#make the active effort of changing behaviors and habits

[khaire-traveler]

Hey, you're actually supposed to change, and especially when you've gone through something traumatic, it's nearly impossible not to change. Going through something horrific doesn't automatically mean you've "changed for the worst". Making a mistake due to the trauma you've experienced doesn't automatically mean you've "changed for the worst" either. Sometimes, shitty events cause us to do shitty things, and while that's something we should aim to change, it's important to recognize that you're not an evil person for fucking up. You're not irredeemable. You're not a monster. You're not unworthy of friends or love. Try not to hold these mistakes over your head for the rest of your life; it's just not worth it and doesn't benefit anyone, actually - most importantly, it doesn't benefit you.

And if you've changed once, you can change again anyway. Who's stopping you?

[bamsara]

trod au ramble u can ignore

when i say slowburn in an enemies to friends to lovers for Trod I mean slowburn. 300k before Narinder even openly admits he cares for the Lamb, and Lamb actually opens up more than just a shield of positivity and another 100k of character growth, drama, complicated intricacies of grief and anger to communication. The Lamb has boundaries and sticks by them constantly in trod, they're not a pushover, but they don't blow up and react in explosive anger the same way that Narinder does and they are mistaken for soft by him for it, when it's him having to be the one who is constantly re-evaluating his priorities and his behavior because the lamb isn't taking shit from him, despite patience and love, and he's put in this position where he's allowing the grief and the hurt to keep hurting himself and the Lamb in the process, until he risks losing them and Narinder makes the active decision to work on himself. They HAD a healthy, wonderful friendship before, he cared for them. He still does. He wishes he didn't but god he still does.

but i dislike when characters do one change or have one realization and suddenly they're super nice. no I want them to be continuously complex. I want their bad habits and miscommunication to not instantly or quickly disappear, I want continuous effort from the wronger. do you hear me. CONTINUOUS EFFORT. that means a character fucking up again and again and relasping and changing and cursing and being like well he doesn't need to be any different because its not his fault then going back and being like. no. it was my fault. i am wronged and I am the wronger. i need complexities. Let us not forget the definition of 'enemy' in the enemies to friends to lovers here. if they start off soft then where is the growth. Where is the room for growth I want. Where is it.

they get to the processing of emotions they haven't allowed themselves to feel properly for centuries to take this friendship gone sour by betrayal, plagued by anger and hurt to something slowly blooming back into trust and care and soft until eventually its this healthy love of these uberly overpowered pair of gods

Trod bad end is when Narinder just speed runs the 'rehabilitation' part of the rehabilitation of death' and it circles back to him going feral in the head. Still an asshole? okay your lamb is gone. regret your pride and ego because the patient love you were afforded is gone forever and the last memory you gave them was not the love you could have given them but it will be the love that destroys mortality to get them back.

amnesia au Narinder is just happy to be here. no betrayal, no angst. eventually when his memory does return and he gets caught pretending he doesn't remember just so he can be sweet to them without his pride in the way will force a conversation that will essentially fix the horrific communication these two have. speedrun trod x2

Current Trod Narinder is a emo angsty bastard who's rightfully hurt at being imprisoned and (in his heart) betrayed by someone he trusted dearly (again) while Post-Trod Narinder is still a feral bastard but with truly un-constipated, true equal love for the Lamb that wears a wedding ring made of his own blood to the tune of 'i miss my wife tails' and got a praise kink

but if its not absolute hell getting to that point then WHAT IS THE POINT

and all these are mostly about Narinder but don't even get me started on the Lamb's issues. That sheep thang is hiding shit.

Except I can't talk about the Lamb's hiding issues Too Much yet unless you've been in my art streams and have seen some of my comics, then IYKYK but aaaaaaaaaaUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHG

[globalrebrand]

How long do you think it would take the reader to actually fall in love with Capitano because they're in an arranged marriage? And the other way around

Starting with Capitano!

Capitano will always uphold the values of marriage and will be a model husband. He is an a generous yet pragmatic provider. Capitano will not spoil you, but he will ensure what you have is more than adequate for your needs. However, above all, Capitano is honest and loyal, he will never lie or attempt to deceive you.

At first this ideal husband behavior is more so because he respects the institution of marriage very highly and not necessarily because of who you are, though Capitano makes an effort to get to know you. He questions you about your habits and hobbies and after a while will think about how to cater to them.

Capitano actually has rather high expectations of his spouse. I imagine Capitano was pushed to marry due to his status and position, so he will want a partner who is independent, intelligent and dutiful. He will expect the same level of respect in the union that he is giving to you. The irony is that while he picked these characteristics to get a lover who will not disturb him, Capitano is deeply attracted to diligent, mindful and clever individuals. So as the reader demonstrates these traits, Capitano begins to fall in love with them, but due to their independent nature they aren't be the most receptive to the ways in which Capitano shows love, namely by being over protective and insisting on doing everything together. He's home so seldom that what little free time he has he would prefer to spend with his spouse. This becomes especially apparent the longer you two are together.

As detailed above, Capitano possesses many admirable traits which on paper make him easy to fall for, however this ignores his blunt, keen and sometimes prideful nature which depending on who you are, could rub you the wrong way at first.

He is an acute observer even without you detailing the quotidian goings on of your daily life, Capitano will start to notice and comment. He isn't necessarily critiquing, just seeing and noting. He will casually tell you about yourself which can be incredibly jarring at first, especially if you're unused to being seen by the people in your life. However...when it comes to himself, he doesn't freely offer information which can be frustrating. He wants to expose all of your inner workings, but is very selective when divulging his own. He begins to share more freely when you earn his trust, which builds slower than his actual affections for you. Capitano will come to love you before he fully trusts you. It's just the nature of the fatui that make him so suspicious and not necessarily you. He wants to trust you but years in his position have made it difficult for him to lower his guard.

Basically, Capitano appreciates a partner who is brave, self-sufficent and above all loyal. Devote yourself to him and Capitano will find his feelings changing rather soon into your union. Ultimately it takes maybe 2-3 months for Capitano to fall for the reader.

The reader in A Lady's Secret is incredibly independent and self-sufficient young woman from a modest background who knows what she wants and doesn't require Capitano's support. She is principled, hardworking, and doesn't meddle in Capitano's affairs. In fact she develops a pretty well rounded life outside of their marriage. She has season tickets to the ballet, successfully convinces Capitano to let her have two dogs (large thick furred beasts who can easily takedown wolves) and walks them around the forest to visit their distant neighbors when the winds aren't too cold.

The reader does these activities alone because she assumes that Capitano wouldn't want to join her but when he quietly questions why she doesn't invite him she starts to incorporate him into these activities. Not all of them. Capitano has no interest in visiting the neighbors, but he can be convinced to attend a quiet night at the ballet and walk the dogs in the forest. And the reader while initially worried she'd find that his company dulled her experiences, is delighted to realize that she actually prefers his accompaniment.

