#making dan Weird is honestly my favourite thing

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Reacting to my TERRIBLE Acting

Name change won't stop me from continuing my favourite series of tumblr posts!

- Starting with"acting, is one skill I don't have" is indeed a mood because same! I am decent on a stage, but horrible on camera.

- HE PICKED GERMAN AWWW and he liked it?! This is a first cause usually people hate on the language. He has weirdly good pronunciation for an English speaker, because native english speakers really struggle with german.

- Wait golden pig is a piggy bank?? I should have known but somehow I am surprised.

- Thank you for giving us all the unknown lore because I did not know that Phil was in half of these.

- Anything he does with Dan is just rated higher, I love that.

- He is just making fun of himself the entire time I love that, you got to stop taking yourself so serious and just have fun and Phil has embraced that.

- PJ MAKING THEM PLAY HUSBAND AND WIFE IS ICONIC THANK YOU PJ

- The fact the first one where he said he was in his element was the one where he acted with Dan and they played husband and wife, not thinking about it.

- Dan heyyyyy babe. Him fully being traumatised by this to the point Phil isn't allowed to bring it up is hilarious to me, but I feel for you.

- "We are brothers" "You're adopted" Okay pack it up that's weird.

- I only recently discovered this clip through twitter and honestly I understand why Dan feels haunted by this.

- Dan just wanting to leave and alternatively yapping again and Phil zoning out, husband behaviour off the charts.

- Stop Dan hiding in his shirt is ADORABLE and like you can tell he is the younger one out of the two of them and those are always my favourite moments. Something about him looking younger, looking up to Phil does things to me.

- OH MY GOD the whole sequence of Dan just cussing Phil out and Phil giggling uncontrollably is my new favourite clip.

- Is it good? No but under the circumstances I do think it was better than what I would have been able to do!

- Even when Dan is mad he smiles so big his dimples are popping out and that's why I think he's just a big softie, case closed.

[diovstheworld]

Agents of Dio and Babysitting

my headcanons for dio’s agents and how i imagine they would be baby sitting dio’s sons. also i didn’t include all the agents so sorry if i missed out anyone’s fave :( i mostly included my fave agents along with some others. okay on with the post! (also p.s. sorry these slowly get worse as the post goes on lmao)

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

Rubber Soul:

okay sorry but he would be very irresponsible in my opinion 😭

he would probably be a fun babysitter though! loves playing games with dio’s sons

even though he’s not very responsible, he’s very good with the kids

his favourite of the 4 is rikiel and giorno, mainly because they cause him the least amount of trouble lmao

his favourite thing to do to keep the kids occupied is playing hide and seek with them

and he will read to them at bed time. though he’s normally sending himself to sleep while sending the kids to sleep

Mariah:

i think she would hate kids BUT i think she would be really good with them

honestly it’s her worst nightmare when she’s left to babysit dio’s sons

the thought of having to deal with them and clean up after them makes her sick to be honest (me too girl)

claims she couldn’t care less if something happened to the kids but she pays attention to them when she has to because she doesn’t want to actually face the consequences from dio if something does happen to the kids

normally ends up getting midler to come over and help her out with taking care of the kids

but mostly just calls her over to help deal with sick and other messes the kids have left in their diapers or the potty or even on the floor

her favourite son is also rikiel and giorno for sure for the same reasons as rubber

Steely Dan:

awful with kids so he’s not asked to babysit very often lmao

actually doesn’t even like kids either and is just all round bad with kids

also hates the thought of cleaning up after the kids and refuses to touch any messes they make and just like mariah, gets midler to come and deal with it

when he does baby sit dio’s kids, he never actually watches them to make sure they’re not getting into trouble or doing something they shouldn’t be lmao

honestly, the kids get away with so much when he’s babysitting because he simply doesn’t care

there’s definitely been some bones broken when dan has been babysitting

his favourite of dio’s sons is unaglo because he’s normally doing some weird or bad thing he shouldn’t be doing but it makes dan laugh

Daniel D’Arby:

really good with kids actually and is probably one of the more reliable agents for babysitting

mostly because he had to look after his brother a lot when they were younger so he’s used to looking after them and keeping them busy and calm

plays card games with the kids even though they’re tiny lmao

and still cheats when he plays against them too, no one is safe lmaooo

though giorno picked up some tips and tricks which have been useful in the future working in passione

his favourite of the kids is giorno for this reason as he’s always paying close attention in the card games played

but he’s always keeping a close eye on the kids to make sure they’re all well and doing okay

his favourite activity to do with the kids is play card games or just in general likes to play board games with the kids

Terence D’Arby:

also pretty good at babysitting! normally one of the ones who dio almost always asks alongside vanilla ice

dio’s kids often end up falling asleep on his knee while he’s playing video games :,) they’re always amused by all the colours and sounds going on

he lets the kids have a go at the video games and he always loves seeing how happy it makes them :)

always making sure the kids are well fed and well hydrated

he’s pretty much drawing on his experiences of what he can remember of daniel babysitting him as a kid lmao

his favourite of the kids is also rikiel and giorno because they don’t cause him much trouble very often

he’s not really good at giving the kids into trouble when they do do something wrong which leaves them to take the piss out of him a lot lmaooooo

Hol Horse:

i feel like he doesn’t mind babysitting dio’s kids but he’s also not the most responsible of the group lmao

i also feel like even though he’s not responsible, he’s actually really good with kids

the kids like him for the most part so they actually behave without him having to do very much

he plays games like hide and seek and such with the kids to make sure they’re well entertained

and also does it to try and tire the kids out so they go and nap lmaooo

again, unaglo is his favourite because he’s always doing stupid stuff that makes him laugh

Vanilla Ice:

the most reliable baby sitter out of all of the agents honestly

takes care of dio’s sons like they are his own kids

actually feeding them their meals and such when required

gives them healthy snacks for sure

his favourite activity is drawing and colouring in with the kids

his favourite child is giorno for sure since he’s so easy to look after and his least favourite is donatello since he can be so stubborn. he often finds it hard to control donatello lmaooo

Midler:

she’s not too bad of a babysitter either to be honest

she isn’t a big fan of kids either but at the same time, they don’t bother her to the extent that mariah and dan are bothered

because of this, she normally ends up turning up to help the two out

it’s always chaotic when she has to go and help the others lmao

she really just does what she does to look after them and is just generally good at taking care of them

makes sure they’re kept occupied so that they don’t cause any hassle or hurt themselves (unlike dan)

doesn’t have a favourite or least favourite kid but she does often get annoyed by don and unaglo for either arguing, or causing chaos

she enjoys drawing pictures for the kids to colour in when they don’t have any colouring books on hand :)

[lixenn]

Hiiiiii~!!! These questions are really fun but lemme try to not overwhelm you lmao and give everyone else a chance to ask questions! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

For Chief:

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?", "Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?" and "What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

for Cilmi:

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?", "What element best represents your character?" and "Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?" [I'll probably send more Cilmi asks later. ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )]

Momooo!! Decided to clean up my inbox a bit, so it's time go get you some answers, luv! Thank you for your patience 🙏🥺💜✨

Chief

"Does your character have a favorite material they like to wear?"

I actually answered this question here. It took me a bit to find it because I didn't tag it correctly (thanks for that past!Lix) but digging through the archive got me a hit 🫡

"Has your character gone through major stylistic or physical changes?"

The only change Chief went through is me giving him grey hair I think. Dan is actually not that old at least compared to other OCs I've read about here, he only really became a thing after I started posting the first few chapters of the Guide in March. I had some Guide chapters written down for ages in my phone notes but never posted thim until I went fuck it, but in my notes the one writing the Guide... was just supposed to be some guy lmao I never intended for the narrator to become an OC but it ended up happening anyways and I'm so happy for it.

"What is a childhood meal your character cherishes?"

Chief has a special fondness for Carbonara. His Mum made it regularly when he was a kid and it' still one of his favourite meals. (But only when his Mum makes it, everyone else just messes it up <- not really Chief is just nitpicky as hell).

Cilmi

"What food or drink does your character consider a treat?"

You already know because I needed your help to pick but for everyone else: Cilmi considers bajiya a treat! He doesn't really get traditional food when he's at the Varia compound unless he makes it himself (which he often doesn't like to bother with) so he looks forward to eating it when he visits his family.

"What element best represents your character?"

