to say that their podcast did it first, which is very fair jsdlkjf. So much of the plot seemed to be solely devoted to the Master getting to dance to the song Rasputin while dressed as Rasputin, and it was 100% worth it. Sacha Dhawan is just as fun as I could have hoped in this episode, and honestly steals the show. Him becoming the Doctor was a wonderful plan fit for a final episode like this, was executed very well, and given so much delicious flavour by the Master’s line “don’t let me go back to being me.” Plus I saw someone point out that it’s basically just the Master’s plan from the TV movie, which I’m always here for. And the “dress for the occasion” reference was icing on the cake. (Although here’s a nittiest of nitpicks: the Master described forced regeneration as “the ultimate sanction for breaking our laws,” when it clearly wasn’t. When they did it to the Doctor, it was after the Doctor bargained them down, and in the same episode they straight up erase some dudes’ timelines.)

Unfortunately the final showdown and mortal wounding of the Thirteenth Doctor was one of the episode’s weakest scenes imo with lots of missed potential. The quaranx is a generic mcguffin depicted as an unremarkable CGI light ball, and could’ve been so much more. Sounds like a lot of people including me drew a link between its child form and the Timeless Child- why didn’t it stay in its child form later to reinforce that link, which was a heck of a lot more visually striking anyway. The Doctor telling the creature to destroy the cyber-moon, something it could’ve done all along, could’ve been so much better framed as the Doctor convincing a child to embrace their power or fight their fear. And the Master suddenly taking control of the random laser beam wasn’t built up to either, which feels like something that should’ve been established considering the Doctor dying is rather an important part of the episode. Think of the Doctor being mortally wounded because she wouldn’t give up trying to save a little girl, even though she knew the risks.

Anyway, a touching end to Thirteen’s Doctor. I can’t honestly say I was moved to tears by her departure; I always felt like Jodie Whittaker could’ve done more with better scripts, and the fact that she was avoiding confiding things in Yaz this episode shows she didn’t too much over her lifetime (I laughed Tegan being faced with that awkward repression, because her Doctor was exactly the same). Although Yaz and the Doctor being so upbeat and hopeful at the end felt like a great pay-off to all this Doctor’s talk of hope for the future, and probably added to the reason I wasn’t so sad myself. I’m similarly touched but not awfully upset over Yaz leaving, sorry jskldfj (her showing off her firearm training sure is one way to end her run of avoiding any police discourse during the late 2010s/early 2020s, thanks Dr Who). But it was emotional to see them both agree that it’s time for Yaz to leave, because continuing just wouldn’t be the same for either of them. It’s nice that all of Thirteen’s companions have left because the time is right, after the RTD and Moffat eras seeming to think that the only possible exit was tragedy.

Anything else? Obviously, seeing all the past Doctors was a real treat, and Seven and Eight bickering made everything worth it. Like I said, the episode felt like a celebration, and the next episode being part of the 60th anniversary makes it feel like the celebrations just keep going! Only thing I have to be bitter about is that the 50th anniversary was an emotional tale about restoring Gallifrey, and now we’re going into the 60th with it destroyed again (still easily the worst story decision in Thirteen’s era). And it’s a shame to wait a whole year for more Doctor Who, but I’m really hoping that after that the waits between seasons will become more regular.

[batfamcraze]

Maybe it's me but I think what I like most about Damian is how much I don't like him. You can tell DC Comics is going for a redemption arc for him and we're really beginning to see him grow into a good person and fine young man. And they're doing it right. They're showing his growth rather than telling us. Damian is still making mistakes and still is rather standoffish, but he's getting there.

He's the one you want to root for and he's hard to love but I'm so excited to see where they take him. So glad your blog is heavily dedicated to him. (And thanks for the follow too!)

Damian is my favourite Batkid and my favourite Robin. I like all of the Batkids fairly equally, but Damian is my #1 because his story and character is so appealing to me! (I also acknowledge DC's problematic treatment of him and the Al Ghul family at the same time of course)

I read Damian's comics when I was around 13 years old and I thought he was the coolest bitch. I loved that iconic introduction of him saying "Father, I imagined you taller." He's wished to meet his father his whole life and that's the first thing he says to him? Amazing.

While I understand that you like Damian and I agree with your statement, what a lot of people don’t know is that Damian’s current redemption arc in Robin (2021) already happened in Robin: Son of Batman (2016). 

In Robin: Son of Batman (2016), He leaves Gotham for a year to travel, and calls it his “Year of Atonement” (to atone for the crimes he’s committed), it's about Damian not wanting to kill people anymore and become a hero like his father is. (And I recommend you reading it honestly, it has such a strong hold to my heart!)

There are a few comics that include Damian’s redemption arc like Batman and Robin (2011) I think, and more that I'm probably forgetting. (I need to re-read Damian’s comics again honestly, because my memory is a little poor because of how long ago I read them lol!)

From what I remember in the New 52 continuity (It was the current canon at the time I read it, so, yeah I’ve been a Batfam fan for a LONG time lol), Damian was a solid member of the batfamily, and was a good hero/sidekick. At some point he stopped being an assassin and became a new addition to the family.

Now you ask: “So Damian already had a redemption arc, and they’re doing it again?”

And my answer is: “YES! That’s weird isn’t it? Congratulations! You accidentally discovered a problem I have with DC too!”

Please bear with me, I’m going to give context as to why Damian is going through another redemption arc, and share my thoughts on Robin (2021) under the cut lol:

The problem with Robin (2021) imo, is that Damian already went through a redemption arc. The reason why DC is doing it twice, is because DC’s ex-ceo Dan Didio (Whom I greatly detest, caused many problems with multiple DC characters), planned to turn Damian into DC’s newest and biggest villain for their canceled continuity that was planned after Rebirth, and to take place after the Dark Knights Metal event. The new failed continuity was going to be called 5G (Stands for Generation 5). It got cancelled because the executive team had disagreements with directions that multiple characters had, as well as hating the idea of a time jump that would be a part of it (Damian was apparently going to be 18!). You can read more about it here in Article 1 and Article 2. (There are multiple posts that could explain 5G better here on Tumblr but I hope I tried lol)

Didio is also to blame for DC having multiple continuities like New 52, Rebirth, etc. So if you're mad about DC being confusing and having their timelines restart frequently, blame it on this guy lol (Thank god he doesn’t work there anymore). Currently, we’re in the Infinite Frontier continuity, but it’s not actually a reboot like the past two so I let it slide ig, because Infinite Frontier is technically a continuation of Rebirth. (If I'm wrong about Infinite Frontier lmk, but my point still stands because I hate Didio for creating New 52 and Rebirth lol)

While 5G was in the works before it got cancelled and Didio got replaced by Jim Lee, Damian was in multiple comics that was going to explain his new path to villainy for 5G. His fallout with the Teen Titans he led in Teen Titans (2016) because he didn’t have faith in the justice system anymore, dealing with the trauma of Alfred’s death, attempting to kill KGBeast because of the attempted murder of Dick, Dick not remembering Damian and turning into Ric, were some of the reasons for his new path. (Source here and here)(I apologize if some details are wrong)

Because 5G was planning on making Damian a supervillain, DC wanted to give the Robin mantle back to Tim. (Despite Damian being Robin for about 15 years, which means Tim hasn’t been Robin for about the same length)

When 5G was cancelled, Williamson was then given Robin (2021) and he had to write Damian’s redemption arc, which is where we are now. If it weren’t for DC trying to change Damian’s story and ruin his character. *cough* *cough* racism. 

