#lucky bugs got that for free

[ladygrace37]

My boyfriend left the door to our apartment open so EVERYONE in my complex heard me reading my Baldur's Gate 3 fanfiction ALOUD. I poured my heart & soul into my voice performance too.

We have to move. 💀

[inkskinned]

it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)

i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.

i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.

i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.

in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.

i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.

i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.

my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.

i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.

i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.

it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.

almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.

i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.

i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.

write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.

[thepigeonhasapen]

Finding Them When They're Trapped: Olympian Edition (NSFWish)

(I promise I'm working on requests but the horny bug bit ok)

🩷Aphrodite🩷

"Oh, darling, I'm afraid something simply tragic has happened. One of my suitors has taken advantage of me and left me like this!"

"...In your own bedchamber?"

Aphrodite waves a hand. As well as she's able to with the short chain connecting it to the bedpost anyway. "Sweetheart, it's sex. We don't need to apply logic to it."

"...I see." You sit next to Aphrodite, admiring the way the restraints draw her body into long, smooth curves. She wriggles in her chains, a deliberate enticement. An enticement too is the way she's looking at you, lashes fluttering and eyes locked sweetly upon your own.

"As I was saying..."

"Yes, yes, a horrible man left you tied to a bed and now I'm here to take advantage of that fact?"

"You do catch on quick, my dear."

⚔️Ares⚔️

Ares does not think this is funny. Unfortunately for Ares it is objectively pretty funny.

He glares at you from the bed, squirming against his chains. "Stop laughing and let me loose."

"I can't believe Aphrodite just left you like this!" You giggle. "I'm pretty sure she just straight up forgot you were here actually."

You can tell Ares is positively fuming about the whole thing. The headboard creaks as he yanks at the cuffs, but all the furniture upon Olympus is far too durable to break that easily. He glares at you once more and then sighs.

"Will you please set me free? I have something I wish to discuss with our dear Aphrodite."

Aphrodite has been so kind as to leave your favorite god naked, and you take advantage of this by resting your hand on his groin. You don't miss the sharp intake of breath when your skin touches his own.

"But it would be such a shame to let you go when I already have you here like this."

"I... be that as it may, I-" Ares's pupils blow wide with lust as you swing onto the bed to straddle his lap.

"Aphrodite isn't going anywhere. And-" You laugh. "Neither are you apparently."

"I suppose... my evening might still be salvageable after all."

🏹Artemis🏹

How embarrassing... to get caught in one of her own traps. Artemis is never going to live this down if anyone finds out about it. Too late for her, though, you've already found out about it.

"It's not funny! I just forgot where I set it, okay? Now let me down so we can both forget this ever happened."

Perhaps Artemis might be more intimidating if she wasn't blushing so fiercely. Oh yeah, and hanging upside-down by her ankle from a tree branch. That too.

"So if you're the prey, what's hunting you then? A deer? A bunny?"

You didn't think it was possible but Artemis blushes even harder. "Yeah, yeah, just get me down."

"Deal... but in exchange for not telling anyone about this, you'll owe me."

If looks could kill, not only would you be dead, you'd have been vaporized from existence. You start to walk away. "Or I guess you could just wait for somebody else to come by... Hermes, maybe?"

It doesn't take long for Artemis to break. "Okay, okay, deal! Now cut me loose before somebody sees."

As you're helping her down, Artemis shoots you another dirty look. "You’re just lucky I've got a soft spot for you."

🦉Athena🦉

One of the last places you expect to find Athena is stuck in a hole in the ground, but here you are. She looks up at you, visibly relieved to catch sight of you.

"Hail, Y/N. It would seem the Lady Artemis is leaving her pit traps strewn about the grounds. Again. I really must have a word with her about it. But first I require your assistance."

"Oh yeah? I hope you're not expecting me to carry you out of that hole." Look, Athena's like twice your size. You love her but it's just not gonna happen.

"No, nothing of the sort. If you could run to Hephaestus's workshop and fetch a ladder..."

You sit down at the edge of the hole, elbows resting on your knees. "I might do that. But to be honest, it's kinda hot seeing you be bested every once in a while."

"I was not bested. This was no battle of wills. This was my foolish half-sister being careless once again."

"Still... you being trapped is kinda doing it for me."

Athena sighs. "If you fetch me a ladder, I swear I will let you tie me up to your heart's content. Do we have an arrangement?"

"Done."

And you can't wait to take her up on that.

❄️Demeter❄️

"I'm going to kill that wretched foster brother of mine. We'll see if he can still throw his precious lightning bolts when he's encased in ice."

You've stumbled across Demeter cuffed to the railing of her balcony. You don't quite know what happened, but Zeus had something to do with it from the sounds of it.

"He told me I ought to get more sun! That it would be good for me! Put a smile on my face! Pah, as if there's anything to smile about upon this blasted mountain."

"Ahem," you say.

Demeter softens. "Ah... my apologies. Of course you give me cause to smile quite often."

"Would it make you smile if you said you looked cute in those cuffs?"

Demeter doesn't look in the slightest bit amused. "It most decidedly would not."

"Ah."

🍇Dionysus🍇

Dionysus had asked you to meet you in his vineyard but how strange, he doesn't seem to be here. Well, since you're here, you may as well look around. As you wander deeper through the plants, you hear rustling and the sounds of someone struggling.

He looks almost sheepish when you find him, half-buried in foliage with rogue vines twined around his limbs.

"Hey, so uh... there may have been a little... incident. Would you mind maybe lending a hand?"

"Don’t you have control over grapevines?"

"...These are special grapevines, yeah?"

And how kind of the vines to splay him out so beautifully. And to let him take off his cape first. And that all of his usual retinue is conveniently absent.

Dionysus shivers when you run a hand down his muscled chest. "And how exactly am I meant to help you if even a god as powerful as you can't set yourself free?" You stop just above where you're certain he wants you to touch him. "Shall I fetch someone to help?"

Dionysus whines when you remove your hand. "You’re such a damn tease, man! Just have your way with me already."

"I'm a tease? I'm not the one who's tied myself up in hopes of being ravaged."

"If you want we can switch places." Dionysus offers playfully.

"Hmm. Maybe later." You think you're gonna pass this up? Not a chance.

🪽Hermes🪽

You didn't expect to find the Messenger of the Gods tangled in a bunch of vines, but to be perfectly fair you're pretty sure he didn't intend for you to find him like that either.

"Oh, hi there, boss. I seem to have encountered a spot of trouble here but don't you worry, I'll be out in a jiffy."

He squirms, trying to free himself, but he's really just making the problem worse. Something he soon figures out when he sighs and looks helplessly at you.

"Don’t suppose you'd care to lend a hand?"

"Haha, oh alright," you manage through your giggles. "Hold on just a moment."

"Kinda can't do anything else," he points out.

You wade into the bushes, reaching for the vines that ensnare his wrist. Unfortunately, there's a bit more of them than you bargained for. One catches on your foot and you go tumbling forward, knocking both you and Hermes to the ground.

"Shit, sorry!"

But Hermes doesn't look as bothered as you thought he would. It's probably because your hand has landed squarely on his groin. You hadn't quite been sure if he was blushing before, but now he most certainly is.

He's not quite looking at you as he says, "You know it would really be a shame for you to let an opportunity like this go to waste, you know."

...He makes a valid point.

🔱Poseidon🔱

"Damn that blasted nephew of mine! I swear when I catch him, I'll- oh hello, dear! Would you mind helping your favorite sea god out of the predicament he's found himself in?"

You laugh. You can't help it; Poseidon looks absolutely ridiculous looking at you upside-down from the floor. Somehow he's ended up wrapped head to toe in chains, his arms pinned behind his back and his legs bound firmly together.

"What happened here?"

"That good for nothing nephew of mine, Hephaestus swore to me that he'd created chains so powerful that nothing could break them! I, of course, had to put such notions to rest. Nothing can overpower the might of the sea! Anyway, I uh..."

"So you let Hephaestus do this to you?"

You've never seen Poseidon look quite so flustered. "I, er... well, we don't need to linger on the past. Why don't you set me free and we can both go out to a nice dinner?"

"Not a chance, sea god." You drop to the floor beside him, greedily taking advantage of a sight you so rarely get to see. The might of Poseidon, bound. And looking quite handsome in his chains if you do say so yourself. "I think I've got a better idea than dinner."

It doesn't take Poseidon but a moment to catch your drift. "Ha! You best take advantage of the moment then because I don't imagine it'll be happening again."

Maybe. Or maybe Hephaestus will let you borrow these chains from time to time...

⚡️Zeus⚡️

It's funny... this situation that you've found Zeus in almost seems... familiar.

"Curses! Damnit... that blasted, darn Hephaestus... and my foul brother. I shall have both their heads for this, I swear..."

"Whatcha doin'?"

You've never seen the King of the Gods blush before. And certainly not so fiercely. "I um... well, I've run into a spot of bother. And it is entirely the fault of that wretched brother of mine. He insisted that these chains were unbreakable. Naturally, I had to show him the error of his ways. None can stand against the power of the heavens!"

Well, apparently being a cocky, arrogant idiot runs in the family. You drop to a crouch beside him, unable to keep the amused grin off your face. "And how's that working out for you?"

"Yes, yes," he huffs, "I can have a sense of humor like any other. You've all had your laugh. Now let me loose."

You reach down and squeeze between his legs, just enough that Zeus's eyes start to go hazy. He won't get mad at you for the imposition; he thinks far too much with his cock for that. "Oh, but I never get to top."

Zeus looks as if he's already having trouble formulating words. "Well... maybe just this once..."

Once? Not if you can help it.

[januaryembrs]

tea!! anything bugsy and spencer

the one with the surfboard | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader

description: there's only one person who could ever get Spencer Reid in the ocean and that's Bugsy

length: 1.6k

warnings: mention of sex, swearing, Penelope and Reid being thirsty for Morgan and bugsy. Pen calls Derek chocolate thunder but this is nothing new! set at beginning of season six.

part of the trouble almost all my life universe

Spencer settled his feet into the warm sand, trying his hardest to make sure the grain didn’t stick to the thick layer of suncream he’d applied not even five minute earlier, his sunglasses hanging on his nose as he watched Morgan and Bugsy hit a ball to one another over an invisible volleyball net. 

“You not going to take a swim, pretty boy?” Emily asked, basking on her back in a red bikini, soaking up the sun they rarely got so clearly stuck in their office. His face scrunched up, shaking his head until he remembered Emily had her eyes closed, and it only took one look at where JJ was laying incredibly still to know she’d already dozed off on the sun lounger. 

“One litre of ocean water has about one billion microbes of bacteria and around ten billion viruses, so,” He shuddered, his lithe fingers gripping the arms of the chair as he tried not to think about every single one of them entering his mouth if he were to even get close enough it could spray on his face, “No thankyou,” 

“Not even if Bugsy asked you?” Penelope pointed out, a sex on the beach she’d ordered with a giggle and a ‘if Morgan gets lucky.’

His lips twitched, feeling his neck grow hot in a way he told himself was just the sun, and he glanced at the technical analyst with something fleeting, “She did ask me, I told her the exact same thing I’m telling you guys,”

“And?” Emily asked, sensing that hadn’t been the end of the conversation because her sister knew exactly how to get her way when it came to men, Spencer specifically. 

Rubbing under his nose with his knuckle, Spencer downcast his eyes to the beer Bug had handed him, sand sticking to the green, frosted glass as the liquid bubbled freshly inside the bottle, “She said I owed her an hour of fun,”

Penelope’s face lit up at the innuendo of it, nudging him lightly with her shoulder, “Hell yeah, you’re such a stud, Reid. An hour?” 

Emily winced in grotesque, “That’s my sister you’re talking about there, Pen. A sister is very much present here,” 

The blonde shrugged, sipping through her pineapple decorated straw, “Not my fault you have a hot sister, Prentiss,” 

“Can we stop talking about this? Please?” Spencer floundered, his fingers wrapping over the edge of the seat, his jaw tensing as the words hot, hot, hot, smeared all over his brain like a stamp. And everything he’d tried to deny for months bit at his neck so much so he was quickly fiddling with his shirt collar. 

“Agreed,” Emily seconded, taking a long drink of her mojito, and Penelope saw it as a chance to lean in close to him, a smirk on her clementine scented lips.

“Don’t you think watching the two of them play together is like something out of Baywatch,” She murmured, her eyes locking on the two agents that seemed to be on their longest streak yet judging by all the laughing and shouting going on in between hits. 

Spencer had never tuned into Baywatch, nor did he have any intention of doing so. But he did have to admit that watching Bugsy jump around in the ocean, her hair clasped back in a claw clip away from her face, her skin practically glowing from the vitamin D both on her face and on her obscenely beautiful body that was free to see in those bikini shorts and mini top, was more captivating than any tv show he could imagine.

He swallowed, shaking his head, “I think you spend too much time with Derek,”

Penelope held her chest in mock offence, her glass empty in her hand as she looked at him with teasing eyes, “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that, Reid. There’s no such thing as too much chocolate thunder time.” 

Spencer smirked, chuckling to himself and he barely even noticed the two people that were the hot topic of conversation had left the sea until a plastic, bouncy ball went hurtling at Emily’s forehead and rebounded clear off her hairline. 

“FUCK,” The woman cursed, opening her eyes where a few rogue droplets of sea water dribbled down her cheek, her peace and serenity completely wiped away where her little sister stood with a hidden smirk, Derek biting his knuckle to hide his laugh, “You fucker, what was that for?”

“Just making sure you hadn’t cooked alive, you looked very still,” Bugsy held her hands up in innocence, even though Emily stood with a vengeance, rolling her eyes at the cheeky grin she got back. 

Emily muttered something about her being a childish shrew, before she huffed, shoving past her sister and heading towards the beachfront bar, Derek and Penelope in tow. Which left the two of them, and a sleeping JJ, on their tiny corner of the beach. 

“You sure you don’t want to come in?” Bugsy asked, trails of salt water sliding off her hair and down her stomach, the sight of them making Spencer’s mouth dryer than the sand beneath them, “I saw a jellyfish, or at least I think it was, it may have been a condom,” Spencer gagged inside his mouth with an incredulous look on his face, and she chuckled, dropping the ball to his feet, “Relax, I’m kidding. I’m going back in if you want to join, promise I won’t splash you or nothing,” 

“I’m good, you go have fun with your new pal; the condom,” He said with a grossed out pull of his lips, though he smiled when she did and she grabbed the surfboard stuck in the ground beside him, trotting off back towards the ocean, “Remember to reapply soon!” He called, and she flicked a look over her shoulder.

“You're as bad as Emily,” She yelled back, taking off towards the waves with a chuckle, the sea breeze blowing tiny shrapnels of sand against her calves.

Spencer shamefully felt his eyes drop to her butt, and as fast as he did, he looked away, because that was supposed to be his best friend. She’d certainly never made it seem like they were going to be anything else. Perverts watched pretty girls running, perverts watched how their skin lit up with the rays of lights bouncing off the water and their hips swung with every step, and he wasn’t a pervert. 

He was just… human. And who could ever resist her. 

He watched the sea spraying out beneath her feet as she ran right in, and she waded out deep enough that he lost sight of her stomach, the board skirting the surface of the water for a moment. 

She was possibly the coolest person he’d ever met, and she was his best friend. 

He watched her hop up onto her stomach, keeping an eye on the horizon for a big enough wave rolling in. Deciding on an incoming ripple gradually gaining traction, she paddled out towards it, her arms strong and focused from what he could see where he was sat, nursing his bottle of beer. 

“Baby Prentiss got moves,” Morgan whistled as they returned back with drinks cold enough Spencer saw the condensation gathering on the glass already, though that was the only time he actually tore his eyes away from her as she got further away from the safety of land, the black band attaching her ankle to the board the only thing he could really see of her. 

“She talked some bar boy into teaching her the Summer she spent in Mexico with my mom,” Emily shook her head as they watched her jump up into a steady stand, the rip gathering under her surfboard and soon she was floating over the water, the concentration evident on her face as she held her arms out to balance. 

She went a few more times, the group settling into the quiet they had whenever she was busy, because she was not exactly known for her calm nature, yet Spencer’s eyes were the only ones glued to her figure the entire time, ever the worrier when it came to her daredevil side. 

And it was like he was watching it in slow motion; on her fifth turn riding a particularly quick rip her balance got thrown off. Nothing serious, it was only a few ten yards out offshore, and she was a strong swimmer, he’d seen it. She quickly lowered herself back into a straddled sit, only for the wave to gain traction before it fizzled out, crashing into the side of her board right as she was about to take a breath, and he watched her flip sidewards into the water, the tide bringing her close enough he knew she’d be able to stand.

