#what item would you steal poll

[mapplestrudel]

I was tagged by @h3r0-hunter so let‘s do this, too!

Tagging some folks, but of course feel free to ignore <3 @c-qcat @waitinginthepen @lunetta-suzie-jewel @vodehan @leiyahime @bronzeagelove @katschy

[raspberriesss]

Thinking about Simon seeing you in his clothes.

Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You couldn’t help but slip on one of Simon’s t-shirts once in a while, they were just so comfortable. The fabric hung loosely over your body, hitting just about the top of your thighs. You knew it didn’t bother him when you would sneak and borrow a shirt, matter of fact, it didn’t bother him at all.

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It was the evening. The sun had begun to set, golden rays of light shining through the kitchen window as you finished cleaning the last of the dirty dishes. Simon was out, picking up a few things from the grocery store for the upcoming week.

There you stood in front of the sink, wearing one of Simon’s t-shirts, the not-quite-long-enough length making any slight raise of your arms reveal the fabric of your panties. Music blasted into your ears through your earbuds, lips murmuring out the lyrics of the song playing.

The slight vibration of footsteps on the tile floor made you flinch suddenly, head turning to see Simon just a few feet away, plastic grocery bags in hand as he stared you down. You wiped one of your wet hands on the dish towel resting over your shoulder, taking out an earbud. “What’s wrong?” You said, seeing how he was seemingly just staring you down.

“It’s nothing,” he seemed to choke out, chocolate brown eyes looking you up and down. You gazed at him suspiciously before returning to your previous task. While you washed up the dishes he put away the groceries, occasionally stealing unnecessary touches across your waist.

“Just gotta get past you here, love,” he’d murmur out, his large hand squeezing the side of your waist as he put various boxes away into an overhead cabinet. You were soon done with the dishes, helping put away the remaining groceries.

Strong arms wrapped around your waist from behind as you went to grab the last item to put away. “Lookin’ s’ good right now,” he murmured out against your ear, teeth nibbling against your earlobe gently. Your cheeks flushed at his sudden affection, swallowing thickly. His rough hand moved down to the edge of your his shirt, fingers bunching it up slightly.

His cool fingers traced along the edge of your panties, fingers dipping slightly under the fabric, your breath hitching in your throat. “Si,” you breathed out faintly, one of your hands going to rest over his on your waist. “Look so good in my clothes, sweets, s’good,” he breathed out against your ear, nudging you forward gently, pressing you against the counter.

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Here's the fic from the poll, if anyone would like a part 2, please let me know!

Please feel free to leave requests! : ̗̀➛ 💌

[alistairsmonstercafe]

NSFW How to Gain the trust of a Dragon in the Dragons Den, Guide 02

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART ?

NOTICE; TOP/SWITCH Male Hybrid Reader

CHARACTER; BOTTOM/SUB Price, BOTTOM/SWITCH Soap,

CW; Threesome, slight choking? Hella horny dragon, body worship, praise, face sitting, fingering, ass eating, cock suckin' shit like that.

ADDITIONAL; I don't mind Fem/Fem aligned readers reading but don't feel insulted/complain that I strictly don't do Fem reader, not my cuppa tea mate.

INSPIRATION; @/Bluegiragi Monster AU on Twt and Tumblr & @/thegnomelord for the scale idea on tumblr.

NOTE; Accidentally posted the draft... | This will be a mini series staring our favorite little hybrids. Part ? Will be a poll of a repeat character or a non 141 character.

As Price paced outside the office, the temptation to peek behind that imposing door grew stronger. His hybrid instincts nudged him toward curiosity, but his rationality warned against it. He wasn't your mate. Not Soap's either. He'd be a prick if he suddenly barged in purely because he was a horny dragon, he hasn't felt the urge for a proper mate for years, but it was uncommon for species to crossbreed, or to even have packs, or other mates then one that weren't of the same species.

Yet, there was something magnetic about the possibility—a pull he couldn't quite resist. The thought flickered in his mind like a distant flame, leaving him torn between his innate curiosity and the risk.

And despite the gentle reach of his claw near the door, he didn't. He was old. Older then most of you, who would dare date a dragon of his age? Even people of his kind preferred dragons who could keep up with them, not groan at a sudden back pain or a weak knee. Nor the crowfeet on his eyes, signs of age in his face. His body was not as strong as in his younger days, and well, his stomach. It had a lot more pudge to it, something he'd never openly admit.

The following day, despite his position as captain, Price found himself stealing more glances at you and Soap, your little cuddles during lunch, or the way your tails intertwined. The soft cooing and purrs left to each other left him with want, tugging at the fringes of his thoughts. He couldn't shake off the inexplicable allure it held, even though he knew his authority wouldn't grant him it.

As he maneuvered through his duties, his mind kept circling back to you. He questioned his own reluctance to simply talk to you, push the conversation open. It wasn't about rules or permissions; it was a deeper, primal restraint holding him back, a fear of the unknown that clashed with his innate curiosity.

Yet, when he came back to his desk later that evening, he saw a small pile of, to what to most, would seem as mindless trinkets, was actually an abundance of jewels, some of his favorite coffee, tea, and a make shift.. Scale? No. That wouldn't make sense. He could recognize it as yours and Soap's fur. In the shape of a scale.

Were you lads trying to court him? A deep rumble erupted from his chest as he gently held up the item to his nose, his wings relaxing at the mixed scent. The scent of a mate, his instincts whispered. And he couldn't help but agree.

Tucking away the items he placed them in a small box on his shelf full of items he hoarded before. He couldn't have a huge hoard, so he did what he could. And turned the scale shaped fur, into a necklace he could wear on his chest. Closest to his heart. For he knew they had won it already.

It was the next day where you and Soap were idly chatting, he sat down infront of you, and slid over a scale cut perfectly down the middle for you two. You both easily looked up in shock, mouths open. "Wha- Cap'n- Does this mean-" Soap sputtered, and you were still quiet with your jaw still wide open.

"It does. Means it quite bloody clearly, Soap." He replies almost shyly, his firm voice is softened with love and affection as he smiles. Those beautiful crow lines appear once more and the sight of both of your tails swaying happily is a tell-tale sign hes done the right choice.

He's quick to get back up, walking to the door before stopping and turning back to say; "My room, at nine exactly. Alright?"

You're both quick to say yes and despite his cool demeanor as he leaves, Price feels hard as a rock as the first blooms of heat start back in his stomach. A feeling he hasn't felt in ages, but that can wait for later tonight. He wouldn't be a captain without all that self-discipline, after all.

So its when Price comes to the dark of his room, a little worn out, he surprised to suddenly see a nest, and you and Soap sitting on his bed with only the moon light to illuminate your features. And coo he does because he melts at the sight that you both waited for him.

