#make the active effort of changing behaviors and habits

[khaire-traveler]

Hey, you're actually supposed to change, and especially when you've gone through something traumatic, it's nearly impossible not to change. Going through something horrific doesn't automatically mean you've "changed for the worst". Making a mistake due to the trauma you've experienced doesn't automatically mean you've "changed for the worst" either. Sometimes, shitty events cause us to do shitty things, and while that's something we should aim to change, it's important to recognize that you're not an evil person for fucking up. You're not irredeemable. You're not a monster. You're not unworthy of friends or love. Try not to hold these mistakes over your head for the rest of your life; it's just not worth it and doesn't benefit anyone, actually - most importantly, it doesn't benefit you.

And if you've changed once, you can change again anyway. Who's stopping you?

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

women in male fields

fratboy!jaehyun x reader

summary: you’re fully aware you’re dating a reformed fuckboy/fratiest fratboy to exist but that doesn’t mean he can get away with acting like a douche without a taste of his own medicine… OR the 3 times sweetheart finds herself acting like a fuckboy and the 1 time Jaehyun calls her out

word count: 3.5k

warnings: swearing, fuckboy behavior, mentions of alcohol, Americanized college described (l'm American), pet names (sweetie, sweets, sweeteart, sweet girl) in order to avoid using y/n, Imk if I missed anything!

a/n: there was something completely magical in my Chili’s triple dipper because I sat down and pounded this out for 4 hours with minimal breaks! I’d had this idea for a while but figured I’d get it out before everyone forgot about the #womeninmalefields TikTok trend. Feedback is appreciated!

Timeline-wise let’s say this is about 6 months into Jae and Sweetheart being a couple

This story is a part of my fratboy!Jaehyun universe!

dividers from cafekitsune

You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were getting into when you started dating Jung Jaehyun, one of the most fratboy fratboys to ever exist. You had been around for the parties, for the handful of nights where he overdid it and got sick, countless nights of standing by to watch him play beer pong, no dates on Sunday evenings because of frat meetings, and a couple philanthropic events. You were used to a lot of it by now. 

But your boyfriend had adapted himself so well to this role that you honestly kind of hated some of his behaviors. He had changed some habits, of course. He was no longer the fuckboy fratboy that slept around, no, he was committed to you and you alone. He made some effort into being romantic which took some work since his idea of romance was sending you a daily Snapchat for your streak with a red heart. Gross. Now, he got you flowers occasionally and your favorite snacks. His room used to be an absolute pigsty and now he at the very least he shoved his mess under the bed so you didn’t see.

Then there were some habits that didn’t change and you were tired of them. Beyond tired of them. You were tired of him passively listening, barely paying attention to you, being kind of an asshole, and just being a gross guy. So you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. If he could do all these things and you could still like him, why wouldn't he still like you?

It had started when you texted Jaehyun on a Thursday afternoon and he didn’t respond until Saturday afternoon. It had been nothing urgent, but you were still annoyed. It wasn’t the first time he’d done this. In fact, it was a horrible habit of his. He started a conversation or read a text you sent and just never responded. You knew now, based on experience and the other guys telling you, that Jaehyun sucked at texting. He would still post on Instagram or Snapchat, posting various athletes like they were his friends and promoting frat activities like normal. It was almost like he forgot that the primary function of a phone was to communicate. Good thing he was pretty!

It didn’t make it any less annoying that your boyfriend didn't care to change this habit for you though, so when he finally texted you back, you decided to give him the same treatment. Saturday came to an end and you didn’t text back. Sunday was the same and so was Monday. He texted you countless times, so many questions, random updates on his day, and asking you if you were ok or if he should send help to your dorm. So when you knocked on the door Tuesday afternoon scrolling on your phone when Jaehyun opened the door. It was pretty safe to say he was pretty confused.

“Where have you been? You didn’t answer any of my texts,” Jaehyun asked while he led the two of you upstairs.

You hummed noncommittally, your eyes not leaving the screen of your phone, “oh yeah, my phone broke. My bad.”

Jaehyun opened his mouth to argue, ready to tell you that he had seen you posting on your stories, your phone didn’t look new, and he had heard you on FaceTime with Haechan just yesterday. That you were literally scrolling through Instagram when he opened the door, but he didn’t say anything. He just pulled you into his arms, and pulled up the most recent episode of one of your shows. 

He couldn’t really complain if you were here with him now, right? You were in his bed, in his arms, laying on his chest. Everything was fine. A few days of no contact was normal and you both had a good enough relationship where it shouldn’t bother him, right? But it did…

The next time Jaehyun pissed you off was just a week later. He had proven to be a little extra clingy after his punishment of silence and that was good enough for you. It had been enough to hold you off with some of his, less than perfect behavior, until the next time he messed up. Sure, enough it was just 7 days later when he acted stupid again. And it was time for him to learn again. Sometimes he just had to learn to not do something by doing it and learning the consequences. Like a child… or a pet.

Jaehyun had had a stressful week. You knew that, he had told you about it the last time you saw him just yesterday, so you did feel kinda bad for deciding to pull this out of your sleeve now. How was he going to learn if you never tried to fix it though?

Jaehyun was pacing around his room, running a hand down his face and staring at the email that basically told him nothing from their partner sorority. He was social chair, so he was in charge of planning mixers. That’s exactly what he was trying to do! But the Kappa social chair was either knowingly being a pain in the ass or just naturally was a pain in the ass. How was it useful for Jaehyun to know when a handful of sisters all had an astronomy class?! Why did that matter when he was asking her to choose from a handful of dates he’d already chosen?!

Not only was this sorority social chair being annoying, Taeyong had been on his ass to plan some kind of sponsored philanthropic event, but everyone Nu Chi had worked with previously was being so difficult! No one was returning a single one of his emails, he spent his afternoons on hold or making calls, and just getting in contact with new companies and vendors just took so much effort. He currently had one sponsor, which was fine, whatever. But nothing Nu Chi Theta did while Jaehyun was social chair was ever just fine. Fine was acceptable for Alpha Sig’s but not for Nu Chi’s. He would need at least two more sponsors to reach the level of finery he was used to working with.

So that’s what Jaehyun was texting you about, his fingers tapping across the small screen of his phone while he put all his ranting and raving into words and sent off the text with a sigh of relief. You would talk him down, get him through his stress, and give him some advice for his problems. Then he’d feel like a new man, ready to tackle his problems with a clear head just like you always did for him. Just the thought of your advice had him smiling down at his phone while he added ‘sorry, about that. had to vent. how was your day sweets?’ and sent it your way.

On your end, you read through the long text ready to reply and give him some advice and offer your own help, but then you remembered… You remembered how just a few days ago you were venting to him about a small argument you and Ari, your roommate, had gotten into, and he showed no signs of actually listening. You went to him for a reason! He had at least 10 roommates, he never had complaints about any of them, so it wasn’t like you were talking just to talk! You wanted your boyfriend to give you some advice like you always gave him, but all you got was a “damn... Wanna order me some wings?” You had to physically keep jaw from dropping. God, he could be such a fucking guy sometimes! It was like talking to a fucking wall! Albeit a very good looking, handsome wall, but a wall nonetheless.

It was time for him to get yet another taste of his own medicine. Instead of taking the time to offer your advice or offer your help, you smirked, staring at your screen as you typed out, ‘that sucks’. Next text, ‘My day was chill, kinda hungry … send me door dash?’

On his end, Jaehyun stared at the screen with blatant confusion, watching as the minutes ticked by while he waited for some long paragraph with solutions and encouragement to be sent his way. After five minutes nothing came. The same after 10. No change after 20 and then he sets his phone aside feeling grumpy and pissy. Why wasn’t his girlfriend helping him? Did you even read his message?

And he couldn’t exactly call you out on it because it wasn’t an issue between the both of you. They were problems he had before you guys were together sure, but he liked having you to lean on now. He sighed tiredly, resting his chin atop his folded arms with a pout while staring at his dark screen and willing you to text him back again so all his issues would be just one step closer to being fixed.

His heart skipped a beat when the screen lit up and he saw the familiar combination of emojis used for your contact. He reached for his phone eagerly, feeling his heart soar at the anticipated text where you would help him solve his issues. But his face fell into a frown and he groaned out loudly at the words on his screen: ‘is my food on its way yet?’

The last reciprocation of his fuckboy energy was probably the worst. You honestly don’t know how you let Jaehyun get away with it practically unscathed, but karma was coming around now and she wasn’t merciful. It was your pièce de résistance, the cherry on top of your fuckboy sundae, your magnum opus, your masterpiece. 

To give Jaehyun some credit, it had been a while since he had dated a woman for a long period of time, or really, dated any woman at all. Maybe he had forgotten some very basic decorum and manners as far as ways to act and things to say or not say. Just yesterday you had been complaining about your professor being very vague in the instructions for your assignment, and even more vague when you emailed him to ask for clarity. “Like the instructions make it sound so simple, but it can’t be that simple if this project accounts for 30% of our grade! Like hello, is it hard to reply to an email with words that actually fucking mean something?” You groaned, running your fingers through your hair while you texted your project group chat what your professor had replied.

Jaehyun chuckled, running a calming hand down your back, focusing his relaxing touch on your lower back as his fingers kneaded at your muscles, “chill out sweetheart, I think you’re making this a bigger deal than it actually is.”

You sent him an unamused look from the corner of your eye, “chill out? Jae, I just said this project accounts for a third of my grade. I can’t be chill about this.”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your neck, then your shoulder, “are you… you know?”

Your fingers froze over your keyboard, waiting for his next words, giving him a chance to backtrack. He stayed silent and waited patiently. You exhaled, speaking in a voice that was all too eerily calm, “Am I what, Jaehyun?”

“Are you on your period? You just seem extra worked up about something kind of pointless.” He replied casually, his fingers continuing to work at your lower back. The exact area you had once confessed hurt you so bad you could barely stand in the first couple days of your period. This- somewhat thoughtful- little shit!

You smacked his hands away while you closed your laptop and gathered your things in a hurry, mumbling, “you’re such an asshole sometimes.”

Jaehyun stared at you in shock, an asshole? He was being an asshole for caring about his girlfriend’s well-being? “Sweetheart, it’s just that you seem to be making a bigger deal out of this than it actually is,” he tried to explain.

You held a hand up, silencing him, ”every time you open your mouth, you dig yourself into a deeper hole. No, I’m not on my period. Yes, it is a big deal and yes, I’m actually leaving. Good night and goodbye.”