But she didn’t come up for a few moments, and it was enough that Spencer was out of his seat, taking off jogging towards the ocean, every statistic that had been whizzing through that big brain of his about how filthy the water was suddenly evaporating as he watched her throw a hand up to the surface, her board skirting above her being the only pointer for him where to go. 

By the time he made it over to her, he was knee deep before he thought of the consequences, the cold hitting him like a freight train, and she was already dragging herself towards land on her hands and knees, her hair stuck to her face, her claw clip ripped out by the current.

“Are you okay?” He asked, but she didn’t respond, only to cough up sea water with a screwed up expression that told him just how horrible it tasted. 

“I need a beer,” She wheezed, as he lifted his hands under her arms, tugging her to her feet, his entire torso getting drenched as she clung onto him for safety, still spluttering ocean out of her lungs. 

And he shook his head with a smile, brushing her hair back enough for her to see, her eyes sore and red with angry blood vessels where he imagined it stung to get the salty water in them, and all but dragged her back up the rest of the beach where Derek and Emily were laughing at her fail so hard they’d woken JJ up. 

“Yasmine Bleeth never ate seawater, Bug, what happened?” Morgan jeered, earning him a middle finger to the face as Penelope offered her a nice big gulp of a margarita to clear her taste buds. 

And for the first time all day, Spencer wasn’t even thinking about how much bacteria was all over his skin if it meant she was alright.

[solxamber]

Hii Sol! Cam I ask for Scarabia, comedy #6??? Thanks for the event ^^

Bugging Out || Jamil Viper

For the Holiday Event! || Prompt: "Say that again" ; Genre: Comedy

Jamil’s eye twitches as he points to the wall. “Can you deal with that?”

You follow his gaze to a tiny insect perched on the wall, minding its own business. It’s harmless, really—probably some wandering bug that got lost in the labyrinth of Scarabia.

“Deal with it?” you ask, a mischievous grin forming. “It’s kind of cute.”

Jamil freezes mid-motion, his fingers tightening around the dishcloth he was holding. He turns to you slowly, his expression a mix of disbelief and barely suppressed rage.

“Say that again.”

“It’s cute!” you repeat with exaggerated enthusiasm, clasping your hands together as if the bug were a newborn puppy.

Jamil looks like he’s seriously debating whether or not to throw the dishcloth at you. “Are you out of your mind? It’s a bug.”

“A cute bug,” you correct, tilting your head as you inspect the little creature.

Jamil pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering under his breath. “Out of all the people I could’ve asked…”

Not wanting to miss the chance to further mess with him, you walk over, cup your hands around the insect, and gently pick it up. “Look at it! It’s harmless. Maybe it’s lost and scared.”

“I’m about to be lost and scared if you don’t get rid of it,” he mutters, edging away.

With a triumphant smile, you stride to the window, open it, and set the insect free. “There you go, little guy. Live your best life!”

You close the window and turn to find Jamil staring at you like you’ve grown a second head.

“You’re unbelievable,” he says, shaking his head. “You could’ve just squashed it and saved us both the trouble.”

“But then I wouldn’t get to bug you,” you say with a teasing grin, wrapping your arms around him before he can protest.

Jamil stiffens for a moment, grumbling under his breath. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, here we are,” you say, giggling as you bury your face into his shoulder.

He sighs but doesn’t let you pull away. Instead, his arms loosely drape around you, a faint flush dusting his cheeks. “You’re lucky I have patience.”

You pull back slightly to look up at him, your grin widening. “Aww, you mean you’re not mad at me?”

His deadpan stare answers your question. “Oh, I’m mad.”

You burst into laughter, and though Jamil tries to keep his annoyed expression, the corners of his lips twitch upward.

“Next time, just kill the bug,” he says, but there’s no heat in his words.

“Next time, I’ll keep it as a pet,” you reply cheerily.

Jamil groans, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m going to regret ever talking to you, aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” you say, beaming.

Despite his complaints, he doesn’t let go, and you bask in the victory of being a knight in shining armor.

Masterlist

[the-kr8tor]

Hi! I've just got back to ATSV and your Hobie fics made me felt like a school girl giggling to myself 😭🤍

I don't know if you still open for request but you may ignore if you feel uncomfortable!

I was thinking about long distance relationship with Hobie, maybe they met in some dating app ( I know this felt weird but like imagine him being bored and randomly download it for fun but then met the love of his life lol )

And one day Reader decided to surprise him on one of his concert 👀

Aww you're so sweet! Thank you so much! I hope you like this, sorry for the wait ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, cw blood, band au, FLUFF

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

When your long distance partner said that he's in a band, you never expected that he's in one of those bands that plays in sold out venues. Granted that the concert also has other bands playing on the same day in different schedules, nonetheless his band is the one that's headlining the entire charity event. The venue is open air, trees lined around the park with dozens of booths selling merch, and overpriced burritos. At least the free water makes up for the expensive food and the long lines to the port-a-potty.

People are all dressed up for the event walk past you, they're in a complete ensemble, spikes, knee high boots, fishnets and hair that is taller than the luggage you're lugging around. It's safe to say that you stick out like a sore thumb in your comfortable airport clothes. If not then all the stares you're getting is because you have a huge bug on your face or something on your teeth. Maybe you should've gone with your original plan of waiting outside his houseboat like a creep.

You exhale, gathering your courage just like back when you were buying the plane ticket to Camdem. Clutching your bag tightly, you head off to the baggage lockers on the side to drop off your weekend bag before showing your concert ticket to the tired employee.

With a few flight delays on your belt, you were afraid that you'd miss his set. But lo and behold, the second you stepped foot inside, the loud booming speakers are announcing his band. You make your mad dash towards the front of the stage, excitement and trepidation fueling you while you practically squeeze yourself in between the growing crowd. After a few apologies to some people you've accidentally elbowed, you finally make it at the front with only a few bruises here and there. You don't care about the aches the second you see him appear from backstage.

Hobie, your long distance partner of two years and a half is finally in front of you. Well a few feet away from you as there's a bannister and a huge security guy guarding the fences. And yet, you haven't been this close to holding him. Signing up for a dating site wasn't your greatest moment but you're glad you did, if you hadn't, you might've not met the love of your life. You're also glad that his friends dared him into signing up, you feel incredibly lucky that the stars aligned for the two of you to meet.

His band waves to the crowd, faces you've come accustomed to whenever he brings you (his phone while you video call him) to band practices and hangouts throughout the years. Dare you say that they've become your friends too, if not for them encouraging you to finally buy that ticket to surprise Hobie, you wouldn't be standing here with your hands gripping tightly on the railings.

He looks amazing under the bright lights, the spotlight highlights all his best features. Clad in leather, spikes and metal, seeing him behind your phone screen doesn't prepare you for the real thing.

With stars in your eyes, you grin widely. Yet you don't call for him so you don't distract him. Instead, you listen to the first song as Hobie plays a familiar guitar riff. You unabashedly ogle him while you listen to the song you've personally seen the development of.

Sweaty, eyes strained to see him through the spotlight while your ears ring— you probably don't look your best while the crowd pushes the fences wildly. Maybe you should've thought this through, or at least wore something nicer.

Hobie still hasn't seen you amidst the crowd. Continuing to jump and somersault effortlessly around the stage while fans scream and screech his name out. You once again stick out like a sore thumb while you stay in place when everyone else is jumping up and down to the beat. Seeing the lone anomaly, Hobie shields his eyes from the lights to get a good look at the supposed disgruntled fan. He never expected to see your face, his heart feels like it stopped for a second, he tumbles towards a wire that trips him and in turn launches him towards a small amp that also trips him and makes him land flat on his face. If not for his quick reflexes, he might've broken his nose on stage.

The crowd makes an empathetic sound as silence spreads throughout the venue. Some reach out to him as if they would've caught him mid air, and you're one of those people. With a wince, you watch him sit up, trying his best to act cool while he's tangled around numerous wires. He looks silly and lovestruck at the same time when his eyes meet your own. Your name falls off his lips, eyes sparkling under the red spotlights.

You give him a small wave, smiling bashfully at the punk on stage. A stage hand helps him untangle himself while Ned helps back up on his feet. All the while, his eyes never left your form.

“Wanna take five, loverboy?” Ned whispers, patting his best mate on the back. “Fuckin' hell you're bleeding.” The crowd cheers as blood ebbs out.

Even with crimson flowing out of his nostril, pain ebbing through his face, he still manages to grin back at you. “Yeah, make that ten, Ned.” he clasps his hand on Ned's shoulder without leaving his eyes on you. You wink at him. “Better yet, make that twenty.”

Ned rolls his eyes, calling for the medics before gesturing towards you to come around backstage.

—

An organizer gives you a backstage pass, letting you roam around the performers area freely. You play with the lace as your nerves get the best of you. You kinda feel bad for being the cause of the delay, but when your darting eyes see his familiar silhouette, it all melts away.

“Can I get an autograph?” You say, standing under the medical tent while a paramedic tends to his bleeding nose. His head whips towards you so fast, you were afraid that he'd break his neck. “Hi, Hobie.”

A giddy grin spreads on his face, standing up from the plastic chair with tissue paper stuck up his nose. “Hello, love.”

You giggle, crossing the small distance, hands reaching to his sides, waiting for him to hold you. Hobie wraps his fingers gently around your wrists, pulling you close. Toe to toe, he guides your hands on his waist.

“You're taller than I expected.” You utter with fondness, fingers splayed over his shirt, eyes etching his face into the folds of your mind.

“You have legs, and feet attached to your legs.” He says nervously, biting his lip from grinning too widely. “You're as fit as I thought you would be.” Chortling, you pat his chest. Realizing that the tissue papers are still stuck up his nose, he yanks them away quickly, hiding it inside his back pocket as if nothing happened. “You surprised me.”

“That was very dignified of you, Hobs.”

Chuckling, he does what he always wanted to do; hide his face in the crook of your neck. “Was that a deal breaker?”

You scoff playfully, leaning into his touch as he embraces you fully, shyness melting off the both of you only to be replaced with affection. You do the same, face tucked on his neck. He smells like the perfume you sent him when he asked what perfume you always use. And in turn, you smell like his cologne he gifted you a week later.

“Nope, it actually made me more attracted to you.” You feel his knuckles trace circles around your back, nose pressed on your skin. “Sorry that I surprised you, and made you fall on your face in front of thousands of people.”

Hobie gives you a chaste kiss on your jaw before leaning away to cup your face. You feel like you're on cloud nine as he looks at you like you're everything to him.

“Nah, not even close to a thousand, lovie.” His thumb brushes along your cheeks, savoring your warmth like he always wanted to do. You smile, palms on his jacket lapels. “Y’know what's funny?”

“You landing flat on your face in front of hundreds of adoring fans?”

He pokes your side with a chuckle. “I'll never hear the end of that, huh?” You shake your head with a soft smile as he leans closer, you meet him halfway by pulling him by his jacket. “I bought a ticket to your place.” Your eyes widen, tearing up from his words. “I was supposed to fly after the concert and wait outside your flat like a bloody stalker.” Smiling, he closes the distance. “You beat me to it, love.”

“I won.” You kiss him just like how you imagined.

[unholyhelbig]

new oversight will be everything! i can’t wait!

Title: Work Life Balance [an Oversight Oneshot]

Ship: Female!Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: When reader gets hurt during a job, she starts to worry about how her girlfriend, the infamous mafia boss that controls the city, will react

[a/n: while this isn't a new chapter of Oversight (I am working on that), it is set in the same universe as the Oversight. It's based off of a Private Practice episode, and something a little lighter & silly. Enjoy!]

Warnings: Gun violence, blood, spit, threats, blood, hurt/comfort, No spell checks

Check out the full Oversight universe

[ Part one | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven ]

Main Masterlist | Read my stuff on AO3 | Leave Requests

The metal bat had slammed against the side of your face with enough force to blind you momentarily in the right eye. It knocked the sense out of you too and your bearings were scrambled until that darkness started to ebb away into a blurry image of the alleyway.

There was a pungent scent in the air, rotted food in dark green trash bags that had been torn by tiny teeth, or elongated claws. Crumpled napkins and discarded soda cups littered the damp ground.

Before the man could swing the bat for a second time, you caught it half an inch from your face and shoved it away. He was disarmed and you were able to shove his back up against the wall, holding him there despite his squirming. His lip was split, the blood drying quickly from the bright red to a deep black.

“Come on, man.” You twisted your hand into the fabric of his shirt, bunching your fingers around his collar. “We fronted the product, so you have to front the cash.”

“Fuck off,”

He spit on you, a gummy mix of tobacco and sugar. There were a lot of things you could handle; the ringing in your ear, and the pain in your knuckles from the first four blows you threw. But spit was where you drew the line. It had bugged you since you were in fifth grade and Amy Sheldon dangled a long string of it inches from your nose before slurping it back up through the slit in her buck teeth.

“Alright,” you breathed out, making sure you kicked the fallen bat out of his reach. “You agree to push product on that little street racer of yours in exchange for twenty five percent of the cut. You get sloppy and sample the product and don’t have the cash to give to my boss?”

You lifted him from the brick and shoved him back down onto it with enough force to push the putrid breath from his lungs. “That doesn’t feel very fair, now, does it?”

He smiled at you with a laugh that rivaled a cackle. His teeth were orange with diluted blood. There was no getting through to him. Your free hand dipped into the side of your jacket. Over the last two years, you’d grown well accustomed to the feeling of a gun in your hand.

You pushed the tip of the gun under his chin into the soft spot of his skin. He stopped laughing, the sound getting stuck in his throat with a choking sound.

“Do you know what they call me?” You gritted.

“A raging bitch?”

You made a buzzing noise in the back of your throat, much like the signaling of a wrong answer on a game show. There was a soft click as you pulled the trigger of the gun. The man in your grasp tensed and hissed.

“Wrong. You know, at first, I just forgot to load my gun. Got me into some pretty hot water, scalding actually. But eventually it became a bit of a calling card. Roulette. I can pull the trigger as many times as I want, but only one will hit it’s mark.”

He swallowed hard, you felt it in the side of your hand. He was sweating and you were growing tired of the empty threats. Yelena wouldn’t approve of something like this, and you were sure Natasha wouldn’t have had a second thought about putting a mark between his eyebrows.

“Most men aren’t lucky more than twice,” You pulled the trigger again, met with another soft click. Of course, there were no bullets in the chamber; they rattled in your front pocket like your keys. “Three times at most.”

His voice cracked. “Please,”

There was a sharp scent in the air that rivaled that of trash. You were losing blood fast. It had streaked down the side of your face from a gash on your temple and crusted the collar of your shirt.

“You have a week to make up the difference. A week and I’ll be back with a gun that has more than one bullet in the chamber. Am I clear?”

“Yes, but-“

“Am I clear?”

He nodded aggressively and you sheathed your weapon, releasing him. His legs gave out and he sunk to the damp pavement. You picked up the weighted metal back, entirely content to take it with you. It would make your next encounter a hell of a lot easier.

It was impossible to sneak into the house without giving yourself away. Even if you were to park down the block, unlace your shoes and pad into the foyer barefoot, and leave the front door open a crack, you were at risk of creating a scene.

That didn’t mean that you couldn’t keep the injured side of your face away from Natasha for as long as possible. She would know that something was up, and despite her throwing you into this life in the first place, her heart broke when you were on the deep side of any injury.

You set the metal bat down with a bucket of black umbrellas and a bench that was mostly unused. There was a dull metal thump that aggravated the headache that was coming on. You attempted to sneak up the stairs, but the second your fingertips hit the mahogany handrail you were stopped by an irritated voice with a Russian lilt to it.

Yelena was sprawled out on the sofa, a book was face down on her chest, lifting and falling with each breath. She’d given up on it in favor of the warmth that Kate provided her. Kate’s head was on Yelena’s shoulder, her arms wrapped around her midsection. Yelena looked perfectly comfortable in between Kate’s legs, both of them were about ready to doze off and if you had waited an extra five minutes, maybe you would have gotten away with sneaking in.

“Did you get hit by a bus?” Kate asked.

You leaned against the entryway of the sitting room. “Ricky got a good hit in with a metal bat.”

“Oo, Natasha is going to be mad at you.” Yelena chuckled, taunting you like a child. You would have thrown a pillow at her if Kate wasn’t in the line of fire.

