#macgyver style

[bumpkling]

i don’t have a dryer and it’s so humid outside that hanging out my laundry does nothing, so i’m forced to inadequately drape my sheets over a tiny drying rack in my apartment, turn on my portable hairdryer and put it underneath this ridiculous sheet-cubby, and heat it from the inside like some stupid domestic hot air balloon

[sysig]

Bitter breakup rivalry (Patreon)

[lailuhhh]

Sneak Peak Sunday

“What’s your story, Einstein? Figured you would’ve gone off to be a doctor or work at NASA with everything you can do. Army’s reserved for us regular IQ guys.”

Laugher filled the tent at the question asked, and Mac himself even let a snort slide on to his face.

“I was a physics major when I was at MIT, but after hearing all the stories from my grandfather about his time in the army, I guess I sorta felt like I wasn’t doing enough. So I signed up, and now I’m here.”

“Hold on, lemme get this straight. You attended MIT, one of the most difficult schools to get into, and left to come disarm bombs?

“Makes ya rethink the genius idea, don’t it?” Jack shot out.

“Honorable? Hell yeah, but smart? Hell no. I’m here right now for college, and I didn’t even get that.”

“My parents woulda beat the shit outta me if I dropped out of college before joining up. Yours didn’t say anything?”

Mac shrugged. “My mom died from cancer when I was five, and I haven’t seen my dad in just about eleven years. If he didn’t care about me when I was ten, I doubt he’d care about me when I’m twenty-one.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m happy to have got to met you. You make me feel like a fucking idiot all the time but you’re a pretty cool dude.”

More laughs.

“I appreciate it. I don’t think my dad even wanted to be a dad. I don’t remember much from when my mom was alive, but he never really gave me the time of day when I was growing up; always working and throwing me at my grandfather, and then just left when I turned ten. Don’t know where he is or what he’s doing, and I don’t really care to be honest. If he didn’t show an interest in my life, why should I show an interest in his.”

“Hell yeah brother. All us guys with shitty parents gotta stick together.”

[tuttle-did-it]

‘Incident in Lot 7’ Murder, She Wrote guest stars

Henry Gibson (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, The Blues Brothers, Innerspace, Rocket Power, Becker, Charmed, Stargate SG1, Early Edition, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Mad About You, Coach, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Escape to Witch Mountain, MacGyver, Newhart, The Twilight Zone (1985), Quincy ME, Magnum PI, Trapper John MD, Wonder Woman, Love American Style, Bewitched)

Ron Glass (Firefly, Serenity, Barney Miller, CSI, Agents of SHIELD, Death at a Funeral, Star Trek Voyager, Teen Angel, Perry Mason, The Twilight Zone (19685), The Bob Newhart Show, Maude, All in the Family)

The Psycho House - Jessica investigates a murder on the set of Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960). In the opening credits there is a burst of the theme tune from Alfred Hitchcock Presents (1955) and a man that looks like Hitchcock crosses the street. This is a nod to the cameos that Hitchcock made in most of his films.

Films that have used the Psycho House on Universal set for their locations

S8, E13 19 Jan 1992

[pokytoad]

I've briefly re-entered civilization to see the eclipse and I think its worth noting that our main lodge got totalled by a white pine on Thursday with all 23 of us inside, luckily everyone was okay but now we're all scared of loud noises LOL check this shit

[clatterbane]

Tonight's concoction in the making!

Basically just fixing a little fried cabbage with plenty of onion, sweet red pepper, and an extremely Swedish take on chorizo that I had to try.

"A SPICY AND WELL SEASONED SAUSAGE. FREE FROM MILK AND GLUTEN.

RED PEPPER & CAYENNE"

This reminds me more of a cross between kielbasa and bockwurst with a little chili heat, but it is pretty good stuff. Probably worth trying in some red beans and rice.

But, on that note tonight, I decided to throw some in with the cabbage and some of the Creole seasoning I finally mixed up more of recently. Because I had an urge for cooked cabbage.

To go with that, I was originally thinking of some kind of potatoes. But, I have one good helping of a cheesy asparagus rice casserole to get out of the fridge, and that's also less work. It'll do.

[tanista]

Greetings and salutations, dear readers!

Presenting another tale from the New Earth Archives, namely what I hope is a humorous little romp of the chaos that ensues when SGC-style war games (aka foothold scenarios) finally resume post-Zero Hour.

As to who's the last man (or woman) standing at the end of it all... Well, you'll just have to find out for yourself. Suffice it to say a good time is had by all anyway.

It's such a good feeling when one of my half-baked stories finally gets past writer's block and comes to full fruition. Who knows where my imagination will take me next?

Hope you enjoy, dear readers. Feedback is always welcome. Stay safe and well!

[petermorwood]

I loved the "gun-axe" with the dagger, because the idea was at least potentially practical - if your weapon has been swung into something it won't easily pry out of, the backup weapon is already in your hand, and presumably a twist away.

I also found myself wanting to end the presentation of combo weapons with a scene from original Macgyver - "Hey man, that's an uzi!" "Now it's a wrench."

Reaction to this post.