This very conversation had been playing on repeat in your mind while Jaehyun vented to you about Johnny being up his ass about new recruits being low as he paced around his room. “I mean, it shouldn’t be solely on my shoulders if recruits are low. There are plenty of brothers who don’t have as many responsibilities as I do. Like, I barely figured out the whole sponsored mess with Taeyong and now Johnny decided to stick his foot up my ass too. Can I get a fucking break or something?!” He ranted passionately.

You stared at him blankly from your seated position on his bed, forcing your smirk to stay hidden. “Is it… you know?” You began to ask.

“Is it stressful? Hell yeah it is, I mean shouldn't we have any and all brothers taking turns trying to recruit. I mean that’s why I take my time to throw mixers, parties, and sponsored events that kick ass so that people want to join,” Jaehyun replied with a tired sigh.

“No,” you laughed softly, “is it like your time of the month? You seem to be making a big deal out of nothing?”

When Jaehyun turned to you with his eyes wide in astonishment, he expected to see you laughing it off playfully. He expected for you to confess that you were just kidding and kiss him sweetly. But you cocked your head to the side and raised a brow as if to ask, ‘what’s the problem?’

After that, Jaehyun was quick to rise to his feet, pinning you with a heated stare. “What the hell has been up with you? You've been acting… grimy for like the last month.”

You laughed in astonishment, “I’ve been acting grimy? Huh, then imagine how I feel on a regular basis!”

“You?! Sweets, you’ve been acting like a douche! Like when you didn’t respond to me for days even though you were posting like normal and you lied about your phone being broken! Like, hello! You were on Instagram right in front of my face with the same crack on your screen since I’ve known you!”

You raised a brow, holding back an amused smirk, “that’s all? I don’t reply for a couple days and now I’m a douche? Babe, you’re being like really emotional right now, calm down.”

“And that too!” Jaehyun exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at you, “why are you asking me if it’s my time of the month when I’m talking about something that’s bothering me? I want you to support me. You did the same thing when I texted you looking for advice when I was handling the whole mixers and sponsors thing.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, “well, I don’t know what you want me to say right now.”

Jaehyun raised his brows and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what the hell he was hearing. Was he in some kind of alternate universe? Had aliens come down and planted worms in your brain? What happened to his sweet girlfriend?! “Well, an apology would be really nice,” he replies while cocking his head at you.

“And have you ever apologized to me for any of that same behavior?” You ask in a calm voice.

“Wha- me apologize?! This isn’t about me! It’s about you!”

“Oh, so it’s only a problem when I act like this and not you? Got it.”

“When?! When have I acted like you?” Jaehyun asks in exasperation, eyes wide with shocked confusion.

“Hmmm. Let me think!” You exclaim before dramatically placing the tip of your finger on your chin, “just like everyday we’ve been together, you dummy!”

“Give me examples. I can’t believe this.”

“Alright, how about how I’ve had to train you like some kind of pet to learn some very basic texting etiquette? I let you get away with being a shitty texter for months and the one time I do it, you go crazy. I got used to not getting a response from you after days on end and I act like you did one time and you almost call campus security to my dorm to see if I’m alive,” you state, counting out a single finger. 

With the next finger, “I come to you for advice regarding my single roommate considering you have like a hundred of them, and what do you do? You say, damn, buy me wings? Who the fuck does that?! So it didn’t feel very good when I did it to you, huh? Did you like looking for advice only to be hit with some bullshit response and then asked for food? Which I never got by the way!”

Third finger, “And just now. Oh no, did you not like being told your issue meant nothing? Awww, mmmm, are you sad?” You pull your face into a very sarcastic sad face, “now imagine how I feel when you asked me if I was on my fucking period?! Like, have you never been around someone with a vagina? Even Mark and Haechan who barely pull know better than to ask some shit like that! And these are just three of your douchebag behaviors! Shall I continue, Mr. so called I’m-perfect-and-can-never-make-mistakes-because-that-would-be-impossible!”

Jaehyun stood speechless. Was he really that bad? Well, clearly he was. He had to admit he didn’t think he was this bad. He had been really good about adapting to his new role as a boyfriend and thought everything else that came his way was just going to be easy to handle. Apparently, he hadn’t handled it all the right way.

“I didn’t realize I was this bad, I’m sorry. Wow,” Jaehyun sighed, sitting on the bed with his folded over his mouth, “sweetheart, I’m really sorry.”

But that was another way Jaehyun had adapted. He didn’t start arguments while being hard headed, he listened when the issue was serious, he accepted wrong doing, and made changes. 

You crawled across his bed, sitting beside him and laying your head on his shoulder, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been petty. I should have told you these things bothered me in the moment instead of using them against you… but it was kinda fun.”

Jaehyun rested his head atop yours and chuckled softly, “I think I’m really glad you’re not one of the frat guys because we’d always have girls in here yelling about you gaslighting them. How did you handle me doing this for so long?”

“It helps that you listen when it matters. You’re sweet, you can be romantic, you care about me, you make an effort for me, I can tell you’re trying to be better for me even if it doesn’t all come easily for me,” you explain in a calm voice, “and you’re hot as hell, the abs don’t stop, and you keep that body nice and tight for mama, don't you baby boy?”

Your cackle rings out across his room while he jumps away from you with flushed cheeks. “Don’t… don’t talk like that. It’s totally freaking me out!”

“Come on, babe,” you tease while deepening your voice playfully, “bring me that ass.” 

You manage to grab him while he tries, and fails, to jump away. You playfully knead his (lack of) ass while grinning up at him. You pucker your lips, to which Jaehyun playfully rolls his eyes before kissing you sweetly. “I’m so glad you’re a girl because you would be an absolute terror as a guy,” he states while shaking his head and cupping your cheeks.

“I think I should rush, baby,” you respond playfully, “you could be my big, dude! Come on, bro!”

“Enough of this!” Jaehyun jokingly hisses, “I want my sweet girl back.”

“Fine,” you drawl out with pout, “let this be your lesson though, Jae. When you go low, I can go lower. And I will go lower.”

“Trust me, I’ve learned. I’ll be better at texting, I’ll be an active listener, I’ll give you advice when you need it, and I’ll never ask you if you’re on your period again,” Jaehyun nods.

“See, you’re such a great learner. Let’s go get you a treat, baby,” you smile sweetly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before taking his hand and leading him down the stairs toward the kitchen.

“I don’t know how I feel about you talking to me like I’m a dog…”

You smile at him, “you like it.”

Jaehyun raises a brow, “do I?”

You hum, grabbing the ice cream from the freezer, “yup, you have a praise kink.”

Well, if you say so…

[justchillandshipit]

I was going to post this last night, but I was tired. For Ramon to say, "The Diaz men," when referring to Chris and himself right after purposefully excluding Eddie from attending the match, makes me want to rage. The implication here is what? That somehow Eddie isn't a man. He couldn't go. (It was also clear they had not told Eddie about the chess tournament in the first place, even though he lives near them now. There is no way they should have even assumed that a parent would not want to see their own son in a tournament. There is no acceptable excuse for that. None. Also, when Eddie arrives at the tournament at Buck's encouragement, he learns that Ramon has been calling Chris his son.)

I know Minear has a habit of redeeming parents with no effort or change on the parents' part, but I don't feel like what happened last night should be the end of things with Eddie's parents. He claimed his rights as a Dad, but he desperately needs to claim his right to be treated with the respect of another human being, and yes, a man. It doesn't matter what his sexuality is. Eddie is still a man. I say this as a feminist. I hate the patriarchy, but I don't hate men, and Eddie deserves to have that respect. (That includes those who identify as trans.) People deserve the respect of their personhood.

There needs to be more confrontations. Period.

And yet another thing.

When you recall what Eddie said to Chris when he left about how he could always come home, whether it was 5 mins or 5 months etc., you really have to wonder what was being said in front of Chris. (as if he weren't capable of following a conversation.) We saw how Helena was. She wasn't outright confrontational. She was passive-aggressive and manipulative. I'd go so far as to say that she was gaslighting to get an outraged, angry reaction so she could play like she was the reasonable one or the victim. From there, she could accuse Eddie of behaving badly. And from Chris's behavior at the dinner table at Eddie's house. She has most definitely been doing the same to him. Even with the PS5, I think he gave the response that would avoid Helena being upset.

Seriously, what were they saying to Chris that he was thinking that Eddie wasn't his Dad anymore?

I swear, I really do adore and respect Tim Minear on many levels, but on this, I feel actively angry. Being a biological parent doesn't give you a free pass to do this. I'm not saying Tim should make all our firefighters hate their parents, but I think the parents should each have to put in the work with their actual children to repair the relationship. It shouldn't be Eddie's job to mend the fences he didn't break.

Eddie is a great parent. Chim, Hen, Maddie, and even Buck, if you want to include his co-parenting, are good parents. Bobby, obviously, is on the next level in parenting. They are not good parents because their parents taught them how to be good. They're good, first, because they are less selfish. Second, because they have been on the other side and know what they never want their kids to experience or feel. If any of these people do make mistakes, and they will because they're human, those mistakes don't come from the same place of selfishness. Eddie said it to Buck once, "I know you'll keep trying." That's what Eddie and the others do. They keep trying. Eddie's parents, Chim's parents, Buck's parents; I haven't seen them make the first attempt.

Lord, sorry guys. I didn't plan to rant. I just got angrier as I typed. Bless you if you stuck it out until the end.

I haven't read any post-episode interviews yet. I'll do that after this post, so some of this may be discussed elsewhere, but here you have my two cents on the matter.