She was going to be mad at you for not using the buddy system that was proposed and certainly for not dodging the hit that was coming your way. Natasha hated when you got hurt and that sad look in her eyes was worse than whatever pain could be inflicted on you.

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”

“It looks pretty bad.” Kate said.

You shot them both the middle finger before turning away and padding up the stairs towards your shared bedroom with Natasha. Most days, she was holed up in her office and you didn’t bother her until the ache for her touch, for her presence, bothered you both enough to cave.

That was most days.

Some days, Natasha could be found in your room in sweatpants with a laptop propped up on her crossed legs. She was dwarfed in the silk bedspread, her hair in a messy bun and a pair of glasses on the bridge of her nose.

This was quite possibly your favorite look on Natasha, this quiet version of her. She’d let you hold her in this state instead of the other way around. You hated to break the mood, hated that she glanced up from her laptop not once, but twice.

Wordlessly, Natasha set her work aside and walked over to you. She cupped your face, her fingers cold against your cheeks. Her voice was soft and when she was angry enough, there was the slightest bit of a Russian inflection to her words. “What happened?”

“I… didn’t use the buddy system.”

“Mm, you didn’t use the buddy system.”

Her thumb moved against the black and blue wound against your eye. She pressed every so slightly, testing its durability. You winced, drawing in a breath through clenched teeth. It wasn’t bad, really, her touch soothed you just as quickly as it had bitten you with pain.

Natasha was good at taking care of you and she pulled you into the large master bathroom that the two of you shared. There was an abundance of white and beige. It was always a few degrees cooler than the rest of the house and offered a form of comfort as such.

There were nights where the two of you would simply brush your teeth shoulder to shoulder, and there were nights where she had her arms wrapped around you amongst the deep scent of lavender. Bubble hit her touch as her fingers roamed over the most intimate parts of you.

Now, she guided you to the edge of the sink and lifted you up in a fluid motion. She stood between your legs, making you feel even more like a child when Yelena had scolded you downstairs. Still, there was a degree of affection in her movements. Natasha frowned as she pulled a med kit from the bottom of the sink.

She tutted “Zaychik, this looks bad.”

“Image wise or the actual wound because-“You let out a small noise when she placed the frigid and stinging antiseptic against your face. It sent electric down your spine. “I didn’t know he had a bat.”

“A bat?”

“Right out of left field.”

Natasha’s frown deepened. This was supposed to be an easy job, and by all means, it was. You had accomplished your assignment of scaring up. You were sure he had released his bladder as he slid down the wall into a fetal position. Getting the money from a frightened man was going to be no problem.

Tonight was intended to be calm. You’d come home and shower and eat pizza and spend the entire night curled up in Natasha’s arms while she typed away on the computer. You’d listen to her breathing, her heartbeat.

Instead, she was roughly patching you up, buzzing with anger under her stare. “Why didn’t you take Clint?”

“Nat, I have a fantastic idea.”

“If it involves gutting that man alive and hanging him from a flagpole, then I am all in, darling.” Her words were light, distracted, as she wiped away a good portion of dried blood.

“What if we left things at the office, metaphorically speaking. What if we didn’t bring stuff like this home? Shut it all off.”  

She pulled back far enough to stifle her floral scent. There was an adorable crease between her eyes. “My mind doesn’t work like that, Malysh. This home is my office and vice versa. Someone hurt you and that is my business. That is my work.”

“I know,” you said, tucking a strand of fallen hair behind her ear. She glowered under her thick-framed glasses. You wanted nothing more than to kiss the frown off her face. “I know, but sometimes I just want to be with you.”

“Huh,”

“Huh?”

“Huh.”

This wasn’t exactly a constructive conversation. You figured as much when she ripped a bandage out of its waxy packaging and slapped it onto the gash against your temple. You let out a disgruntled noise and she grasped your waist and maneuvered you back to the floor. Your legs had fallen asleep and you were a little unsteady.

Natasha flicked on the sink and started scrubbing her hands of your blood. “No sex,”

“What?” You blinked at her, scratching fruitlessly at the adhesive on the bandage. It was incredibly itchy.

Natasha dried her hands on the nearby towel, “You heard me, no sex.”

“You… You’re withholding sexual pleasure because of something that happened at work?”

“Not something that happened at work, your refusal to talk about it.”

“Natasha,” You nearly whined.

“No sex!” She huffed, pointing towards the exit of the room “Go sleep on the couch.”

You dropped your shoulders in defeat. You had been banned to the couch? Your girlfriend didn’t’ withhold most things and the two of you had a very healthy and active life. There wasn’t true anger behind her words, instead she was testing you. Watching you until you give in.

“Fine,” You huffed, crossing your arms “The couch sounds lovely.”

“Good,”

“Great.”

“Fine.”

You grabbed the fuzzy blanket at the base of the bed and started to stalk towards the door. You could feel Natasha staring at you, waiting for you to turn around and apologize but it wouldn’t happen. Not this time. You were setting boundaries and if that included…no sex… then that was fine. It was fine.

“Zaychik?”

You turned back to Natasha, one eyebrow lifted, “Yes?”

“Leave the blanket.”

She gave you a sugary sweet smile before settling back into her previous position, pulling her computer into her lap. Your jaw was agape, but you tossed the blanket at her nonetheless and stormed out of the room.

The nerve, the absolute nerve!

Natasha wasn’t particularly hard to have a conversation with, but work was nearly untouchable with her. You knew that. She knew that. You did as you were told and protected her and her assets at all costs.

When you got back downstairs you fixed yourself a sloppy peanut butter and jelly sandwich before sulking back into the living room and flopping down onto the recliner in the corner. Yelena had since fallen asleep, and Kate was reading the book while her eyes grew heavy.

“You got kicked out, huh?”

“Kicked out, banned from sex.” You waved the sandwich around in the air “doghouse.”

Kate scoffed “the Romanoff sisters aren’t always the most forthcoming, are they?”

She was looking lovingly at Yelena, stroking her hair as the smaller woman curled deeper into her, fingers clenching at Kate’s flannel and then releasing as she settled back into a comfortable sleep.

“They make it hard to love them, but the moments where the mask slips and they’re vulnerable. Moments like these make everything worth it. And despite everything, you know they care. They’ll always care.”

“Sometimes too much,” you took a large bite of your sandwich.

“No such thing.”

Yelena stirred in her arms, nose pressed against Kate’s pulse point. She clenched her eyes tighter, her next words mumbled “Kate Bishop, if you don’t stop talking you will be sleeping on the couch with y/n.”

“Doghouse,” You said with a long sigh.

“Mm,” Kate hummed, letting out a quiet whisper “Doghouse,”

[Taglist🕷♡: @dumbasslesbi, @lostremind, @toouncreativeforausername @autorasexy @eringranola @mikookaaaaaao @marvelwoman-simp @pacmanmiles @mostlymarvelsstuff, @mrsrushman, @milfsandtittyenthusiast, @random-raccoon4, @ravenromanova, @mysticalmoonlight7, @ahintofchaos@cowboyboots236 @lissaaaa145, @natsxwife]

[tau1tvec]

Some tips for The Sims 3 Buy/Build

Install LazyDuchess’ Smooth Patch to alleviate lag, esp in Buy/Build and CAS.

Keep your CC merged and organized, esp your patterns, this will also alleviate a lotta lag across all modes.

When building on community lots, or any lot rlly, avoid going to the edit world menu, and just put testingcheats enabled into the cheat window, then shift+click the ground of the lot to enter Buy/Build mode. This makes leaving it to save a lot easier, with less “preparing” screens to possibly get hung up in.

Lower your settings, you don’t need any adjacent lots loaded, and you certainly don’t need super water on either. You can always switch these back on when you’re done.

While you’re at it, remove your HQ mod, and turn off your Reshade/Gshade preset, or at least turn off your depth shaders. I only ever turn on my depth shaders when I’m taking screenshots for better fps while playing. The DoF shader esp requires a lotta resources your game could be using to simulate all those 78 townie sims instead.

Save as… vs Save, I Save as… at least every third save. It’s also just good habit to keep backups.

When using the CASt tool, set down everything you plan to CASt first, then switch to a category like the wall tool to avoid eventual lag and drag when using it a lot. Love yourself. You don’t have to suffer using CASt tool in an overpopulated category like misc deco.

Utilize the clone option through testing cheats to duplicate already CASted objects, it’ll keep your design just like the dropper tool, but it’s a lot less time consuming, I promise.

Don’t be afraid to use the swatch save tool for objects you use often, esp community lot objects, as it helps to keep your aesthetic consistent. I also keep all of my favorite streetlamps, benches, and public trash bins etc in a convenient custom collection folder to speed up the process of doing multiple lots in one sitting. These handy tools are there, use them.

The issue with custom counters. They mess up sometimes, if you can’t recolor it suddenly, here’s how to fix that. Now if you can’t place down a cupboard suddenly, even though nothing’s in the way, and you’ve got moveobjects on activated, try putting it on the wall a tile over, and then try adding it to your desired spot again. Lastly if you set down counters or cupboards at a corner, and it messes up the textures, but you can still recolor it, you could do what the video I linked above does, or you could simply pull out the CASt tool, and switch it back to any of its original swatches and click the check, then feel free to recolor it as you want.

Railings will also do the “can’t recolor” trick too, but this is a simple fix, just delete it, and replace it, and you’re good.

“Oh no, I switched between buy and build mode, and now my catalogue won’t load, and I can’t click on anything at all!” Don’t panic, hit F2 and/or F3 on your keyboard, these are shortcuts for switching between them, and if you’re lucky it’ll load properly again. Should you get the bug where you load a category and it’s somehow empty, don’t fret, just click on a different category and this should fix it. Then if you get the bug where all the objects you put down disappear suddenly, sorry your game is haunted. Call an exorcist, or just reload, they might reappear if you do.

Tbh, if you run into any kind of major bugs, it’s likely a sign to either save immediately or just restart your game. These only ever show up when you’ve been at it a while ( at least for me ), therefore starting fresh wouldn’t hurt. Probably also wouldn’t hurt to check whether you might’ve installed something the game didn’t agree with by running Dashboard, or put it through the ol’ Save Cleaner.

Honorable Mention: Keep an eye on the texture sizes and poly counts of objects. I know it’s tempting to build these ultra hyperrealistic lots with clutter at every inch, but unless you’re just doing it for screenshots, or for your story, or using it very sparingly, it is not by any means recommended purely for gameplay. This is just the truth when it comes to any Sims game. You don’t want lag, or max memory crashes, or save errors? The Sims 3 is a 32bit game, that’s almost old enough to drive, be easy on it.

[arinzu]

My Headcannons for bllk characters💋

Part 1 l part 2

Shidou, Sae and Kaiser

💗💗💗

🪳Ryusei Shidou🪳

✿His favorite painting he made was sperm cells swimming towards the egg cells.

✿Middle Child vibes, has a older sister and a gen alpha brother.

✿Was once very emo

✿Makes traditional Japanese painting and donates to the art club since he thinks their chill asf

✿Learned how to do makeup from a website that has too much virus.

✿Very chill outside the field

✿Likes traumatizing children, once a kid came to him and ask 'how babies were made', that kid was his brother.

✿Knows almost every gen alpha or gen z slang known to man.

✿I genuinely think (even if this is canon) he has a room dedicated to sae's passes to him at the u20 vs bl11

Boyfriend Headcannons🪳

♡Your display name on his phone is my pookiebear💗, Cockroach junior🪳, My babagrill💕.

♡Paints you and him kissing under the moon om a bridge.

♡Call him my one and only demon and he'll go feral or just wear he's jersey.

♡If anyone is making you uncomfortable he'll buy a bat and swing that bitch like no tomorrow.

♡Writes a cheesy love poem and reads it out loud to the bllk CCTV that is broadcasting live.

♡If you guys cuddle he'll kiss your collarbone or forehead if you're not ready.

♡Once wore a fairy costume with you for Halloween.

♡Doesn't get why you're insecure about your body, in his eyes you're divine, your perfect and he is lucky to have you by his side.

♡You thought he was into sae until he confess his love to you in the weirdest way possible (he said be my egg cell to my sperm BLA BLA BLA...)

♡Always tries to make you feel love even if it's weird, just know that he loves you no matter what happens

Sae itoshi💋

✿Gives judgemental stares/side eyes to his questionable fans, it's bcuz y'alls Kinda weird...(Some y'all gotta go)

✿He isn't a massive tsundere he's just stoic like that.

✿He got traumatized(prob not)by seeing one of his questionable fans made of him and shidou (hint it was a fanfic)

✿Owns a few Spanish and English dictionary and regularly reads it.

✿Still has a photo of him and Rin somewhere in his place.

✿Has a big ahh tv in one of his rooms to watch horror movies if he had any free time to spare.

✿Almost flip off Luna when they were practicing on more than one occasion.

✿On his childhood he found a stray cat and fell in love with it, sadly he never saw that cat again after he was famous.

✿Wants to file a restraining order against some of his fans, didn't because of his manager.

✿Goes to the internet only for browsing for fights.(he uses a anonymous acc)

Boyfriend Headcannons.

♡Isnt possessive nor protective since your an adult with your own life, and since he knows that everyone knows your his and his yours.

♡Blow him a kiss or any sort of affection to him when he's entering the field, he doesn't want he NEEDS it.

♡If any of his fans are harassing you don't worry since he got bodyguards surrounding you.

♡He loves you deeply and if the media questions that he'll have no problem with clearing up the confusion.

♡Beach dates!

♡Even he might not look like it, he loves your affection, it clings to him like a bug so show him affection.

♡Please do wear his jersey or any of his merch... He wants everyone to know that your his lover.

♡If you cheat on him he'll cut you in half (totally not from who would you choose? Check it btw it's in one of the endings)

♡Cuddle with him, spend some quality time, or just watch his matches he will be so happy.

♡He might not be the best lover you'll have but he'll be the richest one you'll ever have.

Micheal kaiser💠

Half of these are angst and most importantly from his childhood🙂

✿He isn't actually as cocky as most of his teammates think he is, his just hiding that pathetic boy in him so people wouldn't try to use him.

✿Doesn't want to go to therapy since he'll lose out on training that might end up in him going to jail.

✿Hated those kainess shippers on the bllk tv.

✿At one point, somewhere he actually liked ness not romantically but liked as a human, that quickly change.

✿Loves stray animals he often tries to feed them food.

✿Still keeps the blue rose gifted from his mother, it's sacred something he would never give to someone else.

✿When he's about to sleep he has the sudden urge to piss.

✿Has a notebook to talk shit about people.

✿Gets awfully quiet near a store he had stolen from.

✿Vibes with any music genre unless it's about abuse.

Boyfriend Headcannons.

♡Spoils you rotten and buys you expensive things especially with things he wanted as a child.

♡Gets really mad if you gonna ask him when can you meet his family, it's before he told you his past.

♡Whenever he remembers the past he'll snuggle with you until he falls asleep hugging your waist.

♡I REPEAT THIS AGAIN wear his merch, jersey, and buy his plushies he loves to see you with them.

♡If you give his merchandise too much attention, he'll have no choice but to hide them (time to time destroy it)

♡He thinks your the angel that save him from that horrible nightmate.

♡Is probably using you to stop the nightmares.

♡You and his teammates have a somewhat civil relationship, but with ness he actually adores you.

♡Makes you and him matching bracelets or any type of accessories.

♡If you're a questionable fan, he'll give you the side eye once or twice a day.

That's it y'all I totally didn't upload this by accident on more than one occasion.... BUT FORGET THE ANGST AT KAISER

TYSM for reading!

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hellooo!! Ik I just requested but I can't help it- I love ur fics Soo much!!

Can I request a teen!reader who is touch starved and their love language is physical touch? They are an absolute cuddle bug. Their parents (step dad+ bio mom) don't really give her much affections and reader is a quiet and shy kid so she doesn't ask for them either way. Though her quietness was the effect of their father dying when they were 6. Their father was the closest to them. If possible can I get this with Ranpo, Poe and Nikolai? And maybe some head cannons for the rest?

I want to say so much more but I don't wanna bother you😔

You don't bother me, so, don't worry.

And I am sorry l, that it takes so long for me to do your request.

Hugs for a good mood

Self-Aware! Platonic! Nikolai Gogol x Fem! Teen! Reader x Self-Aware! Platonic! Sigma

Self-Aware! Platonic! Ranpo Edogawa x Fem! Teen! Reader x Self-Aware! Platonic! Edgar Allan Poe

Description: Sometimes, all you need is a hug to make a good day into a perfect day.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

__________

A large, colorful box with “Hugs for a good mood” written on it was finally ready.