And the ideas they had for 5G that they didn’t want to throw away, gave us 5G’s leftovers known as Future State (2021), Death of the Justice League (2022), and the Batman comic with Tim as his Robin that recently got announced (writer Chip Zdarsky). Even though Bruce is supposed to “die” in Death of the justice League? ... 😐

*Apparently, James Tynion IV didn’t like 5G either, so he decided to write DC vs Vampires (2021) instead. Lol the more you know! ✨ (Source here)

To summarize: Tim was going to be be the new Robin for 5G, 5G gets cancelled, now we have both Tim and Damian run around as Robin in Infinite Frontier because of their failed attempts of changing Damian to a supervillain, and have Tim replace him. Now Damian is going through the same arc he already went through because of their idiotic decision. (Side note: If you were wondering why they’re both Robin currently, that's why!) 🙃

*This is not a hate post for Tim. I don't hate Tim, I actually like him! I’m pointing out the fact that DC is racist, and that they’ve been pushing Tim to be Robin recently, because he's white and he hasn’t been Robin for 15-ish years. Don’t misread this post please.

So... After all of that context (which was very much needed), I’m going to finally talk about Damian in Robin (2021) lol. 

First of all, I don't have a problem with Robin (2021), I don't fully hate it! There are a few parts that I like, the Lazarus Tournament was a pretty cool idea tbh and the writing is decent. But I don't think I can ever love it, because this comic is a reminder that it wouldn't exist if DC weren’t racist, and that Damian would be on the same path he was on before all of this bs. This comic has elements from Damian’s past comics that, imo, has been handled better.

I’m sorry if you like this comic and that I probably ruined it for you, but it’s completely fine to like this comic and still be aware of the sabotage he went through! If DC sees that Robin (2021) is successful, then they will surely regret their past actions and never attempt to give his villain arc a second try in the future (If DC tries again I will fight them)! I understand why someone would like Robin (2021) because non-Damian readers aren’t aware that he’s no longer that snotty brat that fanon thinks he is. Yea, Damian can be arrogant and childish, those are his flaws after all (and he’s still a child btw, and flaws are very much needed in a character. And I don't like flaw-less characters because they bore me lol), but he's WAY more toned down after Robin: Son of Batman (2016) and Batman and Robin (2011). Damian was already a developed good person before Robin (2021).

Without further ado, here are a few of my fav random panels of Dami’s past redemption arc that I love:

Damian's new friend Maya, helps him realize his potential to become a hero  💚♥️

Maya tells Damian that she forgives him for killing her father Morgan Ducard.

Damian was sent to kill a den of demon bats(?) in a cave, and sees a baby demon bat. When Damian tries to force it to fight back, it licks his nose, and Damian cries. This is how Damian meets Goliath ♥️. This scene represents how Damian saw himself in the demon bat, because he also had no desire to kill when he was young, but was forced to his entire life. Which is why he breaks down (including my own heart). [These pics are from Robin: Son of Batman (2016)]

I apologize if my reply was not at all you were expecting LOL, but I was going to make a post about DC’s failed 5G plan, and I thought why the hell not? I’ll do it now since it affected Damian A LOT!

“He's the one you want to root for and he's hard to love but I'm so excited to see where they take him. So glad your blog is heavily dedicated to him.”

Oh yes I absolutely agree! I’ve rooted for him on Day 1 and there aren't enough people on the Damian Wayne Defence Squad like me lmao. And thank you so much! That really means a lot! 💕 (I’ll also strongly defend the other Batkids too btw, I appreciate all of them lol)

Thank you for sending the ask! 💕 

[luciferloveschloe]

goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you remember much from high school? Honestly, not really.  Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Some nice beach resort.  Can you access the roof of the building you live in? I can’t, no.  Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? Yes.  If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? I’ve wanted to get ‘free bird’ since I was like 18, but I’m a big baby.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? Foolish Mortals. If you’re into Disney stuff, check it out. The hosts are Offhand Disney and Disney Dan on YouTube.  Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? Like I always say, I’m Miss Pessimist. I blame it on the depression and anxiety, but also I’ve been through some rough stuff and that causes me to worry.  When was the last time you moved house? A little over a decade.  Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? I have. I went to a shooting range once with some friends.  Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? I like a mix of both. Sometimes the questions are too deep and I don’t feel like getting into it or spending much time thinking about it. I just like being able to elaborate more than just simple responses.  How long have you been using Bzoink? For about a year.  When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? A few weeks ago. I had taken my first dose of my new antidepressant and one of the common side effects during like the first week is nausea.  Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I’ve never had a job.  What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple.  Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? Sure.  What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? I have no idea, it’s been so long since I’ve used Word or Google Docs. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss my grandparents who passed away. My grandma and I were really close and spent a lot of time together.  What were the best and worst costumes you've ever worn? I like the Lucy Ricardo and Alice costumes the best.  Do you know anybody who is gay and married? No. What did you last take painkillers for? I have chronic back pain and also pain from other things. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Not hobbies, but activities such as being able to go to the movies and going shopping. I miss those things.  Have you ever shared a home with a friend? No. What's the craziest or weirdest place you've ever slept? I haven’t slept anywhere crazy or weird.  What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven’t had lunch yet, it’s 12:46AM.  Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? I believe in spirits.  How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Like four. That’s about the most I get. :/ Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Yeah, tangerines. I had tried a smoothie that had some in there and they were the only fruit out of the others I’ve never had before so I assume that’s what it was that caused the reaction.  What's your favourite Thai dish? I’ve never had Thai food.   Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? No.  What are you going to do when this survey is over? Watch some YouTube videos and scroll through Tumblr until I fall asleep. I might even do another survey.  Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? No. What colour is the rug in your living area? Brown.  Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? Couch.  Who is your favourite character on Friends? I don’t have one, I never could get into that show.  When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? It’s been a couple weeks. I haven’t been able to use them because they won’t connect anymore for some reason. :/ Describe the temperature of the area you're in right now. It’s currently 64F.  Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? Alexander Skarsgard on my dash.  Have you ever had teppanyaki? No. How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? Nowadays it takes at least an hour, sometimes a little more. Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? I find it hard to get rid of most things.  What sort of games do you like to play? I like various board games, video games like Mario Bros, The Sims, hidden object games, some word games, and card games. What was the last candy you ate? I think M&Ms.  Have you ever been hit in the face? What's the story? Yeah, with one of the rubber balls in elementary school.  Do you know anyone who is deaf? No, but I know a few people who are hard of hearing.  Name one thing on your bucket list. Traveling to several different places. 