I'm not quite sure what "element" means in this context since there are a lot of different definitions for this word. My science side wants to get out the periodic table but since there are a lot of elements on there (and I don't know the properties of most) I'm going to make my life easier and chose the ATLA route aka water, earth, fire and air.

Out of those four earth represents Cilmi best. He's steady, grounding, not easy to shake and firm in his beliefs. He's patient but if you hit the right spot he will erupt (seriously don't harm the books, it won't end well for you).

"Does your character believe in myths and fairy tales?"

Okay this is difficult to answer because it varies. There are a lot of unusual things wandering around in the world and Cilmi is aware of all the craziness. He believes in ghost and spirits because he's seen them, he knows something weird is going on with the Castle itself and honestly the things that R & D can cook up are sometimes even more unbelievable than an actual myth, so he tends to give most stories a benefit of doubt. I wouldn't call this belief because... it's more clinical than that. Cilmi is first and foremost a scholar, so his interest in myth and fairy tales is mostly centered in collecting them for the archive, to store them for the future because these stories can tell a lot about the culture they came from.

[freeuselandonorris]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers 💫

tysm for the tag @glasscushion !!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32 currently!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

241,146 since 2018 which is absolutely wild to me, particularly as i have about another 30k waiting in the wings. three novels’ worth. WILD.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

largely motorsports (formula 1 and formula e) although i do occasionally dip a toe into other fandoms. largely RPF, i’m generally not that interested in writing non-RPF although i do read it sometimes.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

there was always warmth between us (maxiel)

lol, my magnum opus. the stats on this one still blow my mind (almost 1400 kudos at time of writing). sometimes people tell me it’s a comfort fic for them which really makes my day. there’s a lot about this fic i would change if i wrote it again now (the dialogue especially) but there you go, hindsight and all that.

nobody knows the trouble i’ve been (or the exacting improvement of sin) (maxiel)

i think this was the first vaguely kinky fic i posted on AO3? spanking and behaviour correction from the days when max and dan were starting to want to kill each other and it was spilling over on-track. definitely blessed dan with way too much emotional intelligence compared to real life but hey, i can do what i like with my paper dollies.

as if death itself was undone (maxiel)

undernegotiated breathplay porn my beloved! this remains one of my favourite fics i’ve ever written (although the paragraphs are way too long). i’m a real sucker for the trope of people discovering kinks they didn’t know they had and immediately acting on them — v bad idea in real life, v hot in fiction.

a siren on the rocks calling you into the deep (girl!landoscar)

so funny to me that the lunatic squirting rule 63 porn i posted less than a fortnight ago is in my top 4 already, landoscar fans you are all freaks and i love you for it. this is absolute filth, my first rule 63 and contains a lot of bodily fluids, my favourite thing.

unfucktheworld (maxiel)

i was very surprised to see this in my top 5 but honestly i think it’s only there because it’s my oldest fic so it’s just had time to accrue more kudos? it was my first time writing fic in about 10 years, the characterisation is all over the place, it’s just…not that great i don’t think? but it’s sweet and porny and it’s lovely that people are still digging back through the archives to give it a go, so i’m not complaining.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to! i went through a phase last year where i just got very easily overwhelmed by life and gave up on replying for a while (which sucks because i received some of my favourite ever comments during that period, so if i ever didn’t reply to your comment please know that i DID read and treasure it, i am just very bad at carrying out simple tasks sometimes). i tend to save them up and reply in batches, which is probably why i get overwhelmed 🫠

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

idk if i’ve written any with an outright angsty ending tbh! i am a sucker for a happy ending, or at least an ambiguous one. also frankly a lot of my fics are just porn and don’t really have endings per se lmao.

i guess my weird toto/christian all the blood runs hot before it’s cold has a not-happy ending in the sense that it’s clear that they doomed to repeat unhealthy behaviour with each other (to be explored in the sequel i nearly have completed once i get free of the landoscar brain rot) but it’s not angsty, really, because christian’s too far in denial to be angsty about it.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i think there was always warmth between us, being a slowburn friends to lovers that ends with a declaration of love, probably takes that crown!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so far, fingers crossed it remains that way! i do remember being very nervous before i posted my first hardkink fic (the watersports fic eight of swords (reversed)) and feeling like i would be driven from the fandom with pitchforks, but thankfully that did not come to pass.

i do quite often receive comments that are just sort of…baffled? because i have a tendency to write extremely sexually explicit fics that are deliberately not actually that sexy. i like writing about the weirdness and grossness of sex, i like weird kinks and psychosexual oddness, i like unbalanced power dynamics and i like it when sex scenes aren’t all soft focus and simultaneous orgasms. so i think sometimes people go in to my fics expecting one thing and coming out with something else, but the comments are always very polite! also i think i have accidentally awakened something in quite a few readers but i consider that a public service.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

looool. do i. as above — i write a LOT of smut and it is usually far too detailed, generally very informed by kink and power dynamics, and unnecessarily verbose. i’m a huge fan of the writing of JG Ballard who wrote the most clinical, bizarre sex scenes that make you horny and disturbed in equal measure, and that’s what i strive towards in most of my fics.

even the ones that are actually incredibly sweet and romantic (to me anyway!) like just found me a brand new box of matches (landoscar foot fetish gremlin weirdness) or playboy in the grotto (landoscar piss fetish gremlin weirdness) are still not sexy in a sanitised way, they’re about love and connection being found through cherishing and honouring the weird and gross and unconventional parts of each other. this is a political standpoint for me as much as anything else, not to get overwrought about it — my queerness is as expressed through my love for the unsanitary and unsavoury and taboo as much as it is my love of people of different genders, and i want to reflect that in my fic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i don’t! i don’t tend to read them, either. maybe this is just a side effect of my preference for RPF but i just don’t find the concept all that interesting or appealing. i’m also not that much of a fan of AUs in general (rule 63 excepted), although i will make exceptions if they’re well-written and i like the concept enough.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah someone reposted there was always warmth between us on wattpad a year or so ago and had to do the copyright strike thing. i felt very famous.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don’t believe so! if anyone wants to translate any of my fics, please feel free to ask.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not officially! i think i am too much of a control freak for that tbh. but i have written a lot of fics that have been hashed out in forensic detail with @lost-decade and/or @scenetocause and so they probably should be given co-creator credits for half my fics.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

oooooh this is a hard one yknow. I tend to love a ship very intensely for a few months and then lose interest. i guess max/daniel is the one i have liked for the longest time, although i don’t really read it much anymore because i…frankly don’t really like either of them irl all that much anymore? lmao. but yeah it’s probably them! i will also always have a soft spot for jeandre.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

honestly my jeandre opus a universe hesitant to grant us grace is not technically finished, i just left it where it was due to real life events impinging on it at the time. it’s a shame because i did love what i was doing with that fic but i can’t revisit it because it’s too wrapped up in other stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m good at vibes! good at small details that give an insight into a character or setting, good at seeding ideas and at description. I think i’m fairly decent at writing snappy dialogue too, and people tell me i’m good at writing humour too which i am always quite taken aback by but i will gratefully accept!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

long-winded sentences, not enough verbs/not making the verbs work for me, and too many adjectives. tight plotting (lack thereof). getting a bit too forensic in my sex scenes.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do it occasionally when i’m writing people whose first language isn’t english, but i don’t speak any other languages well enough to be confident in using anything other than the odd word or phrase.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ah, i’m ageing myself here… It was for placebo, on the fan forum they had hosted on their own website (god bless them, no wonder i’m so chill about the concept of RPF) around 20 years ago when i was 14. i learned a LOT from that forum. placebo are indeed largely to blame for stoking my degenerate tendencies at an impressionable age. good for them. the first fandom i wrote for on AO3 was in 2018 and it was F1.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

aghhh it’s hard to choose but i think it has to be all the blood runs hot before it’s cold, the toto/christian madness. it took me such a long time to write but i feel like i really achieved what i wanted to with it and caught the weird psychosexually unhealthy vibe i was aiming for. i’m also really fond of playboy in the grotto, the landoscar watersports porn. it was my first time writing them and it kicked off an obsession. piss kink is my holy grail kink and i just found this so easy and fun to write, and i think you can tell that i had fun from the writing.