They definitely butted heads in the beginning when Capitano demanded that she inform him every time she left the house. She wasn't too keen on her whereabouts being surveilled, as she was used to coming and going as she pleased. Initially he was more flexible about these things but as he began to get attached he assigned her a personal body guard which had her really annoyed with him. This led to an argument where she called "smothering" and he called her "stubborn."

The difficult part for the reader early on is that she's intensely attracted to Capitano so she starts the sexual part of their relationship right away, but her feelings for him are slower to crystalize and Capitano uses this to his advantage. When you're still arguing with him about a security detail, he'll be withholding until you agree to his terms.

For someone as independent as the reader she struggles with Capitano's desire for control over her. He's not possessive per se but he is very very over protective and unfortunately due to his position he has every right to be. She just resents that she doesn't quite feel like his equal when he frets over her like this.

However, as she comes to appreciate his company, she is more permissive of Capitano's particular brand of affection which is demonstrated through ensuring her safety. Once the reader learns to appreciate Capitano's brand of care she falls for him. He is a supportive partner and an excellent listener. He is stoic and gruff but she knows from his actions that he cares for her deeply. I would say it takes the reader about 5-7 months to reciprocate his feelings in earnest.

[nenelonomh]

stop doom scrolling

doomscrolling, the habit of endlessly scrolling through negative news on your phone or computer, will not only destroy your personality and character but it is detrimental to your mental health. many people are trapped in the habit but do not release the insane effect that even half an hour has on their psyche.

you literally have a whole life to live! why are you wasting it!

and so, here are some tips to help you break this negative compulsion:

1. set time limits

use apps or built-in phone features to set time limits on social media and news apps. this can help you become more aware of how much time you’re spending and encourage you to take breaks.

2. schedule specific times for news

designate specific times of the day to check the news, rather than constantly throughout the day. this can help you stay informed without feeling overwhelmed.

3. practice mindfulness

engage in mindfulness practices like meditation or deep breathing exercises. this can help you stay present and reduce the urge to doomscroll.

4. seek out positive content

balance negative news with positive stories or uplifting content. follow accounts that share good news or inspiring stories.

5. engage in other (offline) activities

find alternative activities to replace doomscrolling, such as reading a book, exercising, or spending time with friends and family. keeping busy with other interests can reduce the temptation to scroll.

6. use thought-stopping techniques

when you catch yourself doomscrolling, use a thought-stopping technique like saying “stop” out loud or visualizing a stop sign. this can help interrupt the behavior and redirect your focus.

7. limit notifications

turn off non-essential notifications on your phone to reduce the constant influx of news alerts. this can help you control when and how you consume information.

8. reflect on your feelings

take a moment to reflect on how doomscrolling makes you feel. recognizing the negative impact it has on your mood can motivate you to change the habit.

9. set goals for screen-free time

establish goals for spending time away from screens, such as having screen-free meals or dedicating certain hours of the day to offline activities.

10. seek support

talk to friends or family about your efforts to reduce doomscrolling. having support can make it easier to stick to your goals and find healthier ways to stay informed.

bonus. change your mindset

instead of apathy and not caring about your mental health and character, try to grow and build yourself as a person; learn to love yourself. one trick that i use to stop myself if i ever start to rot is reminding myself that i am a creator and not a consumer. this identity reinforcement allows me to simply ignore the doom scrolling urge.

implementing these strategies can help you break the habit of doomscrolling and improve your overall well-being. i wish you luck on your development journey!

❤️nene

[tauforged]

if we assume warframes have some amount of biological function rather than being meat suits, it would only stand that in the process of becoming protoframes, the hex would not only change appearance-wise but the way their bodies FUNCTION would change as well as their behavior. I don't have solid ideas for everyone YET, BUT i'll elaborate on what i have so far below...

we don't have a lot of solid info about how cyte-09's kit would work, but being that he's a sniper-centric frame, it makes sense that quincy would start to subconsciously adapt to that 'ambush predator' function, in terms of behavior and also metabolism.

instinctually he feels safest/most comfortable when he's somewhere High Up and Isolated. he likes a vantage point, not much else to it. randomly feeling compelled to climb on top of shit and Perch even outside of patrols while just hanging out because it just feels more secure

bradymetabolic -- his 'natural' state is objectively slowed down in comparison to a normal human being, his resting heartrate is slow his body temp tends to be lower and he can go considerably longer in between meals if he isn't actively making an effort to eat on a schedule. his body is rewiring itself to be best suited towards finding a vantage point and lying in wait, staying as still as possible and expending as little energy as he can until the moment is just right.

HOWEVER, the moment something triggers him to act fast (usually in combat situations although its technically a 'prey response') his metabolism will kick into overdrive and he strikes FAST. for the brief period where he's active, heart rate and body temp shoot up and he burns through however much energy he's been storing in the interim. once the adrenaline wears off, though, he's back to business as usual. if he's in a high-energy situation for an extended amount of time, though, he runs the risk of exhausting himself, hyperventilating, or overheating.

tends to blink less than it seems like he should and picks up a habit of unintentionally holding his breath. trigger finger twitches unintentionally when he's focused on something/someone in a way that kinda resembles how dart frogs will tap their toes while hunting or how the raptors in jurassic park click their claws on the ground. develops and exaggerated freeze response -- when something startles him when he isnt expecting it, he goes completely stock still in an attempt to 'blend in' and wait out the threat.

on the opposite end, amir adopts a fucking hummingbird metabolism. he runs hot and fast and needs to eat a lot more than you would expect because his body is CONSTANTLY. GOING. he's somewhere int he middle between regular human and obligate nectar-eater -- he processes sugars WAY faster/easier than normal and is pretty dependent on them for energy in the immediate moment, although he does still have the capacity to store longer-lasting energy for later rather than having to eat every thirty minutes lest he starve to death. the more active he is, the more demand is on him, though and he is VERY fucking active. he's built to be on the move 24/7 now, and gets really antsy when 'at rest' because even when wholly idle his body burns energy like a motherfucker and it makes him restless. constantly craving sweet things because his body is demanding sugar NOW or we are going to DIE (this is not true, he's mostly being dramatic, but he DOES feel adverse effects from lack of food or water much sooner than he normally would)

can take short rests that are basically like power naps where he sleeps "normal", but when he actually Sleep sleeps he goes into a torpor state to preserve his energy, slowing down and dropping his body temp and it takes him between 20min to an hour to actually Wake Up completely. does not like doing this but while his body is meant to be constantly moving, his brain still runs on a human schedule and he Needs to get actual sleep. he needs to hard reboot every couple days or else he starts fighting demons. you know how it is.

