#make me want to not watch it. do you really think your opinion on what’s bad and what’s good means anything to me.
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Hello ladies and gents!
What you all have been waiting for has arrived! THE TEA.
I just have a few things I want to say first to bring understanding and clarification. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not going to try to sway you one way or another. I'm just going to lay it all out and let you decide. I feel what I share should be able to speak for itself. I may share some opinions and conclusions I've come to, but that is all. Opinions are not facts. It's just what I personally think.
I will admit the tea was served to me with a clear bias, so I will also have to pass it on with a bias.
I don't believe in trying to influence what you think and believe. Trying to coerce you into what I think, because it really doesn't matter. I think it should speak for itself. Those who influence and try to control what you think do so because they want to brainwash you into their way of thinking. I don't think that's right. Autonomy is so important to me. You should have your own freedom in that. So just take it in. Think it over. Decide for yourself.
Use some critical thinking.
Because I will say, when people get a little loud, defensive and aggressive and try to manipulate you and convince you of something, there is a reason. They're usually feeling threatened and insecure. And want to distract you and lead you away from what they don't want you to see. They will flow through different gears. Aggression and defensive to sometimes dismissive. Truth doesn't require such aggressive defending. Truths speak for themselves. Lies don't. Lies need weaving and defending.
So whenever someone has got defensive with me, I pause and bring a more critical eye to the situation. Why? Why are you defensive? What are you trying to deflect? Or if they get dismissive and almost seem to try to make you feel like an idiot for even considering it. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you even give that a thought?". Theres something off there.
And every single time I've experienced that, I later realized it was because I was getting a little too close to comfort to seeing a truth. Many people can't handle the shame of being found out. So they try to intimidate. They get loud, defensive, or they'll try a different gear and attempt to dismiss it. So, just keep that in mind. If something is being talked about and causes a commotion, there is a reason why.
I keep in mind that people see and interact with the world with their own lense. People who bluster and bully, that says more about them. That reflects on them. It has nothing to do with me. It doesn't intimidate me. Go ahead. I'm not going to volly back. It's not worth it to me. I rather watch snow melt.
So go ahead, try to bully me. Riot and whoever else. You'll just be fighting with yourself. I didn't even bother reading what riot was posting because I really didn't care. I just immediately blocked her so I would stop being tagged and included with the infantile behavior. Do what you have to in order to cope. If it's throwing all the heinous words, threats and whatever else at me, go hard and have fun. And if some of the "NV stans" are paid like some think, then you go earn that coin! Put money in the bank! We all have bills to pay. I get it 🤣. But that still supports my point. If you're on a payroll, you're being told to go be loud and distractive for a reason.
Now. I went in search for answers. I'm snoopy and I want to understand. I ask questions. This entire thing has been bizarre and I think many could see that. It wasn't convincing. I knew there would be cracks and leaks if you searched hard enough. There's people out there that can't help themselves, regardless of administration and NDAs. There are many people around them. Some more consistently and some in passing. I knew there had to be a hotel worker, a sound guy, a friend of a friend, a waitress or something like that out there that would have seen or heard something. Some people can't help themselves if they think something is juicy. They'll tell their spouse, best friends, and maybe their parents. So I went in search for these people. I was determined and I did finally make some connections with seemingly valuable information. The one in particular proved themselves out when they told me that Henry and Natalie would have a public appearance soon. A few days later was the Enola Holmes premiere. The others had plausible stories that I wasn't seeing be talked about. I took it in under consideration, and that's where those stories still are filed. "Consideration and speculation." This is gossip. It's heresay. You have to remember that. It's not the gospel truth and should not be taken that way. Although I will say, personally speaking, that I'm lending it more weight based on the aggression I faced when I first started posting. Something in there is ruffling feathers and there is a reason.
I'll repeat. I'm not the only one who knows this stuff. If they were willing to tell me, they were willing to tell others. It has also been discussed in group chats. I myself have shared with selected people. This information is out there. I'm just the one who decided they were bored, realized they were sitting with all this gossip, and decided to put on the kettle. I knew what I was doing. I don't plan on outting my connections and sources. I don't think I could anyway if I wanted. They were careful. Thank you for your patience. I felt like I was back in university, sifting through textbooks and notebooks while I wrote an essay. That is what took time, trying to go back through conversations to make sure I had it right.
Now the fun begins! Remember, this is all alleged, gossip and heresay and not the gospel truth. I'm just repeating what all I've managed to find. Also, keep in mind I've been snooping and filing everything away for years. There is a lot to recall. I have had many many hours of conversations about this shit show. So even with all I share, I feel like you still will only get a summary. I feel like this could be written into a novel. Keep truck loads of salt nearby.
I've had multiple sources over the years. Some long term. Some have come and gone. I'm not going to keep mentioning them, but my making these multiple connections has enabled me to get all this gossip. It pays to be stubborn and snoopy.
This is probably going to come across as a story and in a way they are. It's gossip. It's multiple stories I've heard about them. I'm going to try to relay it how it was relayed to me.
Let's start from the beginning.
Henry was still under management with Dany. Dany liked to utilize PR relationships. They're common in Hollywood. They're a good way to generate traffic online and in the media with a celebrities name. People want to know the hottest gossip. Who is dating who. It helps keep their name being mentioned and relevant. In this type of business, they want to be relevant.
They wanted him to look like he upped his game from past girlfriends. They wanted to give him the look that he had a hot shot, big-time girlfriend in the industry. She wanted to take her career in a different direction, and she was only too happy to play along. She had been selected by Dany, and he agreed. There was a contract between them. It was originally only to last under a year. It was to be a business transaction.
Hollywood is all smoke and mirrors. They sell you what they want you to believe. It's a production. Even "real life" stuff. It's a business.
It's a cesspool if you ask me.
Social media is important to officials in Hollywood. Social media is another business tool to them. So they got her verified and a following to help her business, as stipulated in their contract. He was obligated to do that for her. It is also why he had to keep naming her publicly. It was in one of his contracts. He had to promote her. People thought it weird he kept naming her by her full name if she was a girlfriend, and I agree. It's fucking weird to do that for a girlfriend. But she wasn't his true girlfriend. She was a business associate and in my opinion, he told us that by calling her a "Partner". That was not a lie. She was a business partner. They were linked by a business contract.
They tried improving her image. They wanted her to be taken seriously. Her image reflected on him. The entire point was so he could have an elevated image. She was given a lot of guidance on how to act and portray herself. They put in a lot of effort. It was a complete scrub down and then rejuvenation.
She was terminated from Legendary. I was told because she was caught stealing their property. I was told it was a script. Which to me makes sense, because if you take that script to a competitor it can cause lots of problems and money lost. She also had a reputation as a bully in the workplace. She caused problems and was not easy to work with. Her ex coworkers have talked about her behavior online before. I've seen allegations on Reddit and IG from former coworkers against her.
Henry and her were in contract during this time. In short, the contract said he had to help her career. Her getting herself fired became his problem. He had already been in talks with Vertigo at this point for a possible producing partnership. He had been able to get her a sham title, articles and some contracted work. So she had worked for Vertigo but not as what they say. She hasn't had a permanent job since Legendary. But he did this to try to cover what happened and to help her become desirable to hire
Natalie also made many threats against Henry. She was not happy with the result of their contract. He was fulfilling his obligations, but she was not happy with the results. She expected more. She kept saying she would not leave until she was satisfied. She threatened that she would lie and tell stories against him.
This is after the era of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Amber Heard managed to be successful in ruining Johnny Depps life for a number of years with some lies. Obviously the two situations are slightly different but the core factors are the same. Lies managed to really cause upheaval in a man's life.
I can only speculate how Henry felt when he realized what he had to work with. He clearly took the threats seriously.
They renewed their contract many times. So there is a paper trail.
He tried to find a middle ground. But she couldn't be controlled. She stepped on so many peoples toes. She was so rude to people around them. He tried to keep conflicts to a minimum but she became too much. Staff members had enough, and they left. He tried to keep conflict to a minimum, but he couldn't manage. That's sad because staff members had to face bullying and abuse. In trying to appease her so she wouldn't go spread lies to the press and online, he couldn't also manage to keep a safe work environment. It's very sad and unfortunate. They were just working to get further in life like everyone else and shouldn't have had to be subjected to that. That's my opinion.
There has also been much conflict in regards to his families dislike of her. They don't hide that they don't like her and they don't invite her around. They don't include her, and there is always a distinct separation between them and her. There have been quite a few fights over this. I've heard she's embarrassed about the fact they don't hide it. TW3 premiere family pictures were to passify her.
They have so many reasons to not like her.
I mean it when I say she is unable to emotionally regulate herself. Each of my sources has had something to say about her behavior. It's a common theme.
She snaps. She loses control. She's impulsive. They've said it's like she loses her reason to her rage.
She screams. She yells. She throws things.
She has got physical in these episodes.
There is one such story I was told. There was witnesses. She must not have cared or she didn't think it through.
She was making demands of Henry. He was trying to explain what she wanted wouldn't work, she got angry, slapped him clear across his face, and then shoved him. They were separated. He went to get his gym gear immediately and left for the gym. She was escorted out. I was told there was a threat of getting the authorities involved that never amounted to anything. I'll talk more on this closer to the end. It's mostly opinion.
She has thrown things at him. She has yelled at and belittled him. She's gotten physical. And not just with him. Others have been involved in these episodes of hers.
His family was appalled, and everyone knew it. They wanted her gone, but there was a contract, and he was afraid she would follow through on her threats and he would have to deal with that disaster. My opinion, is he wanted to try to make it all work and he could get to the otherside. Help her career, keep her happy and he won't have to deal with his reputation being lied on and trying to fix it. I can guess he didn't want to live what Johnny Depp did. Johnny Depp was able to get his life back but for a big chunk of years his life was ruined.
She has also been unpleasant to his family and there's been fights over it. Word gets around. People know. You also just have to look at them and know not all is well there. But I have had people ask how he could let that happen and he hasn't just allowed it. There were big fights about her behavior towards them. With others around. A common theme is she doesn't mind fighting with an audience. My opinion and speculation is that perhaps she does that as a way to embarrass and manipulate him. To possibly try to exert dominance over him. Maybe she thought she had a higher chance of getting her way if she did it with an audience. But people talk, they gossip, and you have people like me who keep their nose to the ground, sniffing out stories like this that aren't really talked about. If you search hard enough, you will find a chink in the armor.
There's also been very long stretches of time he hasn't been physically available to her. She told her friends and family it was just normal long-distance relationship stuff. She's told her friends and family that it's a real relationship. He knows that. His business associates know that. My opinion is I don't think she could live with the shame of them knowing it was just supposed to be a business transaction. My opinion is she wanted them to believe she managed to bag Henry Cavill for herself. If my source is to be believed, she told them she slipped into his DMs, he took notice and responded positively.
But I was told it was because there was nothing coming up to promote during those stretches and he was off living his life and she was home living hers. I do know she had access to his Florida house at one point. Dany helped her with that. Dany had a lot of power and access to Henrys life. He allowed it. My opinion is he was naive and put too much trust in her. I know he changed all the codes, passwords and locks to everything in that house as a result.
I've already spoke on the Fuck Off post. It was a result of Natalie running to Dany upset at the backlash she was receiving. She was upset and felt it was getting in the way of what she wanted to achieve from this business deal. I suppose Dany felt the post was needed and concocted that post. My opinion is she tried to make it sound like he was some white knight protecting his damsel in distress lady love, and it came across disingenuous. Because it was. He hadn't been made a part of that plan. He was not happy, people knew, and Dany and him had a meeting over it. I don't know what was said in that meeting. I did ask lol. But I do know he was not happy with Dany, and it did play a part in her no longer being his manager. As I said, he had too much trust in her. Social media is a business tool, and his business associates have access to it. He had it so she could do with it what she felt was needed. He had given her that authorization.
Their contract had come to an end when filming in Turkey came around. Everything was supposed to have ended by then.
She suddenly showed up in Turkey using the last of her money while bringing her sick dog. She called crying to Henry about how she had no money and still hadn't managed to find a permanent job. She could no longer stay where she was, and to top it off, Meat was very sick, and she could not afford his vet care. I was told Henry had told her she could come and stay for a short visit and he would help her with Meats vet care. At that point, he didn't say anything about helping her with a job or finding a new home. It was, for now you can stay and I'll help with your dog. She was destitute at that point. This is the point where things went completely nuclear.
She caused many problems during the filming of this movie. She caused disturbances and scenes on set. There was a huge production hold up. She came on set and caused a huge scene with Henry. She was the perpetrator, the aggressor. Henry was taken aside by Jerry Bruckheimer himself and was given heck from him. That something like that could not occur again. They had a schedule they had to keep, too. They could not afford a hold-up like that again if it could be helped. So he needed to control her. She ended up being banned from Guy Ritchies films. This is just speculation on my part, but I do believe Alan Ritchson even alludes to the production holdup that resulted from her meltdown in an interview. I also speculate Guy Ritchie went out on a limb for Henry in that interview, where he made sure people understood Henry was a gentleman. It was his films these disturbances happened. He witnessed the meltdown from Natalie aimed at Henry. He knew and heard the aggression lobbied at him. My opinion is he wanted to say his piece and defend Henry from any possible rumors that stemmed from that. I also believe Henry wasn't expecting it. You can see in the interview from his reaction. He went to bat for Henry of his on volition.
She was not even allowed anywhere near the filming sets in Tenerife. She had been served a legal notice about it.
The thing with Natalie is. Everyone knows and has talked about how fame hungry she is. She wants to be a celebrity. It is why she entered the contract to begin with and kept making threats so she could get her way and force him to help her make her way in stardom. In my opinion, she was ruthless. Scare Henry into compliance so she could ride his coat tails. But the thing is, she did succeed in a way. People did know of her association with him. She was publicly known as his girlfriend, just like she wanted. That means throughout the years of her association with Henry, she has been caught with her ass out, almost literally. There's been a few dalliances with different men. Can it be classified as cheating? Henry and her definitely had a weird thing going on. I wouldn't call it romantic. Their relationship was built on fear and was very toxic. But she has been seen out with men. Henry does know about it. He is not ignorant to it. Those around him know about it. That's how I know, but I've also seen some of the rumors through the years myself apart from my connections. Even after posting on here, I've had a few anons ask about the different stories of her out partying and being seen with men. If there's no romantic relationship between her and Henry and it's just the most toxic business relationship known to man EVER, then she can do that. She can have fun with men. But don't be mad if you get what you want, which is seen and recognized. People know who you are. And those people don't have NDAs to protect you. They can go to their friends and say, "I saw Henrys girlfriend drinking and grinding up on some guy who definitely was not Henry". You can't be mad if that gets out and paints you in a bad light. Exactly that happened, and people know about it. She's a party girl and that didn't stop during her association with him. She's been seen out.
Let's not be naive. They have slept together. Everyone is adults. Let's not be children about it. But...
What is embarrassing is what is being said about it.
He told people around him that he could not remember ever going unprotected and that it was only ever a moment of weakness. This is just what he apparently told people and what leaked out from that. I have seen it discussed very briefly in a few private chats, but it is also something my sources shared too. That is what he was saying. He couldn't remember ever going unprotected, and he is embarrassed at the mishap if that's the case.
She told him she was pregnant and he didn't believe her. I asked why he didn't believe her, and all I was told was he thought it was another manipulation story she was using to try to get more out of him. He figured he had always been careful as a rule, so he would be in the clear. She had been poised to tell the tabloids for money. She still hadn't managed to find a job in the industry, which at this point you have to ask why, she had very little money and she was pregnant. He was ignoring her. So she was going to sell the story. He got in contact with her and realized she was telling the truth. He gave her money to hush her up. They discussed the situation. They came to the decision they were going to co parent. At this point, he did believe he could have been the father. He had slept with her recently enough it was possible. I was told that meticulous planning went into this pregnancy situation. She wanted it to be used for clout. They did influence the timeline. People have caught on to that. They did want to throw people off. It was all part of the plan. They had a very tight schedule for everything. It was meticulous. And there had been a birth announcement originally planned.
He again went to help her with a career. He went back to trying to promote her. She now had a baby she had to help look after. She didn't even have to threaten his career this time lol. I was told he wanted the baby to be looked after and provided for by both. He didn't hide that from those around him. It was all very carefully put together and planned out. It was all very intentionally done. Even the things that throw people off, it was intentional.
South Korea was all about Natalie. I'm sure everyone knows what is said about them is known. They do know about the stories going around. They're not ignorant. They polished everything to help Natalie's image based on past criticism. She was pregnant then. And her weight loss? A result from wicked morning sickness. She had awful morning sickness at the beginning of her pregnancy. I remember being told she wouldn't eat because it made her sickness so much worse. I was told she was even harder to deal with then. It wasn't ozempic like people speculated. She was already pregnant then. SK was all about promoting her and a bit about their PR relationship to help bring attention. It was part of the plan.
They both got reprimanded for their performance in SK. There was some ignorance that landed them both in hot water. Her for her appearance and him for 'allowing' it and their PDA. They both were told they wouldn't be welcome anytime soon. Which is funny considering her IG post. It's like she didn't want that found out, so she told the public the opposite of what happened. That's my opinion and speculation. I was only told they both got in trouble, why, and what was said.
It is why the London premiere was very different. They both were reeling from the trouble. And she was told there would be no PDA and she got mad. She caused a scene beforehand. I also can only speculate but I do think she wanted people to begin to talk about a pregnancy then. Her choice of outfit, and the way she was posing and making sure the coat was pulled back. She knew it would emphasize the baby bump forming. That's my opinion. She wanted the rumor mill to start flowing then. Again, my opinion.
NYC. Guy Ritchie didn't want her around. She caused so many problems during MOUW and she was completely barred from the filming in Spain. I was told Jerry B also had a hand in that decision. So she would be unable to debut on the red carpet so they had to get creative. They arranged paparazzi to come. I was told they wanted it to look like they were being followed around and like they both were a big deal. It was staged. All of it. All part of the big plan.
The red carpet premiere in NYC. The choice to have no significant others for the actors was deliberate. To be fair and look uniform. Even the interview was pre-planned. He used it as an opportunity to promote her. That was the plan.
The Father's Day post was also part of the plan. It was all promotion. It was the plan. He would make the post, and then she would piggyback off it.
When I say it was meticulous, it was very meticulous. They also had to do things when he was around and had the time. Even if he wasn't filming, he had films he knew that were upcoming that would need work. He had meetings and trainings. He would still have to travel. So things had to be done when he could do it, such as pictures. Such as public sightings. All of their public sightings were part of it. The dinners. Everything. It was like they were trying to run a tight ship and work around a schedule, in my opinion. So keep that in mind when you wonder about timelines.
Everything went to shit when the baby was born. And there is a baby. Regardless of what some may try to push lol.
She would show up when he was at work and bring her baby. She was never invited. I was told in true Natalie fashion, it was disruptive. But people took notice of the baby. Rumors started. That they both heard. Rumors that the baby didn't really resemble him. She stopped showing up. But the damage had been done. His family had also been urging him to be smart and not just take her on her word, especially based on past occurrences with her. There had been quite a few discussions about that from the beginning.