Paint the TV box, decorate it, write the phrase... It took two hours, despite the fact that your dad helped you. Well, he did most of the work, while five-year-old you were coloring pictures you want to put on the box.

You wanted to climb into the box, but dad stopped you. His big hand ruffle your hair.

"You can't play with this right now. Wait for paint to dry, [Y/N]. Okay?"

You nodded and hugged his leg.

"Okay, dad."

He chuckled and picked you up, giving you a hug.

You giggled. Live was fun and full of hugs.

________

The next year he died. And shyness replaced your easygoing nature.

________

It's been few years since your dad died. You were a teen now and were going to school.

The school bell rang, you pick up your bag and books. The day was over.

You walked down school hall. You saw, how your classmates were leaving in groups, while talking. You were alone. Too shy to make friends, you were on your own.

You bit your lip and walked faster. You just want to go home.

______

Your mom and stepdad were at work. Of course, they always have their phones with them in case of emergency, and you also weren't a kid anymore. But, you really want to have someone near right now.

You wanted a hug.

Your mom was a good mom. She loves you. You aren't holding it against her, that she remarried. Your step-father was a good guy. He respected you, didn't force you to call him dad, didn't force spending time with him. He and mom let you get used to the new situation in your own speed.

You were grateful. But, if only... If only they hugged you more often... Much, much more often.

They loved you. But didn't like hugs.

And you were too shy to ask.

You ate your lunch and went to your room. You will do your homework and will be free to do whatever you want.

And will try not to look in the "Hugs for a good mood" box you still have in your room. That now was in the corner and full of books.

_________

Few hours later. In BSD World

________

Sigma felt, how Little Light landed in his head, cuddling him. Guiding Light's voice, coming from above, followed.

"New Sigma's card has such a great attack. I am so lucky I got it."

Her voice, as usual, sounds warm and soft.

Sigma smiles. The portal soon will be ready, and they will finally see Guiding Light in person. Sigma wonders, how their first meeting will her will go. Sigma was lost in thought and didn't notice, how Nikolai, with a butterfly net, was sneaking up on him.

Little Light left Sigma's head the moment before Nikolai swing his net. Little Light flew away, and Nikolai's butterfly net was on Sigma's hair. Nikolai quickly freed Sigma, and with a quick "Sorry, Sigma

", chased after Little Light.

Sigma rubbed his temples. Little Light was just a floating blob of light, it didn't have body. Anyone who tried to pet it (a.k.a. Oda and Fukuzawa), had their fingers go through Little Light. But Nikolai still tries to catch Little Light (with net) and pet it.

Well, whatever keeps him occupied.

And Guiding Light will have so many head pats from Nikolai.

Sigma chuckled. Soon.

_________

Few months later

_________

You were in your new room. The last few months were wild.

First, BSD Cast were real and adopted you before you met them in person. Second, after a very long discussion with your parents, they agreed to share custody over you. With daily phone calls to mom, weekend visits to mom's house, with spending half of the holidays with her.

The relationship between BSD Cast and your parents were good. Even great. Koyouou and your mom quickly became friends, and your step-father and Steinbeck watched games together from time to time.

Your family became bigger. If only there were more hugs.

A knock on the door interrupt you thought.

"Hey, [Y/N]! Can I come in?"

Ranpo's voice was cheerful. You clear your throat and answered.

"Yes!"

The Best Detective in the World ("you can call me Big Brother Ranpo") skipped into your room and stopped right before you. Ranpo's grin was huge.

"[Y/N], there is something I want to ask you." Ranpo stopped talking, waiting for your response. You tilted your head.

"Um... What it is?"

Ranpo opened his eyes and opened his arms. Did he...?

"Can I give you a hug?"

Your world froze. You can't believe it. Ranpo was asking for a hug.

You nodded and step forward. Ranpo hugged you immediately. You hugged him back and almost melted in the warm embrace.

Ranpo gave you a head pat.

"Don't feel shy to ask for a hug from me, [Y/N]."

The hug from Ranpo was nice. The normal day became better.

_______

You were scratching Karl behind the ears, while having a conversation with Poe (you can call me Superior Older Brother Edgar).

He was telling you about his last book, that go quite well among readers.

You nodded, while Poe was describing ideas for his new book.

"It sounds great, Poe! Can't wait to read your new book!"

Poe grinned.

"And you will be a first one to read it."

Suddenly, Poe stood up from his armchair and walked to yours. He opened his arms for a hug.

"Can I?"

You nodded slowly and stand up. Karl climbed on your shoulders, rubbing his head against your hair. You hugged Poe. He gave you a tight squeeze.

"Here you go, little sis."

A normal day became a happy day.

_________

You were exhausted. All the school work was tiring you up.

You were in the library, finishing your homework. You put pen down and looked up. You closed your eyes. Soon... The school soon will be over.

You heard steps. Then familiar voice.

"Tired?" Sigma hummed. You just nodded.

"Want a hug to make it better?" You nodded again.

The next second, Sigma was hugging you, ruffling your hair.

"Here you go. Go away, tiredness, stop making [Y/N] sad."

You smiled, leaning towards Sigma's hand.

A normal day became a good day.

________

You went to the kitchen to grab some snack. While you were in a middle of making a sandwich, Nikolai entered the room. He looked at the almost finished sandwich on your plate.

"So, I am late for making you a snack? Well then... Want to have a hug? For no reason."

Nikolai opened his arms, inviting you.

You smiled and hugged him. Nikolai chuckled.

"Thank you, sis, for being you."

A happy day became a perfect day.

______

Your life was happy. Full of family members, familial love and hugs.

_________

Headcannons

🐯 Atsushi likes give you side hugs. Will let you hug his paws, when he is half-transformed.

📒 Kunikida will mostly pet your head for doing a good job.

🩺 Yosano will give you hugs for taking good care of your health. It includes you brushing your hair and teeth.

🌨️ Junchirou will hug you just to make you happy.

👩🏻 Naomi likes to give you a "friend hug".

🍵 Kirako isn't a cuddler, but she will sqeeze your cheeks.

🛏️ Katai will let you hug him and his futon, but will be very clumsy, if he hugged you.

🐄 Kenji will carry you during hugs.

🐰 Kyouka is another shy one. You will give each other a side hug.

👘🗡️ Fukuzawa isn't a cuddler, but he will give you headpats and praise.

🦀🪢 Dazai will gush over you while hugging you.

💉 Mori is another one, who stuck with headpats.

🍷 Chuuya's hugs a tight and makes you feel secure.

🌂 Kouyou's hugs are warm. You feel safe each time she hugs you.

🇫🇷 Verlaine will give you small and quick hugs.

🎧 Rimbaud's hugs are extremely warm. He will try to stay close to you during winter.

🚩 Flags will have competition between each other on who will have more hugs with you.

🧥 Akutagawa will give an awkward head pat.

🔫 Higuchi's hugs are soft but quick.

🚬 Hirotsu will hug you for doing a good work at school.

🔪 Gin will give you less awkward head pats.

🩹🧲 Tachihara's hugs a tight and protective. He takes his role of big brother very seriously.

🍰 Elise's hugs are sudden but soft.

💎 Karma is too shy to hug you.

⭐⭕ Kyuusaku are another sneaky hugger.

🍋 Kajii's hugs are tight but stiff. He doesn't know, how to hug.

🍛 Oda gives "dad hugs".

💰 Fitzgerald will be another one, who gives "dad hugs".

🐋 Melville will often ruffle your hair.

🐙 Lovecraft will give you even more awkward head pats.

🍇 Steinbeck likes to pick you up during hug.

☕ Lucy's hugs are gentle and warm.

🪶 Alcott is too shy, but will give you side hugs.

👒 Mitchell's hugs are soft but quick.

♊ Twain's hugs are bone-crushing.

✝️ Hawthorne prefer to give you hand pats.

😷 Pushkin will ruffle your hair.

🫖 Goncharov's hugs are careful and protective.

🐀 Fyodor will brush your hair.

🦇 Bram will let you hug him as long as you want. You can grab into him like a koala and he won't bat an eye.

⚔️ Fukuchi is another one with "bone-crushing hugs".

👧👩👵 Teruko's hugs are sudden and long.

💧 Jouno's hugs are soft and makes you feel calm.

🌸 Tetchou's hugs make you feel like you are behind a stone wall, that will protect you from any danger.

⛩️ Taneda will just pet your head.

💻 Ango's hugs are long, with him ruffling your hair.

🥷 Tsujimura's hugs are strong and secure.

🕶️ Ayatsuji will playfully scoff, while hugging you. His cats will rub against your legs.

👻 Mushitarou's hugs are awkward, but soft.

⌚ Gide will give you soft headpats.

🐉🍎🍏 Shibusawa will give you side hugs.

🐈‍⬛ Natsume will let you hug his cat form.

🤖 Adam's hugs are mechanical, but enjoyable.

👧🏻 Aya hugs you, when you two manage to win games.

🚸 Kousuke, Yuu, Katsumi, Shinji and Sakura will quickly hug you while you five are playing.

[marieracingteam]

The home of a Lilybug – ls.18

stepdad!Lance Stroll | series

word count: 1597

summary: After seeing her dad for the first time in a while, Lily can’t wait to come back home.

“No! I don’t want to go” Lily shouted running from her room.

Luckily for her mom, Lance had quick reflexes and was able to intercept the girl as she fled.

“Where are you going, bug?” he asked throwing her on his shoulder.

She was half dress and with half her hair brushed, but that had never stopped her from walking around the house. And Lance was happy she fell so comfortable and free in their new home. Even if she still called it Lance’s home.

“Not going!” she shouted again when she saw where Lance was taking her.

“Lily, baby. I know you'd rather stay at home or with Lawrence, but your father has come to see you and you have to go with him. It'll just be a little while and then Lance and I will go find you” her mom explained when they entered the room and Lance was painfully reminded of today date.

He had been sick to his stomach since the man called a few days ago letting them know that he will be picking Lily up on Saturday.

In the two years Lance had been officially dating his girlfriend, the man had only seen his daughter two times, both a few hours before he got tired of the five years old girl. However, it was the first time Lance had been there to see it happen.

The couple had argued the night before about it. Lance didn't understand why the girl had to go if she clearly didn't want to and his girlfriend didn't know how to make him understand that keeping the peace was the only way for the man not to threaten them again with asking for joint custody just to annoy them.

It sucked, clearly, and Lance couldn't wait for the day to end.

“But I don't want to go!” the girl protested again, still kicking on Lance's shoulder. “Tell him I don't want to go, Lancey.”

“I'm sorry, little bug. I promise we'll be there soon and you can call us whenever you want,” the driver reminded her, touching her little wrist.

Shortly after the move, Lance had found on one of his trips a trendy bracelet with which couples could send messages and had immediately bought some for themselves. It was perfect so that Lily would always know that Lance was there for her, even if he was away on the other hemisphere of the world.

However, hell broke loose when the doorbell rang, awakening the girl's tears and inconsolable crying.

“You open it,” Lance asked, taking Lily in his arms to calm her, knowing that if he was the one who opened the door, the day would not end as well.

“Lancey!” the girl begged in a pitiful cry.

“I'm sorry, little bug. I'm so sorry. I promise I'll come right away for you. I'm sorry,” he murmured over and over again as he rocked her, hating every second of that day too “But you're going to have a great time, I'm sure. Are you going to tell me later what you did?”

Before the girl could answer her mom came to pick her up, dressing her up in a minute and a second later she was out and gone.

However, the tears were not gone as her mother started crying once the door was closed.

“You don't know how much I hate myself for the father I gave her” the woman confessed once Lance hugged her.

“Lily is lucky to have you. It's not your fault that man doesn't know or want to be a good father. You've done what you had to do for her” Lance confirmed. “You are the best mother, love”.

Under other circumstances, the couple would have already found something to do without the girl, as they sometimes did when Lily stayed with Lawrence or Lance's mother. But that day no one did or proposed anything special. Much less seeing how their bracelet didn't stop lighting up with Lily's messages and the ones they send back.

“Tomorrow we can go to the beach,” Lance said while they had lunch. “Take advantage of what's left of the heat.”

“Yes. We could go to the restaurant you wanted on the way back,” the woman answered, but without any real emotion in her words.

It was only two hours into the girl's departure when the woman's phone rang. Regardless of the food on their plates, both ran to the driver's car.

“I bet he only took a photo with her for his mother and he's already tired of playing dad” the woman complained, clearly furious.

And she was more or less right. She had been right in thinking that everything was a little act for the man's mother, but she had not thought that everything could be a surprise for the birthday of the woman, who had only seen the girl once before the couple separated when the man decided he didn't really want to be a father.

As if Lily was a gift that the woman could open and then forget with the rest of her handkerchiefs and bags.

“Stay outside” asked the woman.

“I can’t, love. I’m sorry but this is me too. That’s my girl inside” Lance answered stepping inside the restaurant.

“Mom!” they heard as soon as they entered and soon enough a small body came crashing into the woman's legs, climbing her desperately. 

“She was bored,” the man explained, coming to where the couple had stopped. “She said she'd rather go home”.

“You said you were going for a walk!” the woman reproached him.

“It was my mother's birthday, what did you want me to do? She hasn't seen her in a long time,” he explained, pointing to the group of older women who they obviously had wanted to impress with their happy family.

Lance knew little about the man, but he knew enough to know he hated him. He was a snob and a scumbag in his opinion. He had coaxed the woman with pretty but empty words. He had promised her the moon in exchange for a magazine family that he only wanted to show off in front of his co-workers, but that had quickly bored him behind closed doors.

A few months after Lily's birth, the man already had other new toys and his past life packed in boxes. Boxes that couldn't fit a woman he had promised to spend his entire life with or a girl he had only given a last name to.

Years latter, that girl only came to his mind when people asked about her or when his conscience knocked on his door again, which happened rarely.

Lance had put out with that for long enough. He knew that his girlfriend could take care of the man, he knew that she was the one who should do it, but how could he sit idly by when it was his girls who paid the price for a man as small and ridiculous as that? Lance had come across many men like him in his social circle and his father had taught him how to swallow them without even having to chew them.

Money and values did not always go hand in hand and for some that was the right choice. However Lance knew that that was the only way one could truly succeed. He was the clear example of that, since he would be the one to return home with them, wallet and heart full.

“The next time you want to see her will be at our house” Lance said finally. “Under her mother's supervision. You can call whenever you want, but it will be under her mother's supervision. I know you are a very good lawyer, but I can hire a hundred like you, so choose your battle well the next time you want to play the happy family. Understood?”

“Who are you to decide about my daughter?” the man said, facing the driver.

“The man she calls when you screw up. And the man who can ruin your life if you screw up again.” Without sparing him another glance, Lance took the girl from his mother's arms, needing her weight in his arms, and grabbing the woman's hand, he headed back to the car.

He could apologize to her later for butting in, but from the way she was looking at him, Lance didn't think he had to.

“I want to go home, Lancey!” Lily called from his arms.

At that, Lance stopped abruptly in the middle of the street. The girl had buried her face in the driver's chest and she was clutching his shirt with both hands, as if she was afraid that he might leave at any moment.

Lance's heart stopped every time she called him that, but this time it had been something else that had made him stop in his tracks.

The driver forced himself to forget everything that had happened minutes before with that man in order to appreciate that moment purely.

“What did you say, Lilybug?” he asked with the sole intent of hearing it again.

“I want to go home, Lancey.”

“To our home?” He asked again, looking at his girlfriend too.

That was the first time Lily had referred to that place as her home and not just Lance's home.

If Lance hadn't had his hands full he would have recorded that moment a thousand times so he could play it back every night before going to sleep.

“Home” the girl murmured.

“We're going home, Lilybug” Lance promised, kissing the girl's head.

note. sorry i've been missing for a while. i've been suuuuper busy. but i'm back now!

[hellishjoel]

delicate - chapter one: someone new

3.4k / pairing: joel miller x f!reader

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

summary: Sarah decides it’s time for her dad to start dating again. Joel isn’t sure he needs to, but decides if it’s for Sarah, he’s willing to give it a go. After a few failed attempts, he finally stumbles across someone new. 