[bamsara]

trod au ramble u can ignore

when i say slowburn in an enemies to friends to lovers for Trod I mean slowburn. 300k before Narinder even openly admits he cares for the Lamb, and Lamb actually opens up more than just a shield of positivity and another 100k of character growth, drama, complicated intricacies of grief and anger to communication. The Lamb has boundaries and sticks by them constantly in trod, they're not a pushover, but they don't blow up and react in explosive anger the same way that Narinder does and they are mistaken for soft by him for it, when it's him having to be the one who is constantly re-evaluating his priorities and his behavior because the lamb isn't taking shit from him, despite patience and love, and he's put in this position where he's allowing the grief and the hurt to keep hurting himself and the Lamb in the process, until he risks losing them and Narinder makes the active decision to work on himself. They HAD a healthy, wonderful friendship before, he cared for them. He still does. He wishes he didn't but god he still does.

but i dislike when characters do one change or have one realization and suddenly they're super nice. no I want them to be continuously complex. I want their bad habits and miscommunication to not instantly or quickly disappear, I want continuous effort from the wronger. do you hear me. CONTINUOUS EFFORT. that means a character fucking up again and again and relasping and changing and cursing and being like well he doesn't need to be any different because its not his fault then going back and being like. no. it was my fault. i am wronged and I am the wronger. i need complexities. Let us not forget the definition of 'enemy' in the enemies to friends to lovers here. if they start off soft then where is the growth. Where is the room for growth I want. Where is it.

they get to the processing of emotions they haven't allowed themselves to feel properly for centuries to take this friendship gone sour by betrayal, plagued by anger and hurt to something slowly blooming back into trust and care and soft until eventually its this healthy love of these uberly overpowered pair of gods

Trod bad end is when Narinder just speed runs the 'rehabilitation' part of the rehabilitation of death' and it circles back to him going feral in the head. Still an asshole? okay your lamb is gone. regret your pride and ego because the patient love you were afforded is gone forever and the last memory you gave them was not the love you could have given them but it will be the love that destroys mortality to get them back.

amnesia au Narinder is just happy to be here. no betrayal, no angst. eventually when his memory does return and he gets caught pretending he doesn't remember just so he can be sweet to them without his pride in the way will force a conversation that will essentially fix the horrific communication these two have. speedrun trod x2

Current Trod Narinder is a emo angsty bastard who's rightfully hurt at being imprisoned and (in his heart) betrayed by someone he trusted dearly (again) while Post-Trod Narinder is still a feral bastard but with truly un-constipated, true equal love for the Lamb that wears a wedding ring made of his own blood to the tune of 'i miss my wife tails' and got a praise kink

but if its not absolute hell getting to that point then WHAT IS THE POINT

and all these are mostly about Narinder but don't even get me started on the Lamb's issues. That sheep thang is hiding shit.

Except I can't talk about the Lamb's hiding issues Too Much yet unless you've been in my art streams and have seen some of my comics, then IYKYK but aaaaaaaaaaUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHG

[zyafics]

ANGRY GOD | 02

MASTERLIST (Series)

Pairing — S2!Rafe Cameron x (F)Reader

Summary — Rafe always struggled with being the only person in his head. When he meets you on the balcony of Tannyhill, everything changes. As sweet and kind as you appear to be, you turn out to be a reflection of Rafe and his dark thoughts. A burnt soul. A perfect companion. But as much as he wants you, as much as you deserve each other, something stands in the way: your relationship with JJ.

Content — angst, suggestive themes, cheating (not on each other), minor blood kink, rafe does coke, reader smokes cigarettes, toxic dynamic, obsessive and psychopathic behavior, and subtle dubcon.

Word Count — 3.9K

lıllılı Deja Vu and She's Mine Pt. 1 by J Cole

Dedication — to @cybersunnie who read it first and gave me lovely feedback, ily my southeast asian bestie <3

Rafe looks for you everywhere.

Ever since that fateful night, he had searched every room and crowd for a glimpse of your face. Most times, he doesn't find what he's looking for, and a lump of frustration curls up his throat. A wasted effort, he tells himself, to look for someone who isn't his, but he does it anyway.

He's never been good at letting go of things that belonged to him.

Tonight's bonfire is on the beach. The firepit is surrounded by keggers lined neatly along the edges, and the salty tang of driftwood smoke hangs in the air. Flickering embers roared to the sky, while the drunken crowd moved in scattered clusters, their laughter coalescing with the music as they stumble over their steps. Rafe can't help but scoff at the very sight.

He had snorted a couple of lines before his arrival. Nothing calms him down quicker than strips of white powder that substitute for dopamine, but it still isn't quite the replacement he's looking for. It may make him feel lighter, unable to feel the depth of his soul sinking like an anchor to the bottom of the ocean floor, but it's ineffective. Riffled with the knowledge that there's something better for him out in the world, something that mirrors the use of a drug, something that can save him.

You.

Rafe sips on the beer he's been nursing for the past half-hour—coke and liquor are a hangover's bitch—and his eyes survey the mass of people in futile efforts. Everyone has arrived, including those Pogue friends of yours, but there are still no traces of you. Once again, Rafe believes that you've decided to forgo the invite to forget him.

Until he finds you off in the distance.

In the corner of the world, sitting on the shore and counting waves, with your legs drawn to your chest and your arms draped across your knees. Parties have always been a troublesome endeavor for you, rekindling old memories you want nothing more than to forget, but you always find yourself succumbing to one. It's a nasty habit you're unable to break.

You had slipped away—from the masses, from your friends, from JJ—for some peace on the edge of the earth. No one seems to have noticed your missing presence. At least, that's what you believe.

Something settles at your side, darkening your solace with its thick presence, and you turn to discover Rafe. He sinks into the empty space beside you, cold brew in hand, and refuses to meet your gaze. Your heartbeat skips, alarm bells activating and cautioning you to leave, but you choose to stay.

Silence engulfs the air and despite the heavy bass reverberating through the air and the flurries of chatters from Kooks and Pogues alike, none of that seems to matter. As always, with Rafe, it feels like you two are the only people remaining on Earth, spinning on its axis, waiting.

It isn't like this with anyone else.

"You've been ignoring me," Rafe announces flatly. His stare set to the horizon of the coastline, watching waves flatten into the salt-soaked sand inches away from his feet.

"I haven't," you defend, a little too quickly, wincing at the projection of your voice. "We just haven't been going to the same places."

He scoffs dryly, "Because you've been ignoring me."

You shake your head softly, but Rafe doesn't acknowledge the gesture. You doubt he cares. It mirrors you in that aspect, knowing exactly how his mind behaves—believing his version of events to be the only correct reality. Nothing you do, or say, will change it.

It's hard to talk to someone who's stubborn.

It's worse when the person knows you too well.

Because in some ways, he's right. Several invitations to various functions have been sent, but you've opted out of attending any of them. Partly because you don't want to be in that environment. Mostly because you're afraid of facing Rafe. You had assumed it'd be an easy facade to maintain—just as the rest of your friends suspected you simply weren't into parties—but Rafe sees directly through you, like glass.

He resists the urge to look at you. Fearing if he does, he'll never stop. It isn't enough for him to be within your proximity, he wants to have you, and it's a debilitating feeling to know he can't. Blood coats his senses, and he realizes he bite his tongue too hard.

Yet, he feels the heat of your stare on his profile. Your eyes sweep over every feature, every twitch of muscle as if you're committing to memory the days you haven't seen him. Pride finds him in that regard—to know he consumes your thoughts as much as you consumed him.

He begs to be wanted.

He wants you to beg for him.

"Your bruises are healing nicely," you say softly, admiring the faded damning colors of his assault to the healing yellows that smother his skin. "That's good."

His resolve breaks and Rafe turns. The corner of his lips lifts. "You would care, wouldn't you?"

You blink in surprise, but Rafe takes it as some protest of resilience. You won't admit it, as much as you want him, as much as you need him, and the anguish seeps into his bones. unable to detangle itself from skin. "Of course I do," you stutter a reply, "I patched you up."

"But it isn't the only reason," he presses, "Is it?"

His eyes meet yours, and it rivals the first look he's ever given you. Full of scorn and disdain, Rafe had once wanted nothing more than you to be out of his sight. Now, he can't have enough of it.

It evokes honesty in you. "It isn't."

Rafe grins, taking any small victory as a celebration.

You can't take it, deciding to break contact to reach into the pockets of your shorts. You fish out the lighter and a small box of cigarettes before torching the end of the stick and inhaling a sharp breath. Nicotine slithers into your system, calming your raging nerves.

Rafe watches with amusement. He had always hated a woman who smokes. It was unorthodox, dirty, and not someone he sees himself with. But when he watches the way the puff of smoke exits your lips, the calamity smoothening your features, he's never wanted to kiss you more.

“You smoke?” Rafe asks as you lower the cigarette to your side. The butt of the blunt brushes against the grains of sand.

“Yeah.” You say timidly. “It’s a bad habit I can’t break.”

"Interesting."

"What?"

"Didn't take you as a smoker," Rafe confesses, but something in his statement reeks of judgment. As much as you hate the need to be validated by others, something about Rafe leaves you desiring acceptance.

You scramble to form an excuse. “I only do it when I’m nervous.”

“I make you nervous?”

You don't respond, but you're sure the split-second expression on your face revealed it all. Pressing your lips together, you rip your gaze from Rafe to look back to the ocean currents, raging and coursing through the tides as if a storm is brewing. You hoped this respite would dissolve the tension in the air, but it doesn't.

Thick and hot, you can't decide if it's the heat of the firepit against your backside or the idea of Rafe's close—too close—proximity to you. Your truth. The persona you've carefully crafted on the verge of collapsing.

Rafe finally understands why you don't go to parties. Even if you don't explicitly state it; it's him. The way he can read you, understand you, and make you feel. A parallel of himself in you that feels like a reflection against a pond. It scares you. It terrifies him. Yet he can't get enough of it.

You clear your throat, taking another puff of your cigarette, before returning your gaze back to him. "You left your own party again."

Is this what you want to talk about? Rafe would rather push past the small talk, but he entertains it nonetheless. At least it's something to keep you close. "It's not my party."

"Right." You hum, inhaling a nicotine-saturated breath that hisses and chars the end of the blunt. "But you left it all the same. Shouldn't you be with your friends?"

"I could ask the same about you."

"I asked you first."

"Is that how you want to play it?"

Rafe cocks his head in challenge, armed with the mockery and condescension of his dripping tone. But it's not aimed at you, but rather for you. A provocation that asks: one of us is lying here, who will it be?

"You're baiting me," you announce, digging the burnt end of the cigarette into the sand to extinguish it. "It's not going to work."

Rather than take offense from your blatant callout, he scoffs out a smirk. His perfect teeth glistened underneath the moonlight, which can almost be read as fangs.

"Smart girl too," he muses, more to himself than you, before taking a swing of his beer. Directing his line of vision towards the darkened horizon, you watch him swallow with a bob of his Adam's apple. "I was looking for you."

"Me?" You repeat. "Why would you be looking for me?"

"Don't act dumb, princess. It's not cute."

Silence stretches among you, and the only soothing sound of this moment is the cascades of water meeting sand. Your heart doubles its tempo, reconciling with Rafe's words before he pierces the quietude with another confession. "They don't care."