[natigail]

You know what gets me the most about that video? It’s them. We haven’t seen much of them together this year, and I honestly respect that but it doesn’t mean that you can’t miss the way things used to be. We were spoiled when there were gaming videos and regular Dan videos. But at the same time, I feel like this transition period is such a good thing. Phil’s videos this year? Some of my favourites he’s ever made. The few times Dan had popped onto the internet to talk about the book that he cares so much for? Inspired. 

It feels like we’re growing up next to them and they are going through quite a growing spurt right now, but that doesn’t mean that thing that made them so captivating in the first place has disappeared. To slightly modify dear Dan’s words: “it’s nice to know after all these years they’re still fucking weird”. Like they have changed and grown but that weirdness? It’s still there, potentially even more. 

Coming out looks so good on them. It makes my heart beat in a way that I didn’t even know it could. It’s part excitement and part comfort. I see them living their authentic and happy life together and I just feel so safe. These two men were just silly YouTubers to me when I first stumbled across them but now? They’re content creators that make me laugh and smile but also make me properly think and reflect. They help my own creativity by just showcasing theirs. They help me feel more comfortable with my sexuality by always being so welcoming and accepting, even before they came out. They make me feel like it’s okay to have those shitty mental health days, we’re all going to get through this. 

I look at their relationship and every label you can throw at it - none will really stick, none will every capture the pure essence of what they have together because it exists somewhere between words but not beyond understanding. You can see the love they treat each other with. When you know their whole story, you can see how far they have come. 

It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to see it in person, even if I personally never doubted that it was happening in their domestic little bubble all this time. A love like theirs seem steady, built between banter and light teasing but also soft smiles and quick protectiveness. It feels nice when they invite us in. Even more now that they have confirmed what had only been things we’d been reading between the lines up until last year. They are each other’s first warriors but they lower their shields for us.

This video felt like the first VPMO in some ways, since the format is so similar but there was something lighter about it. The laughs were more plentiful from Dan, Phil was smiling in almost every frame and the jokes flowed so unrestrained. I adore that they know to set boundaries and work on things that they want to work on, but I also deeply appreciate that they will put out something to “give the people what they want”. 

They know we’re here, even through the ebbs and flow of activity, we stay and support. They are aware of the world they have made, the community they had created, and while communication isn’t always smooth, it does always feel earnest. 

Thank you, boys for this video. It will be a new comfort video for me. 

P.S. Phil can pull off any of those outfits. 

[te-quiero-verde]

Okay here we go: my answers to ALL of the asks I reblogged 🙄

Thank you SO MUCH @ginny-lily 🙄

This was so fun 🙄

Describe your favourite shirt

Don't care about clothes enough to have one

If you could, would you change your eye colour?

No

Name of an artist you think is underappreciated

Emy Taliana

Favourite flower?

Dandelion

Preferred type of weather?

Storms

A poem you think describes your closest friend?

Hmm let me write one: PURE EVIL. BUT I LOVE HER. THE END.

Do you keep your fingernails long or short?

Short (for climbing)

Favourite sea animal?

Don't have one (it's not sharks. I don't have favourite animals)

Favourite land animal?

Again, I don't have favourites. I have absolutely no preference for birds, moths and shieldbugs. I love all animals equally.

Are you religious? Spiritual?

Religious? No. Spiritual? Not really

Can you fold a fitted sheet?

Umm? I can fold sheets?

Are you part of the lgbt+ community?

You know what? I think I might be xD

What's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

Do you thrift?

That's an American word. I'm skipping this question

What's your natural hair colour?

Brown

Have any pets?

No

Would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

Already vegetarian; would consider going vegan one day (but would probably fail)

An animal you wish hadn't gone extinct?

Uhh, all of them?

How many languages do you speak?

English and un-fluent Spanish

Do you care for clothing brands?

Not at all

Favourite scent on a person?

Coconut? Or nothing?

Have you ever been camping?

Yes, many times

Do you play an instrument?

Used to play the piano

Gold or silver jewellery?

Gold

Any piercings or tattoos?

No but I wanna get tattoos! And maybe get my nose pierced as well

How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

One

Would you ever want to play a game on television?

I'd be too scared of getting things wrong on a quiz game, but things like Total Wipeout (do people know what that is??) look so fun!!

Have you ever lived on a farm?

No

If you had the option, would you choose to move to another country?

Of course! I'd go and live in Rome with my sister!

Relationship status?

Single

What is your best school subject?

Spanish or English

Any unpopular opinions?

As you know, my opinions on food xD

Another name you think would suit you?

I've been told my name suits me very well?? But imagine if I was called Moon or Rain or Ocean...

A subject you enjoy learning about?

Ancient Siberian tribal rituals involving fly agarics 😏

A -core you enjoy?

Is it just me who doesn't understand all this aesthetic stuff?? I don't know 😂 I really don't know

An TV show you used to love? (AN TV SHOW???? WHAT IS THAT???? ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO DON'T REALISE THE LETTER 'T' IS A CONSONANT???? IT'S *A* TV SHOW)

My parents never let us watch normal kids' TV when we were little, so all we used to watch were cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny 😌

Any interesting family stories?

This is the best I can come up with:

You know those blocks with letters of the alphabet on that you have when you're little to help you learn how to write? Well apparently my dad used to spell rude words out with them 😂😂 and of course I had no idea what they meant so he could get away with it (he is just generally the most immature person ever. 😝 For example, EVERY time we eat melon he makes jokes. Every time anyone mentions buttering toast he makes jokes. Every time anyone says or does anything remotely innuendo-sounding, he makes jokes. And honestly I love him for it 😂)

Do you wear your socks mismatched?

I prefer to walk barefoot everywhere, but yes, when I have to wear socks they're ALWAYS odd

Your thoughts on magic - does it exist?

Maybe... ✨

Form of art you enjoy doing?

I can't art 😝

Any sideblogs?

Nope

YouTubers you enjoy watching?

Jonna Jinton, Keara Graves (IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, YOU MUST WATCH THEIR VIDEOS!!!! THEY'RE AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH), Dan and Phil, Frank James, and my group of cringey American YouTuber friends (the AMP squad)

Do you have a type?

I can have more than one type right? I love people with red hair, goths, weird people...

Twin beds, queen, or king?

Queen? I think?

Do you have strong feelings against the colour pink?

No

A food you've never tried?

I don't think I've ever had steak? And I probably never will

Dogs, cats or fish?

Dogs

Do you collect anything?