A/N: This is the first chapter of a new fic co-written with @thetriumphantpanda - we’re both so excited for you all to finally read what we’ve been working on. You’ll be able to find the masterlist on both of our Tumblrs, and we’ll be taking turns in posting chapters, so if you want to keep up to date with posting, please make sure you’re following us both! 

warnings: Joel being terrible at dating apps, mentions of being a single parent, flirting, rom-com vibes, allusions to more mature themes but nothing explicit as of now, foul language, mentions of food & alcohol, Sarah & Tommy being menaces. 

“Dad, have you thought about settling down soon?”

Joel had nearly just sat down at the dining table, a warm bowl of chili stinging his hands as he set down a glass of water with a quiet huff. 

“Am settled down.” He grumbled, diving straight into the warm bowl with ferocity. 

Sarah sighed quietly and circled her fingertip over the rim of her water glass. 

“I mean,” she tries again, “settled down with someone.”

Sarah knows this is a weird topic to bring up over dinner. She can see it in the way her father stops chewing on his food, his water glass halfway to his lips now frozen midair.

Since she was a small girl, her father’s world revolved around her. She put the sun in the sky and the smiles on his face. He put her through years of soccer practice and clarinet lessons, drove her across the state for tournaments, and made her favorite dinner when it was her birthday. She was his little girl. 

Sarah knew she had a very loving father, always lucky in that regard, but that love felt a little lost when she started attending university. All she could think about was leaving her dad in an empty house with no one to cook for, no one to bug about cleaning their room. He didn’t have anyone besides Uncle Tommy. And Sarah was sure that was the last person he wanted to spend his free time with.  

Fresh from graduating with a bachelor’s degree in biology from Texas State University, Sarah opted to live at home for a year in the hopes of saving up money for med school. And perhaps she could complete the side quest of finding a potential date for her dad. 

Joel clears his throat and wipes his hand on a paper towel, smearing it a reddish-orange from the chili.

“Don’t need anyone else when I’ve got you, peanut.” He gave a lopsided smile and continued eating. 

Why would she ask something like that? Why was she thinking about finding someone for him? 

Joel thought of himself as an independent man. Never went looking for love, going on about his business, so why start now? 

Sarah looked unsure of what to say next, wanting to push the conversation and letting that uncertainty fill the air between them. 

Joel sighs, his spoon sputtering in the bowl and listening to it clang around the rim. 

“You don’t gotta worry about me, kid. I’m fine on my own.” He insisted, shrugging casually.

“Uncle Tommy and I were talking about you, more specifically about you dating-”

Joel buried his face in his hands, letting out a loud, exasperated sigh as he ran his hands down his face, calloused palms scraping against beard stubble. 

“Sarah, what did I tell you about talkin’ to Uncle Tommy? Take nothin’a substance from those conversations.” 

“Dad, please.” His little girl was frowning now, desperate puppy dog eyes searching his own. “How bad would it be if Uncle Tommy and I put you on a few dating apps, y’know? You could meet a nice woman, take her out for dinner, do whatever you want, but you can’t not try anymore.” 

Joel snuffed out a scoff, quickly dialing it down once he was receiving daggers. 

“Peanut, ya just… you get to a certain age where you give up on that type of stuff. Love n’all. M’an old dog, been outta the game for too long.” Joel returned to his dinner, thinking the conversation was done and over with. 

Sarah let out a heavy breath through her nostrils and crossed her arms. “Dad, we’re finding you someone,  or at least we’re going to try. You can’t just-just shrug off your feelings!” 

Sarah’s chair scraped backward, standing up suddenly and commandeering the room. 

“It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. What happened with Mom was a long time ago. You can’t shut off trying to find love. I saw you go on two dates when I was growing up. Two! You can’t say you’ve tried, you can’t say you don’t want it, everyone wants to find their special someone. And you,” she said with wide, frantic eyes. “You are not done trying. Not if I have anything to say about it.” 

Joel sat in silence as Sarah retrieved her bowl of chili and glass of water, fleeing up the stairs to her room. He sat back in his chair, shifting his jaw from side to side in thought. 

Guilt festered in his chest. Seeing Sarah so adamant about something like his love life was telling it was something she thought a fair amount about. She worried about his happiness, his life alone. 

Though he thought a life of solitude worked well for him, he couldn’t deny that small part of him that wished he had someone to share the little moments with. Sarah wouldn’t be living at home forever, and she would never be replaced in Joel’s heart, but maybe she was right that it was time for him to start trying again. 

“Okay, so I downloaded Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, eHarmony, and Farmer’s Only.” 

Sarah paraded around Joel’s smartphone, downloading different online dating apps left and right while he watched helplessly beside her on the couch. He could feel a headache spark in his temple already. 

“M’not a farmer.” 

Sarah simply shrugged and opened up the first app, Tinder. “True, but we’re trying to keep our options open.” 

Joel sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions, hearing the front door open without a knock. His brother, Tommy, paraded inside, a six-pack of beer in his hand and a jean jacket in the other. 

“The hell are you doin’ here?” Joel asked as he saddled his hands on his knees and pushed himself off the couch, eyes narrowed on his younger brother. 

“What? You think I would miss Sarah putting you up for auction?” 

“Hey,” Sarah said defensively, disliking that her Uncle Tommy was making fun of her genuine attempt to find Joel a woman. “Don’t make him feel bad. It took several hours of convincing just to get him to hand me his phone.” 

Tommy sneered and plopped down into Joel’s recliner, cracking open a beer despite it only being late afternoon. Hell, he might need one too. 

“Okay, Dad, focus. We need to fill out some of the Tinder prompts.” Sarah patted the section of the couch beside hers, Joel joining her after a few grumbles of resistance. 

“Prompts? What sorta prompts?” He asked, craning his neck to look at the phone screen she held up in her hands. 

“Prompts to get to know you better. You know, like, what are your likes and dislikes, what are you looking for in a relationship, where would you want to take someone for a first date,” Sarah continued the list until Tommy’s chuckle broke her concentration. 

“Ain’t Tinder for hookin’ up with chicks?” Tommy asked, making Joel’s head snap to Sarah. 

“Sarah, the hell are you doin’ to me?” 

“It’s not just for hookups, dad-”

“Yes, it is.” Tommy snicked, making Sarah glare at him. 

“C’mon, we’re trying everything to see what sticks.”

Joel felt rather hopeless about the whole ordeal. They added pictures, and Sarah crafted answers for his prompts. He didn’t really know what the hell he was doing with the whole left, right, swiping action. At one point, he expanded the age search by accident and didn’t realize it the next morning until he got a very forward message from a young woman. 

Hey, good looking ;) you look like a big man in more ways than one, if you catch what I mean… how about you come over to mine and show me a good time, I bet we can make it fit if we try hard enough. 

Joel storms into the kitchen, shoving his phone at Sarah’s face, “Take that damn app off,” He demands, “It ain’t for me.” 

“What did she say to you?” Sarah snorts, taking the phone from him, Joel watching as she holds her finger on the icon until it wobbles. 

“That ain’t for you to know,” Joel shakes his head, “Just delete the damn thing off my phone.” 

He watches as Sarah presses the cross in the corner of the icon, making a mental note of how he can delete the rest of them later when she’s not watching, she hands his phone back to him, taking a sip of orange juice, whilst he pockets the phone. 

Despite his first attempt at dating apps failing horribly, he was intrigued. A lot of the women out there were beautiful, some with children of their own from past relationships just like him. 

Joel was trying to watch the first Dallas Cowboys pre-season game with Sarah when his phone buzzed with a notification. It was just one of those that stated he had potential matches out there on Bumble. 

He chewed at the inside of his cheek, flicked his eyes up to the television screen, and clocked he wasn’t missing anything before he opened his phone. 

A few profiles later, he landed on a woman he found with a nice smile. He read through her profile, even letting out a quiet chuckle. 

Sarah’s eyebrows were drawn together with curiosity, watching her father smile goofily at his phone. 

“What’s goin’ on with you? You’re scaring me.” She teased as she pushed herself off the couch and leaned over his shoulder to see he was actually on one of the dating apps. A small sense of pride filled her. 

“I like ‘er. Got a nice smile, funny too.” Joel affirmed with a nod. He swiped like he was directed to, but then there was nothing. 

His face fell, smile and happiness swirling down the drain as he grew frustrated. 

“How the hell do I message ‘er?” He asked, neck craning as he held up his phone to Sarah, his silent way of asking for support. 

“You can’t message women first on Bumble. They have to like you back and message you first.” Sarah said with a shrug, snagging her dad’s beer from his hand and taking a quick swig. 

Joel was only scowling in disappointment and frustration. “Y’mean, I can’t even talk to ‘er? I can’t be a proper gentleman and make the first goddamn move?” 

He grunted in annoyance, swiped back his beer, and threw up the glass bottle to drain the last of its contents as he deleted the app. “Sick of these damn datin’ apps already. None of them are worth a damn.” 

Sarah sighed quietly and found her way back to the couch, nervousness settling inside of her. He wasn’t a very disagreeable person, in fact, her dad was neutral about a lot of things. What did he want to have for dinner tonight? Anything was fine. Which movie did he want to watch? He didn’t care, said she could pick. So why was he finding so many excuses with the apps? Not even the women, but the apps. 

Part of her thought about him trying to find a woman the old-school way, but he was maybe too out of the game to brush up a conversation with a random stranger. He might fail miserably, but maybe it would help with his confidence. He only had a few apps left, ticking off one by one. 

Joel stared at the ceiling, encapsulated by the slow-circling fan overhead. Darkness laid a dark veil over his bedroom, a sliver of moonlight being cast through the window. His head laid back into the pillows, jaw ticking from side to side as he lay wide awake. He lightly scratched his chest, feeling the dark hair that clustered at his sternum as his head rolled to the side and read the digital numbers on his clock. 

Another sigh left his parted lips. It was late, far too late for someone who worked the early mornings to be awake. At least tomorrow as Friday. 

His phone vibrated gently on his nightstand, a little chime he wasn’t accustomed to. He plucked his phone from the charger and squinted at its brightness, sitting up on his forearm to read the text. It was a message from a woman on Hinge. They had matched. 

Joel grunted and stared blankly at his lock screen until it went black with inactivity. No. Just go to sleep, Joel. Forget about it. He set his phone on the bed and laid on his side, digging his cheek into a pillow and forcing his eyes closed. Well, what was she doing awake at this hour? 

He opens his phone, clicking on the ‘H’ icon with its tiny red notification dot. He pays no mind to reading the message yet, instead clicking onto the mystery womans profile. The first picture is one of her wrapped up in a big coat, plaid scarf wrapped around her neck with a bobble hat and something warm clasped in her hands - it looks like she’s in a big city from what he can tell from the blurry background behind her, but he notices how happy she looks - big grin plastered on her face that reaches all the way to her eyes. 

Scrolling further down her profile, he finds the first prompt ‘Best Travel Story’ - her answer reading about a time she’d been hiking with her family. She likes the outdoors Joel thinks - something he and Sarah also enjoy, but he shakes his head before he thinks too much about a third person he can take hiking. There’s another photo then, clearly taken in the summer - she’s in a lovely dress, sitting at a table with a young boy on her lap, perhaps a nephew? He tries not to imagine that he’s stumbled across another single parent, what good luck that would be. 

Joel doesn’t make it much further down her profile - just to the section with all of her basic information. She’s around his age, shorter than him but not by much, she’s got a yes next to drinking, but a no to smoking and drugs, and she works in marketing. A steady job, he thinks. He’s praying, silently, that when he clicks back to her message, she’s sane. 

Good evening Joel! Sorry for such a late message, I’m a slight insomniac. I love your profile, you seem lovely! How are you doing this evening? (Or this morning depending on when you read this!) 

The corner of his mouth twitches into a small smile. A slight insomniac who thought he was quite lovely. Her words, not his. Maybe asking Sarah for help on his profile wasn’t such a bad idea. His fingers twitched above the keyboard, but he was unsure of what to say next. 

Joel sat up in bed, about to shove the covers off his lap and ask Sarah for help, when he took another look at his digital clock. It’s too late to wake her, he thinks. He’ll have to craft a response on his own. He dreads it, words never really being his strong suit. Would he look creepy if he replied this late back? 

Looks like we’re both slight insomniacs. Besides being unable to fall asleep, my evening was fine. How are you doing tonight, ma’am? 

Joel sighed and stared at his response, picking it apart and cursing under his breath. Now, he was wide awake. 

Ma’am? Way to make me feel 101… charming though, I like it ;) I’m doing okay, thank you. Just enjoying the only peace and quiet I get before I go to sleep. What’s keeping you up then, Joel? 

Joel’s face crumpled, pushing a hand through his hair after reading his response over and over again. He meant it in a gentlemanly way, not to make her feel old. He really screwed the pooch on that one. Nipping at his lower lip, he tried again. 

No offense intended ma’am, I’m just a Southern man is all.  Don’t mind about what’s keeping me up, I want to know about you. You don’t get much peace and quiet until midnight? How’s that?

None taken, just not used to someone being a gentleman on these things - normally at this point someone would be asking for a picture of my tits so you’re doing well so far. It’s usually my son that keeps me up, he’s been asleep a while but I only get so much time to clear up after him, so midnight is me time once that’s all done. You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s keeping you awake? 

Joel’s smile only grew larger as she responded, and rather quickly, too. He imagined they looked quite similar right now. Different towns, different houses, both curled up in bed and staring at their phones, waiting for the other to reply. He wondered if she was smiling like he was, trying to push away an undeniable flutter in his stomach. Making him feel like a damn teenager. 

His face softened at her response. My son, she said. That boy on her profile, with chubby cheeks and a toothy smile, a head full of hair, and glee all over his face, was her son. She was a mother, just like he was a father. He wondered if she saw the young woman in his pictures and knew that was his daughter, Sarah. How could he subtly drop the hint? 

Those aren’t gentlemen, just boys. Sorry to hear they were wasting your time. I understand your limited personal time. When my daughter Sarah was young, my alone time consisted of sitting in the truck during her soccer practices and after she went to bed. It’s not easy. What’s keeping me up is partially Sarah’s fault. She’s the one who urged me onto Hinge. I don’t really know what I’m doing, to be honest. Just know a pretty flower when I see one. 

Is Sarah the young girl on your profile? She’s beautiful if so, you must be so proud of how she’s grown up. Well Joel, you don’t seem clueless, you’re keeping my attention pretty well, especially calling me pretty, I might be blushing. What made her decide now was the time for you to start dating? 

He’d never admit it if anyone asked. But it looked like he still had that Southern charm, you never really grow out of it. He reached over and plucked the string to his lamp, sitting up against his bedframe and sipping on a glass of water as he read over her reply again and again. He had a fondness for the way she complimented his baby girl. She got extra points for that. 

Yep, that’s my Sarah. She’s going to med school next year, couldn’t be prouder. I suppose she graduated from college and thinks she knows everything now. Thinks I need a love life. I think she’s felt this way for a while, but she knows I’m stubborn. What’s your son’s name? Looks like a good kid. 

Smart and beautiful, you must have very good genes Joel. That’s incredible though, I can imagine how proud you are of her. Well, I for one am pleased she’s pushed you here, you seem a really nice guy Joel. My son is Noah, he’s seven so full of beans, I’ve never known anyone have so much damn energy! 

And you seem like a real nice woman, ma’am. Sarah had so much energy at seven, that’s when I put her in soccer to run all that damn energy out of her. 

His fingers hesitated, typing out the message but not quite pressing send. He liked her. He liked how sweet and funny she was. Plus, she understood what it was like to have a kid, someone who would always be put first. 

Since it’s technically 12:57, are you doing anything tonight? Is having a drink okay for a slight insomniac? 

Well, thank you very much Joel. I have a feeling Noah and Sarah would have gotten along well if they were the same age, he’s just started soccer practice for that very reason. And, lucky for you, Noah has an evening with his grandparents tonight, so a drink sounds lovely. Just let me know a time and a place.

His heart was thumping in his chest, a tired little grin on his face as he offered to take her to The Aristocrat Lounge on the North side of Austin. They settled on seven, enough time for Joel to get home, shower, and convince Sarah to help clean him up a bit. A daunting feeling pressed into his chest, making his breath snag tight in his lungs. He was nervous, those strange butterflies still fussing around. He shoved them down, persistent on ignoring the feeling. 

It’s a date. Try to get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, ma’am. 

[cheeeeseburger]

Late night shift

Fernando Alonso x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: A Donna and Harvey dynamic? Yes please! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes. Enjoy!

“Can you transfer me…”

“The last email? Already did.”