WHEW. well done if you read all this. i think probably most people have already filled this in but if you have not and you would like to i am tagging @lost-decade @scenetocause @zeraparker @boxboxlewis @flawlessassholes @beechersnope

(edited to fix many typos)

[sga-owns-my-soul]

S T I C K for the ask game 😝

ask game

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

i have a lot lmao but my personal favourite is that ronon and woolsey are DEFINITELY married. have you seen them they are husbands and in love.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

elizabeth and steven are in love, atlantis is sentient, and john rodney and atlantis have a very weird three way relationship thing going on that no one else wants to even try to understand and you can pry these headcanons out of my cold dead hands

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

nope! not yet at least lmao i did leave tumblr in like... 2016ish partially because the phandom was getting insane but i didn't leave the fandom or stop like dan and phil (i met dan a few years ago!) and i don't think there's anything tumblr could do to make me stop liking stargate 😂😂

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

honestly i don't think any? i don't want to say there's anything i'll never ship because a good fic can convince me of a lot. i would say mckeller, but i liked them when i was a kid so i can't say i've never liked them. idk, shipping is fun and i like enjoying lots of different ships

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

okay so i read this question and my brain IMMEDIATELY started screaming about rodney mckay so. him lmao he just!!!! he comes so far and i'm so proud of him because he tries so so hard!!! and it's just, it's so insane to me if you look at the difference between rodney at the start of the series versus the end of the series. and how quickly the changes start!!! like in the first few episodes of atlantis you can already see such huge changes in his behaviour because he finally has people who actually believe in him!! who actually care and are actually giving him a chance!!! god i just. fuck i love rodney mckay so so much i literally could talk about him forever

[f1-birb]

I know we talk about Jon's dad defending Lando on social media a lot, but seeing Oscar's own relatives needing to defend him already when he hasn't even participated in an actual F1 race yet just makes me sad. NOT because he doesn't deserve the support and defense (he absolutely does), but just the differences in the things they have to defend them against. Basically every "Jon's dad" comment I have personally seen has been him debunking some "Lando sucks! He has no race craft and will never win a race" comment or some weird conspiracy theory claiming McLaren favors him and sabotages Dan. Very rarely was it ever actually attacking who Lando is as a person. Most of the comments I've seen Oscar's relatives respond to are personally attacking him and his morals - calling him a punk, a thief, talking about how he and Webber are schemers who betrayed Daniel, talking about how he betrayed his entire country, etc. I don't know, I honestly just feel sympathy for Oscar in how his welcome (or lack thereof) to F1 has been. He has had several influential people slandering him and who he is as a person since summer break, and now a toxic portion of a fan base slandering him and who he is as a person (and mostly just parroting the things those Alpine higher-ups said), and the way Oscar has carried himself through it all takes, imo, a lot of character and morals. I'm NOT going to get my hopes up because the universe has a weird way of crushing my hopes and dreams as a McLaren fan ( 💀😭 ), but I honestly hope 2023 is full of good things for both Oscar and Lando, and gives both opportunities to prove their doubters wrong. I have a feeling, even if it takes a while for him to adjust to F1, Oscar will prove himself to be a great talent as well, and I hate that both of these drivers have received so much frankly, unjustified and unwarranted hatred and vitriol, sent their way.

I've said it before and I'll continue to, this is why I don't look at comment sections and why I don't have twitter. The level of unnecessary venom aimed at drivers and teams is just upsetting and 96% of the time unwarranted (leaving that 4% for when it's validly calling them out on shit they should be called out for)

The way Oscar has conducted himself through this whole thing, literally since the Alpine tweet announcing him, has been extremely professional and he's 21. He's 21 and he's been more mature about it than some other people involved (looking at a particular OS in Alpine....) and I've been really impressed by it. I'm also glad his family is so supportive and looking out for him

Unfortunately he's replacing a fan favourite who brings with him a fan base that's half chill and understanding, and half willing to burn the entirety of the sport to the ground for slighting "their" driver - he was always going to get the nasty comments. Obviously that doesn't make it right or acceptable, but it isn't surprising to me at all and I'm glad that he seems to have a support system in place to help him manage it until it calms down. I'm hoping that with a certain other Aussie not leaving the sport entirely and seeming to get exactly what he wanted out of his RB deal, the hatred will relax a little next season

I can't get my hopes up too high, 21 into 22 has taught me NOT to do that lol, but I'm really looking forward to seeing Oscar at McLaren and seeing how him and Lando work together, and I'm hoping more for Lando's sake than the team's really that he doesn't have to carry McLaren basically alone again

[sisterdaniellasgayawakening]

list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

I'm gonna do another one bc I love talking about my interests woo!!

1. Playing videogames! my favourites are Zelda BOTW (I love it sm that, even though I've nearly completed everything, I still play it and try to live like a local at the towns) and Hades (I've had it for 2.5 years and I've only defeated Hades like 6 times... I absolutely love it though, it's so beautifully designed, the music is wonderful and it's so fun to play!! the friendship/love storylines are brilliant and it's so clear that the people who made it cared so much about making it accurate to the myths!)

2. Drawing! I love drawing celebrities and characters I like, and even tho it takes a lot of time it feels so rewarding :) i wanna to improve more tho so I can draw dnp, bc I need to draw them in order to function (also I haven't shared the doodles I did during the pcrf livestream so I might do that soon!)

3. being a nerd, honestly haha! I love ranting to myself about geography and history and trivia (maybe I should talk more about all of that on here?) I love listing country and capital city names and stating my opinions on flags, etc etc!! it's just so fun

4. Food and drink!! might be a weird answer but I love food haha. its a bit like how dan talks about food in the pizza mukbang, it's really a religious experience (except I like talking to people and reading at the dinner table while he hates others talking and phones being out)

5. the Internet!! I love love love blogging on tumblr to the little people in my phone and watching YouTube videos made by the little gay men in my phone <3

[gloomygalleon]

I wish I could do a "read more" on mobile but sadly I'm not about to fuck around with that. It's not like anyone important reads these. I just wish I had an online journal somewhere.

I'm officially on tattooing hiatus. I wish people could afford to get tattooed more but honestly not stressing about paying two separate rents (home + studio) is an enormous weight off my shoulders. I'm sad to be leaving the girls but I'm also excited to see where I go next.

Meanwhile Kristin is on job #3. She's gone from funemployed to a big girl job plus her barista jobs. I'm guessing it'll just be the one barista job on the weekends though. It's so bizarre how I'm sad to be leaving tattooing and yet I'm also happy for her and proud of her.

I'm staying the night at a friends because why not? Now that I have a lot less stress on me I feel much better mentally to maintain my relationships and I'm excited to go out and do things again. We're gonna do my nails hehehe.

I should write a to do list for the weeks that I'm off work and be as productive as I can. I wanna exercise and go for walks more. This is my favourite time of year to go for a hike!! I also wanna make more crafts. I made an ugly angel and I love her so much I wonder if I can add a photo

omg I figured it out also I added pics of Lima so one day when I look back on this I'll think she was small in the second photo too. it's so weird not sleeping next to my wife and cats tonight but I'm gonna appreciate seeing them tomorrow even more. I want Chinese food tomorrow.

Here are ten million zillion photos and I bid u goodnight, future dan

[solacium]

fic writer year in review

questions courtesy of tellmewhatyouc!

🩵 the first fic you wrote/posted this year

omg!!! it apparently was daylight (madakoha, G, 431) written for ficwip's tiny ship fleet fest 2023!

🩵 your most written fandom, character, and/or ship

oh, my god LMAO it was absolutely madara/kohaku of ensemble stars. did i write them well? probably not. but i loved them so hard.

🩵 the fic you had the most fun writing this year

fun??? i don't have fun, i write in agony.

jkjk it would be all this and heaven too (dan heng/caelus, G, 2k), that i submitted under multifandom match! clueless idiots in love is my favourite flavour of idiots in love, i giggled a lot. yes, at my own humour, like a loser. but hey, if i'm not gonna laugh at it, who is, right?

🩵 your most used tags

how much d'you want to bet it's "fluff" 😂 (or "self-indulgent")

🩵 a time you tried something new (character ship, fandom, style, trope, etc)

oh i have so many instances of this!

1) i tried a weird format for a fic reminiscent of the songfics of yore (madakoha, M, 2.3k) in which i overlap the voice of the narrator with a letter he is reading.

2) i wrote for two ships New To Me this year and have fallen in insane love with one of them

3) i translated two fics (EN-CN) and recorded a podfic for ficwip's multifandom match 2023!

🩵 the fic you’re most proud of this year

good lord. i'm not sure, hey. i wanna say iris (unfurling) (luocha/blade, G, 100) bc i managed to make it do what i wanted it to do for me, and judging by the comments, for my reader(s?) too. it's more a drabble, less a fic, but it counts, right?

mostly tho if i'm entirely honest i'm proud i managed to complete anything at all this year.