You're the first to pull him in with a grin, your tail wrapping around his waist as you and Soap are quick to strip him down until hes left in a shirt and boxers. But hes quick to push you down onto your back in the nest as he sits on your lap, Soap he behind Price, kissing down his back as his tail wags.

But as you look up at Price, he looks like a beauty, and your hand gently traces down from his chin, to his toned yet supple and beautifuy scared chest, to his stomach, caressing the pudge as you whisper praise. And it. Makes Prices face burn with pride at the fact someone accepts him and his appearance, something he didn't think he'd be self conscious on.

Soap continues quick and sloppy kisses up his back, leaving soft nips and bites on him, leaving it mostly betweem you and Price. He loves both of you but you had both discussed the idea before. You wanted to pamper Price, and make him feel higher then cloud 9.

And you did, each kiss, and bite, began to switch as Price was switched around by Soap. And you easily pulled Price's hips towards you and kissed his ass, making Price groan in response. The sound cut short as Soap began to kiss him, stroking your cock in the meantime to keep you satisfied as well. It was his turn to assist.

"Fuck- Price- So fuckin' pretty for us." Soap groans out to price, and you can only agree, pressing kisses up his neck as his tail makes soft noises against the nest as it wags aggressively against it.

Price only moans a little, his hips still bucking into your mouth as your tongue is quick, and perfectly long enough to reach deep into him inside, his dragoh tail is quick to curl around your neck and slightly squeeze lovingly. The way you and Soap praise Price and his body makes him melt. Hes an old lad, scales of iron from how the world has hardened him and yet you make him so soft.

So loved.

So accepted.

He thought he was content with 141 but knowing that two of the members in it are his mates? He can only purr.

Its when Soap slides down and suck off Price whilst hes still sitting on your face does he lose it. Not knowing where to buck his hips either back and forth, and instead sways them. His claws tugging at Soaps hair and your hands wrapped tightly on his hips, bits of blood is evident from your claws but neither notice.

Its when you suddenly slide in a finger that Price goes almost limp, his tail squeezes a little tighter and his moans get louder. Damn the thin walls because tonight he knows hes going to be fucked well in his nest.

And in his eyes thats a night well spent.

Aftermath; By morning Gaz is the first of the 141 to complain. Small eyebags under his eyes as he stares at you, Soap, and Price.

"Fucked real good huh? Give me some earplugs next time alright?" He remarks, drinking some coffee, Ghost watches but said nothing. But theres something about the way his smoke slides up his arm at the words 'fucked', before sliding back down, gives you slight curiosity.

[devildom-moss]

April poll story

NSFW - Leviathan (yandere + degradation)

(Leviathan x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (slightly sub!Leviathan / dom!MC) (mutual masturbation; degradation for Levi; underwear stealing; pillow humping; no penetration; voyeurism; exhibitionism; olfactophilia; slight dacryphilia; jealous/possessive; slightly cruel MC) (yandere!Levi - but kinda light on the yandere)

Word Count: +2,600

Leviathan’s social battery had lucked out; he didn’t have any in-person classes to attend. He had some coursework to do online, but Levi had diligently completed it the night before in anticipation of getting to indulge in one of his favorite pastimes when he had the house to himself. And he was certainly in need of indulging himself today.

Usually, Levi was happy to not have to go to school, but the image of you walking to school with Asmo and Belphegor clinging to your arms while Mammon whined about it from close behind burned in his mind. Levi slammed the door shut behind him, seething with jealousy, as you all disappeared down the road.

Maybe his fantasies were too strong. Maybe it was all in his head, but it felt like you were supposed to belong to him – to be all his. No one else should touch you but him. He considered himself a gross shut-in, sure, but that only fed into his fantasies. Maybe he was so disgusting that his touch alone could taint you so that no one else would ever want you. Then, you’d have no choices left. You’d have to be his and his alone.

As the jealousy raged, Levi grew increasingly pent up. He quickly snuck into your room and located your hamper of dirty clothes. Right where it usually is, thank goodness. It was an awful habit of his: sneaking into your bedroom when no one was home and stealing a pair of your dirty underwear. He would always return them to the hamper after he was done with them – often slightly cleaner than when he had taken them – before you would do your laundry, so he had never been caught. Sometimes, when Levi wanted to get carried away, he would sink to his knees at your bedside and sniff your sheets, imagining all the things you might get up to in the middle of the night. Did you touch yourself often? Did you think about him at all when you did? Would you hate it if you knew how much he wanted you to use him to get yourself off? Other times, he would touch your personal items: innocent caresses over your pillows, holding your favorite shirt in his hands, tracing over the spine of the book you were reading last week. When he was feeling especially depraved, he might run his tongue along your toothbrush or grind his hips against your bath towel.

But today, he had only invaded your privacy to steal your underwear. I need this, he growled under his breath as he escaped to his room – too eager to even shut his door behind him. No one was going to be home for hours. Who was going to care?

Leviathan grabbed his body pillow and slipped your underwear onto them before tossing the pillow to the floor. The curve of his pillow was nothing compared to your body, but it would have to do. He sunk to the floor, hovering just over your underwear at the base of his pillow. A low growl left his lips as he picked up your scent. He couldn’t contain himself anymore.

Levi’s long tongue lolled out of his mouth and licked a slow, wet stripe along the crotch of your underwear as if he was trying to taste you. His tongue slipped beneath the fabric, licking and searching for any morsel of you he could get. Saliva coated the crotch on both sides, and Levi had spent nearly an hour and a half just licking and smelling your used underwear before he finally sat up. His jaw was starting to ache and the scent of you mixed with his saliva was intoxicating. He wanted – needed – more.

A stupid grin was plastered on Levi’s face as he bent back over, pressing his cheek to your underwear, and quickly slid his pants down just enough to expose his own underwear. He was hard and aching, with a prominent damp stain.

“Look. Look at what you’re doing to me, MC,” Levi whined against your underwear before placing a kiss over the fabric. He sat up and inched closer until he could rub his clothed cock over your underwear. It was almost as if he was dry humping you – or at least that was what he wanted to imagine. Each thrust of his hips was slow, deliberate, and needy.

Leviathan wasn’t known for his physical stamina, and yet, when he imagined fucking you, he could keep going – anything to savor the fantasy he had spend countless hours building up in his head. He could have easily dry humped that pillow for another half an hour, thinking about all the noises you might make if he was humping you instead. But his desperation was growing, especially as he imagined you enjoying your day without him. He needed to feel like he was claiming you even more, or he was sure he’d go mad with envy. So, he stopped – just long enough to discard his pants and underwear in the general direction of his gaming chair. Levi stared down at your underwear below him, admiring the way his saliva and the precum had managed to make a mess of them. He slid his cock beneath the fabric and started to thrust again.

“You’re mine,” he whispered, over and over as his thrusts picked up pace. He growled and moaned, rolling his head back. “I fucking own you.”