Indian axes and picks often had extra features of one kind or another, though a dagger screwed into the haft seems so common that I sometimes wonder if it could be considered as "secret".

Oddly enough the only Indian weapons without this kind of screw-in dagger - at least I've never seen pictures of any - are the various styles of mace, and I have no idea why.

This axe also has a built-in gun...

...although since the axe-head is mounted alongside the barrel, it's more a gun with a built-in axe.

Obviously the screw-in dagger trick won't work with a sword, since its tang is in the way, but there are other methods; for instance here's a khanda broadsword with a katar punch-dagger that clips to one side, and a single-shot gun built into the other.

That katar could have had more features itself: a couple more pistols...

...or a hand-guard and a couple more blades...

...or a hand-guard and a LOT more blades...

...though now we're into hard-to-wear territory, also Just Showing Off.

Even a plain-seeming katar might not be as plain as all that, with a scissors mechanism turning one blade into three...

...or into two blades and a gun.

I've mentioned more than once that anyone creating a fantasy weapon should check out what Indian weaponsmiths did for real - and this post hasn't even touched on how they put sword-hilts on things that weren't swords, or made blades in weird shapes Because They Could.

I've blogged about both in the past, so take a look... :->

[beefrobeefcal]

Like a Cigar feat. Max Phillips x menstruating!f!reader

Summary: You have cramps and Max has a holistic way that might help.

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader | Rating: Explicit 18+ (MDNI) | Word Count: 3,879

Content Warnings: dubcon (bc vampires and their hypnosis), reader is a menstruating person, period sex, poor managerial skills, if he were her boss there would be hr concerns, p in the v sex, neck biting, blood

Author's Notes: This came about from a discussion about periods on discord and this is dedicated to @noxturnalpascal and @strang3lov3's cat, Gizmo.

Thank you to @strang3lov3 and @noxturnalpascal for cultivating this with me, and to @bitchesuntitled and @jennaispunk for their eyes and love.

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“Dammit.”, you swore under your breath as you dug around in the cabinet under the bathroom sink.

Only one regular tampon and one panty liner were not enough to get you through the night. The iron-rich flood that was about to destroy your underwear had arrived and you were not prepared.

Moving out of your ex’s apartment and having to start again in a city you didn’t know was hard enough, but realizing at 2 am that you had no period products when all the signs and your health app had warned you this was coming nearly had you on the verge of tears.To top it off, you had nothing to dull the twisting aches of pain but an old sock and maybe some rice to MacGyver a heating pad. 

You hastily shoved in your final tampon, slapped the panty liner in your underwear, put on some old sweatpants, grabbed your keys and headed out to your car.

+++++

The speakers in the 24-hr Walgreens were blown out, causing John Dever’s Suzanne’s Song to sound like two sick frogs singing along to a car occasionally backfiring. 

The cramps had really hit you hard en route, and you shuffled slowly to the Feminine Hygiene aisle. Turning the corner down that aisle, you saw a man. An extraordinarily well-dressed man at 2:16 am in a Walgreens. 

You’d assumed that you would have seen a staff member or maybe another uterus-haver being in the aisle, but not this. The man turned from examining a pack of ULTRA tampons in his large hand and smiled wide, toothy grin and nodded at you. If you weren’t so exhausted and hurting, you would have been creeped out, or at least slightly unnerved, but in your iron-deficient and cramp-fueled haze, you nodded sluggishly and turned to face the wall of catch-it-all and plug-it-up products. 

Your brain ignored the man and focused all your energy on picking the products you needed, bending slightly forward to try and lessen the pain in your abdomen. It wasn’t until you heard the deep inhale beside you that you clued into how close the man was standing to you now. 

“Can I help y-”

“You’re bleeding.”

His tone was low and blunt, and carried the sound of the grin on his clean shaven face. 

“Excuse me?” You turned to him with a wary scowl, feeling the inherent feminine rage start to boil up at his audacity. 

“I said you’re in pain.”, he responded in the same blunt, grin-fueled voice.

You narrowed your eyes at him. It was then you realized just how well dressed he was; a light gray three-piece suit with a butter-yellow dress shirt underneath the vest. The gold cufflinks and rings styled him expertly and his hair was perfectly coiffed in a short, neat cut. He was extremely overdressed for the occasion of meeting you amongst the pads and tampons at this time of night.

“Who the fuck are y-”

“A period expert.”, he said while flashing a perfect smile at you.

You felt like you were about to be sold a used car with sawdust in the gas tank.

“A period expert?”

“Well, more of an expert in blood, but periods fall under the umbrella. And guessing by your being here at this hour, and you-”, he raised his brow and looked you over, his eyes darkened as he subtly flicked his tongue and wetted his bottom lip. “You look to be in the throes of Mother Nature’s cruelty.”

You took the lord’s name in vain under your breath and turned back to the neon coloured boxes of overpriced and taxed tampons, and clenched your jaw. You were not in the mood.

“I can help.”

“I’m sure you think that.”, you grunted through your clenched teeth. 

You heard him hum a slight laugh; whether it was authentic or not, you couldn’t tell. What you could tell was that he was getting closer. As you squatted down, trying to alleviate your cramps and scope out the bottom shelf, his shoes stepped into your peripherals. 