Let's just say I went through a phase that I'm not proud of, and I may or may not own about 30-50 lip balms 🙈

Earbuds or headphones?

Headphones

Jean jackets?

I... have nothing against them? But I've never owned one?

Have a job?

Nope, too lazy 😇

Kill the spider or take it outside?

Make cute eyes at them and tell them how adorable they are, then either leave them to it or take them to my room

Do you think you can sing well?

Amazingly 😉

Favourite flavour of gum?

Mint?

Shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? (that should be a semicolon 😜)

Enter Sandman - Metallica

Icecream or cake? (ice-cream!!! Hyphens exist!!!)

Cake

Can you do your own makeup?

Nope

Ever written fanfiction?

Surprisingly, yes

How many blogs do you follow?

341

Do you brush your teeth before you eat?

You mean before every meal???? I don't do that! But I normally brush my teeth before breakfast

Type of phone you have?

Samsung Galaxy S20 5G apparently

What's your first choice at the vending machine?

BBQ Mini Cheddars (or crisps, to be less specific)

Beach or pool?

BEACH

Least favourite condiment?

I don't know? I think I love them all?

How much sugar in your tea/coffee?

None because I only drink chamomile tea

Ever broken a bone?

No

Rings or necklaces?

Necklaces (but I very rarely wear jewellery because I forget it exists)

Do you still play Minecraft?

I love Minecraft!!!! But I usually only play it at Christmas

Ever ridden a motorcycle? (MOTORBIKE 😡)

No

Favourite holiday?

Christmas ^^

Opinion on 3-in-1 body wash?

What is this question?? 😂

Practical, but I don't trust it

Do you follow politics?

Not really. I like taking online quizzes though so I've done this a few times, and that's as far into the world of politics as I'll go xD (WHY AM I NOT FURTHER LEFT??? I SHOULD BE FURTHER LEFT?? THIS CONCERNS ME??)

Your instagram handle?

I'm not sharing it on here! I've been thinking about giving you my normal insta though, Fransiska (if you want it)

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

I am curious: what are your favorite scenes from your main ships (date, dair, derena...)?

scenes involving milo don't count, sorry!

for me, it's really not just scenes, but body language & just in general, how they are with each other, you know? dan and serena grin at each other and hug SO much, you can tell that being around each other in s1 made them both so happy, and even after that glow fades the way they look for comfort in each other... top level stuff. the way blair looks at dan... we never see her as radiant at any other point. she was not looking at anyone else like this. and gosh, dan and nate. they're both so comfortable around each other that there's absolutely nothing weird about like. discussing that one ex girlfriend whom they both share AND both were in love with. there is literally no other duo who trusts/enjoys each other's company so much that they're comfortable in a love triangle. (probably because they're more in love with each other than with the girl, but that is not the point. or is it?)

anyway, more specific answers. under the cut. this is one of the longest answers i've ever written on this blog possibly but you KNEW that would happen when you sent this ask, didn't you? (affectionate)

derena: i tagged one of my ds reblogs as 'the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one' and like. look at them! this hug from 1x10 kills me in the best way. they are both the literal embodiment of :D when they see each other! i love 1x10 as a whole moment, their entire thing at cotillion is so sweet and they're both so happy. the fact that he is talking about his chemistry teacher during this kiss in 1x07. that bit at the end of 1x05 when they talk about their siblings (being there for their sibling because of fallible parents being a derena parallel makes me simultaneously really sad and really soft, tbh). 1x05 gives me SO MUCH SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT but the way they walk off together arms around each other does something to me - these are two people who are still getting to know each other but who really like what they see, and who trust each other and. are just having a good time together! back when derena was my OTP, the 1x11 "your story's about me?" was absolutely a fave, too, and i still adore it, albeit in a different, more nostalgic way. i like a dan who writes cute stories about serena. no empty shell sabrina van skoneker bullshit. she is so much like you, daniel! you'd be shattered if she did this to you. don't do this to her. tbh, most derena moments from s1 are just A+ romance. the bit in 2x02 in the jitney is so funny, they're SO bad at being exes. the bit in... 3x03 i think?? i don't remember... on the contrary. when they're talking about dan's fling w/ georgina and serena's relationship with carter, the ease with which they talk and how happy/supportive they are of each other's new relationships... yeah. love to see it.

i also really like any instance of them having honest/open conversations. 1x13, talking about how serena is concerned about blair. 1x08, serena talking to dan about feeling jealous of vanessa. this bit from the touch of eva or whatever that episode is. 4x04 i think. this is the conversation everyone is trying to get dan to have and he's avoiding EVERYONE else. derena interactions in 3x21 (can't find a gif right now) - the fact that dan is with serena when her dad abandons them, the fact that he goes all the way there with her. 2x07, "i'm really glad you're nate's friend. he really needs someone like you right now" (though i'm cheating, that's technically a d/n moment too klhdflkgf). there's a bit in s4 where he's advising her against having an affair w/ colin, i don't remember the ep number, but the way he takes her side so easily and naturally and puts due blame/responsibility solely on her professor... yeah. 4x10 i think this ep is?? idk. but like my tags say, im sentimental about this moment because while what dan was doing was irresponsible, sneaking her out of the ostroff, he was the only person in this episode who was actually talking to her and listening to her and taking her seriously. nobody else was doing that!!

i probably have more moments i'm not remembering, but we're only 1/3 into this answer and LOOK AT THE WORDS, good lord, i'm sorry.

dair: my favourite dair episode is hands down despicable b (5x21) which i have heard is an uncommon answer. i just love the conflict resolution of it all, okay!!! 1x04 & 2x08 are like. standard answers any dair shipper will give, and i'm no different. i love dan being able to give blair advice and blair actually taking his advice even though they're not friends yet!!! be right back, yelling at the intimacy of it all!! 5x16, with their getting together (this little kiss and dan being so startled by it), blair admitting a flaw she genuinely does have and dan saying it's not awful because it's her, which is just. romance at its finest. those vows, good lord. 5x18.... they're having fun! blair showing up at the loft in lingerie for dan... the delight on her face.... (i know this moment blows up in their face but when she's there she looks so happy and proud of herself and this was like THE moment when i was like. oh. dair is really the heart of this garbage show huh).

i think for me, the thing that really sells dan & blair together is the serena of it all. both of them love serena more fiercely than anyone else, and that is what brings them together. (fwiw i definitely think nate loved serena this much and this deeply, too; the writers just wanted to pop the serenate balloon, which even i think was extremely unnecessary and ooc.) but (& i have so much meta about this) their relationship grows beyond serena. their entire s4 arc is SO good. i love how comfortable around each other they are, in such an adult way, in the sense of like. they both bring so much stability to each other? morgan tagged this edit "the marrieds" and like. yeah. b offers to help him shave. they're having breakfast & reading the paper together.