This time, you don't play dumb. You know exactly what he's referring to. Rafe made a bold accusation that his friends don't care about him, and you have a sneaking suspicion that he is right.

From what you heard from your own group, no one is friends with Rafe. Not really. All they want is to get out of his way, to avoid being the receiving end of his wrath. Rapport is the closest method towards that settlement. A falsehood for security. He had come to the bitter realization on his own; that no one is real with him except you.

You don't take the time to be frivolous and reassure him with meaningless consolation. You cut straight to the chase.

"Then why come?" You ask, not knowing if he'll respond. But what you don't know is Rafe would answer almost anything if it came from you. "Why attend something when none of these people care about you?"

The instantaneous reply is a howling wind from the ocean, breezing over your skin and raising goosebumps on your arms. But you remain still. Unsure if Rafe will answer, you wait until he admits, "It's better than being alone."

All the air leaves your lungs.

Your heart pumps like it's about to burst.

Because Rafe confirms what you’re thinking.

And you feel the same way.

You're certain you're in an exact predicament but you don't have the courage to voice it. The Pogues only tolerate you because you're in this relationship with JJ, but you have a sinking feeling that it's just the novelty. Something short and fleeting. Something false.

You entered it under the assumption that JJ understood you—a burnt soul recognizing a companion. But that's proven to be completely untrue. JJ may have faced hardships, but his entire network is built on camaraderie. You never had that. Neither did Rafe.

Maybe that's why you gravitate towards him.

Maybe that's why you're afraid.

"Why are you here?" Rafe prompts, turning the spotlight back onto you.

You lick your lips, suddenly dry. "The Pogues invited—"

"No, don't give me that bullshit," he snaps, but his tone lacks the bite. All it demands is truth. "I mean, why did you come this time? You've been avoiding me for a reason."

You scoff. "You know."

A cruel smirk carves the corner of his mouth, framed with an innocent dimple. "I want to hear you say it."

"And if I don't?"

"Then you're a liar, princess. Just like all of them."

Fire ignites in your chest by his accusation, reminding you closely of that night at Tannyhill, and your hands squeeze into tight fists. Sucking on the inside of your cheek, and licking the residual nicotine sticking to your gums, give you a minor boost of confidence. "I thought if I didn't, they'd stop inviting me."

You exhale a blow of air, similar to your cigarette, but a heavy weight lifts off your chest. You don't turn to meet Rafe's eyes, but you feel the heat of his stare.

Rafe grins, self-satisfaction ripples through his features in unparalleled triumph. "Just like me."

"Don't be a dick," you declare.

"I'm not trying to." He says. "It's just ironic."

"Ironic how?"

He takes a second to answer, lingering on the moment by sipping on the rim of his beer, letting a slow, singular drop fall from the corner of his mouth. "Because every party I've seen you at, you're always escaping it."

You shrink under this observation, nails buried into the sand to find grounding. "I needed a break."

"All the time?" He taunts.

You say absolutely nothing. And Rafe chuckles dryly. "The girl who always leaves the party. The boy who needs it. We'll make a good couple."

You lift your head. "Is that your criteria for a relationship?"

"No. But I'll take any excuse to have you."

Your breath stutters in your throat. From your previous interaction with Rafe, you concluded that he cuts through the drivel. But it's different this time around. Now, it riffled with the knowledge of knowing you, of wanting you.

Rafe always had a single-minded ambition, the type to chase after his goal until he captured it within the palm of his hand. That's you to him.

Morals be damned. As long as he has you.

To be wanted like that terrifies you. With your heart palpitating in your chest, you feel the urge to rebuild your walls. To add that familiar and safe space between you and him. "Rafe..." You trail off in warning.

Instantaneously, as if he can read you, he knows why.

Frowning, Rafe says, "Hm. Forget you're with Maybank."

You don't think that's entirely true.

"I should get back," to him, but that part remains unspoken.

Rising from your seat, you dust off the sheen coat of sand under your thighs before motioning to leave. But Rafe snatches your wrist. His grip is firm but loose enough for you to slip out, only begging you not to.

You look down, however Rafe refuses to meet your gaze. In fact, he avoids it, opting for the dark coastline that rivals the turbulent feeling in his chest. "Why are you with him?" He whispers against the wind, his tone seeping with vulnerability. "Why are you with him when you can be with me?"

You don't know how to answer that. "He was nice to me."

"I can be nice to you."

You shake your head. "It's not the same."

"Why not?" Rafe asks wretchedly, lifting his head to finally meet your gaze and you read how broken he truly is. Your chest tightens. His icy blue eyes warmed with desperation, and his grip around your wrist tightens, like a beggar seeking approval.

For a moment, you considered lying. It's the easiest way out. But there's no one here but the two of you. No one to perform to. No one but an audience who knows you soul-deep. How do you lie out of this one?

"I think you need me," you whisper. "I don't know how to be needed like that."

If you were anyone else, he'd feel insulted. To insinuate he needs someone—anyone—to function implies he's weak. That he's dependent on another. But Rafe hasn't felt this sense of gratification in years. A kinship that emerges from a soul recognizing a burnt soul. He can't lose that.

"Neither do I," he answers, almost pleading. "Let's try it out."

"Try what?"

"Us." He urges. "You and me."

You shouldn't, but you can't help but consider the proposal. It's awful, especially knowing you're in a committed relationship—as committed as you can be—and you try to build excuses and logic on why this couldn't work. Why it shouldn't work. But all of them fell flat.

"You hate me."

"I didn't know you."

"You called me a bitch."

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely.

"You called me a liar," you accuse, unmasking the sting from the label.

"You are," Rafe insists without missing a beat. "But I'll take it."

You chew on your bottom lip, gnawing on the raw, broken skin until you taste iron. "I don't know," you admit, voice low, chest heavy. "I don't know if I can save you, Rafe."

This time, he doesn't have a response. This time, he's rendered speechless. It's a confessional—what he truly desires from you is redemption. To possess a mirror that resolves him of his own sins.

His fingers loosen around your wrist.

"I have to go," you say softly, taking a step towards the exit.

But it isn't quick enough.

Rafe grabs you again and gives you one last tug, forcing you to land on his lap. Before you can move, he grabs the nape of your neck and pulls you close, forehead pressed against his, chest meeting the other.

You feel the rapid thumping of his own heartbeats.

"One taste," Rafe murmurs, his eyes on yours and they're pitch-black, all dissolved of his color. "Just one taste and I'll let you go."

"One?" You ask meekly, your heart threatening to spill.

"One." He confirms, reeking of the same desperation he's always been ashamed of revealing. But he doesn't care anymore. "And you can go back to Maybank and do whatever the fuck you want."

You search his face, trying to read him, but nothing but pure primal instinct coats his rugged features. He wants you—in a way that's so animalistic, he's actively holding himself back from taking more. A sick satisfaction curves up your throat at being desired by such capacity.

"Okay."

Rafe doesn't give you a moment to retract your consent before he drags your mouth down to his, silencing every pounding thought with a kiss.

Instinctively, you steel your spine from the assault before slowly unwinding. From all the venom and vile words spilled from Rafe's tongue, his mouth is surprisingly soft and tender. His kiss is rich with desire, gripped with desperation, and it pours all his silent confessions into one. Your heart has never raced so frantically but has never been this calm.

You want this.

Logic and reason chip away when you feel how warm Rafe is. How he laps over the broken piece of your bottom lip like worship, how he craves you with the depravity of a man receiving his last meal, licking you clean until you're nothing but bones.

It's intoxicating. Where has Rafe been all your life? Why haven't you done this sooner? Your mind can't find a proper answer until a slow, nauseating reminder strikes your drunken and lustful state. It's because you're taken. It answers. You're committed to someone who isn't him.

Pulling away, you breathe, "Rafe—"

"Not enough," he declares roughly, dragging your back and stealing another kiss. It's as if it's the only air he's willing to take. He demands it—it's his.

And yet, for all your stream of moral consciousness, there's little resistance.

You allow him to take you. Devour you. To suck on your bottom lip until a metallic tang is shared between you, and to feel the warm liquid ooze onto your tongue like sacred waters. He tastes so good, and Rafe's hands fall from your arm to your waist, tugging you along until you're centered on his lap. With an automatic roll of your hips, he groans, and you feel the growing erection form in his jeans demonstrating his obsession with you.

It's just one. But one kiss turns into two and three, and suddenly you can't stop. Nothing has ever felt as right as this moment with Rafe.

Pulling back a second time, your murmur against his swollen lips. "This is a bad idea."

"This is the best goddamn idea I've ever had," he breathes into your mouth, his hand straying to cup a handful of your ass under your shorts. "You taste better than I imagined."

"What do I taste like?"

"Mine," Rafe answers breathily, before cupping the back of your neck once again and aligning your mouth to his.

Addiction. Rafe is certain that's what this is. The way you rock against him, the way your body molds into his—like a perfect puzzle finding its match—he can't help but believe in fate. It infuriates him that it took him this long.

But even in a perfect moment, the illusion quickly shatters by a grating voice from the distance. Rafe wants nothing more than to ignore its bugging nuisance, but you can't seem to.

Because it's your boyfriend.

You rip away from Rafe to discover JJ's silhouette approaching the shore, searching for you. Panic zigzags through your chest and you swiftly leave Rafe's lap, brushing away any criminalizing evidence of your infidelity.

"That's one. We're done."

When JJ arrives, Rafe doesn't move. He doesn't even make a gesture to conceal the situation as JJ's eyes dart between the two of you, trying to piece together what you were doing with the Kook in the first place.

But no one reveals a thing. Not even you. You quickly apologize for leaving the party and fumble a flimsy excuse for Rafe's presence. And JJ's birdbrain accepts it, causing Rafe to scoff at the fool you're with.

When he takes your hand, leading you back to the party, you quickly accept—dragging yourself into the same space you beg to break from. And doing nothing but leaving Rafe behind.

He could leave now. After all, he came out to the shores searching for you. But there's a calamity that comes from being out here. Seeing the waters, watching the crashing of the waves. It allows him to truly think—away from the noises, away from the people, away from all the meaningless distractions.

Rafe swipes his thumb across his bottom lip, feeling the buzzing sensation left behind from your kiss, and collects a single droplet of blood. It must've spilled from you, or his bitten tongue, he doesn't know for sure. All he does is slip it right back into his mouth.

And for the first time throughout this entire night, Rafe grins. A real one. A devious one. Because he's coming to a familiar conclusion.