You stood up with an irritated sigh, and as you were about to turn to face him, to tell him to back the fuck off, you stopped. Or you were stopped. Stopped by some unseen force, making it harder to access your freewill. 

“I can help.”

The smooth, deliberate tone was behind you and close enough that each syllable came with a breath that moved the hair at the base of your head, causing your body to erupt in a wave of goosebumps. Any and all irritation faded, and your senses dulled slightly. A warm, euphoric haze curled itself around you and all you heard was his words I can help bounce softly around your skull. From the corner of your eye, you vaguely noticed his hand moving in a slow, twirling motion. 

His hands softly held your arms, just below your shoulders, softly squeezing and rubbing them soothingly, and he leaned in, taking in a deep breath. 

“God dammit, you smell good. You smell like you’re in desperate need of some help and I am just the guy for you, sweetheart.”

“What are you - a… a gynecologist?” Your words were slightly drawn out, and to you, they sounded like they were spoken into an echo chamber.

“No. Not at all. Not a medical professional, but you could say I take a holistic interest in all things blood. And you’re full of it.” His voice sounded like it was eons away, echoing through space and time towards you, but based on his touch and the breath on your neck, you knew he was close. But the fog you were in made it easy enough for you not to care. 

“My name is Max. Max Phillips, and I am going to help you, sweetheart.”

You sluggishly opened your mouth to say your name but he tsk’d you. “No… I don’t care about your name. I care about the current state you’re in.”

Max’s hand moved around your front to your lower abdomen and he pushed down with his palm. You let out a long, slow breath mixed with a groan, and he huffed a low chuckle into your ear. 

“I know, sweetheart.” The mock pout on his face came though in his voice. “ It hurts, but I’m gonna fix this for you.”

His voice, his words, and his weird twirly hand movements had you sink further into the fog and it felt like a fever dream. Max seemed to move faster than your eyes could process it, flitting to the front and returning with a shopping cart, then loaded it up with what seemed like one of every kind, size, colour, and brand of period products - a smile on his face the whole time. You watched as Max walked behind the pharmacy counter with no objection from the staff, almost like they couldn’t see him, and he loaded up a white, prescription paper bag with several large scoops of acetaminophen and ibuprofen tablets. He then led you to the till where he paid for a ridiculously huge variety of pads and tampons, and some cheap chocolate from the impulse area by the registers.You carried a paper bag full of the painkillers as Max ushered you out into the parking lot, towards the backseat of his vehicle. But the whole thing felt like you were watching it unfold from above your own body and not actually participating. 

Once you were seated in the back Max got in on the other side and flashed you another megawatt smile. 

“Okay.”, he said with a gusto and slapped his hands together. “Let’s get started.”  

He pulled the sack of pills out of your hand and tossed them into the front seat, along with the bags of items. In one swift motion, he grabbed your calf, turned and pushed you down, and your neck and head were at an awkward angle, butted up against the door handle and window

The haze that had enveloped you was lifting and the reality of the situation you were in was drawing on you. 

“What the fu-”

“You’re fine.” Max’s tone was as sharp as the pad of his finger pressed into the crotch of your sweatpants. 

“You’re fine, sweetheart. I’m just helping.” His dismissive and snide tone began to push you back into that fog, but this time, you tried to fight it. 

You tried to sit up, but his deep brown eyes seemed to darken into the shadows the streetlights threw over him. You stilled, your limbs feeling heavier as you stared into his eyes, dulling your senses so you could only focus on him. A car honked loudly at the intersection in front of the Walgreens’ parking lot, but to you, the sound of it was muted and dulled, and far away. You laid back again, neck and head squished up against the door, as he maintained eye contact.

“That’s a good girl. No need to fight it. I’m gonna make it all better.”

And you trusted him to do it. For some unknown, god-forsaken reason you trusted him. 

In one quick movement, your sweatpants and underwear were down to your ankles. He hummed and his tongue jutted out the corner of his mouth as he struggled to get the second pantleg over your Birkenstocks. 

“There we go.” Max tossed your clothing into the front seat and looked down at your core. 

He reached forward and gave the now-rust coloured tampon cord a tug, seemingly trying to gauge how easily it could be removed.

When you made a small noise expressing your concern, his eyes darted up to yours. “Knock it off. I’m helping you, remember?”

His hand moved up your thigh, roughly digging his fingers into your skin to keep you still, and his other moved back down between your legs then tugged the tampon out of you. He smiled as he held it up, noting how weighed down it was already with your blood and he placed it on the centre console. His finger then came in contact with your copper-toned nub. Rubbing small circles, he looked up at you and leaned in slightly, his non-occupied hand moving in a slow circular motion in the air.

“Fuck…”, you managed to breathe out. Your own voice once again sounded foreign and far away.

He smiled at you with a tooth-filled, smug smile, and you watched as fangs appeared, lengthening his canines, and your immediate slight panic was tampered down by a well duh! feeling. Between the fog and his cool finger pad drawing tight, soft circles on your clit, you let the ebb and flow of the situation take over.