all the love declarations we got that weren't a simple 'i love you.' be your charming wonderful self (how could she not love you/ tell me what would make you happy, dan) i told chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore (you spent your life earning the keys to set you free when you were free all along!!!!) dan's pep talk to blair in 5x21 (already linked a gifset earlier, here's another one if you want i guess). there's definitely more... but honestly, the way the dair arc was executed was so good - while i do have my complaints, i also think keeping those aside, it was SO close to perfect. i love dan & blair's banter and gradually becoming closer and closer and closer. it felt very organic and real and GOSH. the way penn & leighton looked at each other while playing dan and blair...... it's just SO MUCH.

date: this is the hardest, because it's. *screams*. maybe you saw me losing my mind over those 2 seconds of nate handing dan a waffle? i love almost every scene with these two, even the hellish s6 breakup scene. my favourite episode for d/n (& also favourite gg episode in general) is 2x06 - i love the homoerotic subtext of it all. nate pretending to be dan because dan's name is the first name that came to his head. dan flirting w/ nate while tied to that thing, in his underwear. them becoming friends. and 2x07 as a follow-up to that! dan getting nate to live in the loft with the humphreys for a while. i am so soft.

4x09 is a terrible episode in general, especially for serena my beloved, but the d/n moments in that one? off the CHARTS. this weird overly macho flirting, in some ways THE most iconic d/n line. this entire finish each other's sentences nonsense. someone (i think it was ana but im not sure?) compared the energy of those scenes i just linked to the book blairenate love triangle resolution, blairena choosing each other over nate in the books, date choosing each other over serena in the show (if only! RIP.) after the saints & sinners ball, this cute little moment of 'youre the only one who understands me. please tell me they went home together. i mean. how could they not have.

3x07, them watching vampire porn together. a tag i used on ao3 (& also on here, once) is 'nate brings out the himbo in dan'. here is a prime example. 'is she levitating?' i don't fucking know, dan, what do you think?? (i was telling my partner that that's what i love abt dair vs date. around blair dan is an intellectual, a librarian, an art historian, a museum curator. around nate it's like dan is competing to be #1 himbo on the show. can my girlfriend actually fly? i don't know, dan. i can't believe you're seriously asking such a question.)

3x12 pep talk. (sorry about the shitty quality!) essentially nate telling dan that he (dan) is hot and that he shouldn't talk himself down so much.

dan making nate gay in his book. you know. his book from which blair found out he was in love with her. nads (who i will not tag in this billion word long gushy meta, because i value her sanity) once called inside "wish fulfilment' and. i mean. yeah

nate checking dan out at the derena wedding continues to be hilarious. hilarious in the same way as dan sexually fantasising about nate. canon really went 'let's give ivy some special easter eggs' and i appreciate them a lot!

i love the way they are around each other - so quietly attuned to each other. i showed my sister my date!husbands gifset, and she was like. yeah they're so married. and it's just stuff like how dan looks for nate over his shoulder, it's not even an active action, it's as easy and natural and intuitive as breathing, checking to see if nate is still there.

oh, that wasn't as hard as it could've been! okay. cool. im SURE there's more things i could scream about, because it's DN, the fact that they're non-canon makes me THAT much fiercer about them than dair/derena, to be honest. so many dots to connect!! anyway.

[fatbottombucky]

It’s A Bro-Job!*Chris Evans x Reader*

Summary: Yourself and Chris crash at his place after his big 39th Birthday bash, you’re on the sofa when he confesses to something. You decide to help your “bro” out. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Male!Reader

Rating: [+18] Explicit 

Warnings: MxM smut, Male oral receiving, anal. Creampie King! No plot, it’s all porn. I literally don’t know where this came from, I had a whole other idea but this... just happened

Word Count: Over 2K

Authors Note: I had a conversation with my friend Dan, how he got with his now boyfriend was because he gave him what he calls a “bro-job”. Don’t ask lol Again, my beta, Honey, REALLY helped a girl out with the smut @peachesnplum​ - Ro

Tagging: I was the anon lol @honeychicanawrites​ @rhyrhy462​ @softboi-vibes​

You both stumbled through the door, the lights were all off which made it impossible to see or walk without tripping up. You could hear Chris fumbling for the lightswitch, cursing under his breath when he slaps the wall haphazardly a few times. The lights flicker on and you blink at the brightness, trying to get your eyes to adjust to the sudden change of lighting. 

“Make yourself comfortable,” his words are slurred, but he’s not drunk just on the better side of tipsy. 

You both have that buzz. Your bodies are vibrating from the alcohol, plus the music from the venue you were at. The taste of the confetti cake in your mouths and sweat clings to your bodies; dancing, being pressed to so many people at the party. 

Chris always throws the best birthday bashes, that’s just facts. 

His 39th wasn’t an exception either, somehow, this was more wild. So, many people turned up. Women all wanting a dance with Chris, which he humbly accepted with a wicked grin thrown at you- he’s shameless. You’d never hear him brag about the advances, but he wouldn’t hide the absolute prideful smirk he gets when he is flirted with. 

It’s what makes the ending of this birthday so… different. Normally, you’d be his wingman. Granted you’ve never been with a woman before, you’re gay, but you somehow have this charming effect on everyone you meet and it helps ease Evans anxiety knowing if things get awkward you can steer him back on track. 

You originally met his brother, Scott, through Grindr. You met up, had a connection but more so as friends and you haven’t looked back. Five years of being their friend and pining after Chris. 

Tonight, however, Chris left the party with you. He danced and flirted with a few girls, pretty and stunning girls. But he claimed he didn’t find the person to give him that 39th sex experience. 

Whatever that means. 

However, the conversation happening now is something completely different. “Well, how would you know?” You asked with a laugh. “Guys suck dicks better, it’s facts. We know what we like, I’m sure girls are great. Heck, I bet they’re marvellous. Props to women for sucking dick, but guys are just naturals to it.” 

Chris looks at you with disbelief and you look back at him, willing him to challenge you on this argument. “All I said was that, I think, I wouldn’t be good at it.” He reminds you. 

Huh, why were you saying that? 

“I said what I said,” you defend yourself and Chris laughs. “Anyway, why isn’t there a girl giving you a birthday blow-job?” He chokes on the beer he has, coughing as he tries to take a sip when you ask that question. “Stop acting so innocent, Evans. We all know this is your favourite time of year, every girl is suddenly into anal for your birthday.” 

It’s a couple minutes before he has settled, giving you a playful glare. “I don’t know, I wasn’t feeling it from any of the girls at the party. Honestly, I didn’t get any last year either.” 

“Damn,” you mutter with raised eyebrows and Chris shakes his head. “Two years in a row? Chris, there’s a plethora of people willing to do anything, you know that, right?” He nods with a simple shrug. 

“I can’t remember the last time I had my dick sucked,” He admits with a frown, a thoughtful sip of his beer. “Probably, sometime before Endgame began shooting.” 

