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#lucy x sam
penelopepitstopp · 4 months
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I gone done did some more, didn't I?
Part 1
Part 2
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samkerrworshipper · 1 year
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My Masterlist
Leah Williamson -
seeing her tonight, it's a bad idea right?
just some friends with benefits smut that’s ends with confessions of love
medication
r stops taking their anxiety medications during the euros finals to get rid of three side effects… but what happens when it seriously effects them on the pitch
let me love you
r struggles after her and leah break up after some drunken kisses with other people… can they mend it all before r’s health is seriously affected?
the call up
when r gets the news notification from the Spanish federation regarding the forced call up the espwnt
safe and sound
r having suicidal thoughts and leah just being there to support them and be there for them
playgirl
friends to lovers smut w cocky as fuck playgirl leah who secretly only has eyes on r
losing
what happens when r loses for the first time?
asthma attacks
what happens when r has a asthma attack whilst Leah’s out for the night?
i will wait for you.
r gets injured in the champions league final and finds herself pushing out everyone, is it to late to make up with the people that matter most?
lost cause
r doesn’t want to do life anymore… leah’s there to make it all better and let her know how loved she is
tourniquet
r struggles with self harm and Leah helps her with it in theee different examples
pain, sweet, pain.
leah’s return from her acl injury is nothing like what she wanted nor expected, but her team are there to help her up when she’s down.
scars and all
leah finds out about her girlfriends past mental health issues
beautiful girl series (leah + jordan as coparents)
part 1 -> close you’re eyes: leah and jordan’s daughter is struggling after their breakup
part 2 -> have no fear: jordan and r have a heart to heart and somethings are revealed
part 3 -> the monsters gone: leah confronts her daughter
part 4 -> she’s on the run: r runs away
part 5 -> and your moms are here: reconciliation
part 6 -> beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl: final part
Lucy Bronze -
mamacita
jersey smut with lucy after winning
daddy?…. sorry
just a little drabble about dom daddy lucy
a shoulder to cry on
lucy is there for r after she has a career shattering injury
euro champs and abs
lucy’s prize for winning the euros
leg shakes and body aches pt.2^
after care for the fic above
epiphany
random grief drabble - more r focused then lucy tbh but if u want a good cry then readdd
Alexia Putellas -
movie night
cheek voyeurism smut with r and alexia at team movie night
lap dance
stripper smut with Alexia after the world cup
on the sidelines
wag Alexia on the sidelines for wnba girlfriend
i remember everything
r struggles with eating disorder… alexis is to absorbed in her own life to notice.. what are th consequences?
the party
songfic based off the song the party & the after party by the weeknd… pure filthy smut
exile
songfic based off the song exile by taylor swift
the last time (pt.2^)
Alexia tries to apologise to r after what happened at the club… another songfic based off the song the last time by taylor swift
between thighs
just a little quickie fic
back between villages
alexia tears her acl.
sugar, baby
u have a little arrangement with la reina
bar-ca
babyfic with newborn alexia and r as parents
rockin’ around the christmas tree
fluffy kidfic with christmas with the putellas’ family
underneath the surface
alexia finds out about your endometriosis
Sam Kerr -
cock blocked
team night with the arsenal girls who r keeping you from being thoroughly fucked by your girlfriend
smut headcanons
just smutty dom headcanons with sammy k
a whore’s punishment
literal smutty porn without plot… that’s it.
concealed
little drabble about sam concealing a strap during a photo shoot
the phone call
based off the scene in the uswnt doc with the different call ups except sam x reader coded
acls
based off sam’s acl injury :(
Katie Mccabe -
nails
katie comes home from ireland camp with a new set of nails and she shows you just how much she can do even without using her hands or
Mapi Leon -
massage therapy
mapi gets injured… reader tries to resolve some of the tension in her body
warmed
cockwarming… that’s about it
las 15
based off of the spanish players boycott pre world cup
Alexia Putellas x Reader x Lucy Bronze -
twos a company, threes a crowd
| pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 |
pure filth between my three girlies
Leah Williamson x reader x Lia Wälti -
all yours
just a little friends to lovers angsty fic about lia and leah getting together when the three have always been best friends and r struggling with it
Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen -
long distance
touch starved and anxious reader who’s been away from mapi and ingrid for a while and needs a reminder just how much the love her
Vivianne Miedema x Beth Mead -
bad days
Viv has a bad anxiety day… Beth’s there for her no matter what
Kristie Mewis x Sam Kerr -
pinky promise?
little anxiety fic about kristie stressing about meeting Sam’s parents for the first time
wet dream
kristie can’t sleep.. sam has a wet dream..
Lia Wälti x Alexia Putellas -
captains connection
sometiems the captains are the ones who need the most help after games..
auswnt -
togetherness
pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3
just some tillies angst and fluff
arsenal women -
found family
r goes out in the snow and gets really sick, but is scared to bother their arsenal teammates, two captains show up at their door after them not showing up to training for a few days and help them out and show them just how much the team loves them
homework help
when r moves to england she struggles with the adjustment of new school… arsenal team are there for her though
sticker chart
r and kyra r the pranksters of the team… but what happens when they take it too far and the arsenal parents seperate them as a result
revival
arsenal reader has been struggling more than she’d ever admit.. when it becomes to much she attempts to take her life but her teammates refuse to let her kill herself when she has so much more to live for.
hard times
arsenal reader struggles with PTSD and new year’s eve is a particular struggle… but the arsenal girlies are there for her even if she doesn’t know she needs them
narcotics
reader has a drug problem.. her arsenal teammates help her to realise and overcome it
how did it end?
suicidal ex-arsenal reader who retired after leaving the club
barca women -
suffer in silence
r struggles with self harm after the problems with the spanish federation.. mapi, ingrid, lucy and alexia are there to pick up the broken pieces
exhausted
insomnia reader with concerned alexia
initiation orgy universe
initiation:
pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3
celebrations:
pt.1 -> pt.2 -> pt.3
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kyracooneyx23 · 3 months
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I loved you Leah Williamson fic! I was wondering if you could do a Lucy Bronze x matildas reader where reader and lucy both player for barca and then they verse each other in the world cup semi final
Don't Be Sorry - Lucy Bronze
Lucy bronze x matildas!reader
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summary - the Matildas lose to England in the semi final of the womens world cup and you take the blame.
warnings - death threats and hate comments
90+ minutes of you playing your heart out, the hope of a World Cup final promised if your team could get the result you desperately wanted slipped through your fingers as the dreaded sound of the full-time whistle rang through your mind. You collapse to the floor, face buried in your hands as you feel your tears wet the floor around you. The salty taste burned your already parched throat as you sobbed into your hand.
You were never an emotional person over football, but you had the weight of an entire country resting on your shoulders and you had let them down.
This was the moment you had spent your life working towards, ever since you were 4 years old, when you first watched a game of women's football you had made it your goal to one day be like the women you had seen on your screen. You promised yourself that one day you would represent your country in a World Cup, and now that dream had become reality you had stuffed everything up.
The haunting images of the ball flying past you and into the net still haunts you. You had the chance to stop the ball from going in but stuck your leg out too far and the ball went right past.
Not only did you feel like you had let down your fans, you had let down your teammates as well. It was your job as the team's main center-back to stop the goals and you failed. It was a stupid mistake for Tony to pick you to start, even more stupid that he'd kept you on the full game.
You felt the England player's hands patting you softly on the back, but you didn't bother getting up to congratulate them on their success not feeling up to facing other people.
'Hey, it's going to be ok y/n/n.' You hear the soft, comforting whisper of your captain, whose voice makes you sob even harder. You roll over onto your back so you can see her properly, out of everyone on this pitch you knew you owed her a proper apology.
'I'm so sorry Sam.' Your voice is hoarse and it pains you to see her tear-stained cheeks 'I let the whole team down, I know how much this meant to you. I'm sorry for ruining it, you deserved the win.' You burst into tears again as your captain pulled you into a warm embrace, rubbing your back to try and calm you down.
'This is not your fault.' She says, her voice is stern but you know she's not using the tone in a mean way, 'You played your heart out. I'm not allowing you or anyone to take the blame for the result. Every single person who has pulled on the green and gold jersey this tournament needs to be proud of everything they have done. We've made history this World Cup and that can't be forgotten because of one game. We still have the bronze medal match, we need to dust ourselves off and focus on winning that.' Your breathing slows down, knowing you were overreacting and that Sam was right. You needed to concentrate on the third-place game, there was still a chance to bring home some silverware for your country.
As you rose from the ground, extending congratulations to several of the Lionesses for their victory, you found yourself mid-conversation with Kyra and Mini. Suddenly, you felt the gentle embrace of two arms encircling your waist and a head nestling into the curve of your neck.
You turn around, enveloping your girlfriend in an embrace, the silent language of your intertwined bodies speaks more than any words could in the moment. It was a relief to be in the arms that felt more like home than anywhere else, her presence was all you needed to feel slightly better. Tears trickle down your cheeks again, a release from the flood of emotions that have become too overwhelming.
After a while the silence is broken 'I'm so sorry,' Lucy whispers into your ear 'I know how much this meant to you baby, I wish it didn't have to end this way.' You shake your head at her words, not wanting to ruin the special moment that she had also worked so hard for.
'Luc, don't be sorry. I'm not hearing it. Go and make the most of this moment. You deserve it.' You say pulling out of the hug, not wanting your disappointment to ruin her occasion, you knew better than anyone how much effort Lucy put into getting here in her career.
Lucy looks at you with sincerity in her eyes, you can see how excited she is to have made it to a World Cup final, but she still stays with you instead of celebrating with her team. You know you would've done the same thing if the roles were reversed but you still feel bad for keeping her away. 'Babe, go celebrate, I know you want to.' You tell her, your tone almost demanding.
But she doesn't leave your side and for the next 15 minutes she's constantly peppering your face with kisses and expressing words of admiration and respect, acknowledging the relentless dedication you had put into getting here. You keep trying to push her away but she refuses to leave, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and keeping you tucked as close to her as she possibly could not letting you free anytime soon.
Whilst you walk around the pitch together the fact that you two are rivals dissolves, no one would know that one of you had just lost to the other in a World Cup semi-final if it wasn't for the two different jerseys the two of you were wearing.
You gaze at her, and you know that you look like the biggest simp for her as you send her a loving look. The fan's edits after this match would be crazy.
The two of you were a popular couple that the fans adored even though you two had never properly gone public with your relationship, you just weren't the best at keeping it much of a secret.
Neither of you minded though, you found both the tiktoks quite funny.
After a little more walking around with Lucy, you know you can't let her stay with you any longer. 'You've poured your heart into every match, every training session,' you murmur, your voice barely a whisper against the loud atmosphere. 'You deserve this win more than anyone. This victory is yours, you've earned it through all your determination and hard work. Now please go and celebrate, I know that you'll be greatly missed in the changing rooms. I refuse to keep you to myself anymore, we'll have so much time just the two of us back in Barca. I love you, now enjoy your win' You tell her managing to wriggle free from her tight grip and place a light kiss on her lips, which she tries to deepen before you pull away laughing lightly at her clinginess.
'I love you sunshine.' She tells you blowing you a kiss before running over to her teammates who all bring her in for a large group hug. You smile at her almost forgetting how you'd felt only a short time ago.
Seeing Lucy happy made you happy.
'Hello, Miss Bronze.' Caitlin says standing beside you and you can hear the smirk in her voice. 'Care to join your team anytime soon or are you going to keep staring at your girl like a freak for the rest of the night?' She laughs and you shove her slightly.
'I'm coming, you can piss off now.' You tell the brunette, following her towards the team huddle not too far away from where you were. Steph and Kyra wrap their arms around you as you squeeze into the team circle.
The circle is quieter than your previous huddles, the energy gone from the disappointing loss and everyone exhausted from the game you'd just played.
Tony speaks to everyone, telling us it's not over yet and we can't stop working. The talk is coming to an end when he begins to talk about how we should all be very proud of ourselves 'You girls should all be extremely proud of what you have done,' he waves his hand across the sea of fans in green and gold, still screaming and cheering despite the loss. 'Every single one of you has won the hearts of a nation, you have inspired generations to come, and have changed the future of women's football in Australia. That is an incredible achievement.' A small round of applause echoes throughout the group and Tony finishes up the talk letting everyone head off.
All the girls do one more lap of the field, thanking the fans for their support before quickly getting changed and heading back to the hotel, everyone wanting a good nights rest after the long day.
The next day, the bright sun and Kyra's snoring wakes you up. You chuck a pillow at her, laughing at her annoyed grunts and swearing before getting out of bed, showering, and getting changed. You're quick, not wanting to be late for Lucy as the two of you had planned to go out for coffee this morning. You were excited to see how hungover she would be, you'd be surprised if she even managed to get out of bed this morning.
You weren't meant to be meeting Lucy until 10 and it was only 9:15 when you got out of the shower, so you took the extra time to scroll on your phone.
You had hardly thought about the game last night, knowing it would only affect your upcoming game if you worried about that too much. But as you open your phone, which you hadn't been on since before the game, your stomach twists and you feel like you're going to be sick.
A million notifications pop up on your screen. DM's of people telling you to kill yourself and posts that tagged you showing the two goals you couldn't stop yesterday. You tried not to read them but there were too many and you couldn't stop yourself.
Y/N L/N can go fucking throw herself off the Sydney Harbor Bridge for all I care. What a fucking joke this is, I knew women's football would suck. You're telling me that a 'professional' fullback can't stop the easiest goals. hope she fucking dies, let down a whole country.
Morning Y/N, hope you slept terribly last night. Let down a whole country with your shit performance. I'm sure many people would appreciate it if you took a break from football and found a job you're good at. I don't want to see you step foot on a pitch ever again and if you do I'll make sure you're sorry for it.