You parade among the people who don't give a damn about you, who don't know a single truth, and pretend you fit in their world. But you don't. You're a liar.

But as Rafe remembers the taste of your hot lips on his, the way your body fits in with his, the taste of your blood on his tongue—he realizes, so is he.

Because there's no way that is the last time he'll kiss you. That he has you. No. He had one taste and it wasn't enough.

Rafe is coming back for more.

Whether you like it or not.

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Navigation — Part 01 | Part 02 | Part 03 / End

[atthecenterofeverything]

on degeneration theory

due to the amount of discussions regarding degeneration theory, i wanted to lay out some of its basic arguments and compile some quotes by the main proponents of this theory (including the founder of its concept, the french psychiatrist bénédict morel), with a focus on its context (the second half of the 19th century in france) to better understand its workings.

warning: as might be expected, violent eugenics, racism, ableism, and extermination rhetoric as expressed explicitly by its theorists under the cut. all quotes originally in french (except nordau), all translations mine.

degeneration theory speaks of a biological basis to physical and mental inferiority. this biological basis can be and is exacerbated by one's ancestors' habits, diseases, environment, or eating and drinking patterns, as well as by new technologies and social changes occurring, and is then transmitted to the offspring in a degenerating process.

Some diseases, some intoxications, some habits among parents are capable of producing among their offsprings a constitutive state, a particular organistic state that can then be transmitted indefinitely until extinction of the race.

Bénédict-Augustin Morel (1809-1873), as quoted by Philippe Buchez in “Rapport sur le traité des dégénérescences mentales du Dr. B. A. Morel” dans Annales médico-psychologiques, 1857.

this basis constitutes a predisposition that makes one more likely to succumb to madness and weakens one's will to resist to passions (paranoia, insanity, hedonism, revolutionary ideas, etc.).

Degeneration is the pathological state of the being which, in comparison to his more direct ancestors, has his psycho-physical resistance constitutionally weakened, and which can not realize the biological conditions necessary for the hereditary struggle for life. This weakening process translates through permanent stigmatas and is essentially progressive, except in the case of inter-current regeneration; in the absence of the latter, the process results, faster or slower, in the race being annihilated.

Valentin Magnan (1835-1916), as quoted by Jacques Postel et Claude Quétel in Nouvelle histoire de la psychiatrie, 2012.

the degree of responsibility retained by the individual and the measures thought capable of resisting this process vary among degeneration theorists in significant ways. some thought reeducation possible and some did not.

Education does not and cannot have any effect on potential, dispositions, or the innate activity of intellectual, moral, and affective faculties, (because) psycho-cerebral vitality is essentially inborn. (Workers) are individuals originally vitiated by intellectual, moral, and affective defects, which are more or less hidden; the reason they are not educated is that they show reluctance to it.

Jacques-Joseph Moreau de Tours (1804-1884), La psychologique morbide dans ses rapports avec la philosophie de l'histoire ou de l'influence des névropathies sur le dynamisme intellectuel, 1859

this leads to circular logic: only degenerated individuals could act thus, which proves they are degenerated, and so is their behavior. the interdiction of homosexuality, communard activity, prostitution or alcohol, as well as a general dissatisfaction with the state of one's life or with the world, were thus often pathologized.

Great revolutionary moments only enthuse and lead to madness those who are predisposed to it, and who would probably have turned to insanity about other causes as well.

Louis-Victor Marcé (1828-1864), as quoted by Valentin Magnan in Annales médico-pyschologiques, 1857.

through this process, the general national (and racial) stock is weakened, thus expanding to the rest of the population if not prevented by eugenistic efforts (leading to Regeneration), explicitly framed as a hygienist and medical endeavor. this aimed to legitimate the social order of the french third republic by entrenching the position of the white bourgeois citizen as the rational subject (often implying that god created man as a perfect creation, who is then slowly corrupted by terrestrial influences), against among others disabled, non-white and/or working-class subjects. this also lead to the concept of "degenerate art" as used by nazis.

What happens to an individual can also occur for a group of individuals, and even spread to an entire society, to almost an entire people. (They thus form) a collective of organisms, equipped, so to speak, with their respective predispositions, united and acting on the same scene of social and political affairs.

Jean-Baptiste Vincent Laborde (1830-1903), Les hommes et les actes de l'insurrection de Paris devant la psychologique morbide, 1872.

this was also a central idea to the development of conceptions of mental illness as hereditary or not, curable or not - and to the nosology of insanity itself. you can trace many contemporary parallels with those ideas, including with people wildly removed from its ideological origins. for example, note rhetoric concerning new technology leading to a progressive weakening of intellectual faculties, adults being inexorably made slower (through appeal to neuroscientific claims) by the use of (and especially "reliance" on) these technologies, a gradual disappearance of the will/attention span/capacity to resist satisfaction ("dopamine") or hedonism, etc.

The degenerate is not in a condition to fix his attention long, or indeed at all, on any subject, and is equally incapable of correctly grasping, ordering, or elaborating into ideas and judgments the impressions of the external world conveyed to his distracted consciousness by his defectively operating senses. It is easier and more convenient for him to allow his brain-centres to produce semi-lucid, nebulously blurred ideas and inchoate embryonic thoughts, and to surrender himself to the perpetual obfuscation of a boundless, aimless, and shoreless stream of fugitive ideas; and he rarely rouses himself to the painful attempt to check or counteract the capricious, and, as a rule, purely mechanical associations of ideas and succession of images, and bring under discipline the disorderly tumult of his fluid presentations.

Max Simon Nordau (1849-1923), Degeneration (transl. by George L. Mosse), 1892.

[lakeffect]

How long do you think it would take the reader to actually fall in love with Capitano because they're in an arranged marriage? And the other way around

Starting with Capitano!

Capitano will always uphold the values of marriage and will be a model husband. He is an a generous yet pragmatic provider. Capitano will not spoil you, but he will ensure what you have is more than adequate for your needs. However, above all, Capitano is honest and loyal, he will never lie or attempt to deceive you.

At first this ideal husband behavior is more so because he respects the institution of marriage very highly and not necessarily because of who you are, though Capitano makes an effort to get to know you. He questions you about your habits and hobbies and after a while will think about how to cater to them.

Capitano actually has rather high expectations of his spouse. I imagine Capitano was pushed to marry due to his status and position, so he will want a partner who is independent, intelligent and dutiful. He will expect the same level of respect in the union that he is giving to you. The irony is that while he picked these characteristics to get a lover who will not disturb him, Capitano is deeply attracted to diligent, mindful and clever individuals. So as the reader demonstrates these traits, Capitano begins to fall in love with them, but due to their independent nature they aren't be the most receptive to the ways in which Capitano shows love, namely by being over protective and insisting on doing everything together. He's home so seldom that what little free time he has he would prefer to spend with his spouse. This becomes especially apparent the longer you two are together.

As detailed above, Capitano possesses many admirable traits which on paper make him easy to fall for, however this ignores his blunt, keen and sometimes prideful nature which depending on who you are, could rub you the wrong way at first.

He is an acute observer even without you detailing the quotidian goings on of your daily life, Capitano will start to notice and comment. He isn't necessarily critiquing, just seeing and noting. He will casually tell you about yourself which can be incredibly jarring at first, especially if you're unused to being seen by the people in your life. However...when it comes to himself, he doesn't freely offer information which can be frustrating. He wants to expose all of your inner workings, but is very selective when divulging his own. He begins to share more freely when you earn his trust, which builds slower than his actual affections for you. Capitano will come to love you before he fully trusts you. It's just the nature of the fatui that make him so suspicious and not necessarily you. He wants to trust you but years in his position have made it difficult for him to lower his guard.

Basically, Capitano appreciates a partner who is brave, self-sufficent and above all loyal. Devote yourself to him and Capitano will find his feelings changing rather soon into your union. Ultimately it takes maybe 2-3 months for Capitano to fall for the reader.

The reader in A Lady's Secret is incredibly independent and self-sufficient young woman from a modest background who knows what she wants and doesn't require Capitano's support. She is principled, hardworking, and doesn't meddle in Capitano's affairs. In fact she develops a pretty well rounded life outside of their marriage. She has season tickets to the ballet, successfully convinces Capitano to let her have two dogs (large thick furred beasts who can easily takedown wolves) and walks them around the forest to visit their distant neighbors when the winds aren't too cold.

The reader does these activities alone because she assumes that Capitano wouldn't want to join her but when he quietly questions why she doesn't invite him she starts to incorporate him into these activities. Not all of them. Capitano has no interest in visiting the neighbors, but he can be convinced to attend a quiet night at the ballet and walk the dogs in the forest. And the reader while initially worried she'd find that his company dulled her experiences, is delighted to realize that she actually prefers his accompaniment.

They definitely butted heads in the beginning when Capitano demanded that she inform him every time she left the house. She wasn't too keen on her whereabouts being surveilled, as she was used to coming and going as she pleased. Initially he was more flexible about these things but as he began to get attached he assigned her a personal body guard which had her really annoyed with him. This led to an argument where she called "smothering" and he called her "stubborn."

The difficult part for the reader early on is that she's intensely attracted to Capitano so she starts the sexual part of their relationship right away, but her feelings for him are slower to crystalize and Capitano uses this to his advantage. When you're still arguing with him about a security detail, he'll be withholding until you agree to his terms.

For someone as independent as the reader she struggles with Capitano's desire for control over her. He's not possessive per se but he is very very over protective and unfortunately due to his position he has every right to be. She just resents that she doesn't quite feel like his equal when he frets over her like this.

However, as she comes to appreciate his company, she is more permissive of Capitano's particular brand of affection which is demonstrated through ensuring her safety. Once the reader learns to appreciate Capitano's brand of care she falls for him. He is a supportive partner and an excellent listener. He is stoic and gruff but she knows from his actions that he cares for her deeply. I would say it takes the reader about 5-7 months to reciprocate his feelings in earnest.

[spr1ngpvrinbwunnie]

Hey 👋 :D mild request here, just wondering kinda. How would Harley go about you moving in together? And what were the first few day or even first week like? Was it hard for him to adjust? Because you've mentioned that he'll do things only when y'all alone at home, which implies that they live together. Would he just say "Move in with me" or something? I'm also curious as to how he'd adjust to having someone in his presence at essentially all times. It'd be cool to see some headcanons of yours as to how he sleeps the first night or just little habits he has :)

Moving in together would be a huge shift for Harley, considering his need for control, personal space, and routine. Here’s how I think it would go down:

Moving in Together: How Would He Approach It?