🩵 any challenges/events/etc you participated in this year (or your favorites if you don’t want to list them all)

i Actually Participated in things this year!

tiny ship fleet fest 2023

i still can't believe i made it for #ficwip5k this year!

multifandom match 2023, the highlight of my YEAR

i finally attempted ahria's 1000 word photo prompt challenge this month and it was super fun!!

🩵 the last fic you wrote/posted this year

at the point of the writing of this, it is touch (luocha/blade, 1k, T), just some simple fluff. i'm hoooping to post the NYE madakoha fic i've been writing since 2022 on NYE though!

🩵 your writing goals(s) for next year

honestly, it would be to be More Fearless, More Shameless. i can be better later, i need to learn not to stop myself first.

i would also like to write something for next year's 5k, and get at least halfway through my tarot project by the end of 2024.

[elowenp]

Dan Powell is seven years old and if he’s certain of one thing it’s that he loves stories.

Not quite the same way as Mark. Mark prefers his words drenched in the mud and grit of the reality he thinks is true.

“Doesn’t it make the stories taste bad?” Dan asks, “Doesn’t it make them grind against your teeth and cut against your tongue?”

Mark just laughs. “I can stomach it. It’s way cooler than all that unreality fluff you like.”

Dan laughs but inside he’s frowning. The stories he likes are real. It’s just that what he counts as reality and what Mark does must be very different things.

Dan likes stories about odd things. He likes stories about monsters and cults and old, old gods. He likes weird. The stories don’t have to have a hero either, Dan is perfectly happy without a happy ending, just so long as there is an ending. When Dan starts a story leaving it unfinished has never been an option. When his parents read him bedtime stories, always a chapter at a time, he picks the book up once they leave and gets through as much as possible before passing out with the book falling wide open over his face.

Dan like stories and he likes endings and he likes weird. So when he overhears some people on the subway talking about the Visser Building and the odd happenings within, he can hardly not go searching for the endings of that tale.

The next day he walks down seedier streets than any seven year old should really be walking down to get to the Visser Building. He wonders if it’s odd that he didn’t need to look at any maps before coming here. It’s probably normal, he decides, I’m just good at finding odd things.

Dan is good at finding all the stories at the school library that probably shouldn’t be available to children as young as him and no one finds that strange. This is just more of the same.

As he walks into the Visser Building an overwhelming feeling of rightness comes over Dan. This is where you’re meant to be, it whispers, stay here forever and all will be right, right, right, it sings. Dan thinks the whispers make a very good point but he has to be home for dinner otherwise his parents will worry. So he won’t stay. This time.

He walks through the corridors. Some of them feel like mazes. Some of them tilt downwards so harshly that they feel like slides. All of them are new and interesting and definitely full of stories. Dan turns on the tape recorder he stole from his Dad. Mark is always going on about how a journalist needs a good record of everything that happens and this feels like the sort of story Dan is going to need to replay to fully understand.

“This is Dan Powell recording.” he says into it, trying to sound as serious and adult as he can. There isn’t really anything else for him to say after that since all the things he’s feeling are too new and unexplainable to put words to so he just lets the tape recorder go. The whirring of it is nice background noise and Dan likes the way the machine feels in his hand. Almost as if it’s a part of his hand.

Something about that thought may be significant, but before Dan can examine it too thoroughly he’s rounding a corner and face to face with a woman about to knock on a door and holding a tape recorder just like his own.

She looks surprised to see Dan. As if Dan isn’t meant to be there. Dan thinks this is a bit unfair as the woman’s presence doesn’t sing to him like the rest of the building does so she definitely isn’t meant to be there. She looks like she’s nice though and she hasn’t shouted at Dan for trespassing yet so Dan doesn’t say that. He just stands there, listening attentively to the twin whirring of two tape recorders.

“Hello,” the woman says after a moment, cautious. “I’m Melody Pendras, do you live here?”

“No. I’m Dan Powell.” Dan holds his hand out for Melody to shake since he’s sure that’s what he’s meant to do. Melody smiles as if this is a little funny but bends down and shakes Dan’s hand seriously enough that he forgives her.

“Then why are you here?”

Dan frowns. “The same reason as you.” He gestures towards her tape recorder. “I want to know the story.”

Melody starts frowning as well. “That’s a very dangerous thing to want.” she says.

“I know. It’s okay though. Getting to the end is worth it.”

Dan feels Melody re-evaluate her opinion of him. He feels the way her eyes land on him shift until it’s a lot more like how she looks at the rest of this strange, strange building. “I think you would fit in here very well.”

Dan nods in agreement. “Thanks. You wouldn’t.”

Melody laughs lightly. “I hope you’ll forgive me for finding that to be a good thing.” Dan shrugs. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a bad thing. It just is. “I need to get back to work but it was nice to meet you, Dan.”

“It was nice to meet you too, Melody. I hope your story doesn’t end badly.”

Melody looks at Dan very oddly but before she can say anything the door she had been stood in front of swings open and she becomes too caught up in greeting the occupant to notice Dan fading back into the shadows of the Visser Building.

~

Dan ends up having to leave to get home for dinner before finding anything else important. Then he has a playdate with Mark the next day. Then he goes to his school’s very small creative writing club the day after that. Then there’s a disciplinary meeting between his parents and his teacher about the somewhat disturbing story he wrote and Dan gets grounded for the rest of the week.

When Dan finally gets a chance to return to the Visser Building all that’s left is rubble and the odd blood splatter and something else.

The something else is calling to him. The whirring, crackling, spinning of a tape recorder with nothing left to record is loud in his ears despite the fact he know no one else can hear it. His hands are too small and his body too weak to lift the rubble but he aches to do so.

“You lost, kid?” a voice asks from behind Dan. He turns to see a woman who definitely doesn’t care if Dan is lost or not.

“No.” Dan pauses so that he doesn’t sound too demanding or rude. Then, “Can I have the tapes?”

The woman’s eyes narrow and Dan is struck by how unlike Melody she looks. Melody had a kind face, all arranged in the most welcoming shape. The whole time this woman has been looking at Dan she’s kept her face twisted into something mildly disgusted.

“What tapes are these?”

Dan points to the rubble. “The ones in there. They have a story on them, I need to know how it ends.”

“Huh.” the woman says, looking at Dan like an artefact in a museum. “If you were a little older I would know a lot of people who would be interested in employing you.” She tilts her head to the side as if considering Dan. “Do you like cities?”

Dan hasn’t thought on it much before but the concept of living anywhere less full of stories than New York kind of makes him want to tear his skin off. “Yes.”

The woman’s eyes gleam with interest. “Do you have friends?”

Dan thinks to how Mark can make him laugh hard enough to snort milk out his nose and yesterday he fixed the plaster on Mark’s knee just right when the school nurse did it wrong. “Yes.”

The interest in the woman’s eyes dulls a little. “A pity. Still, far more useful than most people will ever be.” She reaches into a pocket and pulls out a card with the letters LMG on it and a phone number. “My name is Iris Vos. Once you’re old enough to be useful, maybe get a degree or something, call this number and tell them that I sent you.” She turns away from Dan a little. “That should give me some credit with the bastards.” she mutters to herself.

Dan looks down at the card. It’s in pristine condition, just like he supposes everything of Miss Vos’s must be. The numbers have an odd shine to them though and Dan finds himself wondering if there might be something interesting there. “Thank you for the opportunity.” he says, because he’s certain that someone said that after receiving a job offer in one of the TV shows his dad watches. Miss Vos nods so Dan guesses he probably said the right words and she walks off towards people in suits holding official looking clipboards.

Dan wants to know how this story ends. He needs to know how this story ends. The curiosity burns in his stomach like acid and fire and hatred and wonder and Dan isn’t sure how many years he can last before it finds a way to destroy him. He’s always loved endings after all, perhaps a little too much.

So Dan tucks the card very carefully into his pocket and spends a moment hoping fervently that one day he’ll be old enough to be useful.

[being-of-rain]

Lots of my spoilery thoughts on The Power of the Doctor! It was jam packed episode so there was a lot of things to have opinions on!