Unfortunately for Leviathan, his leisurely fantasizing was not going to go uninterrupted. You had been dismissed from school early – after your art professor had to cancel classes because “some cheeky bird-man had hell to pay.” Within minutes of the class beginning, every art supply in the room came flying at the professor. He had managed to dodge everything except for an old jar of dirty paint water that someone from a previous class had forgotten to dump out earlier. He was fuming and in desperate need of a change of clothes and an opportunity for revenge, so your class was cut short.

With little else to do at school, you returned home before the others and decided to head upstairs to shower – only to be stopped short at the top of the staircase by strange noises. It took a second to realize it was Levi. He was moaning, and you could hear creaking.

As you approached, you noticed that his door was open ajar. Against your better judgment, you peeked in through the crack to watch. His pillow was on the floor, and Levi was bucking his hips against it furiously, sweat dripping down his chest and the back of his neck. His movements were erratic – a sign of his desperation. You couldn’t tear your eyes away.

“So fucking good. You’re so tight for me. Take it. Take me inside of you, please. Please? Let me cum inside. Let me mark you. I’ll be yours forever. Fuck, MC, please?” Levi moaned.

You gasped at the sound of your name leaving his lips, and it was just enough to startle Levi and ruin his orgasm. He jumped up and covered himself with a nearby blanket. Only then were you able to see the underwear – your underwear, wrapped around his pillow and covered in pre-cum. Levi curled up on the floor, whimpering and hiding his face. This was it. Surely you were going to hate him now.

With a cruelly slow gait, you walked over to him, bent down, and whispered in his ear, “you fucking perverted creep. Were you thinking about cumming inside me? You’re sick.”

“Don’t hate me, please!” Tears pricked the corners of Levi’s eyes as a shiver ran up his spine. He looked up at you, fearful and desperate. Like an animal backed into a corner, he sprang into action, rushing up and slithering around you. He stood between you and the door, shutting and locking it behind him. “P-please hear me out. Listen. I – I’m so sorry. I just got jealous after seeing you with the others this morning. I won’t do it again.”

You had no reason to believe him – which would have been for the best, as he was lying. Still, something about the fear and desire in his eyes was getting to you, and it only made you meaner. You tilted your head and asked, “How many times have you stolen my underwear?”

“What?”

“You heard me: how many times have you done this?”

“I – MC, I . . .” Levi started, wondering if he could bring himself to lie again. A threat of hatred loomed in the air – so terrifying that it forced him towards honesty. He muttered, ashamed, “too many to count.”

“Dirty fucking slut,” you scoffed. “You disgusting shut-in, you can’t even tell me you want to fuck me? You just sneak around – slithering behind my back, stealing my things, and humping your pillow like a bitch in heat? You’re pathetic – lower than any snake in the deepest pits of hell.”

“I’m so sorry,” Leviathan whimpered in a tone aimed to prove your accusation that he was pathetic. He couldn’t even look at you. Instead, he stared down at your stained underwear. As ashamed as he was, he couldn’t help but get excited at how you degraded him. The fear and arousal stirred in his bloodstream, only to be overcome by his intense jealousy – a desperate need to cling to the idea of making you his. “I, uhm – I understand if you hate me, but please. I can’t let you leave until you forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” you laughed – cruel and mocking.

“Yes. I need you to forgive me.” You could see the shame tinting his cheeks a bright pink.

“Who said I was mad?” you laughed again – this time playful and sweet.

Leviathan’s eyes widened – shocked at your forgiving nature. He always knew you were an angel. Tears welled at the corner of his eyes again, and you took a second to admire how pretty he looked, crying and relieved to not be despised by you. Then, you grabbed another pillow from Levi’s tub and tossed it on the floor in front of the body pillow. Levi’s brows knit together in confusion, trying to understand what was happening as you stripped down to your underwear and straddled the pillow.

“Wh-what are you . . .?” He watched on cautiously.

“This is as close as you’re going to get to fucking me today, you sick little pervert. So, go back to what you were doing before.” You glanced between him and the body pillow. He hesitated. “Now, you disgusting creep.”

Levi nodded enthusiastically and quickly joined you on the floor. His movements were slow and nervous; you could tell that he was anxious to have you watch him. Even as he twitched in pleasure and leaked all over your used underwear, he was filled with inhibition. Instead of admitting that he looked adorable, shyly humping his pillow and trying not to stare at you, you aimed to embarrass him even more.

“Tell me what you thought about while you were using my underwear to get off,” you demanded, still rocking your hips into his other pillow.

“Why?” he squeaked out, humiliated. There was no way he could admit anything so embarrassing.

“Because I said so. What? Afraid I’ll find out what a sick, depraved slut you really are?”

Levi’s face flushed pink up to his ears as he mentally conceded. The words fell from him in excited whimpers, “I was – I think about making you mine – just mine. And – and that I could trap you in my room for days, fucking you, letting you use my useless cock for your pleasure until – until I’ve stained you. I-I don’t want anyone else to touch you. Every realm. I want them all to be repulsed by you so that you only have me. Just be mine. Be a shut-in with me forever.”

It was so easy to tell that Leviathan had read and written so many fanfics over the years. He had a mixture of desperation and yearning – as if it was the only thing sustaining his desires. Between his embarrassment and the feeling of grinding on his pillow, even you were starting to make a mess.

“What else did you imagine? Surely that’s not the only thing that horny, needy little head imagined, is it?” You encouraged him.

“No. I – I imagined what it must feel like to be inside you. I licked up your underwear, craving you, thinking about how good my tongue could make you feel. I like to smell it, imagining how hot your skin feels when you get aroused and – and what it would taste like. Please, I-I thought about uhm, kissing your ass and thighs until – ‘til you’re all marked up and staining all your clothes with my cum and not having to wash it out.”

You were getting close, and the submissive little moans that peppered Levi’s confessions only brought you closer. Somehow, Levi could sense it, and it made him jealous of his pillow.

“It’s not fair,” he whined. “Fucking my pillow right in front of me. I-I know I’m useless, but fuck. It makes me so mad and jealous, knowing you’d rather hump a pillow than let me fuck you or use my mouth to please you. Am I really that pathetic?”

“Yes,” you groaned, picking up your pace – half in response to his question and half in response to chasing your orgasm. The sad little whimper that left Levi as he arched his back and pumped his cum all over his pillow and your underwear pushed you over the edge. You continued to grind your hips through your orgasm before coming to a stop.

You were both left panting. After a few seconds, you gathered the strength to stand up. You got completely naked before grabbing your uniform and draping it over your arm. Levi watched you, eyes still glazed over with lust, but cautious, nonetheless.

“Well, I need to shower. Can I leave now?” You glanced over at the locked door, wondering if Levi was actually such a creep that he intended to keep you locked in his room.