Harley wouldn’t make a big deal about it. There would be no romantic speech or nervous anticipation. If he decided that cohabitation was necessary or beneficial, he would simply state it in a matter-of-fact way.

Scenario 1: It could be as blunt as, “It would be more efficient if you lived here.” No flowery reasoning, just straight logic—less time wasted traveling back and forth, easier to keep an eye on you, and more control over variables.

Scenario 2: If you spent more and more time at his place, he might just… stop acknowledging your old residence. One day, you’d realize he’s cleared out an entire section of his home for you, your things are already moved, and when you bring it up, he just says, “You practically live here already. I see no point in maintaining two spaces.”

Harley doesn’t do things without thinking several steps ahead, so if he proposes living together, he has already considered every angle, including risks and benefits.

The First Few Days: Adjustments & Challenges

Harley is methodical, structured, and values order. He’s used to being alone, which means the first few days (or even weeks) of cohabitation would be a challenge for him, even if he wanted you there.

Things He Struggles With:

Lack of Complete Control: Even if he trusts you, having another person exist in his space disrupts his normal patterns. He’ll notice every tiny thing you do that deviates from his expectations.

Noise & Movement Awareness: Harley is hyper-aware of his surroundings. Even small noises—like you shifting in bed, opening cabinets, or even breathing differently—might irritate him at first. Not because he’s angry, but because he’s not used to it.

Unspoken Expectations: He expects you to pick up on his silent routines without explicitly explaining them. If you put something in the ‘wrong’ place, he won’t say anything… but he will move it back, and you might get a lingering stare that translates to, "That is incorrect. Try again.”

Things He Does to Adjust:

He mentally maps out your habits, schedules, and behaviors. If you always make tea at 7 AM, he’ll register it and start factoring it into his mornings.

He might initially disappear into his own activities more than usual, retreating into work or routines as a coping mechanism.

If he truly values you, he will make an effort—not through words, but through accommodations. A small adjustment in his rigid schedule to allow room for yours. Tiny, barely noticeable shifts in behavior that indicate he's adapting.

First Night Sleeping Together in the Same Space

Harley is a light sleeper. The first night will be awkward, even if you two have shared a bed before, because this time, it’s permanent—this is his home, his sanctuary, and now it includes you.

Possible Reactions the First Night:

He Doesn’t Sleep Well at First: He’s too aware of another person in his bed, analyzing every breath, shift, and movement. He lies awake longer than usual, adjusting to the new presence.

He Stays Rigid for a While: He keeps to his side of the bed at first, almost like he’s waiting to see if you move first. It takes a few nights before he naturally shifts closer.

He Still Wakes Up at His Usual Time: No matter how restless he is, his internal clock doesn’t change. Even if you’re still asleep, he’s already up, already moving.

Small Habits He Develops Over Time

Tracking Your Presence: If he wakes up and you’re not beside him, his brain immediately registers it. He won’t panic, but he’ll quietly scan the space to confirm where you are.

Adjusting the Environment Subtly: If he notices you struggle with cold mornings, the thermostat will be adjusted. If you always leave your book in a certain spot, a small table might appear next to your side of the bed.

Sleep Positions Change Over Time: At first, he keeps distance. Eventually, he might casually let a hand rest on your arm or back while sleeping—nothing clingy, just contact.

So moving in with Harley wouldn’t be romantic in a conventional sense. There’s no big sentimental moment, but there’s intentionality in everything he does. He struggles with change, but once he fully adjusts, his actions will reflect a deep (though unspoken) attachment.

Living with him would feel like slowly becoming integrated into a complex system—he won’t say “I need you here”, but every small adaptation he makes proves it.

[tauforged]

if we assume warframes have some amount of biological function rather than being meat suits, it would only stand that in the process of becoming protoframes, the hex would not only change appearance-wise but the way their bodies FUNCTION would change as well as their behavior. I don't have solid ideas for everyone YET, BUT i'll elaborate on what i have so far below...

we don't have a lot of solid info about how cyte-09's kit would work, but being that he's a sniper-centric frame, it makes sense that quincy would start to subconsciously adapt to that 'ambush predator' function, in terms of behavior and also metabolism.

instinctually he feels safest/most comfortable when he's somewhere High Up and Isolated. he likes a vantage point, not much else to it. randomly feeling compelled to climb on top of shit and Perch even outside of patrols while just hanging out because it just feels more secure

bradymetabolic -- his 'natural' state is objectively slowed down in comparison to a normal human being, his resting heartrate is slow his body temp tends to be lower and he can go considerably longer in between meals if he isn't actively making an effort to eat on a schedule. his body is rewiring itself to be best suited towards finding a vantage point and lying in wait, staying as still as possible and expending as little energy as he can until the moment is just right.

HOWEVER, the moment something triggers him to act fast (usually in combat situations although its technically a 'prey response') his metabolism will kick into overdrive and he strikes FAST. for the brief period where he's active, heart rate and body temp shoot up and he burns through however much energy he's been storing in the interim. once the adrenaline wears off, though, he's back to business as usual. if he's in a high-energy situation for an extended amount of time, though, he runs the risk of exhausting himself, hyperventilating, or overheating.

tends to blink less than it seems like he should and picks up a habit of unintentionally holding his breath. trigger finger twitches unintentionally when he's focused on something/someone in a way that kinda resembles how dart frogs will tap their toes while hunting or how the raptors in jurassic park click their claws on the ground. develops and exaggerated freeze response -- when something startles him when he isnt expecting it, he goes completely stock still in an attempt to 'blend in' and wait out the threat.

on the opposite end, amir adopts a fucking hummingbird metabolism. he runs hot and fast and needs to eat a lot more than you would expect because his body is CONSTANTLY. GOING. he's somewhere int he middle between regular human and obligate nectar-eater -- he processes sugars WAY faster/easier than normal and is pretty dependent on them for energy in the immediate moment, although he does still have the capacity to store longer-lasting energy for later rather than having to eat every thirty minutes lest he starve to death. the more active he is, the more demand is on him, though and he is VERY fucking active. he's built to be on the move 24/7 now, and gets really antsy when 'at rest' because even when wholly idle his body burns energy like a motherfucker and it makes him restless. constantly craving sweet things because his body is demanding sugar NOW or we are going to DIE (this is not true, he's mostly being dramatic, but he DOES feel adverse effects from lack of food or water much sooner than he normally would)

can take short rests that are basically like power naps where he sleeps "normal", but when he actually Sleep sleeps he goes into a torpor state to preserve his energy, slowing down and dropping his body temp and it takes him between 20min to an hour to actually Wake Up completely. does not like doing this but while his body is meant to be constantly moving, his brain still runs on a human schedule and he Needs to get actual sleep. he needs to hard reboot every couple days or else he starts fighting demons. you know how it is.

aside from inconvenient desires to eat raw meat/random animals (imagining excal as an obligate carnivore just feels right), arthur isn't too METABOLICALLY different from the average human, but behaviorally he is fighting for his life. in contrast to quincy preferring open, elevated spaces, arthur is compelled to seek out dark tight enclosed spaces and hole up like a sick animal looking for a place to die (he's fine, but the way he's always stressing out crosses some wires in his brain and makes him Feel like he's dying)

you can tell when arthur and quincy have been getting on eachothers nerves or arguing because they will Immediately retreat to their respective territories to Sulk (quincy starts climbing on top of the stage light scaffolding, arthur is in the security office trying to find a dignified way to crawl under a table). it's objectively really funny to witness. they both do this when theyre in bad moods but when theyre BOTH doing it the chance of it being coincidence is very very low

both arthur and eleanor are VERY catlike, not really in a cutesy fun 'uwu nya' way, but in a 'bites people and knocks shit over and gets random bursts of energy at ungodly hours and feels compelled to chase things that move like prey' way . eleanor leans into this and does not care, she is biting you as a show of affection and you WILL accept that. arthur hates it and suppresses it at all times. catboy instincts calling to him like the green goblin mask 24/7

in tandem with the 'aoi's teeth are more like a squid beak and are dark in color because they're reinforced with metal' hc ive discussed before, i feel like she might feel the urge to try and Consume metallics somehow to feed that process. or maybe her constant melting down and playing with metal is how she assimilates it. not sure yet

i have not many ideas regarding trinity or lettie yet because i almost never play trin and dont have a good handle on how her kit would translate to biological functions LMFAOO im so sorry girl i love you so much but im still chewing on this one. welcome to ideas!

aaand of course, the conversation that started it all:

and the grand finale: bullying arthur

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

Thinking Fast & Slow

Understanding System 1 and System 2 Thinking.

In Daniel Kahneman's seminal work, "Thinking, Fast and Slow," he introduces the concept of two systems of thought: System 1 and System 2. These systems operate in different ways, shaping our decisions, behaviors, and habits.

System 1: The Fast Thinker

System 1 is our intuitive, automatic, and quick mode of thinking. It operates with little or no effort . This system is responsible for our immediate reactions and gut feelings.

Characteristics of System 1:

Automatic and Quick: Requires minimal effort.

Emotional: Driven by emotions and immediate impressions.

Unconscious: Operates without conscious awareness.

Fast: Reacts instantly to stimuli.

Examples of System 1 Behaviors:

Binge Eating: Grabbing a bag of chips and consuming it mindlessly while watching TV.

Impulsive Shopping: Buying items on impulse because they are on sale or displayed attractively.

Driving on a Familiar Route: Navigating through known streets without consciously thinking about each turn.

Reacting to a Sudden Noise: Jumping in response to a loud sound.

System 2: The Slow Thinker

System 2 is our analytical, deliberate, and effortful mode of thinking. This system is responsible for making more deliberate choices and reflecting on complex issues.

Characteristics of System 2:

Effortful and Deliberate: Requires mental effort and attention.

Rational: Driven by logic and reasoning.

Conscious: Operates with full awareness.

Slow: Takes time to process information.

Examples of System 2 Behaviors:

Intentional Eating: Planning meals ahead of time to ensure a balanced diet.

Careful Budgeting: Analyzing finances and creating a budget to manage spending.

Learning a New Skill: Dedicating time and effort to practice and improve.

Solving Complex Problems: Taking time to think through a difficult work-related issue or a puzzle.

How System 1 and System 2 Affect Our Habits

Our habits are largely influenced by the interplay between these two systems. System 1 often governs habits formed through repeated behaviors and routines, while System 2 comes into play when we try to change or form new, deliberate habits.