This is where my information gets spotty, and you have to puzzle it together.
He did contest paternity, and I do know that the judge had to get involved. She was told that if she refused, the judge would then rule it was because she would know the answer to the paternity test and that would be the end of it. She was caught between a rock and a hard place.
Now this is where things get quiet.
But this is the reason why nothing further has been mentioned on the pregnancy or baby, regardless of him saying in that interview more would be coming. In that point of time a lot more had been planned to come.
They have been fighting it out in court.
He has since given her a legal correspondence that she had to leave his house and be gone by the time he returned home from work out of the country. She had also been told to leave him alone while he is at work.
She had been living at his residence but I was told seperate from him. They didn't get along, and I was told that was done so there would be minimum conflict and fighting between the two. He allowed her to stay since she had been pregnant and then had the baby there with no steady income of her own. I was told he felt it was his responsibility to help her get back on her feet.
He didn't buy that house for Natalie or because they were together. I asked lol. There was no commitment between them. My opinion is they only occasionally rolled in the hay together, and she ended up getting pregnant around one of the times. I was told he told people he bought the house for his family. He meant his parents, siblings and nephews and nieces to congregate. As well as preparing for the next stage of his life. He did tell people he wanted to settle down within the next few years, and have a family home in place for when he met someone and began that stage, it had nothing to do with Natalie. I double checked.
Natalie is gone. He sent that correspondence and I was told he wouldn't help her with paperwork anymore that would allow her to stay in the UK. She had to leave.
I was told he has no plans right now to ever talk about the baby.
I don't know the results of that paternity case. I asked lol. I was told gag order and I've seen speculation of the case being sealed.
In my opinion, no one will know the paternity for a long time. But based on puzzle pieces, of people that worked with him saying it didn't look like him and her subsequent disappearance whereas before she had no problem being around. The silence when they told the public more was coming. The fact he asked her to leave and she was told to leave him alone. I feel one can read between the lines. The way they act is apparent there are secrets.
My opinion is that the baby should be left alone. It did nothing to anyone. It's here because Natalie wanted it here. I also can't say gender. I know people think it's a female. But the baby was always referred to as her baby or the baby when spoken of in my conversations. Natalie is a single mother. Let her deal with that. It can't be easy.
So while everything in regards to the baby has suddenly quieted down. I personally would hedge my bets on him not being the father based on other factors surrounding.
My opinion is we will never see that baby. She suddenly disappeared after those rumors around his work environment made their rounds. She hasn't proudly shown off her baby online even with the face hidden. She has completely retreated, which is not her usual way of doing things.
This wasn't because of privacy. Their plan feel apart and they didn't complete it.
That is the main course. The rest is just opinions and what I consider minor factors.
She has not had a steady job since her termination from Legendary. I mentioned earlier she got paid for her appearances with Henry and yall went weird with that one. I was not implying she was an escort or he was paying her for sex. Fucking hell everyone lol.
She was being compensated for her time. It was part of the job. There is nothing wrong with that. Plus, she needed the money. It was considered work for her, and so she should get paid.
I can't sit here and tell you she beat Henry. I only know of the one occurrence where she slapped him. If it's happened more times, it was behind closed doors with no witnesses. But she has tried to shove him and has thrown things at him on multiple occasions.
I've asked and never received a clear answer. But why no consequences for her acting violently. I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they felt it wouldn't go anywhere. Henry isn't exactly a small man. He's tall and broad. Maybe he felt he wouldn't be believed. Or because of his stature, he felt he could handle it. Again, I dont know. This is just speculation I've made about it.
My opinion is that it is so incredibly sad. No one should have to sit through that. I don't care if you're six foot whatever and 220 LBS of muscle. If someone is acting violently against you, you should be able to to say something. We have a long way to go in order for men being able and comfortable to speak up.
It's very easy to ask why you didn't just leave. You have to live through something similar yourself to understand. Abuse and toxic situations like this do something very weird to our brains. You can look it up. If it's happened long enough, the structure of our brains change. Different areas go in over drive and areas fire off that normally wouldn't. It changes our behavior. We go into some sort of survival mode.
People have noticed, myself included, that he has changed over the recent years. He looked like shit for one, and like he's been drained of life and left a husk. You can tell just by looking at him something is not right. His attitude also changed. He seemed more irritable. He didn't seem like himself any longer. Something was changing in him.
Maybe this was why.
I can't say for certain. Just based off some gossip I was told and piecing other parts together that would possibly explain things. I also had to do some amateur research on brains, abuse and the effects. I went in lol. When I say I wanted to understand, I really meant it. That means taking the time to research and try to put it together.
Again, I can't say for sure this is true. Only they can officially clarify and verify. These conclusions are my own based off my own snooping, digging, analyzing and researching. Take that in how you want.
I believe these two were a business transaction gone horribly wrong. I believe they had a very toxic situation. I believe it was very stupid. I also believe she was the main problem. She threatened him to make him help her climb the stardom ladder. She used and abused him.
He tried much too hard to appease her because he had feared her. In doing that, he allowed an unsafe work environment to crop up. He also did a huge disservice towards himself. In showing her that he would bend to her, taught her it would work. It created a vicious cycle. Of course, she is going to continue to use a weapon she knows works.
He was stomped all over.
They're both not innocent or saints. He allowed a lot of things to occur that never should have.
But I also think it's possible he was subject to things no one ever should be as well.
She must have put too much faith in the NDAs. If you treat people badly enough. And inspire enough dislike, I think you'll be hardpressed to stop their betrayal. Fear does not inspire loyalty.
These are my opinions and conclusions I have drawn. You're free to make your own. I just want to share what I have learned, which this is still a condensed summary but this is the main bulk of it.
I wanted a clearer picture of what was happening. It took time and effort, but I believe I succeeded. But you're free to disagree with me. I won't convince you otherwise if you do. I've already shared what I think and believe. That's enough for me.
Now, let's brace ourselves. We got a taste already of what to expect.
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Love your Eden’s Garden analyses my dude. Seriously, you’ve tackled aspects of certain characters I hadn’t even considered. I agree about Eloise being one of the blackened, girl is hiding nerves of steel behind a thin layer of shyness. I also think she’s gonna be connected to Desmond as the thing he guards and trusts the most (in reference to what was described in his blackmail). Upon further analysis, Desmond strikes me as someone who wants people to trust him, but has issues trusting others, outside of maybe Eloise. In a nutshell, he wants people to trust him without him putting his trust in other people. That’s his hypocrisy, in my mind at least.
I’m also gonna keep an eye on Grace in the chapter(s) going forward, in addition to Diana and Kai. Her silence after Eva’s execution speaks volumes. Mayhaps she’ll be going through a character arc? I feel like even SHE thought that execution was way too cruel.
On to my questions though! Out of curiosity, with what you’ve said about students’ deaths being linked to their hypocrisies, who do you think is the least hypocritical in the cast? By extension, who do you think is most likely to survive and/or die, at least within the next chapter or two?
Thanks so much lol I'm glad people ave enjoyed my thoughts so far and I've loved hearing everyone else's opinions and theories as well this whole week!
As to answer your question, I've got to say I think the "least" Hypocritical student so far is actually a controversial opinion of mine since I've noticed lots of people don't like his character T_T
It's Kai Monteago. (Note: I have NOT done everyone's FTE's yet but I'm gonna watch each one for this update soon!)
Now, this does not mean I don't think Kai lies or is a hypocrite, just that I think out of everyone on the cast so far he's the one who's the most honest about how he actually feels.
If Wolfgang is the most Hypocritical person because he hides everything he's feeling and doesn't let anyone know what he's actually thinking, then I think Kai is the least hypocritical out of the student body (minus Damon & Diana bc I think they're both being set up obviously as the protag and antag) because he's so honest about everything about himself and doesn't actually feel the need to hide his own insecurities, worries, fears, and anxieties.
Whenever anything goes remotely bad, Kai is always the first out of the cast to admit he didn't actually trust anyone, he's also the only one who's outwardly always wary of others and nervous. He just doesn't like thinking about the potential for someone murdering him or someone winding up dead. But it's pretty clear just from how he acts in his FTE's, trial, and body discovery that he not only doesn't trust anyone there but that he's not afraid to admit that openly when shit hits the fan.
For Kai, it seems like he's fully aware of the situation and thus knows that just agreeing with whatever the rest of the cast is talking about will keep him safe. He obviously is still a bit of a hypocrite because he's judging the ones who openly admit to not trusting other people, but he's also the first of the cast to always admit he had reservations about trusting them to begin with.
In a way, I can't exactly say Kai is a bad person because of his hypocrisy. He's only been an Ultimate for like 1-2 years, which is way less time than most of the student body. All of this is very new to him, he reminds me of Makoto in that sense where he was someone who would've never thought they'd be an Ultimate, or someone who became one by chance. Even the story he shares of how he became The Ultimate Influencer makes me believe that it really was just dumb luck that he got his title.
And he's only really falling in line because he obviously sees the way everyone treats you when you don't agree with the majority opinion, even if that majority opinion is rooted in rationality. In a way, it makes sense that Kai would act this way because he's an Influencer and has to deal with widespread groupthink about himself daily lol Any small action he did in the outside world was scrutinized and judged by an invisible audience, so now when he's in a situation like this he just goes with whatever will make the most people like him.
Though I can definitely see Kai breaking out of that kind of mindset the more he becomes friends with other people, and now that Wolfgang is gone, I definitely think the rest of them will act more freely instead of looking towards a leader of sorts. This is also why I think Kai will be the "support" character for Damon that we thought Eva would be. Kai is the one person left now who's wholly honest about himself, meaning he and Damon can become friends quicker that way and potentially work on investigations.
Also the two of them have very similar talents in the sense that "anyone could do this". But their ideas about their talents are swapped. Someone mentioned earlier that they think Damon might hate being a Debater or that he has some kind of insecurity rooted in the fact that he's a Debater. And I kind of agree. Where as Kai is wholly proud of his title as the Ultimate Influencer, Damon is very insecure about being seen as the Ultimate Debater and makes up for it with a big ego.
He doesn't let anyone look down on him for being an internet personality, and doesn't let lies about his past or things people wouldn't know about anyways (like the scandal he mentions in his FTE) get to him. But Damon flounders when someone even remotely challenges the idea of his talent being "useless" to society. In truth, the both of them are like foils and will probably be paired more often especially since they share a room together.
#This is not to say that Kai doesn't or never worked hard or whatever#but the story for FTE reminds me of the youtubers who made a video one day that just went viral lol#p:eg#kai monteago#project eden's garden#damon maitsu#manifesting Kai Support but its just my kaimon rotted brain speaking#p:eg chapter 1#kai also has experience with people blatantly lying about him and or making things up about him#so I think that makes him inherently distrusting of others right out the gate#but also a secretive person by nature like he obviously hides things about himself bc of his experience as an influencer#and not because he has some dark shadowy past lol#p:eg spoilers#wolfgang akire
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OKAY OKAY WAIT OUTSIDERS (seperate 😭) X DAUGHTER OF A COP 🙏
The Outsiders x Daughter of a Cop! Reader
a/n- i'm going to make reader's father the police officer b/c officers were predominantly men in the 60s. if anyone wants a version with the mother as an officer, lemme know!
Darry Curtis
Darry never gets arrested so he and your dad have no problem whatsoever with each other
He's very respectful to him
Sometimes your dad gives Darry "the company you keep" speeches
Darry just shrugs it off with a grin and promises to try and keep the gang in check
Darry's really anxious for your dad to have a good opinion of him
"You think he likes me, darlin'?"
Sodapop Curtis
Soda mostly keeps himself in check so that he's not separated from Darry
So it's not a big deal that your dad's an officer, although he does make Soda pretty nervous
There was the one time Soda and Two-Bit were hauled in for doing flips and walking on their hands down the sidewalk (yes this did happen canonically), so Soda always worries that your dad has a bad opinion of him because of that incident (your dad doesn't even remember)
Soda really wants to try on your dad's uniform (at least his badge)
He says something about it to you every time he sees your dad but despite your nettling will not ask him
Soda's eyes crinkle in a smile as he watches your dad walk away. "Glory- I really do wanna try on his badge. Or wear his belt." But when you mischievously suggest he ask your dad, Soda pales and whacks your arm playfully. "No- and don't you tell him I said that, you imp!"
Ponyboy Curtis
Pony definitely stays out of trouble
He's usually pretty nervous around authority figures, but your dad reminds him of his so they get along well and Pony's at ease around him
Although Pony was super nervous the first time he met your dad
He was asking a million questions but trying to hide his nerves
"Wait, tell me again- what's he like? Is he judgy? Is he gonna have his heater on him? He ever arrest Dally?" Yes. Yes he has.
Dallas Winston
Dally's pretty much on a first name basis with your dad
He thinks your dad's pretty chill for an officer and even has a bit of respect for him
Sometimes your dad comes home talking about what Dally, "that hood kid," did today and you have to keep yourself from laughing since of course you already know what happened
But you and Dally are still keeping your relationship hidden from your dad for obvious reasons
When you first told Dally who your dad was, he was shocked. Then he laughed so hard he cried and he almost fell out of his chair
Dallas drops his cigarette, tilting his head back as he howls with laughter. "Ol' Pig Eyes?! That's your old man? No kiddin'?" When you shoot him a look for the nickname he's given your father, he just laughs even harder. "No, doll- he ain't look nothin' like ya. You don't got his eyes, no sweat."
Steve Randle
Steve's been hauled in his fair share of times, but he isn't a huge troublemaker and is good at evading the cops, so he doesn't have much experience with them
He's not afraid of your dad but he's wary of him
He's willing to meet him but avoids him when he can
However Steve is willing to get to know your dad better if you've been together a while
The first time Steve met your dad he was pretty intimidated after but thought he was respectable
"Damn- that guy gives me the creeps."
Johnny Cade
Johnny's never been arrested before but he's deathly afraid of cops
His hands start shaking when he sees a police car and he'll grab your hand for support
He isn't willing to meet your dad until you've been together a long time, and even then you need to reassure him a lot
Every time Johnny sees your dad he's a bit more at ease with him
"Huh, he's pretty normal when he's not in that uniform. I kinda like 'im."
Two-Bit Mathews
Two-Bit hasn't been arrested for anything really serious- it's mostly just been for shoplifting and goofing around in public
Like the time he had a sword fight at the supermarket with Steve using cucumbers
"Hey, Stevie- look at this! It's perfect for fightin'! Hell, why do these things break so easily? Lemme get a new one-"
They broke almost all the cucumbers in half before the police were called
Anyway, Two-Bit is really unfazed by your dad's being an officer
He cracks jokes with him and they get along surprisingly well
Two-Bit doesn't really take much seriously so even when he is in trouble, the cops will probably end up smiling at one of his jokes eventually (your dad's been in this position a couple times)
#the outsiders x reader#outsiders x you#outsiders x reader#outsiders preferences#the outsiders preferences#outsiders headcanons#outsiders#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#se hinton#ponyboy curtis x reader#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis x reader#soda curtis x reader#sodapop curtis#the outsiders sodapop#soda curtis#darry curtis#the outsiders darry#darrel curtis#darrel curtis x reader#darry curtis x reader#darry curtis x you#steve randle x reader#steve randle#dallas winston x reader#johnny cade#johnny cade x reader#outsiders musical#outsiders broadway
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2024/12/31 Blog post by Wakana 2024年もありがとうございました!!〜みんなのうっかりにほっこり🍵〜
❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ ❗Do NOT SHARE on other sites❗ ❗Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗
Thank you 2024!! 〜Everyone's Mistakes Make Me Feel Warm and Fuzzy〜
I have read all of your questionnaires which you filled out for "Wakana Classics 2024"😊 Thank you so much! I didn't wanna mention that I was going through them because I didn't want you to feel self-conscious about what you wrote. Also, I wanted you to feel like you didn't have to hold back on anything. Your words were so kind, I was moved to tears many teams and felt really encouraged✨ Of course, there were some strong opinions too, and some harsh words but even so, that just makes me feel like I have someone watching me closely. Everything I have been thinking, feeling, and doing this year, I've had someone watching over me. You all always seem to understand me so well. How come you know me so well? It's like you are parents☺️✨ It means so much to be and brings me so much happiness to know that you are watching over me and supporting me. It's because you were there by my side that I was able to sing so energetically again this year. Of course this also applies to all the staff members at my agency, everyone who I've worked with, my family and friends, I couldn't have made it without them supporting me. I will welcome the next year by looking forward to meeting you all again! \\\\٩( 'ω' )و ////
I would like to share an interesting tidbit from this time's questionnaire. Most of you wrote my name "Wakana" in the Latin alphabet but for some reason, sometimes you misspelled my name and wrote things like "Wakame-san" or "Wabana-san". That really made me laugh😂😂 I am casually reading your answers with a feeling of excitement and then out of nowhere, a "Wakame-san" pops up😂 I wonder if some of you were writing it like that on purpose😂If you, you have a great sense of humour😂 Actually, the script for today's NHK-FM "Anisong Premium RADIO" also had "Wakan-san" written on it which made me giggle😂Sounds like some weird herbal extract🌿 Sounds very healthy😆
Well! Everyone! Thank you so much for 2024! (((o(*゚▽゚*)o))) Let's spend lots of fun and happy moments of music together next year as well 🌟\(^o^)/
(Here's a photo of me during the recording of "Anisong Premium RADIO" 😃)
Oh! ! ! Speaking of which! Please don't forget about the today's submission deadline for the next podcast episode!! 😂 The next episode is scheduled for January 10th and the talk theme is [This is the kind of year I want 2025 to be!]‼︎\\\\٩( 'ω' )و //// Please tell me what thoughts you have in your heart as you welcome the new year. What do you want to achieve, anything you left undone this year so you wanna give it a try again? Please send in whatever you like and tell me your thoughts about 2025��♪ Click here to send us your letters!! I'll be waiting for your messages・:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+ ↓↓↓↓ https://wakana-fc.jp/answers/botanical_oshaberi_17/new
By the way, I've prepared the cards for everyone whose message I read during the last episode. I'll send them in the new year so please wait a little while longer! (It's already a little late for it but the cards have a Christmas theme 😂) (It's hard to make out in the photo, but Same-chan is sparkling with glitter! 🦈✨)
Well then, everyone, let's meet again next year! Happy New Year〜☆( *'▽'*)/
***Wakana***
#kalafina#wakana#wakana blog#botanical land#fan club exclusive content#I often see Wakanda on Twitter XD#Always makes me giggle
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Okay. I'll try to explain it as best as I can without spoiling it and while covering everything you might need to now. (If you want me to explain everything else in detail just ask, I'll be more then happy to do so, but I certainly recomend for you to watch or play the game because it's great and has amazing retro graphics and soundtrack)
Since it's a bit longer post I'll just title the segment so that you can skip if you're not interested in something
Intro
It's a psychological horror with darker themes. Rape, murder, suicide and even canibalism. It's a game you can purchise on steam for like 12 bucks or watch a playthrough on youtube (most of them are about 2 hours).