L/N just proves that female athletes are all just sluts, lost her team a world cup semi-final and all she did after the game was eye fuck Lucy Bronze, what happened to being a team player?
Hi Y/N, thanks to you my daughter cried herself to sleep last night, what happened to inspiring all the young girls, get a fucking life and get back into the kitchen. women like you don't belong on a football pitch. Never touch a football again thanks.
There were so many, all saying the same kind of things that it all just blurred together. Your thoughts from yesterday returned and all you could think about was about how all these people were right. You let down your country and you were a joke.
You were so caught up in everything that you hardly noticed the time slowly tick past 10:15 and all the notifications from Lucy asking where you were. You just sat on your bed, not quite sure what to do. You'd never felt more like a failure in your life, tears poured down your face they were practically choking you but you didn't mind.
You had let down your country and thousands of people agreed with you.
When you didn't answer Lucy's fifth call she got seriously worried. You always had your phone on you and you never ignored Lucy's calls. She called you one more time and when you didn't answer, she took matters into her own hands.
As soon as the Uber arrived outside your hotel, Lucy sprinted up to your room. Until security stopped her at the front desk, demanding that she prove that she was staying at the hotel before they let her in.
She was begging them for a good five minutes until it got to the point when she was offering money for them to let her in. Fortunately, Alanna spotted Lucy at the desk and after seeing her desperate expression she decided to go over and see what was happening.
'Is everything all right?' She asked both the receptionist and Lucy.
'She's not letting me see y/n/n' Lucy snapped shooting the desk lady a dirty glare.
'I need proof, I can't just let anyone in.' She says matter-of-factly causing Lucy to roll her eyes. Alanna ignores the lady giving Lucy all her attention.
'I thought she was going out to see you?' Alanna asked confused 'That's what Kyra told everyone.'
'She was meant to, but she didn't show up and hasn't been answering my calls, I need to know if she's ok.' Lucy's forehead creased with worry, her girlfriend was never late and always picked up the phone.
'I'm sure she'll be fine, I'll take you to go and check her room and see if she's there.' Alanna tells the brunette before turning around having a quick word with the receptionist who mumbles something under her breath before turning to Lucy and allowing her to go up, apologising for the trouble.
Her words aren't heard by the English footballer who is already speed-walking up the hallway despite having no clue where she is going. Alanna jogs lightly to catch up to her grabbing her wrist to stop her from walking. At first, Lucy tries to pull her wrist away but stops when Alanna drops it.
'Her rooms the other way.' Alanna says softly, causing Lucy to turn around and start power walking in the opposite direction. Alanna laughs lightly at her. 'Slow down, you're just going to get lost. I'll take you to her.'
You're curled up under the blankets in your bed. You'd been lying there for almost an hour. Your phone was on silent so you hadn't seen all the missed calls from Lucy, you felt guilty for not showing up but surely she wouldn't care too much. No one in their right mind would want to be seen with a mess like you, especially not the Lucy Bronze.
You lay in silence for a while longer, nobody disrupting you as the do not disturb sign was up and all the girls were out for the off day. You were almost too caught up in your thoughts to hear the knocking on the door and Alanna's voice calling out your name.
'Y/N, are you in there?' She asked again 'Y/N?' You groaned pulling the blankets up so they were almost covering your head.
'Go away Lani.' You mumble only just loud enough for her to hear. You are shocked when she agrees and you hear her footsteps getting further away.
You roll further into your bed, groaning when you hear another knock on the door. 'Baby, are you alright?' Your girlfriend asks, your stomach flips with guilt.
'I don't want to talk right now Luce.' You tell her even though you know that's not going to stop her from coming to see you.
'I need to know that my girlfriends ok.' She tells you and you hear the doorknob twist, the bright light that fills your room makes your head pound and you bury your face into the pillow.
When Lucy sees you lying in the darkness she immediately rushes to your side and places a hand on your forehead, probably checking to see if you had a temperature.
'What's wrong my love?' She asks sitting next to you on the bed and stroking your back. 'Are you sick? Do you need me to get anything for you?' The brunette asks the worry evident in her tone. You turn around to face her, only seeing her concerned face makes you burst out crying.
As tears streamed down your cheeks, you poured your heart out to your girlfriend, the weight of disappointment and guilt heavy on your shoulders, you couldn't not tell her about what was going on.
The two of you told each other everything.
In the quiet of the hotel room, you confessed her insecurities, voice choking with emotion. 'I'm a failure,' you whispered, hands trembling as you recounted the mistakes that haunted you from the semi-finals and all the awful messages you'd received after the game. With each word, Lucy listened intently, offering comforting words of reassurance. 'You're not a failure,' she whispered back, gently wiping away your tears. 'You're brave for putting yourself out there, for giving it your all. Football doesn't define you; your resilience does. You are the best player I know, you didn't win Player of the Year for nothing. All the girls were talking about how well you played last night, just because the result didn't go your way it doesn't mean you're a failure.' She places light kisses over your face 'The people hating are all just dickheads, I can't imagine them doing even half of what you've achieved. Don't let them get to you.' She tells you, midway through your conversation she had laid down beside you, wrapping you in her arms. You had your head lying on her chest, the beat of her heart helping calm you down.
You don't know how you got a girlfriend like Lucy. But you were undeniably grateful for her no matter what. She'd been there for you through the worst and best parts of your life.
'I'm sorry Lucy.' You whisper to her.
'Don't be sorry.' She tells you placing a light kiss on your forehead 'You've done nothing wrong.'
'You're meant to be enjoying making it to the final, but instead you're stuck looking after me.'
'Yeah, but being stuck with my favorite person in the world is my kind of heaven.' She tells you softly causing a small smile to break out on your face 'I love you y/n/n.'
'Love you more.' You say back to her.
'That's impossible baby.' A small smirk appears on her face 'I'll always love you the most.'
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pixiesfz · 9 months
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I know it’s not the normal thing you write so if you don’t want to then that’s fine! But I’d love a platonic lionesses fic (or just Lucy if you’d prefer) when r is the youngest player on the team and they’re all a bit overprotective of her
love this idea of a young teen lioness!!
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plot: y/n's partner breaks up with y/n right before camp
warning: them pronouns are used for partner, and crying, I'm not sure what you should call a warning (also if anyone thinks they wouldn't cry like a bitch when they get broken up with is like wrong)
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You stared at your phone as your tears dropped down on the text message that now clouded your brain.
You were sixteen you shouldn't expect your first relationship to be your one and only.
But you loved them.
You read the message again.
'It's really not working y/n'
'I think it's best if we break up'
'I can't deal with this anymore'
You wiped away the tears on your face. Long distance was hard and you were leaving every now and then for your soccer career, you thought they would supported you and they did at first.
Then you stopped ringing each other every night, you were sometimes late to their messages because of training and you even saw on your other friends stories of them at parties talking to other girls.
You tried to convince yourself it wasn't going to happen.
But now it has.
The doorbell went off causing you to jump and drop your phone on the floor "fuck, shit fuck" you grunted out as it hit your foot.
You remembered that Ella and Alessia had decided to pick you up to drive you to camp that day.
You quickly wiped the tears off your face and took a deep breath as the doorbell rang again and Ella's voice could be heard.
"Y/N! for god sakes are you deaf!"
It almost brought a smile to your face before you grabbed your suitcase and walked out of your room and to the front door and opened it.
Alessia was about to ring the doorbell again until you opened the door. "Finally" Ella yelled as you looked down and played with your air pod case.
"I uhm- yeah sorry I was on a call with mum" you said with a soft voice as you were already walking towards the car trying not to make eye contact with any of the girls who thankfully didn't think anything of it.
You were quiet the whole ride which weirded the two girls out usually, you would be talking their ears off and you would all sing along to some Disney song.
Even when you had arrived you quickly hurried off with a quick 'thanks' and went to get changed.
"Somethings off" Alessia said once you were out of earshot "no shit sherlock" Ella replied before they ushered over to Lucy and Keira who had also just arrived.
"Why's the little one running?" Lucy asked as she watched you with furrowed brows "somethings up she didn't talk the entire ride" Alessia explained and Keira's mouth dropped "your kidding" she said and then looked at the doors you had just walked through with worry.
You were in the rooms tying up your shoes when Leah and Beth walked in "hey chicken" Beth smiled and you nodded "Hey Beth" you relied softly, still with your head between your legs.
Leah looked at you weirdly before they walked through the rooms again and collected everyone to start training.
You weren't doing well, even when you first walked onto the pitch you looked into the empty stands where you once ran up to see your ex and hug them after a game-winning goal.
You opted to tell someone but you shook it off, you were just sixteen relationships aren't important and they definitely wouldn't care about it much.
But the more you battled your brain about it the more you kept on stuffing up weather it was a dribble, a tackle or a shot at goal.
It was Mary who noticed first "y/n you good?" she asked as you missed another shot "yeah" you replied as you fought away the tears that tried to slip out just by the goalkeeper asking about your feelings.
She nodded before looking at Leah who shot her brows at her.
You kept on trying to kick some goals and missing or taking easy shots and Mary caught them with ease. You knew what was wrong but you didn't think it would impact your playing skills.
It frustrated you and all the girls were sharing looks about your 'skills'.
When training finished you stayed on the pitch and watched as they all went in, leaving you alone.
You grabbed a ball harshly from the sideline and took it to the penalty line and kicked it.
miss.
kicked it again,
miss.
then again,
post.
You were growing so frustrated as tears now ran down your cheeks and you swore loudly at yourself. You walked up to the ball one more time to grab it but your hand stopped once you reached it as you thought about the texts once more this morning and you let out a choked sob.
You hadn't given yourself time to really cry yet and now it finally caught up to you.
You didn't know that some of the team hadn't left yet as they were worried about you but watched from the top.
"She was funny before training" Alessia explained to Leah who had her hands crossed whilst she watched you try and kick penalties "She didn't look at me at all when I said hi" Beth piped up and Leah tilted her head "She never misses" she muttered.
Lucy noticed the frustration growing on your face "Do you think something happened at home?" she wondered quietly before the girls looked back at her and took it in.
You weren't aware of their eyes on you as you dropped to the floor with the ball and kicked it as hard as you could near the goals which hit the net.
"fuck off" you cried out with your annoyance at the accidental goal and you rolled up your long sleeve to your palms and put them to your face which you cried into.
It wasn't anyone's fault it didn't work out, you tried to tell yourself but you didn't believe it.
You left to pursue soccer, you left them behind.
They were your first love and you're the reason they left.
You were too focused on your own thoughts to hear Lucy running over to you and you were too tired to pry away her arms which were picking you up.
"y/n/n" she said as she turned you around but you found yourself hugging the older girl in comfort. Keira came in next her heart dropping at the sight of you hugging Lucy in tears.
"Y/n what's wrong?" Lucy asked softly as she looked down at you, you sniffed and looked up "they broke up with me this morning" you said and watched Lucy's reaction.
She breathed in before hugging you tighter "it's going to be fine y/n, you'll get through this" she said before Keira beckoned the other girls to come over "we will help you get through this" she said before nodding her head at the girls which were now on the pitch walking towards you.
You let go of Lucy to look at the Lionesses who where worried about you.
"I'm sorry I was shit today at training" you apologized to Leah who scoffed "Oh shut up we only care about if you're okay" she told you and hugged you as well.
"I do have one question though" Lucy said from behind you "what?" you asked
"Can I find them and beat them up?"
"Lucy!" Keira said and smacked her arm which you laughed at.
"Thanks, guys," you said with a smile that wasn't fake, you couldn't believe you lucked out with a team like this.
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echofades · 5 months
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NCIS: HAWAI'I | 3.10: Divided We Conquer
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wosohermoso · 1 year
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Lucy Bronze
Jealousy - Part 3
Warnings: Fluff, angst, ¿embarrassment?
Reader and Lucy’s relationship gets found out, and not in the way they had planned.
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The sun glistened through the bedroom window of Lucy’s apartment. I had been awake for a short while, just admiring the subtle, relaxed grooves of my girlfriend’s muscular back. Lucy was laying on her stomach besides me, her head facing in the opposite direction, tiny but deep breaths huffing out of her every time she exhaled. The night before had ended in dinners, a load of turmoil, and our relationship being found out.
_
We were at a restaurant with a few of Lucy’s teammates, our relationship still completely a secret. Me being friends with the same people as Lucy helped quite a bit - It meant that we could spend nights out together without having to explain why I was always tagging along.
I was seated next to Lucy, Keira sat opposite me with G sat next to her, and Leah perched on the end of the table.
“I say we go back to mine for drinks after this” Leah states, swallowing the last of her meal, all of us agreeing in unison besides Lucy.
“I think me and y/n are gonna head back to mine cause- didn’t you say you had a meeting or something in the morning?” Lucy recalls.
She wasn’t lying. I had a meeting or two scheduled early the next day, both of them being a short walking distance from Lucys house, and decided that staying over would probably be easier for me. Although, going back to Leah’s wouldn’t be a hassle, as long as I didn’t drink too much.
“I do have some work to sort out in the morning, yes” I nod, “But I suppose a few drinks wont hurt” I continue with a small chuckle, Lucy glancing at me with an unreadable expression.
_
We get back to Leah’s house, all of us scattering around the living room in confidence. Each of our homes had basically become everyone else’s, none of us were uncomfortable anymore, so when I slouched myself on her sofa and threw my legs up and over Keira’s legs she chucked with a small, friendly, and satisfied huff.
“Glass for you..” Leah smiles as she hands me a glass of - some kind of home made alcoholic concoction. “..and you” She hands a glass of the same mixture to Keira.