Overall, it was fun! A big action-packed blockbuster filled with cameos and fan-service, and that’s the most I was hoping for really! For me it was easily better than all of Thirteen’s season finales, and both of Sacha Dhawan’s other appearances as the Master. It feels like the plot held together better than usual too, mostly because basically all the nonsensical parts of the plot can be explained as ‘The Master did it for fun and laughs,’ which is entirely believable with this incarnation. I’ve always enjoyed Chibnall’s fun runarounds (eg. Dinosaurs on a Spaceship) more than any other Doctor Who eps he’s tried, and that fits with this ep, which really feels like a celebration. That makes sense since it’s the centenary special, something that I kept forgetting about after I had something else to call it because I just don’t care about the BBC itself jslkjsdfj.

Honestly, when I first heard the rumours that the Doctor was regenerating into David Tennant at the end I was like ‘I wouldn’t like that if it happened’- but because the rest of the ep felt like a cameo-filled madcap celebration, it actually didn’t feel out of place at all! I disagree with people who say the scene undercut Whittaker leaving (because to me it felt more at home than most other post-regeneration scenes do in their eps) or Gatwa arriving (because if he gets more than a 30 second filler scene in the coming special, it’ll be technically more of an introduction than any other new Doctor). But I can understand people not liking it from the point of view of Tennant just being brought back for the PR, or that he’s going to attract all the worst kind of fans. I’m just lucky that I have an easy time ignoring those type of people I guess.

What with all the cameos and returning characters, I was surprised to see that most of them got substantial things to do! Chibnall or someone else must have taken note of how bad that issue got in The Vanquishers. I’ve seen people say that the Cybermen attacking UNIT plot wasn’t necessary, but it made sense to me, and was positively vital compared to a lot of the plots in the last third of Flux. Though I can’t believe Dan got written out 10 minutes in, presumably to help avoid the problem of too many characters?? Can’t think of any other coherent reason to do that. He’s hasn’t done much or had much plot his entire time as companion and this was the funniest possible way to have him leave. I laughed when I started a rewatch and saw John Bishop get one of the top billings in the opening titles.

The only person who really badly fell victim to the unnecessary character syndrome was Vinder, who also had the least reason to be anywhere near this episode. He’s one of my favourite minor characters from the era so I was happy to see him, but literally the only thing he does is threaten to shoot the Master because he isn’t the Doctor’s companion so he’s allowed to. The most hilarious thing is that this is the one and only Thirteen episode that the Doctor explicitly gives a companion permission to use a gun, for exactly the reason Vinder uses it. And Yaz was right there. No one tell Vinder, he’ll be crushed. In any case, Vinder also gave Thirteen an excuse to put a welding goggles on, so he’s excused.

I was sad that Bel only got the smallest possible reference, since she was such an important part of Vinder’s character in Flux and I love her too. And even more so with Ryan Sinclair (who’s still probably my favourite of Thirteen’s companions)! Felt so weird that he was missing while all of Thirteen’s other companions were there- I hope it was because his actor couldn’t/didn’t want to, because if I found out Chibnall arbitrarily just didn’t want to include him I’ll be mad. Grace O’Brien didn’t get a reference either, which wasn’t strictly necessary but did irritate my liking of bookends in a series, considering she was such a huge part of Thirteen’s first episode.

But I did love who did return. Graham and the Martin Doctor got the biggest cheers from my brother and I while watching the episode, I was so hoping they would make an appearance. Shame that it was an AI Doctor rather than the real thing, but it was still an absolute joy to see her appear for what I assume was the most amount of time since her first episode (which is still a massive highlight of Thirteen’s era).

When the AI Doctors turned up I did worry it was going to be The Vanquishers all over again, but they worked really well as simple plot propellant and fan service with Tegan and Ace rather than completely overshadowing everyone. Weirdly the Five and Tegan conversation touched me a lot more than the Seven and Ace conversation, even though the latter is a relationship that means more to me (although Seven referring to Ace as his child was so touching). It was maybe because of the episode aggressively ignoring all EU (surprisingly even the SJA retcon of Ace running a charity, which doesn’t get a mention), which I saw coming and didn’t really bother me, but still made the Ace and Doctor relationship a bit less meaningful to me when they have SO much more history in whichever branch of the EU you want to accept. Also so many authors seem determined to say that Seven and Ace left on bad terms huh. I think they liked each other actually, and Ace went to Gallifrey with good memories.

The plot itself of the episode was great fun! Can’t wait to see all the Game of Rassilon fans to say that their podcast did it first, which is very fair jsdlkjf. So much of the plot seemed to be solely devoted to the Master getting to dance to the song Rasputin while dressed as Rasputin, and it was 100% worth it. Sacha Dhawan is just as fun as I could have hoped in this episode, and honestly steals the show. Him becoming the Doctor was a wonderful plan fit for a final episode like this, was executed very well, and given so much delicious flavour by the Master’s line “don’t let me go back to being me.” Plus I saw someone point out that it’s basically just the Master’s plan from the TV movie, which I’m always here for. And the “dress for the occasion” reference was icing on the cake. (Although here’s a nittiest of nitpicks: the Master described forced regeneration as “the ultimate sanction for breaking our laws,” when it clearly wasn’t. When they did it to the Doctor, it was after the Doctor bargained them down, and in the same episode they straight up erase some dudes’ timelines.)

Unfortunately the final showdown and mortal wounding of the Thirteenth Doctor was one of the episode’s weakest scenes imo with lots of missed potential. The quaranx is a generic mcguffin depicted as an unremarkable CGI light ball, and could’ve been so much more. Sounds like a lot of people including me drew a link between its child form and the Timeless Child- why didn’t it stay in its child form later to reinforce that link, which was a heck of a lot more visually striking anyway. The Doctor telling the creature to destroy the cyber-moon, something it could’ve done all along, could’ve been so much better framed as the Doctor convincing a child to embrace their power or fight their fear. And the Master suddenly taking control of the random laser beam wasn’t built up to either, which feels like something that should’ve been established considering the Doctor dying is rather an important part of the episode. Think of the Doctor being mortally wounded because she wouldn’t give up trying to save a little girl, even though she knew the risks.

Anyway, a touching end to Thirteen’s Doctor. I can’t honestly say I was moved to tears by her departure; I always felt like Jodie Whittaker could’ve done more with better scripts, and the fact that she was avoiding confiding things in Yaz this episode shows she didn’t too much over her lifetime (I laughed Tegan being faced with that awkward repression, because her Doctor was exactly the same). Although Yaz and the Doctor being so upbeat and hopeful at the end felt like a great pay-off to all this Doctor’s talk of hope for the future, and probably added to the reason I wasn’t so sad myself. I’m similarly touched but not awfully upset over Yaz leaving, sorry jskldfj (her showing off her firearm training sure is one way to end her run of avoiding any police discourse during the late 2010s/early 2020s, thanks Dr Who). But it was emotional to see them both agree that it’s time for Yaz to leave, because continuing just wouldn’t be the same for either of them. It’s nice that all of Thirteen’s companions have left because the time is right, after the RTD and Moffat eras seeming to think that the only possible exit was tragedy.

Anything else? Obviously, seeing all the past Doctors was a real treat, and Seven and Eight bickering made everything worth it. Like I said, the episode felt like a celebration, and the next episode being part of the 60th anniversary makes it feel like the celebrations just keep going! Only thing I have to be bitter about is that the 50th anniversary was an emotional tale about restoring Gallifrey, and now we’re going into the 60th with it destroyed again (still easily the worst story decision in Thirteen’s era). And it’s a shame to wait a whole year for more Doctor Who, but I’m really hoping that after that the waits between seasons will become more regular.

[batfamcraze]

Maybe it's me but I think what I like most about Damian is how much I don't like him. You can tell DC Comics is going for a redemption arc for him and we're really beginning to see him grow into a good person and fine young man. And they're doing it right. They're showing his growth rather than telling us. Damian is still making mistakes and still is rather standoffish, but he's getting there.

He's the one you want to root for and he's hard to love but I'm so excited to see where they take him. So glad your blog is heavily dedicated to him. (And thanks for the follow too!)

Damian is my favourite Batkid and my favourite Robin. I like all of the Batkids fairly equally, but Damian is my #1 because his story and character is so appealing to me! (I also acknowledge DC's problematic treatment of him and the Al Ghul family at the same time of course)

I read Damian's comics when I was around 13 years old and I thought he was the coolest bitch. I loved that iconic introduction of him saying "Father, I imagined you taller." He's wished to meet his father his whole life and that's the first thing he says to him? Amazing.

While I understand that you like Damian and I agree with your statement, what a lot of people don’t know is that Damian’s current redemption arc in Robin (2021) already happened in Robin: Son of Batman (2016). 

