#whys everything is suddenly so annoying???? What does that have to do with bleeding????????

[technicalknockout]

O SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH FREE ME FROM THIS ACCURSED FLESH PRISON THAT IS MY MORTAL BODY (has fallen victim to menstrual cramps and is slowly losing any trace of coherent thought)

[twstfanblog]

*~Period Drama~* Romance Era Octavinelle

|| Heartslabyul || Savanaclaw || Octavinelle || Scarabia || Pomefiore + Ignihyde || Diasomnia ||

It started off as a normal afternoon. You and your boyfriend just laid down for an impromptu nap, cuddled close together and safe in each other's arms. So you can imagine their surprise when they wake up to find the bed spotted with blood. Pulling the blankets back, they see the blood coming from you...

FIRST REACTION

Azul

Woke up confused. Couldn't find out what he was smelling that was distressing him so much. Then he realized he was smelling blood, and then he realized the blood was coming from YOU.

Woke you up softly panicking, telling you that you had to get up and come with him to the infirmary.

The cramps kick in while he's trying to get you up and OW. It only makes him start panicking more.

He's on the phone with the Tweels when you manage to wake up enough to tell Azul everything is fine. He does NOT believe you and tells the twins that you're suffering blood loss.

By the time the Tweels showed up, you've started explaining to Azul what a period is and he is HORRIFIED.

Jade

Snapped awake the second you bled through your bottoms. Bro was dreaming of the woods and then suddenly he's in red waters.

Woke you up because he was trying to figure out where you were bleeding from. Poor eel is trying to check for a stab wound and is just confused about the location the blood seems to be coming from.

You better savor this, Jade is only going to be flustered and openly concerned until you manage to explain to him what a period is.

Because once you do tell him he is FASCINATED. Big ole smile while he starts to massage your back and asking you to tell him more.

He will be running experiments, best of luck to you.

Floyd

Woke you up by flipping you. Just full-on gripped you by the hips and yanked. Boy woke up smelling blood and pinpointed where it was coming from in two nanoseconds.

Because of the blood, he woke up fucked up, now he's pissed you're bleeding. Not sure if he's more pissed about the fact he doesn't know why you're bleeding or that someone potentially came in to hurt you, and they got past him.

Either way, you got a grumpy clingy eel wrapping around your whole body.

Once you fully wake up and realize what's happening, explain it to him. It'll take a few tries but then he tells you that's a horrible idea and you shouldn't do it. Bloods suppose to stay inside, shrimpy...

Immediately tried to squeeze the period out of you.

HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY?

Azul

You've never met a man more terrified yet supportive in your life.

He refuses to get too close to you and will send the tweels to deliver any gift or food he has for you. That octo breeding practice of females killing males that annoy them during mating season is screaming at him. It's for his own peace of mind he stays away.

While he won't get too close, he is literally pampering you from a distance. You get a daily delivery of luxury pillows, gourmet chocolates, scent oils, bath bombs, and high-quality heated blankets. He's got the tweels making your every meal if he isn't the one doing it.

Please text and call him on the phone though. While he's terrified of being close to you, he misses you so fucking much and he wishes he could get over his irrational fear of being eaten by you.

If you have PMS, he is SHAKING. He's fighting for his damn life just to keep you from being pissed at him. Another 'Agrees with you to save his life' kinda man.

Jade

Hm, you don't wanna eat this suspicious mushroom that's been chopped into your food? Are you sure? Just try a bite, you might like it.

Jade is supportive, but he's also JADE. Two parts a loving partner, one part the most annoying piece of shit this side of the coastline.

He's been trying since day one to get you to eat mushrooms with paralyzing and hallucinogenic properties under the guise 'They'll be helpful'. While feeling completely numb for hours on end WOULD help the cramps, you're not too sure how tripping balls is gonna do you any favors.

Teasing butler style, he temporarily moved into Ramshackle. He will fluff up your pillows, handle the blood-stained laundry, and he will even make you a nonmushroom-filled dinner.

If you cry at ALL during your period he will be stunned lock before jumping into comforting you. He can smell the hormonal difference and so he knows you're a lot more sensitive then normal about his teasing. Lowkey kinda likes it, treats it like a game on what the limit for that day is.

Floyd

This motherfucker might as well be PMSing along with you. Are you sad? Ok then, he's sad now, too; what's the matter, Shrimpy? Happy? Cool! He's in a pretty good mood, too! Pissed off? Well, now he's gotta break somebody's bones. Who are we mad at?

Emotionally, he is on the same vibe as you, and to some it can be ANNOYING, but others find it so nice to have someone to have the same feelings with you in that moment.

The goal of the week is to keep Shrimpy happy. He's getting you snacks, little gifts, lots of cuddling. While he's mad, he can't physically squeeze your period out, the pressure and folding you up during a squeeze does helps the pain.

One of the few boys who really notices the bloating. Loves how you got squishier. While cold isn't as effective, it can still help ease period pains. Enjoy being held in bed lovely like a soft pretzel while cold hands are pressed right on your lower stomach.

Does his best to seriously support and help you, but is kind of a hardass and gets just as pissy as you do.

AFTER THE FACT

Azul

He survived but at the cost of knowing this was going to happen again...Well, time to prepapre to be the best lover by next month or so HELP HIM-

For how terrified he's been the past week, he starts that GRIND to better understand your period and starts tracking it.

Takes your period as this grand research challenge since periods don't exist in Twist, the only source he has is you and the period itself. It's a race against the clock to gain info on how to better tend to you.

Please just let him hold and kiss you for a few hours too. Being away from you for days on end was not enjoyable. He's also gonna work on his irrational fear of you killing him so that he KISS HIS DAMN DATEMATE.

Has your next period marked down on his personal calendar. But if you're early or late he'll start acting cagey again. He will trick Floyd into asking if you're on your period or getting jade to mind trick it out of you.

Jade

Well, that was terrible, worst week of his life so far, honestly. Hm? Was your period that bad? Now, why do you think he was talking about your period?

Asks coy about the whole event for no reason other than the fact you're concerned about how he feels and managed through the whole thing.

With his smelling skills, he's made way more aware of the various hormonal changes you do over the course of the month leading up to the next period.

So, sorry, but be prepared for little stress tests CONSTANTLY. You made the mistake of telling Jade that a period can change on multiple factors like diet and stress.

He'll do the stress tests but if you really truly hate it he will become sneakier stop doing them as much. He really does want to understand better. Both for his own thirst to understand how you tick and to help out more for the next period.

Floyd

That sucked, but it's over right? You don't need to do it again?...What do you mean it's a monthly thing?

Your period was a really weird time that he's already forgotten like the day after it's over. It was lowkey just another week to him, only he got to be around his shrimpy as an emotional support eel so that was great!

Didn't really do anything to prepare for the next one. He managed to get through the period just fine and was lowkey pretty great at it. He does make the smallest mental note of the stuff he cooked for you that you really liked. He starts experimenting with the recipes and trying to make them even tastier. Just for his shrimpy.

With the super eel-smelling, he does notice the difference in your hormones more now that he's aware of it. He will start sniffing at you whenever you change cycles, he tells you that you ovulating smells like you're in heat.

Constantly forgets about your period until it happens again.

HOW HELPFUL ARE THEY? ♡NSFW♡

Azul

Trying to get Azul to fuck was already a mental battle. The fact he's biologically wired to be very cautious during sex because his partner might kill him? You're gonna have to ask the Tweels to catch him, because you're not.

You gotta debate your ass off just to get him to sit next to you. but once you're able to get him talking, your only choice is to do a contract where you PROMISE you're not going to kill him mid-sex because you got annoyed or hungry.

Once the contract is in place, he's much more willing to help out. Takes it as a challenge honestly. Works to make you cum so hard you pass out (only then will he be safe).

If you're REALLY LUCKY, he'll get into one of the big tubs Octavinelle has to change into his merform. Being much bigger than you really helps his anxiety and fear with the whole act. Plus, his tentacles are...very helpful.

Jade

Remember when I said there were only four people I canon as sucking the period out of you? That was a lie, there are six.

Letting it slip that orgasms help with the cramps was honestly one of the worst things you could have done. He already fucks you like it's torture, winding you up for hours on end before letting you cum only to do it all over again.

Once he knows, he orchestrates you not being able to take any pain relief so that you have to ask him to help. This is for you of course, but it's mostly so he can get a taste.

He's going to tease you the whole time; lots of fingering, massaging, and licking. Your thighs are gonna be raw from all the bites he's giving you while he's down there.

Floyd

Number three on the 'Who'd Suck the Period Out of You' group. Does it with ease, does it with your legs wrapped around his head. Squeeze them harder Shrimpy, he can still breathe, you're terrible at this.

Fucking Floyd is already a dangerous game, you wanna add blood to it??? You're stronger than I am. He's already a wild card in the bed, introducing blood to the mix only ups the possibility of him going insane with his dick inside you.

Another that's about to bite you the fuck up. God speed soldier...

[shaunamilfman]

Dating Ghost!Jackie Headcanons

pairing: Jackie Taylor x r note: I'm not sure what this is either 🤷

Jackie being a pain in your ass beyond the grave. maybe not getting on with her super well while she was alive, so while her death was sad, it wasn’t nearly as emotionally devastating as it was for Shauna or someone else. so when you suddenly start seeing Jackie standing behind Shauna and trying to get her attention as she sobs over Jackie’s corpse, you wonder why you of all people would “hallucinate” her.

she finally notices you can see her when you can’t quite muffle your laugh at some petty comment she makes as the girls start carrying her body off to the meatshed. her eyes immediately narrow in on you while you’re just standing like a deer in the headlights.

just thinking about Shauna out there sobbing and crying in the meatshed with Jackie's corpse while Jackie's screaming in your ear because you won’t respond to her and she knows your ass can see her. at the top of her fucking lungs like a damn toddler. keeps switching into songs that give Crystal and Misty a run for their money on being annoying. holding a pillow over your head and groaning to drown her out, and Lottie’s trying to put a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, thinking it's hunger pain or something.

she doesn’t talk as much as she did before—not that she ever really talked to you all that much to begin with. Jackie stares after Shauna a lot, following her around and trying fruitlessly to get her to hear her. she’s quiet a lot now, but if she’s not at Shauna’s side, she’s at yours. 

you finally give up and start answering her whenever you’re mostly alone, claiming it’s just because you’ve accepted that you’re crazy now—though it’s mostly because she just looks so damn sad all the time. she brightens up a lot after this, following you like a lost puppy as you find the emptiest corners of the room to sit in. the other girls sometimes catch you talking to yourself, but with how everyone else is doing, they don’t bother to be concerned about it.

makes it her mission to annoy you as much as humanly possible, commenting on every little thing you’re doing like she’s a game show host. if you have to listen to Jackie narrate the way you eat one more time, you might just join her. always finds the worst time to jump out at you, giggling as she makes you look insane for screaming in shock in the middle of the cabin.

Jackie knocks stuff over whenever the other girls start talking shit about Shauna’s behavior in the meatshed. she doesn’t talk a lot about what Shauna does there, but she always looks strangely flattered when she comes back.

keeps you up to date on all the little drama’s going on in the cabin that you don’t witness. there’s literally no stopping her from eavesdropping on conversations and giving you a play-by-play as they happen. sometimes you just hear a dramatic gasp as her ghostly ass is skipping over to you to tell you about it.

bullies you into giving some of your food to Shauna. Shauna looks at you like you’re crazy but eagerly accepts it all the same. Jackie is standing there looking so proud of herself, like she’s the one that’s going to be starving and not you.

you have weird dreams almost every night. they aren’t unpleasant, just a little strange. they’re always about Jackie, always in places you think she would’ve enjoyed. walking around the mall, passing the ball around on the field, that sort of thing. you don’t think much of it until Jackie mentions something in passing one day about it.

guilt trips you into doing things for her all the time. “Do you remember that time you let me go outside and die in the snow?” and then “yeah, that’s what I thought.” when you roll your eyes and go do it.

thinking about Jackie’s emotions bleeding over onto you. Jackie’s always felt everything so strongly, and this only seems to get worse after she’s died. you can literally feel her longing so strongly that it’ll wake you up in the middle of the night, just to find Jackie staring at you with the softest little look. you aren’t sure how to feel about it at first, but it’s better than feeling her grief.

who’s going to tell the dead girl she can’t have a little crush after all? besides, it’s not like you’re uninterested: Jackie’s the prettiest girl you’ve ever met. it’s a strange dynamic, but it’s not like either of you have a lot of options out here.

just as possessive, even in death. starts getting incredibly jealous whenever you talk to someone who’s alive. Nat’s asking if you’ve seen her headband and the fucking door slams open against the wall. you weren’t even aware she could do something like that. you can feel her eyes burning a hole into the back of your head as the whole room starts to get cold if anyone goes near you besides Shauna.

she always tries to touch you, but most of the time you can’t feel it. the only time you can is when she gets particularly emotional. a hand closing around your wrist and almost pulling you away when she gets particularly jealous about something, a finger brushing away your tears when you can’t help but cry, etc.

Jackie can’t really do much else, so she resorts to a lot of compliments. she compliments your three layers of random shirts like it was an actual fashion choice, and you finally have to draw the line. just thinking about Jackie complimenting you and then sitting cross-legged in front of you like “and now me,” all expectant.

[pinkisthenewangst]

°`🍨: Kozume Kenma x GN! Reader

°`🍨: Small Hopes

He was bored of you. From the first day your parents introduced you to him, you were simply just boring in his eyes. As if you were black and white. Absolutely no colour that would draw his eyes to your form. You just looked like all the girls that tried to charm him just because he looks cute in their eyes but after he rejected them, he suddenly gets called a jerk. Kenma was totally sure you were one of those.

But you looked at him as if he hung up all the stars for you. As if the world was made for him and he deserved all of it even though all he does is playing his games, play some volleyball and breathe like he is required to do. It was as if you were looking at a statue, build 1000 years ago, but falling in love with the little details that are still there to look at. It pulled your heartstrings when he wrinkles his nose when something annoys him. It made your heart flatter how his hair hangs in his eyes while he is focused on his handheld, that he starts to blow it out of his eyes. But it also hurt so much to see his annoyed face when you open your mouth.

It was not your fault, that you had other hobbies then he did. It was not your fault you were not able to connect to him but why does he make it look like, you did everything wrong from the first time until now? Your parents dragged you to his house after his parents wished to see you. It was Kuroo that wanted you to stay when you walked past them playing volleyball. It was the school system that made you sit in the same classroom as him. But why are you the bad person? You never argued with him. You only did small talk with him if needed. You only looked at him from far away because you both were clearly not friends. But why did your heart decide he is the boy of your dreams?

Seeing him in your dreams is nothing new. Him hugging you softly or smiling at you, with his shy but smug looking smile you sometimes see when he tricked his opponent. Dreaming about a what if situation that will never happen. In the end it was just a stupid crush that made it hard for both of you. Still you needed to let go for his peace of mind and your hurting heart. But why is letting go so hard?