“Thank you, dulce. Can you confirm…”

“Your presence at the gala? I already sent both of our RSVP, like last week. Duh.”

“Oh, ok, thanks. Can you bring me a cup of coffee then?”

You rolled your eyes. “Fernando, your latte is already in your office, like usual. I’ve nearly finished mine. I used your card. Thanks for the free drink, I guess.”

He looked at you in admiration. “You truly are amazing; do you know that?” His words shouldn’t have pleased you as much as they did. You should be used to it by now, he thanked God for making you apply to be his assistant multiple times a day. You blew him a kiss, winked and replied as you exited the room: “Oh baby, you haven’t seen anything yet.” If you had looked back behind your shoulder, you would have seen his eyes full of high esteem and something else that would have woken up the butterflies in your tummy.

Ok, maybe calling your much older boss “baby” wasn’t the most professional way to act, but it was just the way things were between you and Fernando. They had always been like this, ever since you had started working as his assistant, three years ago. You had quickly picked up on his habits, and not a week after you had started the job, he had already nicknamed you “dulce”. Everyone around the paddock knew you two as a pair, an item even. If he was somewhere, it was because you told him he had to be there at a specific time, and you were always right next to him. The media loved your dynamic, and your name was always associated with his. If he was the dad of the grid because of his age, then you were the mom simply because you were partners in crime. Even his parents treated you like a daughter in law. Honestly, you looked like an old couple, always bugging the other, but caring deeply for each other.

The thing is, you two were not a couple, not even close. There wasn’t an ounce of romance between you two, sadly. At least, it was sad for your poor, poor heart who jumped every time you were next to him, so basically every minute of the day. Sometimes, you thought he might feel something for you too, like when you were on flights together, and he sat next to you so you could fall asleep on his shoulder, or whenever it was late at night, and he knocked on your door just to ask you if you wanted to order food. He also left a doubt in your mind whenever you were his automatic plus one to any event, and he had a possessive grip on your arm all night, or when he treated you to something you didn’t even remember mentioning to him.

But every time you got your hopes up, he asked you what shirt he should wear for his upcoming date, or which car he should drive to pick a lucky lady. With your heart crushed, you always answered the white one, because it made him look crisp, and you said to drive the Porshe, because the Valkyrie was your favourite, and just like its owner, you wanted to keep it to yourself.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜

“Fernando, baby, I won’t be able to attend the gala with you next week. Do you have someone in mind that you’d would like me to contact to be your date?” You dropped this bomb so casually, on a flight between two continents. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea, since you were stuck in an enclosed space with him for the next few hours.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you’re not going with me?” Oh boy, he was pissed. You just continued working on your laptop. “Don’t worry, I can still work as your assistant there even if I’m going with someone else.” You rolled your eyes, which you probably shouldn’t have done, because he looked really irritated now.

“Stop playing with me. You’re going with someone else? Who are you even going with anyway?” Oh, if looks could kill. You regretted being in an airplane even more, because if he did end up killing you, you’d be in international waters, and it would be hell in court. You’d have to find the best lawyer there is. Oh wow. You were thinking about hiring a lawyer for your possible murderer. You were just that good at your job.

“Just some guy who owns shares in Aston Martin. Don’t worry, it’s not a lot.” He just stared at you, and now you were really starting to feel uneasy. “Don’t kill me, please?” You asked sheepishly.

That got him out of his trance. “What?” Ok, maybe you had gotten too far in this murder fantasy. He continued: “Why don’t you want to go with me?”

Bless his heart, he looked sad for a second, but the look of fury came back very quickly. “Fernando, it’s not that I don’t want to go with you, it’s just that I got asked out, and since I’m single, I said yes. It’s nothing personal, really.” You shrugged.

“You want to be with this guy? For life?” He interrogated. You raised your hands in the air: “Woah, woah, buddy. I haven’t even gone out once with him! I’m just considering my options.” You suddenly felt self-conscious. “I don’t want to be single forever, you know. What if I turn forty and I’m still all alone in life?” You started to fan yourself and pretended to faint for a more dramatic effect. That effectively lightened his mood.

“You know that I am over 40 and still single, right?” You stuck your tongue at him, and he tried his hardest not to laugh. “Is it because he’s rich? I am rich too, you know.” It was your turn to be offended. “It’s not because he’s rich! It’s because he asked me out and he seems nice, that’s all! Why aren’t you happy that for once you will not be stuck with me? You have the opportunity to invite whoever you want!”

His mood was like the weather at every Canadian GP: changing in a second. He pinched his nose in frustration. “Dulce, if I’m not going with you, I’m going alone.” God, he was exasperating. You had to remind yourself he was your boss; otherwise much harsher words would have come out of your mouth. You settled for a simple “Fine!” to which he also replied “Fine!”

Nobody was actually fine. The rest of the plane ride was pretty much silent.

。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜゜。。+゜

Although you tried not to think about it, your relationship with Fernando was definitely strained after that conversation. You pretended that everything was normal to not raise questions from other people, but you knew something was wrong. He did not kiss you on the cheek like he used to do at least once a day, he dropped the nickname he had for you, and even started to avoid you. You were heartbroken. You did not understand why he was so hurt. You thought you did the right thing by accepting that he was not interested in you like you were in him and moving on, but perhaps not. You felt sick all week until the gala.

Honestly, you were not that interested in your date, but you had to pretend for the night. When he picked you up in his flashy car and he complimented your look, you acted all shy and pleased when really, you didn’t give a shit what he thought about you.

He was right though; you did look gorgeous. Your dress was very flattering on you, it gave you curves in all the right place, and your hair and makeup gave you that old-Hollywood look that is to die for. Also, your boobs really looked good, which is always a confidence booster, right? (A confidence boobster, even?) You always felt beautiful, but tonight, you felt hot. The cameras flashing and the looks you got as you entered the gala confirmed your feeling. Oh, your ego would definitely not fit through the door.

You were sitting alone at a table while your date went to get you something to drink.

 “Already alone, dulce? Even though you’re far from turning forty?”

You looked up at Fernando, and your stupid heart betrayed you by doing a backflip. He looked so fucking good in a suit, it was criminal. He looked like the hero of those mafia romance books that you loved in secret. His white dress shirt made him look very dashing. It made your imagination run wild with fantasies involving you grabbing him by the collar, and wearing nothing but his unbuttoned shirt while he made you breakfast the next morning. Oops.

You flashed your biggest smile at him. “I’m not alone, I have you!” You jumped from your seat to give him a big hug like you always did. Gosh, he smelled so good. You knew his perfume because you were always the one reordering the bottle, but you made a mental note to order a bottle for yourself. Perhaps you could spray it in your underwear drawer? Once again, oops.

“You look beautiful, dulce.”  You gave him a spin so he could really take in how good you looked, and his gaze was full of adoration. He even flushed a little bit. You stared him up and down. “You look good too, baby. I’m glad we went with the black suit.”  He smiled at you. “You have good taste, dulce.” This conversation was the most normal you had all week, ever since the airplane incident.

“I can’t believe you went alone! You’re so stubborn!” You lightly smacked him on the arm when you saw that he truly was unaccompanied. He shrugged and winked at you. “Like I said, it’s you or nothing, amor.” You crossed your arms on your chest, which made your boobs squeeze out of your dress a little, and he definitely peeked at them, but he’s such a gentleman that his eyes were immediately back on yours. You just wanted to scream: Look for as long as you want, baby. Do you want me to remove my dress completely, perhaps? On your bedroom floor, maybe?  You ultimately decided against it.

“Thousand of women are crying all over the world because of you, Fernando. ABBA are currently removing their song Fernando from their catalogue. Do you realize the consequence of your actions?” While you were joking, he suddenly got very serious, and his voice got very deep when he asked “Do you? Do you know why I can't bring anyone that is not you with me?”.

It felt like the air had changed in the room. You were suddenly very hot, and his eyes on you didn’t help with that. You bit you lower lip, and he seemed like he wanted to take you right there, right now. He was giving you his best bedroom eyes. Your legs felt weak as you imagined him fucking you, the noises he would make, the screams he would get out of you. He was definitely the type to talk you through it. The thought made your toes curl. You just knew he would help you clean yourself after because you wouldn’t be able to walk. God help you, if he kept staring at your lips like that, you would have to take him against the wall like a starved woman. Were your panties wet already?

Your moment was interrupted by your date, which you had completely forgotten about. The sexual tension was definitely still there, though. You introduced him sheepishly to Fernando as he gave you your drink. As soon as the two men started talking to each other, you finished your espresso martini in less than three sips.

Fernando and your date seemed like they were in a weird show off competition. Both were trying to intimidate the other. You grabbed a champagne flute from a nearby waiter and you downed that, too. There’s no way you would be able to go through this awkward conversation sober. Both guys were acting way too possessively. As soon as Fernando put his hand towards your lower back, your date tried to grab you by the arm, but Fernando just gripped your waist harder. You felt like the favourite doll of two very intense toddlers.

Eventually, thank God, your date was called by someone he knew, and you were once again alone with your boss.

“I don’t think he’s right for you.” Fernando immediately said as soon as he left.

“Gee, okay, dad.” Daddy almost slipped out. Almost.

“I am serious, dulce.” Just like you did frequently these days, you rolled your eyes at him.

“Don’t worry, from the way that you acted, he’s not going to want to go out with me ever again. Why did you have to act like a protective older brother?” You whined. Actually, you didn’t care if your date never talked to you ever again, but Fernando didn’t have to know that.

“Older brother?” He looked pissed at the words. “He’s way too old for you, anyway.”

“He’s literally your age, Fernando. And you’re not too old for me, are you?” You wanted to stomp the floor because he was getting on your last nerves.

“I think I’m perfect for you, dulce.” What did he say? (Cue the meme)

Once again, your date, which you were slowly starting to despise, interrupted your moment when he got back to your side. To make matters worse, you three were at the same table for the dinner. It was the longest, most awkward meal of your life. You were sitting in the middle, and both guys were fighting for your attention. It could have been flattering, but it was just so fucking annoying. You kept sending apologetic glances to the other people sitting at your table. Fernando abruptly left to go sit at another table. What a child.

Your mood lightened when the atmosphere changed from a formal dinner to a party.

“Do you dance?” you asked your date. “Never”, he replied. You sighed as you watch everyone leave for the dance floor. You loved to dance, and you could not even have this small thing tonight. This night was a complete failure.

Your favourite song started playing. You just wanted to get up and dance with your date like everybody else was doing, but the stupid asshole was apparently to busy playing Candy Crush on his phone. Gosh, could this night be even more horrible? You just wanted to go back home and cry, until you felt a hand pick up yours.

“Come on, amor. I know this is your favourite song. Nobody puts baby in the corner.” He winked and pulled you to the middle of the dancefloor.

You were stunned. Not only did he know your favourite song, but he had also quoted a line from Dirty Dancing, the movie you always watched during airplanes ride. It was your job to know his favourite food, his preferences; but he had gone out of his way to learn your habits and your favourite things. This was the most romantic thing that has ever happened in your life. This only usually happened in movies like Dirty Dancing. You just stood there, not moving, too shocked to do anything.

“What’s wrong, dulce?” Fernando asked, worriedly. Your nickname, the smile he reserved just for you, his lingering gaze, the info he had gathered on you; it all made so much sense now. He wanted you, just like you wanted him.

You grabbed him by the collar like you had wanted to do all night, and you started to kiss him right there, in the middle of the dancefloor. He did not hesitate. He immediately kissed you back and put his arms around your waist.

This was the best kiss you had ever had. Years of wanting him made you desperate like that, and apparently, he was desperate for you, too. He tasted like sugar and spice and everything nice but also like “I’ve wanted to do this all night” and “Wait, no, I’ve wanted to do this for years”. You were in synch; the world could have stopped, and it wouldn’t have changed anything. You didn’t even think for a second about that other guy, nor did you think about people watching you. Most everyone though you were already together anyway.

“Am I dreaming, baby?” you said as you pulled away. He softly cupped your face with his hands.

“No, dulce. I have been dreaming of kissing you, though.” Your heart melted.

“You have?” You asked in a soft voice. He kissed you again, but it was slower this time, more delicate. He wanted you to realize how badly he cared for you and how long he had been dreaming of this. Was this real? You had never felt as adored as you felt at this instant. People were all around you, dancing and enjoying themselves, but it was like you were alone with Fernando, in another world, on another planet.

“Amor. Surely you must know that I care more for you than anyone else. You’ve always been more than my assistant. I’m happy to call you my friend, but I hate it at the same time because I can’t stand the thought of us being just friends.” He caressed your face. The vulnerability in his eyes touched you to your core, and his words send a wave of heat through your body. This was the most romantic thing that has ever happened to you, but also the hottest. He caused some serious butterflies in your tummy.

“Baby, I don’t like us being just friends either,” you replied, your lips only a few centimeters away from his. He stared hard at your swollen mouth and crashed his lips on it. You locked your arms behind his neck, and he put his large hands around your waist to get a better grip. Oh gosh. He had only kissed you, but he had already ruined you for every other guy out there. One thing for sure, your panties were wet already, and from the bulge you felt on your thigh, he was enjoying himself too.

“Dios mio, amor. I should have done this earlier,” he chuckled and looked at the ceiling. This man was turned on. Like, sooooo turned on.

You leaned in even closer to whisper in his ear: “Don’t worry baby, we’re just getting started.” Your lipstick lingering on him, his perfume on you, the heat in your body, it was all overwhelming, so when he asked you “Do you want to get out of here?”, you were quick to answer: “Yes!” and to lead him out of the party.

Fernando was holding you close to him while you two waited for the valet to bring out his car. You were blushing and giggling like a teenage girl because you finally had the man of your dream in your arms. He kept giving you kisses, and it was like he could not believe it was now allowed.

You first saw it out of the corner of you eye. It was a real beauty, and you were in awe of it. The valet got out and gave back the keys of the green Valkyrie to Fernando. You wanted to scream. Surely, you must be in a rom-com. In your wildest dreams, this was the car the picked you up in to go on a date. You were like a kid in a candy store.

Fernando smiled at your enthusiasm. “I know it’s you favourite, dulce.” He opened your car door and you shrieked when you got inside.

“Oh, baby, this is way too good!” You were busy with touching the leather of the seat and admiring the interior. He had taken you on hot laps before, but never in this car. Apparently, he was saving it for a special occasion.

“I’m glad you like it, amor.” He started the car and drove off smoothly into the night. Wow, this guy is good at driving, maybe he should do it professionally or something?

As the air hit your face, you were hit by a wave of happiness. You shouted at the world: “I was made to be doing this!”

The Spaniard put his hand on your thigh and replied in a sensual voice: “Si, amor. You were made for me.”

Fernando drove really fast, but you wanted to get to his place so badly that it was not nearly fast enough. His hand slowly going higher and higher on your thigh was not helping your sudden need for speed.

Finally, you arrived at his place. Like a gentleman, Fernando opened your car door. Unlike a gentleman, his lips immediately crashed on yours. You two danced a frantic tango to get to the door of his place, your mouths never apart for more than a second. Eventually, you managed to get inside.

“I need you so bad, baby. I’ve needed you for years.” You immediately kicked off your high heels and started to remove his suit jacket. Your words must have pleased him, because his hands started exploring your body and he gently bit your lower lip. He pushed you against the wall.

“Oh yeah? Why didn’t you say anything before?” Honestly, why didn’t you? Dumb bitch.

You felt your eyes roll back in your skull when he cupped your boob with one hand and your ass with the other, his mouths still leaving love bites all over your neck.

“I wish I did. I’m so stupid.” The tango was back because you tried to move the action to the bedroom. He obviously knew the layout of his place by heart and so did you, since you had been there many times before, yet none of you seemed to know where it was.

“Amor, you know that I’m never letting you go after that, right? From now on, you’re not just my assistant. You’re mine, and I’ll make sure that everyone knows that.” You crashed into the walls many times as you made your way to his bedroom. Pictures were shaking, just like your legs. The walls of his house trembled, just like your walls did.

He finally managed to lead you to his bedroom, and he put you down on his bed. Fernando laid on top of you and leaned down to your ear: “Say you’re mine, dulce. Tell me you belong to me.”