System 1 Habits:

Unhealthy Eating: Reaching for comfort food when stressed, driven by emotional responses.

Procrastination: Putting off tasks in favor of immediate, less demanding activities.

Mindless Browsing: Scrolling through social media without a specific purpose.

System 2 Habits:

Regular Exercise: Planning and adhering to a workout schedule.

Mindful Meditation: Setting aside time for mindfulness practices.

Continuous Learning: Reading books or taking courses to gain new knowledge and skills.

Practical Applications

I have realized that for me to form a new habit, I have to constantly fight against System 1 behavior (checking my phone first thing in the morning, impulsive eating etc). By fighting against it, I mean reminding myself of my intentions, taking time to ask myself why I really need another brownie. It is difficult at first but understanding the differences between System 1 and System 2 can help us make better decisions and develop healthier habits. For example, recognizing that binge eating is a System 1 behavior can lead us to implement System 2 strategies, such as meal planning and mindful eating, to counteract it.

Tips to Engage System 2:

Pause and Reflect: Before making decisions, take a moment to consider the consequences.

Create Routines: Establish structured routines that require conscious effort initially but can eventually become automatic.

Set Clear Goals: Define specific, achievable goals to guide deliberate actions.

Practice Self-Control: Develop self-discipline through regular practice and reinforcement.

By harnessing the power of System 2 thinking, we can override the automatic responses of System 1, leading to more intentional and beneficial habits.

[qqueenofhades]

With full acknowledgement of the general shitty stress of the times, and a very deep appreciation for your steadying words over the last couple of years: I've been somewhat conflicted about volunteering with my local Democratic Party infrastructure; since it feels like at the Federal level, some of those representatives are at best incompetent and/or out of touch; verging on malicious incompetence. Especially with the most recent cycle, for them to sit there and harp on the danger Trump presented and then be caught apparently flatfooted after his inauguration.... is it even worth considering, at this point in time, the responsibility(?) of all parties involved, whether its voters who sat out this cycle, sloppy behavior from the party at various points over the last couple of years, Republicans for being bad actors; or is setting aside that degree of analysis and focusing on just pulling through the next 2-4-6-8 ish years the way to go? Focusing on what can be changed vs. what has come before? If you do not want to answer or don't have the bandwidth, totally understandable. :) Thanks again for all your hard work in this regard.

There are two things I can say here, which is that one, the federal-level Democratic Party kind of makes a habit of being unprepared, behind the eight-ball, pre-emptively cowed, generally disorganized, constantly alarmist followed by crickets, or pretty much anything else you can think of. They have already started the "stop Trump!" fundraising emails, and plenty of us, me included, are like "brother you aren't getting money from me until you POINT OUT what the fuck you're doing and start doing it, this ain't the first rodeo, GET WITH THE PROGRAM."

The second thing to say is that at least the Democrats will respond when you push them and can generally be bullied into doing the right thing eventually, and that there is no way they will learn that, get their heads on straight, or figure out a cohesive stop-Trump action plan unless we help them do that. Some of them are more successful than others; witness Democratic state AGs being blitzingly fast off the blocks and filing a barrage of lawsuits to stop the worst executive orders, while Democratic senators and House reps (at least initially) seemed passive, confused, fearful, or just content, per Chuck Schumer, to just "sit back and wait for Trump to screw up." Like, if that's your big plan to stop fascism after you spent the entire election season telling us (rightly) what a threat to democracy Trump posed, then you deserve to get your complacent ass primaried, Chuckie m'boy. Which someone can in fact do if they want to! If nothing else, it might give them a scare!

The good news is that after the grassroots Democrats started making an enormous stink, the national party woke up somewhat more and started acting more proactively. We understand that they are out of power in all three branches and cannot do anything to substantially stop Trump if all the Republicans continue to march in MAGA lockstep, but they can at least look like they give a shit. Which Senate Democrats did with their all-night opposition to Vought (the Project 2025 guy who got confirmed to OMB). They could not stop him from being confirmed, but they could make a high-profile stink about it and show that they were responsive to people going HEY GUYS SO ARE YOU GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT THIS OR. Which they will need to do, because it will maintain grassroots energy to get the House and hopefully the Senate back in 2026 and put the brakes on any substantial or legislative-related Trump BS.

The point is: the Democrats, especially on the federal level, are often chronically behind the curve and need to be kicked hard to get moving, but once that kicking happens repeatedly, they do generally tend to get the message. And if you want to make the most difference and have an active hand in shaping and discussing that effort and pressuring them to keep going, then yes, you should go ahead and volunteer. As ever, doing something is far, far better than not doing it. So yes.

[flwrkid14]

Hi! Can we get some more Jason Todd: Dad Mode Activated? 🥺👉👈 maybe about how Jason helps Tim with his crushes or maybe like how to cope with some mental health struggles/ Tim comparing how different Jason lectures him to Bruce’s lectures?

Hi!! Thank you so much for the ask! <3 These are such great concepts, and I’d have so much fun exploring them! While I’m not sure I’ll make a full post for this, I’d love to share my thoughts on how these ideas could play out!

For Jason helping Tim with crushes, I feel like he’d totally be that dad—the one who embarrasses you in front of your crush on purpose. Tim, of course, doesn’t tell Jason about his crushes for this exact reason, but Jason is way too observant not to figure it out anyway. Imagine them out together (because Jason has once again dragged Tim away from his work to make him take a break), and Jason spots Tim’s current crush walking down the street. He’d nudge Tim with that smug, teasing grin of his, going, “Timmy! Look, Timbo! It’s Bernard! Isn’t he a good friend of yours? What’s he doing out here? Let’s go say hi!” And then, before Tim can protest, Jason’s already dragging him over, while Tim is blushing furiously and muttering curses under his breath. Jason’s embarrassing as hell, but... it’s also endearing. And for Tim, who didn’t grow up with that kind of playful, teasing love, it felt oddly nice... even if his dad was now enthusiastically talking about his cuddling habits when sleeping (screw him for being touch starved) to a very confused Bernard.

As for coping with mental health, Jason would be such a huge advocate. Realizing that Tim is his kid now—and that he’s essentially a dad—would really push Jason to work on his own mental health. He’d know he can’t preach good habits to Tim if he’s not setting a good example himself (because independent Tim Drake—who grew up without much supervision—definitely needs someone to lead by example. He needs proof that taking advice from someone else is worth it, especially when his own methods have always worked just fine for him).

So Jason starts his own mental health journey, taking active steps to improve himself, and Tim notices. And it hits him hard, because none of his parental figures before—Bruce or Jack—ever did that. They never cared about their own well-being for his sake, to be better parents to him. Seeing Jason make that effort makes Tim feel so incredibly loved and valued.

Jason wouldn’t just lecture Tim or bark orders at him; he’d actively help him build better habits. He’d set up mandatory family dinners once a week to encourage better eating patterns and help Tim develop routines that supported a healthier sleep schedule, tailored to his needs, once they realized the standard eight hours a night just wasn’t realistic for him.

It’s these little changes that make Tim realize just how different Jason is from Bruce.

Jason doesn’t demand things from Tim that he doesn’t practice himself. He wouldn’t tell Tim to stop working late if he wasn’t also putting his own work aside and calling it a night. If he’s telling Tim to eat better, he’s leading by example—packing ready-to-go meals for both of them when there’s no time to cook. Jason shows Tim why these changes are worth it, through actions and positive outcomes.

Bruce, on the other hand, never did that. Whatever Bruce told Tim to do was just an expectation. He’d demand Tim do better or lecture him without ever showing how or why it mattered. If Bruce criticized Tim’s performance in the field but was himself guilty of being distracted—like running off mid-patrol for a rendezvous with catwoman—Tim just nodded along and tuned him out. Bruce’s hypocrisy made it impossible for Tim to take him seriously.

But Jason? Jason shows Tim why he should listen, fixing his own behavior and performance first before ever asking the same of Tim. And that difference speaks volumes. For Tim, who’s used to parental figures endless demands with no understanding behind them, Jason’s approach feels like a breath of fresh air—and the kind of support he never knew he needed.

hopefully that lived up to your expectations! <3

[majoryeager104]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ty for doing meh request :)

could you do another comfort fic for hawks and dabi with a user who gets more cheerful and active when sad/depppressed and have a hard time talking abt whats wrong ? I have a problem where i get rlly more acting like im fine when i feel like shit and it drives me kinda crazy cause no one can ever tell when im sad sooo yeah

i sowwy im bringing out de angsty comforty requests

ill be sending some silly fluff requests ater this one :D

hope ye have a lovely day :D

girl I do the same thing 😭 I’ll totally write it no need to apologize for the request I enjoy writing em 🫶🫶🫶

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Keigo

Keigo had known you for a while now. So much so that he could pick up a thing or two when it came to your behaviors. He’d been taught to read people in the hero’s commission training, so he could read just about anyone like an open book. You however, were a much harder book to read. Keigo doesn’t consider himself to be the best at communicating his thoughts or feelings, and it seemed to him like you struggled with the same thing, even in a similar way. His issue, was how he’d crack through that overly positive shell when he knew damn well you were hurting.

“hey y/nnnnnnn”

“hey Keigoooo”

Playing along with his teasing, you turned and grinned at him, the smile not reaching your eyes in the few seconds that the two of you made eye contact. Yep, you were upset. He watched as you turned back to the laundry you were currently folding. Busying and distracting yourself from the thoughts that you currently found suffocating. How should he do this? Was he gonna make it worse? He shook the thoughts away. It wasn’t the time to overthink.

He walked up behind you, snaking his strong arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. From this point forward, you could suppose he was winging it. What else could he do? So, needless to say the next words he said caused you to pause.

“what’s bothering you, y/n?”

You let out a sharp exhale- how’d he know? It’s not like you were trying to hide it, hiding it sort of…happened. Did he think you were trying to lie? Was he upset?

“You’re acting cheery…but there’s something wrong. You can tell me, yknow. It’s kinda my job to help people.” He smiled against your skin, placing a few gentle kisses on your cheek as he spoke. Of course he’d figured you out by now, why wouldn’t he?

“how’d you know?”

Your voice faltered as you tried to fake another smile,

“That pretty smile of yours didn’t reach your eyes”

You were equally surprised and…happy. You’d had this habit for ages, and growing up you usually just felt like your feelings were…forgotten. They were there, but they were tucked away behind the mask you used to cope. And yet, Keigo managed to see right through that mask…that was what made you happy, you supposed, was that he made efforts to understand you in ways no one else ever did.