It's about a crew in space. That's all I can say without spoiling it too much. It has a pot of metaphoric meanings and delves into a lot of different deeper topics (which is great if you're into more phylosophic type things and it can cause you to think about it a lot, from their catchy lines to just it over all) and they have a few characters that are very well written and really human.
Daisuke
For characters, Daisuke is the fan favorite, he's the youngest (18-20 years old) and he's the intern. People gravitate to him because of 2 things, 1) they see him as a silly guy (which compared to other characters he is because he jokes the most and is practically a lighthearted character) and 2) they find him relatable because he doesn't know what he wants from his life or his strengths.
Anya
Then Anya is also the fan favorite, she's a polite nurse that in the game doesn't actually have a lot of personality. Which in a nerative way makes a lot of sense. People gravitate to her because some of them have been in similiar situations and she makes them feel seen, while others feel bad for her and from a lot of different ao3 tags say that they think she deserves a hug
Sweansea
Sweansea is that typical old grumpy character you have in a lot of media and he's the engineer of the crew. He's Daisuke's mentor and a lot of people like to think of him as Daisuke's father figure. He's gruff, a bit blunt and in the end has one of the better monologs and opinions of the whole game.
Jimmy and Curly
Jimmy (co-pilot) and Curly (captain) are my favorites and the plot focuses a lot on them because we play as them, switching between their neratives. They're surtainly complex characters and most of the plot is built around them. Jimmy is that assholish character, mean, rude, greedy and selfish, while Curly is that guy people rely on and concider a nice guy. Polar oposites, but they are close friends.
Polle
And then Polle, the lovable mascot of Pony Express (aka the company they work for). She's also used as a metaphore and an amazing one at that. (Can't say anything else so I don't spoil anything and because I fucking hate that pony. Scared me shitless the first game thtough, literally friend had to be on call with me for the last 20 minutes of the game because that stupid Pony was practically haunting my ass).
For the plot, it's not too complex, but I personally find it impactful and as disturbing it is, I hold it close to my heart. It's dark and heavy and simple and complex at the same time. Though, the way the plot is handled through narative gives it that specific charm.
Fandom
For the fandom I'll just say this. Enjoy at your own risk and always check trigger warnings if you're sensitive to something. If you don't like something, just ignore it or go talk with your friend about it. Mouthwashing fandom has a lot of amazing stuff, like from psycho analysis, fanart and certain fanfics, while some miss the point intierly (which is fine, it's not, but if it makes a person happy who cares, I'm not gonna ruin it for them) and some which I personally consider that they go too far. Also, the fandom is perfectly split between people who want to enjoy the dark parts of the game and those who like the silly stuff (memes, jokes, fluff, and they probably do it to 'cope' with the game).
I'm not gonna go too deep into the shipping because everyone has their personal opinions on it, but it's a bit contreversial. At times diving into the proship vs the other side debate.
Music
Last thing, 'Headlock' by Imogen Heap is convidered the mouthwashing song. It's like about how you wanna persue your hobbies and interests, but you're stuck in place unable to actually do it. Which I personally think perfectly fits the game, atleast a very specific scene in the game that actually is one of my favorites and a bit not comforting, but it makes me feel a bit seen. But I think a lot of people actually just like it cuz it's a catchy song with a very nice and specific beat. Also, receantly JT music released the mouthwashing rap which actually covers a lot of the plot, meaning and other parts of mouthwashing. It's also a bop and in the intro they sampled actual sounds from the game which is very cool if you ask me
..
So yea. Sorry for rambling, I covered a few things, I thought would be important without revealing too much if you actually decide to play/watch the game.
WHAT THE FUCK IS "MOUTHWASHING"????
can someone tell me about what Mouthwashing is
my friend is obsessed with it and i wanna learn more about it for her, and i also saw it was a psych thriller and i love those.
lowkey i thought it was the sally face sequel so if anyone could rb and help me out itd be much appreciated
also whos that gay fuck daisueke or whatev
#mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#fandom#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#enby ramble
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in lieu of having posted any writing/headcanons/asks in the past few days because i have been *so* busy and unable to do anything fandom-related which is terrible and evil, i have a poll out of morbid curiosity and self-indulgence. i've been meaning to ramble here about how i feel about DC's lack fo Deaf representation and which Batfam members i would personally make Deaf, but i am mildly curious about the larger opinion and now i will subject you all to the question, i would love to hear thoughts/opinions/headcanons on any specific choices. (would love d/Deaf/HoH opinions esp but i'm mostly expecting this to reach the hearing crowd, so opinions from hearing ppl are ones i'm very curious about. if you've never given it thought before you are going to now or else /lh)
#necrotic nuisance#<- new tag for nonserious shit like this#batfamily#batclan#deafculture#i think not including bruce in this poll bc i ran out of options is *so* fucking funny so i'm keeping it#bc realistically i could bump off more tertiary characters like harper or jpv to include him#but i won't.#hearing people are seriously invited to reblog and share opinions or headcanons i'm so genuine#just like. behave about it.#i have personal headcanons but i will save sharing them until the poll is finished#as not to skew results#i also have a hunch on who will lead. based on popular headcanons i see#but i will also not share that as to not skew it#i'm using the Deaf identity as an umbrella term that can include Hard of Hearing as well btw#so if your headcanon is more HoH leaning it is counted#i do believe this is something most fans haven't rlly thought about#but i *really* want to write fics with Deaf rep and i have been waffling on who to make Deaf#so. this poll is also a field test of who you would like to see me (a Deaf bitch) write as Deaf.#and i totally pinky promise not to project super duper hard on them. (i'm so lying)#i will get back to writing and the ask games i promse!#tomorrow i have the day off after 4 bc someone else is watching the baby so ic can just chill#also *please please* if you have disabled headcanons for any batfam (or DC in general) character#send them to me. i want to see them. i would love to talk about them with you.#as an anon ask as a message as a reblog idc#gimme.#this isn't my usual content but shhh lemme be self indulgent.#both bc i'm curious and bc i wanna write Deaf shit so. we take a break from my usual nonsense for this.#i'll post writing tomorrow to make up for it#also i have to remind myself this is my blog i can do what i want with and not just be a content machine. yk
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#some thoughts incoming idk if i should share but i need to put them somewhere#it's hard being in the yr fandom since the finale when you don't share the same vision and opinion as the rest#and people make future wilmon posts or write post s3 fics (which many exist now) they just don't align with your idea at all#and they're not exciting to me at all and the whole concept just makes me upset#i don't wanna imagine Wille as a 'normal' person (not that that's ever possible anyway which the show loves to ignore)#like I'm sorry but i didn't come to the show to watch an ordinary love story and have them lead an ordinary life#the idea of Wille being a future king and them navigating that royal life together is so much more interesting#i hate that that isn't canon anymore and when ppl make posts about them it's not about that or that would only be seen as a negative thing#i don't wanna imagine a life where they are 'normal' that isn't appealing to me at all and it sucks seeing everyone embrace it#and it's like you're not allowed to want something else or think differently bc that makes you the bad person and you're just wrong#i can't be excited about their future (also bc i don't really see them going strong in the future with how they messed them up in s3)#(i also didn't want to know what could possibly happen in the future i wanted that to stay open and just be in the present)#and seeing everyone else excited and happy about it makes you feel horrible and very alone and disconnected in the fandom#i don't wanna take it away from them but i also would love to see other takes but that's basically impossible now#am i the only person who feels this way or are there any other who can relate? pls let me know#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation#navigating ao3 has also become difficult now#it's hard finding fics to read where wille stays crown prince and you don't have to be scared for that to change#i just can't read any canon compliant fics anymore and i hate it bc i hate to disagree with canon#i normally don't do that bc canon is important to me and i don't want to reject it and create my own fantasy#and that's what's upsetting#anyway sorry i had to write this#personal
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the problem is I’m such a staunch believer in the slow buildup, the earnest enjoyment of meandering through terrible story decisions and weird nothing subplots to build up into a conclusion that explodes out from all that as fantastic storytelling and intrigue based on all that buildup, such that it makes it necessary to get through all that or you’re missing something essential, that I’m also a terrible person to talk to about what makes a story good. I can tell you plenty of what actually makes something tight and well-written and all that technical speak but how could anyone take my advice when I so so so love excruciatingly long unnecessarily complex fumbling and weird nonsense that spirals into, inexplicably, weird nonsense that makes you cry your lungs sore
#kipspeak#my point being everyone is too mean about post arr. sure f’lhammin did not have to be our problem but everything after that was like#meandering. Thinking. building. unnerving. they were cooking and i RESPECT their dubious food#i love homestuck and long audio dramas and dnd podcasts and indecipherable fancomics and lego ninjas and khux and im starting to love ffxiv#all incredibly long and made with passion and kinda weird and hard to get into#said with THE MOST affection in my heart#I could structure a kids show and I know how to write for tv but in my heart of hearts#I just want to write an impossibly long absurdity epic that is weird and a little bad and also makes you feel shrimp emotions#ALSO I feel 0% bad for not respecting ur theory or opinion if you haven’t played khux/dr/recoded I don’t feel bad about it at all I’m right#understand what’s going on in them and I’ll respect your theories. it’s like comics enjoyers but less chaotic#don’t let me get into comics. superheroes never really catch my interest but if you let me get into comics I’d explode#‘it gets really good’ is a genuine way to interest me#also don’t let me get into anime that do this. I already watched a thousand episodes of detective Conan—#maybe it’s a careful balance of weird and Good Storytelling Seeds. it has to have internal logic for one; and it has to have a structure#It has to be leading somewhere. and I want to see where it leads#we are GOING through the disney worlds. all of them. they are COOKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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Singlets stop talking about systems as if you’re an expert because you follow some on tumblr challenge (also warning the tags here are a huge rant so feel free to ignore that)
#first off I think most syscourse is stupid#at the end of the day you’re just arguing with strangers on the internet who probably aren’t going to change their opinion on anything#you’re not going to do anything but make yourself upset and waste you’re time#if someone’s spreading misinfo and they refuse to listen when corrected (assuming you’re actually trying to be helpful instead of just#yelling at them for being wrong because if someone did that to me I wouldn’t listen either) just block and move on#anyway to get the point of this post#I’m in a discord server with this one person and I can’t even remember why or how the topic of syscourse came up (it’s a fandom server)#and this person (a singlet) starts going on a rant about how having x belief about systems is inherently ableist and you shouldn’t trust#anyone who believes that#and it’s like you don’t even have the disorder you don’t have the lives experience to be able to talk on these things#like I guess have an opinion sure but don’t go around telling people (mostly other singlets) what is and isn’t right about a disorder that#your only info on is from people on tumblr#and I didn’t say anything about it because this server is really good for finding places to watch/listen to hard to find or expensive media#and I just didn’t want to fucking deal with it but like if you’re a singlet don’t go around telling people what they should believe about#systems or how cdds work especially when you’re not an expert and you haven’t done actual research into the subject#(also I’m purposely not saying the specifics of what was being said because I don’t want to deal with anyone seeing this and wanting to#argue about those specifics because as I’ve said before arguing about system stuff on the internet is largely pointless)#system#syscourse
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do you even know we’ve got a new cassie book this month. next week even. do you even care.
#the thing is i have a very busy reading schedule this month so. idk when i’ll actually get to it#i need to finish alex and i need to read bunny and i NEED this to be the year i finally fucking make some progress in the goldfinch#i have been reading the goldfinch for four years. i never even saw the movie because i wanted to read the book first#don’t tell me not to bother i didn’t commit to this just to be told to give up by someone who doesn’t understand the value of bad media….#literally don’t you dare try to tell me oh the movie is bad don’t even watch it!! i don’t care. do you really think a movie being bad could#make me want to not watch it. do you really think your opinion on what’s bad and what’s good means anything to me.#anyway. yeah i’ve been reading it for 4 years because my brain can only comprehend reading it in the fall/winter. i can only read it between#like. october and february. any other time i have to put it away until the next fall#this could be the year though. i could read it this year#i read the golden tower (took 5 years) i can do anything i’m unstoppable…….#beth.txt
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idc if ppl think im problematic i just want it to be for the actual real reasons i am
#like... im kinda aggressive and might attack if provoked... i intentionally exude a threatening presence and personality to#scare ppl away but also bc i will actually try to fuck you up if you fuck with me too much. i also struggle with not knowing#how to handle my cat yelling besides yelling at him which reinforces him but it doesnt matter bc he does it anyways even#if i stubbornly ignore him so idfk what to do i think he just think thats the normal way to talk atp and it driveS ME INSANE BECAUSE#HE IS MOEWS ARE SO LOUD AND SOUND LIKE A FUCKING BABY CRYING WHICH TRIGGERS A PRIMAL PARENTAL THING IN#ME AND HES MANIPULATING THAT TO GET MY ATTENTION FOR SHIT HE DOESNT NEED HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#LIke. im problematic in some ways. no im not as problematic as you might think but like. i still recognize i got a lot of shit to work on#over here yaknow. its shit i think about all the time and keep trying to figure out what i can do about.#which is also why i dont need ppl riding on my ass about shit that i already know better about#i honestly think yall think me being inflammatory online makes me a bad person... idk. and i dont really think im all that controversial#or inflammatory in what i say but anyone being that in any capacity in your opinion makes them Bad for some reason?? idrk.#im trying to figure it out. like you either just have to believe any lie someone tells about me or you just hate how annoying i am to you#on the internet. something you can easily avoid by blocking me.#also the things i say online... dont necessarily directly translate to offline? im not really like this irl... im definitely a lot more#aggressive online than i am off...#offline i try to keep things calm and gentle and i try to be considerate and nice to those around me. ig i dont feel like tumblr#has earned that side of me yet 🤷#i literally have an idyllic ass garden and essentially green house ok. i dont talk about the happenings of my daily life on here#much bc i worry talking about it on here will taint it somehow.#maybe im too superstitious. maybe im worried about being stalked. maybe its a combo of many things but theres certain info#i dont trust with certain types of people and if tumblr was a person i would not trust that person with that info.#the friend to get drunk with not to watch your cats and house while you're out of town. etc.#ill vent about my trauma but i dont want you... in my life... Like That lmao. we just go to the same bar...
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there are some things that I like that I love to criticize! I love to pick it apart and see how it works and the implications and the real world parallels!! and there are things that I like that I want to hear nothing about. leave me alone and let me indulge.
#‘the babygirlification of the modern vampire’ OKAY?!?! AND??????#so what if I want to babygirlify the elf vampire man????#anyway#that was a video YouTube recommended#no thanks#idk who you are so I can’t guess your thoughts and feelings on this#if it’s going to be more educational or if it’s gonna be an opinion piece#bc if it’s educational?? sure!!#id love to hear about how we got to this point#but I’m not going to risk it being an opinion thing just to learn that#anyway.#no I don’t care what people think about me!! I’m very self assured!!#also doesn’t really participate in fandom#or express which medias/arts I like#and doesn’t watch videos about topics I’m interested in bc I’m scared they’re gonna be mean and judgemental about it#perfectly normal things to do for someone who is confident and self assured#sometimes it’s 1am and you realize you haven’t come as far as you think you have#like you’ve definitely made progress like no doubt#but there’s still quite a trek#(which also makes sense bc I once walked 3 miles to my aunts house)#(when I meant to walk home but in my head it was a shorter distance)#(and I had to stop bc I was dead tired and I had blisters on my feet and yeah)#(anything to not go back into school and ask an adult to use a phone)
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all i want for christmas is you! a gojo satoru fic
pairing ⸺ bf!gojo x reader
summary ⸺ after a well needed rest from the kids, you and your boyfriend focus on baking christmas cookies for your pta responsibilities. however, it ends up taking a naughty twist when satoru finds out the surprise you've planned out for him.
warnings ⸺ FLUFF, smut in the form of fingering and p i v sex, reader has a vagina, fem reader implied, some jealousy, but mostly crack, pta cookie baking for megumi, very domestic, not edited, “good girl,” teasing, use of pet names like “baby,” gojo is a warning in himself
a/n hbd to my husband and loml 😚😚 i hope you guys enjoy this it kind of made me realize only long fics heal my soul but this is anticipation of holidays :33
general masterlist
You sometimes did not know what to do with Satoru.
When he told you to come over to make Christmas cookies that are part of his PTA commitments for Megumi, you really didn’t expect him to come out of his room with that sweater on. It’s an ugly sweater—so he’s got the holiday spirit nailed down—that has printed “BIG PACKAGE JUST FOR YOU.” Below it, a cartoon Santa stood pantsless, strategically holding a neatly wrapped gift box over his crotch.
You give him a look as he comes out to join you in the kitchen. “Please don’t tell me you wore that in front of Tsumiki and Megumi.”
He has the gall to look offended as he puts on his even stupider “Your opinion wasn’t on the recipe” apron. “Of course, what kind of father do you think I am?”
You sigh, moving to put in the last of the dry ingredients. “I saw Megumi watching Breaking Bad on his iPad last week.”
“What?” he gasps dramatically as he pauses while moving for the fridge. “I swear I downloaded Youtube Kids!”
Look, Satoru is a good dad. Foster-dad. Whatever. He’s been taking care of Megumi and Tsumiki for ages now, ever since that incident happened, and he’s been doing his best. But, unfortunately, his adult life and burdens and responsibilities cause him sometimes to be a absent father. He makes up for it—goes shopping with Tsumiki for her clothes, spends quality time with Megumi.
One thing he’d never miss, however, are those PTA meetings.
He is the PTA mom final boss. No matter what event is being held, he’s going to go all out. You don’t miss the smirk he gives to Karen everytime he brings an even bigger cookie platter for Megumi’s homeroom than she did for her son Sam’s, nor the sassy pursed lips as he donates artist-grade markers from Michael’s instead of Mia’s cheap ones from Walmart.
Yea, he is just petty like that, but it’s always the moms whose sons have gotten into fights with Megumi that he outdoes everytime. You know better than to question his peculiar form of revenge.
“I think that means he found a way to break through the parental controls. He’s definitely your kid,” you reply with a bit of mirth in your voice. Then, you quickly move to intercept Satoru’s journey to get the eggs as soon as you notice a miniscule movement of his. You were not about to let Satoru force another trip to Whole Foods with the clumsiness you’re all too familiar with in your five years of dating.
Grabbing the eggs before he can, you turn around to find him staring at you, a dazzled look on his face.
“What?” you ask, already smirking. The view of the outfit you’d worn today had been obscured by the apron when he first came in, but when you moved to get the eggs in front of him, he definitely got a view of your ass in your tiny red skirt and fuzzy, festive top.
“Why the hell are you wearing a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit?”
“I was thinking we’d watch Christmas movies and chill today after the cookies!” you exclaim, just as Satoru interrupts with, “We’re baking cookies for children, you freak.”
The room went dead silent.