aside from inconvenient desires to eat raw meat/random animals (imagining excal as an obligate carnivore just feels right), arthur isn't too METABOLICALLY different from the average human, but behaviorally he is fighting for his life. in contrast to quincy preferring open, elevated spaces, arthur is compelled to seek out dark tight enclosed spaces and hole up like a sick animal looking for a place to die (he's fine, but the way he's always stressing out crosses some wires in his brain and makes him Feel like he's dying)

you can tell when arthur and quincy have been getting on eachothers nerves or arguing because they will Immediately retreat to their respective territories to Sulk (quincy starts climbing on top of the stage light scaffolding, arthur is in the security office trying to find a dignified way to crawl under a table). it's objectively really funny to witness. they both do this when theyre in bad moods but when theyre BOTH doing it the chance of it being coincidence is very very low

both arthur and eleanor are VERY catlike, not really in a cutesy fun 'uwu nya' way, but in a 'bites people and knocks shit over and gets random bursts of energy at ungodly hours and feels compelled to chase things that move like prey' way . eleanor leans into this and does not care, she is biting you as a show of affection and you WILL accept that. arthur hates it and suppresses it at all times. catboy instincts calling to him like the green goblin mask 24/7

in tandem with the 'aoi's teeth are more like a squid beak and are dark in color because they're reinforced with metal' hc ive discussed before, i feel like she might feel the urge to try and Consume metallics somehow to feed that process. or maybe her constant melting down and playing with metal is how she assimilates it. not sure yet

i have not many ideas regarding trinity or lettie yet because i almost never play trin and dont have a good handle on how her kit would translate to biological functions LMFAOO im so sorry girl i love you so much but im still chewing on this one. welcome to ideas!

aaand of course, the conversation that started it all:

and the grand finale: bullying arthur

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

Thinking Fast & Slow

Understanding System 1 and System 2 Thinking.

In Daniel Kahneman's seminal work, "Thinking, Fast and Slow," he introduces the concept of two systems of thought: System 1 and System 2. These systems operate in different ways, shaping our decisions, behaviors, and habits.

System 1: The Fast Thinker

System 1 is our intuitive, automatic, and quick mode of thinking. It operates with little or no effort . This system is responsible for our immediate reactions and gut feelings.

Characteristics of System 1:

Automatic and Quick: Requires minimal effort.

Emotional: Driven by emotions and immediate impressions.

Unconscious: Operates without conscious awareness.

Fast: Reacts instantly to stimuli.

Examples of System 1 Behaviors:

Binge Eating: Grabbing a bag of chips and consuming it mindlessly while watching TV.

Impulsive Shopping: Buying items on impulse because they are on sale or displayed attractively.

Driving on a Familiar Route: Navigating through known streets without consciously thinking about each turn.

Reacting to a Sudden Noise: Jumping in response to a loud sound.

System 2: The Slow Thinker

System 2 is our analytical, deliberate, and effortful mode of thinking. This system is responsible for making more deliberate choices and reflecting on complex issues.

Characteristics of System 2:

Effortful and Deliberate: Requires mental effort and attention.

Rational: Driven by logic and reasoning.

Conscious: Operates with full awareness.

Slow: Takes time to process information.

Examples of System 2 Behaviors:

Intentional Eating: Planning meals ahead of time to ensure a balanced diet.

Careful Budgeting: Analyzing finances and creating a budget to manage spending.

Learning a New Skill: Dedicating time and effort to practice and improve.

Solving Complex Problems: Taking time to think through a difficult work-related issue or a puzzle.

How System 1 and System 2 Affect Our Habits

Our habits are largely influenced by the interplay between these two systems. System 1 often governs habits formed through repeated behaviors and routines, while System 2 comes into play when we try to change or form new, deliberate habits.

System 1 Habits:

Unhealthy Eating: Reaching for comfort food when stressed, driven by emotional responses.

Procrastination: Putting off tasks in favor of immediate, less demanding activities.

Mindless Browsing: Scrolling through social media without a specific purpose.

System 2 Habits:

Regular Exercise: Planning and adhering to a workout schedule.

Mindful Meditation: Setting aside time for mindfulness practices.

Continuous Learning: Reading books or taking courses to gain new knowledge and skills.

Practical Applications

I have realized that for me to form a new habit, I have to constantly fight against System 1 behavior (checking my phone first thing in the morning, impulsive eating etc). By fighting against it, I mean reminding myself of my intentions, taking time to ask myself why I really need another brownie. It is difficult at first but understanding the differences between System 1 and System 2 can help us make better decisions and develop healthier habits. For example, recognizing that binge eating is a System 1 behavior can lead us to implement System 2 strategies, such as meal planning and mindful eating, to counteract it.

Tips to Engage System 2:

Pause and Reflect: Before making decisions, take a moment to consider the consequences.

Create Routines: Establish structured routines that require conscious effort initially but can eventually become automatic.

Set Clear Goals: Define specific, achievable goals to guide deliberate actions.

Practice Self-Control: Develop self-discipline through regular practice and reinforcement.

By harnessing the power of System 2 thinking, we can override the automatic responses of System 1, leading to more intentional and beneficial habits.

[shall-we-die]

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{Zeal}

Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? || If so, what kind of?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo Stray Dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {None}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0046}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Atsushi| 10/10

• Atsushi is absolutely willing to go to great lengths for his relationship.

• He will be willing to sacrifice time, effort, and possibly even make some changes to his lifestyle in order to ensure that he is able to give everything he has to his significant other.

• This may include making time for his significant other in his busy schedule, making changes to his routine to accommodate his significant other's needs, or even going out of his way to plan special dates and activities to make sure that his significant other is happy and feeling loved.

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↬|Akutagawa| 9/10

• Akutagawa is definitely a person who would go to great lengths for the people he cares about. This includes his partner and their relationship.

• Akutagawa is the type of person who would go out of his way to make his partner happy, whether that be showering them with affection and attention or giving them special gifts and surprises. (With a grumpy face of course.)

• He would also be willing to make sacrifices for the good of the relationship, such as compromising on certain issues or giving up his own wants and needs.

• In fact, he may even be willing to push himself past his limits if it meant keeping his partner safe and happy. (He will kill for his s/o for sure.)

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↬|Dazai| 10/10

• To Dazai, the relationship with the person he loves is of upmost importance. It's the only thing that gives meaning to his life.

• If necessary, Dazai would go to great lengths for the relationship. As long as his lover is safe and happy, Dazai would do anything in his power to keep it that way.

• This includes doing things that go against his own beliefs or sacrificing himself (this is a very extreme case) if it means protecting or making them happy.

• The relationship is the most important thing to Dazai at the end of the day.

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↬|Chuuya| 100/10

• Chuuya is the kind of person that is willing to do anything for those he loves. There is nothing he wouldn't do for his s/o, he has proved it more than once.

• He is very possessive and will do anything to protect the person he loves even if it's bad for him.

• Chuuya would literally do anything just to make his s/o happy, including putting his own life and well being at risk.

• For example, he usually is the one to confront danger or risky situations just because he think is the right thing to do for his s/o.

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↬|Tetchou| 5/10

• Tetchou, as a boyfriend, is willing to go to great lengths for the relationship (not that much). If he is truly dedicated to someone and feels like they are the one, he would do whatever it takes to make things work.

• This could include making sacrifices, changing his own behaviors or habits, or even making significant life decisions, just to keep the relationship thriving and healthy.

• He would also be willing to go above and beyond to show his love and commitment to his partner, and would do his best to make them feel happy and secure.

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↬|Jouno| 7/10

• As a boyfriend, Jouno is willing to go to great lengths for the relationship.