You don't feel giving up because what if he happens to look past his first thoughts. What if he changes his mind? You also don't want to look weak. Weak for giving up a situation that could change. You still have one whole year until your paths will very probably part away. Even if the chance is so small you would need to zoom in on a phone, you would try to grab it with both of your bare hands. Everything that might change something even if it's just you both talking like normal classmates. What the most stupid thing is, is problem you're trying to do all of it on your own. Everything Kuroo tries to catch you and trap you in a situation with his teammate, you always find a way to escape. When the second years somehow nudge you in his direction, you always dodge Kenma before you both collided.

It was hard but one day it might change something. This was your hope and dream. Even if your heart was literally bleeding in your chest, you would just put a band-aid over it while crossing your fingers that it hopefully works out in your favour.

°`🍨: I wanted it to look like a small rant! It's nothing good or life changing but i think it's somehow still bitter sweet :> I might also open my requests for real this time lmao

°`🍨: RESQUESTS ARE ??? (NOT SURE LMAO)

[b0njourbeach]

LeoVil Dynamic Analysis

Their dynamic could be - in my opinion - classified as "enemies and lovers". Mutual annoyance with the tendency to insult the ever-living rainbow out of their asses. They're besties, they're exes, they hooked up at some point.

Vil can't stop calling Leona pretty, visibly annoyed by his beauty (relatable). But both of them are known to have the habit of keeping up a certain image of themselves: Leona as the rough, "not caring" guy who acts all high and mighty but in reality, he does care - He just doesn't/can't/won't express that he cares (for most likely multiple reasons but that's a different story). And Vil? Well, it's obvious he has to only show his perfect side, no? He cares about people but he expresses it in a way that can and is seen as him forcing everyone to be their perfect selves. Yes, his tips might be unwanted (depending on who it is) but he still looks out for the people he cares about - And it's not a secret that he's nagging Leona every breathing moment if given the opportunity.

But there's something about these specific two that tickles a special part of my brain: Their trauma. Its source is entirely different yet practically carbon copies. Leona, the second born prince who could work as hard as he could possibly do and he'd be still "just" the second born, the shunned, a royal nobody. It is carved in his nature that he will never be first, he'll be never be the best - He's the eternal second place and no work will ever change it. Much more, there is this little person who's practically sunshine as a person - this little person that was the final brick on the wall that would part Leona forever from the first place: Cheka. What's worse is the fact that Cheka is entirely oblivious that he is a problem in Leonas life and his mental health. Cheka wants to be around his Uncle, wants them to play and get along well, unaware of how bothersome he truly is (in Leonas eyes).

And it's the same with Vil. He is not bound by blood to his personal "final brick" but it's just as persistent. Ever since he was a kid, he wouldn't be the last one standing, the number one, the star. He was the Villain, the second one, he belonged in the shadow. A shadow that would cause the "hero" to shine even brighter: Neige. A ray of sunshine, the hero, the number one. It would not matter how much Vil would work on his acting, on himself, on everything - As long as Neige existed, he was nothing more than the shadow.

Having this deep understanding and relations - without having the same source of "bother" - they could support each other like no other could. Sure, people can listen to them (if they'd ever open up to begin with) but it's different, it's more intimate, if the person *knows* the pain. Talking and knowing that the person in front of you bleeds from the very same wounds, it's a special bond.

Now that I explained the base of my sight on this Duo/ship, I would like to introduce my headcanons to this lovely ship because I believe that it makes this ship even better.

When Leona first saw Vil, he mistook him for a girl and treated him with utmost respect (since he has a natural respect for women). It took him several weeks to realize that Vil is indeed a guy. He immediately dropped his manners and became the Leona we know - Much to Vils annoyance because in his eyes, Leona became suddenly an arrogant asshole and refused to elaborate why the sudden shift in attitude happened.

For my next headcanon, I first have to mention an HC I have for/about Vil: I genuinely believe that he has an issue with potions / is addicted to them. We know that he's extremely talented when it comes to brewing potions - Not to mention that his Unique Magic supports his abilities if needed. Being the prominent person he is, he has undoubtedly dealt with extreme stress, probably (extreme) pain, self-doubt and most likely self-hate as well. So if it becomes extremely bad, he would get himself a potion to calm the thoughts and stress, giving him similar experiences to taking drugs. Obviously, he wouldn't want to see others that he even remotely does such measures to get himself in a calmer state, so he genuinely keeps himself hidden in quiet places of the school. Unfortunately, he once thought hiding in the Botanical Garden was a great idea - It was not. A certain feline was - as usual - in the garden and immediately noticed something was off. Not only did he notice the messed up mental state of the "Oh so perfect" Vil Schoenheit but he also smelled the faint scent of some potion. He first wanted to be the usual cocky guy but decided differently. Even with the potion, Vil was in a bad shape and it was quite easy to tell. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the tree, completely fatigued. Leona decided to get him a bottle of water and placed it in silence next to him and leaned against the other side of the tree. They didn't talk, they just sat there. Neither of them would ever talk about this situation but it became a habit of the two of them for a while (until Vil has started to catch Rooks attention more and more).

-> After Vil overblotted, they met again on the tree. It was as if Vil was seeking comfort by the silence of the feline. If there was silence, there would be no judgment, there would not be Betrayal and what he needed most after the competition was a person who gave comfort that he could trust in.

They also have shared custody over Epel, trust me. I know, many see Rook and Vil as Epels "parents" but having Leona and Vil to be his "parents" would make more sense: The strict mom that wants Epel to make use of his potential (which are unfortunately his feminine charms) while Leona is his Sports dad, the "masculinity" Epel admires and wants so badly.

[dancingupontheclouds]

the goddess and the fly

or: a woman that is jealous of the liveliness of a fly.

a/n: please do not steal my work, republish and/or claim as yours. thank you. <3

Darkness surrounds me. It is silent as I breathe it in; let it consume me. My room is messy but it doesn't smell. There is only one thing rotting in my room. I can't bear to look at it. I've broken all the mirrors. There's nothing, yet everything is too much. That is when I notice her. She announces herself with a faint buzz in the background. My neck cracks and hurts as I peel my staring eyes from the ceiling.

Right at the bright gap below the blinds, she crashes stupidly into window again, again, and again. I see her trying. I watch her failing. I witness her sense for survival; the instinct to live and it makes me wonder if an unconscious, dumb, fought-for life is as valuable as my conscious, aching, unwanted one. My jaw tightens. She annoys me. How did she get in her in the first place? It's her fault. She doesn't need to bother me with her struggle.

But she tries again just to bump into glass once more. I could open the window, let her out, set her free, spare her life but she wouldn't know. She wouldn't make me her God. She wouldn't pray for-- to me. So I don't.

My gaze is stuck on her, rapid eyes following her movements and I'm livid. Why won't she just give up, fall to the floor, curl up and die? At what point does an instinct become a will? She becomes slower, her buzzing suddenly a low, soothing sound. My angry heart feels heavy as she lands on the window to rest, the buzzing gone. Good.

One of my fingers reaches out to touch her, slowly. I don't know why. Startled, she takes off with a panicked buzz, crashes into every wall, every corner, every crevice of my room in seconds and I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut because I cannot take it; cannot stand to hear her fighting for her life when it's so insignificant. I roll on my side to face the wall and when I open my eyes again, she is right there. We're eye to eye and the longer I look at her, the more I think I can see her breathing, gasping for life. My eyes shift a little to the left, her right, and the window is there, still closed. As we look at each other, I soften at the sight of the little creature depending on the mercy of the woman in front of her. “I'm sorry”, I whisper. It must have been hell for her. This time, she crawls down the wall, closer to me and I ponder whether it is trust or coincidental. How similar can we be? Maybe we are alike. The little fly stops and tiredly rubs her front legs together to get the dirt off her, free herself from my room, wash me off her. Even in her rough state she gets ready to taste life again, to expand her palette like the greedy, stupid animal she is. We are not the same.

She is a fly and I am a woman. She cannot think which is all I do. She wants to live and I hate her for it.

So naturally, she doesn't expect it when my flat palm hits her fragile body. A loud slap hisses through the room, echoes in my ears, when she bursts beneath my skin.

When I take my hand away, I expect her to fall, except she doesn't. She sticks to the wall in a bloody mush.

Her blood graces my palm, a reminder of life just millimetres above my own veins. Even in death she is more alive than me. The thought of lapping it up to indulge her spirit – make it mine – crosses my mind before my face pulls together in disgust and I wipe the rest of her next to her crushed, bleeding body. Now there's two things rotting in my room and for a second I think of getting up and wiping her away, to cease her existence forever, to flush her down the drain for she is the reminder of my ungodly, jealous soul and I think that maybe breathing it in, consuming all that darkness, I've sucked it out of this room completely and have become it as I turn away to face the ceiling again.

[126simp]

"I Hate You!"

Tarlos Fic for @tarlosweeklyprompts March Daily One-Word Prompt Event!!

March 11th Word: Hate

Tags: Angst, Nightmares, Hurt! Carlos, Worried! TK

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Anxiety,

Relationships: TK/Carlos, TK/Alex (Past Relationship)

Characters: TK, Carlos

“I HATE YOU!!”

The words keep going through my head like they are echoing in my head, over and over. I don’t know what I did to get him to hate me, but please somebody tell me so I can fix it. I love him so much, how am I supposed to handle not having the most important person to me hate me. I feel my eyes blurring even worse when Iris all of a sudden shows up in front of me, saying, “You are to blame for everything. How did I even become your best friend, because your face annoys me.” That doesn’t scare me as much though, because I know that she sometimes talks brutally honest, but why would she say that?

Then it’s like the scene around me changes, and see a gun to my face and try to look at who is behind the gun and see it’s TK standing by a man. I am so confused that I try to say something, but all of a sudden I have no voice, and then I can’t hear anything around as a gun shot goes off. Then I see as TK is dead and bleeding on the floor, ‘What now?’ I love him.

BLOOD

SO MUCH BLOOD

Then the scene around switches again to see TK and Alex kissing, and what am I supposed to do especially when I look around and see that everyone looks so happy.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Suddenly I feel like I am being shaken and think that I hear TK’s voice. “Carlos, Carlos, CARLOS! Please answer me Baby, I am right here.” I startle awake and look around me seeing that I am in our bed. I feel around and realize I am not there alone when I see TK looking at me worried. I smile because he is here with me, not with Alex, hopefully doesn’t hate me, but I am the happiest that he wasn’t that bloody heap of a body on that floor anymore.

At that thought I scan his body to make sure he is okay, that he isn’t hurt at all, and nope I see nothing, but I still have to ask, “You are alive right? You are okay? You are not hurt, right?” He just looks at me confused and I feel like I am going to start crying with all of my built up emotions, but I need him to tell me. I feel like I am suffocating, and when he still doesn’t say anything, I yell out, “ANSWER ME!”

I think we are both startled by the yell, but it does help because TK finally says something, “I am sorry, yes I am okay and no I am not hurt.” I smile, but then he asks the question I have been regretting, “What happened to you? Are you okay? You kept saying my name and then ‘I hate you,’ so do you? Do you hate me? P-please tell me that you don’t.”

I look over his face and want to start crying because of how heartbroken he looks and I start to explain the apparent nightmare to him and he slowly starts cuddling closer and closer to me. No matter how close he gets, I am so happy that he is here with me, and I am with him.

[albatris]

I have a full day tattoo tomorrow, maybe 8 hours, I'm going to get so much rental car writing done on my phone! (lying)

[ghostgirl101]

Dating BEN Drowned Would Be Like This:

A/N: I've suddenly got inspiration to write dating headcanons/imagines for the creepypastas, so… requests are open, I guess (but I won't write smut) 🙃 This is based on the original first arc (The Haunted Cartidge) written by Jadusable, so there's no mention of Moon Children and BEN's still the antagonist and not a victim 😎 I love writing for BEN Drowned... my fave Creepypasta 🙃

🎮• So, you found the Majora's Mask cartridge and started playing it on your N64. Everything about the game is horribly wrong, and there's the Elegy of Emptiness that keeps following you around. Wherever you go, he's following you, even if you don't notice - from the top of buildings, hidden in the shadows, or just straight up in your face. It's unnerving, to say the least. That, and the things he says.

🎮• All too familiar lines like "You shouldn't have done that," and "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" but then there are other odd things on black screen scenes, like "There is beauty in your suffering, but there is so much more," and "You need me more than you'll ever realise..."

🎮• BEN kind of likes toying with you to see what reactions he can get out of you, as he does have quite a sadistic streak in him. But instead of just terrorising you until he gets bored and then going to find another victim, he enjoys just watching you, staring at you with empty, observant eyes. He watches you while you sleep for hours at a time, mesmerised and somewhat confused by what makes you stand out to him. It's not just because you're pretty, it's something much more than looks. It's just... you.

🎮• Hidden inside your computer while you go about your day, or playing with the electrics when he wants to remind you he's there. He's obsessed with the little decisions you make, the way you look, and the idea of you being, well, all his. It's extremely hard to have secrets or privacy, because BEN doesn't believe in that. He can read your expressions easily, or what you might say before you say it, almost as if he's reading your mind. So there's no way to lie to him and get away with it.

🎮• When you go to school or work, you notice that the annoying ones who used to pick on you and all have suddenly gone quiet, only giving you wary, wide-eyed looks every now and then. The next day, there's no sight of them, and a missing person poster is up soon after. You have your suspicions immediately, and go straight onto Cleverbot when you get home:

BEN... Yes, what happened to him? Cut it out. I know you're there. Where? You killed her, didn't you? She didn't deserve that. I want you to stop. Just, please? Stop? Why would I do that? They lost the game. Besides, you're much more important. Why? Because. Because what? I choose you. Don't you feel safe? I don't know. Not really? You will.

🎮• BEN isn't kidding though. You'll never have a lasting incident with someone being horrible or being in a dangerous situation. He's always watching, extremely protective and possessive. You see more of that when he reveals yourself, which is after you'd injured yourself slightly somehow, and after a short struggle of trying to patch yourself up and stop bleeding, the TV glitches, crackles and opens up from the inside like a portal.

🎮• You almost have a heart attack as you can only watch as a boy with deathly pale skin, hollow black eyes and intense red pupils steps out casually, a look of amusement as you grip the chair you're sitting on to try and ground yourself and make some sense of the situation. It fades into huffy annoyance and almost unnoticeable concern as his red gaze flicks to your wound.

🎮• "You shouldn't have done that."

🎮• "Well I-" You don't get much of a chance to say anything, because in less than a second he's right opposite you, making you flinch back in surprise as a cold, glitchy hand takes the supplies out of your own and does an exceptionally good job of wrapping it up. His messy, snowy blonde hair tickles your skin as he looks up, sending chills down your back as his inhumane eyes lock onto yours with a playful, dark smirk.

🎮• "It's rude to stare."