“What. Is that.” Keiras eyes widen as she inspects the glass. Leah shrugs with a devilish laugh.
The drink itself wasn’t too bad, we had all had a second, and were now all slouched across then living room watching a comedy.
My legs were still over Keiras, G and Leah were on the sofa to the left of us, and Lucy had positioned herself on the floor just in front of me, her head resting comfortably in parallel to my ribcage.
As we’re all watching the comedy, I feel Lucy’s head lean back slightly and catch her gazing up at me from the floor with a sort of pleading expression. I frown slightly before I catch her phone in her lap, her notes page open, with a note:
Please remove your legs from her.. :)
I try my hardest not to keep my laugh in at Lucy’s very sneaky way of communicating, before removing my legs from Keira and swivelling round so that my legs fitted comfortably either side of Lucy’s shoulders, so that she was now sat in between my legs.
Lucy and Keira had dated in the past, and although we were all friends, and the pair of them had promised each other that there were no bad vibes, I still felt slightly bad for sitting there with my legs draped over my girlfriends ex girlfriend. Keira had become one of my best friends though, but although it meant nothing to us, I still had to keep in mind the fact that it could still make Lucy uncomfortable.
Keira had dated other people since they broke up, and Lucy was completely fine with it, the pair of them no longer had any feelings for each other and they were both absolutely happy for one another’s new lives.
I glance down at Lucy’s phone:
Thank you 😂
Her next note said.
I give her shoulders a small squeeze before my attention averts back to the tv.
Myself and Lucy had become very comfortable in our own private relationship when it came to affection, although we held back completely when with others, but when my mind was focussed on the movie we were watching, I found myself subconsciously running my fingers along Lucys shoulders and neck. I could feel the hairs on her neck prick up in satisfaction as the others focused purely on the tv, and so I continued, my fingertips grazing through her loosely tied hair as she settles comfortably into me. Her head leans back slightly, looking up at me with a small smile and all I wanted to do at that very moment was to just give her a kiss.
We had been together for months now, and I was so over hiding the fact that she was my girlfriend. My eyes scan her face, her pretty green eyes, her lips, her freckles which i could only see faintly under the blue flickering glow from the tv. At that very moment, I was completely and utterly in awe. In more awe than I ever had been. It’s had completely dawned on me that I was well and truly in love. I reach down, giving her a quick peck on the lips, hoping no one saw for the sake of the attention - but I was completely taken aback when Lucys arm reaches up, stretching behind her to hold my head in place just a little longer, leaving a slightly more tender and loving, but very respectful and quick peck on my lips.
“Blimey” Keira splutters out, knocking both me and Lucy out of our very sensual trance. “Those two!” She points towards us, Leah lifting her head from the arm of the couch to peer over before letting out a amused giggle. G’s head snaps in our direction, her eyes widening in comedic horror.
“Now what is going on here!?” G gasps as I fall back into the couch in embarrassment, watching Lucy place her hand in her head with a small huff.
I glance over at Keira who’s chin rested delicately in her hand her fingers toying with her lower lip as she watches Lucy carefully. I could tell she could sense me looking at her, but she refused to make eye contact. I look over at Leah, who had also noticed the awkwardness. Maybe I shouldn’t have kissed Lucy right in front of her ex, who happened to also be my best friend.
“Right- well.. im gonna go and get some milk- before the shops shut” Leah states, clearly just looking for something to say and a reason to leave the awkward situation. “Wanna come Kei?” She asks and Keira nods, getting up in silence.
Myself, Lucy and G wait for them to leave, Lucy holding the bridge of her nose in defeat as she watches Keira get up and walk past, before the door closes behind them.
“What was that all about!?” G asks in shock.
I run my hand over my face as I wait for Lucy to speak.
“We’ve been seeing each other-” Lucy begins, G gasping in amusement, her face contortioning in both shock, happiness, and confusion.
“But” Lucy states, “we didn’t want it to come out like this. We didn’t want to upset Kei and we just wanted to- be able to enjoy our time together for a while in private without having others involved, especially the public”
“Sorry- what part in having a cheeky snog on Leah’s sofa is private” G chokes, earning an extremely dramatic sigh from Lucy.
“We were not snogging, I kissed her, and it just felt right I guess” Lucy chuckles in embarrassment and I feel my cheeks go slightly red.
“You have a lot of explaining to do to Keira ladies. I mean, I’m fine with whatever it is thats going on between you, we all kind of sensed the chemistry and tension between you both but we didn’t really know how to go about it” She laughs “but you should speak to Keira, she probably doesn’t care, but- you know.” We both nod.
“I’m gonna go freshen up” Lucy states, lifting herself from the floor, giving me a small squeeze on the shoulder before heading to the bathroom and locking herself inside.
G looks at me with a slight eyebrow raise. I couldn’t tell whether she was being judgemental, or if she just didn’t know how to asses the whole situation.
Leah and Keira arrive back - the shop was only just below the apartment, but it gave them enough time for the most of the awkward energy to simmer down.
“Y/n shall we have a chat..” Keira asks almost instantly.
“Mhmm” I nod getting up and brushing myself off, my shoulder muscles tensing due to the uncomfortableness of the situation.
Myself and Keira head to Leah’s bedroom and as the pair of us sit down on the bed, I head the bathroom door unlock from outside the room.
“Where’s y/n?” Lucy asks, and we hear Leah explain that I’m in the bedroom talking to Keira.
“Luce..” We hear Leah warn, before stating a faint “leave them” and we hear Lucys footsteps head back into the living room.
Keira smiles at me warily before opening her mouth to speak. I cut her off.
“Look Kei..” I start. “I’m sorry for how all of this came about. We definitely didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. We were planning on telling you all about it at the right time-”
“You’re seeing her then?” Keira asks abruptly. I nod. She nods back.
“Sorry” I sigh, “I get how hard it probably is for you. And I completely respect your feelings, honestly if it makes you uncomfortable I promise you I will never show affection to her in your presence-”
Keira chuckles in amusement, “First of all, you don’t need to avoid affection just because I’m around. I have no feelings for Lucy whatsoever, I promise you. It was just all a bit of a shock, considering my best friend and ex have been secretly dating behind my back.”
I apologise again.
“Theres nothing to be sorry for really” Keira states, “I have no problem with it, its just bound to throw me off a bit” She chuckles. “If you guys are happy then so am I, I really am. It’s just gonna take me a bit of time to adjust to. What a random situation” She laughs before placing her hand on my shoulder.
“I promise you I’m fine, as long as you are” I nod with a small smile before getting off of the bed and holding my arms out for an embrace. Keira gets up hugging me tightly her voice muffled by the tight squeeze? “I just wish you’d have told me cause I’d have loved to have helped you through the crush stage” She laughs before giving me a bro-ish slap on the back. “Love you” She laughs.
“Love you too Kei” I smile before we head out to the living room, the rest of the girls watching us with the nosiest expressions.
“You ok?” Lucy asks as I sit down next to her on the couch. I nod.
“Yeah, Keiras just shouted at me for shagging her ex” I state with a small menacing grin.
“I did not!” Keira protests “we’re literally fine, I’m happy for you, we’re fine” She smiles and Lucy turns to face her.
“Yeah?” She asks for confirmation.
“Yes” Keira chuckles, giving Lucy a small, playful shove. Lucy smiles at Keira. A smile of both relief and gratitude.
“Sooo..” Leah speaks up, “those meetings..” She giggles.
“We’re they just an excuse to go back to Lucy’s or do you actually need to be up early?” She asks, G laughing hysterically.
I glance at the time. 12AM. I had to be awake at 5.
“SHIT. I’m gonna have to go” I gasp, Lucy placing her hand on my knee to guide herself off of the sofa.
“I’m guessing the rush is for the meetings and not for ..sex, right?” Leah raises a brow as she watches me gather my stuff in a panic.
“Who knows.” Lucy flashes Leah a small smirk, earning a disgusted groan from both G and Keira.
“I’ll update you in the morning” She laughs, before the pair of us say our goodbyes and head back to Lucy’s.
_
513 notes · View notes
wileys-russo · 1 year
Text
woso blurbs masterlist
 🫶🏻  🫶🏻  🫶🏻  🫶🏻  🫶🏻  
✨ II alessia russo masterlist II AR23
✨ II leah williamson masterlist II LW6
✨ II mary earps masterlist II ME27
✨ II alexia putellas masterlist II AP11
✨  II jenni hermoso masterlist II JH10
✨ II barcelona femeni masterlist II FCB
✨ II kyra cooney cross masterlist II KCC23
✨ II katie mccabe masterlist II KM15
✨ II georgia stanway masterlist II GS8
✨ II a.russo & l.williamson x reader II
the wrangler
chess pawn
jersey jealousy
best behaviour
you’re not doing it right
i licked it so its mine
seeing red
flu season (2)
offence and defence
switch up
✨ II e.toone x reader II ET7
red vs blue
sorry seems to be the hardest word
headlock
tiktok edits
drama queen
rage room
✨ || m.león & i.engen x reader II
teasing
mario kart
bed bound
sunkissed
✨ || m.león x reader II ML4
coloring book
you love me, really
✨ || i.engen x reader II IE23
celebrations
✨ II awfc x reader II
drop kick
travel buddies
april fools
✨ II m.bright x reader II MB4
my captain
masterchef
fa cup final
flat packs
✨ II e.fox x reader II EF23
frenemies
intimidating
amazon packages
house hunting
brand deal
✨ II l.bronze x reader II LB15
the downpour
girlfriend
girlfriend ficlet
✨ II s.blackstenius x reader II SB25
tongue tied
my love you’re forgetting something
you look like you need a hug
✨ II g.clinton x reader II GC11
you never asked
restless
chocolate thief
the best view
✨ II a.kennedy x reader II AK14
panini
secrets out
golden hour
competitive streak
✨ II a.bonmatí x reader II AB14
half sized
stop taking signs home when you win a game
not helping
you're comfy
you can do it
✨ II e.carpenter x reader II EC21
roadrunner
✨II n.charles x reader II NC21
sweet jealousy
captain charles
✨ II m.bright x reader II MB4
my captain
masterchef
fa cup final
flat packs
✨ || m.le-tissier x reader II MLT4
trick or treat
hotshot
✨ II s.kerr x reader II SK20
crumble
✨ II p.guijarro x reader II PG12
how bad is it
✨ II m.rodriguez x reader II MR1
jump scare
✨ || h.raso x reader II HR16
world class
✨ II l.freigang x reader II LF10
lockscreen
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americaswritings · 10 months
Text
The Hunger Games Masterlist
Young Coriolanus Snow
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Words of Roses & Ruin | Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV
Coriolanus is forced to watch the gamemaker use his voice against you in the arena.
When we stole the night
When Coriolanus is send into the arena to get Sejanus he doesn't make it out and has to hide in the tunnels. That is where he finds you, his tribute.
MORE COMING SOON!
Finnick Odair
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MORE COMING SOON!
Add yourself to my taglist!
291 notes · View notes
trulyhblue · 9 months
Text
Home Away From Home
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Lauren Hemp x Aussie! Reader
Warnings: fluff, but awkward.
A/N — I know Caroline Weir scored the two goals in the Man City game that I talk about, but I've changed it a bit :)
Masterlist
______________________
Growing up in Australia was among the greatest privileges you had as a child.
Even in the midst of your career — a job you've dreamed of since you were little — your home soil was indescribable; nothing could beat the familiarity of home.
When the 2023 World Cup was announced to take place in Australia, you were feeling the effects of homesickness after six long months in Europe. You were signed by Manchester City at Nineteen, playing a critical midfield position after being a regular sub for your old club back in Australia. Your parents were sceptical of you leaving so early to such a big club. In no way were you prepared to face the challenges of adulthood as a whole other country, on the opposite side of the Earth.
You had only been playing for the Matildas for a couple of months when you were first signed to City, and it wasn't until the following year when your fellow Aussie teammates Alanna, and eventually Hayley and Mary, that you had the comfort of home to nurture you during rough patches.
Your family was your biggest supporter. Growing up, they sacrificed everything to meet the needs of their football journey. Your parents would leave early from work early to take you to training and surrender endless personal endeavours so that you could prosper in your dreams of going pro. You were very grateful for all that they had done, and as a result, their sacrifices became your motivation to be the best you could possibly be. You lived and breathed football. Everything revolved around football.
But when you moved to City, you found yourself stuck in a trance by a certain English Blonde.
For the most part, you kept to yourself at training. You didn't want to cause any trouble, and it seemed that most of the girls knew each other from youth squads, prior teams, or roommates at National Camps. You struggled to find your place in the squad at first. Being a relatively young team, you had lots of girls around your age, willing to be your friend, but the absence of home and lack of connection to the United Kingdom combined to make your personality shrink under a dismissive persona.
When Alanna joined City, you offered your apartment to her, having come from North London beforehand. Over the next months, you found comfort in the familiar Aussie accent, finding solace in the sliver of home you felt so distant to.
You still remained shy at training, trying hard and pushing out of your comfort zone every time someone had a conversation with you. Alanna found it hard to believe how introverted you were, having seen your confidence shine at Matilda’s Camps, and the Manchester Girls couldn't believe their ears when Alanna told them about how you were at home.
When Hayley came, you were smiling more. It wasn't that you weren't happy at City before the Australian girls arrived. You were thriving. In the 2020/21 season, you were dubbed as Young Player of The Year and had four ‘Player Of The Match’ awards under your belt. You worked extremely hard to make the starting eleven regularly, and people would often compliment your subtle but impressionable skills on the field. You weren't fast, but you were technical. You thought of the play that hadn't happened yet, shaping the game with unexpected yet calculated crosses. For two years, you had the second most assists in the WSL, merely missing Beth Mead.