In Robin: Son of Batman (2016), He leaves Gotham for a year to travel, and calls it his “Year of Atonement” (to atone for the crimes he’s committed), it's about Damian not wanting to kill people anymore and become a hero like his father is. (And I recommend you reading it honestly, it has such a strong hold to my heart!)

There are a few comics that include Damian’s redemption arc like Batman and Robin (2011) I think, and more that I'm probably forgetting. (I need to re-read Damian’s comics again honestly, because my memory is a little poor because of how long ago I read them lol!)

From what I remember in the New 52 continuity (It was the current canon at the time I read it, so, yeah I’ve been a Batfam fan for a LONG time lol), Damian was a solid member of the batfamily, and was a good hero/sidekick. At some point he stopped being an assassin and became a new addition to the family.

Now you ask: “So Damian already had a redemption arc, and they’re doing it again?”

And my answer is: “YES! That’s weird isn’t it? Congratulations! You accidentally discovered a problem I have with DC too!”

Please bear with me, I’m going to give context as to why Damian is going through another redemption arc, and share my thoughts on Robin (2021) under the cut lol:

The problem with Robin (2021) imo, is that Damian already went through a redemption arc. The reason why DC is doing it twice, is because DC’s ex-ceo Dan Didio (Whom I greatly detest, caused many problems with multiple DC characters), planned to turn Damian into DC’s newest and biggest villain for their canceled continuity that was planned after Rebirth, and to take place after the Dark Knights Metal event. The new failed continuity was going to be called 5G (Stands for Generation 5). It got cancelled because the executive team had disagreements with directions that multiple characters had, as well as hating the idea of a time jump that would be a part of it (Damian was apparently going to be 18!). You can read more about it here in Article 1 and Article 2. (There are multiple posts that could explain 5G better here on Tumblr but I hope I tried lol)

Didio is also to blame for DC having multiple continuities like New 52, Rebirth, etc. So if you're mad about DC being confusing and having their timelines restart frequently, blame it on this guy lol (Thank god he doesn’t work there anymore). Currently, we’re in the Infinite Frontier continuity, but it’s not actually a reboot like the past two so I let it slide ig, because Infinite Frontier is technically a continuation of Rebirth. (If I'm wrong about Infinite Frontier lmk, but my point still stands because I hate Didio for creating New 52 and Rebirth lol)

While 5G was in the works before it got cancelled and Didio got replaced by Jim Lee, Damian was in multiple comics that was going to explain his new path to villainy for 5G. His fallout with the Teen Titans he led in Teen Titans (2016) because he didn’t have faith in the justice system anymore, dealing with the trauma of Alfred’s death, attempting to kill KGBeast because of the attempted murder of Dick, Dick not remembering Damian and turning into Ric, were some of the reasons for his new path. (Source here and here)(I apologize if some details are wrong)

Because 5G was planning on making Damian a supervillain, DC wanted to give the Robin mantle back to Tim. (Despite Damian being Robin for about 15 years, which means Tim hasn’t been Robin for about the same length)

When 5G was cancelled, Williamson was then given Robin (2021) and he had to write Damian’s redemption arc, which is where we are now. If it weren’t for DC trying to change Damian’s story and ruin his character. *cough* *cough* racism. 

And the ideas they had for 5G that they didn’t want to throw away, gave us 5G’s leftovers known as Future State (2021), Death of the Justice League (2022), and the Batman comic with Tim as his Robin that recently got announced (writer Chip Zdarsky). Even though Bruce is supposed to “die” in Death of the justice League? ... 😐

*Apparently, James Tynion IV didn’t like 5G either, so he decided to write DC vs Vampires (2021) instead. Lol the more you know! ✨ (Source here)

To summarize: Tim was going to be be the new Robin for 5G, 5G gets cancelled, now we have both Tim and Damian run around as Robin in Infinite Frontier because of their failed attempts of changing Damian to a supervillain, and have Tim replace him. Now Damian is going through the same arc he already went through because of their idiotic decision. (Side note: If you were wondering why they’re both Robin currently, that's why!) 🙃

*This is not a hate post for Tim. I don't hate Tim, I actually like him! I’m pointing out the fact that DC is racist, and that they’ve been pushing Tim to be Robin recently, because he's white and he hasn’t been Robin for 15-ish years. Don’t misread this post please.

So... After all of that context (which was very much needed), I’m going to finally talk about Damian in Robin (2021) lol. 

First of all, I don't have a problem with Robin (2021), I don't fully hate it! There are a few parts that I like, the Lazarus Tournament was a pretty cool idea tbh and the writing is decent. But I don't think I can ever love it, because this comic is a reminder that it wouldn't exist if DC weren’t racist, and that Damian would be on the same path he was on before all of this bs. This comic has elements from Damian’s past comics that, imo, has been handled better.

I’m sorry if you like this comic and that I probably ruined it for you, but it’s completely fine to like this comic and still be aware of the sabotage he went through! If DC sees that Robin (2021) is successful, then they will surely regret their past actions and never attempt to give his villain arc a second try in the future (If DC tries again I will fight them)! I understand why someone would like Robin (2021) because non-Damian readers aren’t aware that he’s no longer that snotty brat that fanon thinks he is. Yea, Damian can be arrogant and childish, those are his flaws after all (and he’s still a child btw, and flaws are very much needed in a character. And I don't like flaw-less characters because they bore me lol), but he's WAY more toned down after Robin: Son of Batman (2016) and Batman and Robin (2011). Damian was already a developed good person before Robin (2021).

Without further ado, here are a few of my fav random panels of Dami’s past redemption arc that I love:

Damian's new friend Maya, helps him realize his potential to become a hero  💚♥️

Maya tells Damian that she forgives him for killing her father Morgan Ducard.

Damian was sent to kill a den of demon bats(?) in a cave, and sees a baby demon bat. When Damian tries to force it to fight back, it licks his nose, and Damian cries. This is how Damian meets Goliath ♥️. This scene represents how Damian saw himself in the demon bat, because he also had no desire to kill when he was young, but was forced to his entire life. Which is why he breaks down (including my own heart). [These pics are from Robin: Son of Batman (2016)]

I apologize if my reply was not at all you were expecting LOL, but I was going to make a post about DC’s failed 5G plan, and I thought why the hell not? I’ll do it now since it affected Damian A LOT!

“He's the one you want to root for and he's hard to love but I'm so excited to see where they take him. So glad your blog is heavily dedicated to him.”

Oh yes I absolutely agree! I’ve rooted for him on Day 1 and there aren't enough people on the Damian Wayne Defence Squad like me lmao. And thank you so much! That really means a lot! 💕 (I’ll also strongly defend the other Batkids too btw, I appreciate all of them lol)

Thank you for sending the ask! 💕 

[luciferloveschloe]

goodbye, lucifer (but not really!)

I cannot BELIEVE that I just watched the last episode of my favourite show.

I usually cram everything I have to in tags under gifsets I reblog, but for this final season I'll go through the pain of actually writing shit down. I'll try to keep it short, and I'll try not to ramble. (Edit: Did not accomplish that.)

what i loved

SCREAMS

God, soooooooo much!!

Deckerstar baby

Okay, so when Rory showed up in the trailer I was like "Ugh, another annoying angel? Meh." FORGIVE ME, my sweet murder child! Of all the things I thought they might do, a Deckerstar baby was DEAD LAST on my list. And a daughter no less, I just... When she says she's Lucifer's daughter, I was like *SCREAMS*, but when we learn she's Lucifer AND Chloe's daughter, I completely lost it. My boyfriend's on a trip with his friends this week and I'm sooo grateful for that, I made the weirdest, loudest, ugliest noises while watching this season, I ran around our apartment like a maniac, I squealed and laughed and cried and just generally lost my mind. But when she says that?? Oh my God. Also the way Lucifer reacted when Chloe shows him the pregnancy test? Straight outta fanfic.

Lucifer being a father

Oh my God?? I've always said he'd be the BEST father, and actually seeing it on screen... I love the parallel of him being ridiculously over the top with Rory at first, just like God and Lucifer in S5. The way he looks at her when he sees her playing the guitar? Their duet?? Instantly one of my favourite scenes. Them driving in the Corvette, their last day together, how he keeps her from killing Le Mec? Just murder me.

