#mad about this today. in pain and mad

[luckyshouse]

the reason why fetish art and acceptance of sexuality is so insanely important is because shame is what drives the pedophile. shame and secrecy, they never learn to look their sexual expression in the face and never learn how to engage with it in an adult way with other adults. and that is partially due to the shame and harassment put onto people with strange and unusual kinks and fetishes, and partially due to their own trauma and refusal to admit that they are a sexual being and have agency over their sexuality. one thing i've noticed about all groomers and all pedophiles is that they act as if their kinks, fetishes, and sexual needs are uncontrollable. a separate part of them. something uncontrollable and something that will exist no matter what. i believe this is also why there has been very little success when it comes to rehabilitating known pedophiles, especially when considering once you do something once, it opens up the doors to continuing the same behavior because you got away with it before. but the thing is, sexuality will always, always be fluid, and people need to channel that into something else in an adult way. your sexual needs ARE your regular needs, they are the same as any other desire or need, and they can be shifted or changed when you actually care about the people you are affecting. there are so many people on this website right fucking now who are my age, and my heart bleeds for them because i know what the internet is like. i know what it is like to be bombarded by constant disgusting sexual content from as soon as you can read, its something i'm very aware of. and these people are being told that theres no fixing their sexuality, that these genuinely malicious fetishes and kinks that were pushed onto them as children have caused them to be forever pedophiles. and that they need to convince people that thats okay. but what they need is for someone to sit them the fuck down and explain to them that what they are doing is literally actively creating more people like them right now, that their CP and their incest work is literally at this moment being used to groom more kids into thinking this is ok. they need to be sat down and explained to that yes kinks and fetishes are entirely normal, they are something you should learn to incorporate into your life and expression and identity if you feel the need, they are things you need to talk to with OTHER real adults about. because we are animals, we are sexual beings by nature, and it is important for human development to open up these conversations. but shame and regret and untreated trauma keeps these people in these cycles of trying to justify some SERIOUSLY egregious shit just so they can get off without examining their trauma, or examining WHY they're getting off to this in the first place. i honestly find it really deplorable. i thought we were supposed to be the ones ensuring this shit wouldn't ever happen again to kids, and yet here we are, 2024, all the people i grew up with who i saw get groomed over and over and over and over on this website are now making posts about how looking at pictures of children getting fucked and reading stories about a brother preying on his sister is completely fucking normal. i'm sorry to burst your bubble, it isn't. your posts stink of untreated, unexamined trauma, you have let yourself become a slave to your libido that isn't even yours anymore. i don't know how to explain to these people that i am not conservative for saying this, and i don't know how to explain to these people that incest and pedophilia is literally the white mans tool for purity and control. it isn't kinky fun time, it isn't just a devious taboo. grow the fuck up. it is a white supremacy tool that was used AGAINST you to indoctrinate you and you fell for it hook line and sinker and are now trying to convince people you aren't guilty. you are. and you will be guilty until you take a moment to step back and look at yourself in the eyes, and ask yourself why that specific power dynamic is seemingly the ONLY thing that can get you off.

There are plenty of other fetishes and kinks that have almost the exact same sort of power dynamic, the same sort of humiliation or control or risque-ness out there. The issue is, these things ARE actually taboo, they are seen as the ACTUAL SEXUAL DEVIANCE, because they are intrinsically connected to art and homosexuality. that's how i know none of you mean anything you actually say, i know that none of you actually give a fuck about human psychology or "pro-kink" or anything like that because you straight up only use the excuses you use to get away with your fictional CP. i want there to be a happy ending for us, i want there to be spaces for us to express ourselves, i want to see people learn to interact with sexuality in a healthy and fun and unique way. I am so fucking tired of seeing my entire peer group take the tools that rich white pedophiles have pushed onto us and use it on eachother and younger generations. it makes me sick to my fucking stomach. Grow up. Get into other things. Stop trying to get other people to manage your trauma for you. I do not forgive you, and your posts attempting to shove your guilt onto me mean fucking nothing. You can only say "you sound like a conservative homophobe" so many times to me without sounding actually fucking insane, knowing my pedophile conservative father would be patting you on the back knowing he taught you well. You're a coward. I want to see you grow a pair.

[lulu2992]

god I hated the fc6 dlc, it just felt like it was written by people who barely knew the story and characters, they felt so out of character tbh

I don’t want to say I hate it because, as always, I’m sure the dev team did what they could with the time and resources they had, and the three DLC episodes do have qualities (their dream-like worlds, especially), but I’d be lying if I said I greatly enjoyed their stories, thought that everyone was perfectly in character, and that my instinctual reaction when I think about them wasn’t to tense up.

I’m also (and mostly, I think) sad they’re official and that the not-always-accurate events they show are unquestioned and now accepted as canon by many fans. I don’t blame them for thinking the DLCs are inherently trustworthy and I’m aware most players aren’t as fussy about lore accuracy as I am (good for them, honestly), but that still really upsets me.