In all honesty, the effects of having the reminder of home did help to boost your performance not only on the pitch but behind the scenes as well.
You can remember tapping your hands against the rim of your cubby, your home kit baggy on your figure. It was a very important game today — the final of the FA Women’s League Cup — against reigning champions Chelsea. You were starting, and your family had flown over to watch.
Your nerves upon walking out were tremendous. This was your first time starting in a final in the WSL. You don't remember a time you felt your hands shake this much. Alanna and Hayley were preparing for the match on either side of you, their faces impassive when both teams lined up in the tunnel of Cherry Rose Records Stadium.
Your heart was thumping out of your chest, palms sweating as you took your spot on the field.
When the whistle blew, you tuned everything out.
A powerful shot from Sam Kerr left Chelsea in the lead halfway through the first half. You tried hard to maneuver your way through the likes of Charles and Ingle, passing to Georgia and Keira as you struggled to pass Chelsea’s defence. Lucy was given a yellow which heightened the tension reeling in the stands. You buried the apprehensive bile rising in your stomach when the halftime whistle blew, signalling everyone to rush back to the changing rooms.
You placed your head in your hands, taking slow, desperate sips of your water bottle as you listened to the pep talks from all the players. Gareth Taylor, your manager, was shouting encouragement from across the room, staring into each and every one of your eyes, assuring the team that they could make a comeback.
“I want you to want this.” He said, circling the room with so much fervour that the room felt warmer. “I want to see the determination in your eyes. I want to see it in the tackles, the plays, the kicks, everything. The opportunities you making are good, they just need more precision.”
It was almost the start of the second half when Gareth asked for you, leading you over to the other side of the changing rooms, towards the shorter figure of one of your teammates.
Lauren looked just as nervous as you, but you hoped that you his your nerves a little better than her. Her blonde hair was held up in a pony, and small wisps of baby hairs framed her face after being exempted from the wind. She was a year older than you but has been in Manchester since 2018. Other than the odd, unusual sentence or two, neither of you had properly interacted.
Lauren looked up at you, her beady eyes locking with yours as she licked her lips, exchanging glances with the floor and you, awaiting the purpose of the conversation.
“I want you two to work together this half.” Your Manager urged. Both you and Lauren looked at him in surprise. He must've caught on since he held his hands up. “I know we haven't practised much between the two of you, I know. But Y/N, your crosses over the head of Chelsea defenders will inevitably shape up some opportunities for Hempo. Lauren, you know what to do when something comes up. I believe that truly, alright? Do you understand?”
You were still mulling over Gareth’s words when the whistle blew for the second half, but you felt an uncertain pair of eyes look out for where you kicked the ball. The surveillance of the English forward did not irk you. In fact, it pushed you to do as you were told.
It was two minutes in when an opportunity arose. You were given the ball by Alanna, who had pelted it away after a scary interaction with her and Kerr.
Gareth’s words played in your head, taunting you as the blonde’s eyes watched your actions intently. You were hesitant to do as he said. This was the one game your parents were here to see. Never once had they been to Europe, having not had the money to be able to fund both your football and fancy holidays overseas. You wanted to make them proud. You didn't want to risk such an important opportunity for it to go out or concede and let your team down.
You found Georgia and kicked it by her. She followed it up the middle of the field, passing it to one of your forwards, hand up in celebration when it went past the Goalie.
But for some reason, you couldn't find it in you to celebrate. You refused to meet the eyes of Lauren, who was no doubt throwing you a disappointed glance. You could feel the betrayal radiating in violent waves. You ran back to your starting position without a peep, determined to shake the guilt with another chance. You needed to win this game. You’d do whatever it took to do so.
Another goal from Ellen White led your team one in front, but it gave no comfort whatsoever in a game like this. If anything, it put the stakes higher. You hated penalties, the feeling of dread and anxiety filling you everything you watched each player attempt to concede. Even more so, you hated taking penalties. The possibility of that happening was enough to motivate you even more.
Guro Reiten was subbed off for Lauren James. A fresh pair of legs was dangerous coming up to the seventieth minute.
Chelsea was drawing closer and closer to equalizing with your second goal, causing an uprise in the tension between both the teams and the people watching. You grew more angsty when one of their attempts hit the crossbar, but when it landed near Keira’s feet, being shot past to where you stood, you knew this was now or never.
You sprinted down the wing with Georgia by your side, but you were only focused on the blonde in front of you.
“Here! Here!” Georgia screamed, holding out her hand to signal to you that she was ready. You contemplated it. There had been many times when Georgia had done that, and you had crossed the ball to her, and she had easily swished it past the goalie. You never doubted Georgia for a second, and you definitely knew she would've been able to shoot from where she was — she was clearly onside. But the Chelsea defenders had studied your gameplay back to front, and the same old cross to Georgia was something they had trained for — something you had trained for.
Something clicked in your mind when you met Lauren’s eyes. Something ignited inside of you. She must've felt it too, because she didn't even reach her hand up to signal towards you.
You both just knew what was happening. And that it would work. It had to work.
Without much thought, you kicked the ball to your right, watching as Chelsea gaped in alarm at the unsuspected pass and turn to and from Lauren.
You held your breath, stationery at the sight of Lauren’s risky attempts. She found a steady pace along the sideline stepping past Jess Carter, keeping her back turned to the goal. She used the back of her heel to trick both Carter and Berger. She had scored. Manchester City were winning 3-1.
You were the first to scream, a massive smile on your face as you ran towards Lauren, who spun to find you amidst the swarm of Chelsea players.
The two of you ran into each other with so much force that you both toppled to the ground, rolling around as the rest of your team piled on top of you.
The girls were screaming, you could hear the distant cheers of people in the stands. You heard Lauren’s exhausted huffs as you shovelled your head into her neck. Neither of you said anything. You both just had the silent agreement that what you did was game-changing, and that the non-existent relationship between you was no longer.
Despite the desperate attempts from the London team, the final whistle blew with the score maintaining a healthy lead. Your legs gave out as soon as the game ended, tears threatening to spill from your eyes and onto your cheeks as the weight of the season lifted from your shoulders. You felt a pair of arms lift you up, turning you around. The hug was only recently familiar, but tangible nonetheless.
Lauren held her arms around your waist, leaving you to collapse your arms over her shoulders. You watched her chest rise and fall, however, so slowly, a few choked sobs rang out from the older girl.
“I thought you weren't ‘gonna pass to me.” She said. You don't remember her ever speaking to you directly, but the attention made you blush.
“You could've gotten a double if I did.” You uttered, pulling her out of the hug. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She replied, her cheeks also dusted pink. “I'm just glad it was your assist.”
You wondered if she was trying to make you flustered because you noticed how fidgety she got when you eyed her nervously.
“I mean like— I like you— wait, no, well— I like your assist-”
“Same. I mean— I'm glad you scored from my assist. Like— okay wait that doesn't make sense.”
“I get what you’re saying. That's what I meant.” Lauren muttered back, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. “I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to assist me… in goals.”
“Yeah, same… in goals, yeah.”
Little did you know, your Aussie teammates Hayley and Alanna were standing next to Keira and Georgia, all overlooking the inept exchange between the two of you.
“God, you call that flirting.” Georgia laughed, the other three chuckling along. “Wouldn't want to see what their dates would look like.”
“Bloody painful, that's what.” Alanna sounded, taking a picture of the two of you.
“Wouldnt of expected anything different, to be honest. Both as awkward as each other.” Keira spoke.
And you were as awkward as each other, but that made for the perfect pair. A home away from home.
_____________________________
198 notes · View notes
samkerrworshipper · 9 months
Text
togetherness pt.3 | matilda’s x reader
lowkey have come to detest this series chase i started it in first person and i no longer write in that format butttt some of yall want it so i have to supply 🤷‍♀️
warnings/themes: self harm implications, talks of past sexual abuse, lots of trauma, comfort, just general sadness tbh
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As we pulled up to our own hotel Sam and Steph were smiling like idiots, joking about something or another. I was lost in thought, thinking about everything that had just happened. My haze was cut short though as my door was opened for me and Sam stood on the outside, waiting for me to hop out. I unclicked my seatbelt hurriedly before climbing out of the car and ducking behind the car to grab my bag quickly. My coping mechanism was to grab my phone out of my pocket and to start to scroll through it as I waited on Sam and Steph to collect their own things. My phone was my social crutch, when I felt awkward it was what I leant to.
“Kiddo, let’s go?”
My head was pulled from my phone as I came to the realisation Sam and Steph had both collected their belongings and were walking towards the front of the hotel, Steph passing her car keys off to the valet. I scurried after the two older women, my behaviour was oddly skittish and I was sure the both of them were picking up on it.
We flashed our ID cards at the front desk before making our way into the team front room where we left our kit bags, just so there was no confusion of them in the rooms. We all individually stowed away our bags, collecting whatever essentials we needed from our bags before leaving them in their spots for the night. I grabbed my drink bottle, my airpods and my ugg boots from my bag before walking over to the food table, it was the table where they left all the snacks that were there to be taken at any time of the day. I picked up a packet of gummy bears instead of a granola bar, Leah wouldn’t have been happy with my switch but I wasn’t eating a granola bar so it was an improvement?
After grabbing the bag of gummy bears, filling up my water bottle and grabbing a bottle of gatorade I followed Steph and Sam towards the elevators, waiting patiently as they clicked the button for our floor. They conversed between the two of them as we went up in the elevator, just general stuff.
“So Y/n/n, we’ll go get Steph’s stuff and we’ll bring it into your room and we’ll move whatever of your stuff is there into my room, okay?”
I nodded at Sam, excepting that this was happening.
As the doors opened I found myself following behind them as they walked towards their room. I followed them into the room as Sam unlocked it with her keycard. The room was similar if not identical to Ellie’s and I’s. Two, matching queen beds, a joining ensuite and two reasonable sized wardrobes. Steph very quickly packed her stuff up, throwing it all into her bags before procuring Sam’s help to move it down the hall. I wordlessly unlocked the door to formerly Ellie and I’s room. When we walked in Ellie was already in there, sitting on her bed, cuddled up in a pile of blankets and sweatshirts. She looked like she’d been crying and I found a part of me feeling bad for her. She was a good person, a person who had been through a lot considering her age.
“Y/n, can we talk?”
I couldn’t find it in me, even with the guilt riding through my body to look at her eyes. I knew that they’d betray me, that I’d no longer be able to be mad at her or annoyed if I was forced to look into those eyes.
“Ellie, how about we try this tomorrow morning? Y/n/n's tired, she’s not feeling too well.”
Steph’s voice was pretty forceful but Ellie found room to rebut.
“I just want to talk to her for fucks sakes, I deserve that at least before my fucking roommate is uprooted.”
I jumped back at Ellie’s harsh tone, finding myself in Sam’s personal space bubble. She didn’t flinch back at my sudden intrusion, instead pushed one of her own arms to my side, steadying me slightly.
“Ellie Maddison, you have already caused yourself enough trouble for one night, I would stop now. I already told you, Y/n/n isn’t feeling up to it. We can try this in the morning, if she wants. We wouldn’t be uprooting her if it wasn’t for you two behaving like three year olds. You both need sleep, not more petty arguing that is going to get us nowhere. Y/n, grab your things, we can talk this all out in the morning, both Sam and I are too tired to put up with any more of it.”
I scurried to collect my bag, I’d never really unpacked so it wasn’t hard. I just grabbed my pillow, bag, phone charger and backpack before scrambling my way out of the room. Sam helped me to haul my big bag down the hallway and into her room.
As soon as we closed the door behind us I could feel a part of me break, the part that broke inside of me every night when I crawled under the covers of my hotel bed or I collapsed on the floor of the ensuite. The vulnerable part of my soul that had never been prepared for this, never prepared for fame or attention. I mean as a kid I’d shied away from it as much as I could, kid Y/n was an insecure, anxious mess who had no idea what she wanted, that part of me was still the same.
“Do you need help unpacking? Steph had housekeeping come in today and clean our sheets so the beds are all clean, I try to keep fairly organised and clean but just a disclaimer that there are some stories about me sleep-talking that I neither deny or confirm.”
“I think I should be fine to put it all away, thank you though.”
Sam smiled at me and nodded, it seemed like there was something else hanging off of the tip of her tongue that she was deciding whether or not to say.
“Okay then, I’m just going to have a quick shower, I do not apologise if I start to sing, it’s a canon event.”
I snorted and nodded Sam’s way as I watched her dip into the ensuite. I set myself the task of firstly, getting changed. I clawed off my layers of matilda gear and very quickly changed into a pair of Qantas pyjamas that we’d gotten on our flight to Sydney, they were fresh and unopened and everything about them seemed comfortable. After I was done getting changed I set myself the task of stowing my bag away on my side of the wardrobe, I didn’t do much more than that, I didn’t really want to unpack right now. So I did a very quick version of my skincare routine and then climbed into my bed. It was comfy, the same as my one in the other room except it just felt different. Once I’d properly situated myself in the pillows I grabbed out my phone and started to scroll on instagram.
It was safe to say that when I was in a bag head space I spiralled a lot.
So when I was in the dumps about a bad game I would often find myself reverting to the hate pages on the internet. The internet is a fucked up place. Some of the things that strangers are willing to put out in the world about a person they don’t know is fucked. It was still a bad habit of mine though to constantly look at those posts.