Established Deckerstar

All the hugs and kisses?? The declarations of love, the besotted looks, the absolute power couple we got? Their look from Maze and Eve's wedding, OH MY GOD???? Just, these two are so pretty and we got SO MUCH. Also, their scenes with Rory?? I just love them so much...

(More under the cut!)

Ella's storyline

I wanted a reveal for her so badly, and the way it turned out was brilliant! I loved her figuring it out for herself and calling everyone out lmao. I especially loved poor Carol returning to that room full of shocked people. They had some GREAT punchlines and gags this season, absolutely hilarious! I also love Lucifer's parting gift for her and that she finally found a good one with Carol.

Hugs, so many hugs!

That's it, that's the paragraph.

The Police storyline

As a white person who has literally never once had a problem with the police, I know this is not my place to say, but I think they did a good job? Not giving into the "a few bad apples" excuse but acknowledging that the whole system needs to change? I also really enjoyed the scenes with Amenadiel and Officer Harris, showing what policework could and should look like.

Maze and Eve's happily ever after

I'm so glad auntie Maze and auntie Eve got their happy ending! And that wedding was a bomb. Also, "You're my hell!", lmao.

Dan's ascend to heaven

First of, great to know his only torture was Belios' lack of table tennis skills. Secondly, how very fitting for the show that they didn't hand Dan his happy ending easily, that he fought and won it for himself. Him as a ghost and him as Le Mec was equally funny, and his talk with Trixie was just perfect, literally tears you guys.

Amenadiel becoming God

I mean, dude's perfect for the job! From the loyal, distant, obeying servant to a God who wants to work as a team with his siblings, who wants the Celestials to experience the human world, who hates injustice and loves fiercely? In this universe, I couldn't imagine anyone better suited to be God.

Nobody misses the case of the week

At least I don't! God, I wish they'd tried this out sooner.

The bittersweet ending

Let's preface this by saying I HATE bittersweet endings. Give me a happily ever after or else. And yet, and yet!! I think the ending they settled on is perfect. Would I have loved it if Lucifer had a life on earth with Chloe, Trixie and Rory? God, yes. Do I get emotional over him being alone in hell, again? Goddd, yes. But still. I so love that he found his calling in the end, that they reunited, and that he actually makes good on his promise from S5 to change the system. Also, I don't care if this is canon or fanon for now, but they totally spend time in heaven with Rory and visit earth whenever they like. And this would have been my ideal ending - them being free to go where they like, and I don't see why they shoudn't. It's definitely more satisfying than just traipsing off to heaven indefinitely, so I really, really loved that.

what i didn't (do feel free to skip this!)

Lucifer missing out on Chloe's life on earth and being alone in hell again. Chloe being left again.

Time travel shenanigans. I just finished Dark and that was enough of a mindfuck. Do not want to think about loops for this show, thank you very much.

Chloe felt a little too housewifey in the first episodes, but it thankfully didn't stay that way for long.

Lucifer and Chloe talking about keeping secrets for a whole episode, and then NOBODY TALKING ABOUT URIEL AND CANDY. I mean, ahhhhhhh! If you don't want to talk about it, then don't, but don't remind people of it constantly and then NOT discuss it. It drives me mad, honestly, how many times they referenced these storylines only to completely ignore them when there were opportunities to resolve them. Ahhh. That's what fic is for, I guess.

Adam. Like, why? Bye, dude.

what i'll keep with me

When someone I'd just met at my boyfriend's cousin's wedding in 2019 recommended this "funny, little show" to me that intrigued them because they were interested in finding their faith, I really didn't think I'd write all this three years later.

Lucifer is my third fandom, and it won't be my last, but it sure as hell - ha - will stay with me. I resonate so deeply with Lucifer as a character because he fights with the idea of God, fights with this concept of a benevolent father that everyone seems to believe in but never fit his experience. I come from a Christian family and studied theology, but somewhere along the lines I had to come to terms with the fact that the faith I had as a child and teenager didn't fit me anymore. I want to believe again, and maybe someday I will, but right now I don't know that. So Lucifer's journey with that meant a lot to me. I'd like to find what Ella did, I guess.

Although I never really thought Lucifer needed redemption, I loved the whole "anybody can be redeemed" message as well. And hell reform! Hell is such a weird, awful construct - speaking as the theology expert - bringing a bit of purgatory in in this universe is really fucking cool.

Also, I binged Lucifer when I was alone in hospital late at night. That experience alone I'll never forget.

So, I guess - thank you!! Thank you to the cast and crew, to the fans who campaigned for season four, to Ildy and Joe, to the writers and the directors and the people who brought lunch: Thank you so much for this incredible show. I'm not ready to say goodbye, not by a long shot, and I hope this fandom feels the same.

Yabba dabba do me, I love my stupid little show!!!

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you remember much from high school? Honestly, not really.  Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Some nice beach resort.  Can you access the roof of the building you live in? I can’t, no.  Do you know anyone who has a strong accent that is hard to understand? Yes.  If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? I’ve wanted to get ‘free bird’ since I was like 18, but I’m a big baby.

What was the last podcast you listened to? Do you listen to it regularly? Foolish Mortals. If you’re into Disney stuff, check it out. The hosts are Offhand Disney and Disney Dan on YouTube.  Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist, and why do you think this is? Like I always say, I’m Miss Pessimist. I blame it on the depression and anxiety, but also I’ve been through some rough stuff and that causes me to worry.  When was the last time you moved house? A little over a decade.  Have you ever held a gun? Did you fire it? I have. I went to a shooting range once with some friends.  Do you like simple questions or deep questions that make you think? I like a mix of both. Sometimes the questions are too deep and I don’t feel like getting into it or spending much time thinking about it. I just like being able to elaborate more than just simple responses.  How long have you been using Bzoink? For about a year.  When was the last time you threw up? Why were you sick? A few weeks ago. I had taken my first dose of my new antidepressant and one of the common side effects during like the first week is nausea.  Are you on a first-name basis with your boss? (or last boss if unemployed) I’ve never had a job.  What brand is your laptop or computer? Apple.  Would you ever wear a bright orange shirt? Sure.  What was the last thing you wrote in a word document? I have no idea, it’s been so long since I’ve used Word or Google Docs. Who do you miss and what do you miss about them? I miss my grandparents who passed away. My grandma and I were really close and spent a lot of time together.  What were the best and worst costumes you've ever worn? I like the Lucy Ricardo and Alice costumes the best.  Do you know anybody who is gay and married? No. What did you last take painkillers for? I have chronic back pain and also pain from other things. Are there any hobbies you want to get back into? Not hobbies, but activities such as being able to go to the movies and going shopping. I miss those things.  Have you ever shared a home with a friend? No. What's the craziest or weirdest place you've ever slept? I haven’t slept anywhere crazy or weird.  What did you have for lunch today and who made it? I haven’t had lunch yet, it’s 12:46AM.  Do you believe in anything supernatural like ghosts or ghouls? I believe in spirits.  How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Like four. That’s about the most I get. :/ Are you allergic to anything? How did you find out? Yeah, tangerines. I had tried a smoothie that had some in there and they were the only fruit out of the others I’ve never had before so I assume that’s what it was that caused the reaction.  What's your favourite Thai dish? I’ve never had Thai food.   Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? No.  What are you going to do when this survey is over? Watch some YouTube videos and scroll through Tumblr until I fall asleep. I might even do another survey.  Have you ever been on a date with someone you met online? How was it? No. What colour is the rug in your living area? Brown.  Do you call it a couch, sofa, lounge or something else entirely? Couch.  Who is your favourite character on Friends? I don’t have one, I never could get into that show.  When was the last time you used a pair of headphones and what for? It’s been a couple weeks. I haven’t been able to use them because they won’t connect anymore for some reason. :/ Describe the temperature of the area you're in right now. It’s currently 64F.  Who was the last very physically attractive person you saw? Alexander Skarsgard on my dash.  Have you ever had teppanyaki? No. How long does it take you to get ready before you go somewhere? Nowadays it takes at least an hour, sometimes a little more. Do you find it difficult to get rid of material possessions? I find it hard to get rid of most things.  What sort of games do you like to play? I like various board games, video games like Mario Bros, The Sims, hidden object games, some word games, and card games. What was the last candy you ate? I think M&Ms.  Have you ever been hit in the face? What's the story? Yeah, with one of the rubber balls in elementary school.  Do you know anyone who is deaf? No, but I know a few people who are hard of hearing.  Name one thing on your bucket list. Traveling to several different places. 