His weight on your body felt so good, but you were aching for more. You craved any kind of friction to ease the heat between your legs, so you started to rub yourself against the bulge in his pants. It’s not like you didn’t want to answer him, it’s just the way he moved on you that left you speechless. Your toes curled and you started to moan, and although the way he let you move on him like that told you he liked it, this wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

Fernando pinned your wrists on the mattress. “I’m not playing anymore, little girl. Tell me you’re mine, or all of this will stop.” You immediately answered him between two moans: “I’m yours, baby. I’ve always been yours, and I always will be.” He grunted like an animal at your words, and you lifted your hips to have more of this delicious friction. He started to make out with your throat while you unbuttoned his white dress shirt as fast as you could. You were tracing lines on his chest with your fingers when he abruptly stopped. “Wait, wait, wait, mi amor. This wasn’t supposed to be like this.” He sat on the bed. You propped yourself up on your elbows, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Was he regretting this already?

He continued, looking pained and disappointed with himself: “I’ve thought about this before. I was suppose to take you on a nice date, then ask you to come home with me. I would’ve driven you around town in your favourite car, then I would make love to you slowly, so you would know how much you mean to me. This feels rushed. I want to take my time with you. At least, I got the Valkyrie part right.” You wanted to swoon after his rambling. He looked so upset, you wanted to cry out of empathy and love for this man. He nicknamed you “dulce”, but really, he was the sweet one.

“Fernando, baby. There’s nothing I would change about this night so far. This is a thousand times better than any date you could have taken me on.” You put your hand on one his cheek.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin things between us. I want to treat you right, because you deserve the world, amor.” If you weren’t certain you loved this man before, now you were.

“Baby, being with you feels better than owning the world. I’ve never been as happy as I am right now, and you couldn’t be more perfect. But if it makes you feel better, we can start again.” He started to calm himself by massaging your calf.

“How, amor?” It was hard to focus, because him sitting on his bed with his dress shirt open was quite the sight to see, but you managed to reply: “Like this.”

Although it pained you, you removed his hand from your body and got up from the bed to exit the bedroom. Confused, he followed you all the way to the doorstep outside.

“What are you doing?” You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I had a really nice date with you this evening, Fernando.”

“Ah, I get your little game now.” He laughed and gave you a tender kiss, the one you assumed he used for his first date. You hoped he would never use it ever again. “Me too, dulce. Would you like to come in?”

You gave him a flushed smile. “I would love too, baby.” He took your hand and brought you inside. “Shall I give you a tour?” he asked. You replied: “Oh yes, absolutely. I would especially like to see the bedroom. I hear it’s where you burn all your left-over energy.” He smirked at you playing innocent.

When you got close to his bedroom door, you stopped to give him your second-date kiss. You never kissed with your tongue until after the first date, and he knew that. “This is your famous second-date kiss, yes?” You laughed against his mouth. “Oh yes. And on the third date, I usually sleep with the guy.” His breath hitched, and he brought you inside the room.

“When I first sleep with a woman, I usually start by removing her clothes.” He spun you so your back was facing him. You lifted your hair and he slowly, oh so slowly started to unzip your dress, making sure to let his fingertips linger. This felt like the longest foreplay of your life. When your dress dropped to the floor, you shivered, and he turned you to get a better look at your body.

“Dios mio, amor. You’re so beautiful.” He stared at you in adoration, eyes filled with lust and something that you would not dare to call love, even though that’s what it was.

You flushed and tried to look away, but he lifted your chin with his fingers. “Thank you, baby,” you replied shyly. He removed his already unbuttoned shirt. “I think I’ve taken enough my time, amor.”

“I don’t think I can wait anymore, Fernando. I need you inside of me.” Your words send him into action. He very carefully lifted you to the bed, and he laid you there like a pastry he was about to devour.

“I think you’ll have to be patient for a little while, dulce. I want to treat myself to something sweet.” He dragged you to the edge of the bed and he got down on his knees.  He put your legs over his shoulders, and he got down to eat you. Oh, God. He ate you like a man starved. You were his own personal meal.

His tongue licking you made you scream his name, but what really did it for you was when you saw him touching himself. This man was getting pleasure out of eating you out, and that turned up your arousal to another level.

It wasn’t longue after that you gripped the sheets as hard as you could while you screamed his name. He let your orgasm last by never removing his tongue.

When he got up, shirtless, with a very noticeable bulge, you grabbed him by his belt to bring him back on the bed.

“That was the hottest thing that has ever happened to me, baby. You treat me so good already. But I can’t be patient anymore, I think.” You hurriedly removed his belt and played with the zipper of his pants. He laughed.

“It’s okay, amor. You’ve been a good girl, you deserve this.” Oh. Oh. Since when did you have a thing for praise?

“I’m clean, and I’m on the pill, so you don’t have to wear anything, if you want,” you offered shyly. The enormity of what was going to happen suddenly hit you. Oh God, were you really about to sleep with your boss that you’re kinda in love with?

He let out a possessive growl. “Good, because I don’t want anything between me and you. I need to feel you as you are.” Damn. Were you listening to one of those erotic audiobook or did he really just say that to you?

Fernando once again went on top of you. He adjusted himself and angled his body just right. When you felt the tip inside of you, your eyes immediately rolled to the back of your head. He was so big.

You whined: “Fernando, I don’t think it’s going to fit.” He slowly let himself in you. “You can take it. You always manage to fit things in my schedule. Surely this is nothing to you.” You moaned loudly.

The pain was just too good. “Baby, never putting you in a meeting earlier then 10 in the morning is a thousand times easier than making you fit inside of me.” He chuckled, but as he got more and more deep in you, he started to grunt.

“Amor, don’t get sassy with me now. Take it like a good girl.” You pushed him deeper inside of you by putting your legs around his waist.

“On it, boss.” You usually sounded so confident, but your words were nothing but another cry of pleasure in a sea of moans. You felt your orgasm build up inside of you as he kept pounding into your body. Applying to be his assistant had definitely been the best decision of your life. Who would’ve thought that on top of being paid to travel the world, you would be receiving incredible orgasms on the side?

“Dios mio, mi amor…” Fernando whispered in a low, sensual voice. You shut him up with a fierce kiss.

“Baby, stop saying that. I should be the one to say it, because I’m so fucking close, but I am praying to God that this never ends.” He pounded hard into you.

“Are you thinking about someone else while I’m inside of you? I must be doing something wrong then.” He managed to laugh in between thrusts and grunts.

“I can assure you, boss, you’re doing everything right!” You screamed as your orgasm hit its peak, and you came undone. His thrusts got sloppier as he finished, too. He looked at you and wished that everybody could see him dripping out of you. Not now, but maybe someday, he won’t let anything spill because he’ll be trying his hardest to put a baby in you. For now, this already perfect view would have to do. He took a mental picture.

Fernando rolled off of you and sat against the headboard, breathing heavily. He pulled you in his arms in a tight grip and started playing with your hair. With your swollen lips, the light layer of sweat on his body and both of you tangled in each other, you looked like the cover of the dirtiest romance book you owned.

“Am I allowed to say it now? Because dios mio, amor. That felt incredible.” He sighed in your hair. You blushed, pleased that he had enjoyed himself as much as you did. The man of your dream just rocked your world, and he liked doing it.

“Yes, you are allowed, baby. You gave me two orgasms; you can now say anything you like.” You laughed and turned your head to give him a quick kiss.

“Only two? Dulce, that’s not enough. Do we have anything planned tomorrow?” Your heart jumped in your chest at his use of “we”. It was very endearing an it made your heart ache from happiness, but if he used “nosotros”, you might just come on the spot.

“No baby, we have nothing planned.” As his assistant, you obviously knew his schedule by heart, and tomorrow morning, he was now booked and busy with the task of giving you pleasure all day long. You made a mental note to add it to the calendar.

He sighed in pleasure and closed his eyes. “That’s perfect, amor. I have an idea of what we could do.” His breath slowed down as he fell in a state of deep relaxation.

“Really? Tell me?” You couldn’t help but to shut your eyes. Being in his arms was too comfy.

“First, we’re going to wake up in each other’s arms. After that, I’ll make you scream my name, but I’ll have to put something over your mouth to not wake the neighbors.” You shivered at his perfect fantasy, but he wasn’t done. “After that, I’ll bring you breakfast in bed, to give you energy for what will come next. All afternoon, I’ll take you in every single location in my house, perhaps even outside, to find where you come the quickest. Finally, I’ll take you out for a nice dinner, to show off your hickeys to the world.” Your toes curled. This was even better than your wildest sex dream involving him.

“Sounds like a plan, then.” He locked you in his arms, and you both drifted to a light sleep. You woke up, suddenly realizing something: “Oh no!” Fernando jerked awake. “What? What’s wrong, dulce?”

“I forgot to say bye to my date! Oh no, I’m awful. I don’t want to hurt his feelings,” you replied, genuinely worried. Fernando laid his head on your shoulder, and you felt him shake as he laughed.

“Dios mio, dulce, only you could be worried about making another man feel bad while being in bed with me.” He was howling with laughter.

“What!?I like to be nice!” Fernando chuckled at your sweetness.

“I know, dulce. And I love you for it.” He kissed the top of your head.

Being his assistant was easy, but you were now applying for the position of girlfriend. He hired you on the spot, and let me tell you, you were damn good at the job. The boss was pretty nice, too. Your bonuses now came in the form of "I love you."

Since you were a loyal employee, the position was taken for life.

[thetfspot-inanimate]

Lucky Singlet

Full Story and 2nd Image FREE for free members at link in my Bio!

--

Tyler's wrestling buddy, Tent ripped his singlet during a match and had a second match scheduled in an hour. Unfortunately, he didn't have a second singlet. Tyler was done for the day and offered Trent his singlet, but they both knew he wouldn't fit in it. Trent was running out options and was going to have to forfeit, which would cost him his shot at college regionals.

Tyler, already lost too many matches to go to regionals so he contemplated helping out his friend. Tyler, was a Chemistry major and had been working on a mixture that would change living organisms into a objects, but only if a piece of that object is mixed in with the mixture and a person drinks it. He had tested it on bugs and it worked on one mouse, but he'd never tried it on a person…

He looked over at Trent who sat forlorn in the empty locker room, head in his hands, and clutching his torn singlet. With an aching feeling that he would regret it, Tyler knew he had to help out his friend and told Trent about the mixture and what it could do. He told Trent that he would be his singlet for this match and this match only.

Trent's smile beamed and he bear-hugged Tyler, squeezing a little too hard. Trent was elated and was hopping up and down, still not loosening his grip on Tyler. It was only 5 minutes until the next match started and Trent encouraged Tyler to hurry up and drink it while Tyler tried to explain how to apply the second vile of serum that would change him back.

"The white serum is in my duffle bag and I'm leaving it under the bench in the locker room by your locker," Tyler said, "Just fold me up and make sure I am fully covered with it and I'll turn back in an hour, or so."

"Yeah, yeah, got it! Please hurry! Right now! I need it right now!" Trent responded.

Ripping off a piece of Trent's singlet, Tyler put the fabric in the uncorked bottle of yellow liquid and swirled it a round. The object started to bubble and dissolved in the potent concoction. Tyler looked at it and put it to his lips, hesitating, wondering if it was truly a good idea to drink the untested experiment.

"Come on, dude!" Trent begged and grabbed the base of the bottle, tipping it up forcefully into Tyler's mouth.

Without much of a option to protest, Tyler drank the contents of the bottle dry and immediately could feel the toxic liquid changing him from the inside out.

His skin felt weird, light, and cool as any slight breeze of air became more sensitive. His body felt hollow and it was getting hard to stand. He folded in on himself and fell to his knees, however, his knees to not catch his fall. He fellll directly onto his face, which started shifting downward to be the crotch of the singlet he was becoming.

You're shitting me, my face is really going to end up here? Tyler wanted to say but his mouth vanished into the pouch of the singlet. Pale white skin changed to yellow and black fabric, at an alarmingly rapid pace. He didn't expect the transformation to go that quickly, maybe it was because he drank all of the liquid while the test subjects only had a few sips? Whatever the reason, his body morphed into its final goal, hollowing out holes for Trent's massive legs to go.

"Thanks, buddy! I owe you one!" Trent said, wasted no time stripping naked and walking over to Tyler's flat form and picking him up.

Weighing only a few meager ounces, not being able to control any part of his form, and being completely fabric was extremely disorienting to Tyler. He didn't expect to have so much of his senses still. He could see, smell, taste, hear, and his touch felt heightened in a way. He was dropped to the floor and Trent swiftly yanked both of his beefy legs through Tyler's leg holes, stretching them past their intended limit. At first, being stretched like that was scary for Tyler, but surprisingly, it felt… arousing? it was as if someone were stretching his prostate. The other leg going in him felt the same way.

The motions were quick but Tyler new exactly what to expect next, just not to the extent of what to expect next. He knew Trent was hung, the singlets don't hide much when it comes to the imprint of another man's junk. He had also sneaked a couple of peaks at Trent when he was changing in the locker room, but getting to feel Trent's oversized cock press against his face, he didn't expect it to feel that big.

His pouch bulged out, every crevasse filled to the brim with Trent's man meat, yielding the same stretchy pleasure that he felt when Trent's legs filled his form, but this time in his face and mind.

Why does it feel so… so good? Tyler wondered as if could speak.

Trent, with not much consideration to his friend, adjusted his dick and balls through Tyler's former face and finished pulling Tyler up and over his body. Too sexually confused, and rather appalled for that matter, Tyler did not notice the rest of him being stretch onto Trent.

Trent quickly threw on his helmet, put in his mouth guard, and snapped on his pads, and walked out the locker room door on his way to his regional qualifying match.

Every step would elicit a feeling for Tyler. The wind blew through every strand of his fine fabric body. Every bounce and jiggle of Trent's horse cock sent micro-pleasures through Tyler's fabric mind. Trent's muscles contracted and expended, pushing and pulling Tyler's fabric, helpless to do anything but follow.

Tyler reminded himself, this was just temporary and would be over in less than 30 minutes. And whatever bursts of pleasure he was feeling, to put aside and just observe what was happening in the match. Heck, this was practically an up-close-and-personal lesson from Trent to learn his style and see what makes him so good.

Before he knew it, Trent was standing on the wrestling mat and the bell rang. The match had started and Tyler was too busy thinking about Trent, and needing to be changed back and…

The collision of the two men sent and uncanny wake-up-call through Tyler's entire existence. Like every strand of his fabric had goosebumps. The two men didn't stop, rest, or hesitate to grab and man-handle the other to the ground and Tyler could feel every part of it.

Whatever inkling of learning from Trent Tyler had, was now out the window as he was thrown around, grabbed, stretched, collided, and pressed in between two toned, muscular, giants.

Every movement he felt and every rub released some sort of pleasurable feeling, like nothing he felt as a human. He could compare the feelings vaguely. Being rubbed was like having his skelp massaged, and being pressed was like receiving a hug, but again, every part of it felt more than any of those actions would've if he were just a human. More stimulating and more arousing.

Beads of liquid sweat soaked into Tyler from every pore of Trent's muscular body. Trent's dick flopped and bounced in every direction, rubbing against Tyler's fabric face and getting half-hard in the process, further stretching Tyler out.

The bell rang. It was over? Trent's body was over his opponents. He was breathing heavily, and Tyler could feel his chest rise and fall with great succession. Both of Trent's hands were over the other guy's shoulders, pinned to the mat. Trent had won the period!

Heck, yeah! At least it's paying off and he's winning! Tyler thought.

The two behemoths reset, and the next period started shortly after. The same cacophony of pleasure induced disorientation and litany of fabric euphoria shook through Tyler's form. Until again, the bell rang, ending in the same way with Trent over the other man, declaring him the winner and sending him to finals!

--

The joy both Tyler and Trent felt as Trent walked back to the locker room was palpable. Every stretch, every bounce, ever disorienting grab, or musky bead of sweat that Tyler endured was fully worth it now that Trent was going to regionals!

"Dude! That was awesome!" Trent said with a skip in his step, "That was supposed to be my hardest match yet and I beat him faster than I've ever beaten another opponent! Wearing you must be lucky or something!"

Tyler couldn't help but feel the sense of pride he played in helping his friend's dream come true. He was so happy for Trent and in his mind, he was celebrating along with him.

"Did you see that one really quick turn I made the first round that got him onto his back, or that…"

Trent kept talking to Tyler about the match and all the different moves that he made. He opened his locker and started throwing things in his duffle bag and… he put on a hoodie over Tyler?

No no no! Dude! Take the hoodie off, you got to change me back! Tyler screamed in his thoughts as a pair of grey sweatpants followed, blinding Tyler into a muted darkness of warm fabric.