🎮• BEN can be absolutely impossible by the things he says sometimes, and he loves watching you frown in frustration and try to get back at him. Ever since he first appeared in a materialised form to you, he does it more often, and you get used to the unnatural sight of him as he pops out of screens into your home whenever he feels like it, crashing your websites and snickering when you get annoyed because it didn't save some of the work you were doing. But the way he 'has fun with you' isn't all malicious and threatening as it is with the others, it's more playful and teasing. If anyone else does the same, he'll scowl and their phone will give them a harsh electric shock.

🎮• It doesn't matter how much you try to tell BEN you can look out for yourself and he can lighten up a bit when you're around others, he's still going to be watching out for you with a slightly overprotective mindset. In his mind, your 'friends' and those around you aren't as deserving or worthy as you are for pretty much anything. He doesn't pester you with the questions of where you were and who with, since he already knows, but isn't above mentally torturing people who seem like trouble until they go away.

🎮• He can also be kind of clingy, but in his own way. BEN doesn't give you much of a warning when surprisingly strong arms make you slide onto his lap while you're sitting and doing whatever it is you're doing in your room, or fiddles with your hair and examines your body and face like a curious painting. He stares a hell of a lot too, which is another thing to get used to. Hugs are often initiated by you, and he'll never push you away, though he's not that used to it. BEN will grumble under his breath if you cuddle him with a content grin, but you know he's enjoying it really.

🎮• BEN's possessiveness is shown by his like for marking you up, which he does pretty much whenever he gets the chance. He smirks roughishly as you jump at the sudden feeling of cold lips sucking and biting down on highly noticeable places of your skin on your neck and even your arms. If you ask him with those big eyes to do it somewhere that's less noticeable, he'll roll his black and red eyes dramatically, as if you're asking for the impossible, but do as you say anyway.

🎮• You can never just kiss BEN when you leave or something. He'll draw them out into heated makeout sessions that he only stops when you're gripping onto him tightly with shaky breaths, where he'll grin and wink at you before disappearing. Jackass.

🎮• He shows his crazed, obsessive love by getting you whatever things you want or have mentioned by shoving them through random screens' portals to where you are. BEN enjoys playing video games with you too (obviously) where it's entertaining to see you annoyed at him beating you all the time, but then cute when he messes with the game to let you win sometimes. His soft side comes out when you're upset or need comfort in a non-violent way to whoever could have caused it. No words are said, just cool arms around your middle and the thoughtful boy tracing shapes on your skin and enjoying the unfamiliar sense of peace he gets with you in his arms.

🎮• Dating BEN Drowned isn't the easiest relationship to be roped into, since he does have a fair few past experiences that have scarred him emotionally and made him who he is (quite literally). Bit by bit, he'll tell you things, showing you that you're earning his trust, and you can absolutely trust him. Because, for once, he doesn't want to hurt someone. He wants to care for them. It just takes a little getting used to, that's all.

[alyswritings]

Favorite Song

STRANGER THINGS SEASON FOUR SPOILERS

Request: hey! could i request a steve harrington x youngersister!reader? ⚠️SPOILERS⚠️ she is about 15 and steve and the group are all out when they realise that y/n is vecnas next victim? they rush to his house and find her when shes floating up and her bones are snapping but they manage to save her from there? sibling fluff lol. thank you!

Steve Harrington x sister!reader

Summary: Y/N is Vecna's next target.

Warnings: season 4 spoilers, mentions of snapping bones, some swearing, ultra worried and protective big brother steve

a/n: i’m back! thank you so much for the request! hope you all enjoy!!

(gif not mine)

It's the day after Max almost lost her life to Vecna, the group bunking at the Wheeler household. They're all trying to think of how they could possibly defeat Vecna with what little they know and the lack of Eleven and her powers.

Steve lays on the couch in the basement, twirling a pen around in his hand as his mind racks for anything to help.

"Can you stop with the pen?" Dustin sighs.

"What?" Steve mumbles, getting knocked out of his thoughts.

"Stop with the pen flipping. It's annoying." Dustin says.

Steve maintains eye contact as he resumes flipping the pen around. Dustin rolls his eyes, slumping against the back of the chair, his hands digging into his curls.

"Steve, I'm about to kill you." Dustin threatens.

"I have a pen. I could easily stab you in the eye." Steve says.

"Oh, my God." Dustin sighs.

"Would you two shut up?" Lucas intervenes, lightly rolling his eyes.

"I second that question." Robin speaks up.

"Hey, what were the symptoms again?" Steve suddenly asks.

"What?" Nancy asks.

"The symptoms. You know, the ones that were written in the shrink's notebook. The other Vecna victims. What were they?" Steve asks. "Max?"

"Why does it matter?" The redhead questions, only one ear covered with the headphones.

"Just tell me." Steve says.

"Headaches, trouble sleeping, nightmares... nose bleeds. What's so important?" Max asks.

Steve stares at the ground, his eyebrows creasing as his thoughts run a mile a minute. He quickly pieces everything together, eyes widening in realization.

"Shit, shit, shit. No." Steve dashes over to the phone by the stairs.

"What? What is it?" Max asks, the others looking at him in confusion.

"Steve, what is it?" Nancy asks.

"Y/N. She, uh... she started having headaches about five or six days ago. And, uh, and nightmares. And her nose has bled a couple of times." Steve explains, dialing his home phone.

"how do you know she has nightmares?" Lucas asks.

"Cause she wakes me up after them. She isn't able to go back to sleep." Steve says, his tone harsh. He anxiously listens to the line ring, praying for it to be picked up.

"You didn't think to inform her of anything?" Dustin asks.

"I haven't exactly been home the past 48 hours, Henderson." Steve snaps.

"We have walkie talkies! She has a walkie talkie!" Dustin exclaims.

"Okay, relax. This isn't solving anything." Nancy interjects.

The voicemail starts, making Steve hold onto the phone tighter, his fear spiking.

"Fuck." He slams the phone onto the receiver and darts up the stairs two or three at a time. The others quickly rush after him, managing to get into his car before he peels off.

"Steve. Relax. I'm... I'm sure she'll be okay." Nancy tries to comfort.

"Yeah, yeah, no. Just a, you know, just a freakin' other worldly monster possibly going after her... possibly killing her right now." Steve says, his free hand running through his hair continuously. The hand on the steering wheel tightly grips it, his knuckles turning white.

What feels like hours, but is only about ten minutes, Steve pulls up to his house, quickly putting the car in park. He hurries out, running up to the front door, finding it locked.

"Come on." Steve groans. Robin rushes up with the keys and Steve snatches them from her as the others gather around Robin. Steve tries to restrain the shakiness in his hands enough to find the correct key. He finds it and tries to insert the key into the hole, but his hands are too shaky, failing at the simple task.

"Come on, come on." Steve mutters under his breath, internally cursing himself out for not being able to do it. "Damn it!" He exclaims as the keys drop to the ground.

"Here." Max quickly takes the keys and inserts the house key into the hole, quickly unlocking the door.

"Y/N!" Steve hurries inside, looking around for her. "I-- I got her room, you guys check down here." He says, beginning the run upstairs. Dustin is quick behind him, not wanting his friend to be alone. Especially if they are too late to save Y/N.

"Y/N!" Steve calls out, rushing to her bedroom door that's shut. Steve tries to open it to find it locked. "Are you fucking kidding me? Y/N!" Steve pounds on the door, but doesn't receive an answer. "Screw this. She can kill me later."

Steve backs up a few feet.

"Uh, I don't think that's the brightest--" Dustin is cut off by Steve colliding with the door which breaks open, the man freezing at what he finds. "--idea." He finishes.

Dustin walks in, his eyes immediately going to the teenage girl who is floating in the air, her head leaned back to the ceiling.

"No, no, no. Y/N. Y/N!" Steve yells, going over and shaking her arm. "Fuck!"

His yells cause everybody else to come upstairs, them all freezing at the same situation Max was in merely 24 hours ago.

"Steve!" Dustin shouts, managing to get the older one's attention. "What's her favorite song?!"

"Um-- uh-- uh... shit." Steve is aware he knows as Y/N blares her favorite song at least once a week. But his fear overcomes his normal thought process making it harder for him to remember.

"What is it?!" Dustin shouts, getting impatient.

"Uh-- I-- oh! "Love Will Tear Us Apart." Um, uh... Joy Division. Yeah. Yeah, that's it." Dustin finds the drawer full of cassette tapes and pulls it out of the nightstand, dumping all of the tapes onto the bed.

The group of teens shuffle through them until they find the correct one.

"Got it!" Lucas exclaims.

Dustin hands him the Walkman and Lucas quickly manages to put the tape in. Steve yanks the device out of the boy's hands and he stands on the bed. Steve reaches out, just able to reach Y/N and put the headphones over her ears.

Steve hits the play button, the music starting to play. He hooks the Walkman onto her pants, jumping off the bed.

"Y/N? Y/N!" Steve shouts. "Y/N!"

Everybody else calls out her name, trying to get her to wake up, hoping it could help somehow.

Steve tightly grips onto his sister's left hand, feeling her skin start to grow colder than usual.

"Hey, hey! Come on, Y/N/N! Stay with me!" Steve screams, shaking her arm a bit. "Wake up!"

Y/N's right ankle starts to bend backward.

"Steve." Dustin mutters. Steve looks at him before following his gaze to Y/N's ankle just in time to see it snap. Everybody grimaces, turning away.

"No. No, no. Come on, Y/N! Fight this!" Steve yells. "Fight him! Fight it!"

After a few moments, a sharp inhale comes from Y/N before her body falls to the floor. Before she can land on the carpet, Steve has his arms around her waist, breaking her fall.

Y/N is hyperventilating as she looks around, realizing she's in her room and she recognizes the people in her room and they look perfectly normal.

"Hey. Hey." Steve quickly moves to her side, one hand on her back. Y/N turns to the soft voice, still panicking, tears streaming down her face. Though she feels safe when she realizes it's her older brother. "Hey, hey. You're okay now. I'm right here."

Y/N breaks into sobs and she leans into Steve, hiding her face in his collarbone. Steve wraps an arm around her, one hand cradling her head to him and the other rubbing her back.

Y/N tightly clutches onto Steve's shirt like it's a lifeline.

"Shhh. Shhh. It's okay. I got you." Steve comforts, talking softly, but still loud enough for her to hear him over her sobs. "I've got you. I'm right here. It's all right." He rocks them back and forth, pushing more tears back. He rapidly blinks to rid himself the tears, though a few do manage to escape.

"It's okay." Steve reassures.

- - -

Steve made Y/N keep her headphones on for at least an hour while they got her to the hospital to get her ankle treated. They spent a good couple of hours there before going back to the Wheelers' house.

Y/N looks between each group member from where she sits on the couch, settled into Steve's side, a headphone on one ear, her favorite song playing.

"So... there's a new Upside Down monster... and he's kind of basically Freddy Krueger. Except we don't have to be asleep." Y/N says.

"Pretty much, yeah." Dustin nods.

"And it killed Chrissy and Fred and almost killed Max? And me." Y/N says.

"Exactly." Lucas nods.

"God, can't we just have one normal year? Is that too much to fucking ask for?" Y/N questions, frowning and slouching down.

"We'll, uh... leave you two alone." Nancy says. She notices the look in Steve's eyes and knows even though that Y/N is currently okay, he needs to make sure she is and verbally be there for her just as much as he is without words. Though he isn't about to express emotion in front of everybody.

"Why are we leaving them alone?" Dustin asks as Lucas and Max head upstairs.

"We shouldn't be crowding her." Nancy states.

"But Steve is literally right next to her." Dustin argues.

"Well, one person isn't crowding her. Six is." Nancy retorts.

"We're down to four now. Two just left." Dustin says.

"Go." Nancy demands, pointing upstairs.

"Just go, Dustin." Robin rolls her eyes.

"I don't see the huge deal." Dustin objects.

"I will smack you over the head. Go." Robin says, shoving him towards the stairs. Dustin continues to complain as he walks upstairs, followed by the two girls, Nancy shutting the door after they reach the top.

Steve gently drums his fingers on Y/N's arm, thinking of how to start talking.

"You, um... you okay?" Steve asks, wincing at the stupid question. Y/N looks at him and he cluelessly shrugs.

"Physically... been better, but I'll live. I've had a broken bone before. Mentally? Been much better... I might live. Or with new information, I might die." Y/N says.

"We'll figure it out. Okay? None of us -- me especially -- are going to let this fucker take you or Max away. We will figure something out and you two will be okay." Steve states. Y/N manages a fake smile which Steve can very easily see right through.

"Why didn't you tell me about it?" Y/N asks.

"I mean, sort of just found out. Been a busy couple of days. Either way, I don't want you involved in this shit." Steve says.

"I'm sorry. Who was involved in it first?" Y/N asks. "My friend went missing. I've been in this longer than you."

"Yeah, by like, a few days or something." Steve argues.

"It's still longer." Y/N argues.

"Well, I'm older. You have to listen to me." Steve says.

"No, not really. I don't." Y/N objects.

"I am an adult. You are a kid. You listen to me." Steve says.

"God, what are you, dad? Shut up." Y/N rolls her eyes.

Y/N starts to drum her hair tie with her thumb, a nervous habit she has, which Steve notices it.

"You, uh... you wanna talk about it? The experience? Or whatever you saw?" Steve asks.

"No." Y/N answers after a few moments. "No, I... I don't think I can."

"Okay. That's okay." Steve assures. He tightens his hold on her comfortingly, holding her a bit closer. "Can I ask one question, though?"

"What?" Y/N sighs.

"Is the music really what helped? Like... nothing else?" Steve asks.

"Well... the music... I don't know, it... it helped, I guess. I mean, I started hearing it and I wasn't as super terrified as I had been. I-- I mean, I was, but... I don't. But a... some sort of portal opened and--and I saw you guys in my room and all yelling my name and trying to wake me up. And you were holding my hand and... and, I don't know. I just started thinking of everybody."

"What do you mean?" Steve asks.

"Just memories with people. With Max and-and El and the boys... Robin, you. Hell, even Erica and Nancy." Y/N says.

"Erica?" Steve asks.

"Yep." Y/N nods. "Yeah, it confuses me, too, kind of. But we did sneak into a Russian base together, so." Y/N says.

"Yeah, true." Steve mumbles. "Is that what helped you wake up?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just... I thought of wanting to live... and-and keep being with you guys. Can't do that if I'm dead. Most of the memories were you, though."

"Really?" Steve asks.

"Yeah. Just simple things, honestly. All those nights of building forts and watching movies. You giving me my first sip of beer. Letting me wake you up after I have nightmares. You always taking care of me since mom and dad are always working and stuff."

"Mmm. Yeah. Guess I've been a babysitter since I was, like, five, huh?" Steve asks, messing with some strands of her hair.

"You're a pretty damn good babysitter." Y/N says, a small smile on her face.

"I know. It's why I keep getting elected." Steve grumbles.

"You may act like you hate it, but it's fun. And besides, you know you care about all of us." Y/N says.

"Yeah, whatever." Steve mutters, Y/N quietly laughing as her brother pretends to not be as caring as he actually is.