“Good. You got it. Just helping you out, sweetheart.”

Max pushed his middle finger into your wet, hot heat, eliciting a gasping soft moan. 

He smiled and wiggled the tip of his finger inside you. “You’re too easy, Bloody Mary.”

Before you could answer, he pulled his finger out, pushed you further up against the door and crowded himself up against you; the angle your neck was at should have hurt, but whatever spell he had you under had you not caring about your current circumstances, and it also seemed to be dulling your pain. He pressed his body down on yours, his nose buried into your neck, and inhaled again. He groaned, his eyes rolling up into his head, then took one of your ear lobes into his mouth, gently sucking it.

You let out a sigh that made your body feel like a deflated mylar balloon, just barely floating along. But as Max became more engrossed in your scent, specifically your out-in-the-open penny-flavoured pussy, his control over you began to slip. The feeling of him sucking and licking and nipping at your ear and neck started to lose its muted sensation, and the haze that had wrapped itself around your mind was lifting. The clarity you suddenly felt as more than one of his fingers pushed into your hole made you suck in a staggered breath. He lazily pumped his fingers in time with the licks and sloppy open mouth kisses he lavished your ear and neck with. 

Despite that clarity, you couldn’t stop him. He sounded so… euphoric. His moans and his grunts and his groans, hums and small huffs of delight were hypnotic all on their own. That and you had never had someone seem so engrossed in having you lay starfish and make you cum. At least, your ex wasn’t like that - he’d haphazardly finger you with untrimmed nails and rub your clit raw, spend three minutes panting and whining in your ear as his dick missed your hole like a fly not being able to find a window and then crowed like a rooster when he came… why did I stay with him? you thought.

Max seemed to sense your mind wandering to past events and he lifted himself, hovering over your cramped up torso against the car door. His furrowed brow seemed exaggerated by the shadows being draped over him, and the dim light of the streetlight outside casted eye shines on his black orbs. His fingers continued to piston in and out of you harshly. The discomfort of his rhythm paled in comparison to the outright pain of the cramps that had your uterus in a vice. 

“Turn off your fucking brain or I’ll do it for you.”

You swallowed and nodded as best as you could with your chin crunched down against your chest, and he lowered himself back down, resuming his mouth’s work on your neck, and you felt a slight sting. You let out a soft moan, and in response he licked where his teeth had grazed you then hummed and  grunted as he kissed and sucked the spot, the vibrations adding to the stimulation on your neck. As soon as you started to let yourself get lost in euphoria, you could feel your orgasm building. 

“I can feel it”, he hummed, bringing his face to yours. “Can feel her quivering and shaking…”

You let out a panting mewl as his breath huffed over your face in a laugh. You clenched on his fingers and wanted to grab him to ground your body, but you couldn’t. It was like you had no control over anything but your breathing and everything was tingling with pins and needles, completely useless to you. 

“Good… finally. Jesus, took your fucking time.”, Max said, rolling his eyes. He pulled out his fingers and shoved his fingers into his mouth, humming satisfied, and closed his eyes in relishment.

It was so abrupt. He took away his hand before you had fully come down and you looked up at him confused as he sucked on his fingers. His brows raised and his other hand came up, making a circular motion, telling you to get a move on with… something?

“Wha–”

“My fucking pants! These are a cashmere-wool blend and I saw the Wal-Mart brand, multipack underwear you were wearing, Bloody Mary - I know you can’t afford my dry cleaner!”

You stared up at him like he had three heads, not putting the pieces together.

He leaned forward and his voice dropped into a low, menacing tone. “I am not going to fuck you with my pants on, Bloody Mary. My hand is a fucking mess because of you so make with the no pants.”

“Shit…”, you muttered as you sat up, shaky hands pulling open the dark, expensive looking belt. “Do you want to have anything else taken off? Like your shirt or vest?”

He rolls his eyes and shrugs off his overcoat, then his suit jacket, then muttered, “You deal with the fucking buttons.” He opened his hands to indicate he was talking about his vest, impatiently raising his eyebrows to tell you he was waiting.

With your shaky fingers on his buttons, you clumsily opened one at a time. The bliss from your previous orgasm had subsided and the cramps in your abdomen came roaring back along with a wave of hot nausea. Max groaned in irritation and impatience, watching your face contort. His hand snaked around to the back of your head and gripped your hair.

Yanking down, he forced your face up to look at his. The shadows cast across this face seemed deeper, highlighting every crease and fold in his skin as he scowled at you. “Focus. I’m doing you a favour, sweetheart.”

You felt the warm, liquidy feeling begin to ebb and flow over your mind again as you stared into his eyes and your hands seemed to be under his control, deftly unbuttoning his vest and dress shirt. He still held you by the back of your head, hair scruffed like you were a feral cat and not a docile, hypnotized, bleeding human.

Once Max had his smooth abdomen on display, your hands moved back down to his pants, unbuttoning them then pulling the zipper down, getting a peak at the pair of dark blue - with little red umbrellas - European style briefs underneath. Under his control, you tugged them down, showcasing the impressive outline of his semi-hard cock. You raised a brow as you gazed down from the awkward angle from which he held your head and made a complimentary ‘huh’. Even if the circumstances were different, you’d have a hard time kicking him out for eating crackers in bed. 