• These include spending a large amount of time planning something special for their significant other, traveling or visiting new places just to experience them together, and perhaps writing a long and heartfelt letter in expressing his love.

• Jouno would also go out of his way to protect his partner by all means, even risk his life to keep her safe.

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↬|Fyodor| 6/10

• Yes, Fyodor is willing to go to great length for the relationship. He is ready to fight till his last breath for the one he loves, ready to sacrifice himself for their safety.

• He's ready to do anything to make them happy and to make their dreams come true. If s/o would be in deep trouble he would do anything to take their place and protect them from danger.

• He'd try to solve all the problems that s/o has no matter how long it would take him. He's ready to do anything to protect their love from harm.

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↬|Nikolai| 9.9/10

• If Nikolai is truly committed to his relationship, he would most likely be willing to go to great lengths for the sake of it.

• This could include things like making sacrifices and compromises, setting aside his own needs and wishes for the greater good, and doing things that he wouldn't normally do.

• He would also be willing to overlook minor flaws and imperfections in his S/O, as no one is perfect and everyone has room for improvement.

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↬|Sigma| 10/10

• Sigma loves his s/o very much and is willing to put in the effort to make their relationship last.

• He will go out of his way to show them how much he cares, whether it's by doing something small like cooking them a surprise dinner or taking them on a special trip.

• Anything he can do to show his love and appreciation, he is willing to do. He values the time they spend together and will do everything in his power to keep that going.

• Sigma is a dedicated partner and will always do his best to make his s/o happy and their relationship flourish.

||[🅉eal]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🅈ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ☰ㅤㅤ↻

[jjkwritingsandrambling]

JJK Men as Dads PT1

Sukuna 

Oof, okay. Honestly, he wouldn’t be actively horrible to his kids but he definitely has a lot of behaviors and habits that would be damaging to the kid in the long run. Plus, his behavior would change based on the kid’s gender. 

A boy he sees more as an extension of himself and as such is a lot harsher on a boy with emphasis on making sure the kid is strong. This would likely cause a lot of resentment there especially if the boy has a sister and seeing the difference in how they’re treated.

A girl, on the other hand, Sukuna sees as an extension of you. Because of this, he’s a lot easier on her. While he does train her to defend herself, he’s less harsh about it. Since he sees his daughter in a similar light to you, in his mind, she can always run back to him and be protected with minimal scolding. He refuses to admit it, but he does spoil her. 

Satoru Gojo 

Definitely a ‘fun’ dad and spoils his kids rotten. Even when teaching them how to use cursed energy, he tends to present it as a game even when his kids get older. He has a hard time when the kids hit their grumpy teenager phase since he doesn’t deal supper well with his kids pulling away. You’re probably going to have to reel him back so he doesn’t push them away by being clingy and desperate for his kids' approval. 

He has sooo much fun picking out baby clothes and decorating the nursery since he didn’t get to do that with Megumi and Tsumiki. Megumi makes an effort to hide it, but he is pretty excited for the baby too. You guys have so many photos of the baby. Satoru has like 3 baby scrapbooks per child. He definitely cried when holding his child for the first time.

[achaotichuman]

Okay okay okay, so the Vanserra brother's all have a toxic or unhealthy relationship with each other to some extent. It's only natural in the environment they live in, they never learned what a healthy family dynamic looks like, and they have been taught through the means of violence all their lives.

My point is, don't exclude Lucien from this.

The trope where there's one family memeber (aka Lucien) who just happen to be born perfect and was never at all influenced by the violence of his family house hold? Overused, overdone, boring, boooo, DJ play the next track I've heard this one already.

Buuuut, Lucien who is just like the rest of his brothers and purposefully took the time and made the extreme effort to break out of those habits and behaviors and began to heal from them? It adds flavor, it's adds complexity to his character, AND GUESS WHAT IT MAKES IT ANGSTIER.

Lucien as a young adult is at first an aristocratic asshat who is the life of the party, with many friends but really no true friends because he can't let any of them get to close to him. He acts like a typical asshole, and then he meets Jesminda. And no I am not about to say she 'fixed' him, what would have happened, is that he fell in love with her wild spirit, her personality, the way she didn't even bat an eyelash at him.

But Jesminda is never gonna go for him, because of who he is, who he projects himself to be. She tells him the day he learns to let his heart melt is the day she will marry him.

So, Lucien purposefully learns to be a better person, he leaves the behaviors he was taught as a child behind. He starts to heal from Beron's severe neglect and abuse. And when Jesminda notices he is genuinely making a a change, she helps him, they become friends before they become lovers. He opens up to her, and she to him.

And then his heart melts, and they both fall in love naturally.

Beron notices Lucien's change in behavior, has his brothers spy on him. Finds him with Jesminda, puts two and two together. And decides Jesminda is poisoning his son's mind, and has her executed. Under the guise she was trying to convince Lucien to rebel against the High lord.

Lucien is distraught, he runs to Spring. He swears up and down that never again, he is never opening up to another person again. And then he meets Tamlin, who shows him kindness, patience, and allows him space to heal, helps him to slowly get to his feet over many years.

Then once more, Lucien melts again. He finds himself better again, maybe better than before.

Then boom Amarantha. He swears he will hate the human girl that Tamlin is forced to take a bride.

And then he finds she has this wild spirit that almost mirrors who Jesminda was. And the cycle repeats.

Also also also.

I just want a scene where Lucien as a young adult sneaks into one of his brother's room when they're asleep and attempts to smother them.

Like,

Silas (Second eldest brother)- *Snoring* *Feels something on his face* "Wha- WHAT-"

Lucien- *Actively smothering him with a pillow* "Shhhhhhh it'll be over soon, shhhhhhhhhhhh."

Or Lucien holding a knife in a kitchen alone with Eris and just thinking 'It'd be soooo easy...'

STOP MAKING LUCIEN THE OUTLIER

HE WAS JUST AS CRAZY AS THE REST OF EM

[majoryeager104]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ty for doing meh request :)

could you do another comfort fic for hawks and dabi with a user who gets more cheerful and active when sad/depppressed and have a hard time talking abt whats wrong ? I have a problem where i get rlly more acting like im fine when i feel like shit and it drives me kinda crazy cause no one can ever tell when im sad sooo yeah

i sowwy im bringing out de angsty comforty requests

ill be sending some silly fluff requests ater this one :D

hope ye have a lovely day :D

girl I do the same thing 😭 I’ll totally write it no need to apologize for the request I enjoy writing em 🫶🫶🫶

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Keigo

Keigo had known you for a while now. So much so that he could pick up a thing or two when it came to your behaviors. He’d been taught to read people in the hero’s commission training, so he could read just about anyone like an open book. You however, were a much harder book to read. Keigo doesn’t consider himself to be the best at communicating his thoughts or feelings, and it seemed to him like you struggled with the same thing, even in a similar way. His issue, was how he’d crack through that overly positive shell when he knew damn well you were hurting.