Leah was always confiscating my phone after bad games, after bad days. She knew me too well, knew how when I got wrapped up in my own head there was nothing to do besides just be there for me. I fiddled anxiously as I flicked through the countless news articles that had been posted. The Australian had a particular hatred for me, had since I was a rookie and since they’d found some photos of me doing drugs back when I was a teenager and published it on the front cover of the Saturday papers. I’d had a particular shared hatred back at them after that. They had a field day every time I had a bad game, I was pretty much the leading lady of page 6. Our game last Saturday had been no different, one wrong kick and I was washed up and cracking under the pressure. The slew of twitter pages and reddit links that I’d been sent after that had been enough to make anyone feel sick to their stomach.
That was why I think I’d gotten roomed with Ellie, she was probably the most hated in the media on the team besides me. I think Sam had thought maybe we’d bond over it but neither of us were vulnerable enough to talk to the other about it. So it had just stewed between the both of us and honestly probably made it worse than it should have been.
“I don’t think I have ever seen a person in such an intense staring competition with their phone.”
I squealed as Sam very stealthily grabbed my phone from my own hands. I immediately sprung up, trying to retrieve it from her hands, I hadn’t had the opportunity to lock it.
“What are you hiding?”
I saw Sam’s interest peak as I fought intensely to grab my phone back. She held it above her head and I might have been taller than her but I couldn’t for the life of me manage to retrieve it from her hands even as I attempted to use her body as a climbing frame. After a few jumps and attempts I gave up, collapsing back into my bed and covering my body and head with the sheets and duvet. The room stayed silent as Sam did the inevitable and looked through my phone screen.
“Y/n.”
Her voice was even and I felt her bodyweight sink down onto the spot at the bottom of my bed. I felt her arms work their way up to the top of the duvet and slowly try to pry them out of my own hands. She succeeded fairly quickly, smiling at me as my face was revealed to the light of our hotel suite.
“There’s that pretty face, no need to be ashamed honey. You ought to not read into what Roger writes, he hates anything to do with women's sports, especially women who are succeeding so heavily at such a young age. You shouldn’t let your mental image of yourself be contorted by words written by a person who doesn’t know you or care about you, don’t do that to yourself, you deserve better.”
I looked at Sam, in all of her glory, sitting above me, an old nike shirt that looked like it had been washed 600 times. Her hair was brushed smoothly back into her classic low pony. It made me cry. Not sobbing crying, just wet, fat tears dripping down my face as I thought about that article. I could probably quote most of the journalist's work, I’d read it over and over and over.
“Come on now, don’t cry, please. You’ve done enough crying for tonight, don’t make me tickle you.”
Sam’s eyebrow rose in challenge as she stared down at me, silently challenging me to keep going. When I did, her hands found their way to my sides and started to tickle me intensely. I immediately let out a choken laugh, trying to suppress my giggles and cries.
“S-Sam stop ittt. S’ not fair.”
She smirked at me as she continued her abuse of my sides.
“Stop crying then, c’mon, there are better things to do with your time then cry over bullshit. I know Williamson would have my head if she knew that I was letting her girl get down in the dumps over something that’s out of your control. I am telling you now, honestly, your whole career there is always going to be someone who is going to try and take you down, journalists, social media, other players. It’s wrong, but we are women in a field that is predominantly presumed to be male dominated, we aren’t appreciated, we’re underpaid and we are slaughtered in the press for anything. The more you feed into it the worse it’s going to get, and I understand that the other stuff isn’t going to just go away but it is going to eventually get better, I promise you that.”
“You promise?”
Sam rolled her eyes and extended her pinky towards me.
“I pinky promise.”
I rolled my eyes at the cliche but interlocked my own pinky finger in hers and shook it. Sam reached down to wipe the tears from my face and smiled at me, a little glint in her eye.
“Now, I think it’s about time we got you tucked in, it’s been a big day for you.”
“I’m not tired.”
Sam rolled her eyes at my immediate defiance and plonked herself down next to me on the bed, resting beside me against the headboard. She lazily placed one of her arms around my shoulder, there was something so simple but complex about the whole situation.
“Do I need to explain to you the importance of getting eight hours?”
“This feels like one of those captain moments where you try and mom me into doing something that’s not going to happen.”
Sam snorted at my reply, nodding her head concedingly.
“Is the defiance just a young people thing or do you just enjoy being a pain in the ass?”
“There’s no fun in it if I agree to everything you tell me to do.”
Sam’s eyes damn near rolled into the back of her head.
“Is it hard using defiance as a defence mechanism constantly?”
The question took me back a little bit, it hadn’t been what I was expecting. She’d turned a pretty mild conversation into something deep so quickly that it took me a few seconds to recover.
“I don’t use defiance as a defence mechanism.”
My voice wavered a little bit, just enough for doubt to seep in.
“Yes you do.”
Sam’s voice was so matter of a fact, like she knew me better than I knew myself.
“No, I don’t.”
“You push everyone out, you don’t listen to anyone who is trying to help you out, you do things that are harmful to yourself without caring, you play with injuries, you put yourself in harms way a little bit to often, you hide your emotions, I could keep listing off if I wanted to.”
I hated how right Sam was, how observant she was, it made me queasy.
“Okay, so I do some of those things, but that doesn’t make it a defence mechanism.”
“What does it make it then? A form of self harm? A form of punishment? I think you’ve punished yourself enough, when does it all become enough, when in the mind of Y/n do you atone for your sins? Because from where I’m looking at it you are leading yourself in the direction of a cliff's edge and you aren't going to stop until you are over that cliff.”
I gulped, unsure of what to say to my skipper, because I couldn’t lie to her, not for the life of me but I also wasn’t going to sit here and listen to her pretty much tell me that I was suicidal or something.
“You don’t know what I’ve done or who I’ve hurt to get here.”
“I know you're a good kid, with a good heart and if Williamson decided to take a shot with you then you have to be worth it. I know you carry baggage, a lot more than you’ll ever tell anyone, some things that you don’t even tell Leah. I have my inferences, I know things are rough with your family, always has been. I know you're hard on yourself, far too hard on yourself considering you are nineteen. I know that you never saw yourself here, never saw yourself as being capable of being here and now that you are you are having an identity crisis because you are secretly terrified that you are never going to be good enough to be here, even though you are. You’re hurting a lot, I know roughly what you're doing to self soothe, it’s not good and I’m worried about you, all of us are.”
I bit down on my lip, staring out at the wall in front of me, unsure of what to say to Sam, because she was right in so many ways but her words were also like a stab in my heart, because until someone is telling you about your behaviours I don’t think it subconsciously sinks in.
“Something to think about, I’m always here kid, if you ever need to talk, or need help, or just someone to keep you company then I’m here, whatever you need.”
“I didn’t ever plan on being a professional football player,” I snorted in between my words, realising I was actually about to go down this path with my captain, a woman who had pioneered womens sport in Australia, “This sounds stupid but all I ever wanted growing up was to own a cattle station, wanted to live the humble life out on the farm. I know that sounds so stupid, because it’s so simple. But I never planned for this, I never wanted this. My parents put me into football and gymnastics when I was six and I was good at them, really good and it was for fun so it was fine. Then it wasn’t for fun and I was playing in national teams and olympic qualifiers. Then I broke my back falling off of a beam and I was happy, I was glad, because it meant that I could do what I wanted. Then I was in the party scene and everything was good, until it wasn’t. Then my parents were shipping me off to the AIS and I didn’t have a say. Next thing I’m here and I’m doing this and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. But a part of me never wanted this and I know that’s bad of me to say because there are thousands of girls who would die for my spot but it’s the truth.”
I took a deep breath as I finished up my spew of words, it was a lot, I wasn’t an oversharer, most of it was probably word vomit but there was something about Sam that just made me feel comfortable with being vulnerable, I didn’t know what it was.
“That’s not stupid, having dreams isn’t stupid and it’s okay for you to be upset that you didn’t get what you wanted. You have a gift Y/n, the way that you play on the field is truly exceptional and I am telling you now that if you want to be the best professional footballer, then you can. You could be one of the best players in the game, better than me or any other player on this team, I believe that whole-heartedly. You deserve that, if you want it. If you start to make healthier decisions for yourself, decisions that don’t harm you. When was the last time you ate a proper meal? The last time you took time out of your day to look after yourself? How long until it starts to seriously harm you? Do I need to tell you how dangerous it is for a professional athlete to not be looking after their body, you are important Y/n, and so is your health.”
I fiddled with a loose thread that was protruding from the doona below me. My captain's words were sinking in, deep, like a tattoo. Etching its way into my skin, painfully.
“I am fine, our doctors have had no issues with clearing me, I eat and I do look after myself.”
My justification was weak, it was in my voice and in my mannerism. My statement just wasn’t believable, as much as I was trying to push it.
“So you know how to pass a medical test? I’d expect you too considering you fooled Tony the whole time you were at the AIS that you weren’t using. I’ve heard the story, it just proves to me that you know how to get around testing.”
Fuck. Fuck. It wasn’t surprising Sam knew my history with drugs, I mean anyone who read the papers knew, it wasn’t private information. I was clean now, four years and proud of it. I’d had a bumpy road to recovery but I’d gotten there with time.
“I can look after myself.”
“Doesn’t seem like it.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“See, as soon as anyone tries to care for you, you close up.”
“I don’t close up. I just don’t respond to being interrogated.”
“You aren’t being interrogated.”
“Sure seems like it.”
“That’s a bit overdramatic, all I am trying to do is care for you, something you are adamant on avoiding.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, because I couldn’t deny Sam in what she was saying, I did push people out who tried to care for me. Long ago Leah had accepted there were some parts of me that I was never going to be able to talk to her about, that was why she’d forced me into seeing a therapist.
“I don’t need you to care for me.”
“The scars on your thighs say otherwise.”
I blinked for a few seconds, taking a deep gulp as the words that Sam had just said set in, had she actually gone there? Had she actually just said that.
“That was a low fucking blow.”
Sam was clearly taken aback by her own words, it had clearly just spilled out of her. Sam was no filter, so it had come to me as no surprise that she frequently blurted, just the fact she’d said that though hit me deep.
“I’m not wrong.”
I could feel tears stemming at the back of my eyes, at the realisation that I was about to have this conversation.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Does Leah know?”
“She’s had her queries, she doesn’t push it.”
“She doesn’t push the fact that you cut yourself?”
If her previous words hadn’t hit hard, those ones had, because those words, that assumption, that accusation was so confronting.
“It’s not like that.”
“Explain to me what it’s like then.”
I pushed Sam’s arm off of my shoulder, feeling like I need a more face to face conversation. I pushed myself off of the bed head, so I was sitting between Sam’s two legs, my legs crossed. It was vulnerable for me, just talking to someone about my feelings was vulnerable for me.
“When I was 15, when I gave up the drugs. I was in a lot of pain, I hated myself. It wasn’t easy, I mean I was trying pretty much everything I could to get injured. I got arrested for speeding underage twice, both times Tony had to bail me out. I was just a mess, so I started to hurt myself, to stop myself from seriously injuring myself. It was the only thing that I could do that would make me feel better, the only thing that I could turn to when shit got real. So it became my thing, then I turned pro and I stopped for a while, especially when Leah started to get on my case about it but then we got to training camp and it was all too much so I started again and I know it’s a bad habit and it’s serious but Sam, I wouldn’t be here right now without it.”
“Are you suicidal?”
It was a question I definitely wasn’t prepared for.
“I’ve had suicidal thoughts over the years, I’ve had my fair share of bad moments but no, I’m not suicidal. I don’t do it because I want to die, I do it because it gives me relief, from life, from football, from stress. For me it's an outlet, when life gets hard that’s how I deal with it. It's unhealthy but it’s what works for me and I know that it’s bad but it’s what works.”
Sam nodded at me, there was a certain softness to her words and features the more I spoke to her, the more barriers that I let go. Sam’s own hand found its way to my bicep, silently comforting me and telling me to stop rambling.
“I get it. You do what you have to do to survive, and there is nothing wrong with that. You do what you have to do to get through the day. You’re not broken. This isn’t something to be embarrassed about or guilty for. You are still a child Y/n, in so many ways. The world is hard sometimes, what we do is hard sometimes, we all have needs. You scavenge for anything that helps you to get through because you want to survive, you want to be ok. Then it works, so you continue to survive. Good for you, you figured out how to survive. You don’t need to spend everyday in survival mode anymore though, you have love in your life that prevents the constant need to survive.
The words burnt my soul and I could feel the tears brimming up again. I hated crying.
“You’re living your old life Y/n/n. But it’s done, it’s over. You get to have the good things that you never had, you can meditate, or go on holiday, you can read books, you can learn a new language, you can learn how to live in a way where you don’t have to hurt to handle all of the things that scare you. No shame, just growth, okay. You don’t have to hide in your ensuite at night by yourself, like you taught yourself to do to survive, am I clear?”
Sam’s eyes bored down into my soul, her words were so strong and definite.
“You’re going to call me, or Leah, or your therapist next time you feel like doing it, that’s an order. You are going to call one of us, call me, and I’ll talk to you, I’ll talk to you for however long it takes for you to understand that this,”
Sam’s hand fell down to my thigh, where we both knew the scars laid, underneath my sweats,
“Isn’t the solution, not anymore, we’re leaving it in the past. This isn’t your way to survive anymore, from now on you aren’t going to just survive, we are going to make you live, I promise you that. From here on out you are going to live, and enjoy living. I am going to try my hardest to keep to that promise, but you need to as well. Promise me you are going to try and do more than just survive, because this shit in the press, it sucks, but it’s going to go away and once it does you are going to be lost, you are going to struggle and that fight that you put in everyday to be here, it’s not going to be as present and when that happens, when all of the outside threats are denominated you are going to hit rock bottom, there’s one positive of hitting rock bottom though, there’s only one way up and when you realise that you have the potential to go upwards and you want to, life is going to get better.”