And so, you told him what was bothering you, and he listened, all the while helping you with your laundry.

The help was nice, but his understanding and genuine nature was even better. Before you knew it, he’d cracked a few jokes and got you smiling again, for real this time.

“there it is”

He said in a song-song voice, pinching your cheek. Once again, you found yourself giggling at his antics, playfully swatting away his hand.

“There what is?”

He sighed, stepping close enough to place a quick, soft kiss on your forehead, before gently flicking the spot with a grin.

“That pretty smile of yours! The real one, this time.”

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Touya

Your smile looked…different. Touya noticed the change immediately, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. It wasn’t a gradual change, no, it seemed to him that all of a sudden your smiles were…fabricated. Maybe he was just reading between lines, but if you’ve seen someone’s genuine smile enough, you’ll know the inauthentic ones from a mile away, which he did. Touya had earned your smiles a million times, whether it be from his casual flirtations and jokes, or his sweet words he’d only ever let you hear. He knew that contagious grin from anywhere, but the smile you’d worn lately was not that.

But, he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. Should he ask you? Would that be weird? What if it was nothing, and he just ended up making you feel self conscious? So instead, he just quietly watched you busy yourself organizing your bookshelf.

Till he wasn’t quiet about it at least.

“what’s wrong?”

He of course changed his mind about keeping it to himself, because he couldn’t keep watching knowing something was wrong, whether he knew what it was or not.

You glanced over at him, and there it was again, that smile that didn’t quite fit. “what do you mean? Nothings-”

“you’re smiling weird. Stop it.”

you raised your eyebrows, but the quickly furrowed into a look of faux confusion. He scoffed at this, standing to walk towards where you sat. He knelt down next to you on the floor, his blue eyes boring into you. “just tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothings wrong”

“something’s wrong. Your usual smile’s much prettier. You know, the real one?”

“Touya-”

“aren’t people in relationships s’posed to be honest with each other about feelings and shit?”

you laughed nervously, going back to sorting, as if ignoring him would make him let it go. You probably should have known that wasn’t the case.

Rather than giving up and walking away, he grabbed the book in your hand, setting it down while his other hand cupped your cheek and forced you to look at him. “y/n.”

“…Yes?”

“spill it. I’m not stupid.”

his voice was gruff, and as always, it was also hard to ignore. So you told him what’d been bothering you, and he plopped down next to you, playing mindlessly with your hair as you spoke. Once you were done he looked at you with a frown. “That’s what you were worried about tellin me?” he sighed, a small smile forming on his face. He’d known what had happened, he just didn’t know it was bothering you. Of course, you didn’t make that easier by hiding how upset it made you, but nonetheless. “Man, you gotta get your shit together”

“Touya!”

“I mean- ugh, I’m not talking about that… I mean, you’re always asking me to be open with you, and I have…”

He glanced up at you, flicking your forehead. “Just… be honest next time, stupid. I’m always here anyways, so, don’t just smile and act like it’s okay when it’s not…”

You couldn’t help but sigh, a soft smile forming on your face too as you ruffled his soft hair. “you’re probably right…”

“I know I’m right, doll…love you”

“love you more”

he side eyed you for a moment, and you couldn’t help but grin, for real this time. He scoffed with a smile.

“don’t compete with me I will win.”

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I fuckin love this song 😭😭😭

a/n Lowkey(high key actually) hoping I can find someone who actually can see past the fake smiles like this yk 🥲 like if I had a Touya I’d never try to hide my feelings again I proooomisssse 🙏🙏🙏(I’d do it so he’d flick my forehead and call me doll 😁)

Banner creds to @ melwakame/Goto and @ Sharlock!

[shall-we-die]

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{Zeal}

Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? || If so, what kind of?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo Stray Dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {None}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0046}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Atsushi| 10/10

• Atsushi is absolutely willing to go to great lengths for his relationship.

• He will be willing to sacrifice time, effort, and possibly even make some changes to his lifestyle in order to ensure that he is able to give everything he has to his significant other.

• This may include making time for his significant other in his busy schedule, making changes to his routine to accommodate his significant other's needs, or even going out of his way to plan special dates and activities to make sure that his significant other is happy and feeling loved.

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↬|Akutagawa| 9/10

• Akutagawa is definitely a person who would go to great lengths for the people he cares about. This includes his partner and their relationship.

• Akutagawa is the type of person who would go out of his way to make his partner happy, whether that be showering them with affection and attention or giving them special gifts and surprises. (With a grumpy face of course.)

• He would also be willing to make sacrifices for the good of the relationship, such as compromising on certain issues or giving up his own wants and needs.

• In fact, he may even be willing to push himself past his limits if it meant keeping his partner safe and happy. (He will kill for his s/o for sure.)

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↬|Dazai| 10/10

• To Dazai, the relationship with the person he loves is of upmost importance. It's the only thing that gives meaning to his life.

• If necessary, Dazai would go to great lengths for the relationship. As long as his lover is safe and happy, Dazai would do anything in his power to keep it that way.

• This includes doing things that go against his own beliefs or sacrificing himself (this is a very extreme case) if it means protecting or making them happy.

• The relationship is the most important thing to Dazai at the end of the day.

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↬|Chuuya| 100/10

• Chuuya is the kind of person that is willing to do anything for those he loves. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his s/o, he has proved it more than once.

• He is very possessive and will do anything to protect the person he loves even if it's bad for him.

• Chuuya would literally do anything just to make his s/o happy, including putting his own life and well being at risk.

• For example, he usually is the one to confront danger or risky situations just because he think is the right thing to do for his s/o.

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↬|Tetchou| 5/10

• Tetchou, as a boyfriend, is willing to go to great lengths for the relationship (not that much). If he is truly dedicated to someone and feels like they are the one, he would do whatever it takes to make things work.

• This could include making sacrifices, changing his own behaviors or habits, or even making significant life decisions, just to keep the relationship thriving and healthy.

• He would also be willing to go above and beyond to show his love and commitment to his partner, and would do his best to make them feel happy and secure.

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↬|Jouno| 7/10

• As a boyfriend, Jouno is willing to go to great lengths for the relationship.

• These include spending a large amount of time planning something special for their significant other, traveling or visiting new places just to experience them together, and perhaps writing a long and heartfelt letter in expressing his love.

• Jouno would also go out of his way to protect his partner by all means, even risk his life to keep her safe.

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↬|Fyodor| 6/10

• Yes, Fyodor is willing to go to great length for the relationship. He is ready to fight till his last breath for the one he loves, ready to sacrifice himself for their safety.

• He's ready to do anything to make them happy and to make their dreams come true. If s/o would be in deep trouble he would do anything to take their place and protect them from danger.

• He'd try to solve all the problems that s/o has no matter how long it would take him. He's ready to do anything to protect their love from harm.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Nikolai| 9.9/10

• If Nikolai is truly committed to his relationship, he would most likely be willing to go to great lengths for the sake of it.

• This could include things like making sacrifices and compromises, setting aside his own needs and wishes for the greater good, and doing things that he wouldn't normally do.

• He would also be willing to overlook minor flaws and imperfections in his S/O, as no one is perfect and everyone has room for improvement.

┣━━━━━━━━━━━━━┅┅┅┄┄

↬|Sigma| 10/10

• Sigma loves his s/o very much and is willing to put in the effort to make their relationship last.

• He will go out of his way to show them how much he cares, whether it's by doing something small like cooking them a surprise dinner or taking them on a special trip.

• Anything he can do to show his love and appreciation, he is willing to do. He values the time they spend together and will do everything in his power to keep that going.

• Sigma is a dedicated partner and will always do his best to make his s/o happy and their relationship flourish.

||[🅉eal]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🅈ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ☰ㅤㅤ↻

[jjkwritingsandrambling]

JJK Men as Dads PT1

Sukuna 

Oof, okay. Honestly, he wouldn’t be actively horrible to his kids but he definitely has a lot of behaviors and habits that would be damaging to the kid in the long run. Plus, his behavior would change based on the kid’s gender. 

A boy he sees more as an extension of himself and as such is a lot harsher on a boy with emphasis on making sure the kid is strong. This would likely cause a lot of resentment there especially if the boy has a sister and seeing the difference in how they’re treated.

A girl, on the other hand, Sukuna sees as an extension of you. Because of this, he’s a lot easier on her. While he does train her to defend herself, he’s less harsh about it. Since he sees his daughter in a similar light to you, in his mind, she can always run back to him and be protected with minimal scolding. He refuses to admit it, but he does spoil her. 

Satoru Gojo 

Definitely a ‘fun’ dad and spoils his kids rotten. Even when teaching them how to use cursed energy, he tends to present it as a game even when his kids get older. He has a hard time when the kids hit their grumpy teenager phase since he doesn’t deal supper well with his kids pulling away. You’re probably going to have to reel him back so he doesn’t push them away by being clingy and desperate for his kids' approval. 

He has sooo much fun picking out baby clothes and decorating the nursery since he didn’t get to do that with Megumi and Tsumiki. Megumi makes an effort to hide it, but he is pretty excited for the baby too. You guys have so many photos of the baby. Satoru has like 3 baby scrapbooks per child. He definitely cried when holding his child for the first time.

[sansquip]

u know how game characters sway to the side or smth when they're standing still? or they have idle animations? I was thinking maybe that could be used in the Squip to make some of its actions mistakes or habits.

like breathing! the visualization aesthetic is rooted so deeply and used so often that it's engrained itself into the Squip's code deeper than active computer analysis or whatever

its like how our neural networks get stronger the more we use it

and if that head cannon is true, then basically we could split the Squip's brain into a conscious and subconscious space, like humans.

consciously, it is still neutral. analytical. deliberate. intentional. whatever

subconsciously, its been programmed to act human

and the problem with the code being so deeply engrained, just like any habits, it would be difficult for a Squip to alter

so lets say a Squip, like Jeremy's, sees its host and starts out angry, demanding, controlling (because it creates the perfect personality to create the optimum results). since it uses these personality types since its birth or whatever, they have to be deeply engrained into its code, making it subconscious behavior. also making personality change difficult, or requiring effort. and this definitely seems more human.

in other words, the Squip is speed-running toddler development in order to perfectly match itself to its owner.

and going back to the mention that its programmed to act human, if their programs on acting human have been burned so deep in its code that they can't be turned off, its basically just another way to make human instincts. we can't control whether we can blink when we sneeze. or if we're scared of heights

maybe neither can a Squip