“Y-yes. Sorry!” Levi scrambled up to unlock the door for you, stumbling through his first few steps. “Thank you. I’m sorry. Thank you!”

You laughed as Levi stood at the door, holding it open for you, naked and embarrassed, but polite all the same. He looked strangely refreshed in his humiliation, so you decided to push him further. “And just in case I’m wrong about how horny and disgusting you are, don’t wash those pillows tonight. You deserve to sleep with a pillow as dirty as you are.”

Levi’s blush deepened and he tried to hide the smile threatening to form on his lips. “Y-yes, MC. Th-thank you.”

“You fucking pervert.” You handed him your newly soiled underwear on your way out the door. Levi was too stunned to speak as you walked off into the bathroom. Tears formed in his eyes again as he shut the door behind him and brought the new underwear up to his nose. MC came in these. I bet I could taste it. Levi kissed and licked over the wet spot you had left, cleaning it with his mouth. He was already hard again.

But, as if you could read him like a cliché +18 manga, Levi’s phone buzzed. You had sent him a message.

MC: Don’t you dare start touching yourself again. Be good and stay hard all night, and maybe I’ll let you touch me in the morning.

Anticipation grew in Leviathan. He was almost jealous of tomorrow’s version of himself – the one who might get the opportunity to finally fuck you.

tag request: @denpa-dere

A/N: Sorry. It's a little late, but I hope you all will like it. I don't really know how I feel about it, so comments would be nice. I'm sorry I've been gone most of the month. I'll keep trying, but I don't know. I feel like I got my summer depression a little too early this year? Who knows. I'm trying not to force it too much.

That said, I did put up a poll for May. I love Asmo, so hopefully that helps a little. I'm not really sure.

[hotvintagepoll]

Marius Goring (A Matter of Life and Death)—as a murdered french aristocrat doing business for heaven in A Matter of Life and Death, he’s channeling Lestat if Lestat were dressed entirely in party city bargain bin items, played by Lumiere from beauty and the beast, and drenched in cheese. Goring could not have done a worse job and I love him for it.

Dwight Frye (Dracula, Frankenstein)—he's my babygirl please please please please please i want to baby bird feed him flies and spiders and pick him up and make glitter edits of him and give him gross forehead kisses like he's my cat. in dracula he was so incredibly creepy that he was typecast as madmen for the rest of his life and he fucking hated it but by god if he didn't do a fantastic job. he steals the show every time he's up on screen just because he's so fucking deranged. i need him

This is round 2 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you're confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Marius Goring:

Dwight Frye:

He absolutely owns the entirety of Dracula (1931). Compared to the novel, his part is massively expanded and it's clear why. He's magnetically unhinged and his facial expressions are pure scrungle. And in Frankenstein, he begins the archetype of Frankenstein's assistant even if the character's name there is Fritz. He'd still go on to play other scrungly guys in later Frankenstein movies. But he's kinda the archetypal and progenitor of the scrungly lil guy. The scrungliest guy ever to scrungle. He's pretty much the blueprint for every mad scientist's assistant, and he's the best part of every movie he's in. He manages to make you feel sorry for the creepy little dudes, even when he's eating spiders and crawling across the floor. [editor's note: content warning for the "hunchback" stereotype and "madness" in the clips below]the "Rats" soliloquy:

I saw him in Dracula and frankly he has me bewitched. I could watch him do his silly routine forever. The gay tension with Bela Lugosi onscreen was frankly unparalleled. Kirk and Spock levels. I am chewing on the furniture

Played the weirdo little guy in Dracula AND the weirdo little guy in Frankenstein in the same year. Iconic.

The scrungles to end all scrungles! There's a reason why this man codified the manic vampire's familiar and the hunchbacked lab assistant for generations, because by God can this man be feral and scrungly: Whether he's soliloquizing about rats as Renfield, scurrying around Frankenstein's lab like a spider as Fritz, or skulking around dark alleys (and scaring the hell out of little baby me) waiting for a fresh heart to steal as Karl, if you want a scrungly little man for your classic film, Dwight Frye is your man. He has the range to play varying kinds of scrungle, with his wide eyes, his manic smiles, his soft, breathy voice, he is truly an undisputed scrungle master.

I honestly think it would be a crime to ignore Dwight Frye's scrungle factor. He played two of the prototypical creepy little henchman as Dracula's lackey Renfield and Dr. Frankenstein's hunchback servant Fritz, and I believe that his excellence in these roles absolutely shaped the future character tropes of the "Igor" type as much as Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff shaped the future understanding of Dracula and Frankenstein's monster. He's got it all from the looks, to the manic energy, to the crazed laugh, I'm telling you right now that I think he could win the entire tournament.

[imthepunchlord]

I read your recent post about how ML should have stuck with 7 heroes and the polls for the Zodiac heroes. If the Zodiac needed to be used like in canon, how would you write it to work? Would it be similar to your idea of the Zodiac heroes, or would it be something else?

Well, for one thing, I would definitely set up that Fu doesn't have the Chinese Zodiac at the start. Not only does it back Fu choosing Ladybug and Cat and thinking they're best to send out, as Fox, Turtle, and Bee could be more limited in mass helping the city, and LB and Cat have the edge over Butterfly (should anyway), but Fu having the Zodiac this whole time just points to how much of an idiot he is.

Especially if doing the canon powers they have.

By the canon powers they have, Fu essentially wins as soon as Gabriel started up the Butterfly and alerted Wayzz of his intentions.

Fu has the time traveling Rabbit. Even if he's not allowed to change the past, he can go and look at the timeline. He can see who has Butterfly and who is misusing. Gabriel now starting this game of cat and mouse is now obsolete cause Fu knows who he is. He just needs to go get it, or pick ideal adults, tell them who has it, it's done.

Now, if going the route that Rabbit is with the Kudbels, there are still others that give Fu a huge edge to just win.

With Dragon, Fu can become literal air. He can go anywhere. And as we don't have clear definitions on Dragon's limitations, we can make assumptions on what can be done. As far as we know, he can spread himself out and scope out all of Paris. He could locate HM, blindside him with a sudden wind in his secret lair, and blow the Butterfly off Gabriel and carry all the way back home. It's done and over with.

Horse's Voyage, Fu can open up multiple portals and peek through them to see if he can find HM that way. Someone can clear this up for me as I'm not sure, but I do know that Kaalki did use Voyage to go see Chat Noir as Adrien, which could mean Voyage could be used to open up a way to go to another Miraculous holder. If this is so, Fu could use Voyage to blindside Gabriel while he's seeking victims.

Goat could be used to make a Miraculous finding item OR Rooster could be used to have a Miraculous finding power since the limitations of it are still not clear (like Gabriel literally gave himself au hopping powers in the Paris Special).

Dog's Fetch, I don't know if you need to see what you want, but potentially, Fetch could be used to just fetch a Miraculous and bring it back to you.