Trent kept on talking, but Tyler couldn't hear anything. He had suddenly become overwhelmed with an unrelenting panic. The fabric against his fabric body felt tingly, almost as if he were being tickled, but he was too concerned to focus on that feeling for more than an observation.

The silent screams of protest were not getting through to Trent as he continued to move and even started to walk. Tyler tried to move, to signal somehow that Trent was forgetting the main thing that Tyler explained to him, but he couldn't do anything, he was just a singlet.

Trent's thunderous steps boomed down the hall and onward. Trent opened what sounded like a car door, sat down, and started the ignition. Tyler's thoughts were flooded with profanities and worry. Anxiety, panic, doom, anger, frustration, every negative emotion was passing through Tyler as Trent put his foot on the gas and drove away, leaving the remedy in a duffle bag that will probably end up getting thrown away by the janitor.

[nephalem-da]

Hiiii the request you wrote (sarcastically yours) was so cute and I really loved the gender neutral non description of the reader like somebody else pointed out in the comments too.

I have another idea/request if you happen to be up for it.

Bill x gn!reader who is touch starved and had a terrible week. When Bill pops up to cause trouble they just snag him from mid air and trap him a hug as they lay down to cuddle him if he wanted to or not.

Over all mood can be kind of reader being tired and not taking shit or giving any fucks while he quirms in their hold, complaining and threatening them dramatically because how dare they just cuddle him? And why does he feel strangely cozy?

Anyway, thanks again for bringing the first request to life <3

Have a lovely day!!!

Caught In A Hug

(Bill Cipher x GN!Reader)

Enjoy!

Genre: Humor, Fluff, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warning: Emotional exhaustion, Bill's chaotic behavior (mentions of bugs, fire, etc.), Light angst, fluffy ending.

Summary: After a rough week, you're too tired to deal with Bill Cipher's antics. When he appears, you pull him into an unexpected cuddle, ignoring his dramatic protests.

After an exhausting week, all you wanted was some peace, but of course, Bill Cipher had other plans. The chaotic dream demon had been popping in unannounced, causing trouble like always. But tonight, you were done. When he appeared mid-air, ready to start his usual antics, you didn’t hesitate. Reaching up, you snagged him from the air, pulling him into a firm embrace as you collapsed onto the couch.

“What the—HEY! What do you think you’re doing?” Bill’s voice was loud, his single eye widening in surprise as he flailed in your arms. “Let go of me, fleshbag! I’m the all-powerful Bill Cipher! You think you can just—HEY!”

You ignored his dramatic outburst, too tired to care about the dream demon's protests. Your arms tightened around his floating form as you sighed, settling deeper into the cushions. “Not today, Bill. I’ve had a really crappy week, and I just need this. You can complain all you want, but you’re not going anywhere.”

His yellow, triangular body squirmed against you, and his eye darted around, probably plotting some chaotic retaliation. “Oh, you’re gonna regret this! I’ll make bugs crawl out of your cereal! I’ll—ACK! Hey, are you even listening?!”

“Nope,” you muttered, eyes already half-closed as you buried your face into his smooth form, not bothering to think about how weird it was to be cuddling a literal demon triangle. “You’re warm. Kinda cozy too.”

Bill sputtered. “Cozy? ME? You’ve got some nerve! I’m a nightmare, a terror, an all-knowing force of the universe! And you—you—let go right now, or I’ll—” His threats trailed off as you shifted slightly, adjusting your grip to pull him closer.

He wriggled, floating slightly above you but still locked tight in your hug. “You really have no idea who you’re messing with, do ya? This is gonna end badly for you, I swear—Hey, stop nuzzling me! What’s wrong with you?!”

“Bill,” you grumbled, barely opening your eyes. “I’m too tired for your drama. Just… be quiet for a bit. I’m not letting go.”

There was a pause. You felt him stiffen, probably trying to figure out how to react to the situation. You couldn’t tell if he was more annoyed, confused, or horrified that you dared to trap him in such a mundane, human gesture.

“This is so beneath me,” he grumbled under his breath, though his voice had lost some of its earlier venom. “You’re lucky I’m feeling generous today. Normally, I’d make you regret this for eternity.”

You snorted softly, tightening your hold slightly. “Sure, Bill. Whatever you say.”

The room was quiet for a while after that. You could still feel Bill’s occasional squirm as if he couldn’t decide whether to break free or not. His eye darted around, and you could tell he was struggling with the situation—partly because it was so mundane, and partly because… well, he wasn’t used to this. Who would hug a literal chaotic being?

Bill’s grumbling gradually faded into silence, and you felt him settle in your arms. Despite his earlier protests, he wasn’t putting in much effort to escape anymore. It was almost as if he was… relaxing?

You could feel his energy pulsing slightly against you, warm and oddly comforting. It was bizarre, really—cuddling Bill Cipher of all beings. But right now, with how drained you felt from the week, it was exactly what you needed.

A while passed before Bill spoke again, his tone a little quieter and far less aggressive than before. “This doesn’t mean anything, got it? Don’t go thinking I’ve gone soft or anything.”

“Mmhm,” you mumbled, too close to sleep to argue. “Sure.”

“And I’m only letting this happen because you’re clearly too weak to handle my usual brilliance,” he continued, though it sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as you. “But just wait. I’ll make you regret it. I’ll turn all your furniture upside down, make your mirrors talk back—maybe even—”

You interrupted him by shifting slightly, pulling him even closer. Bill went silent, his body tense in your arms again as if he wasn’t sure how to react. After a few beats, he let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “You’re impossible.”

Despite his words, Bill didn’t move. In fact, he moved a bit closer, his usual chaotic energy now strangely subdued. For someone who thrived on chaos and destruction, being held like this clearly wasn’t something he understood—or was used to. And yet, he didn’t pull away.

The longer the silence stretched, the more you noticed a subtle shift in Bill’s attitude. His squirming had stopped, and while he still made the occasional sarcastic comment, his usual snark had softened into something more… tentative.

“Alright, fine,” he muttered at last. “But don’t think this is a regular thing. This is a one-time deal, got it? You try this again, and I’ll—”

“Mmhm,” you repeated, your voice sleepy. “Whatever you say, Bill.”

Bill grumbled something unintelligible, but his protests were far less forceful now. His body felt warm and secure in your arms, and despite all his complaints, he hadn’t made any real effort to escape.

As your breathing slowed, you couldn’t help but notice a strange, unfamiliar comfort in his presence. Bill Cipher, the all-powerful, terrifying demon, was somehow… calming? Cozy, even.

And though he’d never admit it, you had a feeling he didn’t hate this as much as he was pretending to.

“You’re still going to regret this,” he muttered, though his voice was softer now, almost tired.

“Sure, Bill,” you whispered, finally drifting off to sleep, still holding him close. “Whatever you say.”

And for once, Bill Cipher didn’t argue back.

[starsainzjr]

Ink on Tanned Skin

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x tattoo artist!reader Faceclaim: Mitra Yosri

✷✷✷✷✷

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by chrishemsworth, thenewclassic, thehughjackman and 39,173 others

inkby.yn All set up in the new studio @/highsocietytattoomelbourne! Come by and visit me!

Books are now open for February and March. Email me: inkbyyn@gmail.com to get a spot! Can't wait to meet everyone!

View all 617 comments

thenewclassic RUNNING

inkby.yn RUN FASTER

thehughjackman Finally! Been looking forward to this for longer than I am willing to admit.

inkby.yn You're gonna have to wolverine a few people if you don't hurry

chrishemsworth I'll bring you those Lamingtons you love if you get me in before Hugh

inkby.yn @/thehughjackman Now it's a competition

inkedmag 👀 New spotlight coming soon

inkedmag Melbourne, Australia

Liked by hanzloch_tattoo, danielricciardo, inkby.yn and 610,384 others

inkedmag First spotlight of February 2024 goes to Yn Yln, @/inkby.yn at @/highsocietytattoomelbourne! Yn is a Melbourne based artist specializing in Blackwork, Florals, and Geometric.

Full spotlight article and interview dropping Wednesday 2/7 at 12 AEST on inkedmag.com and Inked Magazine's YouTube Chanel!

View all 18,186 comments

hanzloch_tattoo Got a blank space... looks like I'm booking a flight!

thenewclassic That's my girl!!!!

highsocietytattoomelbourne Come see her in action! Yn's books are open for February and March now!

inkby.yn Such an honor! Thank you, @/inkedmag for this opportunity!

inkedmag Thank you for inviting us into your space!

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by thenewclassic, danielricciardo, chrishemsworth and 31,203 others

inkby.yn Just a little one to get started in the new space. Thank you to everyone who has booked with me so far!

View all 811 comments

inkie How does she manage to take the simplest designs and make them look so stunning 😭

tattooproblems I would well my left kidney to get a tattoo from her

chrishemsworth Counting down the days

inkby.yn I'm expecting those Lamingtons, Hemsworth. Don't disappoint me chrishemsworth This reads like a threat thehughjackman It is

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by chrishemsworth, inkedmag, danielricciardo and 40,001 others

inkby.yn All I wanted was a picture of the tattoo and he insisted on posing. What a poser this one

Thank you @/chrishemsworth for my Lamingtons and for coming to visit me! Still have a few spots open for March! Email me: inkbyyn@gmail.com to book!

View all 1,028 comments

chrishemsworth Thank you for doing this one for me!

inkby.yn Keep bribing me and I'll do all your tattoos

inkie Yn + Chris Hemsworth = I'm dead

tattooproblems So real bestie

thehughjackman My turn next!

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by hanzloch_tattoo, danielricciardo, inkedmag and 43,427 others

inkby.yn When your client gives you free reign >>>

View all 399 comments

hanzloch_tattoo The best feeling ever

inkedmag Angelic 😇

inkie I would let her tattoo literally anything she wanted on me

danielricciardo Melbourne, Australia

Liked by landonorris, inkby.yn, lewishamilton and 301,103 others

danielricciardo Nice way to start the weekend! Thank you to @/inkby.yn for adding to my collection! Now we're ready to start the weekend 👊

View all 1,816 comments

inkby.yn Thank you for coming to visit! Come back soon!

danielricciardo Hope you enjoy the rest of the weekend!

lewishamilton Danny I'm blaming you for the fact that I now have the ink bug

danielricciardo Lucky for you I know a fantastic artist inkby.yn You flatter me, Ricciardo

dannyricsthightat This is not a drill, we have a new Danny Ric tat

holatodos I'm Not Okay

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by danielricciardo, redbullracing, chrishemsworth and 38,102 others

inkby.yn Got out of the shop for a field trip this weekend. Thank you @/danielricciardo and @/redbullracing for an incredible experience!

View all 810 comments

danielricciardo Thank you for coming!

inkby.yn No better teacher than you were!

redbullracing Just a little longer and we would have had Christian convinced to pay you a visit in the shop

inkby.yn Shucks, guess I'll just have to come again danielricciardo Now that I can get behind maxverstappen1 Yn I have a jet you can come every weekend if you want if it means Christian gets a tattoo danielricciardo I got Zak to get one, I can get Christian to get one

dannyricsthightat This is a matchup I have been waiting my entire life for

danielricciardo Suzuka, Japan

Liked by landonorris, inkby.yn, lewishamilton and 309,186 others

danielricciardo Taking in the sights and sounds before the weekend gets going

View all 1,198 comments

landonorris Who's that guy in the picture with you he's pretty handsome

danielricciardo Meh landonorris 🤯

redbullracing You didn't bring us back any sushi? 😥

danielricciardo My most sincere apologies I shall find some way to make it up to you

dannyricsthightat How is it possible for a man to be so cute and so hot at the same time

landonorris Ikr, I look good danielricciardo In your DREAMS dannyricsthightat Did I just start a grid fight

inkby.yn Tokyo, Japan

Liked by hanzloch_tattoo, inkedmag, danielricciardo and 41,347 others

inkby.yn So grateful to have expanded my horizons this weekend! Off to explore

View all 1,004 comments

hanzloch_tattoo We gotta take a field trip together at some point

inkby.yn The sheer power we would posses hanzloch_tattoo Unstoppable

inkedmag We love it when our artists expand their horizons! Never stop!

tattooproblems The way that she can literally do anything and it comes out perfect EVERY TIME

danielricciardo Shanghai, China

Liked by landonorris, inkby.yn, maxverstappen1 and 371,398 others

danielricciardo Yet another great weekend! Huge congrats to Max and Checo for that finish

View all 2,394 comments

maxverstappen1 Result purely possible because of our number one cheerleaders

danielricciardo Cheerleaders plural? Are you cheating on me Verstappen?? maxverstappen1 I said what I said

redbullracing Danny, do I need to be concerned for my job? Are you going to become the official team photographer?

danielricciardo Not if you convince Christian to keep up the catering

dannyricsthightat This man has been looking unfairly good recently

holatodos My spidey senses are tingling...

inkby.yn Shanghai, China

Liked by hanzloch_tattoo, danielricciardo, chrishemsworth and 40,193 others

inkby.yn That's the end of my art tour! Shanghai has been wonderful, one of my favorite places now. This dragon will be a part of my flash day when I get back on May 1st. Email me: inkbyyn@gmail.com to claim your spot and this dragon! Would love to do it one someone's spine!

View all 1,304 comments

hanzloch_tattoo If you weren't in Australia...

inkby.yn As if you have more room anyway hanzloch_tattoo Ssshhhhhh

chrishemsworth You were in Shanghai and you didn't tell me????

inkby.yn You forgot the Lamingtons last time you stopped by that's just rude, Hemsworth. This is payback

inkie Hey Siri, how much are flights to Melbourne...

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by danielricciardo, chrishemsworth, hanzloch_tattoo and 38,017 others

inkby.yn Trying out a different medium for the night 👩‍🎨

View all 1,371 comments

hanzloch_tattoo A braver woman than I

inkby.yn You could have just stopped that at 'braver' and it would have meant the same thing danielricciardo She got ya on that one

chrishemsworth I'm stealing this idea

inkby.yn It's all yours, Dad holatodos Danny Ric gotta be shaking in his boots at dating Chris Hemsworth's pseudo daughter

dannyricsthightat I cannot believe that Twitter thread was right...

holatodos Who was right... I was right.

danielricciardo Melbourne, Australia

Liked by inkby.yn, landonorris, lewishamilton and 400,193 others

danielricciardo Much needed weekend off

View all 2,108 comments

landonorris How come you've never made heart shaped pizzas with me...

danielricciardo Get better inkby.yn He got ya on that one

maxverstappen1 Daniel do you have something to tell me

danielricciardo There's good wine in Australia

dannyricsthightat Heart shaped pizzas... he really is the perfect man isn't he

holatodos I. Called. It.

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by danielricciardo, hanzloch_tattoo, inkedmag and 32,103 others

inkby.yn A nice and easy one to finish up June. Taking a weekend off, then I'll be back to the grind! Can't wait for everyone to come into the shop!

View all 991 comments

danielricciardo I hear a pretty cool guy said that once

inkby.yn Almost like I have the best inspiration

hanzloch_tattoo THAT LINE WORK ARE YOU KIDDING

holatodos SHE TATTOOED. ONE OF. HIS QUOTES. Okay we're ready for the hard launch now

danielricciardo Monaco

Liked by inkby.yn, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 381,403 others

danielricciardo Managed to pull this beautiful girl away from the shop for the weekend. Been an amazing few days with you, my love!

View all 2,348 comments

inkby.yn Thank you for the wonderful weekend, darling!

danielricciardo Thank you for making it wonderful

landonorris Can Yn come to all the races she's more fun than you are

danielricciardo OUCH inkby.yn Lando knows what's up

maxverstappen1 Definitely my favorite garage guest of the season

dannyricsthightat I'm dying where can I find a love story like theirs

holatodos Aaaaand thank you, everyone, for coming to my TED Talk

inkby.yn Melbourne, Australia

Liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, chrishemsworth and 42,183 others

inkby.yn This is what I get for trying to get some designs done in the garage

View all 929 comments

danielricciardo Don't mind me just admiring the most beautiful work of art in the world

inkby.yn 🥰

chrishemsworth Family dinner is on Friday, don't be late. And I already know the schedule, there's no excuse

danielricciardo Yes, Mr. Thor 🫡 inkby.yn Daaaaaad

landonorris I have literally never seen him look at anyone like this. Not even me

danielricciardo LandoooOOOOOO inkby.yn Stop it that's adorable I can't do this

holatodos I'm retired. I'm retiring. I'm retired.

dannyricsthightat Bow down to the queen everyone

✷✷✷✷✷

All photos from Pinterest, Instagram, or Google Images