"Thank you... for getting home in time." Y/N says.

"You don't have to thank me. It's my job to protect you, right? I refuse to lose that job." Steve says.

"You're a pretty damn good brother, too." Y/N comments.

"Thanks. I guess you're a good sister." Steve teases. Y/N smacks him and he laughs. "You're a pretty damn good sister."

"Thank you." Y/N says through a yawn.

"You can go to sleep. I'll stay right here. Just keep at least one of the headphones on." Steve says.

"Okay." Y/N mumbles, lying down on the couch. She puts a pillow on Steve's lap and puts her head on the pillow, her feet resting next to the couch arm.

Y/N keeps one headphone over her ear, the song playing on repeat for the thousandth time. Steve plays with her hair, helping her fall asleep.

Taglist: @glxwingrxse @venomsvl @peyton-14

[sixeyesgojo]

jjk characters handling your period

Summary: “What do you mean, no baby this month either? Okay, suffer then.” - your damn uterus

Pairings: Gojo/Megumi/Nanami/Naoya/Toji x Reader

Content warning: the monthly bloody nightmare your uterus puts you through and the whole shebang that comes with it, language warning, suggestive themes, explicit warning for Toji (you’ll see why)

A/N: purely self-indulgent because I suffer. @megumifushi and @sukirichi , my gals, I gotcha. Also dedicated to all readers who suffer from the same fate (may it be right now or not). Also: Yes, absolutely open the video I linked in Megumi’s part (it’s safe, I promise).

Gojo Satoru

You turn and turn in bed uncomfortably. Something isn’t right, you think and it’s not the fact that Satoru is missing next to you. Not knowing immediately irritates you. All of a sudden you become painfully aware of your lower region. Yes, of course it had to be that time of the month. You just knew you already stained your panties and perhaps the sheets haven’t been spared either. Getting out of bed, then realizing it was already past noon, you sprinted to the bathroom. Fuck, moving fast was not a good idea. 

Having changed the sheets and your stained panties, you made your way to the kitchen. Your stomach growled, signaling you were hungry, but at the same time you feared. Smelling food, let alone tasting too much of it, was a slippery slope – either your nose would protest or your stomach, no in-between. Regardless, you had to eat; or were you supposed to starve to death because of this? Not in this lifetime. “I AM BACK!” an annoyingly loud voice rang through the apartment. You groan and turn around. “Fuck off, Satoru,” you say. Your irritation flaring up for seemingly no reason. “Stop being so motherfucking loud. My head feels like it’s going to split in two and my pussy is fighting the crimson war right now,” you snarled at him.

“Oh honey, seems like I called the right shots then,” he declared proudly and held up a bag filled with... snacks? “I already called in sick for you for the next few days,” Satoru continued to explain as he wrapped his arms around you, “and I’ll be by your side 24/7 for the next two days. We’ll do fun stuff. How does movie night with lots of cuddling for tonight sound?”

“Why are you so nice to me right now?” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. “Simple: I don’t want to be castrated by you,” he whispered back and planted a kiss on your cheek. “Fair enough. What will we do tomorrow?” He stayed silent but pulled out a black card out of his sleeve. You gasped.

Fushiguro Megumi

Ping. A notification. Quickly, you scrambled to get your phone to see what that was about. You desperately needed some distraction right now. The pain was too much. Your boyfriend Megumi had gone somewhere you didn’t know. All you knew was that your boobs were sore, the sensitive nipples rubbing against the fabric were already too much. In addition to that, you also experienced period cramps, resulting in back pain as well. Life was not easy at the moment but at least you could lay in bed for today, doing absolutely nothing.

Unlocking your phone, you saw a new message from Yuji: “omg look at this???” [Video link] It was a video of 42 seconds. There was a cute seal – probably the cutest and fluffiest seal you have ever seen – and background music. It may have only lasted 42 seconds but it definitely triggered some happy feelings inside you; it was so pure and you loved the energy of the clip. Perhaps these feelings were a bit too intense and overwhelming. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing uncontrollably. Why were you like this? It wasn’t even a sad video, was it?

You buried your face in the blankets, weeping as if someone just broke up with you. Through your loud crying, you did not notice the door opening. A jangling noise could be heard from your nightstand. Instantly, you shot up to check for intruders but luckily, it was Megumi. A frown spread on his face. “What happened?” he asked as his thumbs wiped your tears from your cheeks. You showed him the video, still sobbing, “Look at the seal... It’s so c-cute. I just... got emotional because it really t-traveled the world. This cutie deserves the whole world...”

“And so do you,” he bluntly stated, “now take the ibuprofen I brought you for the cramps and rest up.” As a matter of fact, he not only brought you painkillers but a hot water bottle and food as well.

Nanami Kento

“No, give me that. Lay down and rest. I can dust off the shelves on my own,” his deep voice commanded. If there was a man that screamed “male wife” it was definitely Nanami Kento, particularly when it came to you being on your period. You weren’t allowed to do anything in the house, except for very light chores. With good reason. “Kento, I can do–” Yeah, no, it wasn’t possible and Kento knew it too well.

You weren’t lucky when it came to period symptoms. Besides excruciating back pain, extremely sore breasts and headaches, you also had the luck to suffer from dizziness every single time you experienced the monthly nuisance. The first time you even passed out. In fact, it had happened several times. And that was precisely how Kento decided to not let you do anything. Still, you felt bad to leave everything to Kento. His work already demanded so much from him and here you were, being babied and even spoon-fed. You didn’t even have to cook your own meals or wash and iron laundry.

You had barely said those words when the unwelcome whirling sensation took you over again. Your feet wobbled, you were in danger of crashing to the ground. In a flash, Kento was by your side to steady you. “I told you not to overdo it.” He cupped your cheek with his warm hand. “Sorry, Kento. I’ll... just rest for a minute.”

Zenin Naoya

Period pain? Laughable. Naoya thought it was pathetic. A woman – these already weak creatures – having period symptoms was a mystery to him. What could possibly hurt about bleeding a little? He couldn’t understand. Your pitiable and sorry state was only another inconvenience to him. Not that you hindered him in any way – you were obedient enough to be quiet and complain as little as possible – but he absolutely despised seeing that annoying expression of pain on your face every time he had to look at it.

Hell, he didn’t even want to engage in sexual activities with you during that time, even though he had randomly picked up somewhere that it might help. Not that he wanted to help you, it was your problem and yours only, not his. “Stop looking at me with those eyes. It’s disgusting,” he remarked condescendingly as he got dressed for wherever he had to go. “When will you be back?” you croaked out but he totally ignored you.

“Women are so damn weak. It’s so fucking pathetic, I almost want to give you a hug,” Naoya gagged. He was about to leave the room but stopped in his tracks. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of your face that was contorted with pain. In long strides, he made it to one of the cabinets, fished out a tiny box and threw it on the bed. “Tsk, you better get well soon so you can serve me again, dumb bitch.”

Fushiguro Toji (soft)

Work hadn’t been treating him kindly: not yesterday, not today, not ever. Although he was highly capable and never failed to exceed himself, all Toji truly wanted to do was to go home. When he finally made it through the door, he called out, “Am home.” Usually, you would come running to greet him but when nothing but silence greeted him, his hand instantly moved to the cursed creature lingering on his shoulder. It was suspicious. Did enemies manage to find this hideout? Where were you? His hands started sweating.

Stealthily, he approached the kitchen. To his surprise, he saw your form in front of the counter, hunched over in pain. Dropping his offensive stance immediately, he quickly strode over to check on you. “Hey, what are you doing there?” he asked, hesitatingly putting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at him, grimacing with pain, “Oh, Toji. I didn’t realize you were home yet. Sorry, I’m not done cooking dinner yet, I just feel so nauseous, exhausted and my entire back  and shoulders hurt so much. It’s so sore.” “I see.” He nodded, understanding what was happening. Suddenly, he lifted you effortlessly. You squealed, “Toji!! What are you doing?!” “Taking care of you,” he promised. “But dinner!” “Don’t care.”

Making his way to the bedroom, Toji laid down with you on top of him. Something about his warmth already made you feel better but as his large palms rubbed your back in circular motions, you felt as if you were in heaven. Toji’s ministrations soothed the pain so well, you almost let out a moan. Now that the pain didn’t overshadow all the other symptoms anymore, the drowsiness took over. “Toji, ‘m tired,” you mumbled; eyelids fluttering already. “Then sleep. I’ll take care of dinner later,” he whispered. You only hummed in response, already far too gone. Slowly but surely, his steady heartbeat lulled you to sleep. “Sleep tight.”

Taglist: @megumifushi​ @gojos-mochi​ @assbuttbaek​ @bleueluna​ 

[justauthoring]

Precious To Us [2]

In other words, you’re Seijoh’s manager.

This chapter, Oikawa’s fangirls.

A/N: Here it is! The second part! I had one person request an idea (thanks @minigranger) and I definitely plan on writing it soon but I love the trope of manager vs. fangirls that I can’t help myself. As usual, please send in ideas :)

Listen, Oikawa’s fangirls are mean.

They just are.

It doesn’t really matter to them that you’re a first year, if they’re supposed to be your seniors, they would probably still be bitches even if you were their seniors and in second/third year.

They seem to think Oikawa’s theirs, even though, of course, he isn’t and if asked, he definitely would deny.

And they see you as a threat.

A big, big threat.

Who gets to see Oikawa everyday? You. Who gets to see him practice every day? You. Who gets a front row to seat to every one of his games? You. And who does he flirt with? You.

It doesn’t matter if you reciprocate the flirting or not -- which of course, you don’t -- they’re jealous and they blame it all on you.

Honestly, the first month of managing is fine. 

Now that you know who Oikawa is and you’re around him more, you do notice the fangirls, but they don’t really bother you and you’re too focused trying to learn the ropes to really care about their constant presence. 

You know you’ve heard some of the other members, namely the third years, complain about them.

About how annoying and distracting they were when it came to practice, or just the mere fact that Oikawa seemed to revel in the attention and love.

You’ve heard them, but you don’t really say anything otherwise because they’ve never done anything to you so you don’t really care either or.

Besides, even if you do think it’s tad bit pathetic, you can’t deny they’re devoted and you guess, in some ways... good for them?

But when you don’t stop being manager, and the rest of the team, namely Oikawa, don’t get sick of you like they all expect them to, and a month passes and you seem to just be thriving, getting a long with everyone, and finally getting the hang of everything?

That’s when they attack.

You’re already late.

And even if you know none of the boys or even the coaches will be upset with you, you do like to be punctual and you absolutely hate being late. So, you’re rushing, practically sprinting through the halls as you try to gather your bearings and organize everything you need to.

You’re already thinking of what drills Oikawa will have the team do, and what you can do to help. Maybe you could bring up some of the notes you’ve made? You’re not a hundred percent on the terms, but Iwaizumi has been helping you, and you’re sure you’ve picked up on a few of the techniques and things you think the boys could improve on.

You didn’t want them to think you’re imposing, but this was the job of the manager wasn’t it? They always reminded you you were more then just a water girl, and that they greatly appreciated anything advice you had for them from an outsider point of view, so maybe--

Landing with a loud thud, a groan leaves your lips as you feel your chin smack against the concrete floor beneath you. It takes you a second to gather your bearings, baffled at how you were suddenly on the ground, and trying to ignore the pain at having bitten your own tongue. But the second you hear laughter, you realized exactly what had happened and your head turns around to stare at the three girls stood above you in bafflement.

They’re laughing at you, quite loudly and obvious mocking you, but your eyes narrow in bafflement when you realize you’re positive you’ve seen them before. You just can’t place your thumb on it. They’re not in your class, one of them doesn’t even seem to be in your year, and you don’t think you’d remember some random face you’d passed in the hall, so--

That’s right. You’ve seen them hanging around Oikawa before, and the one older girl had even snuck into practice one day.

Slowly pushing yourself to your feet, you move to gather your stuff, only for it to be kicked out of your grasp.

“What the--!”

“Listen.”

You blink when the older one, clearly the leader or whatever, is suddenly directly before you, barely a breaths away, glaring down at you.

“You need to quit being manager for Oikawa-san’s volleyball team.”

And your eyes widen, baffled, lips parting as you shake your head; “I don’t--”

“I think you perfectly understand,” the girl behind her sneers, eyes cold.

“We don’t like how close you were with Oikawa-san.”

“And we’re sure Oikawa-san’s sick of seeing your ugly face every day.”

You’re stunned silent. Honestly, you’re not really sure what to say.

“We’ll give you till the end of the week,” the head girl smiles, but it’s a sickly sweet, filling you with dread. “Okay?”

She doesn’t wait for you to respond before her and the other two are walking off, clearly proud of themselves if they way they walk and hold themselves is anything to go by.

It’s takes you five minutes to gather yourself before you start making your way to the gym again for practice.

Part of you wants to just skip and go home but you know the boys would be concerned, more then they probably already are given how late you are, and really, it would just cause more issues in the end anyways.

Besides, you’re never one to skip anyways.

You don’t cry. You’re not really sure why because you definitely want to, but the tears never come and then you’re suddenly in the gym and everyone's rushing towards you in concern, questions leaving their lips rapidly as to why you were so late.

You brush them off, and it almost works, before Iwaizumi takes notice of the dried blood on the corner of your lip that you’d regrettably missed when cleaning yourself up earlier and the scrape underneath your chin.

“What happened to your chin, Y/N? You’re bleeding.”

He steps towards you, but you brush him off.

“I just tripped is all. Bit my tongue.”

You smile and hope it’s enough to convince them, but even if Iwaizumi looks like he wants to argue, Oikawa’s already pulling him back onto the court.

“You’re so clumsy, Y/N-chan! You really do need to be more careful!”

Some of the boys laugh and you do too, forcing yourself to pretend like everything’s fine even though you can physically feel yourself shaking.

But even as he’s being dragged away, Iwaizumi is still eyeing you and you don’t let him grow anymore suspicious then you can tell he is. You send him a soft smile, and then turn, making your way over to the coach to see where you can help for the day.

And it continues on like that for week. 

By the next day, every seems to have forgotten you being late and only Makki makes a teasing comment about the cat themed bandaid on your chin to which you begrudgingly shove him away with a shrill “it’s the only ones we have!” and you seem more like yourself then you had the day before that by the second day, even Iwaizumi has relaxed.

By the end of the week, even he seems to have forgotten about it.

But you haven’t. 

And it being the end of the week has you scared.

Kindaichi seems to notice your weird behaviour in class, especially now that the two of you tend to stick together now that you’re acquainted. But you brush him off every time he asks, saying you just felt ill.

He seems to believe it fine.

Luckily for you, nothing happens.

You’re on edge all day expecting something to happen, but nothing ever does.

Aiko, the third year and clear ring leader of that little group, never approaches you. In fact, you don’t see her once all day, which that in itself isn’t odd since you’re in different years, but you had expected to see her lackies -- either Makoto, a first year like you, or even Nami, a second year.