Your cheerful smile dropped instantly. Meanwhile, Satoru’s face lit up like he’s just won the lottery, full of pure glee.
Both of you shout at the same time, “What?”
You slam the eggs down onto the counter with just enough force to make him flinch, narrowing your eyes at him. “Excuse me? Did you just call me a freak?”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” he yelped, backpedaling so fast you were surprised he didn’t trip over his own feet. “It’s just—” He gestured wildly at you. “—that outfit is… is…”
“Is what?” you demand, crossing your arms and daring him to dig himself deeper.
“Babe,” he starts to whine, apologetic like a wet dog and padding his way back over to you while pulling you in for a back hug. “It’s hot, okay? Don’t get me wrong, it’s driving me crazy. I’m trying to focus on cookies, and you’re over here looking like every Christmas fantasy I didn’t know I had.”
“Get off me,” you grumble, shooting him a glare as you try to shake him off. “You are not touching these cookies. Sit on the couch.”
He yelps as you slap his hand. “Babe, but I’ll just be reinforcing the patriarchy if I let you stay and do all the work in the kitchen.” Then, he moves closer to your ear like the chronically online loser he is and whispers, “6’ 3’’ btw.”
“Go away!” you shriek, waving him off. This process would indeed be two times faster if Satoru was on his couch. There wasn’t any rush, but you’d really appreciate getting to the dicking-down part of tonight after much appreciated privacy from the kids for the first time in forever. You take a mental note to thank Yuji’s grandpa and Nobara’s grandmother with extra cookies for the sleepover as you shoo your boyfriend to the couch.
You get back to work on the wet ingredients by cracking the eggs, but not before you hear a “I’ll be reflecting on the systematic oppression women face in the workforce.”
Pulling off the oven mitts on your hands, you wash your hand but not without sneaking a peek over the kitchen counter. You were locked in on the cookies, paying no mind to Satoru’s existential bemoaning, and now that you’re done, you can’t wait for the fun part of tonight.
After waiting a few minutes and checking and rechecking the cookies to make sure they’re done, you set them aside to cool and make sure to turn off the oven. Tonight, you were determined to get that big fucking package Santa owed you, and your boyfriend was going to be the one to deliver it.
As you walk out, you know the strat you’re going to use: innocently suggest a Christmas movie to watch, snuggle close to him, and he’ll fall into the trap you set for him like a bear towards honey. You know your boyfriend all too well, and today, you were feeling coy.
He’s stretched out on the couch, scrolling on his phone, his posture as awful as ever. But the second he hears your footsteps, his head snaps up. His eyes immediately dart to the movement of your bare legs, lingering on the tiny red skirt you’re still wearing, before slowly traveling back up to your chest. Wow. He really wasn’t making this difficult.
You plop down next to him while grabbing the remote, pulling up Netflix. “What movie should we watch today?”
He blinks, clearly distracted. “We’re watching a movie?”
The Princess Switch catches in the side of your eye as you scroll through the options. Without looking at him, you answer, “Yes? What else were we going to do?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawls, his voice already dipping into that teasing tone you know so well. “Maybe something that doesn’t involve Vanessa Hudgens playing herself two times.”
You roll your eyes, nudging his shoulder with your own. “Don’t knock it till you try it, Mr. Holiday Spirit.”
His gaze doesn’t leave you, though, and when you finally glance at him, his expression has shifted. He’s not teasing anymore. His eyes are a little darker, his lips twitching like he’s holding back a grin. “What?” you ask, already smirking.
“Nothing,” he says, his voice lower now. “Just... you look really good in that outfit.”
Your cheeks heat, but you play it off with a laugh. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Satoru.”
“Won’t it?” he murmurs, leaning a little closer, his hand brushing against your knee. The heat of his palm lingers even after he pulls it away, and you feel your heart skip a beat.
You’re about to respond—something witty, something to keep the banter going—but then his hand moves again, this time resting firmly on your thigh. “You’re really going to make me sit through a Christmas movie when you look like that?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.
Your breath hitches, and you can’t help the way your body reacts, leaning just a fraction closer to him. “What would you rather do?” you challenge, your voice softer now.
His gaze dips to your lips, and that’s all the invitation he needs. In a second, he’s closing the distance, his mouth pressing against yours in a kiss that’s anything but sweet. It’s hungry and demanding, like he’s been waiting for this all day, and when his hand slides higher up your thigh, you realize you’ve completely forgotten about the movie and the preview playing. Satoru, clearly a little annoyed judging by the pout on his face, moves to close the preview featuring Vanessa Hudgens’ obnoxious British accent and then the room is silent except for the wet sounds of your sloppy kissing.
When you’ve both made out for a while—now with you on his lap—you both pull back with fastened breaths, looking at each other’s glistening lips. Finally, from Satoru comes out a, “That. I wanted to do that.”
Maybe it’s the attention whore in you always looking to rile up Satoru and get his affection, but you couldn’t refrain from blurting out a “Are you sure you wanted to do this with me, or would Linda have sufficed?”
At the scrunch of Satoru’s nose, his face practically spells out a Who the fuck is Linda? “You know, the one that gets really friendly with you when I’m going to the bathroom at those PTA meetings.”
Satoru sometimes did not know what to do with you.
Here he is, trying to make out with you when you’re looking like that, makeup done perfectly and looking beautiful as always. He hasn’t gotten laid with you in a hot minute, and here you are, picking at him. He has no fucking clue who Linda is, but what he does know is that you’re really cute when you get jealous. “Yeah?” he teases, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his fingers lingering against your cheek. His grin is maddeningly smug, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement. “Linda sounds nice. Should I call her up?”
Your jaw drops, but the sharp retort forming in your head is lost when his hand slides from your cheek to your neck, his thumb brushing lightly along your jawline. He leans closer, his breath warm against your skin. “You know,” he continues, his voice a low murmur, “if you’re jealous, you could just say so.”
“I’m not jealous,” you shoot back, your voice unconvincing even to yourself. You shift under his gaze, trying to keep up the façade, but it’s hard when his lips hover so close to yours.
Satoru’s grin widens. “No? Then why are you bringing up some imaginary PTA Linda when I’m clearly only interested in you?” His lips press against the corner of your mouth, a slow, deliberate kiss that makes your breath catch.
“You’re clearly only interested in being annoying,” you quip, but the words lack their usual bite as his hand slips lower, trailing down your side until it rests on your bare thigh. His touch is firm, possessive, and it sends a shiver through you.
“Annoying?” he echoes, his tone mock-offended. “That’s a big word for someone who just ruined a perfectly good makeout session to talk about Linda.”
You glare at him, but the effect is ruined when his thumb begins tracing lazy circles on your thigh. “I didn’t ruin anything,” you argue weakly.
“Didn’t you?” He dips his head, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot just below your ear. “Because now, instead of kissing you like I want to, I’m stuck reassuring you that Linda doesn’t stand a chance against my very sexy, very jealous girlfriend.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you, but it turns into a soft gasp as his teeth graze your skin, his tongue soothing the faint sting. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, but your hands betray you, tangling in his hair and tugging him closer.
“Mm, but you like it,” he murmurs, his lips trailing down your neck. His free hand slides higher, skimming under the hem of your skirt, his fingers teasing against the soft skin of your hip. “Admit it.”
“Shut up,” you manage, though your voice is breathless now. He’s too close, his scent overwhelming, his touch setting your nerves on fire. When his hand tightens on your thigh and he pulls you closer, you give in, letting him capture your lips in a kiss that’s all desperation.
Linda, whoever she may be, is long forgotten as Satoru kisses you like he’s trying to make up for every second you’ve spent apart. His hands roam, his touch firm and confident, and when he pulls back just enough to murmur against your lips, “You’re all I want,” you believe him completely.
A breathless “Satoru” leaves your lips as he gently–but hurriedly–lowers you down to lay on the couch while he bends over you, inching down the hem of your top to bury his head in your tits. “Oh my god,” he groaned. “I missed my girls.” He starts to leaves rough kisses, an occasional bite and suck, and then stops. Takes in a deep breath. “Wow, you smell good babe.”
You look at him, flustered. “Stop smelling my tits, oh my god.” For good measure, you grab his hair to bury his face against your breasts once more.
“No,” smooch, “it’s,” smooch, “smelling good. Like the new holiday scents from Bath and Body Works.” He then abandons your chest to kiss his way down your body, sliding your skirt down as he kisses around the edge of your panties. “I’ve missed her, too.”
Despite yourself, you moan, spreading your legs to give him full access. He takes it enthusiastically, giving you a little kiss in your middle. Then, his eyes don’t leave yours as he uses his teeth to pull your panties down, slowly and sultry. Your pussy leaks even more, and the motherfucker notices, because there’s a faint smirk on his face as he hones back in your wetness, running his fingers to spread your slick. “Wow, my girl must have been sooo pent up,” he croons, eyes not leaving your hole and the way it clenched every time he spoke. “My good girl is soo desperate.”
Without missing a beat, you sneakily reply, “Don’t call me that, that’s so corny oh my god—-“ You’re interrupted with your own gasp as he enters a finger in. When he finally curls it, hitting your g-spot dead on, you suck in your breath. You really missed this.
“Oh, really?” He giggles, clearly amused by you trying to rile him up. “If my baby doesn’t like being called a good girl then why is she clenching so hard on my—“ thrust— “fingers?”
And suddenly the feminist in you leaves as his big, thick fingers ram into you faster than ever, and you start squealing like the slut you are for your incredibly hot boyfriend who’s equally as much of a slut for you, judging based on the rock hard erection against your thigh. Take that, Linda.
You’re in a daze of pleasure, too fucked out to notice Gojo wrenching down his sweats to pull out his throbbing cock, to pump it to full mast. It’s only when he rips his finger away from your cavern that you start to whimper, clawing at his arms to continue fingering you.
And he starts cooing, giving you a small kiss on your cheek as he aligns his dick with your pussy. “I know baby, I know,” and he groans as the soft, wet heat of your pussy grips on him hard as he pushes in. It’s not long before he starts thrusting, wiping your tears while driving in even faster. “Wow, good fucking pussy.”
“Satoru,” you whine, but you don’t even know for what. You were close enough when he was fingering you, but now you’re steadily approaching your climax. But Satoru, who’s attuned to what your body needs, readjusts himself to go even deeper.
It’s when you gasp loudly that a glint lights up in his eyes. “That’s the spot, isn’t it?” He drives into that spot like a jackhammer, savoring in your little squeals and moans of his name, until finally, he feels you climax.
“Oh my god,” you says breathlessly as your orgasm takes over you, convulsing while Satoru doesn’t let up, continuing his pace until his hips become more sloppy. After a few off rhythm thrusts, he comes in you, collapsing on top of you.
He’s breathing heavily from exertion, and you run your nails on his back and hair gently. You both bask in the glow of your orgasm. Of course, that is until Satoru perks his head up. “Do you think I can eat that kid Martin’s cookie? Megumi told me he doesn’t like him and that he’s annoying—-OWWW, what was that for?”
#aashi writes#gojo x reader#Gojo smut#gojo x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#gojo Satoru x you#gojo Satoru x reader#gojo Satoru smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk#jjk fic#jujutsu kaisen#gojo Satoru#gojo
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The frustration that Satoru feels when he completely stops seeing you as just one of his best friends.
You’re so pretty, modeling the dress you’ll be wearing on your date with some guy who probably dims in comparison to you. Suguru says you should try the outfit without the cardigan, so you take it off for a second and do a little 360 for the trio. Shoko gasps when she sees the lacy details that were hidden by the coat and Suguru claps in validation. “You’re so gonna get some.”
Satoru just watches, cheek resting in his fist as he half listens to the little debate between Shoko and Suguru. It’s all a blur as he focuses on the one glowing in front of him.
“Satoru?” You wave your hand in front of him.
“Hm?” He blinks up at you, acting like he wasn't zoned out while staring.
“Tie-breaker. Coat or no coat?”
He had heard what Suguru said when you took the cardigan off. 'You’re so gonna get some.'
He doesn’t want that.
“You should stay layered. You might get cold later.”
Suguru groans in disapproval, falling back into the couch cushion, while Shoko grins, smugly, at her small victory.
“Coat it is.” You smile, running back to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
“You like her, huh?” Suguru asks as soon as you’re out of sight, a squint of betrayal in his eyes.
“Pfft, nah. What makes you think that?” Satoru defends.
“She asked for our opinion on the dress and you went silent," Shoko says, throwing a knowing smirk at Satoru.
“You don’t want her to get laid or something? Why’d you vote for the granny cardigan?” Suguru adds, arms crossed over his chest.
“I want to see you take care of her when she’s sick. I did it last time, and she was unbearable. Also,” he turns to answer Shoko’s remark, “what can I say? I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
“A lot of her on your mind.” Suguru nods over at you.
Satoru turns, a lucent gleam in his eyes when he sees you.
“Alright, guys. I’ll be back before-“
“Don’t rush!” Shoko says, giggling at the dopey look on Satoru’s face.
There’s a smirk tugging on Suguru’s lips. “Have fun.”
“Call if you need me to pick you up," Satoru blurts, sitting up straight on the lounge chair he was seated in.
Shoko gasps and Suguru’s eyes go wide for a second.
“Uh... sure. Will do. Love you guys, bye!” You walk past your friends, opening the front door and shutting it behind you.
Your perfume had some effect on Satoru because for some reason his heart was racing and he was unable to calm it down.
“What?” Satoru asks when he notices the way his friends look at him. “I’m the only one with a car here.”
“Uh-huh, let’s put it that way," Shoko says, sharing a menacing look with Suguru.
—
You did end up having to call Satoru. Your date was the most annoying, insufferable person you had ever met and you weren't going to pretend like you were enjoying your time with him for the rest of the night. How can someone be so different the moment you’re alone together? You couldn’t stand him, so you excused yourself from the table and went to the restroom halfway through your meal.
You called Satoru, hoping he wasn't kidding about calling him if you needed a ride home.
“Hey, uh, I know this is really inconsiderate of me, but can you come pick me up from the restaurant? If you can’t it’s totally fine. I’ll stay.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I'm fine. It turns out I can’t stand this guy.” You chuckle, your hand reaching for the sensor beneath the water faucet, the cool water running through your fingers. "He's gross and just... I don't know."
“Did he do anything to you? Are you okay? ‘Cause, you know, I can kick his ass.”
“You already asked me that, 'toru. I’m okay. He’s just…” you pause, a sigh filling in the silence, “...different from what I remember. I don’t know this guy.”
Satoru is already sitting in his car. The moment you asked him to pick you up, he grabbed his keys and headed for the car.
“Give me ten minutes.”
“It takes twenty to get here.”
“Too bad. I’m running a few red lights. Sit tight.”
“Sa-”
The call ends and you’re left staring at the contact photo you have for him. You turn your screen off and stare into the mirror. You don’t know if you should stay in the bathroom until Satoru gets there or if you should go back out to the man waiting for you.
—
“So, Satoru likes her, huh?” Shoko says, leaning back in the lounge chair Satoru sat in before.
“Who would have guessed? We’ve all been friends for years and he’s never looked at her like that.”
“We should invest in some noise cancelling headphones. Who knows what could happen after tonight?”
Suguru furrows his eyebrows in confusion, so Shoko grins and demonstrates. She rocks back and forth in the old lounge chair, the chair creaking and squealing.
“Oh.” Suguru’s face further scrunches. He didn't need the image of his friends doing that together, in his mind.
—
Your phone vibrates on the sink, and Satoru’s name appears on the screen when you flip it. You quickly answer the call.
“Hey, i’m outside.”
“How do I walk out of here without seeming like a bitch? I didn’t think this through.”
“First, walk out the restaurant doors. Then, get in my car. It’s pretty simple, honestly.”
“We haven’t paid the bill.”
“Fuck it. Let him pay.”
“That’s just wrong. Alright, i’ll be out in a bit. Bye.”
“Bye.”
You sum up all the courage you have and walk out of the bathroom. Once you reach the table, you pull out some cash you have just laying around in your purse, like forty-something bucks, and set it down in the middle of the table.
“Hopefully that’s enough to cover half of it.”
“Where are you going?” Your date asks.
“To keep it polite, I have to go. Have a good rest of your night.”
You walked out of the restaurant, immediately spotting Satoru’s blue Camaro.
The second you get in, you make yourself comfortable, removing your heels and taking down your hair from its updo.
“What’s wrong?” Satoru asks, when you don’t say anything.
“It’s fine. This guy just wasn’t the one.”
Satoru’s chest feels tight now that you’re in the car. The smell of your perfume has returned and you’re glowing in the moonlight. It makes him think of the effort you put into looking the way you do, and how you ended up having to hide in the bathroom.
“Do you wanna go home?”
You’re looking in the sun visor mirror, bobby pins in your mouth as you fix your hair so that it’s not in your face once Satoru starts driving.
“Mm… whatever you want to do,” you say, muffled by the pieces of metal pressing into your lips.
It wouldn’t be whatever he wants to do, though. All he wants to do is kiss you, right now. Do something to soothe the ache you must be feeling.
“Why are you acting like this?” He asks, watching you as you place another pin in your hair.
You laugh through your nose, a bobby pin still between your lips. You put it in your hair before answering.
“Like what?” You look at him while you put your seatbelt on.
“Like this doesn't bother you. You don't have to put up a front, you know? I'm not gonna laugh at you."
The metal clicks, and you fold the sun visor back up. “Because it didn’t bother me. I’m not gonna settle for someone I hate being around."
Part of Satoru wanted this to go well for you. He wanted to see a brilliant smile on your face when you got home. So, the fact that it didn’t end up that way strangely caused some heartache for him.
“Don’t look so down.” You give him a kind smile and pinch his cheek. “I’m okay. Really.”
He tries to distract himself from the warmth that seeps into his cheeks from your quick gesture. “Well, I don’t want to go home. Is that okay, with you?”
“What’s up with you?” You ask, bringing one of your legs up and folding it comfortably on the seat.
“Nothing.”
You stare at him until he breaks out his contagious smile and laugh.
“Really, nothing. I just want to spend some time out tonight. Shoko and Suguru want to stay home and be couch potatoes."
You see your date walking out of the restaurant, phone against his ear. He doesn’t look too defeated, but you don’t want him to see you with Satoru and make any bold assumptions.
“Okay, that’s totally fine, but can we go?” Your leg goes back down, meeting the floor mat and you turn to face the window.
Satoru analyzes your behavior and your expression. Your arms are crossed, you refuse to look in his direction again. It’s weird compared to how you were acting two seconds ago.
“What?” Satoru turns to look at whatever made you shrink, and as soon as he sees him he rolls his window up. “Really?” His eyes are lidded in disappointment. It’s not in you as a person, but in your lack of respect for yourself, choosing someone so far below your league.
“He was nice when I first met him.”
Satoru puts the gear in reverse, backing out of the parking spot. “He looks stupid and on top of that he acts like it, too? God.”
“I know, I know.” You lean against the car door and stare out the window.