[natigail]

You know what gets me the most about that video? It’s them. We haven’t seen much of them together this year, and I honestly respect that but it doesn’t mean that you can’t miss the way things used to be. We were spoiled when there were gaming videos and regular Dan videos. But at the same time, I feel like this transition period is such a good thing. Phil’s videos this year? Some of my favourites he’s ever made. The few times Dan had popped onto the internet to talk about the book that he cares so much for? Inspired. 

It feels like we’re growing up next to them and they are going through quite a growing spurt right now, but that doesn’t mean that thing that made them so captivating in the first place has disappeared. To slightly modify dear Dan’s words: “it’s nice to know after all these years they’re still fucking weird”. Like they have changed and grown but that weirdness? It’s still there, potentially even more. 

Coming out looks so good on them. It makes my heart beat in a way that I didn’t even know it could. It’s part excitement and part comfort. I see them living their authentic and happy life together and I just feel so safe. These two men were just silly YouTubers to me when I first stumbled across them but now? They’re content creators that make me laugh and smile but also make me properly think and reflect. They help my own creativity by just showcasing theirs. They help me feel more comfortable with my sexuality by always being so welcoming and accepting, even before they came out. They make me feel like it’s okay to have those shitty mental health days, we’re all going to get through this. 

I look at their relationship and every label you can throw at it - none will really stick, none will every capture the pure essence of what they have together because it exists somewhere between words but not beyond understanding. You can see the love they treat each other with. When you know their whole story, you can see how far they have come. 

It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to see it in person, even if I personally never doubted that it was happening in their domestic little bubble all this time. A love like theirs seem steady, built between banter and light teasing but also soft smiles and quick protectiveness. It feels nice when they invite us in. Even more now that they have confirmed what had only been things we’d been reading between the lines up until last year. They are each other’s first warriors but they lower their shields for us.

This video felt like the first VPMO in some ways, since the format is so similar but there was something lighter about it. The laughs were more plentiful from Dan, Phil was smiling in almost every frame and the jokes flowed so unrestrained. I adore that they know to set boundaries and work on things that they want to work on, but I also deeply appreciate that they will put out something to “give the people what they want”. 

They know we’re here, even through the ebbs and flow of activity, we stay and support. They are aware of the world they have made, the community they had created, and while communication isn’t always smooth, it does always feel earnest. 

Thank you, boys for this video. It will be a new comfort video for me. 

P.S. Phil can pull off any of those outfits. 

[te-quiero-verde]

Okay here we go: my answers to ALL of the asks I reblogged 🙄

Thank you SO MUCH @ginny-lily 🙄

This was so fun 🙄

Describe your favourite shirt

Don't care about clothes enough to have one

If you could, would you change your eye colour?

No

Name of an artist you think is underappreciated

Emy Taliana

Favourite flower?

Dandelion

Preferred type of weather?

Storms

A poem you think describes your closest friend?

Hmm let me write one: PURE EVIL. BUT I LOVE HER. THE END.

Do you keep your fingernails long or short?

Short (for climbing)

Favourite sea animal?

Don't have one (it's not sharks. I don't have favourite animals)

Favourite land animal?

Again, I don't have favourites. I have absolutely no preference for birds, moths and shieldbugs. I love all animals equally.

Are you religious? Spiritual?

Religious? No. Spiritual? Not really

Can you fold a fitted sheet?

Umm? I can fold sheets?

Are you part of the lgbt+ community?

You know what? I think I might be xD

What's saved as your phone's lockscreen?

Do you thrift?

That's an American word. I'm skipping this question

What's your natural hair colour?

Brown

Have any pets?

No

Would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

Already vegetarian; would consider going vegan one day (but would probably fail)

An animal you wish hadn't gone extinct?

Uhh, all of them?

How many languages do you speak?

English and un-fluent Spanish

Do you care for clothing brands?

Not at all

Favourite scent on a person?

Coconut? Or nothing?

Have you ever been camping?

Yes, many times

Do you play an instrument?

Used to play the piano

Gold or silver jewellery?

Gold

Any piercings or tattoos?

No but I wanna get tattoos! And maybe get my nose pierced as well

How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?

One

Would you ever want to play a game on television?

I'd be too scared of getting things wrong on a quiz game, but things like Total Wipeout (do people know what that is??) look so fun!!

Have you ever lived on a farm?

No

If you had the option, would you choose to move to another country?

Of course! I'd go and live in Rome with my sister!

Relationship status?

Single

What is your best school subject?

Spanish or English

Any unpopular opinions?

As you know, my opinions on food xD

Another name you think would suit you?

I've been told my name suits me very well?? But imagine if I was called Moon or Rain or Ocean...

A subject you enjoy learning about?

Ancient Siberian tribal rituals involving fly agarics 😏

A -core you enjoy?

Is it just me who doesn't understand all this aesthetic stuff?? I don't know 😂 I really don't know

An TV show you used to love? (AN TV SHOW???? WHAT IS THAT???? ARE THERE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO DON'T REALISE THE LETTER 'T' IS A CONSONANT???? IT'S *A* TV SHOW)

My parents never let us watch normal kids' TV when we were little, so all we used to watch were cartoons like Tom and Jerry and Bugs Bunny 😌

Any interesting family stories?

This is the best I can come up with:

You know those blocks with letters of the alphabet on that you have when you're little to help you learn how to write? Well apparently my dad used to spell rude words out with them 😂😂 and of course I had no idea what they meant so he could get away with it (he is just generally the most immature person ever. 😝 For example, EVERY time we eat melon he makes jokes. Every time anyone mentions buttering toast he makes jokes. Every time anyone says or does anything remotely innuendo-sounding, he makes jokes. And honestly I love him for it 😂)

Do you wear your socks mismatched?

I prefer to walk barefoot everywhere, but yes, when I have to wear socks they're ALWAYS odd

Your thoughts on magic - does it exist?

Maybe... ✨

Form of art you enjoy doing?

I can't art 😝

Any sideblogs?

Nope

YouTubers you enjoy watching?

Jonna Jinton, Keara Graves (IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, YOU MUST WATCH THEIR VIDEOS!!!! THEY'RE AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH), Dan and Phil, Frank James, and my group of cringey American YouTuber friends (the AMP squad)

Do you have a type?

I can have more than one type right? I love people with red hair, goths, weird people...

Twin beds, queen, or king?

Queen? I think?

Do you have strong feelings against the colour pink?

No

A food you've never tried?

I don't think I've ever had steak? And I probably never will

Dogs, cats or fish?

Dogs

Do you collect anything?

Let's just say I went through a phase that I'm not proud of, and I may or may not own about 30-50 lip balms 🙈

Earbuds or headphones?

Headphones

Jean jackets?

I... have nothing against them? But I've never owned one?

Have a job?

Nope, too lazy 😇

Kill the spider or take it outside?

Make cute eyes at them and tell them how adorable they are, then either leave them to it or take them to my room

Do you think you can sing well?

Amazingly 😉

Favourite flavour of gum?

Mint?

Shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? (that should be a semicolon 😜)

Enter Sandman - Metallica

Icecream or cake? (ice-cream!!! Hyphens exist!!!)

Cake

Can you do your own makeup?

Nope

Ever written fanfiction?

Surprisingly, yes

How many blogs do you follow?

341

Do you brush your teeth before you eat?

You mean before every meal???? I don't do that! But I normally brush my teeth before breakfast

Type of phone you have?

Samsung Galaxy S20 5G apparently

What's your first choice at the vending machine?

BBQ Mini Cheddars (or crisps, to be less specific)

Beach or pool?

BEACH

Least favourite condiment?

I don't know? I think I love them all?

How much sugar in your tea/coffee?

None because I only drink chamomile tea

Ever broken a bone?

No

Rings or necklaces?

Necklaces (but I very rarely wear jewellery because I forget it exists)

Do you still play Minecraft?

I love Minecraft!!!! But I usually only play it at Christmas

Ever ridden a motorcycle? (MOTORBIKE 😡)

No

Favourite holiday?

Christmas ^^

Opinion on 3-in-1 body wash?

What is this question?? 😂

Practical, but I don't trust it

Do you follow politics?

Not really. I like taking online quizzes though so I've done this a few times, and that's as far into the world of politics as I'll go xD (WHY AM I NOT FURTHER LEFT??? I SHOULD BE FURTHER LEFT?? THIS CONCERNS ME??)

Your instagram handle?

I'm not sharing it on here! I've been thinking about giving you my normal insta though, Fransiska (if you want it)