But you don’t.

By the final bell, you’re relieved.

It was just a mindless threat. It didn’t mean anything clearly, and they had just been poking fun, and honestly you were fine with that -- so long as you didn’t have to deal with them again.

You’d just have to be more wary of the fangirls. Maybe they weren’t as kind as you thought you were, and clearly they thought you posed some kind of threat (even though you definitely didn’t) so you’d just keep it in mind and--

“I’m pretty sure we told you by the end of the week.”

It’s a harsh thud, you don’t fall to the ground like you did last time, but you do thud against the lockers which dig painfully into your back. And regrettably you let a small cry in response, which pales in comparison to the cry of pain that leaves your lips when one of them grab a chunk of your hair and tug, hard.

Pushing at the hands that grab at you, you spin, not surprise to see the same three as before, sneering down at you.

Aiko spits down at you. “Clearly you didn’t listen.”

“I’m not gonna just quit,” you whisper, feigning the confidence to speak up for yourself. Your eyes narrow up at her, even though your heart is racing madly against you chest, and shake your head adamantly. “I love managing the volleyball team, and it’s not even because of Oikawa-senpai! I love being will all the boys, and I won’t let you--!”

“You really are just a slut.”

You’re stunned silent, lips left parted.

“Listen, I gave you a week, you didn’t listen.” Aiko scoffs, shaking her head as she brushes her hair back, glaring down at you. “I’ll show you what happens when I don’t get my way.”

She strikes you hard, across the cheek, and naively, you think that’s it. You can handle some punches and kicks, because you really don’t want to give up the one thing that’s made you happy for the first time in a long time. Even as the hits continue, and your body starts to ache, you think,

I can handle this.

But still, you end up skipping practice that day. You blame it on the fact the fact that you just didn’t want to have to explain why you looked so battered and messed up, knowing this time no amount of lying was going to get you out of this one. Because, really, it wouldn’t just be Iwaizumi suspicious this time -- all the boys will be, and then they’ll probably talk to the coach and...

and, it’s just to much a fuss for you. So, you skip, sending a text to Oikawa explaining that you weren’t feeling well and you’d be back Monday and to please apologize on the coaches behalf for you.

But you don’t go back the next day.

When you open your locker the next Monday, your homework that you’d finished during lunch to previous day to get a head start is ruined. Completely and wholeheartedly ruined.

And when you glance around, the first thing you see is Makoto from across the hallway, smirking at you.

But you don’t have any proof.

So, you suck back the tears that threaten to fall, and sulk to your first class where you know the teacher will be less then pleased.

And of course she isn’t, but she simply sighs and tells you that if you don’t have it in by tomorrow, she’ll have to give you a failing grade. 

Embarrassed and upset, you walk to your seat, ignoring Kindaichi’s watchful gaze as you sink into your seat.

But it only gets worse from there.

The second class starts, a note is tossed onto your desk.

You eye, confused, glancing around for who threw it, only for everyone to be faced forward, before glancing briefly at Kindaichi’s whose watching your curiously.

Slowly, you open it.

Is it true you actually slept with all of the volleyball team?

Laughter echoes, but when you look up, there’s three girls staring at you, all mockingly.

Kindaichi leans forward, trying to grab the note but you pull it from his grasp, avoiding his gaze.

He cannot see that.

And when the class ends, you narrowly avoid Kindaichi who calls for you, rushing out of the class, only for someone to bump into you the second you make it out, shoving harshly into your shoulder.

“Slut.” The voice sneers.

Your lips part, and you glance up, feeling your vision blur, but when you glance around, you suddenly notice the looks everyone’s giving you, and the way they laugh and sneer at you.

But what really makes you break is when you turn, feeling like everyone’s against you, and find Kindaichi staring at you with parted lips, obviously confused, and you just can’t hold it back then, turning without another word, and running off.

The day continues like that, and after lunch, which you spent alone hidden in a bathroom stall, you see Iwaizumi and Oikawa ahead of you, smiling when they notice you.

They look as if they want to talk, but you know then you absolutely cannot like that happen, for multiple reasons, so you turn around quickly, running off in the opposite direction despite the way they call after you.

You don’t go back to practice like you said you would.

And neither do you Tuesday.

When Wednesday rolls around, and every laughs at you when you walk pass them in the halls, or sneers at you, or looks at you like you’re the most disgusting thing, you go to the office when you realize you can’t handle this any longer.

No matter how much you love being on the team and managing the boys. 

Little do you know, in class, Kindaichi notices the odd coloured paper in your hands and curiously, maybe even worriedly (because there’s a sinking feeling in his gut) peers over your shoulder as subtle as he can, lips parting when he reads the header.

Permission to quite a club form.

“I think Y/N’s going to quite the team.”

It’s the first words he says when he enters the club room that day, and it makes everybody pause.

Silence echoes, and slowly, unsurely, Yahaba shakes his head; “what-what are you talking about, Kindaichi? I thought Y/N said she just wasn’t feeling well, which is why--”

“I saw the form this morning,” Kindaichi shakes his head, “I know what I read.”

Oikawa shakes his head. “Y/N would’ve talked to us first if something was upsetting her. She wouldn’t just--”

“Haven’t you guys heard the rumours going around?”

It’s Kunimi who speaks this time, his voice the similar drawl it always is, but if you look at him close enough, it’s easy to tell that he’s concerned. Upset even. And he looks disgusted as he speaks, eyeing Kindaichi first, almost knowingly, before turning to the other boys.

Iwaizumi’s brows furrow; “what are you talk--”

“I think someone’s been bullying her,” Kindaichi frowns. “It started at the beginning of the week. Y/N came in with her homework ruined, which I thought was weird, because she always is so careful with her work and makes sure it’s done early. And then someone tossed this note onto her desk but she wouldn’t let me read it, and she wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me all class. Then, when class was over, people were... well--”

“There’s a rumour going around that’s she’s slept with all of us.”

It’s Kunimi who finishes it, Kindaichi’s face beet red, which quite a few of the boys mimic seconds later when Kunimi finishes.

But Oikawa? Oikawa just looks pissed.

“What?”

Kindaichi blanches, looking absolutely terrified; “I thought you knew! I didn’t--”

Oikawa storms past him, Iwaizumi quick to follow, and then Mattsun and Makki are right behind them. The first and second years glance at each other, before slowly following them, and sure enough the third years are heading straight for the gym, to which none of them are surprised to find you there, a form in your shaky hands as you stare at Coach Mizoguchi.

You turn to them with wide eyes, clearly having hoped to finish before any of the boys started practice. But Mizoguchi looks relieved. “Thank God you boys are here,” he breathes, standing up to which you try to stop him, but he isn’t listening, “Y/N wants to quit, but I really think she should talk to you first,” he’s looking directly at Oikawa, “she won’t tell me why. And please Y/N,” he turns to you, “I think you should reconsider.”

“We’ll talk to her,” Oikawa cuts in, voice oddly low before you can say anything.

Mizoguchi smiles, nodding at you before making his way over the gym obviously in search of Irihata. Instantly the tension thickens when you’re left alone with all eyes directly and solely on you.

It takes a second to find the words. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to any of you about it, but I...” And your voice falters, even you can’t help the way your voice quivers. “I think it’s best if I just quit.”

“You’re not quitting.” It’s Iwaizumi who speaks this time, and his voice is so firm, so sure, even if you’re not sure how to argue against it.

“But I-I--”

“You don’t need to quite,” Oikawa shakes his head, stepping towards you and pulling the form from your grasp with ease. You watch with parted lips as he simply rips it right in front of you, tossing it aside without much care, before glancing back at the rest, namely the other third years, turning back to you. “Now, tell us, who told you you had to quit?”

And your eyes bulge. How did he--

“Kindaichi and Kunimi told us about everything,” Iwaizumi starts, moving towards you, as your eyes fall to the first years, watching the way they both, even Kunimi, stare after you in concern. “We know someone’s been bothering you, so, just tell us.”

“We’ll help you,” Watari adds with a smile, hesitantly speaking up.

And you pause, unsure. But then you stare at them all watching you carefully, and see how all of them care so much, more then you ever thought they did and you’re reminded of why you’d refused to quit in the first place. Reminded of how much you love managing the volleyball team and no matter how much you were scared and hurt, you didn’t want to lose it all.

Lose them.

“It’s... It’s a few, three actually, of Oikawa-senpai’s fangirls,” you mumble, voice low, head turned downwards. “They... They don’t like how much time I spend with him, so they... they told me to quit and when I refused, they...” You don’t need to finish.

There’s a pause, before a slap echoes. 

“Somehow I knew this was your fault, Shittykawa.”

“Ow!” Oikawa cries, “Iwa-chan, it’s not like I...” But he seems to pause, lips parting as he glances down at you, his heart breaking slightly at the tears in your eyes.

Stepping forward, he pulls you into a hug, and you let him; “I’m sorry, Y/N-chan, I didn’t know they were hurting you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It kinda is,” Mattsun comments, stepping forward as he smiles down at you, ruffling your hair. “It’s easier to blame him anyways.”

“I agree,” Makki laughs.

And even you find yourself laughing lightly.

“Really, Y/N-chan? Even you too?”

“Sorry.”

Then, everyone turns serious; “I’ll talk to them,” Oikawa frowns. “What they did isn’t okay. I won’t let them get away with it. They’ll never bother you again, Y/N.”

And you’re surprised by how serious he is.

But things do get better.

Aiko never bothers you again, nor does any other one of Oikawa’s fangirls.

Oikawa even makes her apologize, and even you have to admit the absolute mortification on her face makes everything a lot better.

The boys try to stop the rumour, but it’s easier said then done, though, the fame of it all does dwindle and you’re not snided in the hallways so much anymore.

It’s kind of hard to when you usually have one of the third years walking you to and from class anyways.

Besides, they’re your friends, and even if everyone else hates you, they don’t.

And that’s all that matters to you.

[fanghunting]

Local Oasis suffering, gets headcanons (menstruation edition so skip if that's not for you)

Chain has a code word with her partner for that time of the month. If she's with another person who has that time, the word goes both ways. For Chain at least, she gets extra cuddly. Please snuggle with her and let her fall asleep on your shoulder. She prefers to drink sweet things like chocolate milk or milkshakes over eat cake or cookies. She gets pretty bad cramps and sometimes lays down (while diffused) with a heat pad in the office.

(Gilbert has heat pads in the office in a cabinet in the bathroom for the ladies. As well as spares of other menstrual needs in case any of them run out.)

KK gets really picky about texture during hers. She tries to keep her temper flares down but some days it's a hairpin trigger. She makes up for it as soon as it's over every time, often with homemade cake and ice cream for her boys. She has a few pieces of hard candy like Merry Ranchers to curb the cravings, sometimes Starboosts if she's in a hurry. She is extra irritable with Steven and he just avoids her if he can. She has kicked him in the groin for annoying her during the week.

Aligula is EVEN MORE HAIRTRIGGER. Deldro has no idea how he dealt with it so well, it was probably all the candy he stole bought for her. She's bad enough when she's not on her period but she is the quintessential explosive chocolate craving she-devil. Except that she can be quelled with cuddles too. Especially cradling around her under a blanket. She cries a lot easier too.

Leo is a dream partner during this time. He checks in every morning to help remind you, and makes an extra sweet tea or coffee for the morning. Or hot chocolate if you prefer. On the first day, he will make you a cake. It might not be great, but he wants to make sure you hsve access to something sweet. Sometimes it's brownies or cookies. Once is was accidentally... cookie. One giant cookie.

Honestly it makes Zapp uncomfortable. He knows it's natural and knows why it happens. But he thinks it's because it's you and your blood that it squicks him out (hes 96% sure). He'll buy you pads or tampons and make sure to get you sweets but he really cannot be around much. Once it's over he is extra affectionate to apologize though. And he does do all the chores at home during, so at least there's that.

Steven is FINE as long as he doesn't touch it. Cleaning it off things, fine. Knowing you're going through it, fine. Getting it on him? Oh no. No no no. Squicks him RIGHT OUT. It's awful, he feels sick if he touches it. He loves you and he's horribly sorry it affects him like this, but it will not change. He's lovely in every other aspect though. He just really does everything he can to not touch the blood.

Klaus does not understand why other men are disgusted by the whole concept. He will ask how you prefer it to be handled, if you want him to dote on you or just bring you some treats at the end of the work day. He is not grossed out by it at all, it doesn't phase him one bit.

Zed knows it's natural. He knows you're fine. That does not mean he doesn't freak out when it starts. Every. Single. Month. It's like he forgets about it until it happens and he panics for a moment before realizing that it's fine. You're fine. He tries to help take care of you, he buys you one of those gourmet lollipops every day on his way home after his butterfly show. The only worry he has about it touching him is getting under his scales.

Raju is. Worse. He will not leave you alone. Freaks him RIGHT OUT that you're suddenly bleeding. And from INSIDE??? What happened? Why are you injured? WHO injured you??? Once you explain he's piling you in sweets and demanding you STAY in bed. Or the bathroom. But that's IT. You have no choice, he will dote on you.

[lokisprettygirl]

Love in the time of Uncertainty (Loki x Female Reader)

Chapter 4

Summary : Loki is baffled over how stubborn you could be and you find out what he is hiding in the safe he keeps by his bedside.

Warning : 18+ , Much needed smut, loss of virginity, dirty language, Loco loki, reader is shamelessly based off of my own personality, so a little self indulgence , fic was literally born out of a dream I had of loki, Dom loki

Taglist : @iconfusemyselfalot @msturi2u @the-wounded-healer05 @lokiswildheartcantbebroken @hotleaf-juice @daddylokisqueen @wingedoafkidpsychic @callistoneith

He ran out . That bitch ran out. Honestly you should be used to his unpredictable behaviour by now. You put on his t shirt, you had to, since he ripped yours mercilessly, a cute top destroyed and you didn't even get to have sex, wow his shirt smelled goood though. You stormed out of his room to the living where he was on the couch

"What the fuck loki?" You screamed and he glared at you as he stood up "What the fuck? You are asking Meee? You should be asking yourself that, you do not drop bombs like that when you're halfway in the act, were you even going to tell me? Or wait it was going to be a surprise right, my dick, your cunt and boom suddenly you're bleeding all over my cock, because that's what I need these days, more blood on me" he laughed hysterically and he used over the top hand gestures to enunciate everything he said, is he losing it finally? He looked a little crazy, you should have told him the truth but why is he acting like you killed someone.

"Okay that would have been awful and I was going to tell you but the way you're behaving right now is not how I expected you to react" you told him and he laughed again.

"Maybe that's the problem you're expecting too much from me already" he walked towards you, his eyes blazing with rage? Or something you couldn't really identify "I am warning you again and again but you can't just listen can you?" he grabbed your chin and for a second you thought he would hurt you, just for a millisecond, but his eyes softened as he looked at you "I should have told you, I'm sorry okay? My bad? can we still fuck each other while we are stuck together? Trust me it will be good for all this anger you have" you used hand gestures to send your point across and he sighed, you're impossible to deal with, as if you're hell bent on getting closer to him. He's being an ass and here you are offering to take his stress away by allowing him to use you as stress buster or something.