“What made you think you deserved him? Honestly, I can’t wrap my head around how low this is for someone like you.”
“I don’t know.”
Your responses to Satoru's interrogation kept getting shorter and shorter and he realized he was beating a horse that was already down.
“You know I care," he mumbles, breaking the heavy silence. “I don’t mean to tell you who to date and who you should be with.”
“I hate this conversation. You’re not my dad, Satoru. It’s fine.” You sit up, back against the seat and face forward. “Where are we, anyway?”
“I just followed a random road to see where it would lead. I don’t wanna go home, but I also don’t want to know where I am.”
“So, we’re lost.” You laugh.
“Hey, as long as we have phones with enough battery, we’re not really lost.”
“Right.” You grin, continuing to watch the road. You look over the steering wheel to see how much gas the car has. It’s two marks below the bold F.
“Can you tell me something?”
You turn to Satoru, giving him your full attention. He’s been more serious than you know him to be since you left the house.
“What’s up?”
“I’m not trying to rehash this father-like conversation, but as one of your best friends… what were you thinking when you accepted a date with this guy?” He glances over at you for a second. “What went through your mind when you said 'yes' to a date with him?”
“Potential love, dates, butterflies. All the stuff that goes into getting to know someone as more than an acquaintance or friend.” You fidget with the extra hair tie on your wrist.
“You want all of that?” He asks, glimpsing at you again.
You nod, silently.
“You’re pretty enough to fuck around with whoever you want, you know? I know some people who wanna do some pretty... vulgar things with you."
Your eyes go wide at how far south the conversation went. You cracked the second you looked at Satoru though. He looked somewhat proud to be friends with someone who could get some anytime.
“That’s… good to know, I guess.” Your mind stumbles over the part where he called you pretty enough.
“You’re not interested in that, though, are you?”
You wince, jokingly. “It’s just not my cup of tea. I want something more long-term.”
Satoru grins, almost like he wants to talk about himself.
“That’s not your cup of tea, is it?” You reciprocate the grin.
“No, no. Believe it or not, the last relationship I was in lasted a whole two months.”
You slapped the car door dramatically. “A whole two months?!”
“Stop it. It’s nothing, really," Satoru jokes, grinning with faux pride.
“Hey, i’m not shaming you. You’re not down with commitment and that’s fine. We're young. There's no need to rush."
“I haven’t found someone I really want to commit to. I'm not stupid enough to ignore the fact that people are really only attracted to my body. They can't stand when I open my mouth, so I figured it’s better to fuck around than to put my heart into something that won’t last without sex.”
Satoru's personality was for people with acquired taste. On the other hand, Satoru's physical appearance was for anyone and everyone. The people who could appreciate all of him would be in for the most amazing ride, because even as his friend, you could confidently say that there is no one like him anywhere in the world. You can only hum in acknowledgement of how romantically lonely he must feel.
“What?” You ask when the car stops. Satoru puts the car in park before turning it off. “We’re not out of gas, so what’s the problem?”
He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to face you, one leg bent on the seat. He’s met with a breathtaking sight. You look stunning in that navy blue dress, and that shade smeared over your lips was calling his name. He can see part of your thigh from where your dress rides up.
“Can I talk to you about something?” The tension behind the question was enough to make your ears go red.
“Of course you can. You’re scaring me, but go on.”
He smiles, trying to lighten up the mood. He knows better than to just dump information like this on you so heavily, but he can't go home tonight without telling you how he feels. He already doesn’t expect much to come of telling you this, but it's been eating him alive and he can't keep it in anymore.
“You've been on my mind a lot, lately." He sees your slightly furrowed eyebrows. They match the unintentional pout on your lips. You’re confused and for some reason you feel nervous, like your heart might escape your ribcage.
“What does that mean?” You ask, wanting a clearer understanding. He could be worried about you in a totally platonic way. He could be wondering about what you've been up to lately. You're having trouble assuming there's romantic notes to his statement after the brief discussion you just had.
“It's exactly as it sounds. I've been thinking about you." He's not smiling, he's not laughing yet this still sounds like a joke that he’s running to mess with you.
“You done with your jokes? We could both be home right about now," you say, not intending for your words to come out as sharp as they did. His hand is suddenly cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing away a speck of glitter from it.
“You say goodnight to me in the sweetest way—like you won't see me in the morning. And the soft smile you give me before you shut the door... it lingers in my mind. I dream of it from time to time."
You're trying so hard not to lean into his touch and nuzzle your cheek into his palm, but you make no effort to push his hand away. “What are you talking about, Satoru? Don't you think you're reading into it a little too much? I do that for all three of you. Ask Shoko and Suguru.”
His hand has been on your cheek for a while now, and he’s still looking at you like he has things to get off his chest. “I know you don't say it the same way to them as you do to me." He stops, a little sigh leaving him. He’s probably making you dizzy with all of this news, based on the look on your face. He retracts his hand and rests it on his thigh. You look stunned, so he cuts to the chase. “To be even more clear, I don’t see you as a friend. It doesn’t seem right to see you that way when I can picture us doing more. Being more."
“Doing more?” You repeat, cheeks growing warm.
“Holding hands, kissing, being alone together—more.”
The heavy silence returns, both of you nervously avoiding eye contact.
“I..." you huff. "I need some air.” You unbuckle yourself before exiting the car. Your scent remains in the car even after the door shuts behind you, leaving Satoru to wonder if things are screwed with you.
Your back is against the door, your hands interlocked in front of your eyes, shielding you from the gentle moonlight. You groan, irritated by the conflicted thoughts that came with Satoru's revelation.
It’s not long before Satoru comes out and joins you, leaning on the side of his car. It's cold and he doesn't want you to get sick again. His heart could barely handle your involuntarily weak display the first time.
“I didn’t stress you out, did I?” He asks, turning his head to look at you. You shake your head, your hands still covering your eyes. “There’s really no part of you that can envision an us between me and you?”
You chuckle, a sound that makes his heart pang. “It’s funny... you know, a long time ago it was all I dreamed about.”
Now this was baffling news to Satoru. How long ago was a long time ago? A couple months ago? Last year? Three years ago? And why didn’t you say anything?
“I considered you a pursuit that was out of reach. You had—have— all these girls just throwing themselves at you, and I couldn’t be one of them, so I befriended you instead.”
“How long ago was a long time ago?” He asks, nervous to hear the answer.
“Like last year in March. It was during your phase where you would never come home.”
He feels like an asshole. Especially since not too much later, he developed similar feelings for you that he endlessly denied.
“You liked the me you never got to see?”
You both chuckled at the rhyme of his words, your broken senses of humor adding some lightheartedness to the conversation.
“I guess you not coming home was more calming because I didn't have to be nervous to see you.”
You crossed your arms. The cardigan protected you, but not enough. The cold wind was starting to nip at your cheeks. Satoru notices and moves closer to you.
“Let’s go back inside, yeah?”
You didn’t want to. You were nervous being “stranded” with Satoru already, but minimizing the space between you was even more nerve-wracking. He was your greatest temptation before, and you could easily create those labyrinths that guide him into your mind again if you got close enough.
“I’ll be fine," you say, looking straight ahead at the field of weeds in front of you.
“You’re gonna catch a cold. Get in the car," Satoru prompts. He thought back to the tired look on your face as you laid in bed sick, waiting for him to bring you warm soup.
“No," you insisted, turning away from him.
He inched closer, not wanting to look at your back. “Please, get in the car." He thought of the gracious look on your sick face when he brought you another blanket to keep you warm.
“I said no, Satoru. I don't want to get in the car with you."
You were being stubborn as hell, and something about it made Satoru’s blood boil to the point where he did whatever his mind told him to do. You were suddenly pinned to the car, your hands on Satoru’s chest to keep some distance. He blocked every gust of wind that threatened to bite at your skin, and enveloped you in his warmth. You don’t know how, but in this freezing temperature, Satoru’s hands felt like sunlight on your cheeks. His face was centimeters away from yours, his bright eyes searching for a loophole in your feelings for him. Your eyes spoke with an infinite amount of possibility, and some of it didn't make sense, so he kissed you in hopes of translating what you were trying to say.
You didn’t have any fight left in you. Not when you felt so secure in this close proximity. Now, all you wanted was to be in the car with him, alone.
The kiss was released with light breaths from both of you, a look of feeling complete on Satoru’s face. “Will you get in the damn car,” he whispers, his arms caging you against the car.
“Say please," you say in the same intimate volume as him.
“Please," he complies, allowing his eyes to flit between your eyes and your lips.
“Pretty please?" you push.
“Pretty please," he says, the corners of his lips twitching.
“How about pretty please with a cherry on top?”
“Get in the car," he says through a laugh.
You chuckle, shoving him lightly before opening the door and entering the car. Satoru gets in the drivers seat and suddenly it all feels strange. Strange, but in the best way.
The tension from before returns. There's no wind blowing to fill in the silence when you both stop talking.
“Do you ever think of me when you're alone?” It was a weird question to be asked by him, especially since you had already told him that your feelings for him were left behind.
“Never," you reply, a softness in your tone that held memories of when all you thought about was Satoru.
He's somewhat disappointed, seeing as though there's a chance he might be too late.
“Do you think that will change after tonight?” He seems to be getting closer, or at least his hands are. Your skin is irresistible and he wants to feel how soft you are. He's been craving you for so long, and you're right there.
“There’s no way to tell.” You can see how slowly his hand is traveling. A minute ago it was on his lap, now it’s on the armrest between your seats. You can’t wait any longer. The suspense might make you jump out of the car again, so you grab his hand and put it on your thigh, where your dress rides up.
“I’ll throw the question back to you. Do you think of me when you're alone?” You ask him now because he won’t give you some bullshit response at a time like this, when he’s getting everything he’s wanted for who knows how long.
“All the time,” he responds so quickly. “When I wake up, before I go to sleep, in the shower, while I brush my teeth.” There’s this foolish look on his face, like he would give anything to never lose the ability to have you on his mind all the time. "You're in there, organizing the shrine I made for you," he admits, with a grin. His thumb presses into your thigh, massaging the plush skin. It makes you nervous as hell, but you like it.
“Have you told Suguru and Shoko?”
He chuckles, remembering the conversation he had with them after you left. “I’m positive they know."
Once again, you're left staring at each other in silence, drowning in the tension you’ve created within yourselves. Satoru has yet to move his hand away from your thigh, not letting up even when he feels goosebumps spread on your skin. He tests the boundaries you have set up, finding no resistance from you when his hand reaches further up your dress.
“You’re not gonna tell me to stop?” He asks as his fingers are met with lace, a texture that makes his heart thud rapidly in his chest.
You shake your head, leaning back in the seat. His fingers ghost over the front of your panties, finding a satin bow just below the elastic band.
“Were you going to let that guy touch you? Is that why you wore these?” He hasn’t even seen them, and yet he can tell they’re the cutest thing ever.
“Maybe," you mumble, looking away in slight embarrassment.
“Can I see them?” He asks.
You nod, allowing him to slowly pull up your dress. Your heart drops when you hear him gasp.
“God, no way," he says, sounding defeated. His ears slowly turn a bright shade of red as he observes the material covering your intimate area.
“Stop,” you whine, feeling flustered by his reaction and the way he stares.
His hand returns to its previous spot, continuing to play with the part of the elastic that sticks to your hip.
“You wear these types of panties on every date you go on?”
You nod, biting your lip as his fingers move just to feel the fabric. His touch is still ghost-like—light, barely there, but it’s working you up anyway. There’s barely enough friction, yet you can feel your wetness begin to ruin the garment.
He sighs. “You know, no one deserves you.” His tone is smooth and he smiles at you, an angel taking control of his features. “Not even me, but I can make up for the one who missed you tonight.”
He spares his attention to the spot in the middle of your panties, only smiling when a breathy moan involuntarily leaves you.
“God..." you groan in embarrassment, covering your face with your hands. "I can’t with myself."
His thumb rubs up and down your clothed slit, applying pressure when he reaches your clit.
“Don’t be shy. Make as much noise as you want,” he says, luring a gasp from you.
You look away again, red-faced, feeling embarrassed beyond belief.
“What?” A low chuckle follows. His hands settle on your thighs as he leans in and tries to look at your flustered face.
“This is weird.” You look out the window, too nervous to look at Satoru.
“How come?”
You giggle. “I can’t stop seeing you as one of my friends. It’s strange to experience something like this with you.”
“I would hope Suguru and Shoko aren’t touching you like this.” His hand splays on your thigh, kneading softly. “Are they?” He asks, after a pause.
“Of course not.”
He seems satisfied with that response because he’s trying to hold back a smile, but the corners of his lips are twitching. His fingers snap the elastic band of your panties against your skin a couple more times.
“Is it too weird to go on?” He asks.
You consider the facts. He already touched you, he confessed his feelings for you before he touched you so you know he wasn't lying about his feelings for you and he doesn’t just want sex. You had those feelings for him before, but claimed to have lost them with time.
Your overwhelming thoughts are enough to put an end to what was going on. You pull down your dress, hiding the evidence of his touch, and sit up straight in the seat. “Maybe we should head home before we do something we might regret later.”
He hums and smiles, not an ounce of disappointment in his features. “No argument from me."
Satoru put his seatbelt on and watched as you did the same before starting the car. There was no need for him to set up the GPS because all he did was drive straight, so all he had to do was drive back the other way.
You didn’t expect the car ride to be so quiet. Maybe he did want things to go further. You couldn’t bear to look back at Satoru, even though you could feel him side eyeing you as he drove. There were a couple times where he turned his head to look at you when you stopped at red lights, but you knew you couldn’t look back until you had something to say. You were overthinking everything that happened until that point. What can you say when you just went through an entire roller coaster of emotions with someone you call a best friend? Someone who has now seen you in a vulnerable position.
“Did you at least eat?” Satoru asks, finally breaking the heavy silence that engulfed the car.
“Uh, yeah. I was able to get through my meal," you respond, glancing at him quickly before turning back to face the window.
He nods in acknowledgement. You see the stop sign at the end of your street, signaling the closeness of home.
Satoru parks the car in the driveway, and you finish removing your shoes. You enter the house, expecting to see Suguru and Shoko up waiting for you guys, but to your surprise, the doors to their bedrooms are shut.
“Goodnight, Satoru," you say. “Thanks again, for picking me up.”
“Yeah, no worries,” he responds. “Goodnight.”
You can’t shake the void left in your gut after your time with Satoru. You sit on your bed for a moment thinking of the intimacy that occurred between you and him. The gentleness of his touch, the lack of judgement from him when you basically told him that you dress your best even for scumbags. Something inside you was begging you to tell him how much you wanted him to sleep in your room—in your bed. And that’s exactly what you aimed for with this rush of adrenaline that surged through you. You rose off the bed quickly, and made haste to reach his bedroom.
You knocked, calling his name once. Once was all it took for him to leap to open the door.
“Can you help me with something?” You asked, hoping he held no ill will towards you and that he wouldn’t deny you.
“Sure. With what?”
You motion for him to follow you to your room, and he does with no further questions, following your bare feet as you lead him to your room.
“I tied the knot for my dress a little too tightly." You let out a quiet chuckle, your nervousness imbued into it.
“Oh, I see," he says, stifling a grin. "Turn around.” His finger circles in the air.
You turn your back to him, facing the mirror on your vanity. You can feel his knuckles grazing your lower back as he takes the time to slowly loosen the knot, the straps that once sat wrapped around your waist dropping loosely.
“There,” he murmurs, still standing behind you, looking at you through the mirror.
“Thank you,” you say so quietly that it’s almost a whisper.
Normally, that is the cue for someone to leave, but there was this branch of electricity connecting him to you. He couldn’t find a reason to step away from you, so instead he stepped closer. His arms encircled your waist, his hands interlocking above your lower abdomen. Your stomach swarmed with butterflies—blood thirsty ones that knew all too well that they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon, so long as Satoru was in your room.
He leaned in to kiss your shoulder, an act that brought goosebumps to your skin. "You look really pretty." You give in to the feeling, tilting your head to give him the entire canvas of that side of your neck. He wondered if you would be upset if you saw his kisses on your neck in the morning.
He stops and looks for your approval first because he has arrived centimeters behind the line between friends who are really comfortable with each other and something deeper. You have to let him know that it’s okay to cross this line.
“It’s okay,” you say, squeezing the hands that rest on your lower abdomen. “Don't stop."
That’s the green light he needed in order to move on. He did not hesitate at all in pulling back his arms and undoing the knot that held your dress up. He watched as the smooth velvet cascaded down your body, pooling at your feet, leaving you in nothing but those precious lace panties. You felt vulnerable with your bare chest out, but made no attempt to hide yourself.
He was frozen for a second or two, speechless at the sight before him.
“No one deserves you,” he finally says, his arms snaking around your torso. His lips start leaving behind their marks on the other side of your neck. He drags his kisses down your shoulder, biting once, then twice, resulting in a couple giggles from you.
“Close the door, please,” you say, realizing Shoko and Suguru would see what was happening if they opened their doors.
Satoru releases you only to close the door, locking it for safe measures. As soon as he’s back, he’s wrapping his arms around you before pushing both of you towards your bed. He starts stripping his clothes off, until he's left in just his boxers. His eyes never leave yours, a lovestruck smile on his face.
“You will never know how many times I’ve dreamt of this scenario."
“Stop.” You giggle, withstanding the sting of his lips on more than you neck. It’s heat on your chest and on your stomach now, his hands holding your waist so gently. You’ll look like some abstract piece of art by morning with the endless waves of kisses that Satoru gives you. He wants you so badly. Devastatingly so. He wants to prove that he is the closest to deserving you by the end of the night.
Your heartbeat is inconsolable in your ribcage. The eye contact brought some reality to the situation. He chuckles at the doe-eyed look on your face before refocusing on his task. He's nearing the elastic band of your underwear, those cute lacy ones he got to touch in the car. His touch is already affecting you, the evidence being a wet spot reemerging in the middle of your underwear.
"You're so warm and soft, and..." he sighs, your body making his mind cloud. He couldn't have ever accurately imagined how stunning you would be with just the golden street lamp's light shining through your window. "...you smell really fucking good." His hands go beneath the elastic band of your underwear, dragging his dainty fingers through your slit enough times to earn a small gasp from you, before pulling his hand out. "Bet you taste amazing, too," he says, wrapping his lips around his glossy digits. "Mhm..." he practically moans when your taste coats his tastebuds. "Sweeter than I could have ever imagined."
You don't think you'll get over Satoru saying these explicit things to you.
"More. Fuck, I need more." There's so much he wants to do to you, so little time in the night despite it only being 11:30. "God, you're so..." he cuts himself off and kisses down your stomach, impatiently—desperately. "...so pretty. So—fuck— so pretty. Gonna make you feel so good."
"Okay, 'toru, make sure to breathe," you tease, running your fingers through his soft locks as he nears your throbbing core.