The inclusion of the Zodiac and the reveal that Fu had them this whole time, it just makes him look like an idiot. Plus the question of why send out the very two Gabriel needs when Fu has so many options to work with Ladybug and keep Cat safe from Gabriel.

I would make use of the Shanghai Special, have that be the intro and reveal of the Zodiac. Could've been Marinette's test for Guardianship. And then to be used by the heroes, I would vote they'd be spread out amongst the 7 with Marinette keeping the most as Guardian and leader, and to occasionally allow the occasional temporary hero as it is fun having a classmate join, but I don't think the entire class need to join and have a singular assigned Miraculous.

Alternatively, if doing a team of 7 heroes, and keeping that there's a clash between Miraculous, have the Zodiac be the next villains. Plus, having a big group of 12 villains could really validate doing a decent size group of 7 heroes.

Or maybe do like Xiaolin Showdown where the Zodiac are lost and scattered and there are rogue users who are unpredictable in use, and there's two groups are competing against each other for the Miraculous. And it could allow the occasional swapping as they win or lose. Like one ep Marinette could win the found Miraculous! One ep Marinette could lose that found Miraculous! One ep, Lila steals the Ladybug from Marinette! One finale, all the heroes could lose their Miraculous to the villains, and what do they do about it now that they're more limited?

So how Zodiacs could be done and made to work, one of these options is what I would pick.

Which, until there's a good alternative villainous force outside Miraculous misuse to face, I would probably vote scattered Zodiac to race and gather or villainous Zodiac team.

[luck-and-larceny]

SMASH OR PASS

Quick Facts:

Height: 5’4”

Age: 27 (I think...? Might be 28 now. She'll say she's whatever age she feels like being in the moment anyway)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/her

Sexuality: Bisexual 

Pros:

Knows what she likes: Demure wallflowers have their own charm to be sure, but that's not Malika’s charm. She’s not shy: She knows what she likes and she’s more than happy to let you know.

Flexibility: Physically and temperamentally. She has gymnastic training and her line of “work” (very legal stuff, certainly nothing problematic like burglary) helps her maintain those skills. Personality wise, her ambition is to live life to the absolute fullest. This means she doesn't believe there's only one right way to do…well… anything. 

Impulsive, adventurous, and fun: One of the benefits of being unconcerned about silly things like laws she doesn't agree with, social expectations she doesn't subscribe to, or opinions of people she doesn’t respect is that there's really nothing to stop her from engaging in risky, adventurous behavior whenever she feels like it. She'll enthusiastically take you by the hand and steal away with you to find fun wherever there is fun to be had.

When she likes you she really likes you!: She'll enthusiastically support you. She'll work behind the scenes and go to great lengths to make things work out for you. She'll leave you gifts and lavish you with charm and attention. The future is full of possibility! It could be the two of you forever!

Cons:

It's not going to be the two of you forever: She's not much good at sticking around. If she feels at all hemmed in, like you want her to change in anyway, or like you maybe want more from her than she's willing to give– she's gone. Like the wind, she'll breeze on in and breeze back out again.

She has little regard for… most everything: She loves overcoming obstacles. Unfortunately, sometimes locked doors, your possession of personal items she likes, and society’s appreciation for the truth are obstacles she particularly enjoys overcoming. If she's slighted, she doesn't turn the other cheek, she spitefully seeks revenge. If she sees something too fancy or expensive, she’ll probably break it. She thinks there's nothing better to keep you warm on a cold evening than a nice, cozy house fire: especially if she started that fire.

She's dangerously unhinged: Please see the above points.

Sexually: She loves having a good time and loves letting you know she's having a good time. Unless you want there to be doubt. She can roll with that too if you think it'd be fun. 

Romantically: Romancing Malika is a terrible idea. I do not recommend this. Crucially, she does not recommend this either. She'd be the first to tell you that you'd be better off putting that energy somewhere else. That said, when she begins to feel romantic there's a high likelihood she'll run away. If she sticks around, she'll give you thoughtful (probably stolen) gifts, find reasons to invite you on (probably illegal) excursions, and begin to (begrudgingly) show you a more vulnerable side of her personality.

Tagged by: @thefreelanceangel (who also gave me these cute dividers a long time ago. Thanks again!)

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it! Sorry for the cop out ( especially on this very anti-cop tumblr). If you want to do it and you saw it here first (somehow?), please pretend I tagged you. :D I want to see it!

[fatkish]

Thank you to those who replied to my ask about villains for my MHA story. And thank you (sorry I forgot your username otherwise I would have put it here) for leaving me with this:

Instead of basing off of other characters, my suggestion is to think, "what are the themes and needs of the story?" Or put another way, "who are these villains meant to oppose?" Toga exists to foil Ochako. Dabi foils Todoroki. Shigarakil foils Deku. Kurogiri foils Aizawa. AFO foils and opposes All Might. Spinner, Compress, Magne, etc. exist in the story to provide support. So, who are your protagonists? What plot do you want to tell with them?

So now I have a different question.

[nerdieforpedro]

Get a room you two and BONE

Part two of the Roc & Doc Series

Tim Rockford x plus size OFC (Doc)

Rating: Mature only because of some of the banter.

This blog is for readers 18+ MDNI

Word Count: about 2.7k

Summary: It’s been a month since “The Case of the Vanishing Pens” had been solved. Things have changed somewhat between Tim and Doc. Are they both okay? Turns out, friends can suck sometimes.

Warnings: bad TV references, teasing, theft, angst?, mention of murder and STD, friends being menaces, the trench coat, bad singing, a murder threat (affectionately)

Notes: Originally, part two was going to be 7k of words. 😅 That was way too long so we’ll have a part two and three. I am working toward something. We’ll all find out when I get there. I’m fond of trench coats now. 😎 A huge smooch to @lady-bess who beta read for me and had some hilarious commentary. 🤣

The top item from the “what should go missing next” poll is in here! The runner ups are in part three. 🤭

Dividers are by the ever lovely @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist / Tim Rockford Masterlist / Rock & Doc Series

You and the detective had dinner three times a week and tried to alternate who pays. Tim had you pay the first time but he insisted on paying the others. It’s been a month since “The Case of the Vanishing Pens.” You told Tim that his jokes were as old as Columbo. He was not amused. Tim told you that he’s a classic like Columbo, and you need to show respect. And honestly, he’s more like Kojak - able to find a parking space anywhere in LA. You choked on your shrimp fried rice while sitting in the passenger seat of his car, he patted your back to try and help the piece of shrimp go down, it eventually did. 

“You’re not bald Rockford. Are you starting to go bald? Is that why you think you’re like Kojak?”, you asked, "going to start rocking three piece suits with a briefcase?”. Tim’s face freezes and he squints his eyes. 