"I don't fuck virgins, they come with baggage, I can't be the first man to touch you like that, you'll follow me around like a fucking puppy after that and If I wanted to deal with a puppy I would get one" okay mister, that's extremely rude, he went back to his room after that but he didn't close the door, was that an invitation? He laid down on his bed as he shook his head, why are you so stubborn and why he's not able to shake you off? you're like that annoying child that wouldn't let go of their parents hands in public "Do you want your shirt back? He heard your voice, you were standing at the edge of his bed, he didn't even hear you coming, are you a cat or something? "Keep it afterall I ripped yours"

"Yeah what happened to when I'm done with you, you won't even remember it" you mocked his accent "for the record, I still do remember that" you climbed in his bed and got on top of him "Do you ever not listen to me? Are you hard of hearing? Have you always been such a child or I make you so?" Normally you would just run to the other side and never see him again, but with everything going on this world, you felt extremely bold, you can die anyday, he can too, the thought scared you. He was trying to act like he was angry but there was a hint of smile on his face as he questioned you. You laid on top of him, and put your head between his neck, he does smell divine, what shower gel is this?

"Shhhhhhh good night doc, get your daily does of sleep, I'm sure I don't have to tell you how dangerous sleep deprivation could be, unfortunately You're showing signs and symptoms of it already" You wrapped your arms around his torso and you felt him relaxing at the gesture, he kept his one hand behind his head while the other one was just placed awkwardly next to you "You're a menace and truly incorrigible, I have never met someone so perverse" he mumbled as he wrapped his awkward arm around you and you smiled, you placed a kiss on his neck, he was nice to hold, a bit on the colder side, but it complimented really well with your super warm body "Don't do that, it makes me feel disgusted" he told you and you stopped kissing his neck "Oh so now you decided to listen to me" you smiled as you heard him and placed another kiss on his neck, this time he didn't complain and even turned his head so you can pay attention to the other side. Cute.

You don't even remember when you fell asleep, when you woke up he was gone. You groaned and made your way to your room. You don't know what it was about him that pulled you like a magnet towards him, but you could always feel the wall he has build around him, it wasn't really hard to miss, you were used to bumping head first into the said wall everyday.

Last night he really allowed himself to have a moment of weakness, how dare you just held him so affectionately like that? How dare you kissed his neck as if you cared for him more than just sex? He was annoyed, really annoyed, 5 of the people under his care died today, but he also manged to save people who came for an early diagnosis but he was really frustrated with everything that has been happening, he knows he can just run but they need him, they need all the help they could have and this is the least he can do after he failed to save Misha. When he finally reached his clinic he was exhausted, he thought about how he was really close to having you last night, he would have fucked you too if you weren't a virgin, that's just too much and it wouldn't help the way he feels about you.

When he reached home, you were in the kitchen with an apron on, your hair in a bun, earphones in, moving on some tune while you cooked, a goddamn wifey. You're a torture. He went to the kitchen and as soon as you saw him you took your earphones off and smiled, ofcourse he didn't return it, he went to the refrigerator, took a water bottle and sat down on the eating table

"Rough day?" You asked him and he glared at you "No it was a picnic at the park" he told you, feeling really satisfied with his comeback, but then he saw you looking down as you didn't answer him with a snarky comeback of yours and he felt a pinch in his heart.

There it is, the care, it's happening, he don't want to give a shit about how you feel but you're the most stubborn person he has ever met "What are you making, smells like chicken in here" he asked you as he played on his phone, not wanting to look at you, what he's even looking at? He doesn't seem the type to use social media "Lemon chicken with rice, also next time when you're ordering groceries can I get a tub of pistachio flavored ice cream? Pleasse?" You requested him and he looked at you "That's an accuired taste but Sure"

"Yayyy" you squealed excitedly and he had to pray to all the norns to stop himself from smiling at your reaction. "So did you always dream of being a waitress" he questioned you and you huffed "Nooo.. I wanted to be an actress" you told him and he laughed, you glared at him as he continued laughing, damn he looked good like that, but hey no, he was laughing at you not with you "Oh wait you're serious? You really thought you'd make it here?" Wow he can't be nice, just sometimes maybe? Nope? He just have to be mean about it.

He didn't mean to insult your looks or your talent as an actress, he haven't even seen you acting yet , but theres no way you were going to make it in the hollywood without connections, you being a virgin and not willing to compromise that would be a death certificate of your career in itself . He did wonder why you were still a virgin though? In your mid 20s, were you waiting for a right person? He wasn't the one for sure.

"I did, I ran away from home because my parents abhorred the idea of me doing acting, I just didn't think clearly about how hard it would be once I get here, i was okay with rejection, it made me realise that I wasn't good enough for this so I gave up, and I wasn't willing to compromise to play a side character in a commercial people will definitely skip over so there's that" his heart did hurt at your answer, did you think you were not good enough because you got rejected by some morons who probably couldn't act themselves? Did you feel that way when he rejected you ? He hoped not, any man would love to have a lady like you, he just can't be the one "Sometimes it's not you, sometimes it's them, and you chose your integrity over your passion, I admire that" he told you and you smiled, so he can be nice if he tried.

"So you never acted onscreen?" He asked you and you shrugged "well there was this one commercial, but I'll never let you watch it" you giggled and served him the dinner "Bon Appétit" you sat down and you heard him moaning as he took the first bite "Thank you for this, maybe you should have tried to be a chef instead" he complimented you and you smiled. Yup he could be nice if he wants to be.

After dinner you took a shower and you knocked on his door, when he opened the door, he was just in his briefs, damn those legs are never ending "What do you want now?" He asked you as he rolled his eyes and you took two steps forward to hug him "I'm glad you came back today and that you're alive and that virus didn't get to you" you mumbled and he almost teared up at the gesture, almost. "Okay okay no need to get sentimental over it" he pulled you away and you got inside his room, then you sprawled down on his bed and tapped the place right next to you. He walked over to the edge of the bed and opened his mouth to say something but you shut him up "noooo.. just come and sleep" he groaned and climbed in the bed himself, next to you, you got yourself in the same position as yesterday and your hair was all wet from the shower, you smelled good enough to eat "Your hair is all damped, it's revolting" he said to you "Sorry, I'll dry it tomorrow before I come here" you mumbled as you placed a kiss on his neck and he sighed, he's allowing this again, why can't he just push you away, he was doing so good before "I don't mind it" you smiled as you heard him. As if he would let you do this everyday.

Well he did.

That became a norm for you two from that day onwards, he would ignore you as much as he could, be mean to you for no reason but then sleep with you with his arms wrapped around you. He actually liked sleeping with you, he liked having a warm body so close to him, your warm body. Before the pandemic, he would often sleep around with random women but he followed his rules, no kissing, never stayed over, he never cuddled them, never got attached, it was purely physical and that's how he wanted with you too, but here he is sleeping like a baby next to you as you would pepper him with those abominating neck kisses.

You always tried to wake up before he did, so you could make him breakfast, you were in the kitchen while loki took a shower, when he came out his eyes went towards the safe, it always did , always reminded him of everything he lost, he punched in the code and took out the object he kept in there, the pain he endured to get this for her, his lover, his wife. He was reminiscing those memories but then he heard your scream from the kitchen, he kept the thing inside the safe again hurriedly and ran out to see you, with a piece of glass sticking out from your palm "what did you do now" he groaned and you started to cry "I'm sorry I broke a glass" you were apologising to him while you were hurt, he felt like a dimwit loser.

He brought the first aid kid, and took the glass out and looked for any debris or remaining shards of glass in there, he disinfected your open wound and you screamed in pain as you felt the burning sting "Norns y/n relax, you're not in labour, be a good girl" he mumbled mindlessly, you were pissed with the labour comment but damn you wanted to be his good girl, once he cleaned the wound, he realised he'll have to stitch it for it to heal properly "I have to stitch this, stay here" he came back with a suture kit and numbed the area before he closed your wound carefully, then he put a bandage over it. Once he was done he saw how you kept sobbing "It's done now, make sure it doesn't get drenched or anything, be careful with this" He told you and you nodded "Awn it hurts little baby? You need a candy?" He mocked you but instead of getting pissed you sobbed more and then he felt awful so he hugged you "Hey be strong okay? You have to be strong, it will heal soon I promise" he caressed your head. And you pulled away once you stopped feeling the pain "thank you" you mumbled softly and he looked at you. A menace.

He gave you painkillers to take and finished making the breakfast himself, once he was done he got ready and left. You're practically living off of him, so you felt bad that you won't even be able to cook now, not today atleast. You were bored out of your mind as you had absolutely nothing to do, there wasn't anything on tv, news channels only focused on the pandemic which they should but you didn't like to see how many people died today, and loki had no subscription to anything, no Netflix no prime, nothing, you wanted to get it yourself but you didn't want to spend whatever money you had left. Your left hand was hurt but you can still make yourself useful, you decided to clean his room in the evening, you changed the bedsheet and folded his freshly washed clothes, your eyes glanced over at the safe again, and you walked towards it.

You always were curious to know what was in it, you didn't want to invade his privacy but it did make you very curious. Your trailed your fingers over the safe and turned the lock, it opened instantly, did he forget to lock it? You didn't want to see what was inside, it could be something very private, he kept it in a safe because he didn't want you or anyone else to find out. But at the end curiousity killed the cat, you opened the safe and out of all the things you imagined to see there, you didn't expect to see what you did. What is that? Is it real? Before you could asses it further you heard his voice

"Y/N" he screamed from the top of his lungs as he brisk walked inside the room , he closed the safe and glared at you, his eyes tearing up, he grabbed you by the shoulder and dragged you towards the wall next to the safe and pinned you there "You have no sense of boundary or privacy do you? Do you have any idea how much you frustrate me with this?" He screamed and you shivered as he jerked you, his grip tight on your shoulders "lokii I'm sorry, I'm sorry" you told him, he's right to be upset about this, you shouldn't have invaded his privacy like that "You're sorry? I don't think you are, you're a stubborn inquisitive mewling little witch, that's what you are" if looks could kill you'd have been dead by now

"I'm really sorry I didn't mean to pry, I'm sorry loki please" you raised your palms to cup his cheeks and he flinched as he realised he was hurting you and scaring you by being this way, he took two steps backwards and he saw tears flowing down your eyes "loki I'm sorr.."

Before you could even finish your sentence he pushed you into the wall and kissed you, he's kissing you, he's kissing you, took you a few good seconds to even register what was happening, he's breaking the rule, he's breaking his own rule, you felt him kissing you with such urgency, he felt exactly how you imagined he would, his lips so soft, he tasted so good. You got lost into the feeling, you have never felt that way before, you never had someone kissing you like his their life depended on it..when he pulled away finally, he kissed your forehead, breaking another one of his rules. "Stay away from my stuff or I'll lock you up in a cage and keep you there, if you're going to behave like an animal I would treat you like one" he held your chin up to look at him as he spoke, you wanted to comment on what you saw in the safe but now's not the time, everything he just said turned you on instead of scaring you.

"I thought that was against the rule, the kissing" you mumbled and he lifted you up by your hips, damn he's stronger than he looks. He laid you down on the bed and took his shirt off "It is against the rule, don't get your hopes up darling, it's still purely a physical thing I promise" he ripped your top right off of you again, maybe you should just pay his rent with these ripped clothes of yours "You really think I'm dying to be with you don't you?" You chuckled and he rolled his eyes "The way you wouldn't just leave me alone, yes I do think that, tell me that you understand what I'm saying, use your damn words" he leaned down on top of you, supporting his weight on his knees and elbows, he grabbed a handful of your hair with both of his hands as he asked, pulling slightly on them, not enough to hurt bad but enough to sting. You closed your eyes at the sensation. Dominant fucker.

"I do, I understand, just physical, nothing more" you mumbled and he kissed you again, you don't think he understood his own rules very well, you moaned into his mouth, as he bucked his hips into your clothed core, you wrapped your legs around him and you matched his rhythm "Wouldn't take much to have you fall apart under me hmm? Virgins are such peculiar breed" he snickered and you opened your eyes to look at him, he is gorgeous and he's right, it wouldn't take much but why give him satisfaction.

"Oh god just Shutup for once" you lift your head up to kiss him and he is taken aback by the sudden action, he pushed the strand of his hair back with his fingers, that fell on your face. He pulled away after a while, he ripped your shorts off and then your panties followed, it's been more than a week since you last shaved, now you didn't feel so sexy all of a sudden "sorry about that, if I knew you were.." he cut you off before you could finish and you felt his fingers rubbing your lips "doesn't really matter to me darling, it's just hair, so focus on how I am making you feel rather then whatever nuisance you're brewing in your head" how to be considerate and an ass at the same time, he should teach a class on that.

You felt his middle finger probing your entrance and he moaned in your ears, a damn virgin you're, your hymen is still intact, did you not even use your fingers? Or used a toy? He wondered "Is this what you waited for? Kept yourself so pristine till now only for it to lose it to a jerk like me, couldn't wait for the right person anymore could you?" He whispered in your ear, trying to distract you from the discomfort you must feel "Noo..uhh.. life is uncertain these days isn't it? I can die anytime and I'll be gone just like that, what's the point, I don't want to die a virgin and leave my soul to haunt forever" you mumbled and he sucked on your neck "that's too bad because I won't let you die darling" he whispered softly, for a change, no sense of annoyance or mockery in his tone.

Once you got comfortable to his finger he pushed another one in there, his mouth trailed all over your breasts, kissing and nipping and sucking, he stretched you open slowly, he needed to otherwise his cock would rip you in half literally, he shouldn't have kissed you, he shouldn't have done any of this but he can't wait anymore, can't jerk off to the thought of you like a teenager in the shower anymore, you want this, you want him and he's going to fuck you till you're sick of him or until he runs.

He undressed himself completely and you finally saw his cock, long and thick with the most perfect pink tip, not that you have seen any before but you have seen porn so your judgement was astute right, also that's going to hurt in a bad way first but then in a very good way "I'm not on pills just so you know" you mumbled and he stepped off the bed and took a condom out of his drawer, you wouldn't get pregnant even if he fucked you raw, but he was in no mood to explain all that to you, it's not like you'd even understand "want me to hook you up on them? The pills, I can get you if you want" great one more favor, but you're not going to reject free pills "yes please" he wrapped the rubber around him and lined his cock with your entrance, the only reason he offered you that because someday he would like to do you raw, he grabbed on your thighs and looked at you.