“Y’know I get why Polks and De Vanna recommended you for captain.”
My words were said with tears and snot running down my face, with the realisation that right now, I was being held accountable for my shit and it was a hard realisation. My captain's words had hit home for me with the realisation that there wasn’t room for me to behave like I previously had.
“I try my best, I expect you to do the same. This relationship, this situation, it doesn’t work if you aren’t prepared to put the work in, if you aren’t prepared to hit rock bottom and work upwards from there. When you do hit that bottom, I want you to call me, tell me you’ve had a bad day, or don’t, talk, or listen, whatever you need.”
I nodded at Sam.
“I am going to try.”
She smiled at me and nodded, all encouragement and comfort.
“Okay then, okay. Come here kid,”
Sam opened her arms for me and I collapsed into them, grateful for just the warmth and comfort of Sam’s arms. I understood why all of the girls gravitated to her, why they seeked her out so often. She understood, she didn’t judge, she listened and then she gave advice, good advice, meaningful advice. One of her hands went to my back, gently rubbing across the nooks and valleys along my back. The other hand reached to the nape of my neck, gently twisting and brushing out the hairs that laid at the beginning of my hairline. I lent into her touch, silently finding so much comfort in her actions.
“M’ sorry, sorry that I didn’t come to you earlier.”
“It’s okay kid, I understand, you were scared and you didn’t know who you could talk to about that. What’s important is you know now, you know that I am always here for when you need help and I expect you to come to me from now on, no more hiding and struggling in silence, okay?”
I nodded into Sam’s arms, just silently finding so much peace and solace in being held. I hadn’t been held in months, not since I’d been with Leah and the last few months with Leah had been hard to say the least. She’d done her ACL, and it wasn’t anybody's fault, I hadn’t been prepared for it though. Both Leah and I were going through rough patches and neither of us were prepared to look after another human being besides ourselves. There had been countless nights between the two of us spent crying and fighting with each other. It was rough, we’d worked through it though. It was hard though, and a part of me felt guilty for not being okay, and a part of me felt like Leah was going through so much worse than me and I could never burden her with my stupid problems.
“Now, I think it is definitely time that we get you tucked in and asleep, I won’t take any arguments, you look like you could sleep for days if you needed.”
I just nodded at Sam, any fight, any defiance that had been in my body was gone, I just didn’t have it in me. She was right, I was tired, I’d hardly slept the whole world cup. I was an insomniac, so that was to blame partially, partially I also just didn’t feel safe sleeping. Ellie was always on the phone with her girlfriend, when she wasn’t she was trying to talk to me or do yoga or something. She’d also been slaughtered in the press most of the tournament, it was messing with her, everyone could tell. Her techniques for combatting her anxiety about it though was annoying to say the least, being the younger one in the situation I didn’t have the confidence to tell her that her habits were fucking annoying to say the least.
I didn’t fight back as Sam gently laid me down on my bed, pulling the covers up over my body and very gently tucking me in.
“Have a good sleep, kid.”
She smiled at me and I smiled back.
“You too cap, thank you, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Sam patted me on the head, giving me her signature smirk.
“It’s no trouble, now get some sleep yeah, I need you to be coherent for tomorrow.”
I nodded along with Sam’s statement, watching as she got up off of my bed and walked towards the light switch, turning it off before jumping into her own bed. She rustled around in her sheets for a few minutes before finding her spot, a few minutes after the rustling ended I heard her breath slow and even out, indicating that she’d fallen asleep.
The situation was not the same for me, it took me a few hours to fall asleep and once I did I only slept for two hours, it was fitful sleep, very light and not very good. I laid in bed for a while before deciding around 5 that I was going to go for a run. I got up as quietly as I could, throwing on a pair of shorts and a sports bra. Once I’d gotten dressed I picked out my pair of running sneakers before creeping my way out of the hotel room and trying my very hardest to keep my steps silent as I walked down the hallway and into the elevators that took me down to the lobby. Our hotel was about 200 metres from the beach, so I made the decision I would take my morning run along the beach.
It was still dark out as I made my way out onto the main road and started my jog down to the water's edge. The sun probably wouldn’t rise before I came home. I planned to do about ten km, the beach was around 4 or so long so If I ran up and then down I would probably do about that. As soon as I got down to the waters edge I started to run properly.
Running had been one of my releases since I was 12. Whenever I was angry I went for a run, when I ran everything stopped. It was just me and the music that I had running through my headphones. It felt the same as I set my pace along the sand, like all of the fucking mayhem from the past twenty four hours was just mellowing out, becoming background noise. If I could always be running I would. The only time I ever felt like I was myself was when I was running. The feeling of your heart pounding against your chest, the feeling of your breath hurting in your throat and the dryness in your throat. As I ran the sun slowly started to rise, slowly climbing along the horizon. I made it about three quarters of the way before I ran into someone, one of the last people I wanted to be seeing.
For a second I wasn’t quite sure who it was, they were the only other person on the beach, standing along the shoreline. As I sprinted my way back to my starting spot the body slowly started to become bigger and the fear in my gut slowly grew. I couldn’t make out much more than their body, with the lack of lighting present in the room. As I slowly approached though, more features slowly started to become more recognisable and I silently screamed internally as I realised who exactly was.
As I approached them I slowed my pace, down to a slow jog, almost a walk. I slowly approached them and internally froze as they turned to face me. Fuck.
“It’s a nice morning.”
Lucy’s face was stone serious, and her words didn’t reflect the general attitude that she seemed to hold.
“So you're enjoying the motherland, then, the sunrises are unbeatable.”
“I’d be enjoying it more if I hadn’t been pulled out of my bed at 5am this morning to come and find you because Kerr texted Leah saying you’d disappeared and she didn’t know where to.”
“I’m allowed to go on a run.”
“You didn’t leave a note, after having what I’ve perceived as a fairly rough twenty four hours.”
“I don’t need the lecture.”
“La Reina wouldn’t have a bar of this attitude.”
“Alexia isn’t here.”
“It could be arranged, if I deem you in need of some attitude adjustment.”
I braced myself in front of Lucy, she was a scary woman. When I’d started in the WSL I’d originally been selected by Barcelona, then after half a season I’d been traded to Arsenal. I’d liked it at Barca, if I hadn't been traded I probably would have still been there, Barca was good, when I’d gotten there I had been a basket case, it had been what I’d needed. I was 17 at the time, and had no idea what I’d wanted, Barca had taught me how to wake up every morning and do something with life.
Lucy opened her arms up to me and I let myself fall into them, letting the older woman embrace me. Her arms were strong and they hugged me to her tightly, comfortingly, in the way that a mother would embrace their child. That was what Barca had given me, a good relationship with people that were like substitutes for my mom.
“It’s good to see you, Luce.”
“It’s good to see you as well kid, although I would have preferred it to be under different circumstances.”
She released me from her arms and sat herself down on the sand, nodding at me to sit down next to her. I followed suit, so we were both sitting on the sand, looking out at the sunrise.
“You’ve been doing it again.”
“I don’t know what you're talking about.”
“I don’t want to tell Ale that you’re lying to me as well.”
I crossed my arms across my chest in frustration, grumbling at Lucy.
“She’s not even my captain anymore.”
“She’s still the woman who took you under her wing, she’s your blood, mija.”
I pursed my lips and looked out at the horizon, the sun was truly rising now, the bright pink and oranges mixing into a tie dye across the sky.
“How’d you know I was going to be down here.”
“Just a hunch, I know how much you like your runs.”
“I wasn’t running away or anything, I just needed to think.”
One of Lucy’s arms fell over my shoulders, it was heavy but so soft at the same time.
“I know mi amor, you should have told someone where you were going though, especially considering the events of the last few hours, you worried a lot of people.”
“Leah told you?”
“She told me she was worried about you, that you had a lot on your plate right now, more than a 19 year old should be handling.”
I pursed my lips again, Lucy’s words were so pensive, so calculated but present at the same time. It was bizarre.
“I, just, this world cup, it was supposed to be the defining moment in my career, when I proved to everyone that I was as good, if not better than everyone else they were comparing me too. But I haven’t been performing, the press hates me, I just can’t catch a break.”
“Sounds like you need a sabbatical.”
I snorted a little bit at Lucy’s words.
“I’m serious, you know, after this, you should take some weeks off. Leah needs it as well, go somewhere, wherever your heart feels like you need to be and just live, or learn to live. Turn your phone off, eat as much as you want, exercise as little or as much as you want, just let yourself be happy, without everyone else, without football, without social media and other people. Learn to love yourself.”
I’d been handed so much emotional advice over the last few hours, it was a lot to absorb, a lot to think about.
“I miss La Reina, I miss Barca.”
“I know mi amor, but you have to be here, you have to be in London. It’s what you are destined to be doing, Ale and us all miss you but you are doing such good things where you are.”
“Your taking me back to the hotel, aren’t you?”
Lucy nodded at me sadly and I took one final deep breath before lifting myself off the sand and dusting any remnants of it off of my clothing. I helped Lucy up and then we both started to walk towards the beach exit.
“I’ll be there to watch you tomorrow, Kei, Leah and I. Play for us yeah? Make us proud.”
The walk back to the hotel was rather sullen, both Lucy and I staying fairly silent, her guiding me to the doors with a hand secured on my lower back. When we got to the door I gave her a hug before parting ways and stepping into the lobby. The team room was a little bit more alive then it had been when I’d walked through earlier in the morning. Kat, Harper, Charli and Ky were all awake, having breakfast together, as well as a few of the other veterans. I made my way through the lobby as quickly as I could, I couldn’t be bothered with talking to anyone.
When I did get back to my room, I was very surprised to find Sam, Steph, Haley and Alanna waiting for me. I was the first person to speak, slipping off my shoes next to the door and breaking the tension.
“Isn’t it a bit early for a mothers group meeting?”
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kyracooneyx23 · 3 months
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° *₊ ° . ° .• MASTERLIST and WIPs •. ° . °₊* °
⋆ ★ Kyra Cooney Cross ★⋆
Missed You More It's your first camp back after your ACL injury, but you best friend Kyra's acting strange
 ↳ Favourite Pest You finally find out what's caused Kyra to act so weird
Friend of a Friend Charli introduces you and Kyra, and the two of you end up getting along a bit too well [aiming to post it around late August]
Forget About it After avoiding her for as long as possible you have to play against the girl who broke your heart so many years ago. [aiming to post it around late August]
-> ⋆ Kyra and Sunny Series ⋆
•.¸¸☆Sam Kerr☆¸¸.•
6ft 5 You're filming a tiktok and Sam wants everyone to know your hers.
 ↳ 5ft 8 After signing a contract extension with Chelsea, you can't help teasing Sam over a lie she tells in a video
✧ ✦ ✧ Caitlin Foord ✧ ✦ ✧
Caitlin x child!reader series (coming soon)
Squirt You're meeting the Arsenal girls for the first time
Popular You find yourself the center of attention when all the girls are fighting to be your favourite
But you're my mumma? Caitlin starts spending more time with Katie and less time with you
•♬✧Leah Williamson✧♬•
Enchanted You write a song about England's captain after meeting her briefly at an event not expecting her to share your feelings
 ↳ You are in Love After back and forth messaging and a few dates you and Leah begin to go more public with your relationship causing the fans to go wild [posting date tbc]
Waldosia a condition in which you keep scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there, as if your brain is checking to see whether they're still in your life, subconsciously patting its emotional pockets before it leaves for the day.
Maybe in Another Life You hadn't seen Leah since you'd broken up three years ago and now when you see her again you being to regret ever letting her go
Crossing Loyalties Leah's a red, you're a blue and you 'hate' each other. Well at least that's what the fans think. [aiming to post it early Spetember]
baby fever you'd always heard your friends talk about how much they wanted kids but had never felt the same until now.
⋆ ★ Katie McCabe ★⋆
Snapchat Katie accidentally leaks your relationship on snapchat with all the fans [posting date tbc]
St Patrick's Day You're first time meeting Katie's family is on Saint Patricks day and it's a bit overwhelming [posting date tbc]
∘₊✧ Lionesses ✧₊∘
Winners are Grinners You've just won your first major tournament with your country (teen reader) [posting date tbc]
•.¸¸☆ Matildas ☆¸¸.•
No 1 trio It's a fight to see who the better trio is - Macca, Alanna and Caitlin or You, Mini and Kyra [posting date tbc]
Little Menaces You and your best friend Harper Gorry are bored and decide to annoy all your aunties. (part of the Caitlin Foord x child!reader series) [posting date tbc]
⋆ ★ Alexia Putellas ★⋆
Odio Amarte All of your Barca teammates think you and Alexia need to get together, but the two of you are 'enemies'.
First Camp It's all to much for you on your first ever Spain camp (teen reader) [posting date tbc]
La Reina You finally shoot your shot with the queen of Spain [posting date tbc]
✧ ✦ ✧ Niamh Charles ✧ ✦ ✧
I wanna ruin our friendship Niamh wants more than anything to tell you how she feels but she's to scared to lose her best friend [posting date tbc]
Let's tell the world you and Niamh decide it's finally time to go public with your relationship [posting date tbc]
•♬✧ CWFC ✧♬•
We made it After battling injuries, sicknesses and mental health problems for years, you finally made it all the way to the final day
•.¸¸☆AWFC☆¸¸.•
Go away (platonic) You and Kyra are always up to no good, but one day it gets all to much for your Arsenal teammates.