“I will kick you out of my car and leave you at this restaurant Doc. Don’t joke about a man’s hair.”

“You wouldn’t dare, Kojak would never. If you’re going to be mad about it, don’t compare yourself to a famous bald TV detective. Stick with Columbo Rockford.” The two of you grinned at each other. Since the pen incident, it’s become even easier to joke with Tim. You feel you’ve grown somewhat closer to him, but you still won’t ask him anything personal. He doesn’t ask you those types of questions either. It crosses an imaginary line you both have drawn for yourselves.

Tim had told you that you didn’t need to pay, he’d been teasing you for stealing his pens, though he still doesn’t fully buy it was just about a menu. You had also told him, “no, we’re both city employees getting shit pay. We gotta split it, Tim.” He laughed and reluctantly agreed. So the two of you started alternating tabs. Why would you offer to pay when you clearly have some unnamed grudge against him (in his mind anyway)? Is this a ‘keep your friends close and enemies closer’ sort of deal? 

The answer doesn’t come to him as he finishes the last of his egg roll, some duck sauce is on his chin in his beard. With a moist towelette you pull from the depths of your tote bag, you dab his chin and succeed in getting the sauce off and making Tim re-evaluate what your end goal is. It’s too soft of a touch as you could have pushed his face as part of your teasing but you didn’t. You’ve given him small hip bumps in the autopsy room or even in your office. Those don’t feel intimate like this, maybe it’s because it’s his car or the lack of space. It’s dangerously close to the line he’s drawn in the sand with you. It’s times like these that Tim is thankful you don’t notice him clearing his throat or keeping his cafe brown eyes on you as you slurp your noodles. He’s thinking too much again.

Rockford ensures that you get back to your small car you call ‘the blueberry.’ The car suits your personality. It feels loud, quirky but not over the top, much like its owner. He never leaves before watching you pull out of the parking lot and make the right turn at the light. It’s then that he begins his own drive home. He sometimes has an inkling to text if you got home alright but he’s never texted you outside of work. Except the two times he picked you up tacos… alright, maybe it was four times, but limited to food options. Why is it so weird? 

Rockford sighs at the orange streetlights ahead of the hood of his old Ford Crown Victoria. His mind is on you again, but it’s just because you spend a lot of time with each other and you look a hell of a lot better than any of his other partners. Well, you’re not his partner but it kinda feels like it when he talks out cases with you. Stevenson is a solid partner, but he’s wet behind the ears and still learning quite a bit. You, on the other hand, listen. Look at him with genuine interest with questions that tell him you were indeed hearing him. Tim is in his driveway wondering if you’ve already walked up the two flights of stairs to your apartment. He knows you like music but what else do you like?

“Shit.” Rockford gets out of his car and enters his home, dropping off his trench coat and shoes near the door. He stretches out on the couch and flips on the TV. There should be something to watch. An episode of Kojak is in progress with him parking perfectly, getting out of the car, bald head shining with a three piece suit and his briefcase. “What are the chances…?”

As promised, you brought him 4 boxes of pens over the months you’d been eating take out with him. He had nowhere to stick them and wondered if you were pranking him; you were not. You just felt bad about taking his pens for so long. You overdid it a bit, you explained and offered to hold some of them in your office. Tim declined and made room on the top of one of his file cabinets. Seeing something that you’d given him made him smile softly, before turning to face you, he cleared his throat and put his hands on those hips of his, saying he had work to do. You nodded and told him you’d see him around, you were sure there'd be more bodies to look at before long together. The detective sat at his desk and looked at the reports he needed to finish up, they suddenly seemed tedious. He’s wondering if he should have told you it would have been alright if you wanted to stay for a bit. Could have spoken to you while working on them to make the time go faster. Your absence is an issue for Tim. He’s got too many of those already.

Tim stopped by later in the evening to update you on what happened with the arsenic case. Turns out, the victim’s girlfriend had convinced him to become a pescatarian for better health. The girlfriend found out that the victim had two other lovers and had given them the clap (gonorrhea) in addition to her. The three happened to meet in the same clinic where they were getting tested. She had contacted those two after getting diagnosed as the name was different, but the physical description was the same as her boyfriend. It was then that the girlfriend started dosing his food to kill him. She told Tim and the other detectives that she wanted to watch him slowly die. She apparently laughed as they were taking her away in handcuffs. 

You are engrossed in the details. Tim tells you the entire thing from beginning to end, he adds in tidbits from his notes that wouldn’t be in any of your reports. Despite looking like he was tired of everyone’s bullshit ninety percent of the time, the detective was rather animated in explaining the case to you. He walked back and forth in your office and then placed his hands on the back of a chair while leaning in to go over how the dots were connected between the seemingly unrelated people. If the man wasn’t a detective, he should be a voice actor or teacher…you’re sure there’s a suitable profession you’re forgetting in between the options, whatever would warrant people listening to him for a while. 

Toward the end of Tim’s colorful retelling, Kim, one of the clerks and a friend of yours, stopped by the office. She was watching the two of you, rolling her eyes as she crossed her arms. She would have made a joke about you getting yourself in Tim’s trench coat but knew you wouldn’t forgive her for saying it in front of the man that you swear you only have respect and adoration for. Kim had tried to get you to understand your feelings, to at least see that you may want to spend time outside of work with the famed detective. The time may include an actual date at some point.

You’d always told her that it was because he’s always been respectful toward you, and that he came by your office when he didn’t need to. Like today. Kim was sure you hadn’t asked for any follow up on the case, yet here Rockford is telling you about it and you’re giving him all his attention. It’s annoying to watch the two of you. Sure he might be older than you, but it’s less than ten years and she’s sure he doesn’t talk to his ex-wife at all. At one point the precinct did think they were going to get back together shortly after you’d become the new medical examiner five years ago but nothing ever came of it. Not that Kim kept that close on an eye on things for you.Thankfully, there’s only been rumors of maybe some women here and there. Detective Rockford is one who stays holster deep in murders and crime. Kim did have to agree with you on one thing, those holsters are a damn good look on the man. She understands why your eyes linger on him. Kim preferred her men to be on the skinny side so she could toss them around a bit - she can be a bit rough at times.

Waiting until Tim seemed finished with his story, Kim knocked on the open door so the two of you would hear her. 

“Hey Doc, Tim. What are you two crazy kids up to? Making some more dinner plans? Going to take it a step above take out and go to a place where there might be seats inside the restaurant?” The detective bit the side of his jaw which Kim was quick to notice and smirked. Like how does she not notice how bothered he is when anyone interrupts him speaking to her? Maybe Tim liked her stealing his pens? Hmm…that’s an idea.

Your face hardens at your friend’s joke and you start nervously pressing your hands together. At least it wasn’t the trenchcoat one she likes to make, thank goodness. Tim looked back at the door and stood up, shaking his head. 