"You can still back out darling, backing out now would feel much better then the regret you might feel tomorrow" he asked you again and you shook your head "Just fuck me already, will you" as soon your finished your words, he pushed his cock in one quick motion, god you wanted to scream but you just winced and bit on you lower lip, it does hurt but it doesn't hurt as bad as fucking Appendicitis, plus you have a feeling you're going to feel so good later on. A tear escaped your eyes as you tried to distract your mind from the pain, he leaned down and kissed you again, very gently "You okay darling?" He asked you and you nod your head in confirmation "Yeahh ..just a little uncomfortable" you told him and he peppered your face with kisses, "Congratulations, not a virgin anymore, your soul will be in heaven now" he smirked and you wanted to wipe that grin off his face, he's so proud of himself.

Once you felt the pain subsiding he started to move his hips in and out slowly, when you felt his cock deep inside you, touching places you didn't even know existed, you felt the coil in your belly building every passing second "Going to cum aren't you? I can feel it, I haven't even been in for a minute, that's truly pathetic darling, how desperate are you hmm?" he sat up and he increased his pace before he commanded you sternly "go on, cum little whore" you weren't expecting him to call you that, but it made the coil snap instantly, you loved being called that to be honest, He kept moving in you as you shook and writhed under him, your moans turned him on even more and he won't be able to stop even if he wanted now, there's no way he wouldn't want to hear the sweet sounds you're making for him again after this, Once you calmed down he leaned down and kissed you, for someone who established a no kissing rule, he did like kissing you alot and you were not complaining.

"How was that" he whispered in your ear and you opened your eyes, your eyes glassy, brain foggy "best thing since pistachio ice cream" you giggled and he found it really adorable, look at him using that sentimental word for you, he looked intently at you as he tried to stop himself from admiring how beautiful you looked, what is he getting himself into? You're nothing but a trouble "Good because you're going to do it all over again little whore" he thrusted in and out of you quickly and you wrapped your legs around him, his breathing heavy, same as yours, he interlocked his one hand with yours and held the other one by the back of your palm carefully so as to not hurt your stitches, he kissed your wounded palm over and over again, his eyes closed as he did, he didn't need to be so soft with you in that moment at all, afterall it's all just physical right, then why is he fucking you so gently, kissing on your wound so sweetly and kissing you on lips so lovingly like that, why he is acting like he cares about you, You were definitely going to cum again like he said.

He was so close too, it's been months since he last fucked someone and you felt like Valhalla "oh norns y/n you're so fucking tight darling" he mumbled as he felt his orgasm approaching in, he grunted and moaned loudly as he finally let go and you did too, the sight of him moaning and grunting your name was enough, this is the best feeling you have ever had in your life without a doubt, if you knew sex actually felt like this you'd have done it sooner, but it wasn't just the orgasm, it was the moment you shared with him before that, the kissing, the affirmations, the softness, but would you have felt the same way with someone else? You didn't know but your gut said, nobody could make you feel as good as he did.

Once he calmed down enough he pulled out of you and went to his bathroom, he got rid of the bloodied condom and cleaned himself, he picked up a fresh washcloth and ran it under cold water then he came back to the room and cleaned you up properly, almost professionally, like a doctor would then he threw the washcloth away and looked at you

"Get out" you were taken aback by the sudden mood swing and sat up on his bed, this is the point where you would desperately start to dress yourself like they do in movies but newsflash, your clothes are in some celestial space because he ripped them, he threw his t shirt at you so you can cover yourself

"this is what you wanted right? you got it, now get out" you put the tshirt on, and for once you didn't argue, didn't fight, didn't say anything, you were exhausted from the majestic fucking. You ran out of his room and he closed the door but didn't lock it. He put on his briefs and went to sleep or so he tried, you were starting to become a disease for him, now he's missing your warm cuddly body around him. He huffed and groaned and twisted and turned, after an hour or so, he felt his door creaking and you got in, relentless little witch.

You quietly got in the bed and on the top of him like you usually do "don't leave me alone" you mumbled half asleep half in waking state, his heart soared at the sound of your voice, he wanted to hold you forever like this but he can't "I am going to do exactly that, once I'm done with my work here, do you ever not listen to me?" He flipped you over and kissed you softly, again he said one thing to you but his actions indicated something else entirely, he felt you pulling him in a bear hug kind of thing and tried to pull away but you were a professional in the art of forceful hugging apparently "Mmm I do, I listen to you loki, I listen baby, just not tonight, don't leave me alone tonight" you mumbled again and he sighed at the pet name your groggy foggy brain used for him, he laid on the side of you and you snuggled into him tightly then he watched you fall asleep in his embrace, your face in his chest, the soft sleeping noises you made made him want to protect you from everything. Just for tonight though.

Maybe just for the night he would allow himself to forget his past, to feel your warmth, the closeness, the intimacy, just for tonight he would pretend like you won't hurt him as bad as she did, that you won't break his heart in so many pieces that he would never feel whole again, maybe just for tonight he would pretend to be normal again, how he was before she turned his world upside down.

Just for tonight.

[lipstickstainz]

true lies - s. r. (14/15)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Series Summary: Spencer is furious, when you rejoin the team after a year and after you left him, when he got arrested. Little does he know, that you leaving him was the only option to ever get him out of prison.

Chapter Summary: Leaving is the only option - right?

Warnings: angst, blood (but not much), break up, drug addiction (mentioned), alcohol consumption

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: hello lovies. I'm back and my mind is full of ideas! I hope you like it! gif not mine.

Series Masterlist

previous chapter

You watch the coffee in your cup as if it has all the answers for the future hidden in the caffeine. It's eight o'clock in the morning, and this is already your third cup of the sacred liquid, and you're sure it won't be your last. The shadows under your eyes are a sign of your nightmares that haunted you last night. The fact that you have them doesn't bother you, after all, you've been going through the procedure for months. What bothers you is the fact that you couldn't wake yourself up this time. You've gotten in the habit of pinching yourself when it would get too painful, but something stopped you last night. And the fact that you don't know what exactly bothers you the most.

"Y/N." Emily's voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you have to tear your gaze away from your coffee. "What do you think?"

All eyes are on you and out of nervousness you'd like to slide around in your chair, but suppress the urge. You haven't been listening for the last few minutes, too busy with your own thoughts and problems that you can't answer her. The case is supposed to be your last, and you're trying hard to enjoy it and value the time with your friends, but really you're just waiting for it all to be over. Most of all, you want to pack your things and leave.

You barely noticeably shake your head for Emily to continue, and turn your attention back to your coffee, which must be cold by now, but that doesn't stop you from drinking it down to the last drop. Without saying anything, you get up from your chair to get another one, paying no attention to Emily's annoyed look. As you fill your cup in the precinct kitchen, she stands right next to you.

"You're not being very helpful, Y/N," she says coolly as you take a sip. You know her manner is all pretense, because in reality she's incredibly concerned. She only needs to look at your face once to know what's going on in your head, but she doesn't address it. She knows you'll talk to her when the time is right. But you're not sure that will ever happen. "I've already assigned the tasks. You stay here and work with Spencer to gather all the important information that may be relevant to Penelope's research." The look on your face says it all. You don't want to spend any time with Spencer, and certainly not alone, but Emily gives you no choice. Before you can say anything back, she disappears out the door with the others.

With your coffee, which you now wish had a strong shot of vodka in it, you make your way back into the conference room, where Spencer is bent over the table, passing pictures and notes back and forth. You stop in the doorway and watch him for a brief moment, and only then do you notice the narrow, red scratch on his face that stretches from his cheek to his neck. You squint your eyes. It hadn't been there yesterday after all.

"What happened?“, you ask as casually as you can as you sit down and set your cup down on the table. As Spencer looks at you questioningly, you point to his face. "Looks bad." Indeed it does, though it's just a scratch. There's bloody crust in a few places, contrasting in color with his pale skin. Something really got to him.

"Cut myself shaving“, he replies curtly, glancing again at the pictures in front of him. You haven't seen him in two years, don't actually remember who he is exactly, but you still know when he's lying. And when to stop asking and let it go. When Penelope calls, you discuss some stuff and you see Spencer scratching over the wound until it bleeds, which he doesn't seem to notice, which is why you stall Penelope on the phone and grab his hand as soon as the line goes silent. Astonished, he looks at you before looking at his fingers.

"Come with me“, you say briefly and don't even wait for him to follow you. You approach an officer and ask for a first aid kit, which is immediately made available to you. Spencer follows you uncertainly into one of the washrooms, where you already put on the disposable gloves from the box - you don't want any bacteria to get on the wound - and wet a towel from the towel dispenser. Reluctantly, Spencer leans against one of the sinks, waiting for your instructions.

"Tilt your head to the side a little, please." You take the damp cloth and gently dab along the scratch to remove the dried blood. Spencer has to swallow at the touch and you see his Adam's apple bob, and really it shouldn't be that attractive, unfortunately it is anyway. You have to concentrate because this is the closest you've been to him in years. You breathe in his scent, feel his warmth through your gloves, and can barely stifle a deep breath.

"How do you know how to do that?“, he asks softly as you disinfect the wound, and Spencer has to pull himself together to keep from reacting to the burning from the alcohol.

You look at him briefly before turning your attention back to the scratch. „Experience“, you reply, spreading some wound healing ointment over it before taking off your gloves and disposing of everything in the trash can. You then put the first aid kit back together. As you turn around, Spencer is standing right in front of you.

"You didn't tell me you were having nightmares“, he whispers, and confused, you look at him. There's concern in his gaze, and if you're not mistaken, a little affection too, but you push the thought aside, not letting yourself have hope. Hope has only harmed you lately you have not moved forward a bit.

You look once more at the scratch, and then into his warm eyes. "You didn't cut yourself shaving“, you count one and one together and clench your jaws. He doesn't need to answer. You did this to him, you just don't remember. The reason you didn't wake up is Spencer. He was probably holding you, reassuring you so much that your body turned off its protective mechanism. It had certainly been the last time he did that, and you hadn't been awake to enjoy it.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?“, he asks, wanting to reach for your hand, but you take a step back. You don't want him to touch you. You'd prefer it if you weren't in this situation at all. You'd prefer that you hadn't come back at all. None of this should have ever happened.

"It's none of your business anymore, Spencer." Your tone is cool and something in his face changes.

"I thought we were friends."

You have to suppress a laugh. Two years ago, you could have lived well with being friends with him. You were prepared for it then, wished it on him, and meant it sincerely. Only lately you've been through so much that you can't even imagine it anymore. The two years had been hell, but you are sure that you can't live next to him without being able to be with him. You can't watch him and Max be happy together, and even though his happiness is everything you want, you'd rather he be happy with you. But you can't tell him that, it would be unfair and selfish. So you just look at him.

Then you reach for the small suitcase and push past him towards the exit.

-

You're glad when the case is over and you arrive back at Quantico. It's been a week since you and Spencer spoke, and luckily for you, you've continued to be spared nightmares, for which you're quite grateful. Not that Spencer is going to join you in bed one more time to calm you down.

As you walk from the airfield back to the building, you fall back a bit, watching the team joke and laugh with each other despite their fatigue. Most of all, you'd like to leave right now without saying goodbye. Rip off the band-aid, without anesthesia. Short and painless. But your plan is foiled when Emily suddenly walks up beside you and puts a hand on your arm.

"We're going for a drink." She raises an eyebrow expectantly. Apparently she's waiting for you to decline the invitation, and all too gladly you'd like to meet her expectations, but it's almost certainly the last night you'll see each other, at least for an extended period of time, and short and painless wouldn't be fair to her - your best friend.

You smile at her. "You're paying for the first round."

Her eyes widen in delight, but before she can say anything back, Luke, who has overheard your conversation, interferes. "We're going out for drinks?" A grin spreads across his face, almost reaching his ears, and suddenly the rest of the team pricks up their ears. Luke's gaze is fixed on you. "I bet I can drink you under the table by now, Y/N."

„You can’t“, Matt replies, and you see Rossi smile to himself. "Last time you did that, you almost passed out after four shots."

"JJ got the drinks. Maybe she mixed something in“, Luke tries to defend himself, but the blonde raises her hands.

"I'm not responsible for your kindergarten drinking. But I'd love to see you try to drink Y/N under the table." She smiles at you and winks, and you can't help but grin. It feels good to know that all is well between you and the team, even though they know with a high probability that you won't be staying. You'd understand if they were mad at you, but that doesn't seem to be the case. JJ looks at Spencer, who is being less than forthcoming. "You coming, Spence?"

He risks a quick glance in your direction before adjusting the bag on his shoulder. He knows this will be your last night. And that you won't see each other again after this. "I think I'll sit this one out“, he replies curtly, but JJ nudges him and he gives her a dirty look.

"You can't avoid it, Spence."

You'd rather he'd gone home.

The first drinks are on Emily, as promised, and the ones after that are on Rossi, and it's actually not long before Luke is sitting at the table with a glass of water, wishing he'd slowed down. You grin at him from the dance floor where JJ and you are swinging your hips, and he sticks his tongue out at you before putting his head in his hands and sipping water through the straw in his glass.

JJ reaches for your hand and pulls you close before wrapping her arms around your neck. "I'm going to miss you“, she almost yells so you can hear her over the loud music. You smile weakly at her. There's a glint in her eyes, probably from the alcohol, and only now do you realize how much you're really going to miss her.

"I'm going to miss you too“, you reply, risking a quick glance in Spencer's direction. He's sitting next to Luke, looking completely out of place. You look back to JJ and without further ado, she puts her hands to your cheeks and presses a kiss to your mouth. When she pulls away from you again, she just grins at you. "What was that for?"

"I want you to know that we love you. We all do. Remember that when you're lonely, and call if you need anything. You are and always will be a part of our weird family."

You wait a brief moment before pulling away from her and disappearing into the ladies' room. As soon as the door slams shut, tears stream down your cheeks and you have to hold onto the edge of the sink to keep from breaking down. You were aware of how much the others would miss you, but hearing it from JJ only makes it more real. By leaving, you're not only leaving Spencer behind, but everyone else as well, and that's so selfish of you that bile rises inside you and you almost throw up. You wish you hadn't had those last two drinks.

"Y/N?" You don't have to turn around to know it's Spencer. You recognized his voice and can see him in the mirror above the sink.He's standing behind you, unsure of what exactly to do, which is why he buries his hands in his pants pockets and looks at you silently.

You wipe the smeared mascara from under your eyes before turning and leaning against the basin. "This is the ladies' room, Spencer. You're not supposed to be in here.“

"I'm right where I'm supposed to be“, he replies, but doesn't move from the spot. He watches you brush your hair out of your forehead and wipe at your hot face to get rid of the tears. "You don't have to go. You know that, right?"

You look up from your shoes, straight into his eyes. "Yes, I do."

You want to leave the washroom, but his fingers curl around your arm, holding you back. "Y/N ..."

"I can't stay, Spencer. I can't look at you without knowing that someone other than me is waiting for you at home. I can't watch you be happy without me. It's okay, really. It's just that I don't have the strength to watch it anymore." The words just bubble out of you, and for some reason you can't stop. But it feels good to say it out loud, even though you certainly shouldn't. "I love you, Spencer. I'll always love you. But I'm at the end of my rope." You shrug in exasperation. "I have to think about me. I can only think about me." Spencer's face contorts painfully, but you can't stop. "To think that you're about to go to Max's and do God knows what ..." You shake your head, as if it might drive the thoughts from your mind. "I feel like I - I - I can't breathe. Like I'm going to die. And I just can't take it anymore."