That’s a...while. Longer than you would’ve expected. Chris is a very attractive guy, you half expect him to have someone on the side. Maybe, not a full time thing but someone he can call up for a bit fun. Yet, almost half a year since he’d done anything. 

That needed to be changed. Pronto. 

“Unconventional offer,” You begin, “but this wouldn’t be my first time giving a bro-job.” 

“A what now?” 

You roll your eyes, “I’m your bro, right? I’ll suck your dick, no questions asked. Don’t make it weird, it’s just a bro doing a favour.” 

The explanation should make him laugh, you hoped anyway. Instead he’s silent, watching you and for a moment you think, maybe, just maybe, you might have offended him. Of course, you’re best friends and this could potentially make things awkward. 

“Okay,” he shrugged nonchalantly and that throws you off now. “Well, you offered.” 

Instead of questioning his willingness you get off of the sofa, settling between his legs but avoiding looking into his eyes, for now. You work on unbuttoning his pants, pulling the zipper down and he helps by lifting his hips as you pull his jeans and briefs down. 

His cock is only half-hard, heavy and dribbling a small amount of pre-cum from the tip. It’s long and girthy, exactly what you expected but a little bigger than you’ve ever taken before. You spit in your palm and wrap the hand around him already slowly working him. He gets harder in your hand as you lick the pre-cum away, it’s a slow process till he’s extremely hard in your grasp. 

That’s when you really begin. 

Once he’s rockhard, you take the tip into your mouth lightly suckling the head. Pulling out the salty pre-cum from the tip, flattening your tongue against the underside of his dick before taking more of him into your wet, hot mouth. A loud groan comes from him, you finally look up and see his head is thrown back. One of his hands holds the back of your head, keeping your mouth on his cock. 

You start to work your mouth down his length, breathing evenly through your nose as you nudge him down your throat. Your gag reflex coming in strong as you have his entire length settled in your mouth, your nose brushing against the trimmed pubic hair he has. 

“Fuck!” he chokes and looks down at you, “swallowed my cock whole, filthy slut.” 

You swallow around his length, throat tightening around his length and he releases a groan. Your jaw aches from having it stretched so wide, so full too. You start to bob your head, practically choking yourself on his cock as you fuck your throat. 

Your own jeans becoming tight around the crotch area, your own cock aching for attention. This isn’t about you, it’s about Chris and you doing him a favour, so you forget about the hardness in your pants and double your efforts. 

Saliva and cum dribbles from the corners of your mouth, slurping and choking sounds coming from your slicked up mouth. Everything about this is dirty and sinful. You’re sucking your friends dick, nothing about this is sweet or innocent. And Chris is enjoying it. 

Hands on your head, his hips lifting to meet your mouth to fuck it generously. He’s panting above you, chest heaving and eyes darkened but not leaving your face. It’s like he’s a different person, not that you minded. If anything this side of Chris is, somehow, in some way hotter to you. 

“Oh, god,” he groans out loudly, eyes rolling into the back of his head, “can I fuck you? Let me fuck you.” He stutters out when you grip his balls. 

You pull off his cock with a slurp and a pop, looking up at him for a moment. A whimper escapes his throat when you’re not around him anymore, a thick string of saliva connects you to his dick and more is dribbling down your chin. 

“You sure?” You asked rubbing at the bulge in your jeans, the thought of getting fucked by him just making you want to explode. 

“Fuck yes.” 

That’s all you need, you’re standing up on shaky legs with achy knees. You button your pants and pull them down, trying to pull your shirt off. It’s a flurry of clothes being removed from the both of you, you look at Chris and allow your eyes to roam over his naked torso. 

But he seems to have other plans, grabbing and pulling you back to the sofa. Your hands clutch the armrest ahead of you, knees spread and ass in the air as Chris has one knee on the sofa and the other leg on the floor. 

He spreads your asscheeks apart, spitting on your quivering hole and you groan at the feeling of it dripping down before it can go anywhere he’s swirling the spit around your tight ring. Fingertips dipping inside of you, you shakily sigh when a finger slips in and he starts to fuck you with it. Adding another finger, your thighs are shaking already just from having his thick digits inside of you. 

“Don’t wanna hurt you, but fuck I just wanna fuck you already.” he admits and your eyes roll into the back of your head when a third finger is scissored inside of you. 

He fingers your ass for a few minutes, spitting to add more lubrication before he eventually pulls his messy fingers from you. Pumping his cock with spit slicked fingers and lining himself up, you feel the fat tip prod your opening. 

Even with the slight prep it’s still on the side of pain when he pops the head in, your hole stretching around him and he sinks in slowly. Hands grip your hips in a bruising embrace, he allows you to adjust once he’s fully settled inside. Your cock is leaking pre-cum and smearing onto his sofa, but neither of you seem to care about it. 

Chris pulls back a couple of inches before slamming back in, you groan and squeeze your eyes shut. His hand slinks up your back and gripping the back of your neck in a tight grip, you know you’re in for the ride of your life. He starts pounding into you, showing little mercy on you. He fucks you with long, hard strokes. The tip of his more than impressive length hitting your prostate everytime. 

You choke on air, your lungs barley filled because he’s fucking the life out of you. His other moves and wraps around your cock, loosely wrapping around it, so that every jolt of his hips has your cock fucking into his hand. 

“Fuck, I’m going to cum.” You admit and bite your lip, feeling your balls tighten and your cock starting to twitch. Chris has the audacity to chuckle darkly at you, every thrust in he grinds his hips so that his cock head brushes against your prostate. 

“Go on then,” he leans his body down, torso against your back and mouth beside your ear. “Cum in my hand because you can’t hold it, can’t even wait for me, can you? So desperate.” 

You groan and start meeting his thrusts, pushing back against him- almost like you were chasing his dick every time it started to withdraw. It’s a few more thrusts and you’re cumming with a shout, spilling over his hand and sofa, it’s hot and sticky but you don’t care. Chris continues to fuck you, wrapping his hand tighter around your cock as you cum. He squeezes and milks your dick of it’s release, you whimper as he continues to stroke your cock even after everything had spilled. 

“Cum inside of me, please.” You look over your shoulder, meeting his eyes and he bites his bottom lip harshly. 

You can tell his close by the way his eyes glaze over, a stuttered groan escaping him when he continues to pound into your overused hole. He pulls up off of you, hands gripping your asscheeks and spreading them so he can watch exactly where his cock slips in and out of you. 

“You want it all inside of you, huh?” He asked with a cock smirk and you nod, unable to form words. “Gonna fill your ass up.” He throws his head back and moans loudly. 

You feel the hot load shoot inside of you, he doesn’t stop fucking you as he cums. Short thrusts and deep thrusts as he continues to cum inside, it feels never ending as load after load is fucked into you. Some of it dribbling around his cock and down your quivering thighs, it’s a few short minutes before he stops and pants for air. 