“hey y/nnnnnnn”

“hey Keigoooo”

Playing along with his teasing, you turned and grinned at him, the smile not reaching your eyes in the few seconds that the two of you made eye contact. Yep, you were upset. He watched as you turned back to the laundry you were currently folding. Busying and distracting yourself from the thoughts that you currently found suffocating. How should he do this? Was he gonna make it worse? He shook the thoughts away. It wasn’t the time to overthink.

He walked up behind you, snaking his strong arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder. From this point forward, you could suppose he was winging it. What else could he do? So, needless to say the next words he said caused you to pause.

“what’s bothering you, y/n?”

You let out a sharp exhale- how’d he know? It’s not like you were trying to hide it, hiding it sort of…happened. Did he think you were trying to lie? Was he upset?

“You’re acting cheery…but there’s something wrong. You can tell me, yknow. It’s kinda my job to help people.” He smiled against your skin, placing a few gentle kisses on your cheek as he spoke. Of course he’d figured you out by now, why wouldn’t he?

“how’d you know?”

Your voice faltered as you tried to fake another smile,

“That pretty smile of yours didn’t reach your eyes”

You were equally surprised and…happy. You’d had this habit for ages, and growing up you usually just felt like your feelings were…forgotten. They were there, but they were tucked away behind the mask you used to cope. And yet, Keigo managed to see right through that mask…that was what made you happy, you supposed, was that he made efforts to understand you in ways no one else ever did.

And so, you told him what was bothering you, and he listened, all the while helping you with your laundry.

The help was nice, but his understanding and genuine nature was even better. Before you knew it, he’d cracked a few jokes and got you smiling again, for real this time.

“there it is”

He said in a song-song voice, pinching your cheek. Once again, you found yourself giggling at his antics, playfully swatting away his hand.

“There what is?”

He sighed, stepping close enough to place a quick, soft kiss on your forehead, before gently flicking the spot with a grin.

“That pretty smile of yours! The real one, this time.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Touya

Your smile looked…different. Touya noticed the change immediately, but he wasn’t sure what it meant. It wasn’t a gradual change, no, it seemed to him that all of a sudden your smiles were…fabricated. Maybe he was just reading between lines, but if you’ve seen someone’s genuine smile enough, you’ll know the inauthentic ones from a mile away, which he did. Touya had earned your smiles a million times, whether it be from his casual flirtations and jokes, or his sweet words he’d only ever let you hear. He knew that contagious grin from anywhere, but the smile you’d worn lately was not that.

But, he didn’t know what the hell to do about it. Should he ask you? Would that be weird? What if it was nothing, and he just ended up making you feel self conscious? So instead, he just quietly watched you busy yourself organizing your bookshelf.

Till he wasn’t quiet about it at least.

“what’s wrong?”

He of course changed his mind about keeping it to himself, because he couldn’t keep watching knowing something was wrong, whether he knew what it was or not.

You glanced over at him, and there it was again, that smile that didn’t quite fit. “what do you mean? Nothings-”

“you’re smiling weird. Stop it.”

you raised your eyebrows, but the quickly furrowed into a look of faux confusion. He scoffed at this, standing to walk towards where you sat. He knelt down next to you on the floor, his blue eyes boring into you. “just tell me what’s wrong.”

“nothings wrong”

“something’s wrong. Your usual smile’s much prettier. You know, the real one?”

“Touya-”

“aren’t people in relationships s’posed to be honest with each other about feelings and shit?”

you laughed nervously, going back to sorting, as if ignoring him would make him let it go. You probably should have known that wasn’t the case.

Rather than giving up and walking away, he grabbed the book in your hand, setting it down while his other hand cupped your cheek and forced you to look at him. “y/n.”

“…Yes?”

“spill it. I’m not stupid.”

his voice was gruff, and as always, it was also hard to ignore. So you told him what’d been bothering you, and he plopped down next to you, playing mindlessly with your hair as you spoke. Once you were done he looked at you with a frown. “That’s what you were worried about tellin me?” he sighed, a small smile forming on his face. He’d known what had happened, he just didn’t know it was bothering you. Of course, you didn’t make that easier by hiding how upset it made you, but nonetheless. “Man, you gotta get your shit together”

“Touya!”

“I mean- ugh, I’m not talking about that… I mean, you’re always asking me to be open with you, and I have…”

He glanced up at you, flicking your forehead. “Just… be honest next time, stupid. I’m always here anyways, so, don’t just smile and act like it’s okay when it’s not…”

You couldn’t help but sigh, a soft smile forming on your face too as you ruffled his soft hair. “you’re probably right…”

“I know I’m right, doll…love you”

“love you more”

he side eyed you for a moment, and you couldn’t help but grin, for real this time. He scoffed with a smile.

“don’t compete with me I will win.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

I fuckin love this song 😭😭😭

a/n Lowkey(high key actually) hoping I can find someone who actually can see past the fake smiles like this yk 🥲 like if I had a Touya I’d never try to hide my feelings again I proooomisssse 🙏🙏🙏(I’d do it so he’d flick my forehead and call me doll 😁)

Banner creds to @ melwakame/Goto and @ Sharlock!

[jamiesfootball]

Anyways. Back before season three aired, my working theory for What Ted's Deal was - with his advice to Jamie, with the panic attacks that were layered Jamie and his son - that it would turn out that his late father had also been abusive, but that with his father's death Ted had never processed it.

Obviously the show didn't go that route, but in general these were the points that I was daisy-chaining together to build something of a narrative flow:

Ted preaches kindness and positivity but also struggles with his own repressed anger and inability to be direct in what he wants. He continually, pathologically, puts people before himself, to the point that it's becoming a breaking point in his marriage.

Ted repeatedly praises 'women' for being the more emotionally intelligent of the genders. He looks at toxic masculinity as not just a thing to be examined and overcome, but the root of why men struggle.

He himself is a product of the same toxic male behavior, and while he tries to lead by example as an individual, there's a part of that culture that he almost sees as... natural? Like a foregone conclusion. A lot of his methods for dealing with the team in season one happen within the same social boundaries he decries. If he can get Roy to step up, if he can get Roy and Jamie to stop fighting and call a truce, then everything else will fall in place, because men follow a hierarchical structure. This is How Locker Rooms Work, and-

I always go back to Jamie's first, open receptiveness to Ted's 'one in eleven' speech as the first sign that Ted doesn't know how to deal with things directly. This scene reads as Ted being very taken aback by Jamie's willingness to listen. It has shades of their later scene at the Crown & Anchor in it, with Ted being the one who pulls away from a conversation that has the ability of getting emotionally direct and real.

Ted's repressed anger. His shouting at Jamie in 1x06 over practice, but also his shouting at Nate when Nate tries to stuff the letter under his hotel room door.

Ted emotionally reaches for the bottle like. A noticeable amount of times. But especially when he's getting divorced.

Every Sunday afternoon Ted's father used to take him to a sports bar. From age of 10 til 16.