“Hey Kim. Just knew Doc would want to hear how the case turned out. I’m going to head out Doc. I’m going to go make sure Stevenson isn’t still working on the homicide from last week. He makes fun of my chicken scratch, but he types slow as hell for someone fifteen years younger than me. Good night Doc, don’t steal anymore pens. I know she’ll be your accomplice.” Rockford nods, gives you a smile and once at the doorway, cuts his eyes at Kira before leaving. Your friend slides by Tim as he exits and plops down across from you and snickering. 

“Did the famed detective get a bit pissed at me because I came between him and his dear Doc? For shame and I guess I did know you were taking his pens. To be fair, I did tell you to stop several times.” She playfully tapped her own hand as if she was being reprimanded. You sat back in your chair and shook your head. She’s been teasing you about this for as long as you had stolen that man’s pens well after. Tim didn’t tease you as much anymore. Well, sometimes, but only when you got in the car and he asked to see your hands to make sure you didn’t remove anything from his glove box or console.

“Could you just drop it? Please���what did you come here for Kim?”. 

“I came to remind you that this weekend is our friend’s engagement party. And before you start,” Kim reached out and took hold of Doc’s hand, “you’ve RSVPed, we bought an outfit a few weeks ago just for this party theme and I could give this back to one such man in a trench coat after you go.” Kim’s free hand exposed a little black book that Tim often carried everywhere for his notes. Your eyes are wide, it’s bad enough about the pens but it’s a funny joke now. His book?! 

“Dammit Kim, you need to give it back now!” Kim is shocked at your growl and lets go of your hand, holding tighter to the book. 

“No. You give it to him and say it fell out of his pocket or something. He has fifty places in that trench coat I could have been. I honestly think he likes it when you take his stuff.” She stood up and so did you, were you really going to fight her over this man’s book? “The fact that you’re this upset, proves my point. You need to talk to him, stop just watching him, have him take you to a place where you order and eat inside and maybe go to your place or his and-”

“Don’t finish that sentence. Just give me the book and maybe he won’t push for me to resign or be in a different county or something for harassment.” Your hands are on your head, running through how badly this could go. No matter how nice Tim is, taking that book is almost as bad as taking his tie or holsters. It’s a part of him. Though it would be kinda cool if you held it for a minute. No…no. You can’t go into that rabbit hole. That is reserved for when you’re in your apartment in your PJs and are sipping on some hot chocolate with some cookies. 

“You just need to bone….be on the desk and bone…maybe he keeps the trench coat on while you bone…I know he’s wearing the holsters when you bone…maybe you pull the hair he still has while you bone…you grab his biceps while you bone…”. Kim is singing horribly off key and if you weren’t so frustrated and anxious you’d tell her to shut it. But you need a laugh to release the tension in your body so you do, doubled over on your desk. Kim drops the black book before you and kisses your forehead.

“You just need a push to talk to him and you're already a bit of a thief. Just slip his book in his car the next time you two eat and talk to him. It’s not like people in the department don’t date. That’s how the captain met his wife.” She pats your head. “They fought over a stapler, she threw it at him. He said she had an excellent throwing arm. Love was in the air.” Kim did a jazz hand flourish and you look up, rolling your eyes.

“I would rather not be violent with the man. And I will not…bone him. Gah, you made me say it.” You shake your head and sit back and sigh. “Just please don’t push it. Can I just stay in my safe little bubble, please? Daydream about the man, why can’t I do that? Why will you not let me do that?” 

Kim sat back down and crossed her arms, sucking her teeth, “Real talk right now Doc. It’s not your job title that keeps you from talking to Tim. It’s that you’re scared that he might actually reciprocate your feelings and you may have to be in a relationship with a grown man with baggage, can hold a conversation with you and will be able to hold it down in the bedroom.” Your hands cover your face. You’re not discussing this at work. No…but you are. “Stop acting like you haven’t thought about it.” Kim laughs at your discomfort and embarrassment, but pauses to sneak a peek at her phone. “I would drop more truth bombs at you but I have to go. Tony’s here to pick me up. I will see you tomorrow and this weekend. Maybe one day you’ll have your detective use his investigative skills under a dress like that.”

“Please go to Tony before I have to call and tell him you're on my slab.”

“You’re too busy trying to find a way into a trench coat to worry about murdering me. Take care getting home.”

“I will never tell you anything again. Good night.”

Part One

Part Three

Keen moots who may want the trench coat on with nothing else 🧥:

@alltheglitterandtheroar @sin-djarin @morallyinept @yorksgirl @bitchwitch1981 @heareball @megamindsecretlair @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @magpiepills @yorksgirl @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @avastrasposts @clawdee @pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing @rhoorl @inept-the-magnificent @grogusmum @agentjackdaniels @pedroshotwifey @laurfilijames @frenchiereading

[madhatterbri]

Gentleman's Bandit | Hangman A.P.

Summary: Despite stealing from the rich, the Hangman respects the comfort of a lady.

Author's Note: I learned the story that inspired this from a national park I attended. ❤️ He won the poll. Matthew and Nicholas may get a story as well.

Tag List: @theworldofotps @plentyoffandoms @99hook

Mentions of Hangman Adam Page, the Young Bucks, Tony Khan and his dad.

Pure fiction

Under the bright sun of the Wild West, where outlaws ran the towns, there rode a mysterious figure. Dressed in all black, the wanted signs posted around the towns could easily identify the man as Hangman Adam Page. Two men rode along side him.

They just pulled over a grand carriage belonging to Governor Khan. The Hangman, with the help of the Young Bucks, approached a grand carriage pulled by white horses. This would be a big score for them.

Nicholas Jackson opened the carriage door roughly. He saw the Governor's son, Tony, sitting in the corner closest to the door. He was crying and huddled in the fetal position. One half of the Young Bucks grabbed him and dragged him outside. The older brother grabbed him before he could fall.

"Sorry about my brother," Matthew chuckled and started to dust Tony's suit of any dust that could have fallen on him. "He's a bit of a hot head,"

"Move, Nicholas. I told you we weren't going to do this rough," Hangman growled and ordered him off the carriage ladders. Nicholas rolled his eyes at the two others inside the carriage and stepped back out. The blonde outlaw stepped on the stairs and looked inside.

Within, he found the elderly governor along with his daughter. Governor Khan tried to remain as stoic as possible. His daughter, Y/N, stared at the ground. They didn't seem to be any immediate threat.

"I'll be taking what's rightfully mine," he said, his voice stern to show he wasn't messing around. "You two remain calm and compliant, and I will let you stay in here,"

With that, he rifled through the carriage, taking only what he deemed would fetch him a lot of money. The same fate wasn't met for Tony. The man was stripped of all his personal belongings down to just his slacks. The three men knew they couldn't fit his clothes.