“Take a fucking picture next time, Mary.”

Your eyes jumped up to him and he scowled at you impatiently. 

“My dick could be out, rammed into your bloody slash, kicking your cramp’s ass, but you’re being pretty fucking ineffective with your and my time.”, Max snarled. “So knock off the ogling and get back to work!”

The tone at which he barked reminded you of the manager you had when you were 15 with your first summer job at McDonald’s. He had chastised you for cooking the fries too long and berated you in front of the entire crew on your shift, and left you in tears, sobbing on the dirty staff bathroom floor. This time though, the beratement made your hole twitch and ooze, and heat bloomed in your pelvis. 

On your own volition, you pulled down his underwear to where his pants had landed mid-thigh and tugged both the rest of the way to his knees. Even though you were working as quickly as you could given the cramped conditions and the weird hold he had on the back of your head, Max still seemed to think you were moving too slowly and he shoved you back against the door and grabbed your leg at the knee, yanking your crimson core towards him. 

“Finally.”, he grunted as he lined himself up and sunk into you. He wasn’t the biggest you’d had but he was thick and it felt amazing juxtaposed to the cramps. He let out a deep, low groan as his dick disappeared into you, feeling the hot, slick grip you had on him once he was fully seated in you. 

“Please… fuck-move…”, you moaned, you eyes closed and brows pinched.

“Thank fuck you have manners.”, Max muttered as he started to slowly pull out and then push back in.

He kept the slower pace and at first you thought it was for your benefit, until you opened your eyes a crack then jumped - Max was staring at you intensely, mouth pulled into a tight frown. He looked like he was concentrating hard on something. He noticed you looking at him and he narrowed his eyes.

“Pacing yourself is important.”, he grunted out through clenched teeth. “It’s a good strategy in 

not overwhelming yourself… and- fuck…” He stopped and worked to regain his composure. “And it’s effective to do something at a steady speed so you don-don’t get tired.”

Beyond the steady, rhythmic pace at which he repeatedly impaled you, his words made you want to recoil from him. He sounded as if Patrick Bateman wrote a ‘how to’ guide for managerial sex. It was clear he was enjoying this far more than he wanted to let on and his ‘pace’ was him trying not to blow his load quickly…

Which lead your thoughts down a tangent: do vampires have loads to blow? Is it like you imagined Edward Cullen’s cum being glitter glue-esque when you were 18? Was it like that neon green slime you saw at the Dollar Store? Was it just like regular cum but maybe Count Chocula flavoured?

Your thoughts were interrupted by the pinch you felt on the inside of your thigh and you caught Max glaring to you while he kept pace, 

“Am I boring you?”, he spat out venomously. “I’m doing this for your fucking benefit, you know…”

You started to get lost in his eyes again, missing out on his face contorting as his features became gargoyle-esque. You only noticed when he began to quicken his thrust, becoming harsher and he leaned down almost nose to nose. The menacingly intimate proximity made your cunt tighten and flutter, bringing you right to the edge of another orgasm.

Before you could react, his face moved fast to your neck and he bit down. That was all you needed to set off the stick of dynamite in your pussy and you came hard, flooding any crevice or space that existed between you with your crimson tide. 

Max released his bite and pulled back, mouth red, wet and dripping.  “I bet you’re one of those leftists who just fucking loves unions.”, Max growled lowly, keeping up his brutal pace as he fucked you through your orgasm.

You have no idea why, but you nodded in response, panting a breathy, pained “Yes!” as you shook and cried out. His eyes rolled back and let out a groan turned high-pitched whine and stilled as he arched his hips into you, unloading whatever mystery goo vampires jizz. 

Whatever vulnerability you thought might come post-vampiric sex never came, and before you could crawl out of the haze your mind was in, Max was wiping his crotch with your discarded leggings then fixing his pants and dress shirt. Then he was shimming your panty liner-saddled underwear and now-sticky leggings back on you. He opened the car door behind him, got out and walked around the vehicle. The door you were butted up against opened, and you fell back against him, and Max’s arms hooked under your shoulders and pulled you out, unceremoniously dropping you on your ass. He turned back to the car, pulling out the bags of pads and tampons he'd gotten and the paper bag of painkillers and threw them at you.

“There. All fucking better.”

Stunned, you watched him get into the driver’s seat and made the engine roar to life. He hit the gas and drove forward to the end of the lot then turned around. As he passed you to get to the exit, you watched as he picked up your bloody tampon and put it in his mouth like a cigar.

****

A month later, you woke up to the telltale twinge that heralded your period and as you rummaged under the sink through the ridiculous amounts of period products, you wondered if you should make a trip to Walgreens. 

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[mostlywhump]

The wildest ep of the Macgyver reboot

Sometimes I think fondly about Macgyver (2016) season 3 episode 13 Wilderness + Training + Survival....and how absolutely batshit this episode was. If the creators had decided to confidently maintain these chaos levels, I think the show would have been better and had a longer run in general (but that's just my opinion).