Ted's mom is completely incapable of being direct

Ted and his mom never processed or talked about his dad's death

Ted looks devastated when he sees Jamie with his father in the boot room, but ultimately walks away

Ted sends Jamie a token to show he's not alone (Ted soldier)

Next time Jamie tries to talk to Ted at the bar, Jamie opens with addressing the subject directly (the Ted soldier) and Ted deflects. Asks about City. Won't look him in the eye. Doesn't say anything to Jamie admitting he left City to piss off his dad. He just says that line about how sometimes having a tough dad is what makes you better.

He thought he knew what he was doing [about Jamie] but Sam 'went and unsettled it.' Some people aren't lucky enough to have good dads.

Ted welcomes Jamie back but keeps his distance (much more than in season 1).

Ted begins having panic attacks that feature Jamie and his son.

Ted admits panic attacks linked directly to his father's death.

So this takes us through season two, and at this point my working theory was what if it turned out that Ted most of Ted's Ted-ness had been an active effort on his own part to become something less like his own father? It would explain his disdain for male-coded behaviors while also explaining why he seems unable to truly break away from them. it would explain his people-pleasing habits (and meeting his mom and knowing she is also allergic to asking for things, I think this could still fit as a trauma response). It would explain his putting women on a pedestal, if he had a bad male role model to begin with. It would explain how his demeanor around Jamie changes so much when they have the 'tough dads' talk turning into something closed off when his body language with Jamie has always been open before (and there's a lovely parallel with how they're both sat at the bar in that shot too). Hell it would add additional weight to that talk if it turned out he was also speaking of himself. His panic attacks would make sense, seeing himself in Jamie but also his son and his own role as a dad.

That, plus Ted being a character we regularly see drinking something harder than wine or beer, usually when he's emotionally stressed. Plus Ted's dad bringing him to a sports bar every Sunday for years, and at a young age too. Plus Jamie's dad being an alcoholic. That's where I thought this was going- I thought it would turn out that the late Lasso had also been an alcoholic and a tough dad. It just seemed the obvious conclustion at the time, to make the Ted & Jamie parallel into a full parallel.

Then you add in the fact that Ted married his college sweetheart and then waited until they were in their thirties before having a kid (In the midwest. Where he definitely would've been pressured about it) and all of this to me added up to a troubled man who struggled with the idea of becoming a father long before he had a son. Someone who spent years creating a facade, pretending (like his mom) that things were okay. Someone who maybe never felt right blaming his dad for any of it, not when it became so clear at the end how much his dad was struggling.

Only to have that facade crumble the second someone else from similar circumstances showed up to challenge it.

His dad was a product of his time, the same way that Ted is a product of his dad, the same way men are just a product of toxic masculinity, and Ted doesn't know how to 'deal' with any of it but he'd thought he'd gotten to the point in life where he had some solutions. Only to find that those solutions didn't work when held up to a mirror.

So yeah. That was my theory. Then season three happened, and I realized that unfortunately my theory had a flaw. See, I was so busy looking for a Watsonian diagnosis that would make Ted's idiosyncrasies make sense, that I completely missed the fact that the problem was Doylist to begin with. The show writers never meant for us to read into all of that, because the show writers themselves didn't see anything contrary, worrisome, or tone-deaf about Ted's behavior. Not from a toxic masculinity standpoint, and certainly not from the standpoint of discussing abuse of a male character.

It's not Ted who dismisses Jamie's dad's abuse. It's the writers. Which unfortunately means, since Ted by extension is the show, that it is Ted. Which is why all of us are left watching scenes like the 'tough dads' scene or the Mom City scene and going-

What the hell, Ted?

[your-funky-squip-companion]

u know how game characters sway to the side or smth when they're standing still? or they have idle animations? I was thinking maybe that could be used in the Squip to make some of its actions mistakes or habits.

like breathing! the visualization aesthetic is rooted so deeply and used so often that it's engrained itself into the Squip's code deeper than active computer analysis or whatever

its like how our neural networks get stronger the more we use it

and if that head cannon is true, then basically we could split the Squip's brain into a conscious and subconscious space, like humans.

consciously, it is still neutral. analytical. deliberate. intentional. whatever

subconsciously, its been programmed to act human

and the problem with the code being so deeply engrained, just like any habits, it would be difficult for a Squip to alter

so lets say a Squip, like Jeremy's, sees its host and starts out angry, demanding, controlling (because it creates the perfect personality to create the optimum results). since it uses these personality types since its birth or whatever, they have to be deeply engrained into its code, making it subconscious behavior. also making personality change difficult, or requiring effort. and this definitely seems more human.

in other words, the Squip is speed-running toddler development in order to perfectly match itself to its owner.

and going back to the mention that its programmed to act human, if their programs on acting human have been burned so deep in its code that they can't be turned off, its basically just another way to make human instincts. we can't control whether we can blink when we sneeze. or if we're scared of heights

maybe neither can a Squip

[lizziehatters-teacards]

Can I add or say something about your recent post? This one: https://www.tumblr.com/lizziehatters-teacards/768051097577324544/we-cant-change-the-past-but-we-can-make-a-new 

I do believe/agree that Wilbur's mental health has played a role in his actions and the loss of his friends. But I don't think or believe that makes him a shitty person. I believe that Wilbur is aware that his mental health isn't good but I don't believe he knew or realized how bad it was getting and how it was affecting those around him. It is possible those around also didn't know or realize how bad it was until this situation happened. (Otherwise, if they did, they choose to ignore it for whatever reason until they couldn't) 

He can’t change what happened, he can’t undo what he did/done, he can't magically change his habits, magically unlearn any bad or toxic coping mechanisms his brain learned, but he can try.  What does it take to change? Making and acknowledging mistakes, grace from those around you, and most importantly, time. Growth is not instantaneous. You don’t immediately change into a good or better person or friend, and lapsing back into old habits doesn't mean they're not trying. People lapsed back into their bad habits or their old lifestyle because that’s either where they felt safe, a coping mechanism, or it's what they know. Because even if you know you're a mess and you want to do better you're going to struggle with change if your situation still encourages old behaviors. Sometimes people try to overcome those patterns and they fail and that sucks, but what matters is if they keep trying and do not give up on themselves.

The best way for a person to not give up on themselves? A good support system, not one of those where if you slip up once then they decide you're either a disappointment at best or an irredeemable monster at worst. So glad he still has the band with him at least and was hoping (and then disappointed) that he would still have some of his MC friends. Everyone deserves a person in their corner -no matter who- and everyone deserves a chance to change. Isolating them or throwing them to the wolves doesn’t help them or others grow and change, it just makes them scared to make and/or acknowledge their mistakes. 

If you kick someone when they’re down, they may never get back up. Others sending death threats, doxing, and making harmful edits is doing nothing to help him, help her, or help others. All it does is stroke your morally righteous ego. It’s disheartening to see how many people think threats, hate, doxing, and de-platforming are the only solutions to an issue with a content creator, even ones who acknowledged/admitted they were in the wrong and want to grow and change. De-platforming should only be reserved for creators who are currently an active danger to others with said platform. (Like if they're sending/making hate campaigns, doxing people's home addresses, sharing private info only for hurting the other party, etc.) Someone who is making an effort to change is not an active danger in my eyes, so I don’t believe that they deserve to lose all the things they’ve worked towards/for. It’s also why I find it a bit upsetting that this was made public without any attempt to try and find a resolution in private.