Once they were finished, they allowed Tomy back into the carriage. Hangman and the Young Bucks sealed their stolen items on their horses.

"We will be bidding you a good day," Hangman said and stared at Y/N. "I am sorry if I scared you any, miss,"

Y/N simply nodded, not wanting any trouble with the outlaw. Despite the current condition of his son, the governor complimented the outlaw.

"Thank you for the treatment of myself and my daughter," he said. "You were a gentleman throughout this,"

Tony's mouth dropped open in shock at his dad's oblivion to his current state.

[i-cant-believe-ive-done-this]

Belatedly realized @theladysherlock tagged me in the steal from me poll. So let’s have at it. Rob me blind:

[cadaverdolls]

Edit: I FORGOT TO CLARIFY. What I’m make is a drawing. It’s meant to mimic a drawing that would be used for a plushie company to make a plushie from, the ones that make those chibi ones for games. Usually referred to as cotton dolls online.

Idk how to stop polls earlier but the one for what I should do for my 30th doll are in favor of a LI. So I’m post this poll now since this will literally take forever till the polls end. If the tides to change on the OG pull then I’ll just save the results of this poll for another time.

Which love interest should I turn into a doll? (If you really really really want me to turn someone that isn’t a LI then tell me in the tags or comments.)

Is Ivory Wraith a LI? I can’t remember. Haven’t encountered them a lot since I’m literally always running around like a lunatic. Also for some reason they only bother me when I don’t steal the neckless.

A custom one usually cost 100 or so but to manufactured on a larger scale for consumers it would only cost you 20 or so. I’d need to find a company, send my concept design, have them send me a prototype (each one cost 100-300 so if changes need to be made then I could be looking at spending a lot of money on just prototypes), once decided I’d have to order a stock and that means you need to usually order a huge quantity (300 but some companies probably do a little less, still 300 is on the smaller side). Protyping, buying stock, shipping, website management (or store management if you’re using something like Etsy), and advertising. It’s a lot of time and effort to get plushies made as a single individual and it’s a risky investment if you don’t have enough customers. If I did do something further down the line then I’d have to be sure that it be worth the effort.

Just wanted to break that down so people understand what this poll is about. I have been plushie gun for a bit now and I completely forgot to clarify that this wouldn’t be a physical item. It may be in the future if I ever get an embroidery machine but that’s a what if idea.

[aritheartfreak]

i like those polls that people make of cool stuff they have in their room that’s like. Oh what cool item would you steal from my room!

but they’re genuinely cool. DO YOU KNOW HOW DERANGED MINE WOULD BE??? I HAVE INSANE ITEMS IN MY ROOM! I saw one that was like pretty crystal dragon :)

LIKE THATS COOL. ACTUALLY.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

This is a Poll! I Will Eventually Get to the Poll!

Conversational drift is a thing and if you got someone who's drift compatible, you hang onto that person for life.

So, the spouse and I were discussing how the word "subwoofer" is wasted on an audio device and it should instead refer to some kind of discreet toy that give deep bass vibes, perhaps via blue whale noises. That's not what I'm gonna ask you about, Tumblr, that is objectively true.

No. Somehow we decided Yassified Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget has real dom energy and her next conquest would be El Pollero himself, Gus Fring - if only he wasn't gay! El Pollero is Mrs. Tweedy's impossible dream! In fact, once he finds out about the chicken collars, he might try to seduce "what's-his-nuts, in the chicken suit" away from her. "Mr. Tweedy II," I ad-libbed, (It's Dr. Fry but I had to look it up.) "has it never occurred to you to to sell these happiness collars to people?" And then, in a goofier voice, "But they're chicken collars, they're to make chickens happy..."

And the spouse says, "I don't know how to make people happy!"

If I'd been drinking water I would've done a spittake. "WTF, are you adding emotional depth to this? Oh, my god. That's a fic!"

"It's a crack pairing. It'd only hold up for a thousand words or so..."

"No! Are you kidding me?"

"100k, slow burn romance?"

"YES!" A pause. "In the spirit of that game where you buy three items to freak out the cashier, the only fic I have on AO3 right now is the WTYP one. WTYP fights Gozer, a slow burn romance between Gus Fring and whats-his-nuts in the chicken suit, and what's the third one...??"

After some discussion, I admitted, "The one I really wanna do is Bartleby the Scrivener as a Seinfeld episode... And maybe in the B-plot Kramer does The Tell-Tale Heart."

"Wait, is Kramer the killer or the victim?"

"The killer? I dunno, we need him for the next episode..."

Anyway, we decided Kramer gets a Furby and he's taking it everywhere and Newman's real annoyed with it, but he needs to sneak into Kramer's room while he's sleeping and steal it without setting it off. A cursory internet search suggests that Furbies and Seinfeld did share a brief moment on this planet, so this would've been one of the last episodes, perhaps a lost finale. ...In which case I would be free to kill whoever I like!

But, okay. I'm done with my next six-pack and I'm not going to publish it until I can illustrate. My eyes are putting me on indefinite hiatus. But I can write! So, if I get real bored... And I'm not saying I will, 'cos I got a lot of eye exercises to do and ATM they get me real tired and useless. But IF I get real bored, and if this poll strays across your dash, and you decide to care, do you wanna see:

Option 1: A slow burn romance between Gus Fring, from Better Call Saul and Breaking Bad, and Dr. Fry from Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget, guest starring Yassified Mrs. Tweedy. I can't promise you 100k but I will take it as seriously as I can.

Option 2: An episode of Seinfeld where Elaine details her investigation of her new coworker Bartleby, George tries to get out of work by saying "I prefer not to," and Kramer and Newman do The Tell-Tale Furby.

And if you feel moved, go ahead and steal. I think our takes would undoubtedly be unique, and it would be hilarious if someone clicked on a tag and found MORE THAN ONE.

[sonic-macguffin-matchup]

Welcome, one and all to...

from the referee of @sonic-nonbinary-knockout comes a brand new tournament set to decide once and for all the absolute best macguffin from the sonic the hedgehog franchise.

now, our definition of a macguffin differs slightly from the traditional definition. to qualify for the tournament, the item...

must be something people want

must be unique or scarce

must play a role in the story

must have some kind of power

bonus points if it's something rouge would steal

so for example, the chaos emeralds would qualify, but the colored shoe gems from '06 would not.

as this isn't based off headcanon, we will not be taking submissions at this time. instead, we will be posting a list of what we can find off the wiki, and you can suggest what to remove or add from it.

we do, however, have google form if you want to give feedback on how to run the poll, found here. the form includes a question you can use for peer review of the lineup.

similar tournaments:

@sonicgirlsmackdown

@sonicmalematchup

@sonic-transfem-swag-tourney

@sonic-instrumental-matchup

@idwsonicshowdown

@bestsonicshowdown

@sonicuniversesmackdown

others that slip our mind