He drags his nose up and down the wet patch of your panties, audibly inhaling your scent and exhaling through shuddered breaths. He sounds feral, his aching cock creating its own pool of arousal in his boxers. The tip of his nose was covered in your slick, the remnants of you on his skin driving him absolutely crazy. Once he absolutely couldn't take it anymore, he yanked your underwear down, almost tearing the pretty fabric and tossed it onto the floor. You were soaked at the sight of his pure lust towards you. Those eyes were darker than you've ever seen them before.
He tries to be slow and gentle for you. You're the one thing he's wanted for the longest time and now he has you. You're not guaranteed to be his forever, after this, but at least the night is secured and he has this one chance to prove that he would do it right with you. That he could handle your body with a tenderness and loving that would make you weep. Everything you want in a lover will be given to you in one act of demonstrating how undeniably in love with you he is.
His attempt at slow sensuality never reaches you. His arms are hooked tightly around your thighs to prevent you from squirming away from his greedy mouth. He wants everything you give him to never end. The melodic sound of you moaning his name, the sweet nectar that just keeps drooling out of your cunt, the sting on his scalp from the firm hold you have on his hair and the tugging. He's in heaven. If the possibility of this reoccurring is nonexistent, he wants this moment to loop. For there to be a glitch in real life that allows him to replay this scenario as many times as he likes, like a story with multiple endings.
"You taste so good. So fucking good, princess. Wanna give you a taste," he rambles. He unwraps his right arm from your thigh and uses his forearm to pin it down so that he can use his fingers on you. He bends all his fingers down except for his index and middle fingers. Your slick is already streaming out of you, ready to be collected, but he can't resist the urge to dip his fingertips into your pulsing hole. "Oh fuck, you're so wet," he utters in awe, quickly tossing the idea of just his fingertips going in when his long, lithe fingers sink into you with ease.
"Satoru," you choke out, a sharp gasp following. The pads of his fingers brush against that spot within you that forces you to bite your lip. Your heart is racing. What if you get caught? How would you explain what's going on to your friends and would the dynamic of your living situation change because of it? You care, but clearly not enough to second guess this moment again, like you did in the car.
"Mmm..." he moans against your clit, his lips smacking after releasing the now throbbing bundle. "So sweet." He pulls his fingers out of you and admires the glaze that drips down to his knuckles. He wants to be selfish and put them in his mouth, but his need for you to know how good you are to his tastebuds overpowers those thoughts. "Open, pretty," he says, tapping his wet fingers against your lips. He watches with parted lips as you take his slick coated digits into your mouth, shutting your lips around them to completely suck off your essence. "Good, huh?" A pleased grin appears when you nod. "Yeah... I want it back." He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and puts them on your right breast, smearing your saliva all over your nipple until it pebbles.
All you can do is say "huh?" before your lips are enveloped by his. The kiss starts out slow— he's taking a moment to appreciate how perfect your lips feel against his. For a minute you can feel the way he innocently wants you. You have butterflies in your stomach all over again.
His hunger for you grows with every sharp breath you release and the squirming beneath his unrelenting hands on your chest. Your heart has been pounding in your ears since he slipped his tongue into your mouth and you have goosebumps from all the rubbing, brushing, and tweaking he offers your nipples, the throbbing in your cunt only intensifying as you withstand it. He thinks the whimpers that seep into your kisses are the cutest sounds ever and he doesn't want them to stop, so he glides a hand down your abdomen and gives you the touch you're missing.
You break the kiss, throwing your head back into the pillow at the feeling of Satoru rubbing your clit. He watches through gleaming eyes the way your jaw hangs and allows the sweetest moans to spill from your kissed up lips.
"Feeling good?" He asks, grinning when you respond with a moan that makes you clasp a hand over your mouth. "Yeah? That's an answer, too." He chuckles, watching intently as you crumble beneath his touch, not some zero's who made a fool out of himself.
You uncover your mouth, your sounds amplifying and flowing freely. "Satoru," you gasp. "Oh, fuck– S-Satoru!" The last words you manage to cry out before you cum without a warning.
You look way too pretty arching your back off the bed and chasing friction from his hand. Your neck looks palpable like that, exposed for him like you want him to mark it up and take a few bites.
"Let me make you feel good, pretty girl," he coos, drunk off the cute sounds of the heaves and sobs that wrack through your chest, your little whines shining through them. Lustful, lidded eyes watch as you try to wriggle away from his touch.
"P-Please," you huff out, your trembling thighs working to shut around his hand. It's too much, your peak has passed and now you're left to bear the overwhelming feeling of his unstopping fingers.
"I know, I know. It's terrible..." he murmurs. His tip is leaking so much at the sight of your body jerking and your eyes welling with tears. He really loves the way you've surrendered yourself to him. "You're so pretty." He sighs, dreamily. He stops and wiggles his hand out of the tight embrace of your thighs. You take a deep breath and blink away tears, focusing on the comforting movement of his hands caressing your thighs. He can see the way you look at his body. His chest, the sculpted muscles of his abdomen, the pale happy trail that leads to a part of him that you are unfamiliar with.
He crawls over you, his lower body wedged between your legs. "Don't be scared to touch," he says, his tone sultry. He grabs ahold of your hand and places it on his chest, initiating the contact for you. You take control and allow your hands to roam his body. Like you're in a room full of random unpressed buttons, you explore the different reactions you get from touching different parts of him. You discovered that his nipples are sensitive. He groaned into your neck when you palmed at his pecs and borderline whimpered when you focused your touch on his peaks. He shuddered when you traced along his ribs, but once you neared his stomach and waist, things got hot for you all over again. Your heart raced as he breathed into your neck due to the feeling of your nails gently scratching along his abs. He was rutting his clothed bulge against your cunt, desperate, low moans leaving him with every graze of your nails along his waist.
"F-Fuck, I can't wait anymore. Please, let me in." He whips out the cutest puppy eyes you've ever seen, and though they're unnecessary, you're not opposed to him having to resort to those means.
"Y-Yeah, okay," you breathe, feeling the throbbing in your cunt intensify when he stopped rolling his hips against you.
He's rushing, his movement stuttered and his hands shaking with desperation as he works his boxers off. He's impressed with the amount of precum that went into them, but he doesn't waste time admiring the mess any longer once he frees his achingly hard, drooling cock. It's sensitive to the touch. He'll cum if he doesn't play his cards right while lathering his length with the essence that beads at his tip. With that taken care of, he comes close to you again.
"This is gonna be the slowest start ever," he says under his breath, eyeing that sweet little smile on your face, like you understand the turmoil he's going through with just trying to get inside you. His tip nudges your clit, spreading some of his precum onto the nub as he guides it up and down your slit a couple times. He's working himself up to sinking in because he knows how wet you are. After a few more strokes, he presses just the tip in, nestling it into your warmth with a groan. You gasp as he slowly drives himself into you, the stretch his girth induces proving to be immense. He tries to steady his stuttering hips as he pushes more of his length in.
"Little more, just a liiittle more," he says through soft breaths, more to himself than you. Once he glides the rest of his length in, he feels like he's going to explode. He's throbbing so hard and you're not helping at all with the brief, inconsistent spasming of your walls. "Oh fuck... shit," he whimpers, thrusting only halfway into you. "Sorry—fuck—s-sorry... I can't-" He gasps when he thrusts the rest of the way in, spewing his load as he just grinds against you.
Your eyes widen as you watch him, his eyes shut tightly, his jaw hanging ajar to release shaky breaths. His cheeks, neck and chest are blazed, bright color smothered over his pale skin.
"Shit..." he rasps, still taking deep breaths.
You can't even ridicule him for this when he looks so fine. The laugh he let out was enough to make your thighs twitch.
"It's alright, Satoru. It's getting pretty late, anyway."
"No-the-fuck it's not," he says, looking down at you with the smallest crease between his brows. He's wanted this—wanted you—for way too long and he can't leave your room without showing you just how badly he desires you. It's a need, at this point.
A chill runs down your spine and your heart drops at his response.
"I mean, i'm not tired. Are you?" He asks, softening a little after coming in so hot with his last response.
You're not and even if you were, it's those eyes... They compel you to want to do things for his sake. They're so soft and you feel wanted beneath their force. You feel everything he said to you in the car when you peer into his eyes.
"No. I'm not tired either," you respond, which instantly puts a smile on his face.
"Good. Let me try again."
Neither of you mentioned any of what happened within that quick span of time. No mentions of him spilling the second he got inside you or you trying to end the night to save him the embarrassment, and it turned out for the better. No awkwardness once he recovered and went back to proving his love for you. He went straight into it, thrusting at a slow pace to start you off. He held onto your hips as he leaned in and kissed all over your chest, sucking your delicate skin to leave little reminders of him for you to see in the morning.
He groans, muffled by your warm skin, when you scratch the back of his head, guiding your nails through the short hairs of his undercut and down the nape of his neck. He's purring like a satisfied cat, the soft breaths he lets out through his nose grazing your neck.
With all these good feelings comes Satoru picking up the pace. His hips meet yours a little more quickly and suddenly both of you get a little more courage to make more sound.
"Fuck," you whimper. "Satoru... S-Satoru..."
"I know..." he grunts. "I know, baby. I feel really good, too."
You just look so damn pretty, with your starry eyes and your messy hair, and the way you keep moaning his name. He has to kiss you again. Each time he kissed you before was accompanied by fireworks. This time... who knows? He certainly won't unless he gains the courage to do it once more.
He leans forward and stares deep into your eyes. The level of intimacy has doubled down and you feel like your heart is trying even harder to lurch out of your chest. He's not stopping, you can feel his breath on your lips as he pants through the exertion of his hips. Then, once again, with a whimper as he closes the distance between your mouths, he kisses you. It's not fireworks this time, it's an entire fire and you kissing him back like you need him just as much is fanning the wild flames.
"Love... you," he disperses the words through his kisses. He doesn't only say it once. He says it multiple times as your lips are moving, making those pauses purposeful. "Fuck– I love you," he repeats, breaking the kiss when you don't say anything. "Come on," he chuckles. "Say it back."
"Satoru..." you say, softly.
"You say it all the time to us. What's another time?"
You bite back a laugh when you see those brilliant eyes again. He knows the effect they have on people and uses them to his advantage.
"It doesn't..." he groans, cursing under his breath when you suddenly clench around him. "...have to mean anything more than it usually does."
You're hesitant, but figure that as long as he doesn't take it as more than what he's used to—at least until things are talked through—there can't be any harm in saying what he wants to hear.
"Love you, 'toru."
The words are way too sweet, too gentle on his ears. The smile you offered as you delivered those words was devastatingly beautiful. You've said this a million times, each time so friendly, so lovingly, the meaning never feigned or faded with its repetition, but in that moment, he felt the words more than he ever did before. Your plush thighs are pressed against his hips, your hands are on his chest, and he can still smell that perfume you spritzed on your skin before you left. He's never heard you like this before, so sultry that it almost seems like an invasion of privacy.
"Again... say it again, p-please." With the scene that is playing out before his very eyes, he wants to imagine you meaning it as a term for lovers.
"I-I..." you let out a sharp gasp, your words cut off by the feeling of his cock brushing against that weak spot within you. "I love y-you, Satoru."
You're saying it to him only, right now. It's not 'I love you guys', it's 'I love you, Satoru', and he's drowning in it all. Your voice, the words, the blissed out look on your face. He's weak.
"Yeah?" He laughs, sounding almost delirious from how good he feels and how he's trying so hard not to cum.
"Mhm," you respond.
"T-That's good to know," he says, breathily. He's picking up the pace again, almost knocking the wind out of you with that first thrust in the change of pace. You're scratching up his back, wrapping your legs around his waist while he moans into the crook of your neck.
"G-Gonna cum, gonna fucking cum, again."
"Please... cum inside," you babble, nonsensically.
"Yeah? You want it inside again?" He asks, grinning when you hum and nod in confirmation. Who is he to deny you of such a simple want?
With a few more harder thrusts, he's filling you to the brim again with his warm cum. He's breathing heavily into your neck, mouthing at your skin sloppily as your cunt flutters around him. He's babbling on and on asking you if you came and if you feel good, while you're trying not to cry out too loudly from how hard you did. It's only until he unsticks himself from your tacky skin that he sees the aftermath of your orgasm. Your lidded eyes, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the sound of your shuddered breaths brushing past your lips. He's thinking about it again. No one deserves you, but clearly, he was the closest.
He tosses himself beside you once you both come down. Your blanket is shared between the two of you, it reaches just above your chest and above Satoru's hips.
He sighs as he turns over to face you as you stare up at the ceiling. "You think they heard us?" He asks, voice low and intimate, yet a mischievous smirk that tells you he wouldn't care if they did, plays on his lips.
"Not sure. I guess we'll find out tomorrow." Now it's your turn to sigh. You don't even want to think about how weird breakfast might be in the morning.
"Hey," he calls for your attention. You turn onto your side to face him, keeping the blanket close to your body. "It's gonna be fine. What's the worst that could happen? They tease us or call us dumb?" You give him a soft smile. Normally, you're the one calling him dumb while the others agree. "Don't know about you, but I don't mind. They don't know the story, anyway. Right?"
"Right."
Time slowed down in that moment. You both just stared at each other in silence, thinking about what just happened. You were comfortable together, lying there, satisfied with your decisions. He pulled you closer by your blanket covered waist and pressed kisses into your cheek, enough to make you giggle until you started returning the kisses. To anybody, this would be considered a sight of two lovers taking care of each other after a night of intimacy. The whispered words, the quiet laughter between kisses, the gentle drags of fingers on harsh marks—it all points to love. You think things might be okay, after all.
It took a while for you and Satoru to untangle yourselves from each other. Eventually, he got up and dressed into everything but his messy boxers. You weren't going to get back into your dress so you laid back for a while and watched as he collected himself.
"Well... I'll see you in the morning." His hand is on the doorknob and he's looking at you, shamelessly raking his eyes over your body as if he's trying to memorize you all over again within the short span of his goodnight to you.
"Mhm. Goodnight."
He pulls the door open, still not detaching his gaze from you. "Goodnight," he says, his voice low, yet warm and brimming with love. He spares one more soft smile for you, before walking out and clicking the door shut behind him.
You think you finally understand why he's so hung up on the way you say goodnight.
#gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo fic#jujutsu gojo#gojo fluff#gojo smut#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu satoru#jujutsu kaisen fic#jujutsu kaisen satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fic#jjk fluff#jjk scenarios
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⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - AFRAID
ᯓᡣ𐭩 paring ─ ୨୧ ─ dark!boyfriend!rafe cameron ⋆ reader
ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which Rafe hatches a plan to ensure you stay by his side, by making you dependent on him.
ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ explicit language noncon/dubcon, smut, rafe drugs reader, substance abuse, toxic relationship, emotional abuse, baby trapping/forced pregnancy, possessiveness, controlling behaviors, threats of violence, loss of virginity, corruption, breeding kink, dirty talk (like a lot), abandonment issues, manipulation, rough sex, hairpulling, fingering, unprotected vaginal sex, powerplay, choking, semi public sex, car sex, creampie (please dni if your sensitive to these topics your mental health should come first)
ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 8,960
⋆˚✿˖° a/n ─ ୨୧ ─ is there a plot not really, it may seem long but 80% of this is smut. this is unrelated but i think his season 1 & 2 rafe hair were elite to me but I just hate buzz cuts on everyone so my opinion doesn't matter here. The ‘Lila’ is now edited I use it as a placeholder (because for some reason I hate putting y/n while writing) before I replace it with y/n but of course my dumbass forgot to do that when I published this.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔.:・Afraid・:.ೃ࿔.⋆❀°
(༝༚༝༚ lana del rey)
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆
Rafe sits across from you at your usual table in the country club, his jaw clenching rhythmically as he watches you flip through the college applications. His fingers drum against the polished wooden table, creating a nervous pattern that matches his increasing anxiety. The sight of all those prestigious university names makes his stomach turn - Harvard, Yale, Princeton - each one threatening to take you further away from Outer Banks, from him. He barely touches his plate of steak, too preoccupied with the growing unease in his chest.
"Why the fuck are you even looking at schools that far?" He snaps suddenly, his voice carrying a sharp edge as he reaches across to snatch one of your fries, popping it into his mouth with more force than necessary. His blue eyes darken with barely contained irritation, especially when he catches Topper's wave from across the room. He returns it with a curt nod, his attention immediately returning to you. "You know there's perfectly good schools right here in North Carolina. UNC's got a decent program."
You glance up from your binder, your eyes meeting Rafe's intense blue ones. You set down your fork carefully on your half-eaten Caesar salad, a soft sigh escaping your lips. The sunlight streaming through the country club's windows catches on your hair, creating a halo effect around your skin. "Baby, we've talked about this," you say gently, "These schools have amazing programs for what I want to study. And it's not like I'm making any decisions yet - I'm just looking at options."
The afternoon sun streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows catches on his rings as he reaches up to run a hand through his disheveled hair, a telltale sign of his growing agitation. The country club bustles around them with the usual crowd of Kooks - women in tennis whites gossiping over martinis, men in polo shirts discussing their latest yacht purchases. But Rafe's focus remains fixed on those damned college applications, his jaw working overtime as he grinds his teeth.
The cocaine from earlier isn't helping his paranoia, making his thoughts race faster than he can process them. The idea of you leaving, of losing control over this one good thing in his life, sends a fresh wave of anxiety through his system. His free hand unconsciously reaches up to rub at his chest, a nervous tick he's developed. The country club suddenly feels too small, too confined, and he can feel his breathing getting slightly erratic. "Just... just put those away for now," he demands, trying to maintain his composure despite the rising panic in his chest. "We're supposed to be having lunch, not planning your fucking escape route."
You reach across the table with your free hand, your fingers brushing against his chest where he's rubbing anxiously. The familiar scent of his cologne mixed with something sharper - probably remnants of whatever he'd been doing before lunch - fills your nostrils as you lean closer. "Rafe, you're spiraling again," you observe quietly, mindful of the other diners around them. Your eyes flick briefly to Topper and his mother as they pass, offering a polite smile before returning your attention to your increasingly agitated boyfriend. "And you know that's not fair. I'm not trying to escape anything, especially not you."
"Besides," he continues, his tone taking on that manipulative edge he's so good at, "You really want to leave all this behind? The island, the parties, me?" He leans forward, lowering his voice to that dangerous whisper he uses when he's trying to get his way. "You know I can't follow you out there. I've got responsibilities here, the family business..." His hand shoots out to grab your wrist, not painfully, but firmly enough to make his point. "And what about us? You're going to throw away what we have for some fancy degree you could get right here?"
The weight of his intense stare makes you shift in your seat, your sundress rustling against the plush cushions. You can see the telltale signs of his growing panic - the clenched jaw, the rapid breathing, the way his fingers keep twitching against the table. Part of you wants to close the binder, to give in like you usually do when he gets like this. But another part, the part that's been dreaming about life beyond the island since you were little, keeps your hand steady on the applications. "What about a compromise?" you suggest, your voice taking on that soothing tone you learned to use when he's on edge. "What if I apply to both - some schools here in North Carolina and some out of state? That way we have options to discuss later?"