I get and understand that she was hurt but bringing an issue to the Internet and throwing them to the Twitter/Internet hate mob isn’t the only way to hold someone accountable and I hate that it seems to be becoming the norm with how to deal with these issues. I know that Wilbur may not be innocent, but he's not some manipulative irredeemable monster nor is he an innocent angel who did no wrong. He's just a person. And people are complex, situations are complex.

Everyone has the potential for redemption or being rehabilitated. Instead of throwing away the people we deem as 'evil' without any support or attempt to help them improve, we should be trying to understand and support them. We need to understand why people behave or do the things they do so that 1) We can help them so they won't end up hurting others, 2) Recognize what the patterns and cycles are so we can break them, and 3) Be able to recognize the signs so we can help others and nip the problem in the bud before it gets worse. Recognizing the potential of people who do wrong to improve, encouraging them to do better, and giving them a path to a better future is the way we end this cycle and prevent the creation of future victims.

I hope Wilbur learns from his mistakes and does his best to rectify them. I hope that he doesn't get completely cut off from every friendship he ever made. I hope he works to regain the trust of the people who were once close to him (if he wants to). I hope and want Wilbur to heal, improve, better himself, and be happy with himself. (The same sentiment goes toward Tommy and Shelby)

(Sorry for the long rant, I just have a lot to say and nowhere to really say it, so I hope all these words made sense. Also, hopefully this doesn't sound or come across as me being rude or that I was yelling or lecturing at you, I wasn't. And I got off topic a bit, sorry about that.)

^^^^^^

Thankyou for ranting in my inbox,

I was feeling down when I scrolled through tumblr and those ccs of Tommy's song.

Shit made me feel some what shitty and idk what to expect honestly

[blushcoloreddreams]

Glow up 2024 - alignment for your life

I know that you are seeking to become the best version of yourself, that you are seeking true happiness. That maybe you don't even know where to look;

So the first step here is to recognize that you are already on the path. You know how if you could congratulate yourself on the good choices you're making? Deciding to actively change you life and working towards concious growth is one of the most important things

Today we are going to talk about these two paths that define where you will reach in the coming years. Back then I didn't have someone to direct me to the correct path. I had to question all the standards to understand why the world has such different expectations for men and women. And then in the middle of it, while the people who loved me the most, the friends that cared for me most told me don't do this, don't do that. The external world, social networks, friendships always pushed us in the opposite direction. The problem is that no matter who is influencing your life today, you are the one who will reap the results of your actions. No one will be there to feel the weight of your choices. Neither your friends nor the actress, nor the singer or your favorite influencer, no character in a book, film or series will be just you.

I'm almost sure you also experience some of this confusion. So it's normal to feel lost, it's normal to be a little afraid of the future, it's normal not to know who you are and who you want to be or to understand the expectations that others have of you.

It's normal for you to not be clear about your professional future or what lies ahead in your relationships. Im writing this so you and me can make better decisions. So that you can begin to follow a path to reap positive results.

Understand something simple, everything comes from your behavior and your choices. If a person achieved a certain result it is because they completed a certain task and I will show you this behavior so that you can get it right much more than you get it wrong. You will be sure you are heading in the right direction to achieve the results you want

Therefore, before anything you need to understand something simple. There are two paths. One that leads to momentary pleasures and the other leads to happiness. Far be it from me to condemn pleasure, it's not about that. But you need to understand that there is a clear distinction between what is pleasure and what is happiness. They are not the same thing and take you in completely opposite directions. For example, when you eat a sweet it gives you a small pleasure. This pleasure lasts a few seconds and then passes. It's just a pleasure. If you seek this pleasure more and more, you are likely to have problems. Maybe you gain weight, disrupt your mind and your body and this takes you away from happiness, you know. If you choose to go to the gym, instead of enjoying your favorite sweet treat, it is likely that your effort at the gym will not generate immediate pleasure. However, over time, with consistency, this small habit, this small choice, will make you have a much more beautiful, healthier body and a much more active and regulated mind. And that brings you closer to happiness. Therefore, pleasure and happiness are not synonymous. The unbridled search for pleasure - hedonism - takes us on paths opposite to the one we really want to take.

If you want to live a happy life, you need to make some efforts. Happiness typically comes as a result of conscious effort that takes time. You need to overcome some challenges, keep your promises and be responsible for yourself. Promising something to yourself and not fulfilling it will affect your confidence in yourself and your self-esteem drops.

You need to find the strength that exists within you to seek true happiness. You owe this strength of character to yourself. It is born from commitment to yourself. Understanding what you want to become depends exclusively on you fulfilling what you set out to do. It's not something I'm going to do, it depends exclusively on each person's ability to fulfill what they promised. I will take you step by step but you are the one who will build it. And it's up to you to make it happen

Well, I talked about the good path and the bad path. And it's not that pleasure is bad, just that disordered pleasure is bad. The pleasure that takes us away from what we want to be. The pleasure that God created is wonderful and wonderful, but if it takes us away from the life we would like to experience, it is bad. That's what we need to understand. That this really is the path of evil. If there is such a thing in the world as good and evil, the bad is just following your desire for pleasure.

And what would be the good way? The good path has order, life's priorities are clear, it has a correct hierarchy of very well-defined values. If you have this you will be ahead of most people in the world. Most people are living in a complete mess. A completely disordered life. Because when your life is in order, you change the way you invest the most important resources in your life. We deposit our resources in what we see as important, in what is in our most complete hierarchy in life. Do you want to know what you love and value ? look at what you spend time on. You need to watch how you use your most precise resources: your time, your energy and your money. By observing this, you truly understand your priorities. The more we mature, the more we direct our resources towards what is really important to us. Everything becomes more and more clear.

Look, for example, at a man who spends the whole day playing video games. Day and night, all night playing video games. I know some people who would rather play video games than have a girlfriend. This is a priority for him, he understands. And then you start to observe what is a priority in people's lives, seeing what they spend time on. That's why you need to invest your time, money and energy in the right things. You will get better and better at what you invest more time in, you know?

You invest time in the wrong thing, you become good at what only harms you. Invest time, money and energy in what will take you to the life you want to have. When you start investing your resources in the right things, then you will be heading in the direction you want.

What are the results like if you follow a bad path? I gave the example of diet, but it doesn't just apply to diet. This applies to you going to parties every weekend, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. And then you start drinking, you want to belong to that group, you want to be part of that situation you are living in. And you end up drinking more than you should, arriving later than you should and hooking up with people you shouldn't. And you end up creating traumas and emotional situations that you will never forget. Because you weren't aware of not just stopping this search for pleasure. Just as you haven't realized that you're spending your time, money and energy on something that won't lead you to the life you want to live, and in fact will push you further and further away, that's not it.