You hiss when you feel Chris slip his cock from you asshole, his eyes watch your sloppy hole clench around nothing and is puffy from being overworked. He sits back against the sofa, dick now soft but wet and between his legs. He looks over to see you belly down on the sofa, one leg hanging off and on the floor. 

His dick twitches when he sees his cum spilling out of your ass, it’s going to stain his sofa but he doesn’t care right now. You look completely fucked out, but he can feel himself getting up for round two. Briefly wondering if you’d be up for another load in you. 

“How many of those bro favours do you give out?” He asked and he heard you chuckle, your shoulder shaking and pushing yourself up. 

“You’re the birthday boy, however many you want.”

(As a lesbian woman, I need to say, I’ve never had straight sex... I’ve watched gay porn, cause me and my friends LOVE to laugh at porn plots sometimes, so be nice to me... I’m not very adapt with sex stuff (unless its fxf) love you all- Rosalie)

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell on queer self-care in a straight world

Daniel Howell came out on YouTube a year ago and now has a bestselling book about how straight and queer men can best look after their mental health. In a weird year for Pride, and for mental health, we asked Howell how the LGBTQ+ community should look after themselves

Being a man is not easy, nor is navigating your mental health as one. But for queer men the problems are both very similar and entirely their own. Finding space in this world to process the hard parts of being queer and making sure we don't bring the worst parts of masculinity into queer spaces isn't easy either. Coming out might seem like the seminal moment in a gay life but, actually, much of what follows is no easier.

Daniel Howell – “a professional internet clown” – has documented his own experiences with coming out, being gay and the struggles with his own mental health on his YouTube channel. Now he's released a book, You Will Get Through This Night, which is currently at number one on the Sunday Times chart. The decision to do a book around mental health was partially inspired by a resistance to doing a memoir – “My entire life story is on the internet, go watch it if you want” – and also by the fact that, “For 28 years, I never even took a slight interest in my own mental health, asking how I was feeling, because if you've had a busy work day the last thing you want to do in your spare time is homework about mental health.”

So the 30-year-old set out to condense all the knowledge he'd found tough to swallow into a more palatable format. “It's a lean, mean mental health machine. I'm not going to go off too deep on one topic and we're not going to waste any time. We're going to give you the information that you need right now.” For Howell, this is a book you can reread over and over again to find the advice you need for the problems you're currently facing. “I'm in this position where I'm opening every wound in my entire life, inviting everybody to stick their finger into it and hoping that I can make it seem more relatable and accessible,” he explained.

As we enter a very odd Pride Month and Pride season, indeed, we asked Howell how LGBTQ+ readers might be able to use this time to find solace and mental tranquility, particularly after the year-and-a-bit the world has had and we start to return to some semblance of normality.

GQ: We are here, as part of this discussion about mental health and your book, to talk about how queer mental health is impacted by heteronormativity, the patriarchy, by straight society, all of our favourite things. You documented your coming out and, since then, your journey with queerness. So I was wondering how your mental health was beforehand and how it changed afterwards?

Dan Howell: I could not have estimated how intrinsically linked my sexuality was to most of the suffering in my life. It really boils down to a single point about authenticity: if you are living a lie, if you are pushing against something fundamentally true and inevitable about yourself, you're just going to burn out and reach a point where you can't do it anymore. That's what happened to me. I had such a traumatising relationship with my sexuality throughout my life. I was one of those people – and many will relate, whether they're queer or not – who said, “I'm just gonna focus on my career. I'm not gonna deal with this skeleton in my closet right now, because I've got to focus on other things.”

What happened with me was I reached that wall, I hit that point where I just couldn't keep going anymore in my day-to-day life. As someone who creates, and is supposed to be an entertainer and to talk about myself for a living, I literally couldn't work anymore until I tackled this topic. It had everything to do with my self-esteem, my world view and my own relationship with my own emotions. Every time I dived down that rabbit hole of anxiety, or I slipped into a depressive mood and felt like I deserved it, it was because there was something that I couldn't escape from yet.

For me, the moment – well, I say “the moment” I came out, it was a year-long process – it was literally a weight that lifted, in a way I can't describe to anyone that hasn't been there. It felt like my entire life I'd been wearing a suit of chainmail that I just instantly dropped on the floor and I felt like a completely different person. And that kind of acceptance of yourself allowed me to re-evaluate every aspect of myself in relation to my mental health. I've just done a complete 180.

We love that for you. But like any of us who come out, you are then faced with a world that is in many ways wildly uncaring once we have done it. What have been some of the struggles you have faced as someone being gay in a fundamentally straight society?

There are a lot of, let's say, “sensitive straight people” that feel like gay people having a moment for themselves takes something away from them. This is true of queerness of any shade, but it also applies to anything else in life: if someone is going through something bad and needs a moment or if they just want any kind of equality, that's not taking anything away from you. To all the racists on Facebook, Black Lives Matter isn't making your life worse, it's just that they want equality. It's the same thing for people coming out: they're not coming out to have an attention parade, that's just them becoming a normal member of society, like you.

I wish I didn't have to come out because I hated all the speculation and attention I had to deal with for the ten years prior to it. Until anyone having to come out, in any way, with their gender or sexual identity, is normal, it's going to be a surprise to you. So I don't know what you're complaining for.

We are all, technically, at one point, part of the straight world and then slowly but surely our relationship with it changes – or at least that's my experience. What has been your relationship with engaging with a world that is, in some ways, in stasis while you have gone on a journey of change?

I had to accept that a lot of the audience that have been with me over the past ten years were, unfortunately, not gay. And that's really sad, but I still want to say that they're welcome and bring them along with me on the journey slightly. Even though I've come out as this alien, it doesn't mean I'm flying away to another planet and you'll never be able to relate to me again.

This is why mental health is a great example for my audience of how my being gay is so linked to my experience of my health, but you can relate to it too, because you're also a human with a brain and you have emotions. We're not so different. So, for me, it's about saying, “Hey, there are certain things that I am going to talk about now and there are parts of my life that I'm going to share.” And you might be like, “Oh, well, I haven't had a leather orgy in the basement, I can't relate to that.” And to that I say, “Well, that's my culture, you just have to accept it.”

But it's important to find the common ground in everything that I do. But I'm aware that, whether I asked for it or not, I am in this position where I'm representing queer people, especially on the internet. So even though my coming out moment has happened, I will never stop having to talk back to people and explaining things for the rest of my life. You don't just come out once. I'm going to have to do it every ten minutes, every tweet, everything I'll ever do for the rest of my life, if ever someone's surprised and goes, “What's that about?”

Have you been intrigued as to the ceiling for some people of what they're willing to engage with as a queer creator, telling stories of your own life, sharing in your own life? Have you been surprised by how far some people are willing to go with you or surprised by where someone's boundaries are?