Some random insane details that got fully brushed over but make me lose my mind every time:

Mac actively choosing to bring no emergency supplies out of pure god complex.

That time the bad guy leader tore Mac's beanie off and grabbed him by the hair sexual-style. Absolutely no other character has thought to grab Mac by the hair in the original show or the reboot like wtf

EDIT I've been reminded by some friendly reblogs that hair-pulling happens in a couple other episodes. Regardless, it cracks me up every single time. The guy seems to do it out of pure frustration and that is so funny to me.

Riley wearing acrylics into the wilderness

The bad guy just up and massacred his entire squad so he wouldn't have to share the money. Like he just shot them all in cold blood. That's some GOT shit.

Mac getting shot in the thigh from like two inches away and not having his entire femur shattered.

Riley and Bozer running into a clearing scattered with dead bodies?? With Mac bleeding out (?) in the middle?? No questions asked.

At least two of the bad guys were SEVERELY injured and they just got left to die in the absolute middle of nowhere after all that emphasis on how dangerous the wilderness is lmfao

RILEY WEARING ACRYLICS INTO THE WILDERNESS

Bozer being totally confused by the word yarrow implying that he did literally none of the reading.

That one guy who was blinded by burning poison oak and left to die in the woods

Mac doing math and science word problems outloud while a group of murdering criminals stare at him in confusion

Why did he have a random hillbilly friend in the mountains

Why did he suddenly have a pickup truck for the occasion

anyway i miss Macgyver and i wish it would come back RIP ok bye

[caffetato-the-caffeinated-potato]

*at the time of Ninja-monium (my wip Ninjago x RotTMNT crossover fic)

Behold! Some of my Jay headcanons! I don't know yet how many of these will be relevant in Ninja-monium, but coming up with these headcanons is a fun way to personalize the character to my writing style, so expect more of these headcanon sheet thingies for the other main characters in Ninja-monium!

Some extra headcanons I couldn't fit on the sheet:

Ed and Edna are extremely (borderline overbearingly) supportive of Jay's transition, and always have been. Edna is the type of person who would go to pride events wearing a 'free mom hugs' T-shirt and I will d i e on that hill.

Jay deliberately chose a punny name (Jay Walker = jaywalking) and is still very proud of himself for it.

Building off of his S4 line "You should never swear. It's a sign of weak verbal skills," Jay doesn't swear. Instead, he likes to come up with very creative and often ridiculous alternatives. (You know that vine that goes "That hurt like a buttcheek on a stick?" That's the kind of vibe I'm picturing)

Many of the team are explicitly good at building things, but they each have their own specialties. Jay's if twofold; being the master of lightning gives him a very intuitive knowledge on how electronics work, and his experience growing up in a junkyard gave him good out-of-the-box thinking skills. He could probably find a way to MacGyver things out of the most unorthodox materials better than any other ninja.

[mapplestrudel]

I was tagged by @h3r0-hunter so let‘s do this, too!

Tagging some folks, but of course feel free to ignore <3 @c-qcat @waitinginthepen @lunetta-suzie-jewel @vodehan @leiyahime @bronzeagelove @katschy

[aceofwhump]

You said you had some original MacGyver fic recs? 👀

I have a few! There are definitely not enough though. I'm in such desperate need for original MacGyver fanfics. Here are some I've enjoyed:

The Hermit, a MacGyver story By: judybear236 Summary: When our favorite troubleshooter is injured, who is this suspicious man who comes to his aid? Is he to be trusted?

Second Chance By: Lauren.MacFan Summary: Missing scene from "The Stringer". . . Mac has a restless night after being released from the hospital.

MacGyver-Style Napping by: GriffinStone Summary: Chaos tends to follow MacGyver wherever he goes. With the nonstop action, he sometimes has to get a little creative about how he gets his rest.

Breaking Point By: MacsBluegirl Summary: Original MacGyver - How much pressure is needed to tear a friendship apart - and what does it take to restore it? Takes place soon after "The Wasteland" - Be warned of some serious MacWhump, especially in the first chapters. I already published this story at the MacGyveronline library and the RDA-forum - this is a slightly revised version - only minor changes though

Sudden Silence By: Dana Knight (DanaKnight_memorial), DanaKnight_memorial Summary: MacGyver is deafened in an explosion. He has to figure out who's responsible and why, and stay alive. Is his deafness temporary or permanent?

[rosieblogstuff]

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

44 😲 in my main AO3 account. 2 others in my older account = 46!

I didn't realize I had that many things!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

270,883

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All 44 of those works in my main AO3 are MacGyver 2016. One is a crossover with The Rookie. The other two at Star Trek TOS and Star Wars fics.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Table + Flashlight + IEDs

Mac + (Wilderness + Training + Survival) + Jack

Lost Causes

Lake + Stick + Fever

4 Times the LAPD Didn’t Pull Jack Over + 1 Time They Did 

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I often respond to a chapter's comments when I post the next chapter of a longfic. And sometimes I just space on it and respond a year later when I notice I failed to respond.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh definitely my X-ray + Penny flashfic, Bad Penny. Most of the comments are variations on HOW DARE YOU!!!