[midnight-soulless-system]

I think it's both sad and hilarious to see the difference between how small children react to disabled people and how teenagers/adults react to discabled people.

Small children are just curious and want to understand why and how things work, so of course when I'm walking with my cane and limping and taking walking breaks, they're going to be confused. Sometimes their questions are blunt but it's obvious they're just curious and mean well.

And then there's everyone else. They don't even want to know about why you're disabled or anything, they just want proof that you are allowed to be disabled (like that's a fucking thing). And every time they say shit like "well prove it. Prove that you're disabled" I just look at them with a confused face. Who the fuck do you think you are, demanding to see my personal medical records, move the fuck out of the disabled parking space you abled piece of shit.

[milfbrainrot]

In less than 24 hours wellbutrin has made me realize there is a difference apparently btwn choosing not to do something vs being genuinely unable to, and therefore I am in fact not simply a lazy and selfish trash human but someone whose brain machine is just kinda broken.

And also every therapist I've seen over the last 8 years owes me an apology for never examining why I thought I had adhd further. I still don't have a proper diagnosis so it could be other things but lmaoooo I had some kinda symptoms disorder going on after all.

[technicalknockout]

O SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH FREE ME FROM THIS ACCURSED FLESH PRISON THAT IS MY MORTAL BODY (has fallen victim to menstrual cramps and is slowly losing any trace of coherent thought)

[rossithepixie]

Had cramps so bad tonight my vision fucking doubled and I was fucking shaking?? Got them under control with pain meds and i'm not running a fever so no trip to the er. Will likely call the nurse line about it tomorrow though.

[grunge-mermaid]

I really need pinterest to learn the difference between natural nails and nude acrylic/gel enhancements

[ourceliumnetwork]

it's hard to have a good day like, mentally and emotionally but a bad day physically.

it's REALLY hard to do that twice in a row but we're going to try.

[cuteniarose]

PART 5 of my incorrect quotes shenanigans featuring six of our newest OCs, which I am happy I kept forgetting to post because that means I now get to use them to hopefully brighten up @katkastrofa’s day a little ^–^

[loumauve]

the thing (well, one thing anyway) about chronic pain is how you'll have a day or half a day or even just a few hours that'll get you so close to just fucking wanting to end it all right then and there because you're just so tired of being in pain and it feeling like it'll never end and never get better, and your brain feels like it's on fire and you can't remember the last time you felt even just okay, much less fine or good.

and logically you know it'll probably be alright again in time, but the effort it takes to just make it through that moment is so exhausting that it just leaves you drained.

and it's not like you want to die, you just want the pain and misery to stop, and sometimes it feels like it never will. like you're just stuck on that endlessly-looping train track through hell with no stops to get off, and nothing will help you feel even minutely better at all.

[afniel]

God damn I'm tired and extra dizzy today, which I've figured out some of why that happens. Evidently that's my reaction to overstimulation fatigue. Good to know, explains a lot. No idea what to do about it and I did expect to have some sucky days after going to San Francisco anyway so it's whatever, but it's nice to have figured out a specific trigger.

Except that's cool and all but I almost couldn't fold laundry today because it involved a lot of looking up and down and that was unnecessarily rough. This was after sleeping like 11 hours because my shit-ass tired-ass brain demanded a hard reboot more or less, and I'm still kind of gross today even so. Kind of glad they rescheduled the root canal I was gonna have Tuesday for like two weeks out, because I am probably not gonna be quite recovered for another week at least and dental work fucks me up also so that would have been an Everything Hurty Syndrome 2x Combo.

Bleh. At least when I'm writing chronic illness/disability it's some own voices legit type ass shit, but does it have to be, because I could do without this. My whole me hurts and nothing seems to help and also turning my head too fast will knock me the hell over. Good times. ✌️😔

[lynxgirlpaws]

I have not had a credit card for even 24 hours and my father has already needed to borrow $60 [and owed me $30 beforehand] fml

[tigers1o1]

Sitting in my bubble bath, absolutely fuming bc I’m in pain but ao3 is down so I can’t read about gay people

This is homophobic

[fionarara]

i miss rountine jokes about oikawa's flat ass and mattsun's ostentatiously gargantuan horse cocque (ꃋᴖꃋ)

[lilnasxvevo]

My cats have been fighting a lot more viciously lately and I sure would like to know what’s wrong.

[kradogsrats]

truthfully a little pissed that they hyped up a first look at the panel openly on the internet like 2 weeks before (a point where it would be next to physically impossible to gain entry) and we plebs aren't getting it until whenever Netflix feels like doing their shitty song-and-dance

iirc when they screened s4e1 at SDCC or wherever it was, it was a total surprise to everyone in the room that there was any footage being shown, not "tee hee come to our panel to see the opening of the season"