It was definitely a surprise how positive humanity can be sometimes. That's just my perspective, because I am very much a product of my childhood, which was very upsetting and, as a result, as an adult I am incredibly cynical. My default position is to expect the worst from everyone.

Because I was brought up in a very toxic masculine environment, I have the same mental health struggles that anyone male – regardless of whether they're gay or not – can relate to, which is that pressure to have the stiff upper lip and not show any vulnerability and not ask for help in case you're perceived to be weak. There's still this notion that young people on the internet, people like me, are always complaining about things and asking for attention and talking about their feelings. Can't they just deal with it? There's this idea that they're weak or not being manly, but in my experience it's the opposite of that.

If you are willing to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, honestly, “What am I not dealing with? What am I too stressed about? What are the issues with my life?” If you can open up about that and ask for help, that's bravery. It's not a weakness to be honest with yourself and look at the shit that's hiding underneath something. That's what's gonna make you stronger; you have to go there and confront it.

When I come out, I expected that everyone's going to hate me, it's going to be a disaster, my career is going to be over. But the younger generation on the internet today is, by default, much more accepting. Because I just told the truth of my story, it wasn't even about whether I was gay or straight, people just empathised with what I've been through. People who watched my coming out journey might not have been gay, but they had a connection with me. You definitely do get the odd lost Trump Twitter bot that somehow stumbled into the weird gay Zoomer space, but, for me, I have actually been surprised by the people of the internet.

Let's not aim all toxic masculinity in the patriarchy at straight people either: the bad parts of it percolate into our own communities as well. Have you found restrictive parts of masculinity still crop up in your life or in queer spaces?

I am not instantly free of my psychological upbringing and culture and I'm aware of that every single day. I am a miserable bastard. I think men across the world have a certain mindset of being cynical and competitive, but, specifically for British people, it manifests in tearing each other down. We're all comparing ourselves to each other.

You think the moment you come out it's a big gay rainbow parade – everyone's a hippie, all hugging each other – but gay people can be so vicious within their own communities. Hurt people can still hurt people, so you still have all these horrible people in the gay community who are willing to be toxic and horrible. Being gay doesn't mean you're not racist. It doesn't mean you're not an asshole. And everyone has to have a moment where they think about themselves and how they act.

How have you found being queer with accessing mental health provisions in this country?

The current support for mental health in this country is just abysmal. Mental health support shouldn't just be there if you've snapped. Our entire society and healthcare should be trying to prevent it in the first place by educating people about how to look after their own mental health so that we're all fine.

When I first started going to a therapist I assumed I could talk to anyone, but they just don't understand my perspective all the time. For me, this has shown the importance of having a community. One of the good things that the internet has done, especially for queer people, is to allow the only gay in the village – wherever the hell you are in the world – to go onto the internet and to find a community of people like you that are supporting each other.

I look at young people today and they're like: here's a list of resources, services and things that you can read to understand your own body and your sexuality, how to think and feel and mental health. I just think, “Oh, my God, if I had Twitter when I was 13, I might have had a drastically different life.” Because it wasn't until I was 23 or 24 and social media started taking off that I even saw that these spaces existed. So at least people today are using technology to create the resources that aren't already being made for them out there in the world.

Feminism benefits men as well as women and many forms of intersectional equality benefit the oppressor as well in the long run. What parts of thinking about a queer, inclusive mental health system and a queer inclusive society benefit straight people as well?

The most straight, white patriarchal man feels like they're being oppressed by this cage that they built themselves. You want to talk about why the male suicide rate is so high? It's because society expects guys to not share how they feel and to fit a certain role in society that's complete bullshit.

To any man who feels like life isn't fair, because they wish they could have a bit more help, they wish they could open up a bit more, they wish they could be more honest, if we move closer to acceptance we can just be on some even ground here that's much healthier for all of us.

It's exactly the same thing as gays becoming bullies because they're just regurgitating something that happened to them before. It's all a cycle of this toxic relationship with ourselves and our self-esteem and our mental health and how we take out our emotions on others. And people need to be allies in order to have a better relationship with how they see themselves. It's just a fact.

You were talking about how, often, when we tell anecdotes about our pain it can seem like we're dealing with it, but actually it's just another way of being palatable for others. How do you balance making sure that you're being vulnerable and engaging with yourself honestly, while also presenting something that is fundamentally well-crafted for an audience?

There's a difference between me five years ago being like, “I'm depressed, ba-dum-tsch” and how I talk about my mental health now. What was behind that way I used to talk? I think for so many people – and this can apply to any issue that you can be stressed or upset about in your life – humour is this coping mechanism, it builds up a wall but allows you to get something out on the table without really dealing with it.

There's this whole discussion about what are you allowed to joke about and the line before you say, “Hey, you should stop talking about that and take it seriously.” For me, I still think you should be able to joke about your sexuality. I will tell stories about it, you can laugh at me being depressed, it's just that the person doing that has to acknowledge the pros and cons of approaching it that way.

It can also make you feel like you can see other people that are talking about it. Is 10,000 people joking about how depressed they are slightly weird and maybe there's an issue there? Yes, but at least that one depressed person goes, “It's not just me.” So there's a good side to it.

What every single person then has to do is not just let that procrastinate the issue. It can't be a band aid and then we all say, “Oh, there we go, we've done all the work that you have to,” because you can only joke about it for so long until you hit the wall.

For queer people who are confused, who are exhausted from various facets of existing in a heteronormative patriarchal, straight society, what are some good things to be able to do to be able to tuck themselves away to look after themselves?

The biggest thing is realising that it's not a big mysterious force that you can't control. You are actually not built and wired a certain way and there's nothing you can do about it. I used to tell myself this lie when I was feeling really depressed sometimes that I was just having a bad day and therefore on those days I guess I just have to spend the whole day crying into a pillow or something. That's not true. Unfortunately, you don't have that excuse. Because what I've learned from writing the book is there are so many things you can do to change how you think and feel, just in the moment.

For me, I'm that guy that bolts awake at 4am in the middle of the night in cold sweats, thinking about some traumatising gay thing that happened to me when I was 15. Now I'm obsessed with being mindful, trying to do something to indulge your senses to be present in the moment instead. When it comes to lifestyle, I hated this realisation myself, but it's not all therapy. There are lots of little everyday choices that every single one of us can make that have profound impact on how we think and feel. As much as I like to be an insomniac nerd that doesn't go outside and mostly eats takeaways, it's things like your support network, what's your social life like, are you getting a good night's sleep, how much do you move during the day, what's your environment like… Little decisions we make day to day, all of that adds up to create the foundation that your health and happiness is based on.

That's why I think the book is so important. It may make you feel personally attacked, but it's in a good way. If that's what I've had to go through publicly for the past ten years, I think it's only fair that everybody does that for themselves.

You Will Get Through This Night by Dan Howell is out now.