✧ ✦ ✧ Lucy Bronze ✧ ✦ ✧
Don't be sorry the matildas lose to england in the semi final of the world cup and you take the blame
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wosowrites · 1 year
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Starting a New Streak (Leah Williamson x Reader)
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warnings: ⚠️swearing⚠️
a/n: I don’t think ive ever written a fic so fast and so emotional. i decided to write this now because the issue of the hate Leah is getting is really making me emotional so I want to get this fic out while im all high up on my emotions and love for Leah. Based off this request here
prompt: in which the reader and Leah have been best friends since they were 15 and are both secretly hiding feelings for each other that get revealed after the australia v england game.
11 years of knowing Leah. 11. Nine of those years you were withholding your feelings for the blonde. You had tried dating other people, other footballers, just others. But no one was Leah. No one was her.
You were all riding high on the Finalissima win going into the Australian friendly, you felt light and happy. 30 game winning streak. Let’s go England.
But everyone makes mistakes… right? You had made a fair few yourself, and you were especially good at beating yourself up about them. An own goal in the first Euros game had you crying in the changing room, even though it all worked out. A complete giveaway during an Arsenal v Chelsea game that lead to Manu having to make a bad tackle and get a red. The gunners lost that game 3-2. You felt as though it was your fault… and it was… but your teammates were by your side. And Leah didn’t leave you along for a minute, didn’t leave you a second to think that you were anything else than… well… human.
The lineup was interesting, Esme starting in defence with you, Jess and Leah instead of Leah, Lucy and you. You felt weird about that, but wanted to be happy for the young defender.
From kickoff, the lionesses were dominating. You had gotten a few shots off and were making good plays, so the fact that nothing was coming out of them angered you to no end. That was the first problem. The team wasn’t connecting. And then, as she always does, Sam Kerr happened.
A good ball was made from the australian defence. And then, it was Sam versus Leah.
Leah got to it first, but it just wasn’t enough. She tried her best to get her head on the ball to secure it into Mary’s hands, and she did. But it was missing that extra power.
The australian striker was fast, and incredibly talented. Kerr just needed a little chip over Mary, and she delivered.
Leah threw her head back in annoyance as Mary watched the ball go in the net from her knees. Nothing to be done.
You jogged up to her, putting your hands on Leah’s shoulder. "Look at me, Lee. It’s okay. It happens I should have been there to support you more. Team mistake," you said to her.
She nodded absentmindedly and apologized to Mary who clapped her on the back and told her to keep going.
Bur it wasn’t a team mistake. It was a Leah mistake. But Leah was part of the team, she was your skipper, your best friend, your teammate, your world. And so it was a team mistake.
You kept going. As a defender, you shockingly got a few opportunities on net, but you weren’t able to conceive a goal. "FUCK!" you yelled, throwing your head back in anger and sighing loudly as the ball you had just shot grazed the outside of the post. "It’s all good! We got this!" Georgia said, tapping you on the back and letting you jog back to your defensive role.
The first half ended 1-0.
You all walked back into the changing room, Sarina telling you to think of the game as goalless to take the pressure off. "Let’s capitalize on our opportunities girls!" Sarina said, clapping her hands and sending all of you off.
You slung your arm around Leah, holding her a little to close for friends. "Brush it off, love. Brush it off," you told her, kissing her cheek gently before parting with her as you got into the view of the cameras.
Time was a blur, it was like it was non existent. It passed, but you didn’t notice. All you could think was that opportunity after opportunity was being missed, and wasted, and you wanted to yell at yourself more than anything.
And then the 66th minute came.
You didn’t even notice who shot the ball. All you noticed was the deflection off of Leah’s arm, and that Mary went right as the ball went left. You heard the scream of joy, the kind of scream that only happened when a player scored their first goal for their country. You knew it well. You had let out that scream three times. Once for U-15, another for U-17, and the loudest one of all, for the senior team.
Leah looked like she was on the verge of tears and then and there you wished for nothing more than to wrap her in bubble wrap and protect her from the world. You were scared of what people would say.
You were scared of the bad fans. And you knew Leah was too.
The final whistle marked the end of an era. 30 games unbeaten. Gone.
Ouch.
"Leah!" you said, rushing up to her and trying to hug her as she walked into the tunnel. "Get away from me! I don’t need you telling me it’s not my fault, okay?! I don’t want you right now. Just let me be," she yelled.
You froze. Everyone heard. Lucy looked shocked. Keira looked uncomfortable. Sam looked hurt for you. And everyone else looked like they just wanted to run.
"Okay."
"Leah! I don’t want to do this but they want you for media," Sarina said. Leah looked broken at those words. "Tell them she’s not available. I’ll go," you said. "Wait- y/n. I’m-" Leah tried to apologize, her heart breaking as she processed the words she had said to you. "Don’t. Go," and with that, you walked away.
You shook hands with the interviewer and camera man. "Leah’s not available. I’ll be here instead. Can we do this quickly please?" you asked, not caring that you were already on live TV.
The crew nodded.
"How do you feel after this loss? Ending a streak, ending an era. What’s it like?" the woman asked. "I’m scared. Genuinely that’s the only feeling I can stomach right now. Obviously I’m aware that the disappointment and anger will settle in later but right now I’m just scared. Obviously mistakes were made. Yes, by Leah. The most obvious ones were but not only from her. From all of us. Um…" you sniffled, pinching your nose and biting your cheek. "Yeah. When you get to the level where everyone is watching you it’s great but it’s also scary. Loosing is scary because of what people say. I want to just… wrap Leah in bubble wrap because I’m so scared of what people will say about her online. She’s amazing and i’ve known her for forever. She’s led us to four trophies and a wonderful streak. But everything comes to an end. But i’m making it clear here and now that Leah’s talent is not ended. Our confidence hasn’t faltered," you admitted.
Never had you been so raw on love TV. There was no editing on live TV, no tweaking, no clipping, no editing. Just your words for everyone to hear.
"Is this a setback for the World Cup?" she asked.
"No. Not at all. I think this may be a blessing in disguise. Going into the world cup beaten humbles us. We understand that we are beatable. Tonight was easily my hardest night in an England shirt and I felt as though I wanted to scream the whole game but a setback? The Lionesses don’t have setbacks," you told her, and the world as a matter of fact. "One last thing. If you could say anything to the fans, what would it be?"
You took a second to think. "Thank you for standing with us through all our wins, all our trophies. The cups and awards and championships in our trophy cabinet are just as much yours as they are ours. I hope, that if you are a real fan, that you will stick by us through this loss. I hope you stand by us because we love you all very much. Also, any hate comments on my posts, and you’re blocked."
You took off your headphones, smiled gently at the interviewer and walked away.
The walk back to the changing room was silent other than the sound of your heart beating out of your chest. Had you said too much? Had your feelings for Leah taken over your words? Maybe. Probably.
You pushed open the door of the changing room and walked inside, finding the whole team sitting in silence, still in their kits.
They all looked up as you walked in, some of the younger girls who had played were red eye’d.
Their looks on you sent your heart into overdrive. You took a gasping, shaky breath as your throat closed and leaned your head against the wall, palms pressed to the cool tile as though if you pushed on the wall hard enough, it would take back the words you had said on live TV. "If you write hate comments i’ll block you? What the fuck was that." you thought.
Lucy and Mary were by your side quickly, concerned by your shaky sobs. "Shh. It’s okay. What is it?" Lucy said, gently grabbing you and letting your head rest on her shoulder as Mary rubbed your back. "The interview… I said too much. And Leah’s mad at me. And we- Im scared of what people will say about her. I’m in love with her," you said.
The last part was nothing but a whisper for only Mary and Lucy to hear. The two seniors looked into each others eyes, a silent demonstration of shock. "Where is Leah?" you asked, pulling away from Lucy and wiping your face with your sweaty, muddy, and grass covered jersey. "Washroom. Hasn’t come out in ten," Mary said.
You nodded and then walked deeper into the changing room towards the door connecting the guest locker room to the washroom.
You pushed open the door gently, seeing Leah sitting on the floor, her head in her hands, her body shaking with sobs.
"Leah…" you cried gently, tears steaming down your own cheeks again. She looked up quickly, her face more broke than you had ever seen it before. "I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t. I’m sorry," Leah cried, her voice trembling and getting caught in her throat. "It’s okay. It’s okay," you said, quickly heading over to her.
You let your body slip down the wall. You put your arms around Leah and she did the same to you. For the time your bodies pressed together, you didn’t care how the other stentched of sweat, and mud… and fear and pain and disappointment. You only cared about each other.
"Leah this couldn’t be worse timing but-"
"I’m in love with you," Leah said, cutting you off. Your eyes widened as you pulled away from her. "You cut me off," you said, not realizing you were in a little bit of shock. "What?" she said, sniffling. "You interrupted me! I was going to say. Leah. This couldn’t be worse timing but I am in love with you," you said.
It sunk in how stupid your words had been, considering Leah had just said the same thing. "Really?" she said. "Yes. And don’t watch the interview they made me do because it’s embarrassing and sad," you told her.
She let out a small laugh and leaned her forehead against yours. "30 games unbeaten streak broken," she said. Somehow, her breath smelled sweet. "Well we have another streak. 11 years of friendship. That’s a good streak. And I say we start another one," you told her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah? One minute of you being my girlfriend and… counting."
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dullwaterlily · 8 months
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🌷 𝐰𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐬 🌷
💐 𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬 💐 ~ 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘴
~ 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘢 𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘰 ~
~ 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘢𝘮𝘴𝘰𝘯 ~
~ 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘱𝘴 ~
~𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘻𝘦 ~
💐 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐢 💐 ~ 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘴
~ 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘢 𝘱𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘴 ~
~ 𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘪𝘢 𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘢 ~
~ 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘪 ~
~ 𝘮𝘢𝘱𝘪 𝘭𝘦𝘰́𝘯 ~
~ 𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘯 ~
~ 𝘰𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘭𝘭𝘦 ~
~ 𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘰𝘯𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪 ~
💐 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐮𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐧 💐 ~ 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘴
~ 𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢 ~
💐 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐚𝐬 💐 ~ 𝘧𝘪𝘤 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘴
~ 𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘳 ~
~ 𝘬𝘺𝘳𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘴𝘴 ~
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Pain That Shines Bright (Crimson Mask Chapter 3)
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Warning: Swearing and Panic attacks
You smile faintly as you heard the sound of rain hitting the car window. It was a therapeutic sound that let you sink into your cover, you were currently wrapped up in a cover lying down in the backseat of a car. You looked at the car window from where you laid, seeing the rain hit the window and the grey cloud filled sky.
You were back in England, You didn't have to return to Barcelona for a couple weeks thanks to Giráldez. He wanted to have you fully recovered and ease yourself back in. So you decided to go back to London and stay with Fran Kirby, your old teammate and old roommate. but she wouldn't be able to pick you up from the airport so you would be picked up by two other old friends of yours
"Your alive back there?" You hear a from a certain Yorkie who is in the driving seat driving seat
"Nope" you nonchalantly said in effort to make banter "Uh no Beth, our child is in a coma" You hear the Dutch native say from the passenger seat. "What a shame Vivi" The driver said sarcastically. "I'm just gonna use your water to spray it on the child to be sure, ok Beth?
"IM UP!" You say sitting up to avoid being attacked by Vivianne Miedema who was holding Beth Mead's water bottle about to spray you before laughing at your reaction. You rubbed your face "How long till we hit your place?" You said looking at the houses of london fly by as you drove past them. "About two minutes, F/N" You hear Beth say.
You didn't have a house in England since you moved to Spain but in efforts to get away and recover.....and avoid Lucy and Kiera. You contacted Beth asking her if there was any hotels around her area to which she responded to telling you, you would be staying with Her and Vivianne. You tried to protest but they made good points. Them being having a place to stay, being looked after by 2 people you know and because they said so. You did feel bad about staying with them as Beth just recovered from her injury and Vivianne only just started to train again.
"I missed the rain" you said looking out the window "Wow you really did hit your head- Ow" you gave a light huff of laughter as you flicked Vivianne's ear making Beth giggle as you felt the car pull to a stop. You shake your head with a little smirk as you looked at you reflection in the window. Looking at the scar on your head. Lightly touching it
"Honey we're home" She said turning to Vivi with a grin leading you and Vivi to roll your eyes.
As you drop your stuff in the living room, Vivi switched on the tv and sat down whilst Beth showed you around the place. She would lead you to the guest room, A nice room with a window and a cozy looking bed. You dropped your bags into the corner and place your phone on charged as Beth got your suitcase and put it in the room. "Thanks Beth, you didn't have too" you said sitting down on the bed feeling the soft material of the bed cover.
"Are you sure you are okay Y/N?" you hear Beth say in a concerned voice. You were a thrown off by the tone of her voice, You never heard her speak in that tone before as she closed the door behind her. You sighed. "I'm fine"
"F/N" Beth would say as she sat next to you "What happened that night, its clear it has affected you. It would fuck up anyone going through that" you looked down, you would then feel her hand on your shoulder. "I know you have been ignoring their calls and messages" you let out a shaky breath as, Kiera, Lucy and Bright's faces flashed before your eyes. The night replaying in your head as you touched the scar that was healed but visible. You felt Beth pull you towards her and rested her chin on the back of your shoulder as she rubbed your back again. You breathed and began to speak
"Its just been hard Beth, I just freeze. I want to talk to them but at the same time I don't. And every time I think of them I just see it all over..." You felt tears coming through and you voice breaking "all over again. and then." Anger started to build "I just feeling this hatred in me. I start to 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚 them for what they did." Beth would frown sadly, she was thrown off by the tone of your voice "Kiera treating me like that!?, Lucy treating me like some thug and............𝘽𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩" Beth eyes widened at the venom from your voice and also calling Millie by her last name before cupping your face to look at her "Listen to me Y/N. Do not let emotions take over your mind, you are better then that. What happened as happened. You are here with me and Vi, You are safe, All patched up and moving like before. Remember what you always say? Always look on the bright side of life right?" You felt the anger go away replaced with sad emotions as you nodded to Beth as she would embrace you and you would hug back tightly. Unknown to you Vivi was listening and felt her heart break at your confession of anger and what you must be going through. You were never a hateful person, you always were respectful to others and wore your heart on your sleeve. Worry would build in her as she the North West London Derby was tomorrow, you would be going to watch and then stay at Kirby's house. The worry wasn't on that. It was on what happens if you and Bright cross paths at Stamford Bridge that worried the Dutch striker.