Spencer's hand comes away from your arm at your honesty, but only to grab your hand and pull you against him. You bounce against his chest, wanting to pull away, but he holds you tight and presses you to him with his other hand. Carefully, he places his palm against your cheek and gently strokes your skin with his thumb. "Please, don't go."

You look into his eyes, which have filled with tears. "Why not?"

You can practically see him struggling with himself. He wants to say something, but can't find the right words, so he presses his lips together and lets his forehead sink against yours. All he has to do is say it, and you'd throw all your plans out the window and stick around. Just a few words. But he doesn't say them. "I can't ..."

You take a deep breath before pulling away from him, disappointed. „Goodbye“, you whisper, before leaving him alone in the washroom.

-

Spencer sits uncertainly at the kitchen table, watching the tea bag with lemon balm in the cup in front of him. He doesn't actually like lemon balm, but he needs something to calm his nerves and get the trembling of his hands under control as he sits there searching for the right words.

The last time he had felt this helpless, Emily had just left his apartment and he had been about to make some phone calls. The first call would have been to a man who would have given him a different number. The second phone call would have been to a woman who would have transferred him. And the third number belonged to someone who would have given him what he was only too happy to get.

Many years ago, he had sworn to himself that he would never resort to it again. That he wouldn't need it. He would be stronger than the desire to feel nothing more. The only thing that had stopped him was that you would never wish that for him. That you had helped him then, had stood by him. He didn't want it to be in vain.

Spencer hates feeling so helpless, even though he actually knows exactly what he has to do now. That's why he sits in the kitchen in the middle of the night, cup of calming tea in hand, not daring to look at the woman sitting across from him. But he doesn't need to say anything either. She knows why he was at her door at such a late hour. They sit in silence, neither quite knowing what to do. Neither of them has been in this situation before. Spencer is glad she's the first to speak.

"So that's it." It's more of a statement than a question. Spencer nods silently, whereupon she purses her lips. "Because of her?"

Spencer looks up from his cup and looks directly at Max. Then he shakes his head. "No, not because of her."

She raises an eyebrow. "But what? Don't you dare give me that 'it's not you, it's me' tour. I've heard that one before."

Spencer has to think for a moment, find the right words, before he answers. "I've lost her so many times. I wouldn't survive it another time."

The two have known each other long enough. Max knows he's not exaggerating or meaning it metaphorically. He has told her about his addiction, and she had been very grateful at the time that he was so honest with her, even though they hadn't known each other long. Spencer knows that all of this is not healthy and psychologically quite far from reasonable and Maxine knows what she has gotten herself into. But no one could have guessed that it would end this way.

"I'm sorry." Spencer's voice sounds hoarse and raspy. He stands up and makes his way toward the apartment door.

"I hope you make it." There's so much honesty in her voice that Spencer has to smile sadly over his shoulder.Maxine doesn't deserve this. None of you deserve this.

The walk to Emily's apartment is short, but to Spencer it feels like an eternity. The train is late, which is why he actually starts running, afraid of missing his chance. He runs until his lungs are burning and his bag is banging painfully against his ribs.The few people left on the streets look at him askance, but he doesn't care. He's panting, barely getting his breath and wishing he was a little more athletic, but as he sprints around the next corner he can already see the building where Emily's apartment is located.

For a brief moment he considers taking a break, catching his breath, but he can't wait another second. Hopefully he's not too late.

He's not surprised that he can just walk into the building, even though he doesn't have a key. He sprints up the stairs, and runs down the hallways until he's gasping for breath and standing in front of the right door, his head high. He bangs on the door with a clenched fist, hoping it will open and he won't be too late. He can't be late. He can't be late.

Finally, the door opens, and for the first time in years, he can take a real breath.

"Y/N."

- taglist closed -

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[inevitably-johnlocked]

Do you have any fic recs of Sherlock being soft for John and John only.

Hey Nonny! 

Ahhhhhhhh your request had me thinking that yes I do, and I did tag a few fics with “soft Sherlock”, but I’ve never started a list, so here ya go!

SOFT SHERLOCK

See also: Sherlock Soft With Children

Soft. Happy. Content. by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 223 w., 1 Ch. || Sleepy Cuddles, Bed Sharing, Slice of Life, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Spooning, Morning After, Sherlock POV) – Sherlock reflects on his state of mind. Part 6 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

A Perfect Figure by ecb327 (K, 622 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, First Person POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Light Angst) – Sherlock build a spot in his mind palace for John.

I Knew You Loved Me by inevitably_johnlocked (T, 743 w., 1 Ch. || Morning Cuddles, Fluff, Clingy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Slice of Life, Morning After, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Declarations of Love, Pet Name, Bed Sharing, Snuggles) – John and Sherlock share a lie-in the morning after their first time. So fluffy and gross your teeth will fall out. Part 4 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

Peacock by ClassyGirlsWearPearls (T, 1,189 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Cranky Sherlock, Soft John, Hand Holding, Soft Sherlock) – A study in Sherlock and John.

Mizzle by MrsNoggin (K, 1,233 w., 1 Ch || Friendship, Fluff, Platonic Johnlock, Humour, Slice of Life) – John can't decide if it's raining or not. Sherlock doesn't understand.

And, Usually, He's the One Who GIVES Me a Headache by Cumberbatch Critter (T, 1,315 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, POV John, Cranky John, Headaches, Head Massage) – A migraine is never fun.

Together is What we Have, Together Protects Us by Phantom of the Black Pearl (K+, 1,566 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship / Platonic or Slash, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Sherlock, Worried Sherlock, Slice of Life) – After a case one evening in the flat Sherlock voices a concern that causes the pair to consider why they've chosen to stick together after all that's happened

Here to Stay by MockJayPhoenix12 (K, 1,574 w., 1 Ch. || Post Reunion, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Headache, Bed Sharing, Care Taker Sherlock, Hand Holding, Fluff) – On Sherlock's first day home, John wakes with a migraine.

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4,  5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Let the Sun Fade Out by nothingislittle (E, 2,711 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff & Smut, Praise Kink, PWP, Obsessed Sherlock, Bottomlock, Heart-Tearing Love) – "He could warm the sun itself, Sherlock thinks, could heat their flat with just his presence, could brighten the room with one dazzling smile or just the sparkling in his eyes. John is everything, he’s beautiful and he shines, he’s everything."

Unquantifiable by 221b_hound (M, 2,799 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Sherlock/Sally Friendship, Grumpy John, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Pet Names, Texting, Sweet Sherlock, Princess Bride References) – John remains a terrible and foul-tempered patient, but he does try to make up for it with pet names and text message silliness. In the meantime, Sally Donovan visits Baker Street for a hint about the Milverton case, and has to deal with a Sherlock Holmes who can't find words big enough to thank her for saving John's life at the warehouse. For afters, there's a viewing of The Princess Bride. Part 33 of the Unkissed series

Pillow Talk by 221b_hound (E, 2,925 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, Est. Rel., Preening Sherlock, Limpet Sherlock, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Sex on Furniture, Scent Kink, Masturbation, Fluff, Soft Sherlock,  Sherlock’s Bum) – John gets home late from work and Sherlock is nowhere to be seen. John walks through the flat, distracted by memories of all the excellent sex they've been having, and finally finds Sherlock asleep in the upstairs room - apparently having fallen asleep mid-wank while inhaling the scent of John's pillow. Well, you should always finish what you start, John thinks... Part 3 of Lock and Key

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Affirmation by jamlockk (E, 3,096 w., 1 Ch. || First Time, Dev. Rel., PWP, Love Declarations, Emotional/Overwhelmed Sherlock, Comforting/Caring John, Gross Fluff) – "Sunlight dappled John's skin, casting a glow across his spreadeagled form as he dozed among the rumpled sheets. Sherlock knew the expression on his face was hopelessly soft but for once did not care about showing his true feelings so openly. He simply stood there, in the doorway, gazing at the impossibly beautiful man currently snuffling softly in his slumber." Part 8 of All the ways we love

Untouched by KittieHill (E, 3,239 w., 1 Ch. || Kissing, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, Body Worship, Sherlock’s Scars Mentioned, Masturbation, PWP, Rimming, Multiple Orgasms) – Sherlock leaked a lot. John had never needed lubricant. John loved watching it, had once spent an entire afternoon edging Sherlock so he could watch as the thick precome drip, drip, dripped onto Sherlock's belly.

Morning Sunlight by slashscribe (E, 3,565 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Morning Sex, Fluff, PWP, Established Rel., Soft Idiots) – A thin band of soft morning light peeks between the curtains and stretches across John’s torso, laying dormant across his forearm, dipping into the space between his arm and his chest, illuminating his right nipple but just brushing the edge of his left, disappearing into his armpit, and reappearing again right over Sherlock’s eyes where his head rests, nestled against John’s shoulder. Sherlock is not annoyed by the light’s intrusion on his sleep, not when it rests so soft and tantalizing on John’s skin, a work of unintentionally erotic art. A PWP with so much emotion.

Living Musical by VeeTheRee (G, 4,149 w. 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Hobbies, Summer, Song Fic, POV Sherlock, Painting, Play Fighting, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Love Declarations, Hair Petting, Promise of Forever) – A one-shot of John and Sherlock being domestic during summer. There is paint, fluff, and music from Imagine Dragons, namely from the album 'Speak To Me', specific song in this one-shot is 'Living Musical'. Part 1 of the Happy Fluffy Johnlock Time series

Date Night by inevitably_johnlocked (G, 4,451 w., 1 Ch. || Anxious / Worried Sherlock, Caring John, Schmoopy Fluff, Fidget Cube, Baking / Cooking, Date Night, Established Relationship, POV Sherlock Holmes, Understanding John, Grumpy Sherlock, John’s Bum, Kisses, Hugs, Domestic Fluff, Touching, Hair Petting, Light Humour) – It's John and Sherlock's first Date Night as an official couple and Sherlock needs it to be PERFECT. Mrs Hudson helps. Part 7 of I-J's Tumblr Ficlet Collection

If He Knows by shamelessmash (M, 4,513 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fic, Pining Sherlock, Bed Sharing, Angst, First Person Sherlock POV, Texting, Internal Monologue, Blanket Forts) – I imagine mornings: John handing me a cup of tea, hair sticking out at odd angles. How he would bend down to kiss me, smiling fondly as he pulls away. The way his skin crinkles at the corner of his eyes, the way his skin looks in the morning light. The soft sigh as he sits in his chair with the morning paper, the way his toes curl in the carpet, the way he rolls his shoulders before sinking deeper into his seat. I watch him, how he is when he is content, as it should be. As he deserves. Happy. With me.

all things warm and tender by darcylindbergh (E, 5,177 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Romantic Fluff, Rimming/Anal/BJ’s, Body Worship) – Grinning and giggling, John slides back down under the sheet and pulls it over his head. He finds Sherlock waiting for him, eyes bright and hair wild, the firelight bleeding through the thin fabric, colouring everything in soft peach and topaz, and in that moment he is so suddenly, unexpectedly, ethereally beautiful that John forgets how to breathe.

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, Pillow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w., 3 Ch. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Naked by sussexbound (E, 6,166 w., 1 Ch. || Frottage, Fluff, Intimacy, First Time, Love Declarations, Trust) – John takes a deep breath, and then lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Sherlock, how would you feel if you were sitting out here doing one of your bloody experiments, and I just waltzed out of the loo and started fixing myself breakfast completely starkers? Hmm…? ”Sherlock’s lips inch up at the corners into a pleased hint of a smile he can’t seem to suppress. Part 2 of Intimacy

Christmas by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 7,673 w., 1 Ch. || Worried Sherlock, PWP, Drunkeness, Christmas, Est. Relationship, Idiots So In Love) – John feels a lump rise in his throat, and it hits him, again, that this beautiful, infuriating creature is his. Completely, one-hundred percent his.

How To Give Your Boyfriend Who Doesn't Know He's Your Boyfriend the Best Valentine's Day Ever by unicornpoe (T, 9,832 w., 1 Ch. || Valentine’s Day, Fluff and Crack, Soft Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – Sherlock is pretty sure that John Watson is his boyfriend. He's also pretty sure that John doesn't know it. But with a little help from a magazine, some friends, three crepes, five dates, one awesome CD, and a stalker van, John is bound to realize just in time for Valentine's Day.

Someone I Love by hudders-and-hiddles (M, 10,002 w., 2 Ch. || Canon Compliant, HLV-Filler Fic, Pre-Slash, Jealous John, PIning Sherlock, Angst & Fluff, UST/URT, Dog Tags) – John gets married and Sherlock finds comfort in wearing John's identity tags around his wrist.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Invocation of Saint Margaret by Ewebie (E, 15,831 w., 1 Ch. || POV John,  Crossing Timelines, Light Angst, Fluff, Series 3 John / Series 1 Sherlock, The Matchbox, Mushy Romance, First Time, Bisexual John, Pining John, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Sensuality, Emotional Love Making, Snippets of Time) – When Sherlock Holmes opens the matchbox from The Sign of Three and John finds himself years in the past, back to that first dinner at Angelo's with a much younger Sherlock Holmes. Is he dreaming?

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

Out of the Woods by SilentAuror (E, 20,471 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Romance, Slow Burn, Flirting, Drunk Sex, Practical Jokes, POV Sherlock, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Pining Sherlock, Frustrated Wanking, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Love Confessions, Soft Sherlock, Dancing, Bum Appreciation, Hanging out with the Yard) – Sherlock is fairly certain that John has taken to flirting with him of late, but can't be entirely certain of it. At least, not until a case takes them into a forest, along with Lestrade's team and something happens that will change everything about their lives...

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all.

Gold Rush by ShirleyCarlton (E, 71,783 w., 17 Ch. || Post S3 / No Mary, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Past Sexual Abuse, First Kiss, Case Fic, Slow Burn, Alternating POV, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Marriage Proposal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Abduction, Anxious/Insecure Sherlock, Miscommunication, Emotional Lovemaking) – John has divorced Mary and pops round to 221B one evening to find Sherlock in the middle of a case. As Sherlock tries to find the identity of a young woman’s stalker, John realises he can no longer deny his feelings for Sherlock – which then, to their befuddlement, turn out to be mutual. Shy kisses and tentative embraces ensue. But will Sherlock be able to cast off a shadow from his past that he thinks might prevent John from wanting to stay?

Definitions by siennna (T, 101,528 w., 12 of ? Ch. || Dev. Rel., Pining, Fluff and Romance, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Cuddles, Girl’s Night, Texting, Virgin Sherlock, Drunk Sherlock, Background Mollstrade, Hair Petting, Laying on Lap) – Sherlock’s journey in defining his flat mate and stumbling through the muddled world of emotion. {{This feels complete; the chapter count is listed as ? but I feel like it is done}}

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.