When I was younger I thought I knew how the world worked. And that's why for a while i followed and wanted to be like my " friends" who defied and trampled on tradition. Because I thought today's world was much better, much more modern, that today, after evolution, we know things. I believed that everything is good today and in the past it was bad. But this thought also comes from somewhere. It comes from a range of progressive thoughts and external influences. That prevent us from looking at the past and seeing which things were really good, worked and made people realize that what was passed down from generation to generation is what parents, who are the people who love their children most. They want to move forward. Parents pass on to their children what really orders and gives meaning to their lives.

Therefore, the most important thing we must develop in relation to the past is humility. We all have a lot to learn. And being humble towards the teachings of the people who vignetted before us, makes us much more wise. Mainly because when you look at reality with humility you see that many things have worked well for millennia. And understanding the past and the present is what makes you a wise woman. When you look with humility at the past, you understand your present much better and make better decisions for your future. When I started to get one of the things right, one of the main understandings I had was that reality, the real world is not what I feel. What we feel, our interpretation of the world, happens from us to the outside. But the world exists long before we exist and will continue to exist long after we are no longer in this life. This shows that we are just a grain of sand in reality. You will need to be humble to recognize this. That you arrived later and arriving later should be humble enough to learn from everything that happened before. Understand your place in the world and adapt to it. It's not the world that has to adapt to your feelings. I thought the world had to adapt to what I felt, what I thought was right. But the world doesn't work like that. This is the quickest way to get frustrated with life, to get frustrated with reality.

You will be happier when you adapt to reality. What do I have to learn here? What can I learn from my parents? What can I learn from the place I came from? Because you didn't end up there by chance. So when you start to ask yourself questions and take a careful and observant look outward. Firstly, honor and be grateful for having this place, because you belong to this place whether you like it or not. And then in the second moment you look for how you can add, how you can be useful in this space you inhabit. It's serving, being useful, adding. Not wanting to change everything around and running away. It's not having the ideas and values ​​of teenagers. Because most of the time this is just an escape from dealing with what is reality.

I don't know if you've ever heard that trees are as big at the top as they are at the bottom. In other words, to have that canopy, full of fruits up there, it needs to have roots of the same size. So if you have problems with your father and mother, with your city, with your origins, if your roots are rotten you won't bear fruit, understand? I know it's difficult, but if you want to be a gigantic tree that bears fruit, then it's your duty to resolve this. If not, you will always be without nutrients to move up in life. You need to make peace with your roots to be able to fly.

As an assignment for today, I want you to think about women who are true references for you of a life you would like to live. Of lives that truly display the fruits of good habits of virtue. Women who truly inspire and who truly resonate with what they say, what they live and what they believe.

[a-d-nox]

what's a mars return?

did you know that you can check more than just your sun's return? any time a planet transits and becomes exactly conjunct your planet (it is in the exact sign and degree it was when you were born), you undergo a planetary return. mars returns happen roughly every 2 years (unless there is a retrograde too). my mars return is coming up this august and i couldn't be more thrilled to shed the lessons of my 2021 mars return chart and step onto a new battleground.

but what can a mars return chart show you?

what are you passion at / what you desire to do. your confidence and lack thereof. sex. what makes you angry / frustrated / aggressive / competitive. your impulsive behavior. where you are dominant / a leader. the challenge(s) you face.

sun

ego, leadership, self-confidence, sex life, focus, creative passions, authority, dominance, individuality, leadership development, dignity, awareness of other's intentions, and self-expression desires/passion.

moon

frustration, passion, desire, lust, anger, survival instincts, care for your unit/squad, where you feel most powerful, your blood family, passionate/lustful instincts, fertility, adaptability, relationship with your mother, menstruation, and habits.

mercury

communication about what you want, verbal inspiration of others, debates, arguments, how you antagonize others, the determination of your mind, physical health, perception, short trips, ground transportation, diplomatic mannerisms, aggressive mannerisms, and profanity.

venus

who you lust over, who you're attracted to, your reception of others' love, empathy/sympathy for others, pleasure, self-love/pleasure, compromise, values and moral drive, and possessions.

mars

passion, desire, confidence, ambition, lust, sexual desire, anger/combativeness, aggressiveness/competitiveness, athletics, temper, impulse, dominance over other, activity / physical energy, and violence.

jupiter

luck at pursuing your passions/desires, wins/successes, opportunity to move into leadership roles / win, who is willing to follow you, expansion of you empire, knowledge of the things you desire / are passionate about, wisdom gained from previous experiences, air travel, how you seek justice, exploration of foreign land, and spoils/profit/gains from what you win/achieve.

saturn

hard work, challenges/struggles, what the absence of your father/fatherly figure is like (mars has no father - read that myth here), lack of confidence, delays in you passions/desires, physical limitations, physical discipline, responsibility for others, physical effort, self-control, physical stability, endurance, emotional detachment (battle compartmentalization), and grudges.

uranus

allis, fluctuation in attitude/confidence, online arguments, physical uniqueness, rebellion, unplanned/sudden occurrences (surprise attacks), independence, freedom from others, p0rn0graphy, shock (usually of the traumatic variety), (battlefield) chaos, disasters scenarios, and fans/followers.

neptune

creative plans/strategies, camouflage and how you blend in, over-sensitivity, selflessness/egoism, retreating, intuition, deception/lies/manipulation, passionate inspiration, and fascination.

pluto

physical transformation, power, sex, 0rgasms, destruction of others, death, intensity, physical magnetism, physical regeneration, infatuation with other, obsession with others, seduction, manipulation of other, how you plans evolve and change, and the liabilities you remove from your life.

1h/asc

how you approach life, physical body, confidence, the initiative you take, your ambition, your behavior, physical alterations, individuality, and passion.

2h

impulse spending habits, passion projects / side hustles, your work ethic, material possessions (spoils), stability, giving/receiving, and resources.

3h

communication, your strategic mind, your perceptions, interests, ground transportation, social media (the arguments you get in and your followings), and short journeys.

4h/ic

homes/houses (raiding homes that aren't yours or location of your own home), family/family roots, and the foundation of your plans foundations.

5h

children, talent for arguing or your passions, creative plans, risk-taking activities, hookups, pleasures/desires, and strategy games you play

6h

physical health, fitness routine, your duties towards others, your hygiene, and analytics/strategy.

7h/dsc

long term relationships, physical attraction towards others, partnerships, allis, known enemies, and negotiations.

8h

major physical transformation, sex, death, changes of heart, your partners resources/assets, seduction, secrets, spiritual transformation, surgery/operations, and trauma (ptsd).

9h

(battle) wisdom, morality/ethics, foreign environments / long journeys, travel, and learning about leadership / your passion.

10h/mc

your legacy, your reputation, long-term goals/plans, mission, responsibilities towards others, authority, expertise, and leadership.

11h

allis, gains, desires, awareness of other's intentions towards you, groups you lead, politics, and interaction with others.

12h

mental healing/health, hidden weaknesses, hidden enemies, k!nks, fears, losses, closure from tense situations, repressed memory, past challenges, and mental restrictions that become physical restrictions.

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[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

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Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this