Your free hand moves from his chest to his face, your thumb gently stroking along his clenched jaw. You can feel the tension there, the way he's grinding his teeth. The chatter of the country club fades into background noise as you focus solely on him, knowing how quickly his mood can shift when he feels cornered. "And hey," you add, your voice dropping to a whisper as you lean even closer, your lips quirking into a small smile, "No matter where I end up going, you know you're the only one I want, right? These other Kook boys could never compare to my Rafe Cameron."
The familiar weight of the promise ring he gave you three months ago sits heavy on your finger, catching the light as you move. You learned over your time together that sometimes Rafe needs this - needs to be reminded that he's your choice, that you're his. Even if the possessiveness sometimes scares you, even if his mood swings leave you walking on eggshells, you can't deny the way your heart still races when he looks at you like he is now - like you're something precious he's terrified of losing. "Can we at least look through them together? You might see something you like too."
Rafe lets go of your wrist his hand shooting out to slam your binder shut with enough force to make nearby diners jump. "Don't fucking patronize me," he growls, his voice low and threatening despite their public setting. The gentle stroke of your thumb against his jaw only heightens his agitation, like a match to gasoline. "You think I don't see what this is?" He leans forward, invading your space across the table, his blue eyes wild with a mixture of possessiveness and barely contained rage. "First it's just 'looking at options,' then suddenly you're gone, probably fucking some ivy league asshole who doesn't know you like I do." His breathing becomes more erratic, the hand on his chest pressing harder as anxiety mingles with his growing anger. The familiar scent of your perfume - usually calming - now seems to mock him with its potential absence.
"You're trying to leave me, just like everyone else. Just like my mom, just like Sarah..." His voice cracks slightly on his sister's name before hardening again. "Well, I won't fucking let you."
You tense at the sudden shift in Rafe's demeanor, your heart rate picking up as you watch him slam your binder shut. The warmth drains from your eyes, replaced by a flicker of fear you try desperately to hide. Your skin prickles with goosebumps as he invades your space, his paranoia rolling off him in waves. You’ve seen him like this before, but never quite this intense, never quite this threatening in such a public place.
"Rafe, please," you whisper, your voice trembling slightly as you glance around at the other diners who are now openly staring at them. Your sundress suddenly feels too thin, too exposed under his wild-eyed gaze. You can smell the mixture of his cologne and sweat, and see the way his pupils are dilated - clear signs he's high again. "You're making a scene. Can we please just discuss this somewhere private?"
A laugh escapes his throat at your suggestion of talking, the sound drawing more concerned glances from nearby tables. "Discuss? There's nothing to fucking discuss." His voice takes on that manipulative tone he knows works so well, mixing threat with vulnerability. "You belong here, with me. Do you think any of those places are gonna love you like I do? Understand you like I do?" His eyes flick to the promise ring on your finger, a visible reminder of his claim on you. "Or maybe that's what you want - to get away from the crazy boyfriend, right? Is that what this is about?"
The cocaine-fueled paranoia reaches a crescendo as he suddenly stands, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. He towers over you, his presence intimidating despite the public setting. "You're not going anywhere," he declares, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper as he leans down close to your ear. "And if you try, I'll make sure every single one of those fancy schools loses your application. Don't test me, baby." His lips brush against your ear as he speaks, a twisted mixture of threat and affection that's purely him. "Now get your shit. We're leaving." His hand moves to grip your upper arm, ready to pull you up from your chair, his entire body vibrating with barely contained violence and possessive need.
The promise ring feels like it's burning on your finger as tears start to well up in your eyes. "I'm not trying to leave you," you plead, your voice barely above a whisper. I'm not trying to leave you, I love you, Rafe. You know I do. But you're hurting me right now." You can feel your body starting to shake, whether from fear or adrenaline, you're not sure anymore.
You let him pull you to your feet, knowing resistance will only make things worse. Your college applications lay forgotten on the table as you stumble slightly, your legs weak from the sudden movement. "Okay," you concede, your voice small and defeated. "Okay, we can go. Just... please calm down. Please." Your free hand comes up to rest on his chest again, feeling his racing heartbeat under your palm. "Let's go to your family's place and talk about this properly. Just you and me, baby. Like we always do."
Rafe feels you trembling beneath his grip, and something in your tear-filled eyes pierces through his cocaine-addled rage. His breathing is still erratic, but the feel of your hand against his racing heart starts to ground him. The familiar scent of your perfume begins to cut through the paranoid haze, reminding him of lazy mornings in his bed, of your soft sighs against his neck. His grip on your arm loosens slightly, though he doesn't let go completely.
"Fuck," he mutters, running his free hand through his disheveled hair as reality starts seeping back in. The stares of the other country club patrons finally register, and he can feel his father's disapproval even in his absence. His jaw clenches and unclenches as he struggles to regain control. "Yeah... yeah, okay. Let's go home." His voice is still rough, but the dangerous edge has dulled somewhat. He reaches past you to grab your binder, shoving it under his arm - he's not leaving it here for you to come back to later.
The walk to his truck is tense, his hand moving from your arm to the small of your back - still possessive, but less aggressive. The cocaine is making him jittery, his thoughts racing between paranoia and guilt. Once you're inside his truck, he slams his palms against the steering wheel, making you jump. "I just..." he starts, his voice cracking slightly. "I can't lose you too, baby. I can't." His blue eyes, when they meet yours, are still wild but now tinged with desperation rather than rage. "Everyone leaves. Everyone always fucking leaves."
He reaches across the center console to pull you closer, burying his face in your neck. His breathing is still uneven, but slower now as he inhales your scent. "Stay," he whispers against your skin, his voice taking on that vulnerable quality that only you get to hear. "Just... stay with me. Please." His hand slides up to cup the back of your neck, his thumb stroking the soft skin there. It's the closest thing to an apology you’re likely to get from him, this moment of raw vulnerability between the storms of his temper.
Rafe paces anxiously across Topper's home gym, his footsteps echoing against the polished hardwood floors as sweat drips down his bare chest from their workout session. The late afternoon sun streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows, casting long shadows across the expensive exercise equipment. His muscles are tense not just from lifting weights, but from the constant anxiety gnawing at his insides about your potential departure. The cocaine from earlier is still coursing through his system, making his thoughts race faster than he can process them.
"I'm telling you guys, she's fucking leaving me," he complains, running a hand through his sweat-dampened hair as he continues his relentless pacing. The familiar panic starts rising in his chest again, making him rub at it absently. "All these fucking college applications... Harvard, Yale, Princeton. She's planning her escape and I can't... I can't fucking let that happen." His blue eyes are wild as they dart between Kelce and Topper, sprawled across the leather bench press seats, watching their friend's mounting distress.
Kelce exchanges a knowing look with Topper before speaking up, his voice careful as he watches Rafe's increasingly agitated movements. "Man, you need to chill. Maybe if you weren't so fucking intense about it-" Rafe's sharp laugh cuts him off, the sound bouncing off the mirrored walls. "Intense? You think I'm being intense?" Rafe's voice rises as he spins to face them, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "My girl's trying to leave the fucking state, and you're telling me to chill?"
"Well," Topper drawls, wiping his face with a monogrammed towel, "you could always do what my cousin did when his girlfriend tried to leave for college." He pauses for dramatic effect, a smirk playing on his lips. "Got her knocked up. Can't exactly go to Yale with a baby on the way, can you?" He's clearly joking, but something in Rafe's expression shifts, his eyes taking on that dangerous gleam that appears when he's formulating a plan.
"That's..." Rafe stops pacing, his mind racing with possibilities. His jaw clenches rhythmically as he processes the idea. "That's fucking perfect." He starts pacing again, but this time with purpose, his movements predatory rather than anxious. "She'd have to stay. She'd be tied to me forever." His voice takes on that obsessive quality that appears when he's fixating on something. "No more fucking college applications, no more threats of leaving. She'd be mine, completely mine."
"Dude," Kelce sits up straighter, realizing Rafe's actually considering it. "I don't think that's what Topper meant-" But Rafe's already lost in his world, his cocaine-fueled paranoia latching onto this new solution like a lifeline. "She's still a virgin too," he continues, more to himself than his friends, his rings catching the light as he gestures animatedly. "Waiting for the 'right moment' or some shit. Well, guess that moment's coming sooner than she thought."
"No, no, this could work," Rafe continues, his voice taking on that edge that suggests he's spiraling into one of his episodes. "Her parents are traditional as fuck, they'd make her keep it. And Ward's always going on about wanting grandkids to carry on the Cameron name..." He's fully pacing now, his movements jerky and aggressive as the plan solidifies in his mind. "She's been hinting about wanting to do it soon anyway. Valentine's Day is coming up..."
The gym falls silent except for the sound of Rafe's footsteps and heavy breathing. Neither Kelce nor Topper dare speak, knowing from experience that trying to talk Rafe down when he's like this - especially when he's high - is pointless and potentially dangerous. They watch as their friend works himself into a frenzy, plotting the permanent capture of his girlfriend with the same intense focus he applies to everything he wants to possess.
"It's perfect," Rafe finally declares, stopping his pacing to face his friends. His chest heaves with excited breaths, sweat making his skin shine in the fading sunlight. "She'll never leave me then. She'll have to stay here, raise our kid, be the perfect fucking family."
The thought of you, permanently his, unable to leave him, sends a rush of possessive pleasure through his system. "You guys didn't hear any of this," he suddenly stops, fixing both Kelce and Topper with a threatening stare. "Not a fucking word to anyone, got it?" His voice carries that dangerous edge that reminds them why people are scared of him, why even other Kooks think twice before crossing him.
"Jesus Christ, Rafe," Topper mutters, running a hand through his hair as he watches his friend's descent into this new obsession. "This is fucked up, even for you." But he knows that look in Rafe's eyes. Once Rafe sets his mind to something, especially when he's high, there's no talking him out of it. The gym feels smaller suddenly, charged with the energy of Rafe's newfound determination.
Rafe stands at the door of the l/n estate, his tall frame cutting an imposing figure in his tailored black suit. His blue eyes are slightly dilated from the line of cocaine he did in his truck to calm his nerves, but he's made sure to eye drop and cologne himself thoroughly. The velvet box containing the surprise he has planned for later weighs heavy in his pocket as he shifts anxiously, his rings catching the light as he reaches up to adjust his tie.
When Paul opens the door, Rafe immediately straightens his posture, forcing his most charming smile - the one he uses when he needs to impress. "Good evening, Mr. L/N," he greets, his voice steady despite the cocaine making his heart race. The older man's scrutinizing gaze reminds him uncomfortably of his own father's disapproving stares. The foyer behind Paul gleams with old money - crystal chandeliers, marble floors, and family portraits that speak of generations of Kook legacy.
"Rafe," Paul acknowledges with a slight nod, his eyes narrowing as he takes in the young man's appearance. There's something about Ward Cameron's son that has always set him on edge, though he can't quite put his finger on what. Maybe it's the occasional wild look in his eyes or the way his daughter seems to walk on eggshells around him sometimes. "Y/N is still getting ready. Come in." He steps aside, allowing Rafe into the pristine foyer.
The sound of Rafe's expensive dress shoes echoes against the marble as he enters, his hands sliding into his pockets to hide their slight tremor - partly from the drugs, partly from anticipation of what he has planned for tonight. The house smells of old money and fresh flowers, much like his own family's estate, but somehow more sterile, fitting for a plastic surgeon's home. His fingers brush against the small packet of powder in his pocket, next to the ring box - just enough to keep him steady through dinner.
"I trust you'll have her home at a reasonable hour," Paul's voice cuts through Rafe's thoughts, making him turn to face the older man. "Of course, sir," Rafe responds, that practiced smile still in place even as his jaw clenches slightly. "We just have reservations at Le Rivage, then maybe a walk on the beach." What he doesn't mention is the rest of his plans for the evening - the champagne waiting in his truck, the blankets he's laid out at his secret spot on the beach, the pills dissolved in one of the champagne glasses that will make sure everything goes according to plan.
The sound of heels on marble draws both men's attention to the grand staircase, and Rafe's breath catches in his throat. You descend like something out of a dream, your skin glowing against the deep red of your dress making his hands itch with the need to touch you. His blue eyes darken as they track your movement, his mind already racing ahead to later in the evening, to all the ways he plans to claim you completely.
"You look fucking perfect," he breathes out when you reach the bottom of the stairs, catching himself too late to censor his language in front of your father. But he can't help it - the cocaine making him more impulsive than usual, and the sight of you making his blood run hot. He steps forward to meet you, one hand reaching out to brush against your waist, proprietary and possessive even under your father's watchful gaze. The scent of your perfume mingles with the lingering chemical taste in the back of his throat, making him dizzy with want and anticipation.
Tonight's the night, he thinks, his grip on your waist tightening slightly as Paul insists on taking pictures. Tonight you become his completely, permanently. No more college applications, no more threats of leaving. The thought makes him pull you closer, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "Ready for your Valentine's surprise, baby?" His voice carries that dangerous edge that anyone else would recognize as a warning, but he knows his sweet, innocent Y/N won't catch it. Not until it's too late.
Rafe helps you into his truck, his hand lingering possessively on your lower back as you climb in. The interior smells of expensive leather and his cologne, mixed with something chemical that makes you wrinkle your nose slightly. He slides into the driver's seat, his movements are precise despite the cocaine coursing through his system. The engine purrs to life, and he immediately reaches for your hand, intertwining your fingers as he pulls away from your family's estate.
"You really do look fucking incredible tonight," he murmurs, his blue eyes flickering between you and the road. His thumb traces circles on your palm, a gesture that would seem sweet if not for the slight tremor in his hand. "That dress is driving me crazy." His rings catch the streetlights as you drive through Figure 8, passing other massive estates and perfectly manicured lawns.
"Thank you, baby," You respond softly, your free hand smoothing down the red fabric of your dress. "You clean up pretty nice yourself." You glance at him, admiring how the streetlights cast shadows across his sharp jawline. "So, are you going to tell me where we're going for dinner? You've been so secretive about tonight."
Rafe's grip on your hand tightens almost imperceptibly. "It's a surprise, remember?" His voice carries that edge of control he can never quite hide. "But first..." He reaches behind your seat with his free hand, pulling out a small gift bag. "I got you something to wear at dinner." Inside is a delicate diamond necklace, the stones catching the light like tiny stars.
"Oh, Rafe," You breathe, reaching for the necklace. "It's beautiful. You didn't have to-" You are cut off by his laugh, that sharp sound that always makes your stomach flip. "Of course I did. Only the best for my girl." He pulls into a secluded spot overlooking the water, putting the truck in park. "Here, let me put it on you."
His hands are slightly unsteady as he fastens the necklace around your throat, his breath hot against your neck. "Perfect," he whispers, his fingers trailing down your spine. "Just like you'll be after tonight." There's something in his voice that makes you shiver, though you can't quite place why. "What do you mean?" you ask, turning to face him.
Rafe's eyes are darker now, pupils blown wide as he stares at you. "Just that I've got big plans for us, baby." His hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "Tonight's gonna change everything." He leans in closer, his other hand sliding up your thigh, pushing the fabric of your dress higher. "You trust me, right?"
"Of course I do," You whisper, even as something in your gut tells you something's off. You can feel his heart racing where your bodies are pressed together and you can smell something sharp and chemical on his breath beneath the mint. "Rafe, are you okay? You seem...different tonight."
"Never better," he responds, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Just excited to give you all your surprises." His hand moves higher up your thigh, possessive and demanding. "Now, how about we have a little drink before dinner? To celebrate Valentine's Day?" He reaches behind the seat again, pulling out an expensive bottle of champagne and two glasses.
Rafe pours the champagne with calculated precision, his hands steadier now as he hands you your specially prepared glass. The moonlight filtering through the truck's windows catches the diamond necklace at your throat, reminding him of how perfectly it marks you as his. His blue eyes track your every movement as you accept the glass, noting how the red fabric of your dress has ridden up slightly from your position.
"To us," he proposes, raising his glass with that dangerous smile playing at his lips. The cocaine makes everything feel more intense - the way your perfume fills the confined space of his truck, the soft sound of your breathing, the sight of your lips touching the rim of the glass. He watches intently as you take a sip, something predatory flickering in his eyes. "And to all the surprises tonight has in store."
"Mmm, this is really good," You comment, taking another sip. You don’t notice how Rafe barely touches his glass, too focused on watching your drink. "But shouldn't we head to dinner? We don't want to lose our reservation." You move to check the time on your phone, but Rafe's hand shoots out to stop you, his fingers wrapping around your wrist with practiced possessiveness.
"We've got time," he assures you, his voice dropping lower as he leans closer. His free hand comes up to trace the line of the necklace, fingers ghosting over your collarbone. "Besides, I want to enjoy this moment. Just you and me." He can feel your pulse racing under his fingers where they press against your wrist. "Finish your drink, baby. Then we can talk about dinner."
He watches as you obediently take another sip, then another. "You know what I love about you, Y/N?" His voice is rough now, heavy with want and something darker. "How fucking perfect you are. How innocent." His fingers trace patterns on your inner thigh, making you shiver. "How you trust me completely."
"Rafe," you breathe, and he notices your words are slightly slurred now. Your eyes are starting to look unfocused as you blink slowly at him. "I feel... strange." The champagne glass slips from your fingers, but he catches it smoothly, setting it aside. His heart is racing with a mixture of cocaine-fueled excitement and dark anticipation.
"Shh, baby," he soothes, pulling you closer as you start to sway slightly. "I've got you. Always got you." His lips brush against your neck, just above the diamond necklace. "And after tonight, you'll always be mine. No more college applications, no more threats of leaving." His voice takes on that possessive edge that would normally frighten you, but the drugs in your system are making everything feel distant and hazy.
"What did you..." you try to ask, your head falling back against the seat as your limbs grow heavy. Rafe's hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek as he watches the drugs take effect. The moonlight casts shadows across his face, making his expression look almost demonic as he smiles down at you.
"Just making sure tonight goes exactly as planned," he whispers, his other hand already reaching for the blankets he has stashed behind the seats. "Don't fight it, baby. Just let go. Let me take care of everything." His lips crash against yours, swallowing any protest you might have made as the drugs pull you deeper under their influence.
Rafe watches with dark satisfaction as your movements become increasingly sluggish, your normally bright eyes growing heavy-lidded and unfocused. He shifts in his seat, reaching to recline both of your seats back to create more space in the truck's cabin. The moonlight streaming through the windows casts ethereal shadows across your skin as he positions your body how he wants.
"Rafe..." you mumble, your voice thick and confused as he spreads the blankets beneath you. "What's happening? I feel so..." Your word trails off as he captures your lips in another possessive kiss, his hands already working at the zipper of your red dress.
"Just relax, baby," he whispers against your mouth, cocaine making his movements more aggressive than usual. "Let me take care of you." His fingers trace the newly exposed skin of your back, savoring how you shiver under his touch despite your drugged state. "You look so fucking perfect like this. So helpless. So mine."