The day would turn into a day of banter and laughs as you guys enjoyed a night of eating and watching tv before turning to bed for the night hoping to get as much rest as you could before the long day tomorrow.
*Crowd cheers*
Your ears perked up at the sudden noise, looking away from your phone you looked to the screen to see your face on with a nameplate saying "F/N L/N. Former Chelsea player. FA CUP and WSL winner" You smiled and waved at the camera recording you as the crowd started to chant
"WE LOVE YOU L/N WE DO, WE LOVE YOU L/N WE, WE LOVE YOU L/N WE DO, OOH L/N WE LOVE YOU" your heart swirled with love as you couldn't help but laugh and smile at the Chelsea fans antics. It was a big day, The North London Derby at Stamford Bridge. you played in your fair share and it was always an experience.
"L/N can you sign my kids shirts please, we understand if you don't want too. You looked down below you to see a father with his boy and girl with star struck eyes. You grabbed a pen from you pocket as you were always prepared. "THROW THEM UP" you said and the man smiled and throw the shirts up, you grabbed one and missed one leading to the crowd to cheer "WAAAAAAAAAAY" at your disposal, you played up to the antics shaking your head at them in a mock disapproval fashion. The second you would grab the top to the crowd cheering. You sighed the tops and carefully dropped the shirts to the two kids who made you smile and hoped it could inspire them in some way. The crowd clapping at the noble gesture, you smiled before sitting down.
You missed the energy of the crowd and the interactions you had with them
As the day went on both team would come out and the game would kick off. You were watching and analysing the game, you would watch the plays and tactics being used, every time you saw Bright you would look down and scratch your head. The game was intense as it should be in the North West London Derby. The game would end in a eventful 2-1 win to Chelsea.
You left the box and headed towards where Beth and Vivi was going to meet you so you could get your bags. The excitement of the match and crowed leaving your body slowly as you walked down the familiar hall that you used to walk when you were a Chelsea player. You would turn the corner.
"Oof"
"Oh Sorry about th-"
Bright
You just bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid, you felt your voice caught in your throat. Millie looked you up and down like she just saw a ghost. Your heartbeat began to quicken. You felt her eyes burn onto your scar as she starred at it.
"oh Y/N" Bright said like a mother who found their long lost child as she walked towards. You stood still eyes widen and the world slowed down and you felt her strong arms wrap around you and place a hand on the back of your head. Your chest became tight feeling like you were going to suffocate as sweat drew from your palms and head.
Bright buried her face into your shoulder mumbling sorrys and tear making your shoulder wet but it drowned out as thoughts rapidly invaded your mind
S̸͚̒h̵̡̑ë̷̖́ ̶̢̀į̸̛s̸̺̽ ̷̡̓g̶̩͝o̶̺͠i̵̟̕n̴̦̔g̷̲̋ ̵̫̃t̸̺̒o̸̪͝ ̸̢̎ẖ̶͐ǘ̵͇ŕ̷͙t̷̻̀ ̵̢͗y̷̮̋ǫ̶̚u̴̢
D̸̛̻̰͓̐o̵͖̯̰͒n̴̠͠'̸̠̰̍t̴̻̗́̀͜ ̸͉͒͛ṭ̴̳̉̔͘r̵̮̋͠û̷̥͜s̵̹͍̼̄ţ̵͘ ̴̜̪̐h̶̙̍̍e̴͎̍͊̎r̶͖͑̇͠ ̴̡͔̄͠
S̴̯̄h̷̤̓e̷̝͆ ̶̠̊ȅ̸̻n̸̄͜j̸̼̾o̶͎͋y̷̜͠ṡ̶̥ ̸̹̀y̷͊ͅo̷̬̍u̴͉͂ṟ̴̾ ̷̪͐p̸̙̍a̴͕͊ḯ̸̝ṅ̷͉ ̸͇̔
You squeezed your eyes shut trying to not listen to these stupid thoughts. That's not her, you think as your body temperature send hot flashes over your body as you started to hear a ringing noise
You somehow feel your body shake and feel a pair of arms grab you. It was a blur at first but you felt hands on your cheeks. You heard loud noise as the ringing noises continued but it all drowned out as you heard a voice call to you, You were slowly and gently pushed down into a sitting positioning against a wall.
"F/- I - me" You hear the voice start to get cleary
You open your eyes though blurry at first you find yourself looking into the eyes of Beth. "F/N its me Beth, I'm here" You tried to calm down with Beth but it was still there
"ARE YOU STUPID, YOU THINK THEYYOU WOULD WANT YOU AROUND AFTER WHAT YOU DID" The room still spinning you looked towards the voice and saw Vivi push Bright
"DON'T PUSH ME FOCKING BITCH, I HAVE KNOWN THEM LONGER THEN YOU" Bright pushed the Dutch girl nearly off her feet as Beth had to spring into action and stop the two from fighting.
You couldn't take it
Couldn't breath
Couldn't think
Couldn't speak
Couldn't talk
But you could run
You ran from the scene without the trio noticing, The loud shouts disappearing as you got further and further away as the ringing sound came back and you still felt hot, the hallway looking it turned to its sides and back. The world didn't stop spinning. You ran and ran until you felt nauseous and just collapse to your knees and dry heave.
Back in the hallway, Beth realizing that you had disappeared, called out for you, their worry evident in their her voices.
Beth would go on a short rant at both of them before ending it with
"WE ARE FOR F/N, SO ACT LIKE THIER FRIEND AND STOP BEING LIKE CHILDREN!"
The duo looked down in shame. Not only did the always jokester Beth tear them a new one but they caused you distress and made you run away. The two reconciled before they planned the next move, Beth's phone would ping with a message
There you were on all fours
all alone
crying
struggling to breath
dry heaving
why did this happen, why are you so scared, why did this have to be like this. you thought as the tears formed a small puddle in font of you
You felt someone place a hand on your back and filched until you heard the voice
"Breath in" You breathed in at the voices request "1,2,3,4 and out" You let out the shaky breath and felt the nausea go away "In" You breath in "1,2,3,4,5,6,7 and out" You breath out letting the the weight off your shoulders and spinning stop. You would repeat the circle untill your breathing pattern was normal
"There we go" You sat up on your knees slowly and turn to the voice "Thanks Fran" you gave a little smile to your old roommate. She rubbed your back with a smile "No problem, Don't rush yourself. Take your time" She said carefully as she held you hand as you slowly stood up with her. "Its like old times" You said with a sad laugh, You would feel Fran ruffle your hair "Never change F/N" You hugged her and she returned it.
Fran was always the one who supported you throughout your time in Chelsea and was the one would calm you down if things got hard. She became a older sister to you and had a protective nature over you
"When do i get my hug Youngblood?" You turned to see your old teammate "Come ere kerr" You smiled as you opened your arms to the aussie who gave you a big hug "Missed ya F/N" after a embrace. You felt her move a hair out of your face and she looked at your scar "Looking like a warrior Youngblood" You smiled and shrugged "Guess i can finally handle the wild of Australia" Sam eyed rolled before she placed an arm around your shoulder "Come on Fran lets clean up this annoying brat" You chuckled and wrapped your arm around hers as Fran who was on her phone looked up before putting it away and smiling "Lets" as she joined the you two
Beth received a message from Fran about you and decided to send Vivi to collect your bags and bring them to you and Fran.
Beth couldn't help but look at Bright who was in her own world. She could see the regret and pain in Bright's eyes and the burden she carried from that night. Taking Bright's hand in her own, Beth began, "Millie, I know this hasn't been easy on you. It was a traumatic.....fucked up experience for all involved, but especially for F/N."
Bright nodded, her voice shaky as she began to explain. "I just can't get that image out of my head, Beth. Seeing F/N's bloody face... it haunts me. I never wanted to hurt them like that and I didn't even realize what had happened until it was too late." Beth made Bright look at her
"It was an accident. and we all know that you didn't intend for any of this to happen. F/N knows it too." Bright's eyes showed tears "But you saw how they reacted. I just wanted to say sorry. I tried to be calm but I hadn't seen them since that night and they haven't replied to any of my calls and messages. When I saw them I just lost it and went on auto pilot." She looked away shaking her head "I caused all of this"
Beth nodded in understanding. "It's only natural to feel this way Millie. But you also gave to remember that accidents can happen in this game F/N wouldn't want you to carry this burden. They are a strong person and They know deep down inside knows you didn't mean to hurt them." Beth pit a reassuring hand on Bright's back
Millie let out a sigh, her shoulders slumping as she tried to release some of the weight she had been carrying. "I hope you're right Beth. I just need to find a way to move past this and support F/N by giving them time."
Beth smiled warmly, appreciating Millie's willingness to make this right. "You will, Millie. We all will. F/N is our friend and they needs us right now. Let's give em the time and space to heal, physically and emotionally aye?" You hugged Vivi goodbye as you turned to enter Frans car. You breathed in and out relaxing into the seat as fran blasted the heater on making it all warm and cosy. As you pulled out the parking lot, You looked at the stadium with a smile thinking of the memories, Winning the league, All the goals scored, the times with teammates. Time with Bright. *Beep Beep* You look to Fran's side of the car and look at the car that beeped to see a wild Sam Kerr and Erin waving goodbye in their own car. You and Fran waved before you showed a middle finger only to receive one from the Scotswomen. You missed the antics you guys would have. Fran would drive away from the trio "McDonalds or KFC?" "Hmmm" You pondered, knowing you and Fran gonna have a good night as Sam promised to come stay over at Frans also. "I am gonna pick......." Meanwhile Beth sat in her car waiting for Vivi starring at a contact in her phone. She was in deep thought before the door open to reveal Vivi. She put her phone away and gave her a quick peck waiting for Vivi to get the seatbelt on. As she would drove she couldn't help but wonder if she made the right move just moments ago. Was the message she sent the right move Was it right to warn Lucy and Kiera of how you might react when you meet them back in Barcelona? Part 3 End Well you gotta find out in the next part MWAHAHAHAHAH Honestly I am so surprised on how this series is doing and the amount of reader liking it. I hope this lives up to your expectations. i will try my best for the future parts As always please tell me what you think, what is your fav part of the story, fav person we have met so far, what do you think is gonna happen now that Beth has warned Wonze
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queen-of-reptiles · 8 months
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𝚆𝙸𝙿𝚂
description: all the fics and ficlets I am currently working on will be posted at random - sorry! but if there are any certain ones you would like to see first let me know x
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𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐/𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜
bethany england // 09
lucky - ficlet and social media
description - when the tottenham girls go for a night out and are let in a new bar early, bethany overhears a beautiful voice and quickly becomes obsessed
maz pacheco // 33
mark, set, go! - ficlet and social media
description - maz's 'friend' is the no.1 400m runner in the world, she needs to prove that at the world champs. if she does, maz will hard launch
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𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚝𝚠𝚘𝚜
katie mccabe // 15
swan II - ficlet and social media
description: katie and her dancer girlfriend y/n have taken the world by storm with their launch - but how did they meet?
katie mccabe // 15
cigarettes and stolen breaths II - ficlet
description: katie and y/n learn to navigate their relationship and try to figure out if there is love, or only lust between them
alessia russo // 23
champion II - ficlet and social media
description: during a relaxed competition, y/n pushes on, despite a worrying ache in her thigh, she learns to regret it after and alessia is happy to play nurse
sam kerr // 20
nonsense II - ficlet and social media
description: y/n and sam learn what it is to be in a relationship - no matter how much it scares her.
leah williamson // 06
hooked II - social media and ficlet
description: in which leah and her girlfriend walk the red carpet - stunning everyone at the grammys which in turn stun y/n
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𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 - 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗
mapi leon // 04
sisters (part of the 'hidden' universe - 3 individual parts 6 parts in total)
parts: one, two, three
description: being the lucy bronze's younger sister was great, having you best friend ona play at barcelona is great. one problem, both you and ona are hiding relationships, you with a team member and her with the captain's sister.
ona battle // 22
secrets (part of the 'hidden' universe - 3 individual parts 6 parts in total)
parts: one, two, three
description: ona was finally where she had dreamed, she was back at barcelona with her best friend and loving every moment. only problem? she's dating her captain's younger sister, you.
lucy bronze // 15
my girl - 2 parts
parts: one, two
description: y/n is out of club play with an injury, potentially a big one, luckily england felt they could breathe again once they knew their captain hadn't suffered the three letters - but barcelona did not feel so lucky with an el classico around the corner
georgia stanway // 31
best friends - 3 parts
parts: one, two, three
description: in which leah williamson’s younger sister and georgia stanway are best friends ... right?
lauren james // 10
oh fuck (part of the 'blue' series - 4 parts)
parts: one, two, three, four
description: lauren is fine, she is completely fine. she is definitely not dating sam kerr's younger sister. and sam kerr definitely hasn't just walked into y/n's flat with her spare key. lauren is completely fine
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kerrslvr · 6 months
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NSFW ALPHABET MASTERLIST
... you know i had to do it
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beth england nsfw alphabet
sam kerr nsfw alphabet
lauren james nsfw alphabet
teagan micah nsfw alphabet
mary earps nsfw alphabet
lucy bronze nsfw alphabet
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