There are a couple other flashfics with pretty ambiguous endings, too.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a hard one. Most of my fics have a happy or at least comforty ending. Maybe... uhh.... Electricity + Combustion ? which I literally labeled "whump with a fluffy ending". I also have two Jack Lives fics so that's always a happy situation at the end...

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't. A few weird comments but I mostly scratch my head and ignore them. Anybody who hates on my fics will be getting a very long and nasty reply, followed by their comment being deleted.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, no smutty fanfics here. I did have a romance I posted for another fandom awhile back (and never finished), and I've written fade-to-black stuff in my orig fic novels.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Just one! My Macgyver 2016+The Rookie cops-vs-spies crossover, in which some LAPD officers keep coming across a black GTO involved in shenangains around LA: 4 Times the LAPD Didn’t Pull Jack Over + 1 Time They Did

It's probably the funniest thing I've ever written, and the ending is one of my very favorites. Also possibly the only gen fic ever posted in The Rookie fandom, although I don't look over there much.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. Somebody stole all my completed fics from FF.net last year. There was a big Tumblr post about some site full of stolen fics, and sure enough, there mine were. I asked to have them remove, got not reply. I haven't posted anything to FF.net since then.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but not for a long time. I used to frequently co-write fics in my first fandom.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm going to go with Washington State Ferry M/V Wenatchee. Who doesn't love a good ferry boat? It's an irconic style, fun if you're walking on, handy if you need to drive on, saves you hours of driving around Puget Sound by land. Also just a very nice-looking ship.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Ugh, wow. I have a couple dozen things I kinda like but might never finish. My favorite, and least likely because I've made the least progress on it, is a MacGyver fic about Patti having plotted out her revenge better, and tring to fuck over the team by having listed Jack as her replacement... which of course gives him access to high-level secrets like Oversight's identity. Much drama ensues.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Ramping a story up. Characters. Make a story fully story-shaped.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings. 😫

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Hmmm I don't think I've ever needed to. Like most things in writing, I'm not against it in theory, but it can be done well or badly.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Anne McCaffrey's Pern, back in the paper fanzine days. Prior to joining AO3 in like 2019, I had 0 fanfics posted on the internet but a few in zines listed on Ebay. 😂

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

This is IMPOSSIBLE to answer. I could answer it differently every day for the next couple weeks. Anything I already mentions plus a couple more!

[liobi]

about that director's commentary thing

i'm curious if there's anything on that scene in the beginning of always where lappland has a weirdly charged discussion with kal'tsit in her room

Oooo, The beginning of always!

Background on this fic, I cannibalized two other WIPs that got incredibly jossed by the release of Il Siracusano (One of them a TexLappSora fic where Lappland took Popukar to a concert of her favorite idol, only to discover that under the lupo disguise, Sora was the little bunny girl whose journalist father Lappland had offed under her and Texas's boss's orders. She had let the little girl who witnessed the deed go, but their boss found out and ordered Texas to liquidate Lappland leading to her expulsion and infection). But anyways, on to the setup!

Both Lappland and Kal'tsit care deeply for the vulnerable. We see as much any time they are the focus of various events, but they go about it in different ways. Kal'tsit is methodical, scheming, and uses her long life and connections to accomplish her needs. She's got plans upon plans, irons in the fire galore, a Machiavellian master sitting atop a mountain of fallen foes and destroyed obstacles.

Lappland on the other hand is a bundle of unrestrained id, packaged and fired like a bullet on a path set by either herself or others, a genius at improvising and legitimately charismatic, if only used to get under people's skin. Lappland is the MacGyver of mob heroes. Lappland is also very consciously trying to be the opposite of her father. It's why i think under the right circumstances she'd be good with kids actually!

While she may believe that once she returns to Siracusa she will be helpless but to eventually become what she fears, in the meanwhile she is fighting tooth and nail to be kind and friendly and open to anyone that will have her (despite everyone thinking she's got sixteen layers of malicious plans and mindgames going on), but also she kinda sucks! She DOES sometimes have sixteen layers of malicious plans and mindgames going on! She CAN be mean and kinda nasty in fact she intentionally digs into people's sore spots constantly! She contains multitudes.

So with the fact that Kal'tsit and Lappland have opposite styles of operating, it's only natural that Lappland sees at least on a superficial level some similarities between Kal'tsit and her father.

Kal'tsit is also super hot and manipulative and leaves nothing to chance so!

PREAMBLE OVER, ON TO THE SCENE ITSELF

~

Lappland had no idea how much of this was actually Dr. Kal’tsit and how much was a carefully constructed facade to convince other people she was just like them.

Kal’tsit motioned across the room. “Sit where you like.”

Some small part of Lappland wondered where exactly the night would go if she chose to sit on the bed.

~

Right from the get-go Kal'tsit has the intention of measuring Lappland's... everything. Looking for any foothold that will give her power over the negotiation, some way to maneuver Lappland into giving her exactly what she wants; a teacher for Popukar who can handle the little berserker and an operator with a talent for improvising and resourcefulness that would absolutely be willing to cross names off a list if Kal'tsit needed her to.