Rafe's hands slide possessively over your body as he peels the red dress from your drugged form, revealing the black underwear underneath. His blue eyes darken with predatory hunger as he drinks in the sight of you laid out beneath him in his truck, the diamond necklace glinting at your throat like a collar. The softness of your skin, the way your chest rises and falls with each shallow breath, the little whimpers that escape your lips as you try to fight through the fog in your mind.
"Shh, baby," he soothes, his voice rough with desire as his hands roam over your exposed flesh. "Just let it happen. You know you want this." His fingers trace the edge of your lacy bra, teasing your hardened nipples through the delicate fabric. "Been waiting so fucking long for this moment. To make you completely mine."
"Rafe, please," You slurred, weakly trying to push at his chest. "Something's wrong... I can't..." Your protests are cut off by his mouth crashing against yours, his tongue forcing its way past your lips as his hand slides between your thighs. He groans when he feels how wet you are through your panties, his cock straining against his suit pants.
"Look how ready you are for me," he rubs circles against your clit through the lace. "Your body knows what it wants, even if your mind's trying to fight it." He pulls back to admire his handiwork - your lips swollen from his kisses, your pupils blown wide from the drugs, your chest heaving as you struggle to focus. "Gonna fill you up so good, baby. Gonna put my baby in you tonight."
Rafe’s fingers hook into your panties, slowly dragging them down your legs as you weakly try to squeeze your thighs together. The moonlight catches on the wetness between your legs, making him groan. "Fuck, look at that pretty pussy," he breathes, his fingers spreading you open. "All perfect and untouched. Not for long though."
Rafe's fingers work methodically between your thighs, spreading your wetness as he watches your face contort with unwilling pleasure. His other hand pins your wrists above your head, his rings cold against your feverish skin. The truck's windows are starting to fog up from your heavy breathing, creating a private cocoon around you.
"That's it, baby," he growls, sliding two fingers into you, feeling how tight you are around them. "Gonna stretch you out nice and slow before I fuck a baby into you." His cock throbs painfully in his pants as he watches you arch beneath him, the drugs making you more responsive even as you try to resist.
"No... Rafe... please," You whimper, your head thrashing weakly against the leather seat. But your body betrays you, hips rocking against his skilled fingers as he finds that spot inside you that makes you see stars. The diamond necklace glints at your throat as you gasp, reminding him of his ownership.
"Look at you, taking my fingers so well," he praises darkly, adding a third finger to stretch you further. "Can't wait to feel this tight little cunt around my cock." His thumb finds your clit, rubbing circles that make your whole body tremble. "Gonna fill you up so good, baby. Make sure my cum stays deep inside you until it takes."
The way your walls clench around his fingers, the little sounds you make as he works your body, the perfect arch of your back as you fight between pleasure and resistance. He leans down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth, biting down just hard enough to make you cry out.
"Please," you beg, though whether you're begging him to stop or continue, even you don’t know anymore. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending singing from his touch as the drugs make everything feel more intense. "Rafe... I can't..."
"Yes, you can," he demands, curling his fingers inside you as his thumb speeds up on your clit. "Come on my fingers like a good girl. Show me how much you want my cock." His blue eyes are wild with possession as he watches you fall apart beneath him, knowing that after tonight, you’ll never be able to leave him.
Rafe’s fingers work relentlessly between your thighs. His free hand moves from your wrists to grip your throat, right above the diamond necklace, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. "Let me feel that tight little pussy squeeze my fingers."
Your body betrays you even as your mind tries to resist, waves of unwilling pleasure building under his skilled touch. The drugs make everything feel heightened - the stretch of his fingers inside you, the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the heat of his breath against your neck. Your legs start to tremble as you approach your peak.
"That's it, baby," He watches your face contort with pleasure and confusion. His cock strains painfully against his suit pants, demanding attention. But he forces himself to wait, to savor this moment of taking your innocence piece by piece. "Give it to me. Show me how good I make you feel."
The sound of your heavy breathing fills the truck's cabin, mixing with the wet sounds of his fingers working between your legs. Rafe's eyes are dark with possession as he watches you fight against the inevitable, knowing that each moment brings him closer to his ultimate goal. The moonlight catches on the sweat beading on your skin, making you glow ethereally.
"I... I can't..." You whimper, your back arching off the seat as pleasure builds to an unbearable level. The drugs make everything feel like too much and not enough all at once. "Rafe, please..." Your fingers clutch desperately at his shoulders. "You can, and you will," he commands, his voice taking on that dangerous edge that brooks no argument. His fingers curl inside you, finding that spot that makes you see stars while his thumb circles your clit with practiced precision. "Come for me now. Let me feel it."
Rafe watches with dark satisfaction as your body trembles beneath him, your back arching off the leather seat as pleasure builds. His fingers work relentlessly inside your pussy, stretching and preparing you for what's to come. The way your walls clench around his digits, the little gasps and moans you can't hold back, the perfect arch of your spine as you fight between resistance and ecstasy.
"That's my good girl," his free hand moving from your throat to grip your hair, forcing you to look at him. "Watch me while you come. Want to see those pretty eyes when I make you fall apart." His thumb continues its relentless assault on your clit as his fingers curl inside you, hitting that spot that makes your whole body shake.
Your eyes flutter open, glazed with drugs and unwilling pleasure. The moonlight catches the tears gathering in your lashes as you stare up at him, unable to look away from his intense blue gaze. Your lips part in a silent scream as the pressure builds to an unbearable level, your body tightening around his fingers.
"Please," Her hands clutch desperately at his shoulders, leaving crescent marks through his expensive shirt. "Rafe, I can't... it's too much..."
"Yes, you can," he demands, his voice rough with desire and dominance. "Come for me now, baby. Show me how good I make you feel." His fingers speed up inside you, the wet sounds of your arousal filling the truck's cabin. "Let go. Let me see you fall apart before I fuck you properly."
The combination of his skilled fingers, the drugs in your system, and his commanding voice finally pushes you over the edge. Your whole body goes rigid as pleasure crashes through you, walls clenching rhythmically around his fingers as you come with a broken cry of his name.
"Beautiful," he breathes, working you through the aftershocks as you tremble beneath him. "But we're not done yet, baby. Not even close." His free hand moves to his belt, the sound of the buckle loud in the confined space. "Now it's time for the main event. Time to make you completely mine."
Rafe takes his time unbuckling his belt, the metallic sound echoing in the confined space of his truck. His blue eyes never leave your face as he watches you come down from your high, your body still trembling with aftershocks. Your chest heaves with each breath, the glisten of sweat on your skin, the slight quiver of your thighs as they remain spread for him.
"Look at you," he grunts, finally freeing his throbbing cock from his pants. "All fucked out from just my fingers, and we haven't even gotten to the best part yet." His hand wraps around his length, stroking slowly as he positions himself between your legs. The head of his cock brushes against your sensitive folds, making you whimper. "Been waiting so fucking long for this moment."
"Rafe," You slur, your drugged mind struggling to focus as you feel his size pressing against your entrance. "Wait... I'm not ready..." Your weak protests only serve to fuel his desire, his grip tightening on your hip as he holds you in place. The diamond necklace at your throat catches the moonlight as you try to shift away.
"You're more than ready, baby," he counters, using his free hand to spread your wetness along his length. "Your body's begging for it. Been begging for it all night." He leans down, capturing your lips in a possessive kiss as he starts to push inside your entrance. The stretch is intense, making you gasp against his mouth. "Gonna make you take every fucking inch."
His cock inches forward slowly, savoring the way your walls resist his invasion. The truck's windows are completely fogged now, creating a private world for just the two of you. Rafe's breathing grows heavier as he feels your tight heat enveloping him, his control starting to slip. "Fuck, you're so tight," he groans, his fingers digging into your hip hard enough to leave bruises. "Taking my cock so well, just like I knew you would."
Tears stream down your cheeks as he stretches you open, the mixture of pain and drugged pleasure making your head spin. Your hands clutch at his shoulders, nails digging into the expensive fabric of his suit jacket. "Almost there, baby," he pants against your neck, his hips still pushing forward relentlessly. "Just a little more and you'll have all of me." His free hand slides between them to rub your clit, knowing the added stimulation will help your body accept him. "Gonna fill this tight little pussy up with my cum, make sure it takes. Make sure you can never leave me."
Rafe's hips finally meet yours as he bottoms out inside you, a groan of satisfaction rumbling deep in his chest. Your walls flutter around his length as you adjust to being completely filled for the first time. The truck's cabin is thick with the scent of sex and sweat, the leather seats creaking beneath them with each subtle movement.
"There we go," he pants against your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there. His hands grip your hips possessively as he holds himself still, savoring the moment. "Been dreaming about this for so fucking long, baby. About claiming you completely." You whimper beneath him, your mind is hazy from the drugs as your body struggles to accommodate his size. Tears continue to stream down your cheeks, your fingers clutch weakly at his shoulders as you feel him throb inside you.
"Please," you manage to gasp, though your drugged state makes it hard to form coherent thoughts. "It's too much... I can't..." Your protests are cut off by his mouth capturing yours in a demanding kiss, his tongue invading your mouth just as his cock has invaded your body.
"Yes, you can," his hips starting to move in shallow thrusts. "And you will. Gonna fuck a baby into you tonight, make sure you can never leave me." His movements gradually become deeper, and more purposeful, as he establishes a rhythm. "Watch me while I do it. Want to see those pretty eyes when I breed you." One hand slides from your hip to grip your jaw, forcing you to maintain eye contact as he fucks into you. "That's it," he praises darkly as your body starts to respond despite your protests. "Take it like a good girl. Let me feel that pussy squeeze my cock."
Rafe's movements become more intense, his hips snapping against yours with increasing force as he chases his release. The truck rocks with your movements, his hands grip your hips bruisingly tight as he pounds into you, watching with dark satisfaction as pleasure and pain war across your drugged features.
"Fuck, you feel perfect," he groans, one hand sliding up to wrap around your throat just above the diamond necklace. "So fucking tight around my cock. Like you were made for this." His thumb traces your bottom lip as he continues his relentless pace. "Made to take my cum, to carry my baby."
Your head thrashes weakly against the leather seat, your body overwhelmed by the mix of drugs and unwilling pleasure. Your walls clench around him involuntarily as another orgasm builds, making him grunt with satisfaction. "That's it, baby," he praises darkly. "Squeeze my cock just like that. Show me how much your body wants this." His free hand moves between them to rub your clit, determined to make you come around his cock. "Gonna fill you up so good," he pants, his rhythm becoming more erratic as he nears his release. "Gonna pump you full of my cum until it takes. Make sure everyone knows you belong to me." His fingers speed up on your clit as he feels your walls starting to flutter. "Come for me now, baby. Let me feel that tight little pussy milk my cock."
Rafe's grip tightens on your hips as he feels his release building, his thrusts becoming more desperate and erratic. "That's it, baby," feeling your walls clench around him as another orgasm builds in your drugged body. "Come on my cock like a good girl. Show me how much you want my cum." Your back arches off the seat as pleasure crashes through you against your will, your walls squeezing his length rhythmically. The sight of you coming undone beneath him finally pushes Rafe over the edge. With a guttural groan, he buries himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing as he empties himself into your pussy. "Fuck," he pants against your neck, grinding his hips to ensure his cum stays deep inside. "All mine now."
He collapses on top of you for a moment, both of you catching your breath in the steamy confines of his truck. The diamond necklace glints at your throat as he finally pulls out, watching with dark satisfaction as his release drips from your used pussy. "No more college applications, no more threats of leaving. You're stuck with me now, baby." Without a word, he starts fixing his clothes, already planning your next encounter in his mind.
"Let's get you home, baby," he says, his voice rough as he helps you dress on shaky legs. "Don't want your daddy getting suspicious." His hand rests possessively on your thigh as he starts the truck, knowing that after tonight, everything has changed. The drive back is silent except for your occasional whimpers, the drugs still making your head fuzzy as she processes what just happened.
A week later,
Rafe lounges against his truck at the Boneyard, The beach is relatively empty at this hour, just a few surfers catching the last waves of the day. His blue eyes track your movement, noting how pale you look, and how your usual confident stride seems shakier. A smirk plays at his lips, though he keeps his expression carefully neutral.
"Hey baby," he calls out, pushing off the truck to meet you. His hands immediately find your waist, pulling you close as he studies your face. "You sounded weird on the phone. Everything okay?" The concern in his voice is perfectly crafted, masking the satisfaction he feels as he takes in your distressed state.
Your hands tremble as you pull away from his embrace, wrapping your arms around yourself protectively. "Rafe, I... I need to tell you something." Your voice cracks slightly as you speak, tears already gathering in your eyes. "I went to the doctor today..."
"What's wrong?" Rafe steps closer, his hand coming up to cup your face with practiced gentleness. Inside, his heart races with anticipation, but his expression remains one of innocent concern. "You've been sick all week. Did they figure out what's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant," you whisper, the words carried away by the ocean breeze. Your eyes search his face desperately for any sign of recognition, any hint that he remembers your Valentine's night. "But I don't... I can't remember... The last thing I clearly remember is having champagne in your truck..."
Rafe's eyes widen in perfectly feigned shock, his hand dropping from your face as he takes a step back. "You're... what?" He runs a hand through his hair, the picture of a young man receiving unexpected news. "But we've never... I mean, I thought you wanted to wait?" His voice carries just the right amount of confusion and disbelief.
"That's just it," Your voice rises slightly, panic evident in your tone. "I don't remember! Valentine's Day is just... fuzzy. But the doctor said I'm about a week along, and you're the only one I've been with..." you trail off, tears now flowing freely down your cheeks.
Rafe pulls you into his arms, hiding his triumphant smile in your hair. "Shh, it's okay," he soothes, one hand moving to rest possessively over your still-flat stomach. "We'll figure this out together. I'm here for you, baby. Always." His voice drops lower, taking on that dangerous edge you're too distraught to notice. "Guess those college applications won't be necessary anymore, huh?"
His hand tightens possessively around your waist as you tremble against him, his other hand still resting on your stomach where his child is growing. The setting sun casts long shadows across the beach, the sound of waves providing a backdrop to your quiet sobs. His blue eyes gleam with dark satisfaction as he feels you collapse further into his embrace, exactly where he wants you.
"What am I going to tell my parents?" You whisper against his chest, your voice breaking. "My dad... he's going to kill me. And all my college plans..." You pull back slightly to look up at him, mascara running down your cheeks. "Rafe, I can't remember anything from that night. How did this happen?"
Rafe's jaw clenches as he maintains his facade of confusion and concern. "Hey, look at me," he demands softly, tilting your chin up with his fingers. "Your parents love you. And my family... well, Ward's always talking about wanting grandkids." His thumb wipes away your tears as he studies your face. "Maybe this is a good thing, you know? You and me, starting our own family."
"But I had plans," you protest weakly, your hands clutching at his shirt. "Harvard, Yale... I was supposed to get out of Outer Banks..." You don’t even notice how his grip tightens painfully at your words or the flash of possessive anger in his eyes.
"Fuck those plans," he growls, before quickly softening his tone. "I mean, things change, right? Sometimes for the better." His hand slides up to cup your face, forcing you to maintain eye contact. "You've got me now. Got us. Isn't that better than some fancy college where you don't know anyone?" He’s super hyper-focused on every detail - the way you unconsciously lean into his touch, how your body fits perfectly against his, the slight swell of your breasts that's already becoming noticeable. His other hand remains possessively on your stomach, imagining how it will grow with his child.
"I'm scared," You admit, your voice small against the sound of crashing waves. "Everything's happening so fast, and I can't remember... that night is just blank, Rafe. Doesn't that bother you?" You search his face for any sign of recognition, any hint of guilt.
But Rafe's expression remains carefully crafted a mixture of concern and determination. "What bothers me is seeing you upset," he lies smoothly, pulling you closer. "We'll figure this out together, okay? You and me and our baby. "No more talk about leaving, though. You belong here, with me. Got it?"
"We should tell our parents soon," he says, his voice carrying that edge of control he can never quite hide. "Get everything out in the open. But first, promise me something, baby. Promise me you'll stop looking at those college applications."
Your eyes widen with fresh tears as you stare up at him. "But Rafe, I can't just give up everything I've worked for..." Your voice trails off as his grip tightens slightly on your chin, his blue eyes darkening with barely contained possession.
"Those dreams were for the old Y/N," he states firmly, his thumb brushing across your bottom lip. "The one who didn't have a family to think about. Things are different now." His other hand presses harder against your stomach, a reminder of what's growing inside of you. "You've got bigger responsibilities. To me. To our baby."
The waves crash against the shore behind them as silence stretches between them. Rafe can feel your pulse racing beneath his fingers where they rest against your throat and can see the moment you start to break under the weight of reality. His plan is working perfectly - soon you’ll be completely his, tied to him forever through your child.
"I... I need time to think," You finally whisper, trying to step back from his embrace. But Rafe's grip remains firm, keeping you close as the last rays of sunlight disappear behind the horizon. His expression shifts into something darker, more possessive.
"No more thinking," One of his hands slid up to tangle in your hair. "No more plans that don't include me. You're mine now, Y/N. The sooner you accept that, the better." His voice carries a threat wrapped in velvet as he stares down at you. "Or should we talk about how convenient it is that you can't remember Valentine's Day?"
Rafe's threat hangs heavy in the air as your face drains of color. His fingers tighten in your hair, cocaine making his movements more aggressive than usual. The darkened beach feels suddenly oppressive as he towers over your trembling form.
"What... what do you mean?" You whisper, your voice is small and frightened as you search his face. The familiar warmth in his blue eyes has been replaced by something cold and calculating that makes your stomach turn.
"You really want to know what happened that night?" he asks, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. His hand slides from your stomach to your hip possessively. "Want me to tell you exactly how I made sure you'd never leave me? How I watched you drink that champagne, knowing what was in it?"
You try to pull away, but his grip is iron-tight as realization dawns on your face. "No," she breathes, shaking her head in denial. "You wouldn't... you couldn't..." But the predatory smile spreading across his face tells you everything you need to know.
"I did," he confirms, pulling you closer until your faces are inches apart. "And now you're carrying my baby. No more college applications. No more dreams of leaving. You're mine forever now, baby." His thumb brushes away a tear from your cheek with mock tenderness. "And if you ever think about telling anyone... well, who's going to believe the girl who can't remember her own Valentine's Day?"
The waves crash behind them as your world crumbles around you. You can feel the weight of the promise ring on your finger - once a symbol of love, now feeling more like a shackle. Rafe watches you process everything with dark satisfaction, knowing he's won completely.
"Why?" you finally manage to ask through your tears, your voice breaking on the single word. The hand in your hair tightens as Rafe's expression turns almost tender, though his eyes remain cold.
"Because you're mine," he states simply as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And I take care of what's mine. You'll see, baby. This is better than any fancy college could ever be." His hand moves to rest on your stomach again, possessive and threatening all at once. "Our little family, together forever in Outer Banks. Just like it should be."
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