The conversation is a game of chess, of battleship, right from the start and they both know it. Lappland thinks back to the mafia sit-downs her father brought her to for a reason! This is one, in its own way.

On top of all this, we know from Il Siracusano that Lappland despite everything still wants her father's approval and affection. So when she's confronted with a woman who on a surface level reminds her of her father who is not so subtly asking if she wants to get into bed, she's gonna have a boner that's hard (lol) for her to examine all at once (lolol).

The rest of the scene really consists of them testing the water, trying to gauge where the other person is at and what they're getting out of it. Lappland is set up to both care about kids and also Amiya, and Kal'tsit cares about both of her daughters and keeping Rhodes Island alive and running and sometimes you need assassins and terrorists to do that. So they find somewhere in the middle to meet and Lappland doesn't rip her stitches because of ill-advised sex.

[wesleysniperking]

Straw Hat real world Fighting Styles/Martial Arts (TL;DR)

I was on Reddit a while back and someone asked what Martial Arts each Straw Hat would practice in real life, here’s a person’s take (it’s posted below—at the very end).

For the most part I was okay with it. EXCEPT for Usopp’s!

It was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo half-a**ed. I understand the person may have been joking or completely serious, but guess what? As an Usopp fan that sh*t hit like whiplash. Therefore, I want to explain what Usopp’s fighting style/martial arts would be (especially if Usopp didn’t have a weapon like everyone is so focused on when determining his style). And I’m going to say it would consist of:

Model Mugging, MacGyver-ing, and a little bit of Krav Maga. Any normal everyday average person can do each one. It’s relatable (Usopp is the normal guy) given people want to learn an easy or the most effortless self defense. Especially if that person has a butt load of intelligence, street smarts, an avoidance problem, and high self preservation.

Model Mugging

Why? Because Model Mugging was made for normal everyday people who want to prevent assault and to fight off the person who is attempting the assault.

This is what Wikipedia says:

“Model Mugging attempts to turn the adrenaline reaction to an active response rather than a fear response through simulated attacks and group talk sessions.”

Usopp works well under pressure, is intelligent, and all about self perseverance. He often tries to fight against his fear and anxiety. The origin of the fighting style is an unfortunate tale but if you read the origin you’d understand how Model Mugging is made for the every-day person. It’s very convenient and easy to learn (if we’re talking strictly fighting).

(It’s literally a basic self-defense course you’d take at a community center or your nearest YMCA).

MacGuyver-ing

This is reference to a TV show and character named MacGyver who used his surroundings and cleverness to fight off culprits and the bad guys. He’s a very good engineer (sound familiar?) and is very intelligent. Ironically, he didn’t believe in guns (😉). Regardless, it’s not like Oda ever uses Usopp’s weaponry skills to his advantage.

I was reading an article and the author put it the best way possible:

“To MacGyver from a martial arts sense is to find a way to work around whatever problem or situation that we have which is confronting us. In MacGyver-ing there is no blueprint, so it is really a mindset.”

Usopp works well under pressure, is good at mind games, and telling from the Chew fight, Miss Merry Christmas and Mr. 4 fight, and Perona fight, that’s as McGyver-ing as you can get. This article really brings it home the best. (Please read!).

Overall, McGyver-ing fits Usopp because the fighting style is all about preservation, improvisation, and using unorthodox/unlikely weapons (all about the environment).

Krav Maga

Basically Usopp’s overall fighting style would consist of defensive (on defense). Let’s just get that out the way.

The redditor didn’t think of that it seems.

So, Krav Maga is something that Usopp would have to will himself to learn based on whatever purpose. They say Krav Maga is easy to learn but hard to master. But anyone (of any shape, size, and form) can learn Krav Maga. It focuses solely on real world situations. Usopp doesn’t need anything flashy, he wouldn’t feel the need to do anything more besides to use it to fight off people who are trying to harm him (so he can run the heck away), and this Wikipedia article puts it best:

“Like most martial arts, Krav Maga encourages students to avoid physical confrontation.[5] If this is impossible or unsafe, it promotes finishing a fight as quickly and aggressively as possible. Attacks are aimed at the most vulnerable parts of the body, and training is not limited to techniques that avoid severe injury; some even permanently injure or cause death to the opponent.”

So, alkair20 could’ve taken more time to consider Usopp’s martial art/fighting style. Sure, Usopp’s all about weaponry (that’s where MacGyver comes in), but he’s also about improvisation and using the environment to his advantage. He’s always on the defense and finding the easiest way out (Model Mugging and Krav Maga). So he can still use his Usopp hammer, Usopp dash, etc etc because it’s his defense.

(Heck, if you want to go for fictional martial arts, Ninjitsu isn’t entirely as legit as people make it out to be, unlike Naruto, people back then in ancient times considered it cowardly. You ambush people, hide in the shadows, and use shurikens and rope darts)

🥷🏽🥷🏽🥷🏽

Alas, extremely disappointed in the lack of effort. What the heck is Nanto Bakusatsu Ken? What an insult.

Seriously, a fictional fighting style that requires one move is all you’ve got? alkair20.

Reddit post

Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Usopp